#like yes the fact that she—so young and leaving behind so much—has to die is an incredible injustice | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

i-bring-crack · 3 months

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And another reason why I love Solo Leveling Ragnarok is because it slaps you (sneaky but it's there) with the knowledge that yeah, [TLDR] Jinwoo made the most dumb decisions of his life due to him trying to put every single problem in the universe on his shoulders.

Jinwoo as a person

Is someone who has been put through so much since he was young, we get it, we see it, since he is just 14 he was the only man in the house, so a lot of social roles were placed on him. And even though his mom had raised him with care and did all she could to save the family, 2 pressures were already placed upon him when his dad left. 1, that as a man he should help out everywhere and at every time, he was an older sibling as well so he had to protect Jinah this time as a brother and a father, and 2, his mom was a normal housewife, she started to work yes but the family hadn't expected this big of a turn in their life which probably made him even more pressure to succeed, to earn money or something so that he could take care of them as well. (And I can somewhat relate to this based through experience, as well as other familiar experiences I've noticed sometimes. How people slowly start to look for a way to earn money rather than trying to pursue their passions. All they keep thinking about is a way to be financially stable and it leaves a hyperfixation with being rich, working until exhaustion, and sometimes not doing well at school because it's a waste of things they are never going to use. It could also go differently in the case of Jinah where she studied as much as she could to become a doctor. But to Jinwoo, he never got to become or find a passion of his that he liked, even when he had both parents, he never had a reason to pursue anything and simply was swayed into becoming a detective by Jinchul.) So overall, Jinwoo had slowly begun to think less of himself as a person and more as another tool inside the house that should push their weight around to help.

And then he loses his mother to a comma. Not only is he now having to take care of his sister, but also his mother because she doesn't die, she becomes another wight he has to try and keep alive, and her being, well his MOTHER, he would do almost everything to save her. Now, all of his help is entirely cut off. The parents he was supposed to trust on and lean on are gone. And he is now the only lifeline for Jinah, who isn't even an adult so he can't lean on her or make her work, it would be against all he is trying to work for, which is giving Jinah a better life, giving his family a better life.

And this self solitude goes on for 4 more years. No, in fact, it keeps dragging him into more solitude during the four years of working, pushing his weight around, and literally trying not to die make his psyche more stressed on relying everything by himself or else he is a failure of a person.

To the point where HE is the one that sees himself more as a failure than the rest. The people around him are often bothered by his weakness, yes, and he does get the nickname, but that isn't what's going to affect him more in the long run, rather its the fact that he sees himself not worth saving more than the others. Like how he thinks Juhee might be mad at him for always being so weak and constantly getting injured. To the point where even some of the readers agree and think Juhee would never like someone like him in the first place. But thats completely the opposite actually. Juhee cared for him! Invited him on a date! Tries to STAY BEHIND, I REPEAT STAY BEHIND FOR JINWOO. And Mr Song wants him to live, wanted him to get out of the temple, another person in the LN warns him of the lizards. ONE side story literally is about a worker (who I had mistaken for jinchul my bad it's never said actually who he is) who tries his best to get him to safety. There were, are people who cared about him, about his being.

And Jinwoo doesn't see that, most fucked up part is that people need to read more indepth to see that most of the self hatred comes FROM HIM and the people he fixated upon that he thinks think hate him. His weakness is a big part of his problem, but his self worth exceeds more of the problems later on.

So he doesn't see himself as someone that needs to live on. He doesn't see himself as person in his own house but rather a breadwinner or the only thing keeping the household together. He doesn't think he can be anything better because he doesn't have a college degree or is even smart. The best thing he excells at is hunting, and yet he is the weakest.

His only choice is to become stronger.

And now that's fine in his own right. It's what he wanted it anyways (wrong mistake kiddo, he never had ambitions in the first place except survival), so what if he has been mentally exhausted over the past 4 years, basically going through a war but instead of people it's monsters that are very very bloodthirsty (and totally not someone who could reason with them, talk and have their own lives outside of this world but has been forcefully put into this dungeon with the constant command in their heads to kill and destroy everything. No, sir, those stones right there are not brainwashing crystals! They are just profit you can gain by killing them!)

And so what if he gets to live through one of his worst near death experiences that also increased his trust issues through the story?

He gets to be strong! Everything is forgiven, right? (Right, Ashborn????) All the pain and psychological damage he gets to suffer before that or afterward (liking learning to kill people) is immediately rewarded with more points! More strength! More power!

Oh, you don't even have to worry about all those monsters resenting you or hating your guts because you will arise them, and they shall become your most devoted slaves forever! Yes, the only people Jinwoo gets to live with for his immortal life, the only people in which Jinwoo can rely for help are the souls of his enemies and no one else. The souls who tried to kill him, who tied to kill everything he loves as well.

What's the point in this now, though? It's not like the author wanted to give Jinwoo some depth over his characters mental state. Instead, it was the opposite because he managed to deal very well while under that constant pressure. And besides, he likes hunting. He likes it now! (no, he feels satisfaction over holding power in those situations, he was disgusted at having to kill someone, he was angry at himself when he fought rasaka, he hated the ice Monarch for killing gunhee and escaping from his grass so easily than him being a threat. He doesn't like hunting. He just hates being hunted.) There's no need to dwelve on the story because he gets to have a good happy family (who he can never reveal his true self to) and some friends (that he tried to reach out to search because he knew they would never meet in any other circumstance) and a good boss (who knows the true extent of his power and leaves him to be however he please because he has saved the world and also because there would be no way he can stop him from doing whatever he wishes, even if he creates eternal torment for others.) And he has a wife as well!! (Who the story is completely vague about whenever or not Haein truly remembers everything or doesn't at all and just knows that he is pretty fuking powerful. And both of these already are basically a tight rope for her to walk on. It's not like im thinking haein could do something to upset jinwoo, but there's no way she isn't at least somewhat scared by the prospect of what might happen if he gets mad with her. He can do anything. He can even hide your existence, wipe out the memories, and create new ones, there is no one out there that could come close to ever challenging him, nothing out there that could save you if he changed his thoughts in any way.)

And he also has a son!

A son who means everything to him. But someone who can challenge those views of putting every weight on his shoulders as well.

Solo Leveling's Ending

It was great for others, not for some. Personally, I love it as a Shonen and powerfantasy fan, but not as a literary fan.

First of all, there was no reason for the cup of reincarnation to exist, yes, even though some of the past timelines had been alluded ever since the demon castle and its ruins looking the same as SK. The 'one last chance to wrap it up' is complete deuz ex-machina and just absolutely cleans away all the reason for everything in its story. There's no more advanced technology or clean energy resources (new add-on from the anime) There's no people who could get away from poverty and earn new jobs from this industry that requires all kinds of people. (Yes, even non awakened! Like they could study, the monsters gather knowledge to help create more technology or work in a guild. There wasn't much stopping them if the monsters could literally step away from the dungeon, and also, most of the side characters we know of from the US also use their skills more than having a rank.)

"There's no deaths from monsters as well! Thats good right?"

And yeah, it is! But you know, what could have also been well is if Jinwoo could have still let mana come into this world. Magic didn't have a bad outcome for his world. In fact, magic was the entire reason Jinwoo could get to become so omnipotent as he was. But instead of bringing it back to everyone, maybe even finding a way for people to become strong in their own way like make systems of leveling up for others, he instead decides to keep it all hidden. Not for himself, but absolutely hidden.

"But if he didn't, then people would fall into a comma and die, and there's no cure around the Sleeping death!" There is, and it includes a monarch's blood, which if we ignore the sequel. There's no way he can find a demon and create a monarch to drain him every time for mass production. However, he is also, you know, a freaking God. He can shape reality, shift time, he can raise the dead, he can open gates to mine mana crystals so they could sustain the lives of the comma patients, and even then he has the Rulers at his side who could possibly help him find a cure. Of all things if he isn't able to find a cure for Eternal Sleep after all of the power he has in his hands (and not to mention that dream Antares in the extra thought it was just a little disease he could so easily cure) then this would... idk, man, but he still has a stock so he could cure his mother again and give two others for the scientists to study it at least. He has everyone at his disposal. He can find a cure.

Secondly, the story singlehandedly erased every reason for us to love anything about the story apart from jinwoo.

Your favorite characters? Oh, they are alive, alright, but they aren't as you've met them before. Oh, Haein? Is she the badass swordsman who had experienced death and had her own fallout in life that shaped her as a person while also overcoming her own traumas against Beru? Yeah, she is just an athlete now and then a stay at home wife! Swords? What are those? Loosing? Nah. Thinking about the possibility of what kind of being has been attached to you emotionally and psychologically because he thinks that becoming human should also abide by the gender stereotypical tropes and should therefore find a wife first instead of looking for a therapist out there or deal with his psychological problems first before thinking about trying to date a 13 year old (wait no, it's um, trying to make her to date you, leave big hints, and then tell her that for 10 years you has been trying to chase her bc you were the only person he deemed worthy enough to marry. Why? Who knows(strong and beautiful)! The date must have been such a well off success that it seems he has carried those emotions over it and practically decided to latch onto you, being also the only person he WILLINGLY shared all the knowledge to. Yeah, no pressure, baby.)

Oh, Gunhee? His death? Now its more of a pointless sacrifice than a desth for delevopment. Jinwoo still had the reason to kill the monarchs bc they were at some point going to kill the world. Sure, it wasn't as personal, but, you know. Now Gunhee gets to live again, and then we see him die again. Slow clap, everyone, thank you. His death literally meant nothing now. Jinchul crumbled and tried to put himself in his place, but now that doesnt matter since we dont even HAVE a reunion of Jinchul and Gunhee in the next timeline so their entire relationship is gone. Poof. Jinwoo mourning? No, Gunhee just comes back again and gets to live off as a wealthy philanthropist!

Sung Il Hwans sacrifice that impacted whenever or not jinwoo lived through the monarchs attacks? Oh its okay he is alive now! You know it's not like I had wept literal tears for both of these characters only for them to come back in like 3 arcs later. I guess our emotions meant nothing now! Could have just... Not killed them and then gone back in time. Nothing would have changed, Jinwoo would have still wanted everything to be rewinded.

Jinwoo saying, "Too many people died," felt a bit obtuse in my head, though. Too many suffered yes, but like only two, 3 if we count Adam White, that we cared about where dead. And that's about it if I remember correctly. Like the story could have left of a bittersweet note at worst and on a wholesome ending for the future at best.

It wouldn't have been bad even when many died. And yes many did die that we never cared about, but they also died to protect everything they died.

Say, if Jinwoo died, would a random fodder character say his death shouldn't have happened and decided to rewind it all back to beginning instead, would that have left a good impression, to suddenly erase everything he stood for, his powers his title his struggles, all gone because, oh he died from circumstances that could have been prevented? Many things are preventable, disease, war, conquer. But if you just rewind time then it shouldn't matter that they died now. Those who protected their families out of their own will, went through tooth and nails to fight and live on? Yeah only Jinwoo can do that, only Jinwoo should make that descision. So anyways who cared whenever or not the hunters decided to put their lives on the line (and also it's not like during the 10 years until the final war people weren't allowed to retire or just not work as hunters even though they were awakened COUGH Joohee, Soohyung COUGH)

(Or it's not like Guilds, Essence stones and Awakenings could have absolutely benefited other countries in the world to relapse from the economic and social problems while also creating clean energy resources for the enviroment— And not to mention that this entire system isnt based on nepotism at all for those in power but rather sheer luck of who does and doesnt awaken.)

Lastly I would have tied the point back again to the free will of the people, but it's pretty clear from the last chapter what I mean, yet also I need to instilled the point that he never asked. He never thought about what others might think. When the United States got him on camera, he didn't care and never told them the truth. He doesn't think whenever or not his victims would like to get revived or take revenge of constant hell upon their killers. Neither does he care about criminal acrivity outside of Seoul, apparently bc there is no news of criminal activities being taken down globally (yeah, you have the power of a god, but we are so grateful for you never using it except when it disturbs your ambience! It's not like people are being actively enslaved and under constant dictatorship out there. North Korea? Oh, there's no need for you to help them out.)

