Beautiful promethea moth I managed to untangle some cobwebs from last night :) she stuck around where I put her for a while to rest and recover, and was sent on her way just now! At first I mistook her for a cecropia, but after a little more digging (and the help of some sunlight) I found that she more closely resembles a promethea :D I love her and I hope she enjoys the rest of her little buggy life <3
what is considered "beautiful" by society is inevitably sexist, racist, ableist, classist, transphobic, and bigoted. it targets and attacks any perceived difference, and it particularly villainizes women of color while co-opting aesthetics; as if features and cultural norms can be worn as accessories.
and the scary thing! you can see all of these things, know them to be true logically, and also know that you are treated better if you are perceived as beautiful. if you have ever been treated as "ugly", you know exactly how much society reviles you if you don't manage to scamper along and perform to their rules.
and how are you supposed to balance that? do you want a nose job to fix your broken nose, or have you just recently been seeing videos about how many people look better after nose jobs. do you want to lose weight to feel good, or is it that when you lose weight people treat you better. do you want to wear this outfit, or is it just the thing that's least likely to get you harassed. do you want to get lip injections for your reasons or is your whole reason that you don't feel beautiful unless you get those lip injections?
and the definitions shift. the goals get more specific. in the way that you only become aware of your tongue when someone mentions it; parts of your body are introduced as problems. i had never heard the term "hip dip" until about a year ago - and it was in the context of how to get rid of this. i'm 30, i know this shit is invented, and yet! i still find that strange voice saying but do you think someone is going to notice?
how the fuck am i supposed to say "this is my genuine choice i am making for my body" when i also know that years of my life have been spent socializing me to accept this as my inevitable fate? how do i know i'm actually doing this out of love for my body - or am i doing it for how i want others to see me, which will be lovely enough to feel loved? how am i supposed to recover when my unhealthy habits are seen as self-discipline but if i relax i'm openly mocked for "letting time win"? how the fuck am i supposed to say "i'm doing it for me" when i'm also very aware that i'm doing it to stop myself from being teased or demeaned? is it my choice if the other option is being bullied?
we are living in a hostage negotiation - either consent to the demands or spend the rest of your life being treated like you're a despicable person.
Well, it's a very long time since I did such an early workout!
Surprise, surprise, my blood sugars went the entirely opposite way. Been low literally ALL night. What the actual??
Anyhooo.....
I gave up after waking up fully at 3.30 and lying there for an hour before deciding I may as well get my weight training out of the way.
Didn't go heavy. The hydrants actually felt the heaviest.
Then I made myself a decaff (waiting til breakfast for that REAL coffee) and I'm sitting by candlelight in my huge dressing gown before waking the boss up.
this is non comic or OSP related, so sorry if i'm overstepping, but do you have any advice for someone that wants to move/exercise more but is utterly unmotivated?(not exercise for muscles, just movement for the sake of movement)
Honestly? Think of something physically demanding you want to be able to do. Stuff like hiking and/or climbing rough terrain, running free with the wind in your hair, swordfighting, stunt falls, sick metal gear combat rolls - anything that has ever made you sit up and think "I wish I could do that!" Once you reframe movement and exercise as a way to make your body capable of more fun things, it becomes a lot easier to stay motivated.
Big baby Rosie keeps trying to sit on my lap as if she were baby belle sized, and the results are sweet and ridiculous. We definitely both need the comfort and silliness rn.