#like its not even a groundbreaking concept but something about it just made me go crazy go stupid
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I'm so happy to see you getting active again. Honestly, I thought this account just died 😅😅😅😅😅.
I have fallen in love with your posts, especially those meta analysis about Comte are so on-point. I can't wait to see your reviews about his drama CD.
Also, have you seen Comte’s 6th birthday story? I saw the CG but I dont have the chance to read the story. Is ok if you also give some spoilers about it? 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Glad to be back! Sorry for the scare--life just got ahead of me, and alas my spoons were limited and focused on survival. That being said, I've still been reading/translating his stories, so I have indeed seen Comte's 6th bday story.
I think you've given me a bit too much power 🤣 but I'm happy to gush about Comte anytime. Since I'm going to discuss something that hasn't been released in the English version yet, the deets will be under a cut.
A reminder that I'm not a professional, so this is by no means an infallible translation. I try to convey what I find to the best of my ability, but I'm sure there are nuances I miss.
Where to begin? Honestly this story was A Lot, and arguably among my favorites, but the title of the CG/story is allegedly "Courtship at the Nape of the Neck." Get hyped, y'all--if I understood things correctly, it's exactly as it sounds.
The story begins with MC and Comte on their way to a ball for his birthday, and MC is all like "honey. When I said I wanted this day to be for you. That did not mean. Another dress for me." To which Comte's response is "New phone, who dis."
All jokes aside, MC does feel bad about it but he insists it makes him very happy, so she concedes:
MC: You got me a dress as a gift again…despite the fact that it’s your birthday;;;
I smiled at MC, who seemed to feel bad about it.
Comte: It’s because it’s my birthday that I gave you that dress. It’s my greatest pleasure to gift them to you, and accompany you in it.
I reached out beside me to stroke her hair gently.
Comte: It’s always fun to think about what kind of dress would suit you…And besides, when I see you all dressed up like this, I can’t help but fall in love with you all over again.
MC then mentions that she's made him a gift, and downplays it--likely out of shyness--before handing it over.
It was a handkerchief with a simple yet elegant design, with a name embroidered on it.
Comte: Did you embroider this yourself? How did you prepare such a wonderful thing?
MC: Hehe, I did my best under Sebastian’s guidance.
(To do something this intricate by hand would have taken quite a bit of time…)
Comte: Thank you, MC. I’ll treasure it.
I felt a warmth fill my chest at the sweet gesture, and I dropped a kiss to the handkerchief I received.
Comte: I’d prefer to be kissing you, but I fear if I do I won’t want to get out of the carriage after I start.
So like, yes, take a moment to scream, because wow. First of all, how dare you Abel. Second of all, AAAAAAAAAAA IT'S SO SUBTLE AND SWEET BUT ALSO LOWKEY SULTRY HOW DARE!!! I will have my r e v e n g e--
But also??? Aside from my brainworms, I really do love this part of him. Even though her gift is simple, he really does cherish the effort and dedication she put into making him something. I guess I think about how someone in his position could easily downplay its significance--but he doesn’t. He’s mindful of how her feelings saturate the act, and he honors it openly. And in case you think this is a one-off instance, it really isn’t. In his Anniversary story event, there is a direct emphasis on how he still keeps MC’s wedding gift to him--the preserved flower pins--polished as if they were newly gifted to him, not a speck of dust clouding their surface, lovingly tended.
I think it’s very easy for people to minimize him as unfeeling or haughty the way only very rich people can be, but...the his character construction and the intimate personal details you see if you’re close to him reveal that he doesn’t really fit that stereotype at all. Sure he’s selective about who he shares himself with, but that doesn’t make him fundamentally shallow.
Moving right along, MC gets bashful (and honestly who could blame her idk how she even makes sustained eye contact help) and they arrive at the venue in short order. None of this is especially notable except that it says, when they exit the carriage:
Her small, lovely hand covered the one I gently held out for her to take.
Thanks! I'm devastated!!! You just broke down adoration to its bare essentials!!!! I'm a romantic for one person and one person only, and it's HIM--
Naturally, they enter the ballroom and everyone flocks over to congratulate Comte on his birthday. Gracious and measured as ever, he accepts each one in turn, but MC is silent/stiff for most of it. All of a sudden, MC says she's going to get some fresh air and slips away to the balcony to clear her head. Comte is understandably confused and tries to follow after her, until he's intercepted by another noblewoman.
(What’s the matter…? It’s not like her to leave on her own like that so suddenly.)
When I tried to follow her at once--
Well-dressed noblewoman: Wait, Comte
As soon as I’m stopped by the woman, melodious music swells to fill the hall.
Well-dressed noblewoman: I’d love to spend some time with le Comte tonight. Won’t you share a dance with me?
A woman with a charming smile from the past crossed my mind.
(In the past, when I hadn’t been in love, I would have accepted such an invitation for the sake of simply enjoying the novelty of a single moment; that ephemeral warmth was something I relied on in the endless sea of loneliness that was eternity.)
--But now, I don’t feel that way anymore.
(Because I met MC.)
Comte: I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I’m already accounted for. Have a pleasant rest of the night, young lady.
So after Comte picks the correct answer, he continues on his way to the balcony and finds MC staring up at the sky.
Aight so like. I love when they have a certain writer create these stories, because they literally always make MC the strong and silent (stoic/defensive) type and Comte her little meow meow. It may be specific to me and my tastes but I love it here and I'm never leaving.
Before I add the transcription, I will say that I'm not really sure the "were you crying? did someone bully you?" part was something I fully understood. It appeared to be some kind of idiom/nuance the translator struggled to pick-up on, so I apologize for that. But it is my understanding that he's alluding to MC being picked on/unhappy.
When MC turned around, she had a surprised but also somewhat anxious look on her face.
(If I try to ask her what’s wrong…she’ll say it’s nothing. In that case…)
Comte: Were you crying? Did someone bully you?
MC’s expression relaxed a little at my dramatics.
MC: What are you on about, I wasn’t crying or bullied. But if I was crying…what would you do?
Though she throws the question back at me, I smile in response.
Comte: A gentleman's handkerchief is there to wipe away a lady's tears. I would tend to you with the very handkerchief you gifted me tonight.
MC: Thank you. But, I’m not one to shed tears so easily.
Comte: That’s right, you’re very strong.
The anxiety that clouded her expression earlier has faded away now, and she’s smiling.
I hold my hand out to MC once again…
MC: Yes, with pleasure.
Y'all but the way she claps back, and then he kills with that line about the handkerchief. God damn sir, if nothing else you get full points for incredible verbal repartee. (Lowkey, I’d make out with him for his emotional intelligence alone, don’t look at me.)
Okay but because I can’t help myself. I love how he’s like. I’m No Gentleman, MC. I Am A Liar.
Also Comte: A gEnTlEmAn’S HaNdKeRcHieF iS tHeRe To--
Mfer certainly knows how to lay down the charm when he wants to cheer her up--
After that, it simply says they spend a lovely evening together and then cuts to them relaxing in a hotel near the venue. Cuddled together (GOD I WISH THAT WERE ME), MC eventually speaks up to explain what happened earlier that night.
MC: Hey, Comte…
MC is picking at the hem of her clothes absently when she calls out to me.
Comte: What’s the matter?
I caress her hair to encourage her to continue, and she slowly opens her mouth as if she were choosing her words very carefully.
MC: When I was on the balcony earlier tonight…I wasn’t crying, but I was pretty frustrated with myself. I saw so many beautiful women giving you their congratulations tonight, I can’t help but worry you’ll be snatched away from me…I’m sorry you had to see me like this on your special day…
So, in the immortal words of Beyonce, "What's worse, looking jealous or crazy? Jealous or crazy?" is basically the mood of this whole scene. I'm usually not the territorial type, but I wouldn't even blame MC for getting pissed--nobody likes to see other women ogle/grab at ya mans (especially when ya mans is Comte).
Also beginning to wonder if Comte has a certain interest in MC’s hair 🤔
(I see now, so that’s why)
Comte: MC
After hearing such a cute confession, my fingers moved from her hair to stroke her cheek.
Comte: It’s all right, you have nothing to apologize for. Besides which, I know how you feel--I’ve been jealous/frustrated plenty of times too.
MC: Oh…like when?
Comte: Always/All the time.
MC suddenly looks at me, looking as if she really hadn’t been aware of it.
Okay but when he just gives that flat expression and goes "ALWAYS" without hesitation, I nearly started wheezing with laughter. Petty and glamorous, I love him your honor it's not a phase!!!!
Comte: Today, for instance, that Baron who was in love with you from the moment you stepped into the hall. A young waiter brushed his hand against yours while handing you a champagne glass. Every time I see another man taken with you, my heart is agitated.
(Of course, it’s not limited to just today. It’s been like this ever since I fell in love with you…)
Comte: Rather immature for someone like me, isn’t it?
MC: Comte…
Comte: But now…I’m not the only one who feels that way anymore.
I wrapped my arm around her delicate waist and hugged her close, a sweet scent catching my attention.
Comte: Come, MC.
Just the thought of him seething because some random waiter brushed MC's hand literally just. Sent me. Like straight up astral projection, that is so much I had to stare at the nearest wall to cope. And like I'm not sure if it's the same guy, but I have to wonder if the Baron he's talking about is the one that hit on her in Comte's rt--because if that's the case, that would be hysterically funny. At the same time if it’s literally just some random dude that thought MC was pretty at first sight, that is somehow even funnier. Le Comte de "Peace was never an option" Saint Germain. Monsieur le “Don’t even think about looking at my wife. Walk away.” Comte.
I live for it, I love it, I regret absolutely nothing!!!!
I escort her to bed and sit with MC in my arms. I kissed her soft hair and laid my forehead on hers.
Comte: You belong to me, and I belong to you.
MC: Co--Abel…
She calls my name and settles against my chest, and I’m filled with such affection for her.
Comte: You’re so cute…Telling me all about the frustration and the bullying honestly. You’re so lovely I want to bite you.
"You belong to me, and I belong to you." SCREAMING, CRYING, THROWING UP THAT'S SO ROMANTIC AND TENDER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
"You're so lovely I want to bite you." Do you promise. I want it in writing. 👁✒️
Then MC, who was silent as if she were thinking about something deeply, looks up--
Comte: …what is it, MC?
She pinches the skin of my neck between her lips and nips at me.
MC: I want to bite you too…I love Abel so much…
She keeps nipping at me, her soft lips nearly ticklish against my skin.
(I can’t believe you’re doing this…) NARUTO VOICE: BELIEVE IT!!!
She bit me lightly, and our eyes met.
MC: Am I the only one…allowed to do this to you?
Comte: Yes, of course…you can…bite me harder
So like. I'm aware I've already had several episodes in the process of recounting this birthday story and I apologize for the moments where I breach containment--But.
Bite.
Me.
Harder.
Wow, thanks, none of my thoughts are holy and I am forever changed. I am not going to heaven, and I'm okay with that. I lived, and that's what matters. BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK--
Also yes MC, girl get it!!! Go MC, go!!!!!! Live your best life!!!!!! Get his ass!!!!!
I leaned back to give her more room and she nodded, digging her blunt little teeth into me. The slightest pain is followed by a feverish arousal that blooms from my chest outward.
(I want to bite you even now, I want to love you forever)
MC: Abel…
She called my name again, as if she could sense the urge rising from deep inside me.
MC: I’m the only one who you will bite one day.
Comte: …Of course
(I only want you)
The reversal/mirroring???? The intimacy????? Comte being blindsided but literally out of his mind in love?????? Help??????? It’s more than I can bear??????
This is especially insane to me on the level of like. The game is pretty clear about how biting your lover (at least for vampires) is a mutually understood sign of courtship. It’s a clear sign of who your lover is. And the fact that MC uses that sign to convey her feelings despite being human????? As the signal that she’s ready to fully be his and wants no one else to be able to interfere with that??????? Long time coming but also BWAH, BWAH BWAH BWAH BWAH
The other part of the end that kills me is that. They make love. With her fully dressed. And sure not necessarily that notable out of context, HOWEVER. BECAUSE I NEED TO DIE ON THIS HILL. What he specifically says is:
I reach to undo her dress--before my hands freeze.
[Comte: It’s always fun to think about what kind of dress would suit you…And besides, when I see you all dressed up like this, I can’t help but fall in love with you all over again.] (He’s remembering what he said before.)
Comte: I’ll make love to you as you are tonight. You’re dressed up to my liking, after all.
For those of you who haven’t seen the CG. MC. Is in a black dress. With sleeves that are see-through. Low cut bust. A long and visible thigh slit. With slight gold accents.
SIR. SHE IS DRESSED. TO YOUR LIKING????????????
At this point I’m convinced Cybird wants me to be in palpitations before the game ends for good. So much for Mr. Prim and Proper, I know you nasty Comte--
The rest of the bits are fairly raunchy so I’ll forgo that (let it be known simply that he is a firm believer in foreplay) but there are a few lines that I want to focus on.
(You haven’t the slightest idea how captivated I am, do you?)
[He asks her to say what he can only hear on his bday, and naturally she says happy bday.]
The heat of where our bodies are connected, her voice crying out for more, my heart and soul are on fire with the twin calls.
Comte: MC…
I kiss her tears away before connecting our lips with a smile…
Comte: I love you, too
(MC, you are the best gift of my life.)
With a feeling that is equal to eternity, I dropped my lips to her delicate neckline and…--
A lot to unpack here, but I will try (and fail) to remain composed as we go through each one.
“MC, you are the best gift of my life.” Like. Sincerely don’t even know how to approach this one. I have no clever witticisms. No trite commentary. Literally it is just beyond touching...[insert your preferred sobbing meme here]. It’s an odd feeling because honestly it doesn’t even feel like a surprise; his actions 100% substantiate what he’s expressed. It feels more like the inevitable culmination of his devotion up to this point. But there’s just something about the way it’s crystallized into that simple but enormous sentiment. That she was something unexpected, but not only welcome--accepted with such gratitude and joy. 11/10 I was not okay when I first read it and I’m not even okay now, every minute is half-catatonic.
And now to the question many of you probably have as you wait for me to address it. Did he..........b i t e bite her? The answer is I have no freakin’ idea. That’s where the story ends, and there’s no itemized specification as to how he bites her. But the phrasing keeps bothering me. If it were just another harmless love bite--as we’ve seen him do before--it’s never prefaced with “a feeling equal to eternity.” That kind of distinction is only made when he’s talking about how he changed the men into turned vampires when he found them.
Additionally, so many of his most recent stories have featured MC as a vampire (AU settings) but also in the most recent Christmas story (in the normal mansion setting), he gets extremely close to biting her for real--the closest I’ve ever seen, up to this point.
Granted all I can really do is speculate, but I will say it feels skewed in the direction of “holy shit he bit her for real, this is not a drill, LET’S GOOOOOOO Y O O O O O O”
I hope this summary was as cathartic for you as it was for me. But yeah!!! This is the vast majority of the contents ✌🏼💛
#asks#ikevamp#ikemen vampire#ikevamp comte#ikevamp saint germain#ikevamp translation#ikevamp meta#ikevamp comte birthday#local comteologist speaks#honestly my life was before and after this event#it wasn't the most intricate one but it gave me Everything I've Ever Wanted#satisfaction factor? Immeasurable#man bite me harder#top ten phrases to make a woman lose her mind folks#I think the only thing I've seen in his stories recently that sent me half as feral#is when he asked her to lick his fangs mid-kiss#like 1. was not expecting that#2. once again none of my thoughts are holy why is that so insanely hot--#like its not even a groundbreaking concept but something about it just made me go crazy go stupid#how can one man be so considerate and affectionate but also just. devastatingly sexy#who gave him the right!!!!!#now if you'll excuse me im going to reread his cinderella collection event story and think about all my feelings#with regards from your favorite jester in love with comte#may you enjoy this rambling overview#and have a lovely rest of your night#not to ruffle any feathers but at this point i dont know how he's fooled so many people into thinking he's the dom/forthright type#(fooled people including me a short time ago)#i am seconds from kabedoning him myself--#also sorry for any weird formatting i swear tumblr was not cooperating (more than usual)
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Struck By Cupid's Arrow (Daryl Dixon x Reader)
Description: It's Valentine's Day (or close to it, at least), and you're trying to come up with the perfect gift for Daryl. Gender isn't specified, no use of (Y/N). [Also I wrote this in February, and haven't wrote in awhile. I apologize if this is kinda bleh, but I figured it was decent enough to post here lololol]
Words: 1,280
Warnings: nothing but sappy good times
You sat at the small, cluttered desk in your bedroom, peering out the window as you watch the trees sway with the bitingly cold wind; the branches and ground below were covered in a blanket of snow. You thought maybe if you watched nature do its thing, you'd find that groundbreaking inspiration for the project you were working on, because Valentine's Day was rearing it's soft, rosey face right around the corner, and you had no clue what to give your boyfriend.
Balls of paper were crumpled at your feet, each one containing a sappy poem scribbled inside. Your hand lay still on the paper with a pen gently nestled between your index and thumb.
"Why is this so hard?! I jus- aw, biscuits!" The pen had left an inky puddle onto the paper. You sigh, wadding it up and tossing it behind with the others. Everything had to be perfect. This was your first Valentine's Day as a real couple, and you'd be damned if things weren't gonna go as planned.
"You know what," you speak to yourself, pulling out a pair of scissors and red construction paper, "I'll just make a card." You always thought you were at least halfway decent with the whole "arts-and-crafts" thing, so why not put your skills to the test and just craft something together.
After a another few failed attempts, you look at the little arrow-pierced heart with a slight sense of pride. It looked (almost) like a card you'd find at the store! The hard part is coming up with something on the inside.
You chew absentmindedly on the end of your pen as you ponder over good one-liners, then it hit you. A smile stretches across your face as the ink flows gracefully against the paper.
'Cupid, you've struck me with your arrow ♡' '
It was cheesey, sure, but the sentiment and meaning was still there.
Your heart gives a giddy leap as you think about giving it to Daryl. Even before, this time of year always brought joy to you. You loved nothing more than to, well, love. Whether it was family or friends, but this time? You had someone to call yours, someone to share a romantic love with, and that brought even more happiness to you.
The plan was for Daryl to stop by in the evening, and the two of you would exchange gifts then. You had annoyed Daryl about it all week.
"Hey, don't forget we've got Valentine's plans in a few days!"
"How could I forget when ya've been talkin' my ear off about it every damn near day."
Right on schedule, there was a gentle rapping at the door, and you practically flung your self down the stairs with your hand-made gift behind your back. You opened the door with an excited, "Hi!!" and invited the man in, giving him a quick peck to the lips.
Candles dimly lit the living room, their sweet, alluring aroma filled the air. You really did put in some thought to this, wanting every second to be magical. Daryl was not one to "celebrate" this kind of holiday, unlike you. He never really saw himself as romantic, or loving for that matter. He didn't understand the whole concept of a day revolving around chocolates and flowers, or couples being ext-
"Do you want a glass of wine?"
