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bratzforchris · 3 months

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little!matt having a panic attack during a podcast and cg!reader helping calm him down maybe?

Relax, Baby

Summary: Anxiety can be really, really hard, but with your help, Matt knows he'll always be okay<3

Pairing: Little!Matt x gender neutral and caregiver!reader

Warnings: Panic attack

Word Count: 894

A/N: As always, age regression is a nonsexual and innocent coping mechanism. Also, I am not saying or assuming this is how Matt is irl. It's fiction. If you don't like it, don't read it :) Enjoy!

Anxiety and panic attacks had been a struggle in Matt’s life for quite some time now. He always thought too much about how people felt about him and how he was perceived, which would usually lead to him having a rather bad panic attack. You had known this going into your relationship with the boy, and together, you two had worked to find a solution that would help him heal and calm down.

When you had first suggested the idea of age regression to Matt, he had heavily refused, insisting that he didn’t need to be babied. With some gentle coaxing, you had gotten him to just try it, only for Matt to realize just how much regressing helped. Allowing someone else to take the reins for a bit, while he went back to a peaceful, childlike state, was like a breath of fresh air. Whenever he slipped into littlespace, Matt could feel the tension leaving his body, especially when he cuddled up with you. But littles were people with big emotions, and on days like today, those emotions took over everything else.

The triplets were getting ready to film a new episode for Cut the Camera, and Matt was less than excited. Nick and Chris had been getting on his nerves all morning, calling him things like ‘Miserable Matt’ and ‘Mumble Matt’. Normally, this wouldn’t really bother him and he’d just make a joke back, but today, he’d been feeling extra anxious since the moment he’d woken up. Matt sat in his chair in front of the mic, fiddling with the stuffed flamingo he kept there for comfort. His mind was anywhere but the episode; instead, he was thinking about you upstairs in your cozy, shared bedroom. You had been disinfecting his stuffed animals when he came downstairs to film, and all he wanted was to be cuddled up in your arms again, covered up with his woodland animals blanket, paci in his mouth, and Mr. Wrinkleton in his hand.

“God, Matt,” Nick interjected. “Are you even paying attention?”

Matt flushed scarlet, his ears and cheeks going red. “Um…what was the question?” he asked quietly, biting at his cuticles.

“Kid can’t even remember the question,” Chris rolled his eyes. “Too busy being ‘Miserable Matt’ to pay attention.”

“I’m not being miserable,” Matt huffed. “I was just thinking.”

“About your significant other treating you like a fucking baby? Don’t think we haven’t noticed.” Chris bit back.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Matt hastily pushed his chair back, already sobbing and struggling to breathe. He had been on the verge of panic all morning, and now that Chris had spewed his deepest secret on camera, there was no going back. The brunette ran up the stairs, trying not to hyperventilate as he burst through the bedroom door. You looked up from the desk where you were working, glancing at Matt’s huddled form on the bed, his body shaking with tears.

“Honey, what’s wrong? I thought you guys were filming?” You asked, checking the time on your phone as you rushed to Matt’s side.

Matt just sobbed, his wails ricocheting around the room. His hands had moved to tangle in his hair as he hyperventilated, eyes wide with panic. You could see it in Matt’s glazed over eyes that he wasn’t fully ‘there’, whether that be from the panic or from slipping into littlespace. Either way, you knew you had to help him. You gently removed Matt’s hands from his hair as he wailed, holding them softly.

“Matt. You are panicking. You need to breathe,” You instructed, placing one of his hands on your chest. “In for four, out for four. Copy me.”

Matt tried his best to copy you, and his cries slowly reduced to little sniffles and hiccups as he latched onto you, thumb migrating to his mouth. “Hate Chris. Hate him.” he mumbled, suckling on his thumb as his babyspace lisp made an appearance.

“Oh sweetheart,” You cooed sadly. “Is that what’s got you so upset?”

Your boy sniffled again, laying his head down on your shoulder. “Feels sicky.”

You pouted, knowing that Matt tended to get nauseous during and after a panic attack, and especially after a fight with his brothers. You didn’t ask what had gone on between him and Chris for fear of upsetting, but you knew the conversation would need to happen eventually. You just moved towards the bed, laying down with Matt and tucking him in next to you. You handed him his water bottle and Mr. Wrinkleton off the nightstand, watching for any signs of another impending panic attack.

“Can you drink some water, baby? Just a little?”

Matt nodded, taking a few small sips, before cuddling up with his stuffed animal. A great yawn escaped his mouth as you handed him his blue, decorated pacifier that read ‘Baby Boy’ on it. It wasn’t long before your boy was cuddled into your side, snoring softly while clutching his stuffie and suckling away on his pacifier. You knew that you would have to find out what Chris had done in order to make Matt so upset, but for now, you just focused on cuddling the sleeping baby beside you.

tags ♡: @jake-and-johnnies-slut @mattsfavwh3re @suyqa @chrissturnswife @mbsbaby @herxyz @lovingchrissposts @caffeinatedscorpio @bunny-cotton @crazychrisl0v3r @sturnioloxlver @whicked-hazlatwhore @blahbel668 @junnniiieee07 @biggesthat3r @sturniolowhore @ginswife @emmagirouard @athaliahxoxo @bitchydragonparadise @ilydeaky @soggyslugg169 @not-phone-guy @books0fever @stingerayyy2 @sunsetsturniolos @mimi-luvzyu @faygo-frog @oobleoob @runasvengence @aemrsy

note ♡: my taglist is closed for the time being, thank you so much for your support 💐🧸🎀

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jacksdinonuggets · 4 months

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~Fight Nights~

Y'ALL I HAD AN IDEA AND I WROTE IT.

Summary: Vaggie has a fight with Charlie and needs comfort. However, the only other person she can run to is Carmilla

Vaggie stormed out of the hotel, angry, and on the brink of tears. She and Charlie had just gotten into a fight. They didn’t fight often so it really affected them when they did. The reason that they fought? Vaggie was suppressing her negative emotions again, therefore keeping a secret. This made Charlie pretty upset since she wanted them to have a mutual relationship and not just one protector. However, Vaggie viewed herself as someone who couldn’t show weakness so she got pretty worked up when Charlie confronted her about it. She didn’t mean to turn it into an argument. It just sort of happened.

Anyways, she just really needed comfort from someone and the only other person she could really go to was carmilla. She had been taking fighting lessons once a week with her and sometimes, she would even teach a little bit of ballet so she could learn to dance-fight. At first, they would just go back and forth with returning weapons and paying some loans and business stuff but then they started to get a bit personal. Sometimes, if Vaggie was having a bad day, Carmilla would invite her into her office and they would talk about whatever was bothering her before they practiced.

So, still slightly pissed and more emotional than ever, she walked to her warehouse that was also just her normal house. She knocked on the big metal doors, hanging her head low. Now was not the time to cry.

The doors opened after a couple of seconds and Carmilla greeted her at the door.

“Vaggie, what brings you here? It is not our normal practice day,” She questioned as she urged the girl inside.

“I just-... I needed someplace safe to cool down. Me and Charlie had a fight,” Vaggie explained. Talking had never seemed as hard as it did at that moment. It felt like with every word she was about to break down into tears. Usually, if she was feeling like this, she would go to Charlie and the two would cuddle, spend time together, or have little time. But she couldn’t because she felt wrong for having to want comfort from the person she just fought with. It would be awkward and strange.

Carmilla sighed, “How about you meet me in my office and i’ll bring up a cup of tea. Then you can tell me all about it, ‘kay?” Vaggie nodded and started walking up the stairs. She passed the big doors that lead into the main house area and went towards the office.

As Vaggie was waiting, she could feel her headspace teetering. It was a weird feeling to want to be taken care of and comforted by basically a stranger. But somehow she grew sort of attached to her.

When Carmilla returned, she had two cups of tea in her hand. She gave one to Vaggie, who was sitting on the couch. She nodded a thank you and took a sip. Carmilla sat next to her and put her’s on the coffee table.

“Alright, why don’t you tell me what’s going on?” she prompted. Vaggie took a deep breath and began.

“Charlie had begun to notice that i was hiding my vulnerable emotions and lying whenever she would ask if i was okay. I get overwhelmed easily but I would say i was fine whenever someone would ask, just to not be seen as weak. Well, she noticed and confronted me about it. We got into this huge fight and she brought up how i haven’t regressed-” Shit, she can’t tell her that. That’s too personal. Plus, what if she thinks its weird? “Uh- I mean used this one coping mechanism in a month or two and that i was repressing it,” wow, great save there.

“Anyways, she hit a few nerves that I know she probably regrets. I said a few things I’m not proud of, but it still hurts. Its like, I really want a hug but I can’t get it because she’s the only one I have who can comfort and love me!” Vaggie spiraled. At this point, she didn’t even care that she was talking to a dangerous overlord. She just needed to rant. And rant she did.

“Would it make you feel better if I gave you a hug?” Carmilla offered. She saw how Vaggie looked as though she desperately needed one. It was like looking at a small panicking child. You just needed to help them. In a way, Vaggie reminded her of her daughters. And Carmilla reminded Vaggie of a mother in a way. Not like she’s ever known hers, being a heavenborn orphan whose only family consisted of exorcists who bullied her.

Vaggie nodded. Carmilla wrapped her arms around the small, short girl and gave a reassuring squeeze. Vaggie had never wanted to cry more than did right now. It was overwhelming. But not exactly in a bad way. She felt this strange, clingy emotion towards her.

Carmilla was about to pull away but she felt something stopping her. Vaggie’s arms were gripping her waist like her life depended on it and she could feel something wet on her collarbone where Vaggie had her head. She hadn’t even noticed the girl start crying. But nonetheless, she rubbed her back and comforted her, just like she would with her daughters.

“Shh, it's okay, I’ve got you,” she whispered in a soothing motherly tone, the one she never uses with strangers or in combat.

Vaggie’s headspace dipped so far when those words were spoken. She felt so small, like a toddler in Carmilla’s big embrace.

“Mama..” Vaggie mumbled into her chest. It was very muffled and quiet though.

Carmilla noticed the words spoken from vaggie and knew that the girl’s headspace had dropped. She wasn’t stupid. She knew what regression was.

“Mama’s here, sweetie,” she gently told her.

The two hugged for what seemed to be 5 minutes until Vaggie calmed down. She didn’t want to let go though. It felt so good to feel loved.

“It seems like it’s past your bedtime, little one,” she said when they pulled apart. Vaggie pouted but was noticeably tired. It was about 9:30 and her little brain could only stay up so late.

