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#kinda wanna add untouched lol
helenhuntingdon · 1 year
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Casually made a playlist inspired by The Newsreader and Tim & Dale.
With tracks from The Newsreader, fanvids and fics (I’ll share the fanvids - see Ao3 for the fics!) and just 80s queer music!
See also: The Newsreader’s Official Playlist.
And this Tim/Dale Playlist and adorable Tim Ahern playlist.
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straykits · 11 months
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all my wips,,, all opened,,, and yet most untouched,,,, now that i'm on break i wanna get sm writing done but i HDSVDS know that all of a sudden i'll only have two weeks left and all i've done is like maybe one thing :(
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mod2amaryllis · 7 months
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I'm waiting for this migraine to die so I'm gonna tell you guys about Marshall, the dog who made me quit. read on if you wanna learn about extended quarantine and why this job sucks sometimes and other times is the most rewarding thing on the planet, often for the same reasons lmao.
in 2021, the weight of covid was kinda crashing down. i heard this was the case for a lot of health workers. we switched into emergency mode throughout 2020 and powered through, then the rest of the world decided to try and "get back to normal" a year later, giving no regard to the people who'd been working like a speeding train with the brakes off all that time. i was losing it!!! add a few more hay bales to my back when we hired a new doc who was the most demanding dude I'd ever met (still is, but we've come to some understanding lol) and who decided to run me as ragged as possible the first day he was left to his own devices.
that was the day Marshall came in.
i didn't talk about this back then because the outcome of the case was uncertain and the details so specific, but here's the run down knowing that 2 years later, Marshall is living his best life. when he was a baby, too young to have received a rabies vaccine, his owners found a rabies positive bat in the house. the state vet will always recommend euthanasia in these situations, OR, if you can somehow find and afford the option, a 6 month quarantine. this was such a tragic situation the owners were willing to try to save him. my clinic happens to have a decent isolation ward that's rarely in use; we use it for infectious patients like parvo puppies, uri's that have to be hospitalized, etc. so my boss agreed to take him for those 6 months. but the owners' caveat was that if he wasn't mentally adjusting to isolation after a couple weeks, they would euthanize so as not to put him through it and leave him with lifelong behavior issues.
that day, when animal control brought Marshall in the middle of an insane rush, we were short staffed and already at the end of our ropes with this new doc. i was the only qualified person who could talk to the officer. i was the only person who could take him back to isolation. the act of putting a 12 week old puppy in a 4 x 4 run where i knew he would either spend 6 months untouched, or never see the outside again, broke me. last straw.
i was a mess, for the rest of that day and the rest of that weekend having to go in and take care of him, when it was too early for him to adjust so i was sure he wouldn't make it. I'd come home sobbing. eventually jose was just like, "this isn't worth it any more," and i sent in a two weeks notice. i'd come close to doing so many times in the previous 6 years but never pulled the trigger. it took a total meltdown. my managers responded with regret, but understanding.
i wish i could've just felt free and done with it but for those two weeks i was just uncertain. this job is so complicated. the benefits for my pets are enormous; it's my main social network; it's income; I'm good at it and it gives me purpose. it's just also hell on earth! with no pressure from anyone else one way or the other, by the end of two weeks I'd decided to instead try going part time. that's where I'm at 2 years later so guess it worked lol.
but! there was still Marshall. shortly after we took him, we also happened to get a call for the same situation on 2 cats, and decided to take them as well. 3 animals on a 6 month quarantine. very new and daunting for all of us.
that first weekend was hard, but slowly, Marshall figured things out. it was the least ideal situation imaginable and i was at rock bottom and so was he, but i had this moment of like.....ok. if he wants to make this work, I'm gonna do as right by him as possible. and of course all us techs were helping him (one of my road dog coworkers always opened so i referred to her as his "morning mom") but i in particular took a special interest in training and enrichment. it became a passion. i was working less, but i volunteered extra weekends so i could see him more.
he was so young he hadn't even done much basic command training, and the fact that i couldn't touch him at all was a challenge. i started with a clicker to signal I'd rolled a treat into his run, since i couldn't give it to him directly. over those months we went through the basics: sit, down, paw, touch, using a back scratcher for a hand. part of the worry was him getting enough exercise; we noticed that when he'd get agitated, he'd jump on the bars non stop. i was like hmm that might be our only option, so i made "up" a command. i'd basically run burpies for exercise, up-sit-down-sit-up. he was a fast learner, very attentive. seeing him keep his wits about him like that was straight up thrilling. he even "potty trained" himself, barking like crazy whenever he'd go to the bathroom so we'd know right away he needed the run cleaned.
in the ward, there are 2 runs and 3 kennels. i trained Marshall to go back and forth between runs so we could clean. we'd have his food waiting for him in the next run over so he could eat while we'd clean; at the midday switch, he'd have a doggie popsicle. he was such a smart dog i knew toys and treats alone weren't cutting it for enrichment, and i couldn't constantly train him when i still had to be doing the rest of my job.
i started having everyone save every single box and paper-packaging that came in. i'd unfold some boxes for "bedding," so he'd at least have something between him and the concrete (he'd chew and eat any blanket we tried giving him). the rest, i turned into puzzles. i put treats inside and closed them up. put big boxes on their side in his run so he could go in and out. crumpled up paper-packaging with treats mixed in for him to dig through. every day i'd turn one run into a box-toy paradise, let him in, clean the other, and by the time i was checking back in on him he was snoozing in a pile of destruction. success. when other techs wouldn't go to the same lengths, i'd stay late pre-making his boxes and telling people to just throw them in dammit. i also queued several ambient sound playlists, birdsong cityscapes etc, to play on the weekend days when he was alone for long periods.
the months went by like this. i learned more about training, enrichment, and most specifically quarantine than i ever had outside of my experiences with my own puppies. we fell into a routine. we straight up loved each other, he was part of my life. he'd been this horrible trigger and pretty much doubled my workload, but he got to live.
then there were the cats! they were a little easier than Marsh just because they were already adults so didn't have all this energy to wrangle. for them, daily cleaning of course, taking turns going into the 1 empty kennel where i'd have treats, catnip, and other "new" smells waiting for them. for enrichment i focused on reconfiguration. every 2-3 days i'd rearrange things in their kennels, with the big pieces being a litter box, a bed, and an upright sturdy box (so they could either be in it or on top of it, giving them one upper level). it was habitat tetris. we'd play with strings and use the back scratcher for pets. then about every week, i'd switch their kennels to slightly change their view AND traded beds to mingle scents. they were from the same household and we were worried there'd be difficulty re-bonding after not being in direct contact for so long. they also did very well by the end of 6 months aside from gaining a lot of weight (oops). i learned just as much from them, and would love to help anyone else who might struggle with needing to quarantine pets.
i've seen people posting for help about similar situations and just wanna scream from the rooftops: the beginning is very daunting and hopeless, but animals aren't like us!!!!!! they do the best with what they got!!!!! if you work hard and keep them clean and develop a routine it'll all work out!!!!! Marshall walked out of there at 6 months a normal happy puppy in desperate need of a haircut.
it's interesting because i've never interacted much with his owners. i don't think they know i'm the one who kept him from losing his mind in there, even though everyone else at the clinic does, and i'm weirdly ok with that. the other day he came in cuz the dummy ate a bunch of meds he wasn't supposed to; the doc brought him to the back and instantly, Marshall rushed right for me. he still remembers me in a good way. there's still love. it's like...one of the few patient relationships i've had that feels truly deeply personal. in retrospect i think he had a bigger hand in healing my relationship with this career and animals in general than i realized at the time.
so thanks for making me quit Marshall. i feel a lot better now.
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(i don't have any pics of him from that time (tragic ssd card accident) but he was an overgrown doodle puppy so he looked like this.)
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signeficunt · 5 months
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can i hear all u have to say on 9/11 please i am way too interested in it also
omg ofc i'm always happy to infodump about my special interests lol!
(sorry this took a while this post became really long lmao)
i first became interested about 9/11 through the lost media community, when i saw ppl talk about the "LOL superman" video (supposedly an old shock video showing close-ups of the jumpers lying dead on the ground) though i personally don't believe it exists. but it was through that discussion that i found out about r/911archive, which is an amazing resource for anyone interested in 9/11, as it not only mostly factual (speculation does happen there ofc but conspiracy theories generally aren't tolerated) but it's also filled with thousands of kind and helpful people who are just as interested in it as i am lol
recently i've been watching lots of archived footage of the events, mostly news footage but some home videos too, and the naudet brothers who were filming a documentary about firefighters when 9/11 happened (they actually have footage of the first plane hitting the north tower! highly reccomend checking it out on youtube if you have the time!) i actually have a playlist with currently 28 videos in it that i can share if u want! i would say that the absolute best footage of that day comes from eyewitness news. This footage specifically (i hope the link works) is really, really good imo, as they actually caught the collapse of the south tower while standing basically a few meters away from the WTC, absolutely incredible footage imo!
Other footage which i find really interesting is from (i wasn't aware of them before since i'm not american and also born after 9/11), the way you can hear the audiences reaction to the news really hammers home how shocking this actually was, i can only speculate but it really feels like there was this attitude that the WTC, the pentagon and america in general were untouchable, and 9/11 kinda spelled out to people that this wasn't the case at all...
i will add one more video which i found interesting (otherwise this post will go on forever) and that's . i've often heard people who were alive when it happened say that they felt like the world stood still, and after seeing that video i think i understand.
people often trivialise 9/11 by making fun of peoples reactions to it and what not (and i agree that 9/11 has been used to justify awful things) but now that i've seen so much footage from that fateful day i just can't stand that kind of behaviour. and i've joked about it too in the past, in fact if you went through my archive right now you could probably find some post from last year mocking the event, but i really regret it tbh. like nearly 3000 people died (and many more died in the following war) so it's just not funny to me anymore
there's lots of footage which i find interesting but for the sake of this post not being super long i won't go on lol, but u can always send another ask or DM me if u wanna talk more c:
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fuckit im posting some Cybertronian caste system rambles now. copypasted from discord bc im lazy, names redacted except for mine.
