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batsarebetterthanpeople · 9 months

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im so sorry to send you this but im confused. i thought izzy hands was obviously homophobic while i was watching the show but now people on the internet are telling me that calling him gay and homophobic is a conspiracy theory. i want to trust my instincts on this as a queer myself but they say it so much i think im starting to believe it. i know literally none of this matters but its genuinely bumming me out. maybe we all just have slightly different definitions of homophobia?

I would love to answer this for you. Your instincts are correct. Izzy is gay and homophobic. You should trust your gut on this because it's important for you be able to identify guys like Izzy irl if you're someone who might be on the receiving end of homophobia.

What happened is that back in June of 2022 everyone fully agreed that Izzy was one of those repressed gay men who's internalized homophobia rotted his soul and became externalized. We wanted to put him in a jar. We all interested in how this weird little freak got this way. Then everything changed when the canyon formed. Since then it has been a mad dash to beat the allegations. Unfortunately an actor has validated them in a way that makes me really wonder about him frankly, because he seems to be operating under the impression that people are saying that Izzy is a "homo sex is sin" Style homophobe when nobody was saying that, what we were saying is that Izzy is incredibly weird about and hateful towards feminine men and he believes that Stede is corrupting Ed with his foppishness, which is still homophobia it's just a different brand of homophobia than the religious right's obsession with the mechanics.

Tbh tho I don't actually care about that actors' take because he's not a writer, he has a history of not being very good at reading the subtext given that he fully didn't realize it was a gay show for half the episodes, and David Jenkins has liked multiple metas on twt about Izzy being a homophobe so I'll trust that lol. The only consequence that Con O'Neill being publically wrong has had for me is that people occasionally do an unearned victory lap when he says something.

But also I low key sometimes feel incredibly unsafe knowing that there's a substantial group of people who claim to be queer and against homophobia but who can't understand that the whole subplot with Lucius in episode 5 and the thing with Ed in episode 10 is laced with bigotry against feminine gay men. I don't think admitting that means you have to think it's his only motivation or that it's contradictory to the read of him being attracted to Ed and Lucius or with the concept that he's mostly just power hungry, but it does sort of mean that I have to move through the world knowing that there are people in my own community who would fully blame me if something happened to me. I don't fucking like it. That's why I get so upset about this so publicly. It's like so what happens if I get attacked but the guy calls me a namby pamby or a bitch instead of a faggot. Are you gonna be like "well we don't know~". It's just an uncomfortable thought. I don't understand why they're so desperate to beat the allegations either, like he's fake. People who have experienced things like what Ed and Lucius went through at his hands are real. The argument that gay people can "do something to (someone)'s brain" is written into legislation trying to ban trans people from public life. Nobody wants you to stop liking Izzy we just want you to stop saying shit that's harmful

And I don't necessarily think that everyone who chooses to put more emphasis on Izzys obsession with Ed wouldn't be able to identify a hate crime, I just have seen more than one piece of meta that goes "Izzys not homophobic he just thinks Stede is a mincing fop who's corrupting Ed with his frilly whiles there's nothing homophobic about that" and I just have to block them for being homophobic themselves because what else do I do with that? When I vague post about this shit I'm talking about specific ass things that I've seen that have made me feel very uncomfortable and unsafe not generic canyon trends. I just really feel like we need to calm down about Izzy. Like you can feel empathy towards a gay guy that hates himself and write a bunch of fic about him getting laid without deciding actually he did nothing wrong and everyone who can see that that's not true is making shit up to oppress *checks notes* people who like a fictional character. I don't get why that's so hard to do.

#the izcourse

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missmayhemvr · 9 months

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You know, baulders gate 3 is really a great example of how white leftist is, everything I'm about to say if coming from a bi black trans woman in a poly. It is a game that prioritized the lgbt peoples wants within role-playing spaces, and didn't for a second think of the largest most glaring long term issue of the space of role play and fantasy.

It's rabid racism. Euro fantasy has been entrench in racism atleast since Tolkien put pen to paper to write "the lord of the rings" and potentially longer than that, Tolkien himself stated the dwarves were meant to be his stand in for Jewish people, the orcs meant to be "the mongoloid hordes" (a term that comes start out of eugenics and race science) the humans are meant to be Britain I believe, and if it isn't clear who the elves are idk to tell you considering when the book was written. And when you understand the book in the context and what it was saying you realize some stuff. The unfortunate problem is in the like 100 years since that book it's hardly moved from ww2 era racism, hp the goblins are Jewish caricatures, blood libel the game came out and people twisted themselves into making that supposedly moral to play that game. Dnd was made by a bioesentialist who was super Christian who would in the end import much of the ideas from Tolkien, the idea of evil races, racism and a hard and fast good and evil chart that was influenced by the race of your character, and so much of that and the lack of realizing that they were addressing a real as fuck world event that happened and doing so without ever being like "oh maybe we should allow the player to address the issue oh their party and random npcs being racist as shit to each other, especially in regards to the terror attack that happened"

For those not knowing baulders gate has a story beat where the city with a lot teiflings gets teleported to the hells and teiflings as a whole are blamed for this and are all kicked out. If you know anything about world events a terror attack on a large multicultural city happens and all of one particular group is condemned as a result, is gonna sound a lot like 2001 and the results of 9/11.

Me as a queer person could likely have made it through bg3 easy, me as a black person playing a teifling, who understands that teiflings are very much what the creator of dnd thought of black folks, the references to the one drop rule, who btw presents as a teifling in vrchat because of this. Cannot get through this game that starts you off with just endless hate crimes, against teifling refugees. Especially considering you really can't say or do much in regards to it unless you just wanna fight all the druids. Especially considering that when I picked teifling in the character creator the default character literally just looked like me.

And having this game that these people went out of their way to make sure lgbt people felt seen but had nothing for the poc just feels so much like white leftist. Entirely unwilling to challenge or address racism of the status quo or even within their own spaces that are supposedly friendly to me and an ally to me. And yet when my foot touches the door step all I'm met by is hostility.

#baulders gate 3 #racism #anti blackness

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inhumanliquid · 3 months

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Just so everyone is very aware of why I've been reblogging so much negative shit lately (aside from that being how I am):

In Oklahoma, a non-binary teenager was murdered by a group of girls for simply existing "wrong". The media, including queer media, opted to use words like "fight" instead of what it actually was- a hate crime.

Trans women are being wrongly banned from Tumblr because Photographic Matthew sucks ass. A not insignificant number of Tumblr transfems have decided to go hard on blaming every transmasc ever for every problem a transfem could ever face when we are objectively not each other's enemies.

The USA is trying really hard to pass KOSA, a bill that will affect the entire internet and make everything worse for every minority.

The aforementioned Hell country currently looks like this:

Everyone is too busy fighting among each other and making jokes to give a fuck about the fact that there are, in fact, actual fucking problems.

If I fucking die soon, you know why.

#transphobia #fuck the usa #kosa bill #sui implied

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utilitycaster · 1 year

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Hi I just wanted to say thank you for putting everything that frustrates me about the fandom’s interpretation of Imogen and Laudna into words. I’ve made a few posts about Imogen’s flaws and how easily she seems to switch loyalties and I’ve been met with so many people telling me I’m not watching the show right or how Imogen isn’t to blame because she’s being controlled by the moon and it’s exhausting. I’ve been wanting to make a post about it but I didn’t know how to phrase it and you articulated pretty everything I’ve been thinking. I’m also planning on writing about the weird misandry in the fandom and how a lot of people don’t like male or male presenting characters if they can’t them their uwu sad white boy of the month and am really interested if you have any thoughts on that. I really hope people aren’t assholes to you about that post❤️ -brjeauregard

Hey! Thank you so much! I'm assuming you're ok going by your handle here since it was a voluntary add to an anon but if you want me to delete this for whatever reason feel free to message me and I will.

Yeah...I'd agree that it's really tiresome how if you actually want to engage with Imogen as an entire character with motivations and flaws, there's this immediate freakout. It's obnoxious that people seem to think all her impatience, grudges, and little snipes and unkindnesses must come from some other source (the gnarlrock, Ruidus); it can't be her cynicism or being cranky due to exhaustion from holding up her psychic barriers; that only makes her more nurturing and empathetic, apparently). Like, there's all these accusations that people have no empathy for Imogen, coming from people who openly would happily throw every other character (sometimes even including Laudna) from the skyship for the crime of having individual motivations different from Imogen's goals, and I'm very over it.

I would love to see more posts about the misandry, tbh. It's a really tricky subject because like...look, in the real world, misogyny is a load-bearing pillar of oppression not just of women, but one of the core underpinnings of homophobia, transphobia, and toxic masculinity as well. What people call misandry irl is, much of the time, either hatred directed on an individual level rather than a systemic one or is actually oppression of men under a different system (eg, transphobia towards trans or gnc men; racism towards men of color, etc). But in fandom, especially on Tumblr which is overwhelmingly female and/or queer, there is this weird hatred towards men (or, as we've seen a bunch with Ashton, masc-leaning nb people) in fiction for no reason other than they are not women. I'm not linking them here so as to not invite weird shit to the doors of my mutuals but I can think of two very good recent posts that touch on this subject, one from a month or so ago about the fandom tendency to reshape characters in their own (often white middle-class queer) image instead of trying to relate to someone not like you; and one from yesterday that does address fandom misandry directly.

