Can we talk about mitsuham I think we should talk about mitsuham yes I’d like that very much

Imagine Mitsuru her life has been planned out for her by a bunch of men her choices are not hers to make every move is political she is nothing but a tool forced to fight as a child never allowed to burden anyone with her feelings. Her life isn’t hers, it’s never been hers for a second, she exists to further the careers of the men around her. The first two friends she makes are both boys and she was in charge of leading them, using them just to further the Kirijo agenda. Genuine friendship did blossom between them, but things fell apart pretty quickly. Shinjiro can’t control Castor, something is seriously wrong with him, he kills someone, then he leaves and the Kirijos cover it up. Was it to protect him, or to protect themselves? Mitsuru certainly doesn’t know anymore but she’s lost a friend and can’t reach him again, he’s too traumatized by personas and Akihiko is still there but he’s always so stuck on Shinjiro and Mitsuru feels like she failed both of them. Just more men for her to let down by not being good enough

Then there’s Kotone. Sweet, strong, clumsy, talented Kotone. She’s so bubbly and friendly, but behind those warm smiles is horrible loneliness. Pain. But she’s never ever gonna let anyone see that. She busies herself by taking care of everyone else, listening to their problems and never burdening them with her own feelings. She can just fix everything and make everyone happy if she works herself hard enough. She just has this way about her, so reliable and so kind

And Mitsuru watches Kotone from above. Trusts her to be the leader, or maybe she just wanted to push a burden onto someone else for a change. Someone who’s able to take on burdens with a smile for fucks sake. And Kotone leads, seemingly effortlessly, and is able to recruit several members in a short time and achieve just so much more than Mitsuru could in her entire lifetime. Just, perfectly. Without even possessing any prior knowledge of the dark hour or personas. And she does this while being so emotional, so social, so weird, so fucking cute, it’s absolutely nauseating. This should be fine, right? It’s what Mitsuru’s always wanted, for someone else to ease her burden. And hell, it’s a woman too, a woman who’s perfectly capable of doing it all without a bunch of men helping her. It’s inspiring, isn’t it?

But there’s the pain. The envy. Kotone is perfect and she doesn’t even have to try. Mitsuru on the other hand has been shaving herself down to nothing just to be allowed a place. She makes the perfect grades and wears the beautiful clothes and applies the fucking makeup and is mature for her age and never speaks out or feels anything that could possibly make her be seen as a human, a filthy fucking human. So why does a woman as unashamed as Kotone get to have it all? And why is Mitsuru still here, still acting as the Kirijo tool, still doing whatever she possibly can to hurt herself to make a man feel better? Why isn’t she useful anywhere? It’s not fair

And then when she actually spends the time with Kotone she’s trying so hard to be that wise and mature figure she’s always been, trying so hard to force herself to smile through the pain, but she’s talking to someone who can see right through that shit cuz Kotone Shiomi invented lying through her teeth to make others feel better. It’s annoying really, how Kotone is supposed to be the childish one, yet it’s Mitsuru who can’t get it together and can’t seem to look into those bright eyes without breaking. And Kotone isn’t disgusted by what she sees, even though Mitsuru is being unreasonable and emotional and talking about wanting to run away and how much she hates her life and how she’s not only eating fast food but enjoying it, letting herself enjoy an indulgence that won’t make her pretty anymore. No, Kotone sees this and listens and encourages it and celebrates it, celebrates how utterly human Mitsuru is. She holds her hand and says "let me take on your burden". And it’s horrible, this kindness, Mitsuru hasn’t even broken all her bones to make Kotone happy, so why is she being so fucking nice? And then something breaks, and Kotone defends her. Stands up for her against a man. Lets herself once again take a hit to protect someone else. And it’s just too familiar, too much to fucking bear, and it pisses Mitsuru the fuck off. And she is able to tell a man to go fuck himself, because no one gets to fucking talk to this girl like she isn’t the most amazing person ever to exist. Not after everything she’s done, everything she still does, not after giving her all and never once asking for anything in return. And in standing up for Kotone, Mitsuru is able to stand up for herself for the first time in her life. And she looks at Kotone and says "let’s take on each other’s burdens"

Oh and also they watch a scary movie together and hold hands and ride a motorcycle and Mitsuru calls Kotone adorable I mean that’s pretty gay man

Do you have recommendations for shows/books/whatever with canon/basically canon polyamory?

ok the only media w officially canon polyam i personally consumed are Iron Widow and Hades.

Iron Widow is a mecha scifi/chinese fantasy book, it has pacific rim mechanics, so it takes 2 ppl to pilot the mecha but its more dystopian in that the pilot (male) usually drains the life force of his concubine (female). the mc has a guy shes interested in from the start but she pushes him aside to seek her goals to become a concubine pilot (theres a very good reason for this but i dont wanna give too much away) ends up being forced to work w the most dangerous pilot (spoilers hes actually a misunderstood sweetheart and i love him), her first love somehow finds his way back into her life so he can be their ally and its very clear from the first time he meets the other guy that this bitch is bi af. At one point he literslly saves their lives and i wont elaborate on that cause again spoilers but someone mentioned it in a propaganda ask. They canonically fall in live w each other and start dating. Please look up the trigger warnings first cause theres some heavy subjects addressed in this book. The book itself has trigger warnings listed at the start so if u find it at a book store u can check them this was too.

Hades is a roguelike videogame w dating sim mechanics (ish) -you give gifts to characters to learn more about them, and theres two romance options but you can romance both at once, they're both aware of and okay with it, hinting that they mightve had a past even before zagreus was born (its greek gods one is death incarnate the other is one of the furies, they've basically existed since forever)

From the submissions I got:

ive been told Leverage is like the korrasami of polyam, as in they were as polyam as they could be in a show from 2010, so it sounds like its canon but not explicit because they couldnt get away with that.

The girls from Amphibia are apparently in a similar situation, heavily implied canon, someone told me it was confirmed by people who worked on the show, but i dont think its explicitly stated.

The Kane Chronicles apparently also has canon polyam, although its 2 bodies, cause I think one of them has a god in him or something? I never read the books, but I was told Sadie (i think thats her name? The girl) is in love w both of them, and kinda dating both too i think?

I dont know if Singing in the Rain is canon but theres that kiss gif that got prrtty popular on tumblr where kathy kisses one of the guys then the other, so it looks canon? or at least implied canon?

