#just my stupid shitty life
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it hurts. really really bad. everything hurts.
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DP x DC Prompt
…
There are no more heroes.
Well, okay. Rewind a bit.
Danny has been doing the hero thing for a while now. He’s had a big reveal; everyone has accepted him (including his parents), the GIW disbanded, the Anti-Ecto acts repealed, and generally, everything is going great. Some of the A-Listers are even training as junior ghost hunters to help give him a break from his rogues! (Being Ghost King makes things hectic sometimes, and he just needs the extra help. Sue him!)
The point is, literally nothing is wrong with Danny Phantom’s afterlife.
And then Valerie Gray, the Red Huntress, disappears in front of his eyes.
Danny is baffled! She’s just…gone! Valerie just popped out of existence, like she was never there. But no matter how hard he searches in the Ghost Zone, he can’t find her soul anywhere. His core isn't broken in grief. So she’s not dead. Which is good. So then, where is she?
Some of the others come forward with ideas on how to find her. A few ghosts volunteer to go out into the mortal realm, an area Danny had declared off-limits, to see if she was out there. Danny approves it. He rounds up some of the friendlier (i.e., discreet) ghosts and Amity Parkers and demolishes the outside travel ban.
So everyone spreads out, looking for their dear frenemy and teammate. But it becomes apparent very quickly that something is wrong with the rest of the world.
There are no more heroes.
Every single living superhero on the face of the Earth has just…vanished. Villains are running amok; the countries are in chaos! Some aliens are invading Earth, mythical deities are trying to take over, and society is crumbling to the ground. Everything is on the brink of collapse.
Well, Danny was still there. And so were his people. They were pretty spread out, so could they just…take up the mantles? He also knew where to find the souls of dead heroes in the Zone; surely they wouldn't mind coming out of retirement for a little bit, especially if they couldn't die again. Oh! And that skeleton army leftover from Pariah Dark's reign might be useful in repelling those invading forces.
Honestly, there were more than enough hands to go around! And with the heroes gone, Danny didn't mind letting everyone out for a little break, as long as they followed his rules. They wouldn't stop the search for the other heroes, but hopefully, when they found them, the heroes wouldn't mind Danny's intervention too much. :)
In other words:
Someone fucks up, and all of Earth's living heroes are either wished out of existence or are whisked away to some far-off realm where Danny hasn't checked yet. In the attempt to figure out what's going on, Danny lets the dead run amok over the Earth as they search for clues. The skeleton army repels the invading armies, the souls of dead heroes deal with the world leaders, and his rogues and other Amity Parkers set up shop in place of famous heroes, trying to get the cities under control again.
Basically, they just do their best to keep everything from imploding until the Justice League and others are back.
(And why is it that Danny hasn't disappeared? Well, whatever caused everyone to go poof! only affected living heroes. Anyone heroes that were dead in the first place, or even just half-dead, stayed behind.)
#pondhead blurbs#danny phantom#dpxdc#reveal gone right au#ghost king au#for plot reasons#it doesn't count if the hero had died and then came back to life#lots of heroes would still be around then#but this is me pushing the halfa!jason todd narrative work with me here he deserves the fun#deadman is there too#and he's just thriving honestly. it's so nice to be around his own kind even if the world is ending#maybe ellie is whooshed away too cause she never technically died but she took up danny's moniker when he was crowned#vlad is ecstatic cause danny put him in charge of several states while they looked for clues including Wisconsin#skulker is replacing superman and just has a shitty S painted on his chest and just eats kryptonite like candy the first time he meets Lex#Kitty and Johnny take over in gotham and sam is now the new wonder woman#idk man just stupid stuff like this#the press is flabbergasted cause the fucking KING OF GHOSTS just showed up and he's 14 and just looking for some friends#Danny: hey guys sorry about the zombies and fire i'm just here to find my coworker and lil sister and maybe the other heroes#Danny: in the meantime i'll just let my army into the mortal realm to defend it while we figure out what's going on pls don't yell at us :)#the press: how do we explain this to the justice league when they come back. how do we explain that earth was saved by a 14 year old boy-#also idk which heroes are technically dead but are still kicking so if you feel like someone deserves liminal status slap it on them idc#some villains are trying for world dominance and some are just trying to find their buddies. their fight buds. where'd they go? :(#joker gets bitch slapped by a skeleton two days in and waylon becomes bffs with wulf#danny uses the watchtower as a base of operations and it's the only thing he doesn't want to give up when the heroes are back#i have no plot ideas beyond this#i just want everyone to be baffled that an army of the dead showed up while they were gone and just made sure everything stayed cool#later danny realizes he was technically the ruler of the world for a bit since his people were everywhere keeping the villains in check
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You know what’s wild about being a fictive? Missing your old life even though it was shitty because it’s a shittiness you were used to. The life you’re living now is a new kind of shitty that feels unpleasant in a different way.
