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lostinbooks14 · 9 months

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Times in the Wilderness

Leo comes to the Wilderness School

Leo had his head down in the car, his face buried in the paper bag in his hands as he tried to keep himself from vomiting.

Goddammit he hated cars. He hated wherever he was going too. And the stupid court for saying he had to go there. And all his stupid foster parents and his stupid Tìa and his stupid fire curse and his stupid self for ruining everything.

"Leo," his social worker sitting next to him called sharply. She was middle-aged. Probably in her late forties, with light brown hair pulled back in a bun. She was about his height, but he couldn't really tell because of her heels. She was wearing a frilly green blouse and black tight skirt. He thought she was trying too hard.

She'd been really nice to him the first few times they met, but eventually she'd given up. He couldn't blame her. He'd been in eight foster homes and orphanages in the last five years, run away from six of them- her patience was probably wearing thin.

When they caught him five days after he ran away from his eighth home, he'd been taken to court. They said they'd put him in a mental hospital if he ran away again. And he'd overheard his social worker saying she'd be fired if he didn't find a home soon.

"Leo, are you even listening to me?"

"Sorry, m'am," he mumbled, glancing up from the paper bag for a split second.

"Look, kid, I don't know why you keep running-"

"I told you he-"

She ignored him just like everyone else did, "But I need you to stay put this time, ok? My job's on the line here. I've got a kid who's college fees I need to afford, and another who's getting married soon."

"What if someone hurts me?" He mumbled, tears stinging the back of his eyes. Everything was happening way too fast.

"This is a school for children like you," he knew what that meant, delinquents "Teachers are always on the lookout for any signs of bullying. You'll be fine."

He didn't say anything, what was there left to say anyway? She always said he'll be fine everytime he was taken to a new home. He never was.

They'd finished going over the bumpy roads now, he could see the school just up ahead.

It was just a normal building, victorian style, no barbed wire fences or barred windows. Appearances can be deceiving, he knew that better than anyone. But no bars was good. He would've gone insane if he'd been locked behind bars, especially after that incident.

OK, he was not going to think about that.

Or about where they were taken to after it.

Or about what happened when they ran away.

Or about where he was taken to after it.

Yup, he could do this. Totally.

"Leo, we're here."

He got out, leaning on the door of the car for a few seconds to get the puke taste out of his mouth before taking his backpack. It was blue and worn and held every possession he had left. It had been with him for six years now. It was probably his best friend at this point.

A smiling man met them at the door. "Hello, you must be Leo and Mrs.Patroner. I'm Mr.Donovan, head teacher here. We're very delighted to have you here." Somehow Leo doubted it, he could clearly see the sweat on his bald head. "Let's go talk in my office, shall we?"

The school looked old, he supposed it would've looked grand if it weren't for the dirt and mud splatters on the carpet. There were high ceilings and steep wooden stairs curving up eight stories. He couldn't see any machines anywhere, not even a lift. He really hoped the dorms weren't at the top. The thing that caught his eye, though, was the fireplace.

He shrank back from the golden flames involuntarily. They were dancing and licking at the wooden logs, and Leo felt that familiar tugging sensation in his gut. It always appeared when he was close to flames, as if they were calling out to him. Begging him to make them hotter and brighter and stronger. Leo turned away.

"Leo Valdez, yes? You've got quite the resume here," the man laughed nervously. "So, uhm, you'll be boarding with four other boys-"

"Couldn't he have a private room?" Mrs.Patroner interrupted, glancing at him nervously. "He's had a bit of a rough time over the past year," Wow understatement of the year- "so it's probably better if he could stay alone?"

Mr.Donovan looked confused. "Why?"

Mrs.Patroner looked uncomfortable so he spoke up.

"I'm a psycho, sir. I have violent tendencies. Killed a bunch o' people last year," he nodded at his file, forcing himself to keep his voice steady. It'd be worth it if he could get a room alone. He didn't want to talk to anyone any more than he had to. He pretended to count on his fingers, as if their faces hadn't been haunting his nightmares for weeks "Like three, right?"

"He didn't do it on purpose!" his social worker cried, glaring daggers at him. "And the term psycho is very strong, Leo. You can't just throw it around."

"Just saying what you were thinking, m'am," he shrugged.

"Well, uhm, I'm sorry, miss," the head teacher started, choosing to just ignore him. That was fine with him. "You need to pay extra for private quarters. As for the therapy sessions the court ordered, he will have two per week to start with. Ms.Loraine is very nice. Leo can talk with her after you leave. Get his school schedule and all that. Afterwards he'll be assigned a student to show him around. I'm thinking Piper McLean, she's here because of her tendency to steal, but other than that, she's a very sweet child. He'll be getting his uniform and books from the school of course. And he's been assigned to Year 10, though he should be in Year 7, since he's still twelve. I must say he's got an excellent mind."

"Got that from my pops," he grinned, Mrs.Patroner looked at him wearily. "He was mighty good at running away too ya know. Took off three days after I popped out, or so I heard."

Thankfully a knock on the door prevented anyone from reacting.

"That must be Ms.Loraine. Come in!"

A lady came in, dressed in a nice beige coloured business suit with her golden shoulder length hair curling around her shoulders. She wore a white shirt under her coat, a gold chain encircling her throat. Her eyes were large and green. She looked young. Leo bet all his money- well he would've if he had any- that guys went to therapy just to stare at her.

"Good afternoon! I'm the school therapist. You must be Leo."

His social work gave an encouraging nod.

"Yes, miss."

"Come with me to my office? I'll talk you over the school rules, the subjects you'll be taking, and about your mental health for about an hour. After that classes will end and Piper will meet you at my office."

"Sure. See ya m'am," Leo gave a mock salute and practically ran out the door.

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eclipsedrgn · 10 months

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𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑨𝒓𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝑩𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑳𝒆𝒇𝒕 𝑩𝒆𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒅

(y/n) befriended the turtles along with her best friend ren. she didn't have anything to offer the family of ninjas, except her friendship and love. and when she realizes she's just pulling them back, she decided to take it to her own hands.

rottmnt!leo x fem!reader

⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇

⋇⊶⊰❣⊱⊷⋇

It wasn't until you notice they started acting differently around you when you had a feeling they're starting to pull apart. All four turtles, each in their own unique way, rejected you. Either hanging out, or eating out to even going on patrol together. You didn't exactly offer a lot on the table if you were being honest. You were just the lucky girl who they rescued, and somehow became part of this mischivious family.

Mikey became your closest friend, you two were too much a like whether it was being completely naive to the world to being the most childish person of the group. The two of you never felt judged by one another.

Donnie, embarrissingly, became your buddy when it came to doing your homework. You did all the work of course, you hated cheating but Donnie was the one looking over your shoulder half of the time telling you from right and wrong.

Raph was coincidentally your therapist, although you mostly smile around the turtles, Raph knew the signs of depression and anxiety, most importantly anger. He saw how much anger you hold within yourself that he took upon himself to help you.

Leonardo...

To you, in your eyes, he was everything. He was the perfect turtle for you and could not stop yourself for falling in love with him. He was your everything, you were willing to even make yourself unhappy just to get his attention...

But you knew with the way he looks at Karai, it wouldn't happen.

You guess it was probably the way you let yourself loose. You ate too much pizza with Mikey, you barely exercise, or maybe how you just chilled on the couch for the longest time. The turtles noticed.

But they did not care.

And that's how you ended up in this situation, hiding behind the walls of the kitchen eavesdropping the turtle's conversation about you. Worst of all, your best friend Ren just sat there listening to them, though you didn't see her face, she was devastated that the turtles thought of you this way.

"Come on Leo, are we seriously letting this girl stay with us?" Raphael states with an annoyed tone. "She has done nothing but sit here with her thumbs up her nose"

Was all the times you come to Raph about your problems fake? Did you complain too much?

"We can't just kick her out Raph-" Donatello started but was interrupted.

"We can and we will. She eats all the food, she plays all the games while we're up there risking our lives" Raph complains.

"Dude... she's my best friend" Mikey muttered, nobody heard.

"She doesn't bring anything to the table! April does the news, Casey's a police officer- hell even Ren brings us notices about the Foot. (Y/N) does nothing" Raph says.

You are nothing.

A burden.

Leo shook his head, the warm feeling at the thought of you turned guilt, anger, confused. He knew his brothers were right. You didn't bring much to the table. But how can he kick out the only person who brought joy and compassion, no matter what the atmosphere of the lair is.

You clench both of your fists as tears stream down your face, you covered your mouth with both hands as another sob was coming. Leo barely stood up for you, Donnie barely stood up for you and Mikey... all he did was sat in silence. You wiped your face with your hands, getting rid of signs you were crying and came out of the kitchen with a smile on your face.

"Hey guys, I'm headed out for some pizza. Want anything?" you asked.

"J-Just some Hawaiian dudette" Mikey says with an unsure look on his face.

You smiled, "Sure Mikestar, I'll be back in a few"

"At least she brings us food" you hear Raphael scoff as you walk further from the lair.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

You barely looked where you were headed, you were just walking aimlessly for the past 20 minutes since you left. The depression was getting worst, your anxiety is off the roof and the fact the only people who truly liked you has been faking all this time...

You sighed as you yelp when you bumped into something... soft? You opened your (e/c) eyes seeing the father of the four turtles. You forgot Splinter likes to take walks around the sewer twice a day, curing boredom he said when you asked him once.

"My child, were you crying?" Splinter asks.

You sniffled and shook your head, "Allergies, Sensei"

"I can tell in your eyes you are lying. Tell me, what's going on?"

And so you did.

You snitched.

You told him how the turtles hurt you. How they didn't know you've listened to their cruel words.

The look on Splinter's eyes slowly dimmed, his sons, were not nice towards you?