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THIS IS THE OLD DIAGRAM. IM GONNA SHIFT SOME SHIT AROUND IN THE NEW VERSION LOL
also note: this is historical worldbuilding, i.e. the shit megatron and optimus got rid of. just wanna make that clear xD
catboy orion pax — Today at 6:50 PM
ok so to start with i wanna get rid of the summary words
theyre like loosely applicable in terms of how social organisation went but there's enough variation that it was never a guarantee
like for example, the guard castes that work around the well of all sparks and at the palace of the primes were more like T3  than T6 and sometimes higher
and sometimes different places had different priorities so you might get a scientist in, like. kaon or some shit who's T4 at best
jhgfgdfds — Today at 6:54 PM
Jazz is a chronicler, right?
catboy orion pax — Today at 6:55 PM
yep, he and orion are both in t4
buuuuuuut the chroniclers rank sliiiightly higher
there are internal ranks within the tiers (but it’s less like a ladder of rank than a vaguely-defined cloud of midges jockeying for position tbh)
my headcanon is the chroniclers are the ppl writing down history and life as it happens, and the archivists - their caste name is 'record-keepers' - are the ones maintaining and working with that data
the hall of records also has a guard clade that rank about t4 bc they have to, and a clade of cleaners/maintenance workers who rank about t6 and dont interact with patrons. both of these are ranked higher than they would otherwise, and are pretty well off compared to castes that do similar jobs in, say, the global undercities, but they still get kind of a shit deal in comparison to everyone around them. it’s all relative.
red alert is somewhere in that general T4 data handlers' area too
i made a joke about, if you're using the Grid (the part of the Datanet that isn't a complete dumpster fire), you have like a 1 in 3 chance of red alert being ur own personal FBI agent meme
hgfdgg — Today at 7:08 PM
so is Prowl lower ranked than the rest, at tier 6?
catboy orion pax — Today at 7:09 PM
i think prowl might be admin caste level, tbh
the enforcers are like, the vast majority of them are t6 because that's all they need to be to interact with tiers 6, 7 and 8, who are most of cybertron
there will be t6 officers and then there's be higher-caste officers
probably local command structures vs regional
in rise, prowl is in a regional commander sort of position, trying to run an anti-cartels unit of sorts, and it isnt going well
ultimately they fall under the ministry of justice, which is headed by T1 mecha
tbh the main thrust of this system, as it applies to my fic, is that it has like bureaucratic bloat out the wazoo
there are a lot of castes that just fuckin exist?
they do the same job as some other caste or few but somehow they ended up in separate castes, with the different legal status and restrictions that implies, and the caste system as a whole just shrugged and moved on because fuck dealing with all that shit
absolutely nothing about my cybertronian government is an efficient system lmfao
jhgfjgdf — Today at 7:14 PM
I blame the quints
catboy orion pax — Today at 7:14 PM
[cackles]
tbh it sort of came from the quints but it wasn't ultimately their fault
there was like... the quintessons tried to take over cybertron and add it to their colonial empire three fuckin times
they failed every time but it was a close run thing that wreaked an apocalyptic level of destruction and disruption on cybertron
the ppl who finally beat the quintessons the third time were scared to shit of them coming back for a fourth go, so they did everything they could to turn cybertron into a unified state for the sake of better defense
previously it had been fragmented, kinda like europe in the middle ages? in theory the kings paid homage to the prime and took his thoughts into account but in practice they mostly got left to their own shit
i want to say there were like five large-scale social reorganization tactics that the empire used to try and make a centralised single state but i can only remember three of them rn
1) enshrinement of caste system (didn't have an 'untouchable' equivalent at the time, that came later); 2) creation of a state religion out of the bits of the previous religions that played nicely w each other, and 3) imposition of a global language of government
oh yeah and there's a thing called rank-exempt
cause sometimes the Govt acknowledges that the caste system just makes shit Kinda Annoying so if ur sufficiently useful the ppl ur useful to can apply to have ur restrictions temporarily or permanently lifted so u can be even more useful to them
but ultimately the system is just Bad For Society in a variety of ways and nobody’s been brave enough to admit it, so it stumbles on with a chokehold around the Empire’s figurative neck.
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silverlightqueen · 4 years
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Satiate
silverlightqueen’s SKZ Scarefest
incubus!Jisung x human!reader ft. itzy yeji and ab6ix daehwi - smut again, a little bit of comedy and fluff, jisung tries his hardest to be soft but it’s a struggle bc he wants to corrupt y/n lol I’m a slut for corruption kink
Word Count: 11.2k+ words (I’M SO SORRY)
Summary -  y/n needs to lose her virginity before her date with Sex God Seonghwa, and what better way than to enlist the help of a soft dom sex demon? Except the soft dom was fully booked, so she got a hard dom sex demon instead. But it’ll be totally fine. Right?
Warnings: discussion of virginity, explicit sex, unprotected sex, harddom/softdom!jisung x subvirgin!y/n, explicit dirty talk, soft and rough sex lol, corruption kink, marking, fingering, oral sex (m receiving), facefucking, guided blowjob, cum swallowing, gagging, hair pulling, teasing, brief nipple play, multiple orgasms, penetrative sex, crying during sex, virgin sex, it hurts her a lot at the start, asphyxiation, degradation and praise lol, overstimulation, aftercare, I think that’s it but please let me know if you notice I missed something!
a/n: and here is the fifth instalment of my SKZ Scarefest! I really hope you guys enjoy this, and thank you to my sexy best friend for proofreading this filthy monster of a fic lmao, you’re the best! please be sure to check out the previous parts and keep an eye out for the next parts too! x
taglist: @kodzu-ken​ @cloudsgathering​ @silverlightprincess
silverlightqueen navigation
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‘Did I just hear what I think I heard?’ Daehwi says from Yeji’s bedroom door, mouth wide open in shock, and I shoot Yeji a dirty look for talking so loud. We’re sat on her bed opposite each other, both of us with legs crossed and a half empty pizza box beside us. ‘What did you think you heard?’ she asks him, obviously not wanting to admit anything she doesn’t have to. ‘You saying that y/n is a… virgin,’ he says, whispering the last word, and Yeji winces as I let out a loud huff, dropping my head into my hands. ‘Please, Daehwi, kindly never ever mention that again. To me or to anybody else,’ I wail embarrassedly, voice muffled by my hands, and Daehwi lets out a little laugh, stepping in and shutting the door behind him.
‘Why did I not know this?’ he asks, throwing himself down on the bed between Yeji and I, sprawled out on her covers, and I lift my head from my hands. ‘Why would you? It’s not like I’d mention it to my best friend’s boyfriend.’ ‘I would’ve thought Yeji would’ve told me,’ he says pointedly, Yeji rolling her eyes. ‘I’m not gonna spill my best friend’s secrets to you. It’s none of your business anyway.’ ‘Well, no, but I could’ve helped,’ he says, my eyes widening as Yeji chokes on thin air. ‘Not personally, obviously! I could’ve set you up with someone. Loads of my friends think you’re hot,’ Daehwi says, Yeji and I exchanging a glance.
‘What?’ ‘I’ve told you this before. Well… I thought I did. But, yeah, they mention y/n a lot. They’ve all got little crushes on you – who wouldn’t? You are pretty hot, y/n. From an objective point of view, obviously,’ he adds as a panicked afterthought, the scowl on Yeji’s face softening as she rolls her eyes. ‘I’m not looking to… lose my virginity, though. I’m quite happy being a virgin,’ I say, Yeji and Daehwi both raising their eyebrows at me, and I let out an annoyed huff. ‘Okay, maybe I’m panicking about it!’ I exclaim, Daehwi laughing as Yeji pats my leg comfortingly.
‘Why are you panicking?’ ‘You know that guy in your Wednesday morning seminar, Seonghwa? Well, she’s been crushing on him for a while, and he asked her to go to Jackson’s Halloween party with him! But she’s worried he’s gonna want sex, because she feels like she’s gonna fuck it all up and it’s gonna really hurt because she’s really inexperienced and doesn’t have a clue what she’s doing and-’ ‘Okay, Yeji, god, don’t sugar-coat it!’ ‘Sorry, sorry. So yeah, she’s panicking,’ Yeji explains, Daehwi nodding as he listens. ‘So… just don’t have sex with him if you’re not comfortable with it. You don’t owe it to him,’ Daehwi says, and I sigh. ‘But I want to have sex with him. God, I really wanna have sex with him. He’s so goddamn hot,’ I say dreamily, Daehwi raising an eyebrow. ‘He’s not that hot.’ ‘He is,’ Yeji says, ignoring the hurt look Daehwi throws her way.
‘So lose your virginity to him,’ Daehwi says, Yeji and I looking at him in disbelief. ‘You think Seonghwa The Sex God is gonna go easy on her? No, he won’t. And she needs someone to go easy on her the first time, so she can get used to it a little,’ Yeji says, Daehwi nodding. ‘So… you need someone to take your virginity and teach you about sex before Jackson’s Halloween party?’ Daehwi asks, Yeji and I nodding. We’re all silent for a moment, a thoughtful look on Daehwi’s face, and then he sighs.
‘Okay, this probably isn’t a good idea, but I’m gonna suggest it to you anyway,’ he says reluctantly, and I exchange a look with Yeji. ‘Have you heard of incubuses before?’ he asks, and I frown in confusion. ‘Um, yeah. They’re demons, right?’ ‘Yeah. Sex demons.’ ‘Oh. Sex demons,’ I repeat in surprise, and he nods, looking like he’s holding back a laugh. ‘Yeah. I know one. He’s a really nice guy actually – people usually summon him for their first time, or if they’ve just broken up with someone and they need to feel loved. He’s super soft and sweet. Well, that’s what I’ve heard,’ he adds at Yeji’s suspicious look, and I hold back a laugh.
‘So you’re telling me you can set me up with a soft and sweet sex demon to take my virginity?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘But… I wouldn’t advise it. It should be your last resort. You can get addicted to incubus sex, and that’s never good.’ ‘I’m sure Seonghwa would be able to satiate her cravings,’ Yeji says with a wink, both of us dissolving into giggles as Daehwi looks between us unamusedly. ‘I’m being serious.’ ‘But it sounds like a good idea, Daehwi. What does he look like?’ I ask, and Daehwi hesitates before sighing, getting his phone out of his pocket. When he holds the screen up to me a few moments later, my mouth falls open.
‘Oh, my God. He… is fucking gorgeous,’ I murmur, butterflies in my stomach at just seeing his face on a screen. It’s a group picture but Daehwi’s zoomed in on him, stood in the middle of the group of boys. He looks quite tall, very well-proportioned with long limbs, a small waist and thick thighs. His hair is long and blond, and he has half of it pulled back into a ponytail in this picture, a few strands framing his perfect face. His eyes are dark and sparkly, his lips are plump and pink, his bone structure is strong and defined, and his skin is smooth and tanned. ‘Oh. Wow,’ Yeji says when she sees the picture, Daehwi huffing in annoyance. ‘Sorry, but he is hot. Hotter than Sex God Seonghwa.’
‘What’s his name?’ I ask, unable to keep my eyes off him. ‘He goes by Hyunjin. That’s his human name, anyway. I could text him to ask if he’d help y-’ ‘Yes. Text him. Please.’ ‘Are you sure?’ ‘Hundred percent.’ Yeji and I watch as Daehwi sends Hyunjin a text (didn’t know demons had phones), asking for a favour, and then the three of us wait eagerly for a reply, half-focusing on the film playing on Yeji’s tv. ‘He’s typing!’ Daehwi exclaims, Yeji squealing as we stare at the screen, waiting for his reply to pop up.