That piqued his interest. He follows you over to the couch as you tried your best to keep the card hidden from sight before "discreetly" setting it on the end table under a book, and take a seat.
The cork releases from the bottle with a loud 'pop!' and you fill both glasses about halfway.
"I would've made a spaghetti dinner to go along, but I don't have spaghetti." You tell him, a small frown etched on your face.
"S'alright," he replies, reaching for the wine and taking a gulp, "you've done plenty." His words were sincere and you could just melt with the love you felt for him.
"Mm-" he let out a noise of acknowledgement with another mouth full, "almos' forgot." He pulls out a silvery chain and gestures for you to turn around.
"I thought you said you weren't gonna forget," You taunted, a playful smirk playing at your lips.
"Shut up an' close yer eyes."
The cool metal nips at your neck, contradicting the warmth of Daryl's fingers. That familiar fluttery feeling worms its way into your chest again as you grow more and more eager to see what laid so delicately at your chest.
Daryl grunts, signaling you to open your eyes, and you let out a happy little gasp. The most beautiful, dainty moonstone necklace wrapped with wire in the shape of the tree of life sat so sweetly against your skin, glimmering in the candle light.
"Found it in one o'them gift shops up the way. Reminded me of ya."
You turn back to the archer, engulfing him in a hug. He tenses a bit at your touch, but just as quick melts into your arms, hugging you back.
"This is so sweet of you! And all I did was make you a-"
You pull away, a wave of embarrassment coating your cheeks with a warm kiss.
"What'd'ja make me?" He pushes, curiosity lacing his voice.
'Oh, god. He's not gonna like my gift. He got me a gem and I made a dinky little card.'
"Um," you start, averting your gaze, "I don't wanna exchange gifts anymore."
You go to stand up, but quickly get pulled back down by your wrist.
"Ya did not talk m' damn ear off abou' this holiday fer days jus' to chicken out at th' las' second."
The two of you stare into each other's eyes at a stalemate.
"I ain't leavin' without no gift." He finalized, leaning back into the couch with his foot resting over his knee.
'Crap.'
You reach behind you, carefully holding your little card in both hands and shyly hand it to him, "don't laugh."
His brow creases as he takes the gift into his hold, looking over every detail and snip you made before opening it.
You palms grow clammy as you watch his eyes flick over the words inside, and his mouth noticeably twitches.
'Fuck, he's gonna laugh at me he thinks it's stupid.'
"I love this." He admitted, a gentle half-smile danced on his face.
'Oh?'
"You, uh- you do?"
He nods, "yeah." His chest swarms with tender love as he reads over it one more time. Not many people have done what you did to express their love or appreciation for him. The fact it was all hand-made, and the time it must've taken to set everything up helped him come to the realization that he is loved.
Daryl may still not totally get the hype for this holiday, but after everything you do for him, he does understand what it's like to be struck by cupid's arrow.
#fanfiction#daryl x you#daryl fanfiction#daryl x reader#twd#twd x you#twd x reader#the walking dead#beginner writer#writeblr#daryl dixon#daryl dixon x reader#daryl dixon fluff
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1, 10, and 15 for the ask meme...... IF THEY HAVEN'T BEEN ASKED YET.....
haha you're the first one so.
what is thanatica?
well, as you said - it's a concept. it's a child's idea of how stuff works (because of course it is), but also a representation of an idea. Daniil is the controversial groundbreaking scientist from the big city, so he has his..lab..thing; the backstory I think is very much meant to be... "archetypal" in a way, rather than specific.
that being said, I have been for months poking at a prequel fic so I do have some more... grounded headcanons. so in that universe, existing for purposes of writing out an actual plot as opposed to purposes of analysing the game purely theoretically, well. it is a disused laboratory space that Daniil talked the university administration into giving to him, with the backing of one of his teachers; it is, then, briefly, something with the ambitions and prospects of becoming an entire department, or maybe even an institution unto itself, but that never quite came to pass. it's kinda funny because sometimes the way Daniil talks about it sounds like a whole research institute he established, which given his age and degree, I'm 🤨 doubtful; but then again of course, as per my first point, it doesn't need to make sense in real world terms. but in the grounded universe, I'm gonna say it was a small semi-independent research group in an almost perpetual state of struggling for its own viability, but Daniil is at a certain point reflexively making it sound grander to convince himself and everyone else that this is really something. he's not lying, he just really believes in himself, god bless him.
10. any idea what will happen to them in the bachelor route?
god, I don't know. mainly just keeping my fingers crossed they'll get fleshed out nicely, and hoping for some good conversations; loved talking to the Stamatins in classic but in p2 their dialogue was kinda meh, but hoping that's just because they weren't relevant enough to Artemy's journey. but idk, I've made no secret of the fact that patho classic and the characters as they appear there are very dear to me and I'm very attached to them and the prospect of a new version scares me a little because p2 was an extremely mixed bag for me, doing some things I really liked, some I was neutral to, and quite a few I really disliked, so. I wanna trust IPL but I do not entirely, and prefer not to make any theories or wishlists.
15. pick a barnett newman painting for each of them
your choices were very good & I needed to go in a completely different direction to not feel like I'm copying you, so, from the page you linked:
Daniil: whatever it was meant to be, it's fraying at the edges and hollow in the middle. or it's a door; you choose. or maybe it just reminded me of his coat.
Andrey: it is chaotic, disruptive, a show of contrasting the other ones; a sort of purposeful playing into that expectation. or maybe it just reminded me of his necklaces.
Peter: it is the picture of an obsession: a single vector, emitting both light and dark. or maybe I was just influenced by your choice.
Farkhad: in some ways similar to both, all in all different. unsettled, off-kilter; a discordant note.
(the questions)
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You are so right when you say that TOH always tries to separate itself as being different or better than other fantasy shows or kids' shows while not actually doing anything particularly special. Your blog is what made me realize that this aspect of TOH more than anything else is what frustrates me about it. Because honestly I don't need kids' cartoons to be amazing and groundbreaking. It's great when they are, I love Steven Universe which I think took way more risks than TOH did and was way more unique. But I also had a lot of fun with MLP which in the balance was a pretty generic kids' cartoon. I found it entertaining and comforting and I liked the characters, but it was a pretty simple show. But MLP also never really asked you to think it was anything else. It knew what it was, it was good at what it was, and you could take it or leave it. Meanwhile TOH simultaneously refuses to accept that it's fundamentally a pretty basic kids' fantasy narrative, while also refusing to take any real risks with its storytelling that would push it beyond being a basic kids' fantasy show. So there's a disconnect between what the show wants me to believe and what I'm actually seeing on screen. And that disconnect is the source of my frustration with the show. I do still think it's fun. But it frustrates me. And I like reading your blog because I feel like you've helped me put into words some of the reasons why. 🦎
So this strikes a cord with me that makes me want to ask a question back: When did a good story stop being enough for people?
I'm going to go WAY left field for my example here. Like... Maybe ruin my credibility left field for this one but it's the one I always think of with this.
Why were we all too good for the Emoji movie? I saw it WAY after it came out because my parents have On Demand and told me they liked it. So I was like "I mean, worse case scenario it's probably laughably bad. May as well try it while I'm living with them."
And it's not a bad movie. Like at all. Is it better than TOH? Probably not but I don't know how much worse I'd consider it either in hindsight. It does a LOT with its gimmick, is pretty fun throughout the whole thing and actually has a good theme for the concept of emojis with the idea that... Yeah, one emoji is really hard to express complex feelings with and what succeeds at the end of the day is someone breaking their singular emotion into something grander than that. Their self expression mattered and their want for expression played into the grand problem that was going to get them all killed.
Is it groundbreaking? God no. This concept isn't anything new, it's not done in a particularly special way, none of its twists are novel, even when done well, and its humor is nothing to write home about. It's got some good jokes, it's got some bad jokes.
Overall though... It's just a solid, basic story told well. This is actually like 90% of the success of Hi-Fi Rush's story. That game has about as basic of a plot as you can get without devolving into "Save the princess" with only two real twists, neither of which are that huge, even if they're fun. However, that story takes its gimmicks and runs like hell with them and does a really good job of telling a story about a group of rebels coming together, growing and beating the bad guy.
I would say the only 'brave' thing about is that the first two characters in the band of rebels are kind of assholes but lovable ones and that's hardly a risk when one of Marvel's most beloved series right now is Guardians of the Galaxy. But it works. It uses its tropes well, it's incredibly charming and the cast is incredibly likable. It also knows when to stop being funny for a moment of humanity, unlike Marvel movies, and gut punches you a couple times with the subtle but definitely there growth of the characters.
Both of these, in the elements that work for them, because there are parts of the Emoji movie that are not good, have a common trait. It's actually the trait that most makes me think that I, as a writer, couldn't ever make something that truly feels like TOH.
Sincerity. A lot of basic stories when told well shine through with their sincerity. It's part of why a remake of something can feel so much more lifeless going through the same plot beats because those small changes made to 'modernize' or have 'meta commentary' etc. like that (think the majority of Disney Live Action remakes) aren't sincere. They're calculated, smug and obnoxious oftentimes and not nearly as heartfelt as the original pieces' choices.
Another example but not animated: John Wick. On paper, it's a bog standard revenge story. In practice, that movie is going so hard, committing so full force to EVERY creative decision it has and not blinking at anything that could even be considered silly, while recognizing when it's going for a silly tone, that it is my FAVORITE action movie. Period. And again, above anything else, sincerity to the tropes of John being this mythical figure, the fun of all the fights it can show, etc. like that is what sells that movie.
God I wish I liked 2 or 3. What a fucking waste 3 was. In my opinion.
So yeah, I agree. I don't know why TOH decided it had to be so smug and egotistical and what not about its tropes when sincerity is enough.
...
..............
Okay, I have to bring up the other side of this coin, partially because I'm writing this while building up to Crises Girlfriends' original release.
Sincerity is great. What the fuck is the marketing pitch for sincerity? I've been pushing the fact that Crises Girlfriends is from someone who actually has these issues, that it tries to handle depression and the like better than most media because it's kind of the marketing point. I'd MUCH rather just tell you "I think I did a great job with the characters, their development and their relationship" and just sell you on it being a good romance but... What makes it special versus any other romance title out there?
I'm not actually even going to use TOH as my flip example for this. Yes, a LOT of people use TOH's subversive element to sell it, just like Warrior Nun's community only ever let me know it was gay, but I've got an even older example:
Gravity Falls. It took me FOREVER to hear someone say literally anything about the characters in that show. Before then, all I heard about was the mystery. How amazing its little Easter Eggs were. And why not? I've seen a couple episodes. It's a pretty damn good, but not special, modern fantasy show that's taking after stuff like the Spiderwick Chronicles. So if a fan wants to tell me why I should watch it over, say, Randy Cunningham, why not go with the genre blend that is actually pretty different for a kid's cartoon.
I feel like that's probably at least half the reason people kept calling TOH horror at one point and I'm happy that stopped.
With all of that said, there's still a difference. Gravity Falls' mystery doesn't actively mock the tropes it itself is using. It is genuinely enjoyable, even if you don't care about the mystery and the mystery is more than just a marketing gimmick. For Crises Girlfriends, I literally have chapters dedicated to teaching some of the lessons I've learned in therapy that have helped me and make sense for the characters in question to get better.
You can call these gimmicks but it's more that the concept is being properly used. That's where TOH, and the Disney Live Action remakes frankly, fail. The marketing gimmick IS the substance. They want you to post on Twitter about how bold it is for Disney to be doing X. That it's not like other shows. That it's not like the old Disney movies or fantasy movies in general that you know.
Which is frankly hilarious when people try to say TOH was shortened because it doesn't fit in with the Disney brand. Laughing at itself while actually being as corporate and bland as it's trying to claim it's not is an entire branch of Disney. People have been eating up since Frozen though.
This actually led to me commenting on Twitter a while back that if the 90s were the age of irony as I've been told, the 2010s, from Disney to Game of Thrones, etc. like that might be the age of subversion. Where the story be damned, so long as we can claim to be more clever than we actually are, that's what's important. So long as we do something the audience isn't expecting. And it started in earnest with Frozen because... I'm sorry that movie is good, perfectly fine popcorn, but not the god damned masterpiece that it was heralded as when it first came out and I feel like a lot of the narrative praise for it was specifically because it was mocking Disney narrative tropes.
It did so well though that it sent ripples out though. Some are doing it smart, some are not. I bet Rise of the TMNT is the way it is because the team being actually good warriors that feel trained by a proper master is what's expected so leaning on the teenage side and them not being the best, but not bad, is subversive theoretically. Subversive in a way that is actually useful for new stories and ideas to be told though. It's a smart way of doing it.
Meanwhile, TOH asks the bold question of "What if the pointless romantic subplot in most fantasy stories was gay?" And then puts it in a world where a gay romance will be treated the same way as a straight romance.
The point is it's not clever. But it sure is good for making posts on Twitter, isn't it?
Frankly, there are a lot of elements to TOH that I think are chosen partially for social media bait and a LOOOOOT of them have to do with Hexide. That is a different blog.
And hey... If you want someone who's sincere... Well, here are my normal links because it's still my job. I just wish I could tell you a better pitch than my goal is to just make a good story. Before anything else, that's all I want to do.
I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!
I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past.
I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead,
If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.
And finally a Twitter you can follow too!
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Going into the Dragon Ball fandom, I wasn't expecting it to resonate with me as much as it did. Initially, I had only really heard about the "It's over 9000" meme, until a friend in my Discord community shared clips of DBZA in October of 2023. While watching the parody, I was immediately drawn to the relationship between Gohan and Goku, which felt surprisingly genuine, even amidst comedic exaggeration. This led me to dive into the actual anime series, and I was captivated by the intricate storytelling, intense battles, and the development of characters beyond their initial impressions. I found myself drawn towards the Tournament of Power arc and, having been part of the Ninjago Fandom, another community that took stories meant for a younger audience and expanded upon them unexpectedly, I appreciated the depth that Dragon Ball offered.
The Tournament of Power, with its vast array of characters from different universes, each with their unique abilities and backgrounds, was a spectacle that kept me eagerly anticipating each new episode. The stakes were high, the action was intense, and the emotional moments genuinely moved me. It was during this arc that I truly understood the enduring appeal of Dragon Ball. As I explored the lore and intricacies of the Dragon Ball universe, I was impressed by how the series evolved. It wasn't just about the battles and power-ups; it was also about exploring the moral dilemmas faced by the characters, the consequences of their actions, and the exploration of the multiverse concept.
What struck me the most was the complex character development. Dragon Ball went beyond the stereotypical hero-villain dynamics, portraying characters with shades of gray, making them relatable, and adding layers to their personalities (something I've been exploring in my FSMR Ninjago AU). Being part of the Ninjago Fandom, where fans often contributed to the narrative through various mediums, I was pleasantly surprised to find a similar creative energy within the Dragon Ball community. Fan theories, fan art, and fan-made content added a new dimension to my experience, allowing me to engage with the series in ways I hadn't anticipated.
Thus began my journey with this story. I initially read stories revolving around the post-Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero movie and my adoration for Gohan reached an all-time high. As a character, Gohan had already become a favorite of mine during the Tournament of Power arc. His growth from a timid child to a formidable warrior and his genuine kindness and intellect resonated with me. He reminded me of myself at times, and the headcanons revolving around his trauma struck a chord within me that I hadn't expected. The exploration of Gohan's character, both in the official material and the fan-created content, became a focal point of my journey into the Dragon Ball fandom.
Gohan's evolution remained a central theme in the post-Super Hero movie stories. The narratives delved into the aftermath of the events, his relationships with other characters, and his personal struggles. The fan-created stories, much like the Ninjago AU content I was familiar with, showcased the depth of creativity within the Dragon Ball community. Fan writers and artists took Gohan on new adventures, exploring facets of his character that hadn't been fully realized in the official material.
The themes of trauma and personal growth became particularly poignant in these stories. It was fascinating to see how the fandom took the foundation laid by the series and expanded upon it, addressing the psychological impact of the battles Gohan had faced. The parallels between the struggles of fictional characters and the complexities of real-life experiences were unexpectedly resonant.
As a participant in the Ninjago and Dragon Ball fandoms, I found a common thread in the fan communities' ability to use creative expression to explore deeper themes within the source material. Whether through fan fiction, art, or discussions, the fans contributed to the narrative in a way that went beyond mere entertainment. It became a means of introspection, empathy, and shared understanding.
The unexpected connection I felt with Gohan's character and the nuanced exploration of his experiences in fan content added a personal layer to my journey. It was no longer just about watching an anime or reading fan stories; it became a form of self-reflection, a way to connect with others who found resonance in the same narratives.
As my appreciation for Dragon Ball deepened, I enjoyed the official content and actively sought out the diverse expressions of creativity within the fandom. It was a testament to the enduring power of storytelling and how fictional narratives can become a canvas for personal exploration and connection within a community of like-minded enthusiasts.
#zena's ficverse#dragon ball#dbs#dragon ball super#gohan#son gohan#dragon ball fanfic#dragon ball fanfiction#son goku#groundbreaking zena dbs au
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2am musings on Character Creation, Originality, and More Writing Nonsense
Recently I’ve been fascinated with characters who are vaguely distantly reminiscent of the humanoid form, but very clearly and frighteningly inhuman. How many arms could a character work with? Four? Six? And how many eyes? Could I perhaps have a good nine of those? Wings? Of course. Lets have several sets. Also why don’t I give them three tongues and make them 12 feet tall and incredibly strong.
And...oh no. I’ve just realized that I have, in fact, made a biblical angel.... Botheration.
You know, characters need not be constrained to human form all the time. I’ve read plenty of books with animal characters like mice (”Redwall” by Brian Jacques), owls and wolves (”Guardians of Ga’Hoole” and “Wolves of the Beyond” by Katherine Lasky), and many many books with dragon protagonists (because who wouldn’t choose to be a dragon, given the chance?).
But we could go further than that. If you did it well, there is absolutely no reason you couldn’t have a book entirely from the point of view of a little thimble, or a dust mote. Sure it might be weird, and you’ll constantly be bombarded with the desire to use personification (Giving human characteristics to something nonhuman). That’s not a bad thing, exactly. But I’ll bet there are lots of unexplored ways to write the point of view of a thimble without personifying it, possibly all kinds of weird ways.
What if you wrote an entire story on the premise of living beings formed from dark matter? Since science is still working on this, the field is wide open for all kinds of probably highly unscientific stories that go in every direction. If the matter is so spread out that its invisible to us, perhaps the way they perceive the universe and reality is very different from us as well? Can they even tell we’re here? How would such a being think? What might their world be like? What could you do there? And then, in time, what stories could you tell? It would be a lot of hard work, and it would be incredibly weird.
To be honest, there’s probably not a market for things like that. (there might be but I haven’t found it anywhere). Publishers are in the habit of going for books they think they can sell, stories and characters that people can relate to.
