Tumgik
#keeping goinging
mumblelard · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
candy corn gorp and rich text rosetta stones
24 notes · View notes
prettyboykatsuki · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
afflictions | u. ochako
♡ tags ; gn!reader, fluff, office relations, mentions of drinking, best friend bakugou (to ochako), from halloween that i just finished lol
♡ wc ; 1.3k
♡ a/n ; this is selfship content ngl. but its okay. ochako i want u sooo bad
♡ synopsis ; ochako has been avoiding her office crush post a halloween fiasco and it's starting to weigh on her conscience.
Tumblr media
"You're way over thinking this, Uravity."
Bakugou casts Ochako a glance as she sighs over her cup of tea. He might be right, but for the minute it doesn't mean anything. She frowns, burying her face in her hands.
For the first time since highschool, Ochako Uraraka is head-over-heels pining. There's good news and bad news.
The good news is that the person she likes has a decently high chance of liking her back if the universe isn't just playing her like a fiddle. The bad news is that they work together, not even as Hero's. Ochako's in love with someone from the research department in the agency, a co-worker.
She can feel Bakugou's eyes boring lasers into her head but she can't help it. This whole situation has blown out of proportion and what was once a thirsty passing office crush is a full-blown romantic entanglement and Ochako is entirely too interested in seeing it through. That's why she can't keep her eyes off you, leaned on the side of a cubical, laughing at some joke that Kirishima is relaying to you.
She leans her palm against her cheek before dropping her head against the table.
"Bakugouuu," She whines, wanting to bury herself away "What do I do?"
"Stop being a little bitch and talk to them." He offers, without remorse. Ochako shoots him a glare.
"It's not that easy."
"Oh my god, Cheeks—yes, it fucking is. Are you an idiot? They make fucking heart eyes at you every time you talk to them. It's disgusting."
Ochako giggles.
"Wait, really?"
"Like I said, disgusting. Why the fuck would I lie to you? I'm not Denki, I don't give a fuck. I'm just not blind."
Ochako sighs. That's true.
It wasn't always this.. complicated. Maybe that's the word. At first, Ochako was just interested in your appearance. You looked more put-together than the rest of the people in your team and you had a sort of easy-goingness that she was naturally drawn to. She likes looking at you, soft features but sharp and bright eyes.
The first time you two spoke was out of necessity. You were gathering information on the effects of exposure to violence over time within a bunch of heroes and needed permission from a bunch of different people. You chose Ochako because of her unique position as a rescue hero.
And at first, your little meetings were all work related. Surveys and scans and whatever important stuff the job entailed. Ochako's fluttery feelings started surfacing half-way through then, when your jokes became more relaxed. Your demeanor changed. You were starting to be comfortable with her and she liked that.
She's always thought this but she's a little drawn to people who were a little mild. The attractive, smooth way you spoke stopped being a passing thought. Gentle, intelligent, not too familiar but open-minded.
The final nail in the coffin was at Sero's Halloween party where you'd shown up in a lazy werewolf costume with shitty clip-in ears and a leash around your neck - fake fangs getting in the way of your cup. Ochako went as red-riding hood, a coincidence. Maybe it was the alcohol or the comfortable environment.
She doesn't know. She does know that with a few shots in her, she was dragging you around by the collar of your shirt calling you her big bad wolf and you followed her every whim. Let her sit in your lap and even took her home when she got drunk - with a text the next morning reading "hope you slept well, red."
Ever since then, Ochako's been.. kind of avoiding you. She doesn't want to. She's just... too embarrassed to look you in the face. Given her drunkeness, she doesn't remember everything. How you reacted to her, mostly. What if you weren't into her?
It's assuring to hear Bakugou so confident about it but it doesn't ease her nerves all the way.
"You know that new intern that came in last week?"
Ochako hums absent-mindedly.
"She confessed to your little lovebird yesterday." Bakugou says with a sigh. Ochako nods at first before freezing, hand slamming on the counter.
"Wait are you serious?"
"Don't miss your chance, Cheeks." Bakugou says with a sigh.
She takes a minute to gear herself up before stepping out of the kitchen into the office. She catches your eye first, waving and you immediately seem surprised before relaxing into a smile.
Kirishima whispers something to you, seemingly, before you punch his arm and wave him goodbye. Once he leaves, Ochako walks over to you - stopping just in front of you. You give her a grin.
"Thought you ran away from me, Red."
Ocahko feels her stomach flutter with familiar nerves. She resents how good you are at making her flustered.
"I didn't run anywhere." She counters. You chuckle, leaning your head against the wall.
"Good to know. Thought for sure you were leaving me out to dry."
"I wasn't though," She whines, a little taken by your smile "I was just... y'know."
"Do I know?"
"Ugh, seriously. I was just embarrassed, okay? I wasn't gonna avoid you forever." She mumbles, arms crossed over her chest.
Your expression softens a little just for her, and if Ochako didn't see it with her own two eyes - she wouldn't be able to believe it. You smile a little more.
"Yeah? I'm relieved. Thought maybe I should've been a little more strict with you. Assumed I made you uncomfortable."
"Oh, god - not at all, I just couldn't... remember every single thing. I thought maybe you were mad."
"As if I'd ever be mad at you? C'mon now." And you're there again, charming the wits of off her "I had a good time. It was fun being bossed around by you. Maybe I should've applied for sidekick after all."
She covers her face in embarassment.
"You're the worst."
"Big bad wolves usually are."
"Oh my god, shut up. You're so awful!"
You put your hands up in self-defense and she's in a fit of giggles. Heart fluttering so hard she feels like a teenage girl again. She musters up some more courage and looks at you.
"I'm glad I didn't ruin your night."
"I'm glad I didn't ruin yours," You reply back, leaning in a little "Missed seein' your pretty smile."
"Jeez. No wonder all of interns are falling for you."
"Now where'd you hear that from?"
She scoffs a little, playful but sarcastic.
"I've got eyes everywhere, obviously. Do you talk to everyone like that or something? Those poor, naive girls. They don't even know what they're signing up for."
You huff some air through your nose, eyes lowered.
"And what would that be?"
"A wolf in sheeps clothing."
You laugh at her little joke.
"Have some faith me in, will you? I already turned her down."
"Really?"
She makes an attempt at masking her excitement but it's not with much effort. You nod, hands in your pockets.
"Yeah. Told her there was someone else I was interested in."
Ochako feels her heart pound.
"There is?"
"Sure is. Except, she's techincally my boss so I don't really know how I should go about telling her. Tough luck."
Holy shit. You mean her. You give her a coy smile, reaching a hand out to pat her head before you leave.
"I'll see you at lunch, Red."
"Y-yeah. See you,"
You crack one more smile before turning the other way, giving her a final wave before mozying off in the other direction. When she's sure your out of earshot, her knees nearly give in from what was basically a confession.
She turns her head back to the breakroom before running towards, stumbling back in to Bakugou over a cup of coffee. He gives her a bored stare.
"Holy SHIT,"
"Told you so,"
Tumblr media
111 notes · View notes
hyacinthstears · 20 days
Note
Do u plan on making a fanfic about ur au or are you going to keep it as comics?
Its goinging to be a comic!
The imagery of Leo's eyes. the smoke from Raphs cigarette, Mikeys scars, and donnies outfit are import! and i think it will be best protrated visual.
I really like subtle foreshadowing and I'm not a good enough writer to implement them with it coming off to obvious or forced.
3 notes · View notes
imagines-babes · 2 years
Text
Love in the Dark(C!Wilbur Soot)
Helloo again sorry I didn’t post earlier this week. I’ve been sick and the Long waited face reveal of Mr. Wastaken honestly I think he’s hot. And don’t get me started with George’s videos or the twitchcon things. But enough about me or my thoughts. This week story is C!Wilbur when he destroy L’Manburg. I haven’t proofread and the song is ‘Love in the Dark’ by Adele.
Wilbur List Masterlist
************
Counting down the days to the disaster.
Day 20
Techno had gotten a letter as I stood behind him taking bits and pieces. We took a horse to met them in a place Tommy made. Pogtopia. Once we meet them outside of their place. Wilbur has change since being kicked out of the nation he built. All because of power. All because he wanted to run a campaign thinking he would win. But they lost by one percent. They could've won it all but no. They were thrown out the second he, Schlatt, was made president. Wilbur didn't speak to us. What could you say when you just lost a nation. Tommy keep on talking not stopping. The boy had hope we could take it back. As for me, the country i once knew was already gone before I have even got there. Techno just nods walking in as well as Tommy while Wilbur and I stayed outside. "How you been?" Wilbur asked me as he tried to make eye contact. "I've been fine training , eating potatoes, and being with techno in the cold. I've just been fine" It was quiet between us but what were we supposed to say. We were both lover till I decided to leave L'Manburg to adventure but as for Wilbur he wanted me to stay and be the First Lady. "I'm sorry about your country," I made eye contact with him. "It's alright let's go inside before the mobs find us."
Day 17
Techno already started to make his potato farm as for me I made a fence by the stair so No one would slip. Wilbur thought it was a foolish idea but shortly after saved himself from falling. It was quiet funny to watch as he looked over to me. With a smile. That smile I missed from him.
Day 14
Dream came to visit us supply tnt to destroy Lmanburg. On the face of Wilbur it looked like that was the only option for us to destroy. Tommy didn't want that option. But it wasn't up to Tommy. Wilbur had to make it. He looked at everyone in the room to see their face. For them, y/n, they had a stone cold face looking to their knife. Techno notice Wilbur stare at them. He may not be good with his emotions but that face Techno has seen it before from y/n. That was a face of remembrance and lost love.
Day 10
Techno was under pressure from schlatt. He had to do it he had to shoot the boy Tommy saw his friend life slipping away. As for techno he started to light the fireworks letting us run back to Pogtopia. I started to help Tommy with tubbo. Just to only see him fight his tears. We made it to the place. With the yells between Tommy and Techno. Only to top it off with the laughs of Wilbur. I help tubbo get better with the help of Niki. Leaving that room to see two more faces get bruises and blood. "Leave it in the hole Tommy." Techno left to his potatoes. While Tommy left to see Tubbo. Leaving Wilbur and I alone.
Day 5
Slowly new people started to join us. Gathering some supplies for the war. Dream told us there was a traitor and that he won't be helping us. He said that Schlatt offer him something that he couldn't refuse. Everyone was on edge wondering who it was. Tommy thought he was bluffing. Wilbur just stood in the back. Looking at us all and I knew he was hiding something.
Disaster
That morning, everyone was up eating, training or just getting more supplies. Goinging outside to see Wilbur near a cliff where the sun was coming up from. "So you still see the sun rise in the morning?"
Wilbur turned his head to look over at me. "Well it's like the peace before the storm you know." All I did was nod. "You are planning on blowing it up still aren't you?" I just needed the conformation coming from him. He's been leaving at night crafting more tnt with signs. He's been leaving every night and wouldn't come back till morning. "That is still undetermined but I will know my answer with the outcome of today." Taking in a breath I heard cough looking behind to see techno. "Come on I have something to show you all" with that I left Wilbur side to go with Techno. He put his hand on my shoulder, "you know he's not the same man you used to love in Lmanberg" I stop in my tracks turn to face Wilbur body as he stayed in place. "I know and if he had to choose between his LManberg or Me. He would choose his Lmanberg without doubt." I left Techno. Techno stayed to see Wilbur turn to see me leaving. He heard what they said and deep down he was hurt to hear it out of your mouth.
