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gilbirda · 21 hours

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Personal coach Red Hood

Another quick one before sleep. This is honestly becoming a fun wind down exercise to relax before bed! I highly recommend just letting the words come as they come and disconnect for a moment.

Shout out to @impyssadobsessions and @emeraldsandamethyst for hyping me up as I write this fic! Thank you for the support!

Part 1 || Part 3 - Part 5

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Jazz flexed her right hand and picked up the wooden spoon again. Her knuckles were definitely bruised and it was going to be annoying for a day or two.

She sighed.

Not even making her favorite soup was proving capable of cheering her up anymore. She kept going back to Hood screaming at her after the bank robbery earlier that afternoon, how he grabbed her and pushed her away.

His constant rejection stung, and she wasn’t stupid — smiling and having a positive attitude wasn’t going to magically change his mind. She tried to prove she was smart, resourceful and strong enough; and if it wasn’t enough for him then there was nothing she could do.

She could try her luck with the other bats, but she didn’t know if he had already warned them about her or something.

Jazz tried the soup and winced. It was… not fine. Tasted slightly burnt and needed more salt. She shouldn’t be cooking while in a bad mood since she was messing even the soup she could do with her eyes closed.

A soft tap on her balcony window made her jump and then chide herself for being so easily startled.

She turned, finding the same vigilante she had been thinking about. What did he want?

He said something, but his voice was muffled through the glass, and with the helmet’s voice modulation she couldn’t make the words. Jazz pointed at her ears and shook her head. The man sighed, given how his shoulders slumped, and took off his helmet.

Jazz’s eyes were glued to the white locks of hair he had at the front.

“I want to talk.” He said.

She considered him — the disarmed body language, the tense lips that weren’t a smile, his fingers tapping the helmet. She was sad and a little bit mad about the incident that day but…

She checked the soup one more time and sighed, turning off the stove and putting the pot away.

“What do you want?” Maybe she could have said that less like she wanted to bite his head off, but she was tired and mad and hungry. And he had been an asshole to her for the better part of a month.

Hood just stood there, quiet. She raised an eyebrow.

“Your food sucks.”

Jazz took in a deep breath and moved to close her balcony glass door, considering the conversation over.

“Wait,” he stopped her from totally closing the door, “I didn’t mean that.”

She glared at the whiteouts of his domino mask. “You don’t have to lie, I know I’m not a good cook.”

“Okay, then your food has… room to improve?”

This made her chuckle, but it was more because of the face he made. He looked completely out of place, trying to play nice like this.

“What do you want?” She asked again, reopening the glass door. This time, she also made a gesture to let him inside if he wanted. Surprisingly enough, he followed, his helmet under one arm. “Want something to drink? I may have some apple juice, but I’m not sure.”

“Beer?”

“Are you drinking on the job, Mr. Hood?” She smirked, enjoying the way he huffed at her words.

“Call me just Hood.” He shook his head. “And I’m fine just like this. I’m not staying long anyway.”

She shrugged. “What do you want?” She asked for the third time.

Jazz watched him shuffle his feet and run a gloved hand through his hair. He was nervous, avoiding her eyes. He reminded her so much of Danny, and how hard it was for him to open difficult conversations.

“After— After you left, I saw the snipers. Thank you.” He added with a small voice. It was genuine. “They could have really turned the situation to something worse, and… and I couldn’t… I didn’t…”

“It’s fine. You were busy.”

He was talking about the guys on the rooftops that she took care of, and the reason why she couldn’t follow him into the bank on time before the lockdown. She tried to explain, but he cut her off so rudely so he might have found them tied up and knocked out where she left them.

He shook his head again. “I didn’t let you explain.”

“No, you didn’t.” What was the point in sugar coating? “You were, and excuse my wording, a grade A asshole.”

He chuckled. “Yeah.” He sighed. “That I am.” He cleared his throat but didn’t speak for a few moments. Jazz waited patiently as he gathered his words. “I’m not a good mentor. I don’t even know what I could offer you. And I’m a ‘grade A asshole’, but… You are one tough motherfucker to keep coming back again and again... And you did me a solid today… I guess what I’m trying to say is—”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yes, I will be your student.” She smiled and extended her hand. “When do we start, teacher?”

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Do you like my stuff? You can support me here!

#dpxdc #jazz/jason #jazz x jason #anger management ship #hardcover ship #dp x dc #personal coach au

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greens-spilled-tea · 1 day

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My non-plural and non-CDD partner has recently started doing an interesting bit of introspective work on themselves which involves what they call "Department Reporting". They've started conceptualizing bits of themselves as belonging to specific departments: Cognition (related to thinking and logic), Somatics (related to the body), Emotions (related to feelings), Memory Recall (related to short and long-term memory), and Abstraction/Creativity/Synthesis (related to creative output and abstract thought). They will do a nightly check-in with each of these aspects of themselves, seeing if any of these particular departments are in any need of help or support and making plans on how to address any needs each department has for the next day.

