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kira-fluff · 3 years

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Hi!can you do o. What would the RFA react if they know about Mc's dark past?(like family problems and being alone with no friends and getting cheated)

MC with a Dark Past

Sure! I’ve updated by rules list since you’ve requested so if I did not include one of your favorites please DM me and I’d be happy to include it! :) I chose Jumin, Saeyoung, Saeran as they are frequently requested and this ended up being kinda long!

TW: Abusive family/relationships, bullying, mentions of weight, eating disorders, cheating (not on MM characters part)

Jumin

this man is judgemental

when it comes to everyone else

but when it comes to you

he’d never, EVER judge you for anything

when you’d at last gained enough courage to open up about your family’s history of abuse

it felt so shameful

tears left marks down your cheeks as your face grew scarlet

trying to shield your tears from him only made you cry more

you could still remember the commanding voice of your father

the fear instilled in you

that made you flinch at the swing of an arm

or cower when another’s voice is raised

you couldn’t stand the thought of ever hurting Jumin in that way

but part of you feared

what if it was in your blood?

what if a part of your father still lingered in you?

were you capable of what he did?

while these thoughts engulfed your mind, warm arms wrapped around your shaking shoulders

snaking down to your waist as well-toned muscles embraced you tightly

his faint musky cologne drifted toward your nostrils

providing you with a sense of peace and security

your labored breathing began to slow

eventually dying down to gentle ins and outs

he’d whisper, “it’s alright, darling”

“i’ve got you”

“no one will hurt you now”

a part of him has to hold back the boiling anger in his stomach

that anyone, ever

would lay a finger on you in that way

but he knew that you were also so, so strong

fiercely independent

and always growing

so while he knew he wanted to protect you

and trust me, he will

he also knew that the real battle

you’ve already won

Saeyoung

you felt bad talking about your problems

especially knowing how deeply he struggled with his own

but he’d been adamant

“Y/n, you need to talk to me about this. Please.”

his golden eyes lay beneath furrowed brows, slightly raised in the center in concern

there was something in them you couldn’t quite place

you knew he’d never like you back because, well..

no one ever has

so when it had been eating away at you

confess, confess, confess to him!

you’d tried your best to shake your selfish thoughts out of your mind

looking back, it wasn’t hard to see where it all began

your mother

she was your worst critic

not that you had any friends at school to name of

“I didn’t raise you to be so fat”

“let’s go on a diet together”

by the time you were 10, you were enrolled in after school sports activities as well as rigorous academic tutoring

her screaming still rang in your ears

“YOU WERE THE WORST MISTAKE I EVER MADE”

your only ally – Papa – left you

he left you alone with that woman

who was supposed to be your mother

she never hit you

but her words felt like knives through your heart

you were so useless, you’ve known that since you were 4

“If you don’t place this piano recital well, don’t expect there to be much dinner for you tonight. you’ve practically gorged yourself already.”

you’d accidentally played a natural instead of a sharp

beads of sweat gathered as you began to panic, more of your sweaty fingers slipping of keys

just as your mother promised, you went to bed with an empty stomach

by the time you were 14 you were falling in and out of eating disorders, eventually resulting in a hospitalization

it was the first time you’d ever seen your mother smile

“you’ve finally lost a bit of weight. keep it up.”

your sunken cheeks and fatigue resulted in a long hospital stay

ultimately requiring liquid fluids

your mother tried to tamper with them until a nurse called a social worker

noticing your tired expression

an expression a 14 year old girl should never make

lifeless, giving up

at last, you were swept from your mother’s strings on you and placed into a psychiatric ward before being released for foster care

foster care wasn’t always great

but your luck at least brought you an adoption at age 16 by a single woman named Kim Ji-woo

you wondered how you ever were lucky enough to have her

Saeyoung held back for a while before at last interrupting you

“Y/n –”

nothing else came out

besides languishing tears before enveloping you in a tight hug

hiding his sniffles in the crook of your neck

he couldn’t manage to say just how much he knew

just how much he knew what it was like

but for now

he just wanted to hold you as close as possible

Saeran

“Y/n, you can tell me whenever you’re ready. I don’t want to push you.”

you never felt ready

so you dropped the subject

he willingly complied

but his gazed remained on you for quite a while

he knew the face of suffering, silent suffering, you carried

he wished he could heal it all away.

he waited patiently to tell him

it didn’t actually happen until one night you’d gotten drunk

he’d carried you home, you on his back

when he’d carried you into his apartment you were already crying, the sentimental drunk you were

“I’m such an idiot~~~”

feeling bad for you, he’d grabbed a cup of water and gently stroked your head

“he was a mistake”

saeran’s eyes grew wide, a twinge of hurt as he feared you were talking about him

“he.. he took my virginity.. and i let him. and- and- and –” you sniffled, heaving, “he cheated on me!”

Saeran looked at your eyes filled with such anguish

he’d never felt such a strong urge to wrap you in a tight hug

but respecting you, and fearing he’d be consider “taking advantage of your drunken state”

he opted to lightly stroking your head

whispering sweet words of affirmation

he’d sat down set to you

the next morning you both arose from the lumpy couch with sore backs

you realized you’d fallen asleep

and awoke to your shoulder asleep, Saeran’s light breathing tickling your ear

you’d brushed the hair out of his eyes, kissing his forehead

though you were hung over, you quietly whispered your thanks

Saeran sighed deeply in his sleep

he’d worry about you all over again once he realized you had gotten up and were no longer next to him

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maystea · 2 years

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Ten Characters I Fell in Love With in 2021

Thank you for tagging @sashkitty!! ^^

2021... oh. A long and hard year but fortunately it was good for high-quality dramas.

1. Kim Ga-On (The Devil Judge)

I love him with all my heart. Like, he’s that one person for me who is a living definition of “it’s gonna be fine.” He’s a complex character and honestly — I do enjoy discovering new things about him and about himself, not the Kim Ga-On who is living to satisfy Professor’s and Soo-Hyun’s expectations but the real Kim Ga-On underneath that shell.

2. Kang Yo-Han (The Devil Judge)

That one person who made me rethink the whole thing named “justice” and the one who made me believe that everybody can be loved sincerely and wholeheartedly; the character who deserves an essay of one hundred if not more pages about his personality and his way of thinking with the ability to find an exit even from situations that seem to have no positive option.

3. Oh Jin-Joo (The Devil Judge)

The. Queen. She has my heart and my soul, she’s not afraid to say out loud her opinion and stand on her beliefs. She’s ready to fix her mistakes and she hears others; she may be just for a picture at the beginning but at the end, she’s a judge on the bench just like Yo-Han, who takes an important place in the trials as well.

4. Seo Jung-In (Times)

Oh well. It was a drama I don’t remember properly since we had to make a lot of breaks while watching it, but what I do definitely remember is her character. A reporter who gets a chance to save her dad with a phone that connects to the past? Yes, it’s her. She’s smart and she’s hardworking, she thinks at the moment and knows how to handle critical situations right. She’s going for what she wants and gets it.

5. Yoon Sae-Bom (Happiness)

The one who knows how to protect herself in both physical way and using her words? The one who isn't shy to not ask but declare her deserved honors? The one who may seem tough and emotionless but is actually kind to who are around her. I do have huge respect for her and the way she acts in critical situations where everybody around her is in panic but not her. She protects those who are dear to her and it’s beautiful.

6. Yoon Ji-Woo/Oh Hye-Jin (My Name)

Oh... Han So-Hee made this character shine for me. The way how she feels real when she plays the role and how she shows an abandoned by the whole world little wolf but slowly but surely grows into someone who goes for her revenge and doesn't stop; she’s the one who shuts men’s mouths who think that just because she’s a girl, she can't fight nor do her duties properly but then she fights and gets even more than them, and they’re surprised and stunned and shocked.

7. Choi Mu-Jin (My Name)

He is... there are pretty many reasons why I love him but the biggest one is he’s a human. For the first time ever in my life, I felt sorry for a bad guy who doesn't do good things. He’s the polar opposite of “good” but... somehow you feel empathetic to him. You worry about him, you cherish him, and (SPOILER!!) even though he’s the villain of the story, you still can't bring yourself to hate him. Because you understand him and his motives. Because you emphasize with him. Because you see a human being with his own pain and in his own hell.

8. Jung Seo-Hyung (Mine)

Just... her. I mean- she has ambitions and she knows her goals in her life; she has every step planned and even in the crazy family (with whom you don't need any enemies) she manages to have everything under her control. She is... I could write an essay about why she is ✨The Queen✨ of the world we’re just living in but it’d be too long haha.

9. Seo Hi-Soo (Mine)

Another strong and independent woman that stays strong even when everything precious to her turns out to be a lie. I love her so much for her inner strength and the way she handles things: with self-consciousness and thinking at first, and only then making a move. The scene at the nursery with her dress on the hanger? Or the ending of one of the last episodes with her smiling and the detective just leaving? No words, just: oh. my. God.

10. Yoo Jae-Yi (Beyond Evil)

She’s a supportive character but it doesn't stop me from having a special place for her in my heart. How much this girl suffered and had in her life at such a young age and still stayed strong even when everyone was doing nothing but talking about her behind her back; how she threw eggs on Ju-Won’s car because of him being suspicious of her and going overboard. I love her, I love her and she takes my breath every time I see her.

Honorable mentions

• Lawyer Ko (The Devil Judge)

• Kang Elijah (The Devil Judge)

• Kang Ja-Kyung (Mine)

• Han Ju-Won (Beyond Evil)

• Lee Dong-Shik (Beyond Evil)

• Jung Soo-Hyun (Move to Heaven)

• Park Ian (Move to Heaven)

• Cho Sang-Gu (Move to Heaven)

• Han Geu-Ru (Move to Heaven)

• Jung Yi-Hyun (Happiness)

• Ahn Gi-Seok (Vincenzo)

• Han Seo-Jun (the last episodes of True Beauty)

• Lee Jin-Woo (Times)

Tagging: @xxcaribbean @b612sunsets @icedespressoo @technitango @highflyerwings (sorry if you’ve already been tagged ^^)

#fav characters of 2021

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jalebi-weds-bluetooth · 3 years

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Arnav, Khushi: Choti Si Duniya

#3 Old Habits

On most days Arnav and Khushi were happily married, with ample amount of laughter, space, sex, healthy banter, mild arguments, partnership and friendship filling their days.

On some days they just took the breath away from the other by simply existing, thrumming in the evergreen Rabba Ve. And on other days they were quiet, with one of their past demons returning to haunt them while the other supported the best they could.

And on the rarest days their arguments would take an ugly turn. It wasn’t a difference of thought, but rather crossing an invisible line of trust. Old habits, which despite maturity and therapy, flared up.

Unfortunately, Arnav crossed it far more than Khushi did.

“You’re forgetting she’s my sister Khushi Kumari Gupta! How could you not tell me she’s dating my manager.”

“She is also my sister Arnav, and Di told me not to tell you-”

“I don’t fucking care-”

“-that’s exactly why she told me not to tell you. And Aman ji is a good man for Di.”

“I don’t care, you still don't know Aman.”

“I’ve known him for six years! And for your kind information, I am a good judge of character Arnav-”

“-no you're not. If you were a good judge then things would've been different.”

“What do you mean by that.”

“Forget it.”

“Don’t forget that with this judgement I chose to marry you.”

“Oh really? With this judgement you brought fucking Shyam back to the house. I told you it was a big mistake but no - you thought he had changed.”

Khushi stormed into their bedroom, packing her clothes for a week. How dare he accuse her for not understanding Shyam! Yes, she had made a colossal mistake regarding him, but bringing it up after five years?

Just because he couldn't handle Di having a boyfriend?

Khushi breathed hard, fought her tears and zipped up her suitcase.

“Khushi, I’m sorry.” Arnav panted, having run up the stairs. His panic grew at the suitcase.

“Then why did you bring that up.”

“I was angry, I didn’t... you know how I am regarding Di.”

“I do Arnav, but that does not excuse you bringing up that up. I would've never brought him to the house if I knew he killed Di’s child.”

“Of course, I know that. It’s just... I shouldn't know about Aman and Di after they’ve started dating.”

Khushi sighed. She understood his overprotectiveness, especially after the Shyam fiasco they were all at edge towards Anjali. Frankly if it had not been for Aman, Khushi would’ve confided in Arnav.

“I get it, but I’m leaving for Bua ji’s for a week... if I didn’t know you, I would've never forgiven you for what you said.”

“Khushi you know I didn’t mean it.”

“And you know that anything related to that man is... has never been my fault.”

“I know Khushi but don’t go.” He held her hand.

“Arnav, I’m not in the state to forgive you for what you said. I want to calm down, take a little break and talk to you about this. So first, go and talk to your sister and please let me go.”

Arnav’s temper ticked. He hated Khushi leaving home. Leaving him.

“Running away from things don’t fix anything.”

“I’m not running away Arnav, I need space.”

“I said I’m sorry.” He yelled.

“And that is not enough!” She matched his pitch, grabbed her suitcase and headed for the door. Except he shut the door on her face and pulled her away.

“You can’t leave,” He warned. Khushi snatched her hand away from his.

“Or else?” She challenged.

“You know what I’m capable of,” His mouth hardened into its cruel, familiar straight line. And Khushi’s heart broke, again.

“Every single fucking time,” Khushi swore and threw her bag to the floor, angry tears rolled down her cheeks. Arnav faltered, his grip on the door loosening.

“Khushi main-” Khushi stopped him and stepped away.

“Enough Arnav. Main kya? You didn’t mean what you said? Didn’t mean to hold my hand hard enough to hurt? Didn’t mean to bring up the past? Didn’t mean to break my heart?” Khushi folded her arms, analyzing his face.

“But it still hurts. And you do nothing to fix it. I wonder, where does this come from?”

“I don’t want you to leave me.” He said.

“I didn’t leave you when things were worse, when you couldn't stand being in the same room as me-” And despite the years, the memories filled Arnav with guilt and Khushi with pain. He looked away, unable to meet her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” His voice had lost its strength, “I wish I could change-”

“Hume uss baat se koi farak nahi padta. I have never asked you for an explanation or your regret. I’ve left these behind. But you haven't. Your habits haven't.” Khushi wiped her tears, struggling to keep her composure.

“You know, let’s talk about this. Because I’ve heard all of this before and we never really addressed how you broke my heart. And the fact that you can say all this despite all the therapy we've been to...”

Arnav sank into the green chaise, head in his hands. Khushi, always having the bigger heart, kneeled by him and grabbed his face. He was crying. Her heart truly broke.

“Talk to me Arnav. Why do you say these things? It’s been so long, and trust me when you shut the door and grab me I still get scared, it still breaks my heart despite everything. It will never be okay-”

Arnav held her hand, whispering his sorries to her.

“And what do you mean by ‘my sister’. Don’t you know how long it took me to make this family my own. Arnav, my world changed overnight. You know this. Tumhara, mera... you make me feel like this is not mine. That this house, this-”

“No Khushi, everything is yours. Yeh ghar, Di, main-” He choked.

“Then why do you work so hard to push me away? I know you're concerned for Di, even I was first worried when I learned she liked Aman ji. But she's happy with him.” Khushi said.

“I can’t... Di was happy with Shyam. I can't see her go through pain again, when I know that I could've prevented it.” Arnav confessed.

“Arnav, things would've hurt irrespective of everything we did. Or maybe because of it. The problem was not that we couldn't protect her, it’s that we took away her choice. Our decision to tell her the truth depended on it our convenience to lie about him.” Arnav agreed.

“And Aman ji is different. You know him for twelve years and if he turns out terrible despite that, then we’ll support Di the best we can and murder him.” Khushi cracked a smile and Arnav chuckled.

“I’m sorry Khushi,” He said, wiping her tear away.

“You should be. I mean, yes, I should've known better about trusting a man who didn't hesitate to kidnap you-” Arnav tsked at her.

“You were barely in your twenties. I shouldn't have brought that up.” He huffed.

“But you did.” She smiled sadly. Arnav stopped himself from saying 'I didn't mean to'. If he didn't, he shouldn't have. So he attempted at pouring his heart, saying things he meant.

He often resorted to pulling people’s mistakes when they made a decision without his input to prove they can't always make the right choice.

“Because I believe I’m the only one who can take the right decisions for everyone...” Arnav scoffed at the irony of his sentence. There were times when he had succeeded but despite his best efforts he did hurt Khushi where it hurt most.

"I always think it’s right to use any means to stop you from leaving me, especially after a fight. Cause I think I’ll fix everything later, as long as you're in front of me.” He confessed.

“Except it fixes nothing. It just... Arnav I feel like I have to cut a part of myself to be with you after such things because I love you, I love you so much that I can’t bear to not love you. Aur aise harkatein ke baad... it gets difficult to love you.” Khushi began to cry.

“It kills me to not be able to love you.” Arnav kissed her forehead, holding her tight in his arms. Her sobs racked against his chest, breaking his heart to two.

“Khushi please don’t... how can I fix this? I feel like any sorry isn't enough.”

“Let’s talk. Like this, always.” Khushi sniffled. Arnav nodded, pressing another kiss to the top of her head.

“And... if I want to leave,” Arnav’s grip tightened, “know that I’m always coming back. Except I just need space to process things.” Khushi broke the hug, and caressed his cheek.

“Ok, I’ll tell Mohan to drive you to Bua ji’s. I won't- can’t, you know I won't be able to leave you there.” Arnav smiled, holding her hand against his cheek.

“I’ll talk to Di about everything and we’ll work on this.” He pointed to themselves. Everything was worth a shot.

“And I will never keep anything from you.” She promised, acknowledging her own mistake.

“Ab jao, otherwise I won’t let you go.” Arnav turned away, dismissing her. Khushi pressed the most loving, forgiving kiss against his cheek and left for Bua ji’s.

---

Aman and Anjali watched Khushi leave for Bua ji’s. She had and bid everyone goodbye - Aarav choosing to stay home, afraid of the cheek pulling at Lakshminagar. But promised to FaceTime his mum at every single minute.

Arnav, had not come down to see her off. Anjali was worried sick. Aman tried to placate her.

“Aman, you have no idea the problems Chote and Khushi faced because of my first marriage. I did not... I always ruin everything. My blind faith nearly destroyed my brother’s happiness and yet again-” Aman placed his finger against Anjali’s lips, shushing her effectively.

“No Anjali. You are not responsible for ASR and Khushi bhabhi’s lives. Your faith in your husband was admirable. If the narrative was different, you would've been lauded for your trust in him. Unfortunately that wasn't the case.” Anjali didn’t agree. Aman grabbed her shoulders and pulled her close.

“Anjali, look at me. Take deep breaths. Ab, listen. Yes, you affect ASR’s life - why wouldn't you, he's your brother, your support, your heart. But whatever happens in his life is a result of his actions. Same applies for Khushi bhabhi. Yes, they might have fought regarding us, but not because of it.”

“But Aman-”

“No buts, if we were to break up - because, of course, ASR affects your life too - would you hate ASR?” This time Anjali grabbed Aman’s shoulders in response to his questions.

“I would never hate my brother Aman Mathur. And no matter how much I love him, I would speak to him but not give up on you like that.” If they were not in Shantivan, Aman would’ve kissed her senseless on the spot.

“It’s taken me a lot to fall in love, and I’m not going to change that-”

“Then that resolves everything Di.” Aman and Anjali jumped apart on finding Arnav leaning against a wall, a soft smile playing on his lips. These few minutes said a lot about Aman and Anjali’s relationship that he wouldn’t have been able to have assessed without a calm mind.

“Chote.” Anjali nearly ran into her brother’s arms. Arnav hugged her tight, happy and relieved at the same time.

“It’s ok Di. First of all, as Aman said, you’re not responsible for anything. Everything will be fine between Khushi and me. And next time, you can tell your brother everything, I wouldn’t sack Aman for being your boyfriend... even if I’m tempted to.” Anjali pushed him against his shoulder and the siblings grinned.

“Thank you Chote. This means the world to me.” Aman smiled affectionately at the duo.

“There’s nothing to thank me. It is your life. But if Aman hurts you-”

“-then feel free to do anything with him.” Anjali quipped.

“Precisely. Even Khushi is on board with murder.”

“Do you both realize I am here.” Aman cleared his throat.

“Yeah, that saves me the time to separately give the shovel talk. You are truly efficient Aman.” Anjali laughed and headed towards Aman, who was more than happy to receive the threats.

He was officially welcomed to the Raizada's.

---

Madhumati and Garima had long learned what interference could cost in both, Khushi and Payal’s lives. With Shashi’s recovery they realized that if they had let both the daughters take decisions they saw fit, a lot of misunderstandings would've been avoided.

So when Khushi arrived with her bag and a call came from Payal apprising the Guptas of the situation at home, the Guptas needed no answers from Khushi nor were in a hurry to send her to Shantivan.

For this home would always remain as Khushi’s.

Madhumati didn’t prod about the untouched jalebis (although she did have a good mind to use her belan on her beloved damaad), Garima busied herself with her hour long chats with her grandson on the phone and Shashi gave Khushi the space to talk.

Time definitely allowed healing and perspective.

---

It was one of those days when Arnav was restless. Neither tending his plants nor working gave him relief. Perhaps it was because there were three more days for Khushi to come home?

He paced across every square inch of his mansion - the Prakashes and Raizada's knowing well to steer clear from Pacing Singh Raizada.

“Wassup Nannav? Missing Khushi bhabhi? You want me to send her a message? I’m heading there to grab some samosas.” NK grinned, as if he hadn't seen his cousin pining for Khushi in the past four days.

“Nothing.” Arnav gritted. He knew therapy was working. If not, NK would’ve been six feet under. And maybe Lavanya would’ve murdered him for it, but that was a small price to pay.

“Everything’s alright Chote?” Anjali stepped in, slapping NK behind his head.

“Yes Di, I ju-” Arnav stopped. The air sweetened, goosebumps broke and a sudden wind hit him. Oh, it was one of those days.

“Chote-”

“Nannav,”

Arnav ignored them and walked towards the door, nearly running by the end of it.

There was Khushi, in a red salwar kameez, house keys in hand.

They looked at each other as a strong breeze washed over them. A few strands of her hair flew and she softly smiled, before her chin wobbled and a sheen of tears betrayed her joy of coming home.

Oh, the one to cry at the drop of a hat!

Khushi ran up the few steps and nearly jumped into his arms as he engulfed her in his embrace. They remained in the intimate hug, sharing a few discreet kisses and whispered promises, oblivious to the audience.

“Di, how does Nannav always know when Khushi ji’s home?” NK asked.

“Old habits NK bhai, puraani aadatein.” Anjali smiled.

---

A/N: This was the longest CSD one shot! Here's your slice of angst but happily ever after - just let's say I was in one of those moods.

Choti Si Duniya is going to be a series of one shots of Arnav & Khushi’s life post the end of the show. These are going to be snippets inspired by certain gifs. I hope you liked it - do share your views!

#ipkknd #iss pyaar ko kya naam doon #ipkknd ff #fanfiction #arnav #khushi #choti si duniya #angst #hona hi tha

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sweetestlamb · 4 years

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Need You Now

Summary: The Vice Chairman reminds his secretary and lovely fiancee just who she belongs to. The office might not be the most appropriate place but he’s never been one to follow the rules.

Author's note: Honestly blame @truccieeboo she recommended this show and I ended up binge watching it in two days, I thought it would be cheesy and instead I fell in love and then my pervert mind came up with this. It’s my first venture outside of IOTNBO and that’s pretty huge for me. I didn’t think anything else would inspire me but this just came flowing out. It’s a bit spoilery if you haven’t watched it yet so read at your own risk I guess. Dedicated to @truccieeboo since I honestly have no idea if anyone else wants this lmao. Anyway I give you office smut!

I miss her.

That annoying thought has plagued his mind day, she'd sent him a text in the early hours of the morning informing him to go to work without her. She had spent the night at her place, packing for her move into his house, he had been adamant about them living together; the wedding was mere days away and he couldn't stand to be away from his beautiful fiancee. He'd offered to come and help her but his hungry eyes had accidentally trailed to the supple cleavage peeking through her blouse and she'd rolled her eyes and declined his selfless offer.

He was only human, a perfect one with the looks and intelligence of a God, but still just a man. Who wouldn't look at their woman like that when they were looking so delicious? She was breathtaking, those huge innocent eyes framed by wispy dark lashes, her pert pink lips and her rich coppery mane usually tied back in a flowing ponytail. Assigning a photo of her as his phone background had been a brilliant and idiotic choice simultaneously.

Currently it was idiotic. Director Sik droned on beside him, regaling his latest mishap with his ex-wife, his brain was capable of processing information like no other yet he found himself barely retaining a word his frie--acquaint--employee was saying. Instead he was entranced by her idyllic smile shining back from his phone screen. He could recall her adorable high pitched giggle when he'd told her to smile, shyly posing for him while he snapped the photo.

