More and more I feel like large studios set up their more ‘woke’ and diverse projects up to fail.

Are you one of the people expecting bkdk to be canon? I just learned that there are people that sincerely believe Hori would have Deku and Bkg have an explicit confession of love. That he's going to be the first popular mangaka to have a endgame gay ship. I am in so many mlm ships of shounen but I've never had the delusion that the author would make them canon despite the evidences otherwise. Like I thought it's fine to ship mlm as long as we stayed in our lane and never harassed the author.

After speaking together, we do believe based on the evidence in the series that BakuDeku being canon is not an even vaguely unreasonable conclusion to reach. We think the story is written in a way you can reach that conclusion easily, so much that even casual viewers who aren’t shippers are questioning the nature/potential conclusion of their relationship.

One of the most consistent and convincing lines of evidence for us has been Katsuki taking on roles/positions traditionally reserved for female heroines/love interests (if you’ve seen anyone call him “narratively androgynous,” this is what they’re referring to). In the context of Jump magazine, we have a number of shonen heroines and love interests to compare Katsuki to. The similarities are so striking that many notable people (including the VAs for the anime) have taken to calling him the heroine of the series.

However, we do think things like homophobia (whether it’s the writer or the audience/consumerbase at large– in this case we’re primarily referring to the audience), the safety of everyone involved, and timing are all unpredictable factors people have to take into consideration when writing/reading a story of this magnitude. Needless to say, if Horikoshi is indeed planning an endgame for bakudeku, he’d also have to take these factors into consideration.

Horikoshi has a record of being pretty in-tune with his fanbase. He definitely keeps some eye on bnha’s reception–for example, he mentioned a while back that both the people who love Katsuki and the people who hate him will have something to look forward to in this finale (we can now see what he meant lol). He’s very likely aware of the people who love bakudeku and the people who loathe it. 

Taking into account that he tends to be very intentional with his writing choices, he’s written this story in a way that not only centered bakudeku’s relationship over others (notably Izuku + Ochako’s, the character he’d presumably end up with if things were going predictably?), but also went the extra mile to distinguish their relationship as unique, closer than all their other relationships, the “biggest pillar of the story” (x, x). He didn’t have to do all of this. This extra push is what’s giving bakudeku that undeniable chance at an endgame right now, because it’s come to a point where no one can ignore the implications of scenes like this:

On the flip side, we don’t think people’s hesitation is unreasonable. It’s scary! If bakudeku were to fall flat of all this buildup/our expectations, it wouldn’t be the first time the romantic implications between a pair of boys in a story like this was ignored. Hell it wouldn’t be the first time a popular pair in general, (gay or not) got ignored in favor of what the author just felt like doing, regardless of what any previous developments in the story or interviews or official artwork would have us believe. There’s enough written evidence that canon bakudeku wouldn’t be surprising, but there’s also (at the time of writing this response) still room for things to go another direction, for all of this to be recontextualized and passed as something else. 

As per social norms/patterns of behavior, this would be disappointing as hell but not surprising. Especially for people who have been let down before, we completely understand the need/impulse to distance oneself from the idea/hope that bakudeku may become canon.

In all honesty, if it turns out bakudeku isn’t canon or left open-ended (say, an ending where they’re partners of some kind/the closest to one another without that explicit romantic confirmation), we would be frustrated/heartbroken. Not because we feel like Horikoshi shouldn’t do what he wants, he should. But because there’s been a clear effort to bring LGBTQ+ readers into the fold, and tell and portray our experiences in MHA. Horikoshi has done a beautiful, incredible job of writing various LGBTQ+ and marginalized experiences as a metaphor in his stories. Toga is a prime example. This is something that readers around the world have noticed, and it’s something MHA is special for (see this data x, and the further context/commentary on it given here x). 

We think it’s intentional. This story and the relationships in it have invoked experiences close and personal to many of us. Things are in a state right now where we wouldn’t just feel baited, we feel like readers would have a right to feel unsatisfied.

That being said, feeling unsatisfied doesn’t equate to feeling empowered to harass or bother others. Especially not Horikoshi himself, and also including other readers who had differing expectations. This is really the case across the board. We should all be able to control our anticipation/expectations without becoming assholes. 

It’s not just the shippers, by the way. People who work on the series or work closely with Horikoshi have rooted for bakudeku to go beyond. Izuku and Katsuki have already done what a good chunk of the readerbase thought impossible and became friends. People see their writing, their potential, and they want more. The voice actors (x, x sorry for the crunchy pic it's all i've got atm), academics (x), musicians (x, x) , editors (x) and more have all kind of rallied around Bakugou and Deku’s bond, with a particular sensitivity towards the deeply and uniquely intimate nature of it + how it evokes romance.

We’d like to see MHA exist free of the burdens previous popular shounen series have had placed on them. But that’s a conversation for the ending. As far as the fanbase goes, I think it’s super important people practice humility and caution when speaking to others. We have NO way of knowing what will happen. People who have been traumatized by situations like this in the past have a right to be anxious, people in general are allowed to withhold judgment until we have all the information we need. However, we don’t think having hope or confidence that this narrative might lead us to a canon bakudeku is unwarranted or delusional.

At the end of the day one thing is true, and this was something we had to fight to “prove” much longer than we had to prove Bakudeku had romantic potential - it’s that Kacchan and Izuku’s lives are going to be forever intertwined in this new era of their world that births from the finale. 

They’re forever intertwined in a way that’s not replicable for any other character in the series, and that’s amazing all on its own. We’ll just have to wait and see how far they take it! Thanks for reading if you got this far, and Happy Holidays!

Trying to distract myself my hand at this stuff first time, and want to see how it goes.

I'm so guilty of doing this exactly even tho i love them because uh um to guilt trip myself? yeah.

Warning: yandere?? obsession, jealousy, all around depressed traveler time hahah

Long Abandoned

The traveler may be the hero(/ine) of Tevyat, but there's just no value if they're not your main character anymore...

They hate feeling helpless like this. The envy could only gnaw at their core deeper as they merely watch how you switch between characters, having the others to stand on a high pedestal of your best team.

There's few who share their feelings, but even the others, have more turns than them to be picked in the judgement of your hand.

“It should've been me.”

At first, it was such a great honor and responsibility that fell upon their small shoulders to bear your presence through them, as the unraveller of the stories and dialogues, as the one who does fishing with you, as the one who take actions in cutscenes... Many others even get jealous yet amazed at them at the same time.

But now, they are all mere dull chances, further pointing out their inability. They ache for you to use them in battle, for your hand choose them yourself. Not to only be shrouded by your eyes feasting upon their prowess but to feel the high and compassion they once got from being controlled around. Like the first time... When it was only between them, and you.

They're only your puppet on a string, but that's exactly why and they felt the most alive to be moved by you...

The traveler does time to time take notes of the characters you usually use, is it from their designs, behavioral patterns, or their stories that intrigue you so much?

They have all of that! They're not just plain cardboard characters They have depth too, for goodness sake they're literally your first five-star character! Don't they matter to you? ...they should be, but it's the fact that you see them as if they aren't worthy of your attention/respect to be used ever again—it's undeniable and simply says everything about them.

They know they shouldn't be despising those others who are so lucky (they can feel the others looking with pity and mock), it's your only rightful choice after all... They try to focus more on the shameful part of their feelings and wallowing in self pity, it helps them cope with the reality sometimes.

They know the others stuck out like a sore thumb yet colorful cast to you, compared to them...

If you're the one who doesn't have any intention of using them ever again simply because they're not to your interest, well... what can they do? As much as they want to rebel, they are pretty much powerless against the program.

(They still look out for any of the slightest chances and slip-ups of the code, they use anything they find to their advantage.)

If you're the one who had fun using them, who still like them even to this moment but for some reason won't use them, well... at least they still have a place to belong in your heart and mind, somewhere...

Ah, but trust them! They still always do their utmost best and give it their all (as much as they could in looking like that anyway) on simply being viewpoints through the lens of you for a minute or so at the dialogues.

Even if they may pass as an afterthought or a second choice, that's okay, it's maybe just their time coming at a later but fitting moment.

They won't stop having hope (and resorting to drastic measures) for those good times to return. Nothing they wouldn't do if it's for your blessings... after all, they're vital for those 'archon quests' to progress the story aren't they?

Tackling a few of my most recent experiences wiwth the internet. Don't read if harassment and racism trigger you. I don't mean harm, this is supposed to be a safe space. Comments I deem negative will be deleted so that others feel comfortable just going around and say whatever.

1. Shipping

I completely understand people's worries with Punkflower but guys, instead of worrying about non confirmed ages, can we worry about kicking out actually problematic people off the internet doing stuff to real life minors? Miles was 14 when I was 14. He is now 15 and I am 18, I still love Miles the same way, ans that doesn't compromise my morals.

A person's ship between characters doesn't say about their morals entirely. Of course, sometimes it's undeniably creepy, like characters clearly presented as parental figures being shipped with kids that were supposed to look up at them. That's weird, don't do that. Or, idk, thinking it's a good idea to jerk your dog off. (I saw documentaries, those who do too knkw what I am talking about)

Point is, pls don't harass people who don't mean actual harm. Hobie's uncomfirmed age range shouldn't cause as much hate as it does. I disagree with nsfw from time to time because it is weird, but I mostly see couple-y stuff with a few jokes, and honestly? I absolutely adore it. I encourage you to try it. I used to absolutely hatee on people who ship any characters slightly older with whatever character the topic is. I would literally try to gate keep the whole fanart community cause "She's a minor, STOP!" and honestly it was stupid asf. I'm not telling you to encourage it, just don't be mean about it. It feels stupid. If you don't disagree, and the post isn't causing harm, just don't engage.

2. Shameless racism/harassment

Recently I've faced people both in and out of omegle who seem particularly shameless, feeling safe around their little homes thinking ol' mean me won't mind. I am using this opportunity to expose a particular someone who seems very keen on being weird. I grew up around weird guys, and I often identify them easily, but for some reason I pushed the lil gut feeling away. If you have the same problem, pls listen to that feeling. It's there to avoid situations that might be upsetting.

Starting with Omegle, people seem very comfortable with racism (and search of minors to flash them). I receive jokes indicating they want me to be shot, find me ugly, make faces of disgust, call me a slave, etc etc. Not to mention I even found teenagers joking about beastiality being 'awesome'. Kids rlly need to get supervised, cause I am telling y'all, some were barely 14.

Now, I had an interesting interaction on instagram with a Miles Morales account. He came to me cause I was rping as Peter and invited me in his server on discord. I got the gut feeling from his habit of trying to flirt with Gwen profiles and spamming pictures of him in a suit. For some reason, some people have a pattern of spamming pictures when they want praise and always require attention from specific people, and I know this cause I've been harassed over this before. Days later, I was matching with my bff as an anime couple so I changed and he realized I'm born female. He asked me to be rio instead, without knowing my age, and went ahead and offered 'fun', and that 'I can't tell anyone'. What happened essentially is that I called him out, he said I was disrespecting him, I blocked him, so he made a new account to cuss me out and threaten to report me. I feel indifferent about it, but if you have anyone with similar behavior, save yourself the trouble and block them. (His discord is 'dmoney520' so avoid interacting w him pls)

3. Sexualizing a content creator

I don't mean Dream, or corpse husband, or whoever tf. I am talking about a poor 16(ish) year old called Eddie who makes content for the fact he sounds like Hobie brown, and he has people saying shit like "wanna get pregnant?" The guy just started worrying about whatever the place he lives in worries around this time.

It's honestly creepy how people will actively harass punkflower creators but then barely notice a full ass guy who is still deemed a minor regardless of what American law says getting weirdass comments from people they don't even know. Literally flabbergasted at this discovery. Not mad, just genuinely upset.

These people often forget that websites can track their activity and its hilarious to me, so whatever. This was my report on my feelings after a week of internet, and honestly? I wanna delete it. My punkflower AU happy ending is coming so if that's what you wanted, great!

The Only Choice +18

Spooktober Day 2!

Fandom: One Piece (Highschool AU)

Ship: Yandere!Ace X Petite!F!Reader (Ace is 19 and Reader is 18)

Warnings: Yandere behavior, possessive behavior, murder, Law does not survive, incredibly dubious consent/borderline noncon, coercion, manipulation, groping, kitchen sex, foreplay, nipple/breast play, oral sex (female receiving), aggressive sex, sex as a tool for manipulation, and creampie.

All the red flags here, I stg keep this in mind before reading.

Word Count: 5,231

To say Ace’s childhood growing up was rough would be… an understatement. While not exactly a feral child, the way he was openly encouraged to explore the mountain range to his heart’s content from a young age did jack shit to his social skills. Instead of learning how to share his blocks and manage his temper, he learned more… useful things. How to move silently at night among predators. How to stalk and hunt prey animals—and later the predators he emulated so well. Ace learned all sorts of important lessons in the heart of the forest.

Then Sabo came along and taught him the things he missed out on. How to hold a proper conversation—that eye contact wasn’t a sign of aggression. Basic social etiquette and behavior—he should not bludgeon competitors to death with a club in broad daylight. What personal space even was—snapping his teeth may be an effective way to clear up space but was undeniably rude. Still, he was incredibly rough around the edges. Really, it was Luffy that taught him how to behave like a more balanced young man, ironically enough.

Wrangling the embodiment of chaos sure does some things to an ingrained pattern of aggressive behavior. And Luffy was quite durable and forgiving for his screw ups, unlike Sabo who gave as good as he got. A perfect little pipeline for a terror of a mountain child to eventually be given to a chaotic family that taught him to embrace but control his wild urges. Whitebeard was indulgent of his behavior—but only to a point. And he was absolutely capable of bringing him back in line when needed.

So, eventually, Ace was ready to enter the school system without being a flight, fight, or tiny terrorist risk. Sure, he was held back a year, but to be fair… no one remembered to teach him how to read in all that socialization. But he worked hard and got back on track. And he would have probably half assed everything right up till graduation if it hadn’t of been for one thing.