And this has been absolutely amazing for them. They've struggled with various forms of dissociation for a while now which has made addressing their needs difficult. Talking to me more has helped them realize that though they do experience themselves as a unified whole singular identity, it may be helpful to break down specific aspects of themselves into categorized parts in order to gain a better understanding of themselves. And the results have been fantastic. They're so much more grounded, they're better able to communicate what they want and need from me, and they're able to just generally take better care of themselves.

I was genuinely worried that having them separate out these aspects of themselves into specific groups may be harmful for them. After all, I have DID and I know exactly how maladaptive separating these parts of myself out too much can hurt me. And so I started asking them questions. Are they feeling disconnected or dissociated from the other parts of themselves? Do they sense any amount of "becoming plural" throughout all this?

And... the answer has been, no, not at all. In fact, they feel even more integrated than before as they can now feel connected to more of themselves compared to before. Their memory has improved, their energy levels have improved, their emotional regulation has gotten so much better. And I think it's just absolutely wonderful and fascinating that conceptualizing themselves as having parts/departments has actually ended up with them feeling even more like a unified whole than before.

It's definitely really interesting comparing our experiences, and seeing how my final fusion journey both mirrors and also differs from how my singlet partner experiences their self and identity. I think, in the end, having DID and/or being plural is ultimately not so different from what being a singlet is like, and maybe it'll be beneficial to sometimes find those similarities to help us understand and relate to each other more.

#syscourse #plurality #pluralgang #did #dissociative identity disorder #cdd #osddid #did osdd #by gray #by reimei #syscussion

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bucksboobs · 2 days

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I was literally just thinking about your most recent comment on ~daddy kink-gate~, and how I’m curious what the demographics of the two opinions are. several of the vocal critics have been people who aren’t attracted to men, and like, yeah, of course that would give you the ick then, you don’t like men?? I’d also raise that for straights, daddy issues is often just shorthand for (a woman) who is hypersexual and possibly a little kinky but not necessarily invoking daddy kink. specifically for women who interact with straight men, it’s kind of used as another way of calling someone a slut? all that said, that doesn’t justify the reaction to the conversation when Buck is the one who initiated it and having Daddy Issues in all meanings of the phrase is literally a core character trait of his. and they’re both queer men, so as you’ve pointed out, it means something specific to them. people need to stop and think for five seconds and recognize that just because *you personally* might be uncomfortable if your partner responded in that way doesn’t mean that 1) Buck, a fictional character who is Not You!, was uncomfortable, and 2) that Tommy is a Bad Person for responding to Buck’s flirtation in that manner.

There is a lot going on Gender Wise because yeah “daddy issues” when applied to a woman is often code for “slut” and yeah from a heteronormative perspective saying “I hope you have daddy issues” is a fucked up thing for man to say to a woman.

You can see that in the way some male-attracted women reacted to the scene e.g.:

But from a non-heteronormative, queer male perspective that was a playful flirty joke that opened up potential talk about kinks. As you can see in my reaction:

And even in the captions of queer male gifmakers like @tylerposey here

I think the ultimate disconnect is that this is a genuine misunderstanding of what the interaction was like from a MLM perspective (and people willfully ignoring Buck being the one who brought up daddy issues and kept pushing on it when Tommy said he didn’t) and I don’t know how the exact demographics shake out but it seemed like most queer men picked up the intent of the scene (Buck and Tommy talk about their fathers, then the conversation gets a little flirty to show that they’re more comfortable with one another) and most of the most vocal disgust has come from people who, by and large, are not queer men.

Like the Big One that caused several unfollows and blocks all over the fandom was written by a lesbian and yeah, if you’re a lesbian, the idea of a man saying he hopes you have daddy issues WOULD activate your fight or flight response and to that I do have some sympathy but it keeps coming back to the simple fact that in context, a joke about daddy kink is about as tame as you can expect from two boyfriends flirting in the privacy of their apartment.

I shudder to think what the reaction will be if they ever make a joke about Actual Gay Sex.

#disk horse

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meganelixabethh · 1 day

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I know I won’t get it- but I want Sunrise on the Reaping to be about Effie Trinket- it would be such a good book!!! All we really know is that the book starts on the 50th reaping and that it’s a look at propaganda. We also know our girl Suzanne only writes when she has something to say- and what better time to make the Effie Trinket Point than now?