It is interesting because it feels like half of the hatred or weird fanon towards male characters comes from a "well I can't make him into a palatable white sadboy" (trying to turn Orym into The Most Tragic when he is just a guy; ignoring Chetney, Fjord, or Scanlan because they don't fit that mold neatly); and the other half comes from hating the character because he can conceivably be treated as a white sadboy even though he's got much more going on (Vax, Percy, Caleb, sometimes Caduceus). Like, there is really no winning. To be fair, there's also no winning for female characters among people with that mindset (see: the entire post that prompted this, in which they must be Good Examples Of Sweet Unproblematic Women who Chastely Kiss, Pinterest Style) or nb characters (will be misgendered in an instant if they do not support the narrative of the fave or interfere with preferred ships).

I think, generally, once people start judging a fictional character, who lives in a gender-equal world with no transphobia, primarily on the basis of gender, it just turns into a slippery slope of kind of hating every character. I do want to see interesting women in fiction! Part of why I watch actual play is because it is a still relatively rare case where many of the originators of these characters are women who are granted nigh-total creative control over their characters! But I'm not going to write off a character with a personality that speaks to me simply because our genders don't match; that's not interesting to me and it feels far too close to gender essentialism for my comfort. And if you do for whatever reason want to watch actual play that only has female PCs, that is your choice to make...but you then need to find that show instead of being mad that there are men on the show with five men and three women in the main cast.

#answered #Anonymous #cr tag

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daughter-of-sapph0 · 2 years

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independence day my ass. the fourth of July represents freedom only for white xian cishet rich men.

Black people didn't truly get their freedom until the civil rights act, and even then, they still face racism and police brutality to this day. women didn't get the right to vote until 1920, and even then it was just white wealthy women. and today, women who can't get pregnant are seen as useless, and women who can get pregnant have no bodily autonomy if they are pregnant. gay people weren't given basic human rights until 2015, and they're still blamed for everything and called "groomers" for simply existing. trans people, Black trans women especially, are the group of people with the highest rate of abuse, assault, and murder percentage-wise. impoverished people, homeless people, incarcerated people, none of them are treated fairly or respected by the people who run this fucking country.

and that's not even mentioning immigrants. Hispanic Americans are constantly the victim of racist fear mongering. Asian Americans faced a massive increase in hate crimes and murder in just the past few years. Middle Eastern Americans are the victims of racist and Islamic hate crimes. Jewish Americans are blamed for every single problem on earth, and risk being murdered in their place of worship. and pretty much every single race and religion that isn't white and xian faces xenophobia in some form.

and then native Americans, who faced one of the largest genocides in history, who constantly have their rights and ever shrinking reservations taken away, who face poverty and discrimination, who have their history and cultures erased, and who this land originally belonged to before the white man stole it and murdered millions.

do any of us actually experience freedom? sure some of us have been given tiny bite sized rights in the past century. but those are hardly an achievement. the government giving you rights implies that they can also take them away. but even if we assume those rights are enough, many of us have faced extreme levels of hate, discrimination, and violence in just the past few years. is this what freedom looks like? tell me, are you free?

#dostxt

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draculasstrawhat · 2 years

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I don’t really know how to communicate how scary everything is in the UK right now. Just… that we are running on 12 years of austerity politicise, the knowledge that we don’t have a free, independent press, that given our broken FPTP system and the way constituency boundaries have been redrawn, we’ve probably *had* our last free and fair - and that it’s only going to get worse - that our NHS is on its knees, and that in 2019 a leader running on a truly progressive platform garnered mass support and a vast number of votes, but *lost* seats, and the way that this absolutely *terrified* our commentariat, so that he was persistently smeared in our allegedly unbiased and independent press until public opinion turned against him, and that meanwhile just under 50% of the population are convinced that what we actually need is something more adjacent to fascism.

The fact that during the pandemic, the government has lied, broken the law, laughed at the mass death, handed public money to their mates, sold off public assets and handed the money to their mates and that all of this is just the continuing trend of this 12 year government of liars and frauds. Some of these mates, incidentally, have alarmingly close ties with organisations like Kiwi Farms who have *absolutely* been interfering in our elections and national discourse generally.

Meanwhile, we’re having a cost-of-living crisis, wages are stagnated, and people are having to decide between feeding their families and paying their rent and heating their homes. People are literally dying of hunger after being penalised by our broken welfare system in ways that are declared unlawful which I’m sure was a *great* comfort to their grieving families. Meanwhile, we are deporting and imprisoning people fleeing international violence, and homophobic hate crimes are skyrocketing, and racial violence is only increasing. Meanwhile protest has been more or less criminalised and we are entering the early stages of ethnic cleansing against our traveller population. Meanwhile a tiny, but *very* well funded and connected little cabal of bigots have decided that trans people are to blame of all of this.

Meanwhile, let’s drape everything in the fucking flag and spend a couple of billion on the fucking jubilee. Never mind that around half the population don’t want ANY of this, but that we’re stuck here, our votes meaningless, our healthcare precarious, the very basics of our lives becoming unaffordable… All our industrial safety, food safety, environmental safety legislation is looking to be stripped - and has already taken a battering. Our unions have been rendered nearly powerless. We are looking at throwing away the Good Friday Agreement. Politicians have been touting the idea of forcing the unemployed, elderly and disabled to work in the fields. We’ve lost any real social safety net this country ever had. There is spreading popular support (presumably among the aforementioned pro-fascism contingent) for bringing back the death penalty.

And before anyone goes “lol, Britain” on this post, believe me, the people who are going to die from this will not be the white, cis, het conservatives you’re thinking of. It will be people of colour, immigrants, our Jewish and Romany communities, it will be poor people, disabled people, queer people. It will be our passionate, left wing organisers, and our political dissidents. It will be Scotland and Wales and Northern Ireland, and the former ‘red wall’ of the North who suffer. Even in England… if you can get it round your heads that there are good people in the Deep South of America, who are disenfranchised and afraid - then can you please understand there are good people here, too? People who are scared and don’t have the resources available to them to leave, whose votes will never count for anything because of our broken electoral system. People who should not have to leave their families and homes because of this.

Anyway, I’m fucking terrified. I don’t know that we can turn this around. I just pray every single day that I’m wrong and try to help build resilient communities of care where I can.

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mishafletcher · 4 years

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Are you a Gold Star lesbian? (Just in case you don't know what it means, a Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian that has never had the sex with a guy and would never have any intentions of ever doing so)

So I got this ask a while ago, and I've been lowkey thinking about it ever since.

First: No. I am a queer, cranky dyke who is too old for this sort of bullshit gatekeeping.

Second: What an unbelievable question to ask someone you don't even know! What an incomprehensibly rude thing to ask, as if you're somehow owed information about my sexual history. You're not! No one—and I can't reiterate this enough, but no one—owes you the details of their sex lives, of their trauma, or of anything about themselves that they don't feel like sharing with you.

The clickbait mills of the internet and the purity police of social media would like nothing more than to convince everyone that you owe these things to everyone. They would like you to believe that you have to prove that you're traumatized enough to identify with this character, that you can't sell this article about campus rape without relating it to your own sexual assault, that you can't talk about queer issues without offering up a comprehensive history of your own experiences, and none of those things are true. You owe people, and especially random strangers on the internet, nothing, least of all citations to somehow prove to them that you have the right to talk about your own life.

This makes some people uncomfortable, and to be clear, I think that that's good: people who feel entitled to demand this information should be uncomfortable. Refusing to justify yourself takes power away from people who would very much like to have it, people who would like to gatekeep and dictate who is permitted to speak about what topics or like what things. You don't have to justify yourself. You don't have to explain that you like this ship because this one character reminds you a bit of yourself because you were traumatized in a vaguely similar way and now— You don't have to justify your queerness by telling people about the best friend you had when you were twelve, and how you kissed, and she laughed and said it was good practice for when she would kiss boys and your stomach twisted and your mouth tasted like bile and she was the first and last girl you kissed, but—

You don't owe anyone these pieces of yourself. They're yours, and you can share them or not, but if someone demands that you share, they're probably not someone you should trust.

Third: The idea of gold star lesbians is a profoundly bi- and trans- phobic idea, often reducing gender to genitals and the long, shared history of queer women of all identities to a stark, artificial divide where some identities are seen as purer or more valuable than others. This is bullshit on all counts.

There's a weird and largely artificial division between bisexuals and lesbians that seems to be intensifying on tumblr, and I have to say: I hate it. Bisexual women aren't failed lesbians. They're not somehow less good or less valid because they're attracted to [checks notes] people. Do you think that having sex with a man somehow changes them? What are you so worried about it for? I've checked, and having sex with a man does not, in fact, make your vagina grow teeth or tentacles. Does that make you feel better? Why is what other people are doing so threatening to you?

