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lorenfangor · 3 years

Note

I heard that #40 was super homophobic :/ so I skipped it. But now your fic is making me want to give it a try. How problematic is it? Are the characters worth it?

Okay.

Let’s talk about #40.

The plot of The Other (a Marco POV) is that Marco sees an Andalite on a video tape sent in to some Unsolved Mysteries-esque TV show, and he assumes it’s Ax and hauls ass to save him from being captured. Ax, being Ax, has videotaped the show, and they pull it up and Tobias uses his hawk eyes to figure out that it’s not Ax, it’s another Andalite - one without a tailblade. Ax is appalled at the presence of this vecol (an Andalite word for a disabled person) and we find out that he and others of his species have deep ingrained prejudices against at least some kinds of disabled people.

Despite this, Marco and Ax go looking for the Andalite in question because he’s been spotted by national TV, and they meet a second one, named Gafinilan-Estrif-Valad. The vecol is Mertil-Iscar-Elmand, a former fighter pilot with a reputation and Gafinilan’s coded-gay life partner. The two of them have been on Earth since book 1; they crashed their fighters on the planet and have been trapped there thanks to the GalaxyTree going down. Gafinilan has adopted a human cover, a physics professor, and they’ve been living in secret ever since.

Thanks to that tape, Mertil has been captured by Visser Three, and he’s not morph-capable so he can’t escape. Gafinilan wants to trade the leader of the “Andalite Bandits” to the Yeerks to get his boyfriend back; he can’t fight to free Mertil because he’s terminally ill with a genetic disorder that will eventually kill him, and (it’s implied that) the Yeerks aren’t interested in disabled hosts, even disabled Andalite ones. Despite Ax’s ableism, the Animorphs agree to work with Gafinilan and free Mertil, and they’re successful. Marco ends the book talking about how there are all kinds of prejudices you’ll have to face and boxes that people will put you in, and you can’t necessarily escape them even if they’re reductive and inaccurate, but you can still live your life with pride.

So now that I’ve explained the plot, I’m gonna come out the gate saying that I love this book. I love it wholeheartedly, I love Marco’s narration, I love Ax having to deal with Andalite society’s ableism, I love these characters, and as a disabled lesbian I don’t find these disabled gays to be inherently Bad Rep.

that’s of course just my opinion and it doesn’t overshadow other issues that people might have? but at the same time, I don’t like the seemingly-common narrative that this book is all bad all the time, and I want to offer up a different read.To that end, I’m going to go point by point through some of the criticisms and common complaints that I’ve seen across the fandom over the years.

“Mertil and Gafinilan were put on a bus after one appearance because they were gay!”

this is one I’m going to have to disagree with hardcore. I talked about this yesterday, but in Animorphs there are a lot of characters or ideas that only get introduced once or twice and then get written off or dropped - in order off the top of my head, #11 (the Amazon trip), #16 (Fenestre and his cannibalism), #17 (the oatmeal), #18 (the hint of Yeerks doing genetic experiments in the hospital basement), #24/#39/#42 (the Helmacrons’ ability to detect morphing tech), #25 (the Venber), #28 (experiments with limiting brain function through drugs), #34 (the Hork-Bajir homeworld being retaken, the Ixcila procedure), #36 (the Nartec), #41 (Jake’s Bad Future Dream), and #44 (the Aboriginal people Cassie meets in Australia) all feature things that either seem to exist just for the sake of having a particular trope explored Animorphs-style or to feature an idea for One Single Book.

This is a series that’s episodic and has a very limited overall story arc because of how children’s literature in the 90s was structured - these books are closer to The Saddle Club, Sweet Valley High, Animal Ark, or The Baby-Sitters’ Club than they are to Harry Potter or A Series of Unfortunate Events. Mertil and Gafinilan don’t get to be in more than one book because they’re not established in the main cast or the supporting cast, I don’t think that it’s solely got anything to do with their being gay.

“Gafinilan has AIDS, this is a book about AIDS, and that’s homophobic!”

Okay, this is… hard. First, yes, Gafinilan does have a terminal illness. Yes, Gafinilan is gay. No, Soola’s Disease is not AIDS.

I have two responses to this, and I’ll attack them in order of their occurrence in my thought. First, there’s coded AIDS diseases all over genre fiction, especially genre fiction from that era, because the AIDS epidemic made a massive impact on public life and fundamentally changed both how the public perceived illness and queerness and how queer people themselves experienced it. I was too young to live through it, but my dad’s college roommate was out, and my dad himself has a lot of friends who he just ceases to talk about if the conversation gets past 1986 or so - this was devastating and it got examined in art for more reasons than “gay people all have AIDS”, and I dislike the implication that the only reason it could ever appear was as a tired stereotype or a message that Being Queer Means Death. Gafinilan is kind, fond of flowers, and fond of children - he’s multifaceted, and he’s got a terminal illness. Those kinds of people really exist, and they aren’t Bad Rep.

Second off, Soola’s Disease? Really isn’t AIDS. It’s a congenital genetic illness that develops over time, cannot be transmitted, and does not carry a serious stigma the way AIDS did. Gafinilan also has access to a cure - he could become a nothlit and no longer be afflicted by it, even if it’s considered somewhat dishonorable to go nothlit to escape that way. That’s not AIDS, and in fact at no point in my read and rereads did I assume that his having a terminal illness was supposed to be a commentary on homosexuality until I found out that other people were assuming it.

“Mertil losing his tail means he’s lost his masculinity, and that’s bad because he’s gay! That’s homophobic!”

so this is another one I’ve gotta hardcore disagree with, because while Mertil is one of two Very Obviously Queer Characters, he’s not the only character who loses something fundamental about himself, or even loses access to sexual and/or romantic capability in ways he was familiar with.

Tobias and Arbron both get ripped out of their ordinary normal lives by going nothlit in bad situations, and while they both wind up finding fulfillment and freedom despite that, it’s still traumatic, even more for Arbron I’d say than for Tobias. And on a psychological level, none of the main cast is left unmarked or free of trauma or free of deep change thanks to the bad things that have happened to them - they’re no less fundamentally altered than Mertil, even if it’s mental rather than physical. And yes, tail loss is equated with castration or emasculation, but that doesn’t automatically mean Mertil suffering it is tied to his homosexuality and therefore the takeaway we’re intended to have is “Being gay is tragic and makes you less of a man”. This is a series where bad shit happens to everyone, and enduring losses that take away things central to one’s self-conception or identity or body is just part of the story.

Also, frankly? Plenty of IRL disabled people have to grapple with a loss of sexual function, and again, they’re not Bad Rep just because they’re messy.

“Andalite society is confusingly written in this book, and the disability aspects are clearly just a coverup for the gay stuff!”

Andalite society is canonically sexist, a bit exceptionalist and prejudiced in their own favor, and pretty contradictory and often challenged internally on its own norms. In essence, it’s a pretty ordinary society, and they’re really realistic as sci-fi races go. It makes sense from that perspective that Andalites would tolerate scarring or a lost stalk eye or a lost skull eye, but not tolerate serious injuries that significantly impact your perceived quality of life. Ableism is like that - it’s not one-size-fits-all. I look at Ax’s reactions and I see a lot of my own family and friends’ behaviors - this vibes with my understanding of prejudice, you know?

“Mertil and Gafinilan have a tragic ending, which means the story is saying that being gay dooms you to tragedy!”

Mertil and Gafinilan have the best possible ending that they could ask for? They are victims of the war, they are suffering because of the war, they get the same cocktail of trauma and damage that every other soldier gets. But unlike Jake and Tobias and Marco, unlike Elfangor, unlike Aximili? Their ending comes in peace, in their own home. Gafinilan isn’t dying alone, he’s got the love of his life with him. Mertil isn’t going to be as isolated anymore, he’s got Marco for a friend. Animorphs is a tragedy, it’s not a happy story, it’s not something that guarantees a beautiful sunshine-and-roses ending for everyone, and I love tragedy, and so I will fight for this story. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it deserved better. But it’s not less meaningful just because it’s sad. Nobody is entitled to anything in this book, and it’s just as true for these two as it is for anyone else.

“It’s not cool that the only canonically gay characters in this series don’t get to be happy and trauma-free and unblemished Good Rep!”

This is one I can kind of understand, and I’ll give some ground to it, because it is sucky. The only thing I’ll say is that I stand by my argument that nothing that happens to Mertil and Gafinilan is unusual compared to what happens to the rest of the cast, and that their ending is way happier than Rachel and Tobias’s, or Jake and Cassie’s. But it’s a legitimate point of frustration, and the one argument I’ll say I agree has validity.

(Though, I also want to point out that I think there are plenty of equally queercoded characters in the story who aren’t Mertil and Gafinilan - Tobias, Rachel, Cassie, and Marco all get at least one or two moments that signal to me that they’re potentially LGBT+, not to mention Mr. Tidwell and Illim in #29 and their long-term domestic partnership. There’s no reason to assume that the only queer people here are those two aliens when Marco’s descriptions of Jake exist.)

“Marco uses slurs and reduces Gafinilan’s whole identity to his illness!”

Technically, yes, this is true, except putting it that way strips the whole passage of its context. Marco is discussing the boxes society puts you into, the ones you don’t have a choice about facing or escaping. He’s talking about negative stereotypes and reductive generalizations, he’s referring to them as bad things that you get inflicted upon you by an outside world or by friends who don’t know the whole story or the real you. The slurs he uses are real slurs that get thrown at people still, and they’re not okay, and the point is that they’re not okay but assholes are going to call you by them anyway. He ends by saying “you just have to learn to live with it”, and since this is coming from a fifteen-year-old Latino kid who we know is picked on by bullies for all sorts of reasons and who faces racism and homophobia? He knows what he’s talking about. He’s bitter about what’s been said and done, he’s not stating it like it’s a good thing.

Yes, absolutely, this speech is a product of its time, but it’s a product of its time that speaks of defiance and says “We aren’t what we’re said to be,” and in the year this was published? That’s a good message.

tl;dr The Other is good, actually, and Mertil and Gafinilan are incredible characters who deserve all the love they could possibly get.

#animorphs #animorphs meta #mertil/gafinilan #mertil #gafinilan #mertil-iscar-elmand #gafinilan-estrif-valad

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robinrequiems · 3 years

Note

mmm more clishes.... Idk reverse background or personality kind of au? :/

ill do you one better 1 of my favorite mutual, reverse & personality au, they’re the same age bc I have a tiny idea *shy hands*

this is uh. a really long one thay started to lag my phone too

• oh god guys I got vivid memories of ra’s being a good grandfather and I can’t get it out of my head

• i hate it ur honor

• but ok. krypton didn’t get blown up, instead, they all migrated to earth, more specifically kansas.

• the kryptonians are angry and enraged, they are treated as if they are monsters when they arrived peacefully. they tried to kill them.

• so in return, the aliens killed the humans.

• they created a secret underground. that secret underground is to help aliens or meta humans and kill humans.

• all of them hated aliens and sought to destroy them. until kal el found a reporter trying to help aliens who were injured due to an explosion the government did to take out one of their bases.

• kal el.. fell in love with her. lois lane, she is an reporter fighting for alien rights.

• he met with her. in secret. and they.. had formed a connection. an amazing one.

• and then they had a baby.

• at the alien base, but.. she was human and people did not like that. so they wiped her mind and made her believe that they never had a kid. like the last few months.. wasnt real. she had gone missing those months since the aliens didn’t want her trying to hide the baby, they made her believe the last few months was spent in a coma and kal had found her and taken her to a hospital.

• he couldn’t see her anymore. he mourned for her lost presence, but they would have killed her if she stayed.

• but now they had precious jon el. he would be the highlight of their cause.

• they noticed his powers came in faster than kal’s, so they perfected his powers.

• he was going to bring humanity down on order of his grandfather, jor el

• kal saw his son break slowly. loses that childhood innocence that kal tried to maintain.

• his sons amazing bright blue eyes dulling, loses the spark that he cherished.

• kal was going to get him out of there, try to refuge the remaining childhood he had. even if it killed him.

—

• damian wayne! the bright bubbly and prodigal son of bruce and talia wayne ( b & t are married, suck my— ). the press loved him, he was just.. him. he was the baby and was cute, the cutest ever

• he was an expert in martial arts due to the training his grandfather, father, mother, & so much more gave him

• ra’s owns a farm. he’s.. sorry all i get is farm ra’s vibes due to.. something:) think endgame thanos, yk?

• he was the baby robin, one that you never messed with due to the herd of heroes who would come save him

—

• kalel left jon with Lois, a brief note explaining the current situation

• it was weird, jon was ten and was meeting lois for the first time

“Hi, honey.. I’m lois.”

“I know.. Dad told me about you.”

“Oh.. right. What do you want for dinner?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You have to eat.”

“No! I’m not hungry!”

• an explosive, superpower alien. Lois is way out of her head.

• he had outbursts, a lot of them. it was hard, really hard for Lois; she took some time off from the planet and focused on jon

• he broke a lot of stuff. he sometimes could not control his strength, but she was working with him

• but then one night he ran away, or flew away. he felt remorse for making Lois cry. she saw this as a win, but she lost her kid

• but then a little robin found him

“Um. Are you okay?”

“Huh-what- what do you want? Why are you talking to me?”

“Because you look sad? Yknow - hugs make people feel better. My ahki ( brother ) hugs me when I’m upset and it makes me feel better.”

“Don’t touch me.”

*Damian walked to him, smiling softly* “cmon, i won’t hurt you, silly. I’m robin.”

“A bird?”

“Haha- no, a vigilante- i sorta snuck out. My family can be a bit overbearing- and I sorta embarrassed myself at this theater thing.. some person—“

“Did I ask?”

“No.. sorry.”

“Hey— what are you doing - !”

“Hugging you.”

Jon won’t admit that he likes it, it’s different and weird, like this traffic cone in front of him. Jon pushed him off though, making himself stumble and fall on his ass.

“Ow..”

“Don’t touch me.” With rhat, Jon flew off into the night. Damian didn’t know who this boy was. But he intended on finding out. Even if it killed him. ( maybe not that extreme, but- )

• look damian was smart, right? smarter than average, and smarter than everyone in his school. teachers included ( ha ha )

• so he had to find this boy! so he started looking into aliens. until his family put an end to it

“Damian, this is dangerous.”

“But baba ( dad )”

“No. Go to your room.”

“Ugh!”

• he did slam his door shut if you were wondering

• he will find the mysterious alien boy, okay? he will!

• his brothers teased him and said he had a crush

• no he didn’t! the boy was really mean, he pushed damian- why would he do that? whatta jerk!

• but damian did find him again when he ventured off to metropolis to visit an old friend, colin.

“Alien boy!”

“That’s not my name, bird boy.”

“And that’s not mine. You didn’t tell me yours!”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“It’s safer for you.”

“I can defend myself. You sound so silly, please tell me your name?”

“No.”

“‘Least the first initial?”

“Fine. J.”

“J it is.”

“Yours?”

“Wha- what? I told you my code named.”

“It’s only fair.”

“.. Okay. D.”

“D. Okay.”

• damian talked to him for a bit before jon did fly off when damian was talking about the stars, damian knew he was getting closer to him

• but he got grounded. whoops. he wasn’t supposed to go out

“Give me your phone, Damian.”

“What if I go out? I need a phone, baba.”

“I.. Your computer”

“School work.”

“Switch.”

“What! No- but-!”

“Damian.”

• yeah damian was very mad, but what made him madder was that apparently, his family was listening to the secret conversations between J and him. but d didn’t know that yet..

• his family needed to track down J, they didn’t care if people were aliens, the JL had aliens.. but they had no idea who this boy was, and the way damian was looking into the underground alien sanctuary, that worried rhem. Damian was smart and cunning, but he is able to portray an innocent persona, they all had the habit of undermining his intellect, so if damian began looking into this, it was for a reason

—

• jon found that D rambled. A lot. Even when jon didn’t respond. Jon doesn’t even know how D always found where he was. It’s so weird.

• but Lois noticed a change in jon.. he was. calmer. she didn’t know how, but when he went out, he came back calmer.

“I have to go to Gotham for a gala hosted by Bruce Wayne, would you.. like to come?”

“Do you want me to?”

“I’d like you to, but you don’t have to.”

“.. Fine.”

—

• lois walked to bruce with Jon in tow.

• “bruce.” “Lois, looking lovely as always.. who is this?” “Jon, my son. Say hi, Jon.” “Hi..” “He can hang around one of my sons— Damian, if you want? I’m sure him and his friends would love to have Jon around.” “What do you say Jon? Would you like that?” “Not really..” “I assume you, Damian doesn’t bite. Not anymore. And he’s pretty accepting.” “.. Fine.”

• damian was called over by his father and he did a double take. J. Was here. In front of him. Damian just internally shrugged and held a hand out, “Hi! I’m Damian! Wanna go play with my friends! there’s a game room so we don’t have to be with the gross adults.. you can also just.. sit there. My friends are pretty.. Loud?” “Okay.”

• jon had to take his hand back from damian since damian began eagerly tugging him.

“Damian seems to be accepting him pretty easily.” “I hope they can be friends, Jon.. doesn’t have any. I have only recently got him from his.. father.” “Odd, does he go to school?” “No, not yet, I’m still trying to get him adjusted.” “Ah.. Damian goes to West-Reeves. Maybe he could go there?” “That private school? Bruce.. I cannot afford that- not all of us are millionaires.” “Mhm.. I could pay.” “I can’t let you do that.” “He could get a scholarship.” “In what?” “Academics or athletics.” “Ill.. Talk to him about it. “ “well, ms lane, I just go talk with potential partners, I’ll see you later.”

—

• j got accepted into west reeves under a athletic thingy.

• that was cool. they became best friends!

• sorta

• flashforward 5 years to 15, their dynamic only grew. Damian told Jon his identity, jon didn’t become a hero, but did learn how to stitch damian up because tje idiot showed up bleeding a lot.

• everything was going great

On the phone, Damian: J! J! Guess what’

J: you’re so loud, D, what?

D: I got the lead! In the play!

J: no fucking way?

D: way!

J: Good j—— *crash*

D: J-?

D: J- Jonathan?

D: oh no.

• the call was ended abruptly. Jon always finished his sentences. Something was wrong. Something was really wrong.

• so damian called Lois quickly and ran downstairs to the batcave, lois wasn’t picking up either, she normally always picked up or at least sent a text. She did neither

“Baba!”

“Damian? You should be asleep.”

“Something’s wrong! Somethings really wrong!”

“Jon and Lois- Jon- I heard a crash- and- and”

“Habibi.”

“Mama?”

“Breathe; tell me what’s wrong.”

“I was on a call with Jon.. I told him about the play since I wanted him to go and stuff. Then I heard a crash. And then the line went dead. I’m scared— what if something happened!”

“Let’s not jump to conclusions, what happened with Lois?”

“She didn’t pick up the phone— she normally does! Or she texts me and says she will call back!”

“Maybe she is asleep.”

“No! You need to believe me!”

“Damian, calm down, I do, we will go to see if they’re okay, you get back to bed.”

“No. I’m coming with.”

“No you arent.”

“But!”

“Listen to your father.”

• okay fine. He’ll listen, damian went back up to his room for half an hour before calling his friends to do a rescue mission. He had an extra suit in his room, he can do this.

• with his team, it consisted of shazam, abuse, nobody, and green lantern, himself too, of course.

• captain marvel picked him up once he was ready and they met up with the other 3.

Maya: you said he’s in trouble?

Dami: Yes.

Colin: than let’s go save him!

• they went and saved the bestie, nearly got killed too

• oh and now damians sorta probably grounded when batman shows up 🤡

J:You came for me..?

D:We all did.. why are you so surprised?

J: * wraps his arms around damian * thank you

D: i- yeah.. anytime. what’re friends for?

• friends. Jon liked that. Jon also liked the way Damian’s cheeks went red when jon hugged him

• jon knew he chuckled before Damian’s arms wrapped around him. hard. Damian was a hard hugger

• jon became a superhero at 16. Damian had even more of a reason to sneak into his window every night now! Lois had began thinking the two were dating

D: Us? Dating? Please! He is way too good for me!

L: awwww, gosh, how haven’t you been swept off your feet yet?

J: he has, but he has rejected them all

D: what can I say? I’m a gay theater kid ( this is a /j i promise a big big joke ) so they gotta be dramatic enough to put up with me, AND they need to do something big and bold to actually catch my eye

L: *laughs* take notes, jon

J: mom!

• jon has gone to a few of Damian’s plays and to dress rehearsals

• he was also there to watch damian wreck a car during his drivers test

D: there was a fricking squirrel there, J!

J: are you sure? maybe you’re just a shitty driver?

D: you’re a shitty driver!

J: cmon don’t pout

D: ‘m not!

• he was pouting. oopsie. jon did get him ice cream after

• jon goes by abnormal, because he’s an alien and because I don’t have any other ideas

J: this girl asked me out

M: oh? who! tell us!

D: ..what?

J: yeah, in my physics class

T: ooh! get it, jonno

M: give us a name, coward!

J: her name is Charlotte— but she goes by charlie. she’s.. different. red head. pretty freckles—

M: pretty freckles? does Jonny have a crush?! Oh my gosh, our sons growing up, Tai!

T: im about to start sobbing

J: fuck offff— D?

D: huh?

J: you’re being quiet, you plotting??

D: uh. yeah! duh- *he nudged jons shoulder with his, forcing a grin* figuring out ways to embarrass you in front of your girlfriend.

J: sucha brat- * jon ended up putting Damian into a playfully chokehold *

• damian just played along. he just smiled and watched as jon began walking with her instead of their friend group

M: hey- kid- you alright?

D: I’m onto a year younger than you Maya.

M: tou didn’t answer the question

D: I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be? You’re silly.

• tai ended up pulling him aside

T: when are you going to tell him?

D: how am I supposed to when he basically has a girlfriend now?

T: are you just gonna sit there and pine all day??

D: yes, thank you for understanding

• he’s a stubborn little shit and will absolutely not confess, his best friend is happy, who is he to ruin that?

T: he’s totally jealous.

J: so- do you- do you think it’ll work? That he’ll be surprised?

T: totally

J: thank you for lending me your girlfriend, Maya

M: anytime- not literally- you aren’t having her again

• this was all a trick, sorry, d.. jon does like you

• ( hope you all saw that foreshadowing earlier :) )

• damian needed big and dramatic. jon was gonna do that. even if he was uh. sorta aloof and shy.

• he learned how to sing and play the guitar for Damian. maya and tai were gonna scatter flower petals onto the floor for Damian to follow ( they will tell him too too )

• the whole school will probably watch as Damian finally gets a big dramatic proposal

• damian will love it

M: just follow the petals!

D: I’m confused

M: trust us

• damian did and followed the petals and low and behold, jon kent with a guitar and small smile

D: j-jon?

J: hey. I wrote you a song

D: no you didn’t

J: shut up and listen dumbass

*after that amazing song of how Jon asked damian out to homecoming*

D: that was amazing

J: dramatic enough for you?

D: YES! ( damian went and sprinted to jon, hugging him so tightly before leaning in to kiss him ) we are boyfriends now right

J: yeah, idiot

D: ur the idiot

• I can’t add anymore because myphones really laggy, I hope you enjot

#cliche asks #jondami #damijon #personality swap #Damian wayne #Jon kent #background swap

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youngbounty · 3 years

Text

The Problem with Apollo’s Backstories

It’s very rare I see this. So far, I’ve only seen two posts on Tumblr about this, but I’ve noticed a few posts that make mention about Phoenix Wright having no backstory. Now, whether they were made as a joke to not be taken seriously or not is something I cannot confirm. That being said, it did bring up something that does come up often: the problem with Apollo Justice having too many backstories. The thing is, Phoenix Wright has just as many backstories as Apollo, yet no one seems to make mention of it or perhaps are not aware. It made me question how this is possible. Certainly, if Apollo’s three backstories stick out like a sore thumb, wouldn’t Phoenix Wright’s three backstories stick out too? Shouldn’t Phoenix also have the same amount of complainers about having too many backstories?

I am a true believer that there is no such thing as a bad idea, but bad execution. I think Phoenix’s backstories are an example of Apollo’s backstories done correctly. To understand this, I’m going to go over each of Apollo’s and Phoenix’s three backstories, and explain where Phoenix got it right where Apollo did not.

