hey guys if any of you are interested at all in arrested development you should start watching it right now!!!! on march 15th it gets taken off of netflix and the fifth season potentially becomes lost media!!!!!!!

My completely unnecessary Marvel Phase 4 Review

Right so I been spending the past 2 weeks thinking about the MCU phase 4 and my thoughts on all the projects and also perceptions towards it. Is it worth writing out a college-level essay? Nope. But hey I'm a super fan so here we are XP I don't expect this to get more than 2-3 likes anyhow :P Let's begin. I'll even throw in pictures since I'm so nice ;D

WandaVision (8/10):

A really great, unique piece of subtle and poignant storytelling with great writing, acting, and directing.. until the final episode which felt rushed, and formulaic and didn't utilize Agatha to her full potential compared to the mystery that surrounded her the entire series. Also rushed Wanda's journey into acceptance when instead, that should have been saved for MoM with WV setting up the Darkhold and its corruption better to lead into MoM more smoothly. Still, I absolutely adored the sitcom aspects of the show and the ongoing week-to-week mystery. Mephisto memes were born here!

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (8.75/10):

What this series does well, it does extremely well, but what it also suffers from some severe problems. Thankfully the good things are more than the bad and that makes the series enjoyable. The racism aspect, Sam's arc, Isaiah's story, and the symbolism and subtext about the faults of America were all done amazingly! Bucky and John Walker felt a tiny bit underused and not as developed as they could have been, but still were incredible. The Flag-smashers and Sharon needed a lot more time and better writing to make the audience care about them. In general, the series tried to do A LOT with little time, which also made the finale a bit underwhelming. It needed at least 2 more episodes and better pacing/editing to make it feel more serialized rather than a movie sliced in parts, as well as some better writing for its villains and it could have been one of Marvel's best projects yet. Still, it's easily my favorite Disney plus show and let's not forget how incredible Zemo is and his awesome dance skills

Loki (9/10):

One of Marvel Studios' best storytelling endeavours yet. Amazing character development, some of the most philosophical themes that Marvel has touched on, and a very well-built world that feels both grounded and fantastical at the same time. Also some of the most visually beautiful cinematography, production design, and directing as well Marvel's best original score. This series truly felt and was epic and still stands as Marvel Studios' best D+ show. That said, it needed a bit tighter pacing and a meatier, less lenient story with more layers. Episodes 3, 4, and especially 5 felt quite empty and repetitive from a story and character progression standpoint and could have been compressed in 1.5/2 episodes. But I love the overall tone of it feeling like a Doctor Who show and the aesthetics of the TVA. And let's not forget Jonathan Majors insane performance as He Who Remains. Not to mention Loki falling in love with Loki, Our Loki getting a ton of character development, and Sylvie effectively ruining the multiverse. Thanks, Sylvie. (人◕ω◕)******

Black Widow (7.25/10):

The movie was just fine. Nothing more than that. It also came out too late (Thanks Perlmutter) and that coupled with its flat storytelling, especially surrounding the Red Room, and the truly unnecessarily extreme action made the movie feel like it had zero stakes and it ended up being forgettable and uninteresting. I have rewatched it since it first came out though and I actually enjoyed it more the second time around. I especially loved the first half with Natasha and Yelena. Unfortunately, the second half struggles to balance the Red Room threat and the family arc, making the catharsis and arc completion in the final act lacking and not-as-climactic. But at least we got Yelena who is one of my favorite new characters introduced!

What if...? (6.5/10):

A great concept with some great ideas, but it ultimately felt like 20 minutes to each episode wasn't nearly enough to properly tell most of these stories. That said, the animation was amazing and for an MCU fan, the series is still enjoyable enough to get through once. I mean there were some bangers like the zombies episode (@pyropsychiccollector loves it alot (人◕ω◕) ) and the Ultron episode at the very end. I also enjoyed the Captain Carter stuff and when Killmonger betrayed Iron-man but it definitely was the studio's first step into animation so they're going to be unrefined. Hopefully, by season 2 they have a better idea of what to work with.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (8.5/10):