Discussions of gold star lesbians are often filled with tittering about hehe penises, which is unfortunate, since I know a fair few lesbians who have penises, and even more lesbians who've had sex with people, men and women alike, who have penises. I'm sorry to report that "I'm disgusted by a standard-issue human body part" is neither a personality nor anything to be proud of. I'm a dyke and I don't especially like men, but dicks are just dicks. You don't have to be interested in them, but a lot of people have them, and it doesn't make you less of a lesbian to have sex with someone who has a dick.

There's so much garbage happening in the world—maybe you haven't noticed, but things are kind of Not Great in a lot of places, and there's a whole pandemic thing that's been sort of a major buzzkill? How is this something that you're worried about? Make a tea, remind yourself that other people's genitalia and sexual history are none of your business, maybe go watch a video about a cute animal or something.

Fourth: The idea of gold star lesbians is a shitty premise that argues that sexuality is better if it's always been clear-cut and straightforward—but it rarely is. We live in a very, very heterosexist culture. I didn’t have a word for lesbian until many years after I knew that I was one. How can you say that you are something when your mouth can’t even make the shape of it? The person you are at 24 is different to the person you are at 14, and 34, and 74. You change. You get braver. The world gets wider. You learn to see possibilities in the shadows you used to overlook. Of course people learn more about themselves as they age.

Also, many of us, especially those of us who grew up in smaller towns, or who are over the age of, say, 25, grew up in times and places where our sexuality was literally criminal.

Shortly after I graduated high school, a gay man in my state was sentenced to six months in jail. Why? Well, he’d hit on someone, and it was a misdemeanor to "solicit homosexual or lesbian activity", which included expressing romantic or sexual interest in someone who didn’t reciprocate. You might think, then, that I am in fact quite old, but you would be mistaken. The conviction was in 1999; it was overturned in 2002.

I grew up knowing this: the wrong thing said to the wrong person would be sufficient reason to charge me with a crime.

In the United States, the Defense of Marriage Act was passed in 1996, clarifying that according to the federal government, marriage could only ever be between one man and one woman. It also promised that even if a state were to legalize same-sex unions, other states wouldn't have to recognize them if they didn't want to. And wow, they super did not want to, because between 1998 and 2012, a whopping thirty states had approved some sort of amendment banning same-sex marriage.

Every queer person who's older than about 25 watched this, knowing that this was aimed at people like them. Knowing that these votes were cast by their friends and their families and their teachers and their employers.

Some states were worse than others. Ohio passed their bill in 2004 with 62% approval. Mississippi passed theirs the same year with 86% approval. Imagine sitting in a classroom, or at work, or in a church, or at a family dinner, and knowing that statistically, at least two out of every three people in that room felt you shouldn't be allowed to marry someone you loved.

Matthew Shepard was tortured to death in October of 1998. For being gay, for (maybe) hitting on one of the men who had planned to merely rob him. Instead, he was tortured and left to die, tied to a barbed wire fence. His murderers were both sentenced to two consecutive life terms in prison. This was controversial, because a nonzero number of people felt that Shepard had brought it upon himself.

Many of us sat at dinner tables and listened to this discussion, one that told us, over and over, that we were fundamentally wrong, fundamentally undeserving of love or sympathy or of life itself.

This is a tiny, tiny sliver of history—a staggeringly incomplete overview of what happened in the US over about ten years. Even if this tiny sliver is all that there were, looking at this, how could you blame someone for wanting to try being not Like This? How can you fault someone who had sex, maybe even had a bunch of sex, hoping desperately that maybe they could be normal enough to be loved if they just tried harder? How can you say that someone who found themself an uninteresting but inoffensive boyfriend and went on dates and had sex and said that it was fine is somehow less valuable or less queer or less of a lesbian for doing so? For many people, even now, passing as straight, as problematic as that term is, is a survival skill. How dare you imply that the things that someone did to protect themself make them worth less? They survived, and that's worth literally everything.

Fifth, finally: What is a gold star, anyhow? You've capitalized it, like it's Weighty and Important, but it's not. Gold stars were what your most generous grade school teacher put on spelling tests that you did really well on. But ultimately, gold stars are just shiny scraps of paper. They don't have any inherent value: I can buy a thousand of them for five bucks and have them at my door tomorrow. They have only the meaning that we give them, only the importance that we give them. We’re not children desperately scrabbling for a teacher’s approval anymore, though. We understand that good and bad are more of a spectrum than a binary, and that a gold star is a simplification. We understand that no number of gold stars will make us feel like we’re special enough or good enough or important enough, or fix the broken places we can still feel inside ourselves. Only we can do that.

The stars are only shiny scraps of paper. They offer us nothing; we don’t need them. I hope that someday, you see that, too.

#queer stuff #lgbtq #gold star lesbians #long post #sorry #Anonymous

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multiples-fandomswontkillme · 3 years

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~Metal Family headcanons~

These are like my... general hcs)? which means I didn't include my main hc that Glam, Ches and Vicky are polyamorous, married and started dating after Glam met Vicky, and absolutely everything that implies for the kids and the relationships between each member of the fam. Maybe I'll make a separate post for that or maybe not! Who knows lkfwnlfqnf

Glam

Bisexual

Glam has constant nightmares and ocasional night terrors ever since he ran away home and is an active sleep walker. Ches helped him through the worse ones when they were younger, and learned how to deal with them, always preferring not to wake him up but being with him until the episode passed. Vicky has learned how to deal with them, though she normally asks Ches for advice with it cuz she comes out short sometimes.

He has PTSD. I bet it's diagnosed too, he takes medication and goes to therapy, it doesn't mean he still doesn't have his bad days anyway. He's trying to get better.

Glam has talked to Vicky about his past, his father and his family. This is a direct contradiction of Alina's confirmation that Glam doesn't talk about it with anyone but man FUCK THAT. We love good communication in this house, Vicky tries her best to help him, but there's only so much she can do to help.

Glam enjoys gardening, cooking and making models, he also likes doing his make up, painting his nails and dressing up in fancy, extravagant clothes even if he has nowhere important to go.

He likes taking care of everyone's hair, and constantly helps Vicky brush her hair cuz there's so much of it, Dee when he gets stressed over how tangled it can get, buys Ches hair products so he actually takes care of it, and chases Heavy so the kid actually washes, untangles and brushes his hair.

This one is kind of weird, but I refuse to think any adult in the family is unarmed at any time. Glam owns a taser and pepper spray. They're bright pink and sparkly.

This man cried his eyes out while watching Coco. He's hell to watch movies with cuz he talks and predicts what's gonna happen during the movie, judges them with scores at the end and all.

Vicky

Also bisexual!

Vicky's the one who does everyone's laundry most of the time. She prefers it that way since she's the only one that knows how to wash their black clothes so the colors stay vibrant. (This is based on my gf shaming everyone but Vicky cuz their black clothes always look so muted and almost gray, but Vicky's whole outfit is always the same vibrant black colors, so we decided that neither Glam or the kids know how to wash dark clothes)

She has anger issues, if it isn't obvious. I think she also has PTSD, mainly survivor's guilt due to her surviving the accident her brother died in. She blames herself and cannot bear to talk about it, in some sort of deep denial. If she can't remember, it can't hurt as much, right?

She has scars on the right side of her back and her hip, from the road rash she got on her brother's accident, she never treated it due to grief and it scarred badly. Apart from that, the scar of the caesarean section from Heavy's birth. She doesn't really mind both of them, they happened, nothing to do about them.

She likes watching boxing competitions, brawling matches and motorcycle repairing on TV. Loves doing BBQ's and going to the pool. Also an enjoyer of teasing her kids, kissing and loving her husband at random times, spending time drinking and bonding with Ches and bragging about her family and punching anyone who thinks they're not that cool.

Not particularly a fan of make up, skirts and dresses or any traditionally femenine-perceived stuff. But has been making exceptions due to Glam and Ches being unashamed of being seen as femenine, and actually rocking the looks. The internalized misogyny is kind of slowly dissapearing.

Apart from the guns she carries in each arm (I mean her biceps, have you looked at the size of those?? She strong) she has brass knuckles on her at all times. Glam gifts her new ones sometimes, she loves having multiple choices to punch people teeth in.

Loves horror, thrillers and action movies. Falls asleep during rom-coms and dramas. Ironically, loves gossip and talking shit about people. Enjoys hearing Ches talks about the gossip going on in the nursery home even if she doesn't know who the hell he's talking about.

Rest of the family under the cut!

Heavy

Heavy is a trans boy! He doesn't know his sexuality yet though, he's still figuring himself out. When he's older, i think he definitely dated some men but had better luck with girls.

Heavy has had innocent crushes on some girls on his class before, but they never turn into anything more cuz he's not the best at expressing himself. He follows the bother-the-girl-to-death-until-she-hates-you gimmick, and unsurprisingly, it doesn't work.

I'm sorry to break this to u but Heavy totally had an among us phase, and uses so much reddit and twitch slang... You know he does.

Likes bullying and teasing his brother to death. You know that when Dee had his first romance, Heavy was ALL up in his business being a tease and a bad attempt at a wingman. He means well tho.

He's not squeamish at all. Also has great pain resistance. This kid has picked cockroaches with his bare hands and loves cats, of course the cats have scratched him. He's tough!