With Apollo’s first backstory in the game Apollo Justice, where Apollo is introduced as the main protagonist of this game, we find out that he used to work for Kristoph Gavin at the Gavin Law Offices before finding out he murdered Shadi Smith. Later on, we find out his bracelet matches Thalassa Gramarye’s in her picture, proving that they are mother and son. Through Zak, we find out that Thalassa was once married to a different man before he passed away, believing that her first born had died with him. This draws the connection between Apollo Justice and Trucy Wright as being half brother and sister. And… that’s it. This information does not effect Apollo, since we don’t know his life outside of this during the time of the game’s release, and he does not know that Trucy is his half sister. This backstory does draw a connection between the two long lost siblings, but without any knowledge to create a reaction, it feels empty and shallow. It wasn’t until the two follow-up games that we get more of Apollo’s character and development that fans of the game began to care enough to demand the two half siblings discover their long lost relationship they are not aware of.

For Phoenix Wright, his backstory is the all-knowing class trial back in his elementary school. On one school day, Phoenix Wright was accused of stealing lunch money from a student, due to being sick and being dismissed from school that day, leaving him without an alibi. This lead to a class trial where everyone, including the teachers, shamed him, even though Phoenix claimed it wasn’t him, then crying over the humiliation and shaming. Just when Phoenix was about to forcibly apologize to this student, the student stands up and makes the claim that, since no proof was given that Phoenix had taken the money, he is innocent until proven guilty. A second student also defends him, leading to the teacher deciding to pay for the lunch money that was stolen. From that moment on, Phoenix became friends with the two students that stood up for him: Miles Edgeworth whose money was stolen and Larry Butz who was the second student to stand up for him.

The first thing that makes Phoenix’s backstory different is it creates a motivation and relatability. This backstory tells the story of what motivated Phoenix Wright to become a Defense Attorney. He had befriended the two boys that stood up for him when he was accused of theft at school. One of those friends grew up to become the Demon Prosecutor, Miles Edgeworth, who is known for falsifying and withholding evidence. When Phoenix tried to contact him, he would not answer. So, Phoenix Wright became a Defense Attorney both to meet with him and save him. With this, comes with relatability. Phoenix is someone longing for the friend he once lost, something most of us can relate to – if you’ve ever had a childhood friend, whose friendship broke apart over time. This creates motivation for Phoenix and the players to wish for Miles Edgeworth to return back to being Phoenix’s friend again. With Apollo, on the other hand, his first backstory doesn’t give us anything to relate or motivate us to want him and Trucy to discover their real mother or relation. The mention about Apollo’s biological father does come up, but not until Dual Destinies and Spirit of Justice, which I will get into later. Because of how shallow and empty this backstory feels, it’s no longer Apollo was called a Gary-Sue when the Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney first came out.

The second backstory for Apollo finally gives us something concrete. In this second backstory, Apollo had grown up with Clay Terran in a boarding school. We get a flashback of Clay crying because someone in his family died (I can’t remember who. Comment if you know). Apollo cheers him up with his “I’M FINE!” speech. This became a motto for him and Clay. From this backstory, we finally find out that Apollo had grown in a boarding school during his youth with Clay. We finally get a motivation and relatability from Apollo Justice to make us care and cheer for him. There’s just one problem… what does this have anything to do with Apollo’s connection to the Gramarye and his relation to Trucy? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. That’s where Phoenix’s second backstory differs.

For Phoenix Wright, his second backstory tells that he began studying at Ivy University to study on law and art. From there, he met a beautiful lady named Dahlia Hawthorn at the library inside the courthouse. She gave him a heart-shaped bottle as a token of their love and they hit it off. Having dated Dahlia for nine months, he began showing off his little gift to all his friends at the university, even when Dahlia asked him to give it back. Just then, Phoenix came across Dahlia’s ex boyfriend named Doug Swallow, who met with him to warn him that Dahlia was not who he thinks she is. Angry, Phoenix pushes him, then finds him dead not long afterwards. He is arrested for murder, defended by Mia Fey – who is an already established character, in the tutorial first case of the third game of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. Through Mia’s defense, Phoenix realized that not only did Dahlia’s gift turn out to be evidence used to poison Mia’s boyfriend, but Dahlia had also tried to poison him with his cold medication and was the one responsible for Doug’s murder.

Just like with Apollo’s second backstory and Phoenix’s first, this creates relatability and motivation. It creates a motivation for why Phoenix was angry at Miles Edgeworth during the second game, why he trusts Mia so strongly and why he would go to Hazakura Temple, once he sees someone that looks like Dahlia. This also reveals one of Phoenix’s major flaws as someone that considers betrayal and murder by poison inexcusable actions, much like how Apollo’s second backstory reveals how and why Clay’s death pushes him to distrust his colleagues. Unfortunately, what Apollo’s second backstory does not show is any connection to the first. With Phoenix’s second backstory, it connects back to the first and second game. It explains how Phoenix met an already established character, explains why Phoenix was cross with Edgeworth in the second game and follows where the first backstory left off with wanting to become a Defense Attorney to meet with Miles Edgeworth. Aside from Apollo growing up in a Boarding School, confirming that he is an orphan, and why he always shouts “I’M FINE!” we get no connection or follow-up from the first backstory. There’s no connection to his former boss, Trucy or the Gramarye’s. Thus, Apollo’s second backstory feels like a separate story from the first, whereas Phoenix’s second backstory feels like a follow-up to the first.

Apollo’s third backstory is that Apollo’s father, Jove Justice, came to the Kingdom of Khura’in to play music inside Durke’s home. One day, a fire arose and Jove Justice was assumingly murdered. Dhurke had miraculously saved Jove’s infant son in the nick of time before the rest of his residence was burned, hiding in the mountains with his eldest son, Nahyuta. From there, Dhurke had raised Nahyuta and Apollo in the mountain as their father, watching them grow up. Unfortunately, because of the laws in the kingdom where Defense Attorneys were prisoned with any client declared Guilty and Dhurke being an outlaw, he sent Apollo to the United States. From there, Apollo never saw or heard from Dhurke or Nahyuta again, believing all his life that Dhurke had abandoned him.

Again, like the second backstory, this gives us relatability and motivation. Leaving any family is something all of us feel saddened about. It also follows up with the relatability of Phoenix’s first backstory of being close with someone, only to grow apart from them with age. But, again, there is no connection between this backstory or the other two. What does this backstory have anything to do with Apollo’s connection with the Gramarye, relation to Trucy, friendship with Clay, growing up in a boarding school as a youth or his reasons for saying “I’M FINE!” all the time? NOTHING! There’s not a single callback to any of these, not even to reoccurring characters from the fourth or fifth game. Nothing on Kristoph Gavin, the Space Center, nothing. There is mention of Jove Justice being Apollo’s biological father, but do we get anything on Thalassa or the Gramarye’s? Even a tiny bit? Nope! Any connection with Jove Justice and the Gramarye’s to explain how he may’ve met the daughter of the famous Magnify Gramarye and they may’ve fallen in love? Nope! Again, I get nothing. It’s sad, because the story could’ve also added Thalassa into the mix as being Jove’s singing partner, a subtle picture of her and explaining why she might be so talented in singing. The fact that the second case does involve the Gramarye, I think, is a missed opportunity to draw a connection to Apollo’s third and first backstory.

For Phoenix Wright, his third backstory is in Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney, believe it or not. This backstory takes place during the seven years between the third and fourth game. Phoenix Wright was defending Zak Gramarye for the murder of Magnify Gramarye. During this trial, he presents forged evidence unknowingly, which Klavier Gavin reveals to be forged via the surprising Witness. From there, Phoenix is disbarred from law and his client Zak disappears from site. Trucy, who is Zak’s daughter, is left behind and Phoenix cannot find any living relatives, thus decides to adopt her as his own daughter. From here, he turns his law offices into a Talent Agency for his new daughter and takes the job as a piano/poker player. He befriends the only Bar Associate that voted him to be innocent, Kristoph Gavin, who had used his friendship to stalk and watch him.

Again, this creates relatability and motivation as someone losing their job for unfair reasons, entering fatherhood and being manipulated by fake friends. This also is a great follow-up to the trilogy itself and confirming everything that’s already established canon such as Phoenix considering poison and betrayal to be inexcusable, which is what Kristoph does. It establishes the relationship and connection with Trucy and even Apollo. Even as weak as Apollo’s backstory is, it is enough to give Phoenix a strong motivation to take him in as a student. With how strong this third backstory to Phoenix is and its connection to the trilogy as a whole, it makes me wonder why he wasn’t the protagonist of this story. Though, it does conclude what this third backstory does so well that all of Apollo’s backstories do not do: continue where the previous left off.

With every backstory Phoenix gets, it always continues where the previous left off. They connect well like a puzzle. Each piece matches well and never feels separate. With each new backstory, it continues where the previous left off. The second backstory continues where the first and second game left off and the third backstory continues where the trilogy left off. With Apollo’s three backstory, they feel so disconnected, it’s like trying to fit three unmatching pieces together, while ignoring the rest of the 197 puzzle pieces. Sure, the third backstory might’ve mentioned Jove Justice as Apollo’s biological father, but we don’t know anything about Jove or Thalassa, their relationship, how they met or anything. Was Thalassa the lead singer when Jove played, like she is as Lamoure? I don’t know. Even Apollo growing up at a Boarding School or how he went there is never explained in the third backstory. Did Dhurke send Apollo there and pay for his classes? I don’t know.

In conclusion, Apollo’s problem with his backstories are not that there are too many, but that they do not connect. Backstories must fit together in order to work. There has to be a cause and effect. Phoenix Wright has full backstories that have always connected perfectly like puzzle pieces. He has one of the strongest established backstories in Ace Attorney, alongside Miles Edgeworth, who technically has four backstories. That just goes to show you can’t have too many backstories. Although, you can have botched up backstories that do not match up that makes it feel like there are too many backstories.

What are your thoughts on this? Feel free to comment, whether you agree or disagree. I might make a follow-up to this to explain how Apollo’s three backstories could be fixed to where they feel complete. It really depends.

#ace attorney #phoenix wright #apollo justice #apollo justice's backstories #too many backstories

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mrs-nate-humphrey · 3 years

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I am curious: what are your favorite scenes from your main ships (date, dair, derena...)?

scenes involving milo don't count, sorry!

for me, it's really not just scenes, but body language & just in general, how they are with each other, you know? dan and serena grin at each other and hug SO much, you can tell that being around each other in s1 made them both so happy, and even after that glow fades the way they look for comfort in each other... top level stuff. the way blair looks at dan... we never see her as radiant at any other point. she was not looking at anyone else like this. and gosh, dan and nate. they're both so comfortable around each other that there's absolutely nothing weird about like. discussing that one ex girlfriend whom they both share AND both were in love with. there is literally no other duo who trusts/enjoys each other's company so much that they're comfortable in a love triangle. (probably because they're more in love with each other than with the girl, but that is not the point. or is it?)

anyway, more specific answers. under the cut. this is one of the longest answers i've ever written on this blog possibly but you KNEW that would happen when you sent this ask, didn't you? (affectionate)

derena: i tagged one of my ds reblogs as 'the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one' and like. look at them! this hug from 1x10 kills me in the best way. they are both the literal embodiment of :D when they see each other! i love 1x10 as a whole moment, their entire thing at cotillion is so sweet and they're both so happy. the fact that he is talking about his chemistry teacher during this kiss in 1x07. that bit at the end of 1x05 when they talk about their siblings (being there for their sibling because of fallible parents being a derena parallel makes me simultaneously really sad and really soft, tbh). 1x05 gives me SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT but the way they walk off together arms around each other does something to me - these are two people who are still getting to know each other but who really like what they see, and who trust each other and. are just having a good time together! back when derena was my OTP, the 1x11 "your story's about me?" was absolutely a fave, too, and i still adore it, albeit in a different, more nostalgic way. i like a dan who writes cute stories about serena. no empty shell sabrina van skoneker bullshit. she is so much like you, daniel! you'd be shattered if she did this to you. don't do this to her. tbh, most derena moments from s1 are just A+ romance. the bit in 2x02 in the jitney is so funny, they're SO bad at being exes. the bit in... 3x03 i think?? i don't remember... on the contrary. when they're talking about dan's fling w/ georgina and serena's relationship with carter, the ease with which they talk and how happy/supportive they are of each other's new relationships... yeah. love to see it.

i also really like any instance of them having honest/open conversations. 1x13, talking about how serena is concerned about blair. 1x08, serena talking to dan about feeling jealous of vanessa. this bit from the touch of eva or whatever that episode is. 4x04 i think. this is the conversation everyone is trying to get dan to have and he's avoiding EVERYONE else. derena interactions in 3x21 (can't find a gif right now) - the fact that dan is with serena when her dad abandons them, the fact that he goes all the way there with her. 2x07, "i'm really glad you're nate's friend. he really needs someone like you right now" (though i'm cheating, that's technically a d/n moment too klhdflkgf). there's a bit in s4 where he's advising her against having an affair w/ colin, i don't remember the ep number, but the way he takes her side so easily and naturally and puts due blame/responsibility solely on her professor... yeah. 4x10 i think this ep is?? idk. but like my tags say, im sentimental about this moment because while what dan was doing was irresponsible, sneaking her out of the ostroff, he was the only person in this episode who was actually talking to her and listening to her and taking her seriously. nobody else was doing that!!

i probably have more moments i'm not remembering, but we're only 1/3 into this answer and LOOK AT THE WORDS, good lord, i'm sorry.

dair: my favourite dair episode is hands down despicable b (5x21) which i have heard is an uncommon answer. i just love the conflict resolution of it all, okay!!! 1x04 & 2x08 are like. standard answers any dair shipper will give, and i'm no different. i love dan being able to give blair advice and blair actually taking his advice even though they're not friends yet!!! be right back, yelling at the intimacy of it all!! 5x16, with their getting together (this little kiss and dan being so startled by it), blair admitting a flaw she genuinely does have and dan saying it's not awful because it's her, which is just. romance at its finest. those vows, good lord. 5x18.... they're having fun! blair showing up at the loft in lingerie for dan... the delight on her face.... (i know this moment blows up in their face but when she's there she looks so happy and proud of herself and this was like THE moment when i was like. oh. dair is really the heart of this garbage show huh).

i think for me, the thing that really sells dan & blair together is the serena of it all. both of them love serena more fiercely than anyone else, and that is what brings them together. (fwiw i definitely think nate loved serena this much and this deeply, too; the writers just wanted to pop the serenate balloon, which even i think was extremely unnecessary and ooc.) but (& i have so much meta about this) their relationship grows beyond serena. their entire s4 arc is SO good. i love how comfortable around each other they are, in such an adult way, in the sense of like. they both bring so much stability to each other? morgan tagged this edit "the marrieds" and like. yeah. b offers to help him shave. they're having breakfast & reading the paper together.

all the love declarations we got that weren't a simple 'i love you.' be your charming wonderful self (how could she not love you/ tell me what would make you happy, dan) i told chuck he doesn't have my heart anymore (you spent your life earning the keys to set you free when you were free all along!!!!) dan's pep talk to blair in 5x21 (already linked a gifset earlier, here's another one if you want i guess). there's definitely more... but honestly, the way the dair arc was executed was so good - while i do have my complaints, i also think keeping those aside, it was SO close to perfect. i love dan & blair's banter and gradually becoming closer and closer and closer. it felt very organic and real and GOSH. the way penn & leighton looked at each other while playing dan and blair...... it's just SO MUCH.

date: this is the hardest, because it's. *screams*. maybe you saw me losing my mind over those 2 seconds of nate handing dan a waffle? i love almost every scene with these two, even the hellish s6 breakup scene. my favourite episode for d/n (& also favourite gg episode in general) is 2x06 - i love the homoerotic subtext of it all. nate pretending to be dan because dan's name is the first name that came to his head. dan flirting w/ nate while tied to that thing, in his underwear. them becoming friends. and 2x07 as a follow-up to that! dan getting nate to live in the loft with the humphreys for a while. i am so soft.

4x09 is a terrible episode in general, especially for serena my beloved, but the d/n moments in that one? off the CHARTS. this weird overly macho flirting, in some ways THE most iconic d/n line. this entire finish each other's sentences nonsense. someone (i think it was ana but im not sure?) compared the energy of those scenes i just linked to the book blairenate love triangle resolution, blairena choosing each other over nate in the books, date choosing each other over serena in the show (if only! RIP.) after the saints & sinners ball, this cute little moment of 'youre the only one who understands me. please tell me they went home together. i mean. how could they not have.

3x07, them watching vampire porn together. a tag i used on ao3 (& also on here, once) is 'nate brings out the himbo in dan'. here is a prime example. 'is she levitating?' i don't fucking know, dan, what do you think?? (i was telling my partner that that's what i love abt dair vs date. around blair dan is an intellectual, a librarian, an art historian, a museum curator. around nate it's like dan is competing to be #1 himbo on the show. can my girlfriend actually fly? i don't know, dan. i can't believe you're seriously asking such a question.)

3x12 pep talk. (sorry about the shitty quality!) essentially nate telling dan that he (dan) is hot and that he shouldn't talk himself down so much.

dan making nate gay in his book. you know. his book from which blair found out he was in love with her. nads (who i will not tag in this billion word long gushy meta, because i value her sanity) once called inside "wish fulfilment' and. i mean. yeah

nate checking dan out at the derena wedding continues to be hilarious. hilarious in the same way as dan sexually fantasising about nate. canon really went 'let's give ivy some special easter eggs' and i appreciate them a lot!

i love the way they are around each other - so quietly attuned to each other. i showed my sister my date!husbands gifset, and she was like. yeah they're so married. and it's just stuff like how dan looks for nate over his shoulder, it's not even an active action, it's as easy and natural and intuitive as breathing, checking to see if nate is still there.

oh, that wasn't as hard as it could've been! okay. cool. im SURE there's more things i could scream about, because it's DN, the fact that they're non-canon makes me THAT much fiercer about them than dair/derena, to be honest. so many dots to connect!! anyway.

#meta #derena #dair #date #anon #this is SUCH a gushy essay but like. what did you expect #how else could i have answered this #this took. an embarrassingly long amount of time #but i had SO much fun so #citations for my ships #don't mind me *whistles under my breath*

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i-see-you-now-you-see-me · 3 years

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Anyways, couldn’t let crazy Hendery’s personalities be the end of DYVLONY right? Here is the High Court Magistrate’s turn :)

Mending souls

(oneshot, can be read separate, included in DYVLONY series)

Pairing: Xiao Dejun (Wayv) x virgin Reader (Y/N) pseudo Anna

Word count : approx 7.5k, prepare to read under the cut

Warnings: not our shiny Xiaojun, but a bit darker version with a problematic need for all things neat, and hate for all kinds of body fluids... loss of virginity, first time sex (safe sex), some form of punishment, Xiao being a bit yandere.

Bill.

Another bill.

When does this end?

You thought to yourself.

College bills won’t pay themselves and the job you’d gotten at a local pub didn’t pay much either, the tips were mainly your income. So, when a job opportunity presented itself in a form of middle- aged man, you didn’t think twice, before agreeing.

A couple of dates every week, with a random stranger, but you’ll get paid for it, sounded ok, at that time. The job description however scared you a bit.

An escort.

A man or woman who is hired to go with someone to a social event- often used from escort agency services/ a person or group accompanying another to give protection or as a courtesy.

-Prostitution? – your college roommate Lea asked.

-No, not at all, - you stated, - I don’t have to sleep with anyone for this, not unless I want to, this company guarantees that I will be safe, they always provide a driver from their own company, who is near enough next to us all the time.

-Still sounds like prostitution, - Lea was a realist, she would say it for what it is.

-I suppose it is some kind of prostitution, I will be giving my time for the other person, but it is worth it, like the man sad, I would be able to pay college tuition, and we’ll have some extra left over, maybe we can both afford something then.

Lea sighed. Her job didn’t pay much either, and you both were struggling, but this was it, a job Is still a job.

-Fine, - she stated, - just be careful, alright?

You nodded and got dressed. Tonight, you will be a dance/music major, and you will accompany a businessman to a simple dinner. Yet, when your driver reached the destination as a five- star hotel, you felt under- dressed.

-What? – you sucked in a breath, - they told me it’s a small dinner.

-It is miss, - your driver announced, - only up to fifty people.

-Fifty? – your head was spinning, yet your nerves were somehow calm. You were not Y/N tonight.

You were Anna, art student, a confident dancer, who looks gorgeous in her outfit. Your driver nodded that it was the time, and soon you were inside the hotel, greeted by an elderly man, who was your partner for the evening.

-Miss Anna, I presume, - he extended his arm to reach for your hand, and kissed the top of your palm, - you look beautiful. My name is Sir Arthur de Clemence, I am a sponsor for many students over the country, and I am trying to attach more people to my fond tonight. See all these people, - he mentioned to the hall, - they have millions to spare, and with your help, I might be able to do that.

-Yes, sir, - you nodded, - I will do my best.

He nodded and you both headed inside.

A small talk with nearly every guest was your first talk. Flashing your best smile, you turned the conversations into- how small artists help locals survive in smaller towns and so on. It really was working, and by the end of the night, Sir Clemence was able to snatch at least thirty people on his side, all thanks to you.

When driving back after the event, your phone buzzed.

Your jaw dropped. You had just earned an amount that ended with five zeros in your bank account.

You ran into your apartment to find Lea asleep on the couch.

-We did it!!! – you ran towards her and jumped on top of her.

-What a, - Lea woke up from her slumber.

-We did it!!! – you shouted again, and Lea was wide awake now. You showed her your bank statement, and you both started jumping like kids.

-Oh my god!!! Oh my god!!! – she screamed.

-We have got to celebrate this!!!- you stated, and Lea nodded.

Weeks after weeks, the money kept going, your alter ego- Anna was who ever she had to be. A pro gamer, a barista, a literature student, even a stripper once. She was someone who was fearless, who would help you get through everything. To accommodate with your changes- you wore wigs, glasses, your lipstick was different for every person you played.

And after every couple of weeks, you and Lea got to celebrate.

-Did you hear? – Lea asked you, - Wanderlust club is throwing a party, wanna go?

You nodded. It was one of the coolest clubs there was, everyone wanted to get inside, and tonight you would.

As expected, it was crowded, people dancing, chilling at the tables, you both popped a champagne, drinking it ever so slowly, to feel the bubbles sliding down your throat.

-Is this what feeling posh is like? – Lea asked, you nodded.

-It’s just the beginning, - you stated, - I will be able to pay off my loan in a couple of weeks, and then we will get yours too, - you smiled, Lea nearly cried.

-You would do that for me? – she re asked.

-Always, you are my best friend Lea, I would do anything for you.

-Ah, you are making me cry now, - you both laughed and headed to the dance floor.

One moment you were next to Lea, and the next, grinding against someone’s crotch, feeling their hands around your waist. Once turned around you noticed it was an ex-partner of yours, who you accompanied a few weeks back.

-Mr. Roger? – you asked. – what are you doing here?

-Can we speak in private? – he invited, and you followed.

Once outside, he let you to the alley behind the club.

-What is this about? – you asked, - I don’t quite understand.

-Anna, - he started, - I have missed you.

His hands went to grab onto your waist.

-Mr. Roger, you should not be here, - hell, he was not supposed to find you, all your meetings had been confidential, without your real identity and all. – you should not be seeing me like this.

-I had to find you, - he stated, - I…. have been going crazy without you.

He reached for you once again, and you stepped back.

-This is not right, - you said, - I am getting back.

As you walked, his hands grabbed you again, pressing you against his torso, you kneaded him with your elbow and tried to get out of his grasp.

-Hey, - someone shouted, - what’s going on here?

You recognized him as the bartender from the club. He had a towel on his shoulder, and he was carrying a bin bag.

-This is not your business dude, better leave, - Mr. Roger spoke.

-He is attacking me, - you said, - get me away from him and if necessary, call the police, would you?

The bartender led you inside, giving you a glass of water and a pill.

-This will reduce your dizziness from the alcohol, - he stated and you drank without hesitation.

-Tastes funny, - you said, and somehow your words were getting slurpy, as if your mouth was filled with your saliva, -what is thisssss…. – you tried to ask.

-I am sorry, - he said, - I truly am.

You had no idea what had happened. Once unconscious, your clutch-bag had been taken away from you, and you were lying next to few other unconscious bodies, waiting for couple more, so the task would be completed.

Michel sighed, rubbing his eyes. This was wrong what they were doing.

His friend Jack on the other hand, had no issues with this. His mind was blinded by the money.

-Got one? – Jack asked when stepping in the room. Michel nodded.

-Good, good, - he patted the younger’s shoulder, - two more and we are ready to go.

