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in-omni-scientia · 4 months

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Do you blue skills have specific activities to bond with each other? Other than arguing.

Of course we do, what sort of a question IS this? You've practically only seen our arguments -- we have plenty of other ways to get along, and *do*. Let's see here...

Personally, I can enjoy a nice, fun game of Scrabble with others here. The only issue is, Conceptualization tends to try to make up their own words to use. Then, when I try to tell them that the words have to be *in the dictionary*, Rhetoric comes in and starts using my own prattling on the roots of different parts of whatever word Conceptualization made up to try and say they'd be *justified*. It always turns into a big argument and honestly I'm just not prepared for that sort of thing. I'd rather play with Empathy; he's always a good games partner to me. Also, I think Drama ate most of the pieces, so we can't play anymore because of that, too. I am very annoyed about that.

Mh. Okay, maybe that one wasn't a great example to start off with. How about this one? Conceptualization and Drama actually had a little thing going briefly where they would organise plays together! Occasionally got me and Visual Calculus involved as well for some extra hands; I could talk at length about ideas for set pieces, Visual Calculus organising the lights... it was fun. Anyways, that didn't last though since they separated due to. Ah. "Creative differences". I understand it was a rather explosive argument, from what I gathered talking to them. When I consulted Conceptualization on the matter, he responded, and I quote: "That intransigent vexing little self-wank-fest of a fucking ball of gloop can't even *hold* a pen let alone understand the nuanced symbolism inherent to all media, they don't even fucking understand basic media literacy God help us all, their ability to write romance is surface-level at best and[...]". You can only imagine how long that continued on for. Anyways, when I asked Drama, all they did was think for a moment before allowing a wry smile to ripple over a great many of their faces, and saying: "Their writing was sub-par and their costuming was ill-fitting". So.

...Aaaalright, not *that* one either. Here, something much simpler, then. I can enjoy a good crossword every now and then, and Logic a Kakuro puzzle (though he much prefers Heyawake and Killer Sudoku), so he suggested collaborating on a neat step up from these, the cross-figure. Well, we *attempted* to collaborate -- I found myself only useful on general knowledge questions, which did not appear often as they are considered beginner, and Logic found beginner puzzles far too easy. So then we tried cryptic crosswords, which I did not find myself very useful in either, since while I may possess plenty of knowledge I don't have the logical capabilities to know when a clue could be referring to that. Then we hopped around cipher and fill-in crosswords, which turned out even *worse*. It culminated in a minor dispute between us where I claimed Logic was only prioritizing his *own* fun, which he argued to be untrue. Not really a fault on his part, in hindsight, and only heated on *my* end as a result of my own feeling of inefficacy... ultimately we agreed to be contented with doing our own puzzles, for now. (Well, aside from Heyawake. I'm *smashing* Heyawake.) Now it's mostly just Visual Calculus arguing with Logic to let *him* do the Kakuro in the fortnightly logic puzzle magazine for once.

Huh. Well, this one's *bound* to be a good example. At one point, Conceptualization was making little locked-room-style mysteries for Logic and Visual Calculus to solve. Full-size rooms they could walk around in -- it was quite impressive to watch them work. Didn't ever take them too long to solve them, but still. It was nice seeing something Conceptualization had asked me about crop up there. *Then* they started writing little honkaku-style mysteries for them, too, to see how fast they could figure out the solution to the crime before the end of the story. By my recommendation, obviously; I thought they would appreciate the rational, chess-like approach to mystery, compared to thriller novels which may not adhere to Van Dine's Commandments as strictly. Conceptualization appreciated it, too; "none of that hard-boiled crap, it's all shit" they said. I think they liked the digressions into criticism of the detective genre as a whole and fourth-wall breaking; Logic liked *all* the pieces being perfectly available and within grasp for a shrewd reader, Visual Calculus liked the heavy use of diagrams and such. Whenever Conceptualization didn't turn one of these diagrams into a three-dimensional playset, Visual Calculus was doing that. Anyways, the dear art snob never could quite seem to get the upper hand in their writing -- the pair were *unstoppable* in their natural disposal towards ratiocination. That is, until it started to get... rather strange. More and more the story would divagate into long-winded social commentary that served no purpose for the narrative (*not* a hallmark of honkaku, mind you), would make the solution increasingly convoluted (Rube Goldberg-type machines aren't out of place in honkaku, but they were getting quite far beyond the reasonable suspension of disbelief for a story within the detective genre), introduce irrational narrative elements such as supernatural phenomena (*also* not a hallmark of honkaku, though can and does crop up in shin honkaku -- I regret convincing the pair to continue giving Conceptualization a chance. The opportunity to grant them knowledge was not worth it, in the end. Come to think of it, that's happened *more* than once, hasn't it? Thinking back to the Moray Eel Incident... mmh). And, well, in hindsight it was an inevitability... but it all came to a boiling point when one such mystery, giving Logic and Visual Calculus quite a lot of grief, concluded *not* with a proper solution, but with a plain metaphor for-- love or capitalism or something ridiculous like that, I don't try to actively remember. The ensuing argument somehow had Logic and Visual Calculus turning against one another, too, despite the fact they were both on the *same side*. Probably had something to do with Drama being their throwing stones, as per usual. And Rhetoric, arguing whatever side they thought would inflame everyone else the most. Also, I was there too. Also, I was turning against Logic and Visual Calculus despite being on *their* side as well. Also, it was Drama and Rhetoric's fault as well. Damn those two. Embarrassing for me... anyways, we're not allowed to write our own mysteries anymore because Harry nearly had a stroke and died.

...

Ah. Maybe *quite a lot* of our pastimes do involve arguing after all.

Perhaps I should stick to who I have already established myself as being able to get along with...