Daehwi: hey bro, how you been? looking forward to seeing you at Jackson’s. wondering if you could do me a favour?
Hyunjin: hey bro! I’m good, looking forward to it too. anything bro, what you need?
Daehwi: my girlfriend’s friend has a date to the party, and she wants to lose her virginity before the date. I know you… deal with stuff like that a lot, so we were wondering if you could help her out?
Daehwi: she’s hot
‘Daehwi, you idiot! Why would you put that? Now we look desperate!’ Yeji exclaims as I hit my head with my hand. ‘Sorry. But Hyunjin has a weakness for a pretty face! There’s no way he’ll say no,’ Daehwi says, Yeji and I exchanging an exasperated glance as his phone pings with a new text.
Hyunjin: bro if you’d texted me like an hour ago, I could’ve helped 😭 my schedule is literally packed bc it’s so close to halloween, I literally can’t fit anyone else in
Hyunjin: how hot is she tho 👀
‘Send him that sexy picture I took of her on that night out. The one where she’s smiling and she looks all glowy and she’s got her tits out,’ Yeji says, Daehwi letting out a little noise of disgust as he opens my Instagram. ‘Do her tits disgust you, Daehwi?’ Yeji demands angrily, making me burst into laughter. ‘Her… tits make me feel nothing. Let’s hope they make Hyunjin feel something, so he moves his schedule around,’ Daehwi says as he sends the picture, successfully deflecting Yeji’s accusation.
Hyunjin: bro you’re killing me here, she’s so hot 😭
Hyunjin: I wish I could move my schedule around but I just can’t. apparently people like fucking soft doms at halloween
Hyunjin: I’ve got a friend who might be able to fit her in tho
‘He’s a soft dom? Oh, my God, he would’ve been perfect,’ Yeji says miserably, and I can’t help but feel miserable myself. This gorgeous specimen actually finds me hot but is too busy to have sex with me. How is this fair? ‘Ask about his friend,’ I say reluctantly, and Daehwi begins typing out a message.
Daehwi: what’s your friend like?
Hyunjin: he’s apparently really good but he’s not um as soft as I am
Hyunjin: he’s kinda a hard dom
Hyunjin: but he’s been wanting to uh expand his skill set for a while
Hyunjin: I can’t believe I’m giving up this opportunity but this might be good for him
‘What’d you say, y/n?’ Daehwi asks, and I feel a little reluctant. I’m supposed to have someone go easy on me for my first time and instead I’m gonna have a hard dom sex demon who’s trying to ‘expand his skill set’. I’m not sure this is a good idea, but showing up to that party with Seonghwa as a completely untouched virgin is a worse idea. ‘Fuck it. Tell him I’ll do it.’
Daehwi: she said she’ll do it
Hyunjin: great! jisung will be happy
Hyunjin: what’s her name?
Daehwi: y/n y/l/n. she lives in the same accommodation block as me
Hyunjin: great, I’ve just spoken to him and he said he’ll be there tonight
‘Tonight?’ Yeji and I chorus in a loud shriek, Daehwi covering his ears with a wince. ‘Girl, let’s get you back to your apartment now. Shower and shave and put on something sexy,’ Yeji says excitedly, jumping out of the bed and pulling me towards the door. ‘Yeji, wai- Thank you, Daehwi!’ I shout over my shoulder as she drags me out of the room. ‘No problem, y/n,’ I hear him call back, ‘have fun with Jisung!’
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‘Wow. My first virgin and she’s fast asleep,’ a dry voice cuts into my slumber, and I peel my eyes open, blinking in the low light of my lamp. ‘Oh, maybe she’s not,’ the voice says again amusedly as I push myself up into a sitting position, the bedsheets still covering my half-naked body, and rub at my eyes to wake myself up. When I reopen them, they focus on a boy stood at the foot of my bed. ‘Wakey wakey, sweetheart,’ he murmurs, a smirk on his handsome face. ‘You’re Jisung, right?’ I ask, words a little slurred with drowsiness, and he lets out a gentle chuckle, sitting at the foot of my bed. ‘The one and only, baby,’ he replies with a grin, and I don’t reply, taking a moment to look him over.
He’s a little on the short side, but I’ve never really cared for height all that much, and his body is very much in proportion, his small waist giving him a nice figure. His hair is blond – dyed, I’m guessing. It doesn’t really look like it’d be natural with his honey complexion – and his eyes are dark brown. He’s very… very handsome, in his tight black jeans and plain white t-shirt, simple silver jewellery adorning his neck, ears, wrists and fingers.
‘Are you just gonna sit there staring at me, or are you gonna talk?’ he asks, pink lips quirking up into an amused smirk. ‘Sorry. I’m still a little… sleepy,’ I mumble, and he lets out a gentle chuckle. ‘I can tell. I’m sure Hyunjin told your friend that I was coming tonight.’ ‘He did. But I thought tonight would mean at, like, 11, 12, maybe 1. Not… 3.57 in the morning,’ I say pointedly as I read the time from my phone screen, raising an eyebrow at him, and he lets out a gentle laugh. ‘Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m a busy guy. I just about squeezed you into my schedule.’
‘Because you want to expand your skill set?’ I ask dryly, and he laughs quite loud at that. ‘Is that what Hyunjin told your friend? Fucking liar. I’m a hard dom, sweetheart, and quite happy being one – I’ll leave the heartbroken and the virgins to Hyunjin. I only accepted this because I owe him one, and because you… well, you’re hot,’ he says bluntly, and I feel myself starting to panic. ‘But… I’ve never had sex before. I need someone to be gentle and careful. I can’t h-’ ‘Woah, woah, baby, relax. I’m not gonna, like, tie you up and punish you and stuff. I’m not evil. But I might not be able to do all the nice stuff that Hyunjin does, like the soft kisses and the compliments and shit,’ he says, and I let out a frustrated huff.
‘So I’m about to lose my virginity to a ‘hard-dom’ demon who won’t give me any kisses or compliments or any of the stuff that makes your first time actually enjoyable? Great!’ I exclaim as my eyes fill with tears, voice shaky, and his face drops with panic. ‘Don’t cry, sweetheart, don’t cry!’ he says, moving up the bed to wipe the tears from my face, ‘I’ll try my best, I promise, but that stuff doesn’t come naturally to me. You might have to just remind me to go a little slower on you, or be a little gentler.’ I nod, wiping away my tears embarrassedly, letting out a little laugh.
‘God, this is so humiliating. We’re supposed to be having sex, and instead I’m crying to you,’ I say miserably, and he lets out a gentle chuckle. ‘Don’t worry about it, baby. I have girls crying all the time. Usually it’s when I’m fucking them, but it’s still tears. Crying, I can deal with,’ he says gently, making me laugh. ‘We don’t have to have sex straight away. You’ve got me for a few hours, sweetheart, so we can slowly work up to it. This is new for both of us, remember? So it’s best we don’t rush straight into it. Don’t panic,’ he murmurs, brushing my hair back from my face with a soft hand, and I nod, feeling a little better. At least he’s nice.
‘Why’d you wanna lose your virginity, sweetheart?’ ‘Did Hyunjin not tell you?’ ‘He showed me the picture of you, said you were a virgin and asked me to do him a solid. I didn’t ask for the backstory.’ ‘I’ve got a date with this guy, Seonghwa, in a few days. He’s taking me to our friend’s Halloween party – apparently Hyunjin’s going too – and he’s like this absolutely gorgeous Sex God. I want to have sex with him, but I doubt he’ll want to fuck an inexperienced virgin,’ I explain, Jisung listening intently, nodding in all the right places. ‘Ah, right. So you need to know at least a little about what to expect with Sex God Seonghwa?’ ‘Yep, and I literally don’t know the first thing about sex.’
‘Not a single thing?’ he asks, and I shake my head sheepishly. ‘Someone as hot as you has never had any… sexual encounters?’ ‘Nope. By choice, because I’ve never met a man that’s interested in me that isn’t trash, but still.’ ‘No boyfriends or girlfriends, nothing?’ ‘None.’ ‘Have you at least kissed someone before?’ he asks, sounding a little surprised, and I shake my head. ‘Never.’ ‘Have you masturbated?’ he asks bluntly, the question making me a little flustered. ‘I tried a couple times, but I never made myself… cum,’ I tell him shyly, the last word coming out quieter, and his eyes widen. ‘A couple times? Seriously? You’re, like… totally pure. Fuck, I don’t know if this is a good idea,’ he says slowly, making me panic again. ‘Hyunjin would’ve been perfect for this. I can’t take your first kiss, let alone have sex with you for the first time. Maybe I should ask Hyunjin to swap his schedule with me, he should be the one to do this,’ he says, as though he’s thinking out loud, and he pulls his phone out of his pocket.
Something makes me stop him, my hand reaching out to cover his phone without a second thought, and he looks up at me in surprise. ‘I… I want it to be you, though. This… might be a learning curve for you. Might be good for you to try something new,’ I say hesitantly, and Jisung raises an eyebrow. ‘You’re so innocent, sweetheart. The fact that you think that makes it even more obvious that it shouldn’t be me. You’re the perfect girl, y/n, and I’m not the perfect guy. Hyunjin is,’ he says, an echo of… sadness in his voice, and my heart goes out to him. ‘I don’t want the perfect guy, though. I know we only just met, like two minutes ago, but I want it to be you,’ I say quietly, and he just stares at me for a moment, in deep thought, before he sighs.
‘This isn’t a good idea,’ he murmurs gently, hand coming up to my face. ‘Losing my virginity to a sex demon of any kind isn’t a good idea, but I’m still doing it,’ I reply gently as he caresses my face tenderly, fingers splayed on my cheek and thumb resting on my bottom lip, and he lets out a little laugh. ‘Okay. If this is what you want, who am I to deny you? Just… remember to tell me if you need me to stop,’ he murmurs, hand still on my face, and I nod at him, trying to calm my nerves.
‘You’re… so fucking pretty. I’d love to fucking ruin you, sweetheart. Turn you from a pure innocent angel into a desperate little cockslut. Tease you and edge you and play with you for hours until you’re begging and crying for my cock, and then, only then, would I absolutely fucking ruin you. Make you cum so many times you can’t see straight, make you forget everything in the world other than my name,’ he says in a low voice, brown eyes becoming tinged with a red glow and hand tightening slightly on my face as he speaks, and I can feel my underwear dampening more and more with each word. I gulp loudly, trying to hide my arousal, but the sound knocks him out of his reverie, his eyes focused on mine.
‘You like the sound of that, huh, baby?’ he asks with a small smirk, and I can’t even bring myself to speak, just giving a quick embarrassed nod. ‘I can tell. I can smell you, how wet you are, how much you want me. Fuck, you’re so fucking innocent, sweetheart. A little bit of dirty talk, and you’ve melted in my hands. If I wasn’t so nice, I’d rip off your clothes, cover you in marks, make you squirm under me, have you screaming and crying and begging for me to let you cum, do anything and everything I wanted to do to you, baby, right this second. But I’m nice, so I won’t, because I’d probably make you pass out if I did. So we’ll start easy, and maybe, if you enjoy tonight… we can save that stuff for round 2, or maybe even round 3. Might be a little too intense for round 2,’ he says gently, and all I can do is nod, too embarrassed about the fact that the filth he’s just spoken about has turned me on so much.
