Sorry yall I don't have anything new to post at the moment. I've been playing a ton of Sea of Thieves so I can get the frog lamp before the season ends in 2 days...
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I'm obsessed with the idea of a mischief maker Astarion. Like, that man has spent so long without autonomy that he uses all of it just to be a chronic little shit.
Imagine this: Astarion, bored, simply needs to cause mischief. His hands are twitchy and he simply cannot keep them to himself.
So he randomly gets up, walks over to where (probably Wyll) is like preparing vegtables for the night while Karlach stands beside him giving him terrible cooking advice. And Astarion just. Nonchalantly walks over, picks up a carrot, and walks away with it. Bites into it, too. Makes sure they see him do it. They know he doesn't need to eat it. He knows they know he doesn't need to eat it. He's a fucking vampire. But he does, and they can't do shit about it.
Or like. He just walks up to Gale, plucks the book from his hands, and starts reading. Stretches out, gets comfy, makes sure to make use of all of Gale's one pillow (because you know Gale is the type of man to have only one pillow) And just. Doesn't say anything.
And what's Gale gonna do about it?? Get mad? Astarion doesn't care. It's funny.
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securitywaiter headcanons bc i found out about this ship an hour ago and i'm already too deep into it
-generally agreed upon but ness is DEFINITELY a conspiracy theorist. i think he was into conspiracys since he was younger, starting off with more silly ones like birds aren't real and the moon landing is fake and then getting into deeper ones with maybe a bit of a lean towards true crime. then when the local pizzeria had missing children well...
-mike takes abby to the diner for her birthday bc what can u do in a small town! they give a free slice of cake for birthdays and have the workers come around your table to sing except ness is the only one to genuinely enjoy singing it and he's also arguably got the best voice out of all the workers (or at least he does in mike's opinion)
-abby ships it. yknow how little kids are almost too observant and then proceed to say the most cryptid things?? yeah, she notices mike smiling and making more small talk with ness than with any other waiter they get and suddenly shes playing matchmaker
i'll probably have more once i let them microwave in my head a bit
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