I can see the value in relating to characters and stories. Sure. But I’m only marginally interested in selling my stories. No, what I’m interested in is what can be done with writing that we haven’t explored yet. I hear all the time “Oh there’s no original ideas left. Everything has been written already! You’ve just got to put your own spin on it!”..... um.... no? I’ve seen plenty of original ideas all over the place. In video games, in books, movies, shows, etc. Some of them fantastic, some incredibly stupid. And usually they were accompanied by a lot of borrowed concepts and ideas or even traditional formulas and styles (Because those things work. That’s why they’ve lasted this long).
Furthermore, why can’t I relate to a being of dark matter? I might have to look pretty closely to find something in common with such a being in a terribly alien reality and understanding of living. But there’s always SOMETHING, even if its not the sort of thing I usually try to relate to (such as “we are both alive in some way” or “we are made of matter so we actively affect the universe in a significant way even if we can’t really figure out what that means”). It just means I have to improve my writing skills to make a reader relate to a character in that way.
And not all stories involve characters you’re supposed to relate to. Sometimes you’re NOT supposed to relate to them but watch awestruck as they do things you would never dare to or don’t want to do, but enjoy witnessing anyway because wow.... that's something alright. Some of my favorite characters are ones I don’t relate to at all in any way.
Heck... if I wanted to write about a being who lived outside of time and space... no physical matter and no conception of linear time, I could do it. Heck, I HAVE tried something very similar. It wasn’t my best work, but I proved to myself that it was possible! And now that I know that, I can work on getting better at it.
The point I’m trying to get at here is this. When you’re creating characters, you don’t have to let yourself be confined to all the preconceived notions about what constitutes a character. If you wanna write a human or humanoid character, GREAT! Do that! Absolutely all the way. If you want to write a book or story that is likely to be published... MORE POWER TO YOU! GO FOR IT!
But you don’t have to. Not if you don’t want to. There are still unexplored wilds. The Art of Writing is still evolving in ways that would have been difficult to even dream of a hundred years ago (Or even 20 years ago!). I’ve seen fanfictions by that sleep deprived writer who decided two months ago that she was gonna do a full eight book series and she’s halfway done and somehow the writing is not just good, its so wholly original and groundbreaking that it redefines my own idea of what can be done with writing at every third paragraph. I’ve seen published books and poetry and essays like that too, that can make me stop in my tracks and have to reevaluate the ways that writing can be used.
So go, explore. Create WEIRD and CRAZY stuff! Try something totally off the wall and bonkers! ... maybe it won’t work. That’s alright. Lots of things don’t. Some things don’t work if you haven’t built up the skills to achieve them. Some things just don’t work. But you can’t possibly know that unless you give it a go. Let yourself transcend for a short time beyond humanity, to think and perceive in truly alien ways. To live as something incredibly inhuman, and maybe even something you might not have considered could be a character before. Can you make the epic of the scrub brush vs the dish into an engaging tale without giving them human traits? You can. Can you tell me the epic battle between the spider and the fly? I’ve seen someone do that. So you can. How might a butterfly see and understand itself? What are the cultural norms of the deep sea hermit crabs? How do crystals communicate with one another, and what do they have to say (and why that’s important)?
The possibilities are infinite. And so is your potential.
#creativity#writing#character creation#fanficion#writing thoughts#writing advice#musings at 2am#originality#original ideas#humanity#human#humanoid#personification#writing skills#stories#characters#feel free to reblog#if you want
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Hi! I’m new to the fandom and I’m simply curious (not trying to start a feud or anything), why don’t you like Steinberg?
Hello dear anon! And welcome to the fandom!
Oof. That’s a question. xD
I’m going to try and stay as uh. neutral as possible. Because I’ve already written the post I know I failed but, the intent in answering this is also not to start a feud or hurt anyone’s feelings.
Okay, so I got fairly negative in this chilis tonight, so I want to start by saying that even in light of the opinions I’m about to express, Black Sails is one of, if not my number one, favorite TV shows of all time. Certainly in recent memory - I’ve been hyperfixating on this show for 18 months with no sign of stopping, and I have a tremendous amount of respect for everyone who worked on the show - even Steinberg. (The one exclusion is Michael Bay, he can go twist.)
AND I think Stienberg is an incredibly talented writer. Black Sails is one of my favorite shows because it does such a wonderful job of weaving stories, creating characters, and melding things in a way that is both unexpected and makes sense narratively. I have changed as a person because of the show, and they will have to pry James McGraw and Thomas Hamilton from my cold dead knives-attached-to-them hands. None of what I’m going to say is meant to detract from that.
I will also say that a lot of these issues are not particular to Steinberg and are in fact a systemic problem with American TV + Film. And I’m not leaving Robert Levine out of my criticism, it’s just that Steinberg had the biggest hand in the pot(he wrote a full half the episodes) and a lot of what I’ve heard as far as talking about the show comes from Steinberg. So, he gets the brunt. But it isn’t that I think Steinberg was the only problematic element of the show.
Also, these are all my opinions and are colored by how I interact with my fandoms. I am not only a fandom veteran, but I work and pretty much live in the entertainment industry. I work in indie film and theatre and am surrounded by artists and creators of all walks of life, like, constantly. I know what is possible, and when I see something that can be improved, I want to note it because it is important to me to always be striving forward. Like Miranda says about Thomas, this isn’t out of malice, or out of hate. It’s because I genuinely love this show, and I love entertainment as a whole, and I think in order to get to a better, more inclusive industry we have to have hard conversations and look critically at the media we consume, and it is frustrating to me to time and again see the same faces in the room.
But if that isn’t your cuppa, that’s fine! Fandom isn’t meant to be stressful and if all you want to do is watch a show about gay pirates that is your tomato and I applaud you. Have at it you funky motherfucker.
OH! One more. At some point I’m going to talk about Silverflint. When I do, it is NOT meant as a ‘you shouldn’t/cant ship this’ or ‘this pairing is bad’ or any negative attack on the people who ship that pairing. My criticisms in this post are exclusively about what it means for Steinberg as a writer and Black Sails’ representation of gay and mlm men. While it’s not my cuppa, this is a sail your own ship blog.
OKAY! SO!
My main criticisms of Steinberg & Co boil down to:
The homozygosity of the writers and directors shows a complete lack of desire to include marginalized people in the writing of a show that is about them. Which leads to:
The centering of white men while choosing a historical setting and time period that was in fact dominated by people of color and specifically a black woman,
The gratuitous inclusion of violence against women, particularly sexual violence, and again, that the female characters are often sidelined for the central male characters.
SO.
Black Sails is a show centered around queer, female, and black leads, and yet there were only two non white-male directors (one bi-racial man and one white woman) and only 7 female writers - one of whom was Latina. The entire rest of the major creative staff was white men. I’m not going to comment on sexualities but none of the writers or directors are out as queer according to a quick google search.
Let me reiterate the important bit there.
In Black Sails, where the last two seasons specifically feature around a real, actually-happened-in-history event that shaped black history in the Caribbean, there was not a single black writer on the entire show.
This is the main difference between inclusion for inclusion’s sake, and actually centering marginalized voices. Black Sails has a ton of gay, POC, and female rep in front of the camera but practically zero representation behind it, which leads to storylines and implications that Steinberg and his writers, as white men, simply would never realize.
It’s like why Silver and Miranda never realized the true reasons James was waging war on England. They just did not have the life experiences to realize they were missing a piece of the puzzle, and so they filled in their own without even realizing they’d done so.
Because no one in the room of Black Sails was a part of these marginalized identities, nuances get lost or mistranslated, motivations get muddled through a white man’s gaze(or a straight person’s) and implications that someone within those communities might think is obvious won’t even come up.
And again, because there were no writers or directors of color in the last two seasons (the biracial man directed episodes 2x02 and 2x04 - WHICH MAKES SENSE IMO) the entirety of the historical lore that the show bases itself on in its latter half is filtered through a white man’s lens. And so there is no discussion of how changing something changes the meaning, how leaving someone out or changing their role to be more minor might affect people for whom that is their heritage. How the entire story they’re telling might change with one simple exclusion or addition.
So, how does this relate directly to Steinberg, you ask? Well, simply, because it was his show.
Steinberg(and Levine) were involved in every major decision about the show, from its conception, to the script, to choosing the writers and directors. They chose how they wanted the show to look, to think, what stories to tell and how they wanted to tell them. Their decisions(and the biases that formed those decisions) are woven into the show.
And look. I don’t for a second believe any of this was willful or malicious. I don’t think that John Steinberg and Robert Levine sat down one day and said ‘you know what would make the gays really angry? If we locked the only two canonically gay men up in a prison camp.’
But the decisions that were made in the show were based in ignorance in a way that shows more than just simple negligence or laziness(especially given the attention to detail in everything else). The things they leave out or change in the Maroon War plotline for instance are not small details easily missed. They are big, giant waving flags. They are things that are irreplaceable to still have the same events and stories and tell them respectfully.
It shows an insane amount of privilege to, for instance, write a show airing during a time when the Black Lives Matter movement was at the forefront of the American conscience, include black characters and black storylines, and yet not include a single black voice on their creative team.
In a show that centers a gay man’s love and his journey in attempting to process the horrible things done to him and his lover because of it, we are given just forty minutes of the entire show dedicated to their relationship - and just fifteen of those minutes actually feature the lover!
(Relatedly, the entirety of the gay romantic rep is two kisses, and a forehead touch. That’s the entirety of your gay intimacy representation. And yet there are in the first two seasons alone - because that’s all I’ve clocked so far - something like twenty seven minutes of scenes involving a naked or half naked woman. Five minutes of that is explicitly wlw sex.
Again, I just want to reiterate this because it’s important in recognizing bias.
There is fully twice as much female nudity in the first two seasons, as the entirety of the time the two gay characters have together on screen. )
Steinberg is a perfect example of how a lack of understanding why the diversity you are representing is important, matters. I dislike Steinberg because he, just like every other straight white cis man I have known, profited off of marginalized voices without including them or creating with them in mind.
Art does not exist in a vacuum. You cannot create something - especially something as back breakingly, intensely a labor of love as Black Sails - without putting several pieces of yourself into it. But those pieces color your narrative. They will expose things about you that you don’t even realize. And it’s in these places we are weakest, and why a diverse group of writers with a diverse group of experiences can help a piece be stronger. But for whatever reason, John Steinberg thought that he could make art with only people who looked and thought and experienced like him.
The lack of representation behind the camera in Black Sails was evident in front of it and yet Steinberg is out here getting to pretend like he created the most inclusive groundbreaking show that ever existed. It is important to me, personally, to acknowledge that. And that it kind of makes my skin crawl in the way all media made by straight white (cis)men makes my skin crawl. I wish I didn’t have to feel that way about my favorite tv show just because it was created by a man of privilege, but here we are.
SO. I hope that helped? Feel free to take what you want and leave what you don’t!
Below the cut is a more in depth look at things that I think show what I’m talking about, but that up there ^^ is the gist. <3 |D
SURPRISE!
The Maroons and the Maroon War
So the first thing I want to point out is that the Maroon War was a real thing that happened. It lasted ten years, and resulted in the most substantial victory the Maroons ever achieved against the British. Not only that, there was in fact a KICKIN’ badass female leader of the maroons named Queen Nanny, who is to this day honored as a national hero in Jamaica. While they weren’t able to drive the British out, the outcome of this war led to a mostly self-governing Maroon population in Jamaica from the mid 1700s on. This was a long term fight that had a very tangible and real outcome, even if it didn’t end in the destruction of colonialism.
And what is this war turned into in Black Sails? A white ‘madman’s revenge’ that is doomed to failure after six months.
That, my dear pirates, is a problem for me. (And those familiar with my brand of spiceyness know that I do not ascribe to the ‘Flint is a Madman’ trope, but that IS what Steinberg ascribes to, what he seems to have written the show thinking.)
There was no narrative reason to include the Maroon War in the narrative of Black Sails. The Maroon War didn’t happen until a decade after the Golden Age of Piracy, and aside from Silver’s wife being a black woman there is no mention of Silver ever having contact with them. To me, this feels like the choice of a showrunner who found a cool historical event and saw a chance to up the stakes of their white male heroes while getting in some sweet sweet POC rep.
Except that they then took the major events of the Maroon War and gave them to their white characters, Flint and Silver.
Here’s the thing. If you’re going to take a piece of culturally important history and use it for your show, you NEED to have sensitivity writers. You need to have people who are at least familiar with those events and who care about them to do them justice. Have an expert come in and read your script or go over your ideas. Or just like. Hire a black writer. Hire ONE black writer. As a treat.
The important Maroon figures, Nanny, Cudjoe, and Quao, all get sidelined or ‘sexified’ and then used as plot points for the white characters. Nanny gets split into two women - the older mother queen and Madi, the young naive warbent visionary. Quao(Mr. Scott is the closest, or Kofi possibly) gets killed off because the writers realized they didn’t exactly have a place for him in their writing. Cudjoe(Julius) gets a few scenes and one good speech but his entire role in the war gets given to Silver. And THEN. That sexy Queen Madi figure gets used as emotional bait for Silver and then has to learn he has betrayed her and destroyed the hope and freedom she had wanted to bring to her people.
Gross, pirates. Gross.
Anne Bonny/Max/Mary Read - a heads up, this section includes a semi in-depth discussion of both Max and Anne’s sexual assaults. If that bothers you, the paragraphs talking about that begin with a ***
COOL NOW LET’S TALK ABOUT LESBIANS. Words my 20 year old self would never have imagined coming out of my mouth.
Specifically, I want to talk about Max, and Anne, and their backstories both involving extreme sexual trauma at the hands of men. And then Mary Read and the once again sexification of female characters.
(Actually while I’m here another criticism I have of Steinberg is that his writing does not seem to recognize how queer people existed in the past - again, likely because he didn’t have any gay historians to be like ‘actually buddy that doesn’t make sense also why is Anne not dressing as a man? If you want to fuck with anything and insert modern day terminology and ideas into this show, make her non binary and REALLY piss off the hetties.’)
(This same ficitonal gay dramaturg who is definitely not me has also questioned John Steinberg repeatedly about where Mary Read is, unsatisfied with the answer ‘well we wanted her to be hot so we made her a sex worker and then had Anne have to rescue her but then we realized it would be weird not to include her actual character so we gave her a five second cameo at the very end of the series and also made her like 13.’)
Anyway! So my main point in bringing up Anne and Max is the sexual trauma they are exposed to in the show, particularly being that they are the two primary wlw in the show, who Steinberg has said he views as being completely gay, and what THAT whole unexamined idea looks like.
***Max. My dear Max. There was literally no reason to have her be repeatedly r*ped(and for the love of god there was even less reason to make it that gratuitous and graphic). Max being assaulted like that did not add anything to the gravity of Eleanor’s betrayal. The traumatic event was being tossed aside by Eleanor, and that could have been just as emotionally damaging without the sexual assault. And the only reason for her to be continually assaulted was to bring her and Anne together.
***The reason imo that Max’s r*pe plot was added was because it was the only thing these white straight men could come up with that felt emotionally damaging enough to them. The act of betrayal itself wasn’t enough, the act of being thrown away, of having a lover put your life in danger because of her own ambitions wasn’t enough, they needed her to be r*ped to really drive home the point.
***Anne, on the other hand, is never shown being sexually abused, but we are given an explicit account of her own traumatic history and how Jack saved her from this vile beast who was passing her around to his friends.
But here’s the thing pirates - that never happened. According to every account we have of Anne Bonny, she chose her husband, and married him against her father’s wishes. They were probably relatively happy until her husband started being a pirate spy and Anne started cheating on him with Jack.
And yes, when they were found out. Her husband had her beat. That’s not fucking cool, and if they really wanted to go the damsel in distress route they still could have had Jack ‘save’ her from that. But at no point was she sexually abused by her husband(at least not in any accounts I’ve read.)
You know who did likely sexually abuse her or at least manipulate her and Mary for his own benefit? If you guessed our Rat man Jack Rackham, you would be correct, because when he found out about Mary and Anne’s (supposed, but probably real) relationship, it’s implied he extorted both of them into fucking him to keep their secret from the crew.
The addition of sexual abuse to Anne’s past isn’t done to be true to her character and was in fact explicitly untrue. Now of course I don’t know the reasons why they chose to do this, but I can guess. Just as with Max, the most traumatic thing a male writer can think of for a female character is for them to be sexually abused.
And the most disturbing part of this to me? The parallels it has to the real world of why straight men think lesbians exist. These characters who would be called man haters in present day are given these incredibly traumatic man-centered histories. It brings up something very uncomfortable in me about particularly wlw sexuality being viewed as a reaction to trauma at the hands of men. It’s just gross, I dont like it, and honestly there is no fucking excuse for it besides a room full of white straight men writing this bullshit. A room that Steinberg chose, because they fit his ideas.
In Fact heck, the women of Black Sails in general
***I honestly struggle to think of a single female character who I think was treated fairly in Black Sails. Miranda and Eleanor are killed for taking sides and not understanding their partners, Madi is betrayed in the worst way possible, Max is given a pseudo empowering ending but has that fucking terrible start. Idelle ends off fairly well, but tied to a man she may or may not have any actual feelings for, in what is essentially a political marriage. And Anne has her entire identity tied to a man who will be dead in two years as she is robbed of any agency whatsoever without him. (Oh, and the whole r*pe thing. And also her support for Max’s r*pe or death until she started having fee-fees. Who wrote this stuff. >_>)
Even though the characterization of each and every one of these women is PHENOMENAL - and again I will repeat that I absolutely LOVE these characters as they exist in a vacuum. I think they are well rounded, real, feeling people given motivations and drives and FEELINGS and they SHOW THEIR ANGER and i LOVE THEM.
But the show punishes them for it. Miranda is essentially fridged to move Flint’s storyline along, and to make room for Silver. Eleanor is killed for the emotional damage it will cause Rogers. Madi is placed at the center of a conflict she explicitly says she is willing to die for and then not only is her entire cause taken from her, but when she tells Silver to fuck off he - in possibly the most predictable white man move ever - says ‘no i will stay until you change your mind. I will never leave you. I don’t care about your choice in this matter, I will wait forever for you. I’m your biggest fan. I’ll follow you until you love me. papa, - paparazzi.’
And I touched on this before, but I want to talk in more detail about what is possibly my hottest take to date, the sexification of Mary Read and Queen Nanny, as they are presented in the show.
Max is to Anne what Mary Read is, historically. She is the lover that Jack Rackham discovers with Anne, and then he joins them in their bed. They form a triumvirate that upholds Jack at the expense of the women. But for some reason, Steinberg didn’t want to just include Mary Read as an actual character. For some reason he needed to make Anne’s love interest a sex worker who was in need of saving (and who, coincidentally, we never see working the brothel after she becomes lovers with Anne, because she is now a madam. :) Gross.)
And Madi. My dear sweet fucking Madi who didn’t fucking deserve any of this bullshit send tweet.
