#its weird that i have such a presence in this space that im getting asks about my Thoughts on fandom activity lol
Note
Hi! Is it cool if you write about reader trying to sneak out of the V tower at night to run away from yandere Vox? To add a twist, reader is also somehow immune to his hypnosis. Love the writing, girl! Keep it up!
thank youuu you guys are so nice, anyways reader being immune to hypnosis is such a good idea omg
cw: themes of manipulation and toxic relationships, physical violence (vox drags reader by their hair)
gender neutral
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
✮₊ ⊹ || vox hadn’t realized that you were immune to his hypnosis until far after he had fallen for you.
✮₊ ⊹ || he didn’t want to force you, he wanted the satisfaction of knowing you truly wanted him, to know that he had won you over fair and square.
✮₊ ⊹ || he did have it as a last resort though, if you ever started to reject or abandon him.
✮₊ ⊹ || see, vox is delusional as fuck. he has this romanticized view of you two’s relationship when in reality either you don’t like him nearly as much in the same way, or he’s coming on too fast and its ofputting.
✮₊ ⊹ || so if you were to break this mold of expectation, vox would obviously freak out and do anything to make you stay.
✮₊ ⊹ || vox also loves having control over everything, so once he realizes he doesn’t have control over you, he freaks out even more.
✮₊ ⊹ || he resorts to threats to try and get you to stay, some empty, some not.
✮₊ ⊹ || you can never tell though. hes a powerful overlord that has control over pretty much all electronics and im assuming all of the things that are in them (socials, private pictures, messages, ect.)
✮₊ ⊹ || if you have any type of media presence he could plant rumors about you
✮₊ ⊹ || he could find and spread leaked photos of you, he could go onto your socials/messages and send/post horrible things, and even more.
✮₊ ⊹ || despite this, you still attempt to run away from him. you weren’t exactly sure where, though. perhaps that weird hotel you had heard of, run by lucifer’s daughter.
✮₊ ⊹ || you didn’t know much about it, but you did know that vox wouldn’t check there and at this point you were desperate.
✮₊ ⊹ || so you packed your bags, left your electronics behind so he couldn’t spy on you, and set off.
✮₊ ⊹ || vox has eyes everywhere, though, so you hadn’t even left the tower before he had figured out your plan and caught you.
✮₊ ⊹ || he was absolutely livid to say the least, pulling you by the hair and scolding you.
“you ungrateful brat! i give you one inch of space and this is what you do? dont you get how much i’ve done for you?”
✮₊ ⊹ || you’re locked in your quarters until further notice. meanwhile, vox is freaking out. if he can’t hypnotize you then how will he ever make you want to stay?
✮₊ ⊹ || he goes back to love bombing you, giving you everything you could ever need.
✮₊ ⊹ || new clothes, of course! specific kind of food? coming right up. the latest tech? why didn’t you just ask earlier?
✮₊ ⊹ || its a weak method, but he’s trying his best! the least you can do is stay.
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
i do requests!
check out my masterlist!
#vox#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel#vox x reader#hazbin vox#vox x you#x reader#yandere!vox x reader
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yes im changing
paige bueckers x reader
(paige x uconn psychology student!reader)
synopsis: with y/n being in a new environment, still facing rejection, how can she bounce back?
masterlist
chapter 8
uconn freedom wall entry #2205
paige and y/n are dating. the uconn wbb went to the football game, and y/n was with them. she was wearing paige’s jersey shirt. they weren’t seated beside each other, but they kept on glancing at each other, i was near their seat. can’t believe a freshman bagged paige bueckers 🤷♀️
comments:
huzkieeees: explained their nonstop bickering
paigefan: NOOOOO
y/n’s heart was beating fast as she read the post. have they not have heard of privacy? what do you mean they kept on glancing at each other?
kk and azzi waited for y/n to respond, getting more curious for what she would say. “its okay y/n we already know.” kk said, to give y/n a “safe space,” with azzi agreeing to her.
“i dont know where to start.” y/n said, she planned on telling the two about what she felt different about paige. “i know ive disliked her, but im not gonna lie, i like her attention. i felt rewarded when she replies back to my shit talking.. and yesterday.” y/n briefly explained.
“WHAT YESTERDAY?” both azzi and kk asked, with their eyes growing bigger with y/n confessing about what she feels toward paige. “when you guys asked me who would i kiss on the team, i thought about paige. it was so weird though, since ive disliked her. i literally can’t sleep yesterday since i kept on thinking about her. maybe my petty acts were disguises to get her attention. i dont know.” y/n explained further.
“the psychology student is finally psychology student-ing!” kk joked, azzi slapping her arm. “seriously though y/n, the others have been noticing about your actions toward paige. you may like the basketball player.” azzi places her hand on y/n’s left shoulder.
“we’re not asking you to make a move quickly, but you should reflect on your actions first boo.” kk added. “maybe, but you and i aren’t always correct. i might just let the flow go. and plus, i do not have energy to respond to any of the rumors. whats true is true and whats false is false.” y/n said, getting up immediately stretching her whole body.
“that’s true. this rumor might be a plus even, paige always gets bombarded with crazy girl and boy fans thinking that they can get a shot with paige.” azzi agreed. after the conversation, the three waited patiently for the others to comeback with their breakfast.
when the rest of the team arrived, they all gathered around the living room or the kitchen area to eat. they opened the tv to watch an nba game. y/n could feel paige’s eyes on her, and paige could feel y/n’s eyes on her. it was a weird feeling for them both, not bickering to each other the second they are in each other’s presence.
everyone’s laughing around, but even to them it was obvious that there was a tension between paige and y/n.
“oh y/n uh here’s a coffee. aub said that you will need it.” paige handed y/n a spanish latte, which was her absolute favorite. when paige gave y/n the drink, their hands touched, which weirdly gave both of them an “electric feeling” the two just shrugged, thinking that maybe it was from the freedom wall post and they just felt overall weird after that. y/n then replied with to paige with a “thank you”, and went to kk and azzi’s corner in the living room.
after eating their breakfast, they all decided to get ready to walk around the campus as their “saturday not-so workout.” it takes 2 hours for the whole team to get ready, hence there is no need to worry about how they just ate.
it was always tradition for the team to walk around the campus during saturdays. they get to visit the buildings and other parts of campus that they dont normally go.
people then started to get ready, with paige announcing to everyone that she has dibs first to her own shower. she got responded with “GIRL JUST SHOWER!” “SHOWER NOW! NOT LATER THEN IF YOU DONT WANT PEOPLE STEALING YOUR SHOWER TIME!” by her teammates. paige rolled her eyes, and walked into her room and closed her door to get ready. the team huddles into the dining area.
“so, what’s our plan for next week?” nika asked the team.
“what’s going to happen next week?” y/n responded with another question.
“paige’s birthday! october 20.” ice answered.
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Saudade.
Warnings: Distrust, being a hostage, mentions of death and murder, being knocked out yet again.
Part two.
Series Masterlist.
~☆~
Your hair had long since dried from your shower as you sat on "your" bed, thinking over everything that has led you to this moment.
You went from a small force user who was taken in by the Jedi and became a Padawan, to a Jedi Knight, to a newly appointed Jedi Master, to a person who went into hiding, then to a hostage for a Jedi killer.
A knock echoed from the doors to your room.
Weird, the Stormtroopers haven't knocked the past few times you saw them...
The doors opened and low and behold, there was a stormtrooper.
"Lord Vader has requested to see you, Ma'am." He stands at attention, looking forward, rather than looking at you.
A tingle went down your spine. This was it. This was how you die. "He does?"
The Stormtrooper nods his head ever so slightly. "Affirmative. He was very adamant. If you refuse, I will have to use force."
You listened to the slightly modulated voice before getting up from your bed. "There's no need...."
You walked over to the door, standing near the Stormtrooper so that he could lead the way. He grabs your bicep with the hand that's not holding his blaster, holding onto you so you don't run off.
He leads you down the hall where a few more Stormtroopers join your walk, marching behind the two of you.
To your surprise, you're not led to another room where you'll meet Darth Vader. You're led to big double doors that require a keycard and password so that they can open.
The stormtrooper you're with does what he needs, and the doors slowly open, revealing the hot atmosphere of Mustafar and the black rocks that sometimes have molten lava seep down them.
Your other arm is suddenly grabbed by another stormtrooper. They both pull you outside, their fingers digging into your arms from their firm grips. You were led away from the fortress that you had recently been forced to stay in. Now you stood in a plain open space. Black rocks covering the black ground.
They let go of your arms and immediately started walking away. "W- Hey!" You turned to face the Stormtroopers, ready to go after them, but a presence stopped you.
The presence is so familiar, making you giddy. Hopeful.
Only its more sinister. Dark
You slowly turn back around, your eyes darting around the terrain.
It felt like he was everywhere.
"You're scared." Another modulated voice speaks from behind you, but this one made it harder to understand the person's real voice.
You turn around yet again, facing him. He was big, standing almost seven feet tall. "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering."
"Still using the Jedi ways, I see." He noted, standing eerily still, his hands clasped behind his back.
"Excuse me?" You're confused, frustrated. He can tell. "Do I know you?" You meant to ask: 'Did I know you?'
