taylor x 5sos parallels - part 11/?

I need qPhil to tell Sunny how awesome and swaggy she is so she stops thinking he hates her and so Tubblings that clearly don't watch any other POV besides Tubbo's shut the FUCK up about Phil hating her and stop posting the most rancid, untrue, one-sided & illiterate ass takes I've ever seen.

IT'S MISCOMMUNICATION. THAT QPHIL DOESNT REALIZE IS HAPPENING. BECAUSE NO ONE HAS TOLD HIM. BECAUSE QTUBBO'S STUPID ASS (I SAY THIS AS A TUBBLING MYSELF) DOESN'T FUCKING SPEAK UP FOR HIS DAUGHTER. AT LEAST NOT OFTEN ENOUGH. NO ONE ELSE BESIDES HIM REALIZES SUNNY IS FEELING THE WAY SHE IS. AND HE SAYS NOTHING ABOUT IT TO ANYONE. AND SUNNY DOESN'T REALIZE SHE CAN SPEAK UP HERSELF. OR SHE'S AFRAID TO BC SHE'S JUST A KID, WHICH IS COMPLETELY VALID. SUNNY'S ADMIN IS FANTASTIC AT PLAYING A CHILD THAT DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THIS SOCIAL STUFF.

TUBBLINGS NEED TO PULL THEMSELVES OUT OF RP FOR 2 SECONDS AND REALIZE A CHILD'S PERCEPTION OF THE WORLD ISN'T WHAT'S ACTUALLY TRUE. FOR A BUNCH OF CHRONIC METAGAMERS, THEY FUCKING SUCK AT THINKING META WHEN IT ACTUALLY FUCKING MATTERS. I SAY THIS AS SOMEONE WHO WATCHES STREAMS REGULARLY. I SEE CHAT.

AND IT SHOULDN'T BE ONLY SUNNY'S JOB TO SPEAK UP FOR HERSELF WHEN SHE'S FEELING A BAD WAY ANYWAY. PARENTS SPEAK FOR THEIR EGGS ALL THE TIME. TUBBLINGS MAY NOT HAVE WATCHED QSMP BEFORE TUBBO WAS ON TO KNOW THAT, BUT THEY'RE METAGAMING LITTLE FUCKERS ANYWAY. SO IF THEY'RE SO PRESSED ABOUT THIS, THE LEAST THEY COULD DO IS THINK OF PROPOSING COMMUNICATING ON SUNNY'S BEHALF AS IF IT'S AN ORIGINAL IDEA THEY HAD, SINCE THEY LOVE SUGGESTING META OR BACKGAME-Y SHIT SO MUCH.

OR THEY SHOULD THEMSELVES OUT OF RP FOR 2 FUCKING SECONDS TO REALIZE ROLEPLAY IS ABOUT COMMUNICATION. AND TUBBO IS NOT COMMUNICATING THAT THERE IS AN ISSUE. SO THIS IS NOT PHIL'S FAULT.

Also Tubblings & Phil antis in general have this habit of assuming he's being fucking rude when That's Just How Northerners Talk. So good job, you dumbasses are stereotyping. I've seen so many UK northerners speak up about how they hate seeing people from their region labeled as assholes for talking the way they talk. But I digress.

REGARDLESS OF FANDOM ISSUES.

QTUBBO SHOULD HAVE TOLD PHIL BY NOW THAT SUNNY FEELS THIS WAY. INSTEAD OF LETTING THIS FUCKING FESTER. WORSE, SOMETIMES HE STRAIGHT UP TALKS TO SUNNY LIKE HER PERCEPTION OF PHIL HATING HER IS TRUE. RATHER THAN REASSURING HER HE DOESN'T. FROM PHIL'S POV, TALLULAH & SUNNY GET ALONG NOW SO THERE'S NO TENSION BETWEEN THE DEATH FAMILY & THE UNDERSCORE FAMILY. HE HAS NO FUCKING IDEA THAT SUNNY DOESN'T RECOGNIZE HE'S TEASING. OR THAT HE CAME OFF A WRONG WAY. AGAIN, HE JUST TALKS THE WAY HE TALKS. AND SUNNY DOESN'T REALIZE THAT. AND THAT'S OK BC SHE'S A KID.

I hope to god this is ccTubbo playing his character this way intentionally bc I'm down for imperfect/flawed characters. Even if this is aggravating me SO MUCH and even if I HATE characters that think everyone & everything is against them when it's clearly not true. Bc at least then that means there's time for qTubbo to learn he's severely fucking things up going about things the way he is. There's opportunity for the narrative to progress and for the conflict to resolve. qPhil is imperfect and flawed and I snort that shit like crack. I'm down to ride out qTubbo's character development just the same even if I don't enjoy it.

BUT UNDER THE ASSUMPTION THAT THIS IS NOT A MATTER OF META VS RP AND NOT AN INTENTIONAL CHOICE ON CCTUBBO'S PART.

QTUBBO SHOULD BE SUPPORTING SUNNY WHETHER THAT MEANS SPEAKING UP FOR HER OR ENCOURAGING HER TO. INSTEAD HE BASICALLY GOES "DAMN THAT'S CRAZY, WE'RE BOTH SO HATED" AND MOVES ON. WHEN. IF YOU WATCH PHIL OR FIT OR PAC OR MAYBE EVEN BAGI BC SHE'S ON "EARLY" SOMETIMES. THEY ALL CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THEM BOTH. THEY CARE ABOUT EVERY ISLANDER. EVEN THE ONES THAT DON'T SHOW UP FOR FUCKING MONTHS. ITS THEM VS THE FEDS. ALWAYS. EVEN AFTER FUCKING PURGATORY, THEY WILL ALL STILL DROP EVERYTHING TO MAKE SURE EGGS ARE OK OR ASK IF PEOPLE NEED HELP WHEN MESSAGES POP UP IN CHAT. THEY STILL PANIC EVEN WHEN MESSAGES OF SOMEONE GOING DOWN POP UP BECAUSE THEY'RE PLAYING AROUND. IT HAPPENED JUST THE OTHER DAY WITH RICHAS AND MIKE. NOT EVEN BEING FORCED TO BETRAY AND HURT EACH OTHER, AND BEING PITTED AGAINST EACH OTHER FOR WEEKS HAS BROKEN THE BONDS THEY ALL HAVE. THIS ISLAND HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN "IT TAKES A VILLAGE" ISLAND. EGG NEED HELP, EGG SAD, PARENTS SCRAMBLE TO HELP AND COMFORT. SAME WITH FELLOW ISLANDERS. EVERYTHING THE ISLANDERS DO IS TO A) PROTECT THE EGGS NO MATTER WHO'S EGG IT IS, B) PROTECT AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER, AND C) TO FIND ANSWERS FROM THE FEDS TO GET CLOSURE. OR ESCAPE THE ISLAND. THE DAY TUBBLINGS LEARN THAT IT'S NOT AND NEVER HAS BEEN TUBBO VS EVERYONE IS THE DAY I KNOW FUCKING PEACE.