“Come on, I’ve got a spare room you can use.” she stood up and signalled for her to follow her. However, she Vaggie was having some trouble standing. She kept falling over. Having one eye and being small didn’t mix well for balance.

Carmila bent over and picked her up. She held her by her hip as she carried her out of the office, their tea forgotten. She walked towards the big doors that led to the main house area. When she opened the doors, Clara and Odette were sitting in the living room on the couch. They looked up to see their mother carrying the princesses girlfriend? It confused them but Carmilla mouthed ‘I’ll explain later’.

When they approached the guest room, Carmilla was able to hold Vaggie with one hand for about a second to open the door. They didn’t have any spare pajamas so Vaggie would have to sleep in her current clothes. They didn’t seem too uncoomfortable though.

Carmila laid her down in the bed and pulled the covers over her, tucking her in.

“Wha’ bout Char-Char?” Vaggie rubbed her eyes. The big kid in her knew that Charlie would be expecting her to be home in about an hour and would definitely begin freaking out if she wasn’t home by then.

“I’ll let her know you’re staying the night,” Carmilla said in a hushed voice, “For now, its ni-ni,”

Once she was done tucking her in she turned off the lights and left, but not before cracking the door just in case Vaggie needed anything during the night. Then, she went back downstairs to explain the situation to her daughters. They seemed pretty okay with it and promised not to spread it, as Carmilla knew it was something she’d probably like to keep a secret. In the end, Carmila never expected to be the mother of three, yet here she was.

#agere fanfic #agere writing #safe agere #sfw agere #age regression #hazbin hotel agere #sfw littlespace #hazbin hotel vaggie #hazbin hotel carmilla #carmilla carmine #Carmilla Carmine is Vaggie's caregiver #hazbin hotel age regression #hazbin hotel littlespace

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wolfjackle-creates · 1 year

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Ghost!Robin Part 6

It's Wednesday, you know what that means! After spending so much time writing for Carry Your Heart this week, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get a long enough segment of this completed to share. Especially since I had a busy weekend. But here we are with 1.3k more words!

Time for the explanations to start.

First, Previous

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Danny slapped his hand over his face. “Jazz!” he hissed. He looked over, hoping Robin could help him. Only to realize he had rushed over to Alfred to give him a hug. “Great,” he muttered. “Everything is fine!” Danny tried to assure the room as he let his transformation flow over him.

The shouted questions just got louder and Jazz shifted to more completely block Danny from view.

“Jazz!” Danny tried again. “Lower your weapon! They’re safe!”

“Mom and Dad were supposed to be safe, too!”

Danny sighed. Then he ducked under her arm, using a mix of martial arts training from Pandora and intangibility to prevent her from stopping him. Ignoring the Waynes, he turned his back to them to face his sister. Robin could explain things to them if he wanted. “Jazz, it’s okay. They’re in almost as much danger from the Guys in White as I am.” He put his hands over hers and found the button to disarm her staff.

At least one person behind him demanded he explain what he meant by that, but Danny just looked Jazz in the eyes as he removed the staff handle from her hands.

She let him take it an narrowed her eyes at him. “What do you mean.”

Danny gave her his biggest shit-eating grin. “Congrats on the second dead boyfriend. I like this one much more than the first. Goes well with the dead brother.”

“Second…” Jazz’s voice trailed off as she looked over the people behind him. It was getting harder to ignore their shouted questions and demands for explanations. “Jason was the second Robin.”

“Yep,” agreed Danny. “And something went wrong when he was brought back to life. He ended up split in two and haunted by his own ghost.”

“Why couldn’t I see him? Or sense him?”

“He was that weak. I gave him some of my ectoplasm to strengthen him which is why he’s visible now.”

“Okay. Okay. So, what next?”

“Now I apologize to Jason and petition a founding member of the Justice League for assistance for my people.” Before Jazz could ask the questions she clearly wanted to at the last half of his sentence, Danny turned around and faced the Waynes.

Nearly all of them were facing Danny and Jazz in fighting stances. Damian had gotten a sword from somewhere and looked like he was half a second from rushing them. Bruce’s expression was blank, but his fists were clenched and he was glaring at Danny. Though his eyes kept flicking to Robin who had stopped hugging Alfred and was settled on Barbara’s lap signing to Dick and Alfred. Cass was paying more attention to them than Danny and Jazz.

But Danny didn’t really care about any of them. He sought out Jason who was pressed against the wall staring at Robin with wide eyes, a gun held loosely in his hand. “Jazz, feel free to share anything. Bruce is Batman. I’m gonna talk to your boyfriend for a moment.”

“How did you find that out?” demanded Bruce who moved to block Danny’s way.

At the same time, Jason fell into a defensive stance and held up the gun properly. “Don’t come closer!”

Danny cocked his head and looked at the gun. With barely a thought, he froze the trigger mechanism so it couldn’t shoot while sending out calm, safe, no harm pulses from his core. He trilled a I come in peace for good measure. To Bruce, he said, “Robin told me.” But then he realized there was more than one Robin present. “Not… Damian? The dead one.”

He realized that was an awful way to phrase it even as Jazz hissed his name in reproach. Even Robin facepalmed at his statement.

Bruce barely twitched. “Who are you?” he demanded, voice low and threatening.

“Right, okay, that’s a fair question. So I haven’t lied about who I am. Or much of anything tonight, really. I’m Danny. I was born Danny Fenton until my parents decided they were not okay having a half-dead son and tried to fix me. I escaped and now I respect their wishes by not using their last name. I did die when I was fourteen and became a vigilante in our home town keeping humans safe from ghosts and ghosts safe from humans. I was able to broker a semi-permanent peace on the ghostly side a few years ago and retired from vigilantism. But now I’m basically the liaison between the living realms and the Infinite Realms. Which means I need to talk to your son. So we’ll continue this after I do.”

“I will not allow you near Jason until you explain everything.” Bruce stood even taller and tried to loom over Danny.

“It’s his medical information. I’ll explain what I can to him and he can choose what to share with you. Besides, I’m a ghost. You really can’t stop me.” He strengthened the peace, no harm, calm vibes he was sending out. Bruce was liminal enough he should be able to feel them. “You know I’m telling the truth. You’ve died and there are no secrets among the dead.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Damian lower his sword.

“What are you doing?” demanded Bruce who didn’t relax at all.

“Later,” insisted Danny. This was pointless. He needed to talk to Jason and delaying wasn’t going to help any of them. Turning intangible, he walked around Bruce whose arms went right through him. As did Tim’s follow-up attacks.

“What are you doing?” yelled Tim as he tried to restrain Danny.

“Trying to talk to your brother,” replied Danny. “You should let me do it.” And then he was before Jason.

The calming pulses from his core had calmed his sister’s boyfriend down somewhat. The gun was now pointed at the ground and his hand wasn’t on the trigger anymore. Not that it would’ve fired anyway, but Jason didn’t know that.

“I’m sorry.” He heard Jazz yelling at Tim and Bruce and starting her own explanations and happily let her handle her boyfriend’s family. To Jason, he continued, “I knew Clockwork was hiding something from me about you and Jazz, but I let myself get distracted and put off visiting you. I don’t know everything that happened to you or how or why you’ve been split in two, but I can help. However you want. I promise to explain everything I do know tonight. Once we get somewhere private. Do you want Jazz there, too? I’d recommend it since she’s better at explaining things than me, but it’s your choice.”

“What are you? What is that?” Jason pointed to Robin with a shaking hand.

Danny smiled sadly. “You know who he is. He’s you. Whatever brought you back to life did a fucking awful job of it. Being split in two like this isn’t good for you and I say that from experience. Now, I can keep answering your questions here in full hearing of every single member of your family, or we can wait until later. I promise no more harm will come to you.”

“He’s been there the whole time?”

“He’s been there the whole time,” confirmed Danny. “Waiting a few hours won’t change a single thing.”

Jason nodded once and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and as he did so seemed to stand up taller. When he opened his eyes again, he no longer looked to be on the verge of attack. He even clicked the safety of his gun back on and put it away. “Now, I do have one question,” he said.

“Anything.”

“What was that you meant about me being Jazz’s second dead boyfriend?”

Over his surprised laughter, he heard Jazz’s groan from across the hall. Yeah, he really did like Jason more than Johnny.

---------

Danny is setting himself up to be interrogated by the entire batclan. He has no idea what he's about to face. I wanted to get more into everyone's reactions, but that'll come in the next parts.

Unrelated to this fic, I'm glad you all enjoyed I'll Carry Your Heart! I did feel a little guilty with the comments/tags on part 2 talking about how sweet and fluffy it was only to twist all of that in part 3. It was a lot of fun to write and I can't wait to get back to it.

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@addie-lover-of-stories, @justwannabecat, @gin2212, @amercurio, @regonold, @overtherose, @readerzj, @sjrose1216, @echoednonny, @deeterzz, @blu-lilac, @number-one-jew, @rowanaway-fromthisbs, @vythika96, @tired-yet-awaken, @themirrorghost, @emeraldcorpral, @all-mights-asscheeks, @darkhinauniverse, @blep-23, @phandomhyperfixationblog, @larkcoe1, @thegatorsgoose, @job-ross-the-second, @britcision, @lenacraft, @bubblemixer, @androgynouslordofescapism, @purefrickingspite, @leftmiraclechaos, @lizisipancardo, @starlight-sparks, @miraculousandmore, @gildedphoenix, @sometimesthingsfallapart, @letmesayfuxk, @phoenixcatch7, @skulld3mort-1fan, @abaowo, @dhampir-princess, @idkmrpianoman, @sarina-elais, @ballzfrog-blog, @undead-essence, @spookytragedyshark, @flyingpansaurus, @akintoabitch, @marivictal, @8-29pm, @justreadingthefanfics, @happybear135, @kisatamao, @spoopyspoony

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catboybiologist · 6 months

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I was wondering if you had any readings on the biological aspects of transitioning, especially with the info you use to deconstruct the transphobia argument that being transgender is ‘against biology’. Im a biological sciences major, but haven’t gotten to discuss (much less find resources on) this topic.

Thanks in advance.

Long and rambling response incoming! Sorry for leaving this in my inbox for a few weeks.

This is a very interesting topic to me, and doesn't really have a clean answer. Because its not really about the biology itself, its mostly about the philosophy of science, and how it interfaces with ethics, etymology, and societal understanding. The primary thing to understand is that science is *descriptive*. Morality or classifications are societal determinations that we use to "wrap" scientific observations- gender is therefore the societal "wrapper" to sex, which, over centuries, has snowballed and taken a social definition well past any biological system.