His precious little sweetheart. You.

Having transferred in a bit late during their shared first year of high school, Ace had always been aware of her. How could he not? A sweet little thing in a sea of sweaty, hormonal teens. It took a lot of work, but over the course of three years, Ace steadily made his way into the highly prized position of being her best friend. Anyone that wanted to get near her went through him first. Overhyped football players, weak little twig boys, and unredeemable perverts alike.

And he did an excellent job of keeping the filth of the school far away from his sweetheart right up until he had to leave for a few weeks on vacation. Gramps lost several boxes of rice crackers to the ocean under mysterious circumstances for that, even if he did enjoy spending time with his brothers in peace. But look what happens when he leaves her alone! Gone for a month and some fancy fucking prick moves in on her!

What. The. Fuck.

He never wanted to hear a crack about his cowboy hat after seeing the spotted monstrosity Trafalgar D. Water Law wore. And he had the fucking audacity to put his hands on you? To think he was good enough to even hold hands in the hall—mother fucker didn’t even bother to look happy about it! Law just kept wearing that same smug look the whole time like Ace couldn’t see jack shit!

It wasn’t like he’d never seen Law before now. They had crossed paths in the hallways. Shared projects in English class on occasion. And Ace knew Law had a few science projects with you as well over the years. But Law had always kept his nose in his books unless he was required to or walking that massive white dog. Bepo, he thought. Although, is that really all Law had done?

Ace was your best friend. You wouldn’t suddenly date someone without telling him first! Not… not unless you were coerced. He could see it now. You, sweet precious thing that you were, taken advantage of. Lead astray to keep secrets like Ace wasn’t working tirelessly to keep you safe. With a sneer, Ace supposed that in such a scenario, it wasn’t entirely impossible Law nursed a crush in your delicate heart. Encouraging you to think of him romantically. Law wasn’t the most hideous man at their school.

And with Ace gone for a whole month well… a lot of things can happen over a month. He’d need to correct this situation as soon as possible. But first, he needed to know exactly what happened while he was gone. And if this had been brewing for longer than he expected. The punishment had to fit the crime, naturally.

He wasn’t a feral mountain child anymore, after all. Mostly.

Giving you his best smile, he slid over to your other side and beamed.

“Well, well, well. When did this happen? You didn’t tell me you were all grown up now!” Ace teased, ruffling your hair and ignoring your protests. You were smiling and laughing, which was all the go-ahead Ace needed. Law however, was still a smug bastard as he held your other hand, chaining you to his side. Like he had any right!

“Ace! Stop that!” You scoffed, smacking his arm lightly, “And uhm… we… we thought it would be nice to try it out, you know? Just to see where it goes.”

Ace felt his muscles tense with rage but maintained his pleasant expression. This fucker just wanted to string you along! And for what?! How long?! Until he’s taken everything you have that belongs to him—

“Ooo~, what little love birds you two are. Try not to make me gag too much, ‘kay sweetheart?” Ace winked, ruffling your hair again strutting to his class. Unfortunately, he didn’t share any class periods with you this semester. Something he was unable to rectify in time without looking suspicious. Still, it did provide him the space he would sorely need to plan how to get rid of this new pest.

He'd hate to let down Oyaji by allowing a little problem like this to bite him in the ass later. In the meantime,… he’d play nice.

Tigers never found success without stalking their kills first after all.

Still, it was hard for Ace. Watching you fall for Law’s tricks hook, line, and sinker. You both sat together at lunch every day, held hands whenever possible, went on dates when time allowed. And Ace grew to resent Law more with every passing hour. That damn smug look a permanent expression regardless of how cute you acted, hanging off Law’s arm. Ace should have given you the talk long ago and avoided this whole mess to start with. But really… deep down, Ace was a romantic at heart.

And what was more romantic than planning the perfect way to get rid of your soon-to-be-ex so he could sweep you off your feet properly?

As it turns out, it was actually not that hard to plan Law’s death. See, he was actually quite sickly as a child. Some sort of poisoned water situation in his hometown. Eventually he got better, but his internal organs were severely damaged in the process. Not enough to replace them entirely, but enough to require a careful diet for several years. Like, for example, his kidneys.

Honestly, Ace could almost feel bad about the whole thing. Law waxed on about his dream to become a doctor in the hopes of preventing his childhood disaster on several occasions. He was probably smart enough to do a lot of good for the world. If he had kept his fucking hands to himself first that is.

Who knew a few milligrams of mushroom concentrate could cause a total renal failure within hours? And who would have guessed the stoic Trafalgar Law would choose to keep quiet about his little ‘stomach bug’ as his guardians left town for the weekend?

Ace chuckled to himself as he crept away from the house, leaving no trail to follow. The fact that Ace had wrapped Law in a blanket with a gag in place to make sure of it was simply a happy accident. He wanted to tie Law to a chair but the bruises would look suspicious. And arranging a camping trip ‘just for the boys’ was too obvious, even if he fed Law to the mountain lions.

No, Ace was actually running errands for Oyaji all night! Several people can attest to that fact if questioned.

Which no one did.

Because poor Law, honor student and future doctor, passed quietly in his sleep after taking more pain medication for his sudden illness. An illness that proved fatal and swift. What was there to question with those facts in mind?

The toll this took on you, of course, was incredible. You were inconsolable for days, your tender heart shattered from the sudden death of your boyfriend. As much as Ace hated to see you cry—especially over that bastard—it was necessary. Like… removing an invasive species for the betterment of all. But Ace was there every minute he could be. Oyaji was very understanding as well, allowing Ace to stay at your house for as long as needed.

He was also quite proud of how Ace handled the situation on his own, but that little detail was simply icing on the top!

For the most part, consoling you involved watching old movies with your head tucked under his chin. Encouraged by Ace conveniently turning the air down slightly past your normal tolerance. Thinning frame cuddled in a blanket fort at his side as he encouraged you to cry it all out and eat something. Anything. The outside world didn’t exist as far as you were concerned. And while Ace definitely appreciated catching up on personal time with you… your health was something else entirely. This whole ‘mourning’ thing was taking too long. Especially for someone that didn’t deserve to be with you to begin with.

Thankfully, Ace had better tact than to say that… maybe he should have staged an elopement to make this easier for you? Too late now, really. A thought for the future perhaps. Not that there would ever be a chance he lets this happen twice. But how to ensure it? How does he help you move on from Law faster?

The answer came with a crockpot that Thatch provided—wonderful big brother that he was, honestly where would he be without his family or you? The crockpot held a hearty soup, perfect for broken hearts. The trick was getting you to eat. The little bites of crackers or ice cream you held down never lasted before a crying fit tossed them back up. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think Law had also poisoned you literally. But he couldn’t hurt you anymore. Not with Ace here to keep a careful eye on your fragile, loving heart.

Ace pondered the dilemma as he waited for the crockpot to heat up. The house empty as your parents were at work and the two of you excused on ‘bereavement’. Well, you were excused. Ace simply had Oyaji excuse him for the time being to support you with the promise that as soon as you were more stable the both of you would have study sessions with Marco to catch up. There wasn’t any sense in letting tragedy derail your education, now was there? Law had done enough damage as it was.

A sniffle in the doorway alerted Ace to your presence as you shuffled into the kitchen. A duvet draped over your shoulders as you gave a weepy smile.

“Smells good… I’m sorry you have to see me like this, Ace.” You sniffled again, “I-I promise I won’t be a crybaby forever.” Ace rushed over, throwing his arms around your covered shoulders and rubbing your back.

“No, no, sweetheart! It’s okay! I’m not going anywhere. That’s my promise.” Ace consoled despite the sneer he hid in your hair, “Law meant a lot to you. It’s perfectly normal to be upset.” Slowly, he walked backwards until he was next to the counter and picked you up. Gently, he set you down on the counter and braced himself to lean over you, kissing your forehead softly.

“Thank you, Ace.” You whispered, moving to rub your eyes but he beat you to it. Gently wiping away your tears with a soft smile as you shivered. Ace frowned in concern and you shook your head. “Just cold. I… haven’t eaten a lot lately. I-I’m so tired, Ace. But I can’t sleep. I keep seeing Law… I wish I could forget. Just… just for a little while.”

Suddenly, Ace had an idea. A wonderful, brilliant idea.

“I hate seeing you like this too… Could… Could I try something?” Ace asked in his softest voice, “I’ll stop if you want me to but nothing else has worked so I thought…” You frowned, cute face scrunched up in confusion.

“Try what, Ace?” Slowly, deliberately, Ace cradled your face in his hands. Warm palms pressing against your cold cheeks. Not wanting to fuck up this soon, he kissed your forehead. Then your nose. Slow, lingering touches against your skin as you made a confused sound at the back of your throat. “W-What are you doing, Ace?”

“Warming you up… giving you something else to think about.” Ace brushed his hands back, threading his fingers through your hair with a deceptively light pressure to keep you still. “Just focus on me, baby. Nothing else matters. Let me help you forget… just for a little while.” Ace tested the waters by pressing a kiss to the corner of your lips. You didn’t move away from him, seemingly frozen in surprise.

He could feel you physically wavering, wanting to pull away out of a misplaced sense of loyalty to a dead man and lean into the creature comfort Ace readily offered. Ace held perfectly still for a long moment before pulling away. Just a little.

And you followed the motion, sliding your lips to press firmly against his own. Ace felt like screaming in victory—but the fight wasn’t over yet. He needed to wipe Law from your mind completely.

Ace sighed, just a little dramatically like he was relieved you didn’t slap him. Pulling open his lips to encourage you to do the same, tongue running across the narrow gap as you gasped. Chasing the sharp inhale eagerly. He slipped his tongue over yours and you pulled away suddenly with a sharp hiccup and tears.

“I-I can’t!” You shook your head, pressing your hands over your mouth as you sobbed. Desperately, Ace soothed his hands over your shoulders.

“Hey—hey, it’s alright. Everything is alright! You haven’t done anything wrong, baby.” Ace pulled you closer to him, ignoring how you tried to jerk away, “I’m sorry… I just hate to see you cry. I want to make you happy again—but I failed—I-I should… I should just leave.” Ace pulled away suddenly and started to turn around.

A cold, desperate hand grabbed his wrist and Ace smirked. You were too sweet for your own good.

“No! A-Ace, please don’t leave me too. I-I just feel so… so alone and cold. I-I don’t know how to make it stop!” You cried out.

Ace slowly turned around with a soft and understanding expression.

“I know, baby. I know.” Ace carefully stepped closer to you, like he was ready to pull away at any moment. “Trust your best friend to make it all better?” Ace leaned in close and whispered into your ear.

With a light sniffle, you nodded, wrapping your arms around his shoulders with a shiver. Thankfully Ace was here to make everything better again.

“J-Just don’t leave me.” You asked of him.

Like he ever intended to, to begin with.

“Never.” Ace swore, pressing slow kisses across your jaw, “Just… trust the process, baby. Trust me to make it better.” Ace reassured you.

“…Okay. I trust you.” You whispered, the words vibrating on his lips delightfully. Giddy, Ace started back where he left off. Your soft lips were just begging to be tasted properly. Gently, Ace titled your chin up and slipped his tongue back in again. Flicking playfully across your own. Slowly overwhelming you with his presence as your head lifted up for more with every pass. Soft pants slipping between your lips at his sufferance.

Ace kissed you deep, refusing to part from your lips until you were dizzy and gasping for air. Your eyes a slim ring of color around the pupils, lips puffy from his abuse. You were as responsive as he thought you’d be to his advances. Even with that… unfortunate distraction, it was clear you were meant to be his. Completely. And if he wanted to prove it, he’d need to get to work.

Softly, Ace caressed your skin, pushing back the blanket still curled around your body. Stroking up your arms and shoulders as he kept kissing you breathless. Slowly, like he had imagined hundreds of times before, Ace slipped his hands under your shirt. Grip firm as he made his wild fantasies a reality, one inch of your skin at a time. You jolted in surprise, a small noise of protest forming.

The sound muffled under his tongue as he moaned loudly, his vocal appreciation flustering you as he slipped even further under your clothes. Palming your breasts blindly, fingertips brushing over your nipples as a shy groan squeaked out. Ace pulled back, toying with the stiff peaks as a sly grin overtook his features.

“You’ve been so cold baby… are you feeling warmer yet?” Ace asked softly against your lips. Flustered, you nodded. A quick pinch forcing you to use your words.

“Y-Yes!” Pecking your cheek, Ace slowly pulled up your shirt and bra.

“See? We’re just getting started and I’m already making you feel better.” Ace cooed, encouraging you to lift up your arms so he could toss away the clothes. “Go ahead. Kiss me. Don’t be afraid.” Ace gently pulled your arms to his shoulders and returned to teasing your breasts.

Face noticeably warm, you were breathless as you leaned forward clumsily and pressed a damp kiss to his neck. Ace groaned in surprise, squeezing your breasts slightly as he struggled to control himself. His cock was straining in his pants and Ace was surprised he didn’t cum from that shy kiss alone. Fuck, he’d been wanting this for years now. And now?

He was so close he could taste it.

But he had to let you indulge first. Allow you to explore his body like he desperately wanted to explore yours. Carefully, Ace let one hand slide down over your stomach, teasing the waistband of your sweatpants as he pinched and pulled on one of your breasts. You moaned, mouth open as you kissed the underside of his chin. Humming eagerly, Ace slipped his hand in, enjoying the sharp gasp in surprise as your nails dug into his shoulders.

“A-Ace! W-W-Waa—hah-o-oh~!” Ace cut you off, his middle finger hooking in low to drag up your clit. The slight dampness wasn’t much, but it would do for now. Dipping his fingers deeper, Ace scooped up the growing liquid that pooled against your underwear and ruthlessly used it against you. Slipping between your folds in unpredictable patterns of fast and slow. Hard and gentle. Until you moaned, hips grinding down on his hand.