#contains: txt #author/s: me #contains: answers #skillsposting #long post #ooc I am so sorry everyone #didn't expect it to be this long. well. kind of did. but also didn't. uhm #also I hope I didn't get anyone *too* OOC here? v tired right now it's 3am #that's also my excuse if i got any of this information wrong. ESP the bit on puzzles. im so sorry if anything here doesnt add up ves. frown #going to bed lol

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volfoss · 5 days

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Actually sorry I need to bitch and moan about this. I've been reading the san.dman (do not ever do this to yourself it's a hell unimaginable by anyone) and like... I really think it's interesting how much ga/iman is praised as super progressive on Tumblr for THIS specifically when it has so so much bad in it. About 10 issues in I started a game with how many women were in the issue who survived/were raped/nearly raped and it was insane how little women did not fit into these categories. One black woman lived and the rest were all burned alive. And he then later gave an excuse that it was bc of how Dream imprisoned Nada (16 year old African queen who fell in love with him. Its a very big mess and really sucks) in Hell so of course it influenced the entire world and so every black woman but ONE (who was introduced in the second to last issue) died and died violently. Not even to get into how it plays into the really violent misogyny that he had during the short story he wrote around the end of San.dman (when he was in his mid 30s) that was literally just one graphic rape scene to a minor after another (his snow white retelling is pretty infamous bc of how bad it is just by the summary but let me tell you that it is FAR worse to read). Like there's so so much that I think people do not discuss with his writing and it honestly just is very baffling that people hype him up given well. Everything that happens in San.dman. like the endless alone has a lot of... Well let's say interesting issues. Every single woman dream comes across wants to fuck him (to the point that at his funeral, it's 90% the women he was with/wanted to be with him and then a little from his siblings????), despairs entire character is literally just that she's depressed and coincidentally the most prominent fat character (and also naked all the time. Which they did seem to fix in the show but it's baffling how it's like her, one serial killer who nearly raped a woman before dream stops him, a guy that dies and I guess Abel if you squint for the fat rep) and then desire oh my god. I wish desire was written well instead of here's our nonbinary/gender fluid/genderless rep (cool in theory!!!) and then the fact that it (in the original series, she uses he she and it pronouns) raped a woman is dropped on your head and he is not at all regretful about it and ends up like.. taunting the victims granddaughter??? And delirium my god if there was ever a representation for born sexy yesterday and also being weird as fuck about mental illness it would be her. She's barely clothed most of the time, referred to as very very young most of the time and her mental illness (vague) is just kind of used as a joke a lot of the time? Like it's a funny joke that she doesn't remember stuff or that she's overstimulated or that she's using the wrong words or talking like a child. It's really weird because all of these characters have potential but they aren't really ever treated that way. Me when I get him for every single woman treated horribly!!!!!

#twist rambles #i am NOT taking any chances for this thus why its censored bc well. i don't want to deal w it lol #rape mention #misogyny #misogynoir #<- all for bl but im mad about this againnnn #sorry im just!!!!!! when i get him!!! like ppl do NOT know how bad it is and how bad it's handled #no notes on d/eath bc her writing is mostly ok minus the spinoffs but god I just. the way he treats women!! it's bad lmao #not even to get into the lgbt handling bc like.. i guess he was trying but man its so so bad. genuinely do not get me started on it #long post #<- it kind of is but the rage just kind of consumed me a little. like i dont get why he's this bad at it!!! i do actually but like god it #sucks. very good to read this if u want to blow him up already and want to strengthen that #im on a spinoff that everyone hates rn and like man its weirdly a relief that its not written by him. I'm excited to see the stuff caítlin #wrote bc maybe it'll be better. im back to the mines now but. know it's bad ok #and that SUCKS bc like there r characters i like. theres parts i enjoy.#8 was the only one i rly would recommend bc it works better than a lot of the stuff in it but man. yeah. it sucks to see the potential in a #media and then its like misogyny sledgehammer!!!!!

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cherubytes · 8 months

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does the guy complaining about the amount of gay ultrakill fanart they see know they're on the gay fanart website???? "i cant scroll through the tag without seeing 30 fanarts of gabriel in a skirt" my brother in christ that man isnt wearing pants

#ramblings #ultrakill #sorry i usually dont pay attention to this kind of thing but that last complaint was really funny to me #“nothing in this game is meant to be sexualized'' in the game that has buttplug support??????#like ok. i get not wanting to see anything nsf/w but that can be remedied by like. blocking the suggestive or nsft tags #as an asexual i do get the frustration of not being interested in the nsf/w side of fandoms. idk how it is on reddit or twitter #but i imagine that its a bit more difficult to avoid without a tagging system. i honestly have no clue since i rarely go on those sites #but the way this guy went about it is so weird lol #what happened to curating your own online experience or whatever. ive got fandoms i like where im not interested in what #most people like to post about. so i just go look elsewhere #cutting this short bc this is already way too long

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vampire-bite · 3 months

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and what if i said they had richard siken energy. what then.

last post for right now i promise im so sorry GFHDKS

#if you follow me for redacted stuff (which is likely) im so sorry #this is my vampire nonsense blog more than anything #diabolik lovers #not even rewrite stuff #i mean #the “i wore his jacket for the longest time” part kind of is #but thats a long story okay #diabolik lovers rewrite #the last ten posts or so are incoherent #im gonna stop now #lol #if i knew the ship tag id add it

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orcelito · 1 year

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OK so I have an inkling of an idea for a trigun ficlet. A one-shot, really. Not really any plot, but I just have the urge to write my own interpretation of Weird Plant Shit. Like for how much ppl tag this stuff as xeno, most of it's honestly pretty tame. Which kinda makes sense, considering a lot of this is being based off of the plants in stampede, which While uncanny are not NEARLY the amount of inherent horror of the plants in the manga. There's some FREAKY shit going on there. So like. You know. What if I took more inspiration from That for Vash's freaky shit?