That being said, most of my arguments hinge on the totality of changes that are possible with HRT, and how they affect the molecular mechanisms of sex determination. To me, this sheer totality means that a trans man with significant time on HRT can actually be considered a "biological man", and vice versa for a trans woman. To me, the sheer extent to which cell expression patterns change, and structural elements of the body change, means that the way that transphobes use terminology like "biological sex" is bullshit. And as I've said before, this is NOT a transmedicalist argument, and if I ever sound transmed, I am sorry. Part of the totality of this biological definition includes the interface of genetics, pyschology, and sociology that comprehensively includes all trans people, even those not on HRT. Rather, I use the changes of HRT as a way to demonstrate the plasticity of sex in humans and other animals, and how thin the barrier between sexes actually is. This punches holes in a lot of the propaganda that transphobes tend to roll out, and helps demonstrate how flimsy their talking points are. All of this is to say, something can't be "against biology" because biology is morally neutral. It's not morality. It's not static definitions. It's a set of observations. But, our thinking about definitions and classifications can reflect and be advised by these observations. For me, it helped to think about HRT changes, because my personal mentality is one of a constructed identity. I define myself by what I am in the moment, and if I can document my current state, that helps define who I am- which is a woman. The biology of transition told me how deeply that is true, and continually becomes more true, on a molecular level. So. Here's some individual papers and points that help guide my thinking on the topic, and how each helped me find peace with transitioning: Medical descriptions of changes on HRT:

I'm sure everyone is familiar with this and the WPATH, but from the perspective of medical expectations. Instead, take a look at the changes documented here, and start thinking about how deep and profound they are- these cell types and body structure are sitting there just waiting to happen, and they are literally the same as their cis counterparts. This was huge for me in accepting that my post-HRT body wouldn't be "fake", and actually is literally the

Review paper of sex determination pathways in the animal kingdom:

Transphobes use chromosomes as a prescriptive definition of sex and gender. However, if you take a broader look and see how sex determination works in animals with similar genetic mechanisms as us, it becomes pretty clear that chromosomal sex determination is a late addition to the party. Essentially, most animals use a fairly random mechanism to ensure an advantageous sex ratio in their population. This is often environmental or based on some random gene on chromosome that looks nothing like XY sex determination, but if a large chromosomal deletion comes along, its a convenient way to keep the big version of the chromosome always paired with the small chromosome- for example, the X chromosome always being paired with another X, or its half-deleted pair, the Y chromosome. But there's nothing intrinsic about the chromosomes itself that define sex, its just an evolutionary ride-along mechanism.

So what does actually determine sex? Well, as with any broad scale developmental effect, one signalling molecule or gene can cause extensive downstream genetic effects, and that active, lived set of gene expression then defines what secondary sex characteristics develop.

(even though the main point is about spermatogenesis, it does provide a lot of nice summary figures about testosterone signalling) While these papers don't talk about trans people, the introduction of cross-sex hormones will activate these pathways, and cause the wide variety of downstream transcriptional changes in gene activation. Essentially, the active genes in your body will follow the dominant upstream sex hormones in your body. If you're transfemme, on HRT, the active genes in your body are female ones. If you're transmasc, on HRT, the active genes in your body are male ones.

While I never explicitly studied trans people in my biology education, studying principles of gene regulation, chromosome biology, and just a tad of reproductive physiology means that I started to think about how all of those interface with the way we define ourselves in a lot of ways. And usually, that is dynamic- you can have developmental changes kicked off by signalling molecules later in life, and it would be deranged to ignore those changes out of spite and insist that the biological system is still the thing it was before. Sex determination is not exempt from that.

Again, I use HRT changes as an example, but you can find many similar papers on the psychology of transness even pre-HRT. But, I would caution against trying to find a "root biological reason" for being trans pre-HRT- its likely too polymodal to accurately characterize. It's why I stray away from neurological papers and arguments here. That is an ENTIRELY different argument and this post is already long. But hey, every ask I get like this helps formalize my thoughts on the matter. Hope this helped!

#trans biology thoughts

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littledigits · 1 year

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That time when working in animation made me realize I needed therapy

Since we're on the topic of overworking / being passionate in animation and blah blah blah. I want to share my story about working on the first season of Hilda (for context I was the animation director), specifically..how completely garbo my mental health got because

I INSISTED ON WORKING MYSELF INTO THE GROUND.

This is a story I've shared when I've had a chance to do lectures or talks, and if there is one really awesome thing that comes with ..weird ..animation clout, its that you can use those powers for good in terms of teaching people about the BS that comes with the job...anyway.

The reason why I like to talk about this is because I insisted on doing it to myself, and that was really got me thinking about the factors that do lead us into over working. Because heres the deal

Hilda season 1 was, without getting into too many details, a heckofatime...especally for the core crew. we were a small group, doing something new because most of us haven't worked on a show before that included pre production. My entire career up to that point had been working on service work for shows that were created in Burbank, so the new pipeline had a ton of challenges. We did all care, and we all believed in the project SOOOO much. I would tell people not to work over time, because I want my team to leave on time - but I was there...a lot. Leaving the studio by 11pm , working through the weekends..it wasnt an uncommon thing for me. sure , it wasnt all the time, but this stuff spans years sometimes so it went in waves. But whenever the challenges came up, i doubled down. because I super believed in it.

And the thing was - other people told me to stop. I had a lot of valid concerns given to me by my friends and team members who saw how I was burning myself out at both ends. And I thought like, well , its my *choice*. Its my chance to have a voice and be creative and try to do something different and we all have to push ourselves and yes its HARD but. THATS HOW YOU DO IT RIGHT? surely if I just make sure I’m the one overworking and my team isn't.. that's fine.

Well, no, I was immensely effecting my team maybe I wasn’t telling them to work late, but they were seeing me get more and more tired and stay later and later. I thought they would still approach me for help, or if they struggled. But the issues they had they kept to themselves without wanting to put more on my shoulders. Because they *cared* , just as much as I did ..and we all took more on our shoulders then we should have and there were a lot of things that I could have solved had I fostered a better communication environment. I became really resentful in my head over the smallest things, I actually saw myself becoming a more hateful person and easily annoyed. I came home every day rambling about the frustrations. Now, let me preface this by saying - my mental state did not only have to do with overworking. I had and have things still to unpack, but the control I had over work and the validation I got from it was a coping mechanism for me. I really didnt think i had any worth as a person outside of this job. It basically was a very nasty cycle that didnt stop until ...well I had gotten so bad I had to. By the end of the first season I was actually incredibly close to quitting . I was in big anxiety attack territory because I was so worn thin- I had started therapy but eventually moved onto getting medication as well and that was what allowed me to stick it out. ( I have the same therapist and I am on the same meds, it was very hard to do at the time, but i cant imagine my life now without making that choice ). After it was done I was immensely supported by the studio and worked part time as a trainer, which is what i requested to give my brain a break. (Only a few of my closer friends knew how bad I was getting but it was pretty obvious I needed to rest) I'm really proud of the work we did and we keep doing on the show, ..and some other people may have gone through something similar and found it was worth it, but thats not me. I still struggle not to fall back into that mindset, but it helps knowing that if i keep myself out of it , i can help my team out of it, because I know they care about this show just as much as I do. I’m not a martyr, I am a leader, and its up to me to keep myself healthy so I can keep my crew healthy. I always strive to be better, but i get to decide what that looks like - and for me ..better has nothing to do with the image on the screen. Its got more to do with the experience of the people around me. Readjusting those priorities has helped a lot with keeping my head above water and not add to the pressure that makes it so hard not to get sucked down in the first place. I do think its good to talk about though , how our passion and language and drive can lead to a lot of us being a part of this cycle. And if theres one good thing about the challenges, its sharing them so at least others can learn faster then you did ;) . take care of yourself friends.

#animation #animation industry #director talk #i still think of how many people told me to stop and how i didnt #i tell people to stop and they dont but i do understand why #thats why this shit is ingrained and its more then just words #here you go a big long animation ramble :D

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grilledcheese-savage · 16 days

Text

I just watched Jurassic world chaos theory and here’s a list of all my thoughts

Spoilers ahead

- LIMB DIFFERENCE BROOKLYN??? SHE LOOKS SO BADASS. I LOVE ALL HER NEW HAIRSTYLES. They’re so much better than the old ones (not that I didn’t like her old hair, I liked it when her roots grew in but I HATED the weird timeskip haircut at the end of cc)

- secondly, kenji getting a taste of his own medicine cause he now gets to know what it felt like to think you were betrayed by your closest friend.

- but yeah, rip kenji. That guy has been through enough. Like, if you put all his trauma in order it’s depressing. Dad abused him, manipulated him, left him on a Dino island and tried to kill all his friends. THEN he tried to make a new shady business and guilt kenji instead of just, giving him info about Brooklyn

- also Darius having a crush on Brooklyn I jokingly guessed AND WAS RIGHT

- New villain is really cool. The way she controls raptors is soooo interesting. I haven’t gotten to see any of the new Jurassic movies (I only saw Jurassic world) so idk if she’s in that one

- I really liked Mateo but I was getting flashbacks from season 2 (or was it three?) and totally thought he was gonna die. He talked too much about his daughter I totally thought he would’ve died and Darius break the news to her.

- DO THE COPS THINK THE NUBLAR SIX ARE DEAD AGAIN??? BECAUSE THEY ACCIDENTALLY (and purposely for some) FAKED THEIR OWN DEATHS WITH THE CAR AND NOT ANSWERING BRAND SHIt

- also Darius was scaring me at the beginning, he seemed really depressed. I had seen 5 seconds of spoilers by accident of him in a bathtub and kenji walking in AND I WAS CONVINCED IT WAS SOME DARK TWIST AND THE SHOW WOULD END WITH HIM killing himself! I know it’s a kids show! But I watched legend of korra… so. There.

- Also at first I was uncomfortable with the way Yaz was being characterized as traumatized the most, but I ended up loving because it felt like a Purposeful Mis characterization only for it to be turned on it’s head. Let me explain, at the beginning us as viewers are told that Yaz has been really fucked up by all the monster attacks, and had to go to therapy in Wyoming. So we as viewers get worried that she’s going to relapse her ptsd after learning they’re being hunted. But while yes, she has normal reactions to Dino’s (fear) we learn therapy actually WORKED and she wasn’t SHELTERED. She ACTUALLY LEARNED COPING SKILLS and ended up being the most well adjusted among them. It was written so well. Because now we see Sammy who we thought was doing well, have horrible coping skills and fall into an anxious attachment style because her parents don’t talk to her anymore, her girlfriend is ignoring her (avoidant attachment kinda) and all of her friends are going through their own shit on their own and don’t talk to her. She’s having panic attacks and struggling, and Yaz got to be able to pay her back for all the compassion by showing her how she handles all the fear and sadness. I FUCKING LOVED THAT. THAT WAS SO GOOD. AND I ONLY REALIZE HOW GOOD IT WAS THE MORE I SIT IN IT. I spread out my watching because if I binged I wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much.