She was perfect. He still berated himself for the amount of time it took him to realize that, years spent repressing himself and living a lie. Years spent resenting everyone around him and suffering in silence until she helped him find the light, in some ways became his light. She was the best thing that ever happened to him, he would gladly relive that dreadful past to have her in his future.

And she's going to be mine, forever.

"I'll never let her go." The words spilled from his mouth, determination and promise coating them.

Yoo Sik looked at him in confusion, "What? What are you.... Oh! Are you giving me advice? Is that what I should say to my ex-wife? Should I go to her house and make a commotion and tell her that I'll never let her go?"

Yoo Sik suddenly stood up passionately, "You're right! I shouldn't let her go, I just need to walk right up to her and...."

He never heard the rest of that asinine sentence because she suddenly filled his vision. Clipboard in her hands as she immediately started firing off orders to the others, there was something captivating about watching her work; she'd come a long way from the meek incompetent girl he'd hired all those years ago. A strong confident woman now, his invaluable second hand and the love of his life. He happily watched her in action, then his vision blurred as she stepped from behind the large front desk and he was able to see her outfit, an outfit he'd never seen before, surely if he had he would have forbade her from wearing it outside of his house.

She wore a long sleeved soft peach chiffon button down, slightly transparent with a camisole underneath, curving around her perfectly round breasts but that wasn't what made him blood boil with possessiveness.

It was her skirt. She'd never worn a skirt that short before, it sat high on the tender meat of her thigh, miles of milky skin on display. When she turned to the side to speak to an intern, he noticed the high slits exposing more of that tempting skin.

What was she doing revealing all that skin to others? That skin belonged to his eyes exclusively.

Then he watched as the intern stared at her in a daze, before his eyes darted down to her bare legs, youthful hunger flashing in his pupil.

Slamming his fist on his table he stood up, anger emitting from his pores.

"--What? I'm just following your advic--"

"Director. Do you like your job?" He abruptly cut off his useless jabbering, finished with his one-sided conversation, he'd been benevolent enough to let Yoo Sik come in his office and whine about his pitiful life.

The director stared at him baffled, he stared back straight faced, full lips pressed into a angry line.

"....Yes?"

"Then get out. Right now." His clipped tone left no room for arguments, though he doubted anyone would ever be stupid enough to argue with him.

It would be their last argument in this world.

Director Sik jumped at his order, scrambling to collect the documents he'd brought with him as an excuse to commence their conversation.

"Say no more. Here's me leaving, liking my job."

Without another word he was up and sprinting towards the door, only his voice halted his movement, "Send in secretary Kim. Tell her it's an emergency."

**************************************************************************************

Mi-So stopped in the middle of her sentence as she watched Director Sik all but fall out of the Vice Chairman's office, looking like a spirit was following him, face ashen in fear.

That could only mean one thing, her bulldozer was in a bad mood.

She hadn't seen him all day, coming to work separately -her idea- and then she'd been in meetings all day. Her skirt ride up her thigh and she pulled it down in exasperation, she'd made the mistake of packing all her office clothes away and in the morning had to pull on whatever was on top. This particular skirt had been a gift from a friend, as they'd all teased her and giggled that she could now be a sexy secretary.

She had never worn it here, too modest to have that much skin revealed. But this morning she'd been desperate, waking up late and she couldn't be tardy after telling him that she didn't need a ride to work. So she'd put on stockings to combat the skirts length.

No one had commented, at least not verbally. But she'd felt the eyes all morning, judging eyes from other women and....not so judging eyes from some of the men. One of the managers had made the grave error of brushing against her naked skin and she'd flashed her dazzling engagement ring, reminding him whose woman he was getting handsy with, then assigned him to organize three days worth of files. He'd scampered out the room with apologies and his tail tugged between his legs.

She didn't bother to mention that those files had already been organized by her days prior. He would learn his lesson.

Her mood had soured after that interaction, so seeing the Director so shaken up leaving the Vice Chairman's office was not a pleasant sight.

Finally he spoke stuttering before finding his voice, "Secretary Kim, the Vice Chairman needs you in his office. It's an emergency."

An emergency.

She jolted at those words, turning to the intern immediately, "I'm sorry I'll have to go. You can speak to secretary Kim Ji-A for more instructions." Bowing her head to both men, she circled around them stalking to the Vice Chairman's door, pulling it pen and striding inside, closing the heavy door behind her.

A familiar sight greeted her, the Vice Chair-- her fiancee sprawled on the sofa that sat centered in the large space, long legs spread open, the jacket of his suit hanging open exposing the pristine white shirt that laid underneath. His muscles peeked through the thin material, instantly her brain provided vivid images of his naked torso, the riveting dents of his six pack. He was a beautiful man, it was impossible to deny that.

Especially when he took every opportunity to remind her.

Daily.

Bowing once more, she broke the thick silence in the room, "Vice Chairman, you asked to see me."

Moments dragged by, when she lifted in her head in question, his gaze was intense, penetrative as he stared at her his pupils hard cold dots.

"Secretary Kim. How do you think I'm feeling right now?"

His voice was void of any overt emotions, but she was a master at reading him, being one of the only people that he showed his true self to. The tight line of his jaw was the first tell and his fingers clenched tightly in his lap was another. His eyes were the last, they churned with visible frustration and... jealousy.

"You're angry."

A slight smile overrode his face, pride shining through, before it was hidden away like a cloud covering the sun.

"Correct. Now do you know why I'm angry?"

Various replies filled her mind, but none quite sticking out as a justifiable answer based on his reaction, he couldn't be this upset because she didn't sleep over or that they couldn't arrive to work together. So as they had discussed before, she simply answered honestly.

"No. I don't know why you're upset Vice Chairman. Did something happen?"

"I'm not the Vice Chairman right now, I'm not angry at secretary Kim, I'm upset at Kim Mi So, my fiancee, my woman."

A shiver crawled down her spine at his words, her body heating up at the possession in his voice, she would never admit to him- Lord knows how big his ego would grow- but she loved how jealous he got, pulling her away from other men and glaring at them when their eyes lingered too long.

Once when an overeager coffee barista had gotten too friendly; smiling a little too brightly, offering her a free treat while stuttering out a compliment that never made it past his lips as her fiancee stepped in, swiping the proffered treat and silencing him with one dark glare. He'd slammed his credit card down on the table, arm curling around her waist as he dragged her away.

She'd let him pull her away, clinging to his arm and disarming him with a sweet smile. His jealousy fading away as he smiled back at her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

It made her feel desired and oddly protected, it didn't make complete sense to her as she prided herself on independence and self-efficiency but she accepted that he made her act out of character at times. His love changing her in ways she'd never expected.

"Why is my fiancee upset then?"

He growled at the word, fiancee, as much as she was his woman he was also her man. The perfect man, not only for his looks, abilities or impeccable style but his heart, loving her like she never imagined was possible.

When he was upset, she was upset. His pain was hers as well.

Finally, he catapulted out of his seat, stalking towards her with a dark glint in his eyes. He invaded her space, backing her into the wall heat radiating and burning her up. She had to tilt her head back to meet his gaze, as he towered over her.

She gasped as she felt his finger on her knee, meandering up her thigh until he reached the end of her skirt, tugging at it, hard.

He then voiced her thought, her sudden realization.

"Why did you think it was acceptable for my fiancee to wear this to work? Just like that pretty smile is mine, this." He gripped her thigh in a tight hold, "This is mine, this is for my eyes only. Are you trying to drive me crazy?"

Arousal ran through her bloodstream as he roughly pulled her into his hard body, her breasts smashing into his muscled chest. Her lips fell open as he bent down only to scoop her into his arm, she scrambled before clutching onto his shoulders.

"What--why--what are you doing?" She panted taken back by his ardor, their engagement had tampered some of his heat and seeing it now in its full former glory was terrifying...but magnificent.

"Reminding you who you belong to."

He tightened his hold on her, hands clasped under the meat of her ass, stomping purposely across the room in wide strides, with a wide swipe knocking the documents that littered the desk before disposing her on the grandiose surface.

She glanced down at the discarded paper in concern but he grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him instead.

"Focus on me."

As if she had any choice, it was hard to focus on anything else in the room, sometimes the world when he was in her orbit.

"Yes, oppa." She declared, demurely looking up at him from under heavy lashes.

The thread of control that seemed to remain snapped at her words, he lunged at her, cupping her face and smashing into her lips. She gasped at the force and like the business man she knew him to be, he took that golden opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth.

His taste overwhelmed her senses as he devoured her, hands sliding in her hair, tugging at her, twisting and moving her to his liking.

It took all of her strength but she pushed him away softly, remembering exactly where they were and what they were doing.

Ignoring his piqued glare, she tried to talk sense into him, "We can't do this here. We're at work. You can show me who I belong to tonight." She pleaded, trying to tame the wild beast before her.

His eyes searched her face, breaths coming out in harsh puffs and for a moment she thought he would listen and back down.

But he wouldn't be her Vice Chairman if he did that, she knew that better than anyone.

"You are the only thing on my agenda today. I can't wait until tonight, I need you now."

A traitorous moan escaped her mouth at the declaration and he was back on her like a leech, sucking at the soft skin of her neck, just enough suction to leave a mark. She writhed under his ministration, heat gathering in her warm center. She couldn't help but squirm helplessly on the table feeling like prey under his gaze.

Suddenly his fingers were tugging at her shirt, rapidly unbuttoning her top and tossing it over his shoulder. His eyes dropped onto her heaving chest, locked on the flesh that spilled over the top of her tight camisole top.

His intentions were crystal clear, with a swift movement she grabbed the remote that controlled the blinds, slamming them shut. As soon as she did, he grabbed it from her grip and tossed that to the side as well.

He peeled the shirt down, eyes darkening as more of her skin was exposed, rolled down until it was wound around her waist.

"Beautiful." His voice was deep but soft as he molded his hand around the soft mounds, she knew this particular bra was one of his favorites, ice blue and lacy, thin enough that her nipples teasingly peeked through.

The first time he'd seen it, he had thrown her on his massive bed and taken her apart with his tongue and fingers.

This time was no different, he bent down to bite her nipple through the lace, mouth sweltering hot around her tight peak. Large hand, squeezing at the breast not in his mouth. Her heels knocked against his desk as she thrashed under his assault.

Her mind was racing as he wrecked her, she had been very vocal about them not slacking off at work, adamant that they shouldn't blur the lines and mix business with pleasure.

It didn't get any more blurry than what they were partaking in now. But she couldn't stop him, wanted him as much as he wanted her. For someone who had been previously inexperienced and too traumatized to even kiss her, he was quickly becoming a pro in all bedroom activities.

I, Lee Young-Joon , who is great at everything will become a sex God and blow your mind.

She'd carelessly laughed at his declaration before he set out to do exactly that and made her swallow her laugh.

He reached behind her expertly unhooking her bra, instinctively she clutched at her breasts covering them, his eyes sparkled at her coy action, teasing smirk spreading across his rosy lips, before he pushed her hands away.

"Those are mine too Mi-So-ssi."

She blushed, twisting her head away, before it snapped back as he latched onto her naked chest, ravenous as he suckled and fondled her.

Her pants and moaned permeated the room, loud even to her own ears.

He pulled off her breast with a soft pop, voice rougher now, "Those moans are mine too, give me more." Swiftly he backed away, prying her legs open, tugging her stockings down her legs in a fluid motion before pressing two fingers at her moist opening, massaging the growing wet spot in her panties. She moaned louder at the sudden sensation.

"Unbutton my shirt." He demanded, standing to his full height dwarfing her easily.

With trembling fingers she obeyed his command, slowly opening his shirt, button by button until his naked chiseled chest came into view.

"Enjoying the view?"

No hesitation she replied, "Yes. I am."

"I'll allow you to look then." He actually stepped back, hands held high as he let her take in his majesty.

She mentally chuckled but took her fill of looking, staring hungrily at his pecs before trailing down to his muscled torso, itching to do more than look.

They were in sync as she'd grown used to, he'd spent the time peering at her breasts and he closed the short distance between them, done with their staring contest.

Kissing him was always electric, sparks running through their lips like live wires, she would never get enough of it. Their mouths opened simultaneously, tongues swirling in a dizzying dance. He pulled her close, rubbing their chests together as she moaned into his mouth.

They kissed for what felt like hours, his lips devouring hers and she willingly surrendered to him, his hands rough as he explored her hot skin, rubbing at her slides before groping at her breasts in equal turns.

When he pulled back, she was light-headed, drunk on him.

"Look at my pretty Kim Mi-so. Mine."

"Yours." She echoed, quivering from his touch.

Then he begun to tug on her skirt, she shifted forward precariously on the table’s edge before explaining, "The zipper is on the back."

He nodded at her instruction, leaning over her shoulder and finding the zipper, painfully slow he pulled it down and with a deep breath he tugged it down her legs, taking her rolled shirt with it.

That left her nearly bare on his table, only her panties preserving her dignity.

The hunger that had simmered down flared up once more, viciously as he shoved her back onto the desk, her ponytail dangling over the edge. She couldn't see him but she left his hot breath grazing her inner thigh.

He spread her legs wide, her cheeks were burnt scarlet at his rough treatment.

Then her panties were moved to the side and she was exposed fully to his eyes.

He wasted no time, diving into her tight opening tongue relentless as he licked at her folds, sucking her swollen lips into his starved mouth.

Flattening his tongue he tasted her in broad strokes, drinking her juices and flicking at her clit. She shook on the table, arousal dousing her in red waves. A finger sunk into her and her back curved from the pleasure, he groaned from above clearly turned on at the delectable sight she made.

He plunged into her pussy, going deeper until his finger disappeared inside her completely, drawing back and sliding in again. As she loosened around his grip, he shoved another finger in, corkscrewing into her tight heat as his tongue continued to lap at her.

She vibrated on the desk, nonsense and incoherent words falling from her lips a jumbled mix of please, more and his name.

A third finger entered her and the stretch burned but they both knew she needed this, he was far bigger than three fingers. He had bragged many times about his impressive length that was like no other, she'd listened nodding along absently as she often did with him. But when she had first gotten a glimpse at him she saw how true his words were, even soft it had been intimidating. Long and girthy, she couldn't conceive how he would fit inside.

They practiced since their first time which had been painful to say the least, she tried to grit and bear it but he'd seen right through her. Stopping to comfort her. They'd learned that getting her extremely wet and working her open was fundamental. He took pride in this too, the foreplay and making her feel good.

A fourth finger slipped into her and she melted, her walls loose and open under his touch. With a suck to her hidden bead and a harsh thrust in her he pulled away. Dark eyes locked on her glossy ones, he openly preened at her pleasure wasted face.

"I'm very good at that, huh?"

She purred in agreement.

"Lee Young Joon what aren't you good at?"

Though he was talking to himself, her little arrogant lover, she couldn't argue with his statement. Her body felt like jelly from his attention.

He stood up again, circumventing the desk she watched in confusion until he reached his destination, his looming massive wheeled chair. He sat down grandly, legs opened wide as he gazed at her, it was hard as she was upside down.

With a strong pull he grabbed her, collecting her off from the table and plopping her into his lap.

His dress pants scratched against her wet heat and she grinded down onto him, lost in the pleasure, shyness all but forgotten. He watched her whine in his lap, hands tight on her hips, not controlling her movement simply holding on. His erection was stiff and hot under her, poking her where she needed him most.

With a grunt he reached down pulling his zipper down and freeing his cock, it slapped against her skin causing her to gasp in arousal, ashamed of how much she wanted him.

"Please." She begged, and he rubbed the head across her wet folds, teasing her with a light push in but stopping before he could penetrate her.

"Please what?" To anyone else he would look calm and collected but she knew better, the vein in his neck protruding as he fought to stay in control and tease her.

He looked at her in challenge.

She rose to the challenge.

"Please oppa, show me who I belong to."

With a wolfish grin he grabbed her panties, gripping the sides, and in a swift move of his hands, he ripped them clean off her skin the frayed material falling to the floor.

Fourth one this month but he always replaced them. So, kind.

Reaching under her thighs he lifted her up only to slam her down onto his rigid cock, groaning as she slid down his length, deeper and deeper until he completely filled her. Despite all his foreplay, she could feel him tugging at her walls and her head fell onto his sweaty broad shoulders.

Their position gave him very little leverage but he wasn't one to falter under disadvantages, instead he worked around them. He grabbed her waist, dragging her up his cock before ramming her back down. They both moaned at the sensation, he growled at her, "Ride me."

She scrambled to obey, grabbing the arm of the chair for balance and pulling her legs up to rest her weight on the seat, then she bounced on his thick length, driving it further into her, smothering her screams in his neck.

He reached up to tug her ponytail, roughly pulling her head back, glaring at her, "I told you those moans are mine. I want to hear them."

At her downward thrust he slammed up into her and a scream was ripped from her throat, ringing in the air and reverberating off the walls.

His answering smile made her heart tumble.

"Good girl. Louder." He grabbed her ass, drilling deeper into her and she couldn't stifle the shout his thrust expelled.

She rode him, hard but steady, legs shaking from exertion, he was perceptive as always and she found herself being lifted once more and turned until she was placed on the desk, her ass hiked up in the air.

Her empty hole was filled again as he slid into her, his hands forcing her to bend further until her chest was flush against the table, her ass high in the air.

She could feel everything as he plunged into her over and over, merciless as he drove his cock into her. He felt even larger from this angle and she scratched across the table, breaking apart under his onslaught.

The pleasure started to edge onto too much and she tried to move away, he grabbed her waist dragging her back onto his dick, fucking into her at a speed that made her walls ache.

"Don't run. This is mine. Mine, mine, mine!" He fucked deeper with his insistence, reaching under to rub at her clit smearing her juices over the swollen lump and she felt her orgasm approaching like a freight train. The wave of pleasure crested in a long sweep and then crushed down on her, shaking and sputtering as he shoved her over the edge.

"Ahh--ahhh Young Joon!!"

Those were her last words until her eyes rolled over and pleasure seared through her veins, her walls clamping around his thick length. He thrusted through her contractions, grunting into her ear, mine mine, mine, before following her over the precipice, raining down on her, his hot release coating her walls and leaking out the slides.

He collapsed onto her back, barely catching himself on the desk, arms bracketed over her shoulders.

Panting deeply he swiveled inside her, delighted at her tired moan but he too was sensitive and slowly he pulled himself free from her tight grip, spent cock flopping onto his leg.

Sighing he fell back into his chair as she laid boneless on the desk before he swatted at her ass, with a yelp she turned to pout at him.

"Get off the table or I won't be able to stop myself from taking you again." He warned her, staring down at her swollen and sullied opening, his own cum dripping from her.

She struggled to sit up, blushing at the promise on his face, scampering off and out of his reach, gathering her clothes off the floor. She pulled her skirt back up sans underwear, tucking her shirt back in and buttoning up, then found her shoes and stepped into them. Ignoring the uncomfortable wetness between her legs, she would have to make a trip to the bathroom.

In minutes she was semi decent again, not resembling someone who had just been defiled on a table.

Taking a deep breath to find her courage she looked up at him, still shirtless with his penis hanging from his pants, she pointedly looked back down at the floor.

"Will that be all Vice Chairman?"

"Yes Secretary Kim. You may go."

With a subservient bow, she turned on her heel heading to the door, her hand on the handle then she heard his voice again, dark and raspy, "Oh and Secretary Kim, don't wear that skirt to work again. Next time I won't be so lenient and I'll fuck you right out there in front of everyone."

She gulped at his threat, no promise. Breath hitching at the devious notion.

Swallowing hard she nodded, "Yes Vice Chairman."

Slipping through the door, she walked back to her chair, limping slightly. Body deliciously aching all over.

****************************************************************************************

Back in his office Young Joon smiled as he bent over to pick up his woman's destroyed panties, pocketing them after a deep inhale. Today was starting to be an excellent day.

#whats wrong with secretary kim #lee young joon #kim mi so #office smut #i hate problems #perverted issues #laughed at all the narcissism #funnest part to write

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bearsace · 4 years

Text

through my broken and bruised eye, it was you i beheld.

Summary: Bearsace watches Mai grow up right before his eyes. (He is, after all, the one closest to her.)

Or: a friendship through the ages, told in three parts.

Author’s Note: I’ve been wanting to get this fic published for almost a year now; I had so much fun writing it as I hope you do reading it! Please enjoy one of the most niche fics you might ever read: Ikemen Sengoku in Bearsace’s POV, a la Edward Tulane. Special thanks to @rainebowkitty for reading it over super quick! You can also find this on AO3 here.

Pairings: Nobunaga/MC, but fic centers around Bearsace/MC friendship

Genre: Friendship, family, fluff, hurt/comfort

Rating: K

Word Count: 4,000+

Read Time: 10+ minutes

part one / broken. kyoto, 2004-2017.

What is this?

When he blinked into existence, he felt soft hands beneath his arms. He could not move or speak, but he could feel, and with the hands, he felt warmth.

Who am I?

“Oh, Mai, he’s beautiful!”

“Thanks, Dad!”

Where is this place?

“You’re absolutely the cutest thing I’ve ever made in my whole life. I think I’ll call you… Bearsace.”

This warm feeling in his chest… he wished that he could put a name to it, but everything was dim, and it was uncomfortable to him not to be able to see the face belonging to the long, silky brown hair as it bent over him. The hands caressed a spot above his nose and lips kissed it.

“I still have to sew another eye on you, ‘cause the other one was the wrong size, and I promise you I will… but even though you’re not complete yet, just know that I already love you so much.”

Love . It was a foreign word, but somehow, Bearsace understood that was the name of this feeling. He could not move, yet he wished he could gaze into the face of she who loved him so much— Mai.

Love. I love you, too, Mai.

—

By the time Mai managed to sew another eye on him, he already loved her with all his stuffed heart. He could see her clearly now that he had two eyes, and she was beautiful, and he admired the way she would seat him beside her sewing machine and model gowns for him.

Mai had many ambitions. Bearsace would support them as much as one stuffed bear could. She was his best friend— his only one, to be fair, because every now and again her mother would glare at him and make some snide comment about being too old to play with toys. Bearsace would glare back.

And you’re too old to be judging your daughter like that, but you don’t see me complaining!

—

Mai became very sad very often because her job was not the best one. She would come home, take off her uncomfortable-looking shoes, and Bearsace would always feel his heart swell with bittersweetness anytime she came through the door.

He would wait patiently on the couch, where she placed him every morning, as Mai would slip silently into her room and change into a fuzzy pair of pajamas— Bearsace loved those pajamas!— then, when her hair was up into a messy pile on her head, he would swell with happiness when she finally settled onto the sofa and pulled a blanket up around her legs, taking him into her arms.

Their favorite show was My Vintage Love, a story about a girl who fell in love with a CEO. Well, it was Mai’s favorite show; Bearsace didn’t care much for it. Personally, he enjoyed The Berenstain Bears, which came on the television one day while Mai was at work, but Mai never turned it on on purpose.

It was definitely one of their worst fights.

Fortunately, it was pretty much the only thing that they fought about. Oh, and her job. Bearsace didn’t like anything that made Mai sad.

Sometimes, when she was curled up on the couch, she’d talk to him about anything and everything. Her dreams, her passions…

“Someday, Bearsace, I’m going to make clothes for women everywhere that make them feel beautiful and happy. Every single piece is going to be made with care and love...”

Like me?

“...sorta like the way I made you.”

I knew it. What will you do when you reach that high?

“I was wondering what I’d even do when I get to the top. Maybe I’ll start my own magazine, or maybe I’ll create a fashion line that emphasizes the beauty in every woman’s body, regardless of shape, size, or whatever society calls ‘imperfection.’ I loved you even before you had both your eyes; why shouldn’t every woman feel that same love?”

Yes! He cried in happiness. Yes, this is such a good dream, and I support you completely. Mai, you won’t forget me, even when you are making others as happy as you make me?

“Man, I’m hungry,” she said with a yawn, placing him on the armrest and setting him down before trudging to the kitchen. “I’m gonna go order in some takeout.”

He felt his heart pang in a little bit of disappointment. He hated it when she ignored what he said.

—

Bearsace hated Mai’s other friends. Like “love,” it took him a while to find the word for “hate,” until Mai slammed her phone into the couch, snarling,

“I absolutely hate Yuka!”

Ah, Yuka. A fine piece of work, she was. The first time he ever met her, Bearsace was on the couch as usual when Mai came home with her.

Hello! Bearsace had said, excited to make a new friend. But Yuka ignored him and tossed him to the side to make room on the couch for herself. How rude!

Not to mention, she seemed to have no idea what it meant to be a good friend, the way Bearsace did. She rolled her eyes at Mai, suggested she find something “better” to do with her time… really, how bad of a friend could one person be?

“All she ever does is beat me down on my dreams… she thinks I should go back to school for something more— more— more reasonable ?! She says I’m not talented enough to be a fashion designer? I hate that!”

