#like i get that she's here to do a job but i resent being accused of stealing and then almost having to deal with fucking security
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i was reading a meta about Rhaenyra's relationship with Harwin Strong and about Criston Cole and HAAAAAAA
In history, who is blamed for the dance, at least in the popular imagination, is Criston Cole the Kingmaker, who didn't like Rhaenyra and convinced brother against sister to fight and consequently ending the Targaryen dynasty
I'm pissed and I don't even like crispin cole that much 😭😭😭
The way that history blames him is so unfair like
oh god don't get me on my little criston soapbox ahaha but long story short i fully agree with you. criston is very bitter and has major anger issues, but it frustrates me how much people take his relationship with rhaenyra at face value rather than acknowleding how problematic it really was. i think it should spark some conversations about the double standards we hold men versus women to when it comes to experiencing sexual assault, because if criston and rhaenyra's genders were reversed i think fans' takes would be very different.
i've made a post here about why criston's ability to consent to rhaenyra was compromised. criston is canonically dornish (= poc, subjected to racism by other characters in the show including harwin), lowborn, and poor, while rhaenyra is valyrian (= white), as highborn as it gets, and super fucking powerful and wealthy. and she coerces him into sex in a situation where she literally holds the power to have him killed (if she accuses him of coming onto her) while he has no power at all. and he only takes this risk reluctantly, and under the false assumption that the sex means something. rhaenyra doesn't do this intentionally, but being oblivious to your power doesn't make it okay when you use it to pressure others into sex under false pretenses. like she just did not consider the implications of the power difference and of how much more criston risked than she did. of fucking course he's bitter, and of fucking course he hates her.
and i've made a post here about how and why criston ended up with the greens. alicent gave him a very real purpose and sense of healing after what happened with rhaenyra. she was one of the only characters to treat him like he wasn't lowborn, dornish, and poor. she entrusted him with herself, and with her children, and literally brought him back from the brink of suicide. of course he loves her, and of course he'll do anything to protect her and her children. he raised those children when viserys would not (think of how many times he rightfully gives viserys the stink eye in the show, there's very much stepdad-esque resentment there). and the political threat to them is very much real (maybe i should make a separate post about this, but there's one here that i think does a good job). honestly, the fact that he was defending them against rhaenyra was probably only a small bonus. obviously he hurts other people, including innocent people, in the name of protecting his loved ones- but like so does literally every other character involved in the dance lmao.
long story short: criston's actions were very much based out of a love and desire to defend the family he'd built, not so much around his hatred of rhaenyra, though that was probably the cherry on top of the cake. i'm not surprised history remembers him so poorly though, given how bigoted westeros is towards dornish, lowborn men like him. because how dare someone actually fight for their position rather than being born into it, am i right?
#ask#asks#answered#hotd#house of the dragon#criston cole#ser criston cole#criston#ser criston#rhaenyra targaryen#rhaenyra#alicent hightower#alicent#hotd meta#meta
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Was going through my posts and I saw that one post you did about like, Joe, (corrupted) Cub, and e!false being a Spontaneous Villain Trio. Do you have any further thoughts on it? I want to spin this idea around in my head but I'm not quite sure what you had ideas for (if any beyond just that idea)
so in my head what happens is... so it starts out relatively close to canon in that joe leaves hermitopia, only we're taking this slightly more seriously. so he packs up and leaves and regrets it once he realizes he Really Has Nowhere To Go but he's banned by the time he considers going back, a thing that he has some amount of resentment for. (oh boy, i'm sure that won't come back to bite anyone later!) he hands out his resume to a bunch of people and false accepts the resume, and pays him with a place to live.
unlike in canon we're assuming, however, that everyone is in empires much longer and the timeframes here are much longer, and that way everyone has more time to like. bond. and spiral.
anyway so unlike in canon e!false decides she likes what joe has done for her and hires him somewhat more full-time. his job is to try and note down what happens when she doesn't remember and any information about the other false who is spying on her. once joe and e!false work out that h!false is a different person entirely and e!false realizes she's one of the hermits, joe is told to spy on the hermits in general - although he's still banned so he has some trouble doing this.
due to combination "e!false is kind of a wet cat and joe feels bad", "e!false can trust joe more than some people because she's both paying him and he has literally nowhere else to go so betraying her would end very badly for him", and "neither of them really have other people at the moment" the two of them end up bonding very closely. which means that once joe starts to work out the Murders e!false is doing he just kind of... rationalizes them. also once people start to realize the joke of the banning thing has maybe gone too far (like scar or probably cleo idk depends on what i'm feeling when i write this) joe is Not Enthusiastic At All and decides that no, screw those guys, he's actually a citizen of cogsmede. they didn't ban him in cogsmede. he even got to decorate his own apartment.
(and like, joe. the murders. probably even including joe's own periodic murder. but remember our timeframes are longer here.)
anyway so joe is spying on the hermits and now ACTUALLY the traitor he was accused of being and e!false is doing e!false things, right, but how does cub come into this? well he comes into it by getting possessed, obviously, but also by the fact that he runs into joe, attempting to clean up all the sculk catalysts, and has also been kicked out for reason of "he keeps on trying to possess everyone and that's a problem". he and joe and also e!false as a result of "joe hangs around e!false a LOT in this au" all start running into each other more often and joe notices cub like... isn't doing great.
he also notices the start of the build-up of hermitopia's more... terrifying elements... and e!false's nervousness, and the fact that even the other emperors are strangely disconnected from e!false, like she doesn't have any allies. and cub doesn't have any allies either. and since joe is pretty good friends with cub and honestly got over the whole trash can thing basically immediately the reason he holds so much of a grudge is "kicked out in a strange world for being discontent", and joe does miss the other hermits, and also because e!false could USE someone who is as clearly scary to other people as cub is, they strike up a deal with each other. cub can hang around as long as he doesn't start sculking up specifically the places in cogsmede that joe has cleared out and is willing to defend them, and joe and false will defend him back.
which means cub starts working on joe and false who ALREADY AREN'T DOING GREAT to get them on-board with his sculk nonsense and it mostly doesn't work but they DO get pretty apathetic towards it happening to literally any of them that are not specifically them, right, which to most other people, given that they're also directly harboring cub, is basically the same as doing it themselves.
and THAT'S ABOUT AS FAR AS THAT AU HAS GOTTEN IN MY HEAD i got stuck on "i need to have a better idea of what the false things the falses are doing are" in order to properly flesh out the false side of this au but like. that's the concept in my head.
...this got really long.
i hope you like it!
#answered#empires smp#hermitcraft#maintagging so more people. look at my au#anyway i WANT TO WRITE THIS FIC i just need to finish working out like. a PLOT#as opposed to just 'slightly pathetic found family with nasty codependency issues and increasing moral bankruptsy' vibes
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Could we please get some Joanna x Willow romantic cuddle-smut, pretty please?
(Went a bit more sfw for this one)
Willow hesitated for a moment as she watched Joanna take off her coat, a blush starting to cross her lips as she poured another glass of wine for the two of them. Her eyes kept glancing at the muscles the huntress had, enjoying the company much more than she did Jacques. “You’re sure you’re okay with this? I cant exactly pay you without my husband questioning where the money is going, but I can make sure a hefty donation is sent to you and your huntress group-”
“That wont be necessary, Mrs. Schnee,” Joanna said as she sat down next to Willow. “This is still a mission that I accepted, even if it is a bit… unorthodox. Though, Robyn did suggest we branch out with what we do.”
“Still, I’m glad you accepted. Seems to be the only way I can help Mantle anymore.”
“Why do you care so much about Mantle? Dont you Atleaseans hate us?”
Willow paused for a moment at the accusation, slowly picking up the wine glass and swirling the wine around. She had always cared about Mantle, its where her family was from, where her father Nicholas grew up. And while she was born into Mantle and raised in Atlas, she never forgot those roots, always looking for ways to help the people of Mantle whenever Atlas abandoned them. Though, after marrying Jacques, it became harder to give Mantle any sort of support. First it was the questions about where the money was going to, who she was spending time with or buying out, then came the rants about how the citizens were ungrateful about the jobs that were opened as more dust mines were reclaimed, the way he talked about the faunus as tools more than people, the threats he gave about shutting down every dust shop the SDC supplied until the workers would submit to him. All the while getting pushed away in the marriage she never wanted, raising her kids to resent her as she fell to drinking to numb the pain of having to watch everything her father had built be destroyed by greed.
“Is everything okay?” Joanna asked.
Willow took a sip of her wine, savoring the taste as she sat the glass back down. “Everything is fine, just having a few second thoughts.”
“About this?”