"I'm gonna leave" you decided, Splinter looks up surprised you even claimed such decision. "I can't spend the rest of my life being a burden to everyone. I need a change of pace, I need to leave New York City"

Splinter sighs, "I cannot change your mind. But I do have an offer for you. My Master Yoshi has a friend in Japan called the Ancient One, fly there and tell him Splinter sent you. Tell him your desire to change, he will help you"

Your eyes became misty as tears started to gather, you hugged Splinter tightly and then came up with a plan. The turtles need to know how much you've been hurting, you became a little bit of a bad person.

That night you came back home, calling your tech friend to fake a news, hacking into the lair's tech and played the news.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

"We interrupt this program for some breaking news."

Leo paused sharpening his katana as the news blared on, Raph paused his benching, Donnie came out of his lab and Mikey stared blankly at the TV.

"(Y/N) (L/n) was found dead in her apartment at 21:34, her cause of death is currently unknown."

"No" Leo gasps his eyes widening, the brothers followed, Mikey gagged sprinting towards the bathroom. Leo watches at the apartment building you once live in, burst into flames, the firefighters rushing to put it out.

"Firefighters rush to stop the fire but it is all too late. The body was found with burned beyond recognition and the police have ordered an autopsy... Stay tune for further news"

"She never came back" Mikey croaked, leaning against the door frame. "She went out for pizza and never came back"

"S-She must've went to get more money, went home and then boom" Donnie says rushing towards his computers for answers.

Leo slammed his katana against the ground he was sitting on so hard, it broke into two pieces. He stood facing his hotheaded brother with a menacing look in his eyes.

"Are you happy now?" Leo sharply asked. "You asked for her gone right! You told us, to kick her out right! Well here you go Raphael. She's gone. For good"

"I-I never meant-"

"You knew she was depressed, you knew she fighting on... Raph, you have no idea!" Leo yells.

"BOYS!" the four flinch at their father's tone.

Splinter...

What're they going to tell him?

"What is going on here?" Splinter demands.

"(Y/N)'s dead" Mikey says voice cracking as the tears finally streamed down his face. "She's dead and its all our fault"

"Mikey..." Donnie says comforting his baby brother. "We should've helped sensei... but we... we didn't"

"5 times" Leo says confusing the others. "I saved her 5 times and this time, I couldn't"

"Leonardo..." Splinter sadly said.

Leo shook his head and walked away, the others slowly went their own way to grieve.

Splinter stood there with one though, he hopes you know what you need to do.

#bayverse tmnt x reader #tmnt x reader #tmnt #tmnt raphael #tmnt 2018 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt au #crossover

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third-arch · 4 months

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My Trafalgar Law HC’s!! pt.12✨✨

Trigger Warning: Mention of Self Harm at the end

His current favorite song that he’s been listening to is Drew Barrymore by SZA. He likes all of SZA’s works imo.

His top 10 favorite Beatles songs in no particular order are as follows:

- In My Life

- Dear Prudence

- Come Together

- Eleanor Rigby

- For No One

- While My Guitar Gently Weeps

- I Want You (She’s So Heavy)

- Nowhere Man

- Drive My Car

- Glass Onion

He sits in the very front of the classroom. He sits in the very back when he’s overwhelmed or depressed.

If his zodiac sign could be anything, it would either be Leo or Libra.

Appearance wise, I like to think that he has a more tough, rugged appearance, with a slightly crooked nose and darker, tan skin.

Compared to his short, straight L-shaped nose in the anime and chiseled appearance, I think the best way I’d describe him is “tired”.

He also has beauty marks scattered around his face.

Dark circles drag under his eyes and line around his nose occasionally.

He also might sometimes wear black eyeliner.

Lastly, I don’t think he has any white spots on his face.

Oh, and he has hairy arms and legs, with some chest hair (maybe).

The edges of his black dress shoes are scuffed. He gets them polished and repaired each by Shachi or Ikkaku.

He hates being compared to animals. It makes him feel disrespected and weak.

(When I mean this, I mean in a non affectionate way. Like a joking or platonic way, kinda like how he was compared to a hyena.)

Not really a HC, but he has dimples.

(Look!! He’s so pretty!!)

I like to think that his blue coat say a lot about his character and his past. It could be a statement of individuality while still holding on and honoring what’s dear to him. Freedom I suppose.

This idea also relates to him having a slick and mature yet comfortable style of clothing.

For this reason, he might definitely wear leather jackets and fine tailored suits, but nothing too showy. Just lowkey, minimal, yet stylish and free.

In a group project, he’s a divider and conqueror.

In partnership with projects, he used to take the lead and do all the work, but he’s gotten better at being an equal (he still does most of the work LOL)

For him, Vinyls>CD’s.

TW: Self harm

Law has self harm scars. I like to think that they’re well hidden.

If he ever sees them on his partner during intimate moments, he’ll kiss them.

In less intimate settings, he’ll rub his thumb in small, gentle circles over each laceration and bump.

He’ll never really talk about them or say anything if anyone notices them.

#one piece #op #trafalgar law #one piece art #trafalgar one piece #trafalgardwaterlaw #trafalgar d law x reader #op imagines #my trafalgar law hc's!!#my trafalgar law hc’s!!#law x reader

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imashoe69420 · 10 months

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Hello! I'm having a bit of a rough time so I thought I'd send this ask. What would the turtles be like with a S/O that has anxiety, depression and PTSD? How would they help them if their depression is bad enough that on some days they can't get out of bed, forget to eat, etc? Bonus if S/O is plus-sized/kinda chubby and insecure about it.

So since I’m doing all the boys, each mental illness/self-image issue will be separated by turtle. I hope that’s okay!

The reader’s symptoms are also closely aligned with my own as well as outside research. If you feel that something could be more accurate, let me know! :)

===================================

Rise!Bros X Reader Headcannons★彡

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Relationships: Dating

Pronouns: Gender Neutral (They/Them)

Timeline: Post Movie

Warnings ⚠️: Language, Mental Heath Issues, Brief Mention of Medication (Mikey)

===================================

Leo // PTSD

• Leo would be the first the know how to deal with PTSD.

• Well, not necessarily know, but empathize with you because of his time in the prison dimension.

• Both of you had vivid nightmares, so most nights, you two would stay awake together.

• The first time this happened, Leo caught you with your head in the refrigerator picking at some leftovers:

• “Nightmares?” The blue turtle asked, sleep lacing his voice.

• “Nightmares.” You nodded.

• You two finished some leftover spaghetti, then trudged back to Leo’s room, spending the rest of the night under the covers watching TNTL videos.

• This became a normal occurrence, talks eventually getting deeper:

• “It’s just… I feel so stupid sometimes. It happened years ago. Why do I still think about it almost every day?” You sighed as you laid on the blue clad turtle’s plastron.

• Leo shrugged. “I dunno, it’s more annoying than traumatic now.”

• There’s a pause when Leo took your hand in his own.

• “But I don’t think you’re stupid for it.”

• You smiled as he rubbed his hand over your knuckles.

• “Thanks, Lee.”

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Raph // Anxiety

• Being the oldest in the family causes a lot of anxiety, especially in the Hamato household.

• You were also stressed being the oldest sibling as well. One of your siblings was in the hospital, and although it was just for a broken leg, it had you worried.

• Sleeping was a battle. One night, you were in the lair in Raph’s room.

• You slowly watched the clock tick by.

• 11PM… 12PM… 1PM.

• And you were still tossing and turning.

• Eventually, you started to think about your sibling and if it was right for you to be with your boyfriend rather than being in the hospital with them.

• It didn’t take long for the tears to start flowing as you had convinced yourself that you were a bad sibling.

• The snapping turtle eventually noticed your sadness and sleepily asked you what was wrong.

• “I should be with them, not here.” You said tearfully. “What if something happens? What if they dropped the remote to contact the nurse? What if—”

• “(Y/N), (Y/N)… don’t worry so much. They’re gonna be fine.” Raph tried to quell your anxiety.

• “But what if—”

• “Ya’ can’t live a life on ‘what if’s, (Y/N).” He interrupted you, speaking gently. “I know how you feel. You think I’m never worried about these knuckle heads? Ya’ just gotta trust them and the doctors.”

• You pushed your hair back from your face and sighed. “I… I know. It’s just…”

• “I know.”

• Raph scooped you in his arms and held you close. “You don’t have to explain. Just try to rest so you can see them tomorrow.”

• You snuggled up against him, attempting to hold back your tears. “Okay… I’ll try. Thank you. Really.”

• “What’re big siblings for?” He said sarcastically before you both eventually fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mikey // Depression

• Despite being medicated, there were moments when you would have a depressive episode.

• This consisted of staying at home, ignoring texts to hang out, not showering for days at a time, and overeating while watching a random Netflix Original.

• Mikey respected that you sometimes needed time away, although he was naturally clingy.

• After about three days, he’ll come visit you.

• It’s always a gamble with you. You either let him in graciously, or simply act like he’s not there.

• When you would let him in, he would bring snacks and DVDs of your favorite movies.

• Most of the time, you two would huddle under a blanket and watch those DVDs for hours.

• Other times, he would beckon you to come outside. And when you obliged, you two usually had a good time exploring New York and the Hidden City.

• When you were out of your funk, you were back to being physically affectionate.

• You were always grateful for your little orange weirdo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Donnie // Plus Size

• Donnie never quite understood people’s hate for plus sized bodies, nor did he understand your misplaced desire to be skinnier.

• Your insecurities really stood out when you guys would go out or on dates.

• “We’ve been walking for a while. Are you hungry?” Donnie asked you as the two of you walked the streets of New York City.

• “I mean… are you hungry?” You asked bashfully.

• Donnie shrugged. “Not especially.”

• You shook your head. “I’m good, then.”

• It took Donnie a couple of minutes to become curious as to why you only wanted to eat when he was eating.

• “Why didn’t you want to eat?” He asked out of the blue.