It’s okay, Bearsace said, falling over into her lap. I’m here for you.

—

It was on a rainy day that Mai whooped for joy. Bearsace wished he could turn around, because currently he was seated on the couch watching My Vintage Love and he would rather be spending time with Mai.

But she came into the living room soon enough and lifted him into a hug, which made him very happy.

What’s going on, Mai?

“Oh, my dreams are so close! All I’ve gotta do is nail this job interview and then it’s no more time-wasting coffee runs for a devil boss, no more getting yelled at for even the little mistakes— no more of that for me. I’m so close!”

If a bear could dance, he would. But for now, he was content to revel in the joy that Mai felt as she danced, and danced, and danced.

—

“Fine stitching you’ve done on it,” said the interviewer.

Bearsace rolled his eyes. I’m not an “it,” he responded in a biting tone. He looked to Mai, wondering if she might share in some of the same annoyance that he did, but she held her tongue.

“I did all the stitchwork by hand,” she explained.

“Tell me, what was the reasoning behind acrylics for eyes, instead of buttons?” The interviewer poked him in the eye, and Bearsace wanted to flinch away.

Watch it, jerk. I use those to see.

Mai smiled that amused smile. “I guess I just figured it’d help him see better.”

—

When Mai got the call that she got the job, she squealed and ran into the next room to call her father. Bearsace was not jealous that she did not go to him first; after all, he knew that she would be a shoo-in, anyway.

He looked upon Mai with pride when she picked him up and squeezed him to her chest.

I knew you could do it.

“What do you say we go do something special, just you and me?”

—

“I wasn’t expecting this much rain!”

Bearsace fit rather comfortably in her purse and was also impressed by the deluge that hit them at the temple at Honno-ji, though why Mai considered that a vacation was beyond him.

But it was special. They were there together, after all.

What absolutely was not special was this downpour! Mai’s hair was dripping, and also the hiring packet in her purse was going to get soaked. Never fear, though— Bearsace flopped over inside Mai’s bag onto the hiring packet, protecting it from the rain.

Thunder rumbled overhead and Bearsace found himself fearful; he couldn’t see anything! There were voices; one was Mai’s, and it sounded afraid, and he desperately wished to protect her. The other sounded as if it belonged to a man, and Bearsace felt alarm bells ring in his head. At all costs, he had to protect Mai.

Run, Mai, run! He had barely managed to say the words when a flash of white took over his world. All he could feel was fear.

part two / bruised. azuchi, 1582.

Bearsace didn’t like the Oda forces, or whatever other clown names they chose to call themselves.

He tried, he really did.

Hello! He cried again, excited when he saw the strange man taking a nap on the burning roof. Hello! I am Bearsace. And you are?

“I am Oda Nobunaga… How would you like to rule the world at my side?”

That seems like a pretty good deal, Mai. We should take it.

“Uhh, thanks, but no thanks.”

But that’s a good choice too.

And then they were running quickly through the bushes. Wryly, Bearsace couldn’t help but point out that they would not be running if she had taken that man’s offer, but Mai, of course, ignored him again.

—

Bearsace tried very hard to make new friends. After discovering that he had traveled five-hundred years to the past, he was surprised for a moment, but only a moment. He was, after all, a talking bear.

Hello! He said to the man with the eyepatch. I am Bearsace. And then the man held a sword to Mai’s throat, and from that point, Bearsace would snap his teeth at him instead of greet him politely.

It’s nice to meet you! He said to the man who did not really smile, but wore a lot of yellow, which confused Bearsace, who associated yellow with the color of happiness. I hope we can look at each other happily. The man did not speak, except to insult Mai. Never mind. I hate you.

I look forward to being your close friend, he said to the man who was friendly and had a mole near his eye, and Bearsace soon discovered he liked him the best, because he was the only one who was friendly to Mai from the start.

The three who Bearsace did not particularly bother with were the one who reminded him of a snake, the one who lectured Mai too much, and the one who was dumb enough to take naps on the roof.

He didn’t really have time for negativity like that.

—

Fortunately, Mai was as smart and resilient as expected. With the help of a ninja— an actual ninja!— she built up a plan to return to the future after three months from now. That, unfortunately, meant that she was under the protection of these weirdos for the next three months. She was awfully lucky that Bearsace was there to defend her.

We’ll get through this, Mai. Together.

—

It was very irritating, the way that those warlords seemed to fall for her within a matter of weeks and fawn over her as if she was a doll. Mai, for her part, did not seem to be getting attached, which was good, if they were going to return to the present and finish Mai’s dream together.

Following two months in the Sengoku, his friend began to spend some time away in the evening, which was nice but also lonely. Bearsace could not sleep, but he could sit and stare at the ceiling and think. Usually he would not get bored of it, except that he could not stand guard over Mai if she was not there.

She actually seemed to grow happy, which made Bearsace happy. That was really all it took, and because it seemed to be those handsy Sengoku warlords who made her so, he gave them his grudging respect.

—

Mai cried sometimes. She always wore her heart on her sleeve, but it was the small, conflicted sobs in the middle of the night that snapped Bearsace out of his daydreaming as he kept watch over her.

Don’t cry , he said as his heart ached. Please don’t cry.

It was then that Mai reached for her purse and pulled out the hiring packet, and Bearsace’s heart broke a little bit more.

We have so many plans, don’t we? You can’t be sad for those.

She sniffled and held the papers in her hand.

Look! I kept them nice and dry for you. Surely that must mean something. All our plans, all our dreams… I will stick by you. Don’t give up yet.

Mai ignored him again. She tore the papers in half.

—

“I’m not going back.”

The only person— or bear— more surprised than Sasuke was Bearsace, himself.

What do you mean you’re not going back?! You didn’t speak to me before making this choice on your own, so that we could make it together?

“I thought you might say that. What gives?” Sasuke gave that secretive smile.

“To be honest with you, Sasuke… I’ve fallen in love with Oda Nobunaga.”

You WHAT?! The roof man?!

“Oh, is that so?”

Be quiet, Sasuke. Mai, how could you not tell me this?

“Well, to be honest with you,” Sasuke continued, “I’m not going back, either. You see, I have found some employment here that I can’t bear to leave in such a tumultuous time. You understand. But Mai, by my calculations… it seems that we may be forced to return.”

Yes! Don’t give up on our dream, Mai! Bearsace exclaimed, though he immediately wished to take it back once he saw the crushed look on Mai’s face.

“Please tell me that isn’t true, Sasuke. It took a lot of soul-searching to choose that he means more to me than any desk job.”

Look on the bright side; we’ll have the chance to be happy again, in our own time, right?

Sasuke launched into a long-winded explanation that Bearsace was far too agitated to understand, but it seemed to boil down to this:

As long as Mai and Sasuke remained in the past, time itself would remain wrathful and relentless.

—

Mai stayed in her room that night and cried. She did not meet Nobunaga, whom Bearsace now realized she snuck out every night to see. She cried until Bearsace feared her chest would cave in with sadness. He leaned against her thigh and allowed her to bury her face into the top of his head until the tears stopped… and, inevitably, they would start again.

How could he have known that Mai was falling in love? In dismay, he realized that the seam between them was tearing faster than he could patch it up. He tried talking to her many times that night— would try to offer words of encouragement, that even if they had to go back, he would always support her no matter what. But no matter how loud he yelled, she only cried harder, ignoring him.

“I don’t know what to do,” she whimpered. “I can’t leave him.”

Those were the first words she had spoken since Sasuke left, and Bearsace was immediately at attention. For the first time in a long time, Mai picked him up and looked him straight in the eye, and hugged him.

With a pang in his chest, he realized that she didn’t hug him quite the same, anymore.

It’s going to be okay. Can you please, please just respond to me once? I’m so afraid for you.

Her tears stained his fur, and he didn’t realize that anything could quite hurt this bad. “What do I do, what do I do?” she repeated, as if doing so would create a solution.

Mai…

“Ugh, what am I doing…?!”

Mai?!

“I’m talking to a dumb… a dumb stuffed toy! You can’t even talk or think; why do I still even depend on you?”

She had never raised her voice at him— not even when he wanted to change the channel from My Vintage Love to just anything else. Startled, he fell backwards as Mai snarled down at him, tears in her eyes.

“Sitting here crying isn’t going to do anything. I need to think of a way to stay.”

With a note of finality, she took him out the double doors and sat him down inside the storage closet outside. The room went dark when she closed it, and he yelled for her.

—

Bearsace did not speak for a long, long time.

—

A maid found him, once, and asked the castle head what to do with him. He said that because Bearsace belonged to the princess, she should put him back where she found him.

—

A rat ate one of his eyes and choked to death on it before the other one. It did not hurt as bad as Bearsace thought it would.

—

The roof of the closet caved in, and of all people, it was Eyepatch Man who found him.

“Ha!” exclaimed Eyepatch Man, tugging at his paws. “Mitsuhide, didn’t this belong to Mai?”

“Oh, dear. I hadn’t realized our beloved Lady Oda had forgotten anything when she left this room. How very much like her.”

“Look, he’s missing an eye. Guess he matches me, now.”

They forgot about him when they were done fixing the closet, and a castle boy put him back on top of a puddle of melted snow.

—

“Oh, it’s here somewhere…”

Mitsunari! Bearsace cried hoarsely. It had been many weeks (or months, or likely even years) since he had seen Eyepatch Man and Mitsuhide. He would have been happy to see anyone, but Mitsunari was a treat. Where is Mai? She cannot have forgotten about me…

“Just grab what you need and go. You’ll be late for the treaty-signing with the Uesugi-Takeda forces if you don’t hurry up.”

“You’re always so wise, Lord Ieyasu! I- oh, here it is!”

Mitsunari extracted a sword from the depths of the shed. It was ornate and lovely, and covered in dust.

“This will do for a fine peace offering, don’t you say?”

“A peace offering isn’t necessary, with Mai having strengthened our relationship with them so well. I still don’t understand why you were so insistent on…”

Bearsace could not hear what Mitsunari was insistent on, because neither of them saw him on the ground.

—

A young girl with carmine eyes and caramel hair was the next one who found him. Beaten down, Bearsace could offer little more than a weak hello. The girl tilted her head and tugged at a sleeve whose owner was partially hidden by the doorframe.

“Father, what’s this?”

part three / beholding. azuchi, 1592.

Nobunaga’s hands were oddly gentle when he propped the young girl on one arm and took Bearsace in the other. His face was blank, and those hawk’s eyes were boring straight into his.

But those eyes… they were softer, somehow. Content. Bearsace felt ashamed at the way he must look in those eyes that had clearly seen a happy life— were continuing to see a happy life. His face had grown tan, his hair cropped a little bit neater. A scar on his cheek that had not been there before was there now, but did not distract from his handsomeness.

That wry smirk was impossible to misplace, though.

“I recognize you, don’t I?”

“What is it?”

“Your mother made him. Have you seen her, little one?”

“She’s with my uncles.”

Bearsace was so surprised to see Nobunaga bend down to kiss the girl on the cheek that he thought his other eye might fall right off. And if the girl’s mother made him, and Nobunaga was the girl’s father…

“Leave us, Shingen and Mitsunari.”

Nobunaga had made quick time to the audience chamber, where two men and a woman were laughing heartily over a game of cards. The woman had her back to him, but she kissed the two men on the cheeks as they left, then turned around.

Her hair was shorter. Her eyes were bright, and somehow, the kimono seemed better-suited to her now than it had the last time he had seen her many, many years ago. She looked at Nobunaga and the girl with sheer love, and then her gaze dropped to Nobunaga’s other arm— where the stuffed bear sat— and turned disbelieving before filling with tears.

“Bearsace?”

...Mai?

—

Her hands were gentle as she plunged him into rose-scented water and washed away the dust of many years. Her fingers were gentle as they wove thread through his bursting sides. Her lips were gentle as she, like she had many years ago, kissed the spot where his eye would be.

“It seems like you’re just not meant to have this eye, Bearsace. I’m afraid acrylics haven’t been made yet, but between you and me, I think you’ll be just as cute with one acrylic eye and one button one.”

One thing that Bearsace had never noticed was that Mai stuck the tip of her tongue out when she sewed.

One thing that he did notice was that she was wrong many years ago when she told the interviewer acrylics would help him see better.

The button eye made his vision crystal clear.

—

“Yumi, meet Bearsace.”

It’s very nice to meet you, Bearsace said. His voice was still sore from many years of disuse. He felt an unnamed feeling in his heart when he gazed upon Yumi— Mai and Nobunaga’s daughter. Her face was impassive, but with the same spark of curiosity that both her parents possessed.

“I was… very mean to Bearsace when I was younger. Do you think that you can take good care of him for me?”

The corner of Yumi’s lips quirked upwards as she looked at her mother with twinkling eyes. She took Bearsace in her hands gently, tenderly, and kissed the top of his head.

“Good night, Yumi, and sweet dreams. I love you.”

As Mai leaned down to nuzzle her daughter’s head, Bearsace noted that she always had the makings of a fine mother. She smiled down at Bearsace next.

“I’m so sorry that I got angry at you and left you in that shed. You were always there for me when times got rough. I love you so much, Bearsace,” Mai whispered in his ear and kissed the tip of his nose.

Slowly, Bearsace felt the frigidity that had taken hold of his heart begin to melt away. He did not feel empty anymore.

I love you too, Mai. It no longer hurt when she could not respond, because he knew now that he would always be with her.

“Good night. I love you. Say good night, Bearsace.” Yumi said. She lifted Bearsace’s arm and waved at her mother with it.

For one blissful, thousand-thread moment, Mai waved back.

epilogue / azuchi & kyoto, c. 1600s-2016.

Nobunaga and Mai died hand-in-hand on a beautiful spring day after living a long and happy life together. They were the last of their friends to pass, and were buried with them, too. Bearsace had come to love the strange family he had found, who had all found each other, too.

Even if they had hated each other for so long.

When it came Yumi’s time, she held the hand of her son and made him swear to protect Bearsace with his life. And when it came his time, he did the same with his daughter, and she with hers.

Bearsace did not throw his words so much now. He spoke carefully, affectionately, and with all the wisdom he possessed after so many years.

Sometimes, he would reminisce.

The way that Mitsuhide’s lips puckered before teaming up with Masamune to tease Mai.

The way that Kenshin and Nobunaga would spar in the courtyard, scaring the maids even from across the castle.

The way that Hideyoshi nagged Yukimura, and the way that Yukimura rolled his eyes.

They made his heart blossom and wilt and laugh and cry and dance and sing— all at once. This was love, Bearsace had decided a few hundred years ago. The way he could so clearly see in his button-eye the joys that they had shared together— and the way that, after so many years, he could not help but care so deeply.

Even after all these years, Bearsace was in excellent condition because of how well everyone had taken care of him. It was why, when a great, great, great— who-knew-how-many-greats— descendant of the Oda donated him to a museum, he was placed in the center of the Azuchi-Echigo exhibit, right across from a weathered painting that explained the importance of Mai.

c.1582: An ancestor of the teddy bear, “Bearsace” was hand-sewn by Oda Mai, famous peacekeeper of the Azuchi-Echigo Treaty, then passed through the generations by her descendants. This is one of the best-preserved artifacts of the Sengoku period. Generously donated to the Azuchi Castle Archive Museum by Oda Sakura.

“Huh. That’s weird.”

Bearsace had felt asleep for many years, missing the sound of her voice. When he heard it again, he almost felt his heart collapse in shock.

“This Bearsace kinda looks like my Bearsace.”

It took a moment for Bearsace to look down at the newspaper that Mai held in her hands, dated with the year of 2016— the year, he realized, before she and another version of him would go back to the Sengoku period. His eyes could not take enough of her in as she tilted her head, looking at him with a fond sort of bemusement.

Mai, he called, voice breaking with brilliant, shining emotion as she walked away, not thinking twice of the strange encounter. I missed you. Don’t forget to give me to Yumi, and don’t forget to sew me another eye.

But she was something of a white bird in a blizzard— he could not catch her. But he was content to watch as she walked away, farther into a life that he knew would make her very happy. This was all that he swore to do— was to protect her, so that she could finally be happy. The joy of it settled something within him, and visitors to the museum that day could have sworn that the bear’s face settled into a permanent, peaceful smile.

—

Bearsace did not speak for a long, long time.

#ikesen #ikemen sengoku #ikesen fanfic #oda nobunaga #nobunaga #mizusaki mai #mai #bearsace #ensemble cast #my fic #fic: broken and bruised

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threeletterslife · 4 years

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05 | Illegirl

→ previous | next

→ summary: Excelling in every school subject, acing every math test and conquering the academic world is something you do as easily as breathing. As your residential social outcast nerd, you live rather as a recluse, talking to almost no one except for your dear ol’ cousin and that sweet boy in a few of your classes—Jungkook? was that his name? Befriending your ʰᵒᵗ AP stats teacher was the last thing on your high school senior agenda…

→ genre: 90% fluff, 8% crack, 2% angst | teacher!au & f2l!au

→ warnings: profanity, mentions of depression

→ wordcount: 5.8k

You've already met with your math club several times, each time proving how talented each member of the club was. You're in another lunch meeting as you and your teammates enjoy your lunches while playing math jeopardy.

Everyone had even convinced Jimin to play the game, strategically separating you and him into different teams. Even so, your team was winning to your absolute delight, but just by 100 points.

"I choose the last problem," Jungkook says, grinning at you. "The 100 pointer, mental math."

Your competitive self couldn't bear to lose, so naturally, you're wishing Jungkook gets the problem wrong (he's on Jimin's team), though it's a bad thing to wish for—your first math competition is this weekend.

"The problem is 75 plus 167 times 598," Jimin reads from his computer screen. "You better get this right, Jungkook, this is the easiest problem on the jeopardy board."

You're 100% sure you're frowning now. You want to win, you don't want to tie and you know with Jungkook's skill, he would get this correct with ease.

"99,931," Jungkook says with little thought, shrugging.

At that, you and a couple of others on your team scream in delight. "No way!" you shout, jumping up and down and squealing.

Jimin sighs, pinching the little bridge of his nose. "Jungkook, you can't make easy mistakes like this," he says. "Y/N's team, would you take the steal?"

"99,941," you say immediately, grinning at your teacher, who nods in defeat. "We win!" you shout as your teammates squeal in happiness. "Everyone played so well today," you compliment, smiling. "Remember, competition is on Saturday, get some rest, there will be some tough competitors but I believe we can still win."

The club members all nod, looking determined to win the first competition.

"Everybody is dismissed early," Jimin tells his students. "You've got about twenty-five more minutes of lunch."

As everyone starts to file out of the math classroom, your teacher turns to smile at you. "As pissed I am that my team didn't win, I'm proud of you, Y/N," he says. "Jin would be proud too."

You blush slightly, feeling flattered. "It wasn't even the real competition," you say.

"But we know you'll do even better in the real competition," Jungkook says, startling you and your teacher.

Jimin chuckles. "Mr. Jeon, you're still here?" he teases, a playful look twinkling in his eyes. "I have a feeling that your little calculation error was intended," he adds.

You swear you see Jungkook flush as he looks down at his feet. "I can make mistakes too," he says quickly, but even in your eyes, that was a bad lie. "Besides, Y/N's team deserved to win."

"Because Y/N's in it?" Jimin teases again.

"Ji—Mr. Park, don't tease him," you laugh. "Hey, Jungkook, you'll be fine for the competition."

"Thanks," Jungkook says as he smiles. Then he fidgets, looking down at his feet again. Finally, he looks up at you shyly, his bangs shading half of his eyes from your view. "Y-Y/N, would you like to finish lunch with me?"

You glance nervously at your teacher who gives you a look, motioning you to go with your teammate. "Oh, uh, yeah, sure," you say with a tad bit of reluctance in your voice.

Jimin smiles at you proudly as Jungkook beams. "Oh, okay! You can meet my friends!" your peer exclaims excitedly as he practically skips out of the classroom.

You sigh as you give your teacher one last look. "I'd rather eat with you," you say as you follow Jungkook.

As you shut the door to the math class, you swear you hear Jimin say: "you and me both, Y/N."

"You and Mr. Park seem very close," Jungkook comments as you two walk across the green grass field and towards a shady spot where your classmate says his friends would be waiting.

"Ah, yeah. He's a good teacher," you say, brushing off the topic. "Isn't he?"

"Uh, yeah, of course," Jungkook answers right away, fidgeting nervously again. "Oh, um, Y/N, just a heads up, my friends are um... I should just warn y—"

"Hey, Jeon! You back from nerd club?"

You whirl around to see two guys waving at you and Jungkook, both sitting on the grass.

"Yup!" Jungkook answers as he unexpectedly takes your arm and runs towards his friends. "Guys, this is Y/N. Y/N, these are my friends, Taehyung and Yoongi."

You squint at Jungkook's friends. They were definitely not studious—though you probably shouldn't judge a book by its cover, their clothes, their hairstyles were definitely not your typical nerd's wear. And you were proven correct the moment they opened their mouths.

"Hey, aren't you the nerd girl Jungkook always talks about?" the one named Yoongi asks, smirking.

"Always talks about?" you ask, looking towards Jungkook who was blushing and kicking at the grass. "Do you love the math club that much?" you say, saving the poor boy from further humiliation.

Jungkook nods at you, silently thanking you for the save. "Yeah, it's a great club," he replies hastily.

"Just date her already," Taehyung mutters under his breath as he pops a cherry in his mouth.

Yoongi nods as he lays back on the grass. "Everyone in the whole goddamn school knows of your little crush on Y/N, Jungkook."

"Quit bugging him," you tell Jungkook's friends, as you see your classmate squirm. "I didn't know of his crush and guess what—I know now because of you two," you lie easily. Jungkook fidgets next to you, shifting uncomfortably. "I'll forget I ever heard this conversation," you assure him.

Jungkook nods, smiling to himself at your thoughtfulness—except, you weren't being thoughtful, you were just trying not to make the whole lunch awkward as fuck.

"I think you'll be an adorable couple though," Taehyung says, giggling.

Adorable.

The word hits you hard as you get certain horrible flashbacks from the time where you had gone to a specific coffee shop with your teacher—even the way that Taehyung had said the dreaded word was all too familiar too. You are slightly triggered.

You sigh, getting annoyed at Jungkook's friends' persistence. "I'm not allowed to date," you finally fib. "My cousin would kill me if he found me walking around with a boyfriend."

"Oh?" Yoongi asks, raising an eyebrow. "So you're saying you would date our Jungkookie if you could."

You almost blurt out an 'I never said that' but think better of it—the poor boy was sitting right next to you. You shrug. "I don't know."

That's it, Y/N! Nice dodge!

"Why are you two so fixated on Jungkook's love life, anyway?" you ask, exasperated. "Got no girls of your own?"

Your sudden outburst shuns Taehyung and Yoongi as Jungkook chuckles. "That would be correct," Jungkook teases. "They've got boys instead."

You frown, confused until you get the joke.

Your face lights up as you start to laugh. "Did you just expose your gay friends?" you snort.

"Kook!" Taehyung screams as he lunges for your classmate.

Yoongi just rolls his eyes. "Gay and proud," he shrugs, smirking slightly at you. It was almost as if knowing his gay secret made you his friend. "That," Yoongi says, pointing to Taehyung, "is what panicked gay looks like."

You snort again. "What a group," you chuckle.

"It won't be a group if I don't make it alive out of Taehyung's beating!" Jungkook cries desperately as Taehyung has him pinned to the ground.

You giggle. "You two look adorable," you say as Taehyung flinches.

"Gross! No! Kook will always be a friend!" Taehyung shouts as he flies off of Jungkook, rubbing his arms as if to get rid of invisible senior-boy cooties.

You laugh, feeling better with the three goof-balls as your company. "So, Taehyung," you start, turning to the rather handsome-looking boy, "any chance you have a sister that works at Wattbucks?"

Why am I so nervous?

Your fingers are anxiously dancing around the hem of your shirt as you look at the scoreboard. It was your biggest fear—you were tied. And it was the final round of the math competition; whoever won would take the trophy home. The other schools had rather been easy to beat, all of your teammates were on their best game, no one had made a mistake so far and you hoped it would stay that way until you won.

Yet, you were having doubts. The school you were up against were just as good as your team and now you were getting fretful, looking out at the crowd to search for your cousin and teacher, wanting the comfort they could give you. But you couldn't find them.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the tie-breaker problem," the host says dangerously into the microphone.

You literally want to shatter into pieces, that's how hard your heart is beating. You don't know why you're so nervous—it was just your first competition. Maybe it was because you were so competitive, or maybe you really wanted to make Jimin and Jin proud.

"Each school captain may pick one member, excluding themselves, from their team after reading the final problem," the host adds as he walks over to you, handing you a piece of paper with the problem on it and then walking over to your opponent and handing them a piece of paper.