Grows up to be the charming himbo he was always destined to be.

Dee

I hc him as demisexual. Kind of inherited his dad's tastes for the takes no crap, intimidating but pretty kind of people.

Can't cook. He tries but he can only do basics like rice, cereal, chicken nuggets or eggs. Complicated meals always burn or don't taste like anything at all. It drives him crazy.

Dee was a quiet and very well behaved toddler before Heavy was born. He never threw tantrums or got whims. After Heavy was born though, and despite the fact he understood his brother was small and needed special care, he started craving attention often and cried and got mad at little things. Typical jealousy of the oldest sibling.

The first time Dee fell in love with someone, he didn't recognize it was love at first. He just thought his interest on the person was born out of curiosity and aesthetic attraction, but as soon as he realized he seeked validation and companionship, that he liked seeing them smile, that he wanted to protect them, that he yearned for more time alone with them and that he wanted more than what just a simple friendship implied, it was an instant 'oh hell no'. He wanted those feelings to get the hell away, but unfortunately, they were there to stay.

Canonically likes MLP, psychological and horror anime like Death note and Hellsing, so I'm deciding he also watched Death Parade, had a FNAF phase, is very into The Walten Files. This guy enjoys any kind of specially dark ARG's and knows a ton of lore of real crime, unsolved cases, ghost appearances and other stuff. Doesn't believe in the supernatural, but sure is entertained by it.

He's a mess at romance. Flirting? His attempts at compliments are hardly flattering. Giving gifts? The best he can manage is jewelry and you can kind of tell he asked his dad for help. Dates? He's so nervous he's silent for most of it, but begins getting comfortable and having fun if his partner really knows how to get him down from his negativity cloud.

Ches

Pansexual.

He's very good with kids. He has the patience of a saint and he's laid-back, chill and fun but still is an authority figure who knows how to put limits. Sure, he's gonna let the kids light up a house on fire BUT hey, now they know everything about fire precautions, burns and how to treat them AND how to get away with arson. What an educational evening, am I right?

Due to certain info from the "Goodbye" official comic, I headcanon Ches as depressed. I don't want to elaborate a lot 'cuz of spoilers, but... God, everything related to his mom fucking hurts, man. How did he deal with all that?

Ches has been Dee and Heavy's babysitter so many times he cannot count them with all his fingers. He learned how to put those kids to sleep almost immediately (Sing Bon Jovi's "This ain't a love song" and any cheesy love song in a slow lullaby style and they're out), which movie were their favorite as kids (Heavy loved 'Monsters Inc.' and Dee never looked away during 'Meet the Robinsons'), how to console them after nightmares (Heavy needed reassurance, sweet words, and to be with someone until he fell asleep again. Dee just had to be tucked in, get his nightlight turned on and kissed in the forehead). He practically raised those kids along with Vicky and Glam.

More than once, Dee and Heavy have slipped and called Ches "Dad". Ches immediately gets his shit eating grin on and answers "Yes, son?" and does a couple of dad jokes just to mess and embarrass them. He's actually very flattered and surprised at how proud of himself he is for being a father figure to both kids.

Has a scar on the left side of his forehead due to a bottle his mom threw at him when he was younger, around the time he met Glam. He hates the scar with passion, it's a permanent reminder of the fact she never cared, that's why he always keeps it covered with his headband. Gets sad about it sometimes.

Ches likes to spend his time with a group of grannies of the nearby nursing home. He genuinely considers them his friends and gossips and hangs out with all of them on weekends. Bingo, billiards, walks in the park, soap opera marathons, you name it. I even designed them, gave them names and backstories... God, i just love the concept too much. I'll make some art about Ches and his granny gang FOR SURE, you're NOT ready for them.

Carries a pocket knife on him at all times. This man grew up on a bad neighborhood and absolutely knows how to defend himself, he can be intimidating when he wants to be and will pose a threat if needed. He's fucking terrifying when genuinely mad. Just cause he looks harmless doesn't mean he is, darling.

That would be all!

#metal family #glam metal family #ches metal family #victoria metal family #chess metal family #dee metal family #heavy metal family #metal family glam #metal family victoria #metal family dee #metalfamily #metal family heavy

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conservativetranny · 3 years

Text

2020 blog update

Hello. No idea if any of you ‘remember’ me but I do seem to have a fair few followers on here. I managed to access the login information for this account and it is safe to say this blog is dead. I denounce everything I stood for on this stupid shit.

I’m writing this because it’s what the blog deserves. Not looking to be dramatic, not looking for sympathy, in fact I think i’ll get a bit of backlash for this but bring it on.

The past and the present- a summary

I had this blog when I was 14, unfortunately way too young to have a social media presence (one which carried any responsibility like this one anyway). No matter what age I said I was, no matter how I portrayed myself or how you, my followers interpreted me, I was a sad young trans guy desperately hoping to look big, cool, masculine and stoic, and that manifested in the most toxic way possible.

I’m 17 now, still very very young, and after developments in my life, especially pursuing my medical transition and becoming happy within myself, I no longer hold such toxic beliefs as I once did. I am happier with myself and no longer feel the need to sacrifice others’ dignity, respect, and unfortunately sometimes on this blog, privacy, for my own. I was a very insecure, stubborn, and ignorant teenager, who dealt with a lot of denial. I’m not blaming the way I treated people online on other factors, but of course external factors came into play. I was dealing with bullying and insecurity, with parental problems, and with loneliness and depression. I seeked some sort of community, and I wanted to push myself away from the ‘weak’ trans community (the way I viewed it at the time). I wasn’t in denial personally, with the fact that I was trans (being gay is a different story- I was in complete denial with the fact that I’m gay), more just with the way other people viewed me (I will expand on this). I could elaborate on the way in which I viewed other people and the way that projected onto my conduction online, but it is a complex and confusing story. I have completely changed my viewpoint on trans ‘discourse’, I am open minded, I am close friends with people I would have turned my ignorant nose up at years ago. I am so proud to say that I am a completely different person now. I grow every day, it seems, and I can assure that I will never return to this ignorant mindset.

Growth

With experience, I have grown too. Obviously, from 14-17 i have become more mature. I have different experiences now as well, for example, I don’t bind often at all really anymore, because its more comfortable and can sometimes make me more dysphoric to know I am binding. I’m bringing this up because I bet you back when I was active on this blog, I would’ve laughed at the more mature, tolerant me, and probably went on a tyrade about how I was a fake trans guy or less of a man for not binding. I often wonder what ‘old me’ would think of ‘new me’. Now obviously, three years isn’t a hell of a big difference, but to a 17 come 18 year old it is. I understand I am not an adult yet, but I’ve always taken pride in conducting myself with a sense of maturity and articulacy, and for this post and platform especially I feel it is appropriate.

The Truscum Mindset

Back when I ran this blog, I was in an echo chamber of like minded people, which didn’t help my ideological development. I watched youtubers like Blaire White and Kalvin Garrah, who I thought gave me a balanced, moderate, and fair opinion which is clear is not the case. Back then I would’ve scoffed at the idea of Blaire and Kalvin and other similar people as being radical or a gateway, but I urge you, if you feel you are slipping to obsession with those ideologies, to seek to widen your opinions and associations. I understand it’s a fairly niche discourse topic, but for me it opened a wider rabbit hole into the alt right. From wanting to fit into the lgbt and wider communities as a masculine male, this opened up the black hole of the alt right, I browsed (now deleted) subreddits and 4chan boards, and forums that put me in a very negative and dangerous place. If you’d like me to make a post elaborating on this, I am more than happy to, but this post is to address conservativetranny.

Denial and owning up to responsibility

Back in 2017/18, I was very much in denial of certain aspects of myself, especially my sexuality. I am gay. I thought that this was, and especially as a trans guy, a demasculating quality. I still deal with those feelings sometimes, as a lot of young gay guys do, but thankfully it does not manifest itself as toxic as it once did. I just wanted to portray myself online as how I thought I wanted to be viewed-I didn’t want to be viewed like ‘any other trans guy’. I wanted to be different, but now I can appreciate individuality and I can also embrace being trans as well.

I used to think that having alt views was the coolest thing ever, which contributed to my slip into the alt right, something on which I’ll elaborate on in later posts. I am now an advocate for deradicalisation, and being rational, truly rational. I’m also an advocate for maturity and owning up to your mistakes.

I have hurt people, especially in my personal life, throughout my time as a stupid, thoughtless immature teenager and i am sorry, from the bottom of my heart, for that. I now respect the hell out of those people and unfortunately, but definitely rightfully so, they have lost their respect for me. I don’t blame them, because as I said, up until very recently I was a horrible, toxic person. With maturity, in the past half a year I have been able to own up to my mistakes and I am now taking responsibility for that. No excuses, because I was a shitty person. Of course there is a line between excuses and justification, and I hope those which are reading this can distinguish and appreciate this difference.

