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#like Id cry that’s so sweet
starlooove · 1 year
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I LOVE SEEING SO MANY SPIDERSONAS
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arthur-kingsmen · 25 days
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bought some yarn and thought it’d make a delightful baby blanket for my cousin who’s getting married. but turns out he only uses cotton fabrics for religious reasons so i cant use the yarn. im not mad. its an excuse to buy more yarn and save the first yarn for Myself. or for another baby blanket. i have so many cousins and EYE dont want kids but they are getting to Baby Having Age so i could knit baby blankets nonstop forever probably. i cannot wait to be the cool aunt who gives every single baby a blanket :)
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neobisexual · 14 days
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had a very intense semi lucid dream last night where i was the daughter/acolyte of an insane cult leader/my dad who performed non consenual surgery on me and molested and raped me. it inspired me to start writing a lil sci fi novella but also to clean out my closet and find my vibrator cuz i was desperate for it after waking up lmfao
#he had like. grown me & a few other and inserted more and more mechanical parts into us through our lives#so we were mostly machine inside. but human-looking outside#and i tried to run away and got the shit kicked out of me by my sister/fellow cult member#she patched me up most of the way but for the complicated stuff dad had to help#one of my arms had been broken so he just cut the whole thing open to fuck with the wires and stuff. it felt so awful guhhhhh#and after that he started trying to finger me and asking questions about wether id slept with anyone while i had been away#and told me he knew id been touching myself and that made me disgusting and corrupt and that was why id tried to leave. and he had to fix#my mind too.#there was blood on his fingers when he pulled them out of me and he got so so pissed#i was crying and trying to explain i was on my period but he said that was a lie and id been trying to hide more injuries from him so he#couldnt finish fixing me#and he spent a solid twenty minutes beating me for it while groping me & continuing to finger me#he had a metal arm n that was the one he was using too so i kept getting cut and bleeding more and hed yell and hit me more and he just#wouldnt stop 😵‍💫😵‍💫#i was tied down by my wrists laying on my tummy but he forced me to roll over so he could punch my stomach a lot too ;-;#toward the end he got on top of me and started grinding against me#talking to me nice again and saying i was his girl and he just wanted to make me better and i only had to cooperate#i was sobbing and panicking still but he was just petting me#he tried to push his cock in me but he like. couldnt fit.#he could only get a couple inches in and he stayed sweet for a little longer but then he started getting frustrated#yelling at me to stop fighting him and slapping my face#and i was trying so so hard to relax and let him in so it could be over but i was just too small#he gave up after awhile and finished cleaning me up without saying anything then left me alone down there. still tied down and crying.#that was only one part of the dream there was a whole plotline where i had made contact with 2 people (a brother and sister) on the outside#who were trying to save me. and i was trying to talk my sister into leaving with me because i was so terrified of losing her#eventually i did get out and ended up living with the brother and sister and it was super cute and sweet#parts of the dream were from her pov too. she made us all matching hats :]
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hecksupremechips · 2 months
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Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of
#writing him has just been like. OOOOWOEOEOEOOE i piss tears i cant handle this shit this gay ass shit#i came up with an idea for just like a cute short one shot i wanna do soon and hnnnghh im so emo about it#very healing its like very hard to write some of the shit im gonna be writing cuz basically#some of it is just a little too real man and while i crave the angst and the drama i am just like#AND THEN EVERYONE HOLDS HANDS AND ITS OKAY PLEASE DONT CRY PLEASE#and ive mentioned how shinji has accidentally become nb to me now because i just kinda happened to write him that way without meaning to#and now another thing im noticing is that in my fic hes kinda bpd coded#it definitely wasnt intentional but now im accepting it as truth no one can stop me#i just really need him to be happy its more important to me than anything else man i need it for me#and he needs to be gay with aki they need to kissy and i think its funny cuz even in the parts where shinji is mad at aki and pushing him#away its like. he kinda has it bad lol and its clear he feels no actual hatred towards aki but more just self deprecation because he doesnt#feel good enough and like idk i just think about their respective roles in society like#aki is an honor student star boxer hero very attractive very kind very popular got adopted by a rich family#hes going places you know meanwhile shinji is a drop out who never had a family ever hes homeless hes sketchy hes on drugs#his reputation couldnt be any worse and he just leans into it and feels he has no future and hes worthless garbage#and aki could literally have anyone he wants you know he has an army of girls pining over him but he doesnt want them#HE WANTS SHINJI AND NO ONE ELSE HE SPENDS YEARS CHASING AFTER HIM#and shinji HATES it hes trying so hard to push him away and be the crusty delinquent and make aki see how worthless he really is#but aki just doesnt stop he loves him so much makes me sick SICK#and shinji really loves him back hes like not gonna shut up ever about aki hes like either doing it in a gay ass annoyed way#or hes like ‘haha omg aki is so cute though hes always trying so hard to be tough but hes just so sweet and gentle you know i hope he#doesnt push himself too hard if he got hurt id fall apart hes so silly i hope hes eating good i desire him carnally’#yeah sorry gamers this is just a pairing i cant be normal about they mean so much to me personally the fate of the world rests upon them
