#ive also been quite busy so theres that
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tbh i wanna write for skz again but im honestly . so lazy . im sorry
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HMMNGGGSHSHHSHD IM SO LATE TO THIS BUT THERES SO MANY THINGS IVE WANTED TO SAY FOR SO LONG AND IVE JUST BEEN TOO DEPRESSED OR BUSY TO DO IT
I did just re-read the chapter, hazbin/helluva hyperfixation is gone y’all I’m back and ready for more.
Okay so, a couple of things I noticed. Let’s start there.
Throughout this chapter, it really is heartbreaking to see how Izuku regards one for all as Allmight’s power, and therefore a disrespect to him to give that away. Which is quite frankly insane given the nature of what the power is, but regardless it still shows me just how deeply he still cares for and admires allmight.
It also makes the transfer Izuku makes to Katsuki in the heroes rising movie all the more intimate; izuku wouldn’t just give the power to anyone, if not for himself (which is also clearly due to that fact since he still sees ofa as the thing that makes him a hero, not his characteristics), then simply out of respect for allmight and his legacy.
It’s just the anger you can see, feel in those words as he demands to know why. I’ve personally been in the boat of “Izuku dislikes Kudou immensely bc he hasn’t proven to be heroic and amazing like Katsuki has, and also he insults him a lot why would he like him”, since Izuku does genuinely have self respect (a common mischaracterization imo), he’s just also more forgiving and faithful to those he admires or loves (or both).
SPEAKING OF SELF RESPECT AND MISCHARACTERIZATION!
I want to highlight the words “But even so, this boy refuses to throw in the towel”, bc it’s such an important part of Izuku and his character.
He isn’t overly self sacrificial, he isn’t a masochist, he isn’t even a martyr—especially not a martyr.
Izuku is stubborn. That is not the same thing as wanting to constantly die for others; izuku is like Katsuki, he wants to fight for others. Giving up just simply isn’t in his morality.
And if “giving up” also includes letting someone die or failing to save someone out of his own negligence, that’s not because he wants to die.
I can’t explain how much the interpretation that Izuku wanting to die, even for others, is so fucking out of character. Izuku is stubborn, he’s stubborn in the way that he won’t just fall over and let the ground take him. Given the circumstances, Izuku would fight for his life just as he would fight for another.
THIS HAS BEEN THE CASE SINCE, I DONT KNOW, CHAPTER FUCKING ONE?
“Idiot! If I’d really jumped, you’d be charged with bullying me into suicide!! Think before you speak!!”
“Idiot…”
Like he’s so unaffected by the awful comment outside of being angry at the DISRESPECT of said comment. This is why all those damn suicidal Izuku fics have always felt so ooc. Izuku isnt a moody, brooding ball of depression, he’s a stubborn, courageous, and angry ball of depression. There is a difference.
Even before this, he literally attempts to say something or fight back to Katsuki, honestly it looks like he’s about to punch him here.
The only reason he DOESNT is bc HE DOESNT WANT TO GET HIS ASS BEAT
Btw for anyone who has or ever will be in Izuku’s position, punch him. I love Katsuki But hit him in the fucking gut. If you get your ass beat at least you can say you can took it like a champ.
Speaking from someone who regrets not punching three girls who were trying to gang up on me in middle school🫶🫶🫶
Anyway, I’d argue that Izuku not taking Katsuki in a fight was made out of self preservation, something he very much has.
And last but not least, we get to this lovely fucking page.
First of all…
Hm, ain’t that strange?
I’m not saying it’s fully a parallel, I’m just saying it’s something to consider.
Especially with the context that I don’t think Izuku feels shameful here.
He’s been a hero who didn’t look like one once before, I’m sure a snide comment through Shigaraki is nothing in comparison to the literal hundreds of civilians afraid of him.
Or, even more interestingly, what if he’s shameful of it, and okay with that? Now THATS some control over your emotions. This is demonstrating the very thing Banjo told him in the first place; using his emotions to fuel him. Let himself live with them, breath with them. They exist, and they hurt, and that’s fucking okay.
But it begs the question…. Why bring attention to it?
Clearly horikoshi WANTS you to see that Izuku is the one who looks like the monster now. He even looks devil like, blackwhip coming out of his back the way it is just feels like wings.
But maybe… maybe this is how he stops sweeping problems under the rug. Maybe this is him, Izuku, at his most animalistic form. Him. At his core. This is the Izuku he doesn’t want people to know.
The faceless, long clawed, oozing black monster.
He’s a kid who can take a fucking beating. He’s not Deku the useless doll, nor is he Deku the hero. He’s simply Izuku.
And you know what’s even more likely?
The black pit of anger that Shigaraki has formed, fueling his uncontrolled emotions and anger and despair, with the light tear showing something underneath…
What if, this was Izuku’s black ball of anger and shame, except this one is escaping his body, pouring out and showing all of that for what it truly is. Pent up rage, uncontrolled emotion, anxiety and shame, all mixed into one hell hole of a person—but a ball that can be molded, controlled, torn apart from the inside out.
See, the same way Kudou tears at Shigaraki’s mental breaking to see what’s underneath, so have the ofa users for Izuku. Slowly, but surely, the people in Izuku’s life have, while created that ball in the first place, also worked to destroy it. The final piece of the puzzle is for Izuku to choose to let it happen, and he is.
Learning to sit in one’s fear, doubt, hatred, anger, sadness, grief, happiness—without that emotion having to be something, simply something that flows through you, that you can choose to act on or not; this is where Izuku’s arc is coming to its tipping point. We are nearing the climax, I can feel it.
#bkdk#midoriya izuku#mha deku#bkdk brainrot#bakudeku#bnha deku#bakugou katsuki#mha analysis#deku midoriya#IM FUCKING BAXK BITCHES#I’ve been trying to write this for. not joking. two weeks.#like I have three different versions of this meta that I scrapped completely#they all have their own cool ideas tho so maybe I’ll come back to those#have a good fucking night and happy Valentine’s Day!!!!!!!
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finding love / kim mingyu
a/n: mingyu brain rot bc i dreamt of him last night and ive never felt so loved 😭😭😭😭 first fic of the year! not proofread bc im too lazy. Enjoy🤍 do tell me if u enjoy this??? Hello???
wc: 1.1k // just some musings about love // fluff // super very soft // i dont think theres any warning except that i want him NOW.
[ ♤♤♤ ]
You don't know love until Kim Mingyu.
It's not anything as dramatic as you not believing in it. You just really haven't found the right person, nor have you been trying to look for one. Which is why it's a wonder that you end up with someone as wonderful as Kim Mingyu.
Your meeting with him wasn't anything special either. It's nothing out of a fiction; it's not exciting and it's not magical. It's just you, being Chan's friend and introduced to the members when he invited you to their concert and you visited the backstage once it finished.
It wasn't an instant click either, you just ended up talking individually somehow and the relationship progressed as time passed by.
You don't know love until Kim Mingyu.
He holds your hand when you're afraid even if you don't say anything.
He holds your hand when you're afraid even if he's afraid.
You both hate horror movies with passion, but once in a blue moon you two would challenge yourself just to see if it has changed. Every single time Mingyu would brace it and watch through everything just so he can tell you when to close your eyes and when it's okay to open them again.
You don't know love until Kim Mingyu.
He would listen to everything you talk about. From your complain about your coworkers, to your random ramble about some stuff you see on Instagram reels.
He listens.
He always does.
Because one day you're talking about how it's been quite some time since you've eaten lasagna and the next dinner Mingyu bakes lasagna for you himself.
He listens.
Because when you mention once in passing to your friend, to which Mingyu only listens partly to because you're on the phone and doesn't realize he's already awoken from his nap, that you've always wanted to try snorkeling, Mingyu arranges for it immediately once he finds a suitable date for you both.
You don't know love until Kim Mingyu.
He finds time to contact you in midst of busy schedules, and always tells you beforehand if he's going to be too busy to reach out in any way. You've told him plenty of times that you understand and that he doesn't need to reassure you everytime, but you've also told him once long before you started dating that you're the type to welcome words of assurance more than anything.
So he continues to reassure you everytime he can.
“What do you think about this?” Mingyu asks, yet again in another set of outfits.
You don't know shit about fashion, and you think Mingyu looks good in everything because he knows how to dress himself well. This is something that he's aware of, but he also likes your validation so you always try your best to say anything other that “You look good” and “I like this better than the previous one”.
“I think… you know I like it best when you're in black so I'm not sure if your current outfit is actually better than the black one or not.” You say sheepishly, to which Mingyu laughs at.
Your heart skips a beat at the sound of his laughter, something that hasn't changed despite having dated him for almost a year now. He makes his way to you and engulf you in a hug, whispers something that sounds suspiciously like “you're so cute” though he doesn't admit it because you don't like being called cute.
“Hmm.. Maybe I should go for the black one.” He says as he looks at himself in the mirror once again.
“What? No! Wear what you think is best. You know I have zero sense of fashion.”
“You like it, though.”
“I like you. You know you can wear the ugliest shirt out there and I'll still like it.”
Mingyu freezes and you see the tips of his ears turning red. You don't always say your feelings out loud, and when you do, it always hits a soft spot within him. And for all the cheesy comments Mingyu always parades to his fans, he's actually bad at receiving them himself.
You would usually jump at this opportunity to tease him, but you're feeling especially soft today, so you walk up next to him and tiptoes to kiss his cheek.
“I appreciate your sentiment, but don't trust me this time around, okay?” You chuckle and cup his warm face before dropping a peck on his lips.
“Alright…” He presses his lips together and goes for another kiss. “You'll really like everything…?”
And as much as Mingyu reassures you, you reassure him back.
“I like you. So you can wear anything, and I'll like it as long as it's not something weird like a dragon costume or something.”
Mingyu succumbs with a shy smile and hides his face in your neck.
You don't know love until Kim Mingyu.
He's brought you happiness that you didn't know existed. He always makes your bad days good and your good days even better.
You automatically look for him when something makes you laugh, a part of you always wishes to share your happiness with him no matter where he is. You also look for him when you're not feeling your best, because one look and Mingyu knows you need him beside you, his arms enveloping you to ground yourself to him, and his deep voice reminds you that things are going to be okay.
“Does it bother you?” Seungkwan asks one day. You, him, Mingyu, and Seungcheol are chilling in Mingyu's dorm.
“What?” You return his question, getting more comfortable on the sofa. You're leaning against Seungcheol's shoulder, as Mingyu is too busy playing something on his phone and you don't want to restrict his movement by leaning into him.
“The… you know. Whispers. What people say?”
“About me and Mingyu?” You make sure. Your relationship isn't public, but you know some people in his company doesn't exactly approve of his choice of a girlfriend even though their opinions don't matter.
“Yeah…”
You hum as you look at Mingyu, sitting comfortably on the floor near Seungkwan. He comments on how random the younger guy's question is, but doesn't seem too bothered by it.
Something pleasant settles in your chest as you continue looking at him, your smile growing when the answer to Seungkwan's question pops in your mind.
“Not really, no.” You turn to him with a smile, your voice firm with security. “I know Mingyu loves me and that's enough.”
You don't know love until Kim Mingyu.
Because he loves you with everything he has to offer and beyond, never once failing to let you know his feelings haven't wavered.
Because you want to do everything for him even if you're not able to, your heart always finding a way to be with him even when he's not next to you.
#my hand hurts writing this on phone lol#the mingyu brainrot is real#mingyu fluff#mingyu scenarios#mingyu fic#seventeen fluff#seventeen scenario#seventeen au#mingyu au#seventeen scenarios#seventeen x reader#khione.fics#svt fic#svt imagines#mingyu imagines#svt fluff
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I have a request! I love the thought of child mammon being a lil brat who’d would of course also have maid’s and servants who he treats like SHIT.
and I had a thought of maid/babysitter reader x child mammon (IN A PLATONIC WAY OFC) where mammon follows and bugs reader around a lot and before they knew it y/n is his babysitter.
he’d still be a brat to them, but only semi nicer. And would cry and throw tantrums when they wouldn’t play with him or were too busy to do so.
it’d be cute that when he’s an adult reader is still around and he keeps them around.
Haven’t written inna bit :p my bad guys!!
Platonic!!Readers Gender is not mentioned, reader is an imp
Why did you agree to this.All the money in the world was not worth whatever this is.
“Im hungry!!!”The little demon (literally and figuratively) yelled while pulling your tail
This is the SIXTH TIME HE HAS SAID HE WAS HUNGRY. IT HASNT BEEN AN HOUR.
Feeling your eye twitch, you sigh and pick up the fussy brat, “Yes my Lord” you huff carrying him to the kitchen yet again.
Yup. Normal day.
-Honestly its not as bad your just being a lil over dramatic..
(Its bad)
-BUT its not as bad atleast😋😋(he has and will throw up on any other helper, not u tho)
-lucky
-the other maids genuinely hate you cause the little shit gives u less shit when your in charge of him
-u dont even remember how or when you became his favorite
(You made a *favorite sweet dish* that he ate. Was not for him but convinced it was)
-He likes eating but makes trouble for anyone else feeding him, but with you? He’ll eat without a second question
-will spit out the food onto anyone else
-no airplane does not work
-not its not that he doesnt like the food
-he just hates everyone(but you)
-refuses to sleep if its not you tucking him in
-its hell when you have a day off he literally bit someones arm (almost tore it off- also he probs has rabies smh)
-They cant exactly NOT give you day offs but oh my god do they DREAD IT
“i want [Name.]” the young sin pouted angrily at another female imp,”Im sorry my Lord but today is their day off-“ he starts wailing like a banshee
-theres cooks obviously but he likes your cooking more
-for some reason-
-makes you watch cartoons with him(Will pull ur horns if u fall asleep)
-he actually really likes your horns he thinks their cool
-hes such a young demon but hes such a HEADACHE but you cant complain as much cos atleast your a favorite…
-dont try to quit. They wont let you. Like genuinely they’d rather die again then let you go cos mammon is literally gonna go feral??!
-he loves u,almost a little too much….
-even after he grows, nothing changes, still a little(big.) piece of shit
-he still loves ya! (Wld rather die than admit it)
-Keeps ya around , congrats your his secretary now!!!!
-he genuinely does see you as a parental figure but wld rather eat shit than admit it
________________________________
IM SO SORRY FOR RANDOMLY DYING?? I hate drama and shit happened smh, will try to grt back into it, if i dont do your request ive either not seen it, dont wanna do it, or have done something similar,
-Memo<3
#helluva boss mammon#helluva boss#helluva boss mammon x reader#mammon x reader#helluva boss season two#helluva boss x reader#helluva boss season 2#mammon#.memospace
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Part of me kinda wants to stop DMing my first and current campaign? IDK just need to vent
So, brief expo.
like many, got into CR during the pandemic (mainly due to "The Legend of Vox Machina" which lead to me actually bingeing the all 3 campaigns)
During which time a friend (who was in my immediate friend group but like the rest of my friend group, i didnt really feel close to) told me that he was really into CR as well.
As a fresh new critter, i was stoked. Was able to share my blossoming love of CR with someone (FINALLY!) during which we both mentioned how D&D looked so much fun and that it would be really great to be able to play and ooo what if we got our friends together and played.
After which we discussed, if we did, who would be DM? Seeing as how none of our friends really played D&D our talk lead to either my friend or me and after asking the question "Which do you think you would prefer more?" It was clear i would try my hand at DMing (i like lore in games, and i like storytelling, and im a tad bit of a control freak at times, lol)
Anyway, we eventually got in touch with our close knit of friends, and though i intended to be a standard 6 we suddenly had an 8 party party (and that was with me having to tell even less close friends there wasnt room).
Feeling it would still be manageable (as there was precedent that i could pull inspo from, CR) i began planning a rough idea of a campaign and working with my friends to create their characters and running a session 0 so we were all on the same page. You know standard stuff.
-Fast Forward to current date and time-
It has its stressful moments, but i still am able to enjoy the time with my friends for the most part (though theres a lot of times were ive never felt lonelier)
Which brings me to the whole point of the post, my need to vent to the void about this loneliness.
Nobody really gets in touch or interacts with me at all. Not to talk about the campaign or even collab on their characters. The most i get are occasional critiques about how i could have done something better couple sessions prior and request to add another person to the 8 person party. When we have sessions, people show up late quite often, leave early quite often, have to cancel as they have other things they are doing (even though we planned and scheduled weeks prior) and even when people are there they somtimes feel like they arent always present.
i already feel extremely distant from all of them as they all live closer to each other while i live on the totally opposite side of the state and theyve known each other way longer than i have, but the minimal interactions they have with me, the DM/GM of all people, just continues to add to all of it
I know we all are busy with our lives, and that compared to those things D&D is really not that big of a deal or important. And i get that, it is just a game afterall, but it still manages to hit pretty hard
I've communicated my feelings through our time of this campaign, if im being honest, maybe not this indepth. I mean, its partially because i barely see or talk to them (again life gets in the way) but also because i feel extremely guilty for putting this kind of tension to something we are all supposed to be enjoying and relaxing to.
Its especially painful as most recently 2 players, who said they would get in touch with me about changes possibly being being made to their characters, never got in touch in anyway shape or form, and its been about a month now? And session is in a week...i didnt even get much as a reply back.
Idk, its been almost about a year now and i felt i just needed to get this out somewhere other than debating myself.
Thanks for listening tumblr.
#D&D#Dungeons and Dragons#venting#vent post#its just a game it really isnt a big deal#feels pretty lonely though#not what i was hoping for
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i got souyo brainworms again and i gotta share some thoughts i have
this ones a long one so ill put a 'keep reading' thing here just in case yall dont wanna scroll past a wall of text
basically some headcanons about a healthy mix of chad narukami and normal yu, injecting loads of gap moe into this guy
(and it eventually devolves into some weird semi-story because my brains really spiralling here)
okok so, hear me out, chad narukami isnt that bad as an idea...? maybe as a more calm iteration, just another layer to yu
in the p4 manga, we get to see some of yu's backstory. (its been a while since ive read it so i might get some details wrong but) his parents are very busy people, always working and moving around, so yu's always moving around with them
because of this, hes a very independent but also lonely kid. poor guy doesnt talk much with his own mom and dad, and he never really have a good enough chance to form lasting friendships
so when he moves to inaba and starts making friends there, hes like 'oh i really want to keep these guys around...' so he starts putting up a bit of a persona (hah), some cool, unfazed guy that everyone can rely on thinking thats what people might like more. to his credit, it works pretty well, but its a bit stifling for yu himself. hes never had this many friends though, so he'll keep it up
we all know yosuke admires him quite a fair bit as is, just as a dependable friend and a strong leader. he looks up to yu in these aspects, thinking hes basically the perfect guy. (and lets never unpack that thought.) talented, charming, 'gets all the ladies', that kind of stuff
at some point its just the two of them, maybe walking home from school or something, yu gets pretty comfortable and his facade slips a little. maybe he says something completely silly, or heavens forbid theres a stray cat along the road! ("awww look at the little guy, cmeree, pspsps- oh- ahem- uh, its pretty cute...") it surprises yosuke quite a bit. he's thinking about it a lot as they part ways, it was... definitely a new side to his partner, but its also not a bad thing...
after that, yosuke starts noticing more small things about yu. whenever he invites anyone to share his lunch, its always something they like. whenever the IT are talking, he makes sure no one feels left out. he likes cats, a lot more than hes willing to show, and he loves nanako a whole lot too. his partner's... a bit of a softie under that calm and collected vibe, isnt he?
(alternatively, it'd be really funny if the entire IT knew? like "yeah, hes got a straight face all the time and sparkles fly around him whenever he strikes a pose, but hes got a dedicated schedule for hanging out with us and hes always asking when we're free. hes a big puppy, really.")
anyways, yosuke tries to encourage him to show more of this other side of him. stuff like "c'mon, we'll think you're cool either way!" and yu at first is a little hesitant, so yosuke suggests he just try it out with him
he feels some pride about it, because hes the first to learn about this side of yu! his partner trusts him the most, hes the most comfortable around him! (whats this strange other feeling? hm. dont like that.)
yu takes a little more time with the others, but theyre very welcoming about it nonetheless. specifically, they find it very charming! (making cute shapes in your bento? sewing cute stuffed toys with kanji? playing with literally every single stray cat you lay your eyes on? hell yeag.)
of course the facade doesnt completely shatter, because some parts of it are still true to yu. its just that he'll now crack the dumbest joke youve heard in your life with the same old straight face
(aaand now to derail for the sappy stuff huhuhu)
because yosuke's usually the first to be exposed to whatever new shenanigans yu's up to, eventually he starts getting some... weirder things. he brings some of it up to the other IT members and he looks insane, like:
"what? he hasnt been giving you guys origami?"
"why would he? i mean itd be cool, but thats just his part-time job isnt it? hes probably sick of paper cranes!"
"cranes... haha, yeah..." (as he thinks about the row of stupid paper animals sitting on his windowsill)
yu over time starts getting real sweet with yosuke, and he kind of gets the feeling he should just... keep this to himself...? especially when he doesnt see him acting this way with anyone else, and a small part of him wants to keep it to himself. all of this, just for him.
but that would be kind of gay, wouldnt it? hes not gay, is he...? he gets pretty happy whenever yu smiles at him, whenever he does something for him, but its just because he appreciates him as his partner... right?
eventually it all comes to a head when yu invites him to that... that spot high up in inaba. (ykno the one, its got the railing and shit.)
yosuke's climbing the hill, wondering whats yu gonna tell him, and at the top he sees him already waiting there as the sun's about to set on a nice breezy day
he kinda jokes a bit about it, like "damn did you ask me to come here now for the atmosphere?" but yu's strangely quiet
so they kinda just stand in a bit of an awkward silence before yu clears his throat... and confesses to yosuke.
...
they just. stare at each other for a bit. yosuke's at a loss, heat slowly rising in his cheeks, because what the hell?
and then yu explodes into a flustered mess, bumbling about "hey yeah man you dont have to accept if you dont wanna, i was just saying things yknow? you dont really have to-"
yosuke cuts him off, sighing a little. he tells him its okay, hes kinda had a feeling he felt the same way but he wasnt ready yet... and now his partner's confessing to his face, he cant really put it off anymore, can he?
("by the way, did you plan this? like, the timing and everything?"
"i... had a hard enough time saying 'i like you' with a straight face as it was, i kind of had to..."
"... ah.")
#ive never done this kind of headcanon dumping before so it feels kind of embarrassing???#like my attitude going into this was “hell yeah! im gonna expand on yu so much because he has a lot of potential and i adore him!”#and i came out of it thinking like how i always do#sappy fluff and making dolls kiss 🙄#i cant even guarantee ill remember my own damn headcanons bc ive always been one to prefer lighthearted silly stuff#hence me avoiding writing dialogue when i can... especially that confession bit#eugh...#anyways i just hope yall enjoy my thoughts haha#persona 4#souyo#yu narukami#yosuke hanamura#farts and sharts
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omg can I hear about your ocs im curious
!!!!! yes of course!!
(im warning you this is gonna be Long bc i cant summarize things aldksk)
okay so first theres zayu. shes actually my dnd character and basically her whole story can be summarized in: shes a demon too good and pure for this world. she is such a lovely person an absolute sweetheart who is always very kind and whose mission in life is just having a humble life trying to help others in need as much as she can. but yeah you read it right. she Is a demon so the people from her homeplace didnt like her personality at all and they ended up kicking her out from hell. however some people thought that was a weak punishment and are now after her to make her pay for her "crimes" (the crime in question being a too good person yeah) so zayu is now travelling around around the world enjoying her life as she had never been able to do before and always moving from place to place to avoid the other demons that are chasing her. also this isnt really relevant to her story but i have to say she is very ourple (light purple skin and dark purple hair 💜)
the other characters i mentioned on that post are from an original story i began writing quite a few years ago and that i never finished..... i havent touched it in soooo long but its the only one og story ive started that i really want to finish some day. it takes place in a medieval royalty fantasy setting where theres a continent with many kingdoms. the main characters are from two of these kingdoms which have quite a close relationship
one of the kingdoms has 3 princes: auron (oldest), crysta (middle) and davel (youngest). given their birth order, auron is the heir of the kingdom so was taught mainly politics and necessary knowledge to rule the kingdom as the next king. crysta was raised to be a leader in the army forces so she is now the captain of the royal knights. and davel being the third child and since his siblings already learnt the main disciplines he was taught how to use magic, which is an ancient power that is quickly disappearing nowadays so there arent many people who can cast magic in this universe
on the other kingdom we have a pair of twins: alrick and lavianna (also shortened as lav or lavi) as the prince and princess. alrick was born first so he has always spent most of his time studying and preparing to be the next king while lavianna has had an easier and less busy life in this aspect
as i said both kingdoms have a very close relationship so both families meet up a lot. davel and lav have been best friends since their early childhood and being both the youngest from their families they had a lot of time to play and spend together. both are easygoing and they have the same age and kinda similar personalities (davel is charismatic and adventurous but also lazy when it comes to his studies and lavi is cheerful active and innovative) so they get along very very well. so well that their parents got the wrong idea and used their good relationship to engage them together in an arranged marriage against their will wanting to strengthen even more the alliance between their kingdoms. none of them like each other romantically but even if theyre shocked at first they let things be bc they arrive to the conclusion they prefer to be married to their best friend than have their parents arrange another marriage with an stranger instead
however! there is someone who isnt quite happy with this announcement and thats alrick. he hasnt had as much time to spend with davel in his life as his sister and he is also much more reserved as a person than her but truth is he is jealous. jealous of davel for all the freedom he has (contrary to him who has many responsibilities) and jealous of lavi for being able to spend so much time with davel and for being now engaged with him. bc alrick has a huge crush in davel but no one knows, not davel (who is very dense to these things (actually arospec coded)) nor lavianna (she is a bit suspicious but doesnt know anything for sure)
as for crysta she has a really close relationship with her brother davel and loves to tease him a lot but she isnt that much close with the others. she is a really cool butch lesbian knight who really worries a lot abt her people and has a soft spot for davel and will do anything to help him in any situation
auron isnt very relevant to the story but well. he is already married and just had a child too and is like the perfect prince son soon to be king
and now to end im gonna just to tell you a bit abt the plot. the thing is that one night alrick wakes up and discovers that everyone in his castle has been petrified. the castle workers his parents even lavianna. all of them except for him. so he does the only thing he can think of and rushes to the neightbour kingdom to ask for help. there, davel crysta and their family talk abt what happened and thought abt a way to reverse what seems to be a magical spell that has petrified the people in the castle and the three of them part on a journey to find more answers and a way to reverse the spell
and well thats more or less it!!!
#ask#mutuals 💜#i also have some long notes for the lore of this universe and a general outline of how the whole story would develop until the end aldksk#but yeah.... i have to come back to writing it some day i really like this idea and these ocs......
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hi lovelies, i know ive been in and out of here and im really sorry for that🫶🥹 just wanted to make a little post addressing some things going on, not on tumblr bc idk wtf is going on (if theres something going on) ive barely been on dash or didn’t scroll past more than 5 posts before closing it again because im busy. let me put it under readmore bc i’ll probably ramble🥹
anyways hi!! as i stated before i think, i started a new school and i started working, busy life!! now work has me exhausted, both mentally & physically, so i haven’t been on here much not have time nor motivation to write too much which i’m really sorry for, especially considering i promised. i love writing, i really do but i feel like the spark is gone, maybe it’s because i’ve been non stop writing smut (with occasionally fluff here n there) over the past few months? or scrap that maybe even since last kinktober because i didnt finish that on time either🥹 (this is probably why the sparks gone) don’t get me wrong, i love writing smut but when it’s so much it just makes me feel like eh not another smut fic and especially after work i can’t find the energy to write porn, like i’d love me itto all oiled up in bed but writing it?? (LMAO SORYRRHHR) it’s just idk🥹 i guess i feel guilty for posting a kinktober but never even finishing it or giving you guys shitty fics when i owe you guys nothing and this is just supposed to be a fun little thingie, but i wanna give back to you guys with the handful of people who have supported me all the way, from the start or even over a year, i appreciate it sm and want to give back to you guys🫶 i hope you all know i greatly appreciate it so thank you and i’m sorry.
on that note thank god i put a readmore bc i knew id ramble and this post isnt even about writing mainly LAMSOAOSOS
but anyways work yes!! i work 4 days a week which might not seem like much bc i know there are people who work way more but hey, im exhausted and that is valid regardless. i dont like my job which is ok, i picked it myself and know the consequences but the environment also drains me mentally, won’t get into that though!!
and onto school <3 i fucking love my school, my class, everything, i wish it was more than one day a week. but with school and the holidays coming around, it also means something. it means that i slowly gotta make a big choice that will impact my student life after this and will decide if ill be let into the bachelors im going for or not. which means that i really gotta start taking it seriously and work more on my portfolio, which now obviously will be my main focus, leading back to the writing but ill say that in the end!!
mentally i’m not ok, which is ok. we all have our ups and downs but lately it’s been feeling like a lots of downs, a lot of things play a role in that but i won’t be going into detail about that. i’ll be okay one day, i’m still alive and have a roof above my head Alhamdulillah.
all those things together mean one thing, i’ll be uploading less!! (which i’ve barely been doing anyways LMAO) to the two people that expected stuff, sorry </3, to the others i disappointed, i’m sorry </3
i’ll also be less active, or maybe just not at all for a bit but just know that i’ll definitely come back when things have settled down, hopefully with more motivation and more fics <3 life’s moving forward and so am i bit by bit.
i guess this is quite the dramatic way to announce a hiatus but hey it’s 6am and i barely slept and just rambled to my little space <3 but once again, thank you guys for the support and understanding. i just wanted to make a post so you guys know what to expect and all :)
thank you and have a good day/night!
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helloooo im back 🧸 <3
i had a very busy week you could say.. if you were to ask me what i did specifically i wouldnt be able to give you an answer, haha. my memory is quite bad.
it was quite warm for a few days, so i was able to wear my pretty summer dresses!! i wish the weather would stay warm.. but itll be cold again for some time.
my sweet mutual @zzzzzestforlife tagged me in a challenge (thank u for the tag!!! ill do my best 🩷💕), which im still a bit confused about but ill do my best to participate :)) im not a goal oriented person so instead of setting goals to accomplish ill just make some regular weekly updates until the end of my summer term!! which is why i wont set any amount of days. if were being honest here, its just my diary posts rebranded and me sharing some more details AHAHAH oh well 🥹💦💞
so what did i do this week?
> I finished two short novels: a psalm for the wild-built by becky chambers and the suitcase by sergei dovlatov! i loved them both, i gave both 4/5 stars
> i turned in an assignment for my russian class (my lecturer didnt give me feedback yet, but he praised the entire class for well written texts:)) )
> my friends and i went on an involuntary walk throughout my universitys garden (its huge.. and apparantly has set opening and closing times, we ended up being lead outside haha. momentarily evolved back into monkeys when we walked through a forest)
> i cleaned my room and finally (!!!) had the time to sort everything out. its so much easier to navigate throughout my room now
> today i had breakfast with my friends in a cafe <33 i didnt see them since lent started, so it was nice seeing them in person again. we are planning on reading two books together. though im not sure if theyll stick to dracula since we wanted to read it in english. their english isnt bad, but they also dont use it as often as i do, so it can be hard sometimes for them to follow a plot when its in english
for next week i dont have much planned. i want to finish reading fight club by chuck palahniuk and perhaps start the novel my friends and i want to read together (a good girls guide to murder by holly jackson). theres also a test i have to study for and two writing assignments i have to turn in (japanese and russian, if youre curious).
youtube
ive been listening to this a lot lately while studying :)) its so calming. and it makes me happy to see that i understand almost all voicelines even without the subtitles! 🥹💕 one day..
also am i delulu for dreaming about lil peep on a monthly basis at this point? i swear, every now and then i have a dream where he appears in. last time i dreamt he got out of a car and walked towards me to comfort me. today i dreamt that i watched him film a music video for a song of his. gus is visiting me in my dreams, dropping hints to get a grip, surely 🥹🥹💦
I'm using the borders from saradika and enchanthings!! <3 🧸💕💞
#enchanthings#saradika#20240504#now that i think about it.. im not sure if my mutual tagged me for this challenge or for the picrew one#oh well AHAHAHHA#einfach dauer lost#frieren has infested my mind#dont talk to me about it because i will cry#also if i say that i can relate to frieren its because my time perception is so warped and twisted#my body thinks that ill be alive for the next thousand years hahaha
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nxx team and their organizational apps/methods of choice and how all of this will lead to mc possibly strangling the entire team (affectionate)
wc: 972
this was a joint effort between me and my girlfriend playing headcanon tennis via discord
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mc: Notion and very prettily designed
mc strikes me as a very organized person, when it comes to work stuff, and Notion is a great app for people who like organizing things and also want a relatively easy UI to traverse. theres pages and embed functions and checklists and calendars, mc loves it ALL
and she loves that Notion also allows you to customize how everything looks!! so her Notion looks something like this
having a nice Notion page helps her motivation to get things done. looking at tasks and information in a page thats Pretty can do wonders for the soul and brain <3
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artem: Notion but it's absolute barren barebones
artem is also a very organized person so he enjoys Notion for the same reasons mc does.
however, he customizes 0 decorations. looks like this
barebones, straight to the point. ive always seen artem as somebody who gets visually overwhelmed when a bunch going on in terms of design. and getting overwhelmed is the opposite of what he wants to happen when working, so he keeps it simple
also, hes shit at anything art related and making a Notion page is adjacent enough to that that even if he tried, he would fail horrendously
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marius: Google Workplace but it's made by pax instead, Pax Workplace, pls imagine the image attached is pax themed instead
marius Is somebody who appreciates aesthetics and is good at it, but if it's work, hes not gonna be putting effort to make that look nice, hes got his paintings and art for that!!! and since his work is Pax and NXX (which is Pax funded, i always forget that fact!) he shrugs and uses Pax's system
it's all there anyway, he doesnt have to waste time setting stuff up and time is a Finite Resource in his life and busy day to day schedules
the ony flaw of Pax Workplace isnt rlly inherent to the app itself, but to marius. cuz hes always tryna get everybody else on board in using it too in a joke-y salesman energy kind of way, and if he brings it up one more time, someones gonna SNAP
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luke: just the notepad app that came with his laptop but used in the worst way possible
confession: this is how i organize stuff and im bestowing to luke not just cuz i love projecting on him but also cuz it's in character. in his personal story 3, mc mentioned that luke is such a messy person in his own space but manages to know where everything is anyway. it wouldnt be a stretch to assume this extends to a digital space too
so luke just uses the notepad app
and he keeps everything in only like 2 note files
one is called Work. the other is called Munchies. the first one is all his work notes, investigations, leads, contacts, everything. the second one is filled with all his usual takeout orders.
both of files started filled up with the thing that their name topic is, but then luke got a bit distracted and started forgetting to check which notepad he was putting shit in. so both note files ends up being like a LONG BLOCK TEXT PARAGRAPH of investigation theories and then followed by "manager’s choice large, garlic n cheese large if mc is coming over" and both files are SO GODDAMN LONG because hes been using em ever since he returned to stellis
oh and he added a 3rd new notepad that has nothing in it but the lyrics of the Agent P song from phineas and ferb but he edited it to be about peanut
because thats totally important and needs its own file, duh
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vyn: he just remembers it all
hah, noting things down? who do you think he is, some kind of idiot with a bad memory? aside from mentioning things in his daily audio recordings, he doesnt keep notes anywhere except in his mind. he does it quite well
but he'll never admit that he does this mostly as another odd avenue of superiority over other people. vyn can remember many dates and notes, whereas artem can only---
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and thus: coordinating schedules and information for investigation purposes is hell
mc: okay so ive created a full system on notion. it's color coded, font formatted, easy navigation to sub-pages---
artem, a bit overwhelmed at all the nice visuals: why are there...so many colors....what is happening...
luke: oh ive got a lot of notes for this subpage!!! lemme just get---wait up, i knew i had this info somewhere, i must have just put it in the Munchies notepad---
artem, more confused: the what?
mc: oh god
luke: foooouuunnnddd ittttt //copy pastes his entire unformatted block of text into a subpage
mc: i am near tears, please
marius: why cant we just use pax workplace?
mc: //EYE TWITCH, MOVES TO STRANGLE MARIUS
marius: WAIT WAIT IM SORRY
mc, calming herself: okay. okay.....we just need to schedule some meetings this week, okay?
marius, trying to redeem himself by helping: okay uh well when is everybody free this week?
luke: copy pasted all my free dates for the month!
artem: saturday, whole day after 2pm
mc: same
marius: nice okay, my calendar is also good on saturday and luke's got that too. vyn, where's your schedule?
vyn: in my mind
luke: ...
artem: ....
mc: .....
marius: ......okaaaaayyy so when are you free?
vyn, looking off into the distance pensively: when is anybody truly free?
and then by that point DAVIS has to interrupt the scene for a commercial break!
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new opddmh updates..... like. three of them. crazy. haven't been keeping up as well as usual (acting stuff and work tag teaming my free time and absolutely destroying it) but i have finally started to binge and i truly truly love what u r doing w makoto and miu. so different but still connecting on an in-depth level and balancing eachother out ....... sometimes a relationship is an ex-reality show killing game figurehead and the world's worst teenager fresh out of the hospital against the world. do u have any insights on the way u write relationships and connections or just them in specific that come to mind bc oh my god. please do tell
HELLO AGAIN :]!!! AND HAHAHAH THATS ALL GOOD ive been so busy also FINGERS CROSSED IM ABLE TO GET MY UPDATE SCHEDULE ON TRACK LOL
TALKING ABOUT THIS FIC!!! :] big ole ramble down below lol
(i use the word "partner" a lot here but just know i am not referring to strictly romantic relationships lol)
OHHH GOD. relationship writing advice HMM HMMMMM. it really is very complex bc there are SO many different types of relationships that can be written about ghfdgjh so advice definitely varies!!! i think something helpful that i've learned is that unless you are purposefully examining power dynamics it always helps to view both sides as fully realised characters. very very rarely do you want to have a character who is solely there to agree with their second half and have no personality or history outside of this. i see this happen a LOT with romantic pairings but it's also an important note for platonic pairings as well!! ESPECIALLY if the main focus of the story is on this specific pairing-- it shouldnt feel like one person is a human being while the other is a cardboard cutout whose only purpose is to be there for their partner. again there ARE a few exceptions to this and how it is portrayed but its the main rule i like to stick to!! :]
if i feel like ive written a character who is solely there for their partner something immediate i go to is giving both characters something that separates them!! most of the time this includes fleshing out a backstory thats different from their partner, that might influence the way they see things within the narrative. give them a different hobby, maybe a different friend group! give them a different perspective on the events that are unfolding, a different way of coping that might not be beneficial to their partner!! and remember that it is OKAY for them to not agree on everything!!!! do not be frightened into thinking you need every single relationship in your story to be perfect and unproblematic and completely agreeable, especially for longer narratives that call for conflict
OH AND IN REGARDS TO FANFICTION... piece of advice i try to follow is donttttt try to mold characters into entirely different people just so they can stay happy and agreeable with their partner lol. if theres tension theres tension!! if theyre petty then theyre petty!!!!! even if there isnt conflict and youre writing fluff, you dont have to erase their personalities just to fit them together as a happy couple! sometimes the challenge in writing comes from finding what happiness means for that specific character/pairing, and that may be very different from the typical idea of romance/happiness!!
AND NOW ON TO MAKOTO AND MIU first of all. i am so sorry for making you read paragraphs upon paragraphs of me just rambling nonsense at you GHFDKGSH BUT I APPRECIATE IT!!! and second of all this technicallllyyyy is advice i guess but its WAY more specific now!!! lol
anyways when it comes to writing their relationship most of their dynamic is based off of their differences! opddmh miu is brash and loud, and even though she is trying more and more to filter what she says she still speaks before she thinks and grows restless very easily. opddmh makoto on the other hand cant afford to be brash and loud and thinks quite a lot before he says anything, and is lot visibly calmer. so its fun examining how their differences are able to influence the other throughout the fic!!!! miu NEEDED that calming influence considering the state she was in when makoto found her, i quite frankly have no idea where the hell she would be now if makoto hadnt been so patient and understanding ghfdksghkf. makoto on the other hand is a man chained down by responsibility, so much so that his life has become extremely dull in his eyes just because of how repetitive it has started to become. miu is a serious change to this and offers him some kind of purpose while also reminding him of not only how SCARED he was as a teenager first exiting the simulator but also how unrestrained he had been before the years went by. theres a balance there!!!
but at the same time, there ARE some similarities. theyre both a bit paranoid, and even if miu is more willing to be vocal about her distaste theyre both scared of danganronpa as a company. they also both strive for some kind of peace, even if they have different versions of it-- makoto wishes to be unburdened by the weight of responsibility and his Ultimate Hope persona while miu wishes for stability in her relationships with others, even if she just isnt the best at it. its why i like writing small moments such as the two of them just sitting in the car and chatting or the most recent moment where theyre not talking at all but are still comfortable in each others company-- they dont explicitly tell the other that theyre super happy and at peace but they both subconsciously understand :)
OKAY CUTTING MYSELF OFF!!!! GFHDGFDJ THANK YOU SO SO MUCH <33
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Hello!
(tw mentions of sh but nothing graphic)
I really dont know if this is the place for this, if so simply being able to write this out is probably helpful. I am in a romantic relationship with someone who self harms (were both 19). This was a thing i knew about before we got together, we were both going through a rough patch then and bonded a lot of beinf able to talk about our problems, i think back then i was so busy dealing with my own mountain of problems and thoughts of self inury (that i luckily never followed through on) that worry for someone else didnt even fit.
While all the resources I can find are really helpful im at a bit of a loss now, ive done everything right, i already had expierience with other friends and myself. They are in therapy and are on the path to healing, take good care of the wounds generally and we can openly comunicate about this and generally have been able to do so effectively.
These last few months however theres been more slip ups than before. I know progress is not linear, and its still much a work in progress (this has been an issue for 7 years, 1 year of recovery is obviously nothing). I am incredibly proud of the progress they have made, last year it was twice weekly trips to the ER, so even twice a month is huge already. also know they wont be able to quit or even signficantly reduce the self harm until they move out, since their family is unstable and does everything wrong (gets angry, threatens with ultimatums, generally extremely scared of their scars).
last few times with a slip up its made me freak out too, I have an anxiety disorder which this now triggers (i used to have a slightly better grip on this) I try to remain calm and helpful for their sake, but its mostly incredibly upsetting im not there to help them, and i know being there to talk helps but ive run out of material ways to help. It also feels like it proves my fear that something will always go wrong, which can lead me to have panic attacks. Ive talked about this with them of course and we get through it together, i really want to be better at keeping a slightly leverer head though. I used to have counceling too who helped me, but since i turned 18 and finished school im now on a waitinglist for adult help, and while talking to other friends helps somewhat its still generally makes me panic, sleep badly and sometimes have nightmares. I really love them, whenever were together we bring out the best in eachother and im afraid if i talk about this too much to people theyll tell me to break up with them.
we have plans to move in together for university next year, which im sure will help a lot (i know they wont magically heal then either, but ill be there as a more sturdy support and theyll be able to access ER, etc without being shamed) and ill have a therapist again then too, so its just these coming months that are going to be very rough. I just never know how to calm myself down, i know its not rational (they are hurt but never badly, they always talk to me about it, their psychologist will generally help too) i also know im allowed to feel sad and scared, i just want to be more in control.
back when i had a therapist she used to talk about trying to stay at my own feelings, not getting dragged down into someone else. But i just dont know how to do that, whenever it happens its just so sad and i hate it. No matter how much i remind myself even after ive allowed myself a period to be sad that itll be okay and they are relatively safe and i see them every week it feels so awful. Its not very tennable to ruin my whole night, next day on this every time. sorry this is sooo long but i feel the context is important as ive gone through a lot of advice, thank u tho.
Hey there,
Whilst I think that it is great that you have been able to help this person for such a long period of time, unfortunately it is not always sustainable no matter how much we would like it to be. This though doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try if you want to, I am just trying to point out that unless you look after yourself too and put a bit of a barrier between you and this person then it is likely that things may not change or improve for YOU.
I know how great it can feel when we help another and especially when we see such big improvements for the person we are trying to help and support, but the end line is that we can only do so much until we ourself begin to crumble or struggle a bit (which it sounds like you are to some degree) and so I am wondering if you can put some space between this person and you at all to focus on yourself a bit more and self-care may be of some benefit to you.
In regards to this person, any day of no self-harm is an amazing achievement and no amount of set backs or slip ups/ relapses can take these achievements away from them. It’s important to know that that recovery comes from within and so unless this person chooses to and is ready to focus on their recovery then it is unlikely that things will change for them and they will still be in survival mode. This is in no way your fault, and nor is there much you can do about it as we cannot choose recovery for another person, it has to be when they are ready and choose to try to commit. And even then, it’s quite normal to go back to survival mode and go back and forth between recovery and not, this does not mean they are not still trying, but rather they are just human like everyone of us are. I remember in my own recovery away from self-harm I did go in and out of trying to not self-harm depending on how strong I felt on the day and what triggers may have come up that made me want to self-harm, this didn’t mean I wasn’t trying or that, it was just that I was really struggling and the urges to self-harm were too strong to try and fight them.
So, what can you do?
To begin with try to be patient with yourself and this person and know that even when they seem to not be trying, they actually are. Try to put some space in between you and this person to enable you to look after yourself too. You can do this by practising good self-care (trying to eat healthy, doing some exercise a few times a week and trying to get a good nights sleep) and tyring to have some ‘down time’ where you can simply just think about yourself and do some things that you enjoy doing whatever that may be. I know that you may feel selfish and bad for taking some time out for yourself, but if you don’t look after yourself then it won’t be sustainable to help support others and be there for them if you choose to do so.
In regards to how it can make you feel when this person does self-harm or is struggling quite a bit, as your therapist mentioned to you, try to take a step back and allow yourself some time to grieve or feel sad and try to be kind to yourself – I know how it can feel like a loss to you as well when someone is struggling and self-harms as a result, but in reality it has nothing to do with you and how much or how little you are there for the, it is bound to happen anyway and this in no way reflects on you and how good a job you may be doing to support them through difficult times and days.
I know that you mentioned that it can cause great anxiety when they do self-harm now, and so when this happens, again, try to be kind to yourself and do try to take some time out for you. And I know, this is much easier said than done, but it will get easier though with practice and it may also be helpful to check out our page on calming anxiety and panic as well for some more ideas on different coping strategies.
I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!
I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going OK!
Take care,
Lauren
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🐾🧸I have something to admit. When the boys broke I never listened to their solo work because I was so upset and hurt. But reading your post about Millions and Where Do We Belong? Anywhere But Here... I had to go and listen and just.. Ow. Just ow. Frank is/was so so hurt. So now my questions are
1. What other songs have they written that talk about this hurt?
2. Because Frank wears his heart on his sleeve, do we know if Jamia knew about it?/Was ok with what Frank and Gee had? Cause like.. Frank was very clearly hurt. More so then just friends going their separate ways.
3. What other things have you heard down the grapevine?
4. The 1st reunion show, there was very clearly some animosity/ stiffness/coldness on stage, why do you think it was like this? Like I feel like if they wanted to reunite they would've hashed that all out before hand right? But then covid happened and we wait 2 years and then we finally get to see them again, and they've changed. They're happy again.
sorry this took me so long to respond to !!!! ive been either working or depressed and tired mostly. im glad it was so apparent to you from listening....cause it really is like a slap in the face tbh.
frank has a TON of songs about that relationship, or that at least mention it? i think sometimes his songs reference multiple things but like there are soooo many songs that are at least partially about gerard. weighted (more about the end of the band, at least in part, like i said), stitches, guilttripping, all i want is nothing, diluted, why is love so disastrous?, choke on one another, where are my fucking pills?, underneath it all, possibly i dont know much but i know i loathe you, world destroyer, they wanted darkness, ill let you down, oceans, the resurrectionist, viva indifference, young and doomed (lol), fever dream, the host, basement eyes,ode to destruction, medicine square garden, record ender.....im serious i know i probably sound insane but there is at least one line in all of these songs that i believe are about that. gerard has way less solo stuff first of all, but also just doesnt write about it as much i thnk because its not the heartbreak perspective, from his perspecting at least in millions like hes not nearly as torn up about it so like hes just not giving it quite thhe same brain power, plus his lyrics are more like metaphor and storytelling than strictly personal like franks so it makes sense. but the bridge of no shows is VERY about the band to me.
i tend to try to avoid talking about family members of the band who are not public figures, because i think thats the most respectful option. and that stuff isnt my business. but frank has talked about being in an open relationship at the beginning of the band before, and also theres the swinger allegations. ill just say that i dont think he was ever cheating, physically or emotionally, and that everything was known and communicated.
i think that things were a little stiff at the shrine due to nerves mostly tbh. they hadnt done it in so long and they didnt know what the reception would be. i really think it was all nerves. because i think they absolutely had to put in work to repair that relationship before making the decision to play a show and go on tour. so i do chalk it up to more just being out of practice and being nervous rather than them not being close/friendly at that time. i think theres also a level of like anxiety around being to affectionate/friendly in fron of fans these days and they were still trying to figure out then how they would approach that. because i do think that thats a thing, but sometimes they also slip through that and now they DO show each other affection on stage sometimes so. you know. its a process i guess.
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ahh okay truthfully, as much as i like tumblr i still feel really awkward with it... goodness i feel like an old person that doesnt know how to use social media hfkehfm (like tagging? such an easy way to organize things! but i dont intend to "help ppl find your post" hahaha) but i like rambling to myself a little too much, into a void-like non-void?
anyway i just wanted to talk to myself again about upcoming reading plans hehe! i have about six weeks left before i leave my books and move out for grad school, and its going to be a really busy six weeks too. im really hoping i can finish reading hermann hesse, steppenwolf and elena ferrante, neapolitan novels!!! ahh but i read quite slow and its likelier that i wont be able to finish five books during this time, esp when my brains extra dead and messy while im packing or being with family members. i really hope so tho!!!
hhfh about steppenwolf... only read the authors note so far and ahhhh!!! hesse said that altho anyone can interpret what they read the way they want to, he hopes that his readers wouldnt misunderstand that this book is about man despairing, but rather that it is about man healing and believing. god god god i love hesse i actually havent read that many books by him yet, but im just so excited to finally read this one!!!
okies so i only just finished reading the brothers karamazov today (!!!) but ahh!!!!! seriously my favorite book ever. i wish i had actual words to say about it, now that ive actually finished reading it, but. ah.. words! i really love it a lot and theres just so many lines i wish to never forget. my goodness, the ivan monologues, zosima chapters, and ending speeches at the end of the trial...!!! theyll all forever be with me! ahh theres really too much to say, i think if i wanted to id need to pick one of the many many things from the book in order to talk about it more. i honestly want to bring this book along with me when i move but its so heavy hfjsjf and i have very limited space in the suitcase</3
i think reading about religion and god and everything in general does drive me a bit crazy. from what i know of dostoevsky (very little hahaha), he struggled with faith and believing in god before being a more devout christian. maybe thats why i liked tbk so much. i was just talking about it with my friend earlier! ive.. never been religious growing up but i still have that childish dream wishing that i was. my dads parents were christian and my moms family is daoist, but neither of my parents pushed anything on me, tbh they both didnt have really strong beliefs either. but still now i wish i just had full belief and trust in god, any god or deity.. just please let me believe in anything really. drives me insane. how can you have undeniable, unconditional divine love? i do wish i understood it so well that im able to love everything, but it frustrates me so much that no matter how much im trying to understand it, im not. and i think my interest in philosophy has more to do with figuring out what and how to believe than id like to admit.
i hope no one else sees/reads this but i also kinda hope someone does and gives me book recommendations... books that make me feel like i did during the zosima chapters hahaha
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OMG im soo glad you liked it 💫💫💫
it quite lit the opp for me like i just CANT do happy endings like how do you even write those¿¿¿ a few years back an irl of mine was like hey im writing a jimin fanfic for you what do you want the ending to be like and i was like. kill☺ him☺
idk maybe theres smth wrong w me hehe💀💀
SORRYY IVE JUST BEEN SO BUSY W STUDIES
i might just write it !!!! i just cant figure out how itd begin TT
OMG CAN ANY ONE OF THOSE YNS POSSIBLY BE PATHETIC YN???? (im delusional) (i def dont check pathetic every day to see if theres new bonus content up mhm not me)
We should take turns you should write sad endings for my fics that need sad endings and you should send me your happy fics that need happy endings and i’ll write the end of those- together?! We could rule the world.
ALSO DONT APOLOGIZE I AM LITERALLY NEVER HERE SO IM SORRY ACTUALLY
WRITE IT!!!! WOOOOOOO WOOOO WOOO
HONESTLY I DO HAVE TWO(?) PATHETIC OVA DEAFTS
#two?#i have one… about apartment hunting#and another…. i think there is another#why do i think there are two???#uhhh uhhh#i keep losing my drafts#i just need to write smut for that apartment one though#b: 💫 anon
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hi! just a little update that no one cares about.
my computer got a virus which is why i haven't been able to upload original stuff, since i would use a digital camera and upload it to my laptop. so i hope these pictures of my cat can accommodate for that<3 and also all the reblogs thats been done recently . ive been quite busy with my first job, and homework so theres that too. hopefully if my laptop can be saved i'll update my webpage and it'll be really fun! ive learned to be much more cautious when downloading stuff now! anyways i'll try to do what i used to and post whatever fit i have or whatever art ive make. じやあまたね (haha trying to learn japanese,,,copied that from my small dictionary. so sorry if its wrong !)
#update#personal post#blog post#personal#emo blog#scene#emo scene#scene kid#scenemo#early 2010s#2013 tumblr#2014 tumblr#grunge blog#emo#n3k0 outfitz#n3k0 art#fashion blog#my cat#silly little cat#☁️/🐺/♋️/❄️
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