Your hands are shaking as you look at the paper. The long problem doesn't register in your brain at all and panicked, you look into the crowd again. This time, you spot your cousin and your teacher, waving at you. Jin blows you a kiss as Jimin gives two thumbs up and a large smile. Instantly, you feel better.

When you look down at the problem again, you understand it right off the bat. It's a word problem, requiring a lot of mental math since it required the calculation of time. You don't hesitate. "Jungkook," you call. "You're up, good luck!"

"Well, shit," you can hear your classmate mutter as he nervously walks up the stage. He turns around to give you a look and all you can do is give him two thumbs up and a large smile. Jungkook smiles back at you as his posture becomes more confident and he turns to the big screen behind him where the problem would be displayed.

The opponent too stepped out to the stage and stood right in front of Jungkook. You were secretly wishing the scrawny-looking boy of the other team fucked up big time, letting your team take the win. But you knew that wasn't going to happen. You've been watching that team closely, the scrawny boy was the second-best member, right below the captain. The host walks up to the Jungkook and Scrawny boy, handing them both a microphone.

"The final, tie-breaker problem will be displayed on the screen behind the two contestants. Please, when the buzzer rings, turn around and proceed to solve the problem. The first one to speak in the mic and speak the correct answer will win the tournament for his team!"

The crowd is silent with watchful eyes and you stare desperately at the back of Jungkook's head.

I swear if he fails I will literally skin him alive.

The buzzer rings, making you jump back into reality. You see as Scrawny boy and Jungkook both whirl around, quickly skimming through the word problem, their eyes moving frantically across the screen.

"C'mon, Jungkook," you whisper to yourself; you're probably more nervous than your peer up on stage.

It's been two agonizing minutes and you start to worry if the problem is too hard. You had just finished solving it mentally, figuring out the answer was the fourth day of February. Yet you weren't so sure if Jungkook knew.

Then: "The fourth day of February!" Jungkook exclaims into his microphone, his eyes lighting up.

You scream as you jump up and down. He had won! You had won! Your team had won!

But the host frowns and accordingly, your heart drops. "I'm sorry, the first day of February is not the correct answer."

"What?!" you shriek from the side. You're ready to burst—why on earth would they choose a host that's part deaf? Jungkook has clearly said fourth, not first.

"Actually, I said the fourth day of February," Jungkook calmly corrects the host.

"Oh, excuse me, I apologize," the man says, turning slightly red.

"Yeah, well fuck him," you mutter as Nicole, Sarah and August all giggle.

"It seems that we have a winner!" the host calls. You can't even hear what he says next because you, Nicole, Sarah and August are all screaming. Your heart flutters as you jump up and down, your smile stretching across your bright face. From the corner of your eye, you catch Jungkook smiling at you and you smile back.

Jeon Jungkook, I am so fucking proud of you.

"We fucking won!" you scream as you slam into your cousin, trying to lift him up to spin him around. But your cousin was heavier than he looks so you quickly give up.

"Y/N! You can't stay that!" Jin tells you as he pats your head. You cock your head, ready for him to discipline you about your manners. "You didn't just win, you beat their butts! You crushed them! You snatched victory!" Jin announces in a theatrical voice as he hugs you. "I'm so proud of you and your team!"

Jimin scoffs next to you and your cousin. "Jin, you are the worst sore winner I've ever seen."

"What? You've gotta congratulate when they deserve it," Jin says in a 'duh' tone.

"Fine," Jimin says, as he rolls his eyes. "C'mere," he mutters as he tugs you in to hug you. Your heart leaps out and you freeze at the sudden contact. "I'm so proud of you, Y/N," Jimin says right in your ear. You get chills.

But before you become a legitimate statue, you shake yourself out of your daze and hug your teacher back. "I'm so proud of myself too," you comment smartly.

Jimin chuckles, pulling away from the innocent hug. "Always the confidence." He grins, his eye-smile almost knocking the wind out of you.

"YOON FUCKING Y/N!" someone screams from the side, making you jump. You turn around to see Jungkook's besties, Taehyung and Yoongi dashing towards you with amazing speed. Walking casually behind them is Jungkook, who's smiling shyly.

"SUCH A LEGEND!" Yoongi screams again.

"A GODDESS!" Taehyung wheezes.

Everyone turns to look at Jungkook, curious to what he'll say.

"Uh, a genius?" Jungkook tries, looking down at his shoes.

Taehyung scoffs. "That's implied."

"But legend and goddess aren't?" Jungkook snaps back.

The sudden overflow of compliments leaves you a blushing mess as you stutter: "I-I'm not that amazing, guys," you say as modestly as you can. "Jungkook was the one who got the winning answer right. Besides, everyone did well today."

"You're right," Jimin says, smiling. "C'mon, Jungkook, be a man and give Y/N a congratulatory hug."

"You can't be less of a man than your two gay besties," Yoongi sings mockingly as Taehyung slaps his shoulder.

It's not just Jungkook who's blushing—you are too. Why was it that everyone was always pairing you and Jungkook together?

The shy boy sighs as he scoots closer to you, awkwardly pulling you into a soft hug. "You were amazing today; I mean, like any day," he says.

You smile at his sincerity. "Hey, you're our winner today."

The two of you pull away to a crowd of people screaming.

"THEY FINALLY HUGGED!" you hear Taehyung shrieking somewhere in the background.

You cock your head, confused.

How come you weren't feeling the sparks that everyone else assumed you had?

"So, Jin ditched you again," Jimin laughs as you enter his classroom after school.

"Well, you know his theater team keeps winning so he has to be away," you say. "Got a problem with it?"

"If it means I can hang with you, no," Jimin answers, standing up as he takes off his black-bordered glasses.

You chuckle as you roll your eyes. "So, no grading papers today?" you ask, pointing to Jimin's clean desk.

"Nope. I'm doing something even better. I'm going to clean the classroom."

You scrunch your nose. "Yeah, have fun with that. I guess I'll walk home today." There was no way in hell you were going to clean the classroom. You knew what went down in the student's seats during class. You shudder slightly at the thought.

Jimin laughs. "And risk being killed by Jin for not taking care of you? No thanks. You're staying with me."

You frown. "Yeah, nah. Bye." You start to walk towards the door.

"I'll buy you food," Jimin offers.

You stop walking. "What kind of food?" you ask as you slowly turn around.

"Anything you want," Jimin laughs.

"A five-star meal at a fancy restaurant," you say greedily.

Jimin laughs to your dismay. Goddammit, you always forget this little bitch is loaded. "Whatever anything you wa—" Jimin starts but you interrupt him.

"I'm just playing," you say, rolling your eyes. "Ice cream will do," you giggle as you perch on top of your desk.

Jimin rolls his eyes. "I still admire Jin who deals with you. Anyways, we're gonna start by wiping the desks."

You sigh. "This is going to be disgusting," you comment as Jimin chuckles, rummaging through a supply closet and taking out antibacterial wipes. He hands you a one.

"Start wiping!" he exclaims.

You squint at your teacher, taking your wipe and trudging to the back of the classroom. Daintily, you spread out the wet, white thing, placing your pointer finger on it and dragging it across the sticky desk.

"Y/N!" Jimin calls. You look up to see your teacher, his tie discarded and a few buttons of his blue shirt undone. His sleeves are rolled up and you catch a glimpse of his muscular arms.

He looks... sexy. God, Y/N, can you not??

"You're not supposed to wipe the desk like you're some fairy!" Jimin laughs as he starts to walk over to you. "Put some back into it!" Suddenly, before you know it, he's standing behind you, stomach dangerously close to your back as he uses his wipe, pressing it into the desk hard to clean.

You slap your teacher's hand. "I was doing that," you protest. You attempt to clean the desk again, but Jimin has the audacity to laugh at your poor endeavor.

"No, you're still doing it wrong," he chuckles. "Here."

His hand falls on top of yours as he slowly and firmly puts pressure, puppeteering your cleaning. You flush at the contact, feeling the strong muscles beneath his shirt pressing into your back. You think you feel a bit faint.

Why? He's just a friend... Just a teacher!

"Get it?" Jimin says, a bit too closely into your ear.

You flinch at the proximity and you turn around to face your teacher, leaning on the desk. "Can I just not clean? You can forget the ice cream you owe me."

Jimin chuckles, shaking his head. "How about this, I'll buy you fried chicken and ice cream if you can beat me."

"Beat you? With the wipe? Gladly," you say, rolling your eyes.

Jimin mimics your eye-roll. "No, Y/N. Like a competition. Whoever cleans more desks wins. If I win, you buy fried chicken and ice cream; if you win, I'll buy."

You raise your eyebrows. "Fine," you say, getting up and confidently pushing Jimin back with a single hand. "It's on."

He laughs at you. "I've been doing this for years."

"If food's on the line, I never lose," you say, haughtily.

"Thought you said you never lose," Jimin laughs as you lay back on a desk, pouting from your loss.

"Just one more desk," you grumble. "Just one more!" You sigh, rolling off the desk and standing limply. You whine, "Jiminie." Maybe some puppy-dog eyes could save you from your crying wallet?

"That's not gonna work," he laughs. "You're buying."

"Wow what an asshole," you say.

"Hey, watch your language, we're still in a classroom," Jimin laughs.

You sigh. "Fine, Mr. Park," you say, wiggling your eyebrows.

Your teacher sighs, but you see the glint of amusement in his eyes. "What will I ever do with you, Y/N?"

"I thought I was buying?" you say as you clutch onto an ice cream cone while balancing a box of fresh, hot fried chicken on your lap.

Jimin looks over to you, grinning as he grips two hands on the steering wheel of his car. "The competition was a joke. Besides, I should be thankful you helped me clean."

He lifts one hand from the steering wheel and steals your ice cream cone, taking a huge bite of the mint chocolate chip ice cream.

"Ew! I was eating that!" you shriek, but you flush at the same time. Sharing an ice cream cone with your teacher? Oh boy. You feel strange butterflies in your stomach.

"What? Are you a germaphobe?" Jimin teases, giving you back what was left of your ice cream. He licks his slightly pink lips and laughs.

You sigh, holding the cone helplessly. "What's next, sharing a toothbrush?"

"Sharing a bed?" Jimin jokes, earning a smack from you.

"Don't think I've forgotten those blackmail-worthy pictures," you say. You lick your ice cream. "Or that time you were drunk..."

You flush, bringing up that memory. But both of you had established that day hadn't actually meant something. The incident was now used as a joke between the two of you—act like it, Y/N.

"Okay, okay, whatever," your teacher chuckles as he noticeably grips the steering wheel tighter. "You do know if you spread the word of those two incidents, you'll be in the hot seat too."

You roll your eyes. "Oh yeah? I can just tell everyone that you initiated it and I wouldn't even be lying."

Jimin laughs, to your dismay. "You wouldn't dare, you goody-two-shoes."

"Try me."

Jimin chuckles, poking your cheek. "Whatever, hand me your ice cream, will you?"

You grumble as you reluctantly hand Jimin your ice cream cone.

But really, your face was burning red, especially that spot Jimin had just poked. You felt fluttery and flushed whenever you were around your teacher. What the fuck were you feeling?

God, do I like him?

You look at Jimin who was happily licking your ice cream. He reminds you of a goddamn puppy: adorable, sweet and kind.

Oh, yeah. I'm definitely whipped for Park Jimin.

But you can't help but think: does he like me too?

With Jin gone, Jimin's house was basically your second home. As soon as you step into your teacher's cordial house, you make a beeline to his comfy couch, collapsing down on it.

You hear the jingle of car keys as Jimin sets them down on the kitchen counter. He walks in front of you, throwing off his tie somewhere and fumbling to unbutton a few buttons of his tight, collared shirt.

Immediately, you look away flushing. Goddamn, can he like, not do that so casually in front of me? Your heart beats avidly in your chest and in your head.

"Want ramen?" your teacher asks.

Pretending like you didn't just have weird thoughts of Jimin, you sit up and nod innocently. "And this time, we're educated so we won't set off the fire alarms."

Jimin laughs heartily as he makes his way over to the kitchen, you sauntering close behind him. Rummaging through his kitchen cabinets, your friend comes up with two packs of ramen and hands you a large, red pot.

"They're not a decade old, are they?" you question, looking suspiciously at the ramen.

Jimin laughs. "Don't worry, I went out and bought some. They're fresh."

Scrunching your nose at his description of ramen, you shake your head as you fill the pot with water, making sure it reached less than half of the pot's height. "I can't believe last time we thought there wasn't enough water," you giggle as you daintily place the pot on the expensive-looking stove.

"Pretty idiotic of us," Jimin chuckles as he turns on the stove. After waiting until the water boils, you make Jimin put the ramen in because you're afraid the scalding hot water would splash on you.

Everything goes smoothly; you set a timer on your phone for five minutes, Jimin adds the sauce and you both wait.

"What a glow-up. We literally tried to cook this shit for thirty minutes last time," Jimin sighs, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Honestly, we're pretty dumb," you reply, giggling.

"We're not dumb. We're just math geeks who can't cook," Jimin chuckles, nudging you.

You nudge him back. "I guess that can work too. Can you stir the ramen? I'm scared it'll explode in my face."

Your teacher laughs, rolling his eyes. "You're such a scaredy-cat."

"I know." You shrug the small insult off, giddily watching the pot full of bubbling orange soup. "I swear if this ramen doesn't turn out as it should, I'm going to throw a big, fat tantrum," you declare as Jimin diligently stirs your meal.

"No, it'll definitely work," Jimin says confidently, placing a hand on his hip with such sass.

And he was right.

"God, this is the life," you say, stretching out on Jimin's couch while pigging out on the most delicious ramen you'd ever had in your whole entire life.

Your teacher nods, slurping his very last noodle as you set your bowl down. Jimin wordlessly stands up, taking your bowl and his to the kitchen and you hear him quickly washing them.

When he comes back, he collapses right next to you on the couch. "So, what should we do now?" he asks.

"Um, I dunno," you say, shrugging, "maybe talk?" you ask lamely.

And talk you did.

Settling down from laughing his ass off for a good ten minutes (at your stupid joke), Jimin finally looks at you calmly. All signs of his hysterical laughter were gone from his face. Instead, he looks serious now. Dead serious.

Goddamn, the mood swing.

"So.. uh, Y/N..." Jimin starts, making you turn your head to look at him. "I never really asked this, but what was it like?"

Your nose wrinkles in confusion. "What was what like? My grades? My personality? My face?? Well, puberty did me well," you joke, flipping your hair.

"Depression."

"Oh." Your face falls.

"I mean, you don't have to answer at all... I just—I'm sorry I'm nosy. I shouldn't have asked, I shouldn't have—"

"It was shit," you reply quickly. "You know the feeling of getting up on the wrong side of the bed? Depression is like you're so fucking miserable that you can't even get out of bed."

"Oh."

"Yeah. That's the synopsis, I guess. But whatever. I'm over it," you say, swatting the topic away.

You internally sigh. We were talking about the existence of goddamn mermaids a second ago, why is he bringing up depression for fuck's sake?

"Sometimes I feel like I can't get out of bed," Jimin mumbles, popping your bubble of thoughts.

Okay, what now?

"What?" you say, jerking your body towards your teacher in shock. It couldn't be...

"No, no, don't worry Y/N, I'm not depressed or anything. I just feel like shit sometimes," your teacher sighs, running his hands through his hair.

"Does Jin know?" you ask out of habit.

"Well, not the details," Jimin says, looking down at his feet. " I just kinda figured I should entrust you with the details since you're my friend, I trust you... I mean, Jin's my trusty friend but it's just that you've survived depression, you know? You might understand better. Now I'm not saying you should give me the advice to get through shit, but that's exactly what I'm saying."

You take in his panicked words while nodding slowly. "Yeah, yeah, of course, Jimin. I'll try to give you advice. So what's bothering you?"

Your friend relaxes into the couch, his back enveloped in the pillowy folds. "School," he answers.

"School? School?!" Your eyes widen in shock. "I thought you love your job!"

"I mean, I do, but there's just stress... Maybe I'm being a baby but—"

"Stress?" you repeat. "Jimin, I wouldn't ever have known... You hide it too well."

Your friend meets your eyes for a split second to give you a meager smile. "I figured my stress shouldn't affect others."

Heart fluttering at his comment, you try hard to keep your cool. Why is he so thoughtful, goddammit!

"Is someone being mean to you? Is it just too much work? What about school is so stressful?" you press, lightly leaning towards your teacher as you expect an answer.

"I dunno... Maybe I worry too much," Jimin sighs. "It sounds so stupid to put it this way but..." he trails off. "Please don't judge me."

You raise your eyebrows in shock. "I would never judge anyone for their problems," you say. "I learned from my experience, Jimin, you're in good hands."

Your friend nods as he opens his mouth to speak once more. "I... I feel like I'm getting bullied," he barely whispers.

"What?" You couldn't hear him.

"I feel like I'm getting bullied," Jimin says a bit louder.

"What?!" you shout.

"I feel like I'm—"

"No! I heard you the second time! You've got to be kidding? Who on earth would bully you? Hold up, be right back, I'm going to break some spines—" You try to stand up, but Jimin softly grabs your wrist, tugging you back down into the couch.

"No, Y/N, it's not something severe, I swear... Just a few emails, that's it."

"Emails? Emails?! From who?"

You can't seem to say anything supportive at the moment. Angry emotions rush over as you think: who the fucking hell in their right fucking goddamn mind would have the fucking deadass nerve to bully such a kind, intelligent person?

"Parents," Jimin sighs.

"Why the fu—"

"It's because of my tests," your friend sighs. You're about to interrupt, but Jimin's eyes literally plead at you to let him continue. So you let him.

"I know my tests are challenging, I make them myself," Jimin starts. "It's never ever my intention to make my students fail—it's to help them improve. I mean, I have extremely talented students like you who would die of boredom in my class if the tests were too easy; but I have others that would die of boredom because they just hate math. I wanted to make sure everyone was learning, so I tried to make my tests more difficult...

"Of course there were people who caught on quick, like you, but there were people who just didn't get it," Jimin sighs, giving you a small smile. "I remember when you got a C on my first test," he recalls. "But that must've given you a huge shock because ever since then, you've never gone below an A. You give me hope in my students, you and the others in the math club. Granted, some of them are born geniuses but..." he trails off.

"I expected most of my students to get the hang of my tests. You know, at least score a B... But just so many are flat-out failing and I'm starting to wonder if I'm the problem," your teacher sighs. "And these emails are making it worse."

Jimin fishes out his phone, scrolling through some photos. "Screenshots," he says as he hands his device over to you.

You take your friend's phone, swiping through the screenshotted emails as your jaw drops lower and lower after reading each one.

My son lost his confidence because of you.

My daughter dreads going to school because of you.

My kids don't learn anything in your class.

You can't teach.

Your class is a waste of time.

Where are your credentials? Are you even allowed to teach?

You freeze, Jimin's phone still in your hands as you look at the screenshots in shock. What the hell? Finally looking up, you see your friend's face buried in his hands, his back humped over in a miserable way.

"Hey, hey," you whisper, patting Jimin's back reassuringly. "These emails are absolute crap. Don't take them seriously. I know you're doing your best."

"But I'm not!" Jimin says through his hands. "Obviously if that many people are unhappy with my teaching, I'm doing something wrong..."

"People are just fucking whiny," you say. "You teach fine! I'm the proof, okay? God, you should report these people with what they're accusing of you!"

"But I can't report these things when what they're saying is partly true... Sometimes I think of remaking my tests. I should do it, right?"

"No!" you declare. "Are you kidding me? If your tests aren't hard, then what's the point of your class? You should give out a challenge for fuck's sake. If parents are complaining that their dumbass children aren't getting the concepts, then that's their fault for not trying!" you shout, fluttering your arms aggressively.

Jimin looks up, his wet eyes a hurtful shade of pink. Something inside you tears as he tries to give you a smile. "It feels so good to have someone to listen," he says. "What would I have done without you?"

You nod, beckoning your teacher in for a hug. "C'mere," you say, as you wrap your arms around Jimin, embracing his warm body as he rests his head on your shoulder. "I guess the advice of the day is, it's okay to show your stress to others sometimes."

You feel Jimin nod, his arms slipping around your waist. Your shirt becomes wet as Jimin cries into your shoulder, and you start patting his back you try to comfort him.

He must've been holding in so much all the time. You're glad he decided to let it all out because you know it'll make him feel better in the end.

Yet as Jimin's warmth presses up against you, you can't seem to ignore the obvious proximity of you and your teacher. Your cheeks are heating up as you struggle to suppress the flushed feeling of your heart fluttering in your rib cage. Your friend, your teacher needs you, it isn't the time to think of him as something more special.

—previous | next

—masterlist

#jimin #park jimin #jimin fanfiction #jimin imagine #bts #bts fanfiction #jimin fluff #jimin angst #teacher au #jimin fanfic #illegirl

142 notes · View notes

sumeshi-t · 4 years

Text

[Kiseki no Angst]

akashi seijuro x reader

wordcount: 5k+

tw: cheating, mentions of depression, death :(

"i don't hate you. i'm just disappointed you turned into everything you said you'd never be."

people used to look down on you, never really noticing that you were someone worth respecting. it wasn't your fault, but your surname's fault. you always knew that being born into that family was the biggest mistake. nevertheless, you worked hard not because you wanted to be noticed, but just to tell them that you weren't a piece of trash anyone can just trample on.

despite the insults aimed your way, you maintained your cool. you didn't stoop down to their level because, hey, they didn't know who you really are. that you were someone more than “just what your surname is”, that what it was doesn't really define you.

you were one of those students who aced in tests, and got high enough remarks in every subject.

you were also someone who, in the field of sports, is actually considered good. but you also had your own flaws–one of them being your laziness. you were too lazy to focus on one sport and decided that as long as you don't get a failing mark because of that subject, then you're fine.

friends? you rarely had them, because most of the people who approach you were just looking for your weaknesses, so they can have something to gossip about the next day. so, you usually just sat alone and ate in silence, watching everyone from a certain point in the room.

there was this very outstanding student, and his name was akashi seijuro. he was someone close to perfection–intelligent, sporty, and quite good looking. yeah, he was your classmate but there was hardly any conversation made between you two. due to your constant observations, it was pretty damn obvious that a portion of the female students had a not-so-secret admiration for that guy.

you wondered if anyone was brave enough to confess their feelings, but seeing as how his eyes weren't interested in that aspect of life, his stare could either make a girl combust on the spot or make them bury their body alive. you had a hunch that confessions were rare to happen.

also, since he's too smart, you figured that he could somehow, sense it in a person. akashi seijuro, for you, was peculiar and indeed, someone to look up to. he was something akin to an inspiration, without the need to be interested in him in any romantic way.

you still wonder how on earth he noticed you, as you were playing chess–alone–just a few meters before the gym's entrance, in some lounge in school. that time, news about rakuzan's loss to seirin were being spread around and duh, since you were in the losing school, it was the hottest topic.

usually, people would just glance then whisper amongst themselves upon seeing you. who wouldn't? when they see someone having a fierce battle with their self.

but he was the first, in a long time:

akashi moved a piece on the board and muttered, "checkmate."

you had a scowl on your face from analyzing too much and it was still evident when you looked up at him. your eyes met his, and though you've heard that if you did, he'll “gouge” them out, you were still, just a tad bit frustrated at his interruption. really though, it was the first time you looked straight into his eyes, and you knew well to listen.

but contradicting what your brain had always reminded you, akashi didn't flinch or scowl, and you just couldn't read his expression.

"i didn't mean to bother you, kaname."

akashi just came from practice and you realized, it was about time for students to go home. then it took your brain seconds to register the way he called you using that last name.

you nodded, then proceeded to packing your stuff, turning your attention away from him. you thought he'd leave already, but he was just standing there and was watching you.

not to be rude, you stopped for a while, holding a white queen and a black king in one hand as you looked at him again. "akashi-kun, is there something wrong?"

"why do you prefer isolating yourself from everyone?" the red-haired and red-eyed guy suddenly asked, catching you off-guard. you smiled, not really reaching your eyes, and answered as you continue to pile the pieces back inside their place.

"because they don't like my name. and it's also for them to have a topic to talk about, every once in a while. i pity them," you trailed off.

"but ‘y/n' isn't that bad for a name, don't you think?"

his words made you freeze, a small gasp escaping your lips, which were soon trembling as you tried to hold in tears. “what's… it to you, then? i mean, you barely even talk to me in class, get it?"

this was very sudden, you thought. you described it as awkward, weird; and a lot more words your brain's dictionary could give you. or at least it could provide you. the akashi you've come to know was a bit more hostile than this.

but he smiled.

akashi seijuro smiled at you. it wasn't fake, it wasn't something you daydreamed. it was genuine. the warmth you felt from it, was far from fantasy.

"it's just a heads up for you, that there are some people who won't judge you because of a surname," he paused, waiting for you to react. when you didn't, he continued. "just continue being you, y/n."

"…why are you being like this all of a sudden?"