He took a step, then another. His aura was so striking. You feel like you're drowning in his aura.
Maybe you could.
"What do you want?" You ask, your voice holding false confidence. "Why am I here? Are you going to kill me now?"
"If I wanted to kill you, I would have left you in that cellar to die." He told you. "I would have made sure you were left neglected and rotting in there. I wouldn't have given you your own chambers and some new clothing."
"Maybe you just want to lure me into a false sense of security?"
He stopped his steps, standing just about six feet away from you. "I get what I want. I don't wait for it. If I wanted you dead, you would be dead."
The two of you stared at each other, neither of you uttering a word. Knowing he was looking at you from underneath his helmet, but not being able to see his face made you uncomfortable, exposed. You knew he could see and feel everything about you, but you can't see or feel anything about him.
"I was on that backwater planet for business." He told you, breaking the silence as he talked about where you lived and were taken from. "Imagine my surprise when I found a Jedi."
He won't tell you that he felt your presence on that planet he marched around on foot until he wandered across your comfy little home.
Hope.
"And now what? You just hold on to me?" You question him some more.
"I do not have to explain myself to you."
"You do when it is my life!"
He stood idle, staring at you with his threatening gaze. You couldn't find a single weak spot within him. His walls were too high. Regret started to fill you, your body full of trepidation.
"You've never had your own life. I'm giving you one." He offers an outstretched hand, his leather gloves reminding you of an old friend of yours. "With me."
Your eyebrows furrow. With him?
"Join me, Y/N L/N."
A breath escapes you. "No." Your voice is firm. "I'm not joining you."
His outstretched hand balls into a fist. "You will."
Your vision grows spotty, darkness starting to grow in random spots. Your legs give out and you collapse to your knees.
"Ngh..." A strained noise escapes your lips before you went down completely, unconscious yet again.
Vaders modulated voice spoke to deaf ears.
"Do not fight me, Starshine."
~☆~
Taglist: @songbirdcannabe @sonnensplitter @divxnee @anakinslvt @sweetcheesecakesblog @artemissunn @valsarchives @slut-4-ani @luvvfromme
#anakin skywalker x reader#anakin skywalker#star wars x reader#star wars anakin#anakin skywalker fanfiction#anakin skywalker x fem!reader#anakin skywalker x y/n#anakin skywalker x you#anakin x you#anakin x reader#star wars#star wars x y/n#star wars x you#darth vader x female reader#darth vader x y/n#darth vader x you#darth vader x reader#darth vader
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would loveeee to see your version of jake!! maybe just something fluffy and domestic, sorry im leaving you to fill in the blanks so much bby ;; <3
thank you for your request lovely ♡ fem!reader
Jake does this thing whenever he sees you like he's trying not to smile —or eat you alive.
Face desperate to stay impassive but eyes giving him away, his lips and the space just above his left brow twitch at the same time, and the pool cue he holds is swiftly given to a nearby friend.
"Now what do we have here?" he asks, sizing you up shamelessly.
You hide your own smile and turn from him. Predictably, Jake follows you from the pool table and toward the bar, where you open your purse for a rumpled ten, the warm summer air ruffling your layered skirt and the air con above battling to keep your cheeks cool.
He covers your hand. "What's with you?"
"What's with me?" you ask lightly.
"Don't tell me you've been this pretty all your life and you still try buying your own drinks?"
"I'm a big girl," you say, flagging down Penny for your usual.
Jake, still predictable, declares it on him. Despite his insistence and his easy compliments, he doesn't look at you as Penny pours your drinks, eyes meandering lazily around the Hard Deck and its patrons like he hadn't just followed you up here.
"I can pay for my own drink," you say.
He still doesn't look at you, but his smile turns smarmy, almost, his tone wry, "Ah, but should you have to?"
"Jake–"
"A first name basis?" He nods at Penny in thanks as she finishes up. A prop for his derision, he picks up his drink and smirks at you from over the rim. "We're getting somewhere."
You place your elbow on the bar and rest your cheek in the cup of your hand, relaxing each feature. You're as unashamed as he was to look at him, though for a different reason, cataloguing the little differences since you last saw him. His tanned cheeks apple the longer you look, and for the first time since this morning, he smiles at you genuinely.
"Shit," he mutters through it, putting his drink down. "You know I can't handle it when you're looking at me like that, angel."
"Almost like that's why I do it," you say softly. Your smile melds from contented to something with a little more excitement as Jake puts his hand on your waist a deliberate, slow placement, each finger in a specific set. Thumb pressing into soft tummy, pinky finger teasing the waistband of your skirt. "S'why I wore the skirt, too."
He catches your lips for a sudden kiss. You laugh into his mouth, grabbing a handful of rigid, corded forearm muscle to stop him from getting too close. (You'd love for him to get closer, but you hope to be able to show your face here for the rest of your life.)
"I win," you say, the tip of your nose bumping his as you break the kiss.
"You win," he says. "You were supposed to be here half an hour ago, you know that?"
"So you could subject us to your weird foreplay just after dinner?" Fanboy asks, rocking up to the bar with Rooster beside him.
"It's not foreplay," you say, mortified but quickly mollified when Rooster waves a hand.
"He's kidding. Doesn't mean he isn't half right. Why do you guys do that?"
"What, pretend not to know each other?" you ask.
Jake's arm moves from its risqué grasping of your waist to cover your back. He's not hulking but he's not a small man, you feel his presence behind you like a steadying, remarkably handsome constant. You've no trouble leaning against him with all your weight, your hair pressed to his shoulder.
"You boys wouldn't understand," Jake says, arm curving around you like a seat belt locking into place. He gives your tummy a squeeze. You place your sandal clad heel on his boot as though that might scare him into behaving, and he likes you enough to pretend it does.
"It's just fun." You reach for Jake's drink and take a sip, your own ignored and weeping condensation. "Keeps life interesting."
"'Cos I'm such a bore," Jake drawls, nosing behind the shell of your ear.
You smile and huff a laugh through your nose as he shakes you from one side to another playfully. You're being downright disgusting in public, in broad daylight, but you're so in love you don't mind. It's not as if you're necking, anyways. Jake's just soft-handed when he wants to be, and with you, that's all the time.
"You're the worst," you say. Your tone is honeyed enough that it's obvious from the first syllable that what you're saying isn't true.
"I'll drink to that!" Rooster cheers, flagging Penny for another beer.
Jake ignores him. "I really do like the skirt, doll."
"Thank you. I'm thinking I might get it in white."
"Oh, yeah. I'd like to see that on you. Almost as much as I'd like taking it right fucking off of—" You step on his toes until he stops.
#jake seresin#jake hangman seresin#jake seresin x reader#jake seresin x you#jake seresin x y/n#jake seresin x fem!reader#jake seresin imagine#jake seresin fluff#jake seresin fanfic#jake seresin oneshot#jake seresin scenario#jake seresin drabble#jake seresin fic#jake seresin fanfiction#top gun maverick fanfiction#top gun maverick#top gun maverick fic#top gun maverick x reader#rooster x reader#top gun hangman
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your requested reminder to post knives going nuclear on zazie when you can :)
ok so im going to be reblogging this to the body horrors week later cause. uh. well. knives. quite literally goes nuclear?
all of these screenshots are from the overhaul project cause i haven't managed to catch the dark horse digital editions on sale yet, though i'll provide the dark horse translations where i can because i have physical copies, and the dark horse translations are imo clearer here.
there are ids in all the alt texts for the photos, it's why this took several days longer than i'd originally planned -finger guns- alt texts might look a little weird in the first set btw - tumblr started eating the photoset and i had to spend an extra half an hour fixing it -finger guns-
the pages are volume 11, pages 90-92, and 114-17, because a lot of the pages in between are leadup pages and also have the zazie control worm. thing.
pages 90-2 are the distant explosion (you can click on the first image and see it in the photo viewer, if for some reason it will not view in dashboard mode. But it does exist!)
(on page 90, dark horse is a lot more specific, with "the northeast sky is glowing" instead of "the whole sky is glowing". the other two boxes with text read "what is--?!" and "oh my..!" respectfully as if they were cut off mid sentence.)
so uh.
knives went uh.
literal "nuclear bomb exploded just above a town"
because he kind of did. Unlike a true nuclear bomb, he did not form a mushroom cloud, but the metaphor is still there. that is a nuclear metaphor
per pages 114-117 (pages are from left to right, read the pages right to left. sorry)
(legato's speech bubbles on page 114 in the dark horse edition read: Survival of the fittest is the law of nature. What is about to happen now is a just a logical extension of that. Be very afraid. You are in his presence. Did you not notice, Leader of the Sand Worms?
It reads very differently, imo, more like Zazie was caught up in their own plots and schemes to realize the control worm didn't work. Legato is also telling Zazie that Zazie should be afraid of Knives. Okay? Not asking if Zazie is afraid. Telling Zazie to be afraid. Like some sort of reverse "Be Not Afraid" from the bible.
