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Ches my one and only bbg

Cather, she/they, 20 and from 🇨🇴. Metal Family, Superjail, TSP, Urusei Yatsura, KsB, TOH.... and a ton more. https://cather08.carrd.co/

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multiples-fandomswontkillme · 3 hours

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Shitpost I conjured instead of drawing

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multiples-fandomswontkillme · 3 hours

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Me when the thing I made to be alive, is alive

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multiples-fandomswontkillme · 3 hours

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Ok- I see a pattern

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multiples-fandomswontkillme · 2 days

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Quite fond of him.

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multiples-fandomswontkillme · 22 days

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this moment will never fail to make me feral bc he gave up!!! till, the boy who rebels even when all it does is get him hurt, the one who burns as brightly as the stars in the sky, the flame that burned for almost two decades finally gave up!!! he snuffed out!! he closed him eyes and stopped fighting!! do you know how devastating that is??

especially to ivan who idolizes and adores him for it?? who has only ever known till for his never-ending love and will that never falters? to see the man he loves broken down like this, a hurt that extends far beyond that of the physical body, but to his soul must’ve been terrible

and you can see it

ivan’s crumpling too. his mental state is on the verge of snapping too. his shoulders are dropped and his eyes are bloodshot.

till’s given up and ivan can see it and as his hands tighten around the other’s neck, a voice whispers what if you don’t let go?

because that’s what till wants right? he isn’t going to win against luka like this. he wants to die and no matter what ivan does, it’s not going to change that. so why not kill him?

that way they can die together.

wouldn’t that be wonderful?

ivan has always had a great potential for darkness and he holds it back most of the time, rarely ever letting it come to the surface. it wouldn’t be far off to assume this was one of those moments—where he was seriously contemplating throwing away his decision to sacrifice himself alone.

but then he gets shot in the chest and the pain snaps him out of it. he remembers why he’s doing this. he remembers his desire to save till, foolish as it may be. the light reappears in his eyes and it’s ivan in love again. it’s ivan swelling with pure love.

it’s ivan doing the one thing he’s never been able to do:

it’s ivan letting go

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multiples-fandomswontkillme · 22 days

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Alien Stage Round 6 Thoughts

Ivan hated that kiss. Ivan hated that he had to resort to forcing himself on Till to save him.

He has always mourned that Till does not look at him but he is also, at the same time, satisfied with the distance of his unrequited love. The fact that he had to close that distance and literally hold Till in his grasp is a testament to how far he is willing to go and how much he is willing to sacrifice for Till.

Ivan broke his own boundaries as much as he broke Till's and he established a connection with Till that risks subjecting him to pain just to save him. Ivan looked down on Sua for leaving behind Mizi all alone with a broken heart and called her actions selfish, but Ivan likely realized that perhaps it is that selfishness that is needed to save his Till.

The deep love that Ivan harbored for so long was only truly realized in an act of sacrifice, by reluctantly taking active steps to have Till see him at the cost of his life and the safety provided to Till by an unrequited love. Ivan pulls Till into his embrace in the form of that sacrifice, telling him, "I am here. Look at me. I love you, so you must live. I'm sorry."

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multiples-fandomswontkillme · 22 days

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The most tragic part of Round 6

For me it's not the IvanTill moments, it's the implication of the post credit scene.

Ivan and Till could have been rescued

Whether or not you ship IvanTill, or maybe always thought Ivan is a total creep. There could have been more to their story.

Ivan's behaviour towards Till could border on uncomfortable sometimes but I also LOVE Ivan because I think it's a very complex interpretation of a character who never learned to process their emotions healthily when stuck in a life of single mindedly striving to achieve one goal.

That's why the fact they might have been able to escape is SO. FUCKING. DEVASTATING.

It's not just "IvanTill could have had time to be free together and in love" but they would have had time and freedom period. They both have an unhealthy unrequited love with another character. Love that maybe only stemmed from being trapped together since childhood, the only things they are taught being to entertain or die.

It could be argued their feelings aren't just a result of their situation, that they would stay the same even if they had the time to live outside of performing on the alien stage, but we will never know.

Maybe Till would realize that Mizi won't love him, maybe Till would realize that Ivan was the one who always wanted to save him, maybe he would finally look at Ivan the way Ivan wanted since the beginning.

Or maybe they wouldn't. Maybe they would be friends, maybe they would continue to stick to their unrequited obsessions and they would never talk to each other again, but at least they would be free to live their own lives.

But Mizi and Hyuna didn't make it in time, so we'll never know.