SO I AM BEGGING. THAT IF QTUBBO WON'T FUCKING SPEAK UP FOR SUNNY. AND IF SHE'S TOO AFRAID TO SPEAK UP FOR HERSELF. THAT AT THE VERY LEAST, PHIL FUCKING DOTES ON HER SO SHE REALIZES HE DOESN'T FUCKING HATE HER. AND THEN TUBBLINGS REALIZE HE DOESN'T FUCKING HATE HER. HE DOESN'T HATE ANYONE ON THE ISLAND THAT ISN'T A FED OR A PURGATORY FUCKWAD. AND BY DOTING ON SUNNY AND TELLING HER HOW COOL AND FUN SHE IS, TUBBLINGS WILL FINALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP. AND SUNNY AND THE CROWS WILL ALL KNOW FUCKING PEACE.

Hey, I've seen all the hate y'all are getting. As a system ourself, we don't have any problematic fictives or factives, but still respect systems who have them and alters that ARE them.

There is NO reason you should disrespect a PERSON because of their source or who they are based on being problematic. To us it's like punishing a person for their parents or something, it's stupid. These alters struggle because of the toxic community some people make in spaces that are SUPPOSED TO BE SAFE! We don't believe that anybody deserves so much hate for just.. existing.

And to the people who run this blog. We apologize for the way this community has treated you. It's unbelieveable. We hope you guys are safe, and doing well. Take care of yourselves, remember that you are important, you deserve love and respect.

-🦋🍄

I like the comparison to judging an introject for their source and judging a kid for their parents. That's how it feels sometimes. So many people get so mad over a name. Like how they would over a family name.

People will blame you all around talking about how you need to separate from your source and then only list connections that don't matter. My name, my looks, my sexuality, those aren't the things that we should be worried about. We should care about the things that made the real guy a bad person. You want to be mad at him, be mad at him for hurting people. For taking lives. Now recognize that I don't do these things. In the ways that matter, I'm not connected. I'm separated. And sometimes people don't get that.

In both of those cases, a person seems to be so hated for their name. For something someone they're related to did. I will admit there's a difference. I know that I'm only insert person *because* he did those bad things, but that doesnt mean I condone those bad things. I'm not glad they happened. I'm not here to traumatize victims families further. I just want to do my job and be treated as a person. NPC and I are doing better, thank you so much for sending in an ask and for your support. Positivity means a lot in times like these

long story short i got pissed off by some people

ok so about the "forced lesbians" in Andor

(or what i wanna shoves in homophobes faces)

(warning: english isnt my first language)

.

first of all, fuck do you mean "forced" in the first place?

storywise it makes total sense.

the Aldhani team (minus cassian) had been together for months to plan for the mission, normally, some relationships can developed from friendemies to friendships or even romance. its completely normal for people to bond in one way or another when they're been together for months, counting on each others to survive.

so lets list out what kind of relationship (mostly romance) that doesnt make much sense:

- nemik & anyone (boy's dedicated his whole life for communism good for him)

- gorn & anyone (his deceased lover is the main motivation that drives him forward for the mission, and he loves her enough to opened his eyes to sees the true colors of the empire or to the point that he can no longer ignore it, and willingness to become the double spy, knowing and accepting his fate)

- vel & skeen (kleya most likely told vel to keep an eye out for skeen right from the get go, knowing his criminal record) ((we can also count cinta & skeen since cinta seems to be pretty good at reading people (she figured out the empire spy in ferrix pretty quick) and tbh skeen is a walking criminal record from his prison tattoos to his normal behavor always hyper prepare for troubles (almost as if he's planning something sketchy) so i can see cinta who's also seem to be on edge most of the time for fearing the empire or fearing someone might betray them, putting someone as suspicious as skeen on a watchlist))

- cinta & taramyn (stormtrooper ptsd, someone as careful as cinta would put him on the watchlist no matter what) ((also vel & taramyn because it clear that he sees her more as the leader than a friend, nevermind a love interest, and i dont think extreme stormtrooper/soldier training can let taramyn even comfortable enough to think about relationships while living right next to the enemy's base))

- and like i said cassian doesnt count since he's only there for 3 days. any relationship more than "friends" (thats if he's lucky since everyone were weary of him except for nemik) is Beyond Forced. him flirting once with cinta only count as romantic if you're like, not aware at all how human works, and cassian flirts with anyone, so-

so thats all the male&female pairings

now what does the two girls have?

- they share most of the same jobs for the mission (diving and messing with the comms in the base)

- they're the only two girls in the team

- from the talkative philosophical nemik to the sketchy skeen, from taramyn and gorn who're always on edge about the mission, vel and cinta seems to be the more "normal" people on the team, in term of how they deal with things

these alone + spending time together for months in the woods, counting on each others to survive, i'll be surprised that they're not at least good friends

but they're not, they are more than friends

and i know more about rainworld lore analysis than romance, but even i can see the reasons

- cinta who has been distrusting and scared her whole life, meets the responsible team leader vel, who's arguably not the most demanding or strong leader, but anyone can tell that she always tries her best to do what's good

- vel whose almost every aspects of her is some form of rebellious against her heritage, from supporting the rebels to not following the traditional chandrilan marriage system (aka being a lesbian) to literally ran away from her family

its not hard to see vel and cinta became close friends pretty early on, and for whatever reasons, decided to be vulnerable to each other on a personal level

enough for vel to share about her history as a rich girl, enough for cinta to lower her guard for once in god know how long, and enough for both of them to normally, naturally fell in love

okay we just wanted to give our two cents on the "is sysmed transphobic" matter and kinda explain it but we didnt wanna make a syscourse post on our blog so here

So a lot of people think that the word sysmed is transphobic because it compares anti-endos to transmeds

1- the reason we do this is because they have the same arguments (you need ____ to be a real ___, you're a faker harming real ____, ect.) and the emotional and mental harm they cause to us is very similar to the emotional and mental harm that transmeds cause to trans people.

2- while there are trans anti-endos who think the term is transphobic, they are part of the group that it is referring to, so their opinions on what we should call them isn't a big priority (for example: most terfs think that the word terf is a slur). Plus all the trans endos and pro-endos who don't think the term is transphobic. Just because there are trans anti-endos doesnt mean that we can't use the word sysmed; there have been many, many cases of minorities being in hate groups.

3- If there are trans endos or pro-endos who find the term transphobic, then they have every right not to use it. Although that shouldn't stop other trans endos and pro-endos from using it if they're comfortable with it (for example: if you're uncomfortable with using a slur that you can reclaim, then you don't have to, but that shouldn't stop others from reclaiming it).

Also kind of off topic but we think its a generally funny word because we've seen them deny medically proven things like introjects lol

anyways thats what we think, enjoy

Thanks so much for the detailed addition! Very well said! 👏

On that last point, it's really something else they have in common with transmeds. While both groups pretend to support a medical model, neither is actually supported by the medical community.

HMMM just thinkin' off the top of the dome here...interested to hear your thoughts because I feel like these two could fit anywhere!!