- I also loved that they all represented different outcomes of trauma, and different coping mechanisms. Darius with the survivors guilt (again), Sammy with keeping herself busy so she doesn’t have to think about it, Ben becoming even more hyper vigillant/conspiracy theorist. Etc.

-Sammy was season mvp. She was the best character by far for me.

-She definitely needed to give Yaz her space tho, but I also hated how Yaz just assumed Sammy thought she couldn’t handle herself only because Sammy hadn’t seen her since her breakdown after the Dinos got loose. I loved watching it tho, the argument was so needed.

- I didn’t once think “there’s no way they’d act that way” because they were all characterized so well as trauma survivors.

- the only things I was like ehhh about were Kenji being a climber (since when??) and Ben having a girlfriend 😂.

- I loved that Darius was living on his own and brand was calling a ton because he was worried about him. Because Darius has only gotten MORE independent, his way of dealing with this problems is having alone time and doing things himself. I LOVE THAT AGGHHH.

- I was disappointed kenji had a new voice actor tho. He didn’t necessarily do a bad job, it was just really distracting for me.

- Not with Brooklyn though, I didn’t notice at all, I just thought Jenna Ortega was going something different now that Brooklyn is older. Her voice actor did so well. I loved all the layers I felt in all the flashbacks.

- One thing tho, I would’ve loved it if Brooklyn was actually dead (although the way they handled it made me REALLY believe she was dead, and I was pretty positive she was alive for most of the show)

- I love brooklyn!! But I do think killing one of the main characters would’ve upped the stakes more. But all of the drama and new dinos did that by itself. I felt on the edge of my seat the whole show!

- I also liked that Brooklyn and Kenji broke up. Might get some hate for that but it’s true. I never shipped it. But this show actually did make me like the ship more if that’s insane. Because I do think the dynamic of “we’re both jokingly egotistical and we bring out each other’s worst sides in a silly way”. I also think kenji needs happiness.

- And while I’m disappointed Ben has an off screen girlfriend, hopefully she shows up as a character later. Or they at least break up so he can have his bisexual king moment (go cry about it)

- I would also love mateo’s daughter becoming a character later, like her being a part of Brooklyn’s secret crew to take down the DPW etc. I don’t usually like the new characters super late in a series, but because of the way they’ve hinted at these characters, it makes me want to see them.

- I think she’d be a hacker or someone like Brooklyn just cause of what we’ve been shown of her.

- One thing I didn’t love, was not getting to see a complete wrapped up conflict. Like, kenji and Darius got better but mostly cause the action distracted them from getting to be genuinely hurt. And ESPECIALLY Sammy and Yaz’s conflict, although by Yaz helping her breathe it did kind of solve the conflict without words. But that’s just me.

- I also thought that Ben should be a lot less well adjusted. He’s had A LOT of trauma throughout the show, basically breaking his entire original archetype and replacing it with a new one. His whole character development was going from being scared and being a burden, to getting immensely used to hurting and living in the wild just to survive. When I originally thought of how he’d be out of the island, I thought he’d really struggle getting into fights to solve his problems, (like when he got into a fist fight with kenji) and being a little too wild for “civilization” (school, work etc.) and not fitting in. We also don’t really know why he’s not in college anymore. Did he graduate? Is he taking a gap year? We saw him in a dorm and it’s only been six years. Wasn’t he like, 15 at the start of the show? Well, I guess he would’ve graduated by then, but idk it depends. We actually have a lot of loose ends I want to be explored, like where is Sammy’s family? Why don’t her parents talk to her anymore? Is it cause she’s gay? I thought she had siblings?? Idk.

- tldr, I want ben to have more violent tendencies because he can’t work through his emotions. Not everyone heals in non harmful way 🤷‍♀️

- also cause I want his pyromania to come back idc if it was a facade to protect himself.

- ALSO IM SO GLAD KENJI’S DAD IS DEAD I ALMOST FORGOT

- AND ALSO IM SHOCKED THEYRE EVEN INSINUATING THAT BROOKLYN IS EVIL NOW CAUSE REMEMBER HOW PISSED SHE WAS AT KENJI FOR DOING BASICALLY THE SAME THING? DAMN, HYPOCRITICAL MUCH?

- BUT IT WOULD BE COOL IF HER MORALS ARE NOW MORE MORALLEY GREY LIKE HATING DINOS OR HURTING PEOPLE FOR THE GREATER GOOD

- LIKE NORMAN FROM THE PROMISED NEVERLAND MANGA OR ROSE QUARTZ

- THATS MY FAVE TYPE OF CHARACTER

- That’s why I liked it so much when Darius said “I don’t chase dinosaurs anymore, just one…” BECAUSE IT INSINUATED HE WANTED TO KILL A DINO WHEN HES A DINO LOVER. Him not liking Dinos as much would’ve been badass but also out of character I guess

- it also made me think of that meme from totally spies “I don’t want to kill all the world! Just half! THE MALE HALF-“

- but omg this made me realize… if his boss that he talked to during that scene was talking to Brooklyn this whole time… if brook asked how Darius was she could’ve told her about how bad he was doing and Brooklyn wouldn’t have been able to tell him at all that it wasn’t his fault.

- although… I’ll be real with u… it totally was. When we found out WHY he wasn’t there? Eyah it was his fault 😭💀. I know that’s horrible it say and if I was him I would’ve done the same (just cause it’s awkward and he wanted to give her space) BUT THAT WAS ALMOST INCEL-LIKE BEHAVIOR FROM HIM, WHAT???

- anyways I made a lot of jokes I might copy and paste in a reblog we’ll see

That’s about it for now. Thanks if you read this far.

@riftwirecrystal tag

#jwcc #jwct #jwct spoilers #jwcc ben #jwct brooklynn #jwct Ben #jwct darius #jwct sammy #jwct Yaz #jwct kenji #jurassic world #jurassic world chaos theory

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ghostofskywalker · 6 months

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hellooo! i'm really excited about your winter ficlets and wanted to request something!

what about “I don’t think either of us are qualified for this, but sure, go for it” with tech? i'm really wondering what he wouldn't be qualified for. 🤭 and i don't mind about the reader's pronouns, you can write what you're up to!

hello! this was such an interesting and fun prompt for him, i hope you enjoy my interpretation!

words: 840

summary: omega's in a bad mood, and neither you nor your boyfriend know what to do about it.

note: the mechanics of this fic rely on the idea that when they're on Ord Mantell, the batch rent an apartment so that they're not on the ship all the time.

Not Qualified

clone troopers masterlist || request a winter ficlet

The sound of Omega’s door slamming shut echoed throughout the tiny apartment, and you could have sworn you heard some of the plates in the cabinet rattle. Not sure what to do, you looked at Tech. “Any idea what that’s about?”

Looking as confused as you felt, he shook his head. “I understand that Omega may be worried that Hunter, Wrecker, and Echo haven’t returned by now, but this behavior is far from normal for her.”

“Do you want to check on her and make sure everything is okay?”

He looked at you like you had just suggested that he wrestle a gundark with his bare hands. “What?”

“Someone should check on Omega,” you said, a confused look on your face. “She clearly needs to talk to someone right now.”

“What about you?”

Your eyes widened. “I don’t know how qualified I am for something like this. Usually bounty hunters can just kill their problems, and that’s definitely not what needs to happen here. Besides, you’re her brother.”

“Look, I don’t think either of us are qualified for this,” Tech said. “But we should still go for it.”

As you looked at his face, you could see a glimpse of something in his eyes that you didn’t quite recognize at first, until it came to you. Tech was nervous. It made sense of course, because Hunter, Wrecker, and Echo had embraced their newfound role of “big brother” a little easier than he did, because he had always been a little bit less social than the rest of the crew. Hells, it had taken you what felt like forever to finally get him to realize that you liked him, and the relationship you had with him was still just barely out of the friend zone. You knew it had to be nerve-wracking right now, to be the only one of his brothers here and having a issue that can’t necessarily be solved with cold hard facts, and you reached out to take his hand. “Come on, let’s go together.”

A gruff “come in” sounded through the door moments after you knocked, and the door opened to reveal Omega laying face down on her bed, with the plush Aiwha you had gotten for her at a market laying haphazardly on the floor (which was likely launched into the air from the momentum of her throwing herself on the bed).

You were definitely not prepared for this, but it would be much worse to just turn around and leave, so you took a few steps into the room. “I can tell that something is bothering you honey,” you said gently. “Do you want to talk about it? It may make you feel better.”

She pulled her body upwards off the bed, and you could see the way her eyes shined with tears. “When is everyone else going to come back?” she asked, and your heart broke.

Growing up where she did and being watched over exclusively by Kaminoans clearly affected her, and now that she had found something of a family it had to be hard to watch some of them leave. Even if it was simply for a mission, part of the team leaving meant that she still had to spend more time without the people she cared so deeply about. “I don’t know,” you admitted softly. “But they won’t be gone forever, I know that.”

Tech looked like he was going to open his mouth to say something, but you shot him a quick glare. Yes, you knew that every mission meant the chance of serious injury or death, and Omega probably knew that too, but technicalities were not what she needed to hear right now.

Thankfully, he seemed to get the message. “Yes, Hunter, Echo, and Wrecker will be back as soon as they can,” Tech said, and you watched as Omega ran over to him. He definitely looked a little shocked as his sister threw her arms around him, and you could see the way he looked to you for help. You mimed wrapping your arms around something to give him a little hint of what to do in this moment, and he nodded quickly.

You watched as Tech followed your hint, and you could see Omega’s tears start to stop. You knew that her heartbreak wasn’t something that could be fixed right away (or maybe at all), but with some time (and maybe a little bit of ice cream), you might be able to help make this a little less difficult for her.

It was impossible to ignore the smile that crept over your face at the sight of Omega clutching onto Tech like he was going to disappear, simply because he looked really surprised when it first happened. You had a feeling though, that he would be settling into his newfound role as big brother a little easier from now on.

And maybe, later you would get to gleefully inform him that he was wrong about neither of you being qualified to help in this particular situation.

- the end -

i no longer have a taglist! if you're interested in being notified when i post, you can follow my library blog @ghostofskywalker-library and turn on notifications!