And what's worse is that his own powers attract even more enemies to a world that has no way to defend himself, and no way to instantly learn about mana!

Great wonderful thing Jinwoo, this is the same as turning back world wars to them never happening even though they had shaped the entire world that we've come to known. But at the same time also keeping the powers on a ticking bomb as to when they will start the wars again.

But hey, he is pretty omnipotent! So what if there are extraterrestrial enemies in his curf and destroying earth every time they decide to come (oh man, it sure does wonders to see more natural habitats be destroyed for no reason and with no way to explain it! I mean where else would he fight them? The cities? People would get to know about magic then and he can't have that happening!) He can best them all with his shadows and then leave as if nothing happened.

There's totally not a single consequence that could come from all of this!

Consequences

To make this faster imma make a list:

The most frequent ones seen in Solo Leveling Ragnarok.

Gates appear and the whole world is in shambles as to what to do! Thus leaving to many people outright confused and many deaths as well (more, had it not been for Jin-Chul's work)

Suho could have died! Because why tell your son in highschool —since you didn't want him to eb alone in middle school, and in his teenage years he still doesn't know the source of any of his powers or his true nature. Up until what age was he going to be kept in the dark jinwoo? WHAT could have happened if Beru hadn't come to save him? Does he also have that death resurrection thing??? I don't know! No one knows!

Oh yeah no monarchs means that everyone who managed to survive the war is now fighting each other because there is no actual order or some higher power for them to listen to. It's become an anarchy on its own and a bunch of them have decided to break into tribes or states to live! Great! If we read out history book for two seconds you know how badly those things go!!!

Cha Haein was basically forced to survive through sheer will and raise a small village on her own. (Oh and how surprising it seems that the elves were reasonable enough to even tall to her and not outright kill her. My goodness. Could it be they also have a consciousness?)

Esil was forced to see her family be killed, after Jinwoo wiped the rest of the nobles, because the gates had dragged her back to her world since she was the only one who possessed demon blood.

The entire race of the dragons went almost extinct. (And that ones between good and horribly bad because they ALMOST went extinct)

Places like North Korea and Ireland have irreversible damage due to the open field gates which have left many to die. Others include Russia and China but they aren't as fucked however the landscapes of their country have changed a lot due to the mass of open field gates.

The ones that came with the side effects:

In the end, possibly another chunk of the population has died yet again (but do we care? No not really, it's not like Jinwoo had the possibility to save this by giving some backup information— or did he just left it all in charge to haein in the case this happened? It wasn't made clear with that bc she was supposed to tell suho about it in case their father disappeared but like... wow she really got a lot of weight on her hands at least give her some of your shadow army so that she can take care of any alien invasions— no? Just kaisel?...ok (honestly he is pretty great I have no qualms with Kaisel. Best shadow in the whole series) but like, you expect her to protect everyone with that? And no, the necklace isn't viable here, there was no other shadow to help her explain the necklaces' feature for her. JINWOO YOU HAVE AN ARMY— AHHHHHHH

Memory confusions between the past timelines and the others. You know because the Rulers had inhabited certain bodies and like I'll Hwang their memories might have hmmm, idk, come back.

Leaving only a few people with the memories of the past did not in fact help him at all, Sung I'll Hwang thankfully got his memories back soon or else he would have also been lost to the power. Thankfully Zhigang and Thomas met Suho or else it would have been another Christopher Reed situation of spirited away.

Too many people began to focus their faith on the foreign religion because they wanted answers to the many problems that where occurring and wanted to also protect their home (cough siddhart sough)

The other possible ones that are not implied but could appear:

Mana condensation. The changing of wildlife and nature as a whole (which is never talked about?! I get it, not relevant to the story. But damn if it didn't do incomprehensible damage.) (Although this one is a vague good or bad thing but a side effect nonetheless)

Again, setting back the age of progression (not only due to the things that could have been invented from mana but also because the gates everywhere would make for a hard situation in which to invent anything at all.)

Leaving open windows of opportunity for the universe to be threatened. In this case, he left many of the races he was supposed to exterminate, alive, bc killing the monarch would already be enough for him. This instead led to a worse possible idea bc 1, had he completely wiped out the other races he could have easily taken away any possible enemies from his sight. "Oh but he wouldn't kill monsters who are weak and defenseless" well too bad Odysseus now you are stuck with demons who are scared of you and resent you for the rest of their lives and will trade with anyone for more power to stab you where it hurts the most. Also, jinwoo had time to finish off everything. Two years was equal to 27 years, he could have dipped in and out and killed the remnants that he might have not noticed were still alive.

This one, though, I also blame it on the Rulers. Bc they would have been the first ones to know or had gathered knowledge that, yes, actually, the monarchs can come back since the fragments of darkness linger around and try to find other hosts for them to live through, it's why the monarchs haven't been able to truly pass on and why the monsters are so keen in finding sacred relics or building temples– because a monarch can come back, and in fact HAS to come back in order to maintain some order in their dimensions. And like, they would have known that, right? They have fought for centuries upon centuries. It feels like a shitty plan for them to not have at least CHECKED if another monarch could have spawned somewhere else, especially when Jinwoo was doing most of the dirty work out there by fighting the giants in his own home.

I think I probably repeated some of these, and it sounds like I'm throwing shade at Jinwoo for being a dumbass (only I can do that. No one else deserves to shame him.) but his actions are more than justified in terms of how Jinwoo is personality wise. It's also more bitter than maddening to see how all of these could have been prevented had Jinwoo decided not to play his part of lonesome hero and instead talked. About everything. From the war to the mana to the crystals. He didn't need to instantly go on a podium and say all the things. But at least, when he had his son or when he came back from he war, he could have talked with his parents about this newfound power. Slowly, he could have shown it to more and more people, especially those he knew about that had honest and good intentions (Adam White, Norma Selner, Thomas, Zhigang, Jongin) he wouldn't have needed to put himself out there as much and he would have relied on others believing him until there would have finally been enough people to understand about mana before finally letting it in. And maybe the Rulers could have come, some other species as well to help humanity interact with them for a while, let Rulers take care of this earth for some time while he goes to other worlds for a moment so that he can slay enemies to other places instead and come back again to see the progress. If they ever wanted to then maybe jinwoo could have given some of the hunters their memories back, and knowing how they took it in this timeline, Jinwoo would have been sure that they wouldn't have been sacred of him nor hated him for the things he had done. He would have had more people to understand what he went through alone, he would have had more friends, the freaking romance would have made a bit more sense in the end with all the memories gathered instead of one-sided (and wouldn't have much of a power imbalance). And he doesn't even need them to be strong enough to hurdle monarchs or giant monsters on their own. He just needs for them to be there for him. That's it. That's it.

Daul and his friendship theme [in Dungeon Reset] and in Raganrok.

Idk whenever or not Chugang had seen the flaws of his own character as much as everyone else, or if he had listened to his criticisms about the one dimensional personality of his own characters, or he just thought Daul was a good writer, could be any of these could be not but one thing for sure is that, he chose right.

Mainly because I haven't seen Infinite Reset, I won't be able to comment much on whenever or not his theme always revolves around building a safe foundation with friendships. But from what I've gathered in Dungeon Reset, a lot of his characters aren't insanely strong or if they are have cheat codes, they aren't completely overpowered in the way that they can best every single thing without anyone's help. There's still others who are stronger or others who can help the MC gather not only the strength needed to fight against the villains but also to help uncover more of the lore as it goes on.

And it works so well in Ragnarok because: We have this prodigy of a child who can not only level up but has been gifted by his father with a whole Shadow Dungeon as well as inherited some of the powers, and yet he isn't a strong man from the start.

Suho is someone who needs help constantly. From the beginning of the series, he never won a fight alone in its entirety. He won it thanks to an external help and his own internal progression. He levels up, but he isn't completely broken (though he is stronger than his father in some levels because he chooses to add more of his points in strength rather than intelligence. He is like a "what if Jinwoo had invested more points in strength all the way instead of suddenly shifting his focus to intelligence.") From the top of my head I remember his fights where he had to rely on either the monarchs help, the help of the successors, or the help of other S ranks and A ranks (Miho in the Villain Arc, Ryo in the Pyramid and India arc), and even his dad's deus ex machina help to get through his fights.

But he doesn't see it as something bad, and the story doesn't pain it as bad. Suho wants to get strong, yes, but he doesn't distance himself when he needs help, and he doesn't become someone that leaves everyone behind after like two arcs. Granted some of the characters are only making appearances here and there, but they get fleshed out more as they appear.

Taking the case for Miho, who is almost the least explored, we do still see her in the arcs how her character evolves from someone who values her strength as is very observant, to someone who is upright and bossy, and slowly from then on we get to find out that she is someone like that because she has the same justice morals as her dad, and she is also the one who leads most of the paperwork while her dad is out there fighting for most of the battles. And she is just the least characterized. Then there is Zhigang, who suffered through the possession of the Itarims and thus becomes someone more bloodthirsty but wants to fight against that in order to protect others. We see Thomas confronted by his ineptitude and his emptiness of his power. We see Lim Dogyun and Taegyu having to reconcile with their past that separated them from the first place. We see Siddhart be swayed by his hero complex due to everything around him. They are characters in their own right (and they could be more explored. Yes. This also isn't the end, so I can't say whenever or not they will or to what extent)

The protagonist from Dungeon Reset also shows that train of though, often getting help from others, giving something in return. His actions make him a leader, whereas Suho's actions make him someone to be loved more, rather than lead.

And I mean loved more because he isn't usually in a leading leading position. He orders his shadows around and does rake on the lead in things a lot of the time, but in the case where he can't deal with something, he would let another take on the lead (I.e Haein in the Ice Elves Kingdom arc. Taegyu in the Villain arc. ) or he would have a small rag group of teammates (which, apart from the shadows, always changes depending on the arc) rather than a group that follows him here and there.

Not to mention the fact that the shadows speak more now, and there isn't as many as before with Jinwoo, so all of them get to extent their personalities as well, leading Suho to not be completely lonely for most of the time. Even the system in some way isn't just a blank screen, but rather Suho has Beru and Ammut, who act as a guide and a trainer, respectively.

Inadvertently, that leads to Suho's character of protection even more than before. He gets to admire his dad and his mom for what they have done and for how much more powerful they are than him. But it doesn't make him any less blind to the fact that, yeah, taking all the power for himself and having all the responsibilities as well, was a bad idea in the long run.

Father and Son

In regards to the cup, I think everyone would have made that decision. Turn back time and let people live happily ever after. That's all good. What sets the problem is the things that come after that.

And while the story mentions it, Suho also put in a new light of his own, that he wants his father to be recognized for his actions instead of taking it all alone for himself.

Now, does Jinwoo ever ask for a reward after saving the world? No. Does he need it? Absolutely. And that knowledge did always bug me as to why he would just try to keep himself from being known, try to gatekeep magic and monsters from the world. Why did he want it all to disappear and for himself to never be entirely understood. Because, again, just by going from Solo Leveling and its side stories, we never get to truly know if haein ever recovered all of her memories or if she was just told by Jinwoo what had happened before.

Then, the title slaps me in the face. Yeah, it's solo leveling. It's everything coinciding with lonelyness, Beru in Raganrok as well (and by extension, the other author) had emphasized at some point that he levels up alone, he lives alone, he slowly keeps driven to hide away everything that he is and everything that he has truly become— In the same way he hides away all the pain from being noticed by his sister, in the same way rhat he wanted to hide his profession of hunting from his mother, in the same way that he wanted to hide his awakening from everyone else, in the same way that he wanted to hide his trauma through more and more reckless fighting, in the same way he wanted to hide his potential lost of feelings as he is Leveling up, in the same way he NEVER brought up the fact that his father died right in front of him,— He closes himself because he thinks that if the people were to know of him, hate him? Worry for him? Fear him? Whatever he is expecting of others it scares him.