Soon with nine other girls you were thrown in a van and driven away, a few hours later, tied in a spaceship, to be sent elsewhere, and later on, flying through the waves of different galaxies, till you crash landed on a planet, different from your coordinates.

* Planet DYVLONY 10043567901;1102033149001*

A gun was pressed at your neck, a sharp, stinging needle pierced through your skin, an injection that made you wide awake. You woke up with a groan while breathing in. The air- unknown and different, was burning your lungs.

-Her vitals are stable, - someone shouted. You felt disoriented.

The high court magistrate Xiao Dejun was watching through the glass, how all ten girls were injected a serum, vaccine, and a microchip, to help you communicate. Your naked body were one of the final ones, and for some reason he felt like a pervert watching you like that. Your body was beautiful, your curves in all the right places.

-Sir, - Dejun’s assistant spoke, - shall we get them ready?

-Yes, please, - Xiao nodded, - I will get Detective Ten here asap.

Greeting the detective as he arrived, Dejun led him through the doors.

-Don’t think of us as uncivil, - Xiao spoke, - since we don’t know why they are here, we cannot allow them to roam free, if you know what I mean…

The doors opened and Ten arched a brow. Dejun wasn’t looking happy either, but this is what they had to do, precautions, if you will.

-Greetings aliens, - Detective stepped on a platform, and started his interrogation. Xiao knew, Ten will get answers, one way or another, he was a Detective for a reason. – Have they been on drugs?

Xiao nodded to his assistant who handed Ten a file of information.

-The lab tried to make a sample from their blood, but couldn’t, whatever it was, didn’t last long in their system.

-Long enough to transport them to this planet though, - Ten stated.

Later behind closed doors both Detective Ten and Magistrate Xiao Dejun talked about what to do next.

-What did they say? – Xiao asked.

-We were right, the girls were not meant to be here, and they all are harmless, so we need to take action now.

-I know what you mean, - Xiao agreed. – what do you think we do?

Ten sighed and bit his lip.

-We should provide them with home, someone to look after them, - he started, - I can be one, maybe you?

Xiao nodded.

-What about the members of society council?

-Maybe, - Xiao spoke, - but I want to choose.

-Choose? – Ten asked, - ahhh, I see, - he smiled, - has one of them already caught your eye? – Ten winked and giggled.

-Ha, - Dejun poked his shoulder, - it’s not like that, she just seems to be the youngest out of all of them, so, I decided to choose her.

-If that’s what you like, why not, - Ten agreed, smirking.

Once at home, Xiao pulled out your file. It contained a lot of your photos, naked and dressed, from many different angles, information that you had given them. Anna. Your fake name, but no one has to know that.

Opening one of the bedside drawers, he took out a USB, attaching it to his pc. A video started playing and Dejun bit his lip. Choosing to remake the video, he started to work on it. He even re-made the sounds. Clapping his palm onto his other hand, which was formed in a fist, he made sex-like noises, and spoke into microphone.

-Ten, you have to see this, - he spoke, in the video Anna was crawling on her knees, grabbing onto Dejuns’ trousers, touching his cock, and sucking on it afterwards. – she’s a naughty girl.

He announced in the mic, playing forward the video, he made sure, that his partner indeed looked like Anna (you) from all the angles. No one would ever know. Xiaojun remembered the mess his partner had made after the sex, how angry he got, when she smeared her secret all over his abdomen.

Anyways, she got to sit on a bag of peas (a method of punishment used in schools, a long time ago, bag of beans or peas, since small in size would poke at your knees and hurt as hell,) after that stunt. Not on his watch is anyone to make him dirty like that.

Not two days had passed, when Xiao returned to the high court to pick you up. One by one you all got split up, taken to different peoples’ homes, to be taken care of.

-Hey, Suzy, - Xiao greeted, - I am here to pick up Anna, - he smiled.

-She is ready, you just need to sign these papers, - she handed the documents to Xiao, and he filled them in, simple questions of- does your house have a spare room and if you had already purchased clothing for Anna etc. Yes. Xiao was prepared.

You were shaking. This was scary. Who are you about to get? Yet you were the one who were hoping for someone nice, so you put your façade on, bringing in the person you are playing. Anna.

-Anna, - you were greeted by a female DYVLONY, - your guardian is here to pick you up. Follow me.

Once through the door, you saw a back first. Then the brown hair, a person wearing a suit.

For some reason, the person you pictured was Mr. Roger at your first meeting, you got goosebumps all over your body, and then he turned around.

You knew the guy. High court magistrate that you had encountered many times when you had just landed. He was with you when you were being examined. Behind his stare though, there was something else, he seemed like a nice guy, so you put your thoughts aside to focus on your travel to your new home.

Xiao was driving. So, you thought, to make things not so difficult, might have a chat, a small talk, just to get you going.

-What do you do for a living? – you asked, Dejun was very focused on driving, but he gave a small smile before talking.

-I work in the High court, - he started, - I am one of the magistrates there.

-I see, - you spoke, - so you assist in cases and all that?

Xiao nodded.

-What were you on your Earth? – Dejun asked.

You thought briefly, what to tell him, you were a student and an escort? Do you really tell him?

-I was in school, actually, - you started, - but I did various side jobs.

-Like what? – he continued.

-Uhm, - you bit your lip, - I was a bartender.

-Was a bartender? – he re- asked, - and after that?

Do you tell him? He might not know what it is though, right?

-I worked as an escort, - you spoke softly, more quiet than normal.

-So, what does an escort do? – he was curious now.

-Just, you know, - you breathed in a sharp breath, - like a person to be company for another person. Simple as that.

Xiao nodded.

-And you get paid to do that? – he thought to himself, you nodded.

-Yeah, see, a lot of people are lonely like that, - you stated, trying to figure out a way to change a subject. – your car is neat, - you nearly squeaked out a random sentence. But then it really was neat, there was not a single bit of dust, the cleanest vehicle you had ever seen.

Xiao flashed a smile. He was really good- looking, it was clear as the sky.

Once parked up by his house, he led you both inside the house. It amazed you how clean it was everywhere. You left your shoes at the hallway before putting on a pair of slippers, which Xiao had given to you.

The house was small, but comfy, two floors, by the looks of it. Xiao led you to your room, but you stopped by his room seeing how it looked like. There were various toys on one of the shelves, and it looked creepy as fuck.

-This is my room, - Xiao was right beside you.

-Oh, - you snapped out of your trance, - I’m sorry, I just noticed those… - you pointed to the shelves.

-I see, - he said, - let’s go, shall we?

You nodded and followed into your room. He opened a cupboard; everything was placed in it neatly. Socks, jumpers, underwear, you name it, he had it. All stacked up elegantly, nothing hanging about.

-Thank you, - you said.

-I’ll let you settle in, - with that he left you alone, only then you could get some time to roam through the cupboards. You started doing that when you met up with your clients back on Earth, some of them had planted microphones and cameras in their hotel rooms, so it had made you a bit paranoid. You had never told Lea that. As far as she had to know, you were always safe while at your job.

Xiao walked back to his room, opening his computer, he clicked send the video, adding a thumbs up, before getting back to you. You were literally roaming through the cupboards, half of the clothing now onto the floor. Xiao found you, arms deep in the drawers.

-What on DYVLONY are you doing!? – he shouted.

You jumped, landing on your ass.

-Ouch, - you shouted, swearing a “fuck” after that.

-Nope, - Xiao announced, went straight for you, grabbing your ear, while you grabbed his hand, he pulled you up on your feet, dragging you out of your room, down the stairs. You followed him with an “ouch” after an “ouch”.

Once in the kitchen, he sat you down on a chair.

-We don’t speak like that in this house, - he said, opening one of the drawers, putting a cloth on the table, followed by a box of silver cutlery. – and we don’t throw things around like that!

He stayed quiet. You didn’t quite get what he wanted from you.

-So, - he started, - I am giving you a punishment, - your eyes widened and heart- beat went up, - you will polish this, - he mentioned to the silver cutlery. You nodded taking the cloth in your hand. One by one you took out the pieces, wiping them clean, putting them back. Really there was nothing to polish, they must have been cleaned only a couple of days before.

-This is easy, - you said.

-Ha, - Xiaojun laughed opening few more drawers where you were greeted by a few more sets of silver.

You mentally face-palmed yourself.

-You will clean ALL OF THEM, - he announced.

-I’m sorry, - you whispered.

-I know you are, - he stated, passing you more sets.

A few hours later you thought your hands were to fall off. Clean. Wipe. Polish. Your stomach rumbled. Xiaojun leaned closer, next to you ear, his breath tickling your throat.

-Hungry?

You jumped back in your chair, your nape hitting Xiaojun in the face in the process. When he grabbed his nose, you went to help him.

-I am sorry, I didn’t mean to, - you said, nearly sobbing, he was groaning in pain. When he moved his hands away from his face, you saw the blood first.

-There better be no blood, - Xiao said, your lip trembled now, teary eyes looking at him. He walked away, upstairs, probably to the bathroom, while you fell to your knees, crying. He was angry, it was frightening. Most of the times the calmest people are the most scary when it comes to things like this.

Minutes passed while you were on the floor, until you heard footsteps approaching. Xiao leaned down, putting his hand around you to help you get up.

-I’m sorry, - you sobbed.

-It’s fine, - he replied, - let’s get you something to eat.

He sat you back to the chair, and when you saw his face, there was not a glimpse of blood or anger, he looked like before, the smiling court magistrate that you met before. You wiped your eyes in the back of your hands, and the sleeves of your onesie.

Throughout the dinner, you couldn’t face him, not once you looked his way. When you finished eating, Xiao took the dishes and washed them, drying them off straight away. You looked up at him, finally. He smiled at you.

The kind of smile that makes you warm. A nice smile.

-Shall we go upstairs?

You nodded, and he led the way, but to your surprise he stopped in front of the bathroom.

-Is everything alright? – you asked when he opened the door, he didn’t respond, but mentioned for you to walk inside. You stepped inside and he followed. There was a pile of bloodied tissue in the rubbish bin that caught your attention.

The next thing you know, your face is nearly in the bloody tissues, and you are on your knees.

-Who did this? – Xiaojun asked.

You couldn’t say a word, you were in shock.

-Who did this? – he asked again, pressing your head down more towards the tissue. You started crying. – who did this? – he asked the final time.

-I’m sorry, - you sobbed.

-I am not asking you that, - he said calmly, - WHO DID THIS?

Throughout your sobs and cries, you manage to squeak a very quiet “me”. He let go of your head.

-Me, - you said one more time, the same quiet like before, - I did this…

And then it was all too much, your cries, your feelings on high alert, and then… everything went black.

*48 hours later*

Xiaojun was next to your bed, sitting on a chair. The doctor had just left, saying that you must have had a couple of rough days, that knocked you out like this.

He was scared.

He did this to you.

You looked so peaceful like this though. He must have had scared you with his behavior. He couldn’t do anything about it, that’s what he does, he had been brought up like this, and so will you. You will get used to it; he was sure about it.

There was a couple of pills that the doctor recommended, and an injection, which Xiao was against off. He would not do that to you. So, pills it were, he just needs you to wake up, and then you both could continue with your life.

He waited an hour, and one more, and then he made you soup, then he was ready to wake you. Once he walked in your room, he noticed you were sat upright, looking disoriented.

-Hey, - Xiao greeted, your body pressed back, as if to hide from him, - it’s ok, - he said, - don’t be scared, I won’t hurt you.

This time, Xiao got on his knees, leaning down, asking for your forgiveness.

-I should not have reacted like I did, and I apologize, - he said, - I am truly sorry, I will try to take care of you like I promised, if you let me…

You nodded.

He got back up, bringing you some warm soup, and giving you water to drink the pills.

-Doctor gave these for you, - he smiled while handing them to you, - they should help, for the anxiety and stress that you’ve been through.

You nodded, pretending to drink the pills. When you thought he wasn’t looking, you turned your head to spit the pills out, but Xiao’s hands got to you first, his hand clamped down on your mouth.

-Swallow, - he said. – it’s for your own good.

You nodded a “no”.

-Please, - he said, - it really is for your own good. Please?

You swallowed the tablets, not really wanting to, but it was the only option for you. Only then, Xiao let go of your face.

-I know I scared you, - he said, - if you behave, it won’t happen again, ok?

You nodded once more. God only knew what he was about to do, and you? Would play nice, not to anger him. Oh boy, was it ever that simple?

Following days, he was at home. Both of you would have breakfast, then doing house- work, you would clean, he would do the same, you would watch him rearrange his toys, and then would be lunch, and every other day you would go for walks.

On this particular day, he took you to church.

You were greeted by a smiling pastor, who seemed off.

Once you sat down in one of the isles, you listened to what pastor Kun would be talking about today.

-Family, - he said, - family is only one, the one that we had chosen before we were born. Family is our beginning, and it is also our ending. Turn to your right, - pastor preached, - are you with your loved ones? Your friends are also your family. They are the ones who make you who you are.

Your brain gears started to circulate in motion. Family. Why is Xiao like this? There is something that must have happened, it’s your task to find out.

Walking back, you looked around, smiled at the kids who ran around, a simple interaction like this made you feel welcome.

-Tell me about your family, - you said looking up at Xiao.

-There is not much to tell, - he replied, - my father was very strict, my mother was too, they both were, but thanks to them I got where I am now. I focused more on learning and knowledge than running around with friends or girlfriends.

You nodded. Strict. That’s probably not the right word.

-Who made you obsessed with cleaning? – you spat out and then shut your mouth with your hand. Xiao stopped in his tracks. He looked at you, the deep orbs searching yours, as if he was looking directly into your soul.

-Why don’t you tell me your real name? – he simply replied, starting to walk again, away from you, towards the house.

-What? – you asked, going after him, - what does that supposed to mean?

He looked at you unbothered, raising his eyebrows.

-I know you lied about that; I am not stupid you know…

-So, what!? I lied… AND? – your voice escalated, - you have no proof!

Soon you were back in the house, behind closed doors, where no one would hear you arguing.

-And that Is supposed to make It normal? – Xiao talked back at you, - proof? I have called your name, and you have not responded so many times I started to think, that something is off, until I realized, that Anna might not be your name, that you might be a traitor, who has stolen someone’s identity.

-I told you I was an escort, you know what else escorts do? – you shouted, - I transform into other personalities, turn into a different person, to earn money. One day I can be someone to seduce you, - you stepped closer, touching Xiao’s chest, - a different time I can be your worst enemy.

You stomped upstairs, going in Xiao’s room.

-What do you think you’re doing? – he asked, going after you.

-I told you, I can be whatever people wanted me to be, so which me do you want? You chose me for a reason? And what is that reason, huh?

With a swift movement, your hands threw all of his toys on the ground, like a maniac, you threw every single one of them down, Xiao was screaming, while trying to catch you.

-What are you doing!? – he shouted.

-What you gonna do about it? – you shouted back, and it was like a switch had been activated. Gone was the calm and happy Xiao from minutes ago. Next thing you knew, you were on your stomach on the ground, your face pushed down into the carpet.

-What is this behavior? – he asked, pushing your face even more, if that was even possible. Somehow you managed to turn your face at the right time, gathering your saliva, spitting him in the face. Xiao jumped back. He looked so disgusted.

-What? – you bit back, - don’t like a bit of drool? You neat freak!

You were ready to make a run for it.

-I have seen the weird things you do, - you said, - you dislike blood and other body fluids, barely manage to live through the mess in the bathroom after I have had a shower with my hair sticking everywhere… yet you drink coffee and tea that contains grains, through a straw. What does it make you? You are disgusting!

Xiao pursed his lips, calculating what he will say next.

-I think that mouth of yours needs washing with soap, - he said matter- of- factly, - everything that comes out of it, sounds like a lot of shit…

When you understood what he was about to do, it was too late, he had grabbed you, pushing you into the bathroom, down on your knees, already next to the sink. Holding you in between his legs so you wouldn’t move, his hands gathering the liquid soap, trying to get it in your mouth, you were pursing your lips, trying your best not to open your mouth. His fingers blocked your nose, and you breathed in to get air back into your lungs, and Xiao pushed the soap in your mouth.

It burned like hell, your tongue tasted the bitterness, and your mouth was burning, tears were already streaming down your face, and your face was pushed up, Xiao was looking down on you, his face happy.

-Whose fault is this? – he asked, - I wouldn’t have to do this if you were a nice girl… right?

When you were sobbing like mad, he let go, and you spat the soap out, some of it had already went down your throat. Washing your mouth, you sobbed even louder, Xiao was still having a hold on you.

-Who are you? – he asked.

-My name is Y/N, - you spoke softly, tears slipping down your face.

-My classmates called me dirty, - he said, - so my mother made sure, I was not…

Back to your feet, Xiao had washed your face, made you sit on the bean bag, while he puts his toys back into place. You were still sobbing in between, while Xiao talked.

-I did choose you, - he said, - for my own hunger and desires. I made you someone else in my mind. I thought you would be different, once you would be mine, but expectations didn’t match reality, - he looked at you, - don’t worry, I won’t give you back, I intend to make you mine…

He smiled.

-What you do is not right, - you talked quietly, - you can’t make me yours, I should do that willingly, you punishing me is not right.

Xiao let out a laugh. He walked over to you.

-That’s the only thing I know, that’s how I keep control…

-When I was Anna, that’s how I kept control.

-See, we are not so different, you and I.

The after taste from the soap still lingered in your mouth. He was right in a way, and in a normal situation you would have ran away, but not here. As an escort you had come across a lot of broken souls, people who just needed someone to talk to, near enough like a next of kin, a family member who would listen to them instead of blaming them for something.

-I’m sorry, - you whispered, - your parents had no right to do that to you. I know, me saying this won’t change nothing either, but I need you to know, you can always change, of you find the right person.

Somehow those words stayed with Xiaojun. They made him feel weird. Change? How?

Hour after hour, day after day, and he still had not found the answers he was looking for. He walked home, leaving his car by the High court. Fresh air would help him think. Passing by the church, he made a d-tour. It’s like the god himself drove him to come to confess.

Inside the church, he sat in the cabin. Pastor Kun on the other side.

-I don’t know how to change.

-Why do you need to change? – Pastor asked.

-I have hurt the person I was supposed to care for, - he breathed in, - I shouldn’t have done that… she deserves more than that.

-Now the more important question is what are you willing to do for her to change this? Don’t you think?

-I know, father, but how do I change?

-Remember, when you are a child, your parents taught you everything… this time you both have to teach each other something, starting with small things, baby steps, smaller and then bigger. Slowly, you have to accommodate each other, start with trust, continue with anger issues, and so on…

-Yes, - Xiao said, - I will make sure she is cared for, she is loved, and I will make her happy.

Pastor Kun smiled on the other side. Xiao was a tough man, but he had a heart of gold.

-Thank you, - Xiaojun said, and then he left, going back home to you.

You had just made dinner, washing a pot, when Xiao’s arms trapped you in a back hug.

-I am sorry for hurting you, - he spoke, - I will try to master my issues if you’d let me.

You touched his hands with your wet ones. Xiao cringed.

-Let’s start with this, - you said, giggling, - fluids.

-Nope, - he tried to step back, - not ready for this, - but you didn’t let him. You turned around grabbing onto him and wiping your nose in his chest. – what the hell!!!

He was getting angry, but then he tried to suppress it down, instead of bursting out in anger, his hands grabbed your bottom. You thought, you might play a little, let some of that Anna’s personality slip through. You licked your lips, and Xiao raised his eyebrows.

-No, - he warned, - whatever you are about to do, don’t… - he warned again.

-Yes, - you said back.

-No no, - he shook his head.

-Yes, I have to, - you laughed a bit, wetting your lips again, and then you did it. Your lips reached his.

A wet smooch on his lips, the wetter the better, your saliva coating his dry ones. He had closed his eyes in the process. You leaned in again, doing the same over and over again. He was cringing so badly, you actually felt bad for the guy.

God knows, what his family had pumped into his system.

-This is natural, - and then the unimaginable happened, he kissed you back, his mouth drinking from yours, and your tongue asked for entry in his mouth, now both tongues touching each other, plenty of spit shared now.

Days passed. Just like this. You- trying your best to ease Xiao into all the things he despised, some even so ridiculous, and he kept warning you, that you apparently “make him angry” all the time. But it was not it. You started to develop feelings for him in the weirdest ways possible. Somewhat like a Stockholm syndrome founds its way through someone who has been taken against their will, your body grew accustomed to his needs and his wishes. During the day he left for work, and after work, you tried to tease him with all sorts of weird crap.

This particular day you were feeling hungry for his attention. So, you did what you do best in a situation like this- cause trouble.

You went in his bedroom and swapped over a couple of books. You see, a normal person would not notice shit, but not him. Xiaojun would notice that near enough as he would walk through the door. You greeted him when he came home.

-Dinner will be ready soon, - you announced.

-Ok, I will change my clothes and I will be down soon, - he smiled, touching your head and kissing your forehead. You watched him disappear, only to see him come out, - were you in my room?

You nodded “no”.

-Are you sure? – you nodded a “yes”, not saying nothing. He looked at you suspiciously, - is there something you are not telling me?

-I don’t think so, - you said, and walked back into the kitchen.

Xiao didn’t bother changing clothes, he went straight for you, pressing you against the kitchen counter.

-What are you doing? – he asked again.

-I don’t know what do you mean? – you faked innocence. He leaned in, his lips nearly brushing against yours.

-Are you sure? – he teased you now.

-Mmh, - you nodded. He giggled letting you go.

-You are making me crazy, - he whispered.

-I love you.

The three words that you were hiding from him all this time, managed to slip passed your lips. Xiao stopped in his tracks. What did you say?

He trapped you again in his arms.

-What did you say? – he leaned closer, and you were looking everywhere but not him.

-I…, - you struggled, his hand reached for your face, and he was holding your chin up to see into his eyes, his loving eyes, how he scrunched his nose when you did something to tease him, how his eyebrows raised when you pretended to be someone else, just to see his reaction, - I love you…

He smiled with his eyes, his lips widening in a grin, he felt like a douchebag, but he knew what was next for you both, so his lips touched yours in a loving manner, starting to kiss you slowly, just barely touching your lips in the process.

You on the other hand felt like you were thirsty, and you joined in, grabbing onto Xiaojun’s body, kissing him passionately. He put your legs around his hips, taking you with him up the stairs. His lips were now attacking your neck, and grabby hands- your butt in the process.

Once on his bed, he got rid of his jacket and shirt, leaving him in a tank top, and getting back to what he was doing. You stopped in between to get rid of some of the clothing, when he had left you only in your bra and trackies, his body was on top of yours, his lips returning to yours.

-Xiao…- you whispered, he looked up, - I… I haven’t done this… with anyone…. Yet.

He didn’t look surprised. For some reason he always had assumed that you hadn’t, maybe it was just the way he saw you at first, and then, he just never bothered to ask.

-I am ok with that, - he smiled, - only if you are.

You nodded eagerly. Minutes later, he had gotten rid of your trousers, your panties on display. His arms caressed your skin, he was extra gentle and slow, to prove that you could trust him, and he would only continue if you would nod or reach for him, which you did. Your hands found themselves in his hair, pulling him closer to your own hungry body.

His hands travelled south, slipping past the waistline of your underwear, going down on your sex, you nearly bit him, since no one had touched you there, this was a new sensation, and it was making your body tingle and your heart rate going up.

-It’s ok, I just have to stretch you a bit, if that’s alright with you, - you nodded, feeling how his fingers were moving up and down on your lower lips. You knew that he is not really ok with body fluids, but for some reason he didn’t mind your wet lips nor your dripping sex.

-I should ask you the same thing, - you giggled, getting more comfortable at his touch, he smiled back.

-You might just be the reason, why it’s ok, - he replied, as simple as that.

One of his fingers found your entrance and eased its way inside, your walls snug around it. You had closed your eyes; it was making you nervous and excited. While moving one of his fingers inside your tight walls, he soon added another one. You grabbed onto his arm.

-Give me a moment, - you whispered, the feeling making your head spin, - can… can I be on top when we do this?

Xiao was surprised. Not once he had heard a request like that, but he nodded anyways, soon you had changed positions, your legs spread over his lap, his fingers working their way inside your pussy, coaxing moans from you.

-Oh, don’t stop, - you whispered, biting your lip, - please… don’t stop…

And he didn’t, he worked hard to get you to orgasm, not slowing down till you came down from your high, now completely sat on his lap. His lips found yours. Tender lips brushing yours, quiet whispers leaving his mouth to make sure you were good.