• You sighed and shook your head again. “It’s nothing, Dee.”

• “No,” the purple clad turtle stopped walking, “I wanna know.”

• “Well… I dunno, it’s embarrassing.” You thought about how to formulate your words to help him understand. “When people see us eating together, they’ll just think that we’re hungry. But when I’m the only one eating…”

• Your words trailed off, and it took Donnie several seconds to finally understand what you’d meant.

• “That’s nonsense.”

• “Yeah, well, that’s how people will see us: a guy and his fatass girlfriend.”

• To say the turtle was angry at the absurdity of the world’s mentality on plus sized people was an understatement.

• He quickly took hold of your hand and pulled you back to the hotdog stand you’d just passed.

• “Two plain hotdogs, please. And some ketchup on the side.” Donnie told the vendor.

• He had really meant that he wasn’t hungry and only ended up finishing about half of the hotdog, but your comfortability meant more to him.

• After the meal, you started walking again before you took hold of Donnie’s bicep.

• “I really appreciate that, babe. I mean it.” You rested your head on his shoulder.

• The turtle leaned his head so it was on top of yours. “Anything for you.”

#rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leo #rottmnt fluff #rottmnt raph #rottmnt reader insert #rise leo #rottmnt leo x reader #rise donnie #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt x reader #rise tmnt x reader

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astrojoy · 2 years

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Strangers Impression Of You ☺︎

PAC

Pile 1

Emotional. You have a forgiving energy. A lot of people here may be on their phone in public a lot? Like when your waiting you may be on your phone? Strangers notice your emotional nature, it basically gleams off of you. Lots of water energy in this pile. I'm getting some guiding vibes from you guys, natural leader energy. Strangers think you're body looks nice. Nice legs. You guys seem to be busy or on the move often. You give off a romantic/poetic kinda pisces vibe to strangers. I keep getting an image of gleaming eyes. Some of you guys have nice teeth (random). Strangers notice pretty much all of you have been through a tough time. Like it leaks from your being. A lot of people here have social/general anxiety, depression or some form of paranoia in general or in public. Cautious people. Over-worrying. You guys remind me of someone pacing back and forth, thinking of the worst possibilities that could happen. When a stranger talks to you, it seems you mask some of these darker traits with a carefree nature. They love this lightheartedness about you. Now there's also a group here that generally doesn't travel alone. Like some here are with a significant romantic partner most of the time. I keep seeing red roses. Some Gemini placements are here, or a significant 3rd house

Pile 2

Mysterious. I'm getting a lot of foggy energy that strangers see with you. People can't quite pinpoint certain things about you, creating disoriented beliefs that may not be at all true (like they assume some things that are probably opposite of you?) It's bizarre but some people become suspicious of you 😅 Have you ever been closely watched? Also in stores? Whether that part resonated or not, you are my mysterious group. There's like a distance between the real you and people's impression of you. You confuse people. A lot here give off a regal vibe wherever you go. Commanding an audience. Sensual. There's a lot of people here with a darker complexion or darker hair. I'm getting a lot of feminine energy. Strangers think you look quite youthful. I have a contrast of clothing, like some here wear dark clothes while others wear vibrant colors. Maybe you switch it up? Some people may think you guys are religious or hold some type of moral standards. "Over-indulgent". This group likes material things, I guess it's noticable :3 Comforting vibes, you make people feel cozy. Haha some of you give off sweet puppy energy (or you could walk your dog a lot 👁👁) Random, someone here wears boot wedges? Idk what they're called lmao. Your energy holds desire. Taurus, Scorpio, Leo, Libra placements are here (possibly aquarius)

The 2nd song I put here because of the way she sings and the rhythm in the background, it's a kind of vibe I felt strangers get from you guys

Pile 3

Healing. Within this pile I got a lot about 'acts of service' helping people if they need it. You take care of others emotionally or physically. This nurturing quality about you stands out. For very few of you this could indicate you may need healing, possibly handicapped (ex: broke your arm or something). Some people may think you have some free time or something? Even if you are busy I'm getting some strangers may thing you don't have anywhere to be and you're just passing time. Some of you have a cold vibe at times as well. I'm getting some 'justice' energy too. Some strangers get a two-faced vibe from some of ya, maybe it's not on purpose? "She/He seems fake" misunderstood libra energy. Like sometimes you have a RB face and then strangers get surprised when they see you actually being quite nice and helpful. Strangers may notice how you have a nice nose. Some of you have nice nails. Also there's a lot of shorter people in this pile. Some strangers may get jealous of you guys, it's because you look kept-together even if you aren't. Some strangers think you look materially stable. There's a lot of people here who may carry around a bag/backpack/purse. I got the image of a sleeve tattoo (idk why). Sagittarius energy. Some here look foreign. Some people look at you but may try to hide that? If you are foreign and in a new country I'm getting strangers may think you are looking for work in this new place. "I'm nice but don't F with me" feeling. Recap - Libra, Sagittarius, Virgo, Capricorn. The color yellow came through

Pile 4

Softcore/Cottagecore. I'm getting floral vibes, do some of you like flowers? Strangers see you as quite sweet, open, carefree and confident. You have a lighthearted energy here. it's giving me youthful vibes. Strangers may notice you have a stable financial situation. You may appeared protective. A lucky vibe too. You guys have secret admirers. I'm getting a heartbreaker vibe? Like flirtatious but not on purpose. Strangers may back off for fear of a love offer getting turned down. AWW I got my bunny and carrot cards. Maybe you guys have an Innocent air around you. People seem to love your soft and fun nature. Colorful. A select few of you could have a big family or some kids. Strangers see you as wise, an old soul. Someone here may be a fair man. Like some of ya have a fair complexion (blonde/grey hair, lighter skin than usual). Peaceful. Friendly vibes. Some here have long hair. People may see you as an opposite to them, assuming you guys may not get along. You guys may have humanitarian energy. Some of you could be vegan or vegetarian as well (or just healthy in some way). Think of valleys with flower patches, a waterfall, unicorns and fairies all around. Very fluffy cutesy energy. Fire energy came out A LOT as well. Earth energy. Do you guys like nature too? I got a lot of greenery here. People may find you funny at times, witty. I feel so giddy and childlike rn. Don't let anyone ruin this energy I love this pile so much 🥺. Idk what zodiac to give you guys because I mainly got fire with a side of earth energy. I guess Aquarius and Pisces could be significant as well :)

I RAN OUT OF SPACE SO I'M GOING TO LIST YOURS SONGS MYSELF I'M SORRY ⚠️🫂

"Wait A Minute!" - WILLOW

"East Of Eden" - Zella Day

#Spotify #tarot #pac tarot #tarot pac #tarot pick a card #pick a card tarot #pick a card reading #pick a card readings #tarotblr #tarot community #tarotcommunity #pac reading #pac readings #tarotdaily #tarot readings

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exhaustedwriterartist · 3 months

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Disaster Twins Separated AU (now called Our Other Halves)

Gasp! I have done it. I have put enough of my sanity into the concept to feel confident in posting this (it has only been a little over a week and this has already started to have a hold on the creative part of my brain). I am sure someone else has thought of something similar, but this is my take on this kind of au.

Here is some beginning stage concept art for Leo and Donnie:

Main design.

Other important designs.

So there are some modified features, and yes I know, Leo does indeed have eyebrows, the horror, I know. But when I had the idea to do that I couldn't stop laughing to myself. (aaannddd possibly some other things with Leo's design [and something with Donnie's], but that's spoilers).

There may be somethings I further modify, but that'll be later.

I'll work on Raph, Mikey, and April's designs later this month. (I'm a little too busy to work on any other projects atm).

So here are the key features of this separated au under the cut (because this is kind of long):

These ideas are not in order whatsoever. This is just how my brain spouted these out. Also please keep in mind that I just came up with this, and some things may change in little or drastic ways later on. (Some of these things are a little outdated now)

Donatello and Leonardo were the only turtles who were able to be saved by Master Splinter when Draxum's lab exploded.

Poor Splinter, he is so stressed and depressed.

Raphael and Michelangelo were raised by Big Mama. They are both raised to be fighters in the Battle Nexus and to be their Mama's "little gentleman." The relationship between them and Big Mama is... iffy. More on this later.

I think that Leo and Donatello are definitely closer in this au and would have been more attached to April. So not only is there disaster twins but a disaster trio.

Donatello is the oldest twin in this au and also the most protective and defensive sibling, especially when Raph and Mikey come into the picture.

This doesn't mean Leo is not as protective or as caring of Don. He cares a lot about his twin brother, and will defend his brother and his honor to the death, but when [REDACTED] occurred, Don became extremely protective of Leo. Leo does not mind this, as [REDACTED] left a huge impact on him (as it did for Don as well, but he does his best to hide that [Leo knows though]).

While they are caring and everything, they are also twin brothers who love to mess with each other and compete with one another.

Leo is still the face guy and the family medic, but because it was just him and Don, he took more of an interest in his brother's science projects. He has more understanding of different science concepts than Rise! Leo, but it is still nowhere near Donatello's level of understanding. Donnie has a place in his lab for Leo to tinker with random and often silly projects. They also work on new gadgets and gizmos together. The two often infodump to each other and to April.

They are the biggest Jupiter Jim Fans you will ever meet. They may or may not have pulled a few strings and made a few gadgets in JJ's honor.

Raph and Mikey are not willing at first to leave Big Mama to go with Leo and Don, and they have a hard time accepting that they are related to these twins who cause so much chaos whenever they're around. They also distrust most humans (Lou Jitsu being the main exception), so the fact that Leo and Don have a human friend (who is basically a sister to them) does not help. All four brothers start to want the other two sibling to join them after while though... After some events.

Leo and Don want Raph and Mikey to come back to the family, though each struggles with their own intrusive thoughts of how it would change things. The same sort of things start to occur for Raph and Mikey. More on this later.