Timeskip
It was done the war was done. Wilbur presented a new president. Twice. Techno wasn't fond of it. I waited to talk to Wilbur before I had to leave again. To see him walking away from the people but to a hill near the podium. Following after him to hear him sing the LManburg anthem. In the hall it echo but in the room was sign carved in with the lyrics. 'My LManburg.' Wilbur turn to seen me standing. "So this is where you've been every night huh?" I wanted to walk inside more but it was like a barrier. All he did was nod getting closer to me. "You are gonna blow it up?" Once again he nod. "Why did you leave me?" Wilbur asked me. He wanted the truth and if this would be the last day for him to here so be it. He is gonna hear it. "I couldn't see myself with you in our future. I couldn't see you next to me. I couldn't picture us in a family. Only because of this country you made. I will always be second to this country maybe last sometime." Looking at Wilbur in a distance of 5feet apart. "You know that's not-" I brought out a laugh. "Not what-true? Will don't you hear me! You wanted to be a president be a ruler. I would've been there for you but I couldn't hide in the wall you have made. I wanted to explore and what you wanted was for me to stay home." Wilbur started to point at me. "That was because I wanted to keep you safe. Like i did with the boys." I laugh, "the boys or you. You never kept the boys safe I did I help them! I took care of them while you made deals or were out figuring out a plan for the next part." All he did was stare turning his back to me to face the button. "Then it's settle this country only made bad decisions. This country made me regret. This country is the cause of all problems. This country made me lose the person I loved.” A laugh appear as Wilbur turn for a second. “There was once a saying darling, by a traitor,” he faced front, “it was never meant to be.” With that he pressed the button within second the tnt lighting leaving 5seconds to run. I only saw Wilbur come close to me.
Boom
One went off then a train started of the tnt started. Some flew high getting more land to destroy this country. The country that everyone thought would last. Only lasted for short amount of time.
The debris followed as the mountain of ashes lead to the sky. I walk to the edge of where we were as I looked in the distance to see everyone looking in at me. Not only me just to Wilbur aswell. He jump laugh, “I did it,” he started off low but gain more voice, “I did it, My unfinished symphony darling.” He went up to bringing my sword out. “Do it Darling,” he kneel looking up to me. The confusion on my face stared to Wilbur kneeling. “I want you to kill me.” He started to repeat his words as I look looked in the crowd. “Do it they all want you to kill me! Look at their faces! I am not the Wilbur you loved! You even said it yourself.” He brought my sword to my hand as I gripped to it. “I will never be that Wilbur you need to realized that!” He said as I started to hear the calls of the boys shouting my name. The tears got the best of me as I put my sword through his body bringing him close to me. He last breathe was close to my ear as he fell against me. We both hit the ground as I tighten the handle. I cried to his shoulder. “But I loved you.” I said to his shoulder as the outside saw everything. That the two lover only had one to live in pain as the other went to their limbo.
19 notes · View notes
detectiveconnor · 1 year
Text
gooooooood morning! the sun is shining the birds are singing the sky is so beautiful today. i am thinking the best of things about you all, i'm exclusively writing connor today, next week I am back to work and i'll be full-time for the month so i am very much hoping to get some things kicked off and some other things keeping-goinged. say hello or simply do not, either way here is a cat emoji or three, i appreciate that we are alive together let's keep it up 🐈🐈🐈
3 notes · View notes
btsarmyforever2024 · 2 years
Text
"Jungkook-shi, why is that poor girl here?"
"poor? he's not poor. that's my brother and he came to stay here because of our mother's death. please treat him with respect."
"but can't he like go live in a shelter? I don't wan him here ruining out peace time."
"your just going to have to deal with it. and no he isn't goinging anywhere because I'm looking after him. I'm not gonna let my brother get hurt because you don't want him here."
"hey Taehyung, um, jungkook and I need some peace and alone time. could you like give him some space a little bit? maybe like go to a friend's house or something? I'm not trying to be mean. I just want Jungkook to have some space."
"b-but I can't leave Kookie alone. mommy says I have to stay by his side at all times."
"well your mommy isn't here. so in this house, you have to do as I say. so leave and let me and your brother have some alone time."
"what is wrong with you, y/n? how can you just say that to him? he's my brother and I don't care of you wan him here or not, he isn't leaving my side."
"but there are some things I wan to do with you in private but he's here. it will be creepy if he's watching."
"so? he's old enough. Tae, come here."
"y-yes hyungie?"
wanna go back home?"
"yeah."
"jungkook what are you doing? why are you going back home?"
"what? I can't go back home to my own family?"
"I never said that. I just didn't want you to leave."
"I have a family to get to. and after the way you behaved to my brother I don't want to be here anymore."
"so your leaving me because of this dump? I'm your girlfriend Jungkook. isn't that what we got together for? to make love and have sex?"
"no, that's what you wanted to date me for. you found out I had a big dick and you wanted to date me because you wanted me inside you. I'm not taking it this far, y/n."
"but I'm craving for you Jungkook. please give me a chance."
"what's going on here?"
"dad, jungkook mom passed away so he came her but he brought his brother. and because I told him to take Taehyung to a shelter he disagreed and wants to go home. and he won't have sex with me!"
"Jungkook just stay. you can let your brother go home but stay here."
"no. I'm not gonna let you and your daughter force me to stay her because she wants to have sex! that's not what your supposed to do! we just got together two days ago. and she's already rushing it!"
"it's okay hyungie. I can go home alone. you stay here with y/n noona and make her happy. I'll see you tomorrow."
"see? even your brother agrees. now come on."
"no! Taehyung I'm not telling you walk home by yourself! I'm supposed to keep you safe!"
"JUST LET IT GO JUNGKOOK! YOU DON'T NEED TO GO WITH HIM! I WANT YOU TO STAY HERE WITH ME AND YOUR GONNA DO THAT!"
(after you yelled at him he cried and ran out the door with Taehyung. you yelled after him and ran after them).
"Jungkook stop!"
"no leave me alone! first you say rude things to my brother and then you force me to stay with you because you want to have sex! and then you yelled at me! you think I want to stay here with you!?"
"seriously Jungkook? grow up! your 20 year's old. and your crying because I yelled at you? that's what's gonna happen in relationships."
"I don't care. I'm going home."
"no your not. I already told you Jungkook. your not leaving my house. you can go home tomorrow. now let's go.(you couldn't take it anymore so you slapped him really hard and grabbed his hand and walked to your house. you both reached there and you dragged him to your room)."
"now that your here alone what should we do?"
"I don't care I don't even want to talk to you."
your POV
"You don't want to talk to me? I didn't even slap you that hard. I just tapped your face. you didn't listen to me and you were too stubborn. you can't seriously ignore me because of that."
"yeah well I am. your not the best girlfriend I thought you were. I thought you were kind and sweet. but turns out your toxic and you slap people."
"so your saying you want to break up with me?"
"that's exactly what I'm saying. if you loved me so much then you'd know that i don't like toxic relationships. you'd know how to respect my brother."
"I can change. I can be more responsible. just please don't break up with me. I'm sorry for slapping you."
"that's not enough. I don't forgive people that easily. I'm going home." (I couldn't take it anymore so I grabbed his hand and forced down my underwear. I really wanted him to have sex with me.)
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!"
"why are you saying that? I thought we were meant to be together?
0 notes
bradshawsylvest90 · 2 years
Text
What is Your Immortalise of Horrendous Movement photographs
If you testament notice on gene I've erudite around gesticulate moving picture, it rightfully is that films are immanent for the a mint of share. Eve though your sidekick Crataegus laevigata possibly cause a blossom tenner platter of terrifying movies that totally stalker him/her out, your itemization of terrorization movies could peradventure be entirely respective. No fears! This is to be potential. It arrives from that entirely of us hold several fears consequently we are goinged to be panic-stricken of many animals, maniacs, goblins, ghosts, aliens, beasts and ghouls. Do you acknowledge what your inclination of in the lead terrific movies is composed of? On the meshwork you backside more often than not uncover lists of top of the inning movies. Whether or non they slide into the passionate comical, skill fabrication, scarey, thriller, expertness or dram categorization, you go on to be sure to go through various in the online ball. However, it truly is essential to take for in thoughts that a list of close to flick nut's John Major fifty dollar bill terrific crusade shots of perpetuity could amply controvert your catch. The solution is detecting the Charles Herbert Best terrific videos that persons selfsame standardized to yourself unremarkably advocate. It sounds amusing, yet I take witnessed respective lists of terrifying movies entirely o'er the network. Though Tulsa Oklahoma race massacre alter in fears to or so titles, nigh of them extend a turn of of the very Lapp direful motility depict ideas apiece and every clock. If you are not FAR to a fault into terrific move photos, withal are searching to learn prohibited a few of for Halloween or roughly peculiar issue, countenance me render a few that typically set about consider from every someone. Off you take "The Exorcist." I do not handling what checklist of terrific films you regard around, it Interahamwe Thomas More than most selfsame expected has this 70s terrifying smasher in it. Folks are equitable terrified of demons linked to the anti-Jesus Christ. An extra a person that unremarkably appears is "Halloween." This is the epitome of the traditional slasher moving picture. Movement exposure goers in essence bang the rationale of a swashbuckler in a mask, who does non talk, just but kills with awful furiousness. It is perpetually a reasonable thinking to have a glint at as many repulsion crusade shots as you can leading of generating your go past rated 10 checklist of dreadful films at whatsoever meter manufactured. You English hawthorn peradventure be shocked at more or less you get use in that early slasher enthusiasts scorned and ranted inadequately roughly on the net. The critical to discovering marvelous repugnance videos is wake them by yourself. Eve though you bump to be possible to prefer for the extra classics valued by well-nigh populate, at that place are sure as shooting a partner off of Modern ones you prat confidential information to your personal leaning of pinnacle rated shuddery movement photos. Even out though your sterling Lake Superior friend mightiness make a main ten checklist of dread movies that surely mouse him/her out, your lean of repugnance films could be perfectly diverse. It in truth is vital to go along to keep open in intellectual that a immortalise of or so cinema nut's first fifty dollar bill terrific films of totally time could altogether belie your aspect. It is ordinarily a A-one thought process to analyze stunned as numerous terrifying films as you fundament at one time earning your whirligig 10 listing of chilling films at any fourth dimension studied. Whilst you are nearly potential to go for the pleonastic classics valued by entirely hoi polloi, there are without doubt a few of sword cite-fresh kinds you arse unified to your private itemisation of John Roy Major chilling films.
1 note · View note
Text
.
1 note · View note
there-will-be-a-way · 3 years
Note
Hello <3 Intrusive asks: 3, 5 and 10? I hope you have a good day today!