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xannerz · 5 months
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oughg
vp asked me how i was on a personal level during a call today, like actually Checking In (maybe it's because i've been more scattered/frazzled lately and i said i have been overwhelmed), and i froze, staring into the webcam like
"not great"
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scattered-winter · 11 months
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horrifying self recognition through the other aside this has been an actually not terrible start to The Family Gathering tbh
#my cousin who i havent really seen in a while came up to me and asked abt my pronouns because i came out to the fam a while ago#and he didnt really remember what id said (which. fair. its a big family w lots of things to remember)#and so he asked what my pronouns were and i told him and he promised that if he ever messed up i needed to make him#do like 5 or 10 pushups lmao#and ngl. its the sweetest thing anyone in this family has ever said to me abt that#everyone else has kinda just. moved on. and either forgotten that im not a girl or purposefully ignoring it.#and idk maybe i should stand up for myself a little more but ive been practically a doormat all my life#and idk. its hard using my voice and establishing boundaries when ive let ppl bulldoze over me for almost 20 years.#sigh. anyway.#im gonna be thinking about that all day tbh it was genuinely so sweet#and i am also being consumed by The Loneliness again <3#just. i want someone to just talk to about all this??? someone who isnt in my family because they all have stakes in it too?????#we're all grieving. i aint special.#i just want to talk to someone about it in person so they can hold my hand while i cry myself to sleep because ngl#thats what it looks like we're doing tonight#im just. tired of feeling alone in this enormous family where it seems like im the only odd man out#and also ykw the Not Having Any Irl Friends loneliness too. thats also pretty significant.#not saying my internet friends arent great i love yall so so so much but it has just been .#a really really long time since ive had a good cry n hug session w someone.#sigh. im tired i need to go to bed#winter speaks#personal
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kitwing-moving · 1 year
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is everypony offline. can i admit something and post eichi cringethoughts. kicks a rock.....
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orcelito · 5 months
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Ok triple vaccine is kicking my ass. Now. I am.now grateful that I scheduled it with a day off after
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ditch-lily · 1 year
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🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?
<333
OK this one is a funny one for me to answer cause my first instinct is. I'm an illustrator and I GAG at the thought of sequentials WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ---
WRITING IS SOOOO MUCH QUICKER
(and yes i know not all narrative illustrations need to be sequentials and most fic fanart isn't!! but that's where my brain went first hahaha.)
so that being said, I would not pick out a scene - b/c specific scenes can be difficult to draw. instead I'd just say hey, if you create something from my silly little fic ur amazing and that's so ridiculously insane of you (affectionate) idk even WHY YOU WOULD DO SUCH A THING --
or even if someone. maybe made like a mini snapshot of one of Kim and chays online interactions (say like you see on twitter, the social media aus that people make) THAT would blow my brain apart
(and ohhh I hope this doesn't come off as dismissive as that is not my intention! it's more me just. knowing how much effort gets put into fanart so someone doing that for my little fic is just crazy to me lol)
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soothedcerberus · 1 year
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I can’t draw but I wanna make you a gift involving Rembrandt- design good
!!ARE U KIDDING I WOULD BE ELATED IF U DREW BRANDT FOR MEEE 😭😭💖🥺
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zackcollins · 2 years
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I’m a special gorl, guys 👉👈🥺
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sollucets · 1 year
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i have had a mildly nightmarish 24 hours or so and as a result i went through a bunch of blogs i follow trying to find something to consume to cheer me up and i tried cherry magic and . like. no my mental illnesses are not cured but it DID help
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ayakinari · 2 years