“About my choices that were out of my control.” Willow took a breath and put up a fake smile as she adjusted how she sat on the couch, leaning in towards Joanna. “But I’ll be fine with you. Assuming a strapping, young huntress such as yourself can handle someone like me.”
Joanna rolled her eyes a bit. “I can handle you.”
“And what about your alcohol?” Willow sat up a bit and grabbed a second glass of wine to hand to Joanna, her blush growing as she really looked over Joanna. She had always prided herself on being able to act like a proper woman should whenever she needed to, but being with a huntress like Joanna, being with a woman who didnt want to use her for her money or status, was here of her own volition when the request was put on the Mantle mission board instead of being forced or paid to show like an escort.
She bit down on her lip as she offered the glass to Joanna, swirling the wine around to get the aroma in the air. “You can relax, enjoy yourself. Get comfortable. This “mission” of yours today isnt one that you have force yourself to do anything for my enjoyment, today is a day for you to spend time with an old woman who wants a bit of company.”
Joanna took the glass of wine, setting it down next to her. “And what kind of company are you looking for, exactly? Usually when an Atleasean pays for a huntsman for company-”
“I dont want anything like that. What I want is for someone to be comfortable, to want to be here.” Willow drained the rest of the wine from her glass and got up to grab a bottle of whiskey, gently pouring it like she did the wine. “To spend time with a… washed up huntress who’s married to a man who wants nothing more than money.”
“You should probably sit down before you hurt yourself.”
Willow took a sip of her whiskey, sitting down next to Joanna and leaning in close to her. She enjoyed the feel of the huntress against her, feeling safer than she had in years, feeling more comfortable than she ever knew she could. A smile crossed her lips as she started to get comfortable against Joanna, draining the last of the whiskey from her glass. “All I want is someone to cuddle with.”
Joanna sighed and put an arm around Willow, gently running her fingers along her side. “And you’re sure this is all you want?”
Willow nodded, content against the huntress as she cuddled against her. “Just cuddling. Safety.” She relaxed a bit and closed her eyes to doze off, listening to Joanna’s heart beat. “Like things used to be.”
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Chemically Imbalanced Chapter 40
Trigger warnings: violence, unplanned pregnancy, immigration problems, abuse, spousal abuse,
Jose couldn't believe that his son was sitting in front of him. Years had passed since he last saw him and he'd all but lost hope for a reunion. But here they were. Roman, his son, had become an adult in the time that passed. The reunion was bittersweet to Jose as it reminded him of just how much of his son's life he missed. Remus and Roman chatted as though no time had passed which only made the guilt he felt sting more.
Virgil shifted in his seat and moved a cup of tea towards Jose, "You look like you might need it just as much as me." He offered, trying to lighten the mood when he'd noticed that Jose held his tension in the same places as Roman.
The older gentleman sighed and rolled his shoulders attempting to release some of the tension, "I--thanks." He replied, taking the hot ceramic cup and letting the heat ground him. The next time he looked up he saw Roman looking at him, "Roman." He offered quietly, "I don't even know where to start or how to explain." He said quietly, looking back down at his tea not daring to look at Roman for fear of seeing resentment or hate.
"Just like in the Sound of Music, the beginning is a very good place to start. " Roman offered with a smile, watching his dad and taking him in. Even though it had been years there was something so familiar about him, that familiarity brought safety.
Jose let out a wet chuckle, "Alright then. The beginning it is."
There was no denying that it had been love at first sight. Jose had been studying abroad for a semester when he met Natalie. The whirlwind romance was one for the ages. They quickly went from strangers to never seeing one without the other.
Their friends had said something about how they were too dependent on each other however both of them brushed it off. Those comments only made the two of them seek each other out even more.
When the semester came to an end Jose tried to convince Natalie to come back home with him but was met with resistance.
"I don't want to move. What if it upsets the baby?" Natalie worried, resting her hand over her nonexistent bump.
Jose nearly fainted right there as he took in his beautiful Natalie, she stood near the window with the setting sun behind her casting a bright halo around her making her look angelic, "You're pregnant?" He asked, leaning heavily against the bench for support.
Natalie turned towards her boyfriend with a bright smile and nodded, "I am."
With those two words, Jose's fate was sealed. He would do anything to be there for his child. Natalie had never looked as beautiful as she did at that moment. He quickly moved towards her and spun her in circles, quietly whispering near her ear in his native language about how happy he was and how he couldn't wait to be a father.
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Jose did his best to provide for them but unfortunately, immigration policies that had been put in place did not work in his favor. Eventually, Natalie stated that the visa process and the money were a waste of time when they could just get married. With their marriage came the ability to earn more money with better-paying jobs due to his visa.
But the marriage had been more out of necessity or obligation than love. For years Jose had tried to get a visa through the legal channels and had poured so much money into the process. He had his second thoughts about the marriage especially when they were really struggling and he'd picked up any overtime that was offered. The reason for the overtime was two-fold. One was because they needed the money as Natalie insisted on being a stay-at-home mom. Two he dreaded going home every night. If he didn't work overtime Natalie yelled that he was good for nothing and tried to starve their son to death. On the other hand, if he worked overtime Natalie became suspicious and accused him of cheating on her. Of course, neither of these were true but after hearing them so often it felt like maybe she was right.
With a better-paying job and more manageable hours, Jose finally felt like he was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. All that changed after Remus was born.
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There was something different about Natalie after Remus. She looked at the child like she feared he might spontaneously combust or perhaps she was wishing he would. She had never looked at Roman that way. Jose thought maybe he was just seeing things since her behavior towards Roman hadn't changed.
After a long shift, Jose came home and found Natalie barricading herself in the kitchen with a knife pointed at Remus. She was shrieking and crying as she watched her son. It was impossible to understand what she was saying and honestly, Jose wasn't sure he wanted to know.
His eyes went to Remus who was sitting up and looking at his mom, reaching his hands out for her but by the look in Natalie's eyes she didn't even recognize the child as her. The first thing he noticed about Remus was the blood around him that was coming from his hand.
Jose picked up Remus and took him and Roman to the bathroom so he could patch up his son. He would likely never know how Remus got injured as that day Remus stopped talking to anyone but Roman.
This was the first time Jose considered that maybe Natalie needed help. He did his best to keep Remus away from her and ensure that he had everything he needed. Jose also tried to urge Natalie to seek professional help but if anything that only made things worse. Even when he suggested Roman and Remus go to therapy he was met with resistance by Natalie.
When Jose had brought up seeking help Natalie had screamed and cried for hours about how she was trying her best and maybe if he did more this wouldn't be happening
Without Natalie's knowledge, he did manage to take both of his sons to therapy. Jose couldn't care less what Natalie's reaction would be if she ever found out. This was in the best interest of his children.
At this point, Jose was half convinced that this was normal behavior. There were times after the fact that Jose went over all of the days leading up to the end that he tried to pinpoint if he'd missed a sign but everything seemed normal.
One day he came home from work with Remus on his hip to find the house trashed. There was a letter amongst the wreck from Natalie that said she was taking Roman and leaving. That Jose was no longer the man she married and she couldn't take it anymore. Upon reading that letter Jose knew he should've felt sad or ashamed but he couldn't help but feel relief. That Remus was safe, he was safe. The only thing he was worried about was Roman. How he'd ever find his son or ensure that he was okay. There was no telling what Natalie would be capable of. Thankfully, she hadn't shown any aggression towards Roman but Jose knew that it wasn't safe for Natalie to have him.
After Natalie left Jose never stopped looking for Roman. However, there were very few people who wanted to assist an immigrant in finding his child. He'd told his story many times and found that most people just stared at him and came to the conclusion that his wife was abused and running for a reason. During his search child protective services had been called on him multiple times as anyone who listened to his story assumed that Remus was also in danger. Thankfully these assumptions were unfounded and he was able to take care of Remus on his own.
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Years had passed and Jose had stopped telling people his story. This didn't mean he'd stopped looking for Roman but he mostly used the internet or prayed that somehow they would make it back to each other.
The day has been like any other day when he received a text from an unknown number claiming to be Roman. Jose was hesitant to believe it at first as it seemed so impossible but upon further investigation he realized it was actually Roman.
It took everything in him to be patient to schedule a meet up. This was his son they were talking about. A son he never thought he would be allowed to see again. With the reconnection came the hard part of trying to explain to his grown son what had happened. But it felt like all he had were excuses. That he hadn't tried hard enough or been a good enough father.
______________
Once he'd said his part Jose hazard a glance at Roman and saw that his son had tears streaming down his face, "I'm so sorry." He pleaded, needing his son to understand.
Roman shook his head, "Dad no." He whispered, wiping at his face and feeling Virgil's hand on his thigh rubbing small circles, "you did so much for both of us." He added, "She--she always told me you left."