"you're interesting, and you have potential to do great things. don't let their judgments get in your way."

it honestly just started from that day. that was the first unforgettable moment you shared with the emperor.

you really didn't expect that he'd end up sharing his surname with yours, in the end.

and now, as you wore an elegant and expensive white gown, you knew there were more moments you can look forward to. and you knew, that you were you, he was who he was, and that the two of you were special in your own ways. you honestly thought his father would get in the way of your relationship, but it seems like the odds were in your favor.

your rings were wrapped around your fingers, and a kiss to seal and lock you two together for the rest of your lives.

akashi was a very loyal man. he was sweet, have tendencies to spoil you, despite his busy schedules. you were fine with it, after all, you were there behind him and supporting him.

akashi was also quite a loving husband; he lives up to his title,"the emperor" both on the court, and, although not really surprising, this was the case when it came to your bedroom activities.

still, there was something about him, that your guts have been meaning to tell you, that there was something wrong. or something you didn't know or understand yet. maybe it was his eyes, but really, you just end up drowning in them. so you killed off the doubt screaming at the back of your head.

you were faithful, and you both love each other so much that that love gave fruit to an addition to the akashi family lineage. a boy whose features were a perfect combination of yours and your husband's. for that reason, your child's name had sounded so similar to akashi's.

akashi seiji.

he wanted it so, because you wouldn’t agree to “seijuro jr”. somehow that was childish of the red-haired man (and of you) but it was cute, you figured. even though you two were married, he still rarely showed his, somewhat, other sides.

and there goes that feeling again… doubt? suspicion? you couldn't even find a word to name it.

years have gone by, and before you knew it, you were celebrating seiji's fourth birthday, complete with all of your husband's business friends, and his middle school basketball team, the 'generation of miracles'.

your lives were going too happy, too well, too perfect. just like a fairytale. you began to believe that until one night. things began to take a different turn, perhaps going in the wrong direction.

you came home from work—you had insisted that you won't be a housewife, and you didn't have any interest in the akashi business—and was surprised to see your husband there, doing his paperwork in your room, with seiji on the bed, solving mathematical equations that weren't really for his mere age of six.

your son jumped out of bed and ran to hug you as soon as you came in, his arms wrapping around your waist as he did so. yeah, he was a mother's boy indeed.

and he went on about his day; seiji was getting better at playing the piano, and was also starting to learn basketball. his eyes that had the same shade of color as yours, darted over to sneak at his father, and whispered. "mother… i think father should teach me instead of any other coach. because he is the greatest!" he giggled.

akashi sighed, hearing him clearly, then turned around to face you both with his eyes closed. you expected him to at least smile at your son and his eagerness, but he had this unreadable look on his face. eyes closed, his brows sunk in deeper. this was the usual face he makes when he used to crush his opponents in basketball, the face he makes when a secretary just fails at their assigned task.

it was… terrifying.

"shut. it."

your eyes widened a bit, but seeing how your son reacted, broke your heart more. so you forced a smile, bent down and gave your son's chubby cheek a peck. "come on, ji-kun. it's way past your bedtime. say good night to your father." he did as he was told, bowing before akashi before you led him outside, back to his own room and waited for him to fall asleep.

it was around 9:45 in the evening when you came back to your room and saw your husband on the bed now, reading a book. you quickly went to the bathroom to freshen up before crawling into bed next to him. you leaned your head, placing it on his right shoulder and took his scent in.

"sei? is everything alright?" when you felt that the timing was right, you asked him. with a soft thud, the book was closed and he placed it on the bedside table near him, making you lean on the headboard instead.

"everything is as it should be, y/n." he faced you with a blank look, and it was the first time you noticed that his eyes were now different. again. his golden yellow eye had returned, and looking at him made you feel uneasy.

"and why are you looking at me that way?"

"n-nothing, dear… maybe i'm just tired."

"then sleep, rest. good night, y/n. by the way, try to avoid making too much eye contact with me." he turned around, and slept with his back facing you. you were… shocked; no, that was an understatement. you were hurt. what had happened, you wondered. you tried to think back everything that has happened between you two, if you've said or done anything to trigger this certain side of your husband.

when he was deep in his sleep, you placed an arm over his body and let the darkness your eyelids can give, take over you.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➴➵➶➴➵➶

there was one thing that was constant in this world.

change.

things change. people change. as time passes by. some were for good, for the better.

but the way your husband changed, it wasn't exactly good, no, not at all.

it started out with text messages from women's names you didn't know. and akashi totally didn't care nor bothered if you saw the notifications popping up on his phone.

and in the end, unwelcome women came in every night, sometimes with your husband or the girl was fetched by limo. you were usually late to arrive home since your workplace was much farther than his.

you weren't deaf, dumb, nor blind. you also weren't strong enough to handle this. it hurt to know and be slapped in the face by the reality that you have no power to stop him even if you tried. if it wasn't for your son's presence, you might've snapped. every night you'd sleep in your son's bed, trying your best to just cry it all out once he's gone to sleep.

once he asked why you weren't sleeping with akashi. you only smiled, feeling a lump form in your throat. "well, your father is very busy with work and he doesn't like being disturbed."

that was also the same night you decided to sit right outside your bedroom doors for a few minutes, hearing every single noise completely, and all you could do was to let your tears fall down in streams on your face, sobbing quietly.

you began questioning your worth; this was worse than when you were younger. you much prefer the hushed whispers and gossiping that surrounded you than the way your husband was destroying your pride and your love.

weeks, months, and then it has been a year since akashi has been taking women—mistresses—home for his own sexual desires. for a year, you remained strong, well, as strong as you could and as you would like to believe yourself to be.

and then it was seiji's seventh birthday.

for a day, you were suddenly his 'beloved wife' once more. akashi gave you stolen kisses on your forehead, your cheek and an arm was always either on your waist or around your shoulders.

you excused yourself when it was time to eat, and a certain pink-haired lady followed you to the restroom. "y/n-chan?"

you blinked back the forming tears in your eyes and forced yourself to smile, however you weren't able to fool momoi satsuki. "is akashi-kun… okay?"

you looked anywhere except your friend's concerned eyes. biting your lower lip to prevent from breaking down in front of her, you nodded stiffly.

silence shared between you two until she couldn't hold it in anymore.

"he isn't the real akashi, is he?"

then the restroom doors suddenly burst open, and entered a busty woman with layered auburn hair, wearing a tight dress that reached just above her knees, hugging her body completely, and six inch stilettos that matched her clothing.

her icy blue eyes were familiar to you and then you remembered her as one of the women akashi has taken in.

"oh! mrs. akashi, hello. nice to meet you. you're looking splendid!" she reached for your hand and shook it. "i haven't introduced myself, i'm aya, akiyama aya, one of the new board directors." you put on the best fake smile you could and with a pleasant—yet slightly higher tone of voice—you conversed with the bitch—mistress.

when aya had left, momoi decided to hug you, as if she saw through everything just because of what happened between you and the lady.

"m-momoi… i just… don't know what happened… why things had to be this way, it's so hard for me to be living under the same roof as his."

you let a few tears go, then quickly wiped them off as you pulled away from momoi's caring hug. "please, don't tell anyone about this. i have my son to keep me going, and i'll be stronger. thank you so much."

"b-but, y/n-chan!"

you shushed her, bringing your index finger to your lips. "let's go, they're probably having dessert by now. you should really try it." and you led her out, squeezing her right shoulder lightly as a final way of thanking her.

you watched your son enjoy his special day, as his father sat next to you, running his thumb over your palm he was holding. something about what momoi said had your pulse racing, even if you two were silent. gulping down your fears, you asked him. "who are you?"

his thumb lingered over your skin before he removed his hand from yours. he smiled, and you didn't know if he was laughing at you, mocking you for such a stupid question or was forcing it out of his system for show.

"i'm akashi seijuro, your husband, who else would i be?"

your son suddenly raced towards you. his eyes were intent on his father's, and you swore you saw akashi's eyebrows twitch for a fraction of a second. "father, my friends and i have decided to go horseback riding. may i take yukimura with me?"

akashi motioned for his hand as a go signal, and seiji bowed before running off with a butler to where the horses were kept. and then when they were far away from you two, you resumed your low-volume conversation with the red-haired man.

"do you love me?"

"yes, i do."

"no, do you—you, right now—do you, love me?"

and then he was silent. his face looked troubled, as if akashi was having a war with his own self, with his own mind.

"that's what i thought…" you murmured, and stood up, suddenly feeling numb. you went to follow your son and took pictures of him, innocence and happiness radiating off of him. seiji was your last pillar of strength, and if you can't hold on any longer, you'll have to take him with you.

'that gives me an idea…' you thought.

but as a faithful wife, you still had to think. what if akashi returns to his real state?

two weeks later, seiji made a mistake with the notes of the piano piece he was playing. akashi was there, listening, while you had been busying yourself with crochet; and he made his son stop. the look he gave seiji was a look you'd like to describe as one would use when abandoning or when giving up on someone.

"why can't you be a little bit more like me?" he sighed, patting seiji lightly on his head before leaving, his eyes darting towards you, as you can see from your peripheral vision.

akashi disappeared, probably off to find aya or another woman he kept.

that was the last draw. you were fine if you were being the one trampled on—most of your life, you went through that—but if your son gets affected, oh, things were to change for real.

you hated this change. why did things have to change?

it was funny how you just felt your anger now. determined, you helped your son perfect the piece before letting him have his snacks, leaving you alone with your thoughts. playing a different piece, one you once enjoyed playing with akashi, your eyes were closed since you've mastered every note by heart.

you cried one last time, then made a decision. if akashi couldn't stand your presence, how much more that you couldn't stand those filthy women. it was also for the sake of the child. this was for the better. you loved akashi and you always will, but… things are different.

he is different.

through your own sources, and with the help of your mother, you were able to find a house of your own. you hadn't really told her the complete story, nor do you want to, and you didn't want her to get involved. you're not going to take revenge, of course. you're just going to keep your distance until the real akashi decides to come back... you hoped.

you can just make him—the akashi right now—to love you. but… you're far too hurt and exhausted already. you honestly tried. it was too late, you figured.

he didn't… care.

you know there's a chance you'll also get hurt physically if a confrontation was done. plus, your son, you didn't want him to have to go through that. he was just seven!

tonight you'll set things right, or maybe a bit better. sort of. you were just tired. and couldn't endure anymore. you were but a human after all, and this was your limit.

in just five days, you and your son would stay in the house—bought with your own money—that would be ready once you arrive.

"y/n." akashi's stern voice startled you. for the first time, he was 'available' tonight, which happened to be the last night you were going to see him this close, the last night you were going to hear his voice, his breathing. this was the last night you were going to live under the same roof, where you promised to love him with every passing day; yet the same place he broke his oath to you.

"seijuro." you replied. you met his eyes and tried to look deep into them, trying to find the man you married. you know it's him, he's there, but somehow he just won't come out.

"you bought a house under your name," he began and that wasn't a question. you nodded, not a single emotion slipping from your face. you tried to remain as blank as you could. "yes, and i used my own resources to acquire it, don't worry."

'this house was supposed to be for you, me, our child. and i was supposed to be the only woman to share this bed with you. but if there are too many others, then i guess i'll take my leave.' you wanted to say more, but he just stared at you.

he was trying to read you.

but no, no he won't. he wouldn't understand. because he didn't know you.

"…sei," you took a breath and he turned to face you once more. and you pushed yourself forward and gave him a kiss, and you closed your eyes.

god, you missed his lips. you probably imagined it that his hand tugged on your hair while the other caressed your cheek, down to your shoulders then arms. when you pulled away, it was for real. his upper body was nearly on top of you already, and your eyes widened a bit.

you shied your body away from his, and he probably got the message that nothing would happen between you two tonight.

"…good night, sei." you murmured and turned the opposite side. you felt no movement from his side for a few seconds, nearly a minute or so, until the sheets were pulled and the lights dimmed.

you only took a nap, waking up at around two in the morning. everything was ready. you had your son up and in your car already with the help of his maid. she was eager to help you, and she'll go with you.

with one last glance at your husband, you left a note and placed a clear, glass queen chess piece on top of it.

then, you were gone.

that morning, akashi woke up to an empty bed and saw your note. the first words he saw made him grip on the paper, crumpling its edges a bit.

‘sei.

don't misunderstand this, please. i don't hate you. i'm just disappointed you turned into everything you said you'd never be.’

you had left him the address of your house nonetheless, even if you knew full well that he can just get someone to find it for him but you weren't going to be selfish and keep your child to yourself. it's just… living in two different houses 'cause apparently, one wasn't enough, no matter how big it was.

‘…in case you'd want to visit your son; please do. i hope you find happiness, akashi seijuro. not just you, but also the real akashi seijuro.’

you wrote your name on the bottom right side of the paper, concluding the letter.

oddly, akashi didn't burn the letter or anything like that and instead, threw it inside one of his drawers, including the chess piece. he thought you couldn't stand living away from him, and even if he doesn't want to admit it, he was waiting for you.

the same way you were waiting for him to just come to you as his real self.

the last time you met him was during your child's ninth birthday. you were the one organizing the parties, not him, and you even had to invite him. akashi still had his pride with him, and you expected that. you also expected that he still came home with different women every other night, but he didn't tell you that he'd stopped.

the akashi household… was quiet. too quiet.

two years passed. no child-like voice laughing, no happy piano tunes, no you; it was dull, it was nearly lifeless. it was too late when akashi realized that. you sometimes text him, reminding him of work-related stuff, and that he should be taking care of his self. sometimes leaving subtle hints for him to visit for seiji's sake.

he didn't want you to know that he was missing you. and he wanted it to hear from you that you missed him, but you felt, after two full years of waiting, that you were the only one wanting to continue on with this marriage.

again, for seiji, you decided not to divorce him. it had been in your head for a while. since he is a male akashi, they might snatch your child, the only heir, your only treasure and sanctuary; and force you to live the rest of your days alone. you couldn't take that.

so instead, with the strength left within you, you continued to raise your son, despite feeling down at how helpless you seemed to see yourself.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➴➵➶➴➵➶

akashi seijuro felt empty, and thinking about it, he finally let his pride go off for a bit. this year, his son was turning 10, and during his time, at that age, his father was already preparing him for business-related duties.

yes, that would be a perfect excuse to finally visit his wife and child.

reaching for one of the drawers, akashi grabbed the note and the chess piece. he cursed his self for losing and giving his wife a chance. plus, it had been months since you last contacted him and he wanted to know why. it wasn't like you to just cut him off like that. it has been far too long to be considered as the woman being busy with work.

akashi drove his way using his own car, not a limo, to where his wife and son both lived. he had hoped that they didn't move without her telling him about it. but then, it would've been easy to track them down.

the house was a bit big for just the two of them, he mused upon laying his eyes on a pearly-white, simple, yet elegant house. he went out of the car after turning the engine off, outside black iron gates.

akashi rang the doorbell, and he waited, the glass chess piece in his pocket. after around two minutes, a boy could be seen running to the gate, carrying a basketball with him.

"he's… grown… a lot." the father of the child murmured. since they lived separately, seiji exclaimed in happiness at the sight of his father. he opened the gates for the elder akashi to enter and gave him a big, warm hug.

akashi's heart began to throb, and he returned his son's hug, going down on one knee to hug seiji tighter. he half expected for his wife to be there, running to the sight of this reunion with tears brimming her eyes.

but there was no one.

but, it can't be that she left her child—their child—all alone?

"seiji, where is your mother?" akashi asked upon pulling his son away gently to look at him. the kid looked down, scratched the back of his head and sighed. the young akashi's actions reminded him so much of his wife. "well... you see, she's been away for a while now. and i don't know when she'll be back."

just then, a maid was rushing to the two red-haired males, followed by an elderly woman akashi could recognize even from afar.

it was her mother. his mother-in-law.

the male head of the kaname household has long passed, and the rest of their family have families of their own.

well, maybe except for y/n. her family's status has become quite complicated; and akashi finally admitted to his self, it was his fault.

"seijuro-kun? well, it took you a long while," mrs. kaname said spitefully, with as much venom as her voice could get. akashi knew not to mess nor look down at this woman whose hair was now graying, lines of age evident on her face.

akashi bowed in greeting, "i apologize, mother."

"enough," she paused, motioning for the maid to get seiji out of the elder akashi's reach, and to lead the child back inside to play.

he could only watch, though he was quite confused of this sudden action. "follow me." mrs. kaname ordered, and they both arrived at a veranda, overlooking the backyard where his son was playing basketball.

he let the elderly woman sit first, before him, and when it was not that awkward, akashi began to speak. "is… she home?"

"what if i told you, that she's not? that she's now happy in another man's arms?"

akashi clenched his jaw at the thought of y/n, her refreshing laugh and calming smile, the touch of her soft lips on another man's; how did he put it, he was mad, he was jealous, he… was hurt.

mrs. kaname looked at him skeptically, and could see through his efforts of hiding his feelings.

"though that's not exactly the way she felt when you did that to her, at least, you've had a fair share of your own medicine."

then it struck the emperor. he remained silent, still, and his wife's mother continued.

"if she were here, she would've gotten mad at me for doing that to you."

akashi and mrs. kaname's eyes met.

"however, she's not going to be around to do that anymore."

the redhead saw the pain, the held back tears of the elderly woman.

what? what did she just say?

"mother…? i'm sorry, but… what?"

mrs. kaname took a deep breath, then smiled a sad smile as she explained.

"she ‘s gone; you don't know how much it hurt to just watch her suffer, waiting for you all this time! she wanted to just end everything, but seiji was her only thread of hope. but still… in the end she,"

"…couldn't hold on and wait much longer."

akashi was having a hard time to process all that in an instant. however, he felt his hand reach for the chess piece he hid in his pocket. and he gripped on it, hard, as if letting go of it would have made him lose his grip on life.

he was too deep into his thoughts that he didn't notice mrs. kaname stand up, and retrieve something from inside the house. a few minutes later, she returned, but akashi was just staring straight ahead, frozen in place.

whatever the thing was, mrs. kaname slid it over the table to her late daughter's husband. "here,"

it was a small photo album. on top of it was a crumpled up paper that had y/n's handwriting.

"that was the last favor she asked of me. apparently, she knew… she felt, that, her hopes were slipping away. her heart gave up."

akashi's eyes went down to observe the album but his hands refused to leave his lap.

"as what she wrote there, she told me that if ever you visit, i should give that to you, so you'd know and you'd see the things you missed when your son was growing."

mrs. kaname stared at him for a while, and decided, to stand up and leave him alone, giving him the privacy he should have, since that album's contents were for him and his eyes only. she figured it wasn't part of her right to take a peek.

akashi brought out the chess piece and placed it before him before he hesitantly took the photo album. the glass queen reflected the sun's light, making it shimmer in the background as the redheaded man began to flip through the album's pages slowly.

seiji and y/n in a theme park, a picture taken by seiji himself with y/n staring ahead at the sunset by the beach, seiji making a three-point shot in their garden, seiji playing with his own team of friends, y/n having icing on her nose when she and her son baked together, and lots, lots more.

but then, it seems the album wasn't filled to its pages. and akashi wanted to see more, until he reached the final page and his mouth went open in the slightest.

akashi stared at the image of himself, his smiling self, in the wedding picture; and the emperor reminisced.

the way y/n became his wife that day, her eyes sparkling in delight, her face glowing despite being underneath the veil she wore, her soft lips on his when they kissed; everything was perfect.

until things began to fall apart.

the akashi business was about to face bankruptcy, due to an inside-job by one of his employees—how he didn't even see that, akashi couldn't find out why—and stockholders and investors began to pull out one by one.

because of that, it triggered the real akashi to go into hiding. all the stress, the pressure, the fear—building up in his heart.

his single, golden yellow eye began to diminish, the same time tears began to form in his pair of red eyes.

and now, the real akashi was back.

he took out the wedding picture from the album, and was surprised to see another paper, however this one was neat and organized, meant to be hidden and be discovered by him and him only.

akashi began unfolding it, and read y/n's letter, and he could hear her voice in his head as he did so.

'dearest sei,

thank you for visiting our son after all this time. i tried to forget about us, about you; but believe me, even though i'm no longer by your side anymore, that i love you. i always have, i always will. remember that i'll be here, to support you two—the two amazing men in my life.

from now on, i leave ji-kun in your hands. my mom promised me she would help and guide the both of you.

seijuro, i love you. i love you. thank you.

i love you.

good bye.'

the veranda had a roof, akashi was sure of that, he took note of that.

and it was supposed to be sunny.

then, why was there rain? the letter began to have droplets of water.

when the redheaded man felt something wet trickling down his face, he realized that it was of his own doing. not just about that, but about everything.

immediately, akashi asked where his wife lied in eternal sleep.

he took the time to buy a huge bouquet of her favorite flowers, and he crouched before the gravestone, feeling the weight of her letter in his pocket.

akashi took a deep breath, brought out a black king chess piece and the glass queen one. he placed them, lying down beside each other and pressed down, as if trying to bury them together; but not too deep, just enough for the two pieces to stay there for sure.

"…checkmate, huh?" he sighed, and proceeded to sitting, leaning slightly on the gravestone. "it happened to be that way, because i cheated?"

akashi grit his teeth in a mix of different emotions. he gasped, feeling the pain in his heart.

akashi seijuro cried.

"i'm… sorry; i'm so sorry…"

he closed his eyes, making more tears run down his face. he hated it, that it had to end this way. he regretted his words, his actions, his choice of wallowing in fear when she was there—to help and support him—always, no matter what. the redhead gasped for breath, and he spoke with his voice that could barely be heard.

"i never… realized it… i never realized how much you loved me…. and how much i wasted that love…"

he sobbed in silence, and a gust of wind blew... he felt that you were there, smiling and crying at the same time, as you hugged him. akashi didn't really see you, but then you vanished with the wind; finally feeling your soul at peace.

#kuroko no basuke #kuroko's basketball #kuroko no basuke scenario #kuroko's basketball scenario #kuroko no basuke angst #akashi seijuro #akashi seijuro x reader #akashi seijuro angst #akashi angst #kiseki no sedai #generation of miracles #kiseki no sedai angst #generation of miracles angst #generation of miracles scenario #kiseki no sedai scenario

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life-rewritten · 4 years

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Saying Goodbye to Flower of Evil

So it's finally here, time to say goodbye to my favourite kdrama so far of 2020. This is my post to say goodbye and also go back on all the positives and negatives of the show. It's been a long, beautiful and heartfelt journey. This show means a lot to me, and I had so much fun analysing it, every single week. Let’s start the review:

Ratings: Plot: 8.5/10 Directing: 8.5/10 Acting: 8.5/10 Satisfaction: 8/10 Overall: A Rewatch factor: 7/10

Opinions and Criticisms

What can I say about this show that hasn't already been mentioned and discussed? What an amazing show. At the end of it all, Flower of Evil is a love story to the core, it focuses on the marriage between our main characters, and we the audience end up invested in watching the layers and truth of the marriage unfold, the psychological circumstances and the external circumstances that lead us to the factors that will end up either breaking the marriage into pieces or end up bringing an opportunity for healing and unconditional love.

Characterisation

This show in my opinion subverted character tropes, in the first episode we're left feeling confused about who to root for; Do Hyun So starts of a scary personality but we start to see him break down and we understand that we didn't have all the information about him. In the first episode we feel the exact worry and fear Ji Won also ends up feeling as she slowly uncovers her husband is not who he claims to be. But we also like her start to look deeper for clues to help find the real truth about the psyche of Hyun So.

We're introduced to characters at the beginning such as Moo Jin (very ableist at first, and problematic) only to see him become 3D and learn from his mistakes and show care for Hyun So and his ex love Hae So. Like with him, we also feel weary about every character when they first appear, even Hae Su who we even feel led to believe is the mystery serial killer accomplice at the start ends up being a character broken, we see how it actually affected her mind and patterns as the guilt ate her up for what happened to her brother. These are just a few of the characters the audience grapple to understand and start of mistrusting.

Subverting Expectations

The tropes are subverted because this is a thriller, expectations are thrown out the window and changed, when one of our main cops find out about Hyun So's real identity (the show built this up so well since we know from the beginning that he's curious and very intuitive with cases), we expect him to take in Hyun So and be prejudiced,. It’s a surprise to see he's not , he listens and understands that Hyun So isn't what everyone thinks he is. The other cops do the same as well when Ji Won is 'held hostage' by Hyun So. They don't blame her immediately as an accomplice and only worry about her safety. The cops end up becoming like a found family, the warmth, loyalty and trust with everyone including the chief was shocking to see, and yet the show made us hang on edge for a while to see these characters stories unfold. Yes they're more 2dimensional than 3D but they are important to the story and end up being characters we love and enjoy on screen.