#winterficlets23 #tbb tech #tbb tech x reader #tbb tech x you #tbb tech x gender neutral reader #tech x reader #tech x you #the bad batch x reader #star wars x reader #clone trooper x reader

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blade-that-was-broken · 7 days

Text

This doesn't happen anymore but idk I spent so much time trying to find it in my papers that I have to toss it into the internet void

The moment Spruce raced past John’s gesture for a hug, Branch saw his confusion and hurt. JD glanced around, like he thought maybe he got the wrong troll - despite them being the only ones there - but then he saw Spruce go to Branch for a hug and ignore him. He could see JD’s heart break.

JD loved hugs more than anyone really knew. He struggled a little with too much at once - which Branch knew he loathed - but he tried not to let that stop him.

Branch managed to jump back, sliding out of Spruce’s reach. “Whoa!” he just grinned. “Look at you! Someone’s got some crazy reflexes! Come on, let me give you a hug! I haven’t seen you in years!”

“And whose fault is that?” he asked, flatly.

Spruce stumbled. “Branch…”

“I’m not here to fight. It’s not about me. I’m here to ask for your help.”

“For what?”

“The perfect family harmony-”

Spruce rolled his eyes then turned to glare at JD who was busy checking out one of the pools, curiously. He tipped his toe in and that jumped back a little, like he felt or saw something he wasn’t expecting. Spruce was glaring. “Did he put you up to this? He really needs to let it go.”

“JD has nothing to do with it-”

“Look Bitty. I’m happy to see you but him?”

“It’s been twenty years. You’re still mad?”

“It’s not like he apologized.”

“Are you sure we are in the right place, kiddo?” JD asked, looking back at him, his head tilting a little. As much as JD had seen so many photos, they had all changed in the last twenty years. Spruce was no exception. Clay and Floyd wouldn’t be either. Without that connection of actually remembering them physically, it made it a bit more difficult for JD to identify those people from his past.

He was probably missing most of the conversation. They had already talked a bit about it, that Branch should do the explaining. Although JD had a habit of making friends with people, there was a history here and their family held grudges. But then again, JD had lately been letting Branch do a lot of the leading lately. It turned out fine, most of the time, although Branch couldn’t help but be worried about the implications. Maybe he was overthinking it, which was entirely possible too.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Spruce demanded, stepping forward. “Is this a crack about my weight?”

JD looked absolutely bewildered but finally took a moment to actually look at Spruce a little closer. JD shifted a little, as he often did when it came to people approaching him when upset. Some kind of mechanism, Branch learned, from living out in the wild. It wasn’t something he could really entirely shake. Not that he had tried to much anyway. He was very confused and Branch knew the feeling. “What? Why would I care about some dude’s weight? Each the nachos, man. You run a restaurant.”

“What?” That seemed to make Spruce even more upset. “Some dude?”

JD skipped back over to Spruce and looked at him curiously again, but he stuck close to Branch. Another normal thing. The two of them physically kept together when on adventures and other things. Safer that way. It was normal now. “This is one of them right?”

“Excuse me? You’re acting like you have never met me in your life!” Spruce yelled.

“Not that I can remember,” JD chuckled, nervously. He was trying to play off his discomfort with humor. Just more normal JD things. Branch supposed they had always been normal to him but did Spruce know that? Did he remember some of those things from their childhood?

“Just because I changed? That is so shallow and I never thought… How have you gotten worse?!”

“Whoa, dude, chill! Don’t take it personally. I just-”

“Don’t take it personally? How could I not?”

“Spruce-”

“It’s Bruce now. And I think it’s time you leave. Obviously the Great John Dory has just become a worse person and I don’t need that. I’ve got a good life with a wife and family! Something you clearly do not have.”

“SHUT UP!” Branch yelled.

They looked over at him.

“Would you give it a rest and let us explain?”

“What is there to explain?” Spruce sneered. “John Dory is here, making fun of me, trying to make me do a family harmony after twenty years of no contact, topping it off with pretending he doesn’t even know me.”

“He’s not pretending!” Branch shouted, exasperated.

“What?”

“He’s not pretending. JD doesn’t remember the first twenty years of his life.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“When I was about six, JD stumbled into Pop Village with only the memories of the last couple years. He didn’t know who I was or knew my name.”

“It totally freaked him out,” JD nodded.

“I mean, we are kind of freaking out Spruce here.”

“Yeah. It gets crazier!” JD added.

“It what?!”

“Yeah. The King was all like sweet, you can take care of him and I-”

“Where was Gramma?”

“Asked where was his parents and B was just like dead.”

“A long time ago.,” Branch frowned. It took a long time to work through that.

“Yeah. Anyways, I asked B who raised him and he said-”

“You,” Branch snorted.

JD grinned like it was an inside joke. It kind of was. Their entire reunion had kind of become an inside joke for the both of them. Although it started rocky, things swung into humor pretty quickly. JD never held what Branch said or acted against him. Part of it was probably because he was young and part of it was simply because JD could find things to laugh at. And it was kind of funny. “And then I was just like ok lets do it.”

“Let’s… do it?”

“Yeah. Been taking care of this little daredevil ever since.”

“Daredevil?”

“It took us a bit to build his confidence but he can keep up with me easy.”

“Better, old man.”

“Eh… maybe debatable but you're probably not wrong!”

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albywritesfiction · 8 months

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The last anon ask made me curious, will we be able to choose our starting relationship with Ærik (aquaintances, Friends, bbf etc)? Or will be good on default? And more on the game's mechanic side, will there be other characters's POV, and there will be some flashbacks? (I really like your story concept! ❤️)

Hello Anon!

Thank you for liking the concept! I honestly didn’t expect that a lot of people would be into it, so I’m always glad to hear/read that people like it 😊

Yep, as of now, there will be a few scenes from another character’s POV. Haven’t really gotten that far ahead in writing to see if I’ll have some flashbacks, but there may be a few.

As for MC and Ædric’s relationship at the beginning of ATE, it’s set to already be pretty good after spending so much time together.

Long explanation ahead for Ædric and MC’s relationship 😅

(And spoilers? At this point, I think you guys already have a good idea of how Ædric feels about MC 😅 Y'all pretty much already know how Ædric feels at this point because of me being overly excited to talk about ATE, so I guess it's just spoilers for anyone who hasn't witnessed me failing to keep my mouth shut 😅)

To give more context:

They met shortly after MC and Ædan had their first meeting

Since MC and Ædric are closer in age compared to MC and Ædan and the content of Ædric’s classes are mostly similar to that of MC’s classes (just a bit more advanced), it was decided that they would just have their classes together (and nothing brings people together like suffering through a reading 11 pages long or a vague word problem that gives you a lot of info but not the stuff you need to solve it 😂)

However, little MC’s adoration for Ædan, the awesome and handsome crown prince, was like a shadow that hung over them. As soon as they were done working on their assignments, smol MC would wonder out loud about where Ædan was, what he was doing, if there were any flowers in the garden he liked, things like that. Even though it irked little Ædric (especially little Ædric who started to get flustered whenever MC was near), he never got mad at MC because he would rather listen to them ramble about how pretty Ædan’s eyes were than to waste the time that MC was spending with him by having an argument over his brother.

Ædric may have developed feelings for MC, but he never went beyond dropping some smooth lines because he knew about how love-stricken MC was for his brother. He and Ædan may have had their own problems going on, but he always saw Ædan treat MC well, so he decided that he would be content to watch MC smile from afar, as long as MC was smiling. (Of course, this was before the entire mess Ædan and Helene made)

Romantic feelings aside, Ædric considers MC a good friend whose thoughts and opinions he greatly values, though MC doesn’t quite return the same degree of deep friendship since they’ve mostly been focused on Ædan. And most of the time Ædric doesn’t share much about himself; he’d much rather ask MC how their day has been and listen to a full account of every single thing they did all the way down to the little details, like how gently the wind was blowing as they took a walk around the plaza, things like that (Ædric and I are quite similar in this sense 😄).

#after the end #ate-if #ate-if asks #ate: ædric

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buglord-isaac · 1 year

Text

Parallel Play: Ghost and König

König wasn’t the best at socialising. He had never really gotten the chance to improve his social skills. He had gone from being isolated and bullied in his early life to being isolated and denied what he wanted to do in his military life. He was ridiculed for hiding, he was ridiculed for being big. He was called a ‘mountain’. ‘Psychopath’. ‘Scary‘.

He had grown used to the feeling of being alone so much that he no longer knew how to talk to people. He knew more how to talk to himself. He was horrible in conversations. He had no military ‘bros’ that he could chat to. Talking in a group was a chore that left him tired and defeated.

This was until he met Ghost. Well, he didn’t really meet Ghost. They passed each other, they trained a few times, they barely spoke. Ghost seemed to be the closest kind of person to König that he had ever found. He, like himself, would stand away from a crowd and listen, only speaking when he needed to.

In the base, both of them seemed to have found the same special quiet place. A place were the rest of the soldiers seldom went, and if they went they were quiet. This place was the Chapel.

König wasn’t a religious man, and Ghost didn’t seem to pray or talk to any gods. It was just a place of peace for them. Ghost would sit there sharpening his weapons or inspecting clothing, seemingly as a calming method. König would do the same. Sometimes they’d look over to watch what the other was doing from afar. They never spoke.

One day, when König was reading a book about weapons, in a chapter on sniper mechanics - his hyperfixation - Ghost came and sat on the floor right in front of him. König looked up from his book and closed it, keeping one of his fingers in as a bookmark.

“You heard of something called ‘parallel play’?”

“Nein. I haven’t.”

“The others talk too much, and you seem rather lonely. ‘Parallel play’ is where two people do different things in each other’s presence. It’s like… socialising without socialising. I find it comforting.”

König had no clue why Ghost was suddenly talking so much to him. Maybe his silence had earned the man’s respect. Or pity…

“So you’re suggesting we do this- parallel play?”

Ghost nodded, shuffled backwards, and pulled out one of his knives. König watched awkwardly as Ghost focussed on methodically sharpening, polishing, and inspecting each of his knives. He recognised the kind of knife from his book, so flicked to the page.

“The adoption of combat daggers made of iron was a significant milestone in combat knife development… the British Fairbairn-Sykes fighting knife… not the kind you have… was designed by two former members of the Shanghai Municipal Police who trained many soldiers in close-quarters fighting… The Combat Knife has two modes of attack: the simple slash, which can be done quite rapidly, and a lunge, a longer-ranged option that has a much slower recovery than the slash… you seem to be good at throwing th-“

He realised that he’d been rambling and shut his mouth quickly. He looked down at Ghost, who was looking up at him with full attention and focus.

“You can continue. Knives are my special interest. Hearing someone else explain them is… refreshing almost…”

König blinked. He swallowed. He didn’t want to talk anymore. His ramble had exhausted his social battery completely. Ghost stood up and sat on the bench beside him.