Zazie's thought bubbles on page 115 are translated as "the dark hole is swallowing the poison" which reads more like knives made a black hole. given the visuals? that sounds more likely. Black holes, as a real life thing that we know about and have tried to study, are often referred to as swallowing things that pass too close. knives made a mini black hole to eat the poison from the sand worm venom. knives has consumed the dependent plants.)
the fact is, as a metatextual read, plants are nuclear reactors. independent plants are walking nuclear bombs. Nightow did this on purpose. We're meant to read them as something nuclear.
This is, as i was saying to @needle-noggins the other night when i was working on it in an attempt to get more of the alt texts written, a casual display of power. Knives is throwing a hissy fit! Knives is throwing a multi-megaton display of power because Zazie tried to take him over with the control worm. Page 91 had needle-noggins and i speechless because on the low end that tower of debris from the explosion is (if we did the very, very rough math right) THIRTY MILES TALL. Twice as tall as the tallest mountain in the solar system, Olympus Mons! or roughly five and a half times as tall as Mount Everest. On the outside, because we figured its anywhere from 25-30 times taller than the cloud cover, it could be up to thirty seven miles
Over halfway to space on earth.
like.
I know we love the independent plants and all. But Holy Shit. just.
holy shit
#myde talks#trigun#trigun maximum#trimax#millions knives#zazie the beast#legato bluesummers#long post#trigun meta#meta#writing alt text is very hard for me i am trying very hard to make them both descriptive but also not too bogged down with details#if i miss something in them PLEASE TELL ME#i am trying#i also started writing this at like midnight on friday night and then was continuing it on saturday after work and lemme tell you#hell is real and it is working retail during the holidays on saturday#anyway#if someone wants to give my INCREDIBLY ROUGH ESTIMATE of how much bigger the tower of debris is than gunsmokes cloud cover#please do#im curious
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tbh karma is my type from his physique down to his personality and likes...... but for some reason, im absolutely drawn to bhodi,,,,,,, oh no,,,, what should i do 😖
why not have both-?
18+ mdni
unedited ;-;
warnings: yandere behaviour, poly relationship (2 yanderes, 1 darling), severe stalking and manipulative behaviour, slight nsfw at the end
also asks are still open! feel free to send an ask or a request at any time!
-------------------------------------------------------
how would karma and bhodi share a darling?:
naturally, bhodi and karma are not the type to share
but they're best bros
so this time, they dont mind compromising.
karma and bhodi are basically 2 sides of the same coin
they've been best friends since forever
and they've shared a lot of things in the past
but never a darling
so
karmichael:
karma is definitely going to be the one in charge here.
bhodi will have a certain level of authority ofc
but karma is basically the head of this partnership.
karma will have the tendency to be a lot more blunt and maybe a little bit harsh towards darling if they misbehave in this scenario
this is because of bhodi's presence
he expects darling to have better behaviour
so when they act out or misbehave, he's a little less patient.
he'll still manipulate you to think that its your fault tho ;-;
karma will also enjoy this type of partnership because it will ease his yandere tendencies a little bit
he becomes a little less protective of you
especially when you go out
cause 99% of the time, bhodi is with you
(he still has cameras and mics planted on you tho)
we all know that karma likes his alone time
so karma can enjoy his space, cause when he's not with you, bhodi is.
its one less thing to worry about.
he also likes to have one on one time with darling at least 4 times a week tho
even if its just for a few hours.
he's also aware that bhodi spies on his one on one time with darling
would definitely be the type to buy a huge af bed so the three of y'all can sleep together in the same bed.
(karma may or may not also go yandere for bhodi but idk)
bhodi:
always lowkey competing with karma to be your preferred yandere/partner
not necessarily jealous of karma, but a bit insecure because karma has always been preferred by women
that being said, bhodi becomes even more clingy
always asking after you and hovering over every move you make
gives karma updates on what you did and stuff that happened with you when he's not around to see
likes to spy on karma's one on one time with darling
(its only fair cause karma has cameras planted no-?)
bhodi is the nicer one of the pair tho
if you want to go out or do something by yourself, bhodi's the one you should ask
also if you wanna buy something weird and meaningless, or something crazy expensive, ask bhodi
basically, he'll do anything for you to like him more than karma.
bhodi does have a certain level of respect for karma tho
he's his best friend and fellow yandere after all
so he will check in with karma before making or allowing you to make certain decisions
makes about 90% of all the food that you three eat
will learn your favourite hobbies and activities so he can spend extra time with you alone
he also gets alone time with you 4 times a week
likes to play the piano and sing for you as karma draws you
there's a tiny tiny chance that him and karma will also fall in love with each other but idk bro
darling will also have their own personal alone time; but karma will be watching you through cameras and bhodi will be hiding in the bushes stalking you.
\\
bonus: they both like to watch when the other makes out with you. also threesomes are a common occurrence in this household.
#honey's anons#yandere oc#honey answers asks#male yandere#yandere headcanons#obsessive yandere#yandere ceo#manipulative yandere#yandere#yandere scenarios#my oc bhodi#my oc karma#soft yandere#sensitive yandere#yandere drabble#yandere poly
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Heyyyy saw you would like some COD matchups
I'm American, but my mother's side is Slavic. I'm white, 5'6, shoulder length brown hair. I wear glasses and have a coquette aesthetic. I'm not skinny but I'm not plus sized so idk what to call myself lol.
I'm quiet and come off and kinda weird when you don't know me (I have under developed social skills due to C-PTSD). I stay to myself, make jokes that don't even seem connected to the current interactions, have a hard time maintaining eye contact. I love space and art, I have ADHD, Bipolar, and C-PTSD. I'm extremely loyal, can see right through people's bullshit, and am extremely understanding of people's unconventional habits. When you get to know me, I'm more chaotic. Not in an "I'm so random🤪😎" way but "I have an idea, I've thought it 70% of the way through, and we will see how it goes together"
If I were in the COD universe I'd probably be a sniper. I know that's a basic answer but my reasons are due to my hypervigilence, good eye tracking, great at shooting (shoutout to Thanksgiving traditions), and preferance for overall quiet and strict environments.
My top 5 characters are Simon Riley, Nikto, Gaz, Konig (Canon, not fanon), and Krueger.
Feel free to ignore, ik that writing can be really draining!! <3
I matched you with....
KU-KU-KUH KRUUUEGER 📣📢♨️❗❓💢💯🆘
^graphic design is my passion
TYSM for the first ask :,,DD So I got carried away, gonna see if ur into it but if not give me a shout to remove any of the warning stuff/private it etc !! (this is on me lmao) dont wanna scare you off w warnings, its overall fluff but i gotta tag em correctly
W: bbgifying fictional war criminals, violence/murder(described Krueger kills hostiles, implication you have), intimidation(Krueger likes killing/is ego aggressive to hostiles/brief aggro jealousy to others), ally very wounded (brief, blood mention, theyll be ok offscreen dw), unexpected gunshot on the range(all g, it was an ally), stalker-y (lately announced presence, lies that the public german nickname 4u he uses isnt affectionate, pre-dating jealousy), vague bad mental health mention, getting triggered mention, unspecified negativeish Krueger coping mechanism, vigilance(nothing happens but ur partners wanted/tense mission), you guys shooting, long mandated proximity, brief 'is bad man?', worry, long read more, light cliffhanger
+ HC that you were assigned callsign 'Cere'!
(This is a delulu long 2 off, next inbox ask i get to im gonna chill & try bulletpoints instead :p)(req are closed rite now TYSM for them<3 !)
===============================================🌙
"You're assigned with Krueger? Oh, buddy." Your fellow KorTac operator eyes you with sympathy.
It was the equivalent of a teacher seating the 'troubled' kid next to the 'good, quiet' kid.
Flash back to pre-assignment: as soon as you met him you didn't need to look into any files to know he was a two-faced bitch. He was pretty socially inconspicuous if not for your watchful eye. Low-effort charisma, flattery, egotisical swagger. Heedless apathy if someone that wasn't helping him needed help. All the calm confidence in the world and he's always at least hiding some part of his face. So suspicious for a dude whose job is murder.
Krueger was 'friendly', but he wasn't the type to get invested in getting to know 'the team'. Meaning, once a blue moon when you both decide to stay in a social space together, the max of your interaction is him staring from across the room and snorting at you. A joke of yours had fell on someone's deaf ears and a solid 4 seconds later he chuckled at it. Or at you. Unclear. You'd felt his blatant gaze burning you through the hood as soon as you'd started talking. Anyway, now you both looked "weird".
Maybe it was a sniper thing? You couldn't afford to get rusty as you settled on the faction base's range; one eye closed to focus down the scope. That familar 'pchow' sound: hit. Cock, reload, hit, repeat. Hit. Hit-hit, wait what? What was supposed to be your target dents in front of you as you hear the same sound, but from along the range. Jesus christ. Someone else was practicing too. You still yourself and resume through their tampering/co-shooting. Once you've had your fill Krueger conveniently had too, revealing himself as your competitor to purr a praise at you as you passed by. "Very nice."
Anyway, that mission you two were sent on. Heavy snow, low hills and wind-swept shrubland before forest. Hostile base right in the middle in which you've been ordered to clear by any means. There was no way they'd be able to send in a team yet without getting spotted, which is where you guys came in. A sniper either side. Hit your shots; everything will be okay. Miss? There's only so many places it could've come from.