💜 close friendship (the teasing is relentless) and/or 💛 childhood friends (depending on your timeline!!) They Go Back imo.

💗 slow burn and/or 💘 friends to lovers (I'm just weak for these tropes LMAO...but staying platonic is lovely too!!)

☕ Riley works in service of Cynthia (probably not literally working, just thinkin' about what you had written before about Riley's dedication to Sinnoh/champion as The Last Aura Guardian Standing)

RELATIONSHIP TYPES

ooOH I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ON THEM OKAY OKAY. This ran long so it's going under a read more lol.

close and childhood friends YES - I dont doubt they go back and I speculate they did a lot of training together too. They're both incredibly strong trainers on a journey at one point though Riley of course going the way of taking up his his heritage and right as an Aura Guardian/Master rather then a dedicated trainer, gym leader or champion. He's never dropped his constant support or hand of course esp when she went down that path. It's not hard to communicate after all - he's got funny aura powers that makes connecting to people he's close to super easy no matter how far apart they are. Helps with knowing if something is wrong right away and for mind memes he's not at all caught up with. He lived on a little cave island with no internet, he still doesnt get why people laugh when he says the vibes are off wha-

Not only is that his very good friend but that's the champion and his guardian duty is to the welfare and protection of his people at her hand. He'll take a bullet for you. Dont test him cause he'd absolutely find a way to prove it too-- But dont let that detail get it twisted, regardless of who the champion is, was or will be he'd still very much offer his full support. He just calls her "Miss Cynthia" now probably to a lot of chuffing.

AND YEAH...YEAH...Im a sucker for the knight x ruler trope and friends to lovers. I imagine he doesn't understand the full scope of his feelings and pretty inexperienced with any form of intimacy. Spending most of his time training and meditating on an island kinda does that to you, oops. They run deep. He reads it as having profound regard for someone he's very close with and can understand with ease even without his aura reading powers. This steadfast dedication is from his sense of duty, right? ...Well not entirely. As mentioned above champion or not he'll be there at the drop of his fancy hat. There's something different about these feelings he's noting, and for someone who's literally mastered reading emotions he sure can't figure out his own.

Maybe a little nudge and some getting past his own modesty and over-politeness could point him in the right direction. But I sure look forward to how they get there.

Also catch me and how they connect in being some of the last of their own kind if you think about it, they even wear their ancestral symbols on them and --

hey so I saw your post about helping a friend with their identity and I was wondering if you could help me with mine

So I present as pansexual but sometimes my brain says that I’m just straight because the only people that I’ve found that are also supportive are only girls (my sex is male) and I’m starting to wonder if it’s true. I can’t remember if it’s something like imposter syndrome or what it is, but I just wanted to ask about it.

I mean I want to be in a queer relationship but then my brain is like “you’re just saying you’re gay to look cool” or “you say you’re gay but you’re just an ally”

And I feel the same way about my gender identity, I present as non-binary and want to get non-binary gender affirming surgery and other procedures, but my brain’s like “you just want the surgery to have more sex” and I don’t know what to believe.

Thanks if you can help and sorry for “trauma (if that’s the right word)” dumping.

so first off, you are valid as hell. you dont need to fully know who you are yet, it takes forever to figure this stuff out. like i only recently came to terms with my gender and am still figuring out my attraction. no matter where you are in your journey you are valid as hell.

with that out of the way, i can't tell you how you're meant to be attracted towards peoples. you could be omnisexual, you could be romantically/sexually attracted to girls only but different attraction types such as alterous for other genders, you could be abrosexual (like genderfluid but for sexuality), or something else entirely.

however i have two bits of advice for you, both in the form of quotes.

"but what if that little queer crush is completely insignificant in my life now and I've basically forgotten it???" i hear you say. well now i have a quote from a book called Imogen, Obviously, where main character Imogen is having a bisexual crisis over a girl, and is talking to her sister Edith about it.

one of them is from onetopicatatime from youtube (i highly reccomend for some chill but also educational content about lgbtqia+ things), who i remember saying once "if you think you're faking it, you're probably not." if you relate to queer experiences, or you think you might have had a queer crush at one point, then dont disregard that!! this community is more than large enough for you, and all of your experiences are valid, no matter what.

Even if you and another pan person on the internet both identify as pan, and that person has been hooking up with literally anybody they find mildly hot at a bar, and you've had a few small crushes on small selections of people who happen to all be the same gender, that doesnt mean you're less valid. maybe they're older than you and have had more time to be attracted to people. maybe theres no cute/hot boykissers at your school/work/etc.

i'm not pan, but the definition describes the potential for being attracted to people regardless of gender identity. i dont see anything there telling you that you have to be attracted to every. single. person you see. maybe its a coincidence, or (and I say this as an aromantic person who always thinks that im just weird for not wanting to date people) maybe you just haven't found people you really connect with yet.

being scared of not being queer "enough" or faking your identity is essentially a hallmark of the queer experience at this point, and I think it really just takes time to feel comfortable in your identity. it sucks but I think that's just how it goes.

[Image ID: A screenshot from a novel PDF, from the perspective of the main character Imogen. It reads as follows - I press my cheeks. "How do i know it's not a fluke? What if I only ever fall for one girl?" - "Then you're bi." She pats my arm. - "What if I'm talking myself into it?" - Not a thing - "Okay, but what if the girl i like is kind of, I don't know, boyish?" - "Is she a boy?" Edith asks. - "No." - "Sounds pretty bi." /.End ID]

part 2 - gender wowie

i think it's good to think about what are your reasons you want to get gender affirming procedures. like do you want them to stop dysphoria? to wear clothes that fit your gender better? to feel more attractive to yourself, and better about yourself when others are attracted to you?

if you think it's the right pathway for you, go for it. but remember you're valid as trans, or enby, or anything, no matter if you physically transition or not. however, you don't have to decide NOW NOW NOW NOW. like for example maybe you're multigender and one part of you really wants to look like your assigned gender, but the other half wants to be the opposite or in between. or maybe you're genderfluid and you feel too much like your AGAB too often to be sure you wanna transition.

I really hope I could help somewhat!!! sorry I was a bit late I was figuring out what would be best to say to help you :3

final takeaway is that its gonna take time to feel sure about being queer and your place among the community. also, maybe do the aroace thing of categorising every person you know and seeing if you would be attracted to them or not, cause at least you get closure then, if not then you get queer attraction instead. also, if you have the means to, maybe try dressing as the opposite to your assigned gender (ask for Visa gift vouchers if your parents / guardians aren't supportive and you don't have an income / credit card)

also im sorry if something I said didn't really help in the way I intended or I made a dumb assumption, sometimes I try and say something but it comes out meaner than intended, I tried to rectify that if I realised but hopefully I got everything.

also you are totally welcome to traumadump here!! i do it a lot myself tbh

stay safe

&

List of dragon ball characters and whether they're homophobic or not

Bulma: I actually think that shes mildly homophobic bc she has no reason not to be. She is very caught up in being perfect and very sensitive to the standards of propriety in a way so .... But you could change her mind. Shes stubborn so she'll argue at first but since she prides herself as being elegant and compassionate and open-minded, she would come to realize that you're right. Then shed be a violent ally. But until then shes mildly homophobic

Vegeta: From outer space and an environment of tyrannical oppression. Any self-expression is radical. He deosnt have any opinions on homosexuality same as he doesnt have opinions on any of the affairs of others - but he also believes unequivocally that one should always have pride and self-worth no matter what. And if someone is putting you down then you should kill them. Always

Goku: Hed be like "HUH? PEOPLE DO THAT? Wow I had no idea..." but have no opinion beyond that

Chichi: I DONT KNOW ? She might faint .