Don’t get me wrong- I love to read the fanfics of Effie being disenfranchised from the top of the first book and helping the rebels every step of the way- I live for it- but I also don’t think it’s reality for the canon. Effie Trinket is a character with grey morality at best in the first book. No she’s not organising the games, or planning them, she’s not the iron fist that forces the children to comply nor is she the driving force behind the tradition- hell if she didn’t do it someone else would, right? But she picks the names. She chooses to be close to it. She isn’t as horrified as she should be

SHE. IS. COMPLICIT.

But if you asked her- if you sat her down and said heart of hearts, do you care about these children? She would say yes. She has a complete mental disconnect between the harm she is causing and the compassion she feels for the people being harmed. This is a direct comparison to the modern approach to harm. Just look at Palestine.

I also don’t believe Effie saw anything wrong with the games until one very specific moment. She looked at the glass ball at the 75th reaping and saw a single piece of paper, and she thought ‘this isn’t chance. This isn’t a game. This is a choice and I don’t want to pick up that slip of paper’. I whole heartedly believe it took an emotional closeness to the person being harmed to make her realise all those people were just the same as her- EXACTLY LIKE WE DO IN THE WEST.

Further details under the cut. TW for death, implied SA and pregnancy loss.

So the book starts with the 50th reaping- Effie is between 6 and 16 depending on how old you think she is. I personally think she’s about 8-10. I also think this is the first games where she’s really gotten involved in and is interested in the whole thing from start to finish. She watches the reapings and is absolutely enraptured with Haymitch from the moment he gets on stage- full on little girl crush mode. She follows the whole game and is so happy when he wins. This is the summer she decides she wants to work in the games. She follows the games every summer, gets a glamorous games job in the Capitol when she graduates (I think she went to uni tbh our girl is smart) and then became an escort.

When she’s offered 12 she’s annoyed- after all she’s the darling of the games circuit and she’s put her time in- but 12 is the only job going and if she wants the promotion she needs to take it. She thinks fondly of Haymitch’s games though. She no longer has her little girl crush on him, but she assumes the drunkenness must be an act for the Capitol, some kind of play. When she gets to 12 she realises it’s not. She sees how broken he is. She sees that this destroyed him and she just… doesn’t get it. She develops a fondness for him, still completely believing in the games, and they work together happily enough as far as she’s concerned. She starts dragging him out of bed and shoving him into nice clothes to make the district look good at first, but then she does it because she thinks it might be the only time he has anyone making sure he looks after himself. She is genuinely sad when their tributes die every year. She cries in her room at night after they go, and Haymitch can hear her through the wall when he’s sober enough.

Then the 74th happen. She loves Katniss and Peeta- I fully believe that. She likes them from the beginning, she agrees they have a chance, and when she’s not trying for sponsors, her and Haymitch sit in silence in the penthouse, watching and watching and watching. She grips his hand tightly for hours at a time, eyes almost unblinking and fixed on the screen, knees drawn up to her chest. It’s the first time he sees her as human, and she almost breaks his knuckles during the finale with the mutts. The moment they win, she lets out a breath she didn’t realise she was holding and went to celebrate her first victors. She deliberately turned her face away from the horror because it was easier to not feel the breadth of it. She does exactly what we did to Ukraine. What we continue to do to Palestine.

To be completely clear- she still thinks the games are right through all of this. When she comes back for the victory tour she still thinks this is all fantastic. That mental disconnect is still there. But then eleven happens. If I’m remembering right she gets blood on her and is freaking out about her dress but I would like to see that from her side. I want to see that an innocent man was shot through the head so close to her, his blood and brains splattered across her dress and her skin. I want to see her freak out and everyone assume it’s about the dress but it’s actually about the fact she saw the light leave his eyes. This is the night she goes to Haymitch. She asks him for a drink and she asks him if he thought the man felt it. He isn’t kind to her. He asks her if she ever wondered if the kids felt it? If he felt it? This is the first time they sleep together. She doesn’t spend the night in his cabin. Their physical relationship continues but nothing else changes.

Then the quarter quell- she’s upset when Snow announces the rules. She feels hard done by but also scared for Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch. She understands that she’s avoiding the issue in her mind but she clings to the idea that the games are good so she doesn’t have to face up to the horror she helped meter out. It’s that glass reaping ball that does it. That glass ball with a single slip of paper in that breaks the back of her indoctrination. It all falls on top of her all at once. Her sobs after the bloodbath, alone in her room, the desperation she felt, not just for Katniss and Peeta to live, but for her to not have to watch them die, the man in eleven, the quarter quell, Hatmitch’s sharp words, the drink she craved after she saw it, the smile she plastered on, Haymitch’s hand gripped tightly in hers, the most genuine connection she’s felt in years and oh god are you supposed to be this fucking tired when you’re only 35? She looks at that paper and she is almost incandescent with rage. She loves Katniss and she doesn’t want to be the one who says her name. She doesn’t want to do this anymore. She doesn’t want this life. She doesn’t want the games to happen at all. She’s done.