There was something beautiful in that moment in the calm before the storm. Only the crunch of snow as you settled into position, impossibly small as you painted the final dot in the break of snow back to white. Above you, an even wider sprawling landscape of almost clear blue sky with a few sparse strings of cloud. You could see the faint impression of the moon. And…another planet? Something smaller, stationary, glinting. It was possible to catch planets during the daytime, sure, but you might know that this wasn't their usual positions. You think you've just witnessed something very special.
Married to that sight was the chill of wind over your many layers, and Krueger muttering eerily calm communications in your ear via radio. It's not like sniper fire could be silent, but you had a window of opportunity with the suppressor temporarily hiding your position. You'd shoot together.
He slowly counted down like he enjoyed it. Regardless of his distracting yapping you both hit, and he shamelessly hissed praise as he eagerly loaded his next.
Cut to your report back, your half-smile fades at a joke that didn't land with your befuddled superior. Krueger snickers. This was a long-range mission. Somehow, you were standing to attention in front of them, half your sniper hood burnt up (??) and Krueger standing a little more lax next to you splattered in blood. Now- you had clutched the mission. Thanks to your half-plan in response to Krueger getting ahead of himself, in which upon your very stressed communication you both went all-in on.
You remember a moment in the scuffle in which you were pinned by the last hostile after rescuing a screaming damsel Krueger (you didn't know he hit that pitch). You half expected the knife stuck through your attackers neck to pierce you too, before Krueger threaded the needle and double-neutralized your attacker with a snap of the neck. Panting, he leant out a hand for you to take, with a tilt of his head. "Thank you, bruder." You'd worked surprisingly natural together come the highest pressure. He didn't want to die, and you wouldn't let him. But God, he gave you a headache.
To your dismay/morbid interest you were assigned as a duo together again. And again. And again. Through trial and error you got more and more used to how each-other worked on the field, to the point his more bloodlust-y spontaneous ventures seemed quite tempting. With the guidance of your planning, of course. You swear you could hear him smirk on the other side of the radio when you finally seemed just as enthusiastic as him. Others joining you on your assignments would have to scramble to keep up with the pace of your symbiosis.
When he wasn't screaming and shouting for his life from the consequences of his own actions/in combat/violently taunting his enemies with concerning egotistical aggression, it was quite peaceful. Something about being able to focus together, but apart. Beautiful landscapes to the sound of his soothing dry tone.
And so, sue you if you hung out a little more.
"Come; you're needed." He'd half-joke with a pat on your back if he saw you alone, inviting you to sit with him and Nikto. The life-or-death nature of your field didn't really breed cliques, it's just when you could pick, two other 'offputting' neurodivergents were much less exhausting (once you'd mostly figured they weren't planning to kill you). Sometimes Krueger would be trying to say something and both you and Nikto would lose focus and have a lighter episode at the same time, which could be funnily validating despite the circumstances.
Nikto's threateningly gruff, jovial energy was kind of infectious. It might just come up in conversation: your mother's heritage. Ooh, Russian? Was it Russian? Do you know a second language? Krueger participated in the conversation, but…fuck, why were you looking at Nikto like that? No, no, you should just learn German with him instead. You'll have enough time for it together when you travel for your next mission.
It was very few and far between where Krueger had given anyone a nickname. Acquaintance German speakers would give him weird looks when he called you 'asterisks/little star'- "Sternchen," with a lingering tone. He'd non-chalantly play it off when you asked, oh you know, explaining it meant star, like the callsign you got assigned. You might explain, oh no, 'Cere' is a dwarf planet.
"Oh, really?" He seemed very interested as your eyes lit up into conversation about something you seemed to like.
Upon your explanation, he thinks your callsign suited you very well. Cere: an exceptional astronomical body usually hidden to the human eye. The largest object in an asteroid belt in-between Mars and Jupiter; muddy and icy; sporting brines, carbonates and stunningly shiny cryovolcanoes. Incredibly underrated for a beautiful busy planet that screams potential life.
He still called you sternchen, ft. "Mein sternchen," that one time. He was aiming for a cutesy secret term of endearment, but 'asterisks' technically worked too. You were his 'yes, and'. Shit, was he really thinking like that? I mean, he wasn't totally shy to it. It's just most of his previous attractions were short-term and pretty baseless for a reason. Especially with co-workers that actually had an allegiance to who they were working for.
Which made it all the more natural for him to unblinkingly step over and in the pool of blood of the person you were both tasked to protect when he saw you go down. He shouted scolding concern as he rushed to help you out even though you weren't even half as hurt.
Or when you felt shit, to say the least. You were stationed together in Berlin for an unpredictably long wait for a high-priority target. A safehouse in the middle of plain sight with you guys on deck. Blend in as civillians, barely working, just…waiting to be called on. It felt like leave, except you were living with Krueger.
It was definitely a little stressful for him to be back in Germany. He didn't intially realize his unconscious unconventional coping mechanisms set you off too, until he did, and he was at your side if you ever needed something. Helping you wasn't a big deal as far as he was concerned; he didn't have the capacity for afflictive empathy to get particularly tired of it. He'd stare at you with a limited calculative look as he tried to think of what might make his (..work)partner a little better.
Oh, staring? It was a natural habit of his to unabashedly look right in the eyes of people he considered safe/close. Just outside he tried to keep his anonymity, but here he offered to also hide his face or something indoors whilst he checked himself for that habit. Wouldn't be anything new.
Neither was finding the right words to avoid misconception/upset; casually, calmly squashing any worries.
Or when he kept bouncing his leg after being in too long when he sat, and you met eyes whilst fidgeting yourself. Yeah, no-one needed to say it to know it was time to go out.
Just two solid, fit foreigners with inconsistent tan lines. Yeah, no pressure. Played it off as his American other-half visiting for the summer holiday, or something. Not that he at all minded. An older couple observing you when he used his nickname for you (it..just meant star, right?); when he put his hand on your back to guide you somewhere less dodgy; or when you both stood close like you liked him to inconspicuously mutter information. In one of those moments you thought he might be a bit too much of a natural at this.
But you couldn't exactly leave each-other; he spared the details but let you know the faces to look for. And when his description trailed off, he tried drawing instead. Uh, yeah, no offence, but you couldn't tell what that was. You tried instead for him, kind of like a police sketch artist. Regardless of whether you drew often or not, he'd walk a little closer in interest, hand on the back of your seat to look over your shoulder with an impressed noise. "You made them too handsome, sternchen. That-oh yeah, much better." He'd joke.
Art was a pretty good way to fill the time. Alongside Krueger teaching you a little German to apply it later- maybe at a till. If you wanted to buy paints or something, go crazy. Company money, right? Fashion was fun, too. Unsure if you'd ever get the opportunity again to have packed nice-nice clothes for a job. Unlike him; he was underdressed compared to you. Sometimes literally.
Whenever the sunlight beamed in through your little window at the right time of day, he'd lay in it like a cat, sleeveless/ shirtless if you were comfortable. Men. Which was of note since he couldn't exactly flash them outside, but aside from the few scars (a couple of which you remember how he got them.) he had some cool (..?) tattoos. Shame he couldn't get one from you. Not that he'd back out if you busted out the ol' stick and poke. But hey, plenty of empty space left for illustratory practice to bide the time?
Time seemed to go quicker. Krueger singing under his breath around the small flat-thing as he tried to occupy himself; laying next to you on the floor when you felt bad; routine window sunbathing; eagerly crafting an elaborate game with you via worryingly stacked things from around the place just to take aggressive turns with each-other making it break everywhere and fall. It was the human equivalent of two ping pong balls in a box. His stories being your podcast as you did art; him sitting still-ish for you and being amused by the cute bow he'd been awarded to his bicep (not that he could compare to your style); loosely giving his hands back to you behind his head so you could fidget with or hold them, whatever you want.
If you liked him back? He confidently didn't think it was just an act of care anymore from the way your gaze lingered on him- which he reciprocated. He'd speak back calmly and try to hide the twitch of a smile with a satisfied tilt back of his head.
He'd hold you like he would've done anyway if you needed him, with the added flair of lulling his head to rest against next to yours as he calmly talked your ear off before bed. Maybe as he lightly traced your cheek where his hand laid, if he felt braver.
Your shared enemies always seemed to go down harder, more violently. Other operators caught snarky comments.
You weren't quite sure how it'd all come to an official head, or not. But as far as you were concerned, with your head on his shoulder, it wasn't too bad to be assigned with Sebastian Krueger.
#cod matchup#cod#call of duty#cod x reader#sebastian krueger#cod krueger#krueger x reader#ive done priv keegs/anon 2k now krueger/anon 2k#holy crapoli#jamies next then gemini lady >:D#im nervouuuseeeee#keep readings broken omfg its fucking w my POST#64sshit
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trigun bookclub time :D volume 2 thoughts
chap 00.1
-vash's method of meditation is the only one that's valid in my eyes/j
-3 seconds of meditating vs 3 hours of training...huh...i wonder...why is that...and what...that says about him...