“This book is in German… you were translating all of that?”

König nodded. “Yes sir…”

“You impress me, König. We should talk more.”

Under his mask, König smiled. He’d made a friend, and out of everyone it could’ve been, it was Ghost.

(The information I got was from various wikis, incl. CoD wiki and combat knife wiki)

#cod mw2 #ghost call of duty #ghost fanfiction #cod modern warfare #call of duty #könig call of duty #autistic ghost #parallel play #platonic #ghostkonig

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collectmytears · 2 years

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A LETTER FROM DANIEL

via the mclaren racing website

Dear Papaya Army,

Firstly, I want to start by saying thank you. Joining McLaren was a big deal for me, a team rich in history with a fantastic fanbase, and you embraced me from day one. Signing on the dotted line for this team and climbing into the car for the first time were proud moments, and I'll always carry that with me.

I also want to thank you because above anything I'm a sports fan, and I know how it feels to ride with someone through adversity and struggle. I know what it is like to support and cheer for someone when it isn't going well, it ruins your Sunday. Through all of that, I've still felt an overwhelming amount of support from you all. You've remained super loyal, and I want to say thank you for that. It would have been easy to jump off the bandwagon, but you've been pretty much unconditional all year. Don't ever underestimate the impact of your support, I certainly haven’t ever taken it for granted.

We'll always have Monza. The win in Monza was a fairy tale, but what's so great about that day is that it wasn't a selfish fairy tale, it wasn't just me, it was the whole team, with Lando getting second and us having the fastest pit-stop. It was the perfect weekend, and that made up for a lot of the more difficult ones because we were rewarded with the highest of highs.

Off the track, it's been a lot of fun and I want to say thank you to the team. When you've been racing with a team, you're connected for life. Sure, you switch teams, you move on, you change, but those connections you make are forever, whether it be with the mechanics, the engineers or any other team members I've worked with. These people have poured everything in over this two-year period, and I won't ever lose the connections I've made here. There is a part of McLaren that I'll always hold close to me. Even with the results this year, we lay that to rest, it is what is, and we move forward. The personal side is that I have a lot of fond memories at McLaren.

I've really enjoyed my time with Lando, not only as teammates but as people and friends, we've had some great times together, and that friendship has blossomed. There's been a lot of great moments between us both on and off camera, and I'm sure you'll all have your own favourite. It started with us banging some drums together and making terrible music, and along the way, we've stuck some rubbish tattoos on each other and were let loose with space hoppers, although Lando might not have loved that so much!! We've had a lot of laughs, we've driven some fast and exciting road cars together and giggled our way through it all.

Finally, I am excited for the future because I feel like I have dealt with the highs and lows from my time here and come out of it. On a personal level, it has not been 'all good, all ways', it has tested my resilience, but I have gotten through it, and now I'm excited to see how I take on challenges moving forwards. All of the tests that I have encountered here and everything that I've learned will only help me.

As much as I'd have loved to have won every race, I am grateful for these experiences. My journey with McLaren may be coming to end, but we’re connected for life now.

Alrighty, back to racing. Time for one last ride, let's do everything we can to finish on a high.

No regrets, just memories.

Daniel.

#cheers dan #daniel ricciardo #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #formula1 #abu dhabi gp 2022

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bullet-prooflove · 7 months

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MyGirl!Series Part Two: Helpless: Remy Scott x Reader

Tagging: @crazy4chickennuggets @kmc1989 @oureternalbond @whateversomethingbruh @@a-noni-love

Companion piece to Marks & Too Much, Too Soon

It’s bad, really bad. Remy realises that the moment he sees Jubal pacing up and down the length of the waiting room, twanging the hair elastic on his wrist like the damn things a lifeline. He knows your A.S.A.C has had issues with alcohol in the past, that he uses this technique as coping mechanism and right now it’s a glaring red flag that something has gone terribly wrong.

“Jubal.” He snaps, his voice rough as he steps over the threshold. “What are we doing here?”

“I’m sorry.” Jubal says, rubbing his palm over the back of his neck as he turns his attention to Remy. “I didn’t realise the two of you were together. If I had I would have called right away.”

“We’ve been seeing each other a couple of months.” Remy tells Jubal crossing his arms over his chest. “We were supposed to be having dinner tonight, but she didn’t show and now I know why.”

“Has she told you anything about the case she’s been working on?” Jubal asks quietly as he guides Remy towards a secluded set of seating in the corner of the room.

Remy shakes his head as he sits down.

“I’ve been in Arkansas for most of the week chasing down a fugitive.” He tells Jubal. “We haven’t really been able to connect.”

What he doesn’t say is that the two of you hooked up last night. That he’d called you when he’d gotten in from Arkansas and you had shown up dressed in that pretty little lace thing that he liked. He’d spent the night showing you exactly how much he missed you before you’d disappeared from his bed this morning. There had been no talking involved, at least not about cases.

“We’ve been looking into a religious group out in Long Island, we suspected them of trafficking women. Ani was able to go undercover and make contact with the founder. He took a liking to her; we just didn’t realise how much of a liking until things took a turn.” Jubal snaps the elastic band against his wrist.

Remy can tell he’s reliving the experience, that on some level Jubal feels responsible for what happened. Remy doesn’t begrudge him that, he knows how quickly things can turn in the field, how something you thought was one thing can quickly become another.

“She was assaulted.” Jubal tells him, his lips pursing together grimly. “He slipped a roofie into her tea. We managed to get there before it went too far but it was close…”

The air rushes out of Remy’s lungs and for a second it feels like the floor caves in because the thought of you in that position…

So fucking helpless, unable to move or comprehend what’s happening to you. Christ it makes him want to murder the man who did it.

“He didn’t…”

He can’t bring himself to say the words, but Jubal catches his drift.

“No.” Jubal says, his hands clasped in front of him. “There was some unwanted touching, but it didn’t get much further. We were on the scene within minutes.”

Unwanted touching, he knows what that means. He’s just grateful your team got there before it managed to progress otherwise they’d be clearing the fucker’s brains off the walls of his cell.

“They’re keeping her overnight because of the Rohypnol.” Jubal tells him, his finger toying with the elastic band on his wrist. “They said that she should be released sometime tomorrow.”

“Can I see her?” Remy asks the other man, his palms running over one another. “I just need to see for myself that she’s ok.”

“She’s in Room 208.” Jubal tells him, tilting his head to the corridor nearby. “The Doc said she may be in and out for a while.”

Remy nods his understanding before raising to his feet. His hand comes to clasp Jubal’s shoulder, squeezing it gently.

“She wouldn’t want you to blame yourself for this.” He tells the other man.

Jubal shakes his head.

“I should have seen it.” Jubal says bitterly.

“This isn’t on you; it isn’t on anyone except the bastard who hurt her.” Remy says fiercely. “She’s safe and you caught him, that’s the important thing.”

“Yea.” Jubal says, running his hand through his hair. “Yea, I know you’re right.”

Love Remy? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Interested in supporting me? Join my Patreon for Bonus Content!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

#remy scott #remy scott x reader #remy scott x you #fbi most wanted

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tboybuck · 1 year

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wip wednesday snippet from ch2 of greatest hits

ch2 coming to ao3 this upcoming saturday

“Hey,” Steve says. He’s laying on his side, facing Eddie, his cheek smushed against the pillow as he looks at him. Eddie looks back, feeling a little like he’s drowning; Steve’s face is in shadow, his hair haloed by the lamplight behind him. “On a scale of one to ten, how weird was it?”

Eddie sighs. So they’re really doing this. Talking about it.

“I dunno, man, it was…” Thrilling. Humiliating. Insanely hot.

“Kinda hot, right?”

Hold on. Kinda what?

“Steve -”

“You were into it.”

“Are you making fun of me right now?”

“No,” Steve says with a laugh. “C’mon, man. You were into it. I was into it. It’s only gay if you make it gay.”

“Yeah, I think me being gay kinda makes it gay, Harrington.”

There. He said it. It’s out there now.

“Oh,” Steve breathes.

“Yeah. Oh.”

“I mean. You know I don’t - you know I’m totally cool with that. Because, like. Robin.”

“This is a little different.”

“Sure, but…” Steve isn’t looking at him. “Not necessarily in a bad way.”

“Listen, I can go sleep downstairs. If you want, like, some space or whatever.”

“Don’t be stupid. I told you. It doesn’t matter.”

“Not even after…?”

Steve smiles. He finally looks up at Eddie, turning over onto his back and curling an arm behind his head to see him better.

“Nah. Makes more sense now, though. Why you were so into it.”

“Now you are making fun of me.”

“I’m not, I swear.” Steve smiles at him again, but this time the energy behind it is different. It makes Eddie’s heart race, makes him want to run. “We could always… do it again.”

They shouldn’t. Eddie really should put a stop to this, if for no other reason than to save his own fucking sanity. He half lost his mind the last time, and this time, if they do it again, it will be with the knowledge that Eddie is doing it because he likes it. There’s no way this is normal, just something that guys do.

Eddie remembers, vaguely, the time he and Gareth found Gareth’s dad’s stash of Playboys; it’s been years ago now, when they were still in middle school. They’d been just a couple of boys in the throes of puberty and Eddie had still been trying to parse out exactly who he was. That had never progressed any further than uncomfortable giggles about boobs and bush.

That had been nothing like this.

“This is a terrible idea.”

Eddie doesn’t put a stop to it. He doesn't say no. He doesn’t tell Steve, I don’t want to be your experiment, because it’s a lie. He doesn’t say, I won’t be able to keep this platonic, because it’s true.

Steve reaches behind himself to click off the lamp, and they are plunged into darkness.

Eddie can’t help but think he would be taking advantage of Steve if he gives in to this. Steve should think about it, he should examine why he enjoys masturbating with other guys. They shouldn’t do this, not when Eddie has more skin in the game than Steve does. The mattress moves a little as Steve shifts on the bed. It’s so fucking quiet in here Eddie wonders if Steve can hear the way his heart is pounding, the way his breathing has quickened.

“Eddie?”

“Hmm?”

“What’s it like?”

“What’s… what, like?”

Hesitation for a moment, and then, “Guys. Y’know… sex…”

Eddie scoffs, rolling his eyes at himself in the darkness. “I wouldn’t know. I, uh, I haven’t actually gotten the chance.”

It’s silent for a while, and Eddie is just beginning to think maybe Steve won’t try and goad him into this.

“Well, how would it, uh…” Steve trails off here, like he’s unsure of what he’s trying to ask.

Eddie puts on his most teasing, suggestive tone and asks, “Do you want me to explain the mechanics of gay sex to you, Harrington? Should I go into detail?”