Self Hatred and Truscum

Back when I ran this blog, it was very easy to tell I was self hating. Everything I wrote on here, pretty much, was hateful except for the odd two posts that were about something unrelated to my ideology. I was extremely dysphoric and in a bad place when I wrote these things and certainly projected my insecurities onto others. I wanted to find a community of different thinking people that would accept me, and this community was certainly the wrong turn. I had a feeling that it was wrong at the time, but I was too naive and cowardly to own up to it and seek a way out. I kind of just naturally fell out of it, a a lot of things happened in my personal life in late 2018 that forced me out of trans discourse and into much more toxic places like the alt right and true crime fandoms, and I think I’ve only recently ‘found myself’ in the past year or so. I might make a post on self growth on the future as I intend to keep this blog to elaborate and voice my opinions on deradicalisation and highlight the importance of owning up and self awareness.

Don’t fall into the rabbithole

I’m not too acquainted with trans discourse anymore, so I’m out of the loop on this one, but I’d imagine that there’s still ‘transmed vs tucute’ ideas. Kalvin Garrah’s community comes to mind, I haven’t watched his videos ‘as a fan’, if that makes sense, for a while now but I am aware he has a large fanbase of young trans teens that were in a similar mindset to where I was back when I ran this blog. I would love for this post to reach his opposers and supporters for that matter, as a means to show them that they don’t have to fall into this cycle of hate which can be very damaging. I used to be an avid fan of Kalvin, and Blaire White, amongst others. I watched exclusively their content alone and formed my opinions around theirs. If you’re doing that now, I urge you to consider other people when you do. Think about the people like Brennan Beckwith, people who were severely impacted and hurt by hateful rhetoric. Those people are human too, and with maturity you will learn that people with different experiences and views are, at the end of the day, the same as you, and they have feelings as well .I’m going to make a post in the future about Kalvin Garrah, certainly, but maybe Blaire White as well.

Why now?

You may be wondering why this post is being made now of all times, and that is a question that has every right to be asked. I feel as if this timing is right because I finally possess the level of maturity needed to own up to my mistakes and tell you that I was wrong and it was certainly wrong to post those opinions and mistakes online for all to see, and put people in my real life on blast like I did.

I had completely forgotten about this blog, and forgot about the rude and ignorant words I had written towards the people in my real life, until chance had it that I was in contact with one of the people mentioned in this post. [https://conservativetranny.tumblr.com/post/169351517511/no-one-pretends-to-be-trans]

I’m not going to go into the nuances of the conversation we had, but it turns out they had, for a while and definitely rightfully so been hurt by the fact that I had mentioned them, by name, in this post. And while I’d of course still like to keep these people anonymous and will not sacrifice their anonymity in order to tell a story or ‘save myself’, this post is quite funny to read back on as I am good friends with the people referred to as ‘P’ and ‘Shadow’ now.

This is the end of this post, as I feel I have said everything I have wanted to say regarding my previous conduct on this blog. I’m going to change my name on this blog and my bio as I do intend on further posts in the future. I’m not sure how many people, if any, this post will reach, but I’m satisfied I have written this anyway. I certainly do plan on writing future posts but I’m not exactly sure how to formulate them. But thank you so much for reading this far, and if you have, I appreciate it.

#truscum #transmed #ftm #trans #dysphoria #kalvin garrah #kalvin garbage #terf #deradicalisation #i have literally no idea how to tag this #tucute #do people even say that anymore lol

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yekistraight · 3 years

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Hey, could you explain what being a feminist means? I’ve heard all these terms before, and there’s this huge stigma around it. So do you think there’s a way you could clarify at least what your beliefs are, and what you believe it to be? I’m simply trying to study stuff and see what it’s become or is. Thank you.

Sorry I wrote so much i just wanted to make it comprehensive:

General definition of feminist is someone who believes in the socio-economic equality of the sexes. In the beginning this was a straightforward ideology to follow. Women needed to be equal to men. It’s only fair, there’s no reason not to be. But sharing power is not something the ruling majority particularly enjoys so there’s been some bumps in the road. Decades and decades of bumps.

The feminists of the past started this push a long time ago with one message: “we want to be taken seriously, we are humans too and we need rights that benefit us and protect us from you[men]” and they were right. Sex based crimes against women were happening at an alarming rate. So much so that it had become part of some cultures and traditions, meaning it would be defended and men would be protected while women basically died, physically and socially. Women lived in fear and helplessness, being sold a dream of subservience promoted by religion and ego in exchange for protection from men. What about the women that still, despite the odds, wanted to choose a different path? Well, they were brave enough to step out of line and others followed. They exist throughout history, inspiring other women will their bravery and confidence, proving that it was possible to have the power and authority that men had. Now imagine giving every woman that access to power? They’d have everything right? Well feminism didn’t start like that (it was racially exclusive actually) but fortunately the ideologies spread out through cities, across oceans and into continents where women wanted, no, NEEDED such power; the power to change their destinies that had been set upon them by another mere human being.

So feminism is like a sisterhood, where we’re only related by a common goal to protect each other while trying to defeat our common enemy. Here’s where the simplistic ideology begins to mutate based on strategy and cultural progression.

Feminism is a sisterhood, but not a monolith. There’s been different waves (eras) of feminism where each sisterhood used different tactics to achieve their goals for equality. Its like making a new checklist after the old one gets checked off. However there’s been one item that still needs a lot of work before ticking off and that’s dismantling gender roles. Gender roles are the root cause of every.single.thing. Toxic masculinity, performative femininity. Gender roles were created to control humans and keep them in their place. For a feminist to push her way into male dominated spaces, she must first acknowledge that gender roles have been constructed to work against her and break through it. So take note, everything is the way it is because of gender roles.

In this era, the sisterhood has been split into two major groups, two warring tribes if you will: libfems and radfems.

Liberal Feminists accept everyone. They use the tactic of assimilation, where they water down feminist ideologies to make it inclusive for everyone. They follow the lead of oppressed minorities who reclaimed slurs and instead reclaim methods tused to oppress women that past waves of feminists fought to dismantle. Remember what I said about gender roles? These women are bringing it back and think they’re reclaiming it. How do you reclaim something that hasn’t been dismantled yet?The only power they’re concerned with is the feeling of superiority that comes from thinking bowing down to the patriarchy is their idea. Their feminism tackles issues like rape, victim blaming and misogyny, things that affect them personally, while taking on the burden of other marginalised groups as their own, pushing their own goals to the backseat while feeling a self-righteous high. Basically, they’re activists who have lost the plot but would keep pushing blindly than admit it. The second group was born from libfems that wanted more than a feel good pat on the back from the patriarchy for not being too interfering.

Radical feminists are still following the original objective of their predecessors. They still have their eyes open to sex-based oppression and are aware there’s still a lot of work to be done. They don’t put the opposite sex’s needs above their own or let other group’s ideologies influence theirs and because of this, other groups as well as libfems have dubbed them as enemies to progress. Ironic isn’t it? The group that still fights for sexual equality has been silenced by none other than their own. Of course hatred for this group of feminists didn’t come out of nowhere. Radfems and their female-only values are presumed to hurt trans women, as trans women are biologically male and don’t have the same sex based experiences as biological women. Trans activists took these as transphobic fighting words and ostracised radfems, silencing them and their ideologies, claiming that everything they fought for was an attack against the trans community. Conservative americans also share some radfem values, basically the one on keeping the movement focused on female only issues, and because the right is notoriously bigoted (ironic because conservatives are the ones who uphold the gender roles feminists fight against so a conservative feminist is paradoxical) this is enough to tell people that radfems can’t be trusted. That they’re all racist, transphobic white supremacists. Because all groups that share similar ideologies are bad. The public, not wanting to be on the Unpopular Opinion side of history, shifted away and further pushed radfems into the background while libfems and their blind acceptance values were hailed as the patron saints of feminism.

So what feminism was and what it is now are vastly different. It started as a movement in different countries with different goals, then it graduated and took on more serious topics. It was like a game where every level gets tougher to prepare you for that last boss, the one who holds all the power you need to physically change your reality.

Today in the year 2021, young girls are being told that it’s feminist to enjoy selling their bodies for money. That it’s the same as working in a mine (a common comparative statement). That it’s feminist to look as womanly as the gender roles men created dictate. That it’s feminist to watch porn and be happy your romantic partner watches it to; this means you’re sexually liberated. Grown women go to Tiktok full of minors in the style of pimps to show off stacks of money they’ve made from pleasing men. They say “i did it because i wanted to and so should you”. Minors are all over twitter trying to lure men with financial dominatrix tags. They can’t wait till they become legal to start selling their nude bodies to men. They were told it would make them feel powerful. People who are skeptical are shamed into silence, because the popular crowd is always in control and no one wants to be the odd one out.

Now compare that to women who spend time researching horrifying news of sexual violence still happening today. Women still having to sell themselves to survive in 2021 is a clear indicator that we’re still not taken seriously. Sex buying, pimping and displaying women as commodities is the reason little girls are being stolen off the streets and shipped off to a disgusting dreg who think he’s owed sexual satisfaction.

Radfems want to end child sex trafficking, sex slavery, wedding night virginity checks, honour killings, femicide, sewing up little girls vaginas to avoid them exploring their sexuality before their wedding night and bring attention to way more hardcore shit being run by top dogs who are cooperating with the old powers that influence the governments.