But now she’s afraid. She’s seen avoxes, she knows what happens to rebels and she’s not quite brave enough to say anything to Haymitch other than veiled comments. She’s not sure he agrees with her and he’s not sure it wasn’t an accidental turn of phrase. The moment the arena blows out she’s dragged away in handcuffs. The prison is harrowing. What little hair she has is shaved off and she spends hours having questions thrown at her that she doesn’t have the answers to. She’s beaten, electrocuted and starved. Her bones are broken, they pull a few of her teeth out and some of the things they do are so awful she can’t even bring herself to think about it inside her own head. She doesn’t feel brave. She doesn’t have the answers to give them and she’s not sure she wouldn’t tell them if she did. She’s too Capitol for the rebels and too district for the Capitol. She’s not rescued, she’s released at the end of the war. Well, ‘released’ is a strong word. The guards unlock all the doors and tell them they have been pardoned and then walk out. She drags herself outside, clutching the walls and collapses in the courtyard as a humanitarian aid worker rushes over.

She spends the first tumultuous month sedated in a hospital bed, blissfully unaware of Coin’s assassination and the last games. When she comes to, Haymitch is sat at her bedside, looking haggard and tired. She looks better than she did on the floor of the courtyard, but not by much. When he sees her open her eyes he smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He apologises for not managing to get her out. She knows she should be cross with him, but she can’t find the energy to blame him. They’ve both wasted so much time already. She pushes herself up shakily and wraps her atrophied arms around his neck, telling him that it doesn’t matter, that he’s here now. When he lowers her back down, she asks immediately after Katniss and Peeta. He tells her what happened in as painless terms as he can find, and when he’s done, she can barely keep her eyes open, tears tracking silently down her hollowed cheeks. He gently kisses her on the forehead and says he’ll be back tomorrow. It takes her a long, long time to recover.

She finds out the rest of what happened while she was imprisoned and hospitalised in dribs and drabs. Some from him, some from news, some from conversations she overhears. It takes months and months before she tells him, in halting sentences, when happened in the prison. She doesn’t tell him everything. Some things are too awful to know. They’ve not resumed their physical relationship, but they feel inexplicably drawn to one another, and in a fit of impulsivity, he invites her to come to 12 when he leaves and she does. He doesn’t ask a lot of questions, but she does tell him, eventually, all the things that led to her renouncing the games just before the rebellion. He admits to her the doctor told him she was pregnant when they found her, but miscarried while she was asleep. She can’t get out of bed for days afterwards and he brings her food and water until she’s ready to get up again. She’s glad he knows in a way. She’s glad she never had to tell him.

The next summer rolls around, and Effie is finally well enough to walk up to the woods outside the district and spends all day picking wildflowers. She ties them into attractive arrangements just like her mother taught her, using brown string instead of satin ribbons. Haymitch is in the newly built square when she arrives with her flowers. She lays them all gently on the ground, one for each child she reaped, including Prim. Haymitch walks over to her as she bows her head, slipping her hand into his. She says she’s sorry, he says ‘I know sweetheart’ and the book ends there

I know we aren’t going to get this, it’s not even a possibility but a girl can dream.

#the hunger games #sunrise on the reaping #haymitch abernathy #effie trinket #haymitch x effie #hayffie #tw: death #tw: sa #tw: pregnancy #tw: pregnancy loss

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solargeist · 2 days

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Do the watcher is EvoAU genuely care abt Grian?

If I can't have baby Xelqua being adopted by Aether then I wanna know if in EvoAU they think about him as a pet or like a sweet cute naive kid that needs protection and teaching from the watchers

They do genuinely care about Grian, yes ! They do see him as a Watcher Child, but despite that, they make Grian feel like a pet sometimes, bc he is a 25 year old man being scolded or praised depending on the day or attitude.

They also control his sleep and food schedule, he has no independence, he can't be in servers without supervision, so being seen as a naive kid isn't the greatest thing ever !

They pet his head, or show off his wings to each other by holding them out before he even knows how to control the muscles. Commenting how small and bright they are.

Going through body horror and being cooed at for it, is a strange experience, he feels like a circus animal, if he does try to act more serious, he still hears snickers or the coos get worse.

Though, sometimes he leans into the treatment, if he's really upset, he'll accept the petting and comfort. He'll feel humiliated by the memory later, but when you're growing wings, it hurts and its nice for someone to rub circles on your back while you cry. (Also when they do grow out, he needs someone to clean the wound and brush the blood and gore out of the wings, he can barely move his arms.)