You were leaning on him almost entirely now, mouth agape as you panted, occasionally gathering enough of your wits to kiss his neck and chest. Leaning down to your ear, Ace whispered praises.

“You’re so beautiful for me.”

“That’s it. Make that pretty sound again, sweetheart.”

“Mmm… so wet.”

“Am I making you feel good?”

“I always keep my promises.”

“Focus on me. Who’s making you feel like this?”

“Go on. Cream for me. I want to feel you.”

You were crying. Good tears this time as Ace crooked three fingers into your wet pussy. Rocking you against his hand with his body, a mockery of how hard he wanted to fuck you. And you responded beautifully. Bashfully hiding your face even as your pitiful noises echoed in the kitchen. You were so small like this, curled up against him.

Ace wondered if he could convince you to a quickie in one of the school closets, the tight space would do wonders for seeing how creative he could get… but the prospect of anyone else hearing your moans killed the idea instantly. Only he would get to see you like this. Flushed and crying out for his hand. Unknowing how hard he was for you. Your heart beating against his palm as he continued groping your breasts with one hand.

“Ace!”

Suddenly, you keened, body freezing as your cunt squeezed his fingers hard. Trying to push him out. He chuckled softly, forcing them deeper into the soft, wet space. Fucking your cunt a little harder to pull out every last moan he could as you started to shake. As you came down from your high, Ace kissed you, stealing those precious sounds from your lips.

He wasn’t done quite yet.

“So beautiful. You did so well… but you could be even better.” Ace pulled his hand free and licked it clean. You tasted somewhat sweet and heady. The taste going straight to his cock as he moaned, much to your embarrassment. “Look at this mess, baby. How can I leave you so wet?” Ace reached down and tugged at your waistband meaningfully.

Your eyes widened as you started to realize what he was implying. You shook your head.

“I-Isn’t that… I-I think this is good enough.” Ace smiled down at you indulgently, hands dipping under your waistband but sliding to your ass instead.

“But I want to make you feel even better. Let me take care of you.” Ace licked his tongue up your neck to your ear, nipping the tip. “I want to put my face between your thighs… lick that cute little clit. Press my tongue between your lips. It must be so wet and messy down there. I want to drink it all up. Let me in, baby. Don’t you trust me?” Ace enticed you, voice a low moan as his hands dipped lower.

You lifted your hips with a moan of your own, allowing Ace to pull your sweatpants down. Leaving you bare on the counter.

Ace, no fool, wasted no time shoving his tongue into your mouth in gratitude. Hands now free to spread your thighs. After moaning, low and deep into the kiss, Ace pulled his head back. Immediately placing one of your breasts into his mouth. Mimicking the motions he was going to make shortly. Flicking your nipple with his tongue and pressing the muscle up and down the supply underside. The sounds you made in shock were divine. You gripped his hair desperately, crying out and panting. Reluctantly, he allowed your soft tit to fall free of his lips.

Slowly losing control, Ace made good on his promise immediately.

Sealing his lips over your exposed cunt and shoving his tongue into your body. Sliding against your walls, eager to taste every inch. Anything you said went right over his head in favor of the twitching heat that surrounded his tongue. Ace was more turned on than ever before at the flood of sweet cream as he fucked you. Occasionally, he nudged his nose up to press against your clit, never failing to inspire a sharp moan from you.

“A-Ah! Ah! H-Hah—ohohoh—A-Ace—ngh! Please! I-I nnnn-ne-HaHn~!” You stuttered and moaned brokenly. Ace’s cock leaking precum as he forced your knees further apart against the force of your twitching thighs.

You yanked his hair suddenly with a scream hard enough to remove him. Ace only had time to glimpse your swollen cunt dripping fresh cum before he snarled and dove back in. Hands moving to grip your ass, knees over his shoulder, as he lifted you up to pin you to his face a few inches above the counter.

You screamed, cunt throbbing hard as you gripped his head, curling over him. He almost choked on the amount of liquid flooding his face, but he noisily sucked it up. Punishing you for pulling away by nipping your clit and triggering a weak splash against his chin. Unable to pull free, you moaned and twitched as he ate to his hearts content. Cock now almost burning against his pants, aching to be deep in your pussy instead of his tongue.

Reluctantly, he set you back down, pulling away just enough to shove his pants down. Cock bobbing free. You jerked back and Ace tutted, gripping your chin to look at him.

“Am I not good enough for you, baby? Can you feel how hard I am? I’m fucking aching for relief, I’ve wanted you for so long…” Ace kissed you, rubbing his tongue still thick with the taste of your own cum around your mouth. Forcing you to taste what had driven him over the edge. “I worked so hard to make your cute little cunt cream for me. To warm you up again. I-I want to feel you around me, baby. Let me have this. Please.” Ace begged softly, grinding his heavy cock into the slick mess between your thighs.

Your eyes were teary as you looked away, still rattled by your orgasm.

Slowly, Ace pressed his hips forward, letting you feel how his cock spread your pussy open. You inhaled sharply and shook your head.

“T-Too much! T-This is too mu—Ah~!” Ace thrust in, hips slapping into your thighs. Ace moaned into your lips loudly.

“O-Oh, I-I’m so sorry baby. Here—oh fuck you’re so soft and tight around me I w-w-want to just ngh!—L-Let me pull out—” Ace slowly dragged his thick cock from the vice grip your cunt had around him. The sudden empty sensation made you dig your nails into his skin and he purposefully slammed back into place. A shrill moan slipped from your lips as he moaned into your open mouth. Ace didn’t need to play up how incredibly turned on he was, gently resting his head on your shoulder and pressing soft kisses onto your skin. “Fuck! Sorry—I-I’m sorry baby—you startled me! T-This time I-I’ll leave you.”

Ace pulled back as reluctantly as he could but his cock didn’t even make it half way before you panicked.

“No! A-Ace—Oh Ace I-I ca-can’t—Y-You pr-prom-promised--!” Ace snapped his hips into your body again.

“Y-You mean it, baby? I-I can fuck you?” Ace whispered in that sad, pathetic voice that always made you tear up.

“Y-Yes! Yes! Ye—AH—OH F-FUCK AHN—Ace I-I-I ooohhhh~hng—ah!” You agreed and Ace wasted no time drilling into you. Slamming his cock into your body fast. Driving all thoughts from the both of you besides how thick his dick was in your cunt and how fast you were already squeezing him.

Just like before, your body was too weak to force him out even as you came. His hips overpowering you to keep fucking you harder and harder. Ace eagerly let every filthy moan and perverse thought spill from him as he worked towards his goal.

“Yes! Y-Your finally mine!”

“I’m going to fuck you so much.”

“Squeeze my cock, baby. I’m so close.”

“I almost came on your tits, you were so fucking beautiful screaming for me.”

“Do it again. Scream for me.”

“Is my thick cock driving you mad? Good.”

“I’m going to cum right here.”

“Remember how good I make you feel.”

“Only for me, baby. That’s right. For me.” Ace felt the electricity shoot up his spine like a live wire as his balls tingled. Every thrust accompanied by a lewd, wet sound from how hard he was slamming into your wet cunt. Nail marks burned along his back as you screamed for him, pussy pulsing around him.

Finally, with a hard thrust, he came as deep into your cunt as he could. The world faded out as his thick cum shot out in hot spurts. He could only faintly hear you crying against his shoulder as his hips made aborted thrusts to fuck his cock deeper. Shakily, Ace rubbed your back, panting into your skin.

It was only after he felt his cock soften that he registered you were crying. Leaning back but not removing himself from the warmth of your dripping cunt, Ace looked at your face.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Ace cradled your face gently, pressing kisses to your cheeks. “Let me make it better.”

“I-I-I… How could I?” You whimpered, shaking your head, “I-I betrayed him!”

Ace frowned, pussy-drunk mind slow to process. When it did, he nearly snarled. Almost threw you to the ground to fuck those stupid thoughts from your sweet, impressionable head.

“No! Baby, no you didn’t!” Ace whispered, kissing your lips softly as he made gentle thrusts to hopefully distract you. “He’d want you to be happy. He cared about you so much… and you’ve been so upset. You’ve lost so much weight. You can barely sleep. You haven’t done anything wrong. Put those nasty thoughts out of your head.” Ace slowly started fucking you again.

You moaned, conflicted but still not thinking straight.

“I-I shouldn’t be… It’s so wrong. O-Oh~A-Ace!” You moaned as you felt his cock begin to harden inside you, “I-I’m taking advantage of you—you’re my best friend!”

Ace chuckled, kissing you into silence.

“If this is taking advantage of me, you’re welcome to keep doing it.” Ace groaned, “I’ve always loved you, baby… I just want to see you happy again. Please…”

Ace’s thrusts sped up, disrupting your sobs with moans as the mix of cum dripped down both your thighs. Ace leaned forward, forcing you back and reaching a new angle that had you weak instantly, head slamming into the cabinet. Forcefully fucking you harder against the counter, Ace smiled. Ace grabbed your thighs and lifted you up, walking over to the kitchen table.

Ace shoved you flat onto the table, lifting your hips up to directly fuck into your body. Your tears of misplaced guilt were quickly replaced by pleasure as Ace drilled into you.

He had wanted to play nice and gentle. Let you slowly forget about Law.

But it seems like he needed to take a more firm approach.

“…Trust me.”

Starting with your inability to sleep.

Fucking you hard until you passed out on his cock seemed like a wonderful start on the road to recovering from your useless ex. One day you’d forget his name entirely. Ace was going to make sure of it.

i am so sorry u had to deal with that anon, i hope you are feeling ok! :’) it sucks how shippers make their own reputation bad by not accepting another perspective/opinion :/ and to go to this extent over a fictional ship is just… something else😭 i’ll never understand how some can’t just enjoy their ship in peace and always have to prove it is canon and fight everyone else who doesn’t think like them, as if you can’t enjoy a ship otherwise?

anon just reminded me why i never took an interest in any levi ship, and i probably never will. i sooo wanted to say that i didn’t understand why anon suddenly started to hate on levi x oc shippers, but it’s obvious bc most oc’s are depicted as women and that is against their ‘canon’ ship and beliefs about levi😭 why care so much, levi can be whatever sexuality you want seeing as nothing was confirmed, so just take a step back, touch some grass and let people enjoy whatever they like :’)

anyways, once again im sorry u had to deal with all of that i can’t even imagine how tiring or frustrating it must be to always be attacked/asked about the same things constantly. i love your levi posts and i feel like you really analyze him very well! happy holidays :’)

Thank you so much, truly.

I've said again and again that I have nothing against any ship or shipping group. People can ship Levi with whoever they want. But these people who harass me over it, then accuse me of "talking" about it all the time, but the only reason I talk about it is because they're the ones asking me about it.

The thing is, is I just want to talk about what's in the actual story. Levi has no love interest in the story, either directly acknowledged or even implied. Everything this person sited as evidence or "proof" of Levi being romantically interested in Erwin, I addressed to the best of my abilities. They didn't want to accept it, and then they accuse me of being a hypocrite, trying to claim that all of my analysis posts are based on the same, speculative, inconclusive and flimsy material they base their beliefs on. As if breaking down text, expression, sequential order of panels, and patterns in the text and past character behavior is the same as taking an off-handed comment from Isayama in an interview from ten years ago or whatever and using it as proof of some super secret hidden romantic interest between Levi and Erwin. You can literally look at every post of mine analyzing AoT and find evidence supporting, pretty damn concretely, my conclusions in the actual text. And I'm hardly alone in that. There's many, many great AoT fans who write brilliant analysis posts about the manga/anime, using only the source material. But these people can never point to a single panel or word bubble or piece of text that supports this notion that Levi was in love with Erwin, or anyone, for that matter. They need to site promotional material to try and back up their claims, and extrapolate meaning from the panels and texts which isn't, in any discernible, concrete way actually supported by the text and panels. They literally need to twist Levi's words and actions in the most absurd, nonsensical, illogical manner in order to make it fit. That isn't how Isayama operates as a writer. Even when there's subtext, there's a clear, undeniable line between it and the action on the page. That's what analysis is based on, after all. There has to be a viable, evident reason for drawing certain conclusions.

Levi holding the serum against his chest, or touching Erwin's hand when he took the serum from him, or him thinking of Erwin when wondering who he could revive, none of that is enough proof in and of itself to support a romantic interest between them. I tried explaining to this person what those things actually indicate within the story. The last two don't mean anything. It's just how the panels were drawn. But the first, if this person had paid any kind of attention to Levi's actual relationship with Erwin, and how Levi regarded Erwin, and the reasons he was so loyal to Erwin, would understand that he thought of Erwin in that moment because he regarded Erwin as the leader that humanity needed, and that humanity's future was dependent on Erwin's survival. It's the entire reason Levi tried to stop Erwin from going to Shinganshina in the first place. I come to all of those conclusions based on the actual text and what we know about the characters leading up to that point.

I explained all of this to this fool in my initial reply to them, and they accused me of "brushing them off", lol.

Anyway, whatever. But thank you so much again for your support. I just can't seem to get away from these people, haha.

From Denial to Acceptance: Parenting After an Autism Diagnosis, http://selflessanatta.com/from-denial-to-acceptance-parenting-after-an-autism-diagnosis/

New Post has been published on http://selflessanatta.com/from-denial-to-acceptance-parenting-after-an-autism-diagnosis/

From Denial to Acceptance: Parenting After an Autism Diagnosis

Reduce the time from shock to acceptance and everyone benefits.

Each parent has a unique experience when they realize their child is different. For most people, it isn’t a time of rejoicing.

It usually starts with suspicions because the child’s behavior isn’t typical.

These suspicions lead to a period of consideration and denial, perhaps with doctor’s visits, or discussions with other parents.

The emphasis is on denial because an autism diagnosis is considered the end of the world, or at least the end of parental dreams.