Donatello is technically the leader. While I think that he would be a great leader to full-time lead both Leo and April, I also believe that Don would co-lead with Leo. They would talk about each other's ideas, discuss, argue, and come up with solutions together. I'll have more on this particular topic later when I contemplate this more. (And binge watch the series again for research.)

When the four brothers are finally reunited, Donnie is still the *technical* leader, and he does his best to understand what his long lost brothers had gone through. (Yes, Don has a harder time than Leo at processing other's complex emotions, but that does not mean he cannot understand them! It just takes a longer time for him to process and find the proper response to assist his bros.)

So that's basically all the stuff I feel I need to share to start this off! Of course this isn't everything and I definitely need to delve deeper into some of my ideas, but some of the things I would like to share would be major spoilers for some of the thing I've changed or added (which is why some things are redacted). I realize I haven't really mentioned Draxum, but he's there... OH BOY IS HE THERE. There is also 2 characters from the show that will be in this au off an on that I want to mention but that's spoilers. :)

There are also some silly little things I have ideas for that I may share later next week, but this is already a lot of information. (Thank you for reading this far.)

One thing I would like to mention is that a lot of the twin aspects of Leo and Don are inspired by a pair of twins in my own family.

I am so excited to dive into this some more! I fully intend on making a comic of this au, it just may take a bit of time to write out a general out line for the comic because of my responsibilities and the need for sleep.

I would love to hear feedback from all of you, and if you all even like this idea for an au, along with if you have questions about the au (or in general), please feel free to ask me!

There is one thing I'm not sure on right now, and that's a name for this AU. I have something temporary, but I don't know how I feel about it.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. I shall come back later in the month with more stuff for this au and in general. Thank you again for reading this far. <3

Have a good day or night.

#tmnt fandom #rottmnt #exhausted's art #separated au #rottmnt disaster twins #rottmnt au #exhausted's half awake jumbles #rottmnt april #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt raph #Oh my gosh this is so fun to make #But I struggled with motivation to keep working on this for this past week.#There is so much I want to share will all of you #But I don't want to overwhelm anyone or myself.#so hopefully I will be able to make a consistent schedule to work on this and other projects.#That won't be for a little while though.#our other halves

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queennai714 · 1 year

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One thing in rottmnt that will always be hilarious to me (even if it is kinda sad) is the fact that, while all the boys deal with Splinter's neglect differently, Leo just resorts to collecting parental figures like fvcking Pokémon. Like, Raph got parentified, Donnie is constantly seeking validation, Mikey takes on the role of being the one to hold the family together, meanwhile Leo meets Hueso, Big Mama, Marcus Moncrief and Tim Dunkman (both of which he admits to seeing as father figures since before he met them), Karai (sure she's already family but you can tell he got really attached in a really short time), and I've even seen people saying that he probably sees Raph as more of a father figure than Splinter. Idk its just fun to think about for me (even if its kinda depressing when you think about it too long)

#Ig Baron Draxum counts too but Leo still really doesnt like him #Also #I know the Big Mama one is technically a hc but its one that I DARE YOU to TRY prying from my cold dead hands #rottmnt hcs #rottmnt #angst?#rottmnt leo

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mayonakano-archive · 2 years

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Whoaa much enstars lore... and ruri is adorable wait ... also are there canon aliens in enstars??

Tell me more about leo's depression travel arc/alien abduction if you'd like ? I'm fascinated, he's just. He's justa. Liddle guy<3

OH YEAH RURI IS IMPLIED TO BE AN ALIEN AND THE ONE THAT PUT ENGIRLS INTO A TIMELOOP (Uhm, hold on *shuffling papers* okay! Strap in Kippy beloved, this is gonna take a bit!)

Okay. let me explain that whole "EnGirl is a timeloop thing". actually that's about all i know. Ruri (I think?) is implied to A) be an Alien and B) Have put the EnGirls timeline into a loop so it never ends. Why? Idk. I don't know much about EnGirls. Also EnGirls takes place at the same time as Enstars !!-Era so some people speculate !! is also stuck in a timeloop by virtue of that, since the two DO cross over with Ruka/Leo and Suzu/Mika being related.

Anyway! Onto the shut-in Leo arc aka my favorite Leo arc bc he's SUCH a fucked up little guy. So! So!!!! Okay. Okay. I don't know your baseline knowledge so I'm gonna assume you know Nothing and explain it all. Ummmm. Readmore'd for the sake of everyone's sanity bc I go Insane(tm) about Leo. Sorry for the essay kippy i love him so much

OKAY. A story in Three Parts. Part 1: i don't actually have a name for this part its just prelude and talking about the War mostly. I go on "tangents" throughout here that mostly just add extra context to certain things. IMPORTANT NOTES: There's mentions of ANIMAL ABUSE and BLOOD. Also just a lot of SAD STUFF. Thought I'd warn you!

So! Leo! Leader of the Mega unit - [TANGENT 1: MEGA UNITS. Before Units were split up into the 2-5 (Mama is an exception) that they are now, Units were MASSIVE and guild-like. There could be hundreds of people in one unit. One of the side effects of the War was the dissolution of Mega-units] - Chess, also known as "Backgammon" or "Orthello", but when Leo was put in charge he changed it back to Chess. It's heavily implied that Eichi was behind the former leader before Leo getting ousted from his position, allowing Leo to step into the leadership position.

NOW! This is where it gets MESSY. Leo, as you might well know, is a character who loves far too hard, far too fast, and far too much. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it contributes to his downfall. Once he's put into this leadership position, it's revealed that Chess is coming apart at the seams, more or less. Many members just ride off of Chess' good name, and slack on actually being an idol. [TANGENT 2: WHO'S PART OF CHESS (That we care about)? Primarily Ritsu, Leo and Izumi! Tsukasa has NOT entered Yumenosaki yet, Ritsu slacked a lot but still did occasionally go to practice, and Arashi... Tbh I'm wishy-washy on her position but she generally doesn't go to practice or doesn't care much about the unit so while she might be part of it, I don't tend to count her at this stage. Leo is the leader, and Izumi acts as his right-hand man and protector.] So, Leo is kind of also fraying apart at the seams because Chess is falling apart and threatening to splinter into sub-units, especially once Eichi introduces the new Live system; but Leo's ultimately incapable of holding them together and they fragment. Many of these sub-units take names inspired by Chess pieces - Knight was already taken, so Izumi suggests Knights. Leo and Izumi are the founding members of Knights. Sometime around here Leo talks to one of the splinter units he's meant to fight, and offers them a deal. They can be his friend, but never use his songs again; OR they can use his songs all they'd like, but they'd throw away any chance of friendship with him they add. Everyone chose to use his songs. So. After Knights is formed, Eichi starts using Leo (and his friendship with Leo) to destroy units he doesn't care for, and to eliminate the sub-units of Chess. Under the stress of destroying people he once cared for, realizing the members of Chess - who Leo'd do anything for and loved dearly - were only using him for his songs, and his relationship with Izumi getting messy, Leo cracks.

[TANGENT 3: LEO AND EICHI. Leo and Eichi met in the hospital. Leo had broken his arm protecting the cat Little John, who resides in the archery range. Delinquents often hung out in the archery range as it was far from the school, and once day decided to terrorize Little John by shooting her with arrows and trying to burn her. Leo protects her by picking her up and running around the range to keep her away from them, but this leads to him slipping, falling, protecting Little John, and breaking his arm. It's implied the break was bad, as Madara finds him via Little John's meowing in a pool of his own blood, composing with his blood, and saying the pain gave him inspiration as he's "Never felt such pain before" (A REAL QUOTE.) - Also Leo calls Eichi "Tenshi".]

PART 2: SHUT-IN ERA

So. Under all the weight of crushing people's dreams, Izumi's pressure on him, and everything else, Leo breaks and disappears. He becomes a shut-in, forcing himself to compose because he doesn't think anyone will love him if he can't compose. It's implied that he bites his hands till they bleed when he can't compose, and he generally just stops taking care of himself. In Lionheart Izumi visits the Tsukinaga household, and Ruka ends up crying while begging Izumi to talk to Leo, which prompts Leo to come out of his room to tell Izumi off for "making Ruka cry". It's noted by Izumi at this point that Leo can barely stand and looks terrible.

[TANGENT 4: LEO AND IZUMI. Leo and Izumi have been friends for A While, I don't really know how long tbh? Since they were first years, I think? And they're extremely close. Izumi is. Not A Great Person during this whole thing, and while Leo's giving Izumi nothing but love and praise Izumi scolds him and tells him to do better. Izumi himself notes that he made a mistake by being so harsh on Leo. Izumi's actually really hard on himself for his part in Leo breaking, but Leo constantly forgives him and even says during Next Door that "[Izumi] is the only one who thinks he did anything wrong." (Might not be the exact quote, but close enough) So. Leo's entirely forgiven him and thinks him blameless.]

So. Leo just kind of... Shuts himself away. Composes, or, tries to compose. He often says that he can hear melodies in his head, and during this era especially they've disappeared, which only add to his slump. Sometime during this, Madara decides enough is enough and sends Leo travelling. It's never outright stated where Leo goes, or what he does, but he was gone for most of his Second Year, between disappearing and shutting himself in his house. It's important to note that nobody but Madara knows what happened to Leo when he disappeared. (iirc) Madara does bring Leo back to the stage at one point in Concerto, where he manages to get Leo to perform with him. Izumi, I believe, says that Madara "saved Leo" but that Knights "brought him back to the sage" but. Zuzu. Bestie. He performed with Madara first before he rejoined Knights??? Anyway.

