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#key word: *eventually*

whumptimebaby · 2 years

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that makes sense. thank you! and i mean i’m always down for hurt/comfort

my little heart is ready to be broken again honestly

Hehehe >:-)

Hopefully it won't stay broken for long though :,)

#writing the beach fic was good for my mental health 😭 expect more fluff eventually #key word: eventually #for now: angst 👹

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m1d-45 · 1 year

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i gobbled and devoured the post imposter things. scrumptious!! but what if poor little xiao man feels guilty for hunting or scarring us in the hunt? and please don’t feel obligated to answer, i know you’re busy

burden to bear

word count: 2.7k

-> warnings: spoilers for liyue archon quest, canon typical violence…. minor body horror? blood mention.

-> gn reader (you/yours)

taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yum1x || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay

< masterlist >

during the hunt itself, xiao is driven by a need to prove himself, pushing past his instinct and the way his karma flares around the one on the throne. he sees it as a way to redeem himself, to finally scrape some of the sin off his hands. it’s a way to prove himself, and one he takes eagerly.

it’s not correct to say he’s blinded by faith, but it’s not exactly wrong either. he definitely feels, subconsciously, that something’s… off, maybe, about his god. perhaps it’s the way his vision always seems to flutter and flare, or the ice in his veins when the command to hunt is given. he feels uneasy, unsettled, finding himself rolling his shoulders and wondering if he needed to add more stretches into his routines. and yet, despite the tension in his shoulders and the twist in his stomach, he kneels, bowing his head with a swear of fealty that goes unanswered.

unacknowledged.

perhaps he had delivered it wrong?

he doesn’t think much of it, quickly dissolving from the throne room and appearing besides the statue of the seven on the west edge of liyue. looking out over jueyun karst, he knows it’s a bit fruitless to start his search there due to the vicinity to the other adepti, but the spires there are tall, filled with wiry bushes and crags of rock that are easier to hide in than may seem at first glance.

he draws his pole arm, spinning it once over his hand before tapping the end to the stone beneath him. he’s not sure why he’s so nervous—is it the fact that this is technically the first order he’s been given? is it the idea of slaughtering somebody so identical to his creator that it nearly fooled morax, who’s been alive longer than he could fathom?

or is it simply the prospect of failure?

xiao grits his teeth and steps off the edge of the floating stone, halting his fall with anemo at nearly the last possible moment.

his feelings meant nothing. orders were given, and he had to follow them.

why else was he there, if he couldn’t?

it takes him longer than he expected to find you. he’s almost impressed, really, that you managed to evade his searching eyes, that you dodged not only him but the other adepti as well, all without taking refuge in any villages or otherwise civilized areas due to the orders the millelith put out. you hid well, he could attest to that, and though he was the one to find you, it was only on accident.

he was clearing out a group of hilichurls north of the inn. he was surprised so many had settled so close to the statue of the seven, as hilichurls usually avoided concentrated elemental energy, but didn’t think too hard about it. he simply unhooked his mask from his belt, noticing the difference in strength between these hilichurls and the average, and teleported into the middle of the camp.

the first thing he heard was a spotter’s cry. the second was the mitachurls’—archons, there were three—roar as they hefted their weapons. the final one was the intricate chanting of the abyss, but not any incantation he recognized.

he kept himself half in smoke as he danced around the edge of the camp, taking out the archers while he tried to find the abyss mage. he could catch glimpses of hydro bubbles through the walls of the hut, but the steps were covered in frost-

he barely ducked under the swing of a mitachurl’s axe, slashing his spear along its side as he slipped away, darting across the path of one charging with a large stone shield. it clipped his shoulder despite his efforts, pain spiking down his arm, but he didn’t pay attention to the injurh. normally he wouldn’t be this distracted, but two abyss mages and three mitachurls in one camp could only spell bad news. the best he could likely do was to leave and grab back-up, but who? the millelith were busy, morax and the adepti were on their own search…

xiao quickly climbed onto the roof of the hut, jamming his spear between two of the logs to keep grip on the woven roofing. the grass was damp, squishing uber this feet, likely from whatever hydro magic the mage was busy with within it. it likely wasn’t the smartest idea to stand on the roof, but this area of liyue was mostly plains, with little cover from the charging mitachurls. he needed a moment, if only a short one, to hash out a plan to deal with the camp.