"I promise you I didn't. I have spent all of my free time looking for you." Jose assured, setting his hand on the table near Roman and instantly relaxing when he grasped his hand.
The teen choked on a sob, "I believe you." He whispered, squeezing his hand.
Those three words broke all of Jose's resolve. Roman believed him. His son didn't blame him. He didn't hate him. Jose swallowed hard, "Roman. Can I have another hug?" He asked gently, trying to let his son set the pace.
Roman immediately got up and wrapped his arms around his father, not even allowing him to get out of his seat, "please stay."
Jose whimpered and leaned into Roman any attempt at trying to pull himself together shattered by his son's request to have him stay.
#sanders sides#thomas sanders#prinxiety#virgil sanders#roman sanders#fight tw#abuse tw#flashback tw#unplanned pregnancy tw#chemically imbalanced
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AB hate must be a cottage industry. It seriously comes across like certain authors are devoting their whole lives to destroying her 'myth'.
Saying she wasn't politically savvy is trying to make out she doesn't deserve respect for making it in a man's world, never achieved anything, has no legacy and was a total failure in life. If she doesn't get jobs and money for her supporters, she's ungrateful, cold and can't read the room. Like she's so selfish human emotions just confuse her.
Same people tell you AB was an all powerful chessmaster cruelly luring Henry away from his "real friends" and straight up forcing him to kill More and Fisher.
Like the anon said, other queens are entitled to loyalty, but Anne has to "earn" it like she's beneath her own courtiers and there's got to be something in it for them. Like she has to bribe everyone bc she's worthless, and when she can't do it it's funny. And everyone who demands stuff from her just deserves it and is "owed" no matter what.
As many are personally invested in their fandom and/or 'apologism' of AB, just as many are personally invested in their outrage about any upcoming publications, productions, etc. that center around her life, for...sure.
And as far as patronage networks, there's double standards there, just as there are for pretty much everything else. Anne's predecessor ceased payment to scholars she patronized as soon as any of them told her she should accept annulment and retirement. Her party gave bribes and used other tactics of 'encouragement' and/or intimidation to secure favorable verdicts as far as that went, just as the Henrician/English 'party' did.
I number AB among the most influential and important Henrician councilors. Wolsey and Cromwell also had patronage networks, and failed to secure support at times from individuals regardless of their influence and power (one example for AB is the attempt to offer Elizabeth Barton a place in her own household). And even if they had never failed to secure any individual to their allegiance, the political alliances they had built and fostered, in the end, did not prevent their arrests. Nobody risked their careers to insist their benefactor was not guilty of treason and that some great injustice was being committed there, either. The Boleyn 'failure', if one insists on naming it such, had the added anchors of any who might otherwise have used their networks for the defense of their patron, also arrested and left to defend themselves (particularly the heavyweights, Norris, Rochford, and Brereton) after accused of crimes in the same 'conspiracy'. This was not the case for Wolsey and Cromwell, and yet they are not termed political failures.
Here's the rub, for all of the above: there were definitely people that they all 'alienated', and there was, actually, a rather obvious way to avoid all that. Had they abandoned their pursuit of power and faded into obscurity, none of the above would have secured the enmity of so many. This was not the choice they made. So, the weird animus and anti-fandom of sorts that exists, of course, only for the only woman of the bunch above... it's not really even so much about, oh, she was so politically unwise, and lacked intelligence, and had she not made all these missteps in her pursuit and then position, of power, she could have been secure. That's fallacious on its face, because one does not come to that position of power and influence by lack of political wisdom and intelligence (again, this is rarely, if ever, claimed for Wolsey and Cromwell). Really, it's about the resentment that she ever did come as far as she did, and it's all very obvious in these attempts to vindicate their own aggressively dismissive ...for back of better term, 'hot takes'.
#i read a blog article from 2018 that would have been so perfect for this ask and now of course i cannot find it#oh well. if i ever do...i'll link#anon#there's also the case of the duke of buckingham in 1521#who quite literally brutalized his servants but he's not like such a pop culture...iconoclast#it's decidedly less popular to name him among those that alienated others and had that eventually lead to his demise#and alienated the nobility and his tenants as well#he also wasn't a woman so there's that.#:)
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I'm so happy to see someone say that Elliot is NOT stupid. I never understood the whole belief that Elliot wouldn't choose Olivia. It's like you said, no matter what way he went, someone was going to get hurt. Even when he was separated, it couldn't happen without issues. They were constantly at each other's throats. And you don't think that if they started dated, people (like his kids) wouldn't assume that they were together when he was still with Kathy? That Olivia was the cause of the separation?
As you said, part of the reason Liv loves him is because of his devotion to his family and marriage. There is no way that she would've let him ruin all that.
Of course if you tried to point this out to people, they will get all annoyed.
You had me until the last sentence!! I don't wanna stir up "us vs them" thinking or encourage the idea that "everybody" feels one way or another; I have seen the "Elliot's so stupid" thing a lot, but the post I made saying he wasn't had a lot of likes and positive responses, so there's obviously a range of feelings on the topic, and I don't want to be preemptively thinking about how "people" might respond to something you know? I'm trying to work on being less reactionary. I'm not good at it but I'm trying. So I just wanna say that up front, I'm not trying to start fights.
But I do think the rest of what you've said here has merit! In 1.0, Elliot can't just fall into bed with Olivia; even when he's divorced, it presents more problems for them both, it's not a magic bullet that's suddenly gonna make everything perfect. His kids were younger, and we can't discount the impact this would've had on them. The impact it would've had on Olivia; we love as a fandom to write Kathy and Liv being sort of amicable once Liv is fucking Elliot and Kathy is not - I've written it myself several times - but would they be? Would Kathy, even after she's let Elliot go, not resent Olivia on some level? I think she might eventually be able to be polite with them at family Christmas, they might eventually be ok, but would s8 Olivia be able to endure the discomfort and the accusations and the guilt it would take to get to that eventually? Would Elliot?
Not to mention losing each other at work, and the whispers; we love to write their immediate coworkers being supportive of them, and I think they would be, but we see people giving Liv shit for dating Tucker; would she, as a woman on the job, be vulnerable when other people found out she was fucking her partner? It's one thing when it's just whispered rumors, it's different when it's real. And the leap of faith required to lose him at work and try to hold on to him at home - a switch that, given the amount of hours they work, would probably result in them spending less time together than they do as partners - is that something she could even do? Is that a risk she'd be willing to take?
It's complicated, I guess is what it boils down to; there isn't actually an easy, obvious answer, and whether we admit it or not the tension, the denial, the feelings they can't act on, that is compelling to watch.
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Female soichiro and male sachiko?
K:- Ok, so as a couple Soichiro and Sachiko are very traditional in their roles of Japanese society. Sochiro is the cop, with Ideals of Justice he passed onto Light, and Sachiko is their mother and homemaker.
How much of their personality is based on gender roles within Japanese society that they adhere to? Would Sachiko as a male have grown up more reckless, like Soichiro?
Would his sense of justice burn as brightly?
Maybe he became a cop for similar reasons to Matsuda in this AU. Would he have been the type of cop to join Ls investigation?
E:-I can think about, surprised that Machiko took up law enforcement.
There's always that disdain for house husbands.
K:-Well, I assumed she got into law enforcement the same way as Matsuda. Nepotism/ family on the force. Lol
E:-Lol ahaha! Nepotism changing lives once again.
K:-A Death Note story with no cop parents of Light, would change the vibe of the story a lot.
As far as I can remember, Sachiko's character traits seem to be supportive and caring. She's proud of Light for his academic success, supportive of Soichiro's convictions, and encouraging to Syau during her recovery. She has her trials, but we don't see her first hand reaction to them, only how she decides to handle them. If this holds true, she's cool headed and practical, and empathetic in a crisis, the blue oni to Soichiro's red. Sachiko is probably a different kind of cop then Soichiro.
This could bring a different vibe to denying L's accusations towards Light being Kira.
Would likely also make changes to Light, with a different kind of justice to look up to.
E:- a very different vibe indeed.
K:- Sochiro probably keeps his defensive attitude about his family and strong sense of justice across the gender swap. Sochiro is now mama bear, I guess. Which probably means if Syau still gets kidnapped, Mello might just focus on the wrong parent and get knocked out of the game earlier, lol. Anyway, Light could still grow up Learning from her mother's sense of Justice, and idealizing her Father, a police officer.
E:- OH totally
K:-Sad that this breaks up Sochiro and Matsudas friendship, though. If we want there to be more extreme change, we can have both of the parents be cops, which puts Light in an even more parental position to Sayu, since she is mostly raising her here. It might change her views on their jobs too, but she still might use the death note in resentment and maybe even hope that her parents being less bust might mean more time spent home. It's still a story about Ideals.