“Oh, Jesus Christ.” It comes out a little muffled, like Steve’s got his face covered. Eddie laughs a little. It’s nice hearing him squirm. Feels kinda... powerful. “How did you learn if you’ve never done it?”

“Books, skin mags. The ancient Greeks did it all the time, apparently. They fucked so much there’s like, paintings on pottery and shit.”

“No shit?”

“No shit. The how is common sense if you think about it. Straight people do butt stuff all the time.”

“Oh, my god,” Steve says. He sounds flustered.

“You asked!”

tag list: @delta-piscium @matchingbatbites @rugbertgoeshome @outpastthebrakers @helixferrano

#wip wednesday #bee's blurbs #steddie #fic #greatest hits

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pedros-admirer · 1 year

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Boonta Eve With Din Djarin

Pairing: Din Djarin (Aka Mando) x Fem!Reader Summary: You and Din just got back from a mission and needed to get the razor crest fixed up before you head out again, yet while your waiting it seems like Boonta Eve is about to start here in Tatooine, and it might be the perfect time to confess something…

Tags: Use of Y/n, Mutual Pinning, and fluff! <3

Side Note: Yes I know Boonta Eve was showed in Chapter 18: The Mines Of Mandalore which is where Din is flying his N-1 Starfighter but I put in the razor crest instead since it has more room area wise!

You and Din have been travelling together for a good six months taking on bounty’s together, and each time you’re around him you’ve started to grow stronger feeling’s time after time. You never knew if he has ever felt the same way with you, but you have been seeing some minor differences in him with being around you lately

But you both just got back from another mission and the razor crest is a bit bashed up, so Din decided to make a stop at Peli’s to get it fixed up

You were fully asleep in the chair behind him from exhaustion from your most recent mission, but you then felt the razor crest touch ground and heard the door to the ship open which made you to finally wake up

As you then started to wake up you realized that Din had put his blanket on top of you ever so slowly you got up you to realize that he tucked it in around you also. The ship was quite cold since the mission you guy’s went on earlier was held on Tokmia, yet still you were a bit bewildered that he even tucked it around you since he dosen’t really do a lot of those little intimate gestures for you. Yet you still know he does and he may be shy to say it just yet but you don’t want to skip to any fantasies about him feeling the same cause he may not at all in the end

After you got up still pondering about what he did for you, you started to quietly making your way towards the threshold. You’ve stopped at Peli’s multiple time’s yet you’ve always been busy with something and you haven’t gotten the chance to meet her yet

“What’s the problem now Mando?” You heard her say as you came closer to the threshold

“Well we were at Tokmia and a-“ Din said as he was completely cutoff by Peli

“OoOoo, who’s this Mando?! Is this the girl you’ve been talking about?” Peli said in quite a low tone, as she tapped his shoulder covered in armour to look over to see you

“PELI!” He whispered to Peli quietly yet in a stern voice

“But yes, that’s the girl I’ve been talking about but I still don’t know if she feels the same way as I do yet so just don’t mention ANYTHING.” Din said as he pointed in her face

“Jeez, okay I got it!” She said as she had her eyes wide with her eyebrows raised

But you heard what Din was going on about to her for the entire time you were there, you hardly could contain the emotions that had just totally flushed over you knowing that he may feel the same, but just in case if you heard it wrong you decided to think that MAYBE, he feel’s the same. Yet as you were walking down to them you decided to pretend you didn’t hear anything that just came out from Din’s mouth

“Hello there! I’m Y/n, it’s nice to meet you! Peli, right?” You said as you stepped around from behind Din

“That’s sure right, best mechanic in the galaxy you could say!” As Peli spun a wrench around her pointer finger

“Anyways, what did you need fixed up on this hunk of junk again?”

“It’s not a piece of junk. Well not entirely, but it’s not running so good and both of the headlights are busted and maybe a few other things, it was quite a rough escape.” Din said as he was fitting his gloves on his wrist’s better

“Alright I’ll get the droid’s to check it out a bit more. And let me get this little guy some food, isn’t that right cutie!” As she talked in a little voice reaching out to Grogu while tickling his little tummy

“Well it’s gonna take awhile so go rest or visit the shops or something, I’ll tell you when it’s ready!” Peli said as she walked away to go grab some food for Grogu

You than looked up to Din beside you as your eyes met his tinted visor

“Doooo you maybe want to go check out the stands? Last time I was here there was a really cool jewelry stand I saw maybe we could get something matching with me, you, and Grogu!” You said with a smile

“I don’t think so, jewelry isn’t really my thing. Plus I bet most of the jewelry won’t look that good on me especially with me a person who’s a bounty hunter that goes around and basically kill’s people.”

“DIN, DON’T SAY THAT!” You said as turned in front of him as you swatted the back of your hand on his chest plate of beskar

“OW DAMN IT I FOGOT HOW HARD THAT STUFF IS!” You let out a whine while laughing with being on the verge of tear’s crouching down holding your hand close to your chest

As you were looking the opposite direction from Din you heard a slight chuckle of him trying not to burst out laughing

You then stood up and spun to him quickly

“I HEARD THAT YOU KNOW!” Trying to make him laugh more since you’ve barely ever heard him laugh in front of you, and it warmed your heart hearing it every single time knowing that he was at least a bit off guard and being a little more like himself, not a random person under some beskar armour

“Whoa sorry that my beskar is too tough for you to handle.” He said as he brushed his gloved hands on his chest plate followed by putting his hands on his hips with his head held high

To be honest it’s quite tough to see Din joke around like that but this was the first time you ever heard him really say one, unlike you on the other hand, but it’s especially tough to hear him joke around or be himself since he’s always on guard for something to happen. Someday you hope to see the actual Din Djarin not just a bit of him but the actual Din himself

“No way, this just in Din Djarin made his first actual joke I’ve ever heard!” You said dramatically while making exaggerated hand movements trying to also hide your face from seeing how red your cheeks were from him

“Oh shut up Y/n.” Din said as he let out a chuckle while going to sit down

It’s now been over an hour you two have been talking while Peli and the droid’s were working on the ship. But all of a sudden you started to hear fireworks and cheering from a distance

“Wait, Oh my god it’s Boonta Eve how could I forget!” As you got up quickly from sitting down beside Din

“C’mon follow me quickly!” You said as you started to head to a spot that has a perfect view of the fireworks since you used to see them when you were a kid

“Wait what where are you going Y/n!?” Din said as he got up to follow you out of Peli’s workshop

Din was trying his hardest to get through the crowd as fast as he could to try and keep up with you

“Y/N WHERE ARE YOU GOING!” Din said as he was slightly catching up to you

“Din get up here!” You waved your at arm him telling him to come closer as you got onto a ladder that was leaning on the side of a local cantina with stands around it

After you got up onto the building Din finally caught up to you as you then grabbed Din’s hand to help him up onto the flat rooftop that overlooked directly at the fireworks

“Y/n what are you doing?!” Din said as he looked at you restlessly through his visor while trying to catch his breath

“Here just come and sit down!” You said as you sat down patting the ground beside you

Din then sat right next to you while looking at you in awe with how the firework’s lit your face and with how they shined in your eyes while Din sat close to you on purpose so the both of your legs and shoulders touched together, which made Din struggle with trying to keep his composure in from feeling your skin against his

“Look!” You said as you pointed your finger over towards the fireworks

“Wow, jeez thank you I really needed to see this.” Din said as he looked at you as you could just imagine the smile on his face like a little boy under his helmet

“And uh, I’ve been wanting to ask you something for quite a long time now…. A-and it’s fine if you don’t feel the same but…” Din said as he rubbed the nape of his neck while his hands started to slightly tremble

“N-Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum ner bid much cyar'ika Y/n.” As he slightly turned towards you followed by putting his gloved hand on the side of your cheek caressing it with his light touch

Din has taught you slight bit’s of Mando’a from your trip’s together while collecting bounty’s, yet every single word he said to you completely made sense

“Oh Din, I have felt the same way ever since we met and laid eyes on each other. It’s just I never got the chance to say it, but now I finally can.” You said as you grabbed his hand to stop it from shaking while a sudden tear started to fall from your eye while following with your quivering lips tipping up to a smile while trying not to burst out crying knowing the man that you’ve loved forever felt the same way about you

Din then pulled his hands slowly away from your grasp and up to his helmet of beskar down to the unlocking mechanism before you could say anything

“Wait Din!” You quickly placed your hands over his trying to keep his helmet down “Please don’t do it just for me Din it’s against the creed, and I know how much it means to you and I wouldn’t want to ever wreck it for you.”

“I’ve already broke the creed for Grogu and why wouldn’t I do it again for you, you’re the most special thing that has ever happened to my life.” He then grabbed your hands again keeping them tight in his grip “I care for you way more than the creed will ever mean to me, and I don’t want to waste it with me having to just look at you through my visor for the rest of my life.” He said as he slowly lifted up his helmet with your hands still over his as he did so

He then lifted the helmet completely off and placed it down carefully in his lap as his shiny topaz eyes laid their gaze on yours for the first time clearly. It took you quite awhile to realize and process that this was actually happening and that all of this was actually real, not a dream but real. You were finally looking at the man that you’ve loved for so long without his helmet.