Whose side do you think the media will be on? Whose side is worth not risking ruffling feathers?

Feminism has become many things now. You can choose the one that reminds you of the cruelty of man or the one that creates a comfortable fantasy of false empowerment while women’s violence continues. Both get stigmatised anyway.

If it wasn’t obvious already, I’m a radical feminist.

I’m an autistic radfem living in a backwards country where the lgbt community can’t thrive so there’s no pride parades, no trans movement, nothing that can be publicised anyway. I can’t create a fantasy where everything works because nothing works. Women are dying around me everyday for being female, my best friend is trapped with an abusive father who hates her for being a female firstborn (something babies get killed for), I’m not worthy of basic respect without a husband, a poor woman from a muslim state gets death threats from her fellow muslims for wearing a backless top while a rich married one gets praised and women can’t apply for anything important without a man’s permission.

Now why on earth would i want to pamper the gender that made and uphold those laws? The battle here is still greatly a battle of the sexes. Despite this stale level of progress, our movement, like many others have allies. Male allies are great, allies are great, we need them to push buttons yes but also remember they can never fully understand what we feel. All they can do is try their best to help and in return we give them acknowledgement and support; so no we’re not supposed to be misandrists or transphobes. We just hate anyone who uplifts what we and our ancestors have been fighting to destroy.

That’s all

#radfems do interact #radical feminism #feminism #terf

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delusionland · 3 years

Text

* CURRENT WISHLIST.

young heroes growing into young adults.

you’re too old to understand yourself and where you’re supposed to be right now, you thought you’d be dead by 17. you still might be dead before 30.

(avengers academy crew, young avengers crew, conner / cass / cassie / steph / jason, runaways).

dealing with mental illness, dealing with coming out, dealing with mentors not being as good as you thought they were when you were 12, dealing with being alive & being in love & being not in love, always, with yourself and what you’ve become.

potential plots: “is it possible to do therapy? what do you do to cope with all this” / “god i hate my job. can we just set up a gofundme? maybe a patreon? do you want to set up a patreon for us or like a youtube channel or something for quick cash?” / “my mentor / my found family member is falling apart and i’m trying to keep them together but I’M barely together, please help”

reality bending mental illness.

plots about saving the world are SO pase. i’m over it. how about saving one person? or how about maybe saving one person TO save the world?

( ANY characters just GIVE ME THIS.)

dealing with a reality bending distortion, the raw embodiment of your feelings, your anger, your trauma, and the ways it is stopping your from being a completely realized version of yourself.

potential plots: “i tried to read your mind, now i’m stuck there.” / “YOUR powers have created a vortex / monstrosity that we need to save right now. we don’t know how, and we’re in the middle of a fight righ now, but i’m going to blame YOU for its existence instead of i dont know solving our issues which is the actual root of the vortex / monster” / a character has entered a catatonic state which can only be mended by going inside their head / “we are trapped in an alternate reality where a villain is using our mental hang-ups and trauma to keep us trapped in puzzles that only WE can solve but only FOR each other and thru working together” / “an evil version of me is after you and only you because i care about you so fucking much but i’ve never told you that before and it won’t make any sense to you because we’re either not that close OR i have been trying desperately to push you away even though you’re the only person i care about” / “you have turned the world outside of you into a NIGHTMARE and you don’t even realize it because you’re so trapped in your own routine and pretending everything is normal please face your issues”

disney-based plots that are based around like, high fantasy / ya fantasy.

descendants but aurdon is evil imperalists sucking the fantasy out of the world.

ever after high but the book of destiny is willfully ensnaring children for generations into false identities that make them hate themselves.

raya but raya and namaari have to go around all of the disney worlds to collect the pieces required to summon sisu. raya just wants her father back---namaari is not allowed to let that happen.

kingdom hearts au but the princesses actually effect the world and have to tran to be keyblade masters... idk!

Adults With Depression Being Bad People

adults behaving badly! getting into toxic (not abusive, but toxic) relationships, fucking people they shouldn’t, being good heroes, but also self-sacrificing, suicidal heroes. being bad mentors and parents, to the point of genuinely hurting these kids and their perception of themselves. fucking up, trying to fix it. fucking up, trying to fix it. that’s most of what adult life is and i would LIKE TO SEE IT. adults pushing away the friends they care about---and other adults going ‘NO FUCK YOU I LOVE YOU.’

specific characters i want this with: my steve who doesn’t go to the past and instead does this.

peter b. being a shitty mentor bc of his bipolar disorder, but also getting his shit together.

batman going to THERAPY, his relationshps IMPROVING BC OF THAT, but also he’s still kinda shitty.... people having complex feelings.

AND FINALLY A FEW BASIC THINGS.

solving crimes of serial killers nbc hannibal style & also sexy spying on gangsters in foreign countries and pretending to be rich & classy under deep cover to get close to the mark.... space shenanigans where the guardians basically have the m.o. of the gang from futuraama AND... ALWAYS... KILLING NAZIS

#ooc: wishlist

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thirdbasedumpsterfire · 4 years

Text

Doby vs Toby a comparison Part 1

Alright so as I'm sure many of you know Third base and it’s main character Doby Doggers were originally created as a response to Ticci Toby’s removal from Creepypasta. Doby was created as a respectful yet spiteful way to replace Toby in fan work (His name being a direct correlation, Doby Doggers, Toby Roggers) That was why I latched onto him to begin with. He was also made to fit the role toby filled hence why the story follow the same general beats.

Despite this I don’t talk a lot about Toby on this blog. Partially because Kastoway wants us to forget him and partially because I don’t want to treat Doby like a rip off character. Doby is his own character and in my opinion RJ did a great job at making an original character with a familiar vibe.

Still, as much as I don’t want Toby to define Doby that is where he started. Plus it’s a lot of fun to compare and contrast the two of them and their stories. So that’s what I'm here to do. Strap in because this’ll be a long one.

Quick disclaimer I’ll be stating a lot of my personal opinion in this. If Toby still means a lot to you thats great, but spoiler alert I prefer Doby’s story.

Also this will obviously spoil both stories as I'll be discussing every aspect of the characters and their stories including the endings.

TW for Suicide, Death, Car accidents, Mental illness, Nightmares, Paranoia, Hallucinations, Child Abuse, Drinking, Murder, Arson, Psychosis, Transphobia, Dysphoria, Ableism

There’s a lot to compare between these two stories so let’s start with their stories.

STORY

Tragedy & Sibling Relationship

Both stories start with tragedy and the first shared element between them. Both stories center around a close sibling relationship torn apart but death.

For Toby that was his older sister Lyra. She died in a car crash that Toby was also in. Lyra isn’t given much character (which is a recurring problem in Toby’s story) but it’s clear that she and Toby were very close. He loved his sister more than anything and she was his only friend.

For Doby it was his older brother John. John committed suicide while living with their mother. Doby lives with his father. We’re told a little about John. He was a painter and collected art from the thrift store, He and Doby would talk for hours about baseball and Doby’s love life. We know they were very close even after their parents divorce.

The most interesting difference between the two in this aspect is the difference in situation. Toby was bullied into homeschooling and his father was very abusive. As a result he didn’t have any outside friends. He also didn’t have any other family relationship as he saw his mother as a coward for how she took the abuse and obviously hated his father. This made Lyra his only friend and only human to interact with. There was also a difference in the type of trauma her death gave him. Toby has CIP-A which means he can’t feel pain so when the crash happened he didn’t pass out on impact he was conscious and saw his sisters injuries. He watched her die.

Doby by comparison was in a fairly normal environment. His parents were divorced but beyond that he had a typical upbringing. He and John were more organically close. Johns death was a different type of trauma because it was suicide. Suicide is a different thing to a car crash. both are sudden but one I more preventable than the other. Suicide leaves those left behind feeling responsible or at very least looking for somewhere to place the blame. Doby blamed his mother’s refusal to help John and her narcissistic attitude for Johns death.

Parents and Family Relationship

this is the key difference between the two. Toby has been abused for years, he is still in an abusive situation, and just lost his sister. He was beyond traumatized to begin with so it’s no surprise he was so easy to push over the edge.

Doby by comparison had a normal childhood. His mother was terrible and verbally abusive but she was removed from the picture when he was young. He also grew up trans and that certainly affected him but his father, brother, and friends accepted him giving him a good support system.

Toby and Doby both had abusive parents but Toby was kept in that environment his entire life whereas Doby got out of it young. That is the main difference between the two.

Even when it came to the “good parents” Toby had his mom who was complicit in his abuse. Doby at least had a supportive and loving father.

Slenderman

Of course both story’s incorporate Slenderman as a key plot point. Both characters are Proxies.

Slenderman is not mentioned by name in either (why would he be)but his representation differs in an interesting way.

Toby’s story describes him as an image we as Creepypasta fan are familiar with, a tall pale man in a suit standing under a streetlamp. This can be attributed to the time it was written back in slendervers’s hay day. His affect on toby is quite extreme. Toby suffers hallucinations, vivid night terrors, extreme paranoia, extreme dissociation, an allure towards arson, and of course homicidal tendencies. He show’s severe PTSD symptoms as well.