A good, but rather formulaic origin story that was elevated to a great movie due to its strong lead, its beautiful and smooth cinematography and action choreography, its culturally unique story, and its great use of flashbacks that made for very compelling storytelling, tied to the cultural themes of memory that the film so gracefully explores. Not to mention that Wenwu is INCREDIBLE! One of the best MCU villains so far and his love/grief is strong storytelling. Honorable mentions of Katie and Xialing as well. Definitely, a strong start for a new character on the big screens even though it has issues to iron out

Eternals (7.75/10):

Much like TFATWS, this is a movie that tried to do too much. Too many characters, too many plotlines, and too many themes. And its runtime didn't allow it to reach the great potential that it had, making the ending fall flat and not really all that satisfying, especially with its cliffhanger, making this feel like a part 1 to a 2-part story narrative that may not even get concluded in this saga. That said, even with the time they had, Zhao and the Firpos made almost all the characters really well-rounded and realized and each with their own unique personality, struggles, and character arc, making them instantly iconic and likable, investing the audience in an otherwise quite long-winded story. But I will say the cinematography is absolutely stunning and Ikarus's dilemma at the end was textbook Shakespearean. And yes Tiamut WILL be a core thing moving forward in Phase 5, don't you worry. Also, Black Knight and Blade tease at the end~

Hawkeye (8.5/10):

A really fun, entertaining, heartfelt, emotional, and genuine Christmas action/adventure that knows what it is and doesn't try to outdo itself. My only complaint is that, like Eternals and TFATWS, they tried to do a lot and failed to give the appropriate weight to all of it. Yelena and Kingpin needed to appear earlier and they needed to better establish Kingpin's character and his relationships with Maya and Eleanor. Other than that, the show is the project that made me tear up the third most and it is a testament to Renner and Steinfeld's outstanding acting and the writers' simple, yet incredible exploration of their characters and their relationships with their families. It's funny though because originally I would've rated this a 6/10 when I first went through it but on the rewatch it was a lot stronger than I gave it credit. Also, Jack is a treat. And that damn musical LMAO

Spider-Man: No Way Home (9.25/10):

An almost perfect movie all around. Great writing, direction, cinematography, action, plot, structure, pacing, and a satisfying and very emotional conclusion to decades of storytelling. That said, the plot during the first half of the first act felt very convenient and sloppily-written, and was there just for the film to happen. It is completely understandable due to COVID reshuffling the release dates of this and Dr. Strange: In The Multiverse of Madness, but it still takes you a bit out of the narrative HOWEVER let's be fair. We ALL lost our shit when we saw Tobey and Andrew show up again! Even William as Green Goblin and Jamie Foxx as a MUCH better Electro. And Aunt May's death was the second movie in Phase 4 that made me cry like a baby. This movie was simply the perfect way to end Peter's prequel trilogy and now he will truly be Spider-Man moving forward.

Moon Knight (8.5/10):

An amazing, refreshing character piece with some of the best acting the MCU has seen with Oscar Isaac and Ethan Hawke. Really interesting and compelling storytelling, but with a mediocre and rehashed story. Also the different tones: the horror mystery of Episodes 1 and 2 and the adventure of episodes 3 and 4, the more serious psychological deep dive of episode 5, and the over-the-top super-hero action of episode 6 felt like they were colliding with each other, often making the series feel a little unfocused and not knowing what it wanted to do. That said, the plotting and structure were actually really good and they utilized the 6-episode structure really well unlike most of the shows. The pacing felt great and the slow character exploration of both Marc and Steven until the climax of their story in episodes 5 and 6 was remarkable. And I won't be remiss to bring up "It's your turn to lose". @pyropsychiccollector won't let that go XDD But seriously, Oscar Isaac absolutely gave an Oscar-level performance as Marc, Steven, and Jake. Check out Assembled: Moon Knight on Disney plus to see the insane work put into this show!

Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (8/10):

A very good story with great themes, ideas, and character arcs with.. some problems admittedly. Michael Waldron's slow, character-focused, introspective script and thematical ideas are jumbled and don't get as much focus and gravitas in Sam Raimi's unnecessarily frantically-paced, intense, action-packed, slasher horror. The writer and director are both amazing on their own, but they didn't work well together. That said, they each held each other back too. Without Waldron's interesting and nuanced script, Sam would have a made semi-mindless slasher, and without Raimi, Michael would have made a very long and potentially boring and slow-paced movie. With that out the way, I REALLY enjoy Strange character arc and realization that he had to be the one to not hold the knife, unlike his variants. Wanda was also brilliant and her descent into madness made perfect sense if you've seen WandaVision but also how Wanda had a moment of clarity at the end and did the right thing. Of course, there's the Illuminati with Patrick Stewart back as Professor Xavier, Anson Mount as Black Bolt, and John Krasinski as Reed Richards. And of course, those death scenes were freaking brutal! Also honorable mention to America Chavez, yes I can hear some of you moan about another mentor relationship but I really did enjoy her energy on screen.

Ms. Marvel (7.25/10):

Just like Hawkeye, this is a more low-stakes, slice-of-life, fun, and genuine piece that showcases teenage struggle and Muslim and Desi culture in a realistic, down-to-earth and authentic, albeit sometimes simplistic way. It doesn't try to be more than that and it does really well with what it is. It is elevated A LOT by the unique and beautiful direction and art direction, especially in episodes 1,2,3, and 6 as well as the great and vibrant cast, particularly the passionate newcomer, Iman Velani who brought Kamala Khan to life better than anyone else could and is a bigger MCU nerd than me! But it is also severely brought down by the VERY underdeveloped and rushed villains and the odd pacing of episodes 4 and 5. That said, the series is good enough to be entertaining, even with its mishaps, and its surface-level "for kids/teens" aesthetic betrays the amount of passion and subtext put into the show. Also, I personally learned a little about the partition from this wonderful series.

Thor: Love and Thunder (7.5/10):

Despite the hate this has gotten online, I genuinely believe that this film is great, but definitely not perfect. The movie knows what it is and what it wants to do and spends no minute wasted. It is slow, ponderous, serious, mature, and emotional when it needs to be and that is not undercut by humor, unlike Ragnarok, but it's also funny, passionate, genuine, heartfelt, and tender when it needs to be and it nails both tones perfectly with a great balance between the 2, again unlike Ragnarok.

The somber and serious moments in Love and Thunder (every scene with Gorr, the entire Shadow Realm sequence, Thor and Jane's relationship building and flashbacks, Jane's scene at the hospital and then her death, the last scene with "Love and Thunder") were executed much better than Ragnarok's (there's no somber moment after Odin dies as Hela immediately comes and throws Thor into the zany Sakaar, and we barely see Thor mourne as Loki immediately appears and ruins Thor's prayer, Surtur is treated like a complete joke, 2 of the warriors 3 die a "non-warrior-y" death, Asgard's destruction is literally made into one of the worst jokes in the MCU).

In my opinion, Ragnarok treats itself much less seriously when its stakes feel much larger and more daunting and depressing, causing a tonal divide, while Love and Thunder are supposed to be a fun adventure because Jane is hiding her pain and suffering as she is TRYING to spend the last few days of her life on a crazy, fun, zany adventure on purpose. Jane is being silly because she CHOOSES to be silly and have fun in her last moments and Thor feels silly because he is falling in love all over again and is at a point in his character arc where he feels comfortable to let himself be silly and mess around.

On the other hand, Ragnarok makes its characters silly for no apparent reason, making that movie more like a stand-up comedy than an actual story unfolding in front of our eyes. That said, most of Ragnarok's jokes are better and feel more organically inserted in the dialogue, while most of Love and Thunder's jokes don't land as well and sometimes may even feel SNL-level, taking you away from the story. Once the rate of jokes significantly decreases and their quality increases in the second half of the movie, the story really shines and gets you much more invested.

Cast was all at the top of their game and holy shit Bale just poured his heart and soul so much into this, although he did need quite more time, both to live up to his name, but also to be established as a serious and multi-layered threat and make the plot meatier. The opening and the ending were so, so, so well done! Soundtrack and cinematography were top notch, it elevated the movie so much! If someone asks me what the meaning of life is, I will show them this movie. Find love and do what makes you happy every single day like it's the last. Don't wait, don't sit around and ponder what the meaning of life is, just go out there and live it with the people you love the most! The ending was so good and solidified this theme so well, that any flaws mostly go away for me, because of how much it hit me emotionally.