#speculation nation #YES this is for a smut idea. dont judge me #ive never posted smut b4 bc ive exclusively been writing akeshu & theyre teenagers #im not interested in writing smut of teenagers #but i have my interests 😭 and i am an undeniable monster fucker. we been knew.#just. vague idea. ppl have run with the plant idea. & id wanna too. but in a different sort of way.#thinking more. venus fly trap kind of situation. NOT easily translatable to human biology #the kinds of shit that may trip even the most adventurous man up. but we all know he would take it in stride in the end.#idfk so much of the allure of this pairing to me is the inherent inhuman nature of vash's physical form. and how that manifests everywhere #the human and the angel. for all that entails.#i dont have an idea for an actual story for these characters yet. my brain is spinning them but it hasnt come up with that yet #but a lil smth self indulgent to just play around with Fun Ideas? i reaaally wanna go for it.#we'll see if i end up writing this. & if i end up posting it.#im both somehow Very solidly kinky and VERY solidly shy about it. aka why i barely post about that kind of stuff.#face in my hands just talking about this here. who knows how i'd fare with posting it.#but if i go thru the trouble of writing it you BET id go thru the trouble of posting it #and you B E T itd be angsty. the inherent longing and unsaid words. what am i if not an unrepentant angst writer lol #thoughts & ideas r spinning. i will have a merry little time.#uhm. do i need to tag this as anything. is this too tmi? i dont even know #WELL if u read the word 'xeno' and keep reading that's on U. sorry #here just in case if ppl r worried i will tag this as #tmi/#sorry lol

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pinkopalina · 2 months

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as a huge batjokes shipper i want batman and joker to hate each other in the sense they dont really hate each other, they just have really different goals and see their own version of potential in the other and right now hate is the best word for their situationship. they both love the other for what they could be but neither of them wants to be what the other one wants, and that's equally as frustrating as it is necessary for them to keep existing in their current roles. they're deadlocked and that fate surrounding each other is kind of the point -- we both have to be like this, the opposite of what the other wants, for us to keep existing at all, and for giving me that gift i both love and hate you. it's an agreement. i think the hate that's there now is born from an intense underlying love.

i think batman "hates" joker for being so amazing and smart and cunning, for being able to create grand gestures and schemes, to pull people together under his charisma and make them all believe in something, for being as extraordinary as he is but batman hates that he uses it to hurt people. he hates that joker can't channel his energy into doing something good for the world, that he hurts himself and others just because he wants to be batman's greatest enemy. i think batman wants to help joker but also hates him at this point for joker exhausting him, constantly getting hurt both emotionally and physically by him, joker never trying to improve his situation, throwing away other people's lives, showing batman he loves him by lashing out and hurting him. batman hates joker because he loves his rogues, he wants to help them, and he knows they can do better. he wants to live in a gotham that doesn't need batman but he still needs to be needed, because when there's no batman, what is bruce going to be? without joker, he will continue being batman, but it's an empty crusade. some of my favorite interactions between harvey and bruce are the ones where harvey thanks bruce for "always being there for me, never giving up on me, my very best friend." even with someone like harvey, bruce can still hold onto that hope for his rogues, never give up on them, keep going for them, even if it puts them through the cycle one more time.

i think joker hates batman in the most toxic way possible, but it's still love. i just think he's selfish and doesn't want batman to think about anyone else but him, the same way he operates for batman, but if he must think about other people then joker will make it as amazing as possible! i think he hates batman for wasting his time on ordinary people, people who are so boring that batman claims he has to protect and serve and love them but joker thinks it's all surface-level. batman won't kill joker but he'll leave room for people dying in his crusade. it's a choice he allows, and even if joker knows that's a morally fucked up way to put someone in a box, he doesn't care. batman is the type of person to train himself mentally and physically for decades and dress up in a half-silly-half-menacing costume so that everyone can have an idea about him. batman himself is not normal, and joker knows that and loves that! why is he wasting his time trying to save people that use him, abuse him, don't want him to be the best he can be? i think joker's motivations for loving batman and lashing out as if he hates him lie somewhere in between extreme admiration -- like i truly believe in your cause and that you're the right person to do it, but i'm so angry at you for wasting your time on other people and i'm so hurt and jealous that you choose them over me, just so you can be a hypocrite and let them die if i want them to anyways -- and anger at his hypocrisy -- like it's easy for joker to dedicate himself to chaos and just being in batman's life by putting batman in situations that force him to be a better and better hero, but how can batman sit there and choose and pick what morals he'll uphold and who gets to live and who gets to die?

i want to be your greatest enemy because you are the greatest hero ever, and the only way you and i can keep being the best at what we do is if we do it together, because of what we both believe in.

#does this make sense. they love each other because theyre perfect for each other #but in order to create that perfection they have to do things that build resentment #and in order to ebb that resentment they have to be in constant flux. back and forth. ebb and flow. good and evil. chaos and order.#obsession and indifference.... the two themes i think we miss out on the most bc it hurts when indifference is the opposite of love #and obviously these two cannot be indifferent toward the otther #but when they have plots that do they really fucking hurt!#like when lex luthor comes into the picture and helps joker and joker starts to make batman a little jealous #like okay maybe i dont need you to obsess over maybe any strong ideals can overtake me if u lnow what i mean #and then suddenly batmans gotta prove how well he knows joker and has to be on top of him at all times #um anyways i hope these kind of! made sense!!!!!!!!! djhdkjghijsdfhksdfh #like ideally i think joker just wishes he had batman all to himself but knows he has to share #and hes such a jealous baby that he makes it hard for batman bc of it #and batman is like yes joker jesus fucking christ i love you too but you have to let me have friends #and u have to stop killing people #and jokers like why are you friends with murderers and liars and thieves but IM BAD?#and batmans like bc i actually love everyone and want to help you all and that includes u #and jokers like jo fuck you hypocrtie hahaha see at least in my loneliness i have no laurels to rest on #and bruce is like i may struggle with my morals often but that is only because im always figuring out the best way to keep helping everyone #and if i lose sight of that ill go blind and be like you and then u wont have me anymore #lol sometimes funny tag convos get the dynamic better than the meaty posts #long post #anyways sorry i just havee 2937973957273 thoughts about them and so does everyone and i wanna throw my hat in