Yamucha: He cant be homophobic bc his boyfriend (Tien) is gay

Trunks & Goten: We all saw how they behaved at the end of Z .... :(

Krillin: Hed be so supportive of all of your struggles but if he found out you were gay he would forget to hide his complete and utter shock. He has nothing against it tho and in fact Android 18 used to take him to gay bars all of the time

Android 18: All of her friends are in the community

Gohan: 0 opinion I dont even want him on my list.

Videl: Shes a little into it tbh. Like Live and Let Live is a motto but also shes a little into it. Shes very into the homoerotic moments of life tbh. Tbh

Tarble: If you talk about homosexuality in front of him he'd nod sagely like he already knows everything and is waiting for you to catch up. Like hes seen in all before. Not without an air of ego to it. If you tell him you're gay he nods like it makes perfect sense and hes so wise and hes just waiting for you to catch up. Kind of makes you want to tell him to fuck off

my mom is super pissed and super dissapointed BUT knows i wasnt involved and understands why i didnt act differently so i think ill be okay with her. my sister who wasn't involved (my older sister) is super pissed, but again not so much with me but mostly with my other sister because she did participate , but my older sister did scream at me for a few minutes, which made her a little less mad, and i desereved it. she also cant yell at my other sister because shes actially fucking crazy when she has to face the consequences of her actions and would likely do something irreversable because she feels like shit about what happened nd my older sister knows that, which kind of pissed her off more, but i think itll mostly be okay.

ive also decided i will not see any of those people aside from my sister outside of school, and will not speak to them or interact with them unless they initiate, and i will keep it short. im tired of being dragged into shit that i dont wanna be a part of. also that boy did take responsibility for one of the things used being his, so hopefully my sister and i will not get drug charges , but my 'friends' literally said they lied to the police. i dont know if thats true or if they just dont want everyone to think they snitcehd , but i refuse to be involved with people who think its okay to break the law and when they get caught, to do it again. theyre stupid and i cant deal with that. especially when half of them are shitheads who dont like me anyways.

ive also decided to see if i can tutor after school and also write handwritten letters to the officers superintendent and principal to attempt to get my reputation back. i know you said it doesnt matter, and its probably pointless to even worry about, but i do really care what these people think of me, and i want them to trust me and believe in me and support me. i am nothing without my reputation and intelligence at this school. all these people have known each other since diapers and have lives to fall back on. they have family farms and loyal friends and support from their community. i dont have that so i want to earn support and loyalty and this is the only way i know how.

i really appreciate the support through all my struggles ive shared with you. even thought you arent in my life physically and youre just some cool person i know from the internet who writes silly stories i like , its nice to feel like someone cares about you. ive always found it difficult sharing my thoughts and feelings, especially with adults mostly because i didnt want to be judged, and i dont feel judged with you, and i can get advice from someone with more life experience. thank you for that. i hope youre doing well, especially after your surgery(?)

I'm proud of you for setting up new boundaries and distancing yourself from those people. But I hope you also know that its not fair for your older sister and mom to use you as a scapegoat because your other sister isn't mentally stable enough to take her fair share of the punishment. Just because she can't handle it doesn't mean you should have to handle double the dose of yelling and anger. That's not healthy, especially since you were already an unwilling party to that whole experience.

And I hope you realize that you have worth and value outside of what people think of you! It's okay to be concerned with your reputation but keep in mind that nobody will truly understand the real you because they're not in your head all the time. They will judge you on only what they see and believe about you so it's impossible to curate a perfect image. But that's okay! People aren't meant to understand one another to such degrees anyway. It's alright to be flawed. We are all just works in progress, trying our best to make the most of what we've got

You'll understand this more and more the older you get. And your desire to be seen in a good light by others will fade as you realize that yours is the one true opinion that REALLY matters. Once you start liking and respecting yourself, everyone else can take a long walk off a short pier 😌

Stay positive! Things can and will always get better 🖤

An LGBTQ+ Therapist Weighs In on Jesse Sullivan's Approach to Parenting and Pronouns

When Jesse Sullivan and Francesca Farago shared their pregnancy news on March 31, it was no coincidence the announcement also fell on Trans Day of Visibility. Sullivan, who came out as transgender when he was 19, has been documenting his and Farago's journey with IVF treatments on social media for months. "We're pregnant! It's been such a struggle to get here, but we felt like TDOV was the perfect day to let you all in on our celebration," Sullivan wrote in the caption of the TikTok announcement. "Thank you for following our journey, and here's to more trans joy!" Even though Sullivan already parents his 15-year-old child Arlo, there has since been an onslaught of questions about how Sullivan and Farago will raise their child, including what gender pronouns they will use for the baby. "When they are babies, will you say he/him or she/her or what?" one TikTok commenter asked. In response, Sullivan shared his thoughts in a viral video that has already been viewed more than 1.7 million times. @jessesulli Replying to @Han I think this is a great question. I have 17 neices and nephews, and 1 kid, and I promise you kids’ interests and behaviors only differ based on their unique personalities, not their sex. This doesnt mean I don’t provide guidance as the adult. It just means I dont believe in limiting a child’s true self expression based on M or F. ♬ original sound - Sulli "Let's say we have a child who is male; his chromosomes are XY and he's assigned male at birth. I will go ahead and use he/him, but this is where my parenting differs. I'm not going to put these expectations on him or her based on those pronouns or however they're assigned at birth," Sullivan says in the video. "I don't think there's anything wrong with having a daughter and calling her she/her until she decides otherwise. I think what is wrong is that when you make them boxed in based on those pronouns." For Sullivan, this means he won't make his daughter do the dishes or his son take out the trash; he won't tell his son it's not OK to cry or tell his daughter what a great mother she'll be one day. "Essentially, I'm going to raise my kids to be great people no matter what," Sullivan added. Many people in the comment section showed support for Sullivan's take on parenting, and LGBTQ+ therapist Natasha Camille, LCSW, also agreed with the approach. "Jesse's video provided an important perspective on how people can parent in a way that fosters their children's ability to feel safe and encouraged to explore all aspects of themselves, including gender," Camille says. Below, Camille shares more about Sullivan's take and what parents can do as they navigate these same decisions with their own children. How to Navigate Gender Pronouns For Your Children Sullivan's parenting style is also known as blank-slate parenting, a term Camille says is popular in the LGBTQ+ community. As Sullivan describes in the TikTok, blank-slate parenting is what happens when you give your child a blank slate to discover who they are without forcing gender stereotypes or norms on them. "It calls for parents to relinquish any assumptions and expectations that they may be holding onto as they enter into parenthood, because these assumptions and expectations could later be harmful to their child," Camille adds. But this isn't the only "right" way to handle gender pronouns while parenting. In fact, Camille says it doesn't matter what pronouns you decide to use "as long as the parents are open to the fact that one day this child may discover that whatever pronouns you've been using for them doesn't feel affirming of their gender." They also add it's important parents remain "dedicated" to not boxing their children into particular gender norms. For parents, the process starts by assessing your own relationship with gender growing up. As Camille puts it: "Parents would benefit from reflecting on how they learned about gender… https://www.popsugar.com/family/jesse-sullivan-child-pronouns-therapist-approved-49351551?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