-hes bad at chess hes like me fr fr
-yey we love a day without casualties :D
chap 00.2
-the bit about us taking shelter on technology but still not knowing what the future holds...yeah that feels timeless now huh
-vash don't go there! oh no he has earbuds he cant hear me (that would literally happen to me tho)
-i love that panel where no one says anything after the girl is like "yeah i can give you pocket money." nice representation of the irritation people feel towards that kind of people. they arent mad just really tired of that bs
-oh man thats actually pretty horrible (page 23)
-"and i think of nothing but love and peace" besides that we know your head is empty but we love you so its ok
-yeah vash show her the real world
-interesting that he makes her see the chance of her dad dying (he didnt know what was gonna happen) which makes sense cuz she cant run from the truth anymore but its also interesting cuz if we was able to not see it he would. he hates seeing people dying and yet he watches and makes others watch. i dont think its about "if i have to, you have to as well" but more about her seeing the consequences of violence (what her father did) and the cycle of hate so she doesnt repeat it. idk.
chap 1
-rem coming out of his coat....hm....
-weird man coming
-YEAH SEND HIM TO HELL >:D
-if rem is holding him back you say...hmmm...i will go back to that later
-well thats creepy
chap 2
-my boi is in jail nooooooooooooo
-you can feel the size of the ship with one panel nightow is ridiculously talented when creating big spaces, like the sandsteamer shot in the last volume
-..... :c
-my babygirl :c
-i like he started the flashback angry as hell and then it turned into sadness cuz even if he makes knives pay nothing will bring rem back
-also the literal ship crashing into his memories what if I [redacted]
-SEE LOOK AT THAT SHIT! SPACE FEELS MASSIVE AND ITS LITERALLY JUST THE PLANET AND THE SHIP
-aaaand hes angry as hell again cuz the memory finished with knives. interesting
-dont look at me with those kind eyes, we saw you
-YEY ITS DIABLO TIME :D go get em
chap 3
-aw cmon :c
-and there goes the arm
-hey >:[ dont call my girl milly an idiot
-ugh you can feel how fucking stressed out he is ahhhhhhhhh
-ah yes, we love seeing how right knives is...
-huh, i wonder if knives is smiling cuz before he was like "nah she was stupid like the rest" but since she got to correct the ships's trajectory he got a bit of respect for her in the end
-is monev vs vash supposed to be like david and goliath? hm
-my god thats fucking beautiful
-also i dont think thats a ghost but maybe like her presence? like vash is remembering her and her kindness
-AH I HATE THAT I HATE THAT. THE CHAPTER IS CALLED FRAGILE, ENDS UP WITH VASH CRYING AND THE "rem" IS SO LITTLE THAT IS ONLY MEANT FOR US AND VASH TO BE AWARE OF IT WHAT IF I CRIED A RIVER AHHHHHH
chap 4
-oh meryl...oh honey...sweetie...
-the scars appear :D yey :D
-meryl is kinda asking him "arent you tired of being nice dont you want to go apeshit" but not really and i like that
-yknow what meryl is right pls go away and live a quiet life pls, ik whats coming but just thinking about it....
-yee ik the reason why but still >:v
-oh....oh i actually forgot about that...oh
-"rem didnt sacrifice her life for a world like that" im tearing up actually and idk why...its been a hard week
-lmao hes so mad at vash
-yeah hunt him down babygirl >:D
chap 5
-....metal >:D
-they deserved it btw
-huh thats actually kinda nice of him i forgot
-ofc he would blame vash for that, then again vash makes all of us at least a little bit soft i think
chap 6
-i love you vash that takes his sweet time to process traumatic situations, yes that was scary
-vash saying "im the deathwish" means a lot to me as an mcr fan lmao. i will think more about that later tho
-HES HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
-YES YOU ARE A PRIEST OMG WHY AM I THIS EXCITED
-THEY MEET, OMG THEY ARE MEETING! AMAZING!
-STOP BLUSHING BRO LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
-WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING HIS CHIN LIKE THAT YO
-"go home or go to hell" oh im getting that on a tattoo one day actually, so metal
-...cmon, me me big boi
-THAT SMILE, THAT DAMN SMILE im gonna jump off my local cliff
-vash in the beginning saying he can read people and then wolfwood comes and READS HIM LIKE ITS NOTHING
chap 7
-"is that a friend of yours" he looks so offended lmao
-ahhhh that must be so scary, he already has knives to worry about but the fact not everyone can see legato makes his job harder ahhhhh
-bye baby ily (hes my son that i only share with a couple of other ww enjoyers)
-CAN YOU STOP BEING GAY FOR 2 MINUTES
-OH THAT PANEL IS SO GOOD (also even more princess coded, like looking at really from a castle idk)
-GUYS GUYS MY WIFE IS HERE
-i keep forgetting hes missing his little arm :c
-lmao wolfwood is right, i wouldnt go to a church all the way there :b
-yeah and shes hot while teleporting all over the place
-ok but shes really fucking cool, despite wanting to kill my comfort character, yknow how these things go
-OHOHOHOO THAT PANEL WITH VASH FOCUSING IS AMAZING
-YESSSSS, SO METALLLLL
chap 8
-aaaand...there goes my wife
-ahhhhhh he looks so little :c
-OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HES COMING, HES NEAR
-idk ww :c idk when will it end
-OH WOW OH SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT
-yeah right i dont like this part :b (its not bad just personal stuff)
-ok he do be looking pretty tho, i wonder if its a family thing
-YEAH MERYL SMACK THAT MF
-im a ball of rugged paper and my feelings are nothing...thanks nightow ily
-oh wait...he actually thought that was the end...thats so fucking smart nightow...wow i never considered that....
-aw babygirl :c but i cant even imagine how that must feel, how much hate he feels towards knives rn
-i think besides the "he called me by my name" meryl and milly let him go cuz they just felt he was going to matter what, like you can feel vash and his unstoppable energy on those pages
-oh hes so fucking pretty
-WAIT I NEVER NOTICED THAT BUT YEAH THAT WAS ON STAMPEDE EP 3 HOLY FUCK, THEY SAID THE SAME THING
-knives just fucking reads vash like an open book its incredible and it makes me so sad cuz vash cant escape, he cant hide nothing, not in front of knives
-he cant be knives without the good old gaslighting >:D
-the yelling throughout the page is amazing
-vash is crying noooooooooooooooo :c
-NO. STAY AWAY FROM ME, EVIL PANEL THAT HAUNTS MY DREAMS
-also :c
-im not too sure of what happened with his legs but ok sure
-im afraid my babygirl cant give you an answer ww, i dont think he knows
-.....why is the world so mean to him :c
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Chay im asking around but do i remember you have a cat? because i am getting my first cat after being a dog person and need some tips on making it like me lol
Aaaaaaaaa congrats on joining us, cat parents team, its hardwork tbh dhdhdh but nooo they're the loveliest most unique pets, no one's cat is like the other.
Cats need patience at first, if you get a kitten it needs plenty of time to adapt and be familiar with the space and you, so dont be sad of concern if the forst days the kitten seemed distant or afraid of you or try to hide. Just give it space, try little by little to make it get use to your presence. Cats generally either they think you're their pet or property dhdhhd or a part of their clan, they humble you basically. My cat is also an outdoor cat so its a bit different when you decide to keep it indoor but they're very not complicated when it comes to space, they can share space, they really assign themselves places dhhddh
They're so independent, sometimes they would cuddle or show love when they feel like too so dont take it personally if your cat is not a cuddly type hfhdhd mine asks for them, hates it when you try to give him cuddles out of nowhere, with cats I think physical love can be different than a dog, bc they're not afraid to strike back with their teeth or claws. But also if you're a playful person with their cat try since its small to know how to play with them bc they can sometimes scratch you or scar you harshly when they don't mean too, but they're very communicative creatures they understand what you hate and what you dont like as well. Very curious lil shits as well, and you'll notice by time cats pick on their owners personality, they sometimes start acting like you, have this tiny traits of personality similar to you. They're very instinctual and entertaining creatures so you'll never be bored at all, they're not always clingy so you will have your space dhdhdh they will rely on you for their basic needs that's it, like their ancestors they were solitary hunters, hunting small preys and hiding in small spaces escaping their predators so dw if your cat sleeps in weird places dhhd run with food and hide it or bring you a cockroach as a hunting gift.