"But he actually just wants to live a normal life!" If he did, he would have given up his power to someone else, or he would have stopped himself from using his powers altogether. But he doesn't. He heals Haeins foot, he gives some mama to his friend so he can run faster, and he uses his shadows as well as other powers to do some criminal activities. He doesn't want a normal life. He just wants some escape. He is hypocritical with his own statement by already doing things that are out of the norm. "Oh, but she needed it, or they deserved it." Yeah, and he could also do that as well to others, heal sickness, hunt down other criminals out there in the world that pose a bigger threat to the living than anything, but he doesn't. Not to mention that the more mana he spreads, the more the enemies are going to notice him. And if he doesn't want to deal with that then he should have healed Haein with magic (maybe use something else that could have been nice) or hunt down criminals at all!

In the end, he had already come so dark to achieve all of his powers, and he can't just leave all of his responsibilities behind as much as he wants ro, so he has to come and accept it that he will never go back to the way it is.

And maybe he has already started to notice that? Or maybe he will get to notice that when he and Suho reunite again? Everything he knows bout earth is just recent, and he doesn't seem to be mad that Suho has decided to become a monarch of a different race instead of being the Shadow Monarch. And while I can't say much about Jinwoo's feelings right now or the state of his mind rhat he might be in right now, there are is a few hints out there that he could still feel as though it is always his duty to put every responsibility on him.

We see this in the reunion with Suho as an illusion. Suho sees his greatest fear, which is letting his own father down, unable to reach his maximum (or unable to reach the power he needs for Suho to help his father carry some of his burden). And he is worried as well that he IS Jinwoo's biggest weakness. To that, Jinwoo responded that it didn't matter and to use his full extent of his shadow powers either way. Once again, leaving Jinwoo to put on more responsibility on himself for the sake of others.

However, for the first time, and due mostly to the circumstances rather than himself, he has to expose that weakness even without being present. He has to learn to trust his own son, which he loves enough to do so, and finally, fucking finally get someone to help him out on earth. This man had it not been for son, who again, he does trust –because he knows him more than anyone else, it's his only child, it has the same powers as him, it's basically the only one who can relate to him: as a human and monarch. Suho also learns about his loneliness the more he hears of Jinwoo's story from Beru. He takes the risk of giving information about Jinwoo for the sake of not letting be alone anymore. That's his gift to his father, to let him acknowledge that no matter what, he won't stand alone anymore. Not as long as Suho is here and leveling up for him.

Ps: Incredibly funny of Suho to also be such a contrast to his dad that even Antares likes him. And it's not the 'Oh, he is just so nice that everyone can't stand his niceness cinnamon roll' Not it's the opposite. He will aggressively befriend you for your powers/skills/because yes. No questions asked.

Pss: Jinwoo will do anything for Suho, even change his lonely attitude of him it's making me sob. WHY DID IT TAKE YOU A SON FOR YOU TO FINALLY RELY ON SOMEONE THAT WASN'T DEAD 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. What's worse is the fact that it isn't an entire change of the original Jinwoo since in the last extras, he did want Suho to fight alongside him. Despite his C type parenting, he was doing all he could to love Suho as well.

But, you know, I wish we kinda got to see more of that father and son bond Daul *shaking Kakapage* Give us some flashbacks of them Daul! It's not that hard Daul!!!!! WHERES THEIR FISHING TRIP—

#happy valentines day #i got send to the hospital in the meantime bc yalls dumbass had never been vaccinated from very bad disseased like ever #how the fuck did i survive covid i have no earthly idea considering i could have just as easily died from freaking polio #anyways have reason 1283920 to read SLR #and totally not because im translating it no no no i dont self promote like that #solo leveling #solo leveling ragnarok #sung jinwoo #sung suho #sung su ho #cha hae in #solo leveling spoilers #solo leveling ragnarok spoilers #only i level up

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lukecastellanshandholder · 3 months

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Ok, I’ve been seeing a lot of opinions on the last episode and especially about the betrayal scene, so I just wanna share how I interpreted it. (And this is not me trying to be disrespectful of people’s opinions at all, I’m just sharing how I feel about the whole scene).

⚠️Obviously spoiler warning for episode 8⚠️

I really think that the changes made to this scene alone were perfect and actually builds upon what will happen in the books. Luke not immediately wanting to kill Percy makes much more sense considering that first and foremost, the entire base of Luke’s reason for wanting to dismantle Olympus, and take the gods out of power, is because he is tired of seeing demigods being treated poorly by their parents. He’s tired of seeing demigods dying left and right just because their parents are too selfish to think about anything other than what they want. He’s tired of the gods (to use the words of Medusa in ep.3) being bullies who believe that they can do no wrong, and who will punish even their own children when they feel threatened or they feel like their pride has been wounded.

Remember Hal? In The Diary of Luke? The first demigod that Luke had to see die because of the way his father punished him unfairly, simply for using his powers to save a friend? The first demigod of whom soon would be many that Luke is unable to save?

If Luke’s whole original meaning behind wanting to bring down the gods was to save demigods like himself, Hal and Thalia; then why would he automatically be trying to kill Percy? It makes much more sense that he originally just wanted to recruit Percy to his side! Besides, why kill Percy when he could potentially have the most powerful demigod alive (that anyone knows of) on his side? He would be absolutely stupid to not take that opportunity and Luke isn’t stupid, he’s actually pretty smart.

So yeah, I’m pretty ok with them leaving out the whole scorpion thing (no matter how much I liked it for joke purposes).

Then we have the fact that this Percy who obviously thinks and feels the same as Luke, still didn’t join Luke in the end.

Yes, Percy feels the same way about the gods. He still doesn’t care for them even after what Poseidon did. However, the main reason that Percy in the show doesn’t join Luke, even when he’s not actively trying to kill him, is because of his up bringing. Because of Sally. They make it a big point in episode 5 and 7 to point out that Sally had been keeping Percy from the world of the gods because she didn’t want them to make him into someone he’s not. She didn’t want to expose him to that world without him first knowing who he truly is and showing him unconditional love. How a family is really supposed to treat each other.

Then, we have Luke. Luke didn’t have any of that. He was only 9 months old before being thrust into the mythical world. All his life he had been exposed to the world of the gods. He never had a mother who was all the way there to show him how family is supposed to behave. He didn’t have any sort of strong pillar there for him. He didn’t have any chance to just take the time to find who he truly was without any influence from the gods. So, Luke fell into the trap of repeating history again.

Percy is able to see this. He’s able to see what Luke is talking about and he’s able to sympathize with him.

But, there is one main difference between them both. Luke knows exactly how the gods are. Having been exposed to their world for so long, he knows how things truly go and the lengths that they would have to go to for any real change to be made. Percy on the other hand, may have been taught a lot by Sally, but he is still naïve when it comes to the gods and how they really work.

Percy still thinks that change can be made without going to such lengths. He still has hope. He’s stubborn and willful to a fault. But most importantly, he’s still a young kid who has just began his journey and who unfortunately hasn’t even seen or felt a fraction of the horrors that this new world has to offer. He still feels like he can be this hero who saves everyone and make everything ok. He still thinks that he can save Luke.

However, as the prophecy says, "you will fail to save what matters most in the end". And if that thing that "matters most" is Luke, then he is technically the first person that Percy can not save. It is the start of Percy’s journey as a hero.

So, yes. Percy still deciding not to join Luke makes sense. Besides, Percy now has Sally back and he has his friends. He still has so much to lose and he knows that he would lose them if he joined Luke. With Percy’s fatal flaw being loyalty, even if it meant that the world would be 100 times better, he would still choose the people he cares about over anything. This is something that we see become more apparent about Percy as the series goes on so it’s cool to see that already being a factor more early on in the story.

And lastly, we have the inclusion of Annabeth being there to hear everything.

I personally don’t know why people are saying that it throws off how she’s supposed to feel about Luke as we go further into the story?

I mean, in the book Annabeth hears about what happened from Percy. When she first hears about it she’s in shock obviously, but when she takes a minute to think about it and get over that initial shock, she still believes Percy. After their first quest, Annabeth has grown to trust Percy so there’s no reason why she would doubt what he says. Yet, throughout the series she still knows deep down that there is a legitimate reason why Luke is doing what he’s doing. She also knows that most of this is caused by Kronos and that Luke is just being used as a puppet.

So, just because she heard everything that was said, doesn’t mean that she can’t still have the same kind of feelings. It doesn’t mean that she can’t feel sympathy for the person who she looked at as a big brother. It doesn’t mean that she can’t understand Luke and what he’s doing. I’d even argue that her hearing what he said would cause her to understand even more. And since they removed the whole thing about Annabeth having a crush on Luke, I feel like her being able to understand what’s truly going on is even more important since we won’t have her blindly following him because of her crush on him.

So my overall verdict? I personally feel that every change made in this specific scene actually makes more sense and flows into what will happen throughout the rest of the story even more.

#now I’m not saying that I liked every change in the series #I have changes that I really didn’t like #but as far as this scene?#it was perfect in my personal opinion #but this is just my opinion and this is not me trying to say that anyone’s thoughts and opinions are wrong!#I just wanted to share what I thought of it 💜#luke castellan #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson tv show #pjo

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variousqueerthings · 8 months

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I note that I don't, and I never, was much of a fan of doctor-and-rose as romance, but that I -- rather than get annoyed at the romantic-coded scenes -- had a tendency to simply read them from a totally different perspective, and really maybe should have been a sign of sooomething different about me, that I continuously felt that the doctor's concepts of connection must be so alien, that to call it romance would be to diminish the actual Thing that they had, which was presented as such onscreen (to my mind then, now I realise what was happening, but I prefer what I had going on), which is basically that the doctor was a shell of a person, hurtling towards destruction (he would have died without rose in ep1), desperately lonely and sad and traumatised, and she retaught nine -- and by extension ten -- how to love the universe, at the same time as nine and ten taught her the same. (I think about the scene in father's day, where while they're arguing, rose says that she knows how sad he is, and he'll just hang around the tardis waiting for her -- she knew!)

and then on top of that with sarah-jane (which, I never watched the classics as a kid, so I didn't have that context for her beyond what the episode presented) it felt like that was sort of confirmed and made even more canon through this idea that the doctor is constantly mourning the inevitable deaths of their companions and would rather simply leave them behind at some point than watch that happen (and they've seen that happen before, although dying for a cause versus just... dying, because you die, while they don't, they just continue on and on, always seeking connection, always knowing that time will take them away, that's a whole other thing)

and then of course there's ten's... I would call it "sex appeal" because it's david tennant and with his performance there's immediately a bit of a focus on oh he's quite pretty and he faints/is knocked unconscious in both of his first episodes, and a lot more flirting, and the people want to see sparks or what have you... but the doctor as portrayed and written is still... not coming at it that way. yes yes girl in the fireplace but also, once again, doesn't work for me, because I find it soooo much more interesting that the doctor would imprint on A Life - and a life that they admire -- and speedrun the exact thing that they're most afraid of with their companions... that she ages and dies and it's the one thing that the doctor simply cannot stop

meanwhile rose is quite young and swept up in this whole massive adventure and very much reads the doctor not as an alien (frequently surprised by their alien-ness) and gets jealous of sarah-jane as if she's an ex, and renette as if she's... a replacement? but really it's more that the doctor met her at the point when she was about to accept her life as it was. not an exciting life, not a bad life, but always having to ignore the idea that there must be more to it than this. and the idea that she might be unceremoniously dumped back in that after seeing just how This the this could be, of course that's terrifying. and of course she's simultaneously taken with the dashing doctor and the jetset life, and worried she could be replaced, because to her the doctor saved her at 19 years old. in some ways the doctor created her (considering who she becomes after dooms day)

contrasted to martha who initially has a similar kind of experience, but the doctor doesn't meet her at the space she's in with them -- ten is leaning on her, like they did with rose, but not giving anything back unless kicking and screaming and traumatising her whole family. martha's trajectory is so so tragic, because she barely gets a taste of the splendor versus the horrors and the latter marks her for life. but she also knows to walk away from those overwhelming feelings, rather than give into them, she knows they'll never be rewarded and she also grows beyond wanting to be a crutch for the doctor (the fact that she then ends up as a soldier, well... ouch)

and then of course donna, who never has those fucking awe-feelings to begin with and whose connection with the doctor is explicitly de-romanticised but never placed on a lesser pedestal as if there's a hierarchy of alloromanticism. topples those pillars, never sees the doctor as anything but what the doctor is. good old donna. (sobs.) (but also... cautious hope for the specials.) (but also sobs.)