She-Hulk (8/10):

Let's start with what this show ISN'T.

Despite it seeming like a superhero show, it is not. It is a comic book show and it definitely has a lot of comic-bookiness and weirdness, but it doesn't really belong in the super-hero genre (even Jen herself doesn't want to be a hero until near the end) and it definitely doesn't belong in the action genre that Marvel Studios is known for. And I like that it actively turns the superhero genre on its head at the end and subverts people's expectations of the Marvel formula.

It is also not a show with a big, twisty, overarching story or deep characters. That's not what She-Hulk ever was or what it was striving to be. Both in the comics and in the MCU, She-Hulk was a silly, completely episodic, slice-of-life sitcom/courtroom comedy that tries to showcase and embrace the absurdity, weirdness, vibrance, and flamboyance of comic books, but also make fun of the flaws, repetitiveness and general silliness of the medium through meta-commentary.

It was also a progressive comic book that contrasted the timid life that a female lawyer lives, being unnoticed by her male counterparts and society in general, and her suppressing those problems to appease to societal norms, with the exuberant and confident She-Hulk that empowered Jen Walters to be the person she wants to be.

And Jessica Gao along with the whole team of writers and the 2 directors, Kat Coiro and Anu Valia, truly understood that and did an absolutely amazing job of translating it to screen in the best way possible.

What makes the show stand out is Tatiana Maslany's irresistible charm and great comedic performance along with the funny, witty and meta writing which allows the show to fully embrace its absurd and weird setting as well as expand the MCU's lore and world-building through the POV of semi-regular MCU citizens as well as the eyes of the law, but also the unique, quirky supporting characters and cameos (Hulk, Pug, Nikki, Madisynn, Wong, Abomination and his crew and of course Daredevil) and their relationship with each other and with Jen.

On the other hand, Titania, despite being marketed as the main villain, felt like a nothing character. Especially in the wedding episode which was a weak episode in general. She was just a nuisance and it was frustrating that the show made her feel like a bigger deal than she was. Much of it though definitely came from the promotional. Jameela Jamil had second billing and was often called the primary antagonist of the series and there was a whole Titania marketing campaign with her getting her own Twitter account.

Most of the stories (apart from the wedding) were really interesting and, as I have said above, really expanded the world of the MCU and showed us another side of it that I personally have always wanted to see. The finale was the boldest, most inventive, most insane thing Marvel Studios has done and I don't think it can be topped. It was just the number 1 "WTF" moment by a mile!

Werewolf by Night (8.5/10):

A short, great piece of storytelling and action with its own unique style. Where this 54-minute film really excels is in its stellar production design. First-time director Michael Giacchino makes this project in a throwback to the classic '30s horror films that first put Universal on the map. And the film takes advantage of it. Everything from its black-and-white aesthetic to its clever use of lighting and camera angles makes it one of the best singular-produced projects Marvel has done in all of Phase Four so far. 

Werewolf By Night’s use of violence and horror also proves to be a standout. While not the most violent or bloody thing in the world, it’s definitely heavier than most of Marvel’s more family-friendly fare. And it bares its teeth (literally in this case) with a brutal final act that will leave unaccustomed viewers in shock. 

Lastly, the film takes full advantage of its two lead actors. Gael Garcia Bernal is brilliant as the titular character and once his ferocious transformation occurs he physically owns every scene. Laura Donnelly as Elsa Bloodstone also contributes a stellar performance in her limited screen time but she chews up the scenery. 

For all its greatness, and there is quite a bit, there is still one glaring problem that left me dissatisfied at the end of it. Clocking in at 54 minutes, it tells a lot of story for such a short period of time. It’s a blessing considering the previous 15 minutes shorts we used to get in the MCU, but I still wish with this level of a concept and high of production quality, we could have spent a little more time in this new corner of the Marvel Multiverse. And of course, as with every aspect of the MCU, this film does mostly stand out on its own without much, if any, connecting tissue. While that is a negative to some, I was glad we were able to focus on these characters instead of constantly trying to focus on where this short places in the wider universe. Ted is also one of the greatest new characters introduced in the MCU. Easily top 3 for me.