“Do I really look that bad?” Din said as he scoffed with a soft smile that you could look at for hours at a time and never get tired of it

You were left completely speechless, you than struggled to roll words off your tongue and put together words from how beautiful and gorgeous he looked

“O-Of course not why would you say that Din! I’m sorry it’s just I can’t even start to describe how beautiful you are Din, if I could look at that face of yours every second of the day I would sit there for hours at a time looking at you.” You said in awe as you took every minor detail you could possibly lookout for, you then reached your hands out to hold that precious face of his with a smile that melted him in seconds especially with how your eyes looked without his visor

You then quickly noticed that Din was starting to get a bit emotional and teary eyed since no one has really ever shown him that sort of affection before, even if he tried to remember he still couldn’t think of the last time he has received it from another human

As your hand laid softly on the side of his face a tear fell slowly from his eye with a smile you could see from miles away

“Awh Dinnn, don’t make me cry now!” You spoke as you wiped the tear off his face with your thumb, yet you didn’t notice but you were slightly moving closer to him but as you noticed Din noticed as well he then and got the hint as he didn’t even waste a second to jump at the chance

Without thought his hands were already completely grasping the back of your neck and the side of your face. He lightly pressed his chapped yet soft feather like lips against yours, still a bit tense since he has never kissed another person before but after a few seconds he started to get more comfortable and got the hang of it. You both didn’t break away until you both needed to catch your breath while your hands were both gently still holding on

He then got caught into a trance with your glistening eyes with the colour’s from the fireworks going off above you both as he was still trying to catch his breath from what just happened

“I-I’m sorry, I went to far didn’t I? Damn it! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to go that far I know I shouldn’t have done all of that.” You said as your hands started to shake pulling away from his face scared that you’ve just ruined it all and you would probably never get to be in his presence again

He then snapped out of it realizing that he was staring at you without saying a word to you. He quickly grabbed both of your hands cradling them gently in his own

“No, no, no not at all! I’m sorry I was at a loss of word’s and was just too focused on how beautiful you are when I’m looking at you without my helmet on and the feeling of your skin against mine, and realizing that all of that just really happened and I’m not dreaming.” He quickly said as he scoffed, as he then pressed a kiss to your cheek making your face flush a vibrant red as you reached for him to try and steal another kiss from him as he pulled you close to him

Yet you both didn’t know that the razor crest has finally been finished and Peli has been looking around for you two for hours now

Suddenly you both heard a loud whistle as Din whipped his head around while still grasping you almost making whoever that is see his face

“Look at you two,”

You recognized that voice very vaguely, it was Peli. You knew Din only wanted to show you his face and you wanted to make sure to keep it that way since it still was against the creed for him to reveal his face to anyone. Yet even tough he has already broken it twice now, you still wanted to be the only one to have seen his face along with Grogu. So you acted quickly as you grabbed Din’s back and pulled him more onto you while shielding his face. Yet you pulled him against you so hard you made the both of you fall on the ground as he was on top of you as he grunted on impact, yet he held his arms to the side to make sure he didn’t hurt you by falling on you completely

“I’ve been trying to find both of you for hours! By the way the razor crest is finished…” Peli said as you tilted your head towards her direction

There was a bit of a pause to Peli as she saw where you and Din were positioned

“Wow, that was um never mind, I won’t interrupt you two with what you two are doing any longer, just finish up soon you two!” Peli yelled as the crowd looked up to you both

You then felt Din’s warm breath against your neck in a bit of a laughing matter, you then turned your head back to look up at him as you stared to laugh with him yet in adoration of seeing his face scrunch up with his eyes closed as he laughed

After awhile of laughing between you two Din put his helmet back on and got back on his feet reaching his hand for yours to take

“Why thank you sir, you’re such a gentleman.” You said as you stood back up pressing a kiss on Din’s helmet before lacing hands and walking back to Peli’s

After some walking you then got back to the workshop, You started to walk back up to the razor crest with Din following not to far behind

“Hey, make sure you take care of her I can tell she’s a keeper.” Peli said as she grabbed his shoulder before he caught up to you

Din then looked back over to you for a glance as he nodded back to Peli

“Come on Din! Don’t keep me and Grogu waiting love!” You said loudly making his cheeks flush instantly oh how he was thankful for that helmet sometimes

Peli then looked at Din with her eyebrows raised

“Go on, don’t keep her waiting!” Peli said as she pushed him away

He then got on the ship as you were waiting for him in the passenger seat with Grogu on your lap, specifically he playing with that little ball that Din had given him

“So, where are we going to next? We really should take a break to be honest, I was thinking maybe somewhere with lot’s of green and oh, what about a lake too!” Pleading with your eyes as Grogu joined in too with his inky black eyes as Din sat down in the cockpit

“Know what, no.” As he swivelled back in his chair to face towards the control panel

“Huh!? Oh c’mon Din pleaseee just for like a day or two even!”

Din slightly chuckled under his breath as you looked at the child mocking Din with your hand

“I was kidding, do you have everything?” Din replied looking back at you

“Really?!”

“Well what does it look like I’m doing?” Din said as he started up the crest to pull up from the ground

“You do not know how much I love you Din Djarin.”

Slowly you both took off leaving Peli’s to set off to the planet Naboo for a week as her and the droid’s waved goodbye.

Thank you for your time and reading this fic of mine! Plus maybe go check out my other fic’s if you would please. Like’s, comment’s, and maybe even a follow are highly appreciated! (NOT FORCING) I will try to post fic’s every once or twice a week thank you for dealing with having to wait on this one, it’s just I’ve been a really busy person atm and I decided to take a break and I am sorry I didn’t say that I was going to. So really I do appreciate you all for sticking around with me!! Love y’all! <333

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jenyifer · 8 months

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I am seeing a lot of posts of how Boston would be happiest in an open relationship, that he doesn't need to be monogamous or doesn't need to be "fixed" because sleeping around is perhaps not a character flaw. The thing I do not understand is the whole point of Boston being a hoe, that OF has been driving from the beginning, the reason for this is: that he doesn't want to form connections, because he knows that is leaving, leaving everything behind in a few months to start afresh again, far, far away. It's not because this lifestyle makes him the happiest (I mean sex does give him momentary happiness, like the drugs and alcohol probably do for Ray), but rather because his sleeping around is a defense mechanism. Because truly, NO HUMAN BEING CAN EXIST WITHOUT MAKING CONNECTIONS. And he avoids these deeper connections and relationships like a plague. Look at how he even sabotaged his own friendships!

How is everyone missing the point that Boston has been 'self-harming' himself too, in a different way but he has been. However now, the question is has Boston ever been loved (without his sexual aspect) since he was a baby? Not looked after, not cared for, but loved, loved even when he made mistakes, when he did things he wasn't supposed to do? The answer is most likely NO. Nobody even bothered, including his parents and also friends to really know Boston. And so in conclusion no one really knows what Boston's personality is other than the fake mask he wears for himself of being a slut with no remorse.

And as for Boston being happy in a poly-relationship, how is everyone missing that Boston is not that self-assured of sharing LOVE if/when he truly finds it. He cannot physically share the person he loves/will love in the future, simply because that's what he is so scared about!!!! A threesome sure, but not a long-lasting polygamous relationship.

He is not jealous of Nick and Dan. He truthfully didn't look jealous, instead, he clearly looked heartbroken that the person he might have feelings about was having a good time in the arms of another man.

To be in a consensual poly-relationship you need to have a lot of love to give and a lot of love to share, and right now Boston has neither. He needs to be assured of love to even process that yes, he is more than capable of loving back and having deep connections with another person even outside of their bed. And Nick can be (is) this person for Boston.

Anon I love you 10,000% and have been struggling to make a post addressing this but you’ve put it beautifully. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Boston’s mask of confident slut is one that EVERYONE except to some extent Nick sees INCLUDING the audience. I think this is why we haven’t gotten Boston’s POV after all these episodes because he is a superficial boy and under the surface he and Nick are the same. Desperate for anyone to love them. While Nick’s desperation is born out of feeling like no one ever looks at him.

Boston is born out of no one ever seeing him or trying to see who he really is.

Because he feels like no one could possibly love who he really is. When Boston talks about himself to those who he loves Ray and Nick he is incredibly aware of how shitty he is how he makes a mess for himself.

He tells Nick he’s bad. He agrees with Nick he is the asshole. Later he tells Ray that if Ray shows Mew the clip Ray will be as “evil” as Boston is. Boston knows what he does is wrong but as Nick says it’s a desperate plea to be loved. He LOVES Ray and Mew so much and their happy times together are coming to a close. He self sabotages those relationships throughly because he believes he’s bad. It’s what he has to do. He’s already on this path why not throw the water of cold reality on your best friend when he’s lying to himself. Why not sleep with Top to get validation that you are still better than Mew? He does this because he is afraid. He doesn’t know what to do with his emotions. He’s never been taught but all he is told is what a piece of shit he is so why not be a self fulfilling prophecy.

Boston dad’s attitude to Boston have such a practiced bravado that we see reflected in Boston. Boston is very similar to Kang from Dangerous Romance but he doesn’t have a grandma to care about him even a little bit. Boston is alone with no expectations because he is just a burden. A reminder of failure. A potential weakness and that has been drilled into him. Boston doesn’t get defensive when confronted because he knows what he’s done is wrong. HES A FREAKING ZOMBIE AT THE PARTY FOR GOD SAKE EVEN KNOWING WHAT RAY WILL DO. This is how Boston self harms he takes whatever criticism he gets. Because he knows it’s true. He DESERVES the pain and the consequences. It’s extremely sad.

The ONLY time we see him fight back on these accusations is when Nick is backed into a corner during their confrontation Boston is pressuring Nick to admit who gave Ray the recording. I think coming from Nick the judgement was too much. He’d let Nick see under the mask and now Nick was rejecting him and Boston had to hit back 10x harder to protect himself.

The mask drop that shows us how scared and insecure Boston really is is right there. He makes that face when he’s genuinely hurt. Boston is a scared boy who wants love.

He couldn’t be in a poly relationship because he isn’t secure in himself and his connections to others. Poly relationships require a lot either mental strength in self assurance. Boston would say yeah it’s fine for Nick to be with others because that is what slutty Boston would do but I don’t think he could take it mentally it would eat him alive. He’d self sabotage to oblivion because internally it would be confirmation Nick never loved him and never believed in their relationship bond. BECAUSE Boston can’t love himself or believe in himself. He doesn’t know how. I think he won’t break up Nick and Dan because of jealousy because it’s what Boston deserves in his head. Nick being happy with someone else means Boston was right all along. No one could ever love him. However if I could predict what I think will happen Nick being hurt by Dan in anyway would be a no go from Boston. Boston let’s his relationships go with Ray and Mew BUT HE STILL LOVES THEM. Boston shows up to the hostel shit and is humiliated for Mew’s pleasure. Boston shows up for Ray’s injury and when Ray was maybe getting arrested by the police to be there for Ray. If something happens to Nick I think Boston will be there in-spite of himself he can’t fully let go.

I think Boston learning to trust Nick and himself is the only way forward. There is so much that needs to be healed. Nick is his safe space though and no matter what Boston does Nick will love him. Boston needs to accept this and Nick needs to accept that Boston truly loves/deserves who Nick the person is too. Boston is in the process of learning to love and what that really is. He needs patience. And one day if he can truly love himself and Nick maybe being poly won’t be an issue. But Id worry that it would just bring up old insecurities in both Nick and Boston. We don’t even have a hint at what drives Nick to be a stalker other than insecurities so… I doubt he could do that either and that’s okay. Everyone needs to experiences love in their own way.

I hope that made sense. Anon you are amazing and I hope I brain souped that well. Thank you again for sending it. I’m suffering but in a good way. I hope that was coherent.

#only friends #only friends meta #ofts meta #ofts #only friends Boston #ofts Boston #bostonnick #boston x nick #ask #Jenny’s rambling #only friends episode 9 #ofts ep9 #only friends nick #ofts nick

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