my point being. just don't buy alloromantic doctor, they're a near-immortal alien. it's such a dull simplistic way of reading their relationships to other beings. other point being. all those women who were making heart-eyes at ten, wish they'd met thirteen and had a... "yeah, this still works for me," moment. their horizons, too, are broadened by seeing More. (that or they realise they were never actually "in love" but just thought ten was a sexy skinny little snack and it blinded them.) (although jodie whittaker, too, is a snack.)

and lastly lastly ofc, is that if the doctor has a longterm (by doctor time measurement) intense relationship with anyone, whatever that might be called, it's the tardis. and that relationship is also so alien it cannot be quantified by human words for concepts

#im rewatching doctor who #doctor who #dw #aroace doctor #look im rewatching into 13 and beyond i am willing to entertain yaz and 13 because we enjoy a good bit of lesbianism #however will wait and see because the doctor in my head is so so aroace in every incarnation #they just manifest it in different ways #i could go into the whole eleven-and-river and how i feel about that #i am perhaps in the minority in that river's arc just doesn't work for me and often neither does her character #i kind of want to listen to the audio adventures because ive heard she's got much more to do there #than be a flirty enigma/sexy lady/moffat fantasy #but i can say that one of my least favourite things about moffat's run was how 'sexy' he tried to make everything #by literally just having people use the word sexy all the time and talk about bad girls and what have you #it's like sexiness as written by a straight teenage boy #and not a supposedly grown man writing for grown people #other minority opinion perhaps but eleven just isn't my cup of tea #am interested in how i'll feel going back into that run #dont like matt smith much dont like moffat much and dont like what they envisioned for the doctor and how they directed/acted the doctor #feel like capaldi had to claw the character back into some semblance of thematic coherency #i was never too much into especially ten getting a bit high and mighty with lonely god and the like titles BUT #waters of mars places that in a very particular context that makes it so so gooood #(another post for another day about companion opinions)

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fritextramole · 2 months

Text

my blood runs red

part 4 of a Dan Humphrey playlist - best heard in order

tracklist and quotes under the cut

Einstein Brain ~ Admiral Freebee

She gave me a six month sentence For not being charming towards her friends With two hands you eat One hand to greet Everything she said Sounded like a repeat

Mistakes Like This ~ Prelow

I wanna know all the dreams that you keep beneath I want the words that you whisper when I'm asleep Wanna give back the things that I plan to take And I hope that you won't care But all your makeup's running

Black Magic Woman ~ Fleetwood Mac

Got your spell on me, baby You got your spell on me, baby Yes, you got your spell on me, baby Turning my heart into stone I need you so bad, magic woman I can't leave you alone

Human ~ dodie, Tom Walker

Unzip your skin and let me have a see Paint me in trust I'll be your best friend Call me the one This night just can't end

Like or Like Like ~ Miniature Tigers

I looked like a goon, I was dressed for winter Even though it was the middle of June

There's No Way ~ Lauv, Julia Michaels

I wish I could make the time stop So we could forget everything and everyone I wish that the time would line up So we could just give in to what we want

Tired of Being Alone ~ Al Green

Honey, please love me if you will

More Than A Woman ~ Bee Gees

You got me working day and night Just tryin' to keep a hold on you Here in your arms I found my paradise My only chance for happiness And if I lose you now, I think I would die

Baby I'm Yours ~ Arctic Monkeys

I'm gonna stay right here by your side And do my best to keep you satisfied Nothing in the world could drive me away

Love to Keep Me Warm ~ Laufey, dodie

I love the winter weather So the two of us can get together There's nothing sweeter, finer When it's nice and cold I can hold my baby closer to me

The Book of Love ~ The Magnetic Fields

The book of love has music in it In fact that's where music comes from Some of it's just transcendental Some of it's just really dumb But I I love it when you sing to me And you You can sing me anything

Autumn Sweater ~ Yo Lo Tengo

We could slip away Wouldn't that be better Me with nothing to say And you in your autumn sweater

At Your Door ~ Alexi Murdoch

Well, you can take from me all you think you need And you can bury it deep, deep in the ground But I will never let you down

Love Of My Life ~ Queen

When I grow older, I will be there at your side To remind you how I still love you Back, hurry back, please bring it back home to me Because you don't know what it means to me Love of my life

Mostly Dead ~ Joseph Dubay

I can't comprehend this bed I'm in Without you by my side I get so afraid that all I'll ever do Is haunt you God, it makes me weak to think How bad I fucking want you

Shut Up Kiss Me ~ Angel Olsen

I could take it down to the floor You don't have to feel it anymore A love so real that it can't be ignored

This Must Be The Place ~ Talking Heads

You got a face with a view I'm just an animal looking for a home Share the same space for a minute or two And you love me till my heart stops Love me till I'm dead

New Song ~ Maggie Rogers, Del Water Gap

I'm young but I feel like an old man The tar in my lungs and these cold hands They held onto you

Shimmer ~ Fuel

She dreams a champagne dream Strawberry surprise Pink linen on white paper Lavender and cream Fields of butterflies Reality escapes her She says that love Is for fools that fall behind And I'm somewhere between I never really know A killer from a savior

zombie girl ~ Adrianne Lenker

Sleep paralysis, I sworn I could've felt you there And I almost could've kissed your hair

Losing My Religion ~ R.E.M.

Every whisper, of every waking hour I'm choosing my confessions Trying to keep an eye on you Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool, fool Oh no I've said too much

midnight love ~ girl in red

Say I'm not your consolation prize I can't be your second best

Impossible ~ MOTHXR

All the lies I tell myself There's so much in your blood I'm here to help you let it out I'll cut you up all night baby girl if I'm allowed I'll use the same weaponry that you used on me

Cherry Wine ~ Hozier

Calls of guilty thrown at me All while she stains The sheets of some other

Love is All ~ the Tallest Man On Earth

The future was our skin and now we don't dream anymore

Wounded Heart ~ Matt Berry

You tore through me Like fire at a grand prix And I knew you'd won

#gg #ggplaylists #dan humphrey #gossip girl #source: senamarais

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sonofthetrigod · 1 year

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“This world was created to end.” Ruby has been taught that since her earliest days. Mom and her Grimm were meant to have destroyed this world long ago, and it’s only through the efforts of foolish Hunters that it continues. Oh, it’s not that the Hunters are evil. Mom always told her that good and evil don’t exist. There’s just those dedicated to keeping the world turning long after it was meant to stop, and those dedicated to letting the world end as it was supposed to. The foolish Hunters consider the Grimm evil, but that’s just silly.

So Mom had tasked her with infiltrating Beacon Academy and seizing the relics within. Ruby had been excited. She’d help Mom end the world, just as the Brothers had decreed so long ago. Mom had insisted she couldn’t tell anyone about her mission, but Ruby was sure there was a chance to meet someone who’d be receptive to doing the Brothers’ bidding. It was a holy crusade, after all.

She literally runs into her first friend before Initiation. After they’d crashed into each other and stumbled to the ground, he’d offered her a hand up. “Sorry about that,” he said shyly as he pulled her to her feet. “I really need to pay more attention to where I’m going.”

“No big deal,” Ruby had said, equally shy. It really wasn’t a big deal. When the world ended, such petty concerns as being knocked over would be as naught. Still, he was being so friendly. So much more than Mom’s devotees ever were that Ruby smiled at him. He smiled back, and something danced in Ruby’s chest.

The boy introduced himself as Oscar Pine, and she introduced herself as simply Ruby. Mom had never used a last name, and Ruby had never been given one, so “Ruby” was all she had.

They became fast friends, despite ending up on different teams. She managed to befriend a few other people, too. A fiery young woman with blonde hair, who felt familiar in a way Ruby couldn’t explain, named Yang Xiao Long. An awkward young man named Jaune Arc. Being with them was so bright after a literal lifetime of darkness. As her mission to claim the relic continued over the months Ruby, for the first time in her life, wondered if destroying the world was really necessary when there were kind people like her friends in it. Oh, she understands that the destruction isn’t punishment, merely a necessary part of the cycle, but Ruby is just now realizing Mom never really explained the cycle. Or why the Brothers’ want to destroy the world beyond, “So they said, and so it must be.”

But Mom hadn’t told her that Grimm actually killed people. Mom had never told her about loved ones left behind by those deaths. And, slowly but surely, Ruby starts to question things. Oh, she still reports the movements of Ozma and his inner circle as best she can. Mom needs that information, after all. But... why do they have to die if they’re serving the Brothers’ so faithfully. Why do her friends have to die? Ruby doesn’t understand.

Beacon’s dance comes and Oscar, gently nudged forward by Jaune and Yang, asks if she’d go with him as a date. Ruby... doesn’t know what a date is, but something in the way he asks brings the dancing things back into her stomach. So, she says yes. The dancing things dance harder and Oscar beams at her so she assumes she’s making the right choice.

She talks to Yang about the dancing things afterwards, and Yang gives her a toothy grin. “You’re in love with Oscar,” the blonde tells her. “Don’t worry about it, he feels the same way. You’ll see.”

I... I’m in love with Oscar? Ruby thinks, surprised. But more importantly. Oscar is in love with me? She’s surprised by the idea. But she’s more surprised by how much she likes the idea, or the fact it turns the things dancing in her stomach to a full on dance routine.

And so it came the day of the dance, when Ruby was supposed to further her mother’s plan. But... she didn’t. She couldn’t bring herself to leave Oscar’s side. If this was what being in love felt like, then... How could she ever give this up? Mom had insisted there was no such things as good and evil, but now... This felt good. This felt right. Dancing with Oscar and being around him. Loving him, and apparently being loved right back. How could destroying this be right? Even if the Gods’ wished it so. It just... didn’t make sense.

And in that moment, Ruby decided. She’d never give this up. Not for her mother, not for the Brothers’.

#rwby rosegarden #rwby #rosegarden #ruby rose #oscar pine #yang xiao long #rwby salem #au #salem raises ruby au

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violetarks · 2 years

Text

"stay with me!"

track 25: red spider-lillies

Ding ding!

The doorbell rings, sounding like alarms in all of their heads. Y/N slides her phone back into her pocket, ignoring the feeling of confusion sitting in her chest. But she feels as if it's been too long, a few years had passed since she last seen his family.

The Bodt household has always held this sort of warmth that she favoured, but on this day she thinks that she's too nervous. She's standing at the very front, her friends and manager behind the rest of them. The anxiousness wells up in her body, making her hold the flowers tightly in her hands.

"Y/N, you're sweating a lot."

"Shut up, Jean."

He laughs in response to her, "It looks like you're courting him, man."

"Your fly has been undone since we left the hotel." Y/N grumbles back, sending a look of annoyance to her friends beside her. Jean rolls his eyes at her joke, looking around and insecurely checking his pants. He curses himself out in his head for the fact that she was correct. "Moron."

"Loser." Jean scoffs back.

"Hey, act proper, you idiots." Levi calls with his arms crossed. He glares at those he were supervising, "You're still on the clock, we have to go back to the hotel by dinner. So no fucking around."

"Yes sir." Eren grumbles out, placing a hand on his hip as he smiles to Mikasa. She grins back. "I hope Marco doesn't mind us dropping in like this."

She responds, tilting her head, "It's a shame that he wasn't able to make it to the show last night."

"I'm sure he's fine, maybe just a bit busy. Or he forgot." Armin suggests with a shrug of his shoulders. He brushes the back of his head, playing with the strands of his hair. "It's been years since we have even spoken to the guy."

"Do you think he'll remember us?" Jean questions, hands in his pocket. They felt stuffy, sweaty. And it was a pretty nice day, just a bit windy.

"It'll be pretty hard not to." Eren jokes, staring down at his shoes. He had wondered the same. Even though it was Y/N and Jean who had been close to Marco all this time.

Everyone wondered if they had changed way too much since high school. Maybe the reason he hadn't shown up was because he had despised who they were now. It wasn't like Marco to just leave without any good reason. And it had to be a good reason.

The door opens slowly, and the whole group suddenly stands straight. Y/N nearly drops the flowers, but collects herself in time to come face to face with familiar figures. Jean holds his hands behind his back as the other three try to look presentable. Levi deadpans at the group, they reminded him of some kids he were to babysit.