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petrichormeraki · 3 months

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Cannot express how excited I am about elliens soon. I hope you're ready for multiple illustrations of elliens characters coming your way as soon as i get my grubby little paws on their official colors

WAAAHHH UAREHLUTDGLAXITTWK THANK YOU!!!!! 🥹🥹🥹🥹

You've been the main motivator for me to get this comic off the ground, you're a real one Kozzax ❤️❤️❤️❤️

"We can't wait to meet you!!"

#meraki art #elliens #I'm so sorry this took so long my Internet went kaput halfway through finishing this #im currently posting this on hotspot but i do not care #kozzax #meraki answers #also yeah these are their refs!!! miik's oxygen mask will be featured in the actual comic but i didn't want to draw it here lol #i made a minor tweak and changed ellie's fanny pack to a lil backpack that you absolutely can't see in this image but uh yeah #anyway AAAAAA!! YOU'RE SO KIND KOZZAX TYSM 😭

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piosplayhouse · 2 years

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Hmm I saw a post where someone was fixing AI generated art which is fine but one of the things they "fixed" was correcting a cross-eye that the AI had generated and making both eyes face the same direction and hmm... could we not do that lol

#just talking out loud because its really taken me a long time to accept that cross eyes and wall eyes are things that people have so its ok #to represent them in art. i mention it every so often but it is really hard to not feel like i need to correct eye facing errorsd #despite having misaligned eyes myself haha . idk not the biggest problem the art community has but it's not talked about i suppose #i dont really post dr anymore but i saw this sometimes with spamton art where people would only draw him with 'crazy eyes ' when he was #being . yknow silly . and ig thats kind of canon but it is a little weird to think about it too deeply #sorry anyway im doing laundry lol

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charrfie · 1 year

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GIVE ME THE ELLIE LORE RRAAAAAGG🫵🫵🫵

OHHH BOY OKAY WHERE DO I START WITH THIS. HEADS UP THIS IS GOING TO BE SO LONG EVEN IF IM JUST SUMMARIZING THE BASIC SET UP!!! Also the plot is pretty heavy on violence but for the sake of this ask I'll try to skirt around the details

I suppose before I start explaining the details surrounding Elle I should talk about the actual overarching story itself! It's a story of reflection, mostly. Something I put together (with my boyfriend who made the other main character in the story, Tilly!) that contains a lot of the feelings I was never able to make sense of/reconcile with as a kid. Obviously it's done in a super over-the-top kind of way but I feel like it still works pretty well for its purpose. A lot of the metaphors and plot points are actually INTENTIONALLY inflated bc I wanted to encompass any weird middle schooler's love for edge and cringe (... my love for those things haven't changed either, admittedly <3). It's about young sapphic love and finding family in friends rather than in blood, it's about how fucked up middle school is, it's about transness and identity. It's about growing up too fast. There's a lot more to be said about the themes of it but these are the most prominent I feel.

As for the plot itself, I'll only explain the opening of it or else we'll be here all day. What you need to know is: Elle is a pretty fucked up kid. Often bullied for being The Weird Girl in middle school and with a mom who doesn't really care about her (would classify it as neglectful like "you do your thing I'll do mine" rather than abusive though ig neglect is a kind of abuse), she's left to face the world on her own. And of course this leads to things like unrestricted internet access as a child (should mention it takes place roughly in 2008/2009 so this kind of stuff is in full swing), morbid curiosities not really having a reason to fade, etc. There's quite a bit that happens in between her early life and the catalyst of what sets the plot in motion, like how she loses one of her eyes and whatnot, but I'll skip that part for now considering it's a little upsetting? Anyways, one day she meets a girl named Miriam. Miriam is a sweetheart and an A+ student... as well as the first person to give Elle a second of their time. Over the following weeks, a friendship starts to bloom between them. The friendship, however, comes to a close much too soon when a very paranoid Elle fucks up and makes a split second decision that gets Miriam killed. Its completely motivated by fear and self preservation, so of course she instantly regrets it. None of the potential witnesses around her figure she had anything to do with it. She's just a little girl after all. But there's one person who saw what she did. Staring at Elle from a distance with knowing in her eyes. Tilly. And it just so happens that Tilly is also kind of a fucked up Weird Girl! Who goes to Elle's school! Of course she does. Elle heads to school over the following days expecting to be called a murderer, arrested, or killed herself after being exposed by Tilly but... this doesn't happen...? Tilly tells no one. Rather, the students at school show Elle pity, thinking she was a victim. And yet Elle feels Tilly's eyes bearing holes into the back of her head all throughout class. Elle suspects this is a threatening thing, but instead, Tilly soon expresses an interest in Elle that likely also stems from her own morbid curiosity (however Elle can't fucking stand her for quite a while). Over time the two find themselves bonding somehow! Elle finds comfort in Tilly's similar struggles to her own, finds someone who pays attention to her for once with no possibility of hurting her. Tilly finds a home in Elle that her broken family can't provide for her. It sounds very unhealthy considering the context behind their meeting but it's genuinely very helpful for both of them, and sooner or later they find themselves dating ^_^ !! This, uh..... doesn't stop them from getting into worse trouble down the line though............