the three mitachurls were standing besides the hut, two with shields and one with a crackling axe, electro dancing along the blade. xiao shifted, pivoting around the peak of the hut to move away from that one, the grass roof squishing below his feet.

the mitachurl’s ear twitched.

he shoved himself off the roof just as the mitachurl slammed the flat of its blade onto the roof, the whole shack shaking. electricity swarmed across the waterlogged roofing, reaching the opposite edge just as xiao dropped off it, landing between the other two mitachurls. they didn’t charge, nor attack, their motivations only made clear when the hiss of cryo froze out the lingering moisture in the air in front of him, effectively boxing him in.

the abyss mage swayed in its circle, staff glowing a sharp blue from within its bubble of frost.

“leave, adeptus,” it hissed, waving its staff in a circle. “you have no place here.”

xiao didn’t reply, instead picking apart his options. he couldn’t do significant damage to the shield mitachurls without utilizing his burst to destroy their shields, but that didn’t cover the mage at all… and he was still wet from the roof, so the mage would be able to freeze him within the time he had drawn in enough anemo energy to wield his mask with any level of efficiency…

he flexed his hand around his polearm. how had he gotten into this situation? his only options were to get lucky or teleport away, but even the latter of those relied on the first.

luck. how useless was he, to rely on luck-?

“‘adeptus’?”

the abyss mage startled at the voice, the cryo it had been swirling dissipating. both he and it turned to the side, to the entrance to the hut, where a figure could be seen just beyond the mitachurl.

his first instinct was that it was his god, and he briefly relaxed under the knowledge that he’d get out of this in mostly one piece.

his second was to recognize the torn clothing and dirt-smeared skin, and realize that you could never be his god.

xiao’s eyes narrowed, his spear twisting towards you faster than the distracted mage could react. you, his target, the one he had been seeking out, were hiding behind the abyss. he should have expected it, in truth, figured out the one known for going against the rules of nature would side with the most unnatural force, but that was not for now.

not now, when he was launched forward by the power of anemo, his spear driving him forward, barely skimming the mitachurl in favor of his true target: you.

your eyes barely had the chance to dart in his direction.

xiao was, in truth, not the first one to see you.

many villagers had glimpsed you running around the outskirts of their villages, plucking apples and sunsettias off trees and taking mint from their gardens and leaving bundles of sweet flowers behind instead. they’d seen you, face half-covered in a poor mask made of scraps, your clothes that of the haphazard stitches of the hilichurls, which helped you blend into teyvat a bit more at the price of comfort. many had seen you and assumed you were a run of the mill thief, perhaps one taking advantage of the current hunt since the millelith were occupied. they wryly called you clever, warning the traveling merchants about you, the one they glimpsed at inane hours of night.

he wasn’t the first to see you, by far. he was, however, the first to recognize you.

he was the first to lay eyes upon your form and realize the truth, to realize that the blood seeping into your clothes was the color of stars and galaxies, to recognize that your heart beat blue.

the argument could be made that the hilichurls were the first, or perhaps the mages that had taken you in and brought you food, but it was not them that gathered you into their arms and whisked you away in a flash of teal, uncaring of the spike of cryo that drove into their side at the last minute. the hilichurls did not walk with frosted-over limbs, the abyss did not cry with a throat full of ice, calling for assistance in undoing their own crime.

xiao couldn’t decide whether it was lucky or not that baizhu was in the pharmacy, speaking with herbalist gui over the front desk. on one hand, it was best to have the most experienced healer in liyue at your side, but on the other..