Leo shows up again around the start of his third year, sneaking around the school and trying to get a feel for Tsukasa. Tbh I forget exactly when Ritsu properly started joining in but I think that was during the War Era, and Arashi joined in around then, too? So Knights was a 3-person, then 4-person unit for a while. Izumi, Ritsu, Arashi, and Tsukasa. Leo then challenges them to a duel - Judgement. To determine if Knights is worthy of still existing. During Judgement Leo teams up with Eichi, Nazuna, and Kuro to form a temporary unit called "Knights Killers" while Knights is made up of the aforementioned members. Knights manages to tie the Judgement, and Leo realizes that he can't dissolve Knights, as they belong to the others just as much as their his unit. So. Leo rejoins Knights. Huzzah!

PART 3: WHAT'S HE DOIN NOW?

Leo Duels Tsukasa to see if he's worthy of the crown and title of ousama when he graduates. I'm gonna be real I don't remember a lot of this story but Tsukasa does get Leo's approval in the end. So. Leo and Izumi graduate, and Tsukasa takes over as the leader of Knights. Leo and Izumi live together in Italy (after Izumi says that he needs to keep an eye on Leo) and Izumi works as Leo's "manager" to make sure he's not spreading himself too thin.

[TANGENT 5: THAT WHOLE THING. In The DF debut event that I haven't read, Leo's revealed to be taking on a bunch of solo work and spreading himself super thin. The only reason Mama gets involved is because he's concerned about Leo. After this, in Next Door, Izumi says he needs to keep an eye on Leo and make sure he's not spreading himself too thin, hence letting Leo stay with him in Italy, and becoming his 'manager'.]

#WOOF. SORRY FOR WRITING AN ENTIRE FUCKING ESSAY IN YOUR ASK KIPPY #anyway listen to Crush of Judgement if you haven't. It's Knights Killers song and it slaps SOOOOOOOOO hard!!!!!!!!!!#so uh. yeah. tbh a lot of my memory of the stories i've read have faded so!!! a slightly abridged Leo essay for you :)#wtl;dr - Leo's a fucked up little guy but he got better <3 #kippy ⚡#leo.asks!#yk what this gets main tags priviledges #leo tsukinaga #enstars

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thedawningofthehour · 1 year

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Something I just realized in the latest chapter was Leo mentioning that Donnie used to self harm? Does Draxum or Galois know/remember this? Like, did Draxum figure this out while holding Donnie captive and was like 'yup, definitely made the right decision to chain him down!' and would those memories also be adapted for Galois or did Draxum just completely erase them? Or, and this is the most likely possibility, am I reading WAY too much into this?

I wouldn't say you're reading too much into it, I just intended it to be more backstory than an immediate and prevalent theme. :P Donnie's self-harm wasn't as...I don't want to say 'as serious' as what a lot of us probably picture when we hear the phrase self-harm, because it's all serious, but it wasn't super destructive. Think a lot of scratching his arms raw, biting down on himself, grabbing hot things, etc. They were younger too, this would have been a few years before the fic begins. And honestly, it was partly autistic sensory bullshit too, I know I don't explicitly say that Donnie is autistic in the fic but he canonically is. Some of it probably started out as stimming. Leo figured it was just one of Donnie's Things at the time, but over the years and as Donnie confided in him more about his anxiety and some of his feelings that sure fit the depression symptoms on WebMD, Leo started to put the puzzle pieces together.

I'm trying to decide what I can say about the memory spell without it being a spoiler. Draxum didn't need to actively alter every memory of his-I mean, there were a few that he wanted to explicitly lay out, but for the most part he gave Donnie a set of rules and his brain rewrote itself to comply with them. He told him that Draxum was his father and that he grew up in his weird mushroom house, so that's what Galois remembers. He recalls sitting with his dad drinking tea in the kitchen? He totally does-in Draxum's kitchen, with Draxum, because that's his father and that's where he lives. He wasn't able to refute these rules but his memory contradicted them, so his brain altered his memories to make it make sense. Obviously not perfectly-so that memory of drinking tea with Draxum, Galois might remember his dad singing in Japanese-which would confuse him, because Draxum doesn't speak Japanese. (he's capable of speaking Japanese, but he has no reason to speak it conversationally at home) But even the act of questioning his memories makes him uncomfortable and eager to stop and think about something else. He's quick to blame something like seeing it on TV and getting confused, or if he pushes it enough his brain will just get rid of that tidbit because it doesn't comply with the ruleset. Less so now so long after Hypno's spell has worn off, but he will do shit like that before he ever questions the validity of his memories.

But as far as this has to do with your question, uhhhhhh...yeah, he probably sort of remembers it. But like I said, it was never a super big deal to Donnie-he got used to the pain and he never got hurt hurt, so he didn't really realize what he was doing until Leo told Splinter and Splinter got upset about it. That's actually one of the areas Galois probably feels some disconnect-Splinter, I imagine he would have been visibly upset, maybe even a few tears, being very forthright about how much it hurt to see Donnie do that to himself, but also very tender and loving when talking to him about it. Just very bare-faced emotions. Draxum...doesn't do that. He's not a 'hug and cuddle it out' kind of dad, he doesn't cry in front of people, the only 'strong' emotion he feels comfortable displaying is anger. He'd be upset, of course, but he'd consider his distress to be getting in the way of 'properly' dealing with the problem and would excuse himself until he could get his emotions under control. He'd probably sit Galois down with some internet printouts from mental health websites and do a whole debate-style argument on why it needed to stop. But like I said, Galois doesn't think about it that much, and if he did he'd probably just think it was Huginn and Muninn who got upset or something and he was just remembering it weird.

I mean, let's be real, Donnie started saying right away that he had no expectations of walking out of there. The Table was an awful thing to do to someone but it was probably the smartest thing Draxy could have done. He knew Donnie was smart enough that he'd figure out how to get himself out of a cage or any more conventional restraints-maybe he wouldn't be able to free himself, but he could do enough. Donnie started threatening suicide and it just reassured Draxum that he'd made the right decision.

#...i didn't think i had this much to say sorry #doth #doth asks #donatello #baron draxum #splinter #leonardo #i actually don't think i've tagged splinter yet #i am terrible at remembering to tag things

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princepsumbra · 5 months

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“ Leo, ” Pelleas greets the blond. “ I'm glad I could run into you today. I'm never sure given that it's a holiday and all, and I'd heard you had a big family, so... ” Was it true? Pelleas is uncertain. “ Oh! But I digress. Sorry. I know I can waste time like that. It's a habit I'm trying to break, but I'm not really sure if it'll be easy, hahaha... ”

His nervous laughter fades out, and in an effort to hide his embarrassment, he holds out the wrapped present he had prepared.

“ Anyway, this is for you for the Winter Festival. I noticed whenever I visit your office, you usually only have bitter teas prepared, so I assumed that's what you liked. Sorry if I'm wrong on that account too. ” And true to his implication, if Leo were to open the gift box, inside would be a tin of Dagda Fruit Blend. Wrapped in the box alongside the tin are homemade scones to go with it. “ I heard the tea has a unique flavor. I tried it, and I think so too... though not in a bad way, of course! But I tried to make something not sweet to go along with it... something that'd be easy enough to eat while you're doing your work. I tried to make enough so that you could share with your family just in case that rumor was right. ”

He's still not certain, but if there was one thing he had heard also...

“ I grew up very alone, but I had always heard this time of year is best spent with those you love. That a family would make it warmer. So if you feel that way, I just want to help facilitate that. Sorry if I'm being nosy, but I truly do wish the best for you, Leo. ”

"Ah, Happy Winter Festival, Pelleas," Leo returns. He casts a surreptitious glance down, hoping his attire wasn't too ruffled from his morning ride with Faustus. Beyond the odd wrinkle, nothing was amiss.

A big family. What an innocuous phrase for something so complicated. He had a big family, some time ago. Their headstones now wait and hope he'll visit more than once a year. For all his cruelty, his apparent cold-heartedness, the sight of so many headstones proclaiming no more than a handful of years lived makes his stomach turn.

He keeps his expression clear of such depressing thoughts, and accepts Pelleas' gift with a smile. "Three siblings is rather a lot."

Leo turns the gift over in his hands, mindful of the careful wrapping. The box is light, yet heavy with meaning, and he holds it closer against his chest. The young mage is observant; more than he thinks most realize.

"No apologies need be offered. Your observation is correct. Bitter teas are indeed my favorite." As if on cue, he catches a faint whiff of cranberry emanating from his gift. He'll enjoy a steaming cup later tonight, when he's holed up in his room with a book in hand.

Emerald eyes settle on Pelleas. "You bake as well? There's a talent I'll never master. Cooking--and baking--never turn out right for me. Thank you, Pelleas. Truly. I look forward to sharing some with my sister."

And there it is. The hint of deprecation, that intrinsic desire that he's somehow misstepped. Never one for physical affection, Leo almost doesn't register his hand clapping down on Pelleas' shoulder until too late. The motion is stiff, yet Leo forges onward. "Not nosey in the least. My siblings are they only family I have--we spend as much together as we are able. Xander and Elise are back home, so it will just be Camilla and I celebrating together this year."

Leo drops his hand. Clears his throat, weighing his next words. "I wish the best for you as well, Pelleas. Let's share a cup of tea together before the end of Winter Festival."

#support: pelleas #N THIS WAS SUCH A PLEASANT SURPRISE #:pleading: THANK YOU #leo/pelleas friendship my bELOVED. leo voluntarily offering info to someone????? new friendship level unlocked #one day pelleas will get the Lore tm #for now i explode :)

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bobtheacorn · 1 year

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Post something from one of your wips, but only if you want to! Hope you have a great day!

Thank u, you too! 💜 Spoilers for ‘the sky that I sleep under’ I guess bc I’m trying to bang at it again lol (can’t figure out how to put it under a readmore on mobile???? Perhaps just stupid and blind tonight lmao sorry)

—-

Mikey heaves another huge pot of water up onto the stove and clicks on the other eye. When that water gets up to a roiling boil, they add in the five pounds of noodles and Usagi is petrified they’re all going to clump together and not cook evenly.