So, historically, Queen Nanny was the Queen, spiritual advisor, and the military tactician of the Windward Maroons. She would have filled both Madi and the Queen’s character roles(and Flint’s, but who’s counting. A BLACK GAY LEAD? Inconceivable. I digress.) But, I guess, because they were wishy-washing with Silver’s sexuality or felt they needed to give him a female love interest because of Treasure Island, or because they were leaning a bit too hard into the gay shit and needed to backpedal, they took Queen Nanny and split her into a character who is for all intents and purposes powerless in the war and Madi, who is young and naive and does not have any real world experience outside of the Maroon camp.
Because that’s sexy, or something. They could have had the Maroon Queen be a fucking badass lady who works and fights alongside Flint and Silver and one ups them and teaches them shit and has her own ideas about where the British can stick it, but instead they made her into the perfect caricature of a female monarch, letting the big strong men handle the dirty work or something. Because white male power fantasies.
Just let women be powerful and not nubile and let them have character arcs over fucking thirty and let them be CENTERED in their own. fucking. narratives.
God damnit Steinberg.
James Flint, mlm extraordinaire
Oh, my love. My most amazing child. The light of my life. My purest cinnamon roll.
~~And now we’ve come to the dreaded Silverflint criticism part of our programming. Please please know and remember this isn’t a criticism of people who ship Silverflint. As I said up top, Your Tomato Is Not My Tomato and that’s cool. Please don’t take this next part as an attack on Silverflint as a fandom ship.~~
My criticism of Steinberg as it relates to Flint is related to:
What a romantic/sexual relationship with Silver being the basis of the tension and plot means for Flint in particular as a gay or mostly mlm man.
Refusing to confirm Thomas and James being alive at the end and honestly the whole finale in general but like I’ll try and focus.
The major problem I have with Silver and Flint being coded as in love with each other is the implications there in terms of gay men’s relationships to other men.
From every corner, men are inundated with the idea that any close relationship between them must be gay. That intimacy cannot exist unless there are sexual feelings involved. That a relationship cannot be close, deep and soul shattering and life altering, unless one guy secretly(or not so secretly) wants to bone the other dude. That two men cannot value each other as partners or friends or truly know each other unless they are gay.
Seeing both of the meaningful relationships Flint forms with other men be sexually coded feels a bit the same way as Anne and Max’s sexual assault plotlines does vis-a-vis being wlw. (Even with Gates, Flint never spoke about Thomas or his plans - Silver is absolutely the closest person to Flint besides Thomas and Miranda.) And this is just as true for Silver. Having both Flint and Madi - the two people he trusts - both be people he’s in love with also just feels. I don’t know.
It feels like a confusion between male intimacy and male love that is so so familiar to me as a gay man I could choke on it. Where they wanted these men to have a deep and really lasting connection, but could only figure out how to do it if they were in love. Friendship wouldn’t have been enough - only romantic and sexual love is enough for the gay man(or men, at all).
Just because it isn’t queerbaiting doesn’t mean it’s good rep, and I would have liked to see truly deep male friendships that did not center on sexual attraction - particularly for Flint as a confirmed mlm(and Silver too, if you’re counting him. The same arguments for why I dislike Flint being paired with Silver are also true in the reverse.)
Even if both Flint and Silver were confirmed mlm I still would have LOVED to see a platonic relationship between them. In fact I would have loved that EVEN MORE. Men! Who fuck men! Not needing to fuck each other to be important to one another! Who made this. Very delicious.
But because there weren’t any queer writers on the show, writers who understand this kind of struggle that gay and mlm men face, they thought ‘oh, let’s also have them be in love with each other. More gay rep is better gay rep, right?’ False. THOUGHTFUL gay rep is better gay rep.
Okay and here’s my last thing. The fact that Steinberg refuses to say whether or not the explicitly mlm men are alive at the end of the show - that the words he specifically uses are ‘up for interpretation’ is. Fuck, it’s gross, okay? It’s fucking gross.
I have been around enough men, enough people in power, enough people with leverage who also know how to play the field, to know that when someone wants a group’s support but does not agree with them, their go to phrasing is that it is ‘up for debate’ or ‘up for interpretation.’
Say the gays are alive. Steinberg refusing to acknowledge the reality of the ending of his show to maintain his own sense of artistic integrity is what, honestly, really sets me off about him and I don’t care if this is a nuanced take.
Like yes, death of the author. I honestly don’t care if he thinks they’re dead or alive. What I care about is that he thinks he can get away with being clever and leaning hard into a story is true/untrue’ - doesn’t realize what the implications of that are, and didn’t when he was writing, and didn’t have anyone else in the room who would think about it either.
ANYWAY. So this is....my long drawn out explanation for why I do not like Steinberg. Uhhhhh tune in next week for more of my totally unpopular opinions!
#good....fucking lord#i am so sorry#how many opinions can milo fit in one post#i mean i have more but yknow lmao#black sails#behind the black sails#milos black sails meta#long posts#my increasingly devoted attempts to find tumblrs word limit#Anonymous#john steinberg#js critical but the js is jon steinberg
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Worst Impressions are the First (ch 7)
Main Characters: Logan, Patton, Roman, Virgil (Human AU)
Pairings: Romantic LAMP
Word Count: 5036
AO3
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Author’s (longer than usual but it’s for good reason) Note: *The Apocalypse—2020. Zoom in on a plague rat turned writer. She has survived thesis projects, getting a Master’s degree, burnout, writing and illustrating a children’s book, being a slave for the U.S. census bureau, months of overthinking anxiety spirals, and one or two incidents involving an asshole skunk. But now, battle weary yet unwavering in her love of art and love for her loyal readers, this onesie-clad tea slurping book dragon....has finally arisen from the ashes*
I LIVE BITCHES!!!!!!! And I am SO SORRY for taking so long!!! I’ve been hard at work, been editing like a mad woman, and I even have a beta now! The gorgeous and talented @humbletortoise So I am OFFICIALLY off hiatus!!! *cue confetti canon*
Also, one of the biggest reasons I’ve taken so long to update is because I’ve spent the past month or so essentially retconning the fuck outta this fic. I realized looking back at earlier chapters in this story that, although I was proud of them at the time and greatly appreciate the positive reactions, they were...not my best work. (shitty first drafts if I’m being honest) That’s because, at the time, I was trying to split my attention between writing this fic and working on grad school stuff, which resulted in my writing for this not being as best of quality as it could have been upon first posting. This story deserves my best, and so do all of you. So now I hope to give you that.
I encourage you to go back and re-read the previous chapters up till now (trust me, they’re near unrecognizable to the first drafts, but in the best way). Or if you don’t feel like doing that, you can just continue on from here. totally cool. For the sake of convenience and my own sanity, I’ll attach the AO3 Link to this fic from the start. I may also start just posting chapter updates on tumblr but only have the link to the chapter and add my reader tags. Again, for the sake of my sanity because Tumblr is a bastard when it comes to posting fics. (Also PLEASE let me know if there are any tagging issues if anyone’s on my tags list; yet another reason i’m considering just linking my fics in the future)
Anywho, without further ado, at LOOOOOONG last, here is the next chapter!
Chapter 7 - (POV Roman)
When Roman had offered to walk with Logan to class, it was only partly out of an innate sense of chivalry; a side of himself that he rarely got to show on account of being a socially awkward gay disaster. Though mainly, he saw it as a chance to get to know his second soulmate better.
He certainly hadn’t expected two long minutes of civil but silent walking. Well, as silent as a stroll through their school could be with its usual racket buzzing around them. With a vocabulary as big as the continents of Africa and Eurasia combined, you’d think Logan would be more of a conversationalist. Alas. He merely walked in step with Roman. They glanced over at each other every so often, but Logan stayed tight lipped and seemingly impassive; fiddling with his bumblebee hair pin every now and again. Damn. Looked like he was going to have to make the first move.
Roman was bad at this. How did people usually…Oh yeah, common interest. That’s a thing. He wracked his brain for some sort of ice breaker. One that’d make him look cool and calm or, something, in front of Logan. He was a fairly decent student though not quite mathletes level. He could compliment his outfit maybe? Was that too forward? Too shallow? Maybe he could find common ground? That was as good a place to start as any.
“So! So uhh…What kind of music do you like?” Roman asked. Yeah, that’s good. Everybody likes music.
Logan glanced at him. “Can you be more specific?”
Roman’s brow furrowed. “I mean, like, your favorite genre of music to listen to?”
“Classical,” said Logan in a clipped tone.
“That’s cool. I don’t really listen to classical myself.”
Logan only hummed, his face neutral. Roman was really hoping for more than that. A few awkward seconds passed, then Logan spoke up.
“Are you perhaps a fan of the classic Sherlock Holmes novels?” He inquired.
“Um, I haven’t gotten around to the books yet, actually,” Roman said, scratching his earlobe. “I mean, I’ve heard great things about them. And I’m a big fan of the Robert Downey Jr. movies.”
“Ah. I see.” Logan said, giving him the judgiest side eye.
Come on, Roman thought. Give me something to work with. “Oh! What about theater?”
“What a frustratingly vague inquiry.”
“Well, excuse me for trying to get to know my soulmate a little better.” Ay come jode, work with me here, man!
Logan sighed. “While I understand and appreciate your intention, I believe ‘getting to know someone’ as you put it, requires a certain level of specificity. Anything less indicates a somewhat shallow level of sincere interest, and I greatly despise shallow conversation. That said, if you’re inquiring as to whether or not I enjoy theater, no. I don’t understand the concept of professional make believe, though I appreciate it as an art form. I assume you’re a fan?”
Is he seriously implying I’m shallow? Roman groused, pushing his red frames up the bridge of his nose. Ugh, forget it Roman. He’s throwing you a bone here. Take it.
“Obviously,” said Roman, gesturing dramatically. “I mean I’m no actor—Eesh. No. Yikes—but everything about the artform enthralls me. And I like all kinds of genres and eras of plays, from Shakespear to Ruhl, but musicals are by far my favorite, because like, there’s so much you can do with them design wise. I mean just look at how groundbreaking Hamilton was.”
For a second, Logan’s face actually softened, his eyes lighting up. But just as Roman thought they were finally about to make some progress, his stony companion was back to wearing that platinum puss.
“Ah. How… original.”
Roman blinked. “Are you saying my tastes are basic?”
“Well, yes.”
Augh! Okay. Yep. I don’t like him. Patton was going to be so disappointed, and Roman was too. He’d wanted so badly to get along with all his soulmates, but Logan was a snob! Way less intimidating than Virgil and his ilk, but still a jerk. I wonder if soulmarks can make typos or something? Thank the stars they’d already arrived.
Roman and Logan filed in with the rest of the class for seventh period. Somebody had the liberty of opening a window– the AC was still busted in this classroom– so for once there was actually a decent breeze cutting through the usual mucky Florida humidity. Still smelled like it would probably rain later. Good thing Roman had packed an umbrella just in case, Mom’s orders. His hair looked too good today to be wrecked by frizz.
Roman took a seat at his desk, running distracted fingers over the carved letters in the wood while he mulled over his predicament. Just look at him over there, thought Roman as he glared at Logan, not two rows away from him. Sitting with his hands clasped on the desk all smug—of course he’d be near the front—and with such disturbingly good posture. What is he, a robot? Who is he to call my interests basic, the NERVE! And okay, sure, like Hamilton, sometimes I get over excited and shoot off at the mouth. But great Zeus, does that guy show passion for ANYTHING besides academics? Roman blew a raspberry, plopping his head in his hands.
He always thought soulmates were supposed to get along, even as just friends for life. Balancing each other out, bringing out the best in you and forming a deep connection—that was the whole point. He sighed to himself. Cymbals clashed less than he and Logan did.
He was stirred from his brooding by the bell. Apparently Mr. ‘Call-me-Terrence’ Williams had materialized without him noticing. Okay fine, he should probably pay more attention, but he was having a crisis here.
“Afternoon everyone,” Terrence greeted in that measured, upbeat tone of his.
He draped his navy blue blazer over the back of his desk chair and rolled his shirt sleeves to the elbows. Roman pitied the poor guy; he had to teach sauna of a classroom all day. He could see the glisten of sweat on his teacher's smooth forehead as he wrote things on the board. Yet he still kept a pleasant attitude towards his students.
“Alright class!” Terrence started, “Today we’re covering the next section on the American Revolution. Specifically, the Battle of Yorktown...”
Roman mentally punched the air. My time has come. He opened his textbook to the right page but didn’t bother looking at it. He already knew most everything about Yorktown. Not just because he’d listened to the Hamilton soundtrack fifteen and a half million times, but also because he’d done actual research on the event and time period that the musical took place; There was always the off chance he’d get to stage crew or, heck, even dramaturg the show. He liked to be prepared.
“So the battle of Yorktown took place in 1781, but a great deal of its success was thanks to the French Allies. Many especially aided in fighting the British Troops surrounding New York. Now who can tell me where the French Soldiers first landed?”
Roman half raised his hand. He was pretty sure he knew the answer.
“Logan.” Terrence called.
Roman turned to Logan desk, where his hand was held high and mighty.
“The French Ally ships first landed in Rhode Island, then made their way to Chesapeake Bay,” said Logan, adjusting his glasses. Not even a hint of second guessing in his voice.
“That’s right!”
He almost missed the quick smirk on Logan’s frustratingly pretty face. Look at that smug—thinks he’s so smart...Okay yes, he is smart, but he doesn’t have to be a show off about it. Terrence continued through the passages, calling on a student every now and again to review. Of course, Logan got called on most and he got every answer right. Roman didn’t feel like raising his hand anymore.
“Of course there were many turning points in the revolution, but Hamilton’s return to the field for Yorktown was a key point.” Terrence continued on. “And keep in mind- this was a man who up till now had never been in a position of command before. Not to mention the mental strains he must’ve been under, especially having had to miss the birth of his son Philip, the first of three children he had.”
Wait a sec. “Well, that’s not right.”
Even though he’d muttered, apparently Mr. Terrence still heard him. “Come again, Roman?”
Shoot. “Um, I said,” Stop sounding timid, you know you’re right. “I said that was, um, wrong.”
The whole class turned to him. Oh great, history class has its eyes on me. Roman cleared his throat and tried to look taller.
“What I mean is: Hamilton had eight kids, not three. And on top of that, Phillip was born a few months after they won the Revolution, not during, so Hamilton didn’t miss the birth of his son. I mean sure, it’s a small thing, but the devil’s in the details as they say. Heh.”
Terrence gave the most insultingly bemused look. And Roman definitely heard a few kids snickering behind him. He glanced quickly at the culprits and felt his ears go hot. This is what he got for putting himself in the spotlight.
“Roman, I applaud you for participating in the class discussion,” Their teacher started gently, “but I’m afraid you’re wrong on this one. If you read your textbook close you’d see in the fifth paragraph where it mentions from one of his later letters—“
“Actually Mr. Williams, if I may, Roman is correct.”
Roman saw Logan at his desk, one hand raised while the other adjusted his neck scarf. Was the teacher’s pet actually… backing him up?
“It is a common misconception that Alexander Hamilton only had two children, even more so modernly, what with the musical having only named two of them. However Roman has clearly done his research on the plays historical accuracies, which is more than I can say for some.”
Logan shot a cool but scathing look at their recently snickering classmates and they withered. Roman fought the urge to point and laugh aloud. He did however stick his tongue out real quick. What? He could be shy and petty at the same time.
“My guess,” Logan continued, “is that this textbook edition is also either misprinted or outdated, judging by the publication date in the copyright section.”
Brows furrowed, Terrence looked at the textbook laid open on his desk. He flipped back to the front, before pulling out his cellphone—“I’m the teacher, I’m allowed to do this. You guys aren’t.”—and after what Roman guessed was a quick Google search, their teacher looked up. His eyebrows drawn in a ‘hm, well damn’ expression.
“Looks like you’re right, Roman. And thank you Logan for bringing to my attention about the textbooks. I’ll have to talk to the principal about hopefully getting some updated materials. But we’ll see how that goes,” Terrence, muttered the last part, though Roman was close enough to catch it. Terrence cleared his throat and moved back to the board. “Maybe if we call on assistance from the inside. Much like how the Sons of Liberty sent in Hercules Mulligan to spy on the British...”
“Perhaps if we knew of an immigrant who was unafraid to step in,” Logan said just under his breath.
No one else seemed to notice the reference, but when Roman did, he felt like a mini volcano about to burst rainbow lava. Apparently there was a lot more to his soulmate than first meets the eye; and now that he knew, Roman was determined to see more of it. The rest of class passed quickly and everyone filed out to the halls as the first bell for the last class period of the day rang. Roman made sure to catch up to Logan on the way out and staccato tapped him on the shoulder.
“Hey, Logan?” He said.
When Logan turned, he swore time slowed down for a moment. The brilliant boy’s skirt flared around his waist, and somehow his skin glowed even under the dull, inconsistent school lights. His posture was erect yet natural, he could have been raised among nobility. Amidst the stench and clamor of loud sweaty students, Logan was as poised and striking as the goddess Athena. Oh...
“Yes, Roman?” Logan asked.
Roman gulped. “I uh, just wanted to thank you for backing me up in there.”
“Thanks are unnecessary,” Logan said. “I detest when someone is shamed by other students for speaking up in class, regardless of whether or not they have the correct information.”
“Well regardless, thanks for coming to my aid in the face of academic danger.”
“Dramatic, but my pleas—oof!”
A hurried passerby bumped into Logan from behind, rushing off with a half-assed ‘sorry’. Logan, caught off guard, stumbled right into Roman’s arms. The two looked at each other, cheeks filling with heat. Roman caught a whiff of something faintly floral on Logan, something natural– a lavender and honeysuckle perfume, perhaps. It was heavenly. They were still in the middle of foot traffic though, so he maneuvered them to the side. Which was tricky since Logan was still so close to him and also a good two inches taller with the heels.
“Well,” Roman flashed his pearly whites. “Seems you’ve fallen for me.”
Logan pulled away, but his lips quirked upwards in a teasing smirk. “Oh please, I merely stumbled into you.”
“Ah, but stumbling is the first step towards being swept off your feet.”
“Bold words from an abashedly charming homunculus in such an… eye catching ensemble.”
Did he call me charming!? He composed himself, “Hey, don’t let the sweater vest fool you. I may be short but I’ve got guns.”
“Aaah. But mind over muscle, as they say. Do you find yourself up to the task?”
“Only if it’s you, my brainy blossom.”
Roman’s class was in the other direction, but Logan didn’t need to know that. They walked through the halls, conversing. class was still in the next ten or so minutes, but Roman was having fun. Banter with Logan felt surprisingly easy. Natural like they’d been at it all their lives.
“By the way, was that a ‘Guns n’ Ships’ reference I overheard, pastel poindexter?” Roman asked.
Logan cleared his throat. “It… may have been, yes. I found myself unable to resist toppling the figurative dominos.”
“In other words, you seized the opportunity you saw,” Roman said, matching his own reference to the source’s cadence, which got a chuckle out of Logan.
“Precisely. Under more casual circumstances, I may have even recited Lafayette’s part.”
“You can rap? You can rap Guns n’ Ships? Like, the whole thing, no tongue twists?”
Logan stopped for a moment, turned to Roman. The taller boy cleared his throat, and after a moment wherein he seemed to mentally restrain himself, he simply adjusted his glasses. “I have an appreciation for poetry.”
Roman blinked rapidly. Holy shit, he’s an even bigger nerd than I am. He definitely needed to see that at some point.
They turned a corner, stopping just outside of the science room. Some students were going in to take their seats, and the teacher was already making notes on the board. Logan pulled an AP Physics book from his backpack, but made no move to leave, much to Roman’s delight.
“So then,” Roman leaned against the eggshell wall, “How come you acted so indifferent earlier and called my tastes basic? Oh, and I think I remember you also implied I was shallow?”
Okay, yeah, he was still kind of salty about that. But then he saw the shamed look on the nerd’s face, and Roman wished he could have taken it back. Logan looked at his shoes then back at him.
“To be candid I was… hesitant to show the full extent of my enthusiasm. In case you thought I’d be—I believe ‘being the most’ is the term— it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve caused someone to lose interest in conversing with me due to informational overload. I nearly bored my Aunt Patricia to sleep once talking about a fascinating article on jellyfish. And considering how I blundered our initial meeting—“
“Pfft, ya think?” He mentally slapped himself again when Logan went tight-lipped and turned to go. “No, no, wait. I—I’m sorry. Truly. ...Truth is, I was no gentleman either. I’m not always great at thinking before I speak. It’s why I’m so awkward around people. Takes a while for my true charming nature to shine through.”
“Clearly. Still, you show a level of interpersonal aptitude that I, well, lack.” Logan fiddled with his hair pin again and a stray hair came loose. “Reading people and expressing emotions has never really been—It’s something I struggle with.”
Much as Logan tried to maintain his cool composed posturing, Roman could tell that this was something that really bothered him. He tried so hard to seem put together and confident and serious, but really he was just as awkward and insecure as anyone. Roman smiled softly and stepped closer to Logan, reaching up to tuck the loose ebony strand behind his ear.
“Hey, everyone’s got things about themselves they can work on. Including me,” Roman smiled. “And believe me when I say that I will never judge you for being passionate about something you like. So if you ever want someone to ramble about jellyfish or Sweeney Todd to or—I dunno, calculators or something?—I’m all ears.”
Logan’s cheeks went pink and he gave a hesitant yet sincere smile. “That’s...very kind of you, Roman. And coincidentally, I also greatly enjoy Sweeney Todd. The use of iambic pentameter and alliteration to give a succinct synopsis to the story in just the first sentence alone is pure brilliance.”
“Right!? I mean the man’s a mad genius. I’m dying to design sets for one of his musicals someday. Like last year? I came up with the concept of having the Sweeney Todd sets done in a way that highlights the class differences with the characters.” Roman went into a small three minute ramble regarding the specifics before he cut himself off abruptly. Logan was blinking rapidly, a look of mild shock crossing his feature. Roman nearly started sweating; Had he messed this up again?
“That… that’s ingenious”
Roman’s ears were burning. Ohmygosh!Ohmygosh!Ohmygosh!
“Hey, Logan!” They both startled and turned to an impatient cheerleader with a ginger undercut and they/them pronoun pin shaped like a coffin. “What’re you doing just standing out in the hall, ya dork? Oh, hey Roman.”
“Uh. Hey, October,” Roman said, waving awkwardly to them.
“I told ya, Red, you only get to call me that when we’re working on a show.”
“Wait, October? Red? You two know each other?” Logan asked, brow arching.
“Kind of. They sometimes help out with costumes for the drama club,” said Roman. And they have terrible timing. I mean seriously Tobes, we were having a moment.
“Come on Lo, class is about to start, and you promised to go over my homework with me real quick beforehand. See ya ‘round, Ro.” Toby grabbed Logan’s hand and pulled him into the classroom. “You can fill me in on what you were doing with Red later.”
Logan followed his—apparently—friend into their classroom, but he shot Roman an apologetic look over his shoulder. Roman bounced a bit on the balls of his feet before following halfway into the room. Logan was in his seat with Toby showing him an open notebook. A teacher in a tight grey hair bun was writing on the board. Students at their seats were chatting, and some looked up at the short dork in red who burst in. For once Roman ignored them, his mind set on one last attempt at wooing his green skirted genius while he still had the nerve.
“Hey, Logan,” he said. “I’ve also got some great layout designs for an Into the Woods set. If you’re interested, maybe we can meet up after school and I can show them to you? Maybe we talk a bit more over iced lattes or something?”
“Excuse me, Mr. Prince, seventh period starts in five minutes,” said the teacher. “Unless you’ve suddenly transferred to my class, I suggest you stop distracting my favorite student and get going.”
“I’ll be gone in just a second,” he said. “Well?”
Logan smoothed the silky fabric of his pink scarf and said, “That sounds optimal, Roman. I’ll meet with you. By the first floor water fountain perhaps?”
Roman grinned. “I shall be counting the minutes.”
“Mr. Prince,” said the teacher with a warning glare.
Roman blew a kiss at Logan and then ducked out of the doorway. Was he embarrassed of himself? Oh definitely. Did he regret it? Absolutely not. He felt ten inches tall.
Now to complete the quest of making it to class in time. He slid off a shoulder strap to unzip his classic Mickey backpack, getting out the notebook and the relevant homework. He found them amidst the mess of spiral notebooks, granola bar wrappers, two textbooks and rainbow sticky notes. But something was missing from his folder.
“Where are those– it should be here.” He could’ve sworn he had his stapled the blocking notes in his folder. No, wait, the last place he saw them was— “Ah shoot! I left them in the tech closet again.”
Under normal circumstances, Roman would’ve grabbed them after school, but the auditorium was locked on weekends. He’d have to wait till Monday to get them and that just wouldn't do! he wanted to show Logan his notes today! I’ll bet David Korins never has these kinds of problems. Okay, okay. Still got four minutes. He could rush to the auditorium, grab the notes, and then head straight to class. I should have enough time, right? Right. Besides it was only Spanish Class, he was already pretty fluent after all those summers visiting his grandparent in Nicaragua. He spent most of class time dreaming up blocking notes anyway.
Despite not being totally convinced by his own argument, Roman immediately turned on his heel and started running in the opposite direction. After a teacher told him no running in the halls, Roman power walked through the halls with a skip in his step and a song in his heart, feeling absolutely gay in both senses of the word. Logan had actually called his idea ingenious! And the way those sharp eyes softened just for him- he would squeal if not for the fact that it would draw too many eyes to him. The halls were still filled with a few stragglers rushing to the last class of the day, and he was already trying not to get caught being late for class.
Now he knew how Maria felt in West Side Story. Y’know, before Act 2. Oh sure, they’d gotten off to a shaky start, but as the Bard’s adage on the course of true love said; and Roman felt it in his gut that this was certainly the start of true love. Not just with brilliant Logan but also with soulful Patton as well. He didn’t know how an awkward geek like him ever got so lucky in the soulmate department…Then again, there was still the matter of Virgil. So maybe not so lucky.
Roman touched his arm, remembered flustered yet flattering purple words. I know they both said Virgil is secretly sweet and I can sympathize with the terrors of closet town, but COME ON! Virgil? Really? That gloomy gladiator? There had to be a mistake in that. After all, Patton liked to see the good in everyone. Logan was much more of a skeptic, but he does seem to have a blind spot with sarcasm. Maybe Virgil was messing with them somehow. Even if he’s not a jerk jock, the guy’s still kind of a creepazoid; with his dark eyes and cheeta-esq gait and those probably huge muscles hidden under that bulky jacket and big hands...
His gay disaster train of thought came to a merciful halt as he reached the auditorium. Roman pushed open the doors, took a pause to breathe in the quiet comfort of this chapel of the arts. Okay yeah, chapel was maybe a little kind for the school’s auditorium which doubled as the drama Club’s rehearsal space/prop closet backstage/Mx Joan’s unofficial office because the school didn’t fund the arts programs enough. Even so this space was Roman’s sanctuary. The place where he could help create magic from the shadows, bring stories of those gone and living to life. Here, Roman found something of a community with his fellow backstagers, glee club losers, and budding thespians (the nice ones). So he loved every squeaky stage plank, every duck taped seat cushion and every speck of dust that floated in the spot lit air like fairies.
Mx. Joan wasn’t around for once, thankfully. Probably in the teacher’s lounge or rendezvousing with the school nurse or something. They were pretty chill and Roman knew he was their favorite student, but the choir director/drama club moderator/music teacher (this school really needs to fix its funding habits) wouldn’t have been too keen on Roman being deliberately late for class.
Roman walked down the aisle and to the side room by the stage. It was originally a janitor’s closet, but their club moderator transformed it into a ‘Crew Only’ Storage Unit… Okay it was still a closet, but with less bleach and more coils. This was where they kept important equipment for semester shows, like the lighting and sound boards, along with other supplies. Roman made a quick mental note to get more gaffer tape later, seeing their supply was low.
He looked through the small pile of scribbled and highlighted sheets with the lighting cues for the spring show. I’ve really gotta get a binder for these…Ah-Ha! Here you are! Roman pulled out the stapled sheets titled ‘Into the Woods Dream Set’ and carefully shoved them into his bag. Perfect timing too. He might just be able to make it to class after—
RIIIIIIIIIIING
“GAH!”
What the heck? He could’ve sworn he was alone in there, but that yelp just now said otherwise. Up close, Roman saw that the curtains were rustling, accompanied by sounds of heavy breathing and moaning, yet not a footstep to be seen or heard.
Holy SHIT, this place IS haunted! I KNEW that backdrop fiasco last semester wasn’t caused by cheap slit plywood. My supplies are the best quality allowance money can buy. Great Macbeth’s bloody knife, I TOLD Kai we should've sprung for a ghost light! Remus always teased him for being superstitious but look who’s laughing now.
He dashed back into the crew closet and grabbed the heavy push broom leaning in the corner. Roman Prince was NOT about to be caught unawares and possessed by the ghost of a disgruntled student without a fight. He would defend his domain of imagination!
Roman slowly climbed the stage steps, wielding his broom like a bow staff, turned the curtain corner where the noises were coming from and was about to release a war cry on the—
“Virgil?”
Roman nearly dropped his weapon at the sight of Virgil Alighieri—star athlete, object of his fears and supposed soulmate—curled in on himself trembling and crying.
His jacket was pulled over his head like a hood, yet Roman could see the tear stained face peeking out from underneath. Virgil’s eyes were squeezed tight, making the dark circles he’d never noticed before more prominent. There was no denying the athlete had muscle but he was more lithe—thin enough for Roman to wonder if the guy ate enough. Virgil’s trembling could rival a chihuahua, shaky hands clutching his knees, and he was clearly in the midst of a bad panic attack.
Roman had built Virgil up in his mind as being like some odd combination of Hades and Ares. The strong silent wolf within his pack of jocks, a surging thunderstorm just waiting for the right nerd to come along and piss him off enough to strike down like the bolt of Zeus.
Someone to be afraid of.
But now? Seeing him in this state, all alone and whimpering like a wounded animal...it broke Roman’s heart.
He set the broom down gently and carefully crouched down in front of Virgil. “Virgil,” he said softly. “Virgil, can you hear me?”
Virgil let out a breathy sob but otherwise didn’t seem to register him. Just how long had he been sitting here like this?
Roman was at a loss for what to do. Sure he knew plenty of people with anxiety but never saw someone having an actual panic attack before. He did know that if he didn’t help the other calm down soon, Virgil was liable to pass out. He’d never wanted to hug someone so badly in his life. Roman tentatively reached out a hand but stopped. What if touching him makes it worse? What if I startle him so badly he actually has a heart attack!? Maybe I should get the nurse. But I can’t just leave him like this.
He caught sight of the colorful soulmarks written on Virgil’s arm. Saw his own harsh thoughts: ’Dios mio, he’s staring right at me—like he wants to punch my face!’
Roman took his shame and forged it into steel. I won’t abandon you...my soulmate.
Virgirl’s let out a hiccuped cry, and this gave Roman an idea. Something from back when he was a child. It was probably stupid and a long stretch, but it was all he could think of. He readjusted himself so that he was now sitting right next to Virgil, making sure not to startle him. Roman cleared his throat, then as softly as he could, he began to sing.
“Come stop your crying, it’ll be alright.
Just take my hand, hold it tight.”
Roman one and carefully gentled his hand over Virgil’s. After a moment, he felt a light squeeze, and that encouraged him to keep going.
“I will protect you from all around you.
I will be here, don’t you cry…”
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#KDsWriting#First Impressions AU#sanders sides#sanders sides fic#romantic lamp#LAMP#patton sanders#roman sanders#logan sanders#virgil sanders#remy sanders#soulmate au#polysanders#soulmark au#soulmate tattoo#tw panic attack#fanders#hamilton refrences#hopeless gays#nicaraguan roman#because i say so!#FINALLY off hiatus
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Lucifer Meta Post - Tether Me
I have seen and read many meta flying around regarding this song but none seemed to satisfy me. On the contrary this is a song that downright confused me since I watched the episode, therefore the circulating explanations or meta given were not enough for me. I’ll not say they are without merit, they are just not clicking the right way with my mindset of all things Lucifer.
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Since August I’ve wondered why they didn’t reverse the songs between 5x05 and 5x06 meaning why they didn’t use ‘This Year’s Love’ for the ending of 5x06? It would have made sense I thought albeit it would also be cheesy. On the other hand, the commitment that was expressed and the step taken in 5x05 while Chloe comes to her realisation that they chose each other makes that song quite perfect. Especially as it echoes the 3x23 scene and kiss.
In 5x05 Chloe manages to take down the killer on her own - albeit with Amenadiel’s help - in the same way she uncovered the killer in 3x23 with Charlotte’s aid. Both episodes then end with the party who comes to a groundbreaking realisation to seek the other. In 3x23 Lucifer comes to Chloe while in 5x05 Chloe goes to the Penthouse to find Lucifer.
“If you do not need me you are working with me all this time because you want to. Because you choose to. You did choose me.” - Lucifer 3x23
Then Lucifer goes on, that he was procrastinating to face the present as he was afraid of his feelings, that Chloe wanted him because she had seen only certain sides of him and if she knew all of him she would run. Yes, Chloe did ran but from Season 4 we see that the same issue happens with Chloe and it also manifests spectacularly in 5x03 and in 5x05.
Is she a mere human that one day Lucifer will realise she is not worth it? The fact she is a miracle is that the only thing of value she has? Is the rest of her that insignificant that her existence and her relationship with Lucifer is based on the grounds she was designed for him, meaning that there will be another toy or distraction in the near or far future for him? Toys after all are meant to be played, used to promote growth and knowledge and sooner than later are disposed in storage or a bin. Learning experiences are not meant to be revisited when sucessful and as a parent Chloe knows that.
All the above are relevant believe me.
And now back in 5x05.
“His theory is that you choose to be vulnerable around me.[...] If you choose to be vulnerable around me then I chose to be vulnerable around you.” - Chloe 5x05
Now this is what leads us to the use of “Tether Me” as the chosen song in the sex scene of 5x06.
As a form of habit I always go back to AGN a fic, not really worth your time, but since day one I knew how it would end. Lucifer in the comics #75 (last one) - of the first and original series - says that “Perhaps this is the ultimate freedom, eh Dream Lord? The freedom to leave.”
In a twist of words and due to life experiences I thought to turn the tables a bit there and say that the ultimate freedom sometimes is the freedom to stay.
Lucifer as a series has explored free will and freedom a lot and we were always so fixated with the concept that freedom is a synonym of breaking free, of getting away, running. But since S2 when Lucifer in 2x14 came back to Chloe despite knowing she was a miracle and directly connected to him, in his opinion, we see that freedom in the end was not of him being liberated by this manipulation but setting his own terms into the situation by deciding to stay.
The same thing happened with Chloe in S4. She stayed in Lucifer’s life despite his relationship with Eve and his internal and external Devilness and as we saw guilt manifestation. So now we can take the concept of “Tether Me” on a whole new level. Shall we?
First of all. Tether Me.
The definition here is to practically bind someone. But they are bound out of will and so the freedom they seek is through the commitment they make on their own terms, time and ways to express it.
The physical connection as has been said before surely, is not just about sex. Many opt to forget or disregard the fact that Lucifer stayed celibate for thousands of years in Hell and then when he came on Earth he never sought a companion as he had done every time he visited Earth for millennia. Not even when he believed his time on Earth was limited and his relationship with Chloe impossible to progress.
The fact the above is always brushed aside bothers me as it shows not just Lucifer’s emotional state but also his maturity and commitment on an ‘idea’ and a person. For the first time his coping mechanism for an emotional attachment through carnal gratification is rejected because the alternative is more fulfilling even though the consummation on any level up to 5x05, is deemed improbable.
Lucifer emotionally and spiritually, as we may say, like Chloe since the end of Season 4 have, on a basic level, bound themselves to the person they love. They willingly surrendered not the option of being with someone else but their whole entity to the one they loved.
But many poets have praised love stories that were never consummated or were led to tragic endings like Romeo and Juliet as they brought forward a commitment that lacked the difficulties and grind of what may come next. It is why such love stories, see the Titanic one, are viewed as pure and everlasting. That was Deckerstar before 5x06.
In 5x06 the bounding each character experienced as an individual on the mode of surviving external pressures and grief, now turns to a new entity of two joined parts.
As Lucifer and Chloe decide to take the leap we listen to the singer singing “Tether Me”.
On a very simple way we can say that at that moment both characters stake their claim and on a cognitive BDMS level they allow the other to vine them. Do not mistake it as surrendering. They both equally maintain their identity but they commit to something that started since Season 1.
In Season 1, Lucifer asked if Chloe trusted him and she said yes. Now in 5x06 we see that trust blooming.
As characters, Chloe and Lucifer could never commit. Chloe in Season 1 lamented over the fact that Dan was not committed to his family as he was too preoccupied with his job but throughout the seasons we see that her commitment had to do with loosing her ground and allowing to be patronised in many ways. She believed that allowing her partners to take control over some aspects of her life, like with Dan in 3x11 where he was an authoritative/mentoring figure and then Marcus in the same way she was committing to that relationship. It is also interesting how she stopped doing that once Lucifer entered her life.
Lucifer told her to trust her gut, he didn’t question her authority although he did go his way when he wanted to. When Chloe was backsteping for him he didn’t walk over that space albeit for several reasons. Her silly attitude in 2x12 was met with mistrust while in 4x08 he was truthful on how he was tired of being placed in a pedestal or be expected to act a certain way.
So from Chloe’s side, her relationship with Lucifer in 5x05 finally reaches the point where as a person she does not back down to accommodate him and that is cherished because there is a difference between settling things as couple and letting others degrade you for a relationship to work. It is also why Deckerstar in a way it’s a healthy relationship despite all its ups and downs.
Lucifer on the other hand as we have seen since Season 1 he has been very assertive to his sexual relationships but in the kisses of 2x11 and 3x23 he let Chloe set the pace. The only time he initiated a kiss due to the circumstances it was in 4x10. Now in 5x05 we see both of them start their decision to progress their relationship to a sexual one.