I have a much longer version of this written out but this is a lot already so maybe another time? Sorry if this sounds rushed!! Its a lot of info I'm trying to stuff in here at once so a lot of the more nuanced and slow-moving topics dealt with in the story may seem a little awkwardly phrased here

Now despite literally everything I've said about Elle and Tilly, they're both big babies and I love them a lot. They're very sweet just ignore the violence okay? Here's some art of them together my bf (@nervigg) did!! Same one I used as my pfp! Girlfriends :^]

#THIS IS. REALLY LONG. AND IT DOESNT EVEN BEGIN TO TOUCH ON A MAJORITY OF THE EVENTS THAT FOLLOW #long post #ANYWAYS THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR ASKING ABOUT HER IM SORRY I COULDNT GIVE YOU A MORE BRIEF ANSWER LOL #if anyone has more questions id love to answer them :^3 even simpler kinds of questions! whatever!#oc tag #<- i have more stuff about elle here!#cat girls #<- or here lol #elle

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pepperpixel · 2 years

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Thing I drew in 2 seconds to go w the tags on my last post gGH-

#im sorry for calling her a bitch.. I was thinking of having it say ‘emotional support nun’ but that wasn’t as funny #and.. she is kind of a bitch.. i love her but. it’s true ghgh #I think we can be understanding of pastry cookie and the complexities of why she acts how she acts #and recognize the reasons behind it. and that her situation is bad #while also admitting she still acts like a bitch sometimes ghgh #I can be mean to her and still love her #drew her taller then me. cuz if she was human she would be.. that’s just the facts #she’d be sn above average height lady I think #as a cookie tho she’d fit in the palm of my hand 🥺🥺🥺#little tiny.. pastry cookie 🥺 2 inches tall….#fucking dies from cute thinking that thought #me after drawing this ‘lol wait what if I started self shipping myself w pastry’#also me ‘don’t joke about that cuz if u think about it too hard u might actually do it gHHG’#like if u rotate that funny thought around too long it will become serious reality I feel it in my bones #I feel the self shipping potential here ghghg #for now tho it’s just funny pic of me holding my emotional support bitch tho. cuz god am love her ghghg #‘to go w the tags on my last post’ pepper most of the tags on ur last post were just about ur own fucked up life #and had barely anything to do w pastry #EXACTLY #she’s my emotional support FOR my fucked up life…..!!!

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volfoss · 2 months

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the big and long miss yucky restoration post, part 1:

early february, i got a very damaged (what i thought was) ddh-10 (dollfie dream head, model 10) head from yahoo japan auctions. i had never seen a doll with such damage EVER and even though i hoped someone else may buy her (i did not want to pay the shipping fees), i ended up buying her. for your viewing pleasure, images of miss yucky at the start of this with explanations of what exactly is the damage (or what i thought the damage was at the time)

[ID: Four images of a severely damaged doll head.

The first image is of the head facing straight forward. Her face is very unevenly colored. She has small patches of a darker and more yellow vinyl tone showing on her face, from the paler paint cracking away. Her face is very simple, with big eyes that have cartoonish eyelashes and a small smiling mouth. Noteably, her nose is barely there. She has many spots of dirt on her forehead. Her eyes are dark blue and round, with unsmoothed white clay above the iris.

The second image is inside the doll's head, showing the eyes being held in with hot glue, gray clay, and blue sticky putty. Her headcap is set to the side and the true more yellow vinyl color is visible on the rim of the head that is open.

The third image is her head at an angle that better shows the eyes. The eyes themselves have a weird bumpy texture on them and her face looks very shiny from this angle.

The fourth image is her head in profile, showing that her nose has been almost completely removed. The discoloration is more visible in this photo than the first, with patches of bright white along the head seam right beside dark patches where the paint appears to have been scratched away. In this picture, it is most clear where the headcap has been replaced from the original, as there is a lower seam running around her head, with the headcap being much smaller than it should be. /end ID]

Hopefully her nickname makes more sense now lol. More elaboration on the issues and her process to looking a lot better under the cut, because it is long :)

As for the issues, I assumed it was either a sealant issue or just something mysteriously wrong that was causing the sheen (once I got her in the mail, I began to assume that it was all the plasticizer leaking out of her head, leaving it rock hard). Plasticizer is what keeps vinyl (which is what her head is made of) squishy, and when it leaks out, it leaves a sticky residue on the vinyl, a lot of sheen to it, and most importantly, when it is all leaked out, it leaves the head hard. Her head was as hard of a rock (or as hard as my resin dolls) and that was the only thing that made sense. It couldn't be age, as at the time, I believed she was a DDH-10, which had only begun production around 2016 (and most of the heads that had hardened over age were at least 5-10 years older than that).

Her eyes were stuck in in some mysterious way. The white on the top being not smooth threw me off, as I couldn't tell if it was supposed to be clay or just something to stick the eyes in. I hadn't really seen white sticky putty used on eyes super often but it is something that was used. The other obvious issue is the modding. At the time, I fully believed she was a DDH-10, so was shocked at all the modding that had been done to her. Her eyes had been widened, nose completely sanded away, chin seemingly sanded a bit, and her head cap was from (what i thought was) a different company. We will return to the true ID of miss yucky shortly.

Once I got her, I became aware of a few more issues:

She was INCREDIBLY sticky when I touched her face. This is not normal with vinyl dolls, and I could really only pray it was a sealant issue (as the most popular sealant in the BJD hobby, MSC, can seal glossy if it's used improperly (I've had the same issue when spraying it too close to the face or in too cold of weather)). The shininess was far worse in person as well.