“I suck at making noodles,” he decides to announce.

There’s a reason Hueso gave him one (1) shift in the kitchen and then never let him past the pick-up window again. That reason is because Usagi is clumsy if he’s not holding a sword and he gets easily overwhelmed in the high-stakes, fast-paced environment that is professional cooking.

He just hasn’t had a good relationship with cooking since his parents died.

(He hasn’t had a good relationship with anything, or with anyone, since his parents died, really. Not that Auntie hasn’t tried… Not that Leo and his brothers aren’t trying now…)

Staring into the pot of boiling noodles and methodically stirring them with a pair of chopsticks, Usagi is viscerally reminded of the last time he made Udon with his parents. He was barely big enough to reach the stove, even standing on the step stool. His dad had picked him up and set him on the counter. His mom shimmied her shoulders while she chopped green onions and his dad sang along with the radio, his hand propped on the counter between Usagi and the stove. Usagi remembers the way the condensation had gathered on his whiskers.

His mood has tanked.

“No worries,” Mikey chirps, “I’m great at making noodles! I’ll keep an eye on ‘em! Thanks for the help, ‘Sagi! I really - What’s wrong?”

It’s depressing to say my parents are dead and I miss them, so Usagi shrugs and says, “Nothing. Just zoned out for a minute.”

#asked #fanfic #rise #yells but like quietly haha #usagi yuichi

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axiermundi · 10 months

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youtube

Bhutan is amazing. The true ideal democratic monarchy where people truly love and are devoted to their benevolent kings. The Gross National Happiness is a genius decision that ties in with their Buddhist culture while maintaining a simple life.

I've been trying to imagine how Vril Society would be like under Leo's rule, and I think I finally found it.

(Stupidly long essay under the cut. I wrote this for myself so I don't recommend it. Unless you're absolutely bored.)

I've looked at other forms of government centered around authoritarianism and rigid societal structures, from historical empires, North Korean dictatorship, China, Japan, Vatican, cults, etc... And none of those are suitable for what I imagined for the future of Vril. I want an ideal happy world; not one with false freedom while everyone is depressed.

I really don't think a complete democracy will work for Vril Society. They originated from a fascist rule, completely isolated from the idea of a world of individual freedom and independence. But like with Bhutan's democratic monarchy, the people will simply vote for officials while still worshipping the king. Because being ruled gave them stability and order, and their king ruled with benevolence.

Leo doesn't want to be the Fuhrer because he understands that it's a supreme position with the power of cruelty in the wrong hands. He wants to be a benevolent ruler who ensures peace and happiness among his people. He would want the authority of the Fuhrer to be challenged by people if the ones after his regime will become corrupt.

Because he puts much emphasis on the people of Vril, I always thought he wants them to have the freedom they never even imagined under Karl's dictatorship. They have no wealth, no easy way of life, everything is miserable. It's a world where people have to fight in order to survive.

Just as Bhutan's throne is tied to its religion, Vril Society possibly holds their leader in the highest position. But because the Fuhrer position has been the puppet figurehead under the military commander Karl, Leo has not completely established himself as the ruler that Vril Society must follow. Still, with Karl now out of the way, they have no one else to turn to other than Leo.

A world like that cannot be sustained by democracy alone. They cannot govern themselves because they have a lot of mistrust and fear. They rely on the commands of the leader to be validated. Unlearning this will not be easy. So they still need Leo to maintain his status as a ruler.

As an isolated society, they have to cultivate each other's lives on Mars, reestablishing trust and a sense of belongingness in their community. Everyone works together as equals. Everyone will be highly educated. This public consciousness will slowly ease Vril's transition from a population of scared and insecure people to a strong community with a lot of confidence in being independent. They will know that corruption and injustice will not be tolerated. And when people see what a great supreme ruler looks like, they would not stand for anyone less than Leo.

What about crimes?

Many people were put in jail for the silliest offenses (like having a lower salute angle than required). One of the priorities in Leo's government is to investigate these cases and sort the prisoners, restoring the ones that don't deserve to be there.

What about health?

There are no animals nor insects on the moon or Mars. It's my personal speculation that there is only plant life beside the space humans. Nazis are notorious for human experimentation and eugenics. But Leo would not allow something heinous like that to continue. He urges science and medical experts to conduct experimentation on lab grown tissues to avoid the violation of human life, while ensuring accurate results that leads to a higher quality of life. I'm sure in the world of Symphogear where homunculi exist like normal people, Vril will find a way to create human flesh without the consciousness of a soul.

Can they find happiness while living in a barren planet?

Happiness is highly subjective. We live in a generous planet, hindered by corporate greed, and commit harm and violations upon each other. We challenge the peace that is our natural birth right.

We can't imagine living on Mars because we're humans who were born and raised in this abundant planet. Vril Society are not normal people. They lived on the moon for a century (in Symphogear's canon timeline) while humans on Earth (with all our riches and geniuses) are still unable to develop a spacecraft as advanced as Vril's UFO.

Their technological aesthetic designs may be outdated, but I have no doubt that they figured out a way to make Mars habitable, seeing that they've made plans to move there after their initial plan to genocide Earth. They'll find a way to restore the magnetosphere, or generate a new one. In the same tradition that the villains of Symphogear have unique powers, I'm going to assume that their version of Vril Society takes their root of the occult seriously and they possess knowledge on par with the Custodians, seeing that they lived on the moon with no problem (at least none that are any different from what Earth humans do). And I really want them to actually harness the power of Vril.

With Leo's new rules based on empathy and community building,

What I'm saying is, they will find a way. Not only because they are Vril Society. But most importantly because Chris inspired Leo to do just that. To find a way to cut into the impossible and create a miracle to protect people.

#really long essay #why do I have so many words #Vrilposting #is this how my tags are going to be forever?!?#Axier speaks #long post #Youtube

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empressofthesunwriter · 11 months

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Friendly Faces Everywhere

Codename Dovahkiin Part 2

Now that the Stick of Truth RPG is over it's time for N.K. to face the normal everyday life of South Park.

She should have known nothing in South Park is ever normal!

Day to day the craziness of this supposed quiet little mountain town she has to combat now.

Thank god, she has Tammy, Wendy, her boys, and her Social Media/Magical Girl Powers on her side.

This gonna be a wild ride!

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Chapter 9: Changes

The whole atmosphere in school sucks ass.

You wanna know why?

Jimmy Fallon ripped South Park as a whole a new imaginary asshole.

I know this from my parents who told me this at breakfast. Don’t get me wrong South Park is my home and I love a lot of these crazy ass citizens here, but I didn’t think that would hit all so much.

Even Tammy is just leaning with her head at her locker looking embarrassed down.

I purse my lips, fixing my backbag.

“You aren’t doing so hot, huh, Tam?”

“Hello N.K.”, she responds robotically. “How did it go with Heidi?”

“She broke up with me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m now together with Kenny.”

“That’s nice.”

“Someone put gum in your hair, Tammy.”

“How lovely.”

Annoyed I roll my eyes and give her a good shake.

“Earth to Tammy, join us back here. Don’t give a fuck what some dude on the television said.”

She looks at me with crazed eyes. Okay, I’m worried.

“You don’t understand, N.K., you aren’t full South Park.”

Dramatically she drapes herself over me, I hold and pet her head.

“All of America thinks now we are some stupid bigoted rednecks. All thanks to Mr. Garrison. It’s not fair! Not all are like him.”

“I know Tam, I know. Come let us go to our classroom. Don’t think so hard about it. It will stop as fast as it started.”

She mumbles something like she wants to have my confidence, while I drag her by her hand to our classroom.

On our way, I see Leo and Stan’s Gang standing in a circle looking depressed too.

My boys, besides Cartman, too?

“Well do you think it's true?”, asked Leo the other boys. “Do you think we're really bigoted country bumpkins?”

“No.”, disagress Fatass. “Hey, we are not bumpkins! Okay?! Kenny's a bumpkin!”

WHAT?!

“Well fuck you, dude!”, curse Kenny, at the same time I call: “Don’t talk to my boyfriend like that fatso! Like you are so well off!”

Surprised the boys turn to me and Tammy.

I probably look ready to swing, while Tammy just hangs on my arm.

“Boyfriend? Aren’t you with Heidi Turner, douchebag?”, wonders Cartman.

Tammy answer faster than me in an airy tone: “Heidi broke up with her, Kenny is now her beau. Why do we care about that when the whole world will think we are bumpkins!”

After this declaration from her, we all blink at Tammy.

“Tammy, are you okay?”, wants Leo to know, worried for her.

“I don’t know, are you guys?!”

“Can we please go back to how you and Heidi broke up and you are apparently dating Kenny now? How fast did this happen?”

“Oh is our little Kyle jealous? Sad that the thirsty hoe doesn’t want to suck your dick anymore?”

“GO AND DIE CARTMAN!”

“DON’T CALL MY GIRLFRIEND THIRSTY HOE FATASS OR I WILL BREAK YOUR BALLS!”

“I WILL MAKE OUT OF YOU SHISH KEBAB AND FEED IT TO THE WOLVES IN THE WOOD.”

“Lame. I made a dude eat his parents as chili.”

“WHAT?!”

“WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP!”, shouts Stan so loud at we all really stop.

Now we stare at him.

He is facepalming hard.

“So N.K. and Kenny are together, big deal. Not that we didn’t see this from a mile happening and Kyle don’t look at me like that! We should all hope together that someone can fix this mess of us been know as America’s biggest bumpkins.”

Well, I couldn’t care less, I don’t give a fuck what others thinks, but all my friends, my boyfriend, and Cartman nod.

The school bell sounds signaling it’s time to go to our classrooms.

Later, after a gruesome math class I get a message on my smartphone from Kyle.