The Moment We Knew He Was Autistic

We had been noticing our son was unusual since he was a baby. Most notably, we were dismayed by the lack of eye contact.

He refused to look at us.

No matter what we did, he wouldn’t hold our gaze.

We were new parents, but we knew that wasn’t right. We carried on, hoping it was a phase he would grow out of.

One day, my wife came across a magazine article that listed the signs of autism. My son checked every box.

My wife immediately knew.

She showed the article to me, and I immediately knew.

We didn’t take it to be good news.

R.E.M. gets it.

My wife and I didn’t spend much time in denial about his condition, only because his condition was simply undeniable.

When didn’t get a formal diagnosis for almost a year, by which time, it was just a formality. We already knew.

Diagnosis Shopping

Many parents get second, third, or more opinions because they hold out hope some doctor will confirm their denial story.

We know of one family that received three diagnoses of autism. The fourth doctor saw the pattern and gave them a diagnosis of Ausperger’s Syndrome with Autism-like Tendencies, whatever that means.

This placated them because, in their minds, it meant their child wasn’t autistic.

The lengths to which people go to sustain denial amazes me.

The Incipient Error

We didn’t know it at the time, but in that moment of acceptance of his condition, we made a huge mistake that took us about 15 years to correct.

We thought this was terrible news.

It was not.

It certainly wasn’t what we wanted. No parent wants to discover their child has limitations, serious limitations on his ability to contribute to the world or even care for himself.

We had no shortage of friends and family willing to confirm our worst fears that our life was over and we needed to eat a turd.

We found support groups that further reinforced that we had endured this awful tragedy, and someday if we were lucky, we would develop a taste for turds and choke them down as a badge of honor.

I couldn’t get myself to do that. I figured there must be another way.

This mistaken interpretation of our circumstances was an incipient error.

If I had known then what I know now, 15 years of heartache for my family could have been avoided entirely.

If you want to really explore the power of incipient ideas, I suggest you watch the movie Inception. It’s incredible, and it makes the point I’m pointing to here better than I ever could.

See: The Unbridled Joy of Special Needs Parenting

This is the guide I wish I had found 20+ years ago when I discovered I was destined to be the parent of a Special Needs child. My son has been diagnosed with moderate to severe autism.

When some special needs parents read the post above, they react angrily. They protest indignantly that their experience is different, and that I don’t understand their challenges.

Of course, that is true. I don’t know their experience. I only know mine, and it wasn’t an easy journey.

You choose how you feel about your special needs child

But I do know that they have control over the interpretation of their experience, and if they choose to apply a strongly negative interpretation, then they will endure the inevitable suffering.

It’s simply not the choice I make, and neither does my wife. And no, we are not in denial. There is no awful interpretation of reality we must embrace.

I’ve seen it argued that parents should process all of their emotions honestly as if a positive interpretation were dishonest or even harmful. Total nonsense.

Some believe it’s dangerous to minimize the grief for our lost dreams. Was there some value in the attachment to a parental fantasy? What’s the danger here?

Should we also cling to our worries about the future? Is there value in that?

See: A Special Needs Parent’s Final Bequest

A positive interpretation of your child’s condition is essential for your emotional health and for your child’s.

Grief should be minimized, as should attachments of all kinds. Denying reality serves no one.

Welcome to Holland

Like most special needs parents, I was sent the writing Welcome to Holland. It’s beautiful writing that helps put things in proper perspective.

It provides an interpretation that isn’t negative, which is a plus.

It’s been criticized: The trouble with “Welcome to Holland”

In different ways: Why I hate “Welcome to Holland”

For different reasons: What “Welcome to Holland” Gets Wrong

Many times: Autism Is Nothing Like Going to Holland

But its basic message has stood the test of time and unending criticism. Just because you didn’t get the parenting experience you dreamed of, doesn’t mean your experience can’t be beautiful in its own way.

Discover the beauty, and the problems become less challenging, joyful even.

See: The Many Reasons I Love My Autistic Son

~~wink~~

Anatta

Web Design Psychology: How Colors and Layouts Impact User Behavior

Have you ever wondered why some websites are more visually appealing than others? It turns out that there is a science behind web design and how colors and layouts can influence user behavior. Web design isn’t just about aesthetics; it’s about understanding human behavior. Every element, from color to layout, can deeply influence how users interact with a webpage. In this blog post, we will explore how web design psychology plays an important role in web design, and how certain colors and layouts can be used to maximize engagement and conversions. By the end of this post, you'll have a better understanding of how web design psychology impacts user behavior. So, let's get started!

The Power of Colors

a. The Emotional Spectrum of Colors

Red: A color that has long been associated with energy, danger, and excitement. The hue is stimulating, passionate, and immediate. This is precisely why businesses leverage red in advertising and promotions. A 'Sale' sign in red not only captures the attention but also evokes a sense of urgency, prompting quick action from the customer.

Blue: A color of the sky and the sea, blue is serene and universally loved. It resonates with feelings of trustworthiness, stability, and calmness. Think about the number of businesses, especially tech giants like Facebook and LinkedIn, that use blue in their logos and interfaces. The color instills a sense of security, making users more open and receptive to the platform's offerings.

Green: A refreshing color that takes us back to nature, green stands for growth, fertility, and harmony. Its versatility is evident in its application. Health and wellness websites often lean into shades of green to promote well-being and restoration. Similarly, eco-friendly brands and initiatives use green to connect their mission with the environment and underline their commitment to sustainability.

Yellow: Bursting with cheerfulness and youthful energy, yellow is undeniably optimistic. Its brightness can uplift and invigorate. However, it's also a color that demands discretion in its application. Overusing yellow can be overpowering, potentially straining the eyes. This is why designers use it strategically, often to spotlight or accentuate specific content, ensuring it draws attention without overwhelming. Do you want to Hire Best Web Design Company in US then, Megatask Web is the Best Choice.

b. Color Contrast and Call to Action (CTA)

In the realm of web design, CTAs serve as the focal point, guiding users towards taking a desired action. To make these CTAs stand out and be effective, contrasting colors are employed. Consider a website with a primary blue palette. Introducing a CTA button in vibrant orange not only makes it stand out visually but also taps into the user's psychology. The stark contrast naturally draws the eyes, nudging users to notice, and more importantly, to click. The interplay of complementary colors doesn’t just make the design aesthetically pleasing but serves a functional purpose, steering user behavior in the intended direction.

The power of layout

Web design is an intricate dance of creativity and structure, with layout acting as its backbone. The layout determines the hierarchy of information and directs user focus. Essentially, it channels the users' cognitive processes and navigation habits in a manner that best serves both the site's purpose and the users' needs. Click Here for Web Design and Development Company in US

a. The F-Pattern Layout

Eye-tracking studies have illuminated a user's natural approach to scanning web content, which often resembles an "F" pattern. Beginning at the top left—due to many languages being read from left to right—users move horizontally across the main header. They then drop down slightly and repeat the horizontal scan, though not as extensively as the first. Finally, their eyes trickle down the left side, catching headlines or standout elements. By understanding and leveraging the F-pattern, web designers can strategically place the most crucial content where users naturally gravitate, optimizing user engagement and interaction.

b. Grid Systems and Symmetry

Beyond just creating aesthetic appeal, grid systems impart a sense of order and predictability. This organized layout divides content into digestible sections, columns, and modules, ensuring a structured visual flow that's easily comprehensible. Users find information faster, leading to an enhanced experience and deeper content exploration.

Symmetry, a familiar concept in art and nature, instills a sense of balance in web design. When elements on a page mirror one another—be it through size, positioning, or visual weight—it induces a harmonious feeling. This implicit balance not only pleases the eye but also provides a psychological comfort to the user, subtly communicating that everything is in its rightful place. Visit Megatask Web for Your Web Design and Development Service Needs

c. Whitespace: The Unsung Hero

Often underestimated, whitespace is a quintessential aspect of web design that doesn't shout for attention but quietly enhances user experience. Contrary to its name, whitespace isn't necessarily "white"; it refers to the unmarked space between different design elements. This 'breathing room' plays multiple roles. Firstly, it declutters the interface, preventing cognitive overload and aiding in content prioritization. Moreover, by isolating and emphasizing particular components—like a call-to-action button or a highlighted testimonial—it directs user focus effectively. In an age of information bombardment, the judicious use of whitespace is pivotal in offering a user-friendly, easily navigable, and focused web experience.

Real-world Examples of Color and Layout Impact

The interplay of colors and layouts in web design is nowhere more evident than in some of the world's leading digital platforms. These companies have not only incorporated user-friendly interfaces but have also strategically employed psychology in design to enhance user experience and engagement. Here are more examples:

a. Spotify: This globally recognized music streaming giant opts for a dark theme, complemented by bright accent colors. The advantage of such a choice goes beyond aesthetics. The dark background is known to significantly reduce eye strain, making it ideal for users in dimly lit rooms or during nighttime browsing. On the other hand, the contrasting bright colors, particularly greens and pinks, are strategically placed to highlight important interactive elements like play buttons, enhancing user interaction and prompting the desired actions.

b. Apple: Apple's design philosophy extends beyond its products. Their website is a testament to their belief in minimalist design. With a predominant use of grayscale and the occasional splash of color, Apple focuses users' attention exactly where they want it - on their products. Ample whitespace is used not just as a design element, but to create a sense of luxury, superiority, and emphasis on the sophistication of Apple products. Here You Go for Professional Web Design Company in US

c. Duolingo: For an app that's all about progress, growth, and learning, Duolingo's predominant use of green is on point. Green, in psychology, is associated with growth, motivation, and progress. By employing this color, Duolingo subtly reinforces its mission and keeps users motivated in their language learning journey.

d. Dropbox: Dropbox, the cloud storage solution, uses a simple layout with playful illustrations and a clean blue and white palette. The blue tones instill a sense of trust, reliability, and professionalism – crucial for a platform where users store personal and professional data.

e. Airbnb: This travel-focused platform emphasizes large, immersive photographs of travel destinations and accommodations. With a simple and intuitive layout, Airbnb ensures the visuals tell the story. Their use of red for CTAs is both attention-grabbing and action-inducing, motivating users to book their next adventure.

4. Key Takeaways

Web design psychology plays a critical role in user engagement. While a site must be aesthetically pleasing, understanding the emotional and psychological triggers of design elements can make a significant difference.

Colors: Use them to evoke emotions, guide decisions, and highlight important content.

Layouts: Ensure content is organized in a way that is intuitive to the human eye and mind.

Research & A/B Testing: Always keep your target audience in mind, research their preferences, and conduct A/B tests to see which designs resonate the most.

In a world where attention spans are shortening, optimizing web design for user behavior is no longer an option; it's a necessity. By blending aesthetics with psychology, designers can craft experiences that aren't just visually appealing but are also deeply engaging.

Comprehensive Writing Skills – Is It A Must-Know For Students Today?

Are you looking forward to raising your child into perfectly groomed adults, creative, independent, and future-forward? Enrolling the little one in the right school is pivotal. It goes without saying that a well-designed curriculum plays a big role in preparing a scholar. However, what works even better is academics paired with extra-curricular and specialized mentoring. Ticking all these boxes is Alpine Convent School, a top international school in Gurugram, rewarding students with an all-encompassing curriculum and a holistic experience.

Personalized mentoring, a well-curated academic module, athlete tracks, a skating rink, a tennis court, and ample other amenities, Alpine Convent stands out as a top school in Gurgaon for all the right reasons. In addition to academics, communication skills are quite crucial to flourish in the world today. Did you picture speaking as the only significant communication skill? While the ability to kick off conversations is primary, brushing one’s writing skills is just as important. Education too casts a strong emphasis on writing.

Think about it – scholars are flooded with assignments, essays, projects, and more. Not knowing how to frame a perfect sentence adds to the trouble and anxiousness among students. Alpine Convent, undeniably the best CBSE school in Gurgaon, offers dedicated tutoring to students, refining their writing skills, intellectual abilities, behavioral aspects, and more. Saving students from their biggest pitfalls, mentors at Alpine leave no stones unturned to school the kids about the basics of comprehensive writing.

What comprehensive writing skills are all about?

Mastering the basics of comprehensive writing is not restricted to a literary genius only. Whether you aspire to become a swanky designer, a doctor, an accountant, or an influencer, writing is needed everywhere and in every profession.

Wondering if comprehensive writing is any different from the basic writing rules? Absolutely not! Comprehensive writing is a broad term that highlights features like grammar, spelling, punctuation, framing of a decent sentence, paragraph etiquette, etc. Formulating an appropriate and detailed sentence is a basic comprehensive writing skill. In short, comprehensive writing encapsulates factors like:

Recognizing the right use of grammar

Identifying the need to add punctuation in the right place

Apt structuring of sentences

Analyze a relevant point of view and tense

The right usage of capitalization.

Alpine Convent, a known international school in Gurugram, educates students about the ins and outs of comprehensive writing, right from an early age. Specialized tutoring trains all scholars well enough, seasoning the students to become skilled communicators in the long run.

Handy tips to spruce up a student’s comprehensive writing skills

Are you willing to go an extra length to fine-tune your writing skills? Let’s share some tips to help you make a profound effort.

Reading is a brilliant habit

The best Convent school in Gurgaon or Alpine highlights the benefits of practicing reading every day. Little did you know that scrolling through a string of words and sentences helps you develop an eye for an effective writing pattern.

Keep a close watch on the key traits of comprehensive writing

Nothing works better than monitoring your own style of writing. Always keep tabs on the grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. Proofreading your scribed lines over and over again helps you identify the errors and improve your writing.

Practice writing every day

Do not underrate the age-old saying ‘Practice leads to perfection.’ The more you write, the better you get at it.

Keep it simple

A simple sentence is easy to read, engaging, and makes the narrative clear. Avoid overly stuffing your sentences with pointless fillers and complex words.