#maybe it’s stupid to miss the life I had#it sucked#so much#I hated it actually#I prayed every night that I wouldn’t wake up the next morning and cried when I did#I’m still doing that tbh#this is a different kind of suck though#I want my old life back#those people were shitty but they were MY shitty people#maybe I just got used to the horrible conditions I was living in#and now I miss it even though it was horrible#just because it’s familiar to me#maybe it’s the difference between the physical discomfort I felt in my old life#vs the emotional discomfort I feel now#maybe I should talk to my therapist#or go to bed#did system#plural#plurality#actually plural#actually did#plural system#system things#dissociative system#fictive#fictives#fictive culture#system culture#plural culture
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Youre kidding me. Porter is a multiclass teacher and he wont let one of his students multiclass your fucking kidding me he called gorgug a c+ student while hes taking freshman-junior artificer classes i hate his guts so much my fucking goodness maybe gorgug wouldnt be a c+ student if he wasnt taking on a 400% workload you bitch i hate himmmmmm
#fantasy high spoilers#d20 spoilers#d20 fantasy high#d20 fhjy#fantasy high junior year#how is it that ppl are hating on the rat grinders for things mostly out of their control and being like. petty highschoolers#and not this grown ass adult that is actively getting in the way of his students academic success#like wow this is a teen girl with unresolved mental issues and in a shitty system#and then a teacher who actively insults his student compares him to his close friend and just makes life worse for him#and yet the teen girl is the issue i see how it is#like yeah im on ep 7 so technically i havent gotten that far yet. but im aware enough#to know the hate surrounding kipperlilly and the rat grinders is fucking stupid and mostly has no nuance#yes im saying this in my tags bc tbh i dont freak weirdos telling me how much they hate kipperlilly#like jeezus LMAO#anyway i dont like porter any more in fact i think my disdain has only grown#fuck that guy fr
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yes i am an adult male who loves high school dramas this is because i literally never experienced normal coming of age drama like ever and am disconnected from the collective experience of having a relatable peer group forever hope that helps
#i JUST want to experience high school#without like. my whole shitty life thing having gone on#i want to go to high school and have stupid drama and sexuality crises and worries about grades#not... That#i never had that im never going to have that#can i get (one) permission to go a little crazy if i survive into a university#fuck everyone befriend and be-enemy everyone get all up in peoples stupid mind numbingly low stakes drama#i want that sweet golden experience where the worst thing ill ever fear is annoying my classmates#or accidentally spilling something on someone at a dance#i deserve it i deserve to have had a childhood and a young adulthood and a life#i deserve to have dealt with unserious issues to prepare me for bigger ones#rather than serious danger that leaves me permanently severed from normal people and life#and makes me incapable of reacting proportionally or finding it in me to care about less serious problems#like yes it sucks your mom is going to miss college graduation#but i thank my lucky stars that you are not dying or being abused or starved or beaten or exploited#i literally dont know how to take things seriously a lot of the time like im not able to even if i try#because to me the mildest real problem is someone purposefully isolating you and ruining your health#the MILDEST#i try to care ab simple stuff i really do i just CANT#and it sucks so much trying to be a good friend and kind feeling like i cant do enough#the loud thought 'i wish that hapoened to me/i wish i worried about that/i wish the people i love only had that as a problem'#i get so envious. like thank fucking god your parents divorced like normal adults when it should be over#thank fucking god that 'friend' cut you off when they were actively insulting you and betraying your trust#thank the fucking universe that shitty partner dumped you before you fkn hurt yourself over them#yk?#and its a 'mean/cold' way to think about it but i just dont have the capacity to think or feel the little picture#i can imagine my friends subjected to such horror even tho i dont want to
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there's ALSO hilarity potential in the princess luz AU w amity being like "okay. so he's your cousin on a technicality but like barely acts like your cousin and is basically your brother but you don't call him your brother and you guys are a lot weirder and clingier than i've ever been with my siblings but you're also definitely not lovers so what..... what DO you call him" and luz being like "he's just hunter :) he's my special little guy :)" while hunter, who's been listening to and watching this entire exchange bc he's around luz All The Fucking Time, is like [inb4 amity can say it herself] "i'm her pet dog. woof."