Hiii, thank you for sending these!! My day's been great so far. I'm about to have my favorite snack and after that I'll spend some time with my horse 😄 I hope you're having an okay day too, and if not I hope that tomorrow will be gentler ❤️
3) whats your favorite/least favorite quality about yourself; why
When I was a child someone told me, "When I am with you, I don't feel like I have to talk. I can be comfortable in silence." I still think about this a lot and think it sums up what I like about myself, even if I can't really put it into words. I guess it comes down to not pressuring people or having expectations? I try to just let everyone be and roll with it. 😊❤️ And I think because of that I get along with a lot of different kinds of people, especially children love me 🥰 I think overall I'm pretty chill to be around, although my easy-goingness is sometimes interpreted as me not caring which is something I have to work on 🙈
What I don't like about myself is that I'm so full of hate and spite and anger and bitterness beneath the surface, because it can make it difficult to connect with others and it's also just plain exhausting. It is hard to bother me, but I also hold grudges a loooong time 😂 It's something I've been working on; being more compassionate and seeing myself in others. Truly doing my best to see other people's perspectives and becoming less judgemental when it comes to the few things that do bother me. Because we're all human, right? 😊 I'm actually about to start a meditation curse on forgiveness too, which I'm excited about!!
5) how often do people (not family members) tell you they love you
Not that often because I don't know that many people 😂, but it doesn't matter much to me. I have to say that I keep all the "I love you"s I hear in a treasure chest in my mind, though 🙈
10) do you believe in ghosts
After having a paranormal experience that both my mother and my sister witnessed as well, yes, 100%. I believe that everything has a consciousness and that parts of this consciousness can stay after death. I also low-key believe in parallel dimensions and think that maybe some of the beings we call ghosts, could be beings from a different world or a different time that overlaps with ours! (I'm so interested in this stuff!! Even though it scares me a bit 🙈 I actually protect myself from malicious spirits lol.)
8 notes · View notes
fanmoose12 · 4 years
Note
May I request a one shot where hanji goes to this cafe a lot to hear a pianist play and said pianist is Levi. (So i guess this is a cafe au? I'm not sure lol) and then romance blossoms between them ❤. Thank you and I hope you are well!
hey sorry for taking so long to finish this thing, but i’ve been veeeery busy with my homework
that being said, huuuge thanks for your prompt, i’ve had a lot of fun writing it!!
It was Hange’s favorite café. It was situated perfectly between her workplace and her apartment, and she liked its calm and cozy atmosphere. She also liked the people who worked there – the owner of the café was her college friend Erwin and Hange’s childhood friend Mike worked in the kitchen.
So she frequently visited the place, coming with Moblit or her other coworkers to relax after a long day of work with a cup of soothing tea, or stopping by to drink a cup of coffee with her friend Nanaba, chatting softly and enjoying Mike’s delicious cupcakes.
Every Friday, there was an evening of live music, and Hange came every week to listen to the soft sounds of the piano, that stood in the corner.
She did not, of course, come to gawk at the insanely attractive pianist with black hair and the most piercing grey eyes she had ever seen. She did not, because she didn’t find him attractive. At all. It’s just… he was really good at playing the piano and Hange lost herself in watching how his long and slender fingers pressed the keys, how he moved his hands across the instrument, never missing a single note. And that was all she liked about him! Surely she didn’t enjoy looking at his sharp and scowling face or his black shiny hair that obscured his beautiful eyes.
However, Hange couldn’t help but notice that all the songs he played were melancholic and more than a little bit sad. The more she watched the man, the more she wanted to unravel his mystery. He seemed lonely, so very lonely, and Hange wanted to know his story. She wanted to befriend him, to know more about him, maybe even put a smile on his permanently scowling face.
                                                           ***         
One evening, as she was once again mesmerized by the sight of the man, bended slightly over the piano, as his fingers danced over the keyboard, Hange got an idea.
She noticed, a long time ago, that from time to time, in between the songs, the man rose from his seat and exited the café, using the back door.
And this evening Hange, curious, decided to follow him.
When she walked outside, she saw the man, leaning against the brick wall and smoking a cigarette, his face raised up to stare at the night sky. Hange stopped dead in her tracks, unable to take her eyes away from the scene in front of her. She couldn’t stop staring at his long fingers, which held a cigarette, at the way he inhaled it, releasing the smoke slowly and watching the small cloud disappear into the night.
Looking at him like that, Hange was having problems remembering that she just wanted to befriend the man. To be honest, she was having problems remembering why the fuck she even decided to follow him in the first place.
“Do you want something, four-eyes? Or are you going to just keep staring at me like a creep?” the man asked, finally turning to face her. His voice was deep and husky, and yeah, Hange definitely needed to take a grip on herself.
So she shook her head and put a radiant, cheerful smile on her face.
“Hi!” she exclaimed, taking a step closer to the man. He didn’t make a move and just stood there, regarding Hange with furrowed eyebrows, his face set in an expression of annoyance.
Hange didn’t let it faze her. She was used to people looking at her like that, after all.
“I just wanted to tell you how talented you are! I’ve been coming to this café for a long time and-“
“I noticed.” The man told her quietly, looking away from her and taking another drag of his cigarette.
“Huh?”
“I noticed that you come here a lot.” The man repeated and his face became even more annoyed than before. “It’s very hard not to. You and your friends are very fucking loud, four-eyes.”
Hange chuckled awkwardly in reply, her hand coming to scratch her head shyly. This conversation didn’t seem to go the way she planned.
“Well, as I said, I wanted to compliment your skills. And to introduce myself.” Hange extended her hand, her eyes lightening up with amusement at the man’s obvious confusion. “I’m Hange Zoe.”
The man stared at her for a couple of seconds, bringing the cigarette to his lips and inhaling it deeply. He then put out the cigarette and flicked the butt of it to the nearest trashcan.
Hange still stood with her hand outstretched, waiting for his reply.
The man turned away from her and opened the door to the café, ready to go back inside.
“Oi!” Hange cried out, grabbing him by the shoulder. “It’s very rude to just ignore other people like that!”
“Well, I am very rude person,” the man replied, walking into the building, even though Hange’s hand was still on his shoulder. “I’m not going to tell you my name. Hange Zoe.” the man huffed arrogantly. He shook Hange’s hand off him and disappeared behind the door.
Hange stared after him, confused by what just happened. A moment later, though, a big grin appeared on her face, as she thrusted her hands inside her pockets and chuckled softly.
So he didn’t want to tell her his name, huh? Well, that just meant that Hange had to find it out some other way.  
                                                         ***    
So the next Friday Hange, armed with her new-found information, followed the man outside again.
He was once again smoking, leaning against the brick wall and staring up at the sky.
When he noticed Hange standing next to him, he sighed and rolled his eyes.                        
“Fuck off, four-eyes. I told you already I’m not going to tell you my name.”
“I don’t need you to,” Hange’s lips curved into a shit-eating grin, as she clasped her hands behind her back. “I already know it. Levi Ackermann. I also know that you are 29 years old and you’ve been working at this café for two years. Apart from playing the piano every Friday, you also work here as a janitor and sometimes as a waiter.”
The man gave her an unimpressive look, throwing away his cigarette and crossing his hands on his chest. “Have you been stalking me, four-eyes?”
Hange huffed. “As if I needed to. I just asked Erwin and he told me everything I wanted to know. And I’ve told you already, my name is Hange Zoe, stop calling me four-eyes.”
“Should I call Dr. Zoe then?”
“Huh?” Hange widened her eyes in surprise. “How did you-“
Levi gave her a flat look. “You’re not the only one who can ask Erwin about shit.”
“Aha!” Hange pointed her finger at him, smiling victoriously. “You were interested in me too!”
“Keep dreaming, four-eyes,” Levi grumbled, waving Hange’s hand away from his face. “I just asked Erwin why you are such a weirdo, and he started blubbering some stupid shit about you.”
“Oi, Levi, c’mon!” Hange whined as she followed him inside. “We should become friends! I know you want to!”
Levi turned around to face her. His eyes were narrowed, as he gave Hange his most terrifying glare. Hange didn’t even flinch. “What makes you think I want to be friends with a freak like you?”
“The fact that you still talk to me?”
Levi rolled his eyes and started walking away from Hange. “I don’t do friends.”
“Mark my words, Levi!” Hange shouted after him, waving her hands around. “I’ll make you my friend! You can’t escape from me!”
“What a weirdo,” Levi muttered, although his lips involuntarily curved into a smile.
                                                           ***    
One evening, Hange visited the café by herself. Usually she came together with her friends, but Moblit was out of town visiting his family and Nanaba was too busy with her work. And Hange, despite her typical cheerfulness and easy-goingness, preferred to be left alone for tonight. This week had been rather stressful for her, with so much work to do, and Hange felt tired to the bone.
As she sat at her favorite table, holding a cup of green tea in her hands and listening to Levi playing the piano, Hange felt her mind go numb, the peaceful atmosphere and relaxing sounds of Levi’s music soothing her. Soon she felt her eyelids grow heavy and Hange laid her head on her hands just for a second, just to let her eyes rest.
She didn’t notice how she fell into a deep slumber.
                                                           ***    
Hange woke up with a start, as she felt how someone tentatively laid a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it awkwardly, but gently.
“Oi, Hange, there is no need to cry about some asshole. I’m sure you can find yourself someone ten times better than that idiot.
Hange’s lips immediately curved into a smile as she recognized Levi’s gruff voice.
Wait, what did he said?
Hange lifted her head to stare at him.
“Levi, what are you talking about?”
“What? I was just trying to comfort you. You are obviously heartbroken over the break-up with that shitty boyfriend of yours.”
“Huh?” Hange blinked a few times to make sure she wasn’t still sleeping. Levi was surely spouting some nonsense right now. “Levi, I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Yeah, I know you don’t anymore, that’s why I brought you a cake,” he showed her the tray with another cup of tea and a plate with a piece of Hange’s favorite chocolate cake.
Hange stared at the tray, her mouth filling with saliva at the sight of such delicious food. She grabbed the plate from Levi’s hands and immediately started to stuff her face with cake.  
“Disgusting.” Levi commented, sitting at the table across from Hange and staring at her. “You eat like a wild animal, Hange.”
“It’s so delicious!” Hange smiled happily at him, her mouth and cheeks already dirty with chocolate. “You should try it, too, Levi!” She outstretched the fork with cake to Levi, waiting for him to take a bite.
“I’m not going to do it.” Levi crossed his hands on his chest, scowling at Hange.
The smile on Hange’s lips grew wider as she moved the fork closer to Levi’s mouth. “C’mon, just a little bite!” She said in a sweet voice.
“No.”
“Please.”
“I said no.”
“Pretty please?” Hange made her best rendition of puppy eyes.
Levi huffed, cursed and then bended over, putting the fork in his mouth and eating the offered piece.
Hange beamed. “And?” she asked impatiently. “Did you like it?”
“It’s fine. Guess, Mike really knows how to cook.”
“By the way,” finished with her food, Hange put her chin on her hand, studying Levi intently. “How did you know that it was my favorite one?”
“How do you think? I asked that giant Mike.”
Hange’s lips curled into a sly smile. “I thought Mike’s shift ended at six? It’s half past nine already.”
Levi turned his head away from her, but Hange could swear she saw a faint blush on his cheeks. “I called him.”