Analyze a writing style you admire

If a certain style of writing draws your attention, go ahead and invest a good number of hours reading between the lines. The more you read, the better you get at embracing the style and flair.

Think before your pen down

Dig in and study ahead when writing essays or reports on a specific subject. Having clarity of thought supports you in creating an outline for the piece you are about to write.

Follow the above-mentioned tips to get the hang of comprehensive writing. Don’t shy away from comparing your present assignments with your previous pieces of work. It will step up your confidence, going forward.

Alpine Convent, a top schools in Gurgaon, realizes that communication skills are a need of the hour. Students who are great talkers might not excel at putting their thoughts and ideas into words and vice versa. At Alpine, teachers mentor scholars to develop a flair for both speaking and writing. Why just rattle on when you could pen your ideas without any challenge?

https://www.alpineconventschool.com/comprehensive-writing-skills-is-it-a-must-know-for-students-today/

Can you point me toward some tips for how to, like... portray a character that's undeniably a terrible person, but their logic still makes sense? But not in a sympathetic "oh they kinda have a point" way. I ask because there's a character like that in a D&D game I'll be running in the future (she's an NPC, think "wicked stepmother" vibes) and I need to be prepared for the possibility that the players will confront her and question why she does what she does. Her reasons for hating the target of her abuse are rather petty and unjustified, but obviously she's not going to think so (or at least admit it). I don't want her to have nothing to say for herself if she's directly called out. But I also don't want whatever she says to sound totally flimsy and easy to disprove, because then she'll just look like a complete fool when she's really not supposed to be.

How to Write an Abuser Being Called Out

(content warning: emotional abuse, abuser tactics, manipulation)

Unfortunately, this will require that you get into the mindset of an abuser. If you want one to sound convincing, you have think like one.

When put on the spot, an abuser with even the slightest inkling that they’ve done wrong will do some or all of the following things:

Immediately go on the defense, find a moral high ground, garner pity, and make themselves the victim; “You could never understand what I go through. I have sacrificed so much. I do the best a past victim like myself can.”

Deflect by replying to every question with another question, rapidly changing subjects, and make it about the accuser; “Do you really think I would harm my children? What kind of person thinks like that? You once hurt someone badly, have they forgiven you? Have you ever considered how much that hurt them?”

Slander, blame, and insinuate that the victim deserved it. Get the accuser to agree to any of their points, and then double down on them; “They’ve done horrible things to me, by the way. You may not know this, but A has some bad habits. In fact, you once saw them exhibit bad behavior, remember? So you know what I’m talking about. You would have reacted the same way.”

Never blatantly admit fault. Ever. If they do they defend themselves by blaming the victim, or they quickly take it back and turn the accusation on the accuser (or both in the same breath!); “I only did it because of what they did to me, and I can’t believe you would spread lies about me, I've never done those things."

If at any point the abuser feels they are losing the argument, they may choose to back off while making it seem like their accuser is the toxic one; “I can see you won’t hear reason. I thought you wanted to discuss this problem of yours, but if you just want to argue and make me angry then I'm done talking to you.”

These can happen in any order repetitively until the abuser has spun the accuser in circles. If they feel themselves failing at one of these tactics, they will switch to another instantly. If their opponent exhibits emotional reaction to their manipulation, the abuser will make them seem like the crazy, unreliable one. Whoever argues with an abuser, especially in the case of emotional abuse, will come out feeling like they lost and are stupid.

If you would prefer not to harangue and demoralize your players—or you know someone in your party would get too into it—play it safe and stick to this simpler pattern of behavior for your character.

Deflect the accusation

Blame the victim

Make self the victim

Attack the accuser

Leave with the last word

Oh, and there will be no logical explanation offered for their behavior because there isn't one. They are petty, their reasons are unjustified, and knowing this they will do anything to hide those facts. If they feel ashamed of anything they will force that shame onto someone else.

Now, I’ve just shared a mishmash of behaviors I’ve experienced up close from a male with NPD. Female abusers will also exhibit these behaviors, but may vary in their execution (e.g. passive-aggression, performative emotional outbursts, double-edged comments, etc.). You might consider carefully researching more about narcissists and abusive behavior in general, if not for the campaign then at least for yourself. Emphasis on carefully as this field of research is rife with misinformation spread by abusers. On that note, I would rather stick with my own experience than recommend anyone at this time.

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Sorry, I tried to keep this concise and ended up with a dissertation draft. I just have so many thoughts on what Asmo’s character is and what it could be.

- Lust as a sin isn’t inherently carnal. It’s more along the veins of greed. While greed tends to be a selfish desire (that can often harm others in the process), lust is an intense desire. Lust works as a deep craving for something, it isn’t limited to s**, it can be power, fame, and even knowledge. It’s desire to an unhealthy degree, the harm often falling on oneself in the pursuit of that craving.

Do I think Asmo’s definition of beauty is just a strong mix of what is seen as undeniably desirable across the Devildom, and the latest trends to stay relevant/well liked among the largest group of people possible?

…

Yesn’t.

-From what I’ve seen, Asmo’s lust, lies in attention. He does everything in his power to be desirable. I meant what I said by him wanting to attract the “largest group possible”. Aesthetic wise is easy enough, find the patterns in beauty and stick to them; Asmo’s even admitted to getting cosmetic surgery before to make himself more appealing. (It was a nose job, I’ll come back to add the card/lesson when I find it again.) But he’s molded his personality as well. Happy, bubbly, social, charismatic- and that’s without his eye hypnosis. People are drawn to those personality traits, wanting to surround themselves with joy and pretty things. On the note of his innuendos and heavily suggestive speech- he wasn’t like that when we first met him. At best he was flirty with Mc when they showed interest in his sin, but other than that he was just like a really preppy friend until Mc started spending more time with him/post pact. If he was grossly pushy/flirty to everyone he met all the time, he wouldn’t have as big of a following because that behavior from strangers, no matter how gorgeous they are, is creepy.

Being a lord earns him high favor from other elites, being an active presence on social media on top of the latest trends expands his reach past the social circles of RAD, elites, and even his party circles- allowing for people that may otherwise never interact with him to feel special and included- keeping the likes, follows, and shares coming in abundance, no matter what Asmo does.

1/2

FUCKIN' THANK YOU, this is exactly what I needed! A nice explanation of a different point of view. Most, if not all, of this checks out for me. I like this perspective and it definitely helps me see him in a better light.

I guess I still feel like at any moment the game is gonna pull an "actually MC is your typical pale skinned, long straight haired, dainty girl in a skirt" and it never feels closer to that as when someone mentions MC's appearance, which Asmo does a lot of. He skirts so closely to actually mentioning a specific appearance, my guard just stays up, going "oh boy, here it comes". Yet, it hasn't happened so far, at least that I've seen. He mentions a couple things during a sleepover at the castle at some point but, I distinctly remember them being things like, the shape of MC's nails, or the size of their ears. So yeah, I should work on lowering my guard about that so I can enjoy him more, because I definitely see a lot to love about him and it pains me that I struggle with it. He's such a loveable guy!

When Gon’s anger becomes a protective mechanism for Killua

IMPORTANT: The text is long, plus, I do not support Gon hate. He’s a human being and a kid, so don’t worry, none of my analysis will put him as a monster.

You know the theory that one of the reasons Gon shuts Killua out from Pitou’s fight, besides proving himself and erasing his guilt, is also to keep Killua safe? I didn’t understand at first, but I kinda agree with that now.

Remember the “YES I AM AN IDIOT” iconic scene, Greed Island arc?

Let’s talk about that and link it all.

They’ve spent half of the chapter 158 arguing because Gon kept insisting on meeting this “Chrollo Lucilfer” person inside the game, while Killua was trying to be logical, saying that this person wouldn’t clarify their reasons only by asking them. Killua eventually gives in, and after Gon uses the card, they travel to met not Chrollo, but Hisoka, who asks if they went all that way just to ask him a question (implying how dumb it was).

Gon says that’s pretty much their reason and Killua kept teasing Gon on his dumb choice.

But after some ping-pong teasing between them, the reason Gon was being stubborn is, actually, a concern that lights up on his mind with memories of his journey to rescue Killua from Kukuroo Mountain. Even blushing, Gon says that he was reminded of Gotoh’s words and was worried that both of them were being deceived.

Gotoh’s words were, exactly:

Be careful. And protect Killua.

This also adds to the character analysis - one that is very on point - that Gon being outgoing doesn’t mean he puts depth to analyzing his feelings. He speaks his mind, the problem is not to talk per se - but to put effort into understand his intentions behind those actions. He could say he was worried about them, but he doesn’t, because he speaks first and doesn’t think through what he feels. He’s yes outgoing, but impulsive, and very immersive into acting first, think later - or even thinking only when questioned, because it didn’t even crossed his mind. That’s why we see him talking but yet... it’s hard to know what is happening inside him aside from Killua’s common inner monologues. But maybe protecting Killua it’s so natural that he doesn’t even bother to explain. To think that he keeps Gotoh’s words and even mentions it after all this time, such a nice and gentle touch of how much he respects his bond with Killua. 

Now, let’s get back to the CAA events. Specifically chapter 222.

A very shocked and distressed Gon was learning through Kite's attacks, but not to defend himself or parry. His painful attempts were all leading to dodge the punches and faints, so he could give puppet Kite a hug, and an apology.

Yes, he said terrible things to Killua - and of course wanting to protect him wasn’t the only reason. But he knew from the moment they first met Pitou, that they were dangerous. He wanted to deal with that alone, because it was “his mess”, so he shouldn’t endanger his most beloved one. 

We know that this is a turning point for Gon’s development in this arc, because it is the moment where his resolve becomes tainted with all the guilt he is facing. It’s when he starts to lose himself, and Killua knows that, probably, nothing he says or do will convince Gon otherwise.

But what contrasts with the well-known harsh words towards his best friend, is that he never meant to exclude Killua from the whole situation. That's why he says "OUR fault".

Then, right after, he addresses Killua directly. Visibly starting to lose himself, he takes the responsibility to prove he's strong to fix it, but I think that due to his communication pattern, he might also mean that he’s want to fix it without endangering who he wanted to fight by his side under normal circumstances.

It’s an act that can hold both guilt and protection. He addresses only that one person in the room because he needs Killua to know that this isn't a normal situation, and that's why he can't bring him to this fight. It isn’t normal because someone dear to him got hurt really bad. It isn’t normal because his best friend, someone who would not think before putting his life at risk for Gon, shouldn’t endanger himself to the point he could face the same destiny, specially because this is Gon’s way to show he cares. Again, Gon just speaks his mind without much thought, with his intentions between the lines. His effort to put his feelings into words mixed with the suffering he is handling are, on his mind, overwhelming enough - but still he cared to speak directly to Killua. Could this be, again, another demonstration of not-so-well-thought feelings spoken with the first words that come to his mouth?

Wouldn’t make sense, after all of those demonstrations of Gon’s behavior when someone is endangered and he desperately wants to take control of the situation because he thinks this is the best way to protect them and to be useful, and with that, deserving of their company? 

As Gon's communication is both simple (in words) and complex (behind the words), since he doesn't think through his feelings and he’s a stubborn child, it makes hard for others to catch his intentions, specially if they're already struggling to understand that they are not a burden. Because Killua’s mindset on making friends also includes the need to feel useful, just like Gon’s, but expressed through different means - and by being casted away fro Gon’s decision and later saving the boy in order to push him forward once again to his goal (alone this time), Killua thinks Gon has cut ties with him. as he couldn’t play a helpful role within Gon’s life anymore. So, this is how he reaches the rejective conclusion.

But the connection that I'm trying to make is that even thought Gon’s words were awful as the boy himself recognized, I truly believe Gon still wouldn't want Killua to fight even if he knew how his friend felt.  But not because he rejected Killua or meant to cut ties with his “no longer useful” best friend.

Because Gon has stated already: Killua doesn’t have to earn his friendship.

Those harsh words during the Palace Invasion were an attempt to regain control of the situation, prove his worth in the middle of a mental chaos that he wasn’t ready to face. But still, what if he kept reminding himself that he must protect his best friend in the entire world and just couldn’t find a better way to say it? Because he knows Killua is capable of self-sacrificing, Gon tried to stop him before, and Pitou is terribly strong. If it’s hard for him to translate his feelings when he is calm and collected, the extreme condition he found himself dragged in would’ve just made this communication face more obstacles. Fighting his own pain - another thing he couldn’t translate for the sake of his own mental health - led to the words to come out like they were: heartbreaking.

So, I’m not saying that it was solely to protect Killua, but I think that makes sense for Gon’s character. And again, I don’t think he would agree that Killua would fight what he thinks it’s his battle alone. But, with his mind cleared and the right questions, he would've given Killua an answer. He would say that this is not about taking Killua out of the special place Gon has put him, but about Gon taking the the responsibility based on what he thinks it’s best for everyone. His feelings, either protective or hurtful, are only explained when he’s asked, because action speaks volume for him and he needs this trigger question to make him translate his intentions.

Just like in the Hunter Exam, he only tells Kurapika about how he felt with Hisoka because he questioned. 

And in the Yorknew Arc, Gon didn’t let Killua hurt himself and was really trying to understand how the other boy felt. Gon doesn't communicate well but not because he rejects his feelings, and still, he cares about others’ feelings too. He was just literally out of his mind. So yeah, I think he cared for Killua safety, and if after all this time he made a connection between his stubborn acts and Gotoh’s words, it’s because - on his mind - these words and thoughts never leave his head. He’s constantly worrying about Killua, in his own way. But he couldn't explain something that he didn't put a second thought even for himself to understand. And it's not the first time, he acts very similar in these mentioned situations.

What all these stubborn oriented situations that I’ve mentioned, except for the one regarding Hisoka, have in common? He wanted to protect Killua.