When your hands reached for his pants, it was clear that you were ok to continue, and he let you play a little bit, his hand helping you work on his member through his pants.

He moved you off his body, so he could get rid of his trousers, his dick standing proud, a happy trail towards it that you hadn’t noticed before. You gulped. How is he going to fit? Like how?

Xiao got you out of your thoughts, with his own hand, returning to his member, massaging it, you felt your throat dry out a bit. Alright, watching a porn was completely different to what was in front of you now. Then the idea of a horrible sex scene found its way to your mind, and you had to shake your head to get rid of it. No time for that bull.

He reached for you, to kiss you again, then slowly moving back to the cupboard next to his bed, taking out a condom and slowly slipping it on, then sitting back down on the bed, helping you get on top of him again. He pushed you down slightly, so your pussy lips were grinding on his naked member, sparks of pleasure went through you. You looked down and helped him position himself right under your entrance. The tip of his cock was now slowly pressing into you, your hands were on Xiao’s shoulders for stability, grabbing a bit strongly onto him now.

Xiao let you move on your own accord, watching your reaction as you sank down lower on him.

-Help me, - you whispered, and he helped to push your hips down, his dick penetrating your virgin vaginal walls, and you sank down with a hiss. A tear escaped your eyes, Xiao kissed it away, his hands caressing your sides and your back, till you nodded with a quiet “I’m ok”. The stretch was something new, a bit painful, a bit extraordinary, if you could call it that.

Xiao’s lips kissed yours, then your neck and lower to your front, just above your breasts, his hand touched one of your breasts, groping and massaging, and his lips latched onto your nipple. Your head fell back, enjoying the feeling, and your hips started to move. The burn you felt in your abdomen, was slowly fading away, your vagina pulsing around Xiao’s member, and he helped you find a rhythm. You knew, you won’t be able to keep up for much longer, but you had to make sure, you were comfortable enough to give into him completely.

He let you enjoy your ride, but then he said:

-That’s it, - and with that he flipped you over, your body under his, - you had your fun… now it’s my turn…

The lovemaking sounds were in the air, with tender kisses, slow and sensual movements, his hand touched yours, fingers entangled with yours, and his eyes searched for your eyes, the feelings felt even on a higher level. The eye contact made it even more personal, not only because this was your first time, but it was also Xiao who made it special for you.

Changing the rhythm to faster movements, coaxing more moans out of you, that he swallowed with hot kisses over your mouth, he felt you tightening around him one more time, as you orgasmed, your lips not making a single sound, only when Xiao returned to continue his pelvic thrusts to chase his own high, you moaned and screamed, driving him into oblivion, and him taking you with him, your body convulsing and turning into a hot lava, bursting at the seam, while his hot seed filled up the condom.

He held you tight against him as you both were trying to catch your breath, he pulled out slowly, earning a whine from you.

-Let’s get you cleaned up, - he said, but you didn’t allow him to move.

-Not yet, - you giggled, - stay a bit more… - your body was sweaty, and so was his, and he was not happy about it at all.

-Y/N, - he warned you.

-Yes…? – you laughed again, - too much body fluid? – you giggled, earning a sigh from Xiaojun. – if we have a bath, I will want to make you dirty again soon after that…

You said that as a fact, and Xiao shook his head.

-Ok, - he gave in, hugging you again. – but only because you asked so nicely.

-See, it’s not that bad…

-Oh, it’s bad, - he replied, - and I am still not used to this.

-But you will be…? – you smiled, kissing him.

-I will be.

#wayv smut #wayv fan fic #wayv xiaojun #wayv #wayv xiao #nct smut #nct fiction #nct fan fiction #dyvlony series #nct xiaojun #nct 2020 #wayv fanfic #nct imagine #nct scenarios

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leejungchans · 4 years

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juliet’s relationships with ateez.

they’re so beautiful i’m gonna fucking cryhdjhfjshsjs i’m going through it 💔

#HONGJOONG; (HONGLIET)

juliet is the self-proclaimed favourite child of hongjoong

she was very shy pre-debut and was scared of clashing with him, so they never fought

they became a lot closer when she asked hongjoong to help her with her rapping; she was always trained to be a vocalist so she thought her rapping needed work and (shyly) approached him asking for his advice

as they became more comfortable with each other, she learnt to honestly communicate her thoughts with him

makes sure hongjoong doesn’t overwork himself; brings him food, coffee, or just accompanies him silently when he’s working; will not hesitate to use her sad puppy eyes to convince him to go back to their dorm so he can get proper rest

she always looks on with a very proud smile when she hears hongjoong speaking in english; he picked up a little bit of her aussie accent too :>

actually doesn’t mind being a little shorter than him but she wears platform shoes a lot to tease him; he has jokingly threatened to throw them away

she is very worried about his scalp; but she loved his red and blue hair, and of course the famous mullet

with hongjoong especially it’s literally “juliet see, juliet do” :c

hongjoong dotes on juliet especially because she will always be a baby in his eyes; when they first met she was around 15, so he has always been really gentle with her; he looks after her extremely well

never lets her pay for anything despite her protests

she wants to treat him to stuff too :<

overall a very wholesome relationship

#SEONGHWA; (HWALIET)

another very, very wholesome relationship

he’s so, so gentle with her but will goof around with her too :(((

is the one who brings snacks, an extra jacket or blanket for her because she always forgets

when they first debuted, juliet would be very uneasy before public appearances because of the hate and comments she’d get; seonghwa was always there to calm her down and support her

when she was still in school he would nag her to do her homework hajshwjsj

she’s close with all the boys’ family but perhaps the closest with seonghwa’s and will sometimes visit his family with him during breaks!!

seonghwa is usually the first person juliet goes to if she’s having a bad day

she clings to him a lot, like, a lot; she will attach herself to his arm like a koala any chance she gets

sharing almost identical disgusted expressions

he always makes sure she’s eating; he gets sad if she doesn’t

late night talks with warm tea

each other’s #1 hype man; as much as she acts disgusted when seonghwa does aegyo or purposefully acts sexy, you can always hear her cheering him on in the background

that doesn’t mean she doesn’t tease him though

“excuse me, please put your tongue away” “mY hiPs aRe fLeXibLe” “sO hAwT” “wOw, AmAziNg” “...please stop”

#YUNHO; (JUNHO)

two babies

juliet lives to see yunho smile and it’s her life’s mission to make sure he stays happy forever

yunho always gives her piggyback rides

the height difference between these two is the funniest thing ever because she isn’t even that short but she always looks like a dwarf next to yunho

“uh...excuse me, you’re forgetting something :/” “huh? ohhh...[crouches down to match her height]” “thank you :D”

yunho brings out juliet’s happiest side effortlessly because it’s just impossible to be sad around him

that being said, yunho is her designated giant teddy bear whenever she’s sad

they always start dancing out of nowhere

you will hear her whooping and cheering very loudly in the background whenever yunho twerks and stuff

yunho’s fellow harry potter fan

he likes pinching her cheeks, patting her head and playing with her hair

but if he tries to use her head as an armrest she will kick him (out of love :3)

#YEOSANG; (SANGLIET)

someone save ateez from these two because they love roasting everyone

will not hesitate to roast each other as well

best friends who judge people together

when the others say or do something questionable, you can sometimes see yeosang and juliet exchange looks or hide their faces from secondhand embarrassment

little beans who get shy easily :(

she is yeosang’s biggest hype man; he could literally just be breathing and she will still go “wow, a living statue, absolutely breathtaking” “an angel sent to us from the heavens above” “yes, vocal king! yes, dance legend!”

they do everything in tiny :((((((((

they dance to the ponytail song together

she loves his birthmark so much and practically tells him that every day; she thinks it makes him even more beautiful and unique

he likes her cooking a lot so she always makes him food and lets him help out

“please don’t cut off your finger...” “do fingers grow back?” “i don’t know but i don’t want to find out from you.”

The™ best comedic duo but no one is ready to admit that yet

#SAN; (JUSAN)

juliet constantly judges san jokingly but she’s honestly just as chaotic

he once spun her ipad on his finger and almost dropped it; she didn’t speak to him for an hour

like hongjoong, san also picked up on her aussie accent a bit

juliet goes :OOOO every time san shows off his martial arts skills

if they’re not wreaking havoc together, then one of them is filming the other wreaking havoc alone while laughing hysterically behind the camera

she looks up to san so, so much; the way he improved his dancing tremendously through hard work and determination inspires her deeply

they learn other groups’ choreographies together

hypes the other up for everything

loves his voice so much; listens to him sing with heart eyes and vice versa

so, so clingy :((( they’re just tiny babies who need a lot of love and affection

juliet loves san so much and it breaks her heart knowing that he struggles with self-esteem like she does; they have a lot of deep talks where they talk for hours in the dark

#MINGI; (2MIN)

2Min!!!!!! 🥺

a giant and a baby

that only applies to their heights, though; because they’re both babies personality-wise

juliet is either being loud and dumb with him or she’s going “ahsjajsj please stop, we’re idols •_•”; there is no in between

she’d let mingi give her more piggyback rides but the first time he gave her one he almost dropped her

juliet never shuts up about how good mingi is at rapping and dancing; she’ll tell you that at least once a day

“anyways, mingi is such a good rapper and dancer. did i mention how phenomenal he is? because he is the best rapper and dancer :]”

whenever juliet sings/dances, mingi always looks on very proudly

“our main vocalist/dancer, everyone!”

her designated giant teddy bear number 2

like with hongjoong, she makes sure mingi is eating and sleeping because he works a lot too :(

it makes mingi really happy when she tries to rap his parts

juliet is the leader of the mingi protection squad, if you hurt him she’ll actually k word you in your sleep

#WOOYOUNG; (2YOUNG)

2Young; when they get paired up together for stuff, they introduce themselves with “2!” “Young!”

dear god, they are so loud

she’s either the first one shushing him or the others are telling both of them to shut up

wooyoung screams a lot so to juliet the only solution is to be even louder

siblings who annoy each other but also love the other to bits and will kill for each other

one time they did a v-live together and an atiny pointed out how when juliet says “no” it sounds like “noerrrrr”; wooyoung hasn’t let it go since and clowns her for it every chance he gets

one minute they’re bickering over something stupid and the next they’re cuddling on the sofa and laughing at random stuff on their phones

wooyoung teases her for literally everything, from her height to her australian accent; it’s a miracle she hasn’t killed him yet

“wooyoung dance king!”

she loves his vocals so much :(

she also loves his laugh; she thinks it’s very contagious and it always makes her laugh even harder

very clingy pt.2 :(((((

they like to cook together; despite juliet’s constant teasing, she genuinely loves his cooking

the biggest army’s

the duo that has everyone wrapped around their fingers

#JONGHO; (JONGLIET)

they’re the youngest ones so they’re bound to be chaotic together

they have a secret handshake!!

since they’re the only ones who don’t share a birth year with anyone in the group, they call themselves the “21st century duo”

another tom-and-jerry relationship but they love each other to bits i promise :’)

high note battles that make the others go •_•

their duets though :’)))) a blessing

when they sang miss a’s “good-bye baby” together at mama 2019

vocal legends

jongho always use the fact that she’s the youngest against her, especially when they’re asked to do aegyo

“i think the maknae should do it >:)” “jongHO SHUTUPJAGSJAJS”

“well, he’s the youngest among the boys, so i think he should go too”; cue his look of ultimate betrayal

imagine her face when she saw his red hair for the first time :(

“omgomgomg now you’re a real apple!!!” :(((((

more piggyback rides!!

okay, but juliet is honestly so grateful for jongho; they’re the closest in age so it’s always very easy for her to talk to him and she loves him a lot :’(

they understand each other very deeply and usually they don’t need to exchange words to know what the other is thinking/feeling

she can overthink a lot and in those moments he’s her voice of reason and is always there to help her through those times

partners in crime :>

#about.juliet #ateez 9th member #ateez ninth member #kpop oc #idol oc #ateez oc #kpop addition #idol addition #ateez addition #kpop imagines #idol imagines #ateez imagines #kpop au #idol au #ateez au

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waitimcomingtoo · 4 years

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I know requests are closed but I’m obsessed with this Olympic ice dancing duo, they’ve been skating for 20 years since they were 7 and 9 and the guy is always saying she’s his favourite person and how beautiful she is and their chemistry is so intense and their body language just says they’re in love but it was announced that he is engaged to another woman and I’m sad and waiting for them to realise they’re in love! I was wondering if you could write something along these lines with Tom? Ily 💙

I love this idea. I pulled inspiration from Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue interviews and from Little Women.

One Man Cult

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Synopsis: You and Tom are inseparable ice skating duo who aren’t as inseparable as you thought

Masterlist

“This unrequited love, to me it’s nothing but a one man cult.” - Frank Ocean

Tom had been your ice skating partner for 20 years now. You’d come a long way from the frozen pond behind your house to an Olympic ice skating rink. The way you two skated was pure art. You moved impossibly in synch as you floated over the ice together, winning competition after competition together. Tom had never once dropped you or let you down due to your powerful connection to each other. He was always there to lift you, dip you, spin you, and you carry you around the ice as you danced to the music. Your undeniable chemistry and endearing friendship made you and Tom the most popular team in the Olympics on social media, but it was your powerful skating that made you the most decorated skaters in history.

After every competition, with the medals you wore around your neck clanging together, Tom always picked you up bridal style to carry you off the ice. He’d been doing it since he was nine and he’d do it until the last day he ever skated. You were always met with a rush of cameras and microphones from journalists who wanted to know just as much about your relationship as they did your performance.

Your most notable interview was when you appeared on Ellen together after winning gold medals in the Olympics. Your fans campaigned for you to be on the show and Ellen happily complied. Despite the large couch, you and Tom sat practically on top of each other. He had one arm secure around your waist and the other resting on your knee. In return, you had both hands on top of his, giving them a gentle squeeze whenever you felt butterflies in your tummy.

“Y/n, Tom, how did you two meet?” Ellen began the interview.

“We met when I was 7 and he was 9 because we were neighbors. We formed this unbreakable connection and we’ve been best friends since then.” You answered, looking at Tom for most of your speech. “I honestly don’t even remember my life before him. We started skating on the pond outside our houses and realized we both had a love as well as a talent for it.”

“Wow. That’s 20 years now.” Ellen nodded in admiration. “You guys must be very close.”

“Oh, definitely. I know everything about him and he knows everything about me. I can’t imagine not being with him everyday. We’re a family.” You smiled as Tom squeezed your hip, feeling the nerves melt away at his touch.

“Yeah, we’re very very close. I live for Y/n.” Tom chimed in and the audience melted.

“And there was never a romance? No feelings for the other?” Ellen asked skeptically.

“Uh-“ Tom scratched his neck, looking at you.

“Nope. Just a really close friendship.” You nodded.

“Does Tom know that?” Ellen teased and both your faces flushed as the audience laughed.

“I ask because you guys clearly have a lot a chemistry together as we see on the ice but your fans see a little more than just chemistry. They see a romance between the two of you.” Ellen said as a picture of you and Tom flashed on the screen. It was a photo of your last performance, and you were sitting on his knee with your hands pressing his forehead against yours. He had one hand around you waist and the other gripping your thigh. The audience laughed and ooo’d at the picture and you hid your face in Toms neck for a moment.

“Oh shoot. Maybe we are a couple.” You joked and felt Tom laugh beside you.

“Did you know we were a couple? That’s crazy. I had no idea.” Tom teased back. You laughed at his joke and he smiled at your laughter, throwing an arm around your shoulders and kissing your temple.

“So you are a couple?” Ellen asked as a different picture came on screen, a close up this time. You had both hands on Toms face and he had his firmly on your back with your legs wrapped around his waist, lips almost touching. The audience laughed again and Ellen’s point was made.

“No. We’re not. We’re just a really great team.” Tom confirmed as he looked at you. “Y/n is my favorite person in the world. There is no one I admire or love more. I mean, I’ve loved this girl since I was 9. We have such a deep love for each other and an unbreakable connection that I know I could never find anywhere else. She’s my soulmate, really. I’m so lucky I get to spend 23 hours a day with her.”

“What’s the other hour?” Ellen asked.

“Icing wounds and bathroom breaks.” You and Tom said in unison, earning a chuckle from Ellen and the audience.

“We really do take it as a compliment though. If that many people see us performing and think we’re a couple in love, then I think we’re doing something right.” Tom continued. “I think all the romance rumors speak to our chemistry and ability to portray a romance as we skate together.”

“Exactly. And we really do love each other.” You said as a third picture came up, you and Tom hugging tightly after a performance. You and your arms secure around his neck and he was lifting you off the ground. “We’ve spent the last 20 years building this partnership and it’s so rewarding to see where it’s taken us. I’m just really lucky I could go on this journey with Tom at my side. My favorite moments are always after the performance, when the crowd is cheering and the music stopped and it feels like there’s no one in the world but me and Tom.” You said as you gazed into Toms eyes. He couldn’t resist kissing your forehead, in no way helping the conversation.

“So you are a couple?” Ellen repeated and the audience chuckled again.

That’s how interviews often went, but some reporters wanted a different story.

“Where’s your other half?” A reporter asked when Tom came off the ice rink alone. He was met with a dozen more reporters and took a seat on a foldable chair to answer the questions.

“I know!” He laughed. “She’s getting changed. It feels so weird to be interviewed without her. Don’t worry though, she’ll be here shortly.”

“While we have you, we do have some questions.” Another reporter spoke up.

“Go for it.” Tom smiled.

“What makes Y/n a good partner?” They asked.

“Y/n is honestly just a perfect person. I love everything about her. She’s my best friend in the entire world. She’s so beautiful and so so dedicated to our work. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner.” Tom said sincerely into a camera.

“You never considered trying you luck as a solo act?” A different reporter tried to instigate drama and Tom quickly shut him down.

“I couldn’t go solo because I myself am not a solo act. Y/n is my other half on and off of the ice. I couldn’t imagine my life without her.” Tom replied suavely.

“Hi! Am I interrupting?” You asked as you walked over to Tom. He smiled happily as the sight of you and reached out a hand to guide you over to where he was.

“Here, we can pull up a chair for you.” A reporter offered but you politely held up a hand.

“That’s okay.” You shook your head as you sat comfortably on Toms lap. He wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder.

“We were just asking Tom if either of you ever considered going solo?” You were asked.

“Oh, never.” You laughed. “I don’t exist if I’m not with Tom. We’re connected. I could never not be with him.” You turned over your shoulder to look at him and he smiled at you before pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“You two seem very close. Y/n, you wouldn’t date him?” A reporter asked and you laughed in surprise.

“Maybe.” You shrugged to appease them.

“Wow. I’ve known her for 20 years and we’ve been getting interviewed for maybe 10 now and that’s the first time I’ve gotten a “maybe”. Must be my lucky day.” Tom joked and squeezed you tightly. His answer seemed to satisfy the reporters and they left you alone.

A rough patch of ice and a broken ankle sent you to the hospital for a week and benched from the ice for two months. Unfortunately, the injury came in June, right as Tom was scheduled to return home for a holiday with his family. It killed him to leave you alone, but he knew with his busy schedule he’d never be able to reschedule.

“Go. Your family is counting on you.” You promised him from your hospital bed. He shook his head at you.

“You’re my family.” He insisted.

“I’ll be fine. Go. Be with them.” You told him, but he still looked unsure.”

“I’ll miss you. Can’t you come with me?” He whined. You laughed at his childish behavior.

“The doctor said I can’t fly with my cast.” You reminded him as you looked down at your bright pink cast. It had one signature, Toms name is a big heart. “It’ll be okay. We’re not attached at the hip. We can handle a few weeks apart.” You assured him.

“I don’t know if I can.” Tom laughed sadly and took your hand.

“You’ll survive.” You touched his cheek and he leaned into your palm.

“Without you? Impossible.” He smirked and pressed a kiss to your palm.

The three week vacation was extended by four weeks when Toms grandmother fell ill. Still not able to fly with your cast, you had to result to FaceTiming at 4 am just to get a hold of him. Being without Tom was strange enough, but he was acting stranger. His brothers told you he went out most nights and came back at odd times. His mom told you he wasn’t looking well, but brushed it off as a minor cold.

“I’m sure he’s just used to you keeping him in check, making sure he’s hydrated and getting enough sleep and all that. He’s probably just overwhelmed and being without you is making it harder. I wouldn’t worry too much.” His mother assured you but you still worried. It’s been 7 weeks since you’d seen him and you hated every second of it.

The day your cast was taken off, you got on the first flight to the UK. You didn’t get to Toms house until late, but Harry told you he was home. You climbed into his first story window and he jumped in surprise when he saw you

“Y/n?” Tom asked in shock at the sight of you.

“Hi Tommy.” You kept your voice low so you wouldn’t disturb his family as you jumped into his arms.

“What are you doing here? I thought you couldn’t fly?” He asked as he held you tightly, taking in your scent once again.

“Doctor cleared me this morning.” You held up you healed foot with a proud smile.

“I didn’t know you’d gotten your cast taken off.” Tom said, a little disappointed he wasn’t aware of all the details of your life anymore.

“Well, it’s been pretty hard to get a hold of you lately.” You said a little sadly. “God, what’s it been, like two months? I’ve missed you so much. Sit, tell me everything.” You guided him to his bed and sat down with him.

“My grandmothers doing a lot better. They’re gonna release her from the hospital soon.” Tom said and you noticed he was beginning to sweat.

“That’s great Tom. I’m so happy to hear that.” You ignored his stiffness and rubbed his shoulder.

“Thanks.” He sighed and brushed a strand of hair away from your face, looking incredibly torn with himself. “Y/n-“

“I’m really happy to see you, Tommy.” You interrupted him. “I know I was the one saying we could stand being apart for a few weeks, but I honestly couldn’t last another day of this. I never realized how much I wanted to see you everyday. You’re a huge part of my life and it’s been so weird not seeing y-“

“I’m engaged.” He blurted, cutting you off. You blinked in surprise at his sudden announcement.

“What?” You laughed shortly, trying to read his face but the room was too dark.

“I met her over the summer when I came home and she fell in love with me. She asked if I wanted to get married and I said yes.” Tom continued in the same flat, emotionless tone. “She’s going to be my wife.”

“What?” You repeated, still not believing him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but my mind is made up.” Tom continued as if he wasn’t telling you the most outrageous thing you’d ever heard. He stood up, unable to look at you for a moment.

“I’m sorry, can we go back a second?” You got up as well and walked to him. “You’ve known her what, two months? Three?”

“One. We met in July.” Tom said quietly and you scoffed.

“You can’t possibly be serious.” You said gravely. Tom wiped his nose on his sleeve and nodded.

“I am.” He told you, a sad gleam in his eyes. “She wants to be married by Christmas.”

“Well what do you want?” You asked, looking for a different answer then what you were getting.

“Whatever she wants is fine by me.” He said robotically and you felt nauseous.

“I’ve never even met her.” You pointed out. More importantly, she’d never met you. You exactly a minor note in Toms symphony. You guys lived as a duet and now he was trying to rewrite the chorus without asking you first.

“You will. I’m going to introduce to her everyone. My family, my friends, you. You’ll get to know her.” Tom said as if he was trying to convince himself more than you.

“Oh so your family hasn’t met her either?” You laughed bitterly. “Do they even know she exists?”

“I’ll tell them.” He said, and you knew he was ashamed.

“Tom, what?” You asked gently, going easier on him now that you know he was upset. “Your family doesn’t even know? What’s going on? This isn’t like you.” You tilted his chin towards you and made him look at you. As soon as his eyes met yours, they filled with tears.

“What, just because I’ve never had a girlfriend before means I can’t have one now?” He asked with a defeated shrug.

“You have had girlfriends before.” You reminded him and he shook his head.

“Have I?” He laughed sadly. “I’ve tried, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t date anyone else knowing that they’d never…”

“Never what?” You stroked his cheek lightly, pleading with him for an answer to his madness. “Tom.” You urged when he hesitated to answer.

“Never compare to you.” He gripped your wrist as teared ran down his cheeks. You looked at him in confusion and tried to search his face again. He was making less and less sense.

“What are you talking about?” You whispered and Toms lip trembled.

“If you’re gonna stand in front of me right now and pretend there hasn’t been something between us for the last 20 years then you might as well just leave now.” Tom said through gritted teeth. You felt the wind knocked out of you and took a step back, withdrawing your hands and holding yourself tightly.

“Thomas…” You breathed.