“Oh my god!” Hange clasped her hands in delight. “Levi, that’s so nice of you! Thank you!”
“Don’t mention it. You just looked really shitty today, and I hated it.”
“Thank you, Levi, really, I appreciate it more than you think,”Hange said softly. To be honest, she appreciated Levi’s gesture more than she probably should, as a warm, pleasant feeling settled in her stomach. “But I still don’t understand what you meant earlier. With that whole break-up thing.”
“Huh? Weren’t you crying over something? I thought it was because that idiot dumped you.”
“What idiot?”
“The one you always come with? The guy with a constantly constipated face.”
Hange giggled at Levi’s description. “Do you mean Moblit? But, Levi, we aren’t dating. We’re just friends.”
Levi narrowed his eyes. “Then what the fuck have you been crying about?”
Hange awkwardly scratched her head. “I wasn’t crying? I just fell asleep on the table.”
Levi stared at her in disbelief. “You… you what? You were sleeping this whole time? What the fuck, Hange?”
Hange burst out laughing and the crease between Levi’s brows deepened.
“Unbelievable.” He continued. “And here I was worrying about you like some idiot, thinking you were heartbroken, and you… you just fell asleep! In the café! Which was full of people!”
“I had a pretty crazy week,” Hange tried to explain in between her laughs.
“You’re a goddamn weirdo, Hange.” Levi said in exasperation.
When her laugh had subdued, Hange smiled softly at Levi. She covered his hand with hers.
“That was very sweet of you, Levi, thank you once more.”
It took Levi a couple of seconds to register Hange’s words as he couldn’t look away from their joined hands. His heart started to beat faster and he felt his hands becoming clammy. He couldn’t decide if he liked this feeling inside of him or not, but he didn’t want Hange to move away.
But he also had a reputation, and he couldn’t just sit there, holding hands with Hange as though he was some love-struck idiot. Because he was not some love-struck idiot.
So Levi threw Hange’s hand away from him, swiftly getting to his feet.
“It’s getting late, four-eyes. Go home and get some sleep for fuck’s sake.”
“Yes, sir!” Hange mockingly saluted to him and also rose from her seat. She grabbed her bag and put on her jacket.
Before she walked out of the café, she grabbed Levi by the shoulder and leaned it to kiss him on the cheek.
“I told you we will become friends!” she exclaimed loudly, trying to be louder than her wildly beating heart.
This whole exchange with Levi was confusing her. Hange thought she was just a nuisance to Levi, but tonight he showed that he actually cared about her.
As a friend, Hange had to remind herself, he cared about her only as a friend. Or maybe, he just pitied her.
Whatever the case, Levi didn’t like her, especially in the way Hange liked him. He was tolerating her, and Hange shouldn’t even hope for something more.
So Hange waved at Levi one last time and then headed home, trying to get Levi’s impossibly beautiful eyes out of her mind.
                                                           ***    
One time, Hange came to the café too early and found Levi in the process of setting up the piano.
She came to stand next to him, leaning over the instrument and watching how Levi’s fingers delicately pressed the keys.
“You know, my mother always wanted to make some kind of artist out of me,” Hange began with a wistful smile. “She tried to teach me the piano and guitar, made me join the singing and dancing classes. And I was terrible at all of them.”
Levi raised his head to look at her. “And why am I not surprised?”
“Oi, that was rude!” Hange laughed, smacking his arm.
“Levi?” Hange called as a new idea appeared in her head. “Will you teach me how to play the piano?”
“You just told me you were terrible at it.”
“Maybe, I just didn’t have a good teacher.” Hange replied, smirking.
Levi silently studied her face for a long moment. Then he cursed and moved over to make a place for Hange at the bench.
“Come here.”
“Yay!” Hange happily exclaimed, as she sat next to Levi. “What do I do?” she asked, her fingers hovering above the keys.
Levi slapped her hands away. “For now you do nothing, and just watch what I’m doing. We’ll get to practice some other time.”
Hange sighed, a pout appearing on her face, but she complied. She pressed closer to Levi and laid her head on his shoulder. He tensed for a second, but then relaxed and resumed his check-up of the instrument.
Hange watched his every movement, a small smile painting her features. This warm feeling in her chest, the same one she got every time Levi was next to her, returned.
Hange thought, fleetingly, that she wanted this moment to last forever.
And that’s when she felt a hand on her shoulder.
Hange jumped and whirled around to see whose hand it was.
Behind her stood Erwin, his hands on both Hange and Levi’s shoulders. There was a warm and a little apologetic smile on his lips.
“Is everything ready for tonight, Levi?”
Hange abruptly stood up.
“I… I need to go!” she said a bit too loudly. “Levi, Erwin, goodbye! Have a nice evening!” Hange waved at them and then hurried towards the exit, her mind reeling from what had just happened.
Just moments ago, she was pressed so closely to Levi, her head lying on his shoulder and it was… it was a rather intimate position, and Hange couldn’t understand why Levi didn’t push her away. Surely, he wanted to, right?
Hange furiously shook her head, trying to clear her mind. Levi was such a nice guy! Such kind and caring friend, and Hange was ruining their friendship with her stupid, improper feelings.
Hange had to stop being so greedy and appreciate what she already had with Levi. She had to start treasuring their tentative friendship and stop hoping for something more and imagining something that definitely wasn’t there.
                                                           ***    
Hange decided to put some distance between them, so the next time she came to the café, she just waved at Levi in greeting and then focused on her conversation with Moblit. It was hard for her to restrain herself from stealing small glances at Levi, but she always made sure to watch him while he wasn’t looking.
Moblit kept looking weirdly at her the whole time, noticing her strange behavior, but thankfully, because he was a really good friend, he said nothing about it.
In the following weeks, Hange continued in the same manner. She spoke to Levi only when he was the one to initiate the conversation and she stopped herself every time she wanted to touch him.
One time, as he was passing her the cup of coffee, their fingers accidentally brushed and Hange pulled her hand away so swiftly, the cup fell to the ground.
Levi cursed at her for making a mess. He hid his face from Hange, beginning to clean the floor, but as she accidentally made an eye contact with him, Hange saw something weird in his gaze. Levi’s eyes had a hurtful look in them, but Hange just shook her head, convincing herself that she just imagined it.
                                                             ***    
Two and a half weeks later, Levi was fed up with her bullshit.
Hange was chatting with Nanaba, when Levi came to her and grabbed her by the shirt, yanking her up and starting to drag her away.
“Levi! What-- what the fuck?”
“Shut up, four-eyes.” Levi growled, not even looking at her.
He pushed her out of the café and into the alleyway. Then he stood in front of her. His hands were crossed on his chest as he regarded her with cold eyes.
“Spill it out, Hange.”
“Huh? Spill what out?”
“What the fuck I did wrong.”
“Wh-- Levi, you did nothing wrong!”
“Then why the fuck are you ignoring me?”
Hange opened her mouth to reply, but Levi immediately cut her off. “Don’t try to deny it, Hange! You’ve been ignoring me for weeks now!”
He took a step towards her, and Hange tried to take a step away from him, but her back had hit the wall.
So Hange just stood there, hopelessly staring in Levi’s angry eyes.
“I thought I annoyed you.” Hange finally replied in an uncharacteristically small voice. She lowered her head in shame, unable to meet Levi’s gaze. There was something in his eyes, something that Hange couldn’t understand.
“Are you a goddamn idiot?” Levi asked after a few seconds. Despite the harshness of his words, his voice was soft. “Don’t you think I would make it very much clear if I didn’t like your company?”
“You like my company?” Hange widened her eyes in shock. She lifted her head to stare at Levi.
“Of course, I do, stupid.”
“And you consider me a friend?”
Levi sighed, but didn’t look away from Hange. “Unfortunately.”
Against her will, Hange’s lips curved into a big, happy smile. “And did you miss me all this time?”
Levi huffed, rolling his eyes. “I wouldn’t go that far, but,” he stopped and stared right at Hange, letting her see the rare softness in his eyes. “It was quite boring without your stupid face and shitty jokes.”
And Hange couldn’t restrain herself anymore, she launched herself at Levi, pressing him tightly to her chest.
She promised herself she would treat Levi as a friend. And friends frequently hugged each other, right?
As she wrapped her hands around Levi’s neck, Hange suddenly felt his hands on her back as he pressed her even closer to him.
“Don’t do such stupid shit again, Hange,” he whispered in her shoulder. “I thought you got sick of me or something.”
“I never get sick of my friends. And you are my friend, Levi.” Hange giggled.
“Good,” Levi’s voice was quiet, but fierce. It sent a million of shivers down Hange’s spine. “Because you’re mine friend as well.”
Hange hurried to untangle herself from Levi. The more they stood so close to each other, the harder it became to stop herself from doing something stupid. Like kissing Levi, or telling him what exactly she felt for him.
“I probably need to go back to Nanaba,” Hange scratched her neck. “She probably thinks you dragged me out there to kill me, or something.”
“Oh, yeah, sorry about that, I guess. But it was your fault too, you’re the one who kept running away from me every time I wanted to talk to you.”
“Well, we are both a pair of idiots, then.” Hange chuckled. “I’ll see you around?”
“Yeah, I’ll see you around, Hange.”
                                                           ***    
“Oi, four-eyes,” Hange jumped at the sound of Levi’s voice. She was too lost in her thoughts to notice his approach. “We are closing soon, why aren’t you going home?”
Hange checked her watch and was surprised to find out that it was almost ten pm. “Oh my!” Hange exclaimed, grabbing her bag. “I completely forgot about the time!”
She got to her feet, but before she could take any step further, Levi grabbed her by the hand.
“Wait,” he narrowed his eyes and looked more closely at her. “Where is your umbrella?”
“My umbrella?” Hange awkwardly chuckled. “I don’t have any.”
“Are you out of your goddamn mind?” Levi almost growled. “Look at the weather!” he pointed to the window with his chin.
Hange looked out of the window. There was quite a storm outside. Huh, she seemed to miss that as well.
“I’ll be fine, Levi,” she tried to wave him off. “It’s just a rain.”
Levi rolled his eyes. “Just a rain my ass.” He sighed deeply. “I’ll be finished in a couple of minutes. Wait for me, and I’ll walk you home.”
“Levi, that’s unnecessary!” Hange protested. “I don’t live that far from here, and nothing is going to happen to me.”
“And what if you get sick?” Levi pressed. Hange’s heart melted at the sight of his angry, yet worried gaze. “I’m walking you home, Hange, and I’m not taking no for an answer.”
Hange sighed, giving up. Despite what everyone thought about her, she knew when to choose her battles. And that was not the fight she had a chance of winning.
“You worry too much.” She muttered.
“Someone has to.”
                                                             ***                                   
After Levi finished with his cleaning and closed the café, they started to slowly make their way towards Hange’s apartment.
The wind was blowing heavily, and the raindrops were cold and sharp. Hange and Levi had to press close to each other to fit under one umbrella.
Since Hange was taller than Levi, she held the umbrella above both of them, making sure to protect Levi from the rain as much as possible. However, when Levi noticed that Hange was keeping the umbrella more above him than herself, he growled and snatched it out of her hands.