#sorry. my rodansey is showing. theyre even closer to rodansey in this AU than in the canon and it Gets Me Every Time#truly neither luz nor hunter beating the 'you two are fucking weird' allegations#my favorite relationships are always the queerplatonic pairs that are equal parts wholesome and DISASTROUS#like you guys arent just a sexless romanceless romance. theres something so much more deeply bizarre and wrong with you#that's what i want. all the time. amity's gonna get stuck with both these idiots for life#she's gonna love them both So Much. and theyre both SO STUPID.#ideal. so good. can you tell i'm in some pain. i gotta take a migraine med. think about these three#toh#shitty idiot repression gang#lumity#and who is that other witch#horrible mindscape trauma pals#princess luz au#hunter: i'm her silly rabbit. amity: is that what she calls you. hunter: no#luz mostly just refers to him as her best friend if pressed. but hes her right hand arm man. et cetera
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I wish the denmark joke has stayed dead. it is literally the most unfunny asexual joke we got.
#text#it was only funny at it's first conception of “there is the same percentage of ace people as there are people in denmark”#because in general hearing that of itself IS funny#but once it turned into “let's invade” and shit it became very much less funny#idk i don't find the idea of “Asexual army” or invading a real life country to be that funny?#like this joke died for a reason and now ppl brought up back and it's just....it's never been THAT funny guys#ik some ppl have brought up the problematic idea it tends to represent and like idk im not super well versed on that argument#but even then if it's true that there is no problematic element it is still not as funny as people think it is#it's kinda annoying#yes this is because someone turned my actual funny aromantic post into a shitty half-baked aces invade denmark post#they got blocked because they also had haz/bin hotel icon and i was feeling extra mean#anyways denmark jokes are stupid and probably the sure fire way for me to just dislike you and block u at this rate#signed an ace who has been here too long and is sick and tired of this shit
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🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
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being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED
#which is dumb bc i have been formally diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses i dont think they can just take it back right?????#this is so stupid and cliche but what if i have been faking it........ all along........ Argh.#when i was in res i was put on adderall (bc the house psych just kind of experimented w meds LMFAO) and i had to go off them after like#two weeks bc it was affecting my appetite in a way i couldnt afford at the time lmao. but i do genuinely feel like it helped during that#time.... which is why i want to go on it again!!!! but im scared theyll just be like nah and i wont be able to take any of my meds anymore#is that crazy. am i being crazy rn. idk i truly do think most of my experiences w school and like. life could be explained by adhd and#when i was a kid they thought i had it but the two meds they tried didnt work for me so they just. kind of gave up#and i was really extremely unable to do school and graduated hs w an insanely low gpa and then dropped out of community college. LMAO. not#that people w adhd cant be good in school i just couldnt make myself do homework and couldnt listen in class bc i was too busy focusing on#listening. if that makes sense#IDK. idk. i know it's become like. a trend to have adhd is the issue and everything is being attributed to having it so im worried that ive#like. accidentally fallen in w that? even though ive thought i had it for forever and everyone has been like girl do you have this. IDK!!!!#idk. idkkkk im just like. genuinely scared. it's not the end of the world if im not diagnosed obviously but that means that#im just like this for no reason at all. and there's no way of helping it bc it's just the way i am. and i actually am just shitty n lazy.#epic. which incidentally is the proper name for how fucking long these tags are my bad. if you read this far sorry for being insane 👍
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god FUCKING damn it i accidentally closed my game without saving i'm going to fucking kill myself
#for some reason after i healed at the pokemon center i just shut off the game#i don't fucking know#i was planning on healing and saving and then quitting#because i'm TIRED and i have so much shit to do before bed!!!#and i have to wake up early tomorrow for my awful fucking job!!!#and my brain just skipped a step and it was the only important one god DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!#it was like a whole hour i caught two pokémon that i actually needed and was grinding up my stupid ass shitty sableye#sableye is fucking awful by the way it can't handle any sort of a hit#but it doesn't learn mean look until fucking SIXTY?????#that entire time i was grinding i only got two levels#i'm so fucking miserable i hate my life
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tu parles???? français???
un peu!! j'ai dans le classe de français à l'ecole pour deux ans, et je regarde baghera et etoiles pour pratiquer l'écoute. je ne pas super a parle français, je suis boucoup mieux à l'écoute LMAO. mais! j'essaie mon meilleur.
