Tomorrow is the day I should be completely out of credit card & medical debt 🥹

living alone is all fun and games til you have a medical emergency and there's no one there to help you to the hospital

evening/night boop! (how are you doing?)

morning boop! (i've lost track of the time whoops!)

I'm doing well! have a cat butt!

I had a fun day today!!! Going to a con with my sister is always a good laugh and glad to have managed to get some decent things!!! Has definitely made me super tired tho!

technically the contract for my new internship (signed & submitted, but i haven't actually started yet or turned in my payment info or anything) states that i'm supposed to start on monday. so strictly speaking i haven't lost hours on the job due to being sick this week, i guess. but in communication it was agreed that i would start this past monday for a lighter possibly part-time week of mostly onboarding and getting-to-know-the-office type work. which obviously i've missed due to hacking my lungs out in my house for the past eight days...it's not the end of the world for me to start next week, my boss is totally fine with it and wants me to be okay before starting, and it's not like i will have missed anything terribly important like a performance or something. and missing one week's worth of a paycheck is not going to ruin me financially, thankfully. but still, y'know, disappointed to have lost a week of productivity, especially in such a lucrative (job experience wise not necessarily money wise. but the money isn't terrible either.) internship i'm super lucky to have gotten in the first place. very much looking forward to finally starting on monday and putting this shit behind me

I want all of my friends to know that I love y'all so so much and I'm sorry I've been so bad at responding to DMs and stuff these past few weeks, I do not think that is going to improve for at least another few weeks because I am just so so busy and everything is so so so much and I am doing my best and I love all of you people in my phone and I will do my best to actually Talk to you all more and better in a few weeks when everything has slowed the fuck down and I'm no longer stressed to the point that it feels like my brain is leaking out of my ears.

(personal vent about my sack of shit father ruining christmas again)

me, my fathers only "daughter"/child:

helps my grandmother for weeks to prepare for his christmas party that neither of us wanted (he goes way over the top. invites his friends that are all loud drunks. cooks food we don't like. keeps the whole house up partying into the early hours of the morning. makes a mess and refuses to clean up after himself. doesn't spend time with us and instead hangs out with his friends, even for family holidays and events. etc.

me and my grandmother are disabled, constantly in pain/have stomach issues, and generally just want to be left on our own for holidays, so the whole event is just awful for us)

has been up since 6* in the morning, continuing to prepare for his party so he doesn't throw a hissy fit, running on only a few hours of sleep*, running around from store to store, cleaning, cooking, decoaring, etc.

spends hours trying to wake him up.

after doing everything I am capable of skill/strength wise, I took a two hour power nap before guests come.

helps serve dinner, makes drinks, fulfills every task my father gives me to maintain the delicate peace in the household, cause my grandmother wants to murder him*.

does all of this with no complaint.

my father:

promises his full and undivided attention and help the day before the party (this is the only day he's offered the slightest help outside of making a huge dinner no one but he and his friends wanted), he then breaks this promise, does nothing, delegates every task my grandmother has given him to me, and then leaves at 6 at night to go party, ignoring the amount of cooking he needs to finish.

doesn't come home for almost 12 hours (he came home at 6am), waking me up*, sleeps till 1, leaving me and my gradnmother do 90% of the things that needed to be done today (as his guests are coming at 4).

invites more friends than he originally told us about, ditching us after dinner (which we served) to go hang out outside and blast music so loud it shakes the house.

and then complains that I "slept all day" and "did nothing" so now I need to clean the whole kitchen and all the dishes of over 15 guests, not him, the reason there's such a mess to clean.

he continues to demand this even after something he cooks, knowing I hate it and it makes me feel ill, and stinks up the whole kitchen, making me go lie down because it made me nauseous and gave me a migraine.

I then get to spend the rest of my christmas eve cleaning, doing dishes, while barely holding back tears.

thanks dad, for ruining an already awful christmas, you fucking asshole.

Please don't read the tags..

god i wanna start over so bad, i fucked up and ruined university just like high school, and high school was SHIT after what i did, everyone stared at me in the hallways and everything was horrible for years, i don’t wanna go through it again with the time i have left in uni, i wanna go someplace else where nobody knows my face and start fresh with a clean reputation — that i know i’ll ruin in a couple of years but by then i’ll be graduating so i can just start over again in residency

…

Almost had a breakdown at work today bc they're changing the layout nearly COMPLETELY and I was arguing with [relative coworker] that I KNOW they're gonna take the extra tables away, bc I KNOW how corporate thinks (ie: well just stock less/condense. It doesnt matter that WE ordered/put on the schedule 30+ items for you to have put out. YOU just arent selling enough!)) And she was like no I've been here this long, I know best

And so we're arguing and I'm reading out the layout in a passive agressive "no, I'M right" way and fucking Dumbass Husband coworker comes by and asks her if shes sad bc she looks sad

MOTHERFUCKER WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING HERE!! GO AWAY FUCKHEAD!

And I was not masking and looked at him like 😐+😠 like fucking come on hurry up and leave I'm ARGUING

Anyway I was dropping fucks/fucking all morning bc it's just SO STUPID how they want things now and it's not going to work!!!

And apparently we're allowed to request price drops if theres too much product and like none selling and it's like okay that's great for the stupid Sharter's brand shit I have that nooooo one wants but everyone wants to look at the size 24m bc ooh it's on the BOTTOM

But I fucking have these shitty 3pack shorts still (we got a shipment of 800 at the end of june... price already lowered by half by then to like $6) and they're STILL NOT SELLING AT LIKE $4! I CANT MARK THEM LOWER BITCH

I mean I'll put in a request when I have time but I'm kinda hoping they just... get liquidated...

Oh and we think Dumbass Couple were high and that's why he clearly couldnt read the room (and other off/odd instances) but also bc his wife asked me if I had the Reese's ice cream we got for free today and I said no I cant have that and shes like "you cant????" Like dumbfounded and I said no I'm allergic and she paused and goes "peanut butter?"

Agsgsgsgs like no fucking chocolate YEAH PEANUTS DIPSHIT ITS THE MOST COMMON ALLERGEN agsggdgdgd

Oh and apparently their transfer got cancelled/rejected lmaoo so we're stuck with them 😭 ffs

as im getting closer & closer to the day that i will officially leave my hometown & go live with my dad i am starting to understand my ocs more

-

desperately trying to gain some fuckin weight but the clap of my metabolism keeps scaring the calories away

I lied

.