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (10/10):

Easily my most favorite MCU movie of all time. My definition of what I consider a "Perfect" movie. An outstanding movie from whatever aspect you look at it. Writing, directing, cinematography, music, costume design, production design, cast performances, story, plot, pacing, editing, and storytelling. It just felt like the Phase 4 project with the most love and passion poured into it. So much so that Ryan Coogler didn't let one aspect of the movie be "mediocre" and didn't let one moment of screen time go to waste. It felt genuine, serious, mature, deep and it succeeded in the monumental task of continuing the narrative of the Black Panther franchise without its lead character, while also giving its ensemble cast the time to shine and develop other corners of Wakanda.

What was particularly strong apart from Shuri's acting and character arc was the villain, Tenoch Huerta's Namor, and the worldbuilding of Talokan as well as the geopolitical worldbuilding of the film that sets up the future of the MCU. As a sucker for the geopolitical and sociopolitical aspects of the MCU, this was the movie that fully met my needs and expectations. And the last point I'll make here is that this movie made me cry 5 times when I first watched and three times on the rewatch. The amount of emotion poured into this movie and it's themes and trauma that black people experience daily and generationally means this film has a very special place in my heart. This movie taught me it's okay to be angry and in pain but also taught me *HOW* to heal and move on. For this reason and the others I listed above easily makes this the best MCU movie for me. Honorable mention also goes to Riri who was incredibly charismatic and energetic from her first shot. Some people may see Riri as unnecessary but these people fail to recognize how Riri serves as an allegory to black americans and the energy/personality we have. And on top of just being a very likable person, she's also a super-genius? Let's gooooo~ Can't wait for her show and separating her from Tony Stark was a genius idea for the MCU.

Guardians of the Galaxy: A Holiday Special (8.75/10):

Just pure, unfiltered fun with great music and finally a good character arc for Mantis who had been left to the side in the previous MCU installments. Nothing more else I have to say other than watching this will become a Holiday tradition for me, just like Hawkeye became last year. Actually no. I do have to say that I was originally planning on skipping this but I'm SO SO glad I didn't. All I'll say is this. "YOU'LL NEVER ESCAPE ME BACON!!!!"

I would also like to talk a little bit about the Phase 4 unnecessary overhating and the toxic nitpicking.

Partially, it is definitely caused by nostalgia clouding the flaws of the Infinity Saga and thus making the flaws of Phase 4 stand out more.Another part is also the desensitization to the genre and the formula and that is even more amplified by 2 bonus facts:

the audience that grew up with the MCU and felt that magic that it brought in their pre-teen/teen/young adult years has grown up now and that same magic will never be brought back.

The age you experience a stimulus plays a VERY important role about whether that becomes a positive or negative stimulus, not only because of the difference in your comprehensive capacity, but also because young brains experience things under a completely different light. What might seem magical, world-shattering and insane to a young brain might seem pretty neutral and dull by an adult mind.

2. Marvel Studios has oversaturated the market with superhero stuff and Disney's other company, Lucasfilm, is also oversaturating the sci-fi/fantasy/action/adventure megagenre that most blockbusters belong into as well. And because there's this notion that's been ingrained in MCU fans' brains that they NEED to watch everything Marvel Studios puts out otherwise they will be lost in the next installment, people have gotten tired of trying to catch up with the MCU and to some it may seem more like a chore or homework.

Back on the nostalgia bit, Phase 3 also imbued people with this emotion that comes with finality and with culmination. Marvel Studios offered its fans a drug that's called hype and build-up and during IW and EG, everybody got so high on it that people feel the need for an overarching threat and plot to be established right away and for every project to lead into the next event.

They can't wait for Marvel Studios to take a breath, rebuild and expand the universe, deal with the consequences of IW and EG and slowly set up all the new players, the new threats, the new corners, the new teams and the new rules that will be important in building up the next event properly.

That's why cameos and post-credits scenes and spoilers and connections have become so important now. Sometimes so much so that some fans forget to see the projects for what they are.

However Marvel Studios themselves are not completely hands-off on this turn-off for the MCU. They have made many flaws this Phase, many of them attributed to COVