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#jesus christ i'm lonely
musicalchaos07 · 6 months
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Me, writing any college aged Jonathan Byers: I will sprinkle in the fact that he's going to therapy
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politemagic · 29 days
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sometimes i feel like i love a little too easily. not in the romantic sense, but just in general. the threshold to attain my love is incredibly low, i have a heart that's primed for love. i love my partner. i love my parents. i love my best friend. i love the friends i haven't spoken to in ages. i love my co-worker who brought her dog into the office on christmas eve even though she was off because she wanted to make me smile. i love the employee at dunkin who remembers my coffee order. i love the greeter at our local walmart who wears bright pink butterfly clips in her hair. i love the girl in the car next to me enthusiastically pointing at my dog to her friend in the passenger seat. i love random the tumblr user who reblogs my post with funny or kind tags. i love the mutual whom i hardly ever actually speak to but we tag each other in tag games/send asks/etc. i believe humans are inherently lovable.
i have been loved too well in my life to not love others, and while sometimes that love can be taken advantage of, at the end of the day the saying is true: it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. so i'll continue to love as i feel it, to express that love even if sometimes it isn't reciprocated, because i think it's beautiful thing to love other people, even if only in little bits.
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spocks-kaathyra · 3 months
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when the weed starts tasting like the realization that I'm still deeply lonely and I'll never be loved how I need and it's selfish of me to even want it
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bsaka7 · 9 months
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the other stupid thing I've been bummed about is I've been hanging out with two of my best friends from high school every once in a while but it just feels like the onus is on me to plan everything if i want to be involved and to come up with fun affordable stuff to do. and they're closer to each other than me which is fine and has nearly always been true and like I love and respect it but it just made me sad when we were all at the state fair yesterday and it felt like i didn't even need to be there most of the time like they were enjoying nearly everything just together and i was just. there. and yet it's my role to figure out what we're doing and who is hungry for what and when we're all done and like even when we talk about what to do next it's just my ideas and half the time one of them doesn't even respond which makes me sad and it's like . Ok. I'm so much less lonely than I was a year ago and i have other friends I care about and see on my weekends too it's just like. We've been friends for so long. And I've really never felt so left out with them as I do now :(
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yousaytomato · 2 years
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I've been caring way too much about the internet recently and I hate it, I hate how isolated I've made myself, I hate how little I talk to or see my friends, I hate how invested I find myself being in things that really do not fucking matter at all
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elytrafemme · 1 year
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thinking a lot about empathy and apathy. and how while i do experience some level of empathy i think it is largely dampened by the overwhelming apathy i experience on a daily basis. and how it sometimes feels like this missing part of me that everyone has but i don’t for some reason because it is so difficult sometimes to just. care. or understand why anybody feels anything.
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intertexts · 2 months
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literally in such a foul fucking mood it's unreal
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blonding · 1 year
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oh gary i am so lonely. help!
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daintcas · 2 months
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breaking up with rafe cameron (it lasts a day) !
your phone was blowing up furiously with notifications you didn't have to look at to know who it was. another text from your recently self-proclaimed ex-boyfriend pinged again.
'Where are you'
'Answer me.'
'I'm coming to your house'
'We're going to talk about this'
swiping off the messages from your lock screen and angrily flipping over your phone, you sat up in bed where you'd been sulking and threw off the covers.
he'd really hurt your feelings this time, off and gone doing god knows what (selling w barry) for days, usually without a single text. when you did finally get to see him, he had the audacity to be tense and mean towards you.
everyone knows about rafe's short temper, but you're the one who had to deal with it. after so much of letting him take it out on you - especially recently - and not having a spare second to love on your boyfriend, you'd had enough and stopped hanging around his house. shortly after, ending it through a single text.
the sound of his truck swerving into your driveway had you furrowing your brows and pouting, stomping down the stairs to lock the front door. as you reach out the twist the knob, it swings open and you're left stumbling back.
his mere presence towering over you wipes your confidence to say anything. forcing himself inside, he shuts the door behind him and inches closer to you - like a predator to their prey.
"you gonna explain, or what?" he asks, tauntingly slow as he looks down at you and your glossy eyes, trying to contain his anger.
"we're done, rafe. that's what," you push out, though admittedly failing at trying to stand your ground. with him here in front of you, what could you possibly have been so upset about? your memory fails you the longer you keep his intense gaze.
he scoffs and shakes his head, exhaling sharply through his nose to physically release his rage - though his jaw is still firmly clenched. "that's fuckin' rich."
"i'm serious. you're— you're never here. i'm all by myself at your house all the time. i just.. it's so lonely." after finally finding your words and letting them out, the both of you seem to relax a bit.
"baby, i— listen, i'm workin' a business now, okay? i got my own money, i'm.. providing. for you." he explains in a hurry, trying to hide how desperately he needs you back.
"i don't need any of that, rafe. i just want to be around you." your voice starts to trail off towards the end, partly because of the vulnerability but mostly because of his possible reaction.
as he runs his hands over his face to ease the tension between his brows, he lets out a sigh and stays silent for a moment.
"don't fucking scare me like that. you can just tell me this shit, don't have to go starting a bunch of nonsense." the words are followed by his hands dropping to his side, looking down at you more hurt than mad.
it has your heart melting and your head nodding before looking down, letting out a bold but harmless mumble. "still mad at you though.."
the arm hooking around the back of your neck tugs you into his chest, free hand messily working through your hair to pull you firmer against him. his lips plant possessively on the crown of your head before murmuring, "jesus christ."
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kulvefaggoth · 2 years
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All my friends are acting all cute and in love and i fucking hate it
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oneforthemunny · 2 months
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home is wherever i'm with you |hockey player!eddie munson x reader|
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prompt: life on the road during hockey season is far less glamorous than you thought it would be. homesick and lonely, eddie tries to get you feeling better.
also special thank you to @angietherose for the name of the au hockey team :) eddie is officially on the indy reapers! thank you to all who voted as well!
contains: fluff, but there is slight angst at the beginning. mentions of loneliness, a little depression. slight-ish tension or strain on the relationship, but you know i make it happy at the end lol. language.
Pasadena, California - 1993 
Day seventeen on your six week excursion with Eddie. Well, excursion was a generous thing to call what this was. You were feeling more like a groupie for the Indianapolis Reapers, a puck bunny as Eddie’s teammates snickered, brows raised in suggest when they’d pass jersey clad girls lingering around their buses. Stop after stop- press, practice, training, games, all over the nation. 
A suitcase full of clothes you’d grown sick of already, longing to go home and trade them for something different, washing them in the sharp, sterile detergent of the hotels. You longed for your own sheets, perfumed with your own detergent. 
Eddie was gone for most of the day. You tried to sightsee on your own, explore the cities but it was lonely, lacking someone to giggle with over lattes, to hold your hand in the street, just to talk to. The other WAGS that came along, stuck out the long haul across the states, clung to each other, comfortable in their own little clique. You were too new, an outsider to their group. 
“Hey, babe,” Eddie pressed the key into the lock, twisting the heavy latch open. “Babe, do you have that stuff? Did you bring it?” He hummed, dropping his bag at the door, kicking off his sneakers. 
His nose curled at the pungent smell, ripe from the warming weather of California. “Jesus Christ, I gotta wash this stuff. I’m sorry, I’ll put it in the laundry thing.” Eddie hummed, sliding the slotted closet door open. “Can’t believe how warm it is here already. Feels so nice outside. You’ve been outside today, sweetheart?” He rambled, sweetly, tossing the powdered detergent into the washer, shoving the workout clothes from his bag into the tiny machine. 
The steady hum of the air conditioner filled the room, his only response. Eddie’s brows lifted, jamming the button of the washer, sliding the door back into place. He didn’t remember hearing you say you were leaving today, but he had taken a pretty hard hit to the glass during practice, ears still ringing dully. 
“Baby?” Eddie called, opening the bathroom door, empty of you other than the scattered products on the vanity. Heavy steps on the patterned carpet, Eddie walked into the bedroom suite, halting at the edge of the crumpled sheets. 
You laid on your side, still in what he’d left you in that morning, eyes puffy and red rimmed looking motionlessly out the window. “Hey, I thought you- I was, uh, I was just talking but-” Eddie’s heart beat in his throat, uneasy at the sight of you, crumpled in the sheets. “Are you ok?” 
You turned, cheek still pressed to your arms under the pillow, just enough to see him- all wild curls, matted and frizzy with helmet hair. “Yeah,” You croaked, throat scratchy and sore with sobs that had stilled hours ago, still you were plagued with the aftershocks of weeks of suppressed emotion. 
“I- I’m not trying to sound like a dick or anything here, but you’re clearly not.” Eddie said softly, slowly approaching the bed. The bed dipped under his weight, a warm hand rubbing over your ankle under the cool sheets. 
“Baby,” Your face crumpled at the coo, so sweet, gentle, it made your nose burn. “What’s goin’ on?” Eddie muttered, thumb circling your ankle bone gently. 
Your nose burned with a slow, shaky exhale that he felt, rattled all the way down your body under his touch. Eddie’s heart dropped. “Hey, look at me.” Eddie’s voice was softened but sharp, teetering on frantic. You turned, looking at his wide eyes, running over your frame in worry. “What’s goin’ on? What’s the matter?” 
Your lip wobbled, head screaming words you couldn’t bring yourself to say- you didn’t know how to say. “I just-” You took a breath, chest stuttering. “I don’t… feel good.” 
Eddie’s brows creased, crawling up the bed beside you. “Don’t feel good, like, sick?” He muttered, the back of his hand pressing to your palm. “You don’t feel hot t’me. What hurts? Is it your head still? I told you, baby, that hippie dippie shit only works so much. You have to take medicine-” 
“-No,” You shook your head, eyes squeezing tightly to keep your tears at bay. “It’s-it’s not that.” 
Eddie blinked carefully. “What? Is it, like, the time of the month? D’ya need me to go get some stuff for you? You know I don’t mind to. Not a problem for me, baby, just tell me what you need.” Eddie’s head tilted to the side, so sweet and doting, it made your chest heat with swarming guilt and adoration. 
“I’m not on my period. It’s nothing, Ed.” You shook your head, curling back into your pillow. 
Eddie stilled above you. “Are- Are you pregnant?” He whispered. 
“No.” You groaned quickly, head shaking into the warmth of the pillows. 
Eddie sighed lightly, a huff of relief that fell short, when your body turned from him, back towards the window with a long inhale. “Hey, can you- can you look at me? Please? Look at me, baby.” Eddie’s pitch raised, teetering towards scared, his hand on your shoulder, pushing you gently so you rolled on your back. 
He hovered over you, curls falling down nearly brushing your cheeks. “Tell me what’s going on. Please? Tell me what’s wrong.” Eddie whispered, nearly a beg. “You don’t feel good? You don’t feel good here?” His throat swelled, tight with fear. “With me?” 
Your silence had Eddie’s stomach twisting, dropping with fear, bile rising in the back of his throat- he was going to be sick, he was sure he would be. 
“No,” You muttered, head shaking lightly under the pillow. “Not with you, just,” You reached up, nervously twirling his curl around your finger. “Just with this.” 
Eddie swallowed, willing himself still, calm, though his heart felt like it might give out. “This? Wh-What do you mean this?” Eddie’s voice shook. 
You blinked up at him, eyes rounding in a sad softness he hadn’t seen before. “I just… I miss being home.” You whispered, eyes glossing with a fresh wave of tears that pricked your waterline. “I miss seeing my friends, and being in my own bed, a-and even work. I just,” Your breath hitched, lip trembling. “I’m just really lonely.” 
Eddie was sure his heart did give out, break right in his chest, sunk right to the pit of his stomach. “Do you- You wanna go home?” Eddie’s hand ran down your cheek gently. “That’s what you want? That would make you feel better?” 
Your face crumbled, caved into itself at his tone. “I-I don’t know.” You admitted, eyes squeezed shut to keep the tears in. “I don’t want to leave you, b-but I don’t-” You pressed your palms to your eyes, taking a slow inhale through your nose. “I just don’t want to be alone so much. A-And I know that’s not your fault. I know you’re working.” 
When your eyes did meet his, Eddie wished they’d stayed closed, heartbreakingly sad, vacant of that light that usually shone through, brightening anything cast in your gaze. “I just… I’m feeling homesick, ‘m sorry.” You muttered. “I just really miss home, and I’m having a bad day.” 
“You don’t- Don’t apologize.” Eddie shook his head. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were feelin’ like this.” Eddie swallowed, pulling you up gently. Your body was slack, limp with unmotivated movement, but still, you settled into his arms. The tension in your body melted, nose buried in the material of his shirt, lathered in cologne and the hot California air. 
“I have a half day tomorrow.” Eddie muttered, his heart beating fast, you could hear it, feel it. His hand smoothed up your back. “We’ll do something. Go exploring and stuff. Do some fun stuff.” 
“You’re ‘sposed to rest.” You muttered, cheek squished to his chest. “It’s before your game, you’re supposed to be resting.” 
“Yeah, but that is resting.” Eddie shook his head gently. “I’ll be alright. Promise. Played after way worse. Me and Josh used to come in hungover, vomited on the ice one time.” Eddie’s chest rumbled with soft laughter. “Pretty sure we’re the reason that rule’s in place now.” 
Your lips curled, even through your sullen, dazed mood, you couldn’t help it. Clinging to him tighter, you moved into his touch. “Coach just means take it easy like, don’t go get fucked up and actually sleep the night before.” Eddie muttered, chin tucking down onto your head. “C’mon, lemme take you out tomorrow. Me and you. Go anywhere you want.” 
You didn’t reply. Instead, sighed gently, settling into his hold. 
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Eddie was restless through all of morning practice, hands buzzing, ready to run to the rental car at the first dismissal. Shower be damned, he’d take a quick one at the hotel, he couldn’t be held up any longer. 
“What’s goin’ on with you, Munson?” Elijah muttered, next to Eddie in the huddle on the ice, the coach’s droning about protocol for the game. 
“Nothin’.” Eddie whispered back, twisting his stick in his hands. “Just wish he’d fuckin’ hurry up.” 
Elijah’s eyes cut to Eddie, snorting lightly. “You got somewhere to be?” 
“Yeah, I do actually.” Eddie sighed out. “Gotta get back. Promised my girl I’d take her out.” 
Elijah’s brows raised. “Shit, you brought her with you?” 
Eddie’s shoulders tensed. “She wanted to come.” He muttered defensively. “I mean, she wanted to. Now it’s kinda fucked, she’s-” Eddie’s eyes cut around him. “She’s kinda homesick.” 
Elijah nodded slowly. “Yeah, that happens.” He fought back a smile. “When’s the last time you took her out?” 
Eddie’s eyes cut to him, defensive with accusation. “It’s not like that. I take her out.” 
“Yeah? On the off day? After we’ve traveled all day?” Elijah snorted, shaking his head. “C’mon, Munson. Believe me, that doesn’t count.” 
Eddie ignored him, gripping his stick with furious annoyance. The fuck did he know? He didn’t know anything. 
“Look, I’m not tryna piss you off. I did it, too. Just- believe me, alright? That one day shit doesn’t work.” Elijah pressed gently. 
“Hey, I got it, alright? I’m good.” Eddie growled. 
Elijah held his hands up in defense. “Alright, I’m just saying, when it was me,” He started. “I wasn’t meaning to. I just wasn't used to it. Had my own road routine and tried to fit her around it instead of into it. Thought it was going good until it wasn’t.” 
Eddie stilled, silent but shoulders slumping lightly. “You gotta change your routine, find a way to fit her into it. She’s on the road too, not just you.” Elijah continued. 
The coach whistled, waving them in dismissal. Eddie blinked, pulled out of his daze, lifting his helmet and stick with him. Elijah nodded at him. “Have fun tonight, Munson.” He smiled softly. “Make sure you take her somewhere nice.” 
Elijah’s words rang in Eddie’s head all the way back to the hotel, only a short drive from the arena. Eddie nearly threw his keys at the valet, sliding into the elevator shamelessly, bouncing on the balls of his toes until he reached your floor. 
You startled when he came in, sitting at the vanity, doing your makeup. “You’re done already?” 
“Yeah,” Eddie muttered, ducking down for a kiss. “Just gotta shower real quick, but are you hungry?” He shimmied his workout sweats onto the floor, kicking his socks off with them. 
Your eyes lingered over his bare lower half for a second, turning back to paint your mascara on. “I’m not starving.” You mumbled. 
“Alright, good, I was gonna see if we could go to this place. I think you’ll like it.” Eddie grinned over his shoulder at you, the hiss of the shower coming to life. “Some guys told me if you’re in Pasadena you gotta go here.” His smile so wide, eyes sparkling in the dim yellowed light of the hotel bathroom, it made your tummy tingle with warm excitement. 
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“Promise you’re not looking?” Eddie mumbled, hands over your eyes, waddle-walking awkwardly behind you, pressed close to your back. 
“Swear I’m not.” You grinned. Eddie was right, it was beautiful outside. Warm and bright, light illuminating his hands that covered your eyes with a reddish glow. 
“I can feel you trying to. Your lashes are tickling me.” Eddie muttered, leaving you giggling. “Ok, just- you know what, this is good enough. I’m scared you’re gonna trip.” Eddie said, lips curling at your soft laugh. 
“Are you ready for your surprise?” You could hear Eddie’s grin in his voice, a breeze floating between the two of you. 
“Yes.” You giggled, Eddie’s chest swelling at the sound. “Just show me. Your hands are clammy. They’re gonna smear my mascara.” 
“Shit, sorry.” Eddie muttered sheepishly, a blush spilling on his cheeks, pulling his hands away so they were still in front of you. “Ok, ready?” 
“Eddie-” 
“-Sorry, Alright, one, two,” Eddie moved his hands, smiling proudly in front of you, a pinkish looking building behind you. “Here it is! Surprise!”
You blinked. “Oh.” You quipped softly. 
Eddie blinked, smile falling. “What? I thought you’d- You don’t like it?” 
“No,” You shook your head. “I mean, no, that’s- Where are we?” 
“Oh,” Eddie shook his head lightly. “Shit, I thought you’d know. Uh, apparently this place is supposed to be like the place for flowers, y’know? Pasadena has that flower festival thing, but it’s not until later and I know you like to go to the cool places, and-” Eddie motioned to the store behind him. 
You took in the building, spilling over with plants you could see from the inside. “I, uh, I know you miss home.” Eddie said softly. “And I was just thinking, y’know, we can’t get houseplants like at home, but maybe some bouquets? Some flowers for the hotel room.” 
Eddie waited a beat, desperately trying to read your face, eyes wandering over the building and the signs. “I thought maybe you’d pick out some flowers and-and it would make it feel like home.” Eddie’s hands slid down his jeans, hot from the sun beaming on them. “Plus, you wanted to see some around here, a-and y’know… one bird, two stones.” Eddie rambled, shrugging sheepishly. 
You felt the familiarity of a cry bubbling back in your chest, swelling and suffocation, only this time the aching of sadness was gone. In its place, a bubbling, burning feeling of adoration was left, consuming you from the inside out with every nervous glance Eddie gave you. He’d listened, really fucking listened. He always did, but this time it was different. Relief, comfort washing over you for the first time in days. 
It felt like home. 
Like the two of you were back in Hawkins, or Indianapolis even, perusing the usual spots, happy and content to be together in a familiar place. 
Eddie wasn’t expecting you to grab him, pull him into you with a fierce, sloppy kiss. Right there on the sidewalk, under the California sunshine. Lips melting into his, clawing and grabbing at his shirt, the back of his neck. Eddie’s cheeks burned bright when you pulled apart, a smile so wide and goofy it made you giggle. 
He let you grab his hand, lead him around the flower shop like a lost puppy, picking out anything and everything that made you smile. A bright bouquet spilling out beautifully in the green vase, made just for you. 
You sat it right on the small bedside table, beaming at how it livened up the room. Eddie wasn’t sure if it was the flowers or you. Either way, it revived you, made you happier and giddier. Made the sheets of the hotel less cold when you slipped beneath them, legs tangled in his, pinning him under you onto the stiff mattress. It made the room brighter, spilling with a new fragrance that felt familiar. 
It was small, a miniscule way that meant the world to you; made you feel at home. Eddie knew it, planning how he’d do it with every next city, until you finally got back home.
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flashbangstars · 3 months
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NCT dream as people you met on public transport
as someone who lives in a big city this was simply fitting
Mark
he took the last seat as you both got on at the same stop
he made awkward eye contact as he notices you standing infront of him as he was sitting
and them proceeded to look at you ever couple minutes while he was sitting
he had headphones in, but with how shit they were you could hear the justin bieber songs leaking through and he was now on his 6th jb song
it was like he literally had just a jb playlist
GOD ANOTHER ONE
every time the train would stop for a station he would pull one earbud out and look around wildly and then once he realized it wasn't his spot he would put the earbud back
when you had zoned out staring off into the distance you felt a poke at your leg.
"you can have my seat when I get off"
#1 jb stan was being a gentlemen
you weren't sure if he was aware, but he had been loudly humming the songs as they past and he currently was halfway through one less lonely girl
when the train slowed to your stop, jb stan shot up abruptly leaving less than 2 inches between the two of you
and like screeched a little bit?
Running towards the exit of the train and waiting for the doors to open
once they opened he darted across the platform to the same train on the other side going the opposite way
Justin bieber boy missed his stop too lost in the jb sauce : (
Renjun
your usual go to is putting ur backpack on the seat next to you, (because you get enjoyment from being an asshole)
two stops into your commute, shorty came up to you and pointed at your backpack
you took your airpod out and looked up
"can you move your bag
no "please", no "is it ok" NOTHING
you begrudgingly moved your bag onto to your lap
he sat down next to you and put his own headphones on
the good news was he smelled really good
like sophisticated richness
like he owned a yacht and went to expensive restaurants
you just usually stole whatever perfume your roommate left out in the bathroom (with permission)
and why are the mean looking bitches always hot??
He looks like he perpetually sucks on lemons, but I want him!
halfway through the ride you had been zoned out and knew your stop wasn't for a bit, you felt a tug at your bag
your ass clenched in fear, cuz like am I being robbed??
looking down slightly you watched as ice prince was mindlessly playing with the keychain that hung from your bag that was in his space
you didn't move a inch as if not to spook him (jesus christ hes not a fucking animal)
he then snapped out of it and dropped the keychain and looked up quickly to see if you noticed, not expecting you to be already looking
he flinched a bit and eyes widened
"oh.. I'm so sorry" he apologized putting his hands up
you reach down again and grab the keychain he had been playing with and hold it up
"I got it from gas station because I thought it was cool"
his small hand slowly creeped down again to grab the keychain once more
"oh, It looks really cool" he said softly and played with the charms
you two then spent the rest of the trip talking about the trinkets on your bags
Jeno
he was on the train when you got on, he was sitting at one of the double seats by the door
when he saw you get on he moved his sports duffle from the seat next to him onto the floor and gave you that look of "you can sit here if you want"
he had on those big over ear headphones and a giant ass hoodie n sweats
if you were being honest he was kinda hot
when you sat down next to him it was incredibly hard to not make awkward eye contact with him as he was beside you
it was semi hot outside since it was the end of spring and so you both were in shorts
you had that weird skin to skin contact at first and I think it sparked some sort of carnal desire
very much so a inside us there are two wolves moment
you couldn't even tell anyone about your experience because he could see your screen and you didn't have one of those privacy ones!
you had to suffer in silence, job harder than the soldiers : (
when your stop came, you went. reach above and pull the line, but he beat you to it and reached his arm over you doing it first.
well now you just had to follow him home!
kidding!
kidding!
kidding!
Haechan
You had 10 stops before yours, and you were sitting in front of the lit up board that tracked the stops.
your roommate got on usually 5 stops after you to join you otw home so you weren't worried about missing the stop
You put headphones in and leaned your head back to escape the harsh bright lights of the train.
30 minutes pass and you open your eyes to your roommate sitting on the side opposite you with a devious ass look on her face
the rest of your body wakes up from your power nap and become aware of the weight on your head and your arms
you had fallen asleep and wrapped your hands around the arm of the guy next to you..
and you had rested your head on his shoulder...
what the FUCK DO I DO NOW?
A Midst your panic you notice the weight on top of your head....
HE HAD FALLEN ASLEEP ON YOU????
you slowly snake your hand out from his arm and check your phone.
you had 67 notifications in your groupchat...
opening it, you find 7 pictures of you and this literally STRANGER asleep on each other.
waitttttt.... whys he kinda hot......
this actually may not be bad!
love and affection FOR THE FREE?
lemme take my ass back to sleep
the next time you woke up you had been repositioned now with your head on your friends shoulder
damn how fucking hard did you sleep....
you look around and nap stranger had disappeared
you felt your heart clench at the loss of your momentary wattpad relationship, mourning the hot man who had fallen asleep on you
becoming aware of your limbs again you tighten your grip around your phone and bring it up to check the notifications to find a bright yellow post it note stuck to the screen
"thanks for the nap : ) 999-999-9999"
this was a major win for women everywhere
Jaemin
the bus in the morning was this like devastating liminal space
it was cold
the lights were bright
and you kinda wanted to get hit by the bus
because of how early it is, you usually were one of the only people on the bus
today two stops in a fucking mens model on on the bus!!
sir what are you doing in this metal prison!
he sat in the back on the raised portion while you stayed in the front
you glanced up to look at him again, because.. shit if this was going to be the highlight of your morning you would take it
but when you looked up you made direct eye contact with him
playing off smoothly you did the thing where you kinda look to the side ish
looking back again you make eye contact AGAIN
hello???
as you two hold this prolonged eye contact, he raised his hand and waVED?
yall hear that meowing??? thats just my puss- GUNSHOTS
you wave back and smile your best "Im a innocent girl, but can take it like a champ" smile
and watch as he grabs his bag and stands
ur ass clenches thinking this will be the last time you may come across prince charming, but then unclenches when you realize it is also your stop
Getting up you follow ahead and go to the door exiting. walking down the street in the early morning listening to some fuckass songs trying to make the reality of 8 am classes seem better
when a hand grips your shoulder
21 years of being a woman and also a anxious mess you scream and turn around with your hands up
just to see sexy man from bus!
sexy man from bus what are you doing here?
"i am so sorry, you just didn't here me calling, so I just grabbed you I don't know why I did that, especially you're a woman alone, I don't know why I didn't think of that first?.."
sexy bus man was now rambling
"its ok!!" you say trying to put SBM (sexy bus man) out of his misery
"oh uh, well you left this on the bus, when you got up I think it got stuck on the seat, and i figured since we got off at the same stop I would just grab it.."
rambling seemed to be a common occurrence for SBM
looking down you saw the familiar hello kitty keychain you had on the back of your bag that you spent way to much money on a claw game for in his hand
"thank you sexy bu- SIR"
"..... your welcome"
Chenle
it was 7am on a Wednesday night and bro just got on the train in a pair of sunglasses on.
it was almost never that serious
it was in the morning and you were waiting for a friend and saving a seat hence the double seat with one side with your backpack
the sunglasses walked down the aisle and stopped at your chair.
not even asking, he grabbed your backpack with his grimy hands and moved it to be next to you, then sitting down opposite
you literally felt your eye twitch because like HUH?
"excuse me? I'm waiting for someone, they literally just got on at this stop"
sunglasses perked up the slightest and directed his gaze towards you "I don't see them"
you literally felt your eye twitch again and you chest tighten because of the audacity
your friend at that moment walked into the car, prompting you to point and say "okay well she's here now, you can move"
to which sunglasses shrugged and and said "I'm comfortable, why are you so opposed to sharing?"
you heard your friend laugh in disbelief and your eye twitched AGAIN
Your friend squished in next to you and you ended up sitting across from Sunglasses
your thighs were burning from you sitting tightly so your knees wouldn't brush, and your resolve to stare at him until his exploded was dwindling
with a huff you relaxed and felt your knee nudge his and cried a little inside but dealt with it
When the train arrived you got up and walked out of the seat before he could and went to your bus stop
sitting at the bend you felt a tap at your shoulder and looked up
GASP it was sunglasses! without sunglasses!
GASP why was sunglasses kinda hot!?
GASP wait why sunglasses here?!!!
Sunglasses smiled a bit and put his hand out "I figure I'd introduce myself, since we had such a lovely time on the train together, I'm Chenle"
you could feel how wide your mouth was hanging in disbelief and you stared at the surprisingly well manicured hand in front of you
but deciding against your morals, you shook his hand and introduced yourself
"nice to meet you Y/N, you wouldn't mind if we sat together on the bus right"
Jisung
The train during rush hour was a fucking nightmare, your class ended at 4:50 and the only line that could take you to your apartment from the university is the most popular one
when the door open you pushed in to the train and literally no seats were open.
you gripped the railing and tried to widen your stance a bit to keep stability
the train started and apparently the conductor was having a bad fucking day because he was fucking stomping on the breaks
each stop jolted you so aggressively that you feared for your life and dignity if you were to fall on this here train
after about three stops of fighting for you life, your hand was beginning to be slip from the sweat on the railing and your arm was throbbing from tensing for the last 20 minutes
all of a sudden the conductor hits the break once
...your hand slipping from the railing
and then hits it again a second time
.........you lose your footing
you fall backwards and close your eyes waiting to land embarrassingly on your ass.
instead............
you fall on the seats behind you
you feel a hand out of instinct grab your waist to stop you from falling more and another hand goes on your thigh to stop your legs.
opening your eyes you make eye contact with someone.....who honestly looks more scared/embarrassed than you are??
He looks like a guy around your age and is staring at you with these dark eyes as if you were taking your last dying breath in his lap
"are you okay" he asks sounding... once again more embarrassed than you were!???
"I'm okay! thank you!" you say still sitting bridal style in his lap
neither of you moves
like he still is deadass cradling you right now in public
"uh can I get up...?" you say and you watch his face flush red all over
"OH yeah, I'm so sorry" he says unhanding you
you stand in front of him and grab onto the loop in front of him
and..... you both spend the rest of the train ride avoiding eye contact because you both turn red when you do meet eyes.
______
im going to proofread later pls excuse if it seems like im illiterate
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lycheedr3ams · 9 months
Note
Okay. I just had to tell you that the emotionally unavailable König piece stays on my mf*ing mind. I don't know how but you managed to stir a dragon or corrupt me, I don't know, I need therapy I know but I feel so addicted to that drabble. I've read it over and over again.
Like, the little details how he treats you purely professionally when you're not fucking, how he wraps himself with that condom every single time and doesn't even feel bothered, how he chooses solitude (or someone else who knows) over you whenever he wants, how he doesn't seem to even feel much of anything besides the occasional lust?! It's DEVASTATING and I'm frothing at the mouth. I need help haha
Oh and even the pic at the top, that lonely ethereal unseen message "I dream about kissing you often". Wtf dude. Jesus Christ.
Brilliant. I'm just. Out of words. That drabble is art, thank you for sharing ❤️❤️‍🩹❤️ (Also please wish me a speedy recovery)
i think you have just melted my heart❤️❤️❤️
it is a huge compliment for me when people say they reread my fics. this ask has given me inspiration to do a drabble of the situation from könig's perspective.
warning: this may break your heart too...
part 2 of Relapse
part 3
TW: mentions of NSFW below the cut, self-hatred, könig being kinda toxic, brief brief mention of self harm, mentions of canon-typical violence, obsessive!könig, MDNI and just block me atp
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the moment könig laid eyes on you, the task force's incredibly skilled - and beautiful - sniper, he hated you. or rather, he hated how much he was obsessed with you. he wasn't stupid; he knew how all the men on base would stare at you, the way they'd talk about you as you walked by, not even realizing how good your ass and hips looked in your uniform cargo pants. but unlike most guys on base, he saw more than just your curves and feminine charm: he saw a soldier who gave her all to get to where she was, a soldier who dedicated her entire being to her profession and was damn good at it.
unlike him, you never so much as moved a muscle when you lay prone with your sniper rifle. you never fumbled while you reloaded or looked around anxiously, fiddling with a knife so your hands never felt empty. you interacted with others with ease, never seeming to second-guess your words or demeanor. you were the best shot on the task force (don't tell ghost, though), you had the best concentration, and you were irreplaceable. sure, könig was irreplaceable too: no one had his aura, his physical prowess, or his intensity that made enemies flee the moment he saw them. but to könig, that didn't matter: you were everything he could never be.
he knew - thought - that he had no chance with you. you were secretly desired by almost every man on base, so why would you choose him? the jittery and intense newest addition who was just a little too tall, who fidgeted a little too much, and whose accent, he thought, was a little too thick to be alluring. but he also just hated you. hated to see a little woman like yourself literally living his dream of being a sniper. he was usually assigned to guard you when you lay prone while sniping on a mission, and when könig was sure you weren't paying attention, he would glare angrily at you, staring daggers into the back of your head. his eyes would lazily take in your body, but not in a lustful way. könig hated how still you could lay, how you could just concentrate simply on what was through your scope rather than what was in your mind.
but könig couldn't deny the part of himself that just simply wanted to take you. despite how much he hated your skill, he couldn't deny your soft curves, your pretty smile, or how you always wore your favorite perfume when off duty. many nights when könig lay alone in his room on base, he would furiously jerk off the thought of you while clenching his teeth in self-hate, absolutely disgusted with himself for desiring the person who was everything he could never be. könig also hated the way he would come so hard to the thought of forcing you on your knees, making you take all of his throbbing cock in your mouth, fucking into your throat roughly, punishing you for being the soldier he could never be. he loved to imagine the tears that would spring in your eyes at the burn of his thick cock stretching your throat. but worst of all, könig hated himself for wanting to ruin such a pretty little thing like you.
that was, until you began talking to him. the first time you approached könig, you said you were curious about his knives. he froze, thankful that his sniper hood hid his almost blushing cheeks and agape mouth. but könig couldn't help the excitement of your question. someone was interested in something he liked? with quiet, jittery movements, he quickly took out one of his favorite knives from a pants pocket and shoved it almost right in your hands, talking about it wildly in german before you looked up at him with a confused smile. he blushed under his hood and began to speak calmly and quietly in english about his favorite knife that you now held in your small, soft hands. even when you handed the knife back to him after learning all about it, the warmth from your skin lingered on its cold hilt. könig's eyes widened slightly when he felt just how warm it was, and he couldn't help but wonder what other parts of your body were just as warm, or even warmer.
könig began to grow more and more at ease the more you approached him. the night that your conversation ended up with you naked on his bed, he truly thought he was living a dream. the way your soft, feminine curves lay on his bed in his room, how you looked like an absolute goddess surrounded by his knives and guns lying around, was mesmerizing to him. his hatred of you be damned, könig needed you. so he took you just like you wanted and craved.
but even though you had willingly spread your soft, wet folds for him, könig could never bring himself to voice his desires for you. so the next time he saw you in the hallway, his eyes widened as he slowly approached your form, unaware that he was behind you. könig tried to open his mouth to say something - anything - but his mouth went dry and his throat tightened. so instead, he decided to gently cup your waist as you walked past, and went right towards his room. you smiled to yourself and followed him. könig was grateful that no words were needed between you two.
but despite how much he loved being able to be so close to you, to touch you, to be inside you, he could never allow himself to get too close. könig would've rather slit his own wrist than kiss your glossy, warm lips. you were a succubus, he was convinced. if his lips touched yours, he would have been yours forever. and that was something he could not have, no, not with how his hatred for you still lingered in the back of his mind. but the way you'd look sad about his lips never touching yours would make his heart twitch, just a little. some nights könig was so desperate to feel your skin on his tongue that he would gently lick your neck or your breasts, just to get a taste. but könig was used to living without the things he wanted.
there were many nights when könig was too deep within his darkness to reach out to you. he couldn't bring you down into his self-loathing spiral, or show you his weaknesses. on the nights he walked by you without even acknowledging your existence, he simply couldn't bring himself to look at you. if he did, he knew he would budge instantly and gently touch your waist once again so he could take solace in your warm, soft walls. but no, he would rather drown himself in the abyss of his heart than bring you down with him. you had things to live for: friends, family, incredible skill. but könig only had his guns, knives, and a large hand to wrap around his aching length. he never slept with another woman on base. but you were not to know that.
even more so, könig took to the box of condoms like a lifeline. if he kissed you, you'd have his soul. but if he allowed his cock to be fully surrounded by your warm, wet walls? no, no. you would've tied him to you for eternity. that was something that könig could not have, no matter how much he wanted it. he always made sure that condom was on perfectly, making sure that not a single inch of the skin of his cock ever completely touched your walls. even when he would tease the tip of his cock on your clit, there was a layer of thin plastic separating you. (he just loved the way you would gasp and blush when he did that). könig would never allow himself to truly take absolute pleasure in you, no matter how badly he just wanted to fill your womb entirely with him when your legs were pried open perfectly against his broad shoulders, with his sweaty forehead pressing into the mattress.
but as your relationship - if it could be called that - went on, könig realized that he never hated you. he only hated himself for never being able to be the person he wanted to be. you were everything, and he was nothing. you were caring, friendly, warm. but he saw himself as distant, cold, and aloof. sunshine could never reach the deepest, darkest caves under the earth, he thought. what could könig even say to you now, after you two had been with each other time and time again? what could he possibly say to the woman who unknowingly ripped apart old wounds he thought he had stitched? what could he say to the woman who achieved everything he could not? what could he say to the only woman who had ever shown him kindness, the only woman to have ever let him touch her, hold her, fuck her? so, könig opted to only ever say things to you that were necessary to work with you. he could never treat you poorly, not after the way you unknowingly healed the very wounds you created for him, not after the way you welcomed him into your body like he was an extension of yourself.
it was easier for könig to pretend that you weren't somewhat emotionally dependent on him. he could never pluck the flower whose roots were shallow. he was a monster enough as it is, but to just trample and rip up an innocent and beautiful thing? even he couldn't bring himself to do that. so, könig tried to water you in the only way he knew how, but he guarded his life-giving waters from your fertile womb, and only ever teased you with the nutrients you needed. it was enough to make you come back for more whenever he asked for it, but he couldn't allow himself to take advantage of you, too much. könig wanted to see you grow and blossom, not to be the one to dry you out and wither you.
so könig chose to edge you with his affection whenever he chose, and hoped that you would understand. he hoped that you wouldn't grow tired of the balm he offered you on the nights that he was able to crawl out of himself; the balm that was covered in blood and semen and tears.
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gubbles-owo · 2 months
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For the tail rating: Asbestos (arknights), Ho'oleyak (arknights) and W (arknights)
HEAVY HITTERS RIGHT AWAY, HUH??
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okay, so like. i want to be fair, right? i'm less interested in ranking tails *against* each other so much as I am in appreciating the variety of them. but like. if i had to choose the best tail in arknights. IF WE'RE ALL BEING HONEST HERE,,, yeahhh Asbestie would win this one absolutely no fucking contest. It's long. It's got volume. It's dexterous. It's WET. if you try getting your grubby little paws on the thing she will bear no hesitation in kicking your fucking teeth in for even thinking about it, so on top of all these amazing qualities it is also FORBIDDEN. lord knows there is only one person on terra who knows how it tastes, and I bet she's addicted to it. Asbestos tail rating: i need to choke on it Next up is- wait oh my fucking god jesus fuck. ign christ holy shit.
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sorry to be such a lesbian but. god. fuck. focus here gubby. okay like i said i'm not really ranking tails against one another here, but ho'ol would certainly give asbestos a run for her money. it definitely would win out in the length department, because christ look at this thing
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hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's long as fuck. it's swift and silent, imbued with terrible strength. in her spoken voicelines she DIRECTLY references the doctor (u) choking on her tail. not from her tail or otherwise implying some kind of choke-hold, nonono. ON. this thing is going down your fucking throat and you are going to like it. ...i wonder what it tastes like. admittedly i did not finish lone trail before the event closed, but even from what i saw, the written descriptions of ho'ol's tail. some lucky tail enthusiast had a field day describing how her tail moves about in detail so intricate i can only describe it as fetishistic. and that is a COMPLIMENT goddammit. if this tail does nothing for you then i am sorry bb but there's no saving you. Ho'olheyak tail rating: i need to choke on it. and i suppose with that it's time to bring things back down to earth, because, okay if i'm being honest w's tail is. fine? but like. man given the previous two this just doesn't hit the same way...
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The barbed shape is kinda neat, but in general this thing is pretttttty thin. If you know me at all then you know where i stand on the whole thin vs. phat tail debate, so I can't say W's tail impresses me all that much. Very thin, but very light and I imagine pretty quick. I wonder how sharp the end of that thing really is, but I'd guess that's it's likely safe to touch. I'm still in chapter 6 and admittedly don't know much about W as a character yet, but I imagine she'd either cause petty mischief with it in some way or alternatively get all embarrassed pissed if it's accidentally touched. I wonder what it tastes like. W tail rating: i am probably going to step on it (by accident)
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pe0ple3ater · 3 months
Text
I'm cooking, I can't stop thinking about the three of them. I could keep going to be fair, I have about 600 more words written of this..
Tazercraft/Fit freaky link sex. Save me..save me.
If you asked Mike normally, he’d say that his link with Pac was the best thing that’s ever happened to either of them. Hard to feel lonely when someone’s thoughts, feelings, and sensations are just a thought away. Difficult to let anger simmer and burn away any feelings when it’s balanced by someone else's sadness and overflow of emotions.
Right now, though, Mike has never wished the link would go away more.
He takes off his glasses and runs his hand down his face, sighing softly and shivering yet again at the phantom feeling of hands on his body. He breathes slowly and tries his hardest to block out Pac’s physical feelings while still keeping a close eye on his emotions, ready to take over at the first sign of discomfort. Pac’s never been good at speaking up for himself, so Mike normally tries to stick around and make sure he’s okay. Especially now, especially with a new partner.
The difference between right now and every other time Pac’s had sex is that Pac is not trying at all to block the physical sensations leaking through. It actually seems like he's pushing them more onto Mike. Normally, his focus is split between keeping Mike away from that and enjoying the moment. Right now, though, it seems that he can’t be bothered.
Pac
It feels good doesn’t it Mikey?
Yes now can you please stop, I’m trying to get things done
Pac doesn’t respond, and the feelings don’t lessen at all. Mike breathes sharply at the feeling of fingers clumsily exploring a cunt that Mike doesn't have. It's a weird feeling, a phantom wetness between his legs. He can feel Pac’s pleasure and smugness radiating off of him through their link. Mike pushes away from the table he’d been working at and lays his head over the backrest of the chair. He breathes slowly and his hands shake as the feeling of being stretched becomes more intense. Fucking Pac, fucking asshole.
Pac I’m serious
Just enjoy it, feels so good
Mike rolls his eyes and pushes his displeasure through their link. He’s hard in his boxers, an aching heat that he knows Pac can feel just as much as Mike can feel Fit pressing a third finger inside of him. It seems a little unnecessary to Mike, there’s no way Fit is big enough to warrant such intense stretching.
He can’t do anything but sit and deal with it so he might as well have some fun as well. It's far from the first time they've done something like this.
Mike closes his eyes and pushes himself more fully into Pac’s head, forcing his way into his consciousness. The feelings instantly become 100% more intense and he cusses softly, grappling for control of some sort. Pac makes space for him and Mike finds himself staring through Pac’s eyes. He glances down and heat curls in his stomach.
Jesus christ
He’s so big right?
Pac groans out loud when Fit slowly starts to press in, Mike’s hand flys to the tent in his boxers and presses down. The movement only intensifies the pleasure Pac feels in return. Fit looks up and meets their eyes finally and blinks slowly, before laughing a little as a smile spreads across his face.
“Oi Mike” Fit greets like it’s nothing and Mike feels giddy excitement curl in his chest, courtesy of Pac. At the sound of his name on Fit's lips, Mike spits in his hand and wraps it around his cock. He squirms.
He wants you here just like I do
Shut up Pac
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