“I can’t find another my heart will beat for. I can’t do it.” Tom cried in pain. “I have loved you since I was nine years old and it’s killing me. I can’t move on. I can’t think, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. This unrequited love is destroying me.” He sobbed. “And I swear to you, I will never love anyone more and nothing has to change between us as partners but…” ,his lip trembled as he hesitated, “but I’m lonely! We spend all day together but I want to spend the nights too. I’m in love with you, Y/n. We have something incredibly rare between us. Can’t you see that? Please tell me you see that.”

You stayed silent as tears slipped out of his eyes, not having any clue what to say.

“Please?” He whispered at your silence.

“I do see it.” You touched his cheek lightly and he smiled in hope. “I see a beautiful and loving friendship between two people, Tom I’m sorry-“ he threw your hands off his cheeks and turned his back to you.

“I thought you felt the same. You’re always going on about the connection we have. Every friend of mine, all my brothers even your own mother told me there was no way you didn’t feel the same.” Tom sniffled. “The whole world sees something between us. They’ve seen it since we were kids. How is it that everyone sees it but you?” He looked at you over his shoulder.

“I just don’t, Tom. I’m sorry. If I could change it, I would.” You put a hand on his back and rubbed his shoulder blade with your thumb. “I love you so much, but not in that way. Not in the way you want me too. Not in the way you deserve.”

“You tell me I deserve it but then tell me not to marry this girl?” He turned around again and you saw how red and puffy his face was. You tried to reach out to him but he pushed your hands away.

“You don’t deserve a half baked engagement to some girl you met a month ago.” You said. “You deserve someone who knows everything about you, little things and big things, and someone loves you deeply and unconditionally. Someone you have a connection with.” You were as upset as he was now.

“Is that not you?” He cocked his head.

“Of course it’s me. Just not romantically. You have all my love, Thomas. I swear to you, my hearts beats just for you. Is that not enough?” You cried and he looked down at the floor.

“I would have you.” He said in defeat, nodding his head as he looked up at you. “If it were enough, I would have you.”

“You’re always gonna have me-“

“-I love you.” He cut in.

“-maybe not in the way that you want but that doesn’t mean-“

“-I love you.” He said again, as if he was accepting it.

“-we can’t continue being friends. You’re still my favorite person-“

“Just not the person you want to be with?” He asked with a sad smile.

“I’m sorry.” Was all you could give him.

“Don’t be. My bad for assuming, right?” He shuffled his feet and you felt more tears rising in your eyes.

“Can we talk about this? Please?” You begged, worrying if you ended this conversation it’d be the last one you ever had with him.

“I’ve said all I’ve had to say. What about you?” Tom shrugged and wiped his eyes.

“We need to be adults about this, Tom.” You grabbed his hand to keep him in the room. He looked down at your hands for a long time before squeezing yours and looking at you tearfully in the eyes.

“I can’t be anything but in love with you.” He said with a sad smile.

“Then why are you marrying her?” You asked him desperately.

“Because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone.” He told you.

“You’re not alone. You have me.” You held your intertwined hands against your chest, kissing the back of his hand.

“Do I?” He asked and dropped your hand, slamming the door behind him as he left the room.

The next few months leading up to Christmas had an ice between you and Tom that chilled the country. The distance between the two of you wasn’t noticeable enough to hurt your scores on the ice, but it was unbearable when you weren’t working. He wouldn’t talk to you, wouldn’t even look at you. Conversations never lead back to that night in his bedroom, no matter how hard you tried to lead them there. Tom went on as if it never happened, as if he never confessed his feelings for you.

You on the other hand, were given plenty of time to reflect. In those few months, you realized you’d never love anyone as you loved Tom, and in return, no one would ever love you the way he always had. You’d been so consumed in being his best friend that you hadn’t realized you wanted to be more. You knew there was no one in the world you could imagine spending the rest of your life with other than Tom. He was your soulmate, and you were his. Your heart broke as you knew you came to the conclusion too late. He was engaged to another girl. He was happy now, or so he claimed. So instead of confessing your feelings, you kept your mouth shut and let him distance himself from you.

It was different on the ice. Neither of you could conceal how you felt. Your chemistry was still evident and radiated off every leap and turn. With your newly realized love for him, your skating became even cleaner and more passionate. You were at the lowest point in your relationship but at the highest in your careers. You spend endless hours with Tom, practicing, performing, and being interviewed. Interviews turned awkward fast whenever Toms engagement was brought up. The rest of the world was as confused as you were.

“So Tom, you’re engaged?” A reporter asked and the room quieted down.

“Yes, I am.” Tom said stiffly. You tended up at his side and faked a smile.

“And not to Y/n?” The reporter joked. You felt your face flush, and not in the wya it usually did when you were questioned about your relationship with Tom.

“I was just was surprised as you were.” Tom said with sad laughter. You wanted to place a hand on his knee but decided against it in fear of rejection.

“How did you react, Y/n?” The reporter asked you.

“Yeah, I was surprised too. When I thought about my future with Tom and all the milestones I imagined we’d reach together, this was never a apart of the plan.” You laughed nervously. “I never saw this coming.”

On December 19, the church was set for Toms wedding. You sat in your seat with your leg bouncing nervously as his bride walked down the isle.

You couldn’t handle the smug look she gave you as she passed.

You couldn’t handle the stares of pity from everyone around you.

You couldn’t handle the somber look Tom had on his face as his eyes bore into yours.

You really couldn’t handle the feeling inside of you that told you you were making a terrible mistake.

Unable to handle being silent about your feelings anymore, you stood up. You locked eyes with Tom and gave him the most sincere look of an apology you could give him. He nodded and you took that as your cue to run out of the church.

“If anyone has any objections as to why these two should wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.” The priest read.

“I do.” Tom blurted.

“No no, you don’t say that yet, son.” The priest chuckled.

“No, I do. I object.” Tom said and dropped the girls hands like they were poison. “I can’t marry you, I’m sorry.”

“Why not?” His bride, no longer to be, demanded. Tom looked at the priest apologetically and then at his family.

“Because I’m in love with someone else.” He said as he stared at your vacant seat. There were no gasps of shock, just sighs of relief.

“I’m sorry everyone.” He said and then gave one last look at the girl. “I’m so sorry.”

Tom ran down the steps on the alter and out the doors, laughing a little as he went.

“Y/n? Y/n, wait!” Tom screamed once he was out of the church. He slowed down to a halt and looked around for you, but didn’t see you anywhere. He blew out a breath of defeat, knowing he was too late. You didn’t wait. You hadn’t run for him. You just ran.

Tom dragged his feet as he made his way to his car. There was no way he could go back into the church. His only option was to go home. Once Tom approached his car, he could hear someone jiggling the door handle on the passenger side. Suddenly, an all too familiar friend of his popped up from behind the car.

“What took you so long? We gotta go.” You urged in a panic. Toms entire face lit up at the sight of you. He smiled fondly, just taking you in.

You had waited.

But it didn’t seem like you could wait much longer. Tom unlocked the car and hopped inside. You bunched up your dress and did the same. Tom started the car and you drove off without another word. Once you had left the church parking lot, he looked back and laughed.

“I can’t believe I just did that! I left a girl on the alter. ” Toms smile quickly faded. “Can you imagine how that must feel? She must be devastated. Oh my God, should we go back?” Tom was experiencing excitement, confusion and guilt all at once.

“You can turn back if you want.” You said calmly. It was the last thing you wanted to do, but you’d do it for him.

“No. No of course we can’t go back. I can’t marry her just because I feel guilty.” Tom said mostly to himself. “Especially when I don’t love her.”

“You don’t?” You asked, having already suspected that he didn’t.

“I never did. And I don’t suppose she loved me either.” He laughed softly. “We were just two lonely people who didn’t want to be lonely anymore.”

“You don’t have to be lonely ever again.” You put one of your hands on his thigh. Tom looked at you before picking up your hand and kissing the back of it. You smiled slightly as he continued to drive.

“Can I ask you something?” Tom said, breaking the silence.

“Anything.” You replied.

“How’d you know I’d run after you?” He wondered. “I could’ve gone through with it. I could’ve married her. You must’ve waited by my car for a reason. How did you know I’d come after you?”

“It was that look.” You admitted. “I saw it in your eyes when you were on the alter. You know how we always say we have a connection?”

“Yeah?” He asked with a shy smile.

“That was it. It was our connection. You knew I’d run. I knew you’d follow.” You explained before quieting down. “Why did you run?“ You asked timidly.

"I couldn’t have what I really wanted, so I settled for whatever girl let me put a ring on her finger.” Tom confessed as he kept his eyes on the road.

“I see.” You nodded, also looking ahead.

“What about you? Why did you run?” He snuck a glance at you.

“I guess I couldn’t have what I really wanted either, and I couldn’t sit around and pretend to be happy for someone else when I was miserable.” You told him. “It hurt too much. Especially when it was my fault that I was miserable.”

"What is it that you really wanted?” Tom questioned and you looked out the window.

“Poor girl is probably so embarrassed.” You mumbled, feeling genuinely sorry for the girl he left at the alter. “The whole country was rooting against her and they won. She didn’t get what she wanted either.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” Tom said, feeling his heart pick up speed when a tiny smirk appeared on your face.

“What was it again?” You asked, shifting to face Tom. If he wanted to go all those months avoiding the conversation, you weren’t gonna let him have it when it was finally convenient for him. He needed to work for it.

“You said you couldn’t have what you really wanted, so you were miserable. What was it that you really wanted?” Tom asked, looking at you for answers. It was the first time you had made and held eye contact since you both ran.

“What I wanted was you.” You confessed, and Tom slammed on his breaks.

“Get out of the car.” He ordered.

“What? Why?” You asked as you unbuckled your seatbelt.

“Out. Now.” He repeated.

You hastily got out of the car, seeing that he had stopped at a small elevated platform that looked over a river. You walked over to the railing and waited for Tom as he slammed his door shut and made his way over to you.

“Look, Tommy, I didn’t mean to upset you and if you could just let me explain-” Tom cut you off by wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into a long awaited kiss. You froze at this unexpected sign of affection, but quickly put your arms around his neck, where they belonged. Tom hugged you closer until there was no space between you.

You only broke apart to gasp for air. Tom smiled and pulled you into a hug, pressing a light kiss to your temple and holding you tight.

“I’ve missed you.” He said softly into your hair.

“I’ve missed you too. I’m sorry we fought.” You cried into his chest.

"Me too. I shouldn’t have sprung all that information on you at once. And I’m sorry I got mad for expecting you to figure out your feelings right away. I should’ve given you time.” He sniffled as he rubbed your back.

“I’m sorry too. And I do feel the same.” You pushed away from him a little so you could see him. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner.

"Let’s put that in the past. It doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is you and I, here and now.” Tom answered as he brushed your hair off your forehead.

“You look great, by the way. I never got to tell you that.” You complimented Tom as you fixed his tie.

“Thanks. I was more excited for the suit than I was for the wedding. It’s a shame it’s gonna go to waste.” He laughed lightly as an idea popped into your head.

“It doesn’t have to.” You realized.

“What do you mean?” He asked curiously.

“There’s a chapel about five miles from here.” Was all you said. Tom knew exactly what you were thinking. You grabbed his hand and you both ran for the car. Before you took off, Tom ran back to the railing and threw the flower in his lapel into the river, the flower that matched the brides bouquet. You laughed and applauded him as he got back into the car.

An hour later, you were officially married. You were slightly disappointed that your families couldn’t be there to see it, but Tom promised you that you could throw a huge wedding reception to celebrate your newly realized love later on. Before getting back into Tom’s jeep, you pulled your husband into a hug. Tom smiled and put his arms around his bride. You stayed in each other’s embrace for as long as you could, swaying gently as Tom hummed your favorite song. You were used to performing the most elaborate dance routines together, so this simple slow dance was nice. He was about to pull away when you hugged him tighter.

“Wait. Don’t let go.” You said and Tom put his arms back around you.

“I won’t.” He promised. “I won’t ever.”

Tag List 🏷

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#tom holland x reader #tom holland x yn #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #peter parker x reader #spiderman #iron man #tom holland fluff #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x skater!reader #scott moir #tessa virtue #peter parker fluff #peter parker x y/n #tom holland #tom holland angst

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universallywriting · 4 years

Text

Future

"I was thinking," Connie began casually, in such a casual way he knew in an instant that it wasn't casual at all. He was extra sure because it was coming during a fighting game. Connie regularly snuck in important things during fighting games, hoping he’d be too distracted to talk much about it.

Not today. He paused their game to look up at her from where she lay on his bed, very carefully avoiding his gaze. That couldn’t be good. "Since my gap year is ending, and I'm heading off to college, I had some thoughts about us. About you."

The announcement hit his belly like lead. He knew this was coming, after all. Connie had a career ahead of him and he still had, well… He had a better relationship with his family at twenty than he did at seventeen, and better mental health, even if he was doing absolutely nothing with it.

But Connie had a future, and he supported that. His voice stayed calm. "Oh yeah? What kind of thoughts?"

She looked at him then, sat up on his bed, took a deep breath, and spoke: "I know this is a lot, and I was going to drip it to you but I didn’t know how to start. So, I guess, the first thing I should say is that some college force you to live in the dorms for a year, but mine doesn't. Since it's a college town, there's all kinds of affordable housing, we could absolutely live together no matter what you choose, okay?"

He blinked, the weight on his chest suddenly gone and replaced with a lightness so intense he had to think about sad animal facts to keep himself from floating to the ceiling. "What?"

"No! You have to hear me out!" Connie dropped the controller and held up her hands frantically, and he gawked as she continued her panicked babble, "Okay, so, it's too late to apply, and I get why you didn't apply, and I maybe should have pushed, but I didn't want to push? That doesn't matter. The point is that most people get a degree to get a job, right? But you have lots of money, and there's literally a whole universe of stuff you could be doing, so you don't need a degree.”

Steven began, “I guess that’s-” but she cut him off, not done with her tirade.

"But you don't really know what you're doing right now, or what you want to do. And that's okay! Who even knows what they want to do for the rest of their lives at twenty?” She laughed nervously. “I’m a weirdo who figured out she likes art. Most people don’t! Most people actually change majors and spend more time in college. We’re all stupid, Steven. But college can be about figuring stuff out, too, and you don’t have to be accepted or waste money on that!"

“Breathe.” He laughed a little and put his hands on her shoulders. "What are you talking about?"

"You could audit classes. You could sit in on classes. I've been asking around." Her voice was still a little unsteady, words tumbling out, and Steven felt his throat starting to close up for a wholly different reason as she rambled off all the effort she had put in for him: "I've sent emails, done research, even reached out to professors about it. Basically everyone said they didn't care at all if someone just really wanted to learn and wanted to sit in the back of the class and not bother anyone!"

He shook his head. “You’re saying teachers would be okay with me hanging out in their classes because I can’t figure out what to do?”

She beamed and nodded eagerly. "Most of them were really flattered by it, actually. They love the idea of being so interesting someone would want to come to listen to them for free. Some college students already do that, just to learn about other majors for fun! You wouldn't do the assignments for grades or anything, but you could sit in and learn all kinds of stuff, see if something lights a fire in you, you know?"

"I don't get it. You're not... You don't want to take a break.” His eyes were burning, his lips slowly turning up into a smile. “You want me to come with you?"

"Of course I don't want to take a break!" she cried. Her eyes went wide and she rocked back from him, already starting to panic. "Do you want to take a break? Oh my gosh, and I've been going on about dragging you to college and living with you. Steven, I’m so-"

"No!" he yelped. His arms wrapped around her, hugging her close to his chest. Hearing her say it outloud, even in shock, was far worse than he had imagined. "No break. I don't want a break. Jam Buds forever."

She giggled, pulling back just enough for him to see her blushing face. "Okay. Good. Then what don't you get?"

"You asking me to come with you, doing all this research. I’m sorry I didn’t do any of it myself." Steven frowned and swallowed the lump in his throat. "You're about to start the rest of your life. Why are you wasting all this time on mine?"

"Because there's no version of the rest of my life that you're not in," she answered, calmly and matter of factly as his heart melted in his chest. Connie’s hand came up to push his forehead to hers, the casual embrace soft and warm as she reassured his doubts. "No matter what happens, we're together. Friends, daring, married, anything. If you're not a part of my future, it's not a future worth planning."

"You want me to come with you," he murmured in awe. "You really want me there."

Connie laughed. "Always. No matter what you pick, it's you and me, Steven. We’ve got a million futures ahead of us and in every single one, we're partners that do everything together. So, what do you say? Did any of that sound good?"

"It all sounded good," he said. But he would have to think it over. He'd have to carefully make a decision. And right then, his heart was full to bursting with love, so any decision he made would have been the one that let him nip at her heels like a puppy, lovesick and wandering wherever she decided to go.

But that wasn’t how things should work. She had followed his lead for years through gem stuff, and even if she took the lead on human things it was only to show him the possible paths. He couldn’t live his whole life for her, no matter how tempting that may have been in the quiet, intimate moments.

So, instead, he just climbed on top of the bed. He climbed on top of her, and she was warm and he was warm, and everything was the quiet melancholy that came with change, even when it was change for the better. They felt each other's heartbeats in the quiet beach house, the quiet two-beat sound whispering all the reassurances they needed to move ahead.

I love.

I live.

I'm here.

Ba-dum. Ba-dum. As soothing as the tide rolling out below.

#jamweek #steven universe #connie maheswaran #connverse

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beautifully-tuan · 4 years

Text

for my dream - 2

Mark Tuan x Reader arranged marriage!au , angst, eventual fluff word count: 1920

Masterlist ; Part 1

As soon as Mark gave his agreement, you were named CEO of your father’s company. It should have been the happiest day of your life, since you’ve always wanted this position, but you didn’t want it like this. Yet, as much as you hated this situation, you couldn’t say no, because it was the only way to save the company. If only your stupid brother hadn’t let his stupid girlfriend pry into the family business... She wouldn’t have scammed your father and Mark’s family, leaving the empire they’ve built to the critical state it’s in now. And, cherry on top, your father had initially planned to name your brother as the CEO. You opposed to his decision, reminding him that this whole mess was because of your brother himself. Things could only get worse if you let him step over. You couldn’t let the already declining business fall into such incompetent hands. With the energy of despair, you told your father you were qualified enough to take the lead, to which your father couldn’t argue. Everything you’ve ever done revolved around this company. Your brother was less than incompetent, and you were more than qualified.

And then the marriage deal came up. You knew it would lead to something like that, considering how complex the structure of the company is. The official account, which includes all the company’s acts and budget, is registered in Mark’s family’s name. It’s always been that way: your family deals with management and negotiations, while Mark’s family takes care of everything financial and investments related. Your and Mark’s father being CEO and co-CEO since the company was founded, that’s never been a problem. But due to recent events, and with the need of a new CEO, the latter should be able to run both sides of the company. If your brother had gotten this position, it would’ve been easy to convince the bank for a transfer of account. It’s always been highly considered for a man to run a company. However, you are a woman, and that makes it way more difficult. Nobody would take you seriously and your decisions on the use of the company’s funds would be limited, and that would only make everything worse. The only way to avoid such a disaster is to merge both families into one, so you can have legal access to the account no matter what. That’s why there’s no other alternative for you than to marry Mark. Your father made it clear to you that it was the only condition. You wanted to refuse, God knows you wanted to. But again, you couldn’t. Although you could feel your heart break inside your chest, you agreed.

As selfish as that was, you secretly hoped Mark would say no. If waiting for his response felt like agony, you considered yourself dead when he said yes. Without further awaiting, you took over the company and immediately started to clean after your brother’s mess, while preparing the wedding at the same time. Everyone said you weren’t obligated to help with the preparations, but you did it anyway, and it was honestly a living hell. You didn’t know what you were expecting from Mark in the first place, but he didn’t even try to be a little bit supportive. He despised you, it was written all over his face, and you could understand why. Although you could’ve put up a fight with him for acting as if he was the only one suffering from this situation, you felt too bad for him, so you let him be.

Mark acts no different during the wedding ceremony and reception a few weeks later. He makes a little effort to put on a make-believe happiness in public, and you’re thankful for that, but he’s still dripping with resent and sadness. It’s only normal after all, he doesn’t gain much from this arrangement compared to everything he loses. You both try to put on a good show for all the important personalities attending your wedding, then you head back to your house immediately after it’s finished. You and Mark decided to live in a rather big house, with two bedrooms. Of course, you decided to sleep in separate beds. Actually, to make everything easier for both of you, you separated everything, like roommates would. You would have your own life, and he would have his. He could continue with his job, and you would take care of the company, that’s it. The only requirement between the two of you was to, at least, pretend to be happily married when you were in public.

These rules established, you thought your life would go on as normal, the only difference being your new position and responsibilities in the company. What you didn’t expect was for Mark to still take care of you. Not as a husband, of course, but in subtle ways that you can’t ignore. When he makes dinner, he makes sure to leave some for you to eat when you get home after work. When he goes grocery shopping, he buys stuff for both of you. When you’re not around, he does some cleaning. It’s not rare that he texts you to ask at what time you’re getting home so he can make his plans without bothering you. It’s crazy to you how someone can be mad at you and still take care of you like this, even though he has no obligations towards you. You really wish you could repay him, but there’s not much you can do since you’re at work most of the time and only come home super late at night. You offer to take turns washing the dishes, to which he agrees, but he ends up doing most of it anyways because of your tight schedule. Despite not having the highest opinion of you, he still does all those things because that’s just how good of a person he is.

As incredible as it seems – and as much as you hate to admit it – you’ve grown attached to Mark. Although he barely ever talks to you, you appreciate his little actions a bit more than you should. You even finding yourself daydreaming about what you and Mark would be like together in another life... But daydreams are all about it. You can’t let these feelings take over, because he obviously doesn’t feel the same way. Quite frankly, it might even be the opposite. He seems to have gotten over himself, but still despises you and wishes you hadn’t ruined his life, and that is enough for you to keep your feelings a secret. You’ve mastered the art of repressing your emotions, ever since you were a child, to maintain a certain image. Everyone around you says that bottling things inside is not healthy for you, but you don’t care. With all of your responsibilities, you don’t need to deal with your conflicted emotions on top of that. So you live your life like this for the following months, being as strong as you can. That is until, one night, you inevitably break.

For a woman your age, being a CEO is a lot of pressure. You are in a rowboat barely floating in the middle of the sea, and financial partners and stakeholders are sharks trying to capsize it. They’re constantly pressuring you, aiming for your breaking point, trying to make you bend before them so they can steal your power. Your daily life is composed of disguised threats and improper remarks, added to tons and tons of work and the tiredness that comes with them, and the sadness of coming home to an empty house, without anyone to talk to. Today was just the straw that broke the camel. A representant of your company’s number one competitor came in to talk to you. The lady, like everyone else, was sent to pressure you. You handled the situation perfectly, as usual, until she said:

- “Well... Where’s your husband? I believe he also has some latitude in this company, right. How come we never see him around?”

Normally, you wouldn’t care. But, with the way she said it, you started to worry. She was clearly implying that she – and probably many other people – are fully aware that your marriage is fake, and that they’re going to use that to their advantage.

That thought is still on your mind when you step into your house, exhausted. You slip out of your shoes and jacket, throw your bag onto the table and slump down on the sofa, not even bothering to turn on the lights. How long can you keep up like this? How can you stop them from using your marriage, the only thing you have no control on, against you? And who are you even going to tell all of this? It’s not like you have a lot of friends, and you don’t want to seem weak to the eyes of your family, since you’re the one who fought so hard to get here. But is this really what you wanted? Will you ever be able to keep your promise and save this company? Your insecurities hit you so hard that you break into tears. You let go of months of pent up frustration and sadness, so overwhelmed by your emotions and crying so much that you don’t even hear the front door opening and the lights being turned on.

Mark finds you there, crying your heart out and struggling to breathe. He immediately pours some water into a glass and brings it to you, but you don’t even notice it.

- “Hey, hey, Y/N look at me” he says, trying catch your attention.

His voices rings inside your ears and you try to look up, barely processing what’s happening.

- “What’s wrong? Why are you crying? Talk to me.”

His genuinely worried tone makes you feel so safe that, without thinking twice, you immediately start talking. You tell him absolutely everything. Mark listens to you, holds your hand, brings you more water when your glass is empty. He’s so kind and understanding that it takes everything in you not to tell him about your growing feelings for him. After you’re finished, he gives you some great advice and demands that you never keep your problems to yourself like that again.