“adeptus xiao, what is-…..”

confusion, then anger, then realization, all flashing over his face in an instant before he tilted his head and walked quickly to a back room, xiao following.

he busied himself with picking the ice off his body and clothes, ignoring the shake of his hands and the stench of blood in the room. the mage had pulled you from the point of his spear, but he still hit the side of your stomach, and he could tell it was messy.

knocks sounded at the door but baizhu turned them away sharply, only allowing qiqi to pass him a bowl of lotus seeds. he was focused, changsheng slithering off his shoulders to grab supplies as needed. time seemed to slow to a crawl, like xiao had entered a domain without an exit, filled with the iron smell of blood and the never ending chips of ice he peeled from his skin. it left behind stinging wounds and red marks, but he couldn’t find it in him to care.

what was his brief moment of injury compared to a scar upon his god?

the moment that baizhu had stopped, all but collapsing into a chair and wiping off his hands with a tired call of ‘it’s done. the foundation will be okay.’ xiao had stood and left, biting his tongue through the protests of both his own body and the doctor.

he’d given changsheng his confession, but he did not wish to stick around and hear his verdict.

weeks later, morax came and visited him at the inn, carrying with him a plate of almond tofu and an apology. xiao leaned against the furthest edge of the balcony, curled around the plate, staying as far as he could from the one with your aura imprinted upon him.

he felt it, when zhongli had first come up the stairs. the shock, then the warmth, the all-encompassing comfort that soothed the pain from the bruising on his shoulder. he felt it, and knew that he did not deserve it.

“it’s not your fault,” zhongli insisted, baritone words colored with unreturned sympathy. “the fake… had fooled us all. even me. i cannot hold your actions against you when i myself would have done the same.”

and maybe that was true. maybe he would have drawn his own weapon, pierced your skin himself, acting on the orders of one who dared to take the place of the divine, but that was irrelevant.

xiao was the one who had hurt you. and it was entirely his fault.

almond tofu, his favorite dish, tasted bitter and sour on his tongue, almost akin to the pain medication that zhongli had made him drink after noticing how cautious he was with his injured arm. he’d made him take the first dose in front of him and swear to take the rest, with a long monologue about taking care of himself tacked on afterwards, but it was for nothing. aside from the first night he had it, xiao hadn’t touched the bottle. it sat on his nightstand, beside a bed he hardly used, taunting him when he returned earlier than usual.

he could take it. there was nothing stopping him from doing so, and he probably should if he wanted to return to his duties quicker. but every time he picked up the glass, thumb tracing over the engravings as he undid the top, he hesitated.

he could take it. he probably should. but did he deserve to?

you were still recovering, possibly still bedridden weeks later. your blood still stained his spear, dripping down to his palms, pale and scarred skin marked further with the blue and purple swirls of his sin. you were still in pain, still healing from a spear to your side, and he was here, reaching for medicine for a sore shoulder?

(it was worse than that. bone had knocked against bone, bruising beneath where muscle could reach. it ached even when he sat as still as possible, dragging him out of every attempt to meditate. the dark purple splotches stretched beyond his clothing, reaching across his back and up his neck, making nearly any action flare the wound. it was far beyond an over-exerted muscle or a particularly tiring day, and yet even the worst nights of his pain were staved off by the memory of having to wash blue off his blade. even as the latch on the bottle was undone, the lip pressed to his, he could never bring himself to drink it)

(even the small droplet of it on the rim, tasting of qingxin extract and violet grass, threatened to make him sick. how dare he?)

yes, it would likely only get him into more trouble were he found out, but he was careful not to be. whenever the wind brought him the heavy presence of geo, zhongli’s familiar footsteps climbing the stairs, he snatched the bottle and emptied it into the stone carving on the balcony, letting the medicine soak into the soil beneath it. it splashed when he was sloppy, the deep purple medicine appearing blue on the stone, sparking a memory that weighed harder on the pit in his stomach.

even as he handed the bottle over to zhongli, his jaw clenched from the strain on his shoulder. the action was stiff, jerky, but evidently smooth enough that it had passed his assessment.

zhongli tucked the bottle away, surprisingly not drawing out a new one.

“i am proud of you, and of the progress you have made,” he said, golden eyes softening in the light of dusk. “well done, xiao.”

how strange, he thought, watching him leave, that the very action that made his vision swim with unshed tears was one that was praised.

he wouldn’t complain, of course. he never would. this pain was his to bear, just as the burden of your bloodshed was his to shoulder. he was well aware his pain could never take back yours—though he wished, desperately, that he could move your injury to him. he wanted to be able to take on the physical reminder of his defect, to take the hit of his own spear to spare you from his lapse in judgement. he would take it, take ten times the pain you endured, if only it meant that your skin was free of his scars.

it would be an honor to assist the divine, even at the price of his own life.