The aforementioned head as hard as a rock. For people unfamiliar with vinyl heads, this specific type of doll has a headcap (which is the thing that you can kind of see is ill fitting in the original photos) that you are supposed to be able to squeeze the head to remove. These kinds of heads are VERY squishy. For example, my other vinyl doll, Beatrix, has a head so soft that I can easily remove the headcap with little effort (it's about the squishy levels of a Monster High head if that helps). At this point, I was very worried I would be completely unable to remove her headcap. But since the listing photos had had it removed, I was moderately hopeful

Her eyes were in odder shape than I thought. Prior to getting her, i had assumed her eyes were the ones you see in an average stuffed animal, just simple ones you sew in. With her modded eyes, it was pretty clear that she would need some kind of custom eyes, so this had made sense to me, that someone would have gotten those eyes and popped some clay around them. But upon getting her, I saw that they were custom eyes that were usually made for these kind of anime BJDs (term used loosely but most vinyl bjds like this have stylings closer to anime artstyles rather than the realistic ones that resin bjds have) and had some weird residue on them.

Her eyewells (the bit of vinyl between her eye and eyeball, where your waterline would be if she was a human) were much deeper than expected, which was why her eyes looked so deep and far back. Most of my resin dolls have similar issues due to that being how the company sculpts them so I wasn't too worried about that as much as I probably should have been lol

[ID: Two pictures of the same doll head.

The first picture is from an upwards angle and shows that she has a somewhat thick line of vinyl between her bottom eyelashes and her eyeball itself. She is being held by a pale hand and the photo is under harsh lighting.

The second picture is facing from the front and is being held by a pale hand. She is noteably very shiny and is about the size of the person's palm. /end ID]

You can see here the way the vinyl is thicker under the eye than it should have been in this case. The second picture is there because she was MUCH bigger than I anticipated, about the same size as Beatrix's head. Quick explanation on why this is odd: The DDH-10 sculpt is meant for 1/4 or MDD scale bodies (BJDs have different scales, all compared to the human body. 1/4 scale dolls are less than 2 ft tall, or on average, 45 cm tall. MDD is the type of body that the company that produces the DDH-10 that is made for the 1/4 scale), but the DDH-03 (the head model Beatrix has) is meant for 1/3 scale (on average around 60 cm or around 2 ft). Everywhere online had said that 10 head model was smaller but I didn't think much of it at the time.

The day that she had arrived, I had made a post on a big BJD forum, as a sort of project journal as I worked on her. The members were IMMENSELY helpful and the hunt for her true identity had begun. A few members were convinced she wasn't a DDH-10, but to me, I really was convinced she was, as she had been listed as such, had arrived in a box for that head type, and the way that she could have been modified made a lot of sense to me with that sculpt. This was not the case, as she ended up getting id'd as an Obitsu 60 cm girl head. I'm including this for a reason (and not just because I wanted to do a big post writing up the specifics of my journey fixing her)

[ID: A blank doll head. It has the same smile and nose of the doll head shown in the photos prior, but noteably does not have any eyeholes carved in. Her vinyl color is much warmer and closer to a typical peachy tone than the very pale paint covering the prior shown doll head. /end ID]

This photo is taken from an old Mandarake listing, as one of the forum members had linked me to it. The most noteable thing here, is that unlike the head I have, the eyes are meant to be painted on (much like a Monster High head). Which means the customizer before me had hand carved these eyes (and somehow got them as even as they did). Other good news with this- the body I wanted to put her on was an Obitsu body, so somehow, they matched perfectly (each vinyl BJD company has different skintones, so I was not expecting that much of luck).

Her ID aside, let's dive into the restoration! I had to give a bit of backstory before we got into the good stuff lol

First step was getting her headcap off, as I wanted to remove her eyes before cleaning her face, just to not cause more damage to them than what had already happened to them (at this point, I did not know why the eyes looked like that). Thankfully, a hair dryer was able to heat the headcap and get it loose enough that I could pop the headcap off and get my first look inside her head.

[ID: A closeup of the inside of the doll head. There are thick globs of hot glue holding the gray clay in, a mysterious clear shape that is the back of the eye, and blue sticky tack holding it all up. /end ID]

Getting a better look at it, I just decided to dive in and start prying the hot glue off. Once I did that, it revealed that the gray clay was in fact Apoxie Sculpt (which dries VERY hard when its cured all the way. This was the worst case scenario, as I did not want to deal with removing that) and that one of the eyes came out all the way.

[ID: A closeup of the doll eye out of the head. It is surrounded by white clay on the top, with some of the Apoxie sculpt on the top. Above the doll eye, there is a piece of Apoxie sculpt that has browned and has some of the blue sticky tack on top. Two pieces of the hot glue are below the eye and the head is off to the side. /end ID]

I was SO relieved to see it was coming out, but the other eye did not come out as easily sadly. There was still a big chunk of clay that was presumably used to hold the eye in. I have no idea why the eye mechanism was like this at all to be honest. That clay was NOT coming out at all, so I moved to get her cleaned up.

At this point, I had noticed some black spots inside of the head. I was praying it was not mold because that would be nigh impossible to get cleaned up (given I could not just do what you do with MLP and heat the vinyl up and squish the mold out with using Oxi-Clean. Her head was too hard for me to do that). I had also been hit with an overwhelming "new vinyl" smell, which was another sign of the plasticizer being completely gone/leaking slightly, so I was pretty sure that was the case.