For a being that constantly fled any form of commitment and abhorred notions of surrendering power and control it is interesting to see his choices in 5x06. First of all if we go back to his sexual history we shall see for example how his lovers in 2x14, were all describing a person who took control in the bedroom as he knew their desires and became a tool to fulfill them. You cannot have an emotional connection to a tool as you may very well know hence why none of Lucifer’s lovers ever looked back or would ever be willing to kill for him. Additionally in 3x13, it’s interesting of how Lucifer exhibits himself as a giver to the Korean mob boss. A tragic self-awareness if we want to be honest.
We can say that Lucifer is mainly a pleaser but at the same time he rebels when he is enforced or constricted by something. It is why like the song describes (Pull me back, out of my body I'm tied to my limbs They're spinning me out of control) being bound to yourself gives out this sense of vibration, where you want to be set free but also cocooned into a blanket of security. Because sometimes it’s not about setting a person open like a starfish but making sure to sooth their violent tremors and let them rest than be painfully rigid.
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Now let’s follow the rest of the lyrics.
In the corners of my mind
Long forgotten, lost in time
Turning stones to look for light
It's dark out here in the dead night
Always in my perception of things, the theory of relativity is prominent here in my opinion. It’s about time and how when we are alone time seems unclear, passing but it creates a still numbness, overthinking and we are getting lost in a self-constructed mind maze. Basically what has happened to our characters througout the seasons. While they doubt themselves, trying to find a meaning behind each other’s reactions and decisions and even the world they live in.
The ‘light’ part, for me at least, it’s a synonym of time. Of change and change often brings hope and progress. I mean progress is based on the concept that time exists and is passing so everything can only move forward whether they like it or not, but where can you find light and thus time when you are in a state of self-isolation from your wants and feelings?
So in 5x06 we see Lucifer and Chloe stretching out only to let the other in. Their awareness of freedom is having the other in their arms, to emotionally and physically consume them until there is no clear indication they were once two separate beings, but careful we are talking about their emotional connection. As I have aforementioned, they retain their attributes as individuals and as we see in 5x07 they word and respect each other for that. About what is shared and how a relationship is not the end of ones self but neither the surrendering of everything that makes you unique.
Change is never easy and never slowly paced and it is why the line of the lyrics:
For a moment, I was gone. Speed of light right to the red dawn.
For me it’s when the clock starts ticking from both ends without that meaning it’s a countdown. Mornings are set to be the set of new beginnings after all but they all require a sacrifice, a red one in preference. Hence the:
In this space, do I belong?
Breaking insecurities is hard as one set of them is replaced by yet another and it is a great song if we get it under that scope. That a relationship and particularly sex is not the resolving of everything but the transcription of yet another set of adventures down the road.
And the:
It's dark out here in my own thoughts.
Will remain a part of Lucifer’s theme in P2 but also in Season 6 so no idea if they went that far in the meta level but knowing your partner needs helps and there will be dark spells, after all bad spells it’s part of life. There is no easy fix as you will see. No matter what will be resolved, a troubled mind will remain one. The question is how you will tackle the difficulties and the bad days or moments. That is all. And the difficult moments will also be the good moments. Weird thinking for some I know but we cannot expect life, even a made up one to be perfect or even easy.
So Tether Me.
Bind me in a safe place alongside you, without the possibility to harm you or myself, to be free because I’m with you and the perception of how grand a world is, it’s but a matter of debate and time.
#lucifer meta#tether me#lucifer 5x05#lucifer 5x06#deckerstar#lucifer season 5#lucifer season 5 part 2#lucifer s5p2
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Can I be a funky folk and ask a question??? 😋What is your favorite movie or tv show, aside from Star Wars?
You absolutely can!!❤❤
That is a tough one though. I’m a film major but like... a bad one I guess cause none of my favorites are any of the classics that we have to watch lmao. I chose my favorites based on how much fun I have watching them!
But also, because of that, it is hard to pick just one so I’m going to give you three random ones from my top ten list (excluding Star Wars of course cause those are definitely there lmao)
Movies:
1. Yojimbo (1961) This is probably the one that would be the most acceptable for my film professors. It was made by Akira Kurosawa, who some of you might know as a Japanese director who made quite a few famous samurai films. For all of my fellow Star Wars fans (and maybe other film people lmao), the episode in the Clone Wars and The Mandalorian where the small farming villages are taught how to protect themselves from bandits/pirates is based on his movie Seven Samurai (which is what The Magnificent Seven was also based on). And, the season two episode of The Mandalorian, The Jedi, was heavily influenced by Yojimbo, specifically this scene:
I highly recommend the movie to anyone because it is honestly very entertaining and for my fellow film nerds, the blocking and camera work is stunning (although Kurosawa is a fantastic director and his blocking of scenes is always fantastic)
Another little fun fact, the actor who plays the main character in Yojimbo (as well as many of Kurosawa’s films) was who George Lucas originally wanted to cast as ObiWan Kenobi. His name is Toshiro Mifune.
Another bit of trivia that probably none of you are interested in is that Kurosawa always tries to have an element in every single shot of his movies. The elements always have something to do with the shot, or story as a whole and add another interesting layer to the movie. Like in the shots above, the main element is wind, signifying the turmoil and unrest that is taking place (I won’t spoil the movie for you though❤ the plot is not at all similar to the episode of the Mandalorian so there is no need to worry). In another one of his movies, Rashomon (1950), the element throughout a majority of the movie is rain (water) and it does not change until the mystery of the murder that took place is solved, and the skies become clear. (I also highly recommend that movie as well)
2. Pacific Rim (2013) Ok, this one is just a fun time. There is nothing particularly groundbreaking about it (although the special effects are stunning), I just enjoy it. And, unlike other monster movies, you see the monsters right off the bat. They don’t hide them and the story is honestly really interesting. I just really love this movie. Its fun, the characters are well written and endearing (plus the side characters the gay scientists have a side plot that actually furthers the story, the story is interesting and the concept of drifting is beautifully unique and done very well, the score is phenomenal, and as I said before, the effects are beautiful. They did a very good blend of practical and CG effects and it really pays off in the end product. Guillermo del Toro really put his heart into this (like he does with all of his projects I am so excited to see his Pinocchio movie) and it really shows. This movie is so good and I will defend it to the end of my days. Also for any of you that are interesting I am currently working on a Pacific Rim Clone Wars AU so... do with that information what you will
Side note, I really wish the sequel was good cause John Boyega is a good actor and deserves to be in a franchise that will use him and his talents properly. Guillermo del Toro did not direct that one and.... it shows.
3. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) I cannot shower this movie with enough praise. If you haven’t seen it, you need to. It is one of the most gorgeous, beautiful to look at, piece of art in every single frame thing that has ever been put to film and I will fight people on that (fuck you professor carter). The story is fantastic. The whole movie is a visual masterpiece and you can tell that a lot of hard work and love went into making it that way. Both the score and soundtrack are amazing. It is, in my opinion, the best superhero movie ever made. I could go on for hours about what a masterpiece this movie is. Please go watch it if you haven’t seen it.
TV:
1. Criminal Minds (2005-2020) I know, I know. Everyone loves this show. I know I’m basic. But again, I judge based on my enjoyment of things lol. I just like shows like this. I watch a lot of them NCIS, Castle, Bones, Law and Order. I just find them super entertaining (even if the writing can be bad at times *cough* final season of criminal minds where they tried to do a JJ and Spencer romance *cough*)
2. Face Off (2011-2018) I know there is a Nicolas Cage movie of the same name but this show is fucking awesome. It’s a reality competition show where make up artists are given a new prompt/concept/challenge that they have to do prosthetic make up for. It is so cool to see all of the designs and the process behind them being made. The first season starts off with a bunch of drama like most reality TV, but after that, the competitors are all mostly very kind with one another and it is a very friendly environment. Still a bit stressful because of the time limits but still a fun watch!!
3. What’s New, Scooby-Doo? (2002-2006) If there is any show that was my childhood (besides clone wars), it is this show. I love this show with my whole heart and Scooby-Doo is very dear to me. Its just a fun kids show. Simple as that. But I absolutely adore it.
Thank you so much for this!! I really love talking about movies and TV. And if you ask me a simple question, you will most likely get a mini essay as an answer lol.
I’d love to talk about any movie or TV show that you guys ask about though!!! If you ever want to send something in, please do so!!
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updated top albums list + recommended tracks from each bc im bored lol
*tentatively* in order
unnatural - wjsn | recommended songs: all of them (especially unnatural, supermoon, and yalla) except for rewind | skips: just rewind bc ballad /// im not sure what style to call this album but they really made such a smash, its crazy that it came out so early in the year and no gg is touching it (album wise). literally the only complaints i have are the obligatory ballad (that they always do bc they can all sing lmfao), the album cover/title (dont love the cover design and i dont love when the album name is the tt name, except in certain circumstances (a full album (especially where the title isnt necessarily from the title track) like montero) or when it's a single album (the inverse of this being rsq's prequel which couldve just been called colorfull since that was the only damn song 😐)). i also was disappointed with the outfits for last dance but that's peripheral.
timeabout, - yukika | recommended songs: insomnia & secret | skips: none /// okay to keep it very real im genuinely scared that she'll never surpass soul lady. i love, and i mean LOVE timeabout, but soul lady was on another plane of existence. like she could've held that album a little bit
the other side of the moon - gwsn | recommended songs: like it hot, starry night, i cant breathe | skips: i sing, depending on my mood /// i dont have much commentary tbh,this is just a very solid mini idk. id like to see a fusion of i cant breathe/tweaks/after the bloom/burn, maybe on their next mini. i love their brighter stuff but maybe a darker concept next (halloween cb pls pls pls)
montero - lil nas x | lowkey too soon for me to pick recommended songs but i'll say montero, scoop, lost in the citadel, sun goes down, and am i dreaming for now. will update! | skips: none /// i cant say that this is this year's sawayama bc sawayama was kinda more like a collection of really strong singles? whereas i feel like these songs shine as an album. i dont even know what to say except that im soooo surprised and impressed because i didnt know that this is the type of music he made???? like he raps but theres a lot of singing? not like belting but definitely not rapping. its kinda...alt ish? in some places? if i had to use ine genre to describe the whole album id probably say alt pop? idk but whatever it is it's definitely working
hide & seek - purple kiss | recommended songs: zombie & so why (tbh all of them) | 2am and zzzz depend on my mood but theyre def not full skips /// no bad song on the album this is crazy....i might rerank since i just listened to it for the first time but as of now idk, its good im just super impressed. ponzona wasnt for me but this cb theyre really doing all the things, lovr tht for them
produced by: [myself] - onlyoneof | recommended songs: coy & night flight | question mark depends on my mood /// im still mad at them (read: 8d) sooooo...idk. i can’t really listen to their music rn. but this mini is still good
play game: holiday - weeekly | recommended songs: check it out, weekend, holiday party | i like memories of summer rain and la luna but it depends on my mood /// very cohesive mini, def their best overall imo! not much to say, but i hope jiyoon gets well soon TTTT
enchant - orbit | recommended songs: gokurakuchouka & never gonna get away but also all of them except flor lunar | skips: flor lunar is nice but boring /// i need kpoppies to get into it im tired of being here alone cmon y’all
set - woodz | recommended songs: feel like | skips: none /// i prefer his bright tracks but this mini was solid as usual. where is the full album tho seungyoun hmmm????
guess who - itzy | recommended songs: sorry not sorry, tennis (0:0), kidding me | skips: in the morning, occasionally wild wild west /// i remember being very surprised that i liked this album, especially given that i dont like mitm. not anything groundbreaking but still solid. i think the naming of tennis (0:0) was really clever
intersection: trace - bae173 | recommended songs: green light, loved you | skips: none (sometimes the intro tho) /// honestly their music is really good??? mbk just hasn’t promoted them well, i feel like they make it a little hard to stan...i really appreciate that they’re not doing the stereotypical hard bg concept thing
lilac - iu | recommended songs: coin, flu, ah puh, troll | skips: honestly id have to relisten, some of the songs a lil boring but idr them at the moment
hello future - nct dream | recommended songs: hello future, life is still going on | skips: idr tbh, probably hot sauce though //// was very surprised that i liked this album, but the outro of hello future really got me after a few listens so i had to check it out. very decent!
killa - mirae | recommended songs: killa, sweet dreams, 1 thing | skips: none really but all of the bsides are a little mid tbh /// i will be 1000% honest in saying that the three reasons this allbum made this list are 1.) killa (the tt), 2.) none of the songs are bad, 3.) lien’s vocals. something about lien....he really just sells whatever song he’s on. his belting >>>>>>>>>>>. he makes their music very enjoyable to listen to, next in that department would be junhyuk. based on their most recent cb, siyoung and khael also contribute a lot as well. shame that the rest of the cb album kinda does nothing for me idk. random but i would really like a gg to cover higher and/or killa
& - loona | recommended songs: ur, ptt | skips: a different night, dance on my own /// these r my girls but this is not their best. ur is wonderful though, and ptt is addicting somehow. wow and be honest are fine but really not their best. i like wow’s choreo tho!
albums im excited to listen to (no particular order):
last year was weird volume 3, tkay maidza (i’ve already listened to a bunch of it but i need to sit and just listen to the whole thing)
troubled paradise, slayyter (same as above, but i didn’t even realize it came out this year, i thought it was old for some reason lol)
jo1, challenger (every song of theirs i hear i like pretty much so i need to take an organized look at them lmfao)
jo1, stranger (same as above)
only lovers left, woodz (duhhh its woodz. not out yet but im excited! i do prefer his brighter concepts and this def isn’t that. he says its not gonna be like what he’s done before but the title and concept photo that’s out rn is giving lift up)
the book of us: negentropy - chaos swallowed up in love, day6 (the title kinda bored me but we’ll see. also sungjin’s gone so.....................we’ll see.)
ancient dreams in a modern land, marina (i barely got past venus fly trap because its soooooo good. i’ve listened to a little after that but the songs i heard didn’t really compare. i have to give it a shot tho)
the chaos chapter: fight or escape, txt (i liked the blue hour mini so i need to give them a chance i suppose)
333, tinashe (i just feel like i should idk)
honorable mentions (no particular order):
blue hour, txt - discovered this year, came out last year. retroactively makes the 2020 albums list bc whew the market research that went into that thing paid off
hula hoop/ starseed ~kakusei~, loona (why tf does the album not have a name) - duhhh loona + synths = a smash. in fact like i said when it dropped i dont even wanna call them loona anymore. this is kongetsu no shoujo!!! this isn’t on my top albums list because im counting as two songs and my limit is 3. i might add it anyways lmfao. we’ll see
ugly beauty, jolin tsai - discovered this year, came out in 2018. i just really like jolin tsai idk. i had only heard that album w play and i’m not yours, both are iconic but the production quality sounds...low? like its older but ik they’re not *that* old. either way, ugly beauty does everything i wanted it to - dramatic, vocals, rapping, boa vibes...jolin tsai is a queen what can i say
also, there are of course a ton of singles that i love as well, this is albums only though lmfao. i have no idea if i could even attempt to organize the singles lol
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“You’re insane.” / “You love me, though.” with Terry Silver if you haven’t already done this?
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Identities were much like suits.
Some were expensive, custom-made, imported, lavish, branded, high-end and hideously extravagant. Some were down-to-earth, commonplace, painfully mundane, with collars intentionally ruffled in a way that suggested lower class, limited means. Some were dark and body-hugging, slightly provocative, with deep slits, showcasing the physique of his chest. The thing he worked so hard on. Some were sheer silk - somewhat unpractical, yet endlessly soft to the touch and gorgeous to look at. Easy to slip in and out of. And one could wear all of them or none of them, depending of the occasion. That was the case with personality as a concept, for Terry, anyway. He never saw any reason to limit himself. To anything. Ever. Least of a thing as silly, arbitrary, often ill-perceived, disregarded and nonsensical as human character. The thing about having no family to speak of, being rich as sin, no past to limit you or tie you down, and in control of your own destiny to the fullest extent is that you can be whoever you please. Literally whoever. Whenever. For whatever reason. The sky’s the limit. The lowliest struggling dojo owner plebian in LA, or the wealthiest man on the continent, both the northern and southern bit.
That’s what you simply didn’t or couldn’t understand.
How he could play roles and have his feelings for you be unchanged.
They were merely roles - like an actor’s parts on the silver-screen.
Silver-screen - the assonance of the word made him smile, almost.
Terry Silver on the silver-screen, playing another groundbreaking role.
Thing is, before and after the war he’s missed out on so much.
So much of himself, his youth, his innocence, and childhood.
His personhood, himself - so many changes, goals.
Now, he was going to be everyone and everything.
To make up for all the years of lost development.
And no-one could tell him a damn thing.
He wasn’t a pushover, like Twig used to be.
Terry Silver was the personification of sheer power.
-“You’re insane.” -
You accused him in heartbreak and anguish one time when he chose to, as he never tended to do with a living soul, come clean to you about his, now ingrained tendency. His psychosis, stemming from a serious case of wartime PTSD and split personality disorder, bipolar something yada yada yada, as his therapist (which he promptly fired afterwards, pulling certain strings and revoking certain licenses to practice as well) stated in his diagnostic medical report, which he then discarded in a permanent fashion. You were, regardless, Terry Silver’s one constant. One grounding aspect, if such a thing even existed. One certainty. One vestige of something that never changed. Always remained the same. He played the role of a poor man and then went back to reaping the benefits of being the paragon of taste, wealth and privilege and then ran his company and practiced his moves, planned and invested and made his deals, flaunted the roles of sheer courtesy towards people he barely even liked and he was still your man at the end of the day. And you could choose to be afraid of him. You could even choose to run. He’d still find you, bring you back and you’d have to believe that this was all genuine. When a snake sheds it’s skin, its still the same snake. Is it not?
-“You love me, though.”-
Terry stated back to you, mustering as much no-nonsense, firm seriousness as he could, because this whole situation was frankly quite amusing to him - how hurt you were by him merely having a bit of fun with swapping out identities like socks - enjoying himself to almost cosmic degrees when you were stunned into absolute silence because you couldn’t even negate or argue what he just said to you. You had no valid counter-argument, the poor angel. You did love him. Truly. Fully. All of him. He made damn certain that you would. He constructed the perfect, dream man for you to develop feelings for - became everything you ever yearned for - the picture of all your desires - and you did as planned and now you were his and his alone. Now you adored both the make-belief model he served you, and the real one, because you couldn’t help yourself and didn’t know how to differentiate them from one another and really, Terry Silver could be accused of anything and everything. Of being unwell. Unstable. Unpredictable. Dangerous. Obsessive. A pathological liar. A megalomaniac. A treat to common safety. But, being a bad actor? That he could not.