E:- That be an interesting read if they're both cops.
Both parents working makes the Yagami family non traditional, since they get good money and don't need to both be working, but do. Not going to get into the Japanese economic crisis here, and how that might have impacted their jobs and public opinion on Scorchio being more publicly committed to justice then raising her daughters, but there would be quite a bit of tension there, in the job and society.
E:-Sayu turning to Light as a maternal figure in her life. Girls get the burnt of raising their siblings regardless they are the oldest or middle child.
K:- I was close enough in age to be rival sibling to mine, so I wasn't.
Light raising Sayu as a guy would be an interesting story too. As with Light as her main Influence instead of someone she goes to for homework and help, what would that look like? Would her views be different?
E:-Your gained a rival 👏👏👏🤣
K:- I did
E:-Lol not me I was the mom essentially. Mom trusted me enough to even take care of luggage and a human being at the airport.
I say her views would be different.
As in my own case, parents where law buuut when you're the one that is around more to watch them they turn an ear to listen to you.
So essentially to Sayu , Light's words have a heavier weight than her parents would.
K:- I think this Sayu might be more academically inclined.
E:- Yes! True!!
K:-And honestly that could be really fascinating. Especially since it would change with Light's gender .
Would Sayu possibly gain an inferiority complex or downplay herself in other areas compared to her sibling who is perfect (so why try for unattainable?)
Or would Lights God complex take some hits in the interest of raising Sayu right?
E:-Good question. But I am drawing blanks here.
K:-Like I can see Light being protective. But with her looking up to Light so much, Sayu has a lot of potential to fly or be burned. I guess it would have to depend on author and where they are going with it. But Light doesn't tend to let most people in, coming off as charming and charismatic.
Still in this scenario, Sayu grows up under Light and is soo shaped by that.
And relationships with Light are a dangerous thing.
E:-Light is like a stone fruit. Pleasing and sweet on the outside a hard stone in the center. Take too big of a bite and you'll hurt yourself.
K:-My favorite Sayu shaped by Light take is probably Silver Pard's Redivivus.
-"Light knew how to deal with nightmares. Light kept all the dark things away, and he could be scarier than any funny shadows anyway. He sighed quietly as he sat down again and pulled her gently into his lap. "Want a story?"
She nodded again, and silently offered to share the blanket. He looked tired and worn, and she didn't think he could deal with her talking right now – he always said she was too noisy and happy after he'd been shouting at his computer. He snorted slightly and let her arrange it around them both with a weary kind of patience.
It was times like these that Sayu forgot Light was only three years older than her. There was this funny thing about the shadows in Light's room, especially at night, which made him look weird. Old-eyed sort of weird, and kind of scary.
But he was her brother, so he was scary for her, so that was okay."-
Also this, when their parents come back from date night
"I think Sayu might have traumatized him by playing dolls with him," she offered quietly when Soichiro stopped next to her and gave her a puzzled glance. Probably at Light's behest, she added in her mind.-"
E:-ONG
K:-A third option could have Sachiko stay home understanding of his wife's ambitions and sense of justice, but there's still a tension in that. Still non traditional. Light looks up to her mother, and wants to be like her, here. The Yagamis are probably quite not quite as well off here. Hmm, I know people with families are likelier to get promotions in Japan as they have families to feed, but is that equally applied across genders? Would the Job be subtly trying to get Sachiko to come back through wages? I don't know enough to say? Eclipse? Know more about this one?
E:-I think it would be but if we're with the options that both are working its possible Sachiko would be offered the promotions at foremost than Sochiro would be. Sochiro is likely to still promote but at a noticeable slow rate than that of Sachiko.
The thing is what again is brought in by nepotism and that of the Japanese workforce of WHO your upper classmen is in these situations. Workforce Japan is another thing to navigate especially that of the Japanese workforce.
Or officers. I can see a major subtle or not so subtle barbs at fem Sochiro in these situations.
K:-Yah that would track
E:-Even if Sachiko is driven by justice, he in this situation would be seen more or less as a bad father for not being able to provide more their kids. However, in Sachiko part they would more freedom in cases and choosing their protégé so to speak.
Sochiro on the other hand will get smack from fellow officers and detectives, while adding in public opinion from neighbors.
Community can help but can also be merciless to those who don't fit the mold.
#a conversation with my friend#random k#always a diffrent gender#male sachiko.#female soichiro#death note#female light#light yamagi#sachiko yagami#soichiro yagami
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I’m an 8 trying to handle a 6 (or 3) in the workplace. She’s unhealthy so it’s difficult to know her type. Talking to her is impossible. She reads criticism into everything, no matter the tone or words I choose, and small comments get blown to epic proportions. She needs praise constantly and cuts into others’ achievements by claiming she was a runner up and asking for recognition. I was recently promoted above her and she’s been intolerable since. I do my own thing, I don’t compare my success with the success of others, but it’s aggravating as all hell when she pits herself against me constantly. I do better numbers and am highly respected by the owner of the business (he called me tenacious in a meeting and went on to praise her ‘emotional’ side, which she hasn’t let go in over a year - and even though he meant it in a positive way I get why it’s offensive, particularly to a woman), but it’s her own self sabotaging shit that’s created the whole situation. How do I exit this fucking competition - or, at the very least, make her see her how stupid it is?
She sounds like a neurotic, insecure, unhealthy 6 who is misusing 3 (being highly competitive and self-sabotaging) rather than feeling secure in her job. A lot of this would minimize itself if she felt like she was seen as valuable by other members of the team. Since it's not likely she will listen to any Enneagram talk, have you tried a tactic of praise, attention, and thanking her for a job well done? I'm wondering if you could swing her over from resenting and competing with you into seeing you as "on my team" and/or a trusted authority. As an 8, you're a solid, unshakable presence in the office and she likely feels intimidated by how nothing phases you. Maybe lay off any criticism for a time and only give her praise, and see if that helps at all.
A 6 has to know the stories they are making up about other people are all in their mind (not real) in order to combat them and get over them. But they have to exit panic mode enough to stop seeing bad guys everywhere they look. Since you are over her, it's wise not to compete with her. And since she has a problem with you, it might be best to minimize interaction with her and/or use a method that makes it harder for her to be self-promoting and insecure. (Can you send memos instead of talking to her, for example?)
I wonder if a few well placed remarks might not make her think about how she is causing trouble for herself. Sometimes people just need to have that pointed out to them -- in a calm and detached manner, not in an accusing way, but in a considerate way of "I want you to be a success here, but what you are doing is hurting you professionally."
I'm sorry. Unhealthy types make life hell for everyone around them.
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Never Let Me Go Episode 8
Well would you look at these two just diving into being all cute and domestic instantly. Flirting montage! Man, I often say that I want to do things in montage, but I never mean the fun stuff. I mean things like getting back into exercising regularly and moving.
Hey, is Palm giving Nueng alcohol? I thought he was allergic? Oh screw it let’s just say it's a virgin.
They're still talking around any real feelings, I notice. I don't actually think that they're in deep enough to consider each other life partners or anything like that, but Palm's still doing his careful questioning thing and Nueng is still doing his dancing around giving straight answers. I like it, and I'm gonna pretend that it's down to the time limit they both know they have. This is only while they're on the island and living away from their responsibilities, after all (not that Palm ever really gets to be free of his, considering his responsibility is Nueng).
Man, Palm and Nueng really were going to ditch Palm's mom huh. I find this hilarious for some reason. I still think that she's gonna be the one who leads them to the island. We're establishing that she needs money badly and all the parents in this show suck.
Speaking of sucky parents…Chanon's interrogation is going exactly as we all knew it would. His new BFFs are happily selling him down the river. And ha, Palms mom called the abduction accusations. Is everyone here bad at their jobs? Because honestly, why are the police just taking their word for it? Did I miss something where they had actual evidence or are they just like "yeah, these guys totally seem like straight shooters. They'd never lie to us!"
Chopper is like sixty percent of the reason that I watch this show. I kind of love him for his little sleuth and ambush plan to expose the dude Phum paid to out Ben and Nueng. Cackling at Ben being all reluctant about it. Stop being such a baby, Benny. I don't know why I find Chopper's exasperated reaction to Ben's "I've never used force to hurt anyone" so funny. Poor Chopper, everyone thinks that he's a thug. I don't, though. He just doesn't give me that vibe.
And oooh, was that a flare of awareness I saw from Ben when Chopper got all close and put his hand over his mouth? Because it sure looked like it. Still unsure if he's entirely aware of Chopper's raging crush (personally I think he is either completely aware of it and just pretending it's not true or he only senses it without really knowing for sure - or letting himself know. The one thing I'm sure of is that he's not totally oblivious, even if he isn't consciously aware of it), but this was the first time I've seen anything even sort of similar from Ben.