Sense8 as some people have mentioned has 1 officially confirmed to be canon throuple, 1 that has a lot of hints to confirm but a lot of ppl see it as a gay couple w a very supportive friend ig and someone else said in general because of the plot u could kind of see the 8 of them as a big polycule, although that one isnt canon

HoneyWorks/Heroine Tarumono is one of those songs turned novel turned anime. i dont think its confirmed canon but theres a lot of stuff pointing to the possibility, you mightve see @non-fantasy telling me about them in a few asks. im obsessed and ive yet to watch anything

Penumbra Podcast: Second Citadel has Rilla/Sir Damien/Lord Arum, i also haven't listened to this one but a lot of people told me rilla and damien were in a pre-established relstionship, both got crushed on lord arum separately, talked about it and worked things out to now be a canon polycule

im She-Ra (netflix) theres a trio that is implied to be a polycule at the end, a lot of ppl called them canon in the notes but i dont personally ember it being confirmed? i am very forgetful tho. It's Rogelio/Kyle/Lonnie, unfortunately they lost the prelim round

I believe people submitted some others that were canon but im very forgetful so i cant remember right now

funniest moment ive lived recently is explaining to ppl the critters dynamics in my au. its funnier when i explain catnap and dogday to anyone outside of my friendgroup or in real life.

like i can easily explain:

"no, yeah. bobby and crafty?? best friends in middle school, both the weird kids that at first thought the other was weird but then they bonded, talked about """weird yaoi ships"""" all the time and r embarassed of it now. crafty was really awkward and bobby was kind of an extrovert but was also really awkward about it, their first kiss was with eachother but they dont talk about it bc they hated it right after lol BUT everything in the spirit of experimentation right???(and they were queer)"

then i hit them with the:

"bubba, kickin and picky knew eachother since childhood but separated for a while at the start of middle school bc drama, after that they kind of recconected again and met hoppy later bc she changed schools. bubba was cool all through highschool dude was HANDSOME, picky took no shit from anyone and was loved and hated at the same time for some reason, kickin was kind of class clown but dude was also really nice usually. hoppy was MEAN but loved by the friend group, girly almost got bullied for liking girls but she broke the dudes nose and then no one said anymore shit lol "

and its all fun and games till i get to the weirdos lol

"................................................... dogday and catnap? lol they met in kindergarten and hated eachother bc their animals behavious translated as aggression. no but they actually stayed togehter through thick and thin since they kind of got ostracized by their peers because dogday was too hyper and catnap looked scary, and eventually kind of traumabonded through the years and became best friends for a while..................and now they have like a weird codependent kind of gay friendship but they swear its nothing but its kind of clearly there."

and then sometimes im lucky and theyre like also queer like me and they understand that kind of thing happens. but other times, having to explain THAT is not fun.

LMAOOOO but yes. the critters have all hated eachother at some point in my au.

drama also happened alot when theY started to living togehter but that involves worldbuilding and talking about their family background and honestly im not sure if anyone other than me is interested in this lore LMAO

rowan’s gmmtv2024 report:

hi everyone im back from my interview (i dont know yet but i’m hopeful, cross your fingers for me) and im supposed to take a nap before work but i have to yell a bit first you understand

(positives)

1. pluto……. oh my GOD

you guys dont get it i was Really into midnight museum june. i tried my best to watch a lot of things i really didnt like just for namtan tipnaree. i like her So Lots. and namtanfilm i just fully….. had no idea. absolutely none. but it works!! i love it!!! the plot is bonkers (your dead(?) twin was the girlfriend of a now-blind girl that you're lying to now?) and under normal circumstances i wouldnt be interested but namtanfilm Killed this trailer and i also know im going to have Bad second couple syndrome re: whatevers going on with ciize. i love ciize so much.

this was so so soooo good n unexpected . girls kissing onscreen at My gmmtv announcement? :') plus their bathtub scene & that princesses moment.. yeah. that fucks

2. my golden blood

photo proof of me going mildly ballistic about the rumors last week. i did indeed say a few unholy things shortly after this. and to have it be a VAMPIRE BL? gods save us all im going to be so annoying. i was a twilight kid you know it im going to shovel this into my face with abandon

im so down for vampire au fanfic main character princess gawin honestly. wanted by supernatural creatures for his sexy special blood! bridal carried! blood on his university top!!!! i love it i love it i love it

is this objectively a tad embarrassing? yes. are the special effects painfully cheesy? yes. do i care? no 💜

3. peaceful property

this was just so fun to watch the trailer :’) i really love the found family vibes i was getting plus the over the top ghost shenanigans. i’m a casual tay tawan enjoyer & i do really love jan (alex&nim / newjan in warp effect were very fun to me). the trailer felt very warm n fun and bright, so im down. im into it

4. the trainee

we are in “sure i’ll watch that” territory now instead of extreme excitement but i thought this trailer was really fun & cute. i love view, obviously, so the amount of screentime her character got was good for me, and im 👀👀 about those girls. and offgun’s relationship seemed really fun & genuine :’) this seems nice! dont let me down!

5. wandee goodday

i think this looks fun! its a higher heat but still silly, which suits, and it appears to have fake dating which is a weakness trope of mine. also this is one of my bingo squares (adult non-office bl) so yes absolutely ill watch this. thank you p’golf but Please can we get podd Something this time

(mixed feelings)

6. kidnap

i have notably dissonant emotions about ohm pawat (lets not get into it) but i do actually enjoy this kind of forced proximity plotline even if i fear what theyll do with the opening kidnapper/kidnapee relationship. i feel… Something…. about this? yes. something is being felt. there is hope for me here, maybe, perhaps. really though if they want to keep him they should give ohm a smiley role again someday. it feels like everything ive seen him in since bb is all…. violence generational trauma death etc (for the worse imo)

7. gemfourth kiekoi

i think they can do it and it’ll be cute... gemfourth suit aoki and iida well. its just…. i dont know, i have an instinctive ‘noooo’ reaction to this remake. i like kiekoi soso much and i worry a lot. it does not have the exact charm for me.

also for me i wanted something a little different out of gemfourth. they have the range. but again, i do think theyll do well enough with this? so i'm mostly just being..... idk. :<

8. we are

i will at the very least attend e1! but this is too many couples for me if im honest, and they dont seem to be gunning to do anything super interesting. i do love aouboom & i like pondphuwin a lot (i Love pond’s hair in this trailer btw bless) but …. im not invested enough to make it interesting on its own. and [pouty baby voice] i wanted aouboom leads

(negative but ill try to be brief)

9. ossan’s love (the most negative of them all. look away. im so sorry earthmix i love you)

you guys are going to give earth pirapat a fucking complex before he even turns 30. he BETTER be playing haruta (i know hes not). this is just so silly!!! gmmtv doesnt deserve to have this one! this is not right for so many reasons but the most important is that they have no actual correctly aged men. no no no i am so so opposed. and theres not even a trailer 😰 you guys cut that shit out

10. ploy’s yearbook

looks…okay, its giving 55:15 a little bit, but the filmjoong adopted siblings romance threw me so violently that i doubt ill even consider touching it. absolutely not, you guys. gmmtv failing to be normal about siblings yet again! even though i like several of these actresses a lot i really.. i cant do it. also..... is earth a high schooler or is he forty.,, i feel like they're gaslighting us somehow. pairing him with namtan will not improve this situation for me you can't get out of it so easy

(miscellaneous extra commentary no one asked for)

11. only boo (?)

this looks cute? but not in a way where ill watch it unless i have nothing else going on. also unless im mistaken... was that milkbook??? innovation. love it

12. high school frenemies

those boys should be being gay about it instead of whatever shit they're actually doing. very nearly gayer than some of the bl trailers. i do not like this kind of genre thing but viewjune are there so ill still at least consider it.

13. summer nights

incredible how little i can care about something so fast. i'm not like, seethingly angry or anything but it's incredible, truly, how fast any trace of interest dropped away

i dont have anything else to say about the trailers! i will not be addressing the music here as it pains me in many ways.

finally, the personal elephant in the room: no firstkhaotung at all :< you guys know what i am, so obviously i indulged in a little dramatics about it this morning but i do understand. there's a part two that we've now been thoroughly assured they'll be present in, and also they have a show that's actively airing right now, so i'm not too worried. i did sort of expect a minor role for one or both of them at the very least though? but if they actually get a break out of this i'll be happy. please rest boys

(also khaotung on school rangers is, objectively, hilarious. sorry baby they're gonna make you do tasks)

okay! that's all! perhaps nobody wanted to know this

Round 2

Propaganda why Kirito is insufferable:

He’s Kirito

Absolute nothing of a protagonist. Just plain annoying and unlike most shounens there never seems to be any challenge for him. He's just always the best at everything.

“Yeah, i was a beta tester. Yeah im better than you. This is something that is normal to assume because of the first fact” theres more but that shit is so wild to me it instantly made me hate his ass

Propaganda why Alex Eagleston is insufferable:

literally causes the end of the world by being The Absolute Worst and has done so multiple times including his alternate selves. he technically has three (and a half) love interests (cause theyre the only characters he can/attempt to kiss or express any attraction to) and he treats them all poorly first three vella sammy and essentia 2000 are cause hes a misogynist but they all get different flavors of it sammy gets fridged for the plot of the game and is basically never relevant again outside of a secret(?) ending. shes also based off of a real life dead person for no fucking reason. vella is subjected to weird speculation about her age in her introduction scene with alex saying something along the lines of she cant be older than him cause shes too pretty (alex is like 24 and vella 27 from what i recall its been a few years since ive thought about yiik) and has a weird internal monologue about his feminist ex girlfriend prompted by vella just existing. theres a weird scene when alex asks her if shes korean n says she looks vaguely ethnic making her uncomfortable. One Of His Alternate Selves Literally Caused Her To Leave Her Home Dimension Cause Of How Poorly He Treated Her and the context behind that is that to leave the world/timeline/dimension/whatever you're originally from you basically have to be super suicidal and he pushed her to that point by ghosting her for a while and next time vella saw him he was hooking up with a girl noticably younger than her (<- remember this) and immediately after being told this he can attempt to kiss her which has no actual repercussions. essentia 2000 is like technically supposed to be evil i guess but her goal is supposed to be killing alex so i cant fault her on that. the in game day after they first meet alex has like a monologue about how special and attractive she is ""she was like water filling all my cracks"" or some shit. all three girls are alternates of eachother and are on a sliding scale of how objectified they are by alex with who got it the worst depending on which aspect you're focusing on. other sort of love interest is rory (diversity loss!) who alex can attempt to kiss after he confides in him about something when rory is like 18-19 (hes meant to be about the same age as michael whos recently graduated high school) and depending on how alex treats him can literally kill himself and alex's reaction to learning this is to only focus on how terrible he feels before moving on n rory's death never being mentioned again. the whole point of the game is that alex is a piece of shit who cant even buy groceries for his mom without throwing a hissy fit about it but it undermines itself constantly by having characters forgive or just stop being mad at alex on a dime after hes been exceedingly shitty towards them in various ways and any sort of charm or endearing traits he had quickly wearing off due to him never shutting the fuck up. near the end of the game all the other party members are killed off in quick succession leaving alex by himself and all he can do is sulk in self pity before going on a space adventure or whatever to stop an alternate him thats linked to an alternate essentia and enlisting the player as a different alternate him to help fight various superficial flaws of himself (which arent even like the actual things that make him insufferable n a bad person) n then finish the job for him. i need to punt him into the sun

He constantly goes on annoying monologues about things that nobody cares about. In game he is meant to be kind of an asshole, but they never give him the necessary character development to make him feel like a proper flawed protagonist, yet the narrative makes him out to be a character who is ""deep down a good guy"". Also he doesn't seem to care about any of his friends/party members.

"""YIIK"" is a poorly written, irony-poisoned RPG using a real life actual unsolved murder as the basis for an inciting event, altered so that what happened to the victim was some ~scary supernatural stuff~ and also Alex was there being vaguely misogynistic the whole time and monologuing to no-one in a way no real human person thinks uncritically.

The game intends to paint Alex as a bad person, but this is implemented in such a snide and uninteresting manner which has nothing to actually say about him being this way, nor is it at all fun or entertaining to experience.

He has no idea what's going on, blindly following the plot with the vague motivation of being suddenly stricken with affection for a girl he basically called a freak as soon as he met her five minutes ago. He is self-absorbed, lazy and overconfident, constantly bemoaning and ignoring the needs and feelings of others. He is the only character given enough breathing space to have something to him, and yet manages to not even feel any sort of dimensional.

Also his shirt is an ad for the dev's last game.

An incel who always screams about everything and yet is overly pretentious about everything.ing manner which has nothing to actually say about him being this way, nor is it at all fun or entertaining to experience.

no actually ur so right. as someone who have been in primarily mlm fandom spaces as an afab person the rampant feminization that goes on with charles especially is crazy. ive been pretty public on my dislike of this characterization if charles because of like exactly what you said (which is excluding my own experience being feminized and treated poorly because of my more masculine gender expression). it makes me pretty uncomfortable to see this in specifically fandom spaces and incredibly uncomfortable so see outside if those places.

just to add, im not against feminization (i actually enjoy it a lot when its like niche kink stuff) but the way it is in formula 1 rpf is unlike anything else ive seen in other fandoms.

I agree, it is CRAZY to see how this has somehow become the default characterisation. I agree with your not being against feminisation as an entire concept and when done well it's fun but rather just....why does it seem to be the default? It's bizarre. On a note that I'm sure is entirely unrelated, someone pointed out to me the other day that (although a small valiant group of us are trying to change it) F/M genderbend is far more common than F/F genderbend in F1 RPF....I'm just going to leave that stat there and you can make your own conclusions but considering I got this anon when I posted only F/F Lestappen stuff for a couple of days like two months ago....

Yeah, it's a little disheartening and is part of the reason why I think I'm so anti the feminisation of Charles as a default characterisation. Fanfiction can be whatever you want it to be, but it has always been a queer space but I've seen it time and time again that when a queer ship becomes popular, people are more desperate to consume it within a hetnorm structure. I haven't just seen it with F1 RPF, there's been a big rise of this over the past half a decade or so which I think is due to the consumption of mlm content becoming widely accepted amongst gen z, but in a way that almost straightwashes queer relationships. I remember when RWRB came out and I watched it when I was home for a bit in the summer with a group of girls I knew from high school as part of an effort to be social, and it was so bizarre. Not only did I witness first hand them obsessively rewinding to watch the kiss and the sex scenes, while exclaiming "that's so hot", but they were obsessed with trying to guess which of them would top and which of them would bottom, and for me most damningly, I made a throwaway comment about Uma Thurman in a suit being very hot (tame compared to what they were saying) and I was met with silence and weird sideways looks or a retort of "Alex in a suit is so hot!". It was a little bit of a humbling experience, to see them root for LGBT acceptance for the hot characters on the screen but be blatantly uncomfortable by actual queer expression in their presence.

I'll be honest I've experienced similar things when I talk about F1, and I think that that's because F1 as a fandom space has really exploded in growth in the past couple of years and thus the newer mlm ships within it, especially the popular ones like Carlando and Lestappen, have been subject to this straightwashing more strongly than other older fandom spaces.

As you said I have zero issue with it when it's a conscious choice on the behalf of the creator, but when it becomes the 'norm' within fanon and people complain when roles are reversed, well, it really rubs me the wrong way. I'm interested to hear your continued thoughts if you have them!

ive been away from tumblr for such a long time, afraid it would trigger me. ive been doing so well:) i moved to another city. back to where i lived for a year, a year prior to this one. i was able to join a programme that enables me to study in this university again for a year as like an exchange student(?)-ish thing. it feels amazing. ive reconnected with two(three-ish?) extremely dear people to me and ive found my love for knowledge again. my apartment is so nice too. i live near a train station but i can barely hear anything, and if i do, the sounds are actually comforting. i used to dislike trains, they made me anxious but starting this summer i grew to love them and now i regularly even prefer them. i live on the top floor so my ceiling and walls are slanted but it brings me such comfort, my room in my parents' house also has it like that. i have a second floor, well half of it. there is a built-in ladder staircase. it feels extremely comforting. ive had to fix, and still have to fix, many things here bc its a relatively cheap apartment but im fine with that. it actually makes me feel more at home when i can work on the apartment and make it my own. it feels more like home when everything isnt perfect either. the washing machine was disgustingly dirty and the air ventilation thing above the stove is also so fucking nasty but ill deal w it.. not my first time renting an apartment...... .. .. . the emotional aspects of this place are way more important. ive adopted plants too this time around. and a lot more intentionally, ive made in-depth sheets on how to properly care for them. i speak to them and kiss them every day. i know i will buy at leasr one more plant. so far i have an aloe vera plant, alocasia zebrina(MY DEAREST but also the most needy), a chinese money plant and an ivy. i want another ivy but a diff one. right now i have the one called wonder, it looks very friendly, very round. i didnt intend to get this one but they got my order wrong but i didnt have the heart to exchange it so i will just keep it and buy the other ivy as a friend to it. i am so fond of the one that has, i cant seem to find its proper name, but the one that has extremely slim and elongated and really sharp star-like leaves. i figured maybe the two contrasting ivy plants would even look better together than just one. so maybe the wrong order was a blessing in disguise. im using plants to learn unconditional love and acceptance because my family definitely didnt provide me with that skill.. :d.. did the same with my childhood cat, thats why she was so extremely dear to me. when noone else in my family loved me unconditionally, she did:). ive been really motivated to study and read a lot of my own extracurricular stuff too. ive gone to really interesting tours and public programmes about nature and culture and society. ive actually enjoyed being on my own and had the balls to show up to places alone, i used to never be able to do that. i always had to have someone with me but its really limiting as many people around me right now have colliding interests. im also so insanely proud of myself for speaking up in a seminar!!!!!! u have no idea. NO IDEA how hard that has been for me. to realize my insight has value and should take up time and space in a seminar. ive always come so close to speaking but then my heart has raced out of my chest and then the moment passed. but this time i actually spoke up, i took the initiative and i didnt only speak abt the strict topic that our seminar text provided for that time but i brought up my individual reading!! and a girl in the seminar told me i spoke well!!(i didnt, god i was so nervous i stumbled upon my words so much and avoided all eye contact) AND ALSO the professor leading the seminar told me my answer was good too :) im so happy. im growing so much.

hello there!! ive actually been thinking of an obsessive, yandere Arashi narukami x f!reader where arashi basically drugged s/o and forced s/o to be with her, its a pretty typical scenario but ive rarely ever seen it with arashi, and i also wanna see Arashi taking advantage of s/o's naivety, slowly manipulating her ever since Arashi's taken interest towards s/o. i picture s/o suddenly waking up in some kind of odd room where she's tied up and s/o is only wearing undergarments by that point. after freaking out, Arashi slowly and steadily approaches s/o and threatens her to stay put if she doesnt want things to go corrupt. s/o was crying because she thought of Arashi as an older sister figure whom s/o have dearly trusted, from there on, Arashi starts to kiss s/o and marking her up, telling s/o that things are going to be fine as long as she listens to her(Arashi.) That's it for my request, i hope im not asking for too much lol, this can be considered as noncon, so i hope that this much is fine, thanks!! goodluck on your blog!!

You’re not asking for too much! sorry this took so long and ty for the well wishes!!! i might write out a full fic w this concept if you feel these r too short TwT

cw: noncon(touching), yandere, drugging, dollification(kinda), maybe ooc srry, not proof read

Naru is your closest girl bestie!

The two of you go to different schools and you really only ever see much of her on weekends but it’s not like you have anyone else to get closer to…

Girls nights that turn into sleep overs and shopping trips that could easily pass as dates are normal for you two but it seems to go right over your head.

Her lingering gazes and too tight back hugs where her hands linger on your chest just a little too long must mean nothing to you. 

You’d never look at her that way; she's like a sister to you! 

Maybe your air headedness is for the better. This way she can get away with much more without you even noticing. 

It’s a shame it had to come to this though

Not as if this was the first time she had slipped you something, far from it, this was just the first time it was something so strong and long lasting. 

Before it was just sleeping pills here and there to keep you knocked out long enough to give her a chance to feel you up a little. But this time it was more permanent. 

It had just become harder and harder to enjoy any of the time she spent with you knowing it would inevitably come to an end. Can you blame her????

Sure your jaw was too numb for you to speak and you only kept the muscles you could feel still under the blanket of her vague promise of making you regret it if you didn’t but you were hers now! For ever and ever.

Hers to play with hers to dress up and hers to kiss and cherish.

You just look so cute with glazed over eyes, covered in lipstick stains and almost lifelessly limp <3

12.4.22 - more

okay im going to be vulnerable and admit though ive owned house of leaves for a few months i was spurred to start reading it the other day after watching that video on myhouse.wad . no one make fun of me. that being said.

im not necessarily going though it super in depth and more just trying to unravel some stuff for funsies with some various help from old forums and what strikes me as sometimes glaringly missing from discussions on the book is the way it relates to women. like the fact that the house itself is treated as though it has a female identity will get talked about but theres not rlly discussions about the ramifications of that--how will and holloways posturing--named as explicitly about 'male dominance'--is essentially a fight over who gets to get the girl. wills early venture into the house is literally likened to karen kissing wax, like theyre BOTH infidelities, and thats not nearly the first time karen herself treats the situation like the house is her romantic rival or at least rival for wills attention (im not far enough in to have too solid a grasp on the implications of the name delial--but lets just say i have a suspicion?).

anyway whats maybe even more interesting than that is the way its kinda ALL about gender--its men who keep entering the house desperate to know what its about, its men driven to write about it and uncover its secret knowledge, and it drives them fucking crazy. like...you can read that--VERY EASILY--as men 'discovering' the ""hidden"" interiority of women, like, the very idea that women are complex people with their own ideas and emotions and inner worlds. the fact that the house has a secret inside is huge fucking news and just about every man in the novel reacts to it as such, but the reactions from women are like...not that. idk im not done with it by any means but the similarity between the conversations between karen & wax at the end ch VII and johnny & thumper at the end of VIII really apparent. when thumper is listening to johnny, seeking to understand him, being really invested and interested and not reacting with annoyance or disdain or boredom like he expects, it genuinely really knocks him out to the point he nearly cries--and then he bottles it up, writes it off, even when she echoes karens exact words flirting with wax he doesnt register it.

the text displays a consciousness around gendered expectations here, particularly bc thumper is a sex worker, that she cant be expected to intellectually engage w it, but she can and does...and then johnny doenst know what to DO about it, how to engage w a real moment of understanding between the sexes or whatever so he very consciously falls back on gender expectations for men and refuses to feel that connection, severing the tie he inadvertently built w her and consigning the moment to unknowable blackness. the void is invented by people determined to treat it as foreign--which often means treating it as hostile (holloways gun, johnnys suspicions when thumper didnt call him back).

that she ends with the comment 'you just need to get out of the house' is like...almost laughably on the nose especially w the way chauvanist culture has proliferated on the internet. like in the book too, dont get me wrong, its just so startlingly accurate to whats going on it seems like she really must UNDERSTAND in a way johnny fails to capture in his narration but still comes through due to her being kinda fucking great--sorry i REALLY like thumper in this actually she may be my favorite. its sort of difficult for me to look at the line and divorce it in my head from the phenomenon of the incel--read a certain way, you have johnny ranting and raving about how he just cant ever figure out what the collective 'woman' is thinking and all this time hes spent driving himself crazy about it, and thumper listening and understanding and very sympathetically and honestly saying 'that wouldnt be a big deal if you interacted w women instead of holing up inside trying to theorize about it.'

i dont necessarily think its a mistake that johnny is the kind of person he is, a partying womanizer or whatever, bc sex becomes his only interaction w women (his failure to talk abt the book w kyrie in favor or fucking her) just as entering the house becomes wills only interaction w it (or at least he rages when he cant have that interaction, he values it above others). the book is pretty clear about both of these acting as forms of penetration. as johnny gets more invested in the text he interacts more and more w the women zampano used as interpreters and comes more and more into contact w women and less and less able to deny their interiority.

the reaction from men that women are people is simple and plain disbelief, followed by disconnected, invasive, rigorous study, study that is likened to war, to surgery, to expedition--anything but understanding. its kind of baffling idk maybe im just not looking in the right place to see people talking about it but this sorta feels like...the point. hell even earlier in ch VII on page 91 you get will and holloway excitedly talking about calling the press about their huge discovery that no one will believe...and then just, karen, living her life, treated like an enigma. i literally have this written in my notes as "men discover women have internality; their wives decline to comment"

The opinions that literally no one asked for

Alright so yesterday I finished Fate: The Winx Saga and here are all my thoughts.

Disclaimer: These are just my opinions, so it's okay if you don't agree w me.

First off, STELLATRIX.

Can't get them off my mind and I'm a 100% sure Beatrix is gonna come back so it's fine. I absolutely love their dynamic and honestly, I've spent all the eps just waiting for their scenes and I am not ashamed of it. Btw, Stella should've been a lesbian, but it's fine. As long as she's sapphic I don't really care.

Also, I'm pretty sure theyre gonna be canon. Like, all their relationship is so queercoded, with parallels w other ships and everything??? No way they're just gal pals. I refuse. So yeah, in other words, I am clowning hard, which is not surprising cause all I ever do in life is clown over sapphic non-canon ships apparently. (I have a long history abt that)

Musa

Musa, girl, what have they done to you? I didn't hate the haircut as much as I thought I would (even tho its not great) but the clothes???? Hello????? It was hard to watch.

Also, I was kind of surprised w the fact that I liked her "transition" from mind fairy to Specialist, so I'm pretty pleased with her storyline. I will say this: I wish she were sapphic. Not bc of anything specific, but I do remember having a moment where I shipped her w Stella, cause I made a whole fanfic in my head abt them, so yeah.

Also, riven and musa????? Look, I don't normally like m/f ships (specially if they're not in a sitcom). Like, I don't hate them, but they don't give me the buzz, yk. Most times I'm just neutral about them, but I gotta say, man, that Riven and Musa... God, I loved their scenes. I found their dynamic so interesting and the chemistry. THE CHEMISTRY. The slowburn is gonna burn so good.

Terra + Flora

V happy with the fact that Terra is a lesbian cause we need more lgbtq+ people in this show (and in life in general). I will say her storyline w the specialist girl is a bit odd cause they don't really focus much on her (which they obvs should've done that) and isn't she dating someone else when they have their first kiss???? A bit confused abt that.

Other than that, I liked her storyline, and even tho her coming out isn't the best one Ive ever seen, I was pretty pleased. Especially the moment where she tells the whole group and she wants to dismiss it w the rug or smth (I forgot lol) and Stella comes in and hugs her???? Melts my heart.

Moving on, I didn't know how I was gonna feel abt Flora?? And I still don't know lol. I will say that the actress did a good job, but I think they should've added more bonding scenes between Flora and the other girls cause it just didn't feel like they were best friends just like the rest of the group? But maybe it's just me. Still, I don't know how I feel about Flora yet. Like, Im pretty sure I like her, but I think it's more about what she represents, (which is the cartoon character) than what she actually is. I definitely need to see more of her.

Also, the relationship w Terra,, it made sense but also it was too predictable. Like, its not bad but I did find it a tad basic and I wish they made it a bit differently. Like, I know it's hard to innovate but idk, maybe add a little something that makes them stand out? But again, maybe that's just me.

Aisha

Idk what to say abt her tbh, I just like her lol. I will say that it didn't make a lot of sense the way she reacted when she first met Grey (I think that's his name but in case its not, I'm talking abt the guy lol). Like, bro, the lake is not yours, chill. So it was a bit hard for me to get into the relationship but eventually I kinda did, so yeah. V sad that the first boyfriend she has, turns out to be a blood witch. The bestie cannot catch a break lol.