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of all the ways i expected 2022 to go becoming an enstarrie was not one of them
#negative or positively i cant say honestly its just baffling in itself#tell me this last year and i wouldve laughed#acanthe and valkyrie was one reason. another was actually so i could talk to this really cool girl in my class and having 0 social skills i#had to resort to a common interest i didnt think id get in this deep what is wrong w me#well on the bright side i did manage to befriend her and some other nice classmates of mine!!!#got to hang out w her outside of classes a couple times with some of her friends too it was fun actually socializing for once#what i wasnt expecting was being emotionally devastated at nearly every single story i read i was absolutely in shambles in my friend's dms#i thought it was just another idol series. i was wrong!#that all nighter i pulled after finishing the anime reading a bunch of stories and i still went to class. slept through half of it though#terrible experience would not recommend doing that#duck rants about something#honestly was never particularly interested in idol guys considering ive been into stuff like aikatsu and pripara among other things but damn#ok maybe it was also bc of naru her tgirl swag piqued my curiosity and that led to learning what the hell was up w eichi and wataru#somehow#further leading to watching the anime and wow i am never getting out of here am i#○| ̄|_#incredibly sorry for the person ive become. kind of. not really#worst story experiences would probably be sweet halloween‚ meteor impact‚ and human comedy in no particular order#meteor impact especially was. augh. i was crying in a call trying to reread it#ive read it like? three times now i think? it rly broke something in me#chiakana truly the world i love them and their ryusei family so much#and shu's development always makes me. *punches a wall and cries*#you'd think stories with ''comedy'' in the title would be lighthearted and comedic but no all it does is rip my heart out of my chest#and cause me to sob uncontrollably#putting off actually reading marionette though it already broke me in the anime idk if i can sit through the actual reminiscence story#rly like steampunk museum though its just nice!! the ending was :]]]#knights slowly growing on me too next time theres an opportunity i might cosplay as one of them#i think i have a bad habit of making one sentence personal posts and then writing a dozen tags. i will not change this#too embarrassed to make actual coherent posts so talking in the tags >>>>>>>>>#back to agonizing over schoolwork i guess
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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...
#uuuuugh... i spend all day writing a stupid report that i dont Even kno if im wrting right#idk if im alloud to use figures idk what the deadline is. just: hey can u write abt this data? fucking sure i guess#and im not even done yet. but tonight i have to finish deconstructing and rebuilding my statement of purpose and working on my application#which is also gonna suck. but my mum says im a good writing. and then 2 sec later she was like well ur a good bullshitter. and im like lmao#thanks i guess. i think she means im good at justifying things#but its gonna b a long night. i dont actually have to finish these things tonight. its literally just my brain like: do it now or else >:-(#my boss: hope youve recharched after the sampling! me: fucking ???? was i supposed to? i just fell face first into writing instead#and i got invited to carve pumpkins tomorrow. i wasnt gonna bc ive got 3 phd interviews to prep for next week and i gotta read like a#million papers. but then today one of the other ppl texted me like: hey r u going? it would b cool if u did! i can drive u#and im like 😭 i have a friend?! so i told myself if i finish my application bullshit i can go. but again its gonna b a long night#i dont have a pumpkin tho. and i dont wanna get one. or deal with a rotting pumpking later#maybe ill just b a freak and bring a lump of clay. sculpt something as they carve. that would b a weird fucking move but like i also dont#really care. id rather play with clay than carve a pumpkin tbh#ugh. will i ever find the time to draw? maybe not. maybe ill just lay here and cry bleh#im glad that my friend reached out to me tho. that was super sweet. ive literally only hung out with her once sampling but we immediately#overshared bc it was one of those like connecting to another person probably on the spectrum things. all the interesting ppl i talk to prob#have adhd lmao. they have like exacly the opposite problems i do so i think their brians r so interesting. i mean my probs r the same but#diff. idk how to describe it. im too rigid and compulsive but also big executive function probs. im stuck somewhere between ocd and autism#lmao. or ocpd. probably definitely ocpd. hhhhhhhhh gotta love it#im just a compulsive lil goldfish swimming around and around in circles#brain wont even let me go home for Thanksgiving. annoying#and infantilizing bc i cant drive or do normal things for myself. sigh...#unrelated
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earl-grey-love · 2 years
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Also last weeks episode of bc///s gave me some seriously juicy things to think about 👀 (spoilers in the tags!!)
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rewatching the final fantasy Distant Worlds ep of 8bbc and i would absolutly kill to see a video of emily’s walk down the aisle to Maria and Draco’s opera at her and Murphs wedding. it sounds so cute omfg.
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