I cleaned her up with warm soapy water, but it didn't really get anything off. My next step was to remove the faceup with acetone, which is a little stronger than what most people use to remove faceups but I am very careful with it so please do not try using it unless you are cautious as well. I needed something strong to really get the layers of paint off. With how many dolls I've removed full body/full head paint off of, I have the method down pretty well (a short list of painted dolls I have had to deal with: my own Cordula head, as her head is bright white and needed to match her yellowed body; the body I have for my big guy (which was just a LOT of blue paint); Clarimonde's body (which was painted mostly to hide the top surgery scars from the modification but I wanted to remove the paint)). It came off pretty smoothly, and was revealing a gorgeously yellowed vinyl underneath. Quick clarification here, most people do NOT like their dolls yellowed. I do because it's easier to blush and work on because it is not stark white and I feel it makes the skin look a bit better for the most part (most of my dolls are yellowed but maybe 2 of them). She had some minor staining around her eyes and mouth but nothing compared to what I expected.

[ID: The aforementioned doll head, now much closer in tone to the listing photo. Her face is all cleaned up and her headcap is resting besides her. There are some faint stains by the eyes left from the eyelashes but she is otherwise completely cleaned and is blank. /end ID]

The difference was stark, as she looked much better with all the discolored paint removed. What I had worried was mold was just paint from the faceup and came off completely with no worries (I am convinced I kept lucking out with her because she was thankful to be cleaned up and taken care of).

I had, weirdly enough, been very worried that she would lose all of her charm and cuteness with no faceup, but she did not. Now that I had cleaned her up, I could return to the to do list. With no faceup, it was clear her eyes were slightly uneven, and the modding had left some scratches inside of the head that i wanted to clean up (namely because I felt bad for her for having to have those inside her head). Her nose was something that I definitely wanted to resculpt (which was partially why I wanted to get this doll, she was a big project and an excuse to learn skills that I had been too scared to learn prior to this, sculpting being one of them), but the shape was something I was super uncertain of. She would need custom eyes that were made to fit only her eye shape (her eyes are carved very low on her face in comparison to the original, so normal round BJD eyes would not fit properly) and I would want to make her a wig. I also needed to get her on the body in a specific way modification wise, which will be something we will cover in a later post (as I have not done it yet lol).

Starting with the eyes, I started to work on getting the chunk of clay out of the head. I was immensely glad I had gotten a dremel to help restore my big boy (if you remember me posting images of getting the clay on a chest piece sanded down, that is the same doll) as I had to pretty much sand away at the clay for about an hour or more. Eventually I just gave up and pried it out of the head with a small sanding tool (as sanding it down was just not working too well and it was kind of my last resort). I sanded the inside of her head and outside of it, but neither of these differences show up a lot on camera, so I won't be including images. I sanded the outside of her head to get a few of the areas that were stained a bit to be a tiny bit less stained, as well as wanting a fully clean and sanded surface before I started sculpting.

[ID: Two pictures showing the inside of the dolls head. The first one has a large chunk of white clay visible under the right eye and the second shows the same spot with no clay, as it has been removed. /end ID]

You can see how big of a hunk of clay it was! It was BAD lol. I got through maybe 3 long youtube videos while getting this thing out.

The eyeballs themselves turned out to be made of resin, and thanks to one of the members suggestion on the forum, I cleaned them with acetone. They believed it was just sealant sprayed while the eyes were still in, and the acetone cleaned them up beautifully. They were still not the right fit for miss yucky, but I was very relieved to see that they cleaned up okay.

This photo was before cleaning them up, as I was so confused what could have even been going on here and needed to get advice.

[ID: The eye close up. There is an almost foggy texture over it that obscures the colors a bit. They are a dark blue. The surface is very bumpy and there are some remnants of the white clay that surrounded them still attached. /end ID]

And this photo shows them cleaned up! The left one has been cleaned and the right has not.

[ID: The two eyes laying flat on a gray countertop. The left one is still moderately foggy but is much much clearer than the one to the right. There is a slight gradient in the iris and a small light blue highlight towards the bottom. The right eye is much foggier and is still very bumpy. /end ID]

As for the nose, I was originally planning on doing a larger nose (at least for an anime doll. Closer to what a Dollfie Dream Alna looks like versus the typical very skinny pointed nose) but the more I looked at her, the more I felt she resembled Pinoko from Black Jack. The eye shape, nose shape, and mouth shape (as well as how the eyelashes were painted) felt near identical, so I took inspiration from how Tezuka drew her nose when I was sculpting. I wanted it to flow into the rest of the profile naturally (that does not make much sense but it will once I show the pictures, or so I hope). I didn't want to do a super big difference with her nose, and stick to the original aesthetic as much as I could (which was my goal for most of this project, stick to the original but make it look a bit less "haunted doll" (as one forum member described her)).

[ID: Pinoko from Black Jack. She looks surprised or startled in the photo. She is a pale young girl with a orange-brown bob with bangs, wide brown eyes, a small round nose and a round face. She is wearing a blue shirt. /end ID] (This photo is from the All of Black Jack artbook if anyone is curious)

^Pinoko for reference. I hope the similarities are clear to see! I took some "pre-op" photos of miss yucky (she still does not have a name) and then got to work with some superfine white milliput.

[ID: Images of the blank head from the front and both sides. The first three photos show what the head looked like before the nose, and the second three photos show what she looks like with the nose. The nose is a very stark white compared to the rest of the head and is fairly small. It is upturned and has a slightly rounded tip. It flows into the rest of the profile smoothly, causing it to look very natural from the side. /end ID]

I was not perfectly happy with the nose but it was pretty close to what I had wanted, and I hoped that painting would just fix my issues. It is hard to see here but her eyeholes are also more evened out, although it is a VERY small difference.

The next step was a faceup, which was admittedly very scary. I got nail brushes to help get the fine lines a bit better than what I could do with my usual brushes (my hands are IMMENSELY shaky and have not wanted to cooperate at all during this project, thus the faceup has taken forever because I want to get it right) and wanted to pretty much just redo the previous faceup but with eyebrows and not the scariest skintone situation known to man.