I will say that, (a bit of constructive criticism here) I find Aisha as a character a bit flat. And not only her, I think that in general all the characters except maybe Beatrix and even Riven(?) seem pretty shallow to me. Or maybe like, not shallow but as if they haven't still found their own spark? Idk if this makes sense but I feel like most characters fall into these cliches and tropes, which is totally fine, cause nowadays literally everyone needs to fall into one of these, like it's literally unavoidable. But baby, you need to add a bit of their own spark to make them stand out. To make them memorable, yk? So yeah, I wish they stopped and tried to work on the characters a bit more. Like, Stella, Musa and even Terra are not as bad (even tho imo they a bit of work from the writers wouldn't hurt cause Im pretty sure the actresses make more than half of the work in this aspect) but Aisha, Flora, Sky and especially Bloom... It's bad yall. It's very bad (Will explain the Bloom thing later, don't hate me just yet)

BTW: I say all of this out of all the love in my heart, cause I believe in all the characters and I see the potential, and what they could become. And I hate the fact that I can see it and they're just wasting it so yeah. Don't hate me besties <333

Bloom + Sky

I'm sorry but Bloom is the most basic female main character from a sci-fi tv show you can ever have. Like, bro, just put a little more effort into creating her, please. Like, I'm begging. Maybe it's just me, but the bestie is missing personality (not dragging the actress, just the writers and how they did it), cause yeah, its fine if she wants to sacrifice herself all the time, or if she wants to do everything alone cause she's special n stuff but it's like her whole personality is revolving around her having the Dragon Flame. Which yeah, it is important and it is a v important part of her life but dude. Dont make her one-dimensional.

This also happens w Sky btw. And ofc when you put a bland character w another bland character everything gets... well. Not great. But I won't get into their relationship bc honestly, I do not care. Like I said before, m/f relationships don't give me the buzz so yeah.

To wrap it up...

I did like the second season. I would like to say I liked it more than the first one but I barely remember anything of it, so yeah, lol (Im a horrible fan, I know). I will say that idk what it is, that's making me continue the show, cause I normally only consume sapphic/lgbt media, but here we are. And I did want to leave it a few times cause the heavy straight content is so strong, but Im glad I continued it. And I hope they get renewed for a third season cause I really believe that it has potential and yeah, that's all for now ig. Maybe I'll do another post talking abt other stuff, like plotwise or smth. We'll see. But it'll def be shorter than this cause holy shit, this is long for a person who "isn't v into the show anyways" (that's me lying to myself btw lol)

N e ways idk whos gonna read this, but on the off chance someone has read through all my bullshit and is reading these last sentences, woah, I'm impressed. I cannot believe you've stuck around to know all the thoughts of a random stranger on the internet abt a show abt fairies lol.

N e ways, I love you and have a good day <3333

Kindly,

The random stranger on the internet.

Suresh Route Episode Summary: 33

Ok babies here we go Ep. 33 Summary!!

Spoilers under the cut...

We get a text re: safe couples, Finn & Kat - FINN GIVES MC A LONGING GLANCE, Alfie & Meera are next...Alfie also gives MC a subtle glance (I guess ive grafted him less lol), next safe couple is Suresh and Lulu...he glances your way (FINALLY)...the bottom two couples are Gabi and Dana + Pete and Arlo. PARLO is sent packing!

We get to tell Arlo we're glad she's going!! And I def told her that...bye girly!! AND WE GET TO TELL HER SOME HOME TRUTHS!!!!! "No its not a joke. But you are though!" MC where have u been hiding this whole time?! Arlo APOLOGIZES to MC....

OK NICOLAS....literally just said MC is not his type...excuse me?! Idk if this is bc I was mean to him last week tho. either way I told him I dont think things are going well when he asked.

Pete is all butthurt that him and Arlo are going home...and asks MC if she thinks this was the right call. it's too bad for Pete that he thinks nice MC is still around, bc im a villain now and I told him YUP BUD we absolutely made the right call.

Gabi says she's glad the right people stayed in the villa and catches Suresh's eye....but he quickly turns and puts his around Lulu 🙄

Finn suggests everyone plays Never Have I Ever...the girls go to dressing room to debrief. The girls want to know how Nicolas + MC are getting on because it seems like hes flirting with everyone. Gabi didnt seem to notice because shes been catching up with Suresh (what fun!) I told them he's playing games and im annoyed with him

Kat gives u an ice skating outfit to wear for Never Have I Ever 😫

GEM SCENE with LULU + GABI - LULU SAYS THERES NO SPARK BTWN HER AND SURESH...and that she has her eyes on another islander - prob MC tbf. I actually really like this lil moment btwn the 3 😭

Never Have I Ever...if u choose the first one Suresh says he didnt know about it!! finally something we've done that didnt involve him..

GEM SCENE - KAT SAYS NEVER HAVE I EVER REGRETTED WHO I COUPLED WITH AFTER CASA!!! Suresh drinks!!! I drank immediately LOL...omg omg FINN DRINKS and looks at MC

Finn finally admitted he and MC kissed on their first date!! Kat obvi gets mad at MC but Lulu + Gabi have MCs back 🥰 BESTIES! Meera obviously doesnt.

MEERA IS COLD!!!! She says never have I ever pretended to be into someone I wasnt actually interested in....I drank but would love to see the not drink option too

NICOLAS 🙄 claims he was under our spell but now sees the person we truly are...untrustworthy, most manipulative person in the villa - OH AND HE CAN PROVE IT! 😩😩😩 I hate this man...I knew I was right to be mean to him 😭😩

before i go to bed, since its ace week

hi. my name is night. im an aroace agender person

i dont connect with a gender. im physically a woman cause i dont know what i want from my body to actually look like, and getting treatment is behind a wall made out of loooooong time of doctors appointments and therapy and tests and whatnot. even more so for a person like me who has been diagnosed with mental issues before. however, that doesnt change the fact that i feel no connection to this gender, or any other - i mentally see myself just as a meat blob, having to just exist in this body without another option right now, tho what i physically look like on the outside rn does not represent how i actually feel. i know im genderless. im not a woman nor do i want to be, im also not a man nor do i wanna be that either. im also not a secret third option, im no option at all. im the 'opt out to not answer this question' button. the none of the other

im also very much an aromantic. ive had crushes before tho so ive thought for the longest time i might be demi. cause all my crushes came to be after a mental connection with these people were made. but it also never came with more than 'oh this person was nice to me at a time i really needed that, i like them and wanna maybe like be close to them and idk hold hands??’ but thinking back on it now, ive never actually like. felt romantic towards anyone. i have never been in love as far as im concerned. i dont like kissing, hugs and hand holding are reserved for people i care about closely but not in a sense where i wanna date them. or maybe i’d like to try, but i also know im never gonna love them as more than my friends. any kind of intimate bullshit is out of the question unless we’re close friends and mostly when i initiate. i think im incapable of feeling romantic love, but i dont think this is a bad thing in the slightest. i just view it as the necessary evil in a sense, where all the love i do got to give is the same for everyone regardless of our status and their gender etc., and its just a sign that we are friends. i have a love language, but its not romantic, i dont feel it, but i still show it to people who i deeply do care about. and thats okay