Toby’s problems go as far as seeing his dead sister with horrible injuries during a night terror. Despite his situation his mother get’s worried enough to take him to a psychologist.

Doby however, never really directly sees or describes Slenderman. The story takes advantage of our knowledge as creepypasta fans much like Toby’s. Except now we don’t even need explicit description all we need is the connection to the woods and the knowledge of Doby’s connection to Toby’s story to recognize the monster of the story.

Doby’s decent is also a lot more subtle as well. It’s little things that eventually lead to the ending. Most of the focus is on him mourning John. He thinks endlessly about it and disassociates as a coping mechanism. Eventually he begins having night terrors. They aren’t outright threatening at first but just the prospect of losing his brother over and over again pushes him to lose sleep. Doby doesn’t suffer hallucinations either (which is rare in slenderverse) He is sleep deprived and deals with intrusive homicidal thoughts about his mother.

Murder

Toby and Doby both murder their abusive parents in the end and set the house on fire before running off into the woods. Beyond that the circumstances behind the murders differ greatly.

If Toby were to have been tried in court he would have been charged with Voluntary Manslaughter if he wasn’t found not guilty by reason of insanity. I believe he likely would be. this is because Toby didn’t plan to kill his father. He certainly meant to be it was a crime of passion. He killed in the heat of a moment of rage.

The reason I say he would be found not guilty by reason of insanity is because of the severity of his mindset. Toby is a true proxy through and through he was not in control when killing his dad. He wasn't not in control when he set the neighborhood on fire either. Toby was completely dissociated. He certainly meant to kill and wouldn't regret it but he was gone when the killing happened.

If Doby were tried in court he would have been found guilty of First Degree Murder. Doby planned to kill his mom and that’s the key difference between the two murders. He wasn't set off in a fit of rage, he was cold and calculated. He broke in, made sure she couldn't get to the phone, broke plates to get her downstairs, and hid in the dark until she was within a bat swings distance. He was very there unlike Toby. Doby absolutely knew what he was doing.

That’s the difference. Toby wanted to kill his dad but wasn't in control. Doby wanted to kill his mom and did the only influence Slenderman needed was getting him to go through with it.

Endings

The last thing I’ll talk about in this post is the ending of both stories.

At the end of Toby’s story his mom walks in on him having killed his dad. In a panic he runs outside and lights the neighborhood on fire before presumably dying. Then we step into his mother point of view as she move in with he sister. she’s mourning the loss of her family when she sees a report of a serial killer on the loose that is presumed to be her son.

Doby’s story ends much more open-ended. He smashes his moms head to a pulp before lighting her house on fire. he walks out with tears in his eyes and calls Johns voicemail telling his brother that he’s coming home before walking out to the woods.

I think these endings sum up very well the differences between these two characters and their stories. Ticci Toby is a horror. Third Base is a tragedy. sure they each have a hint of the other but they are mainly those things. That difference is in everything from the tone, to the character development, to the motivation, to of course the endings.

In the next post I'll compare and contrast the characters themselves so stay tuned~

~ Mod Vilet

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jadelotusflower · 4 years

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September Roundup

So it wasn’t a very productive month, writing wise. I think I wrote less than 1000 words due to various RL issues (a shoulder impingement giving me grief among other things). I can’t entirely blame that, but nor am I going to dwell. It’s my birthday tomorrow, and while I’m having the usual existential crisis about another year slipping by almost unnoticed and without significant accomplishment, I am resolved to return to my novel and get at least the first draft finished by the end of the year. We’ll see how that goes.

In the meantime, I’ve at least been reading more. I’ve also consumed too much film/tv instead of writing, but hey.

The Testaments by Margaret Atwood - the long-awaited sequel to The Handmaid’s Tale, this was an engrossing read, if perhaps not what people were expecting. While I agree with some of the criticism, I really enjoyed this book.

Like the original novel, it takes the form of primary sources from the rule of Gilead, in Aunt Lydia’s secret chronicle, and “witness testimony” from two young women - one who grew up within Gilead, and the other outside. It’s fairly obvious from the beginning who they are, but I’ll avoid spoilers. Events become a little convenient towards the end, but it’s a great improvement on the tv show’s third season where things just became ludicrously easy and consequence free. I don’t think Atwood will ever write again in this world, but there is still so much to explore and I hope she does.

Henry VIII and the Men Who Made Him by Tracy Borman - As far as Tudor biographies go, there’s nothing much new here, but it is an interesting character study of Henry VIII through the men who had the greatest influence on him, especially as a young despot in the making. Through this lens it really does become just so shockingly clear that with a few exceptions, almost everyone of importance in Henry’s life goes through the same cycle of being built up, brought close, and rewarded, but then cast aside or crushed by his unchallenged power and narcissism - and often on very flimsy pretext.

Top End Wedding - I love a romcom, and this was really charming - it’s now on Netflix so I highly recommend. Starring and co-written by Miranda Tapsell, and directed by Wayne Blair (who also directed The Sapphires - a must see if you haven’t), it’s a film that shows great love to classic American and British romcoms (and the tropes are all there), but also uniquely Australian (Tapsell and Blair are both Indigenous, and care was taken to liaise with the Aboriginal communities where filming took place to ensure that proper approvals were given and and respect paid to the traditional owners). The backdrop of the Northern Territory is just beyond gorgeous, and this just the kind of heartwarming fare needed in these Trying Times (TM).

Bill and Ted Face the Music - As is this! I’ve loved the first two Bill and Ted movies since I was a kid, and was so happy that they’ve finally completed the trilogy. Look, it’s not high art, and you’d be forgiven for thinking this is just another cash grab off the sequel-reboot merry go round, but this was made with such clear love and affection for the originals that I just don’t care.

Here’s the thing: I hate an unnecessarily reboot as much as the next person - I don’t think there’s any point remaking something unless you have something new to say about the material. I also hate the “bleakquel” - where the only idea to follow up the original material is to tear it down just to rebuild it the same but without the heart (looking at you Star Wars). However, I am a sucker for the follow up/sequel just to catch up with those characters you love and see how they’re doing 10, 20, 30 years later. It’s familiar, it’s comforting, and sometimes that’s all it needs to be. Really, that’s all B&T FTM is, but I was perfectly satisfied by it.

Maybe there’s nothing more this film has to say than Be Excellent to Each Other (again), but honestly that’s a message I think we all need right now. There’s of course more to it than that - for the first time, we see a Bill and Ted who have become disillusioned that despite mastering so many different forms of music, they haven’t found The Song that will align the planets and bring out world peace etc, despite their most valiant attempts (That Which Binds Us Through Time: The Chemical, Physical and Biological Nature of Love: An Exploration of the Meaning of Meaning, Part 1 is a neat joke but also a legitimate banger complete with throat singing, a theremin, and bagpipes). And SPOILERS: In the end they discover honestly the only possible answer: that The Song itself doesn’t matter, it’s the world united through music, playing together, that brings everything into balance.

Does all the time travel work within the established rules of the universe? Not really - we see alternate Bill and Teds of the future without any explanation of alternate timelines. Are Samara Weaving (as Thea Preston) and Brigette Lundy-Paine (as Billie Logan) essentially doing impression of Winters and Reeves? Sure, but they are so charming that I don’t care.

Now, there are some obvious holes - covid made reshoots/pickups impossible so the opening “where are they now” montage got nixed, there was clearly more story for Elizabeth and Joanna (”the Princesses”) that is sadly missing, and the ending is very abrupt, but circumstances being what they are I can see why they decided to work with what they had and release the film, which is an antidote to the current, depressing state of the world, and at least in my view, a worthy third and final part of the Bill and Ted trilogy. (But I wouldn’t say no to a time-travel through music history show with Billie and Thea).

Disclosure (dir. Sam Feder) - a fantastic documentary exploring the representation of trans people in film and television, which sadly has often vacillated between lack of representation to misrepresentation, but with hope that things are slowly improving. A really worthwhile watch.

Enola Holmes (dir. Harry Bradbeer) - Twas charming! I hadn’t read (or even heard of) the YA books this is based on, and am uninterested in Stranger Things, but found this very entertaining and Millie Bobby Brown delightful in the title role. There was also a nice balance in the supporting cast, in that they resisted the urge to stack the decks too high in Enola’s favour, or make all the characters around her completely incompetent so she’s only heroic by default. She is clever and accomplished, but also finds that practicing jiu-jitsu is very different to an actual fight against someone trying to kill her.

Fleabag (seasons 1-2) - I never want to be too harsh on movies or tv that have been hyped to the heavens, because expectations are always too high and are rarely met. I liked this show, but did find all the smug asides and looks to camera a little grating in the first season. I enjoyed the second season a lot more, because while Fleabag was still a screw up, she wasn’t stealing money from her date’s wallet level terrible, so there was more of an emotionally satisfying arc (+ Andrew Scott who is always great), and I felt the humour was pitched a bit better. Olivia Coleman was the standout for me (isn’t she always?) as the Godmother, whose smiling, passive-aggressive villainy was masterful and worth watching for that alone.