He was undeniably wrong in saying those words to Killua, but it’s something acknowledged by himself already. He IS, by his nature, a protective kid, and under normal circumstances, Killua would be allowed to fight by his side because it has to be him. If it’s not going to be him, it won’t be anyone else. He can’t risk to lose him for something that he feels overly responsible. His words were rooted in pain, but the moment he addresses Killua that he would fight alone - a moment recollected by the latter in the hospital scene - shows respect for the one he has just lost, Kite, and the one he doesn’t want to lose. 

Killua is the one who never left him, never discredited him and is irreplaceable. Killua is the first thing that comes up to his mind when thinking about meeting Ging. Who would have thought that Gon’s mind would reach so far into memories and hold so deeply someone’s words like Gotoh’s?

He was selfish. But it’s a childish selfishness, built on such empty expectations about himself that he ends up forcing on others what he believes that is the right thing to do, in order to keep others safe, no matter how bad he hurts his body... because when it comes to protect those he care, he loses respect on his self-care due to this low self-esteem of his. So, he didn’t ask Killua to “please, let me fight alone”, because he’s decided to not drag Killua into a fight he knows he might lose, and then Killua couldn’t be protected.

And makes sense, again, that Killua couldn’t read between these lines, because he also blames himself for everything that happened, and thinks his feelings and desires would only keep in Gon’s way - that’s why those words hit him so deeply, but the thing that hurts him the most was the sole fact that Gon fought alone. He can’t help but compare to the dodgeball, and like Gon, Killua has his own unhealthy patterns: since he only knows love through pain, when he’s prevented from getting hurt against his will, he fails to understand it as an act of love.

The bond they’ve established while playing Greed Island was expressed through dozens of symbolisms already well discussed among the fandom (Killua’s badge, the rainbow diamond, the famous line during the dodgeball game). And I don’t doubt that their encounter with Pitou held traces of the same protective pattern, but messed up by Gon’s internal struggle.

For the times Gon showed concern before, we can mention more expressive moments like the whole Zoldyck arc, when they were escaping from the Troupe, when Tzeseguerra said he’d endangered Killua or even when Killua got caught by some spell, etc, or we can even analyze his body language. Like here:

Before the date, Gon is indirectly protecting Killua in here, through his body language (Killua entered the room first, but Gon puts himself between them):

And after the date, while being punished for hurting her feelings, Gon screams at Palm when she tried to stab Killua, probably implying that he was observing and only interveins when she tries to hurt anyone other than himself - because he is, again, being stubborn and taking all the blame and control in order to redeem his actions and prove his capacity to fix things. I think it’s possible that Gon talked to her about Killua off curtains, or at least made an agreement about not involving Killua in her madness, but it it’s open to interpretation.

So, yeah, I can’t help but link everything to his pattern. He responds to the fear of losing those he loves with the same impactful devotion that is given to him, but it is so impactful that fails vocabulary and second thoughts. He knows Killua will be the first to risk his life if something happens or to prevent Gon from getting hurt during his tasks. Killua tends to sacrifice a lot and never complains while doing it, so I think it’s pretty much plausible that even when he can’t express himself at all, he’s worrying about Killua in the corner of his mind. Sometimes, just before our eyes.

Anyways, I love re-reading Greed Island arc and linking to their development through CAA because pretty much anything they do, they’re doing together, and they were bonding so beautifully. Their relationship was never so well-detailed before, but mostly for us, when they didn’t get much time to put in the balance how rushed their training was, and how fast they got attached to the point they can’t even stop thinking about each other while distant.

They look at each other like this:

They inspire this kind of reaction from others:

And there’s this one... nothing big, I just love it hahahaha

They’re in love each others’ top priority. It’s not impossible that Gon took Killua’s safety into matter, but his mind and words failed him, as he himself acknowledges that the only explanation to say those things to Killua is that “he doesn’t know what he was thinking”. Because, under normal circumstances, just like about letting Killua fight by his side, he would NEVER hurt Killua’s feelings. He IS protective. He didn’t have to rescue Killua from his own home - since Killua left for himself - but he still does it, instead of sticking to his main journey. And did not budge until Killua was safe by his side.

It’s a badly worded protection, because he doesn’t even know self-protection and puts action before everything. To figure a better way out of this pattern, he will now have plenty of time to find new ways to protect Killua and himself from the flaws of their dynamic. Their emotional attachment didn’t grow as fast as their fighting skills, but it doesn’t mean Gon is a monster, was malicious towards Killua or wanted to break his heart. I don’t even think he would reject Killua, but would explain the reason behind his decision in a reassuring way.

And finally, it’s so symbolic how Gotoh died and got replaced by a Kiriko - the same creature that translates Gon’s perceptiveness and how the boys are close. This way, they are still linked by Gotoh’s words through someone that mimics Gotoh’s appearance and also understands their relationship like the long gone butler. His words will never die.

And not to mention... how shoujo and romantic it is that Gon remembers the promise he made to Gotoh before he takes Killua with him? It is almost like a marriage proposal. That he didn’t forget, not even after all this time. 

Do I think he would’ve change his mind on letting Killua fight? Not at all, and Killua couldn’t change his mind even if he begged, at least not without some patient mental work. This is Gon’s mindset on protecting someone. But like that time in Greed Island, under normal circumstances, Gon would’ve ease Killua’s worries directly or indirectly after some talking. And of course, it is not his job to guess Killua’s feelings, communication must be a two-way path. Killua waited for too long, and at that point, Gon was too lost in his grief and wasn’t able to measure his words. But I truly believe that, deep inside his mind, those words and that promise were still there, waiting to resonate if necessary.

And as @gallyl​ added so perfectly: Killua is alive and well, grieving on the hospital’s bench, trying to get a grip of everything he just experienced. Decided to give Gon a second chance, he’s now able to understand this message of love Gon has left for him: there’s so much he can do in life, that Gon simply doesn’t want him to die because Killua’s whole life was surrounded by death - and Killua’s greatest wish was to live like a normal kid. And this speaks louder to Gon than having Killua to himself in death. A love that is not selfish, and does not envy. Killua’s life is validated, and in return, he saves Gon and his sister, the ones he loves the most, and validate back their right to exist, to grow, to try again. Unconditional love. At first, he’s hurt and demands an apology. But it’s Alluka who reminds him of how love must be free to give and to receive - he should let his heart open for whenever Gon is ready to reach him again.

But now, the apology will matter. 

And this is absurdly romantic. Not every sacrifice ends up in dying together to prove a relationship. They’ve made promises similar to marital vows, and not everything happened like they wanted, but they made clear to us that they’re not done with each other - as they refuse to say goodbye, and keep grammatical constructions like “for a while”, indicating a break, an interlude. 

Their song is still playing, and their promises still exist as their split was never mentioned as something definitive, because preventing the other one to get physically hurt on your behalf and taking some time to think before you take the risk to accidentally emotionally hurt them too are both ways to show protection. Ways that they’re learning now, two boys who think they should get hurt to love and be loved. 

"A lesson without pain is meaningless. For you cannot gain anything without sacrificing something else in return, but once you have overcome it and made it your own...you will gain an irreplaceable fullmetal heart." - Edward Elric

In honor of disability month and the FMA 20 year anniversary I wanted to address some Thoughts™️ about the series.

It's not often you see a disabled protagonist in media where their disability is integral to the story without taking up their entire character, even more so with anime. Yet, Fullmetal Alchemist has not just one disabled Protagonist, but two. The Elric Brothers are an exemplary representation of disability in media that I find myself reflecting on often as a disabled person myself. If you haven't completed the manga or Brotherhood, skip this as it will be brimming with spoilers.

(Mangahood will be my point of reference because while 03 is good on its own merits it's not as fresh within my immediate memory, and I am far less familiar with it. Keep this in mind, I've watched FMAB 10 and a half times whereas I've finished 03 only once years ago.)

The story highlights their disabilities immediately, Edward being a double amputee and Alphonse being without his ENTIRE body, only having the senses of proprioception, sight, and hearing left. Yet, despite this being key to the story and an integral part of their characterization, it is only one facet of their motivations and doesn't take center in the narrative, which is refreshing. It's not inherently negative to make a narrative centered on the characters' disabilities, but often this model of a story goes very wrong very fast and starts to feel hollow (no pun intended). FMA avoids this by making their disabilities a clear part of the plot and their motivations without allowing it to consume the entire story, so the Elric Brothers don't suffer the "my disability is all of my character" problem that many disabled characters are relegated to in a vast portion of media, all while being strong and competent.

Recap:

The brothers wished to revive their mother, but their good intentions cannot change the atrocity of their mistake, Truth makes this abundantly clear from the start. Edward loses his leg first, a punishment for "stepping" into God's shoes and transgressing the place of humans in their world. Alphonse loses his entire body, unable to feel any warmth or simple comforts like food and rest, when all he wanted was to feel the warmth and comfort of his mother's embrace again. At first, Alphonse's entire being is consumed by the gate, but Edward acts immediately, refusing to lose his little brother and refusing to allow his arrogance in this plan to cause his brother's death for only following his lead. Edward gives his right arm to have the gate give back Alphonse's soul, and stated clearly in his panic that he'd give his entire self to save Alphonse if that's what it would take, but Truth took his dominant arm only, showing something akin to mercy, although the character of Truth is capriciously strict and hard to describe as "merciful".

Through giving up his right arm, Edward regains his Right Hand Man, his little brother and best friend. His only remaining family, who he feels responsible for protecting in the absence of their parents. He felt immediately that he'd made a grave mistake, instantly full of regret as he realized the gate had taken his brother. In that moment he was willing to give anything to take it back and undo the suffering his arrogance caused his brother, yet Alphonse was still to suffer more to come. Ed tied Alphonse's disembodied soul to one of Hohenheim's collected suits of armor, managing to at least keep his brother alive in some way. One could say that Alphonse's punishment functioned as a secondary punishment for Edward, showing him how easily his hubris could have cost him what he has left in his obsession with regaining what they'd lost, their mother. A very clear symbolic reminder of the weight of his actions and how he'd misled his brother in his own naive ignorance. Even in giving another limb away to drag his brother's soul back out of the gate, he couldn't offer enough to bring him back intact. Thus is the law of equivalent exchange.

Now that we've reviewed some of that basic symbolism and the motifs the story draws upon with limbs and body parts in relation to characters, let's move on to each individual brother and break it down, shall we?

Edward Elric is a very realistic protagonist, this is one thing a majority of us familiar with this series can agree upon. He feels like a believable teen boy, with layers of complexity to his character while also showing arrogance and immaturity that is unsurprising at his age. He expresses unwillingness to kill and avoidance of unjust violence from the beginning, and has a strong moral code after the ordeal of committing the taboo.

In some characters his cocky personality would typically become grating, yet the story explains in itself why he is this way, then builds upon this to develop him into an incredibly mature character who is willing to admit when he's absolutely wrong and adapts to new information and context for the crisis unfolding around him as it comes, even if he remains crass. This arrogance is shown from the start to be a manifestation of insecurity, self loathing, and repressed guilt. Edward is a logic driven person, he has a very unique thought process, which is where my interpretation of him as autistic comes in. Edward's awkward social demeanor, somewhat abrasive and cold approach to some, and his trouble coping with nonsensical societal structures all stand out in this way. Furthermore he clearly shows hyperfixation, hyperactivity, special interest, and infodumping behaviors that are all too familiar. He's picky with food (*cough* the milk thing), has very little filter and speaks his mind bluntly even if this can warrant conflicting responses, yet at the same time struggles with vulnerable emotions, and he is frustrated when his own routine or itinerary are interrupted by forces beyond his control. All of these things Scream autism with comorbid ADHD. Many traits are shared between the brothers, and I'm quite certain they're both on the autism spectrum based on behavioral patterns. Neurodivergence aside, Edward's physical disabilities are undeniable.

Despite his bratty persona, Edward is fundamentally kind and uncharacteristically gentle and soft around the edges for a shonen protagonist in many ways. He cries openly on many occasions even if he struggles talking about his trauma and burdens in words at times, he feels pain, grief, and compassion so intensely it throws him into action on a regular basis in the narrative. In this way he's also a fantastic example of non-toxic masculinity (though in other ways he has displayed more toxic traits, he's just a kid). He acts on his heart, even if he's led by his mind and logic in most things. His humanity, value for life, and care for others will always win over his logic, and he shows a sense of personal responsibility for doing the right thing even if it harms him in the process. Ed is clearly shown having ghost pains in his lost limbs which is honestly an interesting detail to include, I don't think I've ever seen that aspect of amputation shown in media aside from FMA. It's also shown that when Ed's automail arm breaks this is a HUGE problem for him, but he's also shown to be very good at working around this in difficult circumstances. He doesn't become completely helpless, even if majorly weakened.

Alphonse is an extremely lovable and compassionate boy, brimming with altruism and care for others. Even in his noncorporeal state he pursues a better future and he's not helpless by any stretch. Edward clearly states Alphonse is the superior fighter for example, and it's not just because of his armor body being so large. He's *talented*, that's a fact. Al is every bit as clever and capable as Ed, moreso in some ways, and I love that about his character *because* he's so clearly disabled. He has no sense of pain, he is completely incapable of sleeping, he can't eat, can't relax or find comfort, he can only exist and think. This causes him to overthink in all his time alone, this is debilitating. He clearly is absolutely sick of the loneliness this causes, and he often feels helpless though he's not. He has doubts and fears that consume him in relation to his armor body, he questions his own personhood, even. Yet, Edward is stubborn and staunch in affirming that no matter what he's dealing with, he is fundamentally still a human being that is loved and irreplaceable. Alphonse is powerful and his body gives him some advantages, but it also sets him back, and the brothers know this even when others claim Alphonse's state is somehow a good thing. I have hEDS, a disability that comes with advantages as well as the major downsides, so I can understand and relate to Alphonse here. I too am told my disability is a boon because of flexibility and because I'm less likely to fracture bones, but I'm twice as likely to injure my ligaments and joints, which people ignore.