Since that night, every time you come home, Mark starts asking questions. He asks how you’re doing and how your day has been, asks you to talk about your problems and what you’re planning to do about them. That’s how you and Mark, after seven months of being married, became friends. Mark is determined to make you feel less lonely. He even starts getting himself involved in your work, even if it’s just a tiny little bit. He often passes by your workplace and brings you lunch, making sure he arrives at the exact time you’re having meetings with all those annoying people, just to show them that he’s there and that you’re not alone. If you used to appreciate Mark’s efforts, you’ve come to appreciate his very presence. You cherish the moments you spend with him, even the smallest ones, from small talks around the living room to movie nights on weekends. Your new relationship with your husband makes you feel uncertain. You can’t really tell if it makes things easier or harder for you, because the only thing you’re certain of right now is that you’ve fallen in love with him.

Part 3

a/n: hiii and thanks for reading the second chapter to this series. what do you think of this new chapter? it was tough to write tbh, especially trying to explain the reason behind the arranged marriage. I tried to make it as realistic as possible though. I really REALLY hope you’re enjoying the story so far. Happy holidays and love you all. 💖

#got7 #got7 imagine #got7 scenario #got7 angst #got7 mark #got7 mark imagine #got7 mark scenario #got7 mark angst #got7 mark tuan #got7 mark tuan imagine #got7 mark tuan scenario #mark tuan #mark tuan imagine #mark tuan scenario #mark tuan angst

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griffelkinn · 4 years

Text

Letter to a Man

I wish all men would read this letter. I am a woman who is attracted to men. But it seems impossible to find romance and friendship with a man, as much as I wish I could.

This is a letter I wrote to a man I met on Okcupid, and started a friendship with, and then ended the friendship shortly after.

The reason that I ended the friendship was because while we were on a hike, he began talking at length about his feelings that men suffer from oppression and women are privileged. He also emotionally defended incels and misogynists, and said women needed to be kinder to them. He also expressed sympathy toward rapists.

After our hike, we texted, and he continued expressing supportive feelings toward misogynists. And so over text, I said that I felt we should part ways, and shouldn’t hang out anymore. After that, he sent me a letter in the mail, and I wrote him this letter in return.

I wish all men could read this letter...

“Brian,

I didn't want to cause you pain or sadness, the other day. I knew that I probably did, and that made me feel pain myself.

Your letter was very thoughtful, and I was glad to read it. I appreciated the time you took to write it, and your sincerity. I do hope you'll read this letter, and know that it is a very serious and honest outpouring of my feelings. I want you to understand. I know it might seem like a wall of text, but every word of it feels important to tell you.

When I first moved to San Francisco, my very first friend in the whole state was a guy named Roger. We got along really well, and immediately became very close, and had fun together constantly. We cooked, and lay in the park, and got drunk, and joked around, and tried new snacks, and got ice cream on hot days, and even got some acid on the street and tripped together on Halloween to Nightmare Before Christmas. We were super close for months. Then he randomly started passionately ranting about how rape is a very mild crime, and people shouldn't get too bothered if it happens to them, or punished for doing it either. He went on about how rapists were usually molested at some point, and they deserved sympathy. Not to have their lives negatively impacted by getting in trouble for raping someone. Also, that they can't help doing it, like it's a nervous tic. We talked and argued about it for hours. All of those points. Finally I left, because I was shaking with anger and emotion, and he was very passionately defending everything he'd said with no moving at all.

I was especially shaken by his tirade because it was an exact echo of the many tirades the violent psycho I was trapped living with years ago used to go on. All of those points were favorites of his to passionately rant about. That guy had also been my best friend, before I got a place with him (accessible only by his truck), and also before he dropped his carefully-constructed façade of a great person. He also used to rant about how 15-year-old girls are the most appropriate breeding partners for men, and how women's sports are a joke, and how girls are biologically inclined to bear children and take care of them. Also that men are currently generously "allowing their women to become educated". He had been jailed for rape. He was sadistic, in ways I could never describe.

I didn't see my friend Roger anymore after that. All of his weird rapist-support arguments were so similar to the psycho's, and also extremely suggestive of his own tendencies. He did later tell me in a text that he was one of the rapists he was defending.

Later when I was working at Whole Foods, I became really good friends with this guy named Greg, who also worked there. We became instantly great buddies, and did all kinds of stuff together. We went on road trips, went out for pizza regularly, and learned how to make silicone molds and castings together. We were both really into art and painting. We swapped comics, and discovered Stranger Things together. I actually started getting a crush on him, which was a big thing for me. Then one night we were parked in front of my apartment, cause he was dropping me off after we'd spent a whole day having fun around the city and then making molds at his apartment. We didn't even want to say good night, because we wanted to keep hanging out and talking. We started talking about how we were both really happy that we'd become friends. And then he told me that his last best friend and him had parted badly, and he was disappointed. So then, I told him I'd had something similar happen, and I told him about Roger. I told him about the argument me and Roger had had about rape and rapists, and how that had ended the friendship, and how sad it was. And then Greg said "Well, it does make you think..." And I asked what about. And he then launched into a passionate rant feeling sorry for rapists. I think my jaw hung down 3 feet. I was just stunned. He started talking about Brock Turner, the rapist from a few years ago who was all over the news. The one who got barely any jail time, because the judge felt sorry for him and didn't want his life negatively impacted by his raping that girl.

Greg went on and on about how it was terrible that Brock Turner was going to be known as a rapist now, and how sad that was for him. He'd made one tiny little mistake anyone could make, and now he's gonna be thought of badly. He didn't seem aware of the other person involved whose life actually was negatively impacted. I argued all of his ideas about his "tiny mistake", and also how sad it was for him now. I wanted to understand why Greg was saying this stuff. I must be misunderstanding. We talked about it until 4 in the morning in the car, until finally I had to go inside, because clearly there was no misunderstanding.

As soon as I got into my apartment, I cried on my couch. I was so sad, because I liked Greg so much, and this was how he was. I knew our friendship was over. We decided to get together the next night and see if there was really a misunderstanding that maybe we could figure out had happened. At a bar, he told me it's his nature, when he sees a viewpoint that's hard to agree with at first, to try to figure out a way it could be agreed with. He's just really intelligent and quick and enjoys doing that. That was obviously not what was happening.

Before meeting you on Okcupid, I'd met one other guy this year. He told me he'd forced himself sexually on a girl once, and he was sorry for it now.

A friend I met while living in Maine for a while years ago (between CA and FL) was a guy named Doug, I met on Okcupid. He assaulted me.

Another friend I met on Okcupid in that same stay was a guy named Nate. He assaulted me.

I wanted to tell you about Roger and Greg, because they are really what led to my action after our text conversation. When you and me were walking that day, I didn't react much at the time, but I was very unsettled when you mentioned how rapists were usually molested themselves. I've been just confused and frustrated that I very rarely meet a man who doesn't sympathize with rapists or misogynists. It's like 1 in a million. When you said that, I was internally thinking, you probably feel like Roger and Greg. When you said that you like to try to see the side of people who have an extreme viewpoint, and that's why you tried to see the side of misogynists, it sounded exactly like Greg later explaining his rape-sympathizing.

I know I had lots of fun kayaking with you, and playing 7 Days to Die, and talking about tripping, and watching Chappie. The letter you wrote me was really thoughtful, and made me feel how much you care and how much you were focused on self-awareness, which is really awesome.

I told you about Doug and Nate, because I want you to understand why I have so much hesitancy about hanging out. Sadly, since we haven't known each other long, I am strongly affected by the percentage of times I've made a male friend and had them assault me or reveal that they support rapists.

Those examples are not the only times I've been assaulted.

In my opinion, the number-one cause of the extreme amount of rapists, is how much support rapists get. And misogynists. 99.9% men seem to support them. Male rappers and sportsmen remain heroes after assaulting women. Male judges give rapists such light sentencing that it seems less serious than drug crimes or theft. Movies and tv show heroes and "cool" characters are often raping and joking about it. Everywhere, whenever I turn on the tv it seems like.

I remember when I was a kid, and I used to run around town playing with this big group of all the town kids, and we were all friends. I had some really great friends who were boys, who lived around me, and we used to hang out and mess around and we didn't see each other as a different species. We hadn't been brainwashed yet. It makes me deeply sad that that kind of camaraderie between men and women seems like a fantasy now. I hope it's still around.

It's so upsetting to think about that stuff, and I am filled with so much unease when I'm around people who I think might see me as a "woman-creature" that can never be understood or related to. I walk around thinking in the back of my mind that I might have a violent encounter at any given time, and I'm prepared for it mentally. I'm positive there will be more in the future.

I really want you to understand me, because I don't want you to feel bad or upset or hurt or offended. I know that I offended you and hurt you when I said I thought you were a man like those others. All I knew was that you were saying things that they all say, and that it has hurt me deeply to hear those things from friends in the past. It hurt so much that it makes me not want to risk becoming very close when there's any indication that those feelings about rapists and misogynists are part of someone. From your letter it sounds like you also empathize with those who are hurt by misogyny. You feel bad for your misogynist and racist uncle, and for all others. And empathy is a wonderful quality. Empathy is one of the most important things to have. And the most respectable. But I do think the cause of so much misogyny and rape is this overabundance of sympathy for them (and far too little for the people who are actually seriously hurt by them).

I don't want bad feelings between us. I want good feelings. I have good feelings toward you. I am just sad and tired and just... confused and frustrated that I've never met a man who just completely was angry and disgusted with rapists and misogynists, and spoke as passionately about that as they so often speak passionately about sympathizing with them. I don't know what that means for the state of people right now. I don't say this to single you out or to try and make you feel bad. It's just something I've been thinking a lot about, that's got me down. And hearing certain arguments and opinions about that stuff so often makes me feel down. Also, there were other things you said during our hike that made it seem like you were very emotionally into the idea that men have it harder than women. It really seemed like something you think about a lot and feel strongly about. I was walking in a constant state of "What-the?". Maybe that's not true. It just seemed like a continuous vibe.

I hope you understand that I didn't end things with us out of anything personal with you. I really enjoyed most of our times together, and I will remember them with happiness. I hope you make many more beautiful potteries, and have fun and happiness. Empathy is a great thing to have, it's just that those specific sympathies make me very unhappy to be around, in a really big way, now.

-C”

#life as a woman #rape culture #feminism #misogyny #incels #reality #men please read

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27emailsicantsend · 5 years

Note

Muffy first kiss?? I know I'm asking for a lot of headcannons I'm sorry

Author Note: I talked to the person who requested this, it is actually for their second kiss (just a typo) and I requested that I write it as a one shot instead to make my idea flow a little easier, so that’s what I’ll be writing.

Muffy Second Kiss One Shot

It had been three days since the party. Three days since the best night of Buffy’s life. Three day since the hardest night of Buffy’s life. Three days since she kissed Marty from the Party.

She was sitting on her bed, tying her boot laces up as she thought about the first time she met Marty. They were standing at a food table at one of Andi’s other big parties, throwing lines back and forth at each other. Their banter was unmatchable. She thought about how easily she connected with Marty. How did one small, funny interaction about eating a live frog turn into this? Turn into her being head over heels for the boy with the cute dimples, the boy who got jokes twenty seconds too late, the boy who never pushed her past her limits. He reminded her of what was good for her, but knew when to back down to her stubborn mind.

While everything was still crazy to her, she knew one thing for certain: she wanted more of Marty. After they kissed, he put his arm around her as they walked back into the party. He held her close and it felt right being there. As if his arm was meant for her. They danced, threw bants, and laughed with friends for the rest of the night until Andi said she was leaving.

Buffy shuddered. It was too hard to think about. The night took a turn for the worse after she hugged Marty good bye. As much as Buffy wanted to be happy for Andi, she knew she couldn’t handle the idea of Andi being at a different school from her and Cyrus. She could barely handle it when she almost moved last year- how could Andi leave now? She probably won’t come back right after she leaves...

Buffy could feel tears forming in her eyes and so she shook herself again, grabbed her backpack and caught the bus to school.

At school, Buffy wasn’t sure if she should talk to Marty... avoid him... they did really well talking at the party and had texted through the weekend, but the idea of seeing him again scared her for some reason. How do you face each other again after such an intimate reaction? She tried to avoid the thought as she went about her school day.

Buffy managed to not see him at all that day. Her thoughts kept going back and forth between him and Andi and it made school incredibly difficult to focus on. She struggled taking notes, had no idea what a teacher asked her while she was spacing, and even failed to be sympathetic to Cyrus when he was sad he didn’t get a chocolate-chocolate-chip-muffin.

TJ and Cyrus acted really cool that day. They joked around, held hands, and seemed really normal after getting together at the party. So why was it so scary for her to see Marty?

Buffy went home and began to work on her homework. She fumbled through it as her brain couldn’t focus and she found herself standing up to do something else or checking her phone every five minutes. She was also surprised that Marty hadn’t texted her at all that day. Did she do something wrong? Did she say something to make him angry? The texts from yesterday were fine. What is going on?

Ding-Dong

Buffy jumped at the opportunity to get the door and away from her thoughts. She swung the door open.

Marty.

Her first thought was to panic, but it felt impossible to now seeing him. She didn’t know why seeing him again had freaked her out so much. It felt so natural to see his face; so easy being in his presence.

“Hey,” Buffy said with a small smile.

“Hey, Buffy. How are you?” Marty was grinning ear-to-ear. Everything was fine between them.

“I’m good. Why are you here?”

“I can’t just stop by to see you?”

“Well, of course you can! I was just working on some homework and didn’t expect to see you since I hadn’t seen you at school at all today, not this morning or-” Buffy caught herself. She realized that might come off as if she had been waiting around for him. Well- she had been- but he didn’t need to know that. “-I just thought you might have been sick or something. That’s all”. It wasn’t a great recover, but it would do.

“Nah,” Marty chuckled. “I’m doing just fine. Must have just missed crossing paths. Say, can we talk outside for a minute?”

Oh no, Buffy thought, he really does want to end things. How could I have been so delusional from that grin? He smiles at everything. He’s Marty.

Buffy continued to work herself up in her head as she calmly, but slightly confused said, “ok?...”

Marty grabbed her hand and led her to the doorstep. They sat down. He looked at her again, but this time the gaze was different. Longing? Maybe. Deep? Definitely.

“Buffy?” He asked as he put a hand on her knee. “How are you really?”

Buffy started to feel defensive. She didn’t do anything wrong! Why is he trying to end things?

“I’m fine, Marty. I’ve been fine and I am fine. I just told you that,” Buffy said, with a slight edge to her voice. She moved her leg away in an attempt to withdraw from Marty emotionally.

Marty sensed her discontent, but somehow knew it was just her shielding. He knew her boundaries and respected them. That’s why Buffy liked him so much. Or at least she thought she did until he came to hurt her. She could feel the tears start to form in her eyes out of anger. Hadn’t she been through enough? She didn’t need this today.

“Buffy,” Marty said, gently, “do you know why I came here?”

Yes, Buffy thought. Physically, however, she just hovered away from Marty and shrugged her shoulders.

“Cyrus sent me.”

This caused Buffy’s head to snap up back at him, eyes wide. Maybe she didn’t know what was going on. “Cyrus sent you? Why?”

Marty gave Buffy a little half smile. “He wanted me to make sure you were ok. He said you had been acting off all day and seemed distant with him during lunch. He felt like something was off but didn’t want to push you. He thought maybe I could come check on you instead”.

Buffy’s whole body relaxed. She panicked for absolutely no reason. Marty wasn’t mad at her at all, in fact, he wanted to make sure she was ok. Cyrus was so sweet for thinking of her and not trying to push her to talk. She was so lucky... well... except for Andi.

She looked at Marty and gazed into his eyes for a few seconds with a soft smile on her face. She wanted to say she was sorry for being so short with him, but couldn’t find the words. So instead she just decided to talk about what was on her mind.

Marty placed his hand back on her knee. She placed her hand on his, lightly grabbing it. As she rested it there, she lightly rubbed his hand back and forth with her thumb. She watched this small movement as she talked.

“Andi is leaving. She told Cyrus, Jonah, and I after the party. She got accepted into this really fancy art school- SAVA- and I just feel like... it might... break.. us up....” Buffy’s voice began to trail as she started to get choked up. She hated crying and couldn’t handle the idea of Marty seeing that emotion in her. She needed to be strong.

She swallowed in an attempt to compose her self (which slightly worked considering it caused the feeling of her needing to cry to stop), blinked hard to reset her eyes from the tears, and continued to speak.

“I just don’t know what I’m going to do. I am happy for her- I really am- but she’s my best friend, Marty. Cyrus has TJ. Jonah is busy with Bowie. Heck if I ever see Amber around after this. I just feel like my friends and I are all going to fall apart because of this move and I just can’t take the idea of us leaving and me being alone”.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Marty interrupted to get her to stop talking for a second. She didn’t notice but her voice had began to speed up drastically as she talked. He put his free hand up to her face and rubbed her cheek with his thumb. “Buffy, you already know, I won’t leave you. You are not alone”.

It’s true, Buffy thought. Even after their awkward fight last year, he still never truly left. He kept tabs with her while he waited for her to come back and when she was ready to see him again, he was ready to see her. Even after she broke his heart.

Buffy stared at him and bit her lip contemplating. She pulled the hand down he had on her face and kissed him. This kiss was a little longer, a little more intimate than their first. It was a way to thank Marty. It was a way to show she trusted him. It was a way to show that she knew that even if the Good Hair Crew didn’t last, she would make sure she and Marty would. He mattered to her as much as they did and it felt good to know she had a partner to go through these tough times with. He really was that guy.

When the kiss broke, Buffy leaned back and said, without wavering, “I know”.

Request by: @muffy-thatsit-thatsall

#muffy #marty from the party #buffy driscoll #andi mack #am #fic #one shot #asks #send me asks

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the--sad--hatter · 5 years

Text

Name Changing (4)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU, X-MEN, DEADPOOL

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION - Sequel to Name Calling

After merging with your bloodthirsty alternate personality things start getting a little dicey. You’ve got two decades worth of anger to sort through, a feral mutation to figure out how to live with, a biological father who you hate trying to teach you control and if your wedding planner suggests teal for the bridesmaids again you might just eat her liver.

Luckily you have Bucky Barnes by your side, helping you figure things out. What Bucky doesn’t know is that you have found an outlet for the uncontrollable rage, one that absolutely nobody can know about. If your friends and family knew that you were out slaughtering people in the dead of night while they slept, they might be a little annoyed. Wade Wilson is happy to keep your secret though, so long as you keep bribing him with Mexican food.

For as long as you could remember, all you had wanted was to be good. Now you’re seeing the temptation in the darkness.

A Stark Reminder

Read the Exclusive Interview with Deathwave

Interview conducted and written by Kara M Pierce

Since her very public debut as the long lost daughter of Tony Stark, she has been the subject of much curiosity. Her story is a dark one, yet it’s also one filled with hope.

It quickly came to light that Miss Stark was far more than she first appeared and while she is in fact Tony Starks daughter, it is not by blood. Though after just a few minutes in her presence I am wondering if that is true. She exudes the same confidence and charm as her father, not to mention the same sharp wit. Having interviewed Mr Stark in the past I can confirm that both Starks harbour the same respect and fear for Pepper Potts as one look from the CEO can make either Stark fall into line.

Thank you so much for agreeing to sit down with me today Miss Stark.

Bold of you to assume I had any choice.

Thank you so much for convincing her to sit down with me today Mrs Potts.

She’s very happy to be here.

I imagine you are quite busy, does being Deathwave take up a lot of your time?

It does but apparently the bad guys have no concept of acceptable work hours. Someone should really start a labour union for them or something.

What’s it like being an Avenger and is it different from being a secret Avenger?

I used to just have to deal with Hydra and Vernichtung agents attacking me, now I have paparazzi as well but apparently I’m not allowed to blast them into smithereens.

Other than that, it’s not actually very different. Not having to wear the mask makes it a little easier, that thing was kinda warm.

How well do you get along with the other Avengers?

Sam Wilson, The Falcon is my best friend. When I first arrived at the compound he sort of took me under his wing. Sam is an excellent cook and he loves feeding people He’s also a great listener, he really cares about what you have to say and if you need advice he’ll do his best to give it to you but he knows when you just need to vent.

Plus have you seen the muscles on that man? Who doesn’t want to cry on those shoulders?

It sounds like you’re writing a dating profile for him. Are you trying to get him a date Miss Stark?

No... Maybe. Not that he needs my help, the man is handsome, charming, has the thighs of a god and is a superhero. He's also single. Just saying.

What about the other Avengers, are you close with them?

Well I am engaged to one so yes? We’re a family, all of us. I trust them with my life and they trust me with theirs. When we’re out there in the field our lives and the lives of the people we are fighting to protect rests in each others hands. That tends to form some close bonds.

So does that mean you’re close with Loki, the man who once led an attempted invasion?

Yes, I am. Loki was not responsible for that, and despite being controlled he managed to manipulate events so he would lose the battle of New York. He did the best he could with limited control of his own mind.

Loki was instrumental in helping me defeat Docherty, he helped us win the Second Battle of New York. He’s a hero, an Avenger and a friend and anyone who says otherwise can take it up with me personally. I’ll be happy to educate them on the difference between a hero and a villain.

You seem to have a protective streak, not just for those you know personally.

Was there a question in there?

I was wondering where that protectiveness comes from?

My father. He protected me. And I owe it to the world to follow in his example. He made a lot of mistakes along the way to becoming the hero he is today and he owns up to them and not only learned from them, encourages me to learn from them as well.

Speaking of your father, there’s been much speculation about your biological family.

Are you referring to the rumors that were leaked about Docherty being my grandfather?

Yes, those rumors have been circulating. Is there any truth to them?

Yes.

Would you like to elaborate on that?

Not particularly. Biologically, I was his granddaughter. He was evil, I stopped him. End of story.

What about the rest of your biological family? Do you have any desire to know about them?

What makes you think I don’t already know? My mother is dead, Docherty killed her. My father didn't know I existed until recently and he... he and I are working through our issues but that’s a private matter. If his identity comes to light at any point I just wanted people to know he didn't know about me or Docherty. It wasn't his fault.

That’s fair. Onto happier subjects Miss Stark, you won’t be Miss Stark for much longer. Are you excited?

You’d assume I was excited about my upcoming nuptials or I wouldn't be getting married would I?And the Stark name was the greatest gift I ever got, I’m not giving it up. I’ll be Mrs Stark-Barnes.

How did the romance between you and Sargent Barnes happen? Who made the first move?

(Miss Stark is trying to contain a laugh at this point, Mrs. Potts giving her a warning look.)

He made the first move. He followed me about for months, begging me for a chance. It was getting quite sad so I took pity on him.

What about the photo’s that appeared to show you on a date with Captain Rogers?

Well, Cap was my first love but he’s too good, too pure. I had to downgrade.

So you settled for Sargent Barnes?

(The laughter dies and the expression on Miss Starks face is one of love and conviction, it is clear her feelings for Sargent Barnes are very real and very powerful.)

James is the only man I have ever wanted to be with and the only man I ever want to be with. He’s my partner in every way, he supports me even when he doesn’t like what I’m doing, he challenges me when I’m being an idiot, he forgives me when I mess up, he holds my head above water when I’m drowning. He is the love of my life I know how lucky I am that I get to spend the rest of my life returning his love.

What about the blurred photographs that appear to show you in the company of the Vigilante and Mercenary known as Deadpool?

Deadpool is a menace to society. It is my personal mission to hunt him down and give him exactly what he deserves.

Quite a turn around from the woman who once refused to sign The Sokovia Accords.

My refusal to sign wasn’t about the accords themselves but rather the way they were being used. Secretary Ross is a slimy rat and I would never cow to his perceived authority. (There is a short argument between Mrs. Potts and Miss Stark but Miss Stark insists we can print her opinion on Secretary Ross, though it must be noted that the opinion of the interviewee do not necessarily represent the views of this publication.)

Colonel Rhodes is a man who knows the value of bureaucracy and the importance of the accords and balances it with the public's need for protection. The Sokovia Accords are no longer used as a power play but are in place to protect the people who signed as well as holding them accountable for their actions.

It’s at this point in the interview I informed Miss Stark I had some fan questions that had been sent in and she immediately perked up.

I like the fans, they’re just normal people who like me for some reason. It’s always strange when they come up to me and ask for a selfie or an autograph but it’s inspiring. Hopeful. It reminds me that there’s a world out there that I get to help protect.

From Jess on Ao3: How did you decide that you wanted to be good, despite the evils you’ve encountered?