(Tho leaning into the treatment also means he'll occasionally actually throw a tantrum or meltdown, this doesn't help their view of him)

(He rly only leans into it around Aether, since she's the Watcher with responsibility over him, who he sees often, more comfortable around ? his mum ! She doesn't see him as young as others might, but hes still like....... 10... in her eyes...... so she can talk to him normally, but still cuts his fruit for him.)

Watchers see almost all players as naive and needing their guidance and protection. Promising talented players usually are chosen to join them.

Watchers have a pretty different idea and standard when it comes to raising children, so that disconnect also makes it harder on players. I don't think the Watchers wanted to harm Grian or make him feel that way.

(of course there is nuance to this, each watcher has their own thoughts and feelings, but for the most part this is how they think.)

Soooo yeah ! Watchers see him as a child, in ways both good and bad, Grian wanted to be an equal when he joined the Watchers, thats what he thought--or was led to believe ? But he's painfully aware that they see him as just a kid and always will. He still gets to do Watcher jobs and stuff though, which keeps him going hahaha Even after everything, Aether still sees him as a kid, it's not malicious, she can't help it ! He still has tiny white wings ! And hes so short..... (you can't blame a mum for always seeing her kid as little !)

This is why it was so hard for him to tell anyone, why he still doesn't give full details, its embarrassing, he's only told Mumbo all of this

#ask #evoAU #SRY I COULD HAVE ANSWERED U WITH JUST ONE SENTENCE BUT I STARTED RAMBLING #i think the extra context is always important...#this served as a good refresher..#when ur a kid... you dont rly have reference and just accept everything that happens-#-but if you try to treat an adult like a child.... they can see its wrong. kids are treated pretty harshly in society like its normal

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theghostofashton · 2 years

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#white feminists exhaust me #like i genuinely do not know what is disconnected for them #if you can't talk about being treated badly as a result of misogyny without being fucking racist........#the amount of them who make jokes about castrating men or wishing they could oppress men like hello ????#men of color would like a word lmfao #they continue to speak over woc while acting like woc are taken soooo seriously #like: we're not. if you think you're not being heard woc are doubly not lmfao #the world has not suddenly switched to listening to woc over white women #and it IS important to discuss intersectionality and how misogyny intersects w racism #to oppress woc in a different way than white women #a white woman's experience is not the same as mine and i am just so tired of hearing them act like it is #my race will always factor into how i'm treated that's not something i get to turn off #and i think this is what makes them worse than white men to me ??#bc w white men who are racist and misogynistic they're not quiet about it they will tell you that upfront #but these white feminists pretend they're fighting for all women make you think they care about all women act like you're supported #and then yank the rug out from under you bc woc are not we never have been and we never will be :)#and that just makes me feel so fucking shitty lmfao #like to be made to feel like you're part of a movement that your rights are being fought for #and then to realize that you don't actually matter bc of your skin color and no one cares what would actually help you #is just.......it's devastating in a way i don't know how to express lol #anyway ignore me i am just angry #white women say the stupidest fucking shit on here and it genuinely makes me see red sometimes lol

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toastsnaffler · 7 months

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in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....

#i thought when she was talking abt how her parents thought i was gonna come out as trans and kept checking my name/pronouns-#that the joke was that im ALREADY trans but in ways they dont know abt.... but nope she genuinely didnt know 🤭#to be fair. i dont rly let anyone in on my gender business unless we're close enough to be dating or its an anonymous online space #like im legally cis and thats fine. idc abt ppl using my name + she/her bc thats not my gender identity its just AN identity that i use-#to navigate the world without ppl being fucking nosy bc i pass as + am sociopolitically treated as a woman (if butch lol)#to ppl who are friends ill joke that my gender is dyke (true) and to friends whose gender falls on a similar spectrum-#or who are transmasc ill talk a little more honestly abt it bc theyre usually able to understand better than anyone else #other butch dykes w a weird gender going on are the only motherfuckers who actually Get It but theyre hard to come by tbh #to be frank i dont fucking know whats going on w my gender. and i dont rly care enough to do the introspection to figure it out rn #i have so many other problems in my life and im lucky that most of my beef w gender can be solved by presenting butch + binding #and using any pronouns around other queer ppl. its actually incredibly funny to me when ppl she/her me bc its like tch. this chump hasnt #unlocked my level of gender yet. pronouns and names in general are so far disconnected from the way i exist in the world...#its just smth thats fun for me to play around with + makes me feel weird sometimes but in ways i havent distilled yet yknow #and this has been my approach to gender for like?? 4-5 years now??? and likely will continue to be for a long while..#anyway. its not actually that surprising my flatmate doesnt know bc shes cis so ive never felt compelled to have a deeper conversation #abt gender with her. but also i could sweeaaar its been mentioned bc almost all our other friends are trans lol #and also ive been introducing myself at queer sports socials w any pronouns and i swear i talked abt that w her..... whatever #and my pronouns are on discord and shes def seen my tumblr before but maybe i didnt have them in my bio at the time... i digress #i kind of prefer cis ppl she/hering me tbh. theyre not able to they them or he him or whatever else me in a way that matters.....#altho i do find it fascinating when she or other ppl elect to use neutral or masculine terms for me. raising an eyebrow and taking notes #like when she got a job and joked abt me being her househusband.. pulling up the fem/masc tally chart and chalking a line up #a la nona the ninth.... ive been trying to figure out whos inhabiting this body my entire fucking life with no luck girl #ANYWAY just smth to think abt. im so tired i think my brain is gonna start seeping out my eyeballs #im gonna watch some more pluto and read and then -> 🛌#another 6:30 start tomorrow woohoo #.diaries #zzzzz