"Hello?" An older woman calls, opening the door all the way. She locks eyes with Y/N and Jean first, a bit of confusion painting her face. "Is something wrong?"

The words die on their lips. It was all too much of a surprise at first, how they used to hear Marco speak about his parents. The first and only year of university he had attended, he would talk about how much he missed his home town and his family. While he didn't end up finishing his course, he paid back the debts easily with what money he had saved and gained from his parents. Marco was always alright.

"Sorry to intrude, but we were just stopping by and..." Jean starts, stopping himself short. He takes a deep breath. "We're friends of Marco's, and we haven't met with him in a while, so we were wondering if we were able to see him."

The woman, who Y/N could only suspect was Marco' mother, blinks at them, clueless. She wonders if they've suddenly made the parent uncomfortable.

"Honey, who is at the door?" A man questions, coming into view at the doorframe. He stops when he notices the group of young adults standing at his front entrance. "Well, hello. How can we help you?"

"Sweetie..." The mother hums, holding her husbands hand, "They want to see Marco."

His eyes noticeably darken a bit. But he turns to the band, small grin as his eyes set on the flowers in Y/N's hands. "Ah, I see. Uh, please come inside." He invited them into the house, each guest wiping their shoes on the mat at on the porch before entering. The parents lead them further into the rooms, photos of Marco and the two of them, even a pet, hanging on the walls. "So how did you all know Marco?"

"We were friends in high school and university." Jean explains, walking into the kitchen with the rest of them, "Marco is the one who introduced me and Y/N to Eren, Mikasa and Armin. He's always so nice to everyone."

Y/N chuckles out, hugging the bouquet to her chest, "Marco once got the highest score in the whole class, so we invited him over to our apartment that Jean and I had at the time, and we all threw a party for him. He was so happy and he cried when we gave him a cake."

Armin speaks up from the back, standing with Levi at the end of the crowd, "We were in town, and just had a concert yesterday actually. We wished Marco could've been there to see us perform."

"You're all artists?" Mrs Bodt asks, glancing over her shoulder to them.

Eren nods his head. "Yeah. Mikasa is our singer, Armin and I play electric guitars, Y/N is the bassist and Jean plays drums." He explains, jutting a thumb behind him after that, "And the sulky man over there is Levi, he's our manager."

He lets out a small yelp when Levi kicks the back of his knees.

They end up in the living room, no TV or sound system present. It was very different from how they lived their own lives, now with being famous musicians and all. In their houses, they would have at least a few instruments on each room, records and awards filling up shelves. Fan letters and gifts (searched by security and Levi extensively) held their places in spare rooms so that they could feel better when down.

It reminded them of how they lived before the fame. With their parents in their own rooms, having been told to keep it down or they would wake the neighbours. Or with friends, living off cup noodles and packaged foods, staying up late to write crappy songs. It was so different now.

They sit at the table, chairs tucked in evenly. Levi continues to stand in the corner of the room, giving his band their privacy. Marco's mother stays at the wide entrance. "I will put on some tea and coffee for us." She states, leaving the room with a kind smile.

"Are you all ready to see Marco?" His father asks cautiously, standing up.

They nod their heads, Y/N setting the flowers on the table. The red looks gentle and fluid against the cream cloth of the cover. She watches as Mr Bodt then walks over to the black cupboard to the side of the room, kept neat and tidy. At first, she thinks that he's just getting tea cups and mugs for the drinks.

But then he opens it to reveal the unlit candles and incense, and the best picture of Marco from the year that he had passed away.

track 24 | song list | track 26

anime: attack on titan

character: porco galliard (band! au)

summary: y/n, the bassist of the band ‘paradís’, finds herself in middle of a 'publicity stunt’ with none other than a rival band’s drummer. porco, the mentioned member of 'marley’, doesn’t care about her at all. but they can only ignore each other for so long.

status: ongoing

taglist: @makimakimi @hanmascult @ally22042000 @rozewayne2005 @keithandlevi-ontheroof @qaahnaarin @queen-flower @id-rather-be-an-outsider @onlylowercase @tonysttank @a-little-pebbl @hannahalanib1 @moonshineandclearskies

#porco galliard #porco galliard x reader #porco galliard smau #porco #porco x reader #porco smau #galliard #galliard x reader #galliard smau #attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan smau #aot #aot x reader #aot smau

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lumiereandcogsworth · 2 months

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heyyyyyyy hey wait I forgot I follow up on this, you mentioned there was tea regarding Adam’s dad and his first wife 👁️ is that something you’re willing to share bc I am all ears

ahhhh yes yes yes. my LORE!!!!!!! i am absolutely happy to spill that tea. i did indeed mention here that adam is the product of his father’s second wife, not his first. so let me divulge all the stuff that went down before adam came around!!

so, first, some backstory on louis, adam’s father. he was his father, king antoine’s, firstborn. four years later, he has a brother named adrien. adrien dies of illness around age five, and young louis is devastated, but his father is tough and hard and tells his son to buck up! crying is for the ladies. a few years later, louis’s mother, anne michelle, also dies. louis doesn’t cope well with this at all, but he’s so scared of his abusive father that he hides his feelings once again. soon, king antoine remarries. he and his new wife have a daughter, and they name her genevieve after her mother. they entirely dote on genevieve, completely neglecting louis, leaving him to his own devices. he becomes miserable and cruel, and an entirely reckless young man.

when prince louis is 24, king antoine has a health scare that causes him concern. he fears he may not live much longer, and he sees that his son is in no place to take the throne, should he die. so, he arranges for his reckless son to marry an upstanding young lady, to ensure that louis could become king at the moment of antoine’s passing. louis is less than thrilled about his bride, but when they meet on their wedding day, there is actually a spark between them. her name is agnès claudine marie. she was chosen because their marriage would be politically advantageous, as well as look very perfect to the public eye. louis was all ready to loathe this new wife of his. but he just… didn’t.

agnès was firey and stood her ground. she challenged him constantly and louis was pretty shocked by it. (but also… turned on by it as well.) louis was still a very shitty person, like, agnès did Not make him a better man. but they sort of got along in their own twisted way. they appeared a perfect, prim and proper couple to the public eye, but behind closed doors they were very just… toxic and messy. and what made matters worse was that king antoine died shortly after they were married, so louis had to grapple with his father’s death (sprouting the classic, complicated grief that comes along with losing an abusive father), and handle being king, all while never being mentally or emotionally prepared for it, nor having anyone to lean on in the process. it’s ROUGH.

louis had such a quick temper and was insanely jealous. he got pissed at agnès for even so much as talking to another man at a party, even if he was right there by her side. after the parties would end, he’d throw things and break things and scream at her and she’d scream right back, bullying him just as much as he berated her. these arguments almost always ended in ridiculously hot sex. which is funny and i don’t know why i feel the need to mention it but. as a fake historian it’s my duty to share all fake facts. anyway.

eventually, louis and agnès had a daughter. they named her claudine. louis doesn’t feel MUCH about this, as he very much needs a son to be his heir, but he does care enough about agnès to not completely despise his daughter. he’s a pretty indifferent father at this point. although i’m sure he always made claudine feel fairly useless, just for being a girl.

about six years later, agnès became pregnant with their second child. tragedy struck, however, when she died in childbirth. she delivered a boy, but he did not live longer than a day.

THIS is really the turning point where louis goes from bad to the absolute worst. it’s all buried and complicated inside him but he’s truly devastated by agnès’s death. she was always so alive with passion he just never expected to lose her. and the fact that he loses their son, HIS SON, within a day, it just breaks him for good. he goes from awful to downright ruthless. he grows more wicked toward his daughter, seeing too much of her mother in her and blaming her for it. blaming her too, for not being his much-needed male heir. he also becomes a terror in his court, and in general just a horrible person to be around.

unfortunately at this point, the psychological damage that has been done to him just really causes him to spiral out of control. he’s blinded by unprocessed grief and unfounded rage. and the people are in an uproar! who will be their heir! where is the dauphin of france!! all this just makes him desperate to find another wife to give him a male heir. it’s all he cares about now. so, less than a year later, louis found someone. it was similar to prologue adam’s parties where the villages and towns were taxed to send all their maidens. and renée elizabeth aubert was the only daughter of five children. her parents OF COURSE wanted to give her the opportunity to marry THE KING!

and… it worked. louis saw her and found her to be beautiful. (oh, shall i mention here that he’s 30 and she’s 17?) renée wasn’t as tenacious as agnès but she was gorgeous and held her head high. she intrigued him. (and her mentioning that she had four brothers was definitely a factor for louis.) so, he courted her and married her swiftly.

renée settled into her new life as queen. louis distracted and enticed her with the finest clothes and jewelry, making her feel so very adored. she tried to get along with her step-daughter, claudine, who was around 7 years old at this point, but poor princess claudine was so traumatized from losing her mother and from louis’s abuse, so she didn’t really want to connect much with renée. so, claudine spend the vast majority of her time with her governess, who was basically raising her fully at that point.

soon, renée became pregnant, and successfully delivered a boy! huzzah!! adam is here!!

for a few years, things carry on. louis grows more twisted and disinterested in his wife and children. he hardly sees claudine, and he’s disappointed in adam thus far. (adam didn’t start speaking or walking until he was like 2-3, so louis was convinced he was just “stupid” and they all got worried he was possibly deaf. but renée knew her boy wasn’t deaf or stupid, because she actually spent time with him and could see that his mind just worked differently. and he always looked up at her when she called his name.) regardless, louis was also getting increasingly frustrated with renée, because she kept miscarrying pregnancies. (i think giving birth to adam very nearly killed her, and left damage that just made carrying any future pregnancy to full term impossible.) so, louis was now stuck with a useless daughter and a worthless son and a dysfunctional wife. and he made sure they all knew it! he continued to drink and be abusive. claudine sort of gets out of it, eventually going to live in paris for private tutoring and finishing school.

but! claudine would still come home for christmas, and other events. well, approaching one christmas, louis and renée had been away on a trip for diplomatic reasons. on the trip, renée had caught some sort of illness. when they returned, they kept adam away from her (for fear that the heir would catch it) but unfortunately, princess claudine was there, and caught the illness. renée recovered in a couple of weeks. the princess, however, died. she was 12 years old.

adam was 4, and doesn’t really have any memories of his sister claudine. especially since they didn’t really grow up under the same roof. but anyway, louis is just angered by yet ANOTHER death in this godforsaken family of his. and he, despite caring very little for claudine, IS saddened because she WAS his last piece of agnès. he decided to blame renée, since she’s the one who brought the illness home.

well. time carries on. some years later, when adam is nine and a half, he loses his mother, queen renée, to illness as well. he’s left alone with his father, and you know how the story goes…

anyway my take is that the de beaumont family is quite literally cursed by death and for generations they’re just plagued to lose people but Just Enough survive to maintain the family line. and adam, breaking his own separate curse by the enchantress, does then, in turn, break the beaumont family death curse as well. because true love conquers ALL. thank you 💙

#MWAHAHAH!! MY LORE!!!!!! >:D #also i am posting this on march 21st which IS the day that i’ve marked as renée’s passing 🥺 so pour one out for her!!#anyway thank you for asking #i feel like i could say so many more things. the nitty gritty details #but this is a solid overview of this disastrous family #doesn’t it just make the adam & belle stories so much more beautiful?? knowing all the AWFULNESS that happened there before???#it makes me insane. personally.#but wow !! thank you !! that was fun to write. i had so many tabs of all my notes open in front of me lmao #i love being a fake historian who is an expert on all these fake facts 😌#adam #queen renée #king louis #batb headcanons #batb 2017

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queen-of-deans-booty · 9 months

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Dog Dean Afternoon: Final Part

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.2k

Warnings: canon angst and violence

Summary: Something was taken from you, something so precious a mother should never have to lose. Then, you found something you’ve been searching for ever since your little angel was taken from you. Is this a new beginning or a fire waiting to burn?

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated.

There is a chef inside the kitchen grinding ingredients into a bowl. Dean is quick to put his gun away to not scare the young man.

"Who the hell are you two?" the chef asks once he spots you.

"We're from the health department. We stopped by for an inspection," you're quick to think on your toes.

