#like is this really a choice. really. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

saint-ambrosef · 1 year

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someone will go on about how horrible their experience with the public education system is. that it ruined their teenage mental health, didn't teach them shit, taught them to put all their worth in academic success, suffered bullying and self-esteem issues, etc.

but bring up home schooling and they're instantly like "bUt wHaT aBOuT soCiaLiZInG??"

as if the miserable experience of eight hour school days they just described is the only means (or superior form) of socialization for kids.

#also like #putting aside the stupid stereotype of home schooled kids as 'weird' or w/e #i would much rather have a happy confident and well-adjusted kid thats a little socially awkward #than a kid that can talk street lingo but lacks self-esteem and suffers from crushing social-induced depressive episodes #like is this really a choice. really.#for every awkward home schooled kid youve met i promise you've met ten other “normal” people that you didnt even know were home schooled #also shit man i've met a fuck ton of kids who went to regular school who were weird AF

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kavaleyre · 2 months

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• The Hanged Man •

“Compared to what Falin went through? This is nothing.”

#my art #laios touden #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dunmeshi laios #hanged man #falin touden #dungeon meshi spoilers #cw blood #walk it off kid walk it off #I really thought hanged man was a good choice for this moment #hanged man is all about sacrifice and introspection and intuition #and a moment of trials that lead to clarity #also when he was falling??? with the blood out of the dragons mouth???#stunning #i love him so much #the line art for this was so fast and then I colored and revolted the flats for like. 20 hours #like how it turned out in the end tho #kavaleyre

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nostalgicfun · 5 months

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Feel free to share which is your favorite NOW in the tags, but this particular poll is about which you preferred as a child! ⭐ In a few days we'll do another one with more options!

#there are some very obvious choices omitted because #1. I'm doing several of these and they have different themes!#2. There are some choices that would be absolutely too popular like ATLA and Spongebob and Scooby Doo #OOH I should do an allstars poll that pits all the really big ones against each other #polls

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arabian-batboy · 1 year

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Don’t play with me now, this better be for real-

#they FINALLY made the right choice #logic wins #although I really hope this isn't him here #and its just a random guy from the Earth Kingdom #because I'm not feeling this design #he looks like a background character in that Metal clan #Zaofu?#or one of Kuvira's goons #but I'm willing to overlook it as long as they don't make him a basic stereotypical Earth-bending Muscle-head #if you watched the show you would know what I'm talking about #Avatar #LOK #ATLA

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giantkillerjack · 1 year

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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egophiliac · 3 months

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was gonna wait 'til I'd done all the poms, but it's been a day, so have Vil with a Salazzle 🍎

#art #twisted wonderland #poketwst #what are they plotting? you don't want to know.#sigh. once again the whole 'i don't wanna do more than two each' thing is coming back to bite me.#salazzle was the immediate obvious one and then there were like two or three others i was really torn between #(milotic is the other obvious-seeming choice but there were others i felt fit more in different ways and...yeah)#then i remembered i don't actually have to draw more than one pokemon so here we are #with the ✨QUEENS✨#(me drawing salazzle's weird little feethands: heheheheh)

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why-is-it-always-autumn · 1 year

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Love a self-inflicted time loop. The main character isn’t trapped. They can stop whenever they want. But how can they when things aren’t perfect yet? They can do better than this. They need to try again. They can get it right this time. They just need to try again. They can stop anytime they want. Just one more time. They can fix this. They just need to try again. There are still things to fix. They just need to try again.

#time travel #its about the tunnel vision #its about losing sight of what a win condition even looks like #its about writing off the entire timeline at the slightest inconvenience #its about increasing alienation #its about failing to notice that youre destroying yourself and in some cases making things worse #its about the atrophy of your own problem solving skills #its about treating your friends like unskippable cutscenes #its about gradually forgetting everything outside the loop #its about the fact that you arent even really trapped #its about making the same choice over and over again #its about falling hard into the sunk cost fallacy

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mellific · 10 months

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FASCINATE, a new minicomic that i will have at SF ZINE FEST this sunday (9/3)! come to table 38 and pick it up along with uhh slkfjsd books that will hopefully have arrived at my house before friday! i guess!!

#USPS PLEASE SAVE ME..... i ordered these in july T_T #also while i was reflecting on comic naming crimes i realized i've lost all grounds to judge austin walker's hallows/hollows choices #comics #sdfdslk CW BODY HORROR MAYBE??? i feel like i'm really. tame. but just in case

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timothylawrence · 9 months

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"Wyll is boring" he is the personification of daddy issues. he hides away at a beach TWICE and leaving the tav to go find him because he's not used to having people around who care abt him. he's been running around the sword coast for seven years just killing things and saving people because he got EXILED and chose to prove himself to his father and just help others. he spends his time training kids how to defend themselves. you find out his dad is the ARCHDUKE of Baldur's Gate. he almost drowned once trying to find mermaids. he has a literal devil haunting him that watches his every move. He managed to stop an entire cult of Tiamat AT AGE 17!!!!!!! he loves clowns.