I don't have anything bad to say about this show, I even enjoyed the reveal of the villain, Baek Hee Sung, his storyline whilst seemingly making him a very straight forward psychopath, the subtext of the show suggested even more dimensionality and depth to understanding his family's psyche, circumstances and reasonings for why they aided him. He's also a brilliant foil to Do Hyun So who was using his identity without knowing he's the real accomplice we were waiting for. The actors do such a good job in this show, the main couple have great emotional ranges needed to carry the painful, hurtful, alarming scenes. Props to my two favorites, Lee Joon Gi as Do Hyun So was such a perfect casting choice for this show and Kim Ji Hoon as a villain was so delicious to watch, he made me scream and squeal a couple of times. Both so addicting and entrancing to watch on screen.

Lacklustre writing for Females

Eunha

As much as I am satisfied with the ending I do feel there are parts that a bit lack luster. The use of the daughter in the story of Do Hyun So regaining his memories and choosing to accept Ji Won yet again could have been used more, in fact I thought she was going to run away or do something defiant causing Hyun So to panic and realise he does have feelings and care. (I thought that was what they were building up to when they showed the food in the fridge he kept buying for her without knowing why) But she's pushed to the side, and almost forgotten about until we get a reunion. Eun Ha was such an interesting character to look into and I would have loved more depth and use in the storyline especially when she's connected the most to the humanity of Hyun So. Instead we got the diary scene and the title of the metal workshop being connected to Ji Won and his love for her all along. Don't get me wrong the romance was the basis of the show, so it makes sense we end with it being the most focused part on the conclusion of the show, I just wanted more Eunha.

Do Hae Su

As much as I enjoyed the characters in the show, I felt the female characters apart from Cha Ji Won were written to be very stupid, emotional or just an obstacle to their male counterparts. This irked me for a while, Hae Su's best part is when she sacrifices her life for Hyun So but before that she acts rashly and keeps on doing things that no one wants her to, I almost face palmed when she went straight to the director after finding out someone in his hospital is the accomplice. Like it's not hard to put two and two together. I enjoyed her as a character but did feel like she was underused more than her male counterpart Moo Jin. I'm glad we get her resolution and she survived

Director’s wife/ Unmother

The director's wife/Baek Hee Sung mother shows potential of being a character with depth and aims, but she also becomes sidelined once her son wakes up, her struggles in her psyche for her new fake son and grand daughter vs her guilt of hurting her real son, was a really good dynamic to explore, but she ends up becoming weak and panicking and being taught by both her male counterparts her son and husband. She just ends up being in the background and seen as the less smart, cunning and clever one compared to them. Didn't really like that, I thought she would be part of the downfall of our villain but she just ends up wasted instead.

The maid of the Baek’s

Don't get me started about her maid, another female character who is fridged on the show, I thought she was written so stupid towards the end for the convenience of the plot, and I hated that she reacted the way she did knowing the truth she knew. Her outburst and blackmail tactics just felt so out of the blue, it annoyed me to no end. I wish she had a reason that was hinted throughout the show, quotes or scenes that hinted she would betray them for money, more depth shown with her relationship with her and the wife, but no she just reacted out of bounds and got murdered. It was just a bit blase.

However I'm not saying this show did not also have powerful women characters, well character, Ji Won was smart, cunning and I enjoyed watching her actions after she discovered who her husband was. But for me I would have preferred more females written the same way she was that's all.

The final moments

I did enjoy the message of the show, especially when looking at what made our characters become/ turn into percieved psychopaths, the connection of Do Min Seok with both Baek Hee Sung and Do Hyun So was interesting to look at, and the way the world treated Hyun So because of his disorder was also painful but written well in the show. One of my favorite scenes in this show, is episode 15, (i wished the show's ending was episode 15, it would have left a haunting effect on the audience but i like happy endings too), when Hyun So proclaims he sees dead people so he can't believe Ji Won is alive. It was a brilliant build up as the ghost of Do Min Seok had been all along a foreshadowing device for this moment, immediately he said that it shocked me and made me realise what the writers planned all along. It was always right there in front of us that this will be an issue, and they used it so well for episode 15. One of my favourite moments so far in kdramas of 2020.

The message of the show is simple don't judge someone based on their mental disorder, they're just like everyone else if given the right opportunity to feel, and be treated like normal people.

Analysis and Devices used

Onto the devices used for analysing this show:

The themes

I enjoyed the topic of Psychopathy, Trauma and Mental Health that was relayed through out the show, what makes a psychopath a psychopath nature vs nurture. I enjoyed how each character's needs and wants is revealed to us subverting tropes and keeping the audience questioning the reasonings and truths of each of them.

The parallels

I also liked the directing parallels when they show both Hyun So and Cha Ji Won doing different things but it connected to the actual plot/storyline of the show for example him uncovering who his dad worked with to get raw materials, and she also uncovering a fake employment scheme with the someone connected to the same person who Hyun So is meeting. They do this all the time, and it's a great way to make the audience feel on edge and worried that soon both her and Hyun So's path will have to meet and she will have to confront him on the truth of their marriage.

The Foreshadowing

There's heavy use of symbolic foreshadowing, dramatic irony and withholding of information all used to keep the audience on their toes with bated breaths. The genre was part thriller, so each cliff hanger was deviced well enough to show case some realisations (some painful and horrifying) and also used to make the audience go back on their own expectations and wait to see the story unfold. At first the show starts of like a murder detective show, and I liked how each of the murderers/crimes were connected to unveiling the truth about Hyun So and his father.

Some foreshadowing devices I enjoyed is when Ji Won's identity card gets smashed and handed to Hae Su, at first we don't understand why there was such a scene but it uncovers and we find the horrifying conclusion that Hae Su will get stabbed because the killer misunderstands her to be Ji Won. Each of the devices used end up coming full circle in the plot to keep the audience on edge or hurt and broken at the realisation of what it meant. I look foward to watching another show with this writer and director again.

In Conclusion

This Kdrama surpassed my expectations and even beat my predecessor Psycho but it's okay as my favourite shows. While I did have some issues with parts of it, even with those issues I was left emotionally invested in this show, the characters, the story unfolding. I enjoyed every little thing in this show, I ended up being so effected I cried many times. As a writer, it taught me how to write a good love story, a couple against the world, and how to keep an audience invested.

#flower of evil #kdrama #lee joon gi #analysis #wrpup

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chimswae · 4 years

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BTS Caretaker CH22

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 4, 225

- Author Note: I have been busy working from home :< apparently third wave of virus really hit us hard here, stay safe everyone xx

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Chapter 22

“What should I wear” Seul rummaged through her closet finding a perfect outfit for her to wear to this so-called date with Yoong. “First of all, why should I pay attention on my outfit? It is just Min Yoongi. Doesn’t mean he is going to show up” she plopped on her bed with sour face.

“It couldn’t be a prank, right? Is he planning to embarrass me?” Seul talked to herself letting out a dramatic gasp in process.

“So, you have a date with Yoongi” her mother voice spooked her a little, causing her to sit up immediately. Mrs Hwang was leaning against the door with a teasing smile on her face. She made her way inside taking a seat beside her daughter “When is the date?” Seul turned crimson red.

“It is not like what you think. He asked me to accompany him to do this stupid bungee jumping” she scowled in annoyance “And it is random” Mrs Hwang gave her hand a soft pat. “Once in a while I’m glad you are living the life like a normal girl at your age” her mother smiled affectionately.

“Living the life like a normal girl at my age, yes. But not with Yoongi” she sassed earning a soft chuckle from the older woman. Seul’s eyes scanned the clothes scattered on her bed trying to spot the best outfit to wear, but it failed her again. Groaning in frustration, she turned to face Mrs Hwang “If I wear this white blouse and skirt, I am not overdressing myself, right?” chewing her lower lips, Seul hoped her mother could be a great help.

As Mrs Hwang soothed the soft fabric, she shot her daughter a bewildered look “Who wears skirt to bungee jumping? You got to be kidding me Seul” realizing her mistake, Seul slapped her forehead scolding her short-minded thinking. Why was she acted all silly today? Was it because of Yoongi? Not this issue again, she had enough.

The older woman pulled out blue skinny jeans underneath piles of clothes and handed it to Seul “Wear this with that blouse you picked earlier, don’t forget to bring your jacket. It is still cold outside” beaming cheerfully, her heavy breathing normalizes. She had no idea choosing an outfit to go out with Yoongi would be this hard, alright maybe she’s the one who complicate things.

“Mind to tell me, what happen between you and the boys? To be exact, Yoongi. You two seem friendly” her expression was unreadable, not even Seul could read what’s on her mind.

“Nothing much, we become friends. The boys are friendly and relatable. I like having them as my friend. As for Yoongi and I, do not have any weird idea because we both are just frenemy? We are not even friend or that is what I thought” her confident level deflated at the thought of Yoongi.

Mrs Hwang eyed her girl with a disapproval look. She was sure there’s more of the story that Seul tried to hide from her. This girl had been showing her resentment towards Yoongi since day one making it appeared suspicious to her.

“Mom, don’t you think Yoongi is a complicated man?” the question had been playing in her head for quite some time, it was matter of time to express it aloud.

“He is a complicated man. But he has the softest heart of all. Seul, Yoongi-ah has been going through a lot of thing in his life. Are you aware that he had depression before?” Seul’s eyes widened in pure shock. It never occurred to her a rough man like Yoongi would have that kind of illness because from her eyes, Yoongi has the strongest character in comparison to others.

“How is it possible? He looks fine to me..I mean…from the way he acted around me, he looks quite strong” she murmured.

Mrs Hwang shook her head “He appears to be strong, but he is a broken young man inside. He too has insecurity. Never trust what they show to you. It is how they mask themselves. What I am trying to say, try to see the other side of them instead of judging how they acted around you. Those boys are still kids to me. Poor kids to experience such thing at this age” she sighed deeply.

Seul forced herself to smile yet it came out bland “It must be hard to live their life as celebrity” she empathized them.

“It is not easy. The only reason why I insist on preparing meals for them because out of all things happen in their life only that makes them feel normal. They work hard all day, shielding their pain and tiredness from the world to chase their dreams. Those boys deserve to be treated like some normal boys, who crave for normal life” her mother’s words got Seul to reflect her attitude towards them back then. She felt small and disgusted of herself. How could she be selfless and refuse to see other point of view? She is not the only one with issues and problems, there are other people outside have awful fate as compared to her.

Her mother stroked the top of her hand and flashed a motherly smile “Do not be too hard on them and yourself. Serious relationship can wait, as for now focus on what makes you happy. Don’t feel burdened by it” her eyes were brimming with tears now. Mrs Hwang could read her like an open book without she needed to tell her everything that had been haunting her these days.

“Aw, why are you crying?” she cupped Seul cheeks, stroking away the tears that started to stream down wetting her cheeks. Seul chuckled softly “Thank you, mom. You are the best” pulling the love of her heart into a tight embrace.

Will it be harmful to follow the flow of life?

What if someone gets hurt in the end?

What if she needs to make a choice?

Seul shuddered at the though of making a choice when she was not sure of her own feelings.

Bad move, Ji Seul.

------------------

Tapping her feet anxiously, Seul was getting annoyed of waiting. The more she anticipated Yoongi’s face to appear before her, the slower the time moved. It was 5PM and he was nowhere to be seen. Not even a text from him, Yoongi stood her up for sure. She shouldn’t have trusted that guy. Grumpy Seul decided to leave the scene before she made fool of herself. Hugging her jacket close to her body to seek warmth, she stood up from where she sat and left the area.

Sound of heavy footsteps behind her along with faint hollered put her steps at halt. Turning her heels to the source of the voice, she was greeted by the image of Yoongi sprinting for his life towards her direction. Eyeing the guy carefully, Seul grew concern “Yoongi are you alright?” he held his palm out while panting heavily.

The weather was cold, yet she could see bead of sweats on his forehead that started to trickle down his milky skin. She felt guilty. Judging from the way he dressed, he did not even bother to put his black mask over his mouth. Thankfully, his signature bucket hat was enough to cover half of his small face.

“Lets sit down, you look dead” she reached out to touch his arm, leading him to the bench nearby. Yoongi leaned back in his seat, steadying his rapid breathing. His heart was about to jump out soon. Seul on the side couldn’t stop worrying over Yoongi condition, she feared the guy might pass out there by any second now.

She used the end of her jacket to wipe off the sweat on his face gently. The small gesture flustered Yoongi but a soft smile was evident on his face as he enjoyed this little attention that he got. “Calm down your breathing, you will be fine in few minutes” she whispered.

Yoongi took the chance to watch how she puffed her cheeks in and out while dabbing the sweats on his face dried. Even to this extent, Seul knew how to shake the deepest core of his heart. How ironic for someone who’s madly in love. Was he in love?

Inhaling a deep breath, Yoongi held her hand down while smiling softly “Thank you Seul. I am fine now. Sorry, for making you wait” he muttered.

“I thought you stood me up. I was about to leave” she grimaced. Not that it was something to be upset of, but she was freezing. Today’s weather was not helping her either. Yoongi chuckled upon his eyes landed on her Rudolph nose, and gently rubbed it with thumb. Her heart pounded madly at this slight touch, causing her to pull away slowly giving a little space for her to normalize her breathing.

Yoongi softened “I won’t do that because it is a date after all” he winked. She cleared her throat allowing the redness engulfing her cheeks. Seul would never get used to Yoongi sudden change of attitude around her and some more to see Yoongi in different perspective was hard for her. It came to her realization, this softened her as she learnt to accept Yoongi’s rough side. She no longer had negative thoughts on Yoongi well unless he annoyed the hell out of her.

“Are you ready, lets go?” without giving her time to digest, Yoongi had already dragged the clueless girl to the counter. After flashing their admission ticket, one of the workers led the couple to elevator, making their way up to the 24th floor. Her mind started to get dizzy just by hearing the numbers. Just, how tall it would be? She rubbed her sweaty palms against her jeans.

“Yoongi, I am here just to watch you jump right?” she gulped showing off her fear. Yoongi looked at her in disbelief, his forehead creased into a frown “No way, I am dragging you down with me” she shrieked.

“WHAT? NO NO GET ME DOWN NOW. I AM NOT GOING TO JUMP WITH YOU” she started to panic.

Yoongi laughed “I don’t know you are a scaredy-cat” Seul let out a low disapproval scowl, glaring her way to playful Yoongi. “I value my life, so I am not going to jump especially with you. Hell no. You are going to cut off my wire and let me die!”

“That sounds like a good idea. Plotting your murder sounds easier than I thought” he fired back with playful smirk on his face.

“I KNEW IT! You are planning to kill me since start” she hissed. Bemused, Yoongi swayed his body to face pale Seul, like a reflex she pressed her back against the elevator “Wait, wait. Don’t come close. I know what you have in your mind” she squeaked.

Clicking tongue inside his mouth, he trapped her between his body, tilting his head with an amused look, “You can lean on me. You will be fine” he whispered dangerously close to her ears. Seul felt extremely high right now. Yoongi quickly pulled away when he heard the ding sound opening the door not long after. Seul walked after her with flushed face, as her mind diligently spout curses after curses.

The staffs greeted them warmly assisting the couple to get ready with the safety gears before their jump. Seul kept on pestering Yoongi about not wanting to jump with him but to her dismay, the stubborn guy won’t budge and pretended like her cries never existed. He insisted of bringing Seul down with him which was sounded absurd to her.

What was his motive?

Yoongi walked over to Seul as he noticed how she appeared scared and panic, making it hard for the staff to put on the safety gears on her. He motioned the staff to let him take over the task which he gladly complied. The staff left not long after giving the space for the couple. Her gaze who at first diligently scanned the area seeking for some sort of strength were now on Yoongi. His hand found its way to her waist, clasping the gear near her torso. The closeness of their body was killing her heart instantly.

“Relax Seul. It will be fun and as soon as you open your eyes, you will realize it is already over” fiddling with the clasp on the other side of her waist, he whispered. “It is never too late to back off now” he exclaimed.

“You should have said that sooner!” she gasped in delight. Yoongi rolled his eyes at her response knowing how unpredictable this girl could be, what did he expect from her again.

She is Ji Seul for pete’s sake.

Yoongi shot her disapproval look upon seeing Seul showing her agreement on his words “So, you are planning to waste my money and just watch me jump?” he teased her in hope this stubborn girl would find even the slightest guilt in her heart. Which appeared to be none.

“I didn’t ask you to spend your money on me. In fact, who brings a girl to bungee jumping on their date!” he heard her protest as her lips was tugged into a small pout. He’s going crazy over Seul, everything that she did was either too cute or sexy to him. Insane.

He snickered “You consider this as a date then?” she found herself being cornered. As much as she felt like smacking the sense out of Yoongi, she was trying to contain her annoyance and anger at once. If an only she could smack Yoongi hard. She would gladly do that.

“That is not the point. The point here is no one brings their date to a 24-floor building to do free jump. THAT IS NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL”

“Missy, it is not a free jump it calls bungee jumping for a reason. I have no idea that you want to do romantic thing with me, I will schedule our second date as soon as possible” he sneered sarcastically.

“Whoa hold on! No more dates with you! Your definition of romantic would involve scary thing like this one” she knocked Yoongi’s head over his helmet causing him to groan in frustration. Did her nasty remarks weren’t enough now she’s using her fist to harass him? Great, he had to put up with her weird antic, again.

Yoongi put on the small helmet over her head, squishing her face just to annoy her “That is up for me to decide, now let’s get ready. We are going to do the free jump” he gave her cheeks last squish, pulling the girl with him to the platform.

She could feel rush of fear in her blood stream, as she gulped upon her feet landed on the platform. Her grips on Yoongi’s arm tightened as soon as she saw the dizzying image beneath her feet. Seul felt like bursting into tears right now, and Yoongi sense the girl trembling hand.

“Are you ready?” one of the staffs stood at the edge gave them an encouraging smile.

Seul took a small peek at the image underneath her again, and quickly hid her face in Yoongi’s soft arm. “Yoongs…I don’t think I can do it” her inaudible mutter was crystal clear in his ears. He softened and told the staff to give them a moment. Yoongi released his hand from her strong grip and cradled her head in his hand “Do you trust me?” his sugary smile melted her heart. Her fear earlier on starts to subside, even though she was not confident whether she could handle the aftermath of the jump.

“If anything, happen you will be responsible. But what if you let go my hand” she blinked her tears away. Seul’s biggest fears were height and she had never been good in coping with it. Yoongi awed at her change of attitude in contrast to Seul sassy and fierce side, she could be a baby sometimes.

He encircled his arm around her body, embracing her tight “I will not let your hand go, trust me alright? Let’s do this” he stroked her waist. Yoongi slid his hand underneath her thigh, lifting her up causing the girl to squeal.

“MIN YOONGI WHAT ARE YOU DOING!” her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck in reflex.

“So, I won’t let your hand go?” he said with a cheeky smile showing of his gum.

“This is your plan?”

“Yes”

“Let me down. It is even scarier this way. I am like one floor higher!”

“Just hold me tight Seul. Stop complaining!”

“How can i-YOONGS YAH-“ she screamed loudly when he purposely dangled one of his legs of the platform. Seul could feel his body wobbled to regain balance making the girl to clutch onto his back shirt tighter.

“I fucking hate you” she spouted some vulgar words out of annoyance.

Yoongi let out a low chuckle “Language, Seul” he signalled the staff that they were ready to jump, “Ready your heart, this is going to be the best jump!” he whispered softly. Her nervousness doubled as soon as she felt he moved slightly closer to the edge of the platform.

“Oh my god, this is bad idea. You are dead meat min yoongi” she buried her face in his shoulder, biting it slightly to ease her nervousness. It came out really naturally not that she wanted to flirt him in the middle of their life or death.

With a last smile, Yoongi pushed his body completely off the platform while holding onto Seul closed to him “OH GOD” she squeaked upon the cold breeze hit her already freezing skin. Yoongi pushed her upwards a little causing the latter to squeal fixing her position so she was more comfortable.

Both of them bounced a little following the tightness of the wire, a wide grin never left his face since then. He had fun holding onto Seul in his arms. The happiness that he never felt before.

When she opened her eyes, she found Yoongi was staring into her dark orbs. Confusing as it sounded, Yoongi was using his eyes to communicate. Ugh, only if she could decode it. His gummy smile was back on his face “I told you it would be fun and I won’t let you go” he leaned closer, however Seul buried her face at the crook of his neck shyly.

Why was she feeling embarrass and affected by this?

Biting his lower lips, Yoongi stroked her back as they waited until they descended safely on the ground. He set her down as soon as they feet landed on ground. He helped Seul to take of her safety gears, and she thanked him, avoiding his gaze at all time. Yoongi liked to see her shy side, for some reason he looked calmer than her fierce side.

The couple bowed politely as gratitude before leaving the site with mixed feelings inside. Seul and Yoongi walked side by side in total silence. They seemed to enjoy the cold breeze and the empty street. It was calming this way. To her distaste, her belly gurgled loudly as she patted it to quell its sound from being heard.

His brows quirked in amusement “Someone is hungry. Let’s find something to fill that empty tummy” Seul looked down embarrass with her own weird antic. Out of all day, her stomach acted weird only to throw shades on her face.

“Any idea where to eat?” his lips were pressed into thin in a deep thought.

“Fish cake and ramen?” she suggested.

It was his turn to protest “Who eats those on a date?” he scoffed.

“You consider this a date?” she teased.

“Yes I am. Unlike that someone” his response made her pout slightly.

“Killing yourself is not a good date!” she disagreed.

“But you survive. Thanks to me” Yoongi intertwined his hand with hers before she could say something nasty again. “Let’s get your fish cake and ramen” Seul swore to god, one day she would definitely straggle this man for dragging her around without her consent.

The couple ended up walking further along the river, and Yoongi’s handsome face alight with merriment as his eyes fall upon the small convenience store. Coincidently, just beside the store there was a small stall selling their hot fish cake. They entered the store selecting their favourite ramen, and Seul insisted on paying the food considering Yoongi had spent his money on the force free jump. Even though he never agreed on it yet who could stop Seul?

Exiting the store, Seul set her ramen on the table “You take a seat, I will purchase the Eomuk!” she exclaimed in excitement. Reluctant, Yoongi sat down watching the girl swaying her body happily purchasing her favourite food.

“Aigoo, young lady. Why are you out in this weather without extra jacket?” the old lady shook her head showing her concern. Seul rubbed the back of her neck with a sheepish smile “I was in rush, so I forgot to bring extra sweater with me. Don’t worry, I am fine” the old lady handed her the fish cake in a cup.

“Are you on a date?” her eyes travelled to Yoongi as the corner of her lips was tugged into a meaningful smile.

Seul smiled nervously “He is a friend of mine. It is not like that”

“You two make a great couple. Be happy” she thanked the old lady and made her way to Yoongi. She sat across him, placing their food on the table “What took you so long? Did the ahjumma know me?” he asked with curiosity.

She cringed “Why would she? You are just Min Yoongi” “BTS Suga” he corrected.

“Yes, bratty BTS MIN SUGA” she rolled her eyes. Seul ignored the guy in front of him and started to dig in. Ramen and fishcake are the best combination for this cold weather. At least her empty stomach now was well fed. Occasionally, she would steal a glance at Yoongi. He was struggling with his food as it appeared to be too hot, yet he insisted on pushing the noodles inside his mouth.

Their humble dinner was quiet and calm without their endless banter. For once, Yoongi and Seul could sit together in one place without throwing shades on each other. That was a huge improvement.

“Can I ask you something?” Yoongi put down his chopstick, resting chin on his palm. It made him even cuter than he already is. Seul tried to focus and stopped herself from ogling the man in front of her.

“Go on”

“This is quite personal though” she gave him an assuring nod letting him to continue. After the talk that she had with her mother this morning, she was determined to change her attitude and treated Yoongi better if he didn’t pick any fight with her.

He gulped the heavy lump on his throat “Do you like Jungkook and Jimin?” he questioned. The questions were rather unclear to her, yet Yoongi was dead curious of this. The mere thought of it made it hard for him to fall asleep.

“Of course, I like them. They are kind and friendly”

“You do realize they like you more than just a friend, right?” Seul froze at his question. Not this again, she thought no one would question her this after that night. “I know Yoongi. They told everyone about it” her palms started to get sweaty again. She disliked this intensity.

“Have you given it a thought? Whether you are going to accept them or reject them?”

“I can’t sort my feelings right now. Everything happens so fast. I never thought of this to happen even, so I am sorry if I appear selfless. However, I have made it clear to both of them that i don’t have the answers with me. I can’t stop someone to fall in love. Love is too subjective. What I know now, I am giving them a chance. A chance for them and for me to discover my feelings further” sighing deeply, Seul looked disturbed.

Yoongi gazed at her face longingly “You are reconsidering their feelings?” she nodded in response. He ran his hand along his neck, giving it a little massage as he continued “There is still a room for someone in your heart, am I right?” she threw a weird glance at his way.

“Of course. I haven’t made up my mind, it is still available. Now, why are you asking me this?” she examined his expression with so much interest.