I decided I wanted to be good because of the evils I encountered. My earliest memories are of cruelty and you’d think growing up that way might have given me a twisted sense of morality but I knew the way I felt was horrible and I didn't ever want to be the reason somebody else felt that way. There was a guard when I was really young, he slipped me chocolate through the bars of my cell. He was killed for it when they found out. That's how I knew they were evil, even if I didn’t know the word. And I knew I didn't want to be that way.

TaraStudiesaLot: Are you are interested in any art form? Photography, painting, film or music? Like, does do enjoy any of these or are they still foreign to you?

Steve tried to get me into art but I’m more made to appreciate it than make it.

I like to take pictures though, nothing special, just little moments from life. I like being able to look back at the photo’s, they help ground me and remind me of the good things I have in my life.

Phoenix-whiskey-Tears: What kind of music are you into?

I hadn’t even been out of the cage for a full day before my dad introduced me to AC/DC. So I kind of associate 80’s rock with freedom I guess? I’m also partial to big band music from the 40’s. (It should be noted that at this point, Miss Stark is doing her best to hide her blush.)

Firefly-in-darkness: I wanna know more of your habits and little simple things like your favorite colour, movies, books, etc?

Red. My favorite colour is red. The Iron Suit was red, red is the colour of freedom, of salvation, justice.

Books and movies? I don’t have favorites per se, it’s still exciting and thrilling to see and read them, even bad ones.

HoneyBadger: What advice would you give to abuse survivors? And do you think you’d ever take on a protege or sidekick?

Well first of all, I have a sidekick. Bucky Barnes.

To abuse survivors I would say this, you already did the hard part. You survived. You are already winning that battle by fighting it and I know it’s a long battle, one you’ll be fighting every day for the rest of your life. That thought is depressing and exhausting and overwhelming.

But it’s worth it. The world is still out there waiting for you, use the pain you have experienced to see the world differently. See the beauty in the mundane and normal because after your suffering you deserve every single tiny bit of happiness and calm you can grasp.

What happened to you shaped you yes, but it does not define you. You are so much more than what they did to you. Their evil does not leave a stain on you and your future is not dictated by your past.

You’re warriors, Kings and Queens who deserve so much more than life gave you. Life and people can be cruel and it’s up to you now, to take what you deserve from the world. Be amazing, you’ve already proven you have it in you. Support one another, hold each other up and never ever forget that we are a thousand times better than those who tried to put us down.

Pydia Packmaster: What keeps you going despite everything you have been through?

Life goes on, the world keeps turning. And everything I endured can be used to help me make sure others don’t have to go through the same thing.

All the bad things that happened to me are being used as a force for good now. Like I once said, I was created to end the world but I’m going to save it.

Beansy: if you had the ability to change anything in your past, what would it be and would you?

I wish I had known I had a mother, maybe I could have saved her before it was too late. Maybe I could have known her. But what’s done is done. My whole life I didn’t even dare to imagine that I would have a future but now I do and I won’t waste it by living in the past.

ToastLuvr: If you could choose an actress to play you in a movie who would it be?

Jack Black. Next question.

BuckityBarnes: Who’s your Avengers Crush?

Black Widow... Obviously. If Nat would have me I’d drop Bucky in a heartbeat. Have you seen that thing she does with her thighs? That’s how I wanna die.

Sitting down with Deathwave was just as inspiring as I had expected. Since the details of her past were revealed to the world she has become a symbol of hope to people everywhere. She is a hero, of that there is no doubt but what truly makes her an inspiration is the fact that she reminds us all of what we can be.

Who you are and where you came from doesn’t decide where you are going to go. That choice is up to you and you alone. No matter the challenges you face in life, big or small, they can be overcome.

Setback only set you back, they don’t stop you. People will stand in your way but they can be moved. You are the hero of your own story.

We are all the heroes of our own stories.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

AUTHORS NOTE

This was mostly fun to write but there is a lot of of it that came directly from my heart. I’ve made no secret about how Docherty was based on real people who hurt me so the advice Baby Stark gives to abuse survivors is what I would say to those of you who it applies to and I mean every fucking word.

If you are or were in a situation of abuse, be it mental, physical, sexual or other then please consider my inbox a safe space to talk if you ever need it.

@nerdandproud-86 @harrison-shot-first@thejourneyneverendsx @thelostallycat @inquisitor-selvala@the-corruptor @iovher @kendrawr-kitkat @phoenix-whiskey-tears @the–real–wombat@buckitybarnes@fairislesheets@angieptt @meganjonezzzz@dugan365@fluffeh-kitty@memanda17 @krystallynx@theonelittleone@piscesbarnes@free-as-fishes@tarastudiesalot@captainamericasbeard@dropthepizza346@jaynnanadrews@likes-to-smell-books@drdorkus @life-wanderer@metalarmlover @animegirlgeeky@jsmith509@chipilerendi@nerdy-bookworm-1998@ericasabe@gravedollie666@madlykpopfan@l0kisbitch@mywinterwolf@sassysweetstories @life-wanderer @jessieray98@littledeadrottinghood @firefly-in-darkness @demonlover87 @jessieray98 @pinkisokay @chipilerendi

#hattersmarvelverse #Bucky x Reader #Bucky Barnes

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sweetlangdon · 5 years

Text

From Eden: Chapter 7

Notes: Michael Langdon x Reader/OC. Evil Power Couple fic. It’s difficult to write a summary for this one, because I don’t want to give away the twists. (It’ll also include canon rewrite/divergence for the later half of the season.) It has plenty of angst and fluff, and a bit of character study.

Warnings: Swearing, blood, murder, graphic violence.

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Also Available on AO3

The Hotel Cortez had called to him. His father had reached out from the void to guide his path, and so he ended up on the doorstep of a hell mouth. It looked rather innocuous from the outside—a seedy, rundown Art Deco relic left to decompose in a back alley. An echo of its former grandeur. Michael supposed it had all of the right elements to act as a conduit for his father’s influence. That familiar rush of darkness ghosted along his skin before he even set foot in the lobby, coiling tightly around him as if it was oxygen to his starved lungs.

Michael breathed it in, greedy for it, confidence swelling in his veins, his hands flexing at his sides. Power hummed across his fingertips, burning as if he’d held them into an open flame. The only other time he had felt his father’s presence so close, so all-consuming was the night of the Black Mass, where he’d affirmed his title as Satan’s heir. A hint of brimstone caught his senses, just a trace of it when the air shifted as he walked through the vacant lobby.

He smirked, chin tilted up, and folded his hands behind his back. The tacky, stained carpet muted his footsteps. Around every turn the Cortez seemed endless and identical; doors stretching in every direction, the hallways casting more shadow than light. It was dim and outdated, gaudy in a way that made Michael’s skin itch.

Agony seeped from the walls. Souls cried out for mercy, for salvation they would never find. The screaming and wailing would never stop. They would never escape, never know peace.

Michael kept walking.

A melody broke through the deafening quiet, the distant weeping and torment. Michael paused in the middle of a hallway, head cocked to one side, brow knit together. Someone was whistling; the sound of a children’s lullaby floated into the hall from one of the rooms up ahead. A fragile, golden orange light spilled onto the carpet from an open door and flickered against the wall opposite like someone had lit a fire.

Michael hurried toward it, the crease between his eyebrows deepening. He stopped just short of the doorway, arms falling to his sides. His lips parted as his jaw dropped a little and he tried to register the sight in front of him.

This room was different from the others.

It was all dark walls and dark, rich wood and elegance—a study full of bookcases and glossy, modern furniture with a large fire burning at one end. Michael stepped over the threshold, pulled forward by some force or feeling inside of him. His ice blue gaze swept over the room, taking in little details like the arrangement of animal skulls on the mantle and the table against the far wall that displayed what he assumed was an expensive liquor collection.

He noticed the man last. Or maybe he hadn’t been there a moment ago. Michael didn’t know for certain.

The man rose from behind an ornate desk as if he’d been expecting Michael’s arrival. As if, somehow, they’d had an appointment.

He cut an imposing figure in a tailored, slate gray three-piece suit. There was a dusting of light gray at his temples, his hair the color of ink and slightly tousled. A handsome amount of stubble shadowed his jawline; Michael guessed that he was maybe in his late forties by some terrible estimation. There was something familiar about this man’s moss green eyes, the sharp slope of his nose, the knowing grin that pulled at a corner of his lips, but Michael couldn’t immediately place it. The silver chain of a pocket watch glinted in the firelight as the man stepped toward the far table.

“Hello, Michael.” His voice was smooth, accented. “Would you care for a drink?”

“Sure.” Michael remembered himself—the manners instilled in him by Constance Langdon were impossible to forget, even now—as he neared the man, his steps wary. “Thank you.”

Amber liquid flowed into two crystal glasses from an old bottle. Michael thought he saw a date on the label that suggested somewhere within the 1700s, but he couldn’t be sure, faded as the label was. The man handed one glass over to Michael before he picked up the other, letting it dangle between his fingertips for a moment. He then held it aloft between them, tipping it slightly. The firelight illuminated the amber in his glass and a small, silver ring that adorned the man’s thumb.

“To you, Michael Langdon,” he declared, “Long may you reign.”

He clinked his own glass against Michael’s, that meaningful—and perhaps proud—grin spreading across his lips.

The drink shot like fire down his throat and burned straight through his chest. He stifled a cough and took another sip. Michael had no idea what it was, but it sent an instantaneous, pleasant buzz to his fingertips and toes.

“You certainly are your father’s son,” the man told him. He spoke as if he’d known Michael for his entire life, known things about him that he’d yet to learn. The thought was a little unsettling. “What an honor it is to finally be in your presence at last.”

Michael cradled the glass between his palms. “I’m sorry,” he started, peering up at the man with a slight shake of his head, gaze narrowing in confusion. “Do I know you?”

“No, you wouldn’t. Our paths may have run parallel, you and I, but there was no reason for them to cross. Well, not until now, at least. You’re far too young, Michael, and I am something much more ancient.”

The man’s eyes suddenly turned from dark green to pure black, the whites of his eyes like twin smudges of charcoal. Michael had never seen anything like it before, but he understood. In his soul—the part of him bred for nothing but sin and chaos and destruction—he knew all too well what it meant. Michael’s chin rose, assessing, his small, weighty exhale audible between them.

“But,” the man continued, his eyes returning to their normal color as he looked at Michael over the rim of his glass. “You know someone who’s very dear to me. And it’s time that we met.”

***

Her room smelled of sandalwood and jasmine, like it always did. Although his visits to her home were far fewer than the time she spent at his, the scent always clung to her hair, lingered in his room and on his clothes. He’d grown used to it. It had become a constant in a life so full of sudden, irrevocable change. Michael had noticed it on the bedding in his room at Hawthorne and in the wake of her departure the other night. It stayed on his uniform the next day as they recited incantations, his thoughts pulled to her whenever a remnant of sandalwood and jasmine drifted into his senses.

Michael found himself disappointed, even lonely, when the scent finally faded.

He’d missed her, too.

In the beginning, it had been curiosity that had drawn Michael to her. He’d felt her power, that same intoxicating darkness that resided in his veins, before he’d even seen her. Now, it was something else entirely. Something he couldn’t even measure, let alone name. She never expected anything from him, and that’s what made her different from everyone else who circled around him.

They all trailed behind him, casting him as their leader—whether he had a say in the matter or not—and she always matched her steps with his, always gravitated to his side. His only friend. His equal. His partner, for whatever destiny demanded of them.

And now he understood why.

Michael stood like a silent shadow, the room dark around him except for the soft glow of the candles that scented the air. It was tidy, only because she’d spent so many hours locked away in here avoiding the chaos of her parents.

She cleaned when she was anxious, to quell the panic in her chest by keeping her hands busy, her mind preoccupied. Michael remembered the first time she’d seen the appalling state of his bedroom a week after they’d met outside her aunt’s house.

It had taken her seven days to show up at Ms. Mead’s door again, seven days to process the truth that she somehow knew had been there all along. Michael had watched her pace the room, afraid to look him in the eye, afraid to get too close, her hands frantic and her voice shaking as she asked him about everything except that book she’d let him borrow. Michael’s room was spotless by the time she accepted his answers and the burden that came with being in his orbit.

Michael had been charmed by it. By her.

That seemed like a lifetime ago.

Michael’s cloak rippled around his ankles, his steps quiet. His fingers skirted across the organized row of books on one of her shelves and paused at a silver frame sitting at the edge. He picked it up, thumb passing over the photograph inside: the two of them on Ms. Mead’s porch. They were sprawled over the front steps, his arm across her shoulders, both of her arms wrapped around his middle. She had her eyes closed—Michael grinned at the memory of tugging her into the frame, catching her by surprise—but her smile was bright, her face pressed into his side.

He hadn’t even looked at the camera. His attention was on her, that boyish face he could now barely recognize lit by a beaming smile. It all seemed so normal. So simple, then. Michael couldn’t help the involuntary pang of sadness that hit him in the gut out of nowhere; the nagging whisper that crept into his thoughts when he gave in to doubt. What if they had strayed off the path? Would fate still catch up to them?

He set the frame down and rounded the corner of her bed, sinking into the edge by her hip. The power he carried into the room with him hadn’t roused her. She was still asleep, curled up on her side, her lips parted slightly, her hair fanned out across the pillows. The book she’d been reading before she drifted off had slid out of her hands and onto the tangled up sheets next to her.

Michael had cared for—loved—so few people in his short life who’d genuinely loved him in return. He almost wasn’t sure what it felt like. If it was real and honest. If he had the capacity for it, being who and what he was.

But her… She made him believe in the possibility.

Inhaling the scent of sandalwood and jasmine, Michael reached out and stroked her hair gently. A few moments passed before she stirred with a soft groan, blinking up at him.

“Hi,” she rasped, her voice still thick with sleep.

Michael laughed. “Hey.”

“What time is it?”

“I don’t know.” He withdrew his hand, watching her gain her bearings as she sat up. “Late.”

Her eyes widened. “Look at you,” she gasped. Her fingers seized the fabric of his cloak. She ran her thumbs over the intricate silver clasps, admiring the detail before she became distracted by the new clothes he’d acquired. “Are capes regulation at Hawthorne now?”

“Not exactly.”

“Oh, so it’s just you,” she answered. Her smile was all sarcasm, betraying the look in her eyes. Michael couldn’t quite read it, but there was something in her gaze that seemed to soften his roughest edges, now more than ever. Something that kept him human. “Figures.”

She yawned and stretched like a cat, then gathered up the book that had tumbled into the bed sheets. Michael caught the gilded cover in the candlelight before she left it on the bedside table.

He lifted an eyebrow. “Paradise Lost?”

“I was studying.”

Michael stared at her, a smirk forming on his mouth. “For class?”

She yawned again and tucked one leg under the other. He moved a little closer, and her fingers found their way back to his cloak. “Not exactly.”

Her eyes hadn’t left him since she woke up, her expression soft, her hair mussed from sleep. Michael always felt safe with her, comforted by having her beside him. Despite all his outbursts and dark impulses, he never wanted her to feel like how her parents made her feel when she was with him.

She reached out and kneaded her fingers into his hair. Michael leaned into her touch, his eyelids falling shut. He couldn’t stop the tiny sigh that escaped his lips as she massaged his scalp and played with strands of gold. “Your hair looks longer.”

“Does it?”

“Mmhmm,” she hummed. “You know, I should be used to all of this by now, but some of it is still so…surreal.”

Her thumb traced the mark behind his ear, a delicate, feather-light touch. Warmth blossomed up the back of his neck and the tips of his ears as if he’d just taken another sip of whatever drink he’d had at the Cortez.

“If I had hair as beautiful as yours, I’d let it grow out, too,” she mused. “Please don’t get any bright ideas if you’re ever bored at that school. Teenage boys can be insufferable and stupid—I can’t imagine how magic would factor into that equation in large groups.”

Michael opened his eyes. “Are you calling me insufferable?” He tilted his head, offering her an equally crooked grin.

She matched it. “Only sometimes.” She untangled her fingers from his hair and he found himself missing the warmth, the gentleness of her hands. “So, does this mean you’re taking the test? Because, I mean—no offense, I’m glad you’re making progress and everything—but this arrangement is shitty.”

He folded his hands over the one she’d buried in his cloak and she inched ever closer, her knee bumping into his thigh. He remembered a time when the barest of touches would make him flinch, but that fear had long since passed. “It won’t be for much longer,” Michael promised. “I had to persuade Cordelia—get her attention. I’ll take the test in two weeks’ time.”

“I can only imagine what you had to do to convince her.”

“A grand gesture.” Michael kept his palm pressed to hers, brushing his fingertips across the small bones of her knuckles with his other hand. He dropped his eyes to their hands while he spoke. “Do you know anything about the Hotel Cortez?”

When he looked up again, she was shaking her head. “No. Why?”

“My father led me there,” Michael told her, finally lacing their fingers together, “and I met your father.”

The storm of emotion on her face tore at him; bewilderment and shock and hurt clamored for space all at once. Her eyes were like glass, her fingers tightening around his as she took an uneven breath.

“No,” she answered. “My father—Michael, whoever you met, it can’t be—”

“You don’t have to be afraid,” Michael said. “Those questions you’ve always had about who you are…he can give you the answers. He’s your true father, just as Satan is mine. He can help you understand your place in all of this.”

She sniffled, and a few tears glistened down her cheeks in the soft glow of the candles. “I’m someone else’s daughter,” she whispered. She recoiled and wrenched her hands away from his, tucking them into the long sleeves of her shirt as if the realization had scorched her flesh. “No wonder my mom’s so fucking afraid of me all the time. She knew, didn’t she? They probably both knew and that’s why—”

“Listen to me,” Michael told her, calm as he could manage, taking her tear-streaked face in his hands, “you don’t need them—fuck them. They were never going to care about you—we were born to families who could never accept us. From here on out, it’s just you and me and Ms. Mead. You’re not going to be alone. All right?”

She nodded, and he leaned forward, his lips brushing the top of her head. A habit leftover from his grandma that he couldn’t quite break, though that connection had long since been lost. “Will you go with me?” She wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. “To meet him?”

Michael promised her that he would.

***

It had been five days since Michael had upended everything she thought she knew about herself. She realized quickly that she’d never really known anything at all. There had been a part of her, however small, that feared the truth as much as she’d been desperate for it. She was made of something sinister, the darkness guiding her power, whispering into her soul, her thoughts, her impulses. She’d been made to destroy, to desire chaos and fire and blood.

She had wanted to confront her mother about the truth, but instead she reined in the anger that simmered for days, fearful of exactly how it would manifest. They crossed paths so rarely now that it wouldn’t have mattered. She and her parents were nothing more than strangers to each other. Her mother, who hadn’t wanted to be a mother at all, and her father, who had stared into the eyes of someone else’s child for years and years, accepting her lie.

Michael had returned to Hawthorne and she ended up in Miriam’s kitchen, her haven in moments of personal crisis. She’d still been trembling from the news, her stare vacant, lightyears away, maybe in a different realm entirely. Miriam had praised Satan, breathless at the idea of having yet another connection to his inner circle within the walls of her home.

It was the first time since they’d met that she questioned Miriam’s care for her, and for Michael.

It wasn’t a particularly comforting thought.

Michael loved the woman fiercely, led by his need to be accepted, guided. It blinded him, and until then it had blinded her, too, as Miriam had tended to the wounds left by the people who were supposed to be her blood. Even the suggestion that Ms. Mead’s love was inspired by the power they held and Michael’s title, his power, and not just him—the lost, motherless boy—made her stomach turn.

She couldn’t bear the thought. He’d shatter, and she didn’t want to be the one responsible for it.

She kept her mouth shut.

***

I’ll be right behind you, Michael promised, his voice resonating in her wake as she materialized in a dimly lit hallway. He wants to see you first.

There was something about the Hotel Cortez that made her skin crawl.

She supposed it was a visceral, human reaction to the sounds that traveled through the walls, the shadows that darted around corners. She padded down a long hallway, the heels of her boots shuffling on the patterned carpet, the hem of her black dress trailing behind her. Miriam had taken her shopping for the occasion, insisting that jeans wouldn’t be proper for such an important meeting. She’d had to agree, and since Michael was now dressing the part, she figured it was only right that she would do the same. It was a simple dress, but sophisticated; slightly shorter in the front than in the back and sleeveless. She’d slipped a black leather jacket over it, which paired well with her vintage-style Victorian boots.

The screaming in the walls became unbearable. Her stomach twisted in knots as the voices pressed in from all sides. Underneath all of that, she felt something else, ethereal and strong, winding around her. It was dizzying, overwhelming, swelling like a wave. She let it in, led forward by it, the darkness reaching out to whisper in her ear. It was louder in here than it ever had been in her life.

She’d never felt confidence like this before. Strength. Power. Raw and unmatched and hers to claim.

A haunting children’s lullaby pierced the silence. There were no words, but she knew the melody being whistled as if she’d dreamed of it before. As if it had unlocked a memory somewhere that she’d forgotten.

There was a door open at the end of the hall, golden light beckoning her to step inside. She followed it like a moth to a flame, the answers she’d always sought just within reach. The whistling stopped when she crossed the threshold into a study, books with their shining titles winking at her from several tall bookcases, black paneled walls somehow warm and inviting. Gold flittered across sleek pieces of furniture and made the room several degrees hotter than the hallway had been.

A man leaned against a wide, polished desk, dark green eyes sparkling in the firelight. The same dark green of her own eyes, she realized, in the moment that suspended between her and this man. Her and her father.

He didn’t look anywhere near as ominous as she’d envisioned—her nightmares had come with claws and talons and all sorts of demonic imagery—but maybe he kept that part hidden. He wore deep gray, this man who looked so much like her; a starched button down shirt paired with a waistcoat and tie. His coat had been draped across the desk behind him, his hands planted on either side, fingers curled around the edge of the desk. She noticed he’d gone gray at the temples, his hair a few shades darker than her own. But they had the same nose, the same curve in their lips.

Her legs trembled, so she took her steps slow. She wondered if he could hear the panicked beat of her pulse. A gentle smile tugged at his mouth, far softer than anything she could’ve imagined. He pushed off the edge of the desk and moved toward her. She watched, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes, as he folded his arms around her.

“My beautiful baby girl,” he said, and she wasn’t sure how she was supposed to react to that. She wasn’t sure how he expected her to react. Her father, so inhuman yet wearing such a kind face. A stranger in her life, too. But one she was anxious to know. “Welcome home.”

She let him embrace her, thankful that it only lasted a few moments because she didn’t return it. He held her at arm’s length, apparently unperturbed by her coldness, dark gaze sweeping over her. She tried to make sense of how her life had become this. It had always been this, really; she was just waking up to it.

Coming home.

“I apologize for my absence in your life, and for leaving you with those wretched people.” He had an accent that she couldn’t immediately place, but it was polished and melodic. “My distance was warranted, I assure you, though it may not seem fair to you. Your mother was not always so indifferent toward you, either, but sadly that’s in the past.”

“Did she know about you?”

“No.” He let go of her arms and she shifted on her feet, putting space between them. “Not immediately, at least. When we met here at the Cortez all those years ago, she assumed I was just like her. A stranger passing through; maybe a little lonely and desperate. Our connection was fleeting—nothing more than simple lust after one too many drinks.”

“And then she found out she was pregnant,” she finished.

He hummed by way of confirmation. “She only began to suspect something was amiss when I came to see you in the hospital the night you were born,” he explained. “She’d never told me she was with child, but of course I knew. It was my job to know.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

The implication that some demon had knocked up her mother, that her existence had been planned without her mother being aware, hit a raw nerve. She may have resented the woman who’d given birth to her, but no one deserved that. It wasn’t quite as horrific as Michael’s conception, but it still left a bad taste in her mouth.

“My dear girl, you were brought into this world with a purpose,” he told her. “There are countless legions who serve Michael’s father, yet I am fortunate enough to be among the chosen few that he holds in highest regard, to govern them. As you can well imagine, this requires a certain level of trust…and responsibility.”

He took up his spot in front of the desk, leaning against it. She was grateful to have room to breathe, to process. “It’s your birthright—you’re meant to lead armies raised from Hell itself and see this world become nothing but fire and ruin. To stand at Michael’s side and rebuild a new world in his father’s image. You have power within you that you’ve only just begun to understand. You’re a leader, my darling girl. A warrior forged in hellfire.”

“We were always meant to find each other.” She knew that already. She’d felt it so deeply in her soul. “Still, that’s a lot of legacy to push onto someone. Not just me, but Michael, too.”

“You were born for it. The both of you,” he said, as if it was an acceptable explanation.

Where she had wanted to find some sense of identity in his words, something that would make her whole, the truth just left her hollow. Did he love her, this man? Were demons capable of love?