Lucifer (seasons 1-2) - This show has crossed my tumblr dash for years, but I’m not really fond of crime procedurals. I am fond of mythology so seeing as the whole thing’s now on Netflix I decided to give it a go, and I have to say I am intrigued by the concept of the devil as a wayward son whose punishment for rebelling against God was to spend eternity punishing others, rather than straight-up evil incarnate. So far the procedural side of things is ho hum, but I am enjoying the mythology side, and Tom Ellis is very very handsome. I’m also pleasantly surprised at the number of female characters in the main and supporting cast and their treatment - they are actually allowed to talk and be friends with one another. Can you believe?!?

#roundup #personal #reading watching writing #september roundup

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lucidpantone · 4 years

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Just been catching up on your latest asks and gossip and I find the Moyo split social media/cut clips stuff you were talking about so so interesting.

Like if they decided to ditch stuff I would normally assume it was because of the reaction they were seeing from fans and they’d try and adjust to placate us. But our reaction was about the choice of Romi/Kato and the flaws with herrrr so why you’d try and fix that by cutting the stuff with the character we’d all wanted to see is beyond me 🤷🏼‍♀️

Maybe it was less about reactions and more about trying to fashion a more coherent plot with one focus and get in depth with that instead, but hey they didn’t do that either sooo no idea!

similar anon: May fav part about the influencer apology is that wtfock is so out of touch that they actually think that they work when an influencer sits down and fakes sincerity and regret. Also kato still hasn’t owned her own mistakes and actions, she continue to blame it on others. She legit hasn’t grown as a character at all and it’s sad that the writers are so out of touch they can see these major plot and character issues.

similar anon: Can you tell anything about those really really weird and annoying instagram captions? Like when they were trying so hard to force us to ship kato and moyo, and even did a selection for them with hearts and things like that? Was that something the production told the interns to do? 'cause it was extra cringy, like there's nothing more awkward when you have to beg people to ship two characters.

Lets talk about the whole social approach after the cut

I feel like the whole social media approach this season was fucking bizarre. I think in their minds they had this whole super interactive social approach with the influencer apology and broerrs vlogs and dancing moyo clips in essence they did but they never followed through with any angle. Its like kato’s tik tok what happened? Moyo was posting a ton of dance clips before the season began and then he stopped? but why wasnt he promoting the competition on his insta? he post dance stuff all the time so that was weird. The broerrs plot about being more active in the vlogs didn't happen until the season was at the end but the broerrs/dance collab was like ep2/3 so we went weeks with no vlogs. Everything would get set up and nothing was followed through with. Same with Kato being an influencer I wouldn't haven't minded the influencer angle if she was an actual influencer doing lives, posting non-stop, doing dumb tik tok videos. For her to be an influencer they needed to flood all her social threads to make it feel realistic but they obviously stop posting about her because the fandom hated her so then whatever plan they had they changed out to be more moyo centric/squad post which felt really odd because Kato’s whole plot was being an influencer so they took the one plot device away they assigned to her. I personally dont think the writer and the social team sat together to outline the plot from a clip pov and social pov which is so dumb because thats literally SKAM (trans media and all). Like i said this B team had no idea what they were doing or they just got so overwhelmed they didn't know how to respond to the fandom. Also the fact that wtfock actually thought we should ship kato and moyo after she accused him of crime, racially profiled him, spread rumors about him and constantly reminded him how she was doing him a favor by dating him. Wtfock really played themselves didn't they........dumbs dumbs they were.

#lucidpantone anons

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a-queer-seminarian · 5 years

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Edited March 30, 2020

__________

currently thinking about how Jesus’ entrance into Jerusalem was hailed and celebrated by the people -- how they shouted “hosanna,” an exclamation of adoration and praise; how they waved palms and spread their cloaks for his arrival........and then turned on him. let the Romans take him and torture him and brutally execute him.

and how because this happened to Jesus, he knows intimately what it feels like when similar things happen to us. when we are welcomed at first and then, when we fail to meet expectations, we are vilified and thrown out -- Jesus gets it. God really, truly, has been there.

a Black woman is employed by a church as part of a diversity initiative, and is welcomed by all -- until she starts pointing out things that need to change, pervasive issues of racism and misogyny and cissexism that should be addressed. excitement sours into resentment, openness into anger; she is ostracized, treated rudely, isolated until the environment becomes so toxic she leaves. she is blamed for the way things “didn’t work out.”

parents promise their son their love is unconditional; he grows up hearing the promise to “love him no matter what.” but these parents are also not quiet about making their anti-gay views known. he has to wonder -- will that unconditional love survive him going out?

a trans person comes out to their loved ones, who express support, a willingness to learn and a promise to work on the new name and pronouns. but months pass by and those loved ones are still misgendering them and growing more and more frustrated, not at themselves but at the trans person -- “Why are you making life so hard?” “Why can’t you just be normal?” “Why would you even want to change your body like that?”

a congregant comes out to her pastor and some of the elders of the church, who respond with compassion and a promise that she’ll always be welcome at the church. the congregant is relieved, and even emboldened to bring her girlfriend to church a few weeks later. but the pastor and some church members confront her, horrified -- “you can’t hold hands with another woman in a place of God!” “This is not okay! If you’re going to act on your desires, we will have to take severe action.” She realized that when the pastor promised her welcome, he’d assumed she would remain “celibate”...she goes home disillusioned brokenhearted. Church will never feel safe again, she tells her girlfriend.

i and people i love dearly have lived through some of these scenarios, and that kind of pain seeps into your psyche and nests in your bones.

but i do find comfort in knowing that my God has been there too -- that the God who throughout the scriptures professed to know, really know the pain and suffering of Their people (e.g. Exodus 3:7) did experience it firsthand. it breaks my heart that Jesus, whom i love, knows this pain too....but it also brings me comfort. because he gets it -- he really, really gets it.

and the God who knows, who sees, who feels with us, is a God whose power is compassion, suffering with and being moved to act -- God does not leave us alone when faith communities abandon us; God shares our pain when others afflict us; and God will act to make things right.

as we enter Holy Week, i plan to meditate more on Jesus’ pain -- the pain of rejection, of having loved ones turn on you, of being handed over to torture and death -- and offer my deepest gratitude for that ultimate act of solidarity with all whom the world rejects and tortures.

thank you, Jesus. you share our suffering always -- give me the courage to try to share your suffering with you, so that i may be moved to act for all who suffer today.

________________

So. I wrote this little reflection during Holy Week last year. We are now approaching Holy Week once again. I will be preaching (via the internet) at my home church this Palm Sunday, and so naturally I remembered, “Oh, I wrote a little something about Palm Sunday before, let’s dig that up and see if it was any good!”

I re-read what I wrote below, and was aghast. embarrassed. ashamed.

Because what I wrote has the same kind of antisemitic tinge to it that has enabled hate crimes against Jewish communities across the centuries.

“But I didn’t say ‘the Jews killed Jesus’ -- I made it clear that Romans are the ones who executed him!!” Sure, but I clearly imply that his Jewish community “let” the Romans kill him; I literally used the language “they turned on him” and rejected him.

When I wrote this piece just last year, I was so sure I was a Good Christian who Knew About The Dangers of Antisemitism In Christianity -- I patted myself on the back for knowing that the Romans are the ones who actually tortured and crucified Jesus. But I wrote this! Even while checking over everything I wrote and thought about Passion Week in particular, being aware of the horrific violent history of this week, this not-even-subtle antisemitic thinking completely flew past me.

What antisemitism continues to lurk in my theology, unchecked?

I think I’m ~so good~ at noticing antisemitism and other dangerous bigotry embedded in my beliefs and language. Clearly, I’m not.

This post spoke to a lot of people, you can see in the comments on it. Last year, I was happy to have moved them with my words. Now, I blush, knowing I let antisemitic thinking spread.

Now, I have no clue how to rethink the Passion narrative that is so central to my faith but so corrupted by antisemitism. How do we read the stories of Jesus being handed over to death without being antisemitic? We can remind the listeners that “The Jews” of Jesus’s days don’t = the Jewish communities that came after them and that continue today. We can remind the listeners that Jesus and his friends were also Jewish, and his was an intra-community struggle. But I don’t think that’s enough.

I have to preach in just six days about Palm Sunday -- a Triumphalist passage if there ever was one! How do I preach it without indicting “the Jews”? Especially now, in this time of pandemic, when people will be expecting my message to be about that very immediate crisis, rather than the timeless crisis of antisemitism in our scripture.

If anyone has articles for me, thoughts for me, I’m all ears. Here are a couple resources I’ve got so far:

I just downloaded an ebook called Jesus Wasn’t Killed by the Jews: Reflections for Christians in Lent

An article about the “Moneychangers in the Temple” that Matthew’s Gospel shows Jesus “driving out” directly after the Palm Sunday scene

A church’s reflection on Passion Week

“A Note on ‘The Jews’ in Palm Sunday’s Passion Reading”

I especially appreciate any Jewish person’s perspective, but don’t expect it -- I know y’all don’t owe me anything. I am deeply sorry for my role in perpetuating antisemitism, and I’m going to be working on doing better.

#palm sunday #jesus #lent #church hurt #god with us #homophobia #transphobia #racism #essays

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