I can confirm, they introduced themselves as 3 readers and they made a post how Bee is leaving and starting their own channel. They even made a post to support it and linked the blog, that's how I knew of the Bee drama. But yknow whatever. But they shouldn't demonize those poor future apouses lmao, it's not gonna be them, or any of us.

Warning very long, I got carried away my bad lol

But the drama on tumblr is kinda mild conpared to Youtube "readers". At least the readers here on tumblr try to hide the fact, that they're describing themselves very well but yoooooooo.... Youtube readers are a different breed. Most of them are super young (12-13, but there are a handful of readers old enough to fucking know better) and just straight up describe themselves with no shame. I even found some who put pics of themselves lmao. Me and my friends like to go through readings and bet, who is describing themselves as a spouse. There is one reader who has over 30+ vids on Mrs. J, and most readings are like over 20 mins long. How much is there to know about a person, that doesn't exist yet??? But most YT readers are obssessed with the fact, that Mrs. J is from India, what a coincidence that the reader is also from India lmao. I'm not saying BTS wouldn't ever date someone from that country, I'm saying it's impossible to get a specific country, age, height, religion etc from tarot cards. The pics on the cards might give you clues and the cards can say that the person is different from you, but they go into way too much detail. And it's funny because they're always soooo specific for Jungkook and V, but for the other ones....crickets🦗 On one hand it's so sad bc you have these little girls, putting out their private info, looks and secrets for the whole world to see (these vids have thousands of views) and they don't really grasp the consequences of their actions bc yknow, their just children. The internet never forgets. But on the other hand, you have these grown women who, like I said, should know better than these little girls. Not only do they get so defensive if you don't 100% allign with what they said, they are borderline so obsessed of the idea of being a spouse. Like tf??? Bts aren't Gods. They're very attractive celebs, who's purpose is to entertain people with their contents and music (hence the word idol & entertainer), while they do feed into that perfect bf material scheme, it's up to the fan to not actually develop real romantic feelings (a celeb crush and being a stan is something very different). Most are actually fans for very superficial reasons, they just find them attractive, not the music. And if you take the glitz and glamour of fame and money away, Bts are regular human beings, with flaws and issues. Like. The. Rest. Of. Us. They only show you the best side of them, because it's part of the whole idol package. We truly do not know these people, no matter how sincere or authentic they appear on camera. Like so so many were suprised that they wanted to disband a few years ago, bc they couldn't handle the pressure. These readers always believe if they meet/marry them, their life is going to be better and they feel alive again or smth. Most of these readers actually need therapy, I don't mean that in a condescending way. They imagine that their spouse, a celeb they've never met, will be their sole reason for their happiness and only then they are able to fix their issues and unhappiness. That reeks of co-dependency. And even if they'd become couple and be public, then what? A really big big chunk of Armys are actually in love with Bts, no matter if they even know tarot or not (Armys usually claim that only 2% of the fandom are delulus but that's definetly not true🥴). You'd get send d*eath threats, be harrassed, get doxxed, be hated for all eternity, even if you'd decided to break up. Look what happend with Jk and the tattoo artist he only hugged. She lost her job bc Armys were reporting her, some were trashing her workplace, she got threats, her friends got harassed and doxxed and she lost a friend (Jk). Not only that, but people would legit stalk you and try to hurt you, if you were a romatic partner of Bts. Then you also have the tarot side, who'd try to curse youa nd paint you as the evil demon, who is toxic to member xyz. And I don't think you'd want to spend your entire life locked in your house. And I personally could never deal with like millions of haters, no matter how hot my partner is.

Yoooo! i search again in yt and watch a couple of videos... these are kids for go sake🥺🥺 where are their parents and why they let them public private infoooo?!? internet and children isnt the best combination...

and yess, theres also grown up women and thats really creepy, u can understand that children might do that cause they are young, BUT WHEN U ARE OLD ENOUGH, U SHOULD ACT BETTER!! and i insist, they just trying to prove to themselves and to the world that they are worth it to be with a celebrity, like yeah of course u are worthy, like any of us, but this is not the way u know? its weird, i dont think its sane at all, they just are using the cards to feel better, and thats bs. and if it is just a cope mecanism, plz work on yourself, get help, life its better when u are in a healthy place

also its interesting about mrs being from india and most of all the videos i watch where from indian armys, tarot doesnt work like that, yeah u can feel the energy that its different, perhaps different culture and think that maybe it could be a foreing, but the cards will never tell you something that specific, less if u dont even know in person the people you are reading for

we dont know them at all, and people put them in a such high pedestal just for being famous and hot, so i really have trouble to think that some tarot readers can pick their real energy, im a very intuitive person, but i need to be in the presence of the person to feel their real energy, so to be so specific in a reading they need to energise the cards with the energy of the person, they need to at least shuffle the cards and connect with the reader, sooo thats why i only see these reads as enterteiment, and its bad for the community to claim that we can see ALL of about them.

i'll never forgive the people who threaten the tattoo artist, poor girl, and thats why the guys cant have healthiest relationship, let them have a LIFE

The tik tok and the comments are so embarrassing. Imagine being a dummy that wants to fight people on the morality of lewding anime characters....fuck, that's so embarrassing lmao. They do this shit like every week. It has become so frequent and annoying that nobody cares about what they have to say anymore, we all just want them to shut up. It's tiring hearing the same dumbass talking point regurgitated over and over again. They just add a new buzzword to it and call it a day. And then they resort to saying dumb shit like "okay pedo!!" because looking/sounding dumb as fuck seems to be the only thing they're good at. It's pretty weird, honestly. These people are committed to defending the honor of a drawing over shutting the fuck up. Flabbergasting tbh.

Also, smut is the worst possible thing they could be bothered by. A random person on the internet writing about anime dick does not warrant such a visceral reaction and they need to understand that. Or just accept the fact that how they feel is nobody else's problem but their own and that nobody is obligated to cater to them.