They're creatures of their own habits so like even if you raise them for certain things they'll find a way to be independent and have they're own patterns that you need to get used to it bc they mostly dont look to please you at all, they don't need constant attention or energy. Dont scream at them, dont try to make them behave by giving them harsh attitude, they will be so distant from you. They really just need their basic needs, love and head and tummy rubs when they ask for it and you'll be their favourite human being and trust me there is nothing more soft then coming home from a long day to a purring cat
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smt, we weren't telling you not to wear the shirts. if you are comfortable wearing them thats that good/gen, we were saying that we cant/wont because its not something thats normalized where we live.
by "you" i meant me. i live in georgia and im poc which means that my fellow black people here where i live WILL make fun of me. ill be called whitewashed or just simply be laughed at because everyone sticks to the same music tastes and stuff. i dont, which means im an outsider and would be even more of an outsider if i wore kpop merch in public. im literally just too cowardly to wear merch outside.
we were not telling YOU that youll be laughed at. the shirts are cute, wear them, we were just saying that we personally could not.
if you have a problem with us, then come to US about it/nm
I never said you guys told me to not wear them, i said i felt stupid after that conversation. I was genuinely excited for them and it cost nothing to support my excitement before saying "but you know, if it were me, in my case, i can't wear those kind of shirts here because..." but instead the convo went like
and the reason why i was so affected was because when i was showing my new yunho pc, you acted like i wasn't even there, you acted like i didn't exist. at first i ignored it because i thought you were not feeling like dealing with me so you don't wanna interact with me but you wanna kinda acknowledge i was there, idk but i didn't wanna impose. but then the next thing i know, you finally acknowledged me like
after that convo, i just sat and stared at the shirts i just bought and i slowly got sick like nauseous at the thought that i spent money on something that even my kpop loving friends thought are "embarrassing" or "not socially acceptable". i know nita didn't mean that i was embarrassing, she was saying that if SHE wore it, she'd be embarrassed but what i got from that is she considered the shirts embarrassing to wear.
from that interaction, i felt like i can't talk about my feelings there, i didn't feel safe, so i went to my safe space to just say my feelings and i wanted to be calmer, even comforted first before thinking about it again because i was genuinely upset. seeing you send this ask yesterday gave me anxiety so rather than just jumping in to answer for the sake of being responsive but not knowing what to say, i wanted to be better first. but then you said this
which i have to agree. my mistake was not dealing with my feelings head on even when i was not in a quite okay place to deal with it. but weren't you doing the same ?
idk if that was directed at me or if you were talking about someone else, but i felt like that is also applicable to me. and i remember you jokingly told me you wanted to stone me so idk it made me feel weird. i wasn't hiding, i was dealing with my feelings first, i wanted to be okay first before saying anything. you didn't want to acknowledge my presence initially so it didn't felt right to me to just talk to you. and again, i was hurt, i was regretting spending money on things that i thought would get me mocked. i never had any issues wearing my ateez shirts until you and nita put it like that, it never occured to me.
idk what my point is here, i'm just explaining my situation. i'm sorry if i offended you in any way by my words or even by misinterpreting your words both in the initial conversation or from the ask.
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i talked about this a few months ago but here we are again.
to adult users:
yall plz look out cuz there is a weird surge in minors coming into adult spaces --not even on anon-- expecting adult nsfw writers to welcome then with open arms.
like they getting bold in disrespecting boundaries.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
to minors:
while you may still be a minor, you know what you're doing when you come into adult spaces and antagonize us.
its crazy yall feel comfortable putting that you're a minor on your page and commenting or sending ask in 'nsfw/minor dni' spaces. yall have come with your chests puffed out, making demands of inclusion or exceptions.
but when we don't, yall are sending sane adults on witch hunts for fake groomers. like i will always believe you guys first cuz i would have wanted someone to do that for me growing up. and i’d rather get the wrong person, but i’d also rather spend time actually keeping you safe from actual groomers. dont lead us on wild goose chases, the longer we waste time with a fake, the longer other minors are being groomed for real.
and not that im advocating for you, but you'd think you'd have a little shame/common sense like past generations to not make your presence known. like adults dont want you interacting with them AT ALL but if you “must”🙄, dont get in our comments or asks tryna be our friends.
it’s uncomfortable. i dont want to know that you see/read my blog. also what am i gonna talk to you about in terms of adult content?…😐 (no im not an sex ed teacher. nobody wants to be giving sex ed class over the internet. we shouldn’t have to. we wanna just enjoy the internet for recreation too.)
no minor should want to be exposed to mature content cuz it can damage your relationship with sex in the long run.
adults have specifically set rules on their page or put certain labels to let you know. the moment you don't respect them, you have opened yourself to be scolded and reported amongst the community.
you may hate us now, but i promise you its for the best.
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very first post and its long as shit. here you go.
there's something really weird about not having friends. now ion mean this in a "oh im so lonely pity me" way i mean this in a "it feels like i actively choose this life and i want to share my observations" way. because, when you're with friends, you hardly observe anyone else. youre focused on those you love, those you want to talk to, yknow? you spend time with these people, building relationships, getting to know these select few very well. the world around you is infected by the people you love and that's not a bad thing. what a wonderful thing it is to have a world that reminds you of the ones you hold dear. yet, when you don't have friends. when there isnt someone to converse with at every lunch break, when you aren't widely known because your friends spread your presence amongst their friends, the world is. strange.
you learn to observe. you learn that a red haired girl spends every 2nd period at the library, tuesdays and thursdays, because you do too. you learn that a group of guys skip 1st period to have breakfast together every monday, and that they've noticed you skip 1st occasionally too. you learn that the guy who sits across from you in AP chem wanted to invite you into his band because he's been observing you, too. the cashiers at your usual gas station crack jokes with eachother because you refuse a bag and receipt every time they offer, because you work right next door and there's no point in it, and they know that. they wont ask "is that all for you?" anymore because they know you get the same thing all the time and the only time it changes, is if you're there with a coworker or sibling. the night shift cashier will compliment your hair every time you walk in because he knows you love to change it as often as you can, he knows you get bored easily. you learn all the cashiers names, though they only know you as "that guy" or "that one regular". you learn people find you intimidating, though you know that's the furthest from the truth. you watch people switch to the other side of the street to avoid passing you. you'll observe everyone and everything. you'll get to know everyone but nobody will get to know you.
but then nobody knows you. nobody invites you to breakfast. nobody waves to you across the yard. you have no-one. where other people turn excitedly to a best friend to tell them something unbelievable, you turn to empty space. there is nothing. there is nobody. you frequently find yourself alone. of course, you're okay with that. you're content in your own company and you know your worth doesnt amount to how many friends you have. but, its conflicting. you don't care about sitting alone at a table for two, you dont care about walking by yourself, you dont care that you have nobody to update about the minor things that excite you. but, you care about missing out. junior homecoming is soon and your boyfriend doesn't go to your school, he graduated already, and works the night of hoco. you don't have other friends to go with. you want to go, but you don't have an outfit, and you dont want to be asked if you're okay the whole night because thats when people realize youre alone. you'll be missing out. again. and you hear so much about how adults regretted not going to events and you fear you'll regret it, too.
it's like. you're okay with being alone, infact you prefer it in most cases. but you resent the feeling of loneliness that washes over you when you realize you don't have the connections that others do.
even at work! you used to be so close with so many of your coworkers. you've worked there so long you've seen people come and go, you've seen managers change, you've greeted and trained countless people. you got really close with one of the drivers. but the girl who did your interview, your shift manager, the girl who took you under her wing and called you her son, just quit for a better paying job. you bought her cupcakes and a cookie cake and wished her luck, hiding how badly you'll miss her. your boyfriend's last day working there was yesterday and he's at work at his better job. youre happy for him and you called him on his way to his first day, telling him it'll be okay and easing his nerves. you'll miss joking around with him. you'll miss seeing him almost every day. that driver you were close with dropped your friendship for a better one with the new shift manager. you're happy for him. they hang out all the time. now you're alone again. the new people either dont like you or know you don't like them. there's no opportunity for new connections. you feel like you just started working there. you didnt speak unless spoken to, you didnt make eye contact, you never asked for anything. those people you loved, the ones who are moving on to better things, got you out of your shell. now they're all gone. you don't have a reason to speak anymore.
the new shift wont know your name. the new CSRs will only know you by the callouts you give for orders. those working in the back hardly interact with you as is, now there's really no point in talking to you, you won't speak. you might have to train another person to work alongside you, to fill the role your boyfriend once had.
being alone is weird. its conflicting. its warm and familiar yet cold and isolating. you're okay with it while hating it at the same time.
idk guys tdlr; being alone is weird and i have alot of conflicting emotions.
#fishbonesramblings#im so tired#maybe i need to touch grass#im alone and that's okay but also not????