Pfft at Chopper just nudging this guy's face to look at his video.
Ben: I don't want to use force to hurt anyone.
Also Ben: *tries to clock this guy*
Thank goodness for Chopper honestly.
This dude is pathetic but he and Phum both deserve whatever comes down on their heads, honestly. It's almost like actions have consequences!
Okay, possibly controversial opinion: I'm not actually unsympathetic to Palm's mom. I feel for Palm because no child should have to doubt their parents' love for them, but also there is no guarantee that her staying would have been better. Chances are good that she would have taken her resentment and frustration with being unable to live her life as she wanted out on him. Either way Palm would have been stuck with a mom who loved herself more than him and a dad that was far more devoted to someone else's family than his own.
Yeah, clearly Palm's gonna have to choose between love and duty at some point, and that boy's wired to put duty before all else. I just don't see a happy ending here, folks. Bittersweet, probably, but happy? Forecast is not great.
Aw, it's actually pretty sweet how concerned both of them are about Palm's mom's situation.
Maggie! I missed her face. I don't even care that she's a total flirt and pisses Nueng off. Actually that's a lie. I love that she's a total flirt and pisses Nueng off. She's not being awful about it, and I like that she's one of the people in Palm's life who seems to actually care that he's happy. And has no problem telling him home truths. Honestly Palm needs to hear that what he wants matters more often, so I'm primed to like anyone who does.
Girl is nowhere near as unobservant as it seemed, she just clocked the feelings and got on with things. My god I love her.
Oh shoot. Well the whole gambling depts thing just got a bit more complicated.
Hahaha Nueng was totally stalking them around the island, wasn't he? Yes he was. Honestly could he sound like any more of a brat when he tells Maggie that it's good for Palm to protect someone else for a change? My dude.
Oh wow so it was definitely awareness in the bathroom. Okay, then. Chopper really doesn't have much of a poker face, does he? It's clear he doesn't want his dad's men to find Nueng, and no, I don't actually think that it has anything to do with Ben. I think he's worried for his cousin if Kit finds him. He probably should be.
"Do you still like me?"
Ballsy, Ben. Also, man, you better be curious because it's finally occurred to you that you might have feelings too, because otherwise this is just mean. Chopper isn't here for your personal gratification, Mr. Class President.
Also the answer is clearly yes. Just look at his face.
Wow Ben moves fast. What are you doing, Ben? Are you gonna decide to ditch Chopper the second Nueng comes back? I was warming up to you but now you're messing with my favorite.
Oh now this is interesting. I assumed Palm's mom would screw them over but Nueng having to withdraw money to help her is good too. Guess the island time is all but over now. And this gambler dude is going to be a problem. People like that don't actually go away when you finally pay them off, they just aim for a new way to squeeze you. And now he knows Nueng is rich.
Damn, Nueng has more balls than sense.
I say again, Palm, let Nueng do things himself! Although I do get a kick out of Palm doing the "if I'm your island boyfriend you should let me do things for you" thing. It's blatantly manipulative and both of them know it and are okay with it, lol. You'll never ever convince me that Nueng doesn't want to be Palm's spoiled brat.
Okay, Nueng's jealousy is cute here. And HA, more prodding disguised as teasing.
Oh wow okay so we're doing the love confession thing already. Well that's disappointing. I mean, it's sweet. But I wanted more angst. Boo, I say (oh, not really. It's sweet and I KNOW we'll get some angst soon enough, I'm just feeling a little grumpy because my favorite bit of the bodyguard trope has been done away with in ep 8. They could have stretched that at least until ep 10).
That said, get it, guys! Enjoy this while you have it, which will be all of ten minutes thanks to that earlier fund withdrawal.
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🏘️ guess who i just saw at SWEET TOOTH BAKERY? IMANI JONES! don’t they look good for 42 years old? they have lived here for ALL THEIR LIFE and ARE a NURSE. they view the increase in tourism as NEGATIVE 🏘️
tw: car accident, injury, scar, depression, abortion mention, pregnancy, loss of pregnancy
STATISTICS
First Name: Imani
Middle Name: Simone
Last Name: Jones
Age: 42
Birth Date: 1/3/1980 | January 3rd, 1980
Zodiac Sign: capricorn
Gender: cis female
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual Orientation: bisexual
Romantic Orientation: biromantic
Marital Status: married
Ethnicity: African American
Nationality: American
Religious Identity: agnostic
Positive Trait: hardworking, adventurous, enthusiastic
Negative Trait: resentful, opinionated, stubborn
BIO / SUMMARY
Imani knew from a young age that she wanted to be child-free, but one can argue that reason was due to her being forced to watch her younger siblings. Both of her parents worked long hours, one is a doctor and the other is a lawyer. They both had the money to hire a babysitter, but according to them that would be a waste of money. Why hire someone when they can have their oldest daughter do it. They try to frame it as a great bonding experience for her. However, to Imani, she hated it. She loves her siblings and she loves spending time with them. But she didn’t want to be responsible for them. She wanted her own life, to do her own things. This cause a drift between her and her parents and resentment towards her siblings.
Her relationship with everyone was rocky, but as she got older and moved out it approved. Her relationship with her siblings was better. With her parents, well it was okay. She realized her resentment should go to them, and not her siblings. She learned to move passed it but she does have her moments of being bitter that her parents never acknowledge their wrong doing or apologized.
Imani went to school to be a nurse, it was not what her parents wanted. Maybe that's why she went into it at first, but she learned that she actually like what she was studying. Being a nurse was enough for her. She didn’t want to become a doctor and live under her mother’s shadow, nor did she want to become and lawyer and live under her father’s shadow. Though being a nurse won’t exactly allow her to escape any type of comments about her mother. Nor, how people will comment on her becoming a nurse instead of following in her mother’s shoes. But she was able to block that out. It’s easier blocking out comments about what career choice she should’ve made than comments about her abilities/skill being weaker than her mothers.
The comments lessened once she got married to her best friend, the name changed allowed her to escape the same old comments from new, or other, co-workers who have not yet learned who her mother was. Soon, the comments completely stopped when applied and became a traveling nurse. Her husband decided to quite and pursue writing and she wanted to support his new career path. So she applied to a new positioned that allowed her to get more money and to travel around. It almost felt like her life was perfect. She got to go to new places for extended period of time and make more money. Her husband came along, which allowed him to find muse in the new place they end going to due to her job. They got to explore new areas and make new friends. And when she went to the next destination, they do it all over again. Explore their new surrounding, makes friends, and her husband find more muse.
After her husband ended up published several novels and created a big following from his traveling blog, things started to slow down. It was not their plan, but they decided to slow things down when she learned she was pregnant. It threw them for a loop. Especially since her husband had a vasectomy. While he didn’t accuse her of cheating, and she was thankful for that, she knew the thought must have come up. But she was quick to say she will get a paternity test because she knew for a fact that this was his baby. After the test came back, they both took time to think about if this was something they wanted or if they wanted to go through with aborting the pregnancy. Yes, Imani always believed she was child-free. But the idea of having a baby with her husband was not as terrifying. She knew who he is and he would be if they were to have kids. She knew he would help her and that she wouldn’t be doing this all alone. So they decided that they were going to keep the baby.
With that in mind, Imani knew that they will have to go back home - meaning her time as a traveling nurse was over. It was time for them to go home and get ready for this new chapter in their life. She never thought she would be excited for this, and honestly - she was worried. With the age she was, there was a possibility of of complications with the pregnancy. While she loved the experienced they built together, there was a part of that wish they realized they wanted this at a younger age. However, she wanted to stay optimistic. Everything in her life was going so well, of course this had to work out. But, unfortunately for her, it did not work out. On the drive home from work one night she got into a horrible accident - one that her husband wasn’t even sure she was going to make. Fortunately for her, she did. But she lost many things in the process. She got a burn scar on her back, her left leg was amputated, and lost her pregnancy.
Imani always felt like she was a strong person who could get through anything, but this. This was something she never imagined happening. Even over a year of all of this happening, she still struggles to grasp her new reality. Who she is now is completely different from who she was before. She felt like a part of her died that day. She’s a shell of a person that has so much anger built up inside. She has resentment toward the driver that has done this to her. The only thing that she is doing is slowly pushing her husband away. As much as she wants to let him in, she’s afraid that he can’t accept the person she was forced to become. She just has negative thoughts in her head. She’s convinced that he’s only staying to seem like a good husband - but in reality he really wants to leave. She knows its a horrible thought to have. She’s been having a lot of irrational thoughts, ones that make her feel guilty for having. But the main one is, if she can’t accept her own body now, how can he? She wants to get better, she wants to be like the people she sees online that are confident with themselves after having scars or injuries from an accident. But she just finds herself stuck in her own depression, relying on her anger as some form of comfort as she pushes her husband away.