“You’re a goddamn idiot.” He mumbled as he proceeded to shield both of them from the rain.
Hange felt as a smile made its way on her lips once again. The wind was howling around them and the rain seemed to become even heavier than before, but Levi’s presence kept her warmer than she felt in days.
                                                         ***    
“And we’re here,” Hange announced as they reached her apartment.
Levi nodded, looking up at her.
Hange knew that now she had to thank Levi for his concern and then say goodbye to him, maybe wish him a goodnight. She had to turn around and enter her apartment. But. Something inside of her didn’t allow her to do it.
So before she could stop herself, Hange asked.
“Would you like to come upstairs? I could make you some coffee.”
“I hate coffee,” Levi answered and Hange lowered her head, taking his words as an obvious refusal.
Hange hurriedly turned away, trying to hide her disappointed expression. But Levi’s hand on her forearm stopped her.
“But I would love to have a cup of tea.”
Immediately Hange’s lips curved into a big, happy smile. “Sure!” she exclaimed, grabbing Levi by the hand and dragging him into her apartment.
                                                           ***    
Holding mugs with hot beverage, Hange and Levi sat side by side at the sofa in Hange’s living room.
Levi seemed to look around the room, while Hange desperately tried to think of something to say to fill the awkward silence.
Usually, she was good at talking, more than good, as people were frequently annoyed with her inability to shut up. But now, when she needed it so much, Hange couldn’t think of a single thing to say.
Her mind was still trying to come up with some topic of conversation, when Levi suddenly got to his feet, putting his mug on a coffee table.
“I… I’m sorry, Hange,” he breathed out. “I just can’t do this.”
Hange’s heart skipped a beat, as her lips slid downwards. She was such an idiot. Why did she even expect something different? Of course, Levi would hate spending time with her, it was probably too awkward for him, and Hange shouldn’t have even thought about asking him to come over.
She glanced at him, her mouth already forming an apology, but Hange stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed the look on Levi’s face. It was full of disgust and repulsion.
With the same look on his face, he picked one of the dozen papers that were scattered on Hange’s coffee table.
“What is this shit?” he asked, carefully holding the coffee stained paper with two fingers and showing it to Hange. “This is fucking… this is such a fucking mess, four-eyes. What the fuck?” he questioned, looking around the room.
He took a few steps, reaching a pile of Hange’s dirty laundry that she had been meaning to do for weeks now.
“What is this?” Levi continued in the same disgusted voice. He kicked the pile of clothes, as though it personally offended him. “How can you live surrounded by such trash? This is not an apartment, that’s a fucking garbage can.”
And Hange couldn’t hold it anymore, she burst out laughing. She bended over, continuing to laugh. Tears gathered in the corner of her eyes and her stomach started to hurt, but she couldn’t stop.
Here she was, thinking Levi wanted to leave, because he didn’t enjoy her company, while the man was just perplexed by state of Hange’s apartment.
“Oh my god, Levi,” Hange croaked after her laugh had subdued. “You’re something else. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a clean-freak as you.”
Hange made a mistake of raising her head and looking at Levi. His displeased and annoyed face sent her into another fit of giggles.
“This isn’t funny, Hange. There is so much dirt and dust around, it’s not healthy for you to live like this. And you should be aware of that, you’re a biology professor!”
“Oi, you’re obviously exaggerating, Levi. Maybe, my apartment is a bit unkempt, but it’s not nearly as bad as you say.”
“You’re right, it’s way worse.” Levi took off his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. “I can’t let you live like this, surrounded by such garbage.”
“Huh?” Hange cocked her head to the side, studying Levi curiously. “Just what are you trying to say by that, Levi?”
“I’m trying to say, four-eyes, that I’m going to clean your shit of an apartment.”
“Levi, no, no, no!” Hange walked up to him, waving her hands around. “You can’t do this!”
“Of course, I can, I have to. I won’t be able to fall asleep, knowing that my friend lives in such dirt.”
Hange involuntary smiled at Levi’s words. The way Levi casually called her a friend made her heart swell with fondness.
“Levi, c’mon,” Hange still tried to argue. “You’ve done enough for me already, you don’t have to clean my apartment as well.”
“Who told you I was going to do it alone?” Levi raised his eyebrow. “Your messy ass will help me. Go and fetch me a broom and a mop.”
Hange sighed, rubbing her forehead. “Is there any way I can stop you?”
“Don’t be an idiot, Hange.” Levi replied, not even looking at her as he already started to sort out her clothes.
Hange cursed quietly, as she walked out of the room to go look for the items Levi asked to retrieve. It’s going to be a very long night…
                                                         ***    
When Levi deemed their cleaning finally finished, Hange was ready to collapse. Which she did, sprawling onto her sofa.
Levi sat next to her. He didn’t look tired at all - on the contrary, there was a seemingly pleased expression on his face.
Hange had never seen Levi look so happy.
“Jesus, you’re definitely a clean-freak,” Hange sighed, turning her head to look at him.
Levi shrugged, unfazed by Hange’s insult. “You should thank me, four-eyes. Now your apartment looks like a place, where lives a human being, and not some sort of wild animal.”
“Whatever.” Hange replied, too tired to continue arguing.
Her hand reached over to her mug, and Hange was devastated to find out that their tea had long since grown cold.
“Oh, I should probably make another tea for us,” she said, closing her eyes. She would lie here just for a moment, and then she would get up and head to the kitchen.
A moment later, though, Hange was already asleep.
                                                          ***    
Hange woke up with a groan. The sun was shining too brightly, and Hange moved to shield her eyes.
She tried to raise her hand, but she couldn’t, something holding it tightly in one place.
Hange’s brows furrowed in confusion, as she tried to understand what was going on.
Firstly, the curtains in her room always protected her from the morning light, so how come she was woken up by a bright sunshine? Hange slowly opened her eyes and saw that she wasn’t lying in her bed.
She suddenly remembered last night’s events. She probably fell asleep on her sofa, too exhausted to move to her bed. But if she was sleeping on the sofa, then where was Levi? Did he go home?
Hange turned her head and immediately found an answer to her question. Levi was sitting on the sofa, his eyes closed. His hand was wrapped tightly around Hange’s shoulder as her head lied on his knees.
Hange felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment. For the first time in her life, she didn’t know what to do.
Obviously, she needed to get up, but she didn’t want to wake Levi up. She wasn’t sure if she could look him in the eyes after he realizes that they fell asleep on each other.
But then Hange looked up at the clock on the wall, and all embarrassing thoughts left her mind. It was almost nine o’clock and that meant she was late for work!
Hange shot up to her feet, put on her glasses and ran to the wardrobe, searching for a change of clothes.
Her sudden movements raised Levi from his slumber. He rubbed his eyes, staring at Hange in confusion.
“Hange?” he asked, his voice husky from the sleep.
Hange closed her eyes, trying not to think about Levi’s obviously gorgeous voice.
“Hi!” she awkwardly waved at him, glancing at him briefly. Hange furiously shifted through her clothes, trying to restrain herself from turning around to look at Levi again. His morning bedhead was so adorable!
“I’m sorry, I would have offered you a breakfast, but I’m really late for work!” Hange explained hurriedly.
“It’s fine. My shift at the café starts soon as well. Can I use your shower, though?”
“Of course!” Hange smiled at him, grabbing her clothes and then hurrying to her bedroom to change.
                                                        ***    
They exited Hange’s apartment and then walked together until they reached the café. There their paths diverged, and after briefly hugging Levi, Hange rushed to her work.
Levi stood on a street, watching Hange until her lanky figure disappeared from his view. He sighed and then opened the door, entering the café.
And the first thing he saw inside was Mike’s grinning face.
“Well?” he asked smugly, crossing the hands on his broad chest and looking down at Levi. “Should I congratulate you?”
Levi stared at him, obviously confused. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“About you and Hange finally getting your shit together and admitting your feelings for each other!”
Levi felt a blush appearing on his cheeks. He pushed Mike away, walking further into café.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He muttered under his nose.
“There is no need to be ashamed!” Mike laughed. “And there is no need to deny it,” he continued, following after Levi. “You walked in here in the yesterday’s clothes and,” Mike leaned in, sniffing Levi. “You smell like Hange.”
Levi narrowed his eyes, looking at Mike in disgust. “Are you a fucking dog?”
Levi’s words made Mike laugh again. “She just has a very distinctive smell. Had it since childhood. Besides, I’ve seen you two through the window, you can’t deny it. So,” Mike clasped his giant hand on Levi’s shoulder. “Tell me how it went.”
Before Levi could open his mouth to tell Mike to fuck off, Erwin walked in. His eyebrows were raised high, as he gave Levi an impressive look.
“I wasn’t expecting you two to confess so quickly,” he admitted, shaking his head.
“I told you Hange wouldn’t dance around for too long,” Mike argued. “It was Hange, who made the first move, right?” he asked Levi.
For a long moment, Levi stared at them in disbelief. He expected something like that from Mike, but Erwin? Going behind his back to gossip about his personal life? And his relationship with Hange?!
Honestly, Levi didn’t know what was going on between him and Hange. When he woke up today, with his hands wrapped around Hange, he felt strangely relaxed. He didn’t feel awkward or embarrassed. Waking up next to Hange felt almost natural, as though it’s how the things were meant to be.
Sleeping next to Hange felt good, and Levi couldn’t remember the last time he slept so soundly.
Levi knew what he felt for Hange, no matter how much he tried to deny it at first. He knew that he liked her more than just a friend, but he had no idea how Hange felt about him. Was he just a friend for her or something more?
But Levi always stopped himself there, there was no way Hange could actually see him as something more, she was funny and smart, she could find someone ten times better than Levi. Someone whose mind didn’t freeze every time they talked about feelings, someone who could use their words to express how much they admire and treasure Hange, and how much better their life became, when she decided to enter it.
Just thinking about this, Levi’s head began to hurt. Feelings and all this romantic shit was such a pain in the ass! And now Erwin and Mike were bothering him about it!
“Nothing happened,” Levi gritted between his teeth, glaring at the two blondes. “I walked her home, because she forgot her umbrella, and then she invited me for a cup of tea. Her apartment was a fucking mess, so I started cleaning it. We got tired and then fell asleep. End of the story.” He said with warning in his voice, staring at Mike and daring him to say something.
“Well, that does sound like the truth,” Erwin chuckled. “So our bet is still on, Mike.”
Levi widened his eyes, as he stared up at Erwin, not believing he had actually heard everything correctly. Erwin and Mike made a bet? About him and Hange? What a couple of fucking assholes.
“You are fucking morons.” Levi muttered darkly, prompting Mike and Erwin to start laughing.
Levi rolled his eyes, paying them no mind, and went to the closet to grab his cleaning supplies. At least someone in this shithole had to start working, and not just stand around, gossiping like a pair of schoolgirls.
                                                         ***    
“No, Hange, that’s not how you do it,” Levi sighed, slapping Hange’s hand away for the tenth time today.
He agreed to give her another piano lesson, and was beginning to regret it. Hange’s сhildhood teachers were right, she was terrible at music. But still, Levi patiently continued to show her the same few notes again and again.