For some context here - normally with faceups, you start with using chalk pastels to shade the head, then go in with watercolor pencils to get the lines, and then do acrylic paint last before doing the final sealing and glossing areas that need to be glossed. I normally follow this to a T, you can see that in my past faceups, I do most of the blushing and the eyeshadow colors first, then go through the rest of the steps.

This was not the case with this head, as I started off with trying to sketch her eyelashes with a watercolor pencil (this did NOT want to cooperate with her head texture/sealant texture) and then eventually just gave up and went in with watercolor paints on a brush. This was ALSO a pain (she wanted to be so so evil to me during this step I think lol) so I just went in with acrylics before doing anything else on the head. Her faceup was going to be mostly acrylics (minus the blushing on the cheeks) as I wanted to keep a similar look to how Tezuka paints Pinoko (he was a very big inspiration during this project, and is why I am doing certain steps, such as the nose and eyes (when I get there) the way I am) and keep the head's cartoonish and cute appearance. The eyelashes were the worst part of it, as I wanted to keep them symmetrical or as much as I could, but it was very hard. I got through the faceup immensely slowly, but to be fair, I was working on another faceup as I did hers (as I wanted to redo both of my anime style heads).

The eyebrows were OBJECTIVELY the worst part of this faceup though, as even in the mockup, I really struggled to paint ones that I felt suited her. At this point, I was really empathizing with the previous faceup artist as with her eyeshape, good eyebrows were hard to do. My other struggle was matching the nose to the vinyl. I am normally somewhat decent with color matching (again, doing Cordula's faceup around 3 times and having to color match the head to the body with paint each time helped here), but this was just very rough, as even with sanding, I felt the nose didn't blend into the face the way I wanted it to. The color was off and I couldn't figure out exactly HOW which was a very big pain. Admittedly, in lower lighting, the nose mod looks GREAT but up close with harsh lighting (which is how I do my faceups), it looked pretty rough. I'm not done with the faceup just yet, so I'm really including a few WIP pics, as I will be tossing the finished faceup pics in when I make the part 2 of this post :)

First off, the nose painted pics:

[ID: The head, now with the sculpted nose that is painted over, on a messy desk. The first image is in harsh lighting and the line where the nose mod begins and the vinyl head is more apparent. The second image is in darker and warmer lighting, and the mod looks more natural. The third image is under the same harsh lighting and shows the head tilted on its back, showing the side view of the nose that is painted. This angle makes it look better than in the first image. The paint is nearly perfect color matched but is slightly off. /end ID]

For my very first attempt doing a mod like this, I was very pleased with how it looked. Milliput is NOT as bad to work with as I anticipated and with the paint, the nose looked pretty natural. It definitely encouraged me to want to work with it more in the future, which is good (as I need to go back and fix Aca's top surgery a bit lol, as I was too scared to do the sculpting at first for him, but now I feel moderately confident about it). It was pretty fun to sculpt it but the painting was a bit of a pain since it was just off in a way that I couldn't put my finger on.

Next up, the most recent WIP

[ID: A closeup of the head, with the same cartoonish lashes painted on in black that she had before. The lashes are incomplete, with the left eye being painted partially with dark brown paint and the right in black paint. Both eyes have the bottom lashes fully painted in black and faint brown pencil marks serve as guides to place the lashes. The right eye has the first two eyelashes painted in black, whereas the left only has the pencil marks. She is very faintly blushed with a light pink on her cheeks. Another doll head in the process of being painted is in the background of the photo, mostly out of shot. /end ID]

I did dark brown paint first, in hopes that I could just outline it first and then do the blushing I needed to, but the stupid paint was NOT going on solid. So i had to jump right into the black paint and pray for the best. The best thing about acrylic paint is you can wipe it off with water easily. The faceup has been taking days, not just because of my chronic pain flaring up and making it hard to move my hands in a way that would work to make these eyelashes right, but because I am doing one lash at a time. This makes sure that my prior work isn't erased if I need to redo a lash but it makes it take a lot more time. I did this for both the heads I was working on, as they both are very fine motor skill required and I needed to get them perfect. The nose mod is also a bit more visible here, it really looks good in certain lighting and bad in others which makes it frustrating lol.

That's all for this VERY long post, ty if you have made it this far! The next post will hopefully be including progress on:

The faceup (hopefully done lol)

Eye making (this will be a VERY miserable time for me I fear)

The way I'm working with my personal modifications to the body to get the head to fit on there

Wig making/styling a wig I have to be her temp wig

And as a little bonus treat, her with Beatrix before I got her cleaned up :)

[ID: A pale vinyl BJD with an orange wig holding the project head. The doll holding the head has green eyes, and a very orange toned faceup. She is sitting on a white shelf and is wearing a white turtlenck and a striped yellow and white skirt. Their heads are around the same size. The project head has had no work done on her in this photo, so the contrast between the heads appearances in this photo is quite stark. /end ID]

#twist rambles #bjd posting #this is LONG long. so that is why it is under a cut lmao #and i need to make a post showing bea's faceup progress i think... but i gotta work on their heads a bit more now.#its insane how well its gone. i rly think shes happy to be home and grateful im helping her look a bit better :)#and in unrelated news good god im so glad i redid bea's faceup bc mannn it looks so much better now lmao. even if she was crazy stained #from the past faceup lol.#anyways. back to work. but this is what ive been working on for like a week but didnt wanna derail from the strike bc of how long of a post #ik it would be. like. as u can see i can talk abt dolls for forever. but this is not like... even all of the stuff i could talk about but i #wanted to kind of take ppl on the journey i was on #i think this is prob the longest doll post ive ever made good godddd... so sorry lol

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