#terry silver#karate kid 3#cobra kai#tw: mental illness#yandere#to quote myself#he has several identities#and the one thing they all have in common#is that they all love you GODDAMNIT
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So there’s a really interesting interview with Deborah Pratt here. If you don’t want to pay for it, I’ll paste what I can below, but a few points first.
Deborah says she doesn’t know where Dean is, and says she misses him. I guess she hasn’t had contact with him since he left for NZ? And with Russ Tamblyn saying Dean’s hanging in there in answer to a recent Twitter question, that brings up more questions about his condition.
Deborah claims she came up with the idea of Quantum Leap, which I’ve never seen come up before. Also Don wanted to send Sam home?? I feel like she’s misremembering a lot of details/making herself seem better than she is.
“Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished… He woke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own, and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time tht his next leap will be the leap home…”
The premise of Quantum Leap succinctly and empathetically explained by a voice that spoke to viewers week to week, setting the scene at the opening of the episode. It is a voice that left an indelible print on the show, from its inception to its finale. This is the voice of its Head Writer. No, not Donald P. Bellisario, but a woman of color who was leaps ahead of her time – co-executive producer and uncredited co-creator, Deborah M. Pratt.
Deborah wrote or co-wrote 40 episodes of this sci-fi gem and her authorship of the show runs deep through its five seasons. Aside from the opening narration, Deborah is audible as the voice of Admiral Al Calavicci’s pocket computer, Ziggy. She also guest stars in the episode ‘A Portrait for Troian’ (S2, Ep11) as a grieving widow who hears the voice of her husband calling her.
Deeper still, Quantum Leap was a family affair. It was co-created with her husband at the time, Bellisario, and their daughter, also named Troian, appears as a little girl in ‘Another Mother’ (S2, Ep13, who can not only see Al, but also sees Sam as he really is, rather than as her recently divorced mom.
Prior to helming Quantum Leap, Deborah rose through the ranks as an actress, racing the screen in Happy Days, CHiPS, The Dean Martin Show and many more, and was also a writer on shows such as Airwolf and Magnum P.I. She is a five-time Emmy nominee, Golden Globe nominee and winner of countless other awards. She went on to produce CBS comedy cop show, Tequila and Bonetti, and then to co-create and produce the TV series adaptation of Sandra Bullock tech thriller, The Net. But Quantum Leap was Deborah’s brainchild – one which is emblazoned on the hearts of its faithful fans.
Deborah has since moved into directing, including on hit show Grey’s Anatomy (2020), but was generous with her time when spoke in late 2020 to leap back into the past.
It does seem that you were really ahead of your time as a female head writer and a showrunner in the ’90s, especially in science fiction TV. Was it hard for you to progress and to get Quantum Leap made?
“Usually women were relegated to comedy, very rarely was it drama or heavy drama. It’s changed, finally, with people like Shonda Rhimes (Grey’s Anatomy, Bridgerton, Scandal). But yes, I was a true pioneer, even though I don’t have a ‘created by’ credit, it was a ‘co-created by’ show – with Don. I brought him the original concept, and we were married, and he said ‘Let me just run with this. I can get it made.’ And to his credit, he understands how to tell a story to the audience. He simplified it in a way that you could welcome Quantum Leap into the world. But it was still a tough show to sell.
“I think we went back three times to pitch it to the network. It was complicated to explain. Brandon Tartikoff [the executive] said ‘It’s a great idea – It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen on TV. Let me think about it.’ Then he asked us to come back, ‘I want you to pitch it to me like I’m six years old, then pitch it to me like I’m 80 years old’ and finally he took it. Then even after the show first aired, they decided to introduce that opening where I tell the story. That was created to explain every week to a new viewer what was going on and it worked really well.”
On rewatch now, the best part of three decades later, the show feels groundbreaking in terms of the subjects you cover. Did you feel like you were pushing the envelope?
“I feel we got to do so much on that show. I remember when I did ‘Black on White on Fire’ [S3, Ep7], the networks in the South in the United States wouldn’t air it because it was a black/white relationship. Even though there is no scene where you see a black person and a white person being intimate.
You saw Sam, who was white, and the girl who was white, but because he was playing someone who was black, it was an issue. They wouldn’t air the show in the South. This was around 1992.
“It was challenging for sure. I think we pushed the limits.
“The beauty of the show too, was that it was about hope, which I see so little of on television today. Everything’s so dark, so mean, so vicious, bloody – how many people can you kill? How mean can you make your lead characters and antiheroes. I think it’s why I didn’t work as much afterwards. A) I was a woman, and B) a black woman. There weren’t any black female executive producers that I knew of in drama. I got to do <em>The Net</em> because it had a female lead, but that was almost ten years after <em>Quantum Leap</em> was created. Any show I brought in that had a black lead was never bought, or a female lead, was never bought.
“I remember I wrote a big action piece – like an Indiana Jones, but female-driven, feature film – and pitched it and the studio executive said, ‘Yeah, yeah, but when did the guy come and rescue her?’ And I said, ‘She doesn’t – she rescues him.’ The look on his face. I’ll never forget it as long as I live.”
The show darted around TV schedules, but the fans remained with it, and still to this day hold it dear to their hearts. Was that palpable at the time, or has that grown since?
“I think near the end of the first season, Harriet Margulies [Production Assistant on the show] found a chat room after an episode where people from across the country talked about it and it became the ‘watercooler.’ We were the first television show that had a chat room as a watercooler. Before that, it was literally you going into your office and standing around the watercooler and talking about movies or TV shows you were watching. Suddenly, it was online. So we started to go into the chat room and talk to people about what they liked and what they didn’t. Not necessarily telling them who we were, but that fan base is what kept us on the air because the network didn’t know what to do with us. There was no show like it, so they couldn’t like pair us with anybody.
“In the five years we were on, I think they moved the show six times and the fans still found it, they followed it, they watched it. That’s how we knew we had something unique and special. To this day, I’ll go into a meeting with a young executive who’ll go, ‘I have to tell you, I loved Quantum Leap. I used to watch it with my mom and dad’.”
Scott Bakula was such a great hero and heartthrob as Dr. Sam. What was he like to work with?
“He was so approachable, you know, in the sense that he had this great, easy acting style. He took chances and he was likeable – in a way that he could be a man’s man and a woman’s man at the same time. He’s really a brilliant actor. I am saddened by the fact that he has not had the opportunity to do movies in the way that could really have lifted his career. He’s had an incredibly successful television career. He’s a good actor. He’s a kind man. I’ve always admired him and felt like when we were working together, I had a friend that I loved to write for because he was always so giving and willing and wanting to take chances as an actor. So it was fun to go down to the trailer and say, ‘Guess what? You’re going to be pregnant this week’.
He does everything in the show from sing and dance to baseball, football, hopping over car bonnets to fights and martial arts. Did you know he had such a wide skill set from the outset, or did you write the challenges for him to rise to?
“I think we had conversations with him about that. I also knew that he had been on Broadway doing musicals. I knew he could sing and dance. When I wrote ‘Sea Bride’ [S2, Ep20], I wrote a tango number – that was unique for him. When Don knew that he could play the guitar… We asked Scott, ‘What do you want to do?’ And he said he wanted to do a musical and I think that’s how the ‘Catch a Falling Star’ episode [S2, Ep10] came about, which involves a performance of ‘Man of LaMancha’.”
Admiral Al Calavicci – he’s so much more than wisecracking and surface jokes or flirtation. There’s so much depth to his character. Was that fleshed out early on with an end to end journey for him in mind, or did his character evolve through the seasons?
“It was a little bit of both. Dean Stockwell had been on Broadway at five-years-old and had been a major child movie star. I remember when we wrote the show where Sam had the chance to save Al – ‘The Leap B4, Ep1] – he was so good in that. I’ll never forget how beautiful that was. And then in the very, very end, I love the fact that Sam did change history and Al ended up wih his beautiful wife with five kids.
“I remember once asking Dean, ‘Do you want us to write more drama for you? Big dramatic moments?’ And he said, ‘I want you to look at me right now. I want you to tell me what you see.’ And I said, ‘Well, your performance, the pain, fear and loss and all that, because you’re such an incredible actor.’ And he said ‘For me to perform that, I have to be it and live it. So don’t do too many.’
“He had that depth of acting talent. He is so good – Dean, wherever you are, I love you. I miss you.”
The episodes that follow later in the seasons involving celebrities – Sam as Elvis, Dr. Ruth, or Lee Harvey Oswald, was that kind of a direction that you always foresaw? It feels like a sea change as the show progressed.
“The stories were designed, for the most part, to be so, so simple in that they were everyday stories. They weren’t change-the-world stories. I think the biggest one was Lee Harvey Oswald, and maybe the one involving Marilyn Monroe – those were with people that could have had a ripple effect.
“But there were other little kisses with history in the show, but they were very hard to do. They ran into a child version of Donald Trump in a taxi cab, [‘It’s A Wonderful Leap’ – S4, Ep18], then they ran into a little boy who is supposed to be Michael Jackson – Sam teaches him to moonwalk [‘Camikazi Kid’ – S1, Ep8]. The first time I did a kiss with history was ‘Star-Crossed’ [S1, Ep3] – Sam meets up with the woman that left him at the altar and they’re at the Watergate Hotel. That was fun stuff.”
Sam managed to awkwardly kiss lots of ladies in that sense of ‘Oh God, they’re going to kiss me and I’ve got to be this person, what am I supposed to do.’
“We never, ever really discussed what happened to Sam. We didn’t want him to be encumbered by a relationship. But I didn’t get to kiss him. My husband wouldn’t leave the set on the episode I was in!”
Your move into directing – from your TV drama Cora Unashamed back in 2000, to Grey’s Anatomy just last year. Is that something you wanted to do sooner? Were there barriers prohibiting you?
“I was supposed to direct on Quantum Leap four times. Every time it was coming up, something would happen. The only women who directed on the show were two black women – Debi Allen [Fame, Everybody Hate Chris, Jane the Virgin] and the other was a woman named Anita Addison. They each did two shows.
I said, ‘If I’m not doing this, I want black women.’ There were no other black women. And it was a fight. I tried to get black women directors on the show, but I could never get them past.
Then when I went to do The Net, the studio blocked it. I give huge amounts of credit for executive producing to Shonda Rhimes and what she has been able to do. She did what I thought I was going to be able to do. She’s so talented and I’m such a fan of her and her shows. I’m looking forward to what she’s going to do on Netflix. And it was an honour to do Grey’s Anatomy because I’m a fan of the show and I’m really grateful to have that opportunity.”
Has there been progress in terms of female directors and filmmakers being given opportunities?
“It’s very hard for women because there aren’t a lot of women executives at the studios. There are more now. And so there is an evolution that’s happening, but it still feels slow. There were shows run by people I gave opportunities to back in the day, but when I said, “hey, I want to direct on your show,” the response was, “oh, there’s too much machismo. There’s too many male hormones around here. They’ll eat you alive.” And I went, “no, they won’t, you’ll protect me. How about if I do my job?” And that was only last year. But there are more opportunities. There are more women making decisions, but we have to do more because women’s stories and women’s voices are more than half the population – we need to hear those stories. The historic ones as well as the contemporary ones.”
Is there a leap that was your favourite overall? That you feel made you made your mark with?
“’The Color of Truth’ [S1, Ep7] touched so many people and it opened a dialogue. I remember we got a letter from a teacher who said she brought the VHS in and she played it to her class, up until Jesse [Sam as an ageing black chauffeur in ’50s Deep South] goes and sits down at the counter in the restaurant. Then she stopped it and asked the students what they thought happened next. They thought that he just ordered lunch. And then she played the rest and that hostility and the animosity he endures and the fact that he had to get up and leave really incensed these children. They had never heard of or experienced racism. They didn’t want to believe that it really happened. This is how history gets buried and why television is so powerful and important. It opened a conversation that she could not have necessarily had in her classroom, according to her, had she not brought that show in to share with her students.
“We had another letter that was very moving, and I want to say it might’ve been ‘The Leap Home’ [S2, Ep1-2]. There was a couple who wrote and said they had a child that was on a cancer ward and every Thursday the whole ward would watch Quantum Leap. Their child was dying and they had kind of given up and it was just time to help that child transition out of this world. They watched the show and she said, ‘We realized we gave up hope. When we watched the show, we realized we didn’t have to give up hope and we wanted to write to you. It’s now six months later and the crisis has passed. The cancer is in remission. Our child is up and going back to school. And we just want to thank you for reminding us that hope has its own power’.”
Its power and poignancy has never diminished. Though the final episode, ‘Mirror Image’ (S5, Ep22), with the caption saying Sam doesn’t get to go home, does leave a sucker punch.
“That was our last fight. Don was going to send him home. And I said, ‘You can’t, you can’t send him home. If you ever, ever, which we’ve not ever been able to get Universal to let us do it, want to do a movie… If you want to keep the story going, you have to leave Sam out there in the hearts of people, leaving people thinking he could leap into their lives’. And at first Don said, ‘No, no, we need to bring him home’. And I said, ‘Do not bring him home. Or you will end the show. If you leave the hope out there, that Sam is out there and he could leap into your life and make a difference’. You keep the show alive in the hearts and the minds of the fans. And I think I was right.”
The ending was poetic for me as a viewer, but your point about Sam still being out there – Is there a leap back to the future for Quantum Leap?
“I started writing a project called <em>Time Child</em> about Sammy Jo Fuller. I actually wrote a trilogy in Season 5 where Sam leapt back three times into the same family and the second time he leapt he ended up in bed with this character and conceived a child. Then the third time he leapt in, he met her at 10 years old – a girl named Sammy Jo Fuller. So in my vision, Sammy Jo Fuller grows up. I actually have Al say, ‘Sammy is in the future with me. We’re trying to bring you home.’ That was my set-up way back in 1993, in Season 5, to say someday, Sammy Jo being his daughter might take over….
“This was the ’90s. Women heroes didn’t exist really – other than comic books – Wonder Woman was there, Super Girl was there. But I set it up in the show that Sammy Jo was going to bring him home. Sadly, I have not been able to get Don and the studio to give me the green light for Time Child. It might happen someday.”
Right now, it feels like we need more shows that offer hope. Is there a place for a reboot on streaming platforms?
“Universal keep saying they want to bring it back. They’re not going to give it up to Netflix because they have [US streaming service] Peacock now and still have NBC. I personally think it should be on a full blown network. The hard part would be that it would have to be recast if there was a female version using my character Sammy Jo Fuller. Or if they just redid the show, it would be interesting in the sense that there was such an innocence about the show. I still believe that there is an audience out there that wants it, that longs for looking at the past through the eyes of somebody in the present. But who would that person be if you did the show now, what are those eyes like?
“We’re living in the time of COVID and suddenly you go back in time. How do you warn people that this is going to happen? How do you warn people about 9/11? How do you warn people about things in the future?
“I mean, one of the beauties of that innocence too, and I thought that was a great gift from Don to the concept, was that Sam’s memory as Swiss cheese – he didn’t remember things and that made it a lot easier, and Al was not allowed to tell him what was happening in the present. There’s a lot of detail woven into the mythology that allowed it to be innocent and in the moment of time travel. You didn’t have to drag the future back with you.”
Do you have an actress in mind to play Sammy Jo in a reboot?
“Oh my gosh, Jennifer Garner. I always felt she would be a great female Sam. She’s an ‘every woman.’ She’s funny. She does great drama. When I think of a female Sam or even Sammy Jo, I think Jennifer – in a heartbeat. She’s so great in Alias. That show just never stopped. You couldn’t take a breath. If I had to go younger, somebody that would have that kind of believable humour that you think could actually rescue you – maybe Jennifer Lawrence. She’s pretty formidable in that sense.”
“To bring Quantum Leap back. If they’re thinking about it, now’s the time to happen. Tell people to write to Universal! Write for the attention of Pearlena Igbokwe – if anyone can bring it back, she can do it. Write! Write to Pearlena – she’s the one that’ll make it happen. That’s how we stayed on the air for five and a half years. Fans unite and write!”
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do you have any fic recs for the mentalist?
I told you I’d post some for you tonight and here they are!! Unfortunately I did a lot of reading while I was still obstinately REFUSING to make another ffnet account, so I didn’t save like a good 90% of what I read, some of which was excellent. But here are some of the ones I did +fav or whatever they call it there. No particular genre since your ask was open ended, but, well-
(sorry in advance - these are mostly ffnet links but they’re worth braving that site I swear)
((also this is definitely a non-exhaustive list. there’s some real talent in this fandom))
Consummate Connection Confrontation - these are three separate fics in that order by the absolutely inimitable @hardlyloquatious. Literally everything they’ve written is amazing. I’ve completely exposed myself because my first rec is sort of. uh, lightly 18+. But I had to put this author at the top of my list because I love them so much. The way Jane talks in Consummate has literally kept me awake more than once. It’s honestly more sweet and touching than anything but it’s definitely uh. not something your boss should catch you with I guess.
Long Lost, Long Last - same author. This was written and posted before My Blue Heaven aired, but it has the same vibe as that episode, except deliciously drawn out. It starts off with Jane being his kinda silly self and deciding he wants to try his hand at letter writing, so he writes little notes for the whole team. Lisbon is the only one who gives him a note back, and they take to leaving each other lil notes - until RJ is killed and Jane disappears to do some soul searching. This fic is so... beautiful and I think about it with some frequency. “Consummate” is hot but Long Lost Long Last is why HL is my fave TM author.
Practice - okay one last one from this author. This one isn’t like, groundbreaking, but it’s just the SWEETEST look at how much Jane tries after they get together. I’m a sucker for Jane being sweet. Clearly, since that’s why Consummate is at the top of this list.
Blood Red Moon - the author is 221b Baker Street. Their fics are a LOT more heavy. But they’re so, so good. Their mastery of language is incredible and their fics read like professionally written books - and they do Jane/Lisbon banter incredibly well. Some of the imagery they use has genuinely stuck with me. Also see Sacraments in Scarlet (Jane pretends to be a priest), Arsenic and Red Lace (murder at an assisted care facility and Jane being the cheery and extremely sad bastard that he is), Jonathon Redding (a take on Red John that is deeply clever), a Road lEss traveleD (this is. unsettling. it’s extremely good but save it for the last from this author, wait until you love them first. The payoff for not-as-it-seems comes towards the end but it really is worth waiting for).
Blood Wind - by Gone2Far speaking of unsettling. THIS ONE. God this fic is so good. Spooky as fuck in a way that’s a little X-Filesy and incredibly well written. I want to live very far from this fic while at the same time wrapping myself in its words so I can borrow a crumb of talent.
In Case series - @halfagonyandhope (yay, they’re on tumblr). This rec list isn’t necessarily in any sort of order because after HL, halfagonyandhope is second fave author. This particular series is SO ROMANTIC and LOVELY and I kinda wanna cry kinda wanna read it again and again. My favorite one in the series is Ya’aburnee but you have to read the ones preceding it to make any sort of sense. Also now that I’m looking at all of these again I’m realizing that apparently the second installment stuck with me more than I expected because I wrote more than 10k words of something that has a vaguely similar theme (which I will post later).