ive always been ace. i grew up always thinking everyone else was weird (and honestly kinda gross lmao) thinking about sex and kissing and boyfriends and girlfriends and i was just. idk in a sense trying to fit in. but i never leaned that way, i still dont - ive known for the longest time that i am sex repulsed, thats nothing new to me, which is why even as a supposed adult at the ripe age of 30 (lol) im still not getting into smut, like yeah that should be saying something. like this started when i was maybe like 12 or 13 and this kind of stuff started to pop up for the first time in my small friend circle, and i just never got into anything like that that a person my age was maybe supposed to. i was never interested. and one thing im thankful about having grown up the fucked up way i did is that i never dated. i never had to find out about my orientation that way. like maybe i spent a lot of time thinking i was a demi on this section too, just thinking that it was very normal for kids not to be that horny as i wasnt either - but i still couldnt get into the “horny” stuff kids my age were getting into. it was weird. but, i had all the time to think about it, and eventually when i got old enough to separate the sexual and romantic attractions and online became a place i could search on my own safely (yay first own laptop!) and more informative about this stuff, the labels just. kinda fell into my lap. and it made sense. ive made my peace about being this way a long time ago and i dont care what that makes me in someone elses eyes (for example, my mom thinks its better that im “supposedly ace” rather than i would date girls :))) ), i know who i am and how i am. and im ace. and you can have all the sex you want idc im not here to preach i just know thats not for me and i do not crave for it, not now, not ever, and never have

oh and also yeah i think my bio says flux in there, its a thing i was made aware of recently in my last identity meltdown few months ago, which is basically like. you are the base of these identities (in this case, aroace) but some times it might very slightly but noticeably fluctuate towards something else for a brief amount of time - so if you’ve ever seen one of my gay panic moments yeah it might be actual real gay feelings i have. i dont know, but it feels appropriate and accurate and even if its not, having a little label to pin on it like an asterisk helps my anxiety about it so. yeah. and thats the most important things

im not only writing this to make it clear who i am and what i am, but maybe someone will see this and know that no matter what they identify as and what they are, they are valid and loved. if nothing else, i love you 💜

“Do you know how tiring it is to have to reforge a bond every single time I change hands? Maybe being the Gem of Intelligence means I have to deal with so many egotistical mongrels one after the other with no breaks in between, and maybe you’re the first to actually treat me like a person!”

Felt like doing something funky for the one year anniversary of @maldito-arbol ‘s fic Ill Be Your Best Friend, second in the Were Just Human series!

Ive done this comic before but i thought it would be fun to do it a second time to compare and its such a good scene overall so. Its crazy that its been a year, it both feels like too long and not long enough. Im so glad i decided to read this series it is so good the writing is amazing and the characters are all so complicated and interesting, and of course all the people I’ve met and become friends with because of it! so i just wanna say thanks Mal, for deciding to write this i guess, this fic has been amazing it was a wonderful thing to look forward to every second Friday and its crazy to think i could have easily never met you or anyone else in the server or not if it hadn’t been for this series. So thanks and i hope this comic shows even a bit of my appreciation for you and your fic

And to anyone who hasn’t read the series, you should!! I Love fic 1 Marcy’s unreliable narrator and her mumbling habit keeping me on my toes trying to keep track of everything. The girls’ powers and the introduction to the gems and everything that happens with that is just *chefs kiss* amazing, and don’t even get me Started on fic 3 i cant even say anything without spoiling! So if you haven’t read it, go read it! Its such a good series and the writing and characters are incredible and agh! And if you have read it, read it again i don’t care its so good i could re-read it endlessly

I'VE BEEN BINGING SPACE BOY FOR LIKE HALF AN HOUR AND IVE TEARED UP SO MANY TIMES BUT AS SOON AS AMY WENT AHEAD AND CALLED JEMMAH I STARTED BAWLING MY EYES OUT

anyway tysm for recommending this to me, this is the first piece of media I've actually like... really really connected with (my parents are planning on moving our family across the country), and I honestly think I really needed it. I love it so much.

Highlights so far:

-I really like that there's no mean characters. I keep waiting for a bully or smth but everyone she meets genuinely has her best interests at heart. It's honestly so refreshing

-The fact that Cassie didn't immediately get suspicious and defensive and overprotective when she saw David hanging out with a new girl was again, super refreshing compared the all the One Chicago I watch lmao. i love it but im so tired of the overreactions

-Oliver's notes are so cute, and the way he cherished her little doodle on his hand and copied and put it in the notes 🥺🥺🥺

-"I'm glad you exist." 😭😭😭

-THE CALL TO JEMMAH KILLED ME IM LITERALLY SHAKING IM CRYING SO HARD

anyway i love this with my whole heart, ty again for the recommendation, and ily <333

and sorry for the long ask lmao

Right?? it hit so freaking hard 😭😭!! Literally saw the first panel of the chapter and tears are already forming, Something about how the author writes gives it a touch of familiar relatability that really cuts deep, but in a good way yk?

Aaaaa I'm glad you liked it and that it been able to help a bit, moving must be scary and isolating, even if it's still with your family :( , much love friend, my messages are always open if you ever wanna talk ❤

And abt the highlights, !!!!! Literally!!! The characters and their interactions are all so tridimensional it's actually insane!!, I'll always get a kick out of shows like your chicago ones haha, but characters being written in such a mature and complex way and not really being put into boxes is *chefs kiss*

Also aaaaaaaaaaa Amy and Oliver, they make me so ill 😭❤!!! I'm usually mild about shipping but not with these 2 adshsgsgwhsgwgdg, I think it's bc instead of going 'hey don't these 2 look pretty together? 🙂', the author fleshed them out as individuals and had them establish an actual friendship, so the audience ships them but the story itself takes it's time building up to that :') <3<3<3

Really really glad you're enjoying the story <3!!! Just started a re read bc its been a while, so you can send asks and It'll be fresh in my mind ^^, we can be insane together hahaha (Also never ever apologize for a long ask, yk that's how we vibe here <3<3<3!!!)

primeeeeeenumb

ive made it home and watched some anime (literally only one show has come out since yesterday despite me watching like 18 of them) so i can finally work on these

2. Favorite color when you were younger, and now?

yellow when i was younger, now i think it'd be sky blue

3. Do you wear eye-shadow? What color?

nah makeup isnt my thing

5. In your opinion, is love at first sight real?

definitely not im wayyy way way too demi for that.

7. First kiss details? (If you haven’t been kissed, reply how and if you would like to be.)

if you mean my first actual kiss on the lips by any definition, it would be when i was like in middle school and i somehow blanked on how my grandma normally kissed me goodbye and my brain was like 'it was lips right? probably lips'. it was not lips.

my actual first kiss with someone outside of family was with my 2nd girlfriend (the one i was engaged to for several years) i stopped her in my parents garage on our way to my car and kissed her. this was notably like, what, several weeks after we started dating? i did not move very quickly.

11. What is your hair like?

dirty :( i need a shower. but it's brown, thin, slightly wavy, mid-back length? so many split ends. usually tied and over my shoulder like a dead anime mom. really need to get some kinda bangs situation going on so i dont look like shit when i do this but eh. the nurse said it was healthy.

13. What time do you go to bed? What time do you wake up?

usually around noon, and wake up around 7pm. but im diurnal for now so i dont know what my schedule will be.