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feelslikegold · 1 month

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supposed to fly home today like I didn’t see the most babygirl jake possible last night and just ruin my entire life

#feeling v emotional about who gvf are to me today #I met so many genuinely amazing people last night?????#everyone around us were the sweetest humans ever 🧍🏻‍♀️#particular one older woman who I will literally never forget like I could feel my soul come out of my body to attach itself to hers she was #SO amazing with an amazing story ???? like she was 63 and she’d never in her life been to a concert before #of any kind #and she just finished chemo so her gift to her was going to her very first concert ??? which was greta #she was just…….. so sweet ?????? and so beautiful!!!! I kept checking up on her even though we are ignoring that she was across the floor #truly do not know how drunk val navigated last night without hurting myself somehow 🧍🏻‍♀️#anyways……. this band is so Different #would love to go to their shows and disconnect and just have a fun old time but i’m always hit with how I wouldn’t be here without their #music !!!#sounds dramatic af but 🧍🏻‍♀️#and josh and sam taking the time to go around bstage barricade and grab literally all of our hands #they both made eye contact with everyone they touched like they were truly taking it all in #I didn’t feel like just a paycheck to them 🧍🏻‍♀️#i’m 🫂🫂🫂🫂#and GOD the video of jake and the little girl #like. they care so much ???#ouch #hate them #hate what their shows do to me !!!!#going to be on a fucking plane and crying to frozen light 💀💀💀#truly embarrassing !!!!!!#I am not checking this for typos so have fun :)#jake kiszka #josh kiszka #greta van fleet

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luvsavos · 5 months

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(AA) hey, Mr. Martin, if you’re still doing oc asks, you mind if I ask some more? I literally know nothing (or, if I do, it’s very little) about them, and I figured you’d like to talk about them more too! So…for Lord Naasfilrah, 23? (As a god, I imagine he’s above our morals) and 29 for Shara? (What does a Shara Ishvalada even EAT?…I wonder…🤔)

i WILL get to the rest of my asks either later tonight or sometime tomorrow BUT i am in an oc mood so this one gets a special exception jgjgjv

oc ask meme!

23: Is your character morally gray or black or white?

naas is.... pretty damn morally gray; he definitely isn't as "true evil" as his brother, but he also sure as fuck isn't a saint by any means. he's very much the type that he WILL get done what he wants to by any means, no matter the consequences---though he is acutely aware of his role as destroyer, and he doesn't take nearly as much twisted pride in it as alaakiilah does; destruction as a necessary evil, is the way he sees himself. while he absolutely does not care about mortal life being caught in the crossfire of his actions, he is mindful of the world itself and tries to limit the amount of damage done to it.

29: What would be your character's favorite food?

you have NO idea how excited this specific question makes me because it's actually one of my favourite aspects of shara; hot chocolate! while their natural diet would probably be something more like absorbing energy from the earth itself via their wings (and maybe tail), they've taken a liking to hot chocolate specifically thanks to my friend @wolfoflyngvi 's oc, fenrir, who's one of the few people to genuinely consider shara a friend<3 they can fairly frequently be seen with some when in their mortal form, and they especially like it with marshmallows. they also just like marshmallows in general a lot too, they're especially fascinated by the tiny ones