But anyways bby, excuse my long ass rant 🤧 This shit is just getting old. I hope you know you're lovely and your writing is incredible 💗

exactly!! it’s not like it’s my responsibility to make sure they don’t see anything like that. like if you don’t like something, then ignore/block it. they swear they’re some saviors when they aren’t. and let’s not even start with the way they invalidated my blackness. no matter what i do, i’m going to do it while black. so when they say “that’s white ppl shit” it just makes me feel so disconnected from my own community.

thank you so much! it’s getting old and annoying and i’m waiting for the day when they have the decency to just SHUT UP🙄

they don’t like dark content but do they not realize that just because someone writes dark content DOESNT mean they support it in real life??? like with isayama, do they think he supports genocide because he writes about it? NO! why is it any different here?

Hey,

I was wondering if you could help me out a little. I don't have enough knowledge about this so please excuse my mistake if you think I'm being disrespectful by asking you this. I'm asking to improve myself. I apologize if I come across as rude.

So, I come from a pretty narrow minded society and here it's considered a sin to be homosexual or to even even support them. I don't understand why it is so. I see everyone as humans deserving of love and respect regardless of their preferences but, I've seen some people be extremely mean to them. However, recently I found out that some people can't 'support' LGBT for religious reasons yet they 'respect' LGBT. (I heard it's a way to show that they're not dangerous to the LGBT community).

So is it disrespectful if I can't support them because of my community but respect their decisions and preferences?

First off, huge disclaimer that I am not good explaining my thoughts so if I also come across as rude, I am just very awkward and trying my best 🧍‍♂️

Uh, someone correct me if I’m wrong if theres any religion that actually has that as a “rule” or something, (im not religious sorry :<) but based on what I know, that is just homophobia.

Respecting someones preferences, pronouns, sexuality, etc. is a good thing but imo its not enough. Though I understand some people can’t actively support the queer community given the circumstances of where they live (like if you live in a country super homophobic), Support is needed because the lives of queer people aren’t going to get any better if you turn a blind eye to all the fucked up shit homophobes with power put us through. Honestly, I find what people have told you complete bullshit because even if you respect someone’s pronouns or sexuality or whatever, you can still make matters worse for us by choosing to not support the community. Not supporting us basically means actively putting us at more risk. Letting exclusionists oppress us even more than we already have been (and in some countries it already goes as far as killing queer ppl) so uh, I think you should totally disregard whatever those ppl told you and support the LGBT community :))

if you live in a very homophobic country you can still support us in small ways!!!

if your friend comes out as queer, be their emotional support!!! living in homophobic households can be taxing to our emotional and mental health and people need a place to be themselves sometimes. let them talk about their crush or vent or honestly it doesnt have to be a topic about being part of the community. treat them like any other friend and let them talk about what they like. even if you don’t understand. the fact that you try is enough

if you can, inform people about sexualities and stuff. a lot of people actually dont know about these things so its nice to spread information :))) even if its through social media liek this one big hellsite

bonk all the homophobes/transphobes. honestly, this goes for anyone that oppresses minority groups. letting them in communities is vv harmful to us :’) if you dont have the guts to be out right about it or if it also endangers you and your friend, its best to just 🏃🏻‍♀️

i hope this was somehow helpful to you because ;-; this was really hard to answer.

"Let people ship shit!"... Ok, but... Thomas and Damiano are actual people??? They're not the otp from your favorite anime?? And also Damiano has a girlfriend of 4 years???

Maybe you're the one that should go outside more

Being so obsessed with a parasocial relationship that you ship TWO ACTUAL HUMAN BEINGS (who both identify as straight, and have said so several times?) can't be healthy

And before someone uses the "queer representation!" card:

There's a whole ass bisexual girl and a "sexually free" guy in the group...

... but you focus on two straight guys?? And even ship them?? Lmao

I smell fetish, I smell bullshit, I smell a creep

First off, I didnt realize who these people were when I commented. I thought it was a fucking TV show that people were losing their shit over. I'm sick to fucking death about you twats going around telling women they cannot write shit. Like I said, this case is different because when I made the comment I was unaware of who they were and assumed it was a TV show.

Furthermore, after looking into the situation after my comment. THIS IS A GOOD THING! They are out there showing the government that they arent putting up with that shit. I dont care if they identify as straight or not, they are standing up for our community. Risking their lives for US.

It doesn't fucking matter that queer people are in the group (I mean it does but thats not the situation here). The situation here is that two men, straight or not, can fucking see what we are going through and are standing up for us. WE NEED STRAIGHT ALLIES! WE NEED PEOPLE TO SEE THIS SHIT IS OKAY!!

I am queer, but that doesnt fucking matter, because straight people can write queer characters. They can give us more support, more representation NOT TO FUCKING MENTION YOU DONT BITCH ABOUT STRAIGHT MEN BEING INTO LESBIAN PORN! All you do is guzzle up that mysogeny and yell at straight women who particpate.

Newsflash, sweetheart, you have no bloody clue what someone is going through. If they are queer or not and fanfiction can be a way of exploring your own sexuality. But this is a separate issue entirely.

Come off anon and have a real conversation, you fucking puritanical coward.

They're Ontario's top-billing doctors, but for years their identities have been kept secret. Until now

Hes Ontarios highest billing doctor: Narendra Armogan, an eye specialist with a bustling Mississauga practice, has charged the Ontario Health Insurance Plan an average of about $6 million a year, the Toronto Star can finally reveal. Armogan billed OHIP more than $42 million since 2011 for providing services and treatment to his patients, according to Ministry of Health data. His name and those of other high-billing doctors can now be shared publicly for the first time following the Stars successful five-year quest to pull back the veil of secrecy on physicians who receive the most from the public purse. Seven years of ministry data obtained by the Star identifies 194 doctors out of the 31,500 across the province whose annual billings from a high of around $6.9 million to a low of $1.4 million placed them in the Top 100 at least once between 2011 and 2018. Nearly half are ophthalmologists or radiologists. By comparison, the average ophthalmologist gets about $724,000 and the average family doctor, about $307,000, according to the most recent figures from the Canadian Institute for Health Information, an independent research organization. ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW Mobile users click here to view the locations of Ontarios top-billing graphic The billings are not the doctors take-home pay and do not take into account the often hefty overhead costs physicians pay for expenses like equipment, staff salaries and rent. These costs come out of their billings. In this story, the first of a series examining the data, the Star is seeking greater transparency on how health-care dollars are spent in the province. Armogan, who was the top-billing doctor every year except in the 2016-17 fiscal year when he ranked third, did not agree to an interview. In one of a series of emails to the Star, the ophthalmologist said he does not concern himself with the ranking of physician incomes. What matters to me is the care I give to my patients, wrote Armogan, who operates out of OCC Eyecare, with its main clinic located in an industrial area near Pearson Airport. I save sight. Armogan said in his email his overhead expenses include at least 50,000-plus square feet, over 70 staff and probably more equipment than any other practice in Canada. He added his patients approval ratings consistently exceed 95 per cent. ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW With an aging population and ever-increasing demand for health care, all physicians need to not only work harder, but smarter and this is what we do, he wrote.