EXTRA
Subplot: the day i (didn’t) lose you - MUSE AJ
#fortyintro#♥ 》 about. ( imani )#tw: car accident#tw: injury#tw: scar#tw: depression#tw: abortion meniton#tw: pregnancy#tw: loss of pregancy
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“I’m impressed.”
Jenn exhaled slowly, willing herself to release the transformation; the power coursing through her body, feeling invincible, just being green, was kind of–okay, really addictive. Giving that up even momentarily got a little harder each time.
Not enough to be a problem, but Jenn certainly didn’t have the kind of tenuous relationship with her new powers that Bruce did with his rage persona.
“You can almost change on command already,” he said, pushing his glasses up his nose. Knowing how long it’d taken him to figure out keeping his head as the jolly green giant, it was kind of a wonder his tone didn’t betray any kind of resentment or envy. “Anger doesn’t have any more of a hold on you as a hulk than it does as Jenn.”
His eyes went glassy for the briefest moment, no doubt making some kind of note in that oversized head of his.
“What’s your secret?” He asked, only half-joking.
Jenn considered the sheer amount of bullshit she was subjected to on a daily basis–echoes of catcalls, silver-haired boomers telling her how to do her job, general harassment–she shook her head. Comparing trauma was for chumps anyway.
“I’ve had some practice.” She said in favor of unloading it all then and there.
Besides, this was Bruce; the only family she had left in the world. Jenn might’ve gone off on her abusive asshole uncle, but never her cousin.
“And here I was gonna suggest yoga.”
Jenn blinked.
“You can do yoga?” She asked. She made a point of giving him a once over–specifically, the biceps the width of her shoulders and quads like actual fucking tree trunks–and raised an eyebrow. “Like that?”
Bruce smirked and shrugged.
“A thing or two.”
She grinned; she had to see this.
“Prove it.”
—————
“Bruce?!”
Jenn called back over her shoulder, halfway to getting out of the jeep. Only when her cousin’s massive hand shifted the boulder he’d crashed into and waved with a muffled “Dick move!” did she sigh and floor the gas again, peeling out down the road before Bruce could pull himself together.
A good five or ten minutes later, she felt pretty secure she’d pulled off a successful getaway. She just needed to find an airport and she could get back to the city; with how long she’d been gone, she’d have to find another firm willing to take her on, but that wasn’t anything she hadn’t–
THOOM!
An eruption from somewhere a ways back rattled the rearview mirror; to say nothing of her teeth.
“What the hell?!”
Not moments later, there was suddenly a lot more shade than sun over the car–the moving at speed car.
Jenn threw a look over her shoulder.
“Holy sh–!”
BOOOOM!
The impact of Bruce’s landing, only yards away, actually propelled the jeep into the air for a second; the tires bounced on the road again and Jenn slammed on the brakes to come to a lurching halt.
Huffing to catch her breath, she glared up at her cousin on his approach.
“You weren’t fighting me seriously when we sparred, were you?”
Why that accusation was the first thing out of her mouth, Jenn couldn’t say, but she was flustered and agitated, so she figured she could get away with it. Besides, given what he’d just pulled off, it was a valid question.
Maybe she edged him out on technique–not hard since the Hulk only knew how to smash or smash harder–but sheer strength?
Bruce held up one hand, eyes smiling even if his mouth wasn’t.
“I plead the fifth.” He said, the cheeky little shit.
“You really don’t wanna play courtroom with a lawyer, Bruce.” She hissed.
“Definitely not.” He agreed.
Jenn got out of the car and slammed the door shut; it wasn’t that important to her, which Hulk was stronger. She liked her new powers because they made her feel powerful and confident enough to handle any and all of the sort of bullshit she’d previously had to endure on the daily. No one sane would try to mansplain anything to an eight foot Amazon in a green tint.
And, yes, she did feel pretty sexy with thighs that could crush redwood.
Besides, Bruce would never hurt her; hence why she wasn’t really offended that he hadn’t used his full strength in their spar.
She was still peeved about other things, of course.
“Jenn, you’re doing the best you can,” Bruce said. “And you can do even better–”
“Not this psychology behavioral bullshit again!” She all but screamed.
“Hey,” Bruce said mildly. “That bullshit did me a lot of good.”
“And I’m happy for you, Doc,” she growled. “Really, I am. But it’s not one size fits all.”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “I’m starting to realize that.”
Jenn huffed and leaned back on the jeep, arms folded. Bruce considered her a minute and then propped his butt against the hood.
The vehicle groaned under his weight.
“Look,” he said. “I’m sorry all this happened and you got involved with my...” he gestured vaguely to encompass his body. “This. You’re handling all of it a lot better than I ever have.”
Jenn bristled at the self-deprecation in his tone; she was tempted to slug his arm, but honestly, she’d probably end up breaking several fingers. So she took a shot instead.
“I don’t mind,” she said. “Honestly, if getting shot is all it takes to actually get to see you once in a while, being green is just a bonus.”
Bruce winced and some of Jenn’s aggravation cooled. Being a fugitive for more than a decade and constantly fleeing from an ex’s insane Dad weren’t really conducive conditions for recreationally visiting family. To say nothing of being shot off into space and turned into a gladiator for however many years. She bumped her shoulder to his... forearm to soften the sting from her barb.
“You’ve got an awesome career,” he said after a moment. “And for all my concerns, I know this isn’t gonna stop you. So I guess I shouldn’t either.”
Jenn smiled.
“That’s the smartest thing you’ve said since I got here, Doc.”
Bruce chuckled, leaning further against the jeep, which made a rather concerning sound of strain.
They sat in silence for a minute before she asked.
“How far can you go when you’re jumping like that?”
“At a time?” Bruce clarified. “Haven’t thought to measure it before. The median is a little over a mile, I’d guess, not that I’ve tried for distance.”
Jenn’s lips thinned out.
“Can I do that too?”
“Don’t see why not.” Bruce said, smirking conspiratorially.
Not two minutes later, two emerald figures were rocketing across the island in a loosely defined kind of race, leaving craters in their wake.
“WHOOOOOOOOOOO!”
#She-Hulk#Hulk#Bruce Banner#Jennifer Walters#Disney#Marvel#minor scene corrections#the fuck are the writers doing#Fixing character assassination#focus on an important family relationship#you can promote feminist themes without ruining characters#or just generally sucking#Jenn is Bruce's most stalwart supporter#Barring maybe Rick Jones#Why the fuck would she yell at him#Read some source material#Thrown into the void#notatag#rambling in the tags#Brucenorris007
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I finally finished Awakening lol! here’s my overlong thoughts. a lot of which are comparing Fates & Awakening, which is kind of unavoidable because lot of Fates criticism hinges on comparing it unfavorably to Awakening and also because they’re two games in the same FE generation which reference each other stylistically and in story/cast
a major criticism I’ve heard is that Fates took everything that Awakening did well and tried to expand on it but ended up making it worse. having finally played them both, I don’t think that’s true at all and I think the issues of Fates are mostly unique
gameplay wise, granted I’m a filthy casual, but I thought Fates’ gameplay was overall more varied and fun, gimmicks notwithstanding. I’m just a silly boy who likes to run all over a map and dig up a bunch of stuff and flip a bunch of switches to make stuff happen. awakening had a couple standouts but mostly felt samey to me, and also I had to grind way more to make my cast usable.
Fates and Awakening both had big casts, but Awakening really had almost nothing to suggest existing interpersonal relationships or explain why any of these people were invested in the cause (beyond ”they’re a knight so it’s their job”, or ”there’s an existential threat to the realm so I guess they have to go to war”). I immediately responded to maribelle because the first thing she does is act overprotective towards lissa, which establishes a relationship and a motive. almost no one else had that and I had a hard time engaging with the cast overall, let alone trying to distinguish who I actually wanted to take with me, because I just didn’t care about most of them and most of them didn’t particularly seem to have reasons to care about each other.