#mar.txt #answered #aiden anon #oc tag: naasfilrah #oc tag: shara #shara's adoration of hot chocolate is by far one of my favourite things to have ever come out of rp for any of my ocs #in general tbh i'm very emotional over shara just like. as a whole? specifically like. how much humanity they have despite being so far #disconnected from it and not even really fully 'understanding' it #the way they consciously choose to cut their food into smaller bites before eating it in their mortal form. their adoration of hot chocolate #the way they choose to socialize and mingle with mortals despite being so socially awkward (despite being omnipotent so in theory they know #how to Not be socially inept/awkward ，they just are nonetheless)#the way they enjoy listening to mortals talk and enjoy hearing people tell them things even if they already know all of it，what will be said #what they're being told etc etc #the way they feel genuine guilt over certain things (ie everything with shang or blaming themself partway for what happened to naas even if #they know logically/rationally that wasn't their fault) despite being so disconnected from emotions they practically don't have any.....#picking up on mortal body language and mimicking it to try and make mortals feel less offput by them，especially in their mortal form......#moreover the fact that all of this is like. a conscious Decision on their end. they're Choosing to do all of this. they don't Have To，and #there's a STARK contrast between how they used to be vs the way they are now based on what they've picked up from mortals and the people #they consider their friends #i just adore them so much</3

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unxpctedlygreat · 2 years

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/whispers/ nb sylvain

#no i will not explain #few3h #i need a tag for my few3h ramblings #sylvain #no that's a lie i will explain affbs #Sylvain feeling uncomfortable in a room full of guys because he knows something is Off something is Wrong but he cannot pinpoint what #in a room full of women he's more comfortable because the gender disconnect is 'normal' and obvious #(.. dimilix related tag incoming sorry im unbearable with them) but #on dmlx wedding he's in the bridesmaids room with Mercie Annie and all bc Mercie asked him to come #and he’s genuinely comfortable here and helps the girls get ready #at some point he picks up one of the dresses and jokingly pretend to try it on (like just holding it in front of him)#asking with a wink 'How do I look?' and expecting Mercedes and Annette (and Ingrid) to laugh it off #except Mercie and Annie are definitely just gonna gush bc the dress would look good on him (but it's the wrong size) and tell him he's gorg #gorgeous and all & Ingrid mostly stares at him with an unreadable look in her eyes but she doesnt say a thing& just goes back to her outfit #Sylvain probably half panics and puts the dress back down and says he's got to go get prepared too and leaves in a rush #maybe later after the wedding he finds a package on his bed one day— it's a dress similar to the one he held but definitely his size now #im probably gonna run out of tag space but just know Sylvain gets to try out feminine stuff and is loved & supported by all of his friends #i just really like nb Sylvain

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theguardianace · 1 year

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gender my beloved behated

#love how ive been using multiple pronouns for like two years now and he/him for over a year and only now am like Wait #idk i think i started using she/they out of a rejection of the traditional views of femininity and disconnect from aroaceness #and i do really like that choice i made! it fit me for a while. it sounds nice.#i did feel kind of bad about it at first. like i was copying people to fit in. despite the fact i genuinely liked she/they.#i felt so guilty when people used they/them bc i thought i was faking it #but i did grow out of that thankfully #and then in math class one day i was like hm i would not object to he/him so why not just. add it.#just as a thing to throw in there. girl in a guy way.#cue rinse and repeat the they/them thing.#and then i kinda didn't think about it for a while? it just was?#every once in a while that “you're faking it” voice would come back.#and then a new one came in.#why would i be faking it. i dont think most cis people think like this #most cis people dont have problems looking in the mirror working out.#most cis people dont dread looking in the window with a backpack on.#most cis people dont have nights where they sit there and go “guy”.#i dont really know what my gender even would be #my gender isnt girl. i know that. i don't mind being perceived as one though.#i dont have any issue playing girls sports and hanging out with girls and identifying as sapphic/lesbian #but i also dont think im just a guy. i dont connect with all of masculinity. some sure. but not a whole lot.#i used to consider agender but i dont think that applies anymore bc there is definitely something there.#i dont really like a lot of other labels. none of them fit #i like just identifying as me. im just me! your good friend aura. someone who is kind and passionate and hard working #i just wish i had the language to figure out what it is im feeling.#i know my preferences for pronoun order changes! its just scary when he/him is the favorite for this long.#i like she/her. it's familiar and soft and kind.#they/them is cool too! its yellow. a nice one.#i dont know how to feel about he/him yet. it feels forbidden. like im not allowed to like it.#but i do anyways #idk. i'll figure it out. or not. i just wanted to put this out there.