The brothers are both disabled, both flawed, both show weaknesses, but they are competent, determined, and strong in their own right. They are rounded characters that exist for more than to be pitied or condescended to by able bodied characters around them. They put their entire being in everything that they do no matter what that is, and they don't know the meaning of giving up. These traits that they're made of truly make them a shining example of disability in protagonists for others to look to for reference when writing their own disabled characters.

Even though by the end Edward has regained one limb and Al has regained his body, this also doesn't just deus ex machina reverse their disability or make it go away. It's clear that Alphonse's body is weak and has to be rehabilitated upon recovery, and Edward is still missing his leg and bears the scars and pieces of the port from his automail arm. They weren't suddenly made able bodied upon recovering these things, they reclaimed what was lost through struggle and grit, but the narrative didn't give the impression that their disability in itself was something to be fixed, which is important. They wanted to recover their bodies, but this doesn't erase the effects of their disability.

It was about Edward atoning for leading Alphonse into their mistake and saving his brother from suffering further, it was about them proving they can keep moving forward no matter what, not about getting rid of their disability in itself or putting themselves down because of the disabilities. This, to me, as a mentally and physically disabled viewer, is so important. They achieve their goal, but this doesn't in any way erase or undo the effects of their initial losses, they find ways to adapt and move on but they're still affected and still disabled. They always will be. That can be so important to see in comfort characters, and as a disabled individual who's had both brothers as comfort characters since I was a child, their impact on my own journey is surprisingly tangible for fiction.

Feysand: An Objective Perspective

Is Rhysand An Abuser?

First, if we mean to be objective, we must use an objective classification. What is domestic abuse? According to facs.nsw.gov.au, “It’s when there is violent, abusive or bullying behaviour or actions towards a partner or former partner to scare and control them. It can happen at home or outside the home. It causes fear and harm to the body, mind and spirit.”

The Domestic Abuse Hotline also has this to say: “Domestic violence (also referred to as intimate partner violence (IPV), dating abuse, or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship.”

Hopefully, we can agree on those two definitions. Now, does Rhysand demonstrate “violent, abusive or bullying behaviour”? Do his actions fall into “a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control”?

The simple answer: it’s complicated. Because of the way Sarah J. Maas has written this series, Rhysand is The Ultimate Man Male. He can essentially do no wrong. Any bad behavior is swept under the guise of his “mask”- i.e., the scene in the Court of Nightmares. Or, if he hurts her, it is brushed off as for her own good- like the time Under The Mountain. This makes it difficult to figure out whether or not he is an abuser, or whether he’s just… like that. In order to understand this, I’m going to give a few examples of things that Tamlin, the known abuser of the series, has done to Feyre.

He infringed on her autonomy by preventing her from leaving the house, thereby limiting her rights.

He lost his temper and exploded a room with her inside of it, thereby putting her in danger.

Let’s look at examples of Rhysand, and what I believe to be some MAJOR red flags.

He purposefully does not tell her about vital information to do with her pregnancy. She almost dies because of this. This omission of information, to me, demonstrated a very clear lack of respect. Maybe, if she had known that there was a possibility she could die, she would have chosen to have an abortion- or, if he had told her beforehand, when she gave him her xmas present, she might not have chosen to have a baby at all. I don’t want to make this a pro-choice issue… but at some level, it is.

He sends her to the home of a cannibalistic, highly dangerous, ancient, powerful, vicious being to get a piece of jewelry, thereby putting her in a massive amount of danger. I cannot emphasize this enough. Putting someone in a situation where they could be eaten alive does not demonstrate your respect for them. I know Maas was trying to write him as a Sexy Consent King, like “hey babe i respect u SO much i’m going to send you to a monster’s lair because I TRUST YOUR aBILITIES BABE”, but… no. No.

Under The Mountain, he drugs her and puts her on his lap, thereby limiting her rights. Not even going to bother to elaborate. Y’all know this by heart.

In conclusion: It isn’t black and white. I believe he positions himself as the king of consent and giving her choices while maneuvering it so that she has less and less choices as they go along (i.e. him not telling her about the crucial pregnancy info), which definitely qualifies as abusive behavior. But someone else might see it differently. From my perspective, it is abuse. But because I swore this was going to be objective, I’m going to say my final answer is: think about it.

On The Issue Of Rhysand And “Consent”

Again, for the people in the back: Putting someone in a situation where they could be eaten alive does not demonstrate your respect for them. Here’s a post that talks about consent much better than I could. In her words, “idolizing consent over lives” is dangerous, harmful, and very real. Do NOT blindly regurgitate every *woke* maxim on consent that you read! Let’s not, as a society, get to a point where it’s like: “Do I have your consent to pour this drink over your head because you said something beyond offensive about my ethnicity?” or “Do I have your consent to take away your car keys so you won’t drive drunk and possible harm others/yourself?” Trust your gut.

How does this relate to Rhysand? Well, first of all, he undeniably puts her in danger. This is justified by the contrast between him and Tamlin. Maas essentially is telling us that Tamlin limits her by keeping her out of danger, and Rhysand empowers her by giving her access to danger. And it’s very easy to get caught in the undertow of this strange logic. Believe me, it is. When I first read the ACOTAR series, I was jiving along with all of your Fuck Tamlin Let Him Die playlists. But here’s a radical idea: imperilment is not a love language. I am not saying that Tamlin was a better option. I am saying that it is possible to respect someone and their right to their own decisions without putting them in danger.

On Making Her High Lady

While it’s fucked up that before Feyre, there were no High Ladies, Feyre incontrovertibly should not be High Lady. Why? Because in fae terms, she is an infant. She learned to read a few years ago. (I am not ridiculing her for her illiteracy, because I understand that the circumstances in which she grew up did not allow for a literate education. That is completely understandable! However, what is not understandable is putting this woman into a position of staggering political power. Learning to read a few years ago means that her comprehension rate is likely a lot lower than the average Velaris citizen. It is… not good for the ruler of a territory to be less capable than the average citizen. This would be like if the president didn’t have a high school diploma.). She has no knowledge of the political landscape. She does not understand etiquette (i.e. her physically attacking someone because of an insult, although to be 100% fair, Rhysand did the same.)

Hey, Feyre! Someone slut-shaming your mate for sleeping with Fae Hitler is not grounds for murder! In ordinary life, it would be grounds for slapping him in the face or something similar, but YOU ARE TRYING TO HAVE A CRISIS COMMITTEE BETWEEN TERRITORIES, WHICH HAS THE POTENTIAL TO SAVE THOUSANDS OF LIVES. An inability to sacrifice one’s ego, even at the potential loss of life, is a worrying characteristic in a ruler.

In Conclusion:

Feyre is not unproblematic when one looks at her decisions as a whole. While the narrative positions events so that they all turn out in her favor, as one would expect given that authors not only write character but plots, in a real-life situation - or just a more realistic plot - her actions would harm many, many people. Rhysand’s behavior towards Feyre is worrying as well, and objectively I think it’s fair to say qualify as signs, if not absolute empirical evidence of abuse.

Sindria’s Prohpet  06

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**major manga spoilers **partial nudity

When we entered the hotel, the staff looked nervous. At least they recognized King Sinbad this time. Everyone knew about the battle at this point, and some of us had bandages, so there were no questions about our appearance.

Some mild pleasantries were shared while they secured their normal rooms. Ja'far added, "We'll be booking two more rooms as well. Both with 2 beds." "Make that three rooms. Two singles, and one double," Sinbad corrected confidently. At Ja'far's questioning look he explained, "Mori deserves a room to herself, and we can't ask Morgiana to-." "I don't mind sharing a room with Morgiana," I cut in. It might not be my money, but it still felt like a waste. "I insist." His smile was unwavering, and being an actual King, Sinbad got his way -not that either of us understood why I needed my own room. I decided not to look a gifted horse in the mouth. It was only going to be for one night anyway. A group of maids came to escort us to our rooms. Masrur was with the others and would be able to get them in when they arrived. Before we started walking, Ja'far turn to me. "Mori, you can give them your coat now so they can start cleaning it." He had a good idea -in theory. Part of me was surprised that was something the staff of a hotel would do, but I figured he wouldn't have suggested it if it wasn't possible. All the same, "I'd rather wait until I get to the room." "They will take good care of it and will return it to you." Ja'far must have caught my nerves and misinterpreted. Again words escaped me, so I used my actions. I grabbed the collar of my hoodie with one hand and the zipper tab with the other. I unzipped my hoodie to the bottom of my ribcage. Nothing slipped out, but I was undeniably not wearing anything underneath. "M-my lady!” Ja'far stammered. The maids were equally shocked. Sinbad had that sparkle in his eye. I regretted all my life decisions. As a demi-ace I often forget that some people experience sexual attraction just because. I zipped my hoodie back up quickly and repeated, "I'd rather wait until I get to the room."

There was the absolute shortest silence as Ja'far calculated what to do. He turned to one of the maids and requested a change of clothes to be delivered to my room. I guess having money really can buy any service you want. After the maid ran off, Ja'far apologized for not accepting my 'no' the first time, but still reprimanded me for not acting with better manners; he wasn't wrong. My shame lead me to the back of the pack as we started walking. For the first minute we walked in silence. Then the waves began to pick up. The injured dungeon capturer joined me. "You know, Mori," Sinbad still looked tired, but his smile shown like gold, "I had thought that metal was a small decoration. Is it a magic item? I've never seen clothes stitch back together like that." "What?" Zippers weren't invented until the 1800's, and Magi seems to start at our equivalent of early AD to maybe the 1500's depending on the region, plus fantasy stuff -all pre-industrial revolution. This world didn't have clocks let alone the manufacturing technology to make a zipper...yet. "Oh right." I slowed down a bit and put some space between us and Ja'far with the maids. The king matched my pace. I explained about the interlocking teeth, and demonstrated a few times (but no more than 3in/7.6cm) before fully zipping back up. I ended with, "This is nothing. You wouldn't believe the technology I had back home." Sinbad had a look about him; he was definitely plotting. "Would you tell me about your home sometime?" Again my knowledge was the most valuable thing about me. Ja'far glanced back at his King. He knew what his master was planning, and so did I.

"I don't know, King Sinbad." I played coy. "Why should I tell you something so valuable for free?" He played along, and let his shoulders drop in fake disappointment. "So you still think I'm a scoundrel? I'm even paying for all of your expenses." I hummed. "As I remember it, you agreed to supply those things in exchange for learning my name and my predictions to help save Balbadd." He didn't look like he had been caught in the act. This was definitely being used as an excuse to bring up going to Sindria again. And this time I wasn't nervous. I continued, "I did my part. Don't tell me you want to change the terms now that you won't be getting anything else out of it- like a scoundrel would," ending with a teasing tone. He directed all his charms at me. "What if I want to make a totally new agreement?" It should be illegal for this man to smile while making eye contact. "Have you given it more thought? Coming with me, and becoming the Prophet of Sindria?" Bingo "I have." I couldn't hide my smile if I tried, so I broke eye contact and watched those in front of us. "But I won't make my final decision until I hear what you plan on offering in return." The dust had barely started to settle in Balbadd, yet the two of us were already trying to make good on the seeds we planted when we first met. We both wanted the same thing -even our waves were flowing together. "Oh?" Sinbad was being as playfully as I was. I felt his hand hit at my elbow then slide down my arm until he got to my hand. His fingers curled around mine and he brought my knuckles up towards his lips. My eyes followed our connected hands; the sight lead me back to his eyes. As soon as our eyes met he stopped us walking -putting all of my attention on him- and said, "I promise as the King of Sindria, if you bless us with your prophecies, you will want for nothing." Did he really need to use seduction whenever he wanted something from a perceived woman? It was affective and heartless. Since I knew his character so well I decided to view it as proof that I held value to him. I know how to control my expression when I need to, but I can't seem to keep from blushing when Sinbad is involved. I answered him with a smile, "What more could I ask for, my King?” 