‘Can I take the covers off you, angel? Wanna see you,’ he murmurs gently, and I hesitate. No boy has ever seen me in my underwear, and he must have seen so many naked women before, women that are much more beautiful than me. ‘Oh, no, sweetheart, don’t you dare start thinking things like that. You are fucking gorgeous. You think I’d be here if you weren’t?’ he asks, almost angrily, and my eyes widen with surprise. ‘I can… sense what you’re thinking. Not quite a mind reader, but your scent changes with your thoughts and emotions. So I know that you’re doubting yourself right now, when you shouldn’t. You’re so beautiful, angel,’ he says softly, and I feel a little better after his encouragement, nodding my permission.
The grin that transforms his face is so sexy – dark, and almost evil, but so sexy – and I focus on his handsome face when he takes the covers into his hands, slowly pulling them off me. ‘Sweetheart, you’re in a dressing gown,’ he says amusedly, and I look down at myself, realising that, yes, I am. ‘Oh. I forgot about that,’ I say sheepishly, hands moving to undo the satin cord that I have tied in a bow, but he moves my hands away. ‘Wait. Let me kiss you first,’ he whispers, eyes locked with mine, and he stills, waiting for my permission first. I take a deep breath before nodding, and a small smile lifts his lips up at the corners, his hands coming to rest on either side of my face. My eyes flutter shut when his face comes closer to mine, and it feels like a lifetime before his soft lips brush against mine briefly. My first kiss.
He pulls away, as though to check I’m okay with it, but I lean forward, following his lips, and he lets out a gentle chuckle when our mouths meet again. It’s a foreign feeling – that’s all I can think the first few seconds – and it doesn’t exactly feel amazing. It’s intimate, and comforting, I guess, but not as brilliant as the books and films make it out to be. And then he parts my lips with his, tongue slipping into my mouth, and the world melts away. Pleasure explodes inside me, my body lit aflame with hot desire, and it’s magic, absolute magic. The caress of his lips against mine is so soft, and the warmth from his mouth spreads through me, making me melt into him as my arms come around his shoulders.
The kiss quickly becomes more firm, passionate and hungry, and I just try to follow his lead, feeling my breathing quicken when his hands slide down my body and snake around my waist, pulling me closer to him as our mouths move in sync. His essence floods my senses, and all I can think is that he tastes, smells, feels like night. Crisp and comforting, dark and soft, with the calm of the moon and the beauty of the stars. I’m filled with lust, wanting to feel everything from him if he’s this good at kissing.
He eventually breaks away, leaving me breathless, and when I reopen my eyes, he’s grinning at me. ‘For a girl who’s never kissed someone before, you’re damn good at it,’ he observes, and I must admit, the praise gives me a confidence boost. At least that’s one less thing to worry about with Seonghwa. ‘I’m gonna take your dressing gown off now, okay?’ he says, hands still around my waist, and I nod, keeping my eyes on his as he pulls open the bow. My dressing gown falls open slightly and he slowly slips his hands under the satin, hands landing on my stomach, the contact sending a shiver down my spine.
His hands slide up my torso, quickly passing my boobs and making their way over my shoulders, taking the dressing gown with them, and the satin falls off me, pooling at my elbows which are bent around his shoulders. His breath catches in his throat as his eyes trawl over my exposed body, adorned in the black lace lingerie that Yeji made me buy a few weeks ago. ‘Fuck, wow, you’re so pretty,’ he breathes out, hands trailing down to my waist, ‘Sex God Seonghwa’s a lucky guy.’
He leans in again, my eyes fluttering shut when his lips press against mine, harsher and rougher this time. His hands slide around my back, pulling me down against the bed so he can hover over me as his tongue glides over mine, making me feel numb. He holds himself up with one forearm pressing into the bed beside me, hand curled up into a fist, whilst the other hand roams up and down the side of my body, the satin of my dressing gown gliding across my skin with each movement he makes. He pulls my bottom lip between his teeth, so hard that I feel him drawing blood, and my mind turns to mush as he laves his tongue over where blood blooms from the sensitive skin, making me let out a gentle whimper against his lips.
‘Fuck, you’re so cute,’ he says against my lips, voice laced with amusement as he rolls us over so that I lay atop him, my body fitting into his like puzzle pieces. His hands slide down my back, squeezing my ass and making me let out a little gasp into his mouth. ‘You sound so pretty, baby,’ he says as he breaks away from me, lips landing on my jaw and slowly trailing down my neck. He sucks and bites at my skin as he travels down my body, leaving faint marks in his wake. I let out shaky whimpers and whines as he kisses and bites my skin, fingers tangled into his soft blond locks.
His mouth trails past my chest and down my tummy, and my stomach clenches with nerves when he reaches the waistband of my pants, the boy stilling and looking up at me with his big eyes. ‘Are you nervous, angel?’ he asks softly, and I hesitate before nodding, feeling like an idiot, and his lips quirk up into a small smile. He lifts himself up into a sitting position and pulls my legs into his lap, running his hands up and down them soothingly. ‘Stop feeling embarrassed about being nervous. It’s normal – you’re not weird. Just relax,’ he says gently, and I nod, trying to take his words on board. It’s normal. It’s totally normal.
He removes my legs from his lap and moves up the bed, sitting beside me with his back against the headboard. ‘Come sit here, sweetheart,’ he says, patting the space between his legs, and I move myself into the space, my hands resting on his thighs as he snakes his arms around me, pulling my back against his front. I feel his lips land on my neck, making me tilt my head to allow him better access, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of his kisses, and his hands slide down my stomach and under my legs. He pulls my legs up to bend at the knee before slipping his hands between my thighs, parting them. ‘You know the colour system?’ he asks, and I hesitate before replying, ‘yeah. Green to say I’m good, yellow to say I need a break, and red to say I need to stop.’ ‘Good girl,’ he replies, rewarding me with a gentle kiss on my cheek.
‘I’m gonna finger you, baby, loosen you up and prep you for my cock. Is that okay?’ he murmurs against my ear, arousal flooding my underwear as I nod. ‘Words, sweetheart. I wanna hear that you’re okay with it,’ he prompts, and I breathe out, ‘yes. It’s okay.’ His hand slips down between my legs, fingertips gliding across my saturated underwear, making me shiver in his arms. ‘Oh, angel, you’re so wet,’ he whispers in wonder, my breaths already becoming shaky with his finger gently running up and down my pants. He doesn’t waste much time before sliding his hand beneath my underwear, his teasing promptly finishing with his fingers gliding across my wet folds. He quickly finds my clit, finger pressing against the bud, and I let out a high whimper, head falling back against him.
He lets out a gentle chuckle, warm breath fanning across my exposed neck as he rubs at my clit in slow circles, exhilaration filling me. He quickly becomes bored, moving his hand out of my pants and opting to pull them aside instead, exposing my glistening wet pussy to the cool air of the room, a shudder running through me. He slides a finger in slowly, my body reacting to the unfamiliar intrusion by clenching my walls around him, and he doesn’t move at all for a few moments, letting me getting used to the unusual feeling.
‘Fuck, you’re so tight. Gonna break my finger. Shit, can’t wait to stretch out this tight little virgin cunt,’ he whispers against my ear, cutting my whine short when he starts to slowly slide his finger in and out of me. The feeling soon starts to become pleasurable rather than weird, my walls not clenching as hard so as to let his finger in, and he takes advantage of it, sliding in another finger with the first. ‘Jisung!’ I moan out desperately, eyes falling shut at the feeling of him rocking two thick fingers into me, arousal gushing out onto his skin.
He curls his fingers inside me, the intense pleasure making me clamp my thighs shut around his hand as I whine, and he chuckles, pushing them apart. He hooks one leg with his own, keeping it restrained from meeting the other, which he holds with a strong hand, cold rings digging into my skin. ‘So sensitive, sweetheart,’ he says amusedly, curling his fingers again and hitting the spot inside me that makes me whine his name pathetically. And then he begins to rub his palm against my clit with each movement of his hand, making me lose my mind, my mouth falling open as my head presses into his shoulder, back arching away from him.
I squirm between his legs, but he holds me in place, fingers continuing to thrust into me at a gradually quickening pace, whine after whimper slipping out from my lips as Jisung whispers filth into my ear. ‘Look at you, baby, grinding down on my hand. Feels good, huh?’ he asks in a cocky tone and, sure enough, when I force myself to open my eyes, I see that I’m grinding against his fingers unconsciously, each movement of my hips resulting in his hand brushing my clit and sending a gentle wave of pleasure through me. ‘So good, Jisung, so good. Want more,’ I whine, and he chuckles, pressing his lips to my neck and sucking the skin into his mouth, making my eyes flutter shut once again.
‘You want more? Don’t tempt me, angel, because I could give you a lot more right now. We’re taking it slow, remember?’ he whispers against my skin, but the words barely go in, my focus on unfamiliar feeling of my stomach tightening. ‘Jisung, I feel weird,’ I say, feeling nervous, and he lets out a gentle laugh against my neck. ‘You’re getting close to your orgasm, sweetheart,’ he tells me amusedly, the revelation making my eyes widen. I’ve never heard of a girl having an orgasm her first time. ‘Baby, you really thought I was gonna leave without making you cum a couple times? I’m not like those pathetic little human boys. I know how to make a girl feel good, angel, so good she’ll only ever want me. We’ll see how Sex God Seonghwa compares, huh?’ he laughs arrogantly, fingers beginning to pump in and out of me furiously fast, obscene squelching filling my ears along with my own high-pitched whimpers and moans.
‘I’m gonna…’ I breathe out between moans, clenching around his finger sporadically as my body twitches against his, and I can feel him grinning against my skin. ‘That’s a good girl, cum over my fingers for me, angel. It’s gonna feel so good, baby, just let go. Cum for me, y/n,’ he murmurs softly, voice just about discernible over my loud moaning, and when he begins rubbing at my clit with his free hand as he curls his fingers inside me, I feel the knot in my stomach undo itself.
I cry out his name as my vision blurs, walls clenching around his fingers and holding them in place with an iron-like grip. He works me through my orgasm with quick circles at my clit, lips sucking and biting at my skin, providing me with a gentle bliss in comparison to the intense pleasure burning low in my stomach. When I feel myself coming back down from my high, I let out a gentle sigh, body relaxing back into his, and he slowly pulls his hand from inside me. I crane my neck to watch as he lifts his hand to his mouth, slipping the fingers that were inside me into his mouth, eyes closing as he lets out a low groan. ‘You taste so sweet, even sweeter than you smell,’ he says once he’s pulled his fingers out of his mouth, sliding his arms around my body and pressing his lips to mine in a brief kiss.