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my red flags
(alot of these are from personal experience)
if they hate cats or really any animal (bugs not included). they can d i s l i k e an animal(except cats) but if they say they h a t e a certain animal? red flag (not including people with phobias of those animals unless theyre unwilling to try and work past them)
if theyre patriotic. i never trust someone with an American flag. 9/10 times, theyre a pos
if they have a mustache without a beard or a beard without a mustache. idk, jus gives me bad vibes. its like wearing only one sock.
if they drive a pickup truck. no explanation needed
if they wear those like, , razor sunglasses?? idk what theyre called n im too lazy to look them up. but theyre probably racist or homophobic n those sunglasses just look ugly as sin
hunters and fishermen. ive never met a hunter or fisherman that didnt make me feel uncomfortable or wasnt a horrible person
if they dont take proper care of any animals they have. shows you dont care about anyone or anything but yourself
people who only talk about getting high or being high or wanting to be high or are always high. i know you wont respond to any of my messages and will choose getting high over spending time with me in a heart beat and will only ever wanna hang out with me if its to smoke up together (from personal experience)
people who smoke cigarettes inside. its cooler and more aesthetically pleasing if you do it outside and it shows that you care about how your house may smell to guests and/or you care about the health of any pets you have in the house
people with big families. you prob have no sense of personal space n think you have a right to anything and everything (personal experience)
people who are really close to their family. i hate my family and will be sad and jealous and ik you wont understand that and will think im just weird and your parents will be too friendly to me n ill prob cry. youll always want to be over there and spend every holiday there and get mad at me when i ask if we can spend the holidays with my family (also from personal experience)
last two combined. i have social anxiety. so no, i dont want to go to your family dinner and meet your 5 sisters, 3 brothers, 7 nieces n nephews, 8 cousins, all your aunts n uncles, parents, and grand parents and great grand parents. especially if its the first time theyre meeting me cause i dont wanna be the center of attention (again, personal experience. "dw, itll just be a small family gathering". bitch, there were near 100 people there wtf. n he had to go around n introduce me to as many people as possible)
people who are overly vocal about their relationship. again, anxious. im a very reserved person. i dont want all your friends and family to know about me and what we do together. i dont wanna be put on blast 24/7.
people with a very strong social media presence. kina pairs in with the last one. cause ik youre gonna post about me and tell everyone about me and the things we do. i want my relationships to be between me and my partner. they can know basic shit about me but i dont like knowing someones talking about me without knowing exactly what theyre saying
last two combined. ik youre gonna end up hating me and think im embarrassed to be with you or whatever just cause i dont post about you or pictures of you 24/7 or tell all my friends and family everything there is to know about you (personal experience)
adult virgins who are embarrassed about being virgins cause they think it makes them a lesser person. ik they dont want anything from me other than to use my body so they can accomplish some stupid goal within themselves. homie, if it means that much to you, hit up a sex worker. (personal experience)
only childs. ik youre spoiled n are use to getting just about whatever you want n think the world revolves around you (personal experience)
middle and upper class people. youre not gonna put thought or effort into anything during the holidays n just get something expensive. OR youre gonna put 0 thought n effort into something n just get the cheapest thing possible n expect me to give more than you. this also includes things like love and emotional support. ik youre gonna expect everything from me n not give anything in return
people who suck at taking pictures of themselves. you dont care enough
people who are too good at taking pictures of themselves. youre full of yourself
people who are always taking pictures of themselves. youre also full of yourself
people who only have professionally taken photos of themselves. who tf do you think you are???
people who only post pictures and videos of themselves at parties and clubs and cafes n shit. we get it, youre living a happy and fulfilling life. stfu, i wanna see pictures of you just laying in bed or doing normal every day shit
people who fit perfectly into stereotypes. actual text book definitions come to life. get away from me
basic ones, people who support trump, the military, and/or police officers. i dont wanna be within 30 feet of you, 100ft if theres no people around.
anither basic one. people who think the US is the best country. youre actually delusional n you definitely ignore any problems even if theyre right in front of you. youre gonna blame everyone but yourself for any problems you caused. youre also entitled af
thats all i got off the top of my head so far
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Hmmmm, yeah, you're right. As much love and comfort online friends can give, they can't be there for you physically and, sometimes, that's all that we need. But I'm pretty sure that there's some people around you there irl that want to be friends with you and don't know how because you're a very interesting person. At least, I would be your friend if we were colleagues somehow, I like being friends of interesting people...
I can help you, if you want! What do you think is the hardest about making friends? Starting a conversation, keeping it going...? I know a thing or two about being social 😂😂😂😂
TMI time: I'm dressed up like a punk rock winx and I don't want to shower because I feel very much magical
yeah like sometimes a bitch just needs to be Held 😭😭😭 ain't got that in years
ive been mostly working w people twice or three times my age bc i work in warehousing, so im not making any friends there lololol my attempts so far have been at a university club, but i don't go to university, so they all seem like they're a lot closer w each other than they are w me probably cause they see each other all the time on campus and i just... :,) ive managed to make like, two or three friends i talk to regularly, one very recent like as of last week LOL the other two im starting to feel like i annoy them but i don't feel like we're close enough for me to ask if they really enjoy my company or not it's a little awkward but i really can't tell the difference between problems im making up in my head due to past experiences and insecurities vs what's actually in front of me and if history is repeating itself again. i probably need to see a therapist but fuck thats expensive.
the hardest part about making friends... approaching people, honestly. i have a lot of social trauma about groups of people who are already friends and being the newcomer, so it's a lot easier when other people are new With me so we can find a spot in a group together, but... people don't stay new for long at this club probably bc studying together so people who have been there as long as me have made friends w everyone in the club already while im kinda just on the outskirts still. i don't know how to try and befriend people who already have other friends bc my brain just goes, they have friends right there, why would they bother with you? i fear my presence would just be intruding on them. and i know that's just a trauma response but ive never been in a group of pre-established friends that's actually liked me before, so after being burned so many times its understandable why im so fucking scared of it happening again. but these people seem like really cool people and i really wanna be their friend i just really don't know How. at this point im just going to as many events as i can and tryna get everyone's instagrams and just.. idk trying to be friendly without pushing myself into anyone's space and letting them come to me. but when they all have other friends, letting them come to me isn't the most effective approach at actually making friends and not just pleasant acquaintances. man i dunno. im also the only trans person there i know of apart from this one bigender person who gives me really weird vibes for a reason i cannot place so that makes everyone else considerably more intimidating.
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how do u feel about people shipping alters in moon knight? ik it’s become quite popular, but what are ur feelings about it? just curious, not hating on it, im supportive of all ships and just want to hear ur thoughts!
So. When I first got into MK comics a while ago I did a lot of research into DID and it's cousin OSDD and the general consensus was that every alter is their own complete person. Obviously there's a bunch of nuance there, on the psychological side, and since they're essentially different parts of the same consciousness, and also since the goal of a lot of people who go to therapy for DID is to kind of merge all their alters eventually (there's a different term for it that escapes me atm, I think it's considered more like fusing? Idk I'm not an expert) but generally, particularly as they exist in MK, they are completely separate individuals.
Basically I have zero problems with it. Marc and Steven (and Jake!) are different people that just so happen to share a body, in a sense, so while the logistics get tricky I say go live your wildest dreams lol. Not really my thing, necessarily, but I can totally see the appeal.
#moon knight#teddy talks#personally i see steven as more of a stand in for Randall for Marc at least emotionally#its this guy hes been charged with taking care of and you can be damn sure hes gonna get it right this time#but i can see the appeal since marc and steven (which im assuming is the pairing were referring to) fit pretty well into#existing ship tropes (red/blue + gruff warrior/ball of sunshine type deals that pop up a lot in fandoms of all kinds)#so yeah i personally have 0 problem#its weird that i have such a presence in this space that im getting asks about my Thoughts on fandom activity lol#but i have way too many thoughts on everything all the time so feel free to send me stuff like this @ anon or anyone else who wants to#im always happy to overshare my thought processes#its the adhd baby#i do want to add that most of my research was in online communities#this was a while back when most people didnt believe DID existed so almost all the information was firsthand accounts of people with DID#which is a really interesting rabbit hole to fall into actually#and weirdly enough there have been debates about this in online DID communities about whether alters could have relationships#from a moral/ethical standpoint but the consensus was usually yes#so yeah i listen to firsthand accounts first and foremost and make my opinions with that in mind no matter the topic#this got kinda pedantic so imma leave it here but short answer: go for it dudes live your lives
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Discuss!
Spencer Reid x Reader
Synopsis; Where the team discusses the question ‘do you kiss after head’, you find out Spencer has too little experience to answer the question so you help him out
Warnings; smut, oral (male receiving), sub!spencer, praise, slight degradation
a/n; LMAO im so sorry for disappearing again life has been actually kicking my ass but anyways lately i’ve been thinking about subby early season spence so here we go,, hope you enjoy!
***
Another Friday night and the team was out bar crawling after an easy case. But this time all members were there as it reached 11pm which was rare. Usually Hotch and JJ would have been home by 10:30 and Spencer wouldn’t have been there at all. But there was something light in the air which had all parties concerned sitting packed in a booth, laughing after each sip of their drinks.
Since it wasn’t your first rodeo together you knew how the night went. It started off with Rossi offering to buy the first few rounds, always whiskey but he made an exception for Penelope. Then again who would deny her anything.
Once the drinks were flowing and lips got a little loose, the questions would start popping in at the top of your heads. However these were not your run of the mill, ‘hows so and so doing?’ ‘done your taxes yet?’ oh no. The name of the game was discuss where you would all think of a question which would help you dig just a tiny bit deeper into your coworkers sex lives.
Maybe if you were all sober then you’d avoid thinking of each other in such positions, pun intended, yet in this state your prying minds were open and your stomachs were ready to grow abs from bending over in laughter.
You raised the margarita glass up clinking it with a fork to get the tables attention. Everyone including Aaron had a smile on their face, ready to hear the intrusive question for the night.
“Ok my fellow profilers, doctor, and tech genius,” you added pointing at Spencer then Pen, “Do you kiss your partner after they give you head? Discuss!” you finished in your most formal voice.
Right as you took a swig of your drink the mixed responses of yes and no filled your small space.
“Why wouldn’t you? You guys especially, if someones willingly trying to swallow then you damn well owe them a kiss,” Emily finished earning nods and ‘exactly’s from JJ, Pen, and yourself.