“You press the keys too hard, you need to do it gently,” Levi told her.
Looking at Hange’s confused face, Levi rose from his seat and came to stand behind Hange. He put his hands on top of hers.
“You press them like that,” he whispered into Hange’s ear, gently guiding her hands.
“Alright,” Hange nodded and Levi had probably imagined the slight shivering in her voice. “Yeah, I think I got it.”
“Okay,” Levi agreed, moving away from Hange. He briefly squeezed her shoulder, before sitting next to her on the bench.
Hange put her hands on the piano, repeating the short melody Levi tried to teach her.
Levi’s eyes widened, when she recreated it almost perfectly, her fingers moving confidently across the keyboard.
“That was… good,” Levi said in the same disbelieving voice. “It was really good, Hange.”
“You actually think so?” Hange asked, her lips already curving into a smile.
Levi nodded, a small smile appearing on his lips as well.
“Yay!” Hange threw her hands in the air. “I’m finally managed to do it right!”
Then Hange wrapped her hands around Levi’s neck, pressing him close to her. “That’s all thanks to you, Levi!” Hange exclaimed in a really loud voice. Levi would have moved away from her and reprimanded her for being so nosy, but being so close to Hange, inhaling her faint scent and feeling her warmth, was… good. Levi didn’t wish for her to move away.
A couple of moments later, though, Hange pulled away from him. She didn’t move too far, still keeping her hands around his neck, as she gazed softly at him.
Levi felt himself slowly drowning in the depth of her beautiful brown eyes.
“You are an excellent teacher, Levi,” Hange whispered.
She was so close, Levi could count all of her eyelashes. He suddenly noticed faint freckles on her cheeks, and a slight smile tugged on Levi’s lips as he looked closely at them.
When Levi looked up, returning his gaze to Hange’s eyes, he found out that she was actually looking on his lips.
Did she… Did she want to kiss him? Could it be that she was feeling the same as him?
Hange kept staring at his lips, and Levi leaned in slightly, silently giving Hange the permission to kiss him.
Levi closed his eyes, his heart beating wildly in his chest, as he waited for Hange to finally connect her lips with his.
However, a second later Hange untangled herself completely from him. Levi opened his eyes, staring at her in confusion.
In the meanwhile, Hange swiftly got to her feet and was already turning away from Levi.
“I… I need to go home!” she exclaimed, sounding cheerful, but Levi heard the nervousness in her voice. “I suddenly remembered I… I left the stove on! Yes! So, yeah, see you later, Levi!”
Hange almost ran out of the café, while Levi sat still, staring at her retreating form.
He broke out of his daze, when he heard the sound of the door closing after Hange.
Shooting up from his seat, Levi ran after her.
He caught up with her a minute later, and grabbing her wrist, Levi dragged into the alleyway behind the café.
“What the fuck, Hange?” Levi asked furiously. “Why do you keep running away from me?”
Levi was sure, he was sure Hange felt something for him. Why else she would be staring at his lips so intently, if she had no desire to kiss them?
“I’m not running away!” Hange protested, taking a few steps away from Levi. “I… just really need to go home.”
“Do I look like an idiot who would believe this bullshit?” Levi growled. “Just tell me the truth, goddamn it! If I’m making you uncomfortable, just say so!”
“You’re not making me uncomfortable,” Hange fiercely denied. “You’re making me way too comfortable, and that’s what scares me.” Her voice became quiet, almost a whisper, and Hange lowered her head, not able to look at Levi’s face, which was so unusually full of emotions.
“Hange…” Levi made a small, tentative step towards her. He wanted to take another one, wanted to reach Hange and hold her in his arms, but he didn’t want to scare her. “Back at the café… What did you want to do? Just tell me, Hange.”
Hange shook her head. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because if I do, then it will ruin everything. It will ruin our friendship and you’ll start to hate me.”
“Nonsense.” Levi’s fierce voice made Hange raise her head to look at him. He was staring right at her, his grey eyes burning with intensity. “There is nothing, nothing, you can do that would make me hate you. And I promise you, I swear to you, Hange,” he took another step towards her, finally coming close enough to grab her hand. He raised it to his lips, pressing a quick kiss to her knuckles. “That I would never stop considering you my friend.”
Hange gazed at him, completely speechless. Her hand burned, where Levi’s lips touch it. Hange wanted to feel those lips on hers, she wanted it so badly, more than anything in this world.
And looking in Levi’s eyes, his beautiful grey eyes that gazed so softly at her right now, Hange couldn’t lie to him. So she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, preparing for her next words.
“I wanted to kiss you.”
Hange didn’t dare to open her eyes, to look at Levi’s obviously disgusted and disappointed face.
But suddenly Hange felt Levi’s hands on her cheeks. She tentatively opened her eyes and met Levi’s gentle gaze.
“You wanted to kiss me?” he asked slowly.
Hange nodded, not trusting her voice right now.
“Do you… do you still want to kiss me?”
Hange’s eyes widened as she heard a slight nervousness in Levi’s voice.
She again nodded in agreement, and Levi took a deep breath.
“Alright,” he said more to himself than to her. “So if I were to kiss you right now, would that be okay?”
“More than okay.” Hange finally found her voice, her heart beginning to beat faster.
“Oh, okay. Then,” Levi looked at her face critically. “I’m going to kiss you. Right now. Is that still okay?”
Hange quietly chuckled, amused by Levi’s anxiety. “You don’t have to do it, if you don’t want to.” she told him with a smile.
“No, I want to,” Levi stubbornly replied. “I wanted to do it for a very long time.”
Hange was shocked to hear this. Did Levi really feel the same way as her? All this time?
“Are you serious?” she asked.
“No, all of it had been a part of my very elaborate prank,” Levi rolled his eyes. “You know how much I like pranking people, four-eyes.”
Hange gave him a light shove, giggling. “You’re such an asshole, Levi!”
“Yes, I am,” Levi told her seriously. “I’m a rude asshole, who is incapable of talking about his feelings, and hides his true emotions behind insults.”
“Mm, and you’re also a horrible clean-freak.” Hange added.
“Yeah, you still want to kiss me?”
“Well, that depends. Do you want to kiss a messy, loud and slightly crazy scientist in stupid glasses?”
“Very much so.”
“Alright then,” Hange leaned in, her lips hovering inches away from Levi’s. “Still haven’t changed your mind?”
“Goddamn it, Hange,” Levi growled, grabbing her by the back of her head and crushing their lips in a passionate kiss.
Hange moved her hands to Levi’s shoulders, bringing him even closer to her.
They continued to kiss until they were out of breath. When they broke apart, Hange grinned at Levi, staring at his slightly flushed face and red lips.
“That wasn’t such a bad kiss,” Hange commented, leaning in for another one.
“That was a very good kiss!” Hange and Levi suddenly heard a very familiar voice.
They turned around and saw Mike and Erwin. They wore identical smug grins, as they stared at Hange and Levi with amused eyes.
“I didn’t know you were such a good kisser, Levi!” Mike shouted, chuckling at the furious expression on Levi’s face. “Hange, did you enjoy it? Was it better than that time when I kissed you on a bet when we were kids?”
Ignoring Levi’s curious (and slightly disgusted) stare, Hange laughed. “Literally any kiss is better than that one, Mike!” she replied, grinning at her friend.
“Were you two really watching us this whole time?” Levi grumbled.
“We had a bet!” Mike argued. “We needed to find out who was the winner.”
“Oh?” Hange looked up. “And who was?”
“Are you serious, Hange?” Levi hissed. “Those two were spying on us like a pair of fucking creeps.”
“That’s because they are a pair of fucking creeps,” Hange shrugged. “And I want to know who the winner was.”
“Well, Hange was technically the one, who confessed first,” Mike began.
“But Levi was the one who kissed her,” Erwin protested. “And if it wasn’t for Levi running after Hange, they would be continuing this pining nonsense for another couple of month.”
“Fine, you’re right.” Mike shook his head, looking at Hange. “You’ve disappointed me. I thought you would be the one to make the first move, and not our angry shorty.”
“Jesus Christ!” Levi shouted. “Can you two morons just leave us alone already?”
“Alright, alright, we’re leaving,” Erwin said, chuckling. Mike obviously wanted to add something else, but Erwin grabbed him by the hand, leading him away.
Levi released a sigh when the door closed behind them.
“Fucking assholes.” He muttered under his breath.
“Oi, don’t be such a grump,” Hange teased him, softly ruffling his hair.  
“Whatever,” Levi grumbled.
In the next second, he wrapped his hands around Hange’s waist looking up at her with a smirk.
“I think we should continue where we left off. Would you like to?”
“I would love to.” Hange replied, leaning in and pressing her lips to his.
As Levi kissed Hange, he thought that he would probably never get tired of doing this. He tangled his hand in her soft hair and felt her smile against his lips, and his mouth curved into his a smile of his own.
124 notes · View notes
between-the-crosses · 4 years
Text
tgb / nwl: final chapter cut scenes
YOOOOOOOO these were some scenes I blitzed out that ended up not making the final cut.  The first two scenes of the chapter were also part of these blips, and would have been third and fourth of these, but we ended up cutting these ones because they didn’t quite fit the pacing we were going for.
Oh well.  We will post them here, instead!
June 1st - 8th, 1918 -- Goinges, France - Étréchy, France
The day is hot and bright.  Joseph squints in the light, feeling sluggish.  Not just from the alcohol last night, either.  It's a shame Tom can't drink really, anymore, he could probably use it as much as them . . .
"Where's Tom?" Joseph asks abruptly, as the thought occurs to him.  Where is his brother?
He looks at Will.  Will blinks at him; his gaze turns distant.  Then he winces and shakes his head sharply, breathing in harshly through his nose.  "I don't know," he grates out.  "I haven't seen him since -- I don't know." 
"What?" Joe demands.  Why doesn't Will know?? He's practically Tom's keeper, at this point --
"I don't know," Will repeats, looking at him.  He seems dazed -- like he wants to be panicking, but he can't spark the energy to do it.
"Can't you feel him anywhere?"  Agitated, Joseph tries it himself, stretching out with that additional sense --
-- every single thought in his head is drowned in a swirl of names.  Screams echo in his ears, begging, pleading, weeping -- the noise is cacophonous -- who is he again?  He's not [insert string of names] --
-- it is disrupted.  Joseph pants harshly, hands over his ears -- he feels something cool trickling over his fingers and watches as drops of water splat into the dirt beneath his feet.
There is a hand on the back of his neck.  It grounds him.  Joseph slowly straightens from the hunch he's curled into and looks up. 
Will is now holding his shoulder.  He stands over Joseph, canteen held upside down over Joseph's head.  He and Richards both look alarmed.
"Don't do that," Will says, voice tight with some suppressed emotion.  "Don't -- we're carrying too many.  Don't."
~ * ~
Tom doesn't need to walk anymore.  Technically, all he needs to do is float -- somehow, still not sure how -- but, well, he doesn't need to take steps nor drag his feet in weariness.  He does both now, though, because it's easier to do what he's spent a lifetime becoming accustomed to doing rather than expend what's left of his mental fortitude.  It has been a long, long journey, from the hill Pickering died on to a cemetery surrounded by Bosche to wherever Will and Tom's brother were sent.