"I wasn't aware we had one scheduled."

"You wouldn't be. That's the point. Besides, I thought you were closed."

"We are. Chef's having a private dinner." A waiter walks into the kitchen carrying a plate of food. "In fact, he'll be here any minute."

"Okay, in that case, the kitchen is shut down."

"Shut down? Why?"

"Because you're both in clear violation of penal code 8.14," you make something up.

"Out. Come on. Get out. Both of you. We'll let you know," Dean says, his patience wearing thin.

The chef and the waiter roll their eyes but leave the kitchen. Once they are out, Dean turns to you.

"I'll take the front. You take the back."

"Do we even know how to kill this guy?" you whisper.

"Well, I'll empty one of these in his head. See what that does. You do what you do best."

You kiss Dean quickly and leave with Noah by your side. He is much safer with you, a witch, than with Dean. You're walking towards the back of the restaurant when you hear something behind you. You quickly turn just to see claws rush at you. The person slashes your throat, and you gasp and stagger back. You can clearly see the man now. It's the chef in the photo: Chef Leo.

"Go get Dean," you gasp.

"But--"

"Now, Noah!"

Noah jumps and runs away from you in search of your husband. You gurgle up some blood, but your magic works overtime to heal you. Your eyes shine bright blue just as your wound does. Soon, the wound is healed, and you're no longer struggling to breathe. You stand up and glare at Leo, but he is amazed at your powers.

"How the hell did you do that? Who the hell are you?"

"I'm the one who's going to knock you on your ass."

You take one step toward him, but the room starts to spin. Whatever was on his claws is causing the room to spin out of control.

"Oh, screw the sharktopus. You're my main course," Leo smirks.

When you come to, you notice you're bound to a metal table with your shirt cut open. You take in your surroundings and notice Dean is tied to a pillar inside the kitchen. Where is Noah? You're about to rain hell down on this man for hurting your kid, but then you see Noah poke his head in from his hiding place. He wants to run to you, but you shake your head. He stays where he is, thankfully, and you look for a way out of this.

"What did you do to my wife?" Dean asks when he comes to.

"Your wife? She's fine. She's just taking a little cat nap before dinner. I've never had a human heart before. Heard it's a bit chewy. Good thing I'm not a fussy eater."

"You're sick."

"I've been told that once or twice."

"No, not in the head. Well, yes, but you're sick like cancer."

Dogs can sniff out cancer. Dean knows this man has cancer, which is why he's eating animal parts. He doesn't want to die.

"Well, I guess dogs really can sniff it out. Stage IV carcinoma. See, when I was diagnosed, I was way past standard treatment. No one could save me, but then with the help of a Pawnee shaman and a zoo membership, I found a cure, albeit a temporary one. The cancer always came back."

Dean looks behind Leo to see you staring at him, but he doesn't acknowledge you're awake.

"So, you start experimenting with different organs, huh? You traded in the single serving for a combo platter."

"Well, what can I say? Combination therapy works. I felt stronger and the effects lasted longer. I didn't mean to kill anyone... at first. If people got in my way, they became collateral damage. I guess if you eat enough predators, you start to become one. You are what you eat, right?" he laughs.

"Do you really think the power you hold over other people's lives can make up for what you lack in your own?"

"So, dog boy, what do I need to eat to take you down, huh?" Leo walks over to a chest with a bunch of different animal organs in it. He takes one out labeled "Possum Intestines". "See, I'm gonna kill you, work up a nice appetite, and then I'm gonna eat your wife. I mean, I don't know what the hell she is, but with healing powers like that, who cares? She could cure me."

Leo takes out another container labeled "Wolf Heart" and he grins.

"Dog on sort of dog," he chuckles.

He holds out the heart and begins chanting the spell, but you break free from your restraints. Leo turns when he hears the noise and glares at you. He doesn't stand a chance against you. Before he hurts your husband and Noah, you take action. Your eyes shine bright blue, and with a single thought, so does his.

Cool. You can control the minds of others.

"Keep your paws off my husband. Come here."

The man has no choice but to listen to you. When he gets toe-to-toe with you, you shove him down to his knees.

"Beg for your life."

"Please. I don't want to die," he begs. "I'm begging you. Don't kill me."

"You should have thought of that when you started this whole mess."

You lay one hand on his forehead, and much like Castiel, you smite him with your magic. Blue light pours from his eyes and mouth, and soon, he is dead. You let him drop to the ground like dead meat, and you rush over to Dean to help him out of his restraints. Noah comes out of his hiding place and runs into your arms.

"I promised to keep you safe," you whisper to him.

With the threat now eliminated, you're free to return back to the Bunker. Colonel and Zeus are waiting in the car patiently while Sam is talking to Joanna. He is dead tired, but he wasn't going to sleep with young kids in the car.

"How do you feel about Colonel?" you ask Dean.

"He's a good dog."

"He doesn't have a home. We have a big one."

Dean can hear the question in your tone, and this time, he doesn't hesitate to smile.

"Hell yes."

Dean bounces over to Colonel to tell him he's coming home with you guys, but with the way Dean's face falls, you know the spell has ended. You turn to face Noah and bend down so you're on his level.

"Listen, Noah, if you want to stay with us, you have to know something. Monsters exist like the man who killed your parents, and there are many more out there--different ones and more dangerous ones. There are demons and witches and vampires and other scary things. I'm not telling you this to scare you, I'm telling you this to prepare you.

"However, you're safe here with me. I will do everything in my power to protect you as I do with my own children. Though, if you want to go into foster care, then I'll take you. If not, I will love you, protect you, and give you a home."

"I want to stay with you."

"I'm not going anywhere," you smile.

You might not be his biological mom, but you're sure as hell going to act like one.

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fiction #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #supernatural fiction #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fan fiction #supernatural fan fic #supernatural angst #spn fic #spn fan fic #spn fanfiction #series rewrite #supernatural series rewrite #spn seaosn 9

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tuiyla · 2 years

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Ranking Santana’s solos based on importance to her character, part II

Part one with the bottom seven and the introduction to this whole ranking can be found here, go give that a read before continuing with this one. Done? Okay, so this part two of this different type of ranking and we’ve reached the top 7 Santana solos in terms of how important they are to her character.

7. Cold Hearted

We’re continuing almost right where we left off, since the last song on part one’s list also had to do with Santana’s New York storyline and her complicated relationship with her roommates, particularly Rachel. Enter Cold Hearted, a Santana solo that serves many a purpose, among them showing off and intimidating a guy she doesn’t trust in the slightest. But if we dig a little deeper than her elaborate use of what I can only describe as scaffolding, and even a little deeper than being dramatic for drama’s sake, Cold Hearted is about how Santana is as a friend.

I’ve long argued that Santana’s New York storyline rests entirely on two pillars: her career and questioning of, which is in part represented by her version of DROMP, as discussed previously. And the other one, her friendships and her journey of expanding this inner circle that previously only included Brittany and maaaybe Quinn. The unlikely Kurtcheltana trio is very new when Santana performs this song in 4x16 Feud but that makes Cold Hearted all the more important. You see, despite Santana singing this to Brody in a literal sense, symbolically it’s only about him and addressed to Rachel instead. The lyrics are meant for Rachel even if she only finds out retroactively that Santana even sang this song and doesn’t exactly appreciate it. And I think that’s crucial to Cold Hearted making it to the top 7 because it becomes a representation of who Santana is as a friend at this point in season 4 and how she’ll approach her relationship with Hummelberry.

Even the fact that Santana goes behind her roommates’ back here to confront Brody at their school is on brand for her and further establishes the whole Cold Hearted performance as a quintessentially Santana thing to do. She’s a little misguided in her attempt to intimidate Brody into leaving, yes. She’s misguided in a lot of her early attempts at proving herself to her roommates. And yes, she didn’t need to be this extra, but that’s who Santana is and that’s another aspect which elevates Cold Hearted to this spot. The most crucial point? That it represents how Santana, at the end of the day, is a hardcore friend with questionable methods but wholehearted belief in protecting her friends and confronting sus people like Brody. It’s extra, it conveys her distaste for Brody, it betrays how she thinks Rachel deserves better, it’s a very Santana-esque move. What else can we wish for.

6. If I Die Young

The difficult one, isn’t it? A song that has been impossible to view in a vacuum separate from irl stuff from the moment it was performed on the show and has only become even more tragic since. If I Die Young is a favourite of mine, both the song itself and this cover, so I admittedly have bias going into this and not to mention the baggage it has due to incredibly real-life events. But if we at least attempt to put all that aside for a moment, I’ll argue that If I Die Young represents a similar aspect of Santana’s character as Cold Hearted does, only in a much more sincere and heartbreaking way.

If I Die Young is Santana’s tribute to Finn. As tumultuous as their relationship was and as much as Santana puts up her bitchy front up to this moment in the episode, it’s a touching tribute to a life cut short. But more than that, I’m choosing to place If I Die Young here because, by starting out with Santana weirdly offensive speech and ending in an emotional breakdown, it showcases who she is. Leave it to Santana to introduce her tribute with insults that baffle the audience but show her true colours in song. It’s not just the song choice, in itself touching and, in retrospect, haunting, but the way she sings it with so much heart and the way we see her mental journey take place throughout, it’s so telling. Santana has a strange relationship with the difference of words vs. actions and this time it’s no different, though very much in the tragic category.

And I do have to acknowledge once again that If I Die Young and in fact The Quarterback as a whole carry a lot of real-life baggage and it feels strange to judge this performance’s emotion as that of Santana’s when there was a very real pain there for Naya and others. But, despite what some annoying pieces of misinformation would have you believe, Naya was acting and at the end of the day we have Santana the character. And Santana the character had a very, very complicated relationship with Finn full of hurt, but that doesn’t mean her love can’t shine through in song. Especially in song, since we see time and again and particularly with later episodes how much easier it is further to be sincere in music than in plain words. So If I Die Young is as sincere as we get, and as raw by the end of it.

If Cold Hearted showcases Santana’s misguided but well-intentioned attempts at looking out for her friends, If I Die Young is proof of her heart even when she herself would rather not acknowledge it. What elevates it above the season 4 solo is this deeper sense of vulnerability, even before the breakdown. That it’s Santana baring her heart and she herself being taken aback by it. It’s fundamentally an expression of love, through song choice, context, emotion through vocals. And maybe the placement is mostly due to bias, sure, and maybe everything to do with The Quarterback is impossible the rank within the same framework as the rest of the show. Despite all that this feels right and so I rest my case.

5. If I Can’t Have You

Moving on to lighter subjects, we’re going from bluegrass to disco and talking about the solo that I’ve seen so many misinterpretations of. If I Can’t Have You doubles as both the kickstart to Santana’s career struggle storyline and as a serenade to Brittany, a public one this time around, and that combo gets it to the top 5.

First, let’s start with the career aspect and how Santana herself claims this is a song about her love for fame. Though I do think a lot of her post-performance speech is due to Will so incredibly weird and presumptuous about her song and Santana not vibing with that at all, as she shouldn’t, I also think it holds some truth. Truth in that If I Can’t Have You is about Santana hyperfocusing on the one thing she for sure knows she wants post-high school: fame. Her plans are so vague because she doesn’t quite have the introspection to examine what it is that appeals to her about fame and yeah, some of it is being defensive when Will goes ahead and takes a huuuge leap in logic. I don’t blame her for being weirded out by that and I don’t blame her for being an 18 year-old wanting fame but not having a clue as to what that means. So I do consider this to be the truth, her truth when it comes to this song.

But, and this is where the misinterpretations come in, I also think it was a love song directed towards Brittany. Only, Santana doesn’t do so well with an audience when it comes to how incredibly vulnerable her love for Brittany makes her and she doesn’t do well with people assigning her labels and paths and things she doesn’t want. So she refutes If I Can’t Have You being about her love for Brittany- no, actually. Crucially, she refutes all the bullshit Will starts talking about and doubles down on the fame aspect. But that can’t take away from the fact that it is a song, a love song she sings to Brittany and does so with the whole club there. Similarly to Love You Like a Love Song’s significance, this aspect of IICHY is about Santana having grown so much and being able to sing a song like this. Which is why it’s even more infuriating that Will had to go and ruin it and Santana got defensive, but it shows that Santana’s come a long way but she’s not there yet. She’ll sing to Brittany with the whole club being there but when she’s called out on it and when people try to put her into boxes, she doubles down. Good on her for that last part, Will can get fucked, but Santana could also have just admitted that it was a love song to Brittany instead of insisting it was all about fame.