I put in long hours, am passionate about my work and constantly striving to improve. In collaboration with outstanding colleagues and caring support staff, we have built an eye-care practice that we believe provides top-quality, patient-centred care and does so in a way that allows us to reduce wait times. Of the 194 top-billing doctors in the ministry data, Armogan is one of about 180 currently licensed to practise. Two doctors have died since appearing in the top ranking and 11 have either resigned or had their licence revoked. The name of one doctor, who is independently fighting to stay anonymous, remains secret. Most of the top billers, including Armogan, have no record of cautions or discipline with the College of Physicians and Surgeons the regulatory body for Ontario doctors. There are some with histories of overbilling or professional misconduct. In 2017, the college ruled that Kitchener anesthesiologist Kulbir Billing could practise chronic pain management only under supervision for a year, disciplining him for professional misconduct related to improper record keeping, sterilization and overbilling of a pain treatment called nerve blocks. That same year he billed OHIP almost $3.5 million, making him the eighth highest biller. In late May, while still being investigated by the CPSO, Billing resigned, agreeing to never again practise in Ontario. Stefan Konasiewicz, a neurosurgeon working at five private pain clinics in Greater Toronto and Hamilton, ranked second in 2017-18 with a total of about $4.6 million in billings to OHIP. Last year, he was featured in the Stars Medical Disorder investigation, which revealed how doctors criss-crossed the U.S.-Canada border while keeping their medical histories secret. It found Konasiewicz had been sued for malpractice in the U.S. at least 12 times following surgical mishaps that left patients severely injured or dead. Patients in at least three of the lawsuits received settlements totalling $1.3 million (U.S.). Konasiewicz also faced disciplinary sanctions in three states, before returning to Canada to practise. Those disciplinary sanctions in Minnesota, Wisconsin and Texas were all imposed in response to a 2010 Minnesota medical board decision on what it concluded was the unprofessional and unethical treatment of four patients. Chatham ophthalmologist Christopher Anjema, who billed about $4.1 million to OHIP in 2017-18, has been a top biller every year in the data provided by the ministry, ranking as low as sixth and as high as second. He is also the subject of a current investigation by the CPSO, which is examining his standard of practice. In the meantime, hes agreed that when he performs cosmetic blepharoplasty (surgery sometimes referred to as eye lift or eyelid tuck), he will only do it under the guidance of a clinical supervisor acceptable to the college. Konasiewicz, Billing and Anjema did not respond to repeated requests for comment through letters and phone calls from the Star. In publishing data about these doctors, the Star is revealing how tax dollars are spent and pressing for greater accountability in a cash-strapped health system. Physician compensation costs Ontario about $12 billion annually, and amounts to about 8 per cent of the entire provincial budget. You want to make sure that people who contract with the government are behaving in a way thats ethical, that theyre not double billing, theyre not doing unnecessary work, said Christine Van Geyn, Ontario director of the Canadian Taxpayers Federation. The majority of them in every field are behaving ethically. But of course you want to catch the people who arent. Ontarios Sunshine List makes public the names and salaries of public employees earning $100,000 a year or more. It includes some doctors, such as those who work in community health centres and for boards of health. But the majority of physicians are not on the list. Michael Decter, who served as deputy minister of health during Bob Raes NDP government in the early 1990s and has advised various governments on health care over three decades, doesnt see why something similar shouldnt exist for physician billings above a certain threshold. There is no reason that the public shouldnt know where their tax dollars are going, he says. We publish tens of thousands of names of people who get paid by government. Doctors get paid overwhelmingly by government. I dont know why theyd be exempt. In April, the Ministry of Health said it was starting discussions with the Ontario Medical Association (OMA), which represents the political and economic interests of the provinces doctors, about making all physician billings publicly available. This has required a legislative act in other provinces, but ministry spokesperson Mark Nesbitt said it does not require one in Ontario. Brian Golden, the Sandra Rotman Chair in Health Sector Strategy at the University of Toronto and the University Health Network, said releasing a Sunshine List for doctors would be more about public intrigue than public interest. He also thinks it could cause in-demand doctors in smaller communities to cut back on hours if we get to the point where we start to embarrass physicians with posted billings. There are physicians who work extreme hours because they are the only provider in their community, Golden says. I dont think we want them to cut their provision of health care because of this. Dr. Sohail Gandhi, who recently became president of the OMA, did not agree to an interview with the Star. He said in an email that physicians are not government employees but independent contractors with small businesses. Most doctors in the province including all those in the ministrys Top 100 get at least some of their compensation under a fee-for-service model, one of three ways they can be paid from OHIP. (They can also earn additional money both privately and publicly.) Billing under the fee-for-service model is more common with specialists and less so with family doctors, and made up more than half $6.7 billion of all physician billings in 2017-18. Under this model, doctors bill OHIP for each service they provide using a unique fee code. This is done on the honour system. Mobile users click here to view how doctors get paid in Ontario There are more than 8,000 fee codes for every procedure, test and consultation a physician can perform contained in a public document called the OHIP Schedule of Benefits and Fees. Each fee code has its own unique number, price and description. They range from fee #E126, laser surgery for premature babies with an eye disease called Retinopathy of Prematurity ($1,245 for both eyes), on the high end, to fee #G005, a pregnancy test ($3.88), on the low end. Fee codes are set through negotiations between the Ministry of Health and the OMA, and are supposed to take into account how difficult a procedure is and how long it takes to perform. The billings submitted by physicians to OHIP arent salaries, Gandhi wrote in his email, rather they are gross billings out of which each physician must pay all the overhead costs necessary to run their practice and provide patients with the care they need. Overhead costs can include everything from salaries of professional and administrative staff, to office space and supplies, medical equipment and ongoing training. In a 2018 decision to release the OHIP billings to the Star (and later appealed to the Supreme Court), the Ontario Court of Appeal noted that billings are business information, not personal data, and not a reliable indicator of the individuals actual personal finances or income. For example, Dr. Ron Linden, CEO and medical director of the Judy Dan Research and Treatment Centre in North York, and among the top 100 billers since 2011, estimates his overhead expenses amount to more than $1 million a year, almost half of his 2017-18 billings.

His clinic uses hyperbaric chambers to treat wounds. The treatment, which can help save limbs, requires the use of expensive equipment, as well as several staff, said Linden in an interview. Linden, who has a spotless record with the CPSO, said he doesnt think physicians billings should be made public. The problem is that the public will misunderstand it or misread it, he said, adding he thinks physicians could also be targeted by local criminals. According to a 2012 article in Healthcare Policy, a Canadian peer-reviewed journal, doctors self-reported average overhead ranging from 12.5 per cent in emergency medicine to 42.5 per cent in ophthalmology. But, according to Eye Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario executive director Marcia Kim, overhead costs can be as much as 50 per cent for ophthalmologists, who specialize in diagnosis and treatment of eye disorders, as their equipment needs to be replaced as often as every five years. Its hard to tell exactly how much physicians are spending on overhead. The ministry doesnt track these costs, spokesperson David Jensen said, as physicians are independent contractors. Thats not the only place where oversight is lacking.