‘How did I do?’ I ask, voice coming out a little quieter and hoarser than I expected, and he lets out a gentle laugh. ‘So well, angel. You took it so well. Like a pro,’ he says in a tender voice, holding me close in his arms, and I find it hard to believe this guy is a hard dom. He’s a total softie. ‘You did well too,’ I say to try and deflect from how I’m preening at the praise, and he laughs as though I’ve surprised it out of him.
‘No, don’t laugh! I’m being serious! You were super soft and gentle and nice to me,’ I tell him, and he nods, lips curled up with amusement. ‘It took a lot of self-restraint, believe me. If you weren’t so… fragile, and delicate, I’d have shoved my cock in you before you’d even finished cumming,’ he says, gentle tone a total contrast to the words that come out of his mouth, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘Are you sure? You seem… relaxed. Not worked up at all,’ I say honestly, trying not to let on that I feel a little embarrassed about how calm he is (aren’t boys supposed to get all riled up and desperate the second they see your bra?), and he raises an eyebrow in return.
Without warning, he grinds against my back, and I feel something hard poke against me, making my eyes widen. ‘Does that feel like I’m relaxed, baby? Does that feel like I’m not worked up?’ he whispers, eyes flickering red, and I’m rendered speechless for a moment. He must have been so uncomfortable, pleasuring me whilst he was that hard in those tight jeans. ‘Let me help you,’ I breathe out, and his lips quirk up. ‘Help me?’ ‘Mmhmm. Tell me… tell me what to do. Wanna make you feel as good as you made me feel,’ I say softly, and he grins at me. ‘You’re so sweet, angel. I feel bad doing this with you. Feel like I’m… corrupting you. Tainting your pure soul,’ he murmurs, eyes flitting from my eyes to my lips and back up to my eyes, mouth curled at the corners as though he doesn’t feel as bad about it as he claims to. ‘Maybe I want you to… corrupt me, and taint me,’ I whisper, and his grin grows even wider, eyes flashing red and making my stomach turn. ‘Well, I suppose… your wish is my command, baby.’
I turn over and sit on my knees, eyes wandering down to between his legs, and the massive bulge in his jeans makes my heart stop for a moment, Jisung smirking at my reaction, leaning back against the headboard with his arms behind his head, as though he owns the place. I realise then that he’s expecting a blowjob that’s at least half decent, and I don’t know the first thing about giving a blowjob except for the fact that it goes into my mouth and I suck on it (I think?). ‘Want me to talk you through it, sweetheart?’ he asks, voice soft, and I know he can sense my uncertainty. He lets out a gentle chuckle when I nod, trying to hide my embarrassment.
‘Unzip my jeans, angel,’ he prompts, and I shuffle forward, slowly reaching for the zip on his jeans, and pulling it down carefully. He lifts his hips up from the bed, and I get the message, slipping my fingers beneath the waistband of his jeans, tugging them down along with his boxers, leaving them bunched at the tops of his thighs. My eyes widen when I see his cock, the long, thick length springing up against his clothed t-shirt, the tip red and swollen with small beads of precum leaking from it. I can feel his eyes on me, watching my reaction with thinly veiled amusement, and I try to hide my… surprise.
Every cock I’ve ever seen before has always been kinda ugly – all those unsolicited dick pics taken in shitty lighting with feet in the background always made me feel a little sick – but Jisung’s is… a little different. My mouth actually waters looking at it – it’s the most aesthetically pleasing dick I’ve ever seen. ‘Take it into your hand, sweetheart, and spread my precum over the tip so it’s not totally dry. Or the friction will hurt,’ he instructs in a gentle tone, as though he’s telling me the steps of a recipe or reading from the manual of an Ikea wardrobe.
I do as he says, taking his cock into my hands and using my thumb to spread around the precum, feeling a little bit of pride when his breath catches in his throat, his body tensing very slightly. ‘That’s it, that’s a good girl. Okay, now put the tip in your mouth, just swirl your tongue around it a little and suck on it,’ he says, and I nod, taking a deep breath before lowering my head to his cock. Yeji gave me some advice before leaving earlier, and so I do as she told me, pressing a kiss to the tip, and he lets out a shaky laugh, followed by, ‘you’re so fucking cute, baby.’
I take the swollen head of his cock into my mouth, his salty precum gliding across my taste buds as I slowly swirl my tongue around him like he’s a lollipop, before gently sucking. ‘Yeah, that’s it, angel, good job. Fuck, that feels nice,’ he murmurs, hands coming to tangle into my hair, pulling it back from my face. I carry on doing what I’m doing for a little while, his little sighs and shaky breaths making me feel like I must be doing it right, and then I look up at him for guidance on what to do next.
‘Lick underneath from the base to the tip – feels good on the vein,’ he says, sounding slightly breathless, and I’m surprised he’s so worked up from having a virgin suck on his cock for a few seconds. I do as he says, placing my tongue at the base of his dick and dragging it along the vein on the underside of his cock, and when I reach the tip, I kitten lick the slit where he’s leaking with precum. ‘Ah, shit, you’re good at this, baby. Sure you haven’t done it before?’ he asks, voice twisting into a groan when I sink my mouth onto him, sucking on the tip briefly before taking him back out with a pop.
‘My friend gave me some tips,’ I say, deciding not to tell him about how she demonstrated with a banana, and made me copy her. Yeah, it’d probably ruin the moment. ‘Good tips. You don’t even need me to talk you through it.’ ‘No, no, I do need you to!’ I say hastily, not wanting to be in the deep end without any arm bands, and he lets out a gentle laugh. ‘Okay, okay. You gotta take me as far into your mouth as you can, angel, okay? Just wanna see how much you can take,’ he says gently, and I nod, readying myself as I duck my head. I take his tip into my mouth and slowly sink further down onto his length, until he hits the back of my throat. He’s so big, too big, and I feel like I’m suffocating, a gag forcing its way up my throat.
‘That’s not all you can take, is it, y/n? Come on, baby, surely you can do better than that?’ he teases as I try to stop myself from gagging again, and I realise that there’s still a few inches of him I haven’t managed to take in. ‘Take me out, sweetheart,’ he says, and relief floods through me, making me pull my mouth off him instantly, holding him with my fingertips as I gulp down air. ‘That’s it, take a nice, deep breath. Good girl. This time, breathe through your nose,’ he tells me, and I nod, preparing myself to take him into my mouth again.
I wrap my lips around his length and slide my mouth down onto him, desperately holding back a gag when he hits the back of my throat again. ‘Okay, good girl. Now swallow – it’ll let you take me further,’ he instructs, and I inhale deeply through my nose before swallowing, his tip inching down my throat. ‘Good job, baby, well done. You gonna suck for me, now?’ he asks, and I nod, sucking on his length and bobbing my head up and down like Yeji taught me, tugging on what I can’t fit into my mouth in my hands gently. ‘That’s it, angel – fuck, just like that,’ he urges, and I try my hardest to maintain eye contact with him, looking up through teary lashes.
I continue at a steady pace, gradually taking more of him in as my throat gets used to the intrusion, and I feel myself thinking that this isn’t… the most pleasant experience. I mean, I’m not getting much air, he’s tugging on my hair quite hard, his cock is so thick that my jaw is already starting to ache, and I feel a bit dirty with the way saliva drips down my chin. But his reactions make it all worth it. He lets out soft grunts and groans, the blood vessels in his neck protruding with the strain of holding himself back – I assume – and his head is thrown back against the headboard.
‘Ah, shit, you’re so good, baby. Feels so good,’ he groans, and I can feel that he’s slowly losing his resolve – his hips twitch every now and then, forcing him even further into my mouth, and his grip on my hair becomes harsher and harsher, his moaning becoming more and more frequent. I’m trying my best to keep up with him, keep him satisfied, but it’s clear he wants more. It’s only a matter of time before he takes control.
He grips onto the roots of my hair, hard, and he begins to thrust into my mouth. My eyes begin to water as he lets out curses and moans, hips bucking up frantically, and I try my hardest to throat him and hold back gags. He suddenly pulls out, and I take the moment to gasp for air, feeling him grinning at me. ‘That’s it, angel, breathe. Gonna fuck this pretty little mouth,’ he says, barely giving me a chance to do as he says before he pulls me back down onto his cock, the tip sliding against my tongue and hitting the back of my mouth harshly, a loud gag forcing its way up my throat as I look up at him, his eyebrow raised.
‘Come on, baby, you can take more than that. Can’t you?’ he asks amusedly, and I want nothing more than to please him, to impress him, and I try to hum out a response, the vibrations making him buck further into my throat with a low groan. ‘One tap on my thigh for yellow, two taps for green. Practice,’ he instructs, and I rush to do so, tapping once, and then tapping twice, before looking up at him for praise. ‘Good girl. Well done,’ he murmurs, pride swelling within me, and he takes the moment of me being distracted to start the onslaught on my mouth.
Using the hands tangled in my hair, he pushes my head down onto him, all the way so my nose hits his skin, and I choke around him as he thrusts in and out of my mouth, treating me like I’m just a hole for his pleasure. Maybe he’s not such a softie. ‘So good for me, baby, letting me fuck your mouth like this. Love hearing you choke on my cock,’ he groans, tears streaming down my face as I throat his entire length, nose hitting the soft skin of his groin with each of his thrusts, loud gags and chokes making their way out of my mouth every time he hits the back of my throat.
‘So pretty with my cock in your throat,’ he grunts, dick beginning to twitch in my mouth which, according to Yeji, means that he’s getting close, and I moan around him at his words, the vibrations making him moan out too, the sound heavenly. ‘Doing so well, sweetheart, taking me like such a good girl. You like choking on my cock, huh?’ he asks, and I realise that, yes, I do like it. It’s painful and I’m desperate for a deep breath, but listening to him moan makes me wanna suck his cock for hours on end. ‘Love it,’ I mumble around his cock, the words just about discernible, and he chuckles. ‘Gonna turn you into my little cock-hungry slut, always desperate to suck me. Is that what you want, angel? Wanna be my little cockslut?’ he asks, and I mindlessly moan at his words, arousal dripping out from me as I feel my head getting light with a lack of oxygen.
‘Shit, I’m close. Gonna let me cum in your mouth, sweetheart?’ he asks, and I hum out permission, his pace increasing again, and my neck hurts from the way he bobs my head up and down on him, my jaw also aching from the girth of his cock. His thrusts are becoming messy, hips jerking erratically as his cock twitches in my mouth, and I suddenly remember a piece of Yeji’s advice. I lift my hand from where it rests on the bed and reach for his balls, rolling them in my palm, playing with them to bring him to his edge. ‘Fuck, y/n, I’m gonna-’ he groans, words cut off with a loud moan as he pushes my head down onto his cock and cums, his hot and thick release hitting the back of my throat. He thrusts shallowly through his orgasm, my hand still playing with his balls, and it’s like he has an endless amount of cum, my mouth full of it when he pulls out, a little bit of it trickling down my chin.