Wyll isn't boring, ppl just haven't taken the time to explore his story and it SHOWS

#ewbie.txt #bg3 #wyll ravengard #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #I’m not gonna state the obvious as to why individuals may not be giving him attention but. it is disheartening.#he has such a wonderful arc that really comes to life as you advance on the story #especially in act three. hes literally brooding the entirety of act 3 mourning his life and his father and everything around him #this is all CANON non determent stuff btw!!! this isnt choice based!!!#wyll enjoyers RISE!!!#(the answer is r@cism btw. like. hes not boring. ppl r just racist)

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tofixtheshadows · 3 months

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So I've been thinking lately about how Mithrun is Kabru's dark mirror (more on that another time- it needs its own post), and I thought it interesting that one of their parallels is that they were both cared for by Milsiril, but in opposite directions. She took Kabru in as her foster after he was orphaned and tried to convince him not to become an adventurer. On the flip side, she helped rehabilitate Mithrun specifically so that he could rejoin the Canaries.

And I kept wondering: why?

For Kabru, obviously she loves him a whole lot- despite any other shortcomings in their relationship, I do believe that.

So I get why she tries to convince him not to go dungeoning, and, failing that, at least prepares him as thoroughly as she can.

But why help Mithrun? She used to hate Mithrun, but after realizing what a secretly twisted person he was, she actually thought of him more positively (oh, Milsiril). So it wasn't as if she held the kind of grudge that might motivate her to make his already-depleted life even more miserable by sending him back to the dungeons. And it wasn't that she felt bad for him either, since she didn't visit Mithrun for the first ~20 years of his recovery.

The Adventurer's Bible says that Utaya was the impetus for Mithrun returning to the Canaries, but Milsiril is the one who made the trip to see him and tell him about it.

Why would Milsiril work so hard to get her old coworker back into fighting fit? Why encourage him to return to such a dangerous lifestyle, when she was the one who chose not to mercy-kill him?

That last panel is such a crazy thing to hint at and then never elaborate on. Without it we could have just thought that Milsiril wanted the Canaries' work to continue without her, even if it seemed out of character. I think some people even assume she's just a natural caretaker as a foster mom and handwave it to include nursing Mithrun too. What could Milsiril's suspicious motives be? What does she gain from Mithrun joining the Canaries that isn't an altruistic desire to see dungeons safely sealed? Feeling a sense of responsibility for the work she left behind isn't an ulterior motive.

My theory is: Milsiril, knowing that Mithrun was empty save for the burning desire to face the demon again, wound him up like a clockwork doll and pointed him back at the dungeons.

Hoping that he'd eliminate the biggest threat to Kabru's life, before it was too late for him.

Milsiril the puppetmaster.

#Mithrun #Milsiril #Kabru #btw I'm working with the only translations I could find sorry #so keep that in mind #like it just seemed WEIRD to me #that gloomy introverted Milsiril #who left the life of a Canary behind #decided to do this Canary-adjacent work of helping this guy #maybe the queen made her do it because so many people died and they needed more Canaries idk!#but why would anyone pick Milsiril as a life coach? I really think it was her own choice #it's so interesting how we get these hints of a downright sinster Milsiril #I really like the complicated relationship she and Kabru have #struggling to fully humanize him from her elven perspective #but still taking him seriously wrt: his fears over being a monster or his desire to go to a party!#crazy stuff there #everything about Kabru and adjacent to Kabru is insane what a character

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zellk · 9 months

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Githyanki doodling on post-it notes that I cleaned up a lil bit Lae'zel from memory on the first (im only happy with the profile tbh), and Anma and Mitas on the second (It was SO easy to fit them in BG3 lore it's insane... I even have a whole storyline roughly figured out for them and it came together in like 30 minutes on my walk home from work.) I don't have any energy to draw nowadays except on post-its, but it's better than nothing.

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hedgehog-moss · 5 months

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In the fir woods

#crawling along #if some pictures look quite similar but with pan facing a different direction it's because we got lost!#we ended up back in the same spot near this rivulet 3 times the woods really wanted us to stay #pandolf was delighted. like yay i thought we were going home but you decided to bring us back here again!! good choice! <3 #he is very supportive (if not very useful)

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yuurionviktor · 8 months

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Gonna finish Gideon one soon, but for now you can have this Harrow

#the locked tomb #harrowhark nonagesimus #harrow the ninth #harrow the 9th #gideon the ninth #things ive made #idk man the 1page1day not going great and it’s only been 1 week #one week where I only worked 3 days mind you #(local holidays)#maybe I really wasn’t made for creating art jdhsjdjcbcj I see so many cool people online #where they’ve been better than me 10 years ago so where does that math leave me hm #for a person who’s really into bones herself (preceding my love for harrow ironically) I REALLY don’t know them #I mean you can always say that’s A Stylistic Choice but I’m also so lazy #like… just trace them girl

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knickynoo · 2 years

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I am once again pondering the fact that Marty McFly is just such a fantastic character. Like, especially when you look at other male protagonists in the 80s, they all follow a similar trend. A lot are uber cool and suave, with the added side effect of also being a jerk. Many are popular jocks or whatever. Big flirts. Edgy and troubled or sleazy, etc.