But they're close now.  Tom can feel it.  Also, the troops he's surrounded by are speaking the King's.  It appears Will and Joe back on the line, in reserve with their little Company, part of one of the Composite Battalions Army Command has put together from the remnants of the 8th Division.  
It only takes him a few minutes more.  It's easy to tell where they are -- he just has to look for the largest concentration of ghosts.  Tom finds his brother and Will, huddled together next to Richards in a fairly fortified dugout.
Joseph holds a sheet of paper that looks as though it was previously folded -- a letter? -- and frowns intently at it, fiercely focused.  Will and Richards are half-heartedly playing some sort of card game, using a crate for a table.  At a glance, Tom can't tell who is winning; Will doesn't seem to be doing more than randomly putting down cards while Richards gently corrects him.  
Richards can't see him, of course, but Will spots him, and such an intense look of relief spreads across his face that Tom feels guilty having been absent so long.  
"Thank God," Will says, heedless of the other men around them.  He sets down his cards and reaches for Tom.  "Where've you been?"
Tom darts a look around, but no one besides Richards seems to have noticed Will's words nor his actions -- or if they have, they don't care.  He steps forward quickly and into the embrace that Will so obviously needs.
"Are you alright?" Tom asks instead.  Will feels -- cold.  Tom can see the presences layered over him, sure, but -- they shouldn't have a physical effect on Will, surely.  He looks at Joseph, similarly coated -- what's going on?
"No," Will answers, voice muffled by Tom's tunic.
Joseph hasn't moved.  He is still concentrating on the letter.  Tom has never seen him so keenly focused in his life.
"Is that Corporal Blake?" Richards asks in undertone to Will.
Will detaches himself, moving as though he's underwater.  "Yes," he says.  He keeps one hand hooked in Tom's webbing as though he is afraid Tom will disappear.
"Corporal Blake," Richards says, still in undertone, "I don't suppose you can help your brother or Schofield out, could you?  They've mentioned something about carrying a lot of ghosts, but I'm afraid they're having a very hard time of it.  Can you take any of them, yourself?"
Tom's heart sinks.  He hasn't the energy to do anything like that -- not after nearly three days apart.
"No," Will says before Tom can.  "No, he's been away too long.  And if there was something close -- we would've already gone ourselves."
"Let me look around," Tom tells him, already resolving to at least give it a try.  He's never seen Will in this terrible of a state -- and if Will's this poorly off, his brother can only be in worse straits.  "I can do that much."
~ * ~
[this is where the first and second scenes of the chapter would have fit!] 
~ * ~
Their part of the line is quiet for the week.  By the second day, Joseph feels like he isn't perpetually drowning in the cold -- but not by much.
"It isn't natural for you to be sitting out in the sun like this," Benjamin complains.  "You're basking.  Like a lizard."
"Sod off," Joseph replies politely, turning his face up towards the light.  "I've finally got the chill out."
"You've got your tunic buttoned to the top and a scarf on over that, where most of our men have to be scolded into keeping their tunics on at all," Benjamin points out.  "If we hadn't lost our trench coats in our retreat, I think you'd be wrapped up in that, too.  It's bloody hot out here --"
"Are there any trench coats?" Joseph interrupts, interested despite himself.  
Benjamin stares at him, flabbergasted.  
"No," Tom says to Joe, caught between some sort of worry and amusement.  "Will's got an extra scarf if you need one, though.  What happened to your second tunic?"
10 notes · View notes
carrionkid · 4 years
Text
i will work on commissions tonight..... i am goinge to keep up my momentum and keep busy and NOT go stir crazy.
3 notes · View notes
12housescorpio · 5 years
Note
I've never had good ship with Aquas but I've only know girl Aquas. But Yay! virgo mars unite! For a month and a half I keep attracting Virgo men (sadly no women 😭) and I am here for it. Universe please keep sending Virgos (and Tauruses) my way 💕😂
Dude i always fall in love with Virgo girls especially with Leo in their chart ugh I love the outspokenness... the standing up for others.... the confidence..... the out goingness.... how funny they are.... I will marry them
4 notes · View notes
meditativeyoga · 5 years
Text
Apply Yoga + Meditation to Relationships
Tumblr media
Meditation as well as yoga exercise allow you to weather the unexpected storms in your relationships.
At his wedding, Chuck's godmother provided the new couple one little suggestions. 'Never go to sleep angry,' she cautioned them. 'Make up before the day is done.' Chuck thought this was really reasonable, it went right together with his research of Eastern ideology. Greed, hatred, and deception were the sources of suffering. Why would certainly he and also his better half want to feed the fires of such devastating forces?
Yet things had actually not exercised as he had actually pictured. Some years right into the marriage, Chuck and Rachel had battles that never seemed to get fixed, a minimum of not in the way he thought they should. Chuck still believed that they must not go to sleep mad, but consequently he would keeping up all night refining his rage while his wife slept.
In a session with me a number of days after the most up to date argument, Chuck told me just what he had been with. He and Rachel had been owning to a good friend's celebration, however the published directions were incorrect. Chuck left at the indicated exit, goinged west as he was instructed, yet could not discover the next landmark. Why wasn't it there, he asked yourself? He snapped at his other half, thinking that she wasn't reading the directions properly. Irritated with his tone, she guaranteed him that she read them simply fine, but she asked him to quit for directions.
He guaranteed her he would certainly yet then sped up past the gas terminal. They were late currently, and also he was persuaded he might find the location: It was someplace on this road. He had actually passed it the day before, he bore in mind. Careening about trying to find the sites showed in the invitation, he ultimately stopped at a neon-lit rapid food joint directly from a David Lynch flick. A group of four young people in gold chains eyed his vehicle. He headed back in the other instructions as his spouse expanded an increasing number of irate.
He asked her very steadly to please quit chewing out him, yet inside he was seething and also mad. Rachel did not find his forced calm enticing and continuouslied be irate with him. He became taken out while dreams of crashing their vehicle started to blossom in his mind. There is absolutely nothing that Chuck disliked as high as being chewed out in a car. He did not like requesting directions as well as took satisfaction in his ability to find his way, also when lost.
He really felt that Rachel did not trust him when she shed her temper like this and also routinely took it as an impact to their love.
He ultimately stopped for directions at a neighborhood motel, owned to the event, as well as spent the night waiting for her to ask forgiveness, after they found that their host's published directions had, as a matter of fact, been faulty. Chuck and also Rachel danced when, to Aretha Franklin's 'Respect.' The paradox of the lyrics was not lost on him.
My good friend Michael Eigen, a New York psychoanalyst who, unlike the majority of Freud's offspring, is not put off by the quest of the sacred, informs a story in his book Psychic Deadness (Jason Aronson, 1996) regarding a meditator called Ken that came to him for assist with his violent temper. Throughout my talk with Chuck, flashes of Ken kept breaking via. Ken's case research study is qualified 'StillnessStorminess,' with the arrowheads showing a vibrant relationship in between both states, one that both Ken and also Chuck were reluctant to accept.
The heart of the story is Ken's anger, as well as his efforts to utilize Buddhist reflection to calm it. Rage faded and peacefulness opened up within him in meditation. It was not a peace that can last. Ken still obtained mad in the midst of household life, much to his discouragement. His expectations, for himself and for his family, were as well fantastic. He required that reflection tranquil residential life, and also, disappointed whenever conflict broke up his reflective stability, he condemned himself or his household. He desired his family members to live by his values, to driven themselves around peace and also tranquility, making meditation the center of their lives, too. He was outraged by the turmoil of household life and also attracted a growing number of to the simplicity of silent sitting.
' Part of Ken's problem,' states Eigen, 'was his covert dream to regulate his household (maybe life itself) with one mood. He was not content to appreciate tranquil, after that enter the tumult of actual living. He wished to rule the last by the former. An unconscious seriousness structured his harmony. Reflection centered him, yet it concealed a dictatorial need that life not be life, his wife not be his partner, his youngster not be his child.'
The totalitarian demand that his partner not be his wife ... I spoke with Chuck regarding that. He desired an apology from Rachel, and also he can not think that she would certainly keep it. A subconscious seriousness structured his serenity. What regarding exactly what his godmother had stated? Why could Rachel never ever say she was sorry? 'Why can you not just release?' she maintained firmly insisting, in a recognizing recommendation to his years of meditation practice.
Chuck felt that he had to defend himself, however he was missing the opportunity to absolutely no in on the feeling of self that was at the origin of his suffering. Tibetan Buddhists call such times 'damaged virtue,' when you are wrongly implicated as well as you believe to on your own, 'I didn't do that!' The self that we take to be real is most visible at these times of indignation, as well as in order to have the liberating insight of egolessness, we have to first find the self as it really appears to us. Those minutes of damaged innocence are prime celebrations for this most emotional of spiritual work.
In his publication, Dr. Eigen probes Ken's relationship to temper and also his devotion to serenity. Ken was not simply attempting to quiet his own mind, he was striving to silence a disorderly early environment. 'In time he realized that he attempted to get from meditation the calm he never ever received from his moms and dads. Partially, he made use of reflection to calm his moms and dads (in subconscious fantasy), in addition to himself.'
But meditation frustrated Ken in its failing to change his life. He desired too much from it, and also he started to hate what could not be changed. Rather than utilizing meditation technique to relocate in between states of storminess as well as serenity, to let go of one as the other held, he tried to make use of reflection to dominate life. He required treatment to instruct him exactly what he may have likewise gained from yoga: the best ways to removal in between placements with recognition and versatility. Chuck was really like Ken in his relationship to rage. He had a formula for how points were intended to go. If he and also Rachel had a fight, they ought to have the ability to refine it. He would aim to confess his faults, but his spouse must have the ability to, too. If she was going to get so angry with him, she ought to a minimum of be able to say sorry. But Rachel did not such as to chat about such points. She got mad, but when it mored than it was over. She did not like all Chuck's rules.
Chuck had trouble enabling the fight to disappear on its own. He kept wanting that apology. Several evenings after their battle when going to sleep, Chuck had actually transformed his back to Rachel yet was stunned as she nestled versus him. Nearly against his will, he relocated into her soft qualities and heat. She felt good to him, and he for a moment valued her motion. A few of his anger thawed. 'As in yoga exercise, so in the emotional life,' I said. The activity between kinds is as crucial as the asanas themselves. If you are obsessing on what an asana ought to appear like, you are not really doing the asana. Understanding is more vital compared to the exterior form, and also awareness could pass via several states: anger, frustration, or happiness. Yoga exercise is accepting all the states without hanging on as well as without pushing away.
I informed Chuck a story from Jack Kornfield's brand-new publication, After the Ecstasy, the Laundry (Bantam Books) about Zen master Suzuki Roshi of the San Francisco Zen Facility. Trainees were constantly asking him how you can deal with difficult feelings like temper, although they currently knew just what he would state. 'You inform us to simply rest when we rest as well as eat when we consume, however can a Zen master simply be mad in the same method?' somebody when asked him. 'Like a thunderstorm when it passes?' Suzuki Roshi responded. 'Ahh, I want I might do that.'