‘Open your mouth,’ he says, and I tilt my head back slightly, opening my mouth to let him see his release. ‘And swallow it all for me.’ I let it glide across my taste buds, and it tastes… fruity, almost – a little hint of sweetness in it. I swallow it down in one big gulp and open my mouth to show him, a smug grin settling on his face. ‘Come here,’ he says, holding out his arms and I practically fall into them, letting him pull me against his chest. ‘You did such a good job, angel. I’m sorry for going so rough on you – I lost control a little bit – but you took it so well, baby,’ he says tenderly, hands rubbing soothing circles on my back through my dressing gown.
‘No, it’s okay. Don’t apologise. I… liked it,’ I say shyly, my voice very hoarse, and he lets out a gentle laugh. ‘I know you did, sweetheart, I could smell you getting wetter and wetter the entire time. You can’t even smell it, but your scent is… fucking amazing. I felt drunk on it. The harder I went on you, the stronger your scent was, which made me go even harder. It was a vicious cycle,’ he says amusedly, and I giggle into his chest.
He holds me for a little while, my head buried in his chest and tucked beneath his chin, his hands drawing patterns on my back, and this intimacy I’ve never felt before is just so nice, but I feel myself getting a little… eager, and he must feel it too. ‘You want me to fuck you, baby? Or wanna wait a bit?’ he asks quietly, and I can’t answer quick enough; ‘want you to fuck me.’ ‘You do, huh? Is that how you ask?’ he teases, and I think for a moment before replying in a small voice, ‘please fuck me, Jisung. Just want you.’
‘So forward, angel,’ he murmurs, making me feel even more humiliated than I already am, my face heating up. ‘Don’t be embarrassed. I like you all needy and cute,’ he breathes out, hands coming to my dressing gown and pulling it off me. ‘You’re so beautiful,’ he tells me, throwing the satin gown to the floor before he presses his lips to mine in a quick and hot kiss, lying me down so my head rests on the soft pillow. He climbs up from the bed and I can’t stop myself from watching as he quickly undresses himself, pulling his t-shirt over his head to reveal tan skin pulled tight over hard abs and biceps, and pushing his jeans down his legs to reveal smooth, lean legs. He keeps his underwear on, a grin on his face as he joins me on the bed, climbing over me.
His hands slip beneath my back, fingers coming to the clasp of my bra, and it snaps me into reality, making me panic. ‘Don’t worry, sweetheart. You’re so beautiful. Wanna see all of you… if you’ll let me. What’s your colour?’ he asks, and I hesitate. I could end this all now – surely I’ve got enough experience for Seonghwa, and he’ll probably be too drunk or high to even look at my body the way Jisung wants to. But I find myself wanting to. Not for the experience but… because it’s Jisung. I want him to see me, and I want to see him… feel him.
‘Green,’ I whisper, his lips curling into a grin as he unclasps my bra, helping me to pull it off. He throws it over his shoulder and doesn’t instantly ogle my chest as I expected, instead ducking his head to add to the marks that are already beginning to purple. He slowly kisses down to my chest, lips attaching to one hard nipple and sucking on it as he takes my other breast into his hand, alternating between tugging at the nipple and groping it gently. I let out gentle whines, his attention on my breasts making my head light, and he brings his mouth the other nipple, swapping his hand to spread the saliva he left behind across the soft flesh of my breast.
‘Such pretty tits, angel. Wanna worship your body,’ he murmurs as he leans back with an admiring gaze, my nipples hard and peaked in the cool air. ‘But that’ll have to wait. Wanna fuck you more,’ he grins, hands sliding down from my chest to my underwear, checking with me again that I’m okay with it. ‘You can take them off,’ I breathe out and he wastes no time before tugging them down. He runs his hands up my legs before slipping them between my thighs, slowly parting them with his eyes on me to watch my reactions, to make sure I’m okay. When I don’t react, his gaze flits to between my legs, eyes darkening.
‘Fuck, such a pretty little pussy. Soaking wet. So tiny, and tight. How am I gonna fit in you, baby?’ he muses teasingly, and I feel desperation seeping into me, my hands reaching down to his and guiding them towards where I need him. ‘Please. Need it, Jisung, please,’ I whimper pathetically, and he lets out a gentle laugh, warm breath fanning across my stomach. ‘What do you need, y/n?’ he asks, and I whine, too embarrassed to say the words. His fingers appear at my folds, gliding between them and gathering up my arousal before he pushes two in, making me moan with the stretch. ‘I asked you what you need, angel,’ he prompts, voice less light, and I whimper as he scissors his fingers inside me, trying to loosen me. ‘Please, Jisung, want you to fuck me. Wanna feel your cock in me, want you to stretch me out, make me cum,’ I mumble distractedly, saying what I need to say to get what I want, and I hear him take a shaky breath.
‘Dirty girl. Pretended to be so innocent when you’re really a dirty little slut desperate for cock, huh? So desperate for Sex God Seonghwa’s cock that you’ll lose your virginity demon. Such a little whore,’ he murmurs, and even though his words should hurt, all I can do is moan, feeling more arousal gush out around his fingers. ‘You really want me to fuck you? Little angel wants a good fucking?’ he teases, the pace of his fingers thrusting into me quickening, and my hips buck up against him as I whine, ‘yes, want it, Jisung, want it so bad.’
‘Want me to stuff my fat cock into this little virgin cunt? Stretch out your tight little pussy, fuck you so hard you can’t walk, fill you up with my cum?’ he asks, voice strained as he fucks his fingers into me, and I squirm on the bed desperately, needing to feel him. ‘Yes, Jisung, please, want it so bad,’ I whimper pathetically, and he pulls his fingers out of me, lifting them to his fingers and licking them clean, making my stomach turn with arousal. ‘Not as much of an angel as I thought,’ he considers with a small smirk, eyes trawling over my body indulgently as I lie there, on display for him.
He climbs over me, pushing down his boxers and tugging on his length with one hand, anticipation filling me. ‘Legs around my waist, sweetheart,’ he murmurs, suddenly nice again, and I do so, hooking them together at the ankles, giving him full access to my core. ‘Ready? It might hurt a little, okay, so use your colours if you need to, angel,’ he says tenderly, and I nod, feeling a little bit of anxiety grow in my chest.
He runs the tip of his rock hard cock up and down my folds teasingly, spreading his precum over me, before he slowly pushes in. I try my hardest to stay quiet, to brave the pain of the burning stretch, but I can’t help the little yelp that escapes my lips. ‘You okay?’ ‘Hurts, Jisung,’ I whisper, tears appearing in my eyes, and his face softens. ‘The tip’s the worst bit, angel, and it’s nearly in. Want me to hold on a minute?’ he asks, and I think before shaking my head. ‘It’s okay, you can… go all the way in,’ I say gently, and he gives me a gentle smile, ducking his head to my collarbones to press soothing kisses on my skin as he pushes further in. I whimper in pain, tears sliding down my face, because it hurts, so fucking bad. My walls are clenching around him, desperately trying to get his cock out of me, and my head is starting to get a little dizzy with the pain, crying audibly now as I clutch onto his strong back.
‘You’re doing so well, angel, so fucking well. Colour?’ he asks, and I sob out, ‘yellow.’ He instantly stops moving and I try my best to stop clenching around him, eventually becoming used to the stretch as my walls relax a little, Jisung kissing away my tears and whispering gentle praise against my skin. ‘Okay, green. You can move now,’ I breathe out, voice hoarse and he presses a little kiss to my lips. ‘Good girl. I’m nearly in. But don’t look. Just trust me,’ he says quickly, and I raise an eyebrow at him. ‘How much left?’ I ask, and he winces. ‘About half,’ he replies, and I feel my face fall as he sighs. ‘We can sto-’ ‘No, no. I want it. Want you,’ I whisper, and he nods with a small smile.
He suddenly slips two fingers into my mouth, making me look at him in confusion. ‘Suck on my fingers to distract you from the pain,’ he says, and I nod, doing as he says and tasting something sweet on his skin, realising with a start that it’s my own arousal I can taste. He begins pushing further in, slowly, and it doesn’t hurt as much now, the stretch only burning a little. I can feel it when he bottoms out, a sigh of relief escaping my lips, and he grins at me. ‘You’ve done so well, angel, I’m so proud of you. Tell me when I can move,’ he says, and I nod, taking a few deep breaths. It takes a little while to get used to being so full, and arousal suddenly fills me at the thought that he’s buried in me balls-deep, my walls clenching tightly around him.
I don’t realise the effect it’s having on him until he speaks, taking me by surprise. ‘Fuck, y/n, you gotta stop clenching around me. Gonna make me cum quick like I’m the fucking virgin here. Can I- fuck, I gotta move. Can I move? Need to fuck you,’ he pleads, voice strained, his head resting on my shoulder and his hand digging into my waist, and I’m shocked at how… submissive he sounds, begging me to fuck me. He’s got all the power here – he could fuck me dumb right now – but he’s asking me for permission. It’s so hot that I nearly moan out at his words, pussy gushing with arousal. ‘Yes, you can move, please. Fuck, please move,’ I whimper around his fingers, the words coming out all garbled, and I’m so desperate for him now.
He removes his fingers from my mouth, both hands digging into my waist now, and he doesn’t waste much time before pulling out slightly and rolling his hips against mine, making me let out a moan of his name. I can sense he’s restraining himself – opting to thrust shallowly rather than slamming into me as I’d expected him to do – and it seems it’s taking every inch of his self-control to do so, his entire body tensed and little grunts falling from his lips. ‘You’re so fucking tight, angel. Wanna pound your tight little virgin cunt,’ he groans, and my head falls back against the pillow. ‘Do it, please. Want you to ruin me,’ I beg, and he lets out a strangled moan. ‘Use your colours if it’s too much,’ he forces out, waiting for the reply with a small, ‘okay’ before he loses himself.
He pulls all the way out of me before slamming back in, my mouth falling open in a silent scream as he lets out a moan of my name. He sets a bruisingly fast pace, the bed hitting the wall loudly with each of his thrusts. ‘So fucking tight around me. Gonna stretch out this tiny little cunt, gonna make you my little cockslut,’ he growls, forcing the words out with effort, his energy being taken up by thrusting into me, and it’s the most painful pleasure I’ve ever felt. I’m rendered speechless, unable to make a noise other than the little breaths that escape my lips, not even having enough sanity to moan for him.
One of his hands comes to my throat, roughly squeezing my airways and cutting off my breathing, making me choke and gasp as he hammers into me, heavy balls slapping against my damp skin. My nails dig hard into the skin of his back, the soreness between my legs slowly melting away into unadulterated pleasure, tears dripping down my face as a release for how overwhelmed I am. ‘Fuck, need to go deeper,’ he grunts, grabbing one of my legs and moving it between our bodies, the ankle resting on his shoulder, and this new angle allows him to go even deeper, brushing against the spongy spot inside me and making me let out a loud shriek of his name.