A 2016 report by Ontarios Auditor General called oversight of the physician billing system weak, and found serious issues, including that the ministry doesnt even bother to go after a lot of doctors with questionable billings because its too resource-intensive. An internal Ministry of Health audit dug into questionable billings of the 12 top billing doctors that same year. The audit flagged concerns involving seven doctors over upcoding, charging OHIP using fee codes for more expensive procedures, or charging for services that werent provided. But little has been done to improve the situation since a followup report came out in December 2018. Gandhi said the OMA sees the current system as structurally appropriate, but agrees that the audit system could be improved through proper resource allocation, bilateral work between the Ministry and the OMA, and a comprehensive implementation of recommendations from a 2005 report by Justice Peter Cory on Ontarios medical audit system. It suggested, among other things, that a new and independent board be responsible for audits, and the Schedule of Benefits be revised and interpreted flexibly. Gandhi declined to comment on individual billings. But he said physician billings reflect the needs of the growing and aging population. As the demand for health-care services continues to increase, Ontarios doctors are responding and delivering the care Ontarians need. Their priority is to respond to the needs of patients, meaning treating and caring for more patients, not less. These growing demands put pressure on negotiations between the province and the OMA for a new contract. After a four-year battle that went to binding arbitration, doctors finally got a new fee agreement in February, effective to March 2021. A three-member board of arbitration rejected the provinces request for a hard cap to be placed on the total amount physicians can bill the province annually, and eliminated unilateral fee cuts for all doctors. But it did call for a working group to eliminate $460-million worth of inappropriate medical services. That group is currently finalizing its work, according to the OMA. Another hot-button issue during negotiations was the big pay gaps in medicine. A September 2018 report from the OMA acknowledges income relativity disparities between specialists such as radiologists, ophthalmologists, cardiologists known as the Big Three and others such as infectious disease specialists, neurosurgeons and geriatric physicians. Two months later, specialists from eight highly paid disciplines, including the Big Three, voted to break away from the OMA, unhappy with the way the organization had been representing them in contract deliberations with the province. The Big Three also made up a large part of two smaller groups of doctors who, along with the OMA, tried to block the Stars legal bid to get details of the top billers. The next phase of arbitration, which the OMA is currently in the midst of, will look into how the pool of money for doctors is divided, and the gaps between different specialties. This controversial process is known as achieving relativity. The list of the Top 15 billing doctors from 2011 to 2018 includes six ophthalmologists, two radiologists and three cardiologists. Two OB-GYNs, one anesthesiologist, who was working in a private pain clinic, and one internal medicine specialist make up the rest of the group. Mobile users click here to view the most common specialities of the 194 top billers since 2011 The Big Three specialties have historically been highly paid because ophthalmology and cardiology involve a high volume of services, and big ticket items like complicated eye surgeries. Radiology procedures have a lower average fee code price, but a very high volume of services, according to the 2016 Auditor General Report. Radiologists doctors who specialize in diagnosing and treating patients using medical imaging such as X-rays, CT scans, and MRIs have overheads of 70 per cent or higher, according to a written statement from the Ontario Association of Radiologists, in response to questions from the Star. Almost 50 per cent of our services are delivered after hours on a 24/7/365 basis, the association wrote, adding compensation reflects additional training, which takes a minimum of 10 years after undergrad. Overhead costs for cardiologists, who diagnose and treat diseases and conditions of the cardiovascular system, are also significant, added Tim Holman, executive director of the Ontario Association of Cardiologists, in an email. This imbalance between specialties plays a part in a serious gender pay gap in the field, says Ivy Bourgeault, professor in the Telfer School of Management and the Institute of Population Health at the University of Ottawa. Thirty-nine per cent of physicians in Ontario are women, according to the most recent figures from CIHI. But only nine of the 194 overall top billers are women less than 5 per cent. The fee codes for procedures are the same regardless of the gender of the person billing, Bourgeault notes. But procedural, task-based specialties like ophthalmology and cardiology are in general better paid than more cognitive specialties such as pediatrics or geriatrics. Women as residents are channelled into the more cognitive, lower-paid areas either implicitly or explicitly, she said, calling for a review of the fee codes from a pay-equity perspective. The more highly remunerative specialties have fewer women in them and in the more poorly remunerated specialties you have more women. Gandhi responded that pay equity is an important issue. The reasons for this are not completely clear and investigation into causes is the first step in addressing it, he added. These kinds of discussions about health care spending have traditionally been behind closed doors. But Kathleen Finlay, CEO and founder of the Toronto-based patient advocacy group, the Center for Patient Protection, believes more transparency in billings would contribute to public debate about where health-care dollars are going. Transparency helps to build the trust the system must have if its going to meet the needs of patients and families, she wrote in an email. And, to be honest, if we dont get a better handle on where all our health-care dollars go and everyone is able to measure that return the system at some point will become unsustainable. First of a continuing series. Mobile users click here to read how the Star battled to get the names of the highest billing doctors With files from Jesse McLean, Jacques Gallant, Toronto Star Library, Star staff May Warren is a breaking news reporter based in Toronto. Follow her on Twitter: @maywarren11 Theresa Boyle is a Toronto-based reporter covering health. Follow her on Twitter: @theresaboyle

Hey J! So I left a question in this tarot group I'm in on FB but most of the people in there seem to be old white people™ you know the ones, who think they're better than any other reader ever. Anyways I asked if white people should buy POC featured decks or if that isn't for us and better left alone. And I mentioned I'm afraid that if not enough people purchase them that there won't be many. And then some white people made comments asking why I made it about race etc. cont..

.. and then someone said that POC buy from POC only and I was mistaken that there wouldn’t be enough people to have POC featured decks and I guess I was thinking about it from a Tumblr™ perspective where I see “local” POC trying to gofund their decks or get them off the ground. Ugh idk. Was I being disrespectful in asking that? I think POC decks are lovely and would love to support the artist but understand if it’s not for white people which is all I asked. I guess FB is the wrong place for that

hello! thank you for asking my input! a little background info before i answer this, tho!the way i was raised, i didn’t notice skin tone/differences in race until i went to school and had to notice it. but because of the way i was taught, i still don’t really notice different skin tones as much/dont see them as an important factor in things. i mean, yea, i do notice when events/whatever are predominantly white bc i’ve been trained to notice it due to the ppl around me? but it doesnt really matter to me. 

SO! with that said, i think that the group that you are in is incorrect. i think your question was valid bc its a valid concern, but i don’t think it matters! if you think the deck is pretty and you want to support the artists, then by all means, support the artist!!! that is a great thing to do. 

when they said that POC only buy from POC they are quite incorrect !!! like anything, you can’t really generalize a whole community, especially one as large as the POC community which encompasses soooo many different races and ethnicities. for me, personally, i really do not have any preference on whom i buy from. it just depends on the quality of the product, for me! 

in summary, i think the FB group was incorrect and that you’re fine to buy the tarot decks! supporting the artist and liking the art is such a pure motive, i don’t see why there should be a problem with it :o)