All in all, an interesting example and the last solo on our list not to be what I consider an actual big character moment but a good case study of where Santana was at, mentally and emotionally, nonetheless. What’s the point in all this analysis if she’s not a layered and flawed character, after all.

4. Mine

If anything should tell you that this isn’t a personal preference ranking it’s that Mine is here and not on top, where it famously belongs according to my GCV tastes. And while Mine continues to be that bitch as far as I’m concerned, it’s doesn’t quite make it to the top 3. Still, fourth place is an achievement and it’s deserved for how serves not just the Brittana relationship but Santana’s character. If this was a Brittana songs and their significance ranking, Mine would go straight into the top 3 and possibly battle it out with Landslide but it still holds meaning for Santana as an individual.

The breakup is one of Santana’s most mature decisions in the whole series and I’m honestly struggling to think of anything else that could snatch first place from it. It’s not just that it marks a milestone in the Brittana relationship, it’s that, fresh off from graduation and her first few weeks in college, Santana already has enough distance from Lima to be able to make a more mature decision she ever could have in high school. People sometimes ask me why, as a Brittana fan, do I love their breakup so much but it’s simple. Because it is about love. About not wanting to lose each other but also not wanting to hurt one another. About Santana taking a step back and making a decision she knows will break both their hearts but deciding it’s better than the alternative. The potential of losing each other much more permanently.

That in itself is a breathtaking view into Santana’s character. And it’s so beautiful because we know her journey doesn’t end here, we know she’ll later use Nutbush as an opportunity to make Britt jealous even though she initiated the breakup and told Brittany to go out there and date. It’s not that Mine is the be all end all of mature decisions it’s that it shows a journey, a progress that isn’t linear and shows just how much Santana will be able to grow now that she’s out of Lima. And yes, it also shows how their relationship with Brittany has evolved.

I also love the words Santana says before the music starts. Where I could say things with music when words just weren’t enough. It shows further self-awareness and proof of introspection. And is it any wonder? She fell in love with Brittany in that back row. She counted smiles, she was her angsty teenage lesbian self. But not that the choir room isn’t the place she goes to for comfort, she realizes and, I think, appreciates just how much music means to her. Santana, who’s always been big on words and insults and threats but rarely was as intimidating when it came to actions. Who talked a big game but couldn’t articulate when it came to feelings. Music gave her an outlet and so she utilized its power excellently here.

I mean, do I even need to say it? Vocally, emotionally, Mine is the perfect solo. Compared to the original’s upbeat vibe it’s almost haunting and, in Britt’s word, sad. And yet there’s that spark of hope because Santana Lopez might have turned Mine into a breakup song but she did so with so much heart and love and even maturity. For all these reasons and more, I wholeheartedly believe it’s as much a milestone for her own character development as it is for the Brittana relationship.

3. Songbird

And just when you thought we were done getting emotional over choir room serenades, here comes the biggie. Similar to Mine in many ways but also the inverse and representing an entirely different moment in time for Santana. If Mine was introspective and a confidently vulnerable moment then Songbird is the baby step that lead to it. And though you could argue, and you’d be right, that Mine!Santana is much more self-assured and an overall better rounded version of herself than Songbird!Santana, I still place this higher than Mine.

The reason is simple. What we’re looking for here is not “when was Santana the best version of herself,” it’s more about how well a given solo represented that moment in time for her and what it tells us about her character. And sure, it’s also about when she was the most at her “character development fulfilled”-ness. But in the case of Songbird getting into the top 3, it’s not about the objective importance of a given moment but rather, how big a deal that step was for Santana relative to where she was in her story. And in that sense, there’s no beating Songbird as far as Brittana-related songs go. And McKinley songs, too, since this is the last solo on the list that Santana performs while still a high schooler.

Think about what this step meant for Santana. She might only be singing in private (Brad doesn’t count), she might be oh so fragile and she might even change her mind about coming out right after telling Brittany ‘yes’ re::Fondue for Two. But for these few minutes in the choir room she poured her heart out. She went through the Rumours album, listened to Songbird and went, ah yes. That is the song that best expresses what Brittany means to her. Even a step beyond Landslide! And it’s so raw and so personal and something she couldn’t possibly bear to be open about in public. But when it’s just Brittany sitting in that back row, Santana allows herself to fully feel her own feelings through Christine McVie’s song. In the grand scheme of things and how much she grows later on, it might not seem like much. But in that moment? Man, it means everything.

Landslide or not, Hurt Locker or not, I believe this is a major milestone in Santana’s journey and one of the first moments during her coming out storyline where she really allows her feelings to sink in. She allows vulnerability, if only for those few minutes, only in the choir room, only with Brittany. It’s impossible to overstate the importance of this, of what it meant for Santana to take this step forward even if it was then two steps back. Heck, maybe especially because it was then two steps back. Progress isn’t linear, Santana’s certainly isn’t, but these moments are no less magical and in fact all the more integral to who she is as a person.

2. Girl On Fire

God, I’ve waited so long to go on and on about Girl On Fire’s significance and now.... I have way too little to truly get into it And to be honest Girl On Fire, as well as the one last remaining song deserve their own posts so who knows, maybe parts three and four. But I won’t leave you with nothing, I will justify these choices.

When I first heard Santana performed Girl On Fire in the show, I immediately thought it was the perfect choice. Granted, that assessment was mostly vibes-based Santana is fire and if nothing else, the fact that this is the only time in the series this symbolism is implied would already put Girl On Fire on the top of my list. So much so that this was originally the number one solo I chose, until some aficionados of what was originally second place convinced me. Beyond the fire symbolism, it’s also just everything else not only about the fact that Santana got to cover this song but when she had the chance to.

I ranked Nutbush, her other Diva solo low and I stand by that but there would have been no better placement for GOF then just as Santana finally makes her way to New York. We’ve seen her struggle and hesitate about the future since I Can’t Have You and we’ll see her stumble some more, as DROMP shows, but this moment is truly hers. She makes one last attempt to make Lima home and Brittany stops her from making that mistake, instead encouraging her to do what she’s been wanting to for a while now. The word that circles my mind whenever I rewatch this whole scene with the Lima to NYC transition is triumphant, because it truly is such a milestone for Santana and such a leap of faith. A life-changing decision, really, and it ends up being a net positive even with struggles and roommate problems.

And for Santana to sing this song, of all things, it feels apt beyond comprehension. I’ve been saying for a long while that Girl On Fire is Santana’s character defining solo and, despite it only coming in second today I stand by that. The lyrics feel so appropriate, a somewhat rare occurrence on Glee and the whole sequence is worthy of the character. And trust me, the standard is very high for anything to be worthy of Santana in my eyes. Some highlights that a separate post would need to get into deeper include “You can try, but you'll never forget her name” and the entire bridge:

Everybody stares as she goes by 'Cause they can see the flame that's in her eyes Watch her when she's lighting up the night Nobody knows that she's a lonely girl and it's a lonely world But she gon' let it burn, baby, burn, baby

That’s so quintessentially Santana and it feels so satisfying to be able to say that, and that Glee chose an appropriate moment to let her sing this solo. When else if not when she truly leaves Lima behind, when she takes a leap of faith, when, after having regressed, she faces adult life for real. All of it is so good that I can barely believe it exists on a show like Glee.

1. Alfie

Between the Alfie love of some fellow Santana fans @randomcanbian, @amazonworrier and @danisdreaming, and posts they’ve made such as here and here, I felt like I had no choice. That last one especially tipped the scales but make no mistake, it wasn’t peer pressure that led me to making this final decision and putting Alfie on top. As with Girl On Fire, it’s hard to articulate everything that Alfie means in the context of Santana’s character within the constraints of a post like this. I could keep it brief by asking, what’s it all about? And just saying ‘love’, but it does warrant a little more exploration than that.

So... Alfie is Santana’s last solo. We started with Science Fiction Double Feature and now we’re here, both in terms of the show and this ranking. Season 6 scaled back on the number of solos, with even Rachel not having as many and characters like Kurt and Blaine having none. When I had my first full watch of the series, I was secretly, or, well, not so secretly hoping Santana would have one more hurray. And what a solo it is, one with a context unrivaled in its significance and a song that embodies Santana in a very different way than Girl On Fire did but is arguably even more poignant.

I don’t need to explain to anyone already reading this the role Alma plays in Santana’s life and what this performance dedicated to her means. What it means that Santana’s already been rejected before and she is once again when Alfie finishes. But also, what it means that Santana stands her ground anyway and stands by her own identity, by her growth that happened in spite of Alma’s rejection and cruelty. If only fools are kind, Alfie, then I guess it is wise to be cruel. That was Santana for so long and so much of it was because of Alma’s upbringing of tough love. But Santana isn’t a little girl anymore and she’s certainly not Alma’s little girl.

Santana’s also not the terrified girl who walked the halls of McKinley, so cruel and so afraid to show genuine emotion. She carries that person with her, sure, but she’s also singing about love in an auditorium full of friend and miscellaneous new kids now.The Santana who rejected vulnerability and never thought she could embrace love to the fullest is now singing an ode to the very thing. She has people literally backing her because she opened her heart up. She has the strength to basically reject Alma’s rejection because she’s come too far to believe that kindness is foolish and love isn’t something she could have. Instead, she is love and, though she still has a long way to go, she gives love and accepts it freely.

All of that is embodied in her performance of Alfie where she puts herself, her heart in the limelight and is brave enough to face Alma and a possible rejection. And when the rejection comes, she can cope much better thanks to the support she has because she opened herself up to kindness. This is Santana at her most vulnerable, arguably at her bravest, and since those are things she struggles with throughout the series, I’d even dare to say her best. And Alfie becomes the best solo in terms of importance because she pours all that into every syllable and every note. Don’t you see? She believes in love. The girl who sued to tear everyone down and would only dare whisper her true feelings, who would rather live up to worst expectations then open herself up to the potential of hurt now believes in love, above all.

#glee #santana lopez #santanalysis #brittana #mine gcv #alfie #girl on fire gcv #if i die young gcv #if i can't have you #cold hearted gcv #songbird gcv #didn't have time to proofread oops #song analysis

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thebreakfastgenie · 11 months

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WIP Game: By Any Other Name and Strawberry Fields!

I talked about by any other name here! here's another snippet:

“Thomas W. Gillis.” Sidney looks at him again, but Hawkeye avoids his gaze. “Born the same year as you,” he observes. “Friend of yours?” “We grew up together.” It sounds forced, clipped, even to him. It’s not even half the story, and he senses that Sidney knows just how much he’s leaving out, if not exactly what. Sidney glances at the headstone again. “1951.” He raises his eyebrows. “Did he die in Korea?” he asks in that way he has—gentle, but matter-of-fact. “Yeah, uh,” Hawkeye pauses. “I guess I never told you.” He looks at the headstone. Nestled just behind it are Tommy’s parents, who died within four months of each other, a couple of years before Daniel. They can’t hide from time any more than the Pierces can; the faded granite betrays the grave with the latest birthdate as the oldest. “He died at the 4077th.” Sidney conceals his surprise well, but not well enough. “Why do you suppose you never did?” “You remember what it was like over there,” he shrugs. “There was always something else.” Sidney waits. Sidney always waits. Sidney can sense when Hawkeye wants to say more, even before Hawkeye can. “I saw it happen,” Hawkeye adds carefully. “That must have been very painful.” It’s an honest assessment, not patronizing. He's always been able to count on Sidney for that. “It was almost thirty years ago,” Hawkeye says, like that makes it better instead of worse.

Unlike with Hawkeye's parents' graves, which he kind of does want to show Sidney, he just won't admit it, Hawkeye really does not plan on stopping at Tommy's grave. It's not in this excerpt, but on their way out of the cemetery, Sidney sees the same flowers from Hawkeye's parents' graves and the front of the house and makes the connection. W is a middle initial I gave Tommy because I thought he deserved one. That last line is very personal; it's weird to talk about your dead childhood best friend, and people will say they're sorry because there just isn't anything else to say, but it's weird to hear about something that happened so long ago so you say well, it was a long time ago, like that makes it better, but when you think about it it just means they died so young it's been that long and here you still are. Anyway. I hope you enjoy!