“Ok but thats weird. I just can’t explain it but its a no go for me,” Morgan finished. This only gained him a scoff and raised voices, “Hotch man help me out here,” he said looking over to the man hiding his smirk behind the amber liquid.
“I have to agree with the ladies here Derek,” he said curtly.
The girls yelped and hooted at Hotch for siding with them while Morgan sat with his arms crossed being the singular person left out as even Rossi agreed. Meanwhile you noticed the presence next to you had shrunk back and wasn’t too active in the conversation.
“So Spence do you kiss your partner after they,” you trailed off shaking your fist by your cheek and poking your tongue in the side.
He coughed as he instantly sat up quicker. Even under the dim lights of the bar you could still see the blush creeping up from his neck to his ears and the slightest tint on his cheeks.
“Oh I uh- I never-” he said looking anywhere but your eyes.
“You don’t kiss them?” you said raising your brows.
“No! I-i mean yes. I would I think b-but I haven’t had the chance to actually partake in such.. activities,” he finished finally taking a look into your eyes.
You could tell he was waiting for you to laugh in his face for being so inexperienced but you felt far from it. If anything you wished you could be the one to show him things.
That sweet boy had you wrapped around his finger and he didn’t even know it. Maybe it was his naivety considering how exceptionally smart he was. Or maybe it was the cute sweater vests he wore and now he nervously tucked his hair behind his ears. All you knew was that you wanted Spencer Reid and tonight was your night to make it happen.
You hummed taking in the information, “Well that’s not a bad thing Spence. Everything takes time,” you said putting your hand on his arm for comfort and giving him a smile.
Going to turn back to face the table you almost didn’t hear Spencer go to speak again, “Do you?”
Got him.
“Why don’t you find out pretty boy,” you said with a wink as you downed the rest of your marg. In the corner of your eye you could see Spencer shifting in his seat, subtly moving his bag to cover the slowly growing tent in his slacks.
As the night went by you couldn’t help but really give him a show. You had popped open a button or two on the long sleeve you had on, since it was getting stuffy in the booth. Though when you leaned forward and jutted your chest out, the soft inhale of a breath from the man next to you was just serving as motivation to get bolder.
For the last hour you called it quits on the alcohol and drank a few glasses of water before you drove home. Spencer had been uncharacteristically quiet ever since your little interactions.
The team had all gotten up to say their goodbyes. Rossi going by and giving everyone a kiss on each cheek. Derek having to quite literally rangle Penelope from talking to passing by groups on their way out. Then there were two.
You turned to the side where Spencer was nursing on his coke, “Hey pretty boy, it’s late, let me give you a ride home,” you said grabbing your belongings.
“Y-yeah ok. Thanks Y/n,” he said getting up. You’d noticed how he still had the burnt orange bag over his crotch. He couldn’t still be hard could he? Well you’d love to find out.
As gentlemanly as he was, Spencer opened the door for you to exit the building first. The whip of fresh night air cooling on your exposed chest and legs under your skirt.
You unlocked your car and stepped in, Spencer waiting to hear the little beep signaling his side was open. As he sat down you heard him let out a little whimper. Your head shot over to look at him, you could tell from the flush on his cheeks he didn’t mean to let the noise out.
Holding in your chuckle you started the ignition and pulled out of the lot, “Can I put on some music?”
“Yeah I don’t mind,” he said looking over at you with his lips in a line. If it was anyone else, they’d probably think he was uncomfortable but you loved his tiny awkward smiles.
The ride to his apartment was mostly silent besides a rare quip from Spencer about paper work or fact about an older building you had passed by. It fascinated you to no end hearing him talk. Spencer was a hand speaker, meaning he always used his hands waving them around and making gestures. The pale digits had you captivated. Probably a driving hazard but you couldn’t help but let your mind wander.
You pulled up into one of the visitor spots and put the car in park. You looked over to see Spencer almost contemplating something. You’d seen the look on his face before when he was looking over puzzles.
“Somethin on your mind Doc?” you said with a small smile. As cute as he looked when he was nervous, you’d never want him to feel uncomfortable around you.
“Would you-,” he cleared his throat, “Wo- Would you maybe want to c-come inside?”
“Of course Spence I’d love to,” you finished with a reassuring nod.
As he led you upstairs you were giddy with anticipation. So what if nothing happened. He was your friend first and you were glad he was letting you into his personal space. Even if you wanted nothing more than to have him writhi-
“Y/n?”
The door closing snapped you out of your thoughts. You didn’t even realize you were in his living room. The dark green walls and shelves bursting with books put a grin on your face, “Sorry Doc, just caught up in my thoughts. What did you say hun?”
His brows practically raised to his hairline from hearing the pet name. While he was used to the names coming from Garcia they took a whole different light coming from your lips.
“I was asking if you wanted water or something,” he said fiddling with the keys in his hands. Eyes darting everywhere but your face so you wouldn’t be able to see the flush rising on his cheeks.
“No I’m fine thanks for asking though,” you said taking a seat on the worn leather couch.
You reached for the tv remote making a face at Spencer to ask for permission. He nodded and you settled back turning on an old sitcom that played late at night.
As the episode ended you both sat in silence. Again you didn’t mind but you could practically hear the cogs moving in Spencer’s brain.
You were about to speak when he cut you off before you could even get a word out, “What did you mean by ‘why don’t you find out’.”
Gaining confidence you moved closer to where he was on the couch, slow enough for him to stop you in case he wanted to back out.
“Well you have options pretty boy,” you said moving a leg to straddle him. Your hands instinctively going to his brown locks. You could’ve sworn you heard a little moan leave his chapped lips. Noted.
“W-what are the options,” lust blown eyes looked up to yours.
“One, you can put that mouth to good use on me,” you said trailing your finger over his bottom lip, “and let me cum over that pretty face.”
His eyes shut hearing your words and you weren’t having it, “Nuh uh eyes on me honey,” instantly they were back on yours.
“Or number two. I can suck you off and let you cum down my throat, but,” you paused making sure to roll your hips on his growing length, “ you have to give me a nice big smooch after.”
The hands on your hips pulled you closer as he bucked his hips into you as you finished the sentence. It was clear which option was preferred.
You moved to slide down in between his legs. You let your hands trail down his clothed thighs, causing him to jump.
“Tsk such a needy boy,” you said mockingly, “Am I not going fast enough baby?”
“Please Y/n,” he all but whimpered. It was like music to your ears.
Your hands went to his belt, looking up in his eyes for a final sign of permission. Once he nodded you quickly undid it and he lifted his hips to help get his pants down. You palmed him over his boxers, feeling the wet patch where he was already leaking pre cum.
���Is this all for me Spence? Does the thought of my lips around you make you this hard,” you said taking him out of the striped confines.
“Oh god please just,” he cut himself off. You could see his hands curling fists besides his legs.
“Please what baby? I can’t give you anything unless you ask.” Your hands continued their task of leisurely stroking his length.
“Fuck please put your mouth on me,” he rushed out, hips bucking to prove his point.
The answer was good enough for you so you wasted no time in leaning forward and taking him in your mouth. Both of you let out content sighs as you tried to take him further.
You looked up to see him with his head leaned back, eyes scrunched closes in pleasure.
You pulled off with a pop, letting your hand work him over. “Better keep those pretty eyes on me before I decide you can’t finish.”
He looked down with a flash of worry, that was quickly replaced by a loud moan as you spit down on his cock before taking him in your mouth again.
For a germaphobe, Spencer loved how nasty it was. He was thanking god or whatever higher being there was for giving him his eidetic memory because the sight below him was something he’d never wanna forget.
Your eyes were teary and you had spit dribbling down your chin but he wanted nothing more than to give you more than just a kiss after you finished. Or well after he finishes.
You could tell he was close by the way he was throbbing on your tongue. Again taking him out of your mouth you used both hands to jerk him off.
“You’re doing such a good job baby. So good for me. You wanna cum in my mouth pretty boy?”
“God Y/n I’m so close please please please,” he whimpered out.
“Cum for me baby, be my good boy Spence,” you said before taking him down your throat. He was big, not girthy but long and it was a struggle but you’d be damned if you didn’t try to take him all.
Hollowing your cheeks you bobbed your head quickly, egging on his release further. His hands finally found a place in the back of your head. Pushing you down further as he came.
“F-fuck Y/n I’m gonna”
His moans and whines were a symphony of sounds you’d have on repeat in your head forever.
You swallowed the salty release but before you could even wipe your lips you were being pulled up by Spencer placing his lips on yours. You moaned into the kiss, his hands gripped the sides of your face not wanting to let you go.
The need for air made you both pull back. You looked at one another, chests heaving and looking like you ran a marathon.
Then a sad look came across his face.
“Spencer what’s wrong?”
“You didn’t get any pleasure,” he said looking like a hurt puppy. Oh your sweet boy.
“It’s ok baby, I can take care of myself,” you tried to shrug off.
He was quick to push you back on the couch, taking the spot you were previously in. His warm lips trailing down your exposed thighs.
“I wanna do it, but only if you kiss me after.”
#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#Spencer Reid fic#mgg fanfiction#mgg smut#mgg x reader#Criminal Minds Fanfiction#criminal minds smut#sub!spencer#chellewrites
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