“Just wondering if I have the chance. Seems like I do have the chance” he muffled.

“Excuse me?” her eyes rounded staring at him blankly.

Realizing his foul mouth had said something that he was not supposed to, Yoongi arose from his seat “Lets head back! I must get to the studio in an hour. I will walk you back” he started walking away leaving dumbfounded Seul in her seat.

“YAH!” she strutted behind him following the guy quietly. I swear I heard him said something about him having a chance. Was it just me? Seul moaned mentally not liking this game that he played with her.

Don’t be weak now Yoongi. This is not right. Yoongi mentally scolded himself.

#btscaretaker #bts fluff #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts romance #yoongi x oc #jungkook x oc #yoongi fiic #jungkook fic #yoongi fluff #jungkook romance #jeon jungkook x oc #Suga x Oc #bts fanfiction #btsfic #suga fanfic

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threelivesthreeworlds · 4 years

Text

@mcheang said : First off, I wouldn’t say Jiheng was abandoned by the demon clan so much as she abandoned them when she left them to pick up the pieces of the botched wedding. She knew she would be exiled and chose to run away anyway. Second, it was never really stated that Dong Hua would stop visiting her after he was married. He would still have to check on the poisoned daughter of his trusted general and make sure she survived.

The admins always think of a few quotes to go in each essay as textual evidence, and admittedly with these next few quotes the previous essay would’ve likely been more complete - we just don’t want to overload our audience with paragraphs and paragraphs of text. So, let’s consider this the Ji Heng Essay, Pt. 2, feat. some Interesting Narrative Foils / Parallels, because I think we don’t actively recognize how similar Ji Heng can be to our leads, and I think sometimes we have to directly look at that and to look within ourselves to figure out why we let our favorite characters off, but we go hard on Ji Heng forever. You’ll have to bear with me - this carries a lot of extra analysis of the text per point addressed, but I believe a somewhat more thorough exploration is required.

TW SUICIDE MENTION, TW DUB CON MENTION, TW GASLIGHTING, for mention of certain canon events, proceed with caution

TO THE FIRST POINT, we have to address, in further detail, what happened after Ji Heng ran away from the wedding. When Xiao Yan tells Feng Jiu about the story Ji Heng told him of what’s happened since they went their separate ways, he does say that she stayed away from the demon clan of her own accord:

Feng Jiu massaged her shoulder, and looked a touch confused: "What does that have to do with Princess JI Heng?"

Xiao Yan was even more confused. "Did I never tell you, that when Ji Heng ran away with that little guard Minsu, they eloped to Fanyin Valley?" He scratched his scalp, the face as beautiful as autumn flowers under the moon touched with a tint of red: "Actually, I only found out half a year ago. All this time, Ji Heng's true love Minsu was a girl who was dressed as a man, and she liked her brother. After she figured that out, Ji Heng couldn't deal with the shock and fought with Minsu, and they separated, but she felt that she was too embarrassed to return to the demon clan, and so she stayed in Fanyin Valley to be the court musician."

However - later, at the end of the book when Chonglin goes to ask the Red Demon Clan about Ji Heng and where she is, he gets this answer:

When Chonglin went to meet with the Red Demon Clan, Lord Xuyang said that after the incident three hundred years ago when his sister ran away with Minsu, the Red Demon Clan had already banished her, and Ji Heng had no contact with the Red Demon Clan since then. Their clan could not tell where she was now.

If anything, then, I think it would be considered a mutual abandonment. For, drastically different reasons, I might add. Ji Heng’s reasons for staying away from home appear to be pride - that she ran away with someone who ended up not being in love with her, who ended up to be lying to her this whole time. That she’s become “pitiful,” because she didn’t follow through on the marriage her brother arranged for her even if she didn’t want it, and now she’s unhappy. Put yourself in her shoes for a minute - and because Admin Ro is both Asian the queen of analogies, imagine that you’ve decided against everyone’s wishes in your family that you were going to be an actor. They all told you you’re going to starve, and, what do you know, they were right. You are in fact out of work and poor. Would you go home, to a chorus of I-told-you-so? To a chorus of people more pleased that they’re right about you than they are willing to support your dream and what you want to do with your life?

Along that vein, her brother’s motivations for banishing her are likely more political. He arranged Ji Heng’s marriage to Donghua because he wanted the political ties to Heavenly Realm. And, in the aftermath of the elopement, in all likelihood he’s trying to disown Ji Heng as fast as possible to avoid it being a reflection on him / his clan, so they don’t get into trouble with either Donghua Dijun (who, by all means should’ve been humiliated by this turn of events) or Jiu Chong Heaven. He does not support his sister’s decision, and in fact, does not want to even be seen supporting his sister’s decision.

Now, food for thought, okay - take a moment and compare that to Feng Jiu, who’s had a very similar narrative. When Feng Jiu goes after someone she loves, going so far as to become a maid, pretend to be a fox, and, basically lose all face for Qingqiu, and he turns out not to have loved her and he turns out to hurt her, what happens? She goes home, to friends and family that do love her. That do support her and have shown support for her, all this time. She has a family who’s waiting for her to go home, who’ll be shields for her, as Zhe Yan says, who she trusts because they’ve always been there for her, over political obligation sometimes. The Bai Family “help their family, not the one that’s in the right.” And let’s take a look at what happens when Feng Jiu runs away from a wedding okay - she blows Cang Yi’s whole palace apart, and yes, she gets punished for this but it’s no more drastic than, likely, being locked in the cave or being spanked. Her family doesn’t disown her because she lost face or because she made a political blunder.

The fact that fandom in general holds these two women to very different standards in this very similar event despite them both being just women who’re trying to run away from a political marriage they don’t want - is concerning. But that fact notwithstanding - from just these two different environments, it’s not hard to see why, in the face of certain decisions, Ji Heng and Feng Jiu make different choices. Now, as a person, I firmly believe no matter what your situation is you make your own choices. So, it’s still on them, as to what choices they make when faced with yet again, a similar situation: not being loved by the person they love. But, with any amount of compassion, you can see, very clearly, why it’s more likely and easier for Ji Heng to make the bad choice. She hasn’t had a particularly large amount of strong relationships in her past, familial or otherwise, that shows her what a good, healthy, strong relationship is like. There is no reference point.

One might argue that Donghua’s just the same, since he has had no real parents and he isn’t close to his foster family. Well, that’s just it - out of this void, where his close relationships are supposed to be, Donghua doesn’t do any better either. In fact, he screws up just as much. Now, I can’t weigh “threatening to kill yourself unless your crush divorces his wife” and “lying to your crush and changing their memories so that they forget everything bad you’ve ever done and sleeping with her using a whole different identity” against each other on a scale of, which is worse. Because they’re both bad, and it’s both toxic in a relationship - but, it seems as though the fandom in general judges them differently as well.

With Donghua, we seem to be more capable of admitting that the things he does are mistakes. We seem to be more capable of saying “it’s because he doesn’t know what he’s doing, it’s because he hasn’t had any experience, it’s because of xyz.” We seem to be capable of understanding that his flaws are flaws, but that Donghua is not a fundamentally evil character and these flaws don’t fundamentally define who he is. We seem to be capable of liking him and forgiving him for his flaws overall. Whereas, with Ji Heng, the general trend I and Admin Lins have seen is to dislike her, even though these two characters screw up the same amount, and, I mean, for similar reasons and to a similar scale.

And while I’m not saying people can’t dislike the characters they dislike - I think we have to to evaluate ourselves and ask ourselves the question - why is it that we are capable of forgiving Donghua for what he does, but we aren’t capable of forgiving Ji Heng? Why is it that we would rather assume that Donghua is a good person and that he isn’t making these decisions because he is bad, but we aren’t capable of the same assumptions for Ji Heng?

One of Donghua’s major flaws is carelessness - and that lead us TO THE SECOND POINT. When Donghua leaves the valley with Feng Jiu, Ji Heng catches up and asks to be taken with them. His response implies that Ji Heng’s condition was not really a concern to him at that moment:

A flash of surprise entered Ji Heng's eyes, but her gaze was full of hope as it directed toward Dijun. Donghua said coolly: "Living in Fanyin Valley will control the Quishui poison. If you live here for three thousand years, the poison will fade away by itself."

And also gives a response that leaves even Feng Jiu saying he’s cold:

Donghua suddenly said: "Your father asked me to take care of you before he feathered...but, I have never liked to care for someone who has designs on me."

Ji Heng's face was suddenly pale, and after a long while, she said sadly: "Yes, I understand."

At the edge of the lake, Feng Jiu stared at the surface of it. Dijun wet a handkerchief and gave it to her. Feng Jiu took it and pressed it to her face for a while, and waited for the cold to sink into her skin, and finally woke up entirely to say: "Thank goodness when I was maid at your palace, you didn't have the chance to know me. If you met me then, you would've said to me what you said to Ji Heng today, right?" And said, tentatively, "You were a little cold, when you said that."

Now, I can’t tell you for sure whether or not Donghua meant exactly to make good on it - but the implications are all there. Telling her the poison is no longer a concern and she should just stay in the Valley while he presumably leaves, and when he talks about her father, doesn’t that sound like a threat? It certainly probably would have, to Ji Heng: “I know you like me, now stop, or I’ll never come back.” That’s what that sounds like. Now, both admins on this blog have anxiety, and, if you look at Ji Heng and how she was literally ready to kill herself at the end of the book, it’s not hard to conjecture that she probably has some mental illness. Piecing that together with what we previously discussed, it’s not hard to infer that she likely has some anxiety surrounding abandonment.

In her mind, that might very well translate to a straightforward, he’s leaving and never coming back. One might say “why doesn’t she just stop liking him then” but that’s an unreasonable thing to expect...honestly, no one can just turn their emotions off like that, we know this, right? We can’t expect that of a person, so we can’t expect that of a character or that character would no longer be authentically human. Furthermore, if you look at the actions Donghua took in the Valley before he and Feng Jiu ever got together, I think you can see where Ji Heng’s mind might take that even more drastically. The second Feng Jiu showed up in the Valley and this coincided with Donghua’s visit, what does Donghua do? He makes her cook for him, he goes to live with her, he straight up puts up a ward to block them both from the rest of the world. He basically declares to the whole world that, “the only thing I care about here is Feng Jiu.”

Bear in mind, he visits Ji Heng every ten years and is the only thing close to a friend she has in the Valley before Xiao Yan shows up. Ji Heng has been cooking for and living with Donghua every ten year interval he has shown up. To be suddenly and quite completely shut out and removed by this person she thought was her friend, that she had feelings for, even if they were only on her part as far as she knew, is hurtful. It’s like Donghua is saying “I like Feng Jiu, and so I don’t care about you or what you do anymore.”

Now, that’s not Feng Jiu’s fault, and it’s not Donghua’s fault. He’s free to do that, of course, and people change and they outgrow each other and they leave. But - to a person who’s been left by a lot of people, doesn’t it make sense for Ji Heng to react drastically? Doesn’t it make sense for her to see that Donghua is getting married to Feng Jiu and further extrapolate from his previous actions that he’s unlikely to visit again? Think of it if it happened to you - if your best / only friend, one that you care about a lot and are extremely invested in, left you because they found a new friend, can you truly say that you wouldn’t harbor a single bitter thought for that new friend? Can you say in those circumstances, every time, you would make the right choice?

IN CONCLUSION, all this, and the previous essay, is not to say that what Ji Heng does throughout the narrative isn’t bad. It is bad, and it is messy, and it does hurt people. These are explanations and not excuses for her behavior. I and Admin Lins will both agree that of the two of us, I am definitely the harder one on Ji Heng. I get my little bursts of rage when I get to certain areas in the novel that, yes, I can’t soothe over even knowing everything that I know. However, I do think - that a part of evaluating reads and the flaws of each character is trying to understand them. I think I have enough faith in Tang Qi that I believe she wouldn’t put a flat antagonist character in a novel to be “evil” for evil’s sake - and therefore, when I go through my read and I see the hints of dimension, I can say, I see it and it’s there.

In the end, sure, it’s about what everyone wants to believe. You can see that evidence and interpret it however you want. That’s how art and subjectivity and reads work - no one read is completely right. No one read is completely objective. If someone looked at all of this and thought “nah, bull, Ji Heng did all of it because she’s just an awful person,” I guess there’s nothing to stop them. But in literature, where every character is a reflection of a living, breathing, relatable person, the admins on this blog are more inclined toward a middle read. That not everyone is completely good and that not everyone is completely bad. That people make bad decisions because of their pasts, because of their circumstances, because of their mental illnesses, but that it does not make them, over all, a bad person forever.

I think if I can extend my compassion to Donghua and Feng Jiu, who have screwed up all over the place throughout this novel, and say, “I understand why you did this, you’re stupid, but I love you anyway” then I can extend that very same compassion to Ji Heng. And I think, if I can say “It’s ok, give them time, they can do better” about the main characters, then Ji Heng also deserves that very same hope. People are flawed. People make mistakes. People can regret it and get better.

#mcheang #eternal love of dream #three lives three worlds the pillow book #ji heng #admin ro posts #((sorry if you were hoping to get admin lins))#((but it's easier for me since I can just translate the text citations directly))#((the admins usually are of the same opinion with slight variations so i hope I did the topic justice))#((haha this got very long))

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tomorrowsdrama · 4 years

Text

Hyena Ep. 6

You know, after last week’s episodes, I was a bit worried we’d never be able to come back from Geum Ja tricking Hee Jae and exploiting his feelings in episode 1. I really felt like the writers had made a mistake trying to do fake lovers to enemies to lovers again. I know for some people it’s probably very hard to get over Geum Ja’s initial deceit/betrayal. I mean, in real life I would tell my friend to stay the hell away from someone like that. It also didn’t help that each time they interacted with each other, it was so harsh and bitter. What romance is there to root for when the two people seem to hate each other so much?

But I think the writers and characters are finally settling into a dynamic that works. At least, it works for me. There is still bitterness, anger, and snippy remarks traded between Hee Jae and Geum Ja. However, we the viewers, and Hee Jae are also starting to learn more about the real Geum Ja. I feel like I am able to connect more emotionally with her when the drama actually shows us a bit of what is underneath Geum Ja’s hard exterior. Before this week, it was just too... How should I say it... I could tell what the writers were trying to go for with her character but I just wasn’t being shown enough to actually believe it. it’s one thing to be told that a character is supposed to be complex and another to actually see the complex layers slowly unfold.

I know, I know, it was only the first 4 episodes, I can’t expect the writers to show all their cards. What can I say, I’m an impatient person! I feel like if I had the option of binging the drama instead of having to wait each week, I’d probably have less complaints.

Anyway, w/re/to the actual episode:

I loved this scene because it’s one of the rare times we see the characters be honest about their relationship. Well, mostly Hee Jae. But I think Geum Ja’s stunned silence was also an honest reaction. I think this is the first time she didn’t have a snarky remark to quip back at Hee Jae. You can tell that she was taken off-guard by not only Hee Jae’s honesty, but also the actual answer. I mean, just a second before this, they were going back and forth at each other like usual. So Hee Jae’s sincere answer really came out of nowhere. And of course, she drew the lines/put up her guard again by telling him to let it go. Can I just say how much I love JJH’s heartbroken face? Ok, ok, I love it and I also don’t at the same time since it only comes out when his character is being tormented. It’s just, JJH’s expression was SO GOOD in that moment after she told him to let go of the past.

Cut for long ramblings and screencaps

LOL I loved the aftermath as they got “caught” being in the supply room together. Sigh, if only they really were making out in there!

I’m glad to see that the writers did not drop the plot line about Hee Jae’s commitment to fitness after episode 1. It’s clear that fitness is very important to Hee Jae, so it’s important to me, too. I hope we continue to see more of this.

Side note: I feel so bad for Kim Hye Soo who has to wear 4+ inch heels just to be in the same frame as Joo Ji Hoon who is around 6′2″. Even with those gigantic heels, she still has to tilt her head back to meet his eyes.

For people who supposedly can’t stand being around each other, they sure get into each other’s faces a lot. If you didn’t know what they were saying, it’d look like they’re about to tear each other’s clothes off and make out.

How intereeesssting that Hee Jae just HAD to squeeze himself right next to Geum Ja when there was so much space on the other end of the couch. It’s as if he can’t stay away from her and will find any excuse to be close.

JJH’s side eyes are just on another level in this drama.

Hee Jae accidentally acts like an actual team member by referring to themselves as “we” and the awkward silence after is hilarious.

Hee Jae turns on some music to distract from the awkward silence and what’s in Geum Ja’s CD player? His favorite violinist’s record left at his favorite track. Geum Ja looks like she wants to die from embarrassment.

She shuts it off immediately and makes an excuse that it was left there from before. She doesn’t sound very convincing, though.

And Hee Jae is loving it all so much. For once, Geum Ja is the one who’s been caught and there’s nothing she can do to deny it. That’s a shit-eating grin if I ever saw one. He is so pleased to learn that she actually liked the violinist. To Hee Jae, this is small proof that Geum Ja was not completely unaffected by their relationship. And that’s all he’s ever wanted to know. What exactly did he mean to her? Did she like him a bit at all? Was it all fake? etc.

This is my other favorite conversation from this episode. Hee Jae asks her why she became a lawyer and she actually gives him a real answer. Through this conversation, both the viewers and Hee Jae learn a bit more about what makes Geum Ja tick and who she is. It also shows just how different the two are. Hee Jae doesn’t understand why everything is about money because he’s never had to think about money. He’s a rich boy who comes from a family of judges. You could not get more privileged and sheltered from reality. On the other hand, Geum Ja knows just how important money is in life because she (most likely) grew up without it. She doesn’t have the luxury to choose to do something just based on ideals and dreams.

But also, Geum Ja’s answer about wanting to know the law to protect herself further hints at her being vulnerable/unprotected at one point in her life. Hee Jae doesn’t know about her traumatic past but for the first time, he sees that there is something more to Geum Ja than just greed. This is their first time having this sort of conversation and he even remarks as much.

I have a feeling that Hee Jae didn’t really know who Geum Ja was while they dated. Not just because she pretended to be another person, but also because he probably didn’t try to dig deeper into who she was as a person. She catered everything to him in the relationship and he was probably fine with that. There was no reason for him to stop and ask his girlfriend what she liked/wanted. Like she said in episode 5, why doesn’t he try to come to her world for once?

So far, they’ve only been able to have real serious conversations in enclosed spaces where there is no one but the two of them. The small restaurant at closing hour, the supply closet, and now Geum Ja’s car. Outside of these small private spaces, they cannot allow themselves to be emotionally honest or vulnerable.

Haha, I guess Hee Jae’s work outs don’t translate into real life athleticism. Even with all the arguing and “I hate yous,” Hee Jae is still so whipped by Geum Ja. I guess old habits die hard.

On a more shallow note, Kim Hye Soo is so much prettier with her hair like this. I hate that they style her with those ugly sideburns or whatever the hell they are.

Anyway, I think the “hate” and backstabbing is probably going to mellow out between the characters now that they’re technically working on the same side. Of course, they will still be competitive with each other and make petty remarks, but I feel like it will be a bit less nasty. Looks like they will actually work together next episode and I cannot wait to see my asshole lawyer power couple crush the other side instead of each other.

#sbs hyena #hyena #kdrama #joo ji hoon #kim hye soo

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marshmallow-phd · 5 years

Text

Memories Past

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Supernatural, Wolf Au

Pairing: Kris x Reader

Summary: The last thing Kris wanted was to move on. He was perfectly content wallowing in his misery while pretending everything was okay. But when you come walking into his shop with a broken down car, he realizes the thing he’d been avoiding the most just might be the cure he always needed. He just couldn’t believe that it’d been you all along. Kris had been your best friend when you were kids before he’d moved away without a word of goodbye. Now nearly fifteen years later, you run into him again by pure coincidence. The memories come rushing back to you, stirring something inside. A childhood crush shouldn’t upend your picture perfect life, but sometimes, destiny has other things in mind…

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I Final

You braced yourself for the fallout, the yelling, for everything that you deserved. Any harsh word that came your way, you would take it. You’d let him get it out, anything he needed to say, you would let him.

But that’s not what came.

Instead, what you received was a pair of arms pulling you into Kris’ chest. He didn’t say anything, just held you as if you would disappear were he to let you go. How could he just take you in like this?

Wrapping your arms around his waist, you buried your face in his shoulder. All the pent up emotion that you’d been holding back for the last couple of weeks flowed out through the tears that now soaked Kris’ shirt. Sobs plagued your throat and your knees were shaking.

You were the one killing him and yet he was comforting you, shushing you in your ear as he rubbed your back. “Home” had never been so tangible than in this moment. That empty feeling that kept you awake at night was now filled, and yet guilt was drowning it out. As your tears began to fade out, Kris pulled back, taking your hand in his. There was nothing but love shining through his eyes. You didn’t understand how he could still look at you like that.

“Come on,” he tugged you down the steps with no resistance and you allowed him to lead you to the detached garage. You were grateful for the privacy. As calm as the beginning of this reunion was, you were still preparing yourself for the lash out to come.

Quietly shutting the side door, he turned back to you. Once you were sat down on a stool, he leaned up against the familiar white car you hadn’t seen for so long.

“Kris, I-”

“Have you-”

Both you closed your mouths when you heard the other speak. For a moment, you each waited for the other to start up again, but neither of you did. You felt that - since he had something he wanted to say - Kris should be allowed to begin, so you stayed silent, your heart pounding in your ears with anxious anticipation.

Exhaling a lung full of air, Kris ran a hand through his hair. “How did you get here?”

You shrugged. “I just remembered… from last time. I went in reverse.”

He nodded. Actually, it was more of a front to back bob then an up and down nod. “And… what are you doing here?”

“I-” You swallowed thickly. “I needed to see you.”

The slight upturn in the corner of his mouth had your heart flutter and you straightened up just a little bit.

“Why did you need to see me?” he whispered, looking at you with a quizzical look.

Not bothering to express it in words, you jumped up to wrap your arms around his waist once more, burying your face in his chest. A pair of lips gently pressed against the top of your head. That gave you enough courage to let out those two little words you’d been biting on for so long.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Kris murmured, squeezing you closer to him. “Don’t ever be sorry.”

You shook your head. “I pushed you away.”

“For a good reason,” Kris argued. Tilting your chin up, he had you look up at him. “Can I explain everything now?”

You nodded and he slowly untangled you from him, holding on to your hands. His smile was hesitant and unsure, crooked from not being brave enough to really shine in the moment.

“I know you think that what you feel for me was forced,” he started, “but I swear to you that it’s real. What I feel for you is real. I love you. And I know that’s me - not the mate bond. Because I’ve loved you since we were kids.”

While nothing but truth rang in his eyes, you couldn’t help but scoff. “You were always teasing me.”

“And doing things for you,” he whined. “I always gave in to you, no matter how ridiculous. Even playing house.”

Memories of Kris giving you the last bite of ice cream cake, handing over his jacket when you were cold, and, of course, playing house in your parents’ living room danced through your mind. Every once in a while, you’d see a strange sparkle in his eye when his gaze was directed at you, but your still developing mind could never decipher what that glimmer was.

But Kris had said that he’d been a wolf his whole life.

“So,” you squeezed his hand to ground yourself in the reality that you were in, “even as kids, the whole ‘mate bond’ thing was there?”

Kris shook his head ardently. “No. No, it doesn’t manifest itself until after the first shift and that doesn’t happen until about puberty. I was thirteen when I changed into a wolf for the first time. So, back then, it was purely us.”

That, right there, was exactly what you needed to hear. Because back when you were kids, you looked at him as if he out shined the stars in the sky. When he disappeared, it haunted you for years, always lingering and never letting you go. Now that you had most of the answers, you not only accepted your fate of being tied to Kris - you were relishing in it. Who else could say that their childhood best friend turned out to be their soulmate?

“I believe you,” you smiled shyly up at him. “And even if it was present back then, I can’t say that I care too much anymore.” The upturn of your mouth faded. “I could never let you die.”

“Die?” Kris tilted his head. “What do you mean? Who told you that?”

You chewed on the inside of your cheek. “Ji Yeon did. She explained to me what happens when a mate rejects their wolf.”

Kris cringed. “You never should have found out about that. It never would have happened.”

“Why do you say that?” you snapped.

Eyes glimmering down at you, he ran the back of his knuckles down your cheek. “I knew you’d come back to me.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes half heartedly. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t,” he teased. Like an exclamation point to emphasis it, he kissed your nose, making you giggle.

However, as happy as you were, there was still one mystery to you that needed to be solved.

“Will you tell me who Jiyoon was now?” you asked softly.

Instead of answering, Kris closed his eyes, breathing out through his nose as he leaned his forehead against yours.

You reached up to his face and traced his hairline with your fingers. “Kris, what happened to her?”