I am so happy you asked about Strawberry Fields because it's been on my mind! Strawberry Fields is very much a working title, but strawberries do figure. This fic is basically the night of the Rosslyn shooting from Josh's mom's perspective. One of the reasons I took a break was I couldn't figure out what the end point was, but I think it's going to be when she finally gets to DC, just before she sees him. I made some OCs to be her friends and neighbors and it was really fun! There's this one particular Moment I haven't been able to get right yet but I'm very excited for when I pull it off.

She took a third spoonful of filling. She never measured, it was always instinct. She always overfilled the spoon just slightly, so she could get it done in one go. Her hands were steady; she never spilled a drop. Jim had complimented her technique. She crimped the third tart, then went back for the fourth. There was a sharp knock at the door. The sound startled her. She dropped the spoon. It caught the side of the bowl with a splash, before clattering to the floor. There was a second knock. She turned in the direction of the front door, and her eye caught the television. The letters scrolled across the screen in red. Special Report Shots Fired President Bartlet She picked up the remote. She found the mute button without tearing her eyes away from the screen. The sound roared to life. “—and we can now confirm that President Bartlet’s motorcade has arrived at George Washington University Hospital—” Oh, God, she thinks. Let that be all. “—we are also receiving reports of several other injuries, but these victims have yet to be identified. The injury count is believed to be low—” Someone would call. If it was— someone would have called her. Someone was still knocking on the door. She stood, transfixed, in front of the TV. A shrill sound cut the kitchen in half, drowning out both the news report and the continued knocking. The telephone. She glanced toward the door, then turned her back on it. She picked up the phone.

#ty!!!! <3

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lostonehero · 11 months

Text

The homoerotic nature of sharing a body has drained this chapter so it ends suddenly

That is all

Henry, if he wasn't so used to the haunted animotronics around him, would have thought the old springlock suit finally gave out, as it laid sprawled out on the ground, twisted out of shape. What surprise him was the human familiar figure, a version stuck in the age he died in floating crossed, legged above the rusted monstrosity. Straining his eyes, Henry could see white chains connecting his old friend to the scrap metal.

Henry pushed back the gnawing fear in his mind since this was during the day. He just spent too much time here. That phrase he repeated to himself ignoring the fact he knows he's on deaths door from his age alone.

Henry sighs, watching his old friend deep in thought. William still did do the same things when he was thinking when they were kids back in college. That was a lifetime and many bad decisions ago.

His attention is drawn to the many patrons of the museum. He was happy, and business was booming. Granted, William was always better at crunching the numbers and keeping them afloat.

He shook his head. He had to be in the moment no use in dwelling on what ifs. He did promise to look at the police reports for William's sake. He had to ask his nephew how he stayed so young, well looked so young, his eyes were haunted beyond his years.

Maybe he should allow himself to be selfish, just this once. He wasn't ready to die yet, and maybe he could still put up a good fight in his old bones. At least until he was sure Micheal was fine.

...

Henry frowns at the delay on his desk. His lovely stockholders have pushed back the night opening to October, six months away from his original opening date, excuses about how a haunted attraction will make the nighttime worth it. He sighs, pushing the paper away from him. At least they approved it. He hated having to get permission for his own work to open.

Henry checked his phone again, and he frowns, looking at time. It's been two days only two days since Micheal was here, two days since he thought Micheal was an imposter, two days since... he frowned.

He still hasn't gotten the reports for William. He wasn't ready himself to read them himself. How could William be ok. They both saw how much Micheal was destroyed.

Henry sighs, turning his attention to the knock on his door. The museum was open, and his workers knew only to get him for emergencies or repairs. "Well, don't just knock on my door all day."

A blonde hair man enters with one of his guards behind him.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Emily he insisted that he come see you immediately." Susan was her name. She was one of his older guards, ex military, he believes.

Henry's annoyed expression melted into a smile. "Ah yes, Susan. That's Jeremy he was supposed to start next week with Micheal for the night shift. Well, you know how the shareholders are."

Susan nods. "Of course, next time, have your security pass."

Jeremy waves as she leaves.

Henry hums. "Forgive her. She has become protective over me. Jeremy, what brings you here?" Where's Micheal remains unsaid as he motions for a chair opposite his desk.

Jeremy smiles and sits, shutting the door behind him. "It's lively for being the daytime as well." He pauses. "Micheal is uh talking to some, er.... people." He waves his hands and shifts in his seat.

"Is everything ok?" Henry raises his brow.

"I'm fine, everything is fine, just dunno I just wanted... no, not the right phrase. I have to talk to you." Jeremy sighs. "It's about Micheal."

Henry narrows his eyes. "What about him?"

Jeremy bites his lip and stares at his hands. "Well, I uh... he's been through a lot, and I uh wasted to make sure that you wouldn't leave when he finally opened up."

Henry's face softens. "Jeremy, I helped raise that boy, I won't just abandon him unless my old heart gives out, then I can't really help in the matter." Jeremy likes dark humor, right? He was cheering Micheal up with that.

Jeremy smiles and looks up. "I know I don't even know everything. You can help fill in some blanks, too... but I uh just don't want Micheal to lose support."

Henry gets up and walks over to Jeremy, placing his hand on the young adult shoulder. "You truly care for my nephew, don't you?"

"I do, sir." Jeremy looks up from his seat.

"Now you don't have to tell me anything, but I want you to know that I will not hurt Micheal." Henry sighs, clutching his cane. "He's been through too much for that."

Jeremy nods. "He asked me not to say anything about anything yaknow...."

"That's ok, I'm glad you respect my nephew."

"Could you show me around? Micheal has told me a bit, and I know I used to work for you, but I want to know about..."

"Yes, I can give you a personal tour, Jeremy. It won't nearly be as eventful as the nighttime, but it will be informative." Henry smiles and opens the door. "Amd it's an excuse to leave this stuffy office. I never understood how William liked them."

....

Jeremy stops by springtrap, staring into the display. "Does it hurt?"

"A springlock failure is disastrous and extremely painful. There is almost no chance of survival, but the springs lock keep pressure, making the pain last until your final breath." He pauses. "But these were prototypes and used rarely before we figured out a more stable animotronics that didn't need a human behind it."

Jeremy shakes his head. "The chains, do they hurt him?"

Henry swallows. "What?"

Jeremy points to above the suit, where William is floating above springtrap, Lizzie is leaning against him, and Evan is in his lap.

Henry frowns. "How can you..."

"See them?" Jeremy hums, placing his hand against the glass. "I mean, I was technically dead for a bit in the hospital. I think Micheal can see them too, but he wasn't really all here when we first visited."

Henry frowns, tearing his eyes away from the scene. "I never asked him, I don't think he realizes we can see him during the day."

"Most don't." Jeremy says, humming. "So, did you two ever master the springlock suit?"

Henry blinks at the sudden change of topic. "Uh, I think springtrap is the perfect answer on how that went."

"Oh... Micheal said he wore one back in Circus Baby's." Jeremy blinks, changing his attention to the older style four. "Hey, where did you get the idea for the four of them?"

Henry opens his mouth and then closes it, Micheal wore a springlock suit? The only other one was an even earlier version, even more dangerous. It was more so a test to see how far they could test it. He didn't even think William kept it.

"Henry?" Jeremy tilts his head blonde hair moving to reveal more of his scar.

"Right, what was the question?" Henry bites his lip, focusing on Jeremy.

"The original four, how did you decide the animals?"

Henry smiles. "Now that takes me back, oh Charlie loves this story..."

Jeremy stops checking his phone. "Oh, good news."

Henry pauses, looking back. "Ah, what's the news?"

"Micheal is home. Everything went well." Jeremy pauses. "He wants to know if next week is ok to come at night. He wants to see you and his father."

Henry perks up. "Of course, you two are always welcome."

"Can we, can we continue this tour? I told Micheal I'm here, and I wanted to hear more."

Henry nods. "Of course, it's been a while since I've done the full tour. Come on, I think we're at the fun time animotronics."

.....

The night grew still. Even inside the museum, everything seemed off, out of place. Lizzie wasn't playing the piano music, and Evan's normal static was absent. It was as if everyone held their breath, waiting for something to happen.

Henry is in the center of it all holding a neutral look as he sat on his bench on his laptop. The tapping of the keys was the only thing making sound in this haunted place.

William as gently as he could put his hand on his glass. "Well?"

Henry shuts the computer, color draining from his pale complexion. "I only saw one picture, I can't go further."

William pauses. "Henry?"

"No, William, I can't." Henry bites his lip and covers his face. "Micheal was the first picture."

"Micheal? Henry, please, that's my son. I have to know."

Henry is shaking. He chokes out a strangled sob. The laptop crashes to the ground as Henry hugs his chest sobbing.

William presses what his face has become to the glass. "Henry..."

Henry can't talk. He hasn't broken down this bad since he lost Charlie. It was one photo, and it sent him over the edge.

William slid down the glass onto the floor. He wanted no need to comfort Henry. The glass was in the way. His death trap of a springlock suit was in his way, and his cold corpse was in the way. He couldn't help his partner anymore then he could help himself.

.....

Henry left without a word. He left his laptop on the ground. William stared at the futuristic piece of technology. The internet wasn't really a thing when he had working lungs. Just the sum of all human knowledge at the tip of your fingers.

He blinked, and the laptop that's what Henry called it was in his enclosure. A portable computer, imagine if they had them before. He shooks away those thoughts. Big cumbersome animotronics hands weren't made to handle delicate technology, but he had enough influence over his ghostly form to crack it open enough that he could push it open with his giant hands.

Password.

William huffed, of course, this marvelous machine would have protection. Henry was smart, and he didn't expect anything less from his better half.

William, for the most part, wasn't privy to anything of this modern world. He was stuck in a machine costume from a bygone era, pushed into terrible things from his puppeteering wife. She always knew how to control him.

Anger, he had to control his anger. He could just as easily ruin the one chance he had to outside information. One chance to see what had destroyed his partner. He took a breath for his rotted lungs and thought of meaningful dates, places, ideas, anything that Henry would use to open the gateway into his personal access to all of human knowledge.

Was there a limit on how many he could try? Did capital letters count differently than lowercase? What would be important enough to Henry to use as a password?

William huffed. He didn't have a lot of time. Once the morning shift comes, everything in his enclosure that isn't permitted will be swiftly removed and gone through. He knew the procedure by now.

A thought crossed his mind, and without realizing it, he was typing. He had little to no control over his powers, unlike the children around him. He was trapped to this rusted scrap heap and never had the chance to even see what he could do.

William blinks, and it worked. He swallows rising emotion in his shredded throat. Henry that sentimental fool. It wasn't a surprise that William would melt if Henry just....

William slammed the laptop shut, shattering the complex machines. He kept slamming his hand against the machine until it was nothing but a pile of broken parts. He let out a strangled scream, and the museum seemed to silence itself.

"Nobody is allowed, no one." He shouts, voice twisted with the audio glitching. "Don't look. Don't touch. Don't come near me."

Twisted glitches audio turned into strangled cries of anguish, as every camera in the museum broke down one by one.

...

Henry gives a glance to William. The broken laptop and the pieces that are still scattered around William remain unspoken.

William's springlock suit remains crumpled on the ground, Henry watches as William struggles against the chains that bind him. He's been at it ever since he saw the photos.

The cameras haven't been touched, the electrician has tried, but a new replacement breaks almost immediately like something is purposely not letting them work.

Henry warns them to let the spirits rest before trying. Nobody believes him. They try at night, and the repairmen run out faces paler than a drop of white paint.

Back to Henry, he sits on the bench, watching his old partner struggle against his chains. The new electronics in the building have all cesed functions due to William, but Henry can't be mad. They are both trapped, and the children seem to have hidden themselves in their own machines. No child likes to see an adult upset.

#five nights at freddy's #fnaf #immortal micheal afton #micheal afton #henry emily #william afton

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