It reads that he wants to talk to me and I should meet him at the Janitor’s closet where we had our…erm romantic moment.

I text Kenny this and tell Tammy she should grab us a table in the cafeteria before I make my way to the Janitor’s closet.

Kyle is already there waiting for me with crossed arms.

“So you choose Kenny?”, he doesn’t have time for pleasantries it seems.

I close the door behind me and sign.

“I wanted to be with Heidi and Kenny.”, I explain. “But Heidi didn’t want a polyamorous relationship so she broke up with me. So me and Kenny are dating but we are in an open relationship. Kyle if you want me as much as I want you, we can date.”

He purses his lips.

“But you would also date Kenny right?”

“Yes.”

“N.K. I know you are bi, but also polyamorous…are you sure you are this or only confused?”

“I take offense in this!”, I huff and put my hands on my hips. “I’m starting to accept this part of my sexuality too I don’t need your smartass! Do you think it’s easy to admit that?”

At least he has the gall to look ashamed and says sorry, he didn’t mean it like that.

I wave it away.

Kyle is also only ten. He may be much more mature than most of his classmates, but he isn’t like Kenny and me.

“N.K., I will be truthful to you, I like you a lot, but I don’t think I can handle you dating Kenny also.”

Yeah, I kinda had this feeling.

I try to keep my tears at bay as I tell him: “I love you, Kyle.”

The red-haired boy gasp surprised and turned adorable red.

“I love you so much, I really do. I want to be with you, but I understand you. I love Kenny also and I can’t break up with him for you. I will love you probaly for a long time and hope that one day you will maybe be part of our polycule. But I won’t force you. I will be happy as your friend also.”

With nothing more to say from me I leave the Janitor closet, leaving a pensive Kyle behind.

I meet Kenny halfway to the cafeteria.

He doesn’t need a word of me to give me a hug.

I may be taller than him, yet I feel so protected in his arms. It may sound weird but I feel like shadow tendrils also wrap around me to console me.

We stay like this for a few seconds, till I take his hand and lead him into the cafeteria.

You can’t have anything.

I learned that with Heidi.

The next days are wild.

Somehow the adults got the brilliant idea to turn Kenny’s house into the new artistic hotspot of South Park called SodoSoPa with lots of shops and restaurants.

I heard it from Kenny and saw it with my own eyes.

Currently, my boyfriend and his adorable sister are at my house.

Kenny take her to me because their father yelled at Karen for wanting ice cream and then about getting jobs and all that.

We three are sitting in my room having a Tea Party.

Kenny and I put even our Stick of Truth customs on and I gave Karen my old Cinderella costume when I was her age.

She is holding Ursa in her arms and gasps like a lady at my invented story/rumor.

“And my dears I’m not kidding you, I saw then the dashing lieutenant enter the home of the Lady Threebell!”

“Oh dear!”, gasped Karen, hugging Ursa.

Princess Kenny slaps a hand on her mouth and plays along: “Lady Threebell! Isn’t she seeing Mister James from the Newspaper?!”

“I know, it scandalous, absolute scandalous!”

We all sip our "tea" as if we have to calm down.

Suddenly we hear a knock on my door and Mamma peaks her head in.

“I’m sorry to interrupt my young ladies.”, she begins. “But dinner is ready would you like to eat with us, Kenny and Karen, dear?”

Karen looks with big eyes at her brother.

“Can we Kenny?”

I feel how Kenny wants to say no, for him it’s probaly charity, but I discreetly kick him lightly in the chin. As he looks at me offended I mouth do it for Karen she deserves a good meal, he knows he lost.

So we all follow my Mamma to the dinning table.

Papà is already there and helps each of us little ladies and Mamma to our sit.

We enjoy a nice dinner, Mamma bring even out ice cream and while my parents sit down on the couch to watch TV, we go back up my room.

Karen yawns cutely.

“Tired, Karen? Should we go home?”, ask Kenny her.

The little girl shakes her head and lay down on my bed.

“Can we stay for a while more, N.K.”, she begs me, yawing again. “Your house is so warm and smells nice and your mommy and daddy are nice.”

I totally ignore Kenny look, walking over my future sister-in-law, stroking her hair and cooing at her: “You can stay here as long as you want, Kare-Bear.”

I kiss her forehead, which makes her giggle, and hand her Ursa.

“Ursa tells me she so much wants to cuddle with you.”

She shouts happily kissing my Teddybear.

I turn to Kenny who frowns.

“Princess Kenny, a word.”

I wave him over out of my room.

Before he opens his mouth I stop him.

“Kenneth, I don’t want to hear anything about that you guys don’t need my hospitality. You are family and I will take care of you, basta!”

My boyfriend blinks and then signs.

“You would just drag my ass back here.”

“Yup.”

“Well, okay, we can’t stay for a while.”

“Good, I tell my parents you guys will be sleeping over!”

“WHAT? I didn’t-“

Too late, I’m faster and run down to tell my parents this. After they give me their okay, Kenny waits for me with crossed arms.

“You sneaky little brat.”

“Yeah, what you gonna do about that?”, I challenge him.

I get grabbed by my waist and a cheeky tongue wrestling with mine.

Kenny is such a damn good kisser. I will never get enough of it.

A while later, I can even manage to let them both take a bath in my house.

Karen was excited from alone, Kenny needed a bit of convincing.

So while Karen enjoyed her bath time, I put my mouth to good use and promised Kenny that we could bath together.

And with that ladies and gentlemen, I had him.

He never had seen me completely naked.

He very much wanted this, after I rilled him up.

So we put Karen, freshly washed and wearing one of my old P.J. in my bed and enjoyed our bath together.

Really, really enjoyed it.

It was difficult to keep quiet, not only because of Karen but also because of my parents.

They don’t know and will never know that I’m already…erm…well known in the physical aspects of a romantic relationship.

Mamma and Papà, mostly Papà, would probably faint knowing what I already did and do.

Anyways, Kenny and I look like raisins after our bath. We stayed longer in the water than planned.

I blame totally Kenny and his finger for it.

He isn’t only a good kisser, ladies and gentlemen.

Giggling like school girls we get dressed in P.J. and I compliment Kenny. He totally rocks my Hello Kitty P.J.

We step back into my room, where Karen is already asleep, and carefully get into the bed to not wake her up. She is between us.

Kenny hugs her to himself and she adorable grasps his clothes.

I wish I could make a photo.

We two whisper a bit with each other.

My boyfriend tells me that he wants to gif Karen a new doll and will search for a job to do so. I tell him what a good older brother he is and that he hopefully finds one.

As 10 year old you can’t do much.

Well, legal.

Illegal is something different.

Why I’m saying this?

Because the next day Kenny ends up working at City Wok with another seven children.

This means we can’t see each other a lot after school since he has to work. I’m okay with that, our love will not go away only because we can’t spend much time together. We still see each other at school and I phone him when I know he has a break.

In the end, Kenny manages to buy Karen her new doll and we get a Whole Foods.

The whole town makes even a commercial with it.

Well, all, but us Campo’s.

I never liked Whole Foods. I’m actually scared of this place.

Yes, I know it sounds strange, but I always freak out when we enter it in the past, so we started to avoid the Whole Foods.

My parents can be really awesome.

Anyway I watch how all enjoy the Whole Foods and I get this shiver, only this time I voice in my tells me to get ready.

But to get ready for what is the question?

I take my parent’s hands and we go home.

No, I better just stay away.

I don’t wanna be known as the girl who has a strange phobia of a supermarket.

Yeah, I know I sound a bit hypocritical since I always say I don’t care what people think, yet anyone has their exceptions.

Mine is to hide the fact I’m scared of a supermarket.

Even though it sounds so…stupid.

When we reach home there is surprisingly a letter for me.

Huh, I wonder who would write me?

With all my friends I have here and there in America, we mostly message each other by phone.

Meh, maybe someone wants to make me a surprise.

And it was really a surprise as I read the simple letter.

Be aware of the advertising my dear Dovahkiin…we will meet again soon.

Signed it was with a simple I.

Alarmed I look around.

It can only be Inquisitor!

But what the fuck does he mean by "advertising"?

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empressofthesunwriter

#southparkfanfiction #southpark #new kid sp #dovahkiin #stick of truth #SP FanFic: Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1 #douchbag #kenny mccormick #kyle broflovski #k2 #polyamarous #SP FanFic: Codename: Dovahkiin Part 2

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themculibrary · 2 years

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Cuddling & Snuggling Masterlist

do coconuts help fevers? (ao3) - colorworld pepper/tony G, 1k

Summary:

“Do you ever get sick during a flight?” “What, like car sick, sea sickness?” “Uh, like sick-sick.” “No?” Peter closes the distance between him and Tony. “So, it’s not just the jet-lag?” Tony lays his hand flat against his forehead and winces. “Unless I’ve missed the research saying high-speed air travel causes you to burn up and look like the walking dead, then yeah, definitely not the jet lag.”

Sicktember Day 6: "Sick On Vacation"

Easier in Bed (ao3) - newtypeshadow T, 1k

Summary: Tony and Bucky have an uneasy relationship until they start sleeping together.

First Impression, Second Thoughts (ao3) - Ko_te natasha/tony T,1k

Summary: Tony was panicking. He and Natasha had been in a relationship for a while now, and she would probably expect sex very soon. After all, how could she know that he, who was literally an internationally known playboy, didn't like sex?

Natasha was panicking. She and Tony had been in a relationship for a while now, and he would probably expect sex very soon. After all, how could he know that she, who was known for looks and being a honeypot assassin, didn't care about sex?

Holding You Under The Starlight (ao3) - Azulaswife wanda/natasha G, 6k

Summary: Wanda, Natasha, Sam and Steve are on the run after Civil war. They stop in a motel in Paris and Nat and Wanda step outside and cuddle under the stars.