Qumran and Reset - by J. Roddam. This author only ever seems to have written these two but they’re fucking EXQUISITE. I generally avoid AUs in this fandom because the concept of erasing Jane’s past does NOT sit right with me but Reset is one of the only exceptions I’ve made. It has soulmate vibes without being like, a tumblr soulmate story. Both of them are living SUCH different lives than their canon counterparts but somehow it actually works and it’s beautiful. Qumran is similarly without peer.
Pretending, I: Witness - @inkstainedfingers97. I wouldn’t even know where to start but I love every single thing about this fic - and it’s recently been completed! I was lucky enough to get to binge read a majority of it but waiting for updates was also genuinely thrilling too. Fake/Real Married for WITSEC reasons, real love for obvious reasons. Also the Lorelei dynamic is way more intense than on the show in a way that’s at once very uncomfortable and very believable.
27 Minutes - by Idan. Okay. Okay so this author commented on one of my fics and I almost lost it because I really love theirs. I was smiling for like an hour when I saw the notification from them!! 27 Min is my favorite one but In The Cards is widely rec’d by others for very good reason, it’s so good. The Pretender is also excellent, written based on promos of Orange Blossom Ice Cream and so a bit AU from there.
Eighteen Hours - I would definitely be remiss if I didn’t mention @leafenclaw (and actually, I was remiss because I realized while making this post that theirs were some of those early fics I read that I never +fave etc, so ty for the ask so I can do it now, anon). Leafenclaw writes SO well and I have an extra soft spot for them because they pointed me in the direction of a lot of fics and were one of the first ppl I ever spoke with in this fandom since luckily they’re on tumblr too. Also Kindred (note - both of these are still WIP but being updated/worked on!) Chasing Storms is complete, incredible, angsty, beautiful. Also I kind of want to borrow the idea of writing one story around a set of many prompts like this. I don’t actually think I’ve ever seen anyone else do that?
The Long Way Back - by LouiseKurylo I consider them sort of a friend because they’ve been SO supportive while I was writing Saving Grace but even before that with a new suit, another pair of socks, and a terrible couch. And I’ve seen them supporting everybody else too - they’re just SO NICE. Their fics are also very interesting, and they sort of bring Jane and Lisbon much more into the real world. There’s more real life problems to go hand in hand with mentalist plot type problems, which makes for very interesting reading. Fischer in this particular fic is FASCINATING. Also, a hot tip @leafenclaw shared with me: Louise’s faves list has 500 stories in it and pretty much everything in there is worth reading.
Last but OBVIOUSLY not least I wanna mention some of the very cute and talented and actively posting people here on tumblr in our little mentalist squad of approximately 12 people lmao. You probably already know @gracevanpelt aka LilyThistle’s Big Blue, Red Road, Breathe, and Collusion. I have an especially soft spot for Breathe actually even though it’s the least plotty of the lot. I just think it works so perfectly on its own, as is, like a quiet little interlude. No muss no fuss as Jane would say - and I love it a lot. @asambergs aka cmbing’s how glad i am that you exist is actually the FIRST piece of Mentalist fic I ever read, and then I was pulled down this slippery slope to end up posting this at 11:52 pm on a Thursday night. And I’m not about to forget @pjane aka epaynter whose words are so beautifully atmospheric and who writes the softest Jane (I love Soft Jane and will fight anyone who disagrees about it!!)
Aaaand a nice and shameless self plug in the form of ao3 links: Come Fly With Me (this is the softest thing I’ve ever written), Saving Grace (an actual, complete, fully plotted fic. 14 year old me is SHAKING), a new suit, a terrible couch, another pair of socks (this last was inspired by @asambergs fics actually, and was the first thing I wrote in this fandom!)
#the mentalist#the mentalist fic#PLEASE let the readmore work this is a longass post#long post#i will be reblogging it at least once so you see it anon - idk what time zone you are!#Anonymous
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March 2021 Roundup
Reading
Benevolence by Julie Janson - One of those books that caught my eye at the library (I’m a sucker for the “top picks” shelf) and I’m glad I picked up. The story of Muraging, given over in 1813 to the Parramatta Native School, but always trying to find a way back to her family and culture in the brutal early days of colonisation - resilient in the face of so much hardship. Janson is a Burruberongal woman of the Durag Aboriginal Nation, and Muraging is based on her great-great grandmother and Durag oral histories. An engrossing but often difficult read, about a period of history not often told from this perspective.
One Day by David Nicholls - A book that has been sitting on my bookshelf for so long I don’t even remember buying it. I vaguely recall seeing the movie adaptation on a plane once so must have enjoyed it, but can’t say I would recommend this book. Depicting St Swithin’s Day every year in the lives of two absolute character cliches, from one night stand, to friendship, romance and marriage. The concept is neat and the writing has wit, but I just couldn’t bring myself to care about Dex (insufferable twat) and Emma (not like other girls) or their love story. Okay, it’s not that bad. It kind of grew on me by the end.
Watching
Superman and Lois (episodes 1-5) - I’ve had reservations about this show because of this but am giving it a shot. I have not followed the Arrowverse/Crisis but a friend did her best to explain it to me, although honestly I found it this show works just as well as a standalone. The premise is simple - Lois and Clark return to Smallville with their twin sons for teen superhero angst part two. To be honest, it feels so much like a Smallville revival that...I kind of wish it was?
Tyler Hoechlin makes a good Clark, but that padded Superman suit is an embarrassment - get rid of those fake muscles and show us some super collarbones! Elizabeth Tulloch is growing on me as Lois - she’s very...subdued, but imo lacking that spark Kidder, Hatcher, and Durance had. Honestly, subdued it how I would describe the show overall. Also the colour palette is sooo drab because gritty realism I guess.
I enjoy the family drama aspect of it, although I wish one of the kids was a girl. I mean, I understand why they’re twin boys - the son becomes the father and the father the son and all that - complete with both sons being named after both of Clark’s fathers (is there a name for the trope of the hero’s kids being named after his dead family/mentors as if the mother had no input??). The Captain Luthor/Morgan Edge plots are still in the setup stage so hard to comment on them.
I sound harsh, I don’t dislike the show overall (and there’s some really good elements there). We’ll see, I guess.
Man of Steel/Batman v Superman/Zack Snyder’s Justice League - I’ve never really been a huge fan of the Snyderverse, and have been trying my best to avoid the Discourse about the Snyder cut over the past few years (from both sides). I have however been following what Ray Fisher has had to say, and can’t deny my interest was piqued by the idea that there was an entirely different film out there that did right by its characters. So I went back and revisited MoS/BvS before embarking on JL to give the franchise another shot.
While I still don’t really vibe with Snyder’s aesthetic (it’s just a bit bleak and muddy for me) I think these films are actually better when viewed together as one long story. I can appreciate that he made an effort to step away from the Donner nostalgia, and tell this epic modern myth of gods among men, and can enjoy it for what it is. The Snyder cut was entertaining enough, and I quite enjoyed aspects of it - Cyborg is indeed the heart of the film (but I honestly wish it had been explored in his own movie), and Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and the Flash break up the dreary tone.
It was nice to see the Amazons again (and I loved “Amazon’s, show your fear”/“we have no fear”). I like this take on Clark and Lois, even if most of the relationship happens offscreen, and there’s certainly more in the Snyder cut - even if I wish there was greater depth to Clark’s arc in particular, less of the god and more of the man.
I did however notice a pattern in these films in that I was interested/compelled by the first world building/character half, and having my eyes glaze over in the endless action cgi-fest of the second half (I have this issue with Marvel too). And the Snyder cut is indeed endless - it rivals Return of the King for number of endings but is much less cohesive, like Snyder was throwing everything at the wall since this might be his last chance. There’s a nice montage at the end with a bit of hope, and I was thinking well this is a nice uplifting note to end on, thank you! But nope, twenty more minutes of grimdark prophecising (in isolation, an interesting scene, but felt so out of place to show the team torn apart again immediately after we’ve just seen them come back together).
I also lol’d at David Thewlis getting a front credit for what amounted to his cgi face behind a massive helmet. Collect that paycheck, my man!
Coming 2 America - I watched the original as a teenager more times than I can count, truly iconic. Look, I dislike the sequel/reboot/remake merry go round when it dominates the scene, but to be honest I am a sucker for a sequel that’s lovingly made and really just an excuse to get the band back together and have fun. Worth it for the costumes and dance sequences alone (especially the En Vogue/Salt n Pepper/Gladys Knight mashup), but I really enjoyed this overall. There’s nothing groundbreaking and it doesn’t try to be. Was it necessary? No. But did I enjoy it? Absolutely.
Actually, scratch that. The costumes and hair are absolutely necessary.
The Prom (dir. Ryan Murphy) - Now I love a movie musical and this was...fine. It’s sweet and I enjoyed Meryl Streep doing her best Patti Lupone, and Nicole Kidman clearly having fun (even if she can’t Fosse to save her life) although I can’t say I found any of the songs memorable. James Corden, however, is pure cringe for reasons outlined here. But overall it’s light and fluffy, and not a terrible way to spend two hours of your life.
Superstore (seasons 1-6) - I’ve been binging on this for a while, and it’s a fun little show about the employees of a big box store - it’s nice to see America Ferrera back on screen (with producer credit). A great, diverse cast, but MVPs for me are Lauren Ash as Dina (you may recognise her voice as Scorpia from She-Ra), and Kaliko Kauahi as Sandra. While it did touch on some real-world issues - corporation malfeasance, unionisation, etc - ultimately it’s lighthearted and pleasant, especially the series finale that just goes full happy ending with a nice break from grim reality.
Allen v Farrow (dir. Kirby Dick and Amy Ziering) - I’ve never watched a Woody Allen film, and the clips I’ve seen of Woody Allen films haven’t changed my mind on this point. But what struck me seeing the clips of Manhattan in this documentary is just how young Muriel Hemingway was - this is not the Hollywood standard 22 year old playing 17 (which is problematic in other ways) but an actual teenager with a baby face and childlike voice, in bed with a 40+ year old man and I am baffled that this film is so highly regarded - if nothing else it’s right up there on the screen.
But of course there is so much else, which makes this documentary hard to watch at times. To those who have followed these events there’s not much new here, but it does an excellent job of compiling the sources together and giving a timeline of events, as well as refuting many of the pro-Allen arguments, and giving Dylan a chance to speak for herself. There’s also a companion podcast which is worth a listen for added perspective.
Writing
I actually finished something, finally! Posted Debrief, a Smallville one-shot (3920 words). 1670 words done on my other Smallville wip.
Posted chapter 41 of Turn Your Face to the Sun (1865 words). Now that the Obi-Wan show is actually happening, I need to get this finished before it all becomes moot.
Total: 7455 words this month, making 23,962 for the year.
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He Was A Skater Boy... (Chapter 4) (Hotch/Reid)
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner / Spencer Reid
Summary: Aaron and Spencer's first study session turns into something... cuddlier?
Word Count: 1,638
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8
Chapter 4: Spirits in my room, friend or foe?
Okay. This is fine. This is fine. Spencer is not freaking out. Sitting on Aaron’s bed, staring at the Blink-182 poster stuck to the wall behind a bong and- is that a fucking encyclopedia? - surrounded by the sights and smells of one incredibly intoxicating Aaron Hotchner. Spencer is decidedly not freaking out. No matter what the sweat on his brow may indicate.
The little alarm clock on Aaron’s desk was ticking ticking ticking, counting down from 30 with 5 minutes left. 5 minutes left.
They were studying. Well, Aaron was studying. Spencer was tutoring. Spencer was tutoring Aaron and Aaron was studying at his desk right now filling out a practice test that took Spencer no more than two minutes to write up and now he was waiting in silence for him to finish. Not freaking out.
Nothing had happened when they got to the dorm. Aaron had simply shown him around the small room by pointing at things. “Bed. Desk. Bathroom. Welcome to the lavish lifestyle of a broke college student.”
What had immediately caught Spencer’s eye was the plethora of books strewn about the room. These books weren’t the boring law manuals that you’d expect a law student to have in their dorm (those were just kept on the desk). These were worn out and used classic novels, Dickens and Dickinson… biographies, Dahmer, Bundy… mystery novels, Aaron had the whole David Rossi collection! That alone could have made Spencer swoon.
The next thing he noticed was Aaron pulling his shirt off and replacing it with a comfy Columbia University sweatshirt. It was in times like these that Spencer really was so grateful to have an eidetic memory, because though Aaron’s bare chest was only visible for a second, that was all he needed for the memory to be ingrained in his mind forever. Aaron hadn’t even mentioned it, just threw an Introduction To Criminal Law manual at his chest and said, “This is what we’re doing this week, gonna help me?”, so the younger boy closed his mouth, sat on the unmade bed, and read the manual in just a few minutes.
While he wrote the quiz questions down, Aaron had asked him if he even needed to read words or if his supercomputer brain just processed everything without any effort. Spencer felt the need to point out that one doesn’t really need to read texts word for word, your brain will comprehend the information before you even realize you’re reading, but Aaron had already moved on to another subject, stating that his brain must be like Spongebob’s. When Spencer had furrowed his eyebrows and pouted, Aaron explained that Spongebob’s brain was like an office, full of filing cabinets and little versions of himself running around screaming. Followed by a quieter “How have you never watched Spongebob?”
“Hah, the screaming part is actually quite accurate, it seems my mind is in a constant state of distress,” Spencer retorted.
“Are you distressed right now?”
“That would be what the ‘constant’ part of my statement implied, yes.”
“Smartass.”
“I’m a genius, Aaron”
Aaron only chuckled and rolled his eyes, “Why are you distressed?”
His eyes darted around the room, not daring to look Aaron in the eyes, how was he supposed to tell him he was nervous because everything that’s happened in the past few hours was so far out of his depths? He only shrugged and mumbled, “New environment, I guess.”
“Well, what can I do to make you feel comfortable? How do you usually relax?”
The response was immediate, “I read.”
“Tell you what, after I finish studying we can sit down and read for a bit. Get you used to this ‘new environment’, after all, you’ll be here a lot. I’m a terrible test-taker.”
Spencer smiled, “Sounds good, and you can’t be that bad.”
He got back to writing the questions. The manual covered the basics of what crime is as a concept and the structure of criminal justice. Things that Spencer already knew from reading several manuals and books on his own time. He wasn’t lame, it’s just that technical manuals tend to be more fun and informative than reading Pride and Prejudice for the seventh time, Mom. Nonetheless, he attempted to make the questions easy, just to get a sense of where Aaron was at so that they could focus on his problem areas. Spencer was good at studying.
Aaron sat at his desk to take the test, hunching over and biting at the tip of his pencil. The timer was set to half an hour but during his silent not-freak-out Spencer noticed he only wrote for seven minutes and spent the rest of the time erasing and rewriting. The timer sounded and brought his consciousness back to the forefront. He took the paper Aaron handed him and took a few seconds to look it over.
Fuck. It was bad. So bad. Spencer tried to keep a neutral face on but Aaron had gotten every question wrong and the answers were so underdeveloped it was like grading a kid’s spelling quiz. Distressed, he looked up to Aaron’s pure innocent unsuspecting perfect face.
“Aaron… These are all wrong… For ‘define crime in your own words’ you just put ‘when bad people do bad things’...”
“Oh..shit. God, I am such a doofus. How will I ever pass these midterms?” Aaron’s grin was wicked.
Spencer rolled his eyes and shoved the paper to Aaron’s chest. He had a feeling the skater was smarter than he let on…
“It’s getting late, I should go… We’ll work on your ‘answers’ next time.”
A flash of worry crossed Aaron's face, but Spencer must have imagined it. They’d just spent hours together, surely he was getting sick of him. He started packing his things, but Aaron interrupted him, “Wait…” Aaron’s hand on his wrist stopped him from packing any further, “Stay the night. Besides, I promised you we’d read, right? I am a man of my word, Doctor Reid.”
Spencer couldn’t keep the shy smile off his face, he knew he had to say yes or he’d regret it. Not only that but Penelope would never let him live it down.
“You did promise, and we can’t have you start breaking promises now, it would hurt my feelings.” At Spencer’s fake pout, Aaron grinned, pushed him gently back onto the bed and said, “Show me what you’re reading today.”
--------------------------------
After about 45 minutes of reading side by side on the bed, Spencer reading a technical book on the life cycle of the praying mantis and Aaron mostly watching Spencer while pretending to read a JFK biography, the older man decided he’d had enough of the silence. Don’t get him wrong, he was immensely enjoying staring at Spencer's lips mouthing the words and at his long fingers as he flipped a page every few seconds, but he wasn’t into this silence.
“What is that?” He reached out for a book that was peeking out from Spencer's satchel on the bed. It was rather large in height and had gorgeous red art on the cover. It looked quite old, quite important.
“Oh, that’s 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea by Jules Verne”
Aaron let out a grunt of understanding, urging Spencer to go on, “It’s a classic. It was published in 1870 and was groundbreaking for its time. 20,000 leagues is roughly 50,000 miles and it’s the depths that the Captain of a futuristic submarine captain and three adventurers travel to. They encounter monsters and new landscapes, it’s actually the book that we get a lot of adventure tropes from today. You know Nemo the fish?”
Aaron nodded.
“Well, that name comes from Captain Nemo from the book. Jules Vernes wrote a lot of influential novels, like Around The World In 80 Days which I’m sure you’ve heard of.”
At that he nodded again. The story sounded interesting, and Spencer seemed to have a deep interest in it. Besides, Aaron could listen to this boy talk all day.
Aaron bit his lip timidly, “It sounds really lovely, why don’t you read it to me?”
Spencer was taken aback for a second but quickly erased the shock from his features. That might have been the most seductive sentence he’d ever heard, and it came from Aaron’s mouth. Even better.
Trying not to show his nerves, Spencer smiled and said “Of course.”
He set his and Aaron’s books down, took out the Jules Vernes from his bag, and settled underneath a blanket. Aaron helped himself to a share of the blanket, and usually Spencer would feel uncomfortable being so close to someone, but he noticed he didn’t mind at all. He began to read, ‘The year 1866 was signalised by a remarkable incident…’
As Aaron listened intently to the story, the younger genius couldn’t help but notice that dark-haired man was staring at him. A big part of his insecurity was telling him that it was because he had something on his face, that Aaron was staring at him because he was a joke to be gawked at. But there was another blooming part of his brain that thought maybe, just maybe, Aaron Hotchner was staring at him because he thinks he’s pretty.
At some point between Chapters five and six, Aaron’s head found Spencer’s shoulder, a bit after that Aaron’s eyes closed, but Spencer knew he was still listening because he’d let out a low chuckle once in a while that he could feel through his arm. Then Spencer’s own eyes began to feel heavy and his cheek found the top of Aaron’s soft hair. His words began to drawl and the book in his lap fell closed. Warm under the blanket, pressed close to his new friend, it just felt right to succumb to the black behind his eyelids.
#criminal minds#aaron hotchner#spencer reid#aaron hotchner x spencer reid#hotchreid#hotch x reid#skater boy#my fic#penelope garcia
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