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jooniez · 2 years

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okay wow so today was a whirlwind of emotions 😭😵‍💫🥹

#my brain is mush and others have said it better than me cause I’m usually not that good at expressing myself so I’ll rb some posts after #but I just wanted to let out some thoughts right now cause it’s been a crazy day #first of all I only got through half the festa vid so far cause I started watching before dinner but I got through a lot of their talking #about the hiatus and I think the main reason why I was so emotional and why I was crying so hard listening was more so about the fact that #they feel BAD about this more so than the actual hiatus itself #cause even though it’s going to be different and a lot more solo content (which I’m genuinely so excited for) it’s not like they’re going #to be completely gone like they even said they’re still doing run so that’s something I’m really happy about too #obviously I’m going to miss all the ot7 content but it’s not like this is permanent obviously one day they will call it quits for good but #that day isn’t today and I’ll obviously deal with that when it comes. but besides that the main reason why I’m so sad is that they felt #like they didn’t have a right to feel burnt out or to feel disconnected or to feel upset. they felt like they had to push these feelings #away and put aside going on this hiatus for years cause they didn’t want to disappoint us and that just broke my heart ..#like namjoons face and seeing all that pain he’s been carrying for years absolutely broke me #like I really wish they would be so much more selfish than they are sometimes because they DO deserve this break and they have for YEARS #that’s the point that really made me upset .. and joon even said that he felt the members resented him at times and even though they assured #him they didn’t he said ‘I know but that’s how I felt’ and it just kills me that they’ll always think we’re going to be upset about stuff #like this even though a vast majority of us .. the true fans .. want them to have this resting period #and be able to be on their own and figure themselves out .. everyone needs that and I have SO much respect to them for speaking on this #and making that video #so yea idk I’m feeling a bit sad but more so just … relieved?? that they’re finally taking this much needed time for themselves #and I’m honestly so excited to see what they do for their solo work 💜 I love them so much as artist and people #and seeing them always being honest and raw and vulnerable no matter how difficult … so much love and respect for them 💗#mine #idk I have so much more to say too but I never know how to express it well online .. I just love bangtan always 💜

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almondarcade · 6 months

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i really just show up once every month to use this shit as a diary because i cant on twitter where people will see lmAO

#i had a mutual block me no explanation yesterday after we had been talking and joking just fine and it made me spiral hardcore #ive been crying since #i dont know what i did and i tried messaging them from an old account but they havent replied #and i seriously cannot stop fucking crying.#i cant even FATHOM what i did. im not kidding. i deadass do not know why they did that.#they still follow our common mutuals as well.#and im so fucking upset and distraught i genuinely thought we were cool and they were one of the only people who commented on my shit #i followed them before we were mutuals too and really like their art so i was so excited when they followed me back #it seriously has fucking ruined me and im literally at work for another 5 hours trying not to fucking cry.#i feel so fucking disconnected from all my online friends in general i feel like i dont have anyone anymore #whatever man #i need to be medicated or put down.

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gilligans-islands · 8 months

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Sometimes I think back to season 1 of ofmd, during the time when ep 7 and 8 had just come out and we got the “You came back?” “Never left.” scene and it hadn’t been confirmed yet that Ed and Stede were gonna get together.

I just remember how scared so many of us were, how little hope we had that anything would really come of the next episodes besides maybe, hopefully a confession scene.

I look back now amazed because of how openly queer this show is now in its 2nd season. How openly queer it was then too despite many of us being too caught up on being burnt by previous shows to really trust it.

If you had told the me who was avidly waiting for the final eps to air—

No, if you had told the me after the final episodes of s1 aired that in season 2 we’d have the main couple—who is GAY—have a scene where the love of one literally bring the other back to life, have a scene where one confesses his love to the other albeit in a roundabout way, kiss not just once but TWICE within 4 episodes, pretty passionately might I add, AND have SEX?! All the while that’s not even all of the explicitly queer relationships and characters in this season by a great margin??

I really don’t think I would have believed anyone, not even my future self.

I don’t know maybe I’m being overdramatic but it just feels so big. They don’t make it a big deal in the show, everyone is just queer in some way. It’s such casual and yet wholly encapsulating representation.

I’ve never felt more represented and I guess normal than when I watch this show.

#there’s always something about lots of shows marketed towards queer people that like they feel genuine and are good rep #but I’ve always felt so disconnected from them in a way?#and that’s not me saying like #oh it wasn’t written by queer people so it’s not accurate enough that’s not what I’m saying #many queer shows are entirely written by queer people #i always kind of feel bad when I don’t want to watch the like big hit queer shows or movies that come out #but I just don’t find them at all relatable #somehow they don’t represent ME #they don’t resonate for some reason #even though they do for many many many other queer people out there #I don’t think I could ever properly explain why #so I will not try to #all I know is that watching this show #this stupid gay little pirate show that I love so fucking much #i finally see #me #I can see myself in these characters #i can relate to them #I’ve genuinely never seen more of myself in a character than I do in Ed #I like to bring up the example of kinning when I think about this #I’ve never really been into kinning characters much #but if ever there was a character that I could say I quote unquote kinned it would be Ed #it’s a wholly new experience being able to actually think that #to see that in a character for me #it just- it means so much #I don’t know if I have the words #I’m running out of tag room and I’m rambling so I’ll wrap this up #I always ramble when I talk about this show #ofmd #ofmd spoilers

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