The way Kris muttered her name and woke in such a frightening way still haunted you. He pulled you in so closely to him after he’d realized he was awake that you knew something terrible was refusing to let him go.

Kris took your own face in his hands, caressing your cheek once with his fingertips, then twice, before sighing, “Several years back, I made a terrible mistake. Many, actually. I thought I was invincible. And I’d push all thoughts of you away.”

You shook your head. “I don’t-”

“I fell for a girl named Jiyoon,” he said quickly, as if he needed to get it out now or else he’d never be able to. “I always knew that my mate would come along, but I didn’t care. Even with you in the back of my mind, I still held her close.”

“I don’t blame you,” you said honestly. How could you judge when you were engaged just a few weeks ago?

“I loved her.” Kris’ eyes drifted from your face to the floor, staring at nothing as the memories played back in his mind. “Not like how I love you, but I did. And-” he closed his eyes, swallowing back what you suspected were tears. “And I got her killed.”

Your hands jumped up to Kris’ that were still cradling your face, your fingers wrapping around his wrists. “Kris, what are you talking about?”

When he opened his eyes again, little tears on the verge of falling were resting in the corners. His hands drifted down from your face to your upper arms. “I got into a fight with another pack. An extremely powerful pack. They were hitting on Jiyoon while she was working. It was this run down place with terrible food. But it was her job. I was there that night, watching them say disgusting things to her. So I threw the first punch. We got into a fight after she was fired. She screamed at me, said that she wanted to break up and that she never should have gotten involved with a wolf in the first place.”

“She knew?” Jealousy stabbed at you. Did he trust her with his secret where he never trusted you?

“Yes,” Kris nodded. “She was Junmyeon’s cousin. She grew up knowing about wolves.”

Oh. That eased the jealousy a tiny bit. “What happened after the fight?”

“I ran,” he admitted. “I could feel myself getting angry and knew I was going to shift any second, so I ran away. We were still in town, so when I calmed down enough, I bought some beer and went to our lake, our secret hide away. Drank myself into a stupor. When I woke up, it was the next day and I went home, hoping that I could get Jiyoon to change her mind. But…,” he paused, breathing in deeply to keep himself level, “but I was too late. I don’t know what she was doing in the woods - Junmyeon thinks she was trying to find me - but the pack from before came across her. Those sick bastards-”

Letting you go, Kris turned swiftly and slammed his fist down on on the metal work bench. You flinched instinctively at the sudden outburst. Kris’ shoulders heaved up and down shakily as he gripped the bench hard enough to create little indentions in the side.

“They killed her,” he whispered. “Tore her up and left her to bleed out. And it was all my fault. If I hadn’t confronted the pack, if I hadn’t gotten into a fight, then Jiyoon never would have gotten fired and we never would have gotten into an argument. I would have been there to protect her instead of drunk on a beach.”

You ran to him, sticking yourself to his back. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Slowly, he turned back around, shifting in your arms and whispering into your hair. “I can’t lose you like that, like her. That’s what I was dreaming about that night at your place. You in her place. If that ever were to happen, it would kill me.”

“It won’t happen,” you promised. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Whether surged by your declaration or by the emotions building up inside, Kris yanked you up and set you down on the bench before crashing his lips into yours. Acting on their own, your legs locked around Kris’ waist, giving him no choice but to carry on. You leaned back until your shoulders hit a tool box, bringing Kris with you as your fists clenched his shirt.

A couple of fingers found their way under the hem of your shirt, resting on your hip just above the waistband of your jeans. Kris nipped at your bottom lip, a rumbling growl vibrating his chest. One of your hands snaked up to his neck, running your fingers through his hair. You bit back, feeling Kris smile against your lips.

It was getting heated in that cool garage when suddenly the side door clicked open. Kris growled with a snarled lip as he whipped his head to find the intruder. A boy that you’d never seen before poked his head in shyly.

“Um, Kris,” he gulped. “I’m really sorry, but Junmyeon needs to talk to all of us. Didn’t say why.”

Relaxing his face, Kris sighed, “Thanks, Jongin. We’ll be right there.”

Nodding, the boy quickly shut the door and disappeared.

Kris traced the skin under your eye with his thumb. “Come on. If Junmyeon’s called a meeting then it’s probably serious.”

You cringed at the thought of having to go back into that house.

“What’s wrong?” Kris asked.

“I, um, don’t think some of your… brothers like me.” That was probably an understatement. You’d initially been thrown off by how welcoming Luhan was, but you still believed that you deserved the rougher treatment. And one was certainly ready to give it to you.

Kris frowned. “What do you mean?” Leveling with you, he pulled his eyebrows together, searching for any avoidance in your eyes. “(y/n), you ran out of that house fairly quickly. By the surprise on your face, I don’t think it was because you knew I was outside. What happened? Did someone say something to you?”

You swallowed, feeling like a tattle tale if you spoke up.

Narrowing his eyes, Kris placed a hand on either side of you, trapping you in. “(y/n)….”

There was no way out. You were pretty sure that Kris would just stay there in that position, even risk missing the meeting, until you finally gave him what he wanted.

You sighed, mumbling, “Tao didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”

The muscles in Kris’ face and jaw visibly tightened. “What did he say?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

A growl rumbled in his throat.

“Okay, okay.” You knew he would never hurt you, but you didn’t think Tao would be afforded the same luxury. “He… he said that you deserved a better mate.”

The ear shattering roar that erupted from Kris shook you to the core. Storming out of the garage, Kris had that look in his eye that told you he was on a mission and the end result would not be pretty.

“No, wait!” You jumped off of the bench, following him outside. You barely reached him before he’d hit the porch. Pulling on his arm, you begged for him to stop. “Don’t do something you’d regret!”

Kris turned on you, gripping your shoulders. “Don’t ever think that way about yourself. And Tao should never let those words leave his mouth. He needs to know that is unacceptable.”

“He’s just… protective of you.”

Rolling his eyes, a smile tugged at his lips. Good. He was calming down.

“It’s because I’m his alpha,” Kris grumbled. “It’s his instinct.”

Your eyes widened. “His alpha? Do you mean-”

“Shh.” Kris smirked a smile full of cockiness. “Later. We should get to this meeting before Junmyeon has a cow.”

“But-”

He shut you up with a kiss. “Later. I promise.”

You had no choice but wait, letting him lead you into the house where a living room full of wolves and mates were already gathered. This couldn’t be good.

#exo #exo fanfiction #exo fanfic #exo wolf au #exo wolf!au #exo werewolf au #exo werewolf!au #kris wu x reader #kris wu #wu yifan #exo supernatural au #exo series #exo scenarios #Memories Past #untamed wolf universe

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rycewrites · 5 years

Text

lookism rant #1

so... it’s spring break. and i’ve spent the entire break doing what any smart ap student would do: ignoring my five looming ap tests and draining my phone battery by looking at webtoons and instagram. since most of my favorite webtoons are on hiatus, i have resolved to rereading my favorites, and one that i’ve reread the most so far is lookism. as spring break comes to a finish in two days, i decided to get my life back on track and instead of simply rereading the comic, i will rant about my most and least favorite characters starting with the fandom’s all-time favorite character (yes, if you check the wiki for lookism there is a poll and it is fact that he is the majority’s favorite), jay hong/hong jae yeol. (also, note that these are my opinions so if you disagree with them don’t be offended but i would be happy to hear other people’s opinions on the webtoon! please comment who would be on your list because i need to talk to more people who read lookism!)

top favorite characters~

1. jay hong/hong jae yeol:

let’s just list off reasons why everyone loves him: he is well-dressed (even plans out other people’s outfits), generous (gives daniel literally everything he wants), selfless (he fricking took in enu’s pups even though he is scared of dogs), RICH (main reason for kouji’s admiration), strong (manz uses his systema well), and CAN RIDE A MOTORCYCLE (yes, i love a man who can ride a bike). he may not be the most dynamic character, but his static puppy status makes it impossible for me to put him lower on this list. we honestly don’t know that much about his backstory and i am super curious about why his family relationships are so strained (except with his sister, joy). for now, he remains a mystery, but like an attractive mystery. overall, me -> ( ･_･)♡

2. zach lee/lee jin sung:

honestly hated this boi in the beginning because he was a big bully to daniel, but he has been through some SERIOUS character development. mira was a big part in this but i feel like overall his morals have changed so much even when mira isn’t around. he does still fight often, but now it’s not meaningless violence as he uses his boxing skills to defend his friends (ex: defending johan during the god dogs arc).

i also hated his eyebrows and hair in the beginning of the comic but like that’s personal preference. however, in the last few episodes, his hair looks SO GOOD (reference image above).

he is second on my list of favorite characters because i feel that his development throughout the story has been the most dynamic. he not only changed mentally as he overlooks lookism more (ex: he is not only friends with big daniel but also little daniel) but also physically as he doesn’t simply depend on his inherent talent for boxing but actually goes back and trains again in order to get better (to defend mira >.<)

in the future, i hope to see more development with his relationship with mira and his friends because i hold a lot of high hopes for this boi! ♥‿♥

3. vasco/lee eun tae/tabasco:

BIG CUTIE ENERGY ♥╣[-_-]╠♥! first off, he may not have as much long-term development over the course of the story like zach, but we do see a lot of his development with his own arc and bullying story. he was always a pure boi and his inherent innocence creates a discrepancy with his appearance which makes him more endearing in my opinion. the idea of lookism is very apparent in his character because most people look at him and see him as a gangster or someone very intimidating, but in reality his personality and mindset are very innocent (showing another way that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover). i honestly LOVED the scene in the god dogs arc in which he defended zach and daniel joins in because that friendship is GOLDEN. i love how he always strives to be stronger and more powerful to defeat the evil in the world because it shows that he truly cares about the weaker people and those impacted by lookism. in my opinion, i think that vasco and zach will end up being the most powerful in the story (but that’s my opinion)

4. mira kim/kim mi jin:

pure! cute! sweet! moral! (✿ ♥‿♥)! mira is just an all-around great gal that makes it impossible for me to find flaws with. although she isn’t super major in terms of daniel’s story, she does impact zach significantly and makes him a better person. like she is the sole reason that zach has become a character that i truly admire and like. (although she did think that daniel was the r-word when he tried hitting on her in the beginning of the story. but throughout the story we see that she isn’t really a person to judge people on looks and stuff as we see that she gives jasmine the benefit of the doubt even after the vasco fiasco)

5. yena/eli jang’s (jang hyun’s) daughter:

honestly too cute for words. like the episodes where zach and mira find her are my favorites so i just wanted to include her in my favorite character list. also, she seems to be a character that really impacts other characters (zach and eli really changed for her ಥ_ಥ)

least favorite characters~

park ji ho:

always doing dumb things and making it harder for the people around him. he tries too hard to be a part of the popular group and as zach said, he doesn’t really think of them as friends because he just thinks about what the benefits are for hanging out with daniel and co. i think we all went from being tolerant of jiho in the beginning and then hating him at the end. i especially hated how he kept blaming other people and yet not accepting when people were being friendly. especially during the fake bank account arc, he just brushed off daniel when he asked jiho if he wanted to go to the convenience store then jiho goes running back to daniel and his friends when he realizes his mistake. overall, -123912830/10.

2. james gong:

don’t even know where to start with this punk. very violent for very little reason! i know i stated before that i hate jiho but i still felt kinda bad for him when he realized that james had sold the bank account he made for him. just overall a very intimidating character that hurt zach (ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻

3. jasmine huh:

needs to get her shit(ake) together. first off, she almost got vasco expelled from the school because of her lies. like big! red! flag! it seems that she really doesn’t care about other people (except james) and is willing to put so many other people at risk to save her own behind. also, i hate how she uses other people. like how she uses mira to make money when mira didn’t do anything wrong ヾ(ﾟдﾟ)ﾉ. i hope she one day realizes that her lies are gonna hurt so many other people and then herself.

4. heemin kim/zeus/creepy dude from the boot camp arc:

sexual assault is a big no in this household. i hate how he thinks that being handsome can defend him of his crimes! also, he broke zach’s arms which made me FLIP OUT. LIKE HOW DO YOU DARE TO HARM MY BOXER BOI. he also attacked mira, an actual angel ლ(ﾟдﾟლ). words can’t describe how much i hate this man but numbers can -> 0/10

5. logan lee/lee tae sung:

big bully energy. he needs to lay his hands off of everyone (especially zoe!). blackmail? big no go in this household. he also dumped his plate of food on mira? BIG NO GO! he needs to get his life together and realize that people don’t hate him because he’s “ugly,” it’s because he has THE WORST PERSONALITY!

6. strong contenders for least favorite: stalker girl, animal cruelty cat mom/hoarder, zoe’s stalker

characters that i need more information about to form stronger opinions about~

vin jin/jin ho bin:

dislike him because he abused enu but also want to know more about him. big bully energy but i feel like he has a deep backstory behind him so i want to know more. why did he quite judo? why does he wear sunglasses? hope he gets over his superiority complex and changes because i feel like he has a lot of potential.

2. eli jang/jang hyun:

so far, very cute and strong is all i have to say about him. also, he is a good dad like that scene where he put out that god dog’s cigarette? MAJOR PROPS TO YOU ELI. i’m very curious about his backstory as well because it seems that he was a contender for gun’s successor but he changed drastically to take care of yena. i also just love a man with good hair sooo…

3. jong gun + joon goo:

i want to know more about these two! like what’s their backstory? why did gun create the 4 big crews? why was goo sent to the juvenile detention center before? (look at vasco’s bullying arc for reference) why did gun leave goo alone with the money collection? overall very mysterious and i want to learn more.

random characters that just deserve appreciation~

crystal choi/choi soo jung:

we stan a strong female character. however, i don’t like how she is immediately prejudiced against handsome men in the beginning of her appearance. i think over time she’ll realize that her prejudice isn’t right and her experience as someone who has to deal with lookism doesn’t justify her immediate judgements. however, we need more female fighters in this story so she is a big yes.

2. duke pyeon:

WE STAN A MAN WHO FOLLOWS HIS DREAMS DESPITE BEING BULLIED AND JUDGED. yes, we stan.

3. daniel park/park hyung suk:

honestly, he’s a great character and all, but i don’t know if he could ever reach favorite character status. i just have a mindset that makes me unable to pick the protagonist as a favorite character because i feel like they are sometimes created specifically to just bring the story together. don’t get me wrong, he’s a great person, defends his friends, and doesn’t fight for no reason, but i feel like there isn’t anything super special about his personality (other than the fact that he has two bodies but like so does crystal). he also looks like kim seokjin in his new body which is a big plus.

4. inu/enu + inu/enu’s pups:

i love dogs

5. mary kim/idk her korean name someone help me:

strong female character? i think yes. honestly such a fav. she doesn’t take sh*t from vin jin and i honestly want to know more about her character and background. *spoiler alert* i read ahead in the korean version and saw that she can beat people up too so like… she’s a bada**.

6. kouji:

as a person interested in computer science, I STAN. i also love a man with good hair. his cocky personality is sometimes off-putting but honestly his confidence is endearing at times. also we both love money!

7. jace park/park bum jae:

during vasco’s bullying story, i was so sad when he left vasco, but i love how he realized that he should’ve been a better friend and has stuck with vasco after all of this time. also love how he listens to vasco and tries to make him happy even when he knows that vasco does some silly things (like planting durian seeds in korea)

8. zoe park/park ha neul:

i love her development! she still fights with herself over whether she should like big daniel or small daniel, which displays her internal conflict with lookism. over time she has stopped judging people solely on their appearance and she is even able to distinguish between daniel and his cousin! (in my opinion, if daniel doesn’t end up with jay he better end up with zoe instead)

9. daniel’s (hyung suk’s) mother:

ICON! WE NEED TO APPRECIATE OUR PARENTS MORE! I AM A BIG STAN! SHE WORKS HARD FOR DANIEL AND IT BREAKS MY HEART WHEN DANIEL DOESN’T REALIZE!

10. song johan:

deserved better. he was just trying to help his mom which makes him so pure! but i feel like he should realize that he has friends (zach and mira) that could help him get through his problems! overall, want to see more of him and i hope he develops even more.

#lookism #daniel park #crystal choi #zach lee #vasco #jay hong #kouji #johan #webtoon #zoe park #logan lee #jace park #mary kim #vin jin #eli jang #james gong #mira kim

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tinamaetales · 5 years

Text

Anti-human?!

Thirteenth K Drama: I am not a robot

They said that no man is an island but what if a person chooses to live in seclusion because of his allergy to his fellow human? Is that really possible for someone to survive just by himself? Is it possible for a human to have an allergy by having even the slightest human contact? And what triggers such allergy? I am not a Robot is a romantic comedy drama that tells us the story of Kim Min Kyu, the Director of KM Financial Corporation, who lived 15 years of his life in seclusion – avoiding human contact at all cost. Until, he met a robot that looks exactly like a human, AJI 3. With AJI 3, he was able to interact with her as if she’s a human and his allergy is not being triggered because he knows that it is just a robot and not a human. But what if the AJI 3 that he knows is actually not a robot?

Synopsis

For a successful man like Kim Min Kyu, Director of KM Financial Corporation, you would think that he has it all in life. Sure, he’s rich, good looking and intelligent but if there’s one thing weird about him is that he’s not fond of being near with people. And by that I mean, you’re not literally allowed to have even a slightest contact with him for there would be an extreme allergic reaction on his body. Despite being the chairman of a large corporation, Min Kyu is seldom seen in their office and when he shows up, everyone’s instructed to hide and is not allowed to go near him. Although he never told anyone about it, it has become the norm in their office. He’s always fully clothed and even wears gloves no matter the weather and he also carries a “baton” which gained him the title “three part baton”. What people around him don’t know is that the reason why he behaves that way is because he has an extreme allergy with human contact. Ever since his parents died, he lives alone in their mansion (although he has a butler but he lives in a different house). He doesn’t trust anyone for at such a young age he already experiences betrayal and that traumatized him so bad that even a slight touch would cause for an extreme allergic reaction. And then, he met the Santa Maria Team. They are a group of scientists who specializes in creating the most advanced robot. They introduced Min Kyu to AJI 3; AJI 3 is a super advanced AI robot that functions and look exactly like a human but is more intelligent than an average human. Seems like an answered prayer for Min Kyu who’s been living his life in seclusion however, before they can even get the chance to send AJI 3 to Min Kyu it encounters a problem. Out of desperation, they seek the help of Jo Ji A, the human that AJI 3 was modeled after. They made Ji A pretend as AJI 3 until they fix the real robot. What will happen now that the AJI 3 that Min Kyu knows is actually NOT a robot?

Okay, I know this is another drama that would make me say “I can relate so much to the main character” but I swear this time it is on a whole different level of connection. Early this year, I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder and the name itself is already the clue that it has something to do with being around people. Actually, I can tolerate people when they’re about a kilometer (I’m bad at this measurement thing, sorry) away from me and they’re minding their own businesses. But once I get myself in a crowd and people starts being noisy and if bad luck would have it, they will strike a conversation with me, I will start having panic attacks. It will start with having difficulty in breathing, then my heart would feel like it beats faster than normal which will then led to the feeling of my chest tightening and then the rest of my body would be numb. I would have this paranoia that those people would hurt me. Most of the time I will run to the nearest bathroom but sometimes if I’m lucky enough to have a brown bag, I would inhale through it. When I started taking my meds for my anxiety disorder, the attacks lessened and somewhat become milder. So there are days wherein I would be confident enough to not take the meds at all – some days are good because I get to have zero attacks but there are days wherein I would have at least 2-3 attacks. The worst part is that, I work outside Cavite and has to take public transportation. The work that I have is related to frontline services so imagine the kind of suffering I have to endure for months before my former boss decided to transfer me to the back-end operations office (God Bless her, she’s the best!) Now that I’m not in the frontline, I can say that I’ve calmed down already. However, there are still series of attacks. I guess it will really take time – maybe years, before I can recover. I’m not rushing into things but sometimes I feel so bad about it – it makes me feel like I’m not normal and will never be. In Min Kyu’s case, it was more visible physically. A slight contact with another human would result to him having severe allergic reaction in which his body will be covered with rashes and he will also have difficulty in breathing. It was somehow deadly. His doctor pointed out that it was being triggered psychologically since Min Kyu doesn’t trust anyone. So, his body would definitely react when another human, whom he doesn’t trust, would make a contact with him. The root cause was the betrayal he experienced when he was still younger. After that, he doesn’t have the ability to trust anyone anymore. Who could blame him, though? Humans tend to do that all the time – betrayal, even though you’ve shown them nothing but kindness. I truly understand why Min Kyu chooses to live in seclusion. Most of the time, it is better to just be alone than be with people who will turn their backs on you once they’ve realized that the benefits they’re gaining from associating their selves with you ran out. What makes this story unique is that it shows the journey of Min Kyu’s healing and the romance aspect is a beautiful addition to that. Its theme might be rom-com but there really is more to it.

Picking up the broken pieces

As they say, pain changes people and I truly believe that. Min Kyu’s life changed drastically after his parents died and at such a young age he was forced to face the world by himself. He chose to live in seclusion as to not get hurt anymore. He ended up being a bit arrogant because of that. As I’ve said earlier, I can truly understand where he is coming from. Most of the time, dealing with people is stressful. I’ve experienced a lot of horrible things with people too, especially at school wherein bullying is common and sometimes can’t be helped. Once you’ve experienced betrayal, trusting people again would be a challenge. Min Kyu kept his guard up as to not experience the same kind of pain he’d been through when he was young. However, even though he won’t admit it, he’s lonely. Having that kind of medical condition didn’t only affect him physically but also morally and psychologically. He can’t even enlist himself in the military and fulfill his obligation as a citizen of his country because of it. But I guess fate is on his side because he gets to meet the Sta. Maria Team who are developing the most advanced AI robot. With AJI3 by his side, he slowly learns how to face the world again. It was as if AJI3 gives him the confidence and assurance that despite the craziness of the world, if you have at least one person by your side that you can trust, then life is bearable.

Nobody’s perfect

I’ve read this phrase somewhere online before and I couldn’t agree more to it: We are very good judges with the mistakes or others but are also very good lawyers with our own. And, I can pretty much relate it to Min Kyu’s situation, somehow.

It is already a given fact that in this world, people has the ability to hurt and disappoint us whether it be intentional or not and that’s okay because it is part of our journey and character development. What we often forget is that everyone makes mistakes for nobody’s perfect – something that Min Kyu seems to be struggling with. He tend to get mad at the slightest mistake of his employees without thinking that most of the time he is being too much; he is already hurting people. Sending AJI 3 to him is actually a good step towards “transforming” him to become and live like a normal human being should be however due to the circumstances, the Santa Maria Team has to do something out of desperation, a “detour”

Letting go

Someone once told me that in order for me to live better, I must let go of all the negative emotions that I am carrying – anger, pain, resentment. It is not easy but once you’ve done it, you will feel better – as if something heavy has been lifted off your chest. It is when you learn that the world is cruel yet you can make it become less of it that can make you feel more at ease – acceptance is the key.

Min Kyu is not anti-human, he’s just protecting himself from the pain he once experienced that’s why he ended up that way and I totally get where he is coming from when he gets mad at the Santa Maria Team and Ji A for manipulating him. Although their intention’s a bit good, what they’ve done is dangerous and lies, no matter how big or small, are still lies and they are not good. What Min Kyu has to learn, the hard way though, is that there will always be people who would hurt you and betray you but that’s okay because what they do and/or say actually says more about them than you. And even him, he can also hurt people, may it be unintentional or not but what’s important is you know how to accept mistakes and learn from it. After all, a single mistake should not define who a person is. People change, they do it all the time so we should be ready to forgive because despite the cruelties in this world, there are still a lot of people who are willing to learn from their mistakes and make up for it. Sometimes we do things that can hurt people that we never intended to and it sucks that we can’t just go back in time to change it, we only have the present to make up for the mistakes of the past and I strongly believe that we all deserve a second chance. At the end of the day, the good will always outweigh the bad.

It is when he decided to let go of all the anger, resentment and grief that he’s been carrying on his shoulders ever since he was young that he finally opened himself to love – self love. It is when he realized that people make mistakes but that doesn’t mean that they won’t learn from them and change for the better that he was able to open his heart to accept people in his life again. Of course there would still be people who will try to take advantage of him but upon realizing that those people can be outnumbered and overpowered by those who truly care for him, then life is still worth fighting for. Min Kyu’s journey towards healing is a great inspiration. This drama is really something else. There are a lot of life lessons that we can get from it. Give it a chance, go watch it I promise you won’t regret it.

TinaMae

for more of my kdrama review, click here: https://tinamaetales.tumblr.com/tagged/k-drama

PS, I have so much backlog with my kdrama review/reflection posts (the ones I am posting so far are the kdramas I’ve watched in 2018! ) because I just recently recovered my tumblr account wew

#personal #kdrama #k drama #i am not a robot #chae soo bin #yoo seung ho

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