#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#we have mail :]#im trying for the qsmp language day ^_^#i can speak a decent amount of french !! and understand a ton more hearing and reading wise than i do speaking wise#same with spanish i also understand that hearing wise but. :( cannot speak that at all#outside of numbers i do know a ton of numbers#anyway thank you for standing my very very shitty broken french <3#[Guy who's fighting for his life voice] jai fucking stupid et cannot parlé enough français#<- take that message i sent to jay while drafting this as a treat LMAO <3
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ahh i feel yucky
#just mad about life again <3#mad that my doctors told me not to go to college yet#and now that i probably could if this medicine works#i dont see the point anymore#what i wanted to do wouldnt get me anywhere#i just found that out without even trying it for myself#like i guess its good cause i dont have loans lol!#but i wish i wouldve had one shot to try it out#like. im a kid im supposed to find stuff out the hard way right??#yeah i got the easy way out financially and time wise but. i didnt even get to try i didnt even get to see what it couldve been like#and im mad i spent all of my youth with my shitty stupid ex that just had to rape and abuse me like it didnt even matter#im mad that he gets to ruin any future relationship i have even though he isnt around anymore#it isnt fair none of its fair#im gonna be 21 next month and all i know is not even getting the chance to fail and not even knowing what love is supposed to look like#what do i have to show for any of it?#i look at people i grew up around and theyre all finding their ways and doing things we talked about when we were kids#ive always felt like im just watching everyone grow up like a tv. im just sitting infront of it and theyre all going#and i thought maybe that wouldve changed by now i thought maybe id catch up#maybe i was naive or stupid to think it would change because it hasnt#im scared that im just gonna be one of those people that just doesnt really ever do anything#and it wasnt even up to me! i had such big dreams and then i had to have some stupid pains#and some stupid doctor had to tell me to hold off for a year#and its like the drain was pulled in a bathtub and everything just started to go down#whatever#im done ill be fine#tbd
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#alastor#hazbin hotel#i have indeed made many a shitty decision#and it's funny because when i started making doing all this crap i honestly didn't know that this was not gonna help me in any way#just make my life harder and worse#but now i KNOW that the shit is really really fucking stupid and i just. don't care.#because i only get to live this one time so why not just. idk. make stupid life choices. might as well.
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Sometimes I remember that my sanity is actually dependant on a few fictional characters from 200 years ago, like not a silly haha joke but that I genuinely don’t have any other support system or healthy coping mechanism other than reading about and engaging in fan content for these fictional Victorians, and then I am like “uh oh. Goodness me. I may be in a bit of a sticky situation. A pickle, if you will.”
Anyway ahahahah something something humorous tumblr post as a coping mechanism ahaha something something
#am I genuinely mildly scared? mayhaps but I will not be admitting that properly#on a more genuine note though I have been feeling very unstable and very panic induced recently#the depressive issues just get considerably worse by the knowledge that I genuinely don’t have anyone in real life to help me#if things get even slightly worse than they’ve already shown they can get#I don’t get on with my parents very well despite the whole#‘haha my family member said this thing about gothic literature’#is there much point to posting this? probably not#but between severe nightmares very often as well as slowly physically deteriorating more and more#and my general mental health getting progressively worse and worse#there isn’t much ELSE I can do and making a shitty tumblr post about it won’t make it any worse#and if nothing else if I end up doing something stupid at least people know what it’s a product of#I am scared to be honest#depressive episodes and dysphoria I can deal with but there’s nothing I hate more than geniune instability#if anyone genuinely has any advice or MINDS talking I would really appreciate it#it’s not like it can do any more harm#and like I said I don’t exactly have any good friends or family members#or teachers or anyone else#I’ll stop with the hashtags now sorry#just throwing my thoughts into the void#gothic lit#classic literature#gothic literature#classic lit#frankenstein#dracula
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posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh
#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself#but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep#and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either#i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in#fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst#i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago#but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it#this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed#i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me#i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time#this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake#gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t#like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it!#i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life#when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so#i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have#but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip#and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude#though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i#it’s been gnawing at me#ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in#one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes#watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep#so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom#idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting#they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao#so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most#i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry#also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn#it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes
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why does writing have to be so difficult
#sitting here still working on my tma au 😔#sorry for keeping yall waiting I just write at the speed of a snail#they should invent a writing where you can write all of your ideas in like a week max#it has been a month. and I’m like maybe halfway through#13 year old me was able to write this in like 2 days while depressed on shitty x reader fics why does it take me so long now 😭#fuck this stupid baka life#Sam’s ramblings
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