Sinbad's offer was about what I had anticipated. I'd be supplied with housing and food, and if I asked for something he'd get it for me as long as it was within reason. It would be like being a child living off of their parents with no disposable income of their own -and I wanted to be able to live as an independent adult. When my 'prophecies' run out some time in the next two to five years, and I loose my worth to him, how will I survive? It was too early to push for more. I had time to figure it out. At least, I'd have two years of guaranteed security. Sinbad's smile went from controlled flirty to prideful as he got what he was after. "Now you really are MY Beautiful Prophet." His grip tightened on my hand and he got us walking again. He seemed lighter on his feet as he guided me hand in hand. My free left hand flew to my face. I couldn't tell which of us I was more embarrassed for. I needed something else to focus on if I was going to survive his flirting. "I don't know how you're standing right now with all of your injuries -let alone flirting so hard." He laughed at my reaction. "Are you worried about me?" "Of course." I kept my eyes trained on the people in front of us. His blood was still on my clothes. It hadn't even been a day since he got those injuries, and yet I could feel through the bandages that the hole made by the ice spear was gone. "You literally couldn't stand on your own earlier. You may have mastered multiple Djinns, but you're still human." "If you're that worried about me, perhaps you'd like to look after me yourself." He pulled my hand closer to him again and of course the rest of me came with it. My shoulder bumped against his arm. He easily countered my attempt to damped the mood. He was definitely too smooth. "Watching you sleep does not sound like a good use of my time." I made a point of denying his risque implications. The idea of personally making sure he rested wasn't bad -I was into domestic stuff like that- but he obviously meant it in the most flirty and perverted way possible. Sinbad gave one last attempt to seduce me. "Since you're finally on my side; I was hoping we could get to know each other better." He had to be in pain with those injuries -even with magical treatment. So even if I ever was interested in a one-night-stand it definitely wouldn't be with someone in his condition. I removed my hand from his and put more space back between us. "We'll have plenty of time to talk later." Sinbad still had a playful tone but it was softer. "Is this another prophecy?" At least he knew how to take a hint. I answered without looking at him, "Yes, actually." He accepted my 'no,' so I felt like rewarding his good behavior. "Starting tomorrow afternoon we'll have plenty of time to talk." Sinbad was smart; he'd remember what I told him the previous day. The Kou Fleet would be arriving by this time tomorrow. There would be plenty of time to talk on the ship to Sindria. I was grateful that King Sinbad let me end the conversation. He walked next to me silently the rest of the way. It was strangely comfortable to have him right there. The calmer waves were nice too. I was dropped off at my room first and asked if there was anything else I needed or wanted besides the change of clothes that was on it's way. Sinbad was already trying to prove that I would "want for nothing." It would be better for me to accept the offer as a show of faith. After thinking it over for a moment, I asked for writing supplies. --- My room had multiple windows that let in a lot of natural sunlight during the day. There was a large bed with a canopy. Everything was covered in ornate patterns. It was a beautiful room. I might be more of a character artist than a background artist, but if I had the materials I'd be using the room as reference. Some maids showed up not long after I had finished looking around the space. They delivered the promised clothes, and 6 blank scrolls, a cloth pull-string bag, a few quills, a few bottles of ink, a cleaning clothe and a bottle for water. It was far more than I expected. I went behind the half wall and passed them all of the dirty clothes I had on. Instead of putting the new clothes on right away, I decided to wash up in the room's bathroom. Given the historical setting I really wasn't expecting much, but god bless anime contrivance. Sure, there wasn't running water, and I still had to use a chamber pot, but the soaps, conditioner and lotions provided were practically modern. India might have had the start of modern shampoo 3000 some years ago, but that wouldn't hold a candle to this. I had to be frugal with the water since I only had one large pot of it, but I managed to achieve a near normal level of clean. I caught my reflection in a mirror I only just noticed. Was this wish-fulfillment? Or just anime? My proportions felt the same, and that was definitely my bone structure. But seeing my breasts have some lift without a bra on was weird. I even ran around earlier without these lumps painfully bouncing around. It was unsettling, but extremely convenient. This couldn't be real life. Maybe I was in a self-indulgent fanfiction. I laughed at the thought. I shouldn't stand around naked. It was time to put on my new clothes. As someone who grew up in the preforming arts, and did historical reenacting (gov funded & SCA), I knew I could figure out how to put on whatever they had supplied me -I just wouldn't necessarily know the proper names for things. There was a white tunic, an over skirt, and a long cloth that reminded me of a cloth belt more than a decorative sash. They probably got me such nice things because I was a guest of a King. The tunic was tight in the usual places though. I didn't have any pins, so I had to leave the top unfastened. When tying the belt it pulled the front together more so the makeshift v-neck wasn't as exposing at least. The skirt was too long so I had to fold the top. If it wasn't for the cloth belt securing both tightly to my waist none of it would have fit. When I looked in the mirror I couldn't shake the feeling that an up-do would compliment the outfit. Luckily, I know how to put my hair in a bun with nothing to hold it. It wouldn't stay if I ran around, but I foresaw a lot of sitting down in my future so that wasn't a problem. My flip-flops didn't exactly complete the look, but whatever. Staring at my reflection gave me an odd feeling. I had worn similar enough clothes before as a reenactor, but I wasn't reenacting or dressing up for the fun of it. Clothes like these were going to become my new normal. And if I wanted my original clothes to last, I'd have to pack them away and never wear them again. I wasn't ready to visually discard my home yet. I felt tears forming. The Balbadd arc was technically over, but that didn't mean I had time to mourn yet. This wasn't just mourning my home. Thinking about my original clothes brought up the memory of Sinbad collapsing and bleeding on me which lead to the memory of people bleeding out on the street. If only I had acted sooner. If only I hadn't taken as long to accept that I'm here and should live in the present. I vowed to not allow anything like this to happen again. I started thinking about the future. It was easier than mourning. In the manga it states that the time between the end of the Balbadd arc and when King Sinbad returns from visiting the Kou Empire is six months, and that that was four months since the last time Alibaba saw the king. I couldn't explain it, but I could feel that fate would flow like in the manga instead of the anime in at least this aspect. Knowing I was going to be basically useless as a prophet for six months didn't sit well with me. I needed to think hard about the future and what I could do to change it -as well as what I shouldn't say. I had already promised that I would explain about the 2 times the world would almost be destroyed. The second time was Sinbad's fault. Could I really tell him this early that he would choose to destroy the world in the pursuit of his own greed? I didn't think so -especially not with David practically watching everything Sinbad does. There were roughly two years until the dark spot would form in Mognostadt, and Aladdin would agree to tell all of the leaders the story of the previous world. It was hearing that story paired with his savior/god complex and greed that sent Sinbad down the path of using David, and breaking into the Sacred Palace. There was a chance to prevent Aladdin from telling that story, but if I couldn't then I'd need to influence Sinbad enough that he wouldn't make the same decisions. I'd have 2 months to try to bond with Sinbad before he'd leave for the Kou Empire. Would it be worth the risk to try to go with him? Only 2 years until the turning point isn't a lot of time. The memory of Sinbad calling me "amazing" made me think that I had a chance to become someone he'd trust. At least I had already been making some kind of progress on Plan B. Plan A was making sure that Sinbad and co would arrive at Mognostadt before Aladdin would make the deal with Kouen. Depending on how early they got there, they might have to deal with the Reim's airships and bombs. Reim might have decided to join the Seven Seas Alliance right before the battle, but the Reim technology had caught everyone off guard. I actually knew how blimps and those explosives worked. Hell, with the magicians working in Sindria, all they'd need would be the knowledge of how the natural world works and they'd be able to exploit it much better than Reim by combining science with their magic. I had been a teacher for six years, a draftsman in tech for four years, and grew up in a science household. so I knew I had what was needed to bring this world into the modern era before Sinbad would in the manga. But should I do it? Sinbad had seemed interested in the technology of my world when I explained zippers. I could probably sell some of my knowledge. Then I'd be able to save up, so I'd be able to survive after running out of prophecies. I pulled out a scroll and made some test marks. Where would I start explaining the science behind blimps? How air isn't one thing? Would it be worth explaining to not use helium since it's flammable? Do I bother explaining the periodic table of elements? The affects heat has on air currents and weather? What about the flight mechanics of bird wings to make gliders or planes? I'd make it easy to understand later. For now I would write as much as I could remember. I left blank spaces here and there to go back to so I could fill in whatever I'd forgotten -I definitely didn't leave enough space in a few spots. I also made many diagrams. Isekai, or anime magic? Whatever it was, I adjusted much faster to using a quill pen than I anticipated. I had experimented with dip pens before and even made my own out of bamboo for a class, but I was never this fast or clean. The ink was slow to dry, so I let the scrolls hang off the table as I progressed along it. When I got stuck on how to explain something, I switched scrolls and wrote down everything that had happened and changed since I was Isekaied. It would help me figure out how things might change in the future. I didn't write down anything about the future directly just in case. This also gave me an excuse to draw for the first time in days. Since I was Isekaied 4 days ago, 2020 October 3rd, that meant it would be the 7th back home. I was missing all of the October art challenges. "'Remember Oct 3rd.'" I couldn't help but laugh. Fullmetal Alchemist had been a major hyper fixation for me back in middle school when it first came to the states. I even had 2 state alchemist pocket watches with that exact phrase etched on the inside. Now that phrase had a whole new meaning for me. I made a note to recreate all of my favorite stories if I could find the time -or at least write down as much as I could remember. I switched to writing about weather patterns.

The longer I wrote the easier it got. It still took a while with my poor night vision, but eventually my eyes did adjust to the light. I was on a roll or 4 (scroll pun). These scrolls were like a science fever dream. I even made one on biology and atoms and stuff. *Knock knock* I was surprised that someone was visiting so late. But then I could see the door very easily from the desk. I quickly turned to look at the windows. Sure enough, I had done an all-nighter. That would explain my growing headache. Maids were at the door. They returned my clothes. Most of the blood was out of the hoodie, but there were still a few spots along the seams where the stains didn't fully fade. You wouldn't see them unless you were looking for them though. The maids also told me that King Sinbad had a large breakfast prepared for everyone. I wanted to go -really- but the Kou fleet was coming and I wanted to pack ahead of time. I asked that they send my apologies and requested food be brought to me instead. My hands were shaking. Was it emotional or just physical exhaustion? I hadn't slept for 2 days in a row. I packed my clothes while I waited for the scrolls to dry more. It was nearly mid morning by the time the ink dried so I could finish. I left the room with everything I owned. I didn't plan on coming back. I couldn't find anyone until I left and saw Morgiana helping give out food. She let me know that everyone else was already at the Palace. I had been afraid that might be the case. I didn't know if I'd be allowed in, but I made my way there.

I do get that Star Wars fans can be quite anti-religious in their views of the Jedi, but I think that also might be because the actual religious aspects of the Jedi aren't really expanded too much on, so people fill it with what they know, and many people are just very familiar with Christianity,  even if they don't want to be.

I agree with this a lot.  Star Wars doesn’t really explicitly state very often that the Jedi are a religion and a culture, which is further confused by their connection to the Senate, and that we don’t really have a perfect real-world analogy to compare them to.  They’re not purely a government agency, but their culture is one that is tied to the government. It’s further complicated by that we’re primed by so many other popular media franchises basing their religions on the way Christianity works, both in terms of structure and in how we relate to it--like how we have the idea that, if you’re religious, well, your faith must be the same as your morals, which must be the same as your ethics, which is something that I don’t think the Jedi believe. They say, “Feel your emotions, but control yourself before you hurt someone.” and “We’re married to our Order, rather than to a specific person.” and they don’t believe these things are fundamental truths about the way the galaxy should work, but instead that it’s how they work.  We know they don’t believe this has to be true for everyone because they speak really warmly of people who leave to go live other types of lives--they defend Dooku right up until it’s undeniable that he’s leading the Separatists, they have busts of people who’ve left right there in their library, they get along with people who left to go fall in love (Star Wars 2015 ongoing), they talk warmly about how they can go on to be leaders or just quietly live their own lives (Dooku: Jedi Lost) and all of it is said with respect. So, because we’re so used to religious people framing their beliefs as morals and ethics, we’re primed to think the Jedi do the same, despite that they very clearly don’t. As well as most people default to Christianity because that’s what we’re primed to do, as well as there’s a fairly common thing in a lot of fandoms where influences are treated the same as portrayals of something.  That, if something is inspired or influenced by a real-world culture, then it’s meant to be judged by the idea that it’s a 1:1 relationship to that element.  Which I don’t think is fair--because the Jedi are influenced by Buddhism and Christianity both, but they are not meant to actually be either one of those, they’re not meant to be an accurate portrayal of them, they’re meant to be their own thing. George Lucas has talked about how Star Wars isn’t really tied to one religion, it’s an amalgamation of common themes throughout multiple religions, which I really enjoy, as it gets me to see the Jedi in and of themselves, not as a bastardization of this or that. But it doesn’t help that the movies, TCW, and even the supplementary material doesn’t really do a ton of worldbuilding, so we’re often left to fill in the blanks with assumptions and half-explained stuff, because the Jedi (and I actually really love this about them, but it can be super frustrating) seem to follow George’s belief that the way you teach isn’t to drill-and-kill (ie, rote memorization/over explaining) your students, but to let them figure stuff out on their own, to provide guidance, but let them work through it, so that they’ll remember what they learned. Which translates into the Jedi don’t really directly say a lot of stuff we might wish they would--they say stuff that’s strange to the audience (there’s an OT documentary where George talks about writing Yoda’s dialogue as deliberately wonky so that the audience would have to really think about what he said and parse it out for themselves), they don’t fire back with more plainly stated rebuttals to stuff.  Ie, the whole “brainwashing” thing could be shut down with a simple, “So, any culture who raises their children within that culture are brainwashing them, too, huh?”, but that’s not how the Jedi talk, look at Qui-Gon in the deleted scene from The Phantom Menace, where Anakin is beating up little Greedo and Qui-Gon interrupts to stop it, and asks if Greedo still thinks Anakin cheated.  He does.  Anakin knows the truth about himself, though, so he has to make peace with that Greedo disagrees.  I find that sort of sums up the Jedi a lot, they know themselves and so they don’t feel the need to snap back with retorts, even when I sometimes dearly wish they would.  (It has to get reasonably serious before a Jedi will go, “Hey, that’s not a fair accusation, back off.”) And that means it’s a lot harder for me to point out a specific thing and go, “Here’s what’s really going on.” and instead have to show a pattern of behavior and connect a bunch of WOG quotes together and it winds up being a lot of reading, even when I can make a pretty thorough case. But because we don’t have a ton of actual worldbuilding (seriously, we barely know anything about how Jedi life works), we’re left to headcanon things or make assumptions and because it’s not filled in very well, it gets easy to lean on what we’re used to seeing in other franchises and popular media. Hell, even all of the above is only really the tip of the iceberg when it comes to talking about this kind of stuff, because we’re not even getting into the way societal trends can influence us, the way sub-societal trends can come in waves, the way there’s a multitude of different groups coming in with different experiences that shape different view points, and a crapload of other things. Honestly, I’m not sure even all of the people who are creators (like of the comics and novels and such) really think of the Jedi in terms of them being a religion and a culture, rather than just like a long-term boarding school, because there’s precious little in the actual canon that states it plainly and, instead, it’s more about how you step back and look at the bigger picture.  That you see them raising children, you see them creating art, you see them with sacred rituals and history, you see them with traditions and prayers, you see them with an aesthetic that’s specific to them, you see them with their own words for the aspects of their culture that are unique to them, etc.  And you realize, oh, yes, that is absolutely a religion and a culture unto itself. (As a disclaimer, this doesn’t apply to everyone, SW audiences are not a monolith, I’m only speaking to my own experiences and progression as a SW fan and experiences in previous fandoms with some bigger inter-fandom trends.)