I thought Fates improved on that massively tbh. its cast often gets accused of being one-note, but like, it offered the 4 royals + azura as a really nice grounding core cast with a preexisting relationship with the main character and a strong reason to care about them (not only are they family but corrin is a sheltered/neglected/abused child toward whom they all feel varying degrees of protectiveness and resentment); and then their 2 retainers each, plus jakob/felicia/kaze, almost all have very caring mutual relationships and histories with their charges, and also usually have endearing and/or funny relationships with each other as well. off the bat that’s a solid core of people who not only have histories and personal reasons to be invested in what happens, but also have a suggested story-importance hierarchy built in - I wanted to know more about leo because leo had complicated feelings toward corrin, and I wanted to know more about niles because niles had an interesting relationship with leo, etc. I found most of the cast of Awakening undifferentiated and boring, sorry about it. libra, maribelle, donnel, and lissa being the major exceptions, most of them just did not seem like they had a ton to say, and I was rarely pleasantly surprised
the most egregious thing Fates tried to do with its cast was ape the 2nd-gen character concepts with zero in-story rationale for them being present and mature. and that was extremely stupid and contrived. but also, in their defense, the child characters in Awakening were also almost entirely superfluous and optional except for lucina, and going around to collect them was mostly just kind of a chore. (I also felt like supports…. built slower? I don’t know if I just ran out of patience, but like, I didn’t get any of the kids to the highest tier of support with each other. they just didn’t seem to want to talk. maybe that’s just because I’m bad at this game.)
and in terms of plot: Awakening tried to do way less. and yet somehow I still found it…….. pretty frustrating. I spent 10 chapters fighting Valm and it didn’t matter at all. why was Walhart even there? someone on twitter posited that it was to be part of Chrom’s ”arc” of deciding what kind of leader he wanted to be, but…… where? I don’t remember him having any real internal conflict about that, it seemed like his mind was pretty made up? he struck me as a pretty static character, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, a lot of lord characters are, but if there was any doubt about what kind of leader he intended to be, I think that went out the window when Emmeryn ate it. the problems with Fates’ plot(s) were mostly that it tried to do too much, which resulted in a lot of really cool concepts (a traumatized kid with uncontrollable emotion-triggered dragon powers!) either not getting explored at all, or getting written in contrived or convoluted ways (to whose benefit was the vallite curse anyway, and why did that matter). however, I at least screamed laughing at Fates, which was not the intent, but at least I wasn’t like ”why did I just slog through 10 identical chapters of this plotline only to end up back in plegia fighting a 100% unrelated big bad”
the setup about robin being a vessel for grima was cool tho, and a better payoff than anything in Fates. as a whole I liked the END of Awakening better. although I do wish they hadn’t tried to pull the rug about robin killing chrom. that felt like an insult. robin was in control enough to ”hold back” when they impaled chrom so like ok you just impaled him through the chest…….. gently?? my brother in christ he should still be dead??? I’d have preferred a different deus ex machina where chrom gets revived by the power of love and friendship or whatever
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Unprompted » ALWAYS ACCEPTING
@detonizing asked: " Just because I interned with you ONE time doesn't mean you can use that as an excuse to call for me whenever the hell you want. My class isn't even doing internships right now. " And surely Bloodletter already knew this ( which was why she was bothering him on a Saturday ) but Katsuki complained anyways, because if Bloodletter was going to send him a million (two) texts under the guise for his 'internship training' then he's absolutely going to call her out on it. Even if he listened to the texts and went to her despite knowing there was really no need to. " So? What is it this time? Clothes shopping? Grocery shopping? You just want a damn servant, don't you. "
All complaints went through one ear and out the other, as they often did with him and anyone else that attempted to criticize her. When one lived in the spotlight as she did, there was certainly not shortage of people with opinions, warranted or otherwise— you either learned to ignore it and move on, or got crushed under the weight of people pleasing until you were nothing but a hollow shell. Granted, Katsuki wasn’t just some nameless citizen looking to gripe. If anything, he understood her devil-may-care attitude quite well, seeing as they shared the same indifference for others’ opinions of them ( even if that callousness was sometimes feigned ).
Regardless, she was still being nagged, and whether it was coming from him or not— or perhaps because it was coming from him— the pro hero had no intention of accepting feedback after this long. Save it for her agency’s suggestion box or social media DMs. ❝ You’re saying that, but you’re here, aren’t you? ❞ Nicolette cuts through the bullshit and gives him a knowing look, but there’s sincerity behind her teasing smirk, whether he chooses to see it or not.
❝ First of all, ❞ she begins after his cruel accusation, holding up a finger, ❝ I resent that! ❞ Conveniently, she does not outright deny any of it, but still! It’s the principle! ❝ Second, ❞ another finger, ❝ it’s not like I can just call it ❛ hanging out ❜ can I? People would think I was a total loser, and you’d deny it anyway which would just make me look more pathetic! ❞ Again, no specifying if she was or wasn’t, but it wasn’t really cool to be friends with a teenager, especially when they were basically your closest companion. Her fans would have a field day with that information, and her antis even moreso. He just didn’t get it!
He probably wouldn’t even call her his friend in private, let alone public!
His mocking suggestions inspire a scoff as she rolls her eyes, bristling in indignation, and no, she is absolutely not pouting. ❝ Actually, ❞ she stresses the word, ❝ I have a photoshoot today for my side job. And I definitely wanted you to be there. ❞ Bloodletter won’t admit that it’s because she’s modeling pieces made by his very own parents, figuring it’d be funny to see his reaction and simultaneously useful to get his opinions. ❝ I’ll treat you to lunch afterwards if you want— you can pick where. ❞
❝ Also I can’t believe you’d even think I’d take you grocery shopping— we both know you do all of that for me when you come over anyway, unless you thought I’d bring you to the convenience store to pick up some bento and ramen. No thanks! You’d just bite my damn dead off again if I even reached for one in your presence! ❞
#detonizing#THEY'RE BESTIES YOUR HONOR!!!#PRO HERO NICOLETTE AND HER EMOTIONAL SUPPORT BASTARD TEENAGE BOY#feral cat and the dumb bitch that gets scratched and bitten to hell while feeding him treats#and goes awww isn't he SOOO cute?? while bleeding as people look on in horror#[ nicolette voice ] i think he has rabies (affectionate) <3#↳ BONDS ; KATSUKI BAKUGOU || detonizing ❛ the struggle you are up against makes you what you are ❜#↳ ASKS ❛ since you’re lookin i’ll put on a fuckin show ❜#long post#↳ VERSE ; BNHA: HERO || ❛ we gladiate / but we’re really fighting ourselves ❜
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#personal
I didn't journal yesterday because it's been particular tense with my neighbors. For the record, the girl who confronted me as I was waiting for a package doesn't appear on our mailbox. She's a guest of the property. A running theme of problems I've had with people on this property intimidating me. I had been waiting for a package from target. I had an open police report for a package that was stolen behind the gate to our apartment where they live on our property. I have a picture of it from Fedex. There's a front gate and a gangway gate that leads to the back. I had been reloading the tracking on my phone. I was worried about things being stolen. A group of about six male adolescents strolled pass acting suspicious. One of them wore a blatant statement shirt that said "In my defense, I was left unsupervised." I looked it up and it referred to a reddit thread about guns. My FOID card was also stolen from that mailbox. I had to contact the state police to get it resent. I didn't take any pictures at that point. They walked to the end of the block then loitered for a minute, laughing and looking back in my direction. The neighbor's girlfriend came strolling around that corner behind them out of nowhere almost rehearsed and they started to rotate back, laughing to themselves. She paced herself to arrive just as they walked past a second time. By the time, they passed the front gate the girl stepped on the property behind the gate and started to berate me. Her boyfriend stepped out over the threshold but said nothing aping a forced look of disbelief. "Why are you taking pictures of these children? You can't take pictures of minors." It felt hurtful, accusatory and set up. I started to explain myself and she got more aggressive driving home the guilt of taking a photo of a minor which she didn't even see happen. See stood on our property bending over the locked gate where I sat behind. The children started to join in trying to start a fight. This is the tactic of the proud boys. Start street fights where they think they can get away with it. I guess this time by manipulating children. There's definitely records of educators recruiting children into gangs in my city. When the child started to get aggressive and threatening I left them all and went inside. I had submitted a tip about the neighbor in the gangway to the FBI over a year ago. I got on the computer and submitted another one about the incident. I found the open police report for the stolen item in my junk mail and resubmitted it. It had been denied because they stated the address wasn't valid. They approved it two minutes later after sending it. It's always at the mailbox. In this case, my mail in ballot was waiting for me at the time though I didn't want to leave the property to check the mailbox. I felt targeted and threatened. Ironically, over a year ago was the same exact thing.