‘Found your voice, angel? Thought I’d fucked you stupid. But my good little slut can handle it, right? You can take my cock in this tiny virgin pussy, can’t you, baby?’ he growls, and my eyes roll back at the feeling of his cock dragging against my walls deliciously. Obscene squelching and skin slapping against skin fills the room along with my moans and whimpers, and his grunts and groans, the smell of sex heavy on the air as he abuses my pussy, the pleasure that’s coursing through my veins drowning out the pain of how much my body is straining to accommodate him.
‘Fucking gushing around me. Soaking my cock little a good little slut. Bet you’ve dreamed of being fucked like this, huh? Tried to fill your little pussy with your fingers, imagining yourself as a desperate little whore stuffed with a fat cock? Am I right, angel? Not as innocent as you pretend to be, huh? Just needed someone to come corrupt you,’ he growls against my ear, cock hammering into me relentlessly, my walls clenching around him as he lowers his mouth to my neck, kissing beneath where his hand is still gripping me tightly, my head light with the lack of air. He obviously takes my unrestrained moaning as an answer, pushing me down into the mattress and pounding into me bruisingly hard.
‘So fucking tight around me, baby, I can’t cope. Wanna stay buried in this tiny little pussy forever. Scream out my name, angel. Let everyone in your block know how good I’m making you feel, how hard I’m fucking your tight cunt. Let them know you’re not the pure little girl you claim to be,’ he growls, loosening his hold on my throat, and I can’t help but do as he says, crying his name repeatedly like a mantra. I can feel the knot in my stomach tightening again, knowing my orgasm is approaching again, my walls clenching around him and my nails raking down his back viciously. ‘You’re close, huh, angel? You gonna cum for me? Gonna soak my cock like a good little slut? Come on, baby, cum for me. Cum all over my cock,’ he prompts, hand snaking down to rub at my clit, and when he hits the spot inside me head-on, I reach my high.
I scream out his name, so loud and raw that it feels like it’s being torn out of my throat, my own voice filling my ears as I cum around him, walls clenched around him so tightly that he can’t move, and so he rubs at my clit to prolong my orgasm, release gushing out around him. White hot bliss courses through me, my vision completely blurring as tears stream down my face, mouth hanging open as I rake my nails down his back, breaking the skin.
When I finally begin coming down from an intense high, my walls loosening around him, he starts to chase his own high, no concern for me beneath him. He slams into me, again and again, the bed probably denting the wall, and I feel overstimulation setting in, making me sob as I thrash beneath him. But he doesn’t care, one hand pressing into the bed and the other reappearing at my neck, pushing me down into the mattress as he fucks into me, grunts and groans falling from his lips, and when my vision finally clears, I nearly cum again at the sight of him.
His blond hair is stuck to his forehead with sweat, his skin drenched with perspiration, a glistening honey colour, mouth open and letting out whispers of my name, lips swollen and shining. His eyes are glowing red, blood red, and his face is flushed, contorted with pleasure. His biceps ripples with the effort of thrusting into me, desperate whines escaping his lips as he chases his high, body tensed and strong. He looks like sin incarnate.
He’s nearing his orgasm, I think – his dick is twitching inside me, and I tighten around him, his hips stuttering with erratic thrusts. ‘Fuck, angel, I’m gonna cum! Gonna cum in your tight little pussy! So good for me, baby, so good,’ he moans loudly, making my lips curl proudly, before he buries himself deep in me, head dropping to my neck as he lets out a cry of, ‘shit, y/n, I’m gonna cum!’ He bites down on my skin as he cums, his thick release painting my insides. And there’s so much of it, an endless amount of cum flooding into me, and my sensitive walls fluttering around him help prolong his high, milking his cock for all he has as he whines desperately, thrusting shallowly.
Once he’s done, he pulls his softened cock out of me, looking down at me with concern all over his face. His eyes have returned to their warm chocolate brown, and they’re full of worry. ‘I’m so sorry, y/n, I wasn’t supposed to be that rough. Are you okay?’ he asks, and I just smile tiredly. ‘I’m fine, Jisung. I would’ve stopped you if it was too much, but it was perfect,’ I reply, a yawn interrupting my last few words, and he heaves a sigh of relief. ‘If you say so, angel. But still, I shouldn’t have been that rough. Hyunjin’s gonna kill me,’ he mutters before leaning down to press a kiss to my sore lips.
‘Right, let’s clean you up,’ he murmurs, and I’m already half asleep when he climbs off me, pulling his underwear back up over his cock. He scoops me up into his arms, carrying me to the bathroom, and he makes me do a wee first, so I don’t get a UTI. I nearly fall asleep on the toilet. Then he carries me back into bed and cleans over my whole body with a soft towel, soaking up all the tears and sweat and cum.
‘You’ve done so well, angel, such a good job. You can sleep now,’ he whispers as he pulls the covers over me, but I grab his hand when he turns to leave, barely able to keep my eyes open enough to look at him. ‘Are you leaving?’ I mumble, and he lets out a soft laughs. ‘Why? Want me to stay?’ ‘Yes. Please,’ I breathe out with the last bit of energy I have, and he sighs gently, hesitating before he climbs into bed with me. I instantly curl into him and he chuckles, pulling me into his arms. I just about feel the kiss he presses to my forehead before I drift off to sleep.
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romeulusroy · 3 years
Text
Parting Gift (Sam Wilson Oneshot)
Character/s: Sam
Word Count: 1,411
Tag List: @dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt @myriadimagines @lilyswritings @encounterthepast @writerdream22 @brithedemonspawn @megnotfound @ladyeliot @locke-writes @thedarkqueenofavalon @fangirlsarah16 @randomfandomimagine @amirahiddleston @diana-westmoon @valkyrie-2312
A/N: This was supposed to be fluffy, but the closest I can get to that is melancholy lol. The weathers been nice and it got me feeling nostalgic for summer. I hope this gives off that vibe, if that makes sense? Sam just seemed perfect for this and I kinda love this :) It doesn't exactly fit the timeline, but oh well :P There are only Endgame spoilers, none with TFATWS. I can't thank you enough for letting me rest with my health/writing and posting in general. I hope you like it! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💖💜
Summary: You finally got him back 💌
Gif Credit: @biwilson / link 💕
FIC MASTERLISTS 1 -> 3 /WANNA BE ADDED TO THE TAG LIST?
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The low hum of the fan stirs in the quiet heat, restless, a lullaby you've grown used to since the season thawed. The snow puddles disappearing from the hot sidewalks, the grass growing green, the layers shedding around you until there is nothing but skin and the cool air that kisses it. It's old and shaky, the blades twisted, the fixture rattling, threatening to fall from the ceiling with every spin. Another chore you simply never got around to fixing, neglected much like the rest of the house. Like you, it was lucky it was still standing. The floors cried and creaked, needing to be replaced, but where was the time? The paint chipped, falling flake by flake, the shelves in need of dusting, the lawn grown too long, things were rusted, ruining, aging. Everything crooked, leaning, too heavy to stand on its own. One in the same, you and it, a reflection of your inner world, your inner turmoil, your grief defying, humanizing, materializing in rusted pipes, in thorny bushes, and weeds sprouting in the cracks of the sidewalks.
It was your dream. An escape. A slice of heaven he plucked from the skies. At least, that's how he'd described it. His hand, warm and calloused, over your eyes, letting your suspicions get the better of you, questioning like a child. What color was the door? How many windows? Was there a backyard? A steadiness in his voice you knew was not as solid as he showed, leading you past the street, past your new neighbors, the shade of the trees making your skin prickle. Up the path, you tried counting your own steps, anything to cheat the system. A leap of faith, you put so nicely. A house he passed by, one that struck him, caught his eye in a way nothing ever had. You? A house? Romanticized by the shoe box apartments the city had to offer, you never pictured any other life. Not out of opposition, but sheer innocence, a passive, thoughtless gesture you'd never recognized until the opportunity came along. Little convincing, it took. Somewhere far away from danger, from life, where you would always be safe together. That was enough. Always would be.
A fixer upper, that's what it was. Someone to care for in their old age, a long forgotten space only one with a heart of gold could fall for. Whether you were speaking of you, or the house, he'd never get the chance to ask. Where he saw the two of you, together, watching the rain pour from outside, comforted by a warm kitchen, a grand bedroom, nooks you could fill with hints of yourselves, you saw a slanted driveway, an unkempt garden, leaky ceilings and no hot water. He had hope. Dripped in honey,band hope, his voice sang through the thin walls, a symphony of ideas, of dreams for what it would one day be, taking you by the hand, leading you through. A maze of projects, big and small, things you'd add to a list of infinite length, your pen running out of ink long before you ever reached the bottom. For now, a coat of paint, a bucket or two for the leaks. He promised you, in the middle of an empty house, that it would one day be your home. You trusted him, because he was so sure of it, unlike anything else before.
You watched him sleep, the two of you facing one another. The sheets long discarded, too warm to even touch. You could follow the rise and fall of his back, the way in which he held the pillow to him, as if scared to let go. Tracing every line of him with your eyes, taking note of every single change, drinking him up every second you had together. The beads of sweat across his hairline. The upturn of his mouth, a whisper of a smile, as if caught in a sweet dream. The lines you see in yourself not yet reflected in him. Untouched by time. Five years could turn into a lifetime with the right kind of loneliness.
Plastic stuck to the furniture, bloated, sweaty, patiently waiting to be unwrapped. You couldn't bear to look at it, any of it, turning away from entire rooms, going only where it was necessary, using what you needed, not ready to face this place alone. It wasn't that first day, where your things, tightened by the city smog and lack of breathing room, were scattered wherever they might fit, left to expand in their new environment. The kitchen table in the living room. Chairs in the hallway. A couch discarded by the window, blocking the natural light. For the time being, he promised. Too many boxes to count, filled to the brim of glasses and mugs, wedding pictures and high school yearbooks, things you thought you needed, and things you knew you did. All of it wrapped in plastic, paper, t-shirts and towels. Whatever you could find to protect it. Sleeping on the floor those first few days, the mattress late, the frame even later, leaning on one another for that kind of comfort. It wasn't that first day, or week, but enough time to settle. The small things weren't yet opened. Two cups, to dishes, an endless waiting game for supplies to be shipped, of time to be found between work days and exhausted nights. He had a plan though, first the inside, then out. Sometimes there weren't enough plans, or lists, or schedules in the world to stop what would come next.
All of this, less than a month before The Blip.