17. Favorite game as a child?

hmm. when i was in boy scouts we would spend like 30 minutes of every weekly meeting playing Dark Hide & Seek in the church basement we were using. it was a really good location for it, the goal was at the end of a hallway so there was only one way to get there, and there were rooms branching off it, including an open kitchen with an island for circling maneuvers, and at the far end was a big open room with some other rooms inside. provided a lot of variety despite the ostensibly simple layout. mike broke his nose once. its still crooked. good times!

19. Princess, Fairy, Mermaid, or Unicorn?

like, what id like to be? of these, fairy. id like to fly and do magic.

23. Do you dance? Slow dance?

definitely not regular dance. i would slow dance with a girl if pressed and have before. but not any dances done like, For Fun. bc they are not fun for emily

29. When and who was your first crush?

the cute redhead from my class when i was in 8th grade. 2 days prior i had no interest in romance. the next day i was like 'hmm well theres a couple girls i would be ok with dating'. and then i woke up the next morning and spent the whole day in an impenetrable haze of rapidly mounting obsession as my parents drove me and my brother to the pro football hall of fame and back. and i was a complete lost cause for the next couple of years despite being rejected almost immediately. it was a saturday and i'd planned to keep it to myself, but by tuesday i'd confessed (in writing, because i have never in my life had the guts to do it verbally) and been summarily dismissed. ive never been good at handling emotions, it turns out.

31. Are you superstitious?

nah

37. Are you quiet or loud?

usually quiet. i can get carried away though

41. Worst fear as a kid?

bees probably

43. does not exist!

47. Do you feel everything, nothing, or you don’t know what to feel?

i feel some things!

hiii tell me about your show pls!!!

1) i love you. we should kiss

2) before i get into this because im #scared ppl will make fun of me, I’m aware that my show is a teen drama and deserves criticism in some areas, i am actually very interested in having long conversations about this criticism bc i think that its genuinely interesting and i have a lot of thoughts about how some themes such as (and especially) class could/should be handled going forward in the final season. However, i also think that it is a very well made show and also very well written (99% of the time lol) and explores very interesting lgbt+ themes and is the first show in a while that ive seen that portrays first/new/young lgbt relationships really well. That is my disclaimer.

3) so. its called young royals on netflix. and its my favourite thing in the entire world. Its a swedish show centred around the prince of Sweden, Wilhelm (diagnosed autistic by me. bc i said so.) Key facts about him are: anxiety disorder, lame, sometimes I wish i could smack him upside the head but with love. Wilhelm is sent to a private boarding school after getting into a very public fight in order to punish/straighten him out (pun intended). At this boarding school we are introduced to Simon (my fave character), who is a non boarder/scholarship student along with his sister. When we meet Simon for the first time its when he is singing a solo in the choir for the prince’s welcome ceremony/celebration thing. During this, Wilhelm basically um. falls in love. Well maybe not love but the boy is down BAD and it’s embarrassing for him. Key facts about Simon: i love him, has never done anything wrong ever, I love him. While Simon’s main ‘role’ as it were is love interest, I believe that the show does a fairly good job and creating depth for him as a character, providing a lot of context and information about him as an individual and as part of a relationship. He has his own plot lines and scenes completely separate to Wilhelm. HOWEVER I would also like this to be explored further in the 3rd season, and I hope we see a more emotional side to him too, because while we do see him express both positive and negative emotions, I still feel like he holds the especially negative ones back and away from other characters like Wilhelm - which is in character, however I personally would like to. see him cry or something idk because he deserves a breakdown. like a proper one with shouting and throwing things.

ANYWAY. We get to see their relationship grow over the episodes and honestly there is a little bit of flip flopping from Wilhelm, bc while Simon is confident in his sexuality, its implied that this is the first time Wilhelm has ever really acknowledged his attraction to the same gender, meaning we watch him learn how to (sort of) accept himself and be comfortable in liking Simon. PERSONALLY I think the way this is portrayed is quite authentic and at least somewhat similar to my own experience in coming to terms with being a lesbian specifically (although i never rlly got to kiss any girls about it so. that sucks). I think a really good example of this is their first kiss scene at the end of s1 ep 2, where we see Wilhelm making the first move when he initiates handholding (im aware of how juvenile the sentence sounds i just couldnt think of another way to put it lol) as they are watching a movie (its movie night so the two main dorms are all present, Forest Ridge (boys) and Manor House (girls). They have a cute little handholding moment until Wilhelm becomes flustered/anxious over people noticing and runs out of the room. Simon follows after a moment and this is when we get the first kiss. Simon is the one to initiate it the first two times and Wilhelm just kind of 🧍. He’s not good at this yet okay. After the second kiss, shocked back to reality by a noise from the movie down the hall, Wilhelm starts with ‘I’m sorry I’m not-‘ and Simon starts to leave, obviously sensing rejection. However, rejection does not come because Wilhelm grabs his arm and pulls him back. He’s clearly very anxious about the whole situation and running through his head is what I assume to be a million different thoughts of ‘am i allowed to want this? is this okay? do i want this? what will my mother say? this would be national news. What would my brother say? am i allowed? i dont think this is allowed.’ Simon does not say anything, allowing Wilhelm to take the time he needs to organise a coherent thought. And despite his anxiety, despite every thought in his head, he pulls Simon closer by his shirt and this time, Wilhelm is the one that kisses him.

I like this scene bc 1) its cute, like rlly cute 2) as I said i think this is a good example of the whole ‘coming to terms with it’ aspect because I remember that anxiety, I remember those ‘what would my mother think?’ thoughts and most importantly, I remember my lesbianism (or in Wilhelm’s case, his queerness and attraction to Simon) winning. I remember the way that once it popped into my head that ‘hey, you might be a lesbian’ it literally never left until i sat up one day and confronted it. And I think that this is a really sweet and probably true to life for some people way of showing this on screen.

Now. I actually have so much more to say about this show Like i could talk/type for HOURS. about it but I won’t. Know that there are so many details about this show and the casting choices and the writing and directing and acting choices that i am OBSESSED with throughout BOTH seasons. All that i typed literally only got us through 2 episodes and i didnt even talk about the other important bits. I really cannot over emphasise enough how much there is to this show. Anyway, I’m gonna leave it there though, but feel free to ask questions/for my opinion on any aspect of it. I will say if you havent watched it and somehow this has convinced you to do so, there are a few triggering subjects such as drug + alcohol addiction/misuse, death and grief, and MASSIVELY child exploitation material from season 1 ep 4 onwards - this is because a, if not THE, major plot point/conflict in the show is that a ‘sex tape’ (as it’s referred to sometimes) is filmed of Wilhelm and Simon (both 16yrs old in the show) without their knowledge or consent, and is then leaked to the public. I have some personal grievances about how this is handled in the show, however, I also dont think its handled ‘badly’, as the way the characters handle it is part of the plot and is ultimately part of what the show is criticising. If you want me to explain this further I can do as well, as i know this subject can obviously be very triggering and its best to know what youre getting into to decide if this show is right for you.