#genshin #genshin impact #sagau #self aware genshin #genshin sagau #sagau impostor au #genshin self aware au #sagau xiao #xiao #xiao x reader #xiao x you #genshin x reader #sagau x reader #*lying through my teeth* what do you mean of course i don’t have favorites #hey writer tip here: just write. i know you think it’s gonna be bad. i know it’ll likely seem strange and off-key. guess what? write.#just do it. best advice ever. who cares if it’s shit? you can rewrite it later! once you get through the bad and into the groove it’s fine!!#you’ve gotta expel your Bad Words to get to the good stuff. take it from me i always rewrite my beginnings whenever i post #the first paragraphs are gonna suck! and that’s okay! just keep goin baby!! you’ll get it eventually!!#oh btw just so it’s clear: zhongli’s proud of him for taking the meds not for his um. violent acts.#it’s meant to be a ‘thank you for trusting me and accepting help’ but the twist is: he ISNT #i love xiao. with all my heart. i absolutely adore him. he is my beloved little blorbo.#but good lord do i like to see him cry sometimes.

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stevyguts · 1 year

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I see that ring on Mr. Stick's finger. Who's the unlucky/lucky guy/gal with the other ring?

I don't think he wants to talk about it.

#mr. stick #mr stick #pizza tower #pizza tower au #domestic route au #this also answers to q about quebecois slang #i'll reveal it eventually #key word is eventually #it will probably be anticlimactic but oh well lol #thank you for the asks btw! i love answering these :]

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angeltism · 7 months

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hey real quick shout out to anybun who holds grudges or doesn't let things go easily . uu aren't childish , immature or dramatic .

there is no set time limit for how long uu are "allowed" to be upset or hurt about something , and everybun takes different amounts of time to move on or heal from things and it's perfectly normal to maybe even never truly move on .

uur emotions are valid and uu don't need to bottle them up or get angry at uurself for feeling them , all I can recommend is finding things that help uu get them out in a healthy way until they affect uu less and less . which they will , even if it takes a really long time , trust me .

uu are loved and deserve nice things , ok ?

#➳ the fool speaks #the key word here is *healthy* ways 2 express uur emotions #write cringe poetry abt uur heartbreaks ! shred up some paper thinking abt that one asshole who insulted uu the other day !#i know when uu hold grudges it can be tempting 2 do things that may be hurtful to those uu are upset or hurt about but in the end #it p much tends to only lead to uu caring more about it instead of eventually letting go of it . or being ''slightly less affected by it''#which is the goal here !#anyways my heart goes out 2 all of uu i am wishing ya'll so much rest and happiness and the capability to ignore anybun who tries to #tell uu how 2 process uur emotions and that uur [insert negative stuff] for nawt Never Being Affected By Anything In The Universe™#bc those are the kinds of ppl worth ignoring y'know #i should probably put this in some positivity tags #positivity #sure #fhsjfhsjdj #idk no ideas i just had the urge to write this even if nobun sees it

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8rujaa · 15 days

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i just saw ur going back to work and not feeling like a person post and im going thru the same thing rn, i have to start working soon but ive been unemployed and basically not interacting with ppl since october... how did u do it?

man i don’t know, i was scared the whole time, it caused me to become dissociated and even more unable to act like a human… it took me a whole year to be able to get out of that. i really don’t know how, i think just being patient with myself, not beating myself up, and trying to find the root of where that fear came from helped a lot. i had deep-dived into self care and wellness, also had downloaded an app called “circles” and joined their support group for a few months and it really helped me feel less alone. my best suggestion to you is to simply be patient and gentle with yourself. if you do a little bit of work everyday to get closer to who you want to be, eventually you’ll get there. this was the mentality i basically had/have:

#i know it’s not easy and i sympathize with you and am sending you a lot of love #if you’re able to find a support system even online…. communal support has always been the key to healing #i’m these moments is when we feel the most alone… and it’s when the support of others is most helpful.#you’ll find that there’s always communities where you belong… finding those safe spaces can be fun #also at first you’re most likely going to deal with a lot of trial and error… remind yourself it’s okay and you’re one step closer to #feeling like you again #i had pushed myself to do things i loved more and more everyday and then one random tuesday i woke up feeling complete…#if you get lost in things you love eventually you will feel fuller :•)#im not the best at giving advice and i’m not sure if my words will be helpful but if it means anything; i’m rooting for you #and i hope you feel like a person again soon 🫂#inbox

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bladesofkyber · 1 year

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ok so if you watch kratos take off his bandages in reverse it’s like a fucked up magical girl transformation sequence

#god of war 2018 #god of war #kratos #im gonna gif this eventually #key word being eventually #this is a shitpost

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booksandpaperss · 5 months

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my prediction is that with the skeleton crew the pornbots are gonna get more and more advanced and find a way to completely clog the site and the crew won’t rlly be able to do anything and that is what will eventually kill tumblr

#key word eventually lol #elli’s random thoughts

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kat-simss · 2 years

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Life/Blog Updates

I’m alive! Hurray!

I was originally planning on playing the sims more over the summer, but then I got busy. I worked all summer researching, and now I’m back in college with a job (!!!) and am starting to tentatively think about graduate schools. Man, it feels weird to see that typed out.

Anyways, this is a long-winded way of saying I’m still here and hoping to play some sims a little bit soon, but I’m also really busy with life things. I was going to post some updates to my aging mod setup (nothing major, just adding additional options for a slightly longer lifespan, etc.), but somehow managed to leave my external drive (with all of my projects on it) at home, so that’ll be delayed until I can bribe my parents into bringing it when they come to visit.

Uhhhh...That’s kind of it for now??? I guess??? anyways imma go play ts2 now and maybe post some stuff? It won’t be consistent like it (kind of) was when I was in high school; I’ve realized that not only do I have a lot more responsibilities, but I kind of like it that way, if that makes sense? I dunno, I just like to keep busy and if I go for too long letting myself set my own hours and schedule without something else to do, I basically just end up as a sad lump on the floor.

TL;DR: Adulthood is difficult, but also really enjoyable, I’m a lot happier than I think I was in high school, and I wanna play the sims again! I’ll get around to it! Eventually!

Edit: Oh, and also I turned twenty! That’s really weird! I’m like not a teenager anymore and idk how to deal with that. Like

mentally I’m here rn

#eventually is the key word here #but I'm alive!#I exist!#also I've rekindled my love for medieval history via a medieval literature course I'm taking so uh #will kat open up her medieval game and actually play soon??? stay tuned for updates #nonsims kinda #personal

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lockoutkey · 1 year

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if it's any consolation hot soup has become a tic and i shouted it during my math test lmao

NOOOOO omg i’m sorry but that’s kinda funny but also i hope you weren’t too embarrassed about it. when it was my main stim I would treat it how streamers say pogchamp. my friends would be like “omg something good just happened” and My ass would say hot soup 😭

#key asks #tangosv #sometimes i would get the word that in front so i said that’s hot soup and it made it sound like a vaguely normal thing to say #but eventually they learn i just said hot soup when something good happens

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amarrymeinbostonwriter · 2 years

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Working on fixing some of my personal writing so that I can enter it in a scholarship contest for my university. It’s not a lot of money, if I win but it will cover 1 class completely and pay for about half of a 2nd class if I win. I feel pretty good about this story too.

It’s about a gay WWI vet and his best friend who also served in the war. His best friend becomes a female husband and marries a war widow who he falls in love with. She’s bisexual too and when they first meet her she has a girlfriend so the two soldiers know she also likes women.

“Female husband” was a historic term for people who would either be butch women or trans men today (depending on each person) but terms are more broad/vague because of the time period it comes from. Basically, it referred to any female born person who dressed as a man in order to legally marry a woman. So it was a work around to get out of the enforced straight marriages- as long as a couple had one person who presented and passed as male and one who presented and passed as female, they could get married.

The gay character was the main character but I think I like the married couple better after writing and rewriting so many different scenes from the same story for several months.