Things hadn't changed since then, not without him. Five years you carved your path into the floorboards, avoiding everything that hurt like a landmine. His cup, his dish, his knife, and fork, and spoon, untouched. You would not look through your wedding album, or seep into the couch you bought together, or pluck the thorn riddled bushes like you pictured. His side of the bed empty, his clothes tucked away where you didn't have to see. All except one shirt taped up, turned away. His cologne fading from the collar, something out of your control, that made you want to scream. Everything these days, it seemed, was out of your control. Others, they moved on eventually. Started dating. Remarried. Found new friends, had more kids, picked up where they left off. Family reached out, teammates too, but you couldn't look at them. The anger, the sadness, all of it overwhelming. It left you drowning in questions no one had the answer to, everyone asking themselves the same thing: Why him, and not them? Why him, and not you? Why did any of this happen in the first place?
Isolating became the cure, and the corruption. The salt in the wound, a familiar sting you grew to expect, even want. A home for two, he promised, only now you were one. How cruel could the universe be? Hour by hour, day by day, you counted, carrying on for when he'd be back, because he would be. Sam, your Sam, too stubborn a man to give up like that. You would have dusted, washed the floors, made the place a little more welcoming if you'd known he'd be back when he did. Everyone came back, reappearing out of thin air, but where they felt frenzy, uncertain in explaining all that's happened, you were at peace, able to breathe again. Time had stopped when he was gone, your life paused. You could feel it, the moment when, the clocks in the house ticking once again inside their boxes.
Now, you lay together, as you had that first night. Not on the floor, not as naive as you were, but together none of the less. The sunlight strains, wanting to light up the room from behind the curtains. Even without it, you find yourself baking, wishing the fan would have a little more power. Sleeping in, you could have laughed. Five years he had, somewhere else, to rest, and yet you let him, not wanting to wake from what you fear might be a nightmare. If you woke up, and he was gone again, you weren't sure what you'd do, how much longer you could stand it. He assured you though, much like he had with this house, everything would work out in the end. That he was here, and he'd never leave you again.
Ever.
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coolgirl · 5 years
Note
the ones from harley quinn breaking glass preview
OH okay yes i can do a tutorial for that. i must say it’s super easy but personally i’m not very good at it because i do it with my fucked up mouse AND don’t have knowledge about lightning and color theory so it kinda looks super basic. I’ll use these two as examples:
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First it will always depend on the quality of the b/w pic you’re working with. Like you won’t have to do the same steps when coloring the harley one than coloring the batfam one.
I’ll start with the easy to do one, which is the batfam one because well as you can see its pretty high quality. Its black and white, no weird textures, no colors that need to be whitened, etc.
Ok personally before i color anything i prepare a color palette for it, sometimes i use reference pics, other times i just do it by eye lol depends how im feeling it. 
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Then well again this depends on you, but i always separate each layer for each color, and do folders for each color so i dont get confused bc my attention span is very small. OKAY that done, you gotta start coloring by creating layers and putting them on multiply (or u pick which one looks best for u!)
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Then just color it? 
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(you rlly can tell when i got tired of coloring LMAO) but anyways. yes.
then you can add shadows and such, which again im not artist so im terrible at it and usually dont do it LOL but u can do it by changing the size of the brush, the hardness, and opacity. Heres some tutorials and here some more.
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I usually just add a lil bit of blush on the cheeks/legs, maybe if i have a good reference pic try to copy the shadows but usually not. Then you can also add textures, like grainy textures to give it a pic feeling, or paper ones, etc. Here i added this texture on overlay to spice it up a lil bit.
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and thats it.
NOW FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS
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well that one first of all is a pain in the ass i would right off the bat tell u to wait until its available in high quality. anyways. i did this one as an icon and im definitely not be remaking it so we’ll stick to the psd i had saved for it and im gonna go back on my steps. OKAY SORRY i talk a lot. first cut off background as best as you can, and if it’s like lopsided try to cut it to make it straight
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ill explain only for the harley one. ok first do a copy of the image layer. then go to here image, that one idk how its in english, black and white, and play with the variables until you’re satisfied with how it looks. (the objective here is to make it as white/black as possible, so it’s easier to color it without it looking to grainy)
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after i played around a bit, it looks like this, which isnt ideal ngl!
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so u go down here, and add a color corrector layer, here we’re interested in the black/white, maybe neutral depending if theres any color left but the previous step should had taken care of that. here u gotta play with it urself, deciding what u think looks better
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it probably isnt enough - maybe it isnt which nice but usually not, so u add a levels layer thats in the same tab as color correction. again u gotta test it out yourself until ur satisfied. this tool basically makes the blacks blacker and the whites whiter, and um sometimes like brighter?
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okay this is how it looks now with all those layers, way better. i couldnt add more layers without making it look fucked up so i had to work with that. TIP! as u add layers do right click on the layer > create clipping mask (or just clipping mask? idk how it is in english sorry),  that should make the layers only get applied to the image you want, leaving the background untouched. so anyways. here.
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then u gotta color like the other one.
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added my own psd and tada
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and thats pretty much it! if u wanna do like. complicated coloring like all those cute manga edits going around, this blog has a really good tag that has many helpful tutorials about it. I use them sometimes but usually not bc again. im stuck with my broken mouse and i dont have a good pulse to color. 
if u have any questions feel free to hmu again! 
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I.. Have spawned a new AU. -💀
i saw!! it’s p cute, and like usual i have A Lot of thoughts on this so click on the read more to see everything lol
Band 1: Storm Surge
this is basically just perfect lol, love the song choice as well
i’d change cu chu to ravana, i think cu chu fits nicely into summer boys bc he’s a cutie and i’m here for a boy band courting the vote based on looks lol. mind you i also think that his ambition fits p nicely w/ lead guitar but i also think ravana’s v level-headed and cool which i think fits w/ the vibe of bass y’know
Band 2: Summer boys
if you wanna add cu chu then i’d also add erlang shen :^3 erlang’s v cute and i dunno, maybe he’s got some sexy pipes or something lol. also maybe consider adding xbal?? he’s not nearly as twinky as apolllo and merc but he’s v cute as well
i like the song a lot as well but i’m more thinking one of those typical boy bands bc something like blue’s all rise always sends me (it’s wickedly catchy tho lol). otherwise just go w/ an nsync/backstreet boys song if you want a more boy band feel lol :^P
Band 3: Chinese Dream
i also really love this band, jing wei and ne zha is a great combo and the song is kinda cute ngl…. personally i’d just make them sing some sorta k-pop song tho sadlfkjlllkjlk.
it’s not k-pop (it’s j-pop lol) but i think the whole aesthetic and sound of femm’s up up and away is super cool and i can imagine the duo doing some really flashy acrobatics and choreo w/ the song.
i think whatever song they choose has to have a dance break of some sort at the very least lol
and in general i’d just base their group off this post, i’d tag op but i always feel weird about tagging people i don’t know lmao
Band 4: Sex Appeal
ALSO I’M V INTO THIS GROUP OMG and the song……. yaaaassss.
if we were going by the girl group book i’d suggest that this group perform little mix’s move or touch. i’m biased towards move, it’s more funky and flirty instead of completely *sexual* and i like the idea of the ‘sexy’ girl group coming in and showing the boys how to stun a crowd with flawless vocals and dancing skills
(also he ain’t wit me now (tho) by richgirl has major bad bitch vibes i love)
black magic works if you want something a lil tamer lol. i’d just go w/ a girl group song bc it’s just easier to imagine line distribution lol
also i’d add awilix as well, she’s p goddamn sexy if i do say so myself and i think she’d be amazing on stage hehe
Band 5: Eclipse
ALSO LIKE YOU KNOW I’M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR CHANG’E AND HOU YI PAIRINGS….. and that song is cute?? love me a intimate ballad and i’d literally nut of the spot if hou yi w/ a sexci beard played the guitar in front of me…….
(also i’m stopped watching rwby after my main girl pyrrah died BUT tai is really fucking hot holy shit)
i can’t complain about the pairing this time lol but i will say that don’t give up by peter gabriel and kate bushwould basically make everyone cry and i love the message and how it fits w/ chang’e and hou yi’s undying dedication for each other :’))))
other band ideas
i’d love a the morrigan and dark hel duo, i’ve been listening to the veronicas again (untouched and cruel are still their best songs fight me) and they could go all t.A.T.u as well lmao. also i must not chase the boys by play totally fits their vibe omgggggg
i’ve touched on it before but a lady marmalade cover w/awilix as mya, terra as pink, kali as lil kim, aphrodite as christina aguilera and nox as missy elliott? legendary. i’m p sure that post was also before nike was in-game so i think nike might fit pink a lil better
i think the other bands have better identities tho, but this is just a fun collab i’d love to see
anyways give the sexy girl group little mix’s move already bc that’s like the thing i want the most lmao
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elle’s kinktober prompts
so i kinda wanna try to do kinktober this time around but a lot of the lists have me Squicked for various reasons (some of them for personal its-not-my-kink-but-u-do-u reasons and others for im-definitely-kinkshaming-this reasons)
so i made my own list lol! and i thought i’d publish it in case anyone else is looking for inspo and wants to do kinktober with me. (fan artists, feel free to use this list too!) where there are multiple items listed for a day, they’re either related kinks or sex acts, or suggested substitutes. also not everything on this list is necessarily a kink, but i hope it will help fuel your imagination regardless.
this isnt a challenge with any hard rules so feel free to use or not use part or all of this list, or to use it in any order u see fit. drop the kinks u dont like, add stuff u prefer. (this isnt an exhaustive list.) also, drabbles and sketches are welcome!
i will be reblogging shinee kinktober content, starting October 1st. ill be checking the tag “shinee kinktober” so tag your fics and art with that if u want me to see it. you can also DM me if you’re worried i missed it. i reserve the right to not reblog something, since it’s my blog, but in most cases i’ll be interested in reading and reblogging.
ill tag my fics and my reblogs with #nsfw, and any pairings/ot+s, and kinks. ill also add content warnings to the top of my own fics.
1. Spanking / flogging / impact 2. Dirty talk / body worship 3. Watersports 4. Public sex / glory hole 5. Biting 6. Begging / orgasm denial 7. Bondage / lingerie 8. Size difference / size kink 9. Creampie / felching 10. Deepthroating / facesitting 11. Breathplay / bloodplay / waxplay 12. Cumming untouched / multiple orgasms 13. Tentacles / aliens 14. Rimming / cunnilingus 15. Tit fucking / thigh fucking 16. Sensory deprivation 17. Pegging / sounding 18. Dom/sub / caregiver/little 19. Nipple play / breastfeeding 20. Petplay 21. Threesome / bukkake 22. Double penetration 23. Fisting / muffing 24. Exhibitionism / voyeurism 25. Crying (because its too good) / overstimulation 26. Toys 27. Humiliation / praise 28. Latex / mesh / bodysuit 29. Suspension / fucking machine 30. Roleplay 31. Paranormal/magical/fantasy sexy times (bc its Halloween)
please reblog to make other writers and artists aware!
🌈😏🌈
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