Hurricane Parker (ao3) - baloobird G, 2k

Summary: Peter is staying at a shelter with May during a hurricane and gets sensory overload in the midst of the chaos. Good thing he has a certain billionaire superhero in his corner.

i'm not feeling human (i think he's a good guy) (ao3) - canon irondad (tomlinsoul) G, 3k

Summary: "As Peter grows up, he’s realising that things are rarely as black and white as he wishes they were. Good people do bad things. Villains have moments of humanity. Archetypes are useless when applied to human beings."

Memories of Howard put Tony in a bad place, and he takes it out on Peter. Subsequently, memories of Peter's abusive foster parent send him into a depressive spiral. Tony loves his kid too much not to do his best to fix things.

I Still Need You (ao3) - Starrshine15 T, 5k

Summary: When Yelena starts acting more clingy and touch starved than usual, Natasha starts to worry what could be causing her sister such distress. She gets a heart breaking revelation when Yelena goes to desperate measures to get her sister’s attention.

TW: depression and self inflicted injury

Just be yourself (ao3) - Mimisempai bruce/tony G, 1k

Summary: Bruce is exhausted, he doesn't want to show it, but Tony is there to show that he will never have to force himself to be someone else with him.

New Day (ao3) - AgentOfShip leo/jemma T, 1k

Summary: Fitz wakes up in Jemma's bed and has lots of thoughts as he waits for her to wake up.

Written for Marvel Fluff Bingo prompt "Early Morning"

Pressure Changes (ao3) - sahiya pepper/tony G, 8k

Summary: Peter is pretty sure he's dying. Possibly of an aneurysm. (Spoiler: He's not.)

Scared But Not Straight (ao3) - Nickies_Nonsense bruce/tony, pepper/natasha N/R, 1k

Summary: Flash is being a jerk once again but thankfully the avengers come to Peter’s school to save the day-some of them in drag.

-cuddles -queer eye watching -hot chocolate

Scars of New York (ao3) - JustMe_AC bucky/steve T, 5k

Summary: Steve gets into trouble. Bucky needs to fix himself, then Steve up. It takes long and things need to change.

"I-I-I trus' you..." "I trust you, too, Steve."

---------------- I don't describe how any of the wounds developed, just some of the aftermath♡

Stephen Strange shy???? (ao3) - Oceanoasis stephen/wong T, 2k

Summary: At first Wong doesn't like Stephen but then he slowly learns to love him and all the things that make him Stephen.

(Warning English not my first language.)

sweet relief (ao3) - plincess_cho bucky/steve G, 1k

Summary: Two mugs wait on the coffee table when Steve gets home, but Bucky is already fast asleep.

the aftermath (ao3) - eauline steve/natasha T, 3k

Summary: Steve knows that no one, not even Natasha, can be strong all the time.

Trees are Drawing Me Near (ao3) - Finny3120 G, 2k

Summary: “Tony,” Steve said gently and Tony felt the stab of disappointment pierce his heart before the captain had a chance to say anything else. The plans were off. He’d messed up somehow. “Pete’s a bit… sick.”

He dropped his carryon. “Pete doesn’t get sick.”

“Nevertheless, he’s ill."

Tony's rushed home to the Compound for his first Thanksgiving with Peter, but unfortunately, Peter's come down with an illness while he's been away.

#themculibrary #mcu #marvel #fluff #cuddling #cuddling masterlist #masterlists

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angelo-chiarelli · 3 days

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[ andrew garfield, cis-man, he/him ] Hey, isn’t that ANGELO ‘ANGEL’ CHIARELLI. I thought they went away for the summer? Did you hear they might be a HUMAN? What I do know for certain is that they’re 38, and they’re SENSITIVE and SECLUDED. They’re originally from FLORENCE, ITALY, and have been in FENRIRSWOOD for 6 MONTHS living in FENWAY. I wonder if they still work at THE LITTLE DUCK as a BARTENDER and at DULANT COLLEGE as a PIANO PROFESSOR.

basics

full name: angelo 'angel' luca chiarelli nicknames: angel age: 38 date of birth: october 13th, 1985 zodiac: libra sun, leo rising, libra moon gender & pronouns: cisgender man, he/him relationship status: single sexuality: homosexual spoken languages: english and italian(native language) occupation: bartender at the little duck, part-time piano professor at dulant college

appearance

face claim: andrew garfield height: 5'10"(117.8 cm) dominant hand: left hair color: brown eye color: brown distinguishing features: tbd tattoos: n/a

personality

positive traits: kind, understanding, intelligent, gentle, passionate negative traits: frivolous, impulsive, gullible, indulgent, envious

mentality

phobias: fear of being alone, fear of being forgotten disorders: depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder allergies: n/a

background

hometown: verona, italy birthplace: verona, italy education level: master’s in music

headcanons

moved to fenrir after going through a pretty rough divorce with his now ex-wife. angel only married a woman because he knew it was what his parents wanted for him and he didn't have the courage to tell them that he's not attracted to women. the marriage was short-lived, having lasted for less than 5 years.

his bipolar disorder is undiagnosed, mostly because he hasn't been to a psychologist before. angel is aware to some degree that he tends to go through highs and lows(mania and depression), but chalks them up to feeling affected by whatever's going on in his life. when in a depressive period he's able to function, he just isn't as lively as usual and keeps to himself more. this is just the part he lets other people see about that aspect of himself, behind closed doors there's much more to it.

he observes and celebrates most jewish holidays because of his upbringing, as he comes from jewish heritage. angel makes it a point to travel back to italy every year for hannukah, it's important to him that he celebrates it with his family. growing up the significance of his culture and heritage wasn't lost on him, his family made it clear that it wasn't something to be taken lightly.

his parents own a vineyard in florence, which is part of why he chose to work as bartender at the little duck. while most of his knowledge about alcohol is limited to wine, angel has been spending recent months educating himself on liquor. he does enjoy some cocktails but holds a certain fondness for wine, specifically rosé

frequently throws extravagant parties because he enjoys being surrounded by people. it makes him feel less alone, which is a feeling he's struggled with for a lot of his life. only the closest of his friends would know that the parties he throws are his way of trying to get people to like him. when his home isn't full of intoxicated partygoers, he can be found playing piano, writing music, or writing poetry. despite what many might think, he's rather quiet in his down time. knows how to play piano and has a degree in music, but never pursued it as a career. angel considers music his true passion, it allows him to express feelings he doesn't know how to put into words. he doesn't necessarily want to perform, though he will on occasion for smaller get-togethers.

#angel.intro

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arsenalgbt · 5 days

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One thing from my headcanons that I will not let go of it Ben and Kai talking at the baby shower about birth. Ben is so fascinating to me in ths au. He hates baby showers, sure he went to all of the ones Leo and KT had (who had a shower per kid? honestly Ben thought it was excessive) but only because Kieran planned them and promised he'd supply booze and invite some friends for Ben to flirt with (Ben likes flirting with all of Kieran's repressed friends, likes seeing them blush - used to like having Kalvin see him making them blush and get jealous). Ben didn't let Leo or Dec throw him a baby shower, threatened them within an inch of thier lives if they so much as thought about it - both of them knew that despite being pregnant and having the worst morning sickeness that Ben would kick thier asses effortlessly. Instead Ben invited Leo, KT and Dec over to his house and ate with Leo and Dec while Kieran build the crib and stuff (this was when they found out that Dec was marrying Kai and Ben was pissed that he was going to be pregnant and fat at the wedding). Ben didn't have anyone in the room with him when he had his baby - Leo and Dec had both offered but he hadn't wanted them. KT was the only one allowed in and out of the room during labour because he didn't hover over him, wasn't overly caring and suffocating and did as he was told. Ben hopes Leo knows how lucky he is. Kai getting pregnant brought up some feelings that Ben had hidden for the last 13 months since his son was born. He thinks about not attending the shower but after Martin had filled him in all the whole drama of it possibly not being Dec's child (Ben had called him to find out if he'd known about the pregnancy because he and Leo didn't and he's a little pissed Martin didn't tell them after hearing it from Kai) Ben knew he had to go. He was hoping to see some drama but instead ended up sharing half of the naggin of vodka KT brought (Ben refuses to admit it but he thinks Kieran might be his closest friend at this rate) and getting sad in corner while everyone else pretended things were good and happy. He almost didn't notice Kai sitting down next to him, too focused on feeling jealous of Leo as he and KT played with thier kids (he doesn't think he's jealous becaue he wants to date Kieran or anything. They'd be awful together, Ben would just like to be the family he thought he and Kalvin would be for that split second) and that's when they start talking about birth and such - but only after al ittle snark from Ben

this is like a whole other fic, solely from ben's pov that's for sure! thank you for sharing with us!!!!!! the ben and Kieran's surprise friendship, that's sooooooooooo them. I can totally see it. kieran knows not to try to give ben solutions for whatever he's yapping about; he just listens, supporting him silently. wow...

from this I gathered ben is still KINDA hung up over Kalvin?? damn!!!! what made Kalvin so special?

and how did ben meet willo after his baby was born? how old is the child? a girl or a boy? did ben come clean to willo since the beginning "I'm a single mother" or??

ALSO; how is ben with his child? did he have postpartum depression (not sure how it's called) - is he disconnected from his child???? if I may, I think he does have a postpartum grief thingy. he kinda leaves his child with his parents cuz his mental health kinda deteriorated when the actual tiny human is born, is in his arms. like... he's not that numb, he can still feed his child, but he doesn't really want anything to do other than feeding them LIKE. is kinda unmoved when the baby cries. can hold and rock them to sleep, but that's it??? thus his parents are taking over, and ben busies himself with work! wdyt?

PLEASE TELL ME 😭😭😭 we need more mpreg u can't denyyyyyyyyyy

#je suis #damn I need a tag #fic material #arranged marriage au

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