“I wanted the connection between the two of you to form on its own, with as little outside influence as possible. But I admit, I never anticipated just how strong it would be. He cares a great deal for you—Michael. Considers you his equal, his partner in all things. It’s a great honor. You’ve made me proud.”

“We’re human,” she challenged, not taking the bait of his praise. “Maybe you forgot that part: our human mothers.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and elected to ignore the venom lacing her words. “You mean the mother who wanted to murder him in his sleep?” he countered. “And as for your mother…well, I don’t believe I have to remind you of her own failings.” He sighed as if he’d grown exhausted by her stubbornness. “Your humanity will always be a weakness, but it’s something that can be overcome.”

“I don’t see it as a weakness.” She dared a step closer for the first time, her eyebrows pulled together as she frowned.

He waved a hand. “Agree to disagree, then, I suppose. It does complicate things a fair bit, all of those messy human emotions.”

“It’s shit sometimes,” she conceded, “but those messy human emotions are why Michael and I are so close, you know.”

“I’m afraid you’re trying to explain a concept with which I’ve never understood,” he relented. “I am not duty-bound to govern whatever emotions you may or may not have,” he told her, annoyance clear in his tone. “I’m concerned with the power that lies in your veins, my dear girl. You’ve been summoned here not just because I wished for us to meet, but because it’s time for you to realize your full potential.”

His eyes lifted to the doorway behind her, and she turned halfway to see Michael there, dressed just as he’d been the other night when he had visited her. He took long, graceful strides to get to her side, his cloak billowing around his legs. Relief flooded her chest, the anxiety and remnants of whatever frustration she’d directed at her father ebbing away once she felt Michael’s arm brush against hers. It must’ve not left her expression entirely, though, because the grin on Michael’s lips faded.

“Are you all right?” Michael wanted to know. Her father paid no mind, circling around the desk to rummage in the drawers.

She sighed and let her knuckles ghost along his. “I don’t know.”

“How fortuitous that you’ve joined us, Michael.” Her father straightened up, and she caught the glint of cold metal in his palm. She immediately tensed at the sight of the knife as her father approached. “I was about to summon you myself.”

Michael’s pale gaze fell to the knife, too, eyes wide with a note of panic. She leaned into Michael’s shoulder and his fingertips laced with hers for just a second, a touch of reassurance. “What’s this about?”

“The night you were born, I put a leash on your power,” her father said. “Once we undo it—and we’ll need Michael’s help for this—they will grow stronger over time. And Michael, this ritual is meant to bind the two of you together. Her power will never eclipse yours—”

“That wouldn’t matter to me,” Michael said.

“In any case, the binding will forever link her power to yours,” her father finished. His gaze turned to her. “You’ve felt it before, haven’t you, then? How your power fortifies in his presence?” She nodded. “This ritual will make that work for both of you, like a well from which you will be able to draw from.”

“And what if we don’t want that? Or…any of this?” she asked, her throat dry, voice suddenly rough.

“You say that as if you think you still have a choice.” Her father laughed, a low and somewhat derisive sound.

She glanced up at Michael and recognized the flash of doubt in his expression, the conflict beneath whatever confidence he’d gained over the last few weeks. It was still there, even if he didn’t say a word. His gaze flickered down to her own and he seemed to understand what she already knew. We’re trapped.

Their lives had been planned before either of them had been conceived, and now it felt like there was no escape, no way to turn back. She shuddered to think of the consequences if they even made the attempt. The idea of Michael’s birthright had always seemed so abstract that she never really grasped the consequences of it being brought into fruition. And now that her own legacy was entwined with his, it all seemed too real, moving far too quickly for her to catch up.

Turning the world into fire and ash had felt like the only option when all she had was anger in her blood, when the world had been nothing but cold and unkind to the two of them. But now that they had each other, did she really want this? Did Michael?

But neither of them had a say in what they wanted. They never did.

“Oh, come now,” her father chided. They watched him gather several candles from a table between two couches. He set them up in a wide circle in the middle of the room, their off-white color stark against the glossy black hardwood floor. “It’s not all bad, I assure you. Power beyond your wildest comprehension, anything you could ever wish for. The world laid out at your feet, yours to rule and reconstruct however you see fit. I could think of worse destinies, darling.”

Once the candles had been laid out, he passed a hand over them, igniting the wicks all at once with a quiet gust of power. “Dreadfully human,” he grumbled. “The both of you.” Michael’s eyes found hers again as he inhaled a deep breath. She felt his fingers slip between hers and held on tightly, her stomach coiling into a knot again. “Time to cast aside whatever reservations you may have—whether you want to or not. You’re both here because Satan commands it. And you would do well to remember that he’s not one to cross.”

He rolled up one of his sleeves to the elbow, then pressed the tip of the blade into his flesh, dragging a line up the inside of his arm. Crimson ran in steady beads downward, droplets raining onto the floor. He lowered into a crouch, working quietly and efficiently with a precision that she assumed had been acquired through practice. As she and Michael stepped closer, they saw the inverted pentagram mapped out on the floor inside the circle of candles.

Her father pulled himself back up to his full height. “Remove your jackets and shoes,” he instructed. “Then I’ll need you both to stand inside the circle.”

There was rustling of fabric as they tugged off layers, not a word spoken between them. Michael draped his cloak and jacket over the back of a chair, and she tossed her own leather jacket on top. She had to sit down to get off her boots—too many laces to untie—and by the time she’d done so, Michael had already dropped his shoes and socks onto the floor. He reached for her hand again, like it was a lifeline, an anchor, and she twined their fingers together, grateful for it. Her hands were already slippery with sweat, but Michael didn’t seem to mind, his grip around her fingers so fierce that she thought their hands might go numb. He was afraid, underneath that stoic, calm façade. He wouldn’t say it, but she could feel it.

Barefoot, they stepped into the circle and stood across from one another with only a few inches between them. The blood had already dried on the floor, but the sensation was still odd beneath her toes.

Her father stood outside the circle, brandishing the knife. “Roll up your sleeves, Michael,” he said.

Michael did so, exposing the pale flesh of his forearms. Her father passed the knife to her, and her breath caught at the weight of it in her hands. Not that it was heavy, but having control of it made a cold sweat break out across her skin. It was a strange knife, the hilt black and inlaid with gold markings that must’ve held some significance.

“You saw what I did to make the pentagram, yes? Cut identical lines into Michael’s arms, and he’ll do the same to you.”

Michael held out his arms, his hands clenched into fists. She rested the edge of the blade on skin just below his elbow, but hesitated. Her eyes flickered up to his, so translucent in the low light of the candles.

“It’s okay,” Michael said softly. “I trust you.”

Blood bubbled up from the edge of the knife, a dark red line from elbow to wrist. He sucked in a breath, nostrils flaring at the pain. She repeated the motion on his other arm before she could think too much about it, then passed the knife over to him. Michael’s fingers had already run with scarlet, his grasp slick around the hilt of the knife. His blood was warm on her skin, the back of her wrist cradled gently in his palm while he traced up her arm. She wasn’t as quiet as he had been, letting out a whispered groan at the burning sting that now traveled up both arms.

“Now,” her father took the knife from Michael, “take each other’s hands.”

They wove their fingers together, so coated in red, dripping onto their toes, that she couldn’t tell what blood belonged to her or Michael. The air was tinged with it, the heat in the room making the scent of iron potent. Ribbons of scarlet run down their arms like rain on a window, and she found herself both mesmerized and a little light headed.

Her father paced around them outside the circle, chanting in a low voice. The flames of the candles danced in his wake, the temperature in the room climbing. She couldn’t have imagined it—she saw the sweat beading on Michael’s temple and felt her dress sticking to the small of her back. Her father continued to speak in a language she couldn’t decipher. It wasn’t Latin; she would’ve recognized Latin, since Ms. Mead had been adamant about the two of them being fluent in it. It sounded like something ancient. An archaic tongue that accompanied images of hellfire and the odor of brimstone.

She gripped Michael’s hands tighter, the coating of blood making her skin grimy and taut. Her knees wobbled a little, the heat in the room squeezing the air out of her lungs. It felt like she was traveling away from her body; if it wasn’t for Michael’s fingers wrapped around her own, she thought she might’ve sunk into the floor.

The influx of power made the candles flicker dangerously. She could feel it, the darkness. Swirling around them in long, endless tendrils, that familiar whisper in her ear. It dragged her under and took root in her soul—and something finally shattered inside her. Something long buried, with claws and sharp teeth and an appetite for destruction. The explosion of power made her drop to her knees, gasping, crying out, overcome with the burden. It was dark, ancient, indescribable…and it scared her, as much as the thrill of it ignited her veins.

Michael had collapsed to his knees in front of her, still holding securely to her hands—her fingers had gone numb and she was sure that his had, too. Blood continued to pool on the on the polished wood and splattered on their clothes. Michael’s cheeks were wet with tears, his head drooping toward the floor so all she saw was a mop of golden curls. The well had been opened, power flowing between both of them unrestrained, stirring up a phantom wind that threatened to extinguish the candles. She thought that maybe the two of them would lose consciousness from the sheer force of it.

When Michael found her again, his eyes were black—that bright blue edged out completely by the darkness. She wondered if her eyes looked the same. She could almost feel it.

Her father grinned, standing over them. “Ave Satanas.”

The candles went out.

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idk-loving-kpop · 5 years

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FYI SUPER LONG POST! You have be warn, but still show it some love. okay!

OKAY!!! Super excited!!! Cause 1 this is the LAST ONE I have before I open my ships again. 2 I LOVE doing my “triple threats” with BTS. Okay cause after Super Junior, BTS is my bias group (no thanks to my friend who ask me to go to their concert, literally I went to their concert & became a fan of them because I saw them live.)

This person sent me the request via messaging ... She requested Selca, Written & Astrology.

When people request all 3 ships this is how I do them.

1st : Selca - To me easiest ones you can do. I base it on looks & vibe.

2nd: Written - How person describes his/herself looks & personalities. The more details the better. JUST DON’T START WRITING YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY. *lol*

3rd: Astrology - This take me the longest to do because especially if I have to compare DOB. And I have to check astrology signs for the members, which at this point I have some memorized, but some I don’t.

----------------------------- LET US BEGIN -----------------------------

DOB: DAY/MONTH/YEAR

I'm 5'4, slim thick/hourglass figure (a uk size 8 but my breast are +DD and my waist is 24 inches so it gets hidden by my boobs a lot which is honestly kind of annoying), I have brown eyes, and naturally dark brown hair buts its bleached platinum blonde and its shoulder length.

I am a ambivert. I can be outgoing when a want but its usually around people i'm comfortable around or familiar surroundings. but I can also be quite withdrawn and shy especially around someone I like. I have social anxiety which makes me a lot more quiet around new people or in situations which involve public speaking (I even start shaking because my anxiety levels spike so high). I love music and am always singing. I can't dance but I really love dancing and at one point wanted to be a dancer but I never really got a chance to take any lessons or anything so...yeah. I'm a creative person so I enjoy art such as drawing and painting when I feel motivated to. I love love love reading my favourite book is probably The hobbit by Tolkien. tbh i'm interested in anything that tickles my fancy. I'm a huge nerd! Anime, memes, vines, manga, video games I love it all. My fave video games are interactive ones like Tomb Raider, Outlast, Uncharted, Dead Space, etc. I'm studying History and Archaeology at Uni and museums are my second home. Although I am quite soft spoken and kind hearted (I literally cry if something on tv is heart-warming or sad like if a dad and his son have a heart to heart and hug or something) BUT I am also outspoken. My BS meter is low so if someone is chatting shit about something i don't agree with such a racism. sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, men staring or harassing women or girl, etc I have to say something. I just can't sit there and let it be. I am quite outdoorsy I love working out, running, martial arts, football, etc. I grew up going football club and taking karate and MMA so I've always been pretty active. also lowkey i'm a huge tree-hugger (literally and mentally) I once bumped into a tree and hugged it and said sorry....I studied Geography in High school and sixth form so i'm very passionate about the environment, animals, etc. P.S. I LOOOVE ANIMALS mainly cats overall I am a huge sucker for animals. I'm also a older sibling so i'm quite protective of the ones I love and literally would do anything for them or to protect them. I have insomnia so i'm a night owl but I've always been like that I usually only sleep for about 4-5 hours and i'm good to go. I love having deep conversations late at night with my sister, thinking about trippy things like what the meaning of life is and if aliens exist or if planet of the apes actually happened and what would we do? I also really enjoy movies; mainly horror movies even though they scare the shit out of me, I still watch them. Also i'm all about girls supporting girls. Girl power all the way. I also south Asian so desi culture is also very important and very prominent in the way I behave. I usually speak a mixture of Urdu and English in my sentences as opposed to just speaking one language at a time. I really love languages so i'm also learning Korean and i'm studying latin at Uni. i think that's all.....i'm pretty sure i left something out but it feels like I've been typing for years so i'm going to stop now...soz if this is a lot. also i wrote this as fast as i can so i apologise for the spelling and grammar mistakes

Damn ... I didn’t know how much you wrote until I copied & pasted on the post . *lol* ... It didn’t seem that long when I was reading it. Ok, so I put in bold stuff that stood out to me ok.

FYI shout to all the girls w/ big boob problems ... I have the same issue it is really annoying. I joke w/ my friend all the time that I would give her half of my boobs / body fat cause she is skinny a flat . *lmao*

I can’t help myself so I will make some comments ... I am the same way, I can’t sing or dance (even though I am Latina) but I do it anyways because ever sine I was little I love music & boy groups. So I will keep on doing me. I have a great work environment that we do that at work sometimes too. I’m not a talented in the arts what so ever. But I have always loved and appreciated them.

That is so interesting that you are studying that in Uni. History has always been my favorite subject, quiet a nerd when it comes to almost got a perfect score on my state test when I was in school (fyi I hated school but I liked learning). Not many people study that in Uni/College.

The tree incident made me laugh so much ... Again your not alone cause I sure do have a picture when I was on a high school trip of me hugging a tree. *lmao*

The meaning of life, is different for everyone. We can’t have functioning society without everyone doing their own part. Everyone life means something, no life is great than another life.

Aliens do exist. Our universe is so big for just the human race to exist. Also I grew up watching Star Trek and I like watching Doctor Who.

If planets of the apes happen I would die.

When I read “girl power” literally said it like Spice Girls with the peace sign & everything …

Okay I will shut up now & get to the ships …

Western Sign: Pisces Eastern Sign: Tiger “Ideal” Partners for Pisces: Cancer and Scorpio “Ideal” Partners for Tiger: Horse and Dog

BTS Selca – JHope (Aquarius / Dog)

BTS Written – RM (Virgo / Dog)

BTS Astrology – Suga (Pisces / Rooster)

Western – Suga

Eastern – RM & Jhope

Comparing DOB Suga matched better, followed by Hobi a close second and then Namjoon.

Shout out to V who came in 2nd place on my Selca & Written.

Stray Kids Selca – Hyunjin (Pisces / Dragon)

Stray Kids Written – Lee Know (Scorpio / Tiger)

Stray Kids Astrology – Lee Know (Scorpio / Tiger)

Western – Lee Know & Hyunjin

Eastern – Lee Know

And NO I didn’t plan it like this it sort of just happen. And yea it is a lil freaky that Astrology ships kinda had the answers to Selca & Written … For Stray Kids couldn’t find much of their personality or ideal type so I kinda based it on hobbies more than anything. Probably has the years go by & they do more interviews and stuff, I can better match them with people.

Hope you like your results.

And let me know what y’all think!

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blueymoons · 5 years

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40. I Made This For You & 66. Stay Over

For @hobbeshalftail3469 and @crazymarauder

I give you: Part 3 of the 100 Ways To Say “I Love You” prompt list challenge I’ve set for myself.

“Where are you?” Robin asked her partner as she twirled a pen through her fingers and stared at the ceiling of their office. “I’m still at the office, I thought we might have a drink after your surveillance is done.”

“I’m just down the street. I’ll be up in a mo’” Cormoran’s shout came down the line, almost lost in the noise of the jackhammers that were still tearing up Denmark Street. It sometimes felt to Robin like the roadworks were never going to end.

Three years she’d been working with Cormoran, first as his assistant, newly engaged and high on love and anticipation of a beautiful wedding and a happy future. Then she’d fallen in love with the job and become his partner while hiding from the realization that the man she was planning to marry was jealous and petty. Then she’d married that jealous and petty man, only to realize, walking the beach on her honeymoon that she was likely not only just in love with the job…but also with her partner. It had taken another year, feeling guilty for all of the money spent, and the time wasted on the wedding, before she'd discovered that Matthew had been cheating on her, allowing her to find the courage to initiate the divorce she'd just celebrated the finalization of.

Cormoran was as different from Matthew as night was from day. Matthew had been thin and lanky, trim and golden. Cormoran was huge. Enormous hands, big chest, massive shoulder span, and, most wonderfully to Robin, large of heart.

Matthew had been smaller than Cormoran in so many ways.

Her only regret was that she’d ignored that smallness for so long.

She heard the downstairs door bang as Cormoran entered the building, followed by his heavy tread on the stairs and reached over to drop the pen in the pen holder her dear friend Ilsa Herbert had made her at her first ever pottery class.

It was wonky and misshapen, but it was one of Robin’s most prized possessions. Robin would never forget the shocked and joyful look on Ilsa’s face as she’d noticed it on Robin’s desk three days after she’d given it to Robin, with a slightly embarrassed “I made this for you”, at the Christmas party she and her husband Nick had thrown.

Robin had been a long time without friends of her own, since most of their friends had been Matthew’s mates. She wasn’t sad that she’d “lost” them in the divorce. They’d never been hers to begin with.

But when Cormoran had introduced Robin to his oldest mate Ilsa, shortly after Robin had discovered that Matthew had cheated on her back in uni, she’d felt an instant bond snap into place. It had taken some time and a little awkwardness, but now, after having lived in their spare room for the last few months while she’d saved everything she could to be able to afford a new flat of her own, Robin was an almost permanent fixture at the Herbert household.

A fact that only put her and Cormoran in even more constant contact with each other.

Cormoran swung the office door open with a loudly heaved sigh of relief. “I’m so glad this case is finished,” he exclaimed. “I don’t think I could have taken much more sitting in the park watching that woman massacre art.”

“You got something then?” For the last two weeks they’d been tailing a woman they’d nicknamed Nonet, whose husband suspected her of cheating. So far, they’d not turned up anything other than that she liked to paint really terrible watercolors in Regents Park in the midafternoon. Sometimes she was joined by another young woman who also set up to paint, and seemingly chat, but they’d seen no evidence of Nonet cheating.

“C'mere and have a look,” Cormoran held out his phone to Robin gesturing for her to come to him. She slid around the edge of her desk and moved close to his side. He shifted his weight slightly to the foot closest to her and handed her the phone. This close to him she could smell the lingering tobacco smoke wafting around him, as well as the faint bay rum scent of his aftershave or cologne. It had become an increasingly tantalizing mix of smells over the last three years.

She started flipping through pictures of Nonet chatting to the other woman who was ginger haired and very thin. Cormoran’s arm brushed against the side of her breast as he mumbled, "Here," and reached out to flick to the next set of pictures, impatient for her to see what he’d seen. She knew he didn’t realize he’d brushed against her, but it still sent a frisson of heat through her.

Sometimes she wished he did realize.

“Oh my God!” Robin suddenly exclaimed, her hand grasping the arm he still had extended toward the phone in shock, as the next picture showed the two women leaning into each other, tongues fully engaged in the other’s mouth. “What the…?” she trailed off, completely astounded.

Cormoran’s dark eyes were amused at the shock on her face as she glanced up at him. “I know.” He nodded as he took the phone from her and started the process of emailing the pictures to their Dropbox so that they could be printed and filed in the file to be given to Nonet’s husband tomorrow. “I almost dropped my phone,” he chuckled. He shifted his weight again, and asked “You ready to head to the pub?” with his eyes still on his phone. “I’m dying for a pint.”

“Yep," she nodded as she turned away from him, smiling at the eagerness in his voice. Very little could stand between Cormoran and a pint of Doom Bar. "Let me grab my bag and shut down.”

He hummed low in his throat, a sound she knew to be one of assent, and walked to the door, still fiddling with his phone. She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he opened the door, then propped himself against the door jamb, to wait patiently for her to go through her routine of shutting the computer down and cleaning up her desk for the day.

His head was lowered toward his phone, allowing the curls on his head to flop forward slightly. His big hands worked on his phone as he turned, absentmindedly to scratch his back against the edge of the door jamb. He was wearing a light blue button down with the sleeves rolled to just below his elbows, a pair of black slacks and the boots he usually wore when he was going to be on surveillance. He shouldn’t have been as attractive to her as he was.

But he was. And lately there had been something slightly different about him. She just hadn't been able to put her finger on what it was. He dressed the same. His hair was just as unruly as ever. He'd lost well over a stone over the last few months. But none of that was the reason for this nagging feeling of something being different about him.

Brushing the thought away with a small shake of her head she picked up her bag and slung it across her chest as she walked to the door, keys in hand. “Let’s go.”

He glanced up at her, and she noticed a flash of surprise in his eyes as he realized how close she was to him. But he quickly grinned his crinkly eyed grin at her, her favorite one, and swept his arm forward in a mock courtly gesture for her to proceed him out the door. “After you ma’am.”

She snickered as she passed him and stopped, waiting for him to follow her out and shut the door so she could lock it.

As she was doing so, she felt a slight tug on the hair she’d swept up into a ponytail to combat the heat in the office this afternoon. She glanced around with eyebrows raised in surprise, to find him laughing. “I’m sorry. It was too tempting,” he laughed. “You don’t often wear it like this.” He reached up to tug it again. "I kind of like it." His grin was getting crinklier by the moment.

“It was warm today. And I got tired of it being in my face.” She swatted at him, surprised that he’d been so forward. Though they’d only gotten closer over the last year, hugging more often and kissing the other’s cheek in social settings, their physicality with each other hadn’t progressed much further than that. They were comfortable, but not touchy-feely. Not that Robin would have minded that changing.

There had been many times during the course of her relationship with Cormoran that she’d yearned to rub his back consolingly or grasp his hand in support, especially when he was in pain. Occasionally she’d allowed herself to do that. But she’d not made a habit of it, mostly because he tended to stiffen up when she touched him unexpectedly, for some reason.

“You’re like a boy in Primary school. Tugging on the ponytail of the girl he likes,” she smirked as she turned away from him to head toward the stairs with a shake of her head.

Her foot had just lowered to the first step when she realized what she’d said and she whipped back around, words spilling from her mouth, “That is…,” only to see his dark eyes on her and lit with something that made her feel slightly breathless. “I only meant…,” she tried again.

He stepped closer and she stepped back up onto the landing, turning to face him as he neared her.

But he only continued to watch her face as his hand reached out again, grasping her ponytail and giving it a gentle tug, before allowing his hand to slide down the tail of hair to the back of her neck. His head lowered, and her chin lifted as her eyes closed instinctively. She felt his breath against her ear in a rasped whisper, “Are we going to the pub, Robin?”

He stayed there. His hand on the back of her neck. His lips against her ear. Waiting.

And suddenly she realized, maybe he was aware that he’d brushed against her a few minutes ago.

Maybe the something that had changed about him was the way he looked at her. The way he stood closer to her. The way he shifted slightly closer to her when she was near.

Robin had no idea where she found the courage, but standing on the landing, next to the door of the office they shared every day, enveloped in his unique scent of smoke and bay rum, surrounded by his massive body, she turned her head, allowing her lips to graze his ear, eliciting a sharply indrawn breath from him, and whispered back, “Yes."

She felt his shoulders deflate slightly against her, then continued, "Unless you want to ask me to stay over.”

He drew back and once again, this time his eyes were blazing with unbanked lust. He slid his hand down her ponytail again, allowing his hand to cradle the back of her head in his huge palm, then bringing his right hand up to cup the side of her face, brushing his thumb just under her bottom lip, before lowering his lips to hers in the sweetest and most erotically tender kiss she’d ever received.

He kissed her tentatively but became bolder as she responded in kind. Her hands gripped his shirt as his hands cradled her head before sliding lower to wrap around her waist and lift her slightly off the floor, and into his body.

He broke the kiss after a few moments and grinned that crinkly grin she loved so much, his eyes warm and tender on her face. “Robin?”

“Hmmm?”

“Stay over?”

She brushed her hand across his forehead, brushing his curls back into place and kissed him again, murmuring against his lips, “Sure

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