And Marty is sort of in his own category entirely. He's cool, but he's not? He skateboards and kills it on guitar but has 2 whole friends--his girlfriend and a disgraced scientist--and crippling self-doubt and can't go a day without falling down or tripping over his own feet or nearly being killed by a car.

He's polite. He's respectful. Won't let anyone mess with the people he loves and doesn't let a moment pass by where he can thank somebody or apologize for a wrongdoing. (seriously, Marty has beautiful manners. Like, it is quite noticeable how often he says, "please," "thank you," "excuse me," or "sorry".)

His emotions are all SO BIG and he doesn't hold back on them. He gets all animated when he's excited and yells when he's scared and cries when he's sad and pulls his friend into big ol' hugs.

He literally never knows what is going on. Marty exists in the constant state of confusion. Between asking Doc to "wait a minute" every other sentence and his ever-changing, scattered thoughts, Marty is just out there trying to survive. Just slow it down, alright? He's a smart guy, but he's also got elevator music playing in his head. Really really fast elevator music.

Time means nothing to him. His watch is broken. He's racking up tardies like it's nobody's business. Stopping by the garage to look for Doc and play some guitar when he should be at school. He's got to get out of that stupid suit RIGHT THIS INSTANT even though he's got one shot at the lightning strike at the clock tower.

Marty just. Does things. There is zero impulse control. A synapse fires and Marty's brain goes "!!!" and that's that. Punch the bully who's twice your size, buy that sports almanac, just Walk Away while Doc is talking to you. Buy that sweet leather jacket. Ignore ALL instructions you're given! Marty, you need constant supervision and I love you for that.

He's just. Marty is the most character. Look at him.

They really knocked it out of the park with this guy.

#back to the future #bttf #marty mcfly #really tho i can't stand most 80s protagonists #because so many of them are SO annoying and jerky #and the BTTF people were like: ''What if we just had. The sweetest boy.''#and it was such a good choice

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linktoo-doodles · 1 year

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I'm sorry scar

#grian #goodtimeswithscar #gtws #desertduo #limited life #life series #my art #Linktoo art #YAYYYY my first little full drawing with my new huion kamvas 13 display tablet <3 #anyway desertduo really came for my throat huh #''I'm sorry scar'' & he genuinely means it both times #but 3rd life he doesn't want to lose him & limited life he's ready to survive by all means necessary. He always feels like he has no choice

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egophiliac · 5 months

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Please elaborate on your twst Pokémon headcannons I’m very interested

I had planned on drawing everyone for this (I made a LIST!) but it. hasn't been going well. 💀 soooo here's what I have so far!

Riddle - Roserade (I was going with 'no legendaries', otherwise I would've given him a Shaymin) (and I don't think Togedemaru is actually a hedgehog or I would've given him one of those too) (...they kind of do fit though. hmm.)

Trey - Alcremie (clover/mint cream + strawberry/ruby cream)

Cater - DITTO SQUAD! DITTO SQUAD! DITTO SQUAD!

Ace - Impidimp (I feel like there's probably a better one for him, but I can't think of it)

Deuce - Scraggy (meanwhile I KNOW deep in my heart that this is true)

Leona - Pyroar (but like. a nasty Pyroar. just a grizzly old Pyroar with the shittiest attitude imaginable. they pretend to hate each other but secretly they are a bonded pair, do not separate)

#art #twisted wonderland #pokemon #poketwst #i'm trying not to pressure myself too much art-wise right now #but i would like to do more of the characters!#(especially considering this started with my insistence that malleus would have a dragapult)#gotta draw something i don't immediately hate first ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ #ANYWAY enough art angst!#i'm not aiming for full teams or delving too deep into lore or anything #just one or two per character that i think fit!#i was pretty torn on leona for a while because pyroar is at once the obvious choice but also. not really?#(i did consider luxray and ultimately decided it doesn't really fit either)#but i kind of love Nasty Lionboy's Nasty Pyroar #i think there's probably some. like. ~royal tradition~ that they all bond with this one specific breeding line or whatever #and leona deliberately chose just the absolute worst one #took one look at this shitty rude pokemon and immediately went 'that one'#falena was like 'are...are you SURE' and leona cops an attitude like 'i'm choosing my OWN pokemon you're not my DAD'#as pyroar is actively attempting to eat him #actually it probably tried to eat kifaji first and that's when leona decided he liked it #me: this is just for funsies i'm not doing lore (writes a whole fanfic in the tags)

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