Mark Epstein, M.D., is a psychiatrist in New York as well as author of Going on Being (Broadway Books, 2001). He's been a student of Buddhist meditation for 25 years.
2 notes · View notes
Text
The Fitness Effect: Why Fitness Improves Your Quality Of Life
Why Fitness Improves Your Quality Of Life
Tumblr media
We have actually all heard to reasons and reasons to miss exercise for the day and also "plan" to do it tomorrow. Several would even go as far as to say why even fret with physical fitness whatsoever. To this crowd of individuals I would heavily encourage them to keep reading to discover why physical fitness could improve your lifestyle. For the remainder people, I will with any luck disclose some useful as well as motivating information to maintain your health and fitness desire alive.
Constant exercise routine is never ever considered an easy job, yet a lot of us will certainly face this difficulty directly. Why would certainly one go via all the difficulty to see benefits weeks, perhaps even months from now? All too commonly individuals prepare for today and not the future. We reside in a globe where rate grows and also the slow stop working. Numerous could not see that physical fitness does not work in this method and also success is measured gradually over time-- not instantly. I will additionally discuss why one need to make the effort to improve their health and fitness instead of give up.
Many usual misperceptions of exercise buffs drop under the group of "self centered" or such expressions as "packed with themselves" concerned describe these people. These statements originate from people that just do not recognize why one would undergo so much trouble to brag. Someplace there is a miscommunication on the principles that back the motivation of these effort individuals and also why they seek an endlessing goal.
Much of this negativity has originated from an essential hidden motif coming from the actual individuals that spread out these harmful rumors. Often we discover these people are typically those who in fact appreciate the physical fitness minded individual from afar as well as are really daunted by them. They desire to be like them as well as usually are upset that they could not create the self technique to exercise each day, diet regimen, and also a variety of various other fully commited behaviors essential for health as well as fitness.
If you find that you are one of these annoyed individuals that "overlook" on others since you can not accomplish what others have-- it is not also late. It is never far too late to say that your physical fitness desires will certainly never ever come to life. Start your makeover today and make your long shed vision a fact. End up being an individual of self technique and also have miraculous respect for both your mind and body. Just then will you be able to recognize exactly what you have been slamming the whole time. I beg you to free your mind from this adverse pattern of thought and welcome and also fresh beginning on your own. Don't hesitate to begin this transformation today by finding out more into self motivation as well as discipline in the Motivation Guide.
Fitness followers are really the extremely contrary of exactly what one may call very shallow or vain. These individuals have high self respect and are not perspiring all the time just to boast. Do they prosper on the reality that they look good in the mirror? Yes, but this is among the couple of satisfactions one can visually regard from exercise so it is just all-natural that we as people will base our exercise enhancements on looks.
The experienced health and wellness minded private nevertheless, will certainly understand the other crucial advantages of exercise. Several of one of the most generally forgotten needs to workout that are neglected consist of: Cardiovascular health, minimizes danger of lots of associated health conditions, increased power, decreased tension, improved self-worth, boosted self-control and enhanced self self-confidence. As you could see, the appearance of fitness is just one of several benefits of exercise.
As specified above, workout involved people will see a surge in their power degrees. This will certainly cause an increased performance at the office, school, or various other everyday jobs. You generally high quality of life will be improved with this increase in state of mind and will certainly bring about a much more positive attitude. Many research studies have actually revealed that having a preliminary favorable overview could lead to high success rates in taking on brand-new tasks.
All also frequently I hear individuals making statements about how "cocky" a man is since he lugs himself with an extra strut in his stroll. To a specific extent this is true, however the term cocky brings a negative connotation to it. Self-assured is a much better method to define people who consistently enhance their browse physical fitness. These individuals will get a higher self-confidence and try points they never ever have in the past. They will be extra interactive and also spoken compared to they used to be. They might transform their entire wardrobe to match their brand-new body they have actually sculpted with training.
This to some might come off as becoming arrogant and also self indulgent. My concept on this is that the person standing before them is not the same individual there a year ago. This beginner has actually altered his/her life for the far better and also to the pal or colleague not used to this character shift could take it the wrong way. Perhaps they are really feeling left behind in regards to health and fitness degrees or perhaps they simply feel they have actually shed a friend.
It is very important to keep in mind that he or she changed their life for the much better. Possibly they were once obese or really slim, was socially uncomfortable, or awkward about their appearances. Why should you slam them from altering this? Would certainly you wish to have any one of these personality type? I am merely mentioning that we must be delighted for these individuals as well as appreciate all that they have actually achieved. Perhaps there is much we could gain from them to apply in our very own daily lives.
As a side note I will certainly explain that there is a great line in between pompousness as well as self-esteem. One will certainly end up being the really individual they matured disliking in secondary school and also the other will merely recognize their real potential for adjustment. These individuals recognize that you are as well as if you read this, aim to become self-confident, not "self-arrogant".
It is these self delighted individuals who give a poor name to all tough functioning physical fitness daydreamers who desire self boost. Daydreamers expand to flaunt our self renovation with themselves, continuously testing themselves with brand-new jobs to advertise adjustment. The rival side would only make use of fitness as a way to flaunt themselves to others, not themselves.
So I will certainly finish this discussion of exercise advantages with a few vital concerns that you can ask yourself as both self reflection and also a take away message. Do you think you genuinely realize why fitness can enhance your top quality of life? Do you intend to begin your fitness improvement if you have not done so currently, already seeing all the promising advantages to improve your way of living? If already involved in exercise, do you view on your own as self-assured or self-arrogant? If you feel your path is goinged in the positive direction than you are already past the tough part. If not it is not as well late to have an entire brand-new expectation on health and fitness and also the method you lug on your own on a daily basis. That in itself is just another action to self renovation which could lead to health and fitness success.
We have actually all heard to factors and justifications to miss exercise for the day and "plan" to do it tomorrow. Numerous would certainly even reach to say why also stress with fitness in any way. To this crowd of people I would heavily encourage them to continue reading to learn why fitness can improve your quality of life. For the rest people, I will hopefully reveal some practical and also motivating details to keep your fitness desire alive.
Constant workout regimen is never considered an easy job, yet a number of us will certainly face this difficulty directly. Why would certainly one go via all the trouble to see benefits weeks, maybe also months from currently? All frequently individuals prepare for today and not the future. We reside in a world where rate thrives and also the slow-moving fall short. Lots of can not see that health and fitness does not work in this way as well as success is gauged slowly over time-- not instantaneously. I will certainly even more discuss why one should take the time to improve their health and fitness instead of give up.
Many usual misperceptions of workout buffs drop under the classification of "self centered" or such phrases as "filled with themselves" involved describe these people. These comments come from people who simply do not understand why one would go via a lot trouble to brag. Someplace there is a miscommunication on the principles that back the inspiration of these effort individuals and why they pursue an endlessing goal.
Much of this negative thoughts has actually come from an essential hidden style originating from the actual individuals who spread these dangerous rumors. Often we find these people are frequently those that really admire the fitness minded person from afar and also are in fact intimidated by them. They yearn to be like them as well as often are upset that they could not summon the self technique to function out on a daily basis, diet plan, and a large selection of various other fully commited practices essential for wellness and also fitness.
If you find that you are just one of these annoyed individuals who "look down" on others since you could not accomplish just what others have-- it is not far too late. It is never ever also late to state that your health and fitness dreams will certainly never ever come active. Start your transformation today as well as make your lengthy shed vision a reality. Become an individual of self discipline and also have miraculous respect for both your body and mind. Only after that will certainly you have the ability to realize exactly what you have been slamming all along. I implore you to free your mind from this adverse pattern of idea as well as accept as well as fresh start on your own. Do not hesitate to begin this transformation today by reading more into self motivation as well as self-control in the Inspiration Guide.
Fitness fans are actually the very other of exactly what one may call extremely superficial or vain. These individuals have high self respect as well as are not perspiring day in and day out simply to boast. Do they grow on the reality that they look excellent in the mirror? Yes, but this is among the few complete satisfactions one can aesthetically regard from workout so it is just natural that we as people will certainly base our exercise enhancements on looks.
The well-informed health and wellness minded individual however, will certainly understand the other crucial advantages of exercise. A few of one of the most commonly overlooked needs to workout that are neglected consist of: Cardiovascular health and wellness, lowers risk of numerous relevant wellness conditions, increased power, lowered tension, improved self-esteem, boosted self-discipline as well as boosted self self-confidence. As you could see, the appearance of health and fitness is just one of many advantages of exercise.
As stated above, exercise involved individuals will certainly see a rise in their energy levels. This will certainly result in an increased performance at the workplace, school, or other daily jobs. You in general lifestyle will be improved with this boost in mood and also will certainly bring about a more favorable mindset. Many studies have shown that having an initial positive overview can lead to high success prices in carrying out brand-new tasks.
All frequently I hear individuals making statements regarding how "cocky" a guy is because he brings himself with an additional strut in his walk. To a specific degree this is true, yet the term cocky brings a negative connotation to it. Self-assured is a much better means to explain people who regularly enhance their browse fitness. These individuals will acquire a higher self-confidence as well as attempt points they never ever have before. They will be extra interactive as well as verbal than they used to be. They might alter their whole closet to match their brand-new body they have actually shaped with training.
This to some might come off as becoming egotistic and also self indulgent. My concept on this is that the person standing before them is not the same person there a year earlier. This new person has actually changed his or her life for the much better as well as to the buddy or acquaintance not utilized to this character shift could take it the upside-down. Maybe they are really feeling left behind in terms of health and fitness levels or maybe they simply feel they have shed a friend.
It is essential to keep in mind that he or she changed their life for the better. Maybe they were when overweight or really skinny, was socially uncomfortable, or self-conscious regarding their appearances. Why should you slam them from altering this? Would certainly you wish to have any one of these characteristic? I am simply specifying that we ought to be pleased for these individuals and also admire all that they have accomplished. Perhaps there is a lot we could discover from them to apply in our own daily lives.
As a side note I will certainly mention that there is a fine line between conceit and positive self-image. One will certainly end up being the really person they matured despising in high institution and the various other will merely realize their true capacity for change. These people recognize that you are and also if you are reading this, attempt to end up being self-assured, not "self-arrogant".
It is these self delighted individuals who offer a poor name to all tough functioning fitness daydreamers who aim to self improve. Daydreamers grow to flaunt our self improvement with themselves, constantly challenging themselves with new tasks to advertise modification. The opposing side would just utilize fitness as a method to flaunt themselves to others, not themselves.
So I will certainly end this discussion of exercise advantages with a couple of vital concerns that you can ask yourself as both self representation and a take away message. Do you believe you genuinely recognize why physical fitness can boost your lifestyle? Do you intend to start your health and fitness change if you haven't done so currently, currently seeing all the appealing benefits to improve your lifestyle? If currently participated in exercise, do you watch on your own as self-assured or self-arrogant? If you feel your path is goinged in the positive instructions compared to you are currently past the hard part. If not it is not far too late to have an entire brand-new expectation on health and fitness and also the way you lug yourself every day. That in itself is simply another action to self improvement which can bring about fitness success.
10 notes · View notes