That summer I went to check the mail and my COBRA renewal was in the mailbox last July. It was a year exactly since I had been let go from my job. That very same neighbor was having his bike fixed on the next property over by someone from my old job. It felt forced, serendipitous and planned. I've been entrapped before. Around the world. And for an entire year, no one from my old place of employment would talk to me or empathize with what happened. This felt cultish and manipulative. And over a year and a half later, yesterday felt worse. It felt like intimidation. And the intimidation has a pattern. Earlier in the summer, the couple that accused me of taking photos of minors watched me help two minors carry a piece of furniture from in front of our house down the street. They seem to be at the right place at the right time to observe and look authoritatively at whatever I do. But the key here is that minors are always involved. Like they coach them to interact and perform weird interventions that take advantage of my civic nature. I've been living here at the same address for almost eleven years. I am the only person who has. One of the neighbors I was having problems with moved out but eerily enough seems to still live on the property next door. As a man. They were transgender when they lived here. In fact, I still have suspicions they still stay in the apartment over here and receive mail here. Like they have two identities and switch back and forth between this property and the next. To make matters worse, I've delivered mail from the Chicago Police Department addressed to them. So it makes you wonder if all of this is just one long setup that goes nowhere. The landlord doesn't want to talk about it. The neighborhood follows me around and bullies me like a bunch of nazi gestapo. They're all tied together and they've stolen federal mai from me more than ten times. The police do nothing. The FBI does nothing. The problem keeps getting worse. And I get the feeling it's like people trying to intimidate me to move from a situation that is in my best interests. I'm the only name in this building that was filled out on the census that still lives here. My apartment is part of a strange zoning experiment. And I feel like it's given this entire neighborhood the right to conspire with the police to fuck with me with no rights or due process. They just act like a gang. Like terrorists who have studied and analyzed everything about me in a sort of fair game scientology sort of way to destroy my life. And nobody does anything except waits for me to give up.
And when all is said and done nothing changes. Things get more violent. Dead animals thrown in my path and in front of my window. The same property where I see multiple people walk back and forth between our building and theirs. It's fucked up. It feels like they are trying to build an argument that my security cameras are a nuisance or worse. And in some ways, it seems like they have nothing to back their shit up. Especially with a paper trail with the police and the federal authorities. I've had shit traps set up on the property. I've had people who live on the property follow me around the city as if they've been surveilling me. And I've had no legal counsel, help, or acknowledgment that I exist. It all feels like a secret punishment from a bunch of people who are above the law enough to manipulate children to fight me. And the city just sits here and waits for it to boil over. I don't know what to do. I don't think a lawyer will do any good. In the meanwhile, I'm completely invisible and dead in the water in the job market. I'm ridiculed and libeled behind my back. They act like I've been exiled by some secret FISA court they hold the warrants for. And yet, it's all engineered and fails. They never have the balls to be normal. To confront the truth. And have no problem ganging up on me like I'm a gang member to be pushed out of a community that is literally racketeering property to save their own pensions in the fire fighter and police organizations they brag about being a part of in front of me with obvious t-shirts and bullying tactics. These people are fucking criminals. And I can't really write 3000 words every week to explain without a lawyer anymore to take action. So I don't know what to do anymore. I don't have a real life. I don't go anywhere. My friends have alienated me for super star dj careers with Scientologist drug addicts. I have a crossdressing aggro male who lives on both properties with two different identities. I am being made to doubt my sanity while the federal government watches. And I've had my federal mail tampered with so many times, that I feel these people have so many lawyers behind them they can berate and attack me into submission. I don't know how else to explain it anymore. I need someone to make these people explain themselves. And I"m afraid it's the whole United States now. A country I no longer belong in. But I'm going to die trapped in just the same because nobody wants to admit I have human rights or the right to work and incur income. At least I still get to vote when eight people aren't ganging up on me who have used an entire year and a half to study me like a guinee pig. These fuckers are nothing but nazis just like Kanye. Let them answer for it in public since they're not very good at hiding it any more.. Maybe they'll finally incriminate themselves. Maybe this blog will help that happen faster. <3 Tim
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Halloween Ends Review
Halloween Ends was a divisive film, but otherwise, I did enjoy it.
To begin with, I liked how Laurie was depicted in the film, namely, Jamie Lee Curtis always does a phenomenal job as the Scream Queen. Here, we have her trying to move on from her tragedies so she is kind of like a blend of 2018 Laurie, but she is trying to do right by her granddaughter.
Rohan Campbell does a convincing performance as Corey Cunningham the social pariah of Haddonfield who was accused of a crime he did not commit. I would have liked that the character was introduced either in the 2018 film or Kills to better implement his start of darkness, but otherwise, I liked the character. It's hard to not feel bad for the character when he is continually harassed by the people of the town because Michael Myers had not been seen in four years.
Haddonfield itself felt like a living creature where it was festered with some unseen evil that poisons the locals causing them to act like their worse selves. But instead of acknowledging that they could be equally as monstrous as the Shape himself, they instead opt to ostracize others and make them their new Boogeyman just to feel better for themselves.
Green does an interesting concept of evil being a virus that can contaminate anyone it touches like some weird Lovecraftian scenario. The 2018 film is all about what evil does to a family with Michael Myers causing such trauma in Laurie that she could not have a normal life and forced her daughter into training at a young age which made her resent her. Kills is all about how evil corrupts a town and pushes them to their violent nature even when they misconstrue another patient of the mental institution as Michael.
And Ends is how evil never dies; it just takes different shapes. Ends conveys the dangers of self-fulfilling prophecies and how someone who was already on a dark path can become a monster if you pushed them far enough.
That being said, many of the themes, while interesting, were half-baked. It honestly feels more that the producers were just wanting to rush to end the Halloween trilogy instead of letting it simmer a little more. The soundtrack by John Carpenter was fantastic as usual.
Ends is also confusing for reasons I will not go into because it heavily spoilers how it ends. But while I could see where Green was going with the Michael Myers character, it contradicts a lot of what the previous films established like how he bounced back after being beaten to a pulp in Kills. Michael can perform outright acts that would be otherwise impossible for a 60+-year-old to be capable of performing thus leaning towards a supernatural edge. But I guess that could be explained away as Green wanting to keep Myers ambiguous until the end.
Some of the dialogue was also odd in places. And while the final battle is decent, the film should have been slightly longer so that it would seem like the two were getting more grievously wounded. After all, they deliberately used false advertising billing this as the grand finale/swan song between Laurie and Michael.
6/10
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Getting Triggered by Our Kids
My third grader struggles with her math homework. She has learning differences and an ADHD diagnosis and her cycle of struggle around arithmetic often leaves her flooded and dysregulated. She gets snippy and irritable. She often storms off. Sometimes she cries. Almost always there’s a shrieked accusation about how I’m “NOT BEING HELPFUL!!!!!” In short, she has big feelings. And boy do I get triggered by her big feelings. “Wait…you’re a therapist,” you might say, “isn’t it your job to be able to stay regulated in the face of others’ big feelings?” Good point, reader. That is my job. When I’m at my job. I mean, yes, ideally as the adult in the relationship I would be the one to hold a safe container around my kid’s dysregulation. But any parent knows that some feelings or behaviors in our children send us to the land of Not Our Best Selves despite how well we love them and in spite of all the things we know about how to be a “good” parent.
What I’m curious about is why I get so triggered in these situations. When the 4-year-old loses all her bones and thrashes around on the floor screaming because she’s been denied a second dessert, it’s easy for me to calmly acknowledge her anger and ask if she wants a cuddle. When the aforementioned 3rd grader very loudly informs me that I’m THE WORST MOTHER EVER because we will not get her a fitbit even though ALL the other kids have them (seriously though—what??) I hold my boundary without internalizing her accusation. So why is it that when she tears up over multiplication tables it’s all I can do to keep from rolling my eyes at her “dramatic manipulation,” and when she throws her workbook at the wall all I want to do is book a one-way ticket to Anywherebuthere?
This is what I believe: when I am triggered by my child, there’s a little kid deep inside me who is asking for attention. The buttons our children push almost always steer us toward a pain point, left over from long ago, that needs tending to and healing. I was good at math in school. I was good at school in general. I was teased for being nerdy during the day and felt lonely during homework time because, knowing I rarely needed help, my parents disengaged from me. When my child has big feelings about homework, my inner child resents that she has a mother who stays with her and helps her work through both the task at hand and her feelings about it. That lonely, insecure kid inside me grieves all the moments when my grown-ups didn’t show up and asks, “why does she get it (love, attentions, safety, etc) when I didn’t get it?”
If I don’t stop to acknowledge the needs of my inner child, my young wounds take over and I show up in a way that’s harmful to my kid. So, in these trigger moments I pause, breathe, and ask myself, “what did I need in a moment like this when I was her age?” Did I needed my mother to roll her eyes and call me dramatic or manipulative? Nope. Did I need her to withdraw from me, absorbed by her own ego and her own flooded nervous system? Definitely not. It’s my job in these moments to re-parent myself so that I can effectively parent her. The act of showing up for my child as the parent my own inner child needs is both helpful to my kid and healing for me. It’s a practice for sure, but the simple question “what would I have needed,” in the moments when I’m most triggered has changed the way I show up for my children and the way I show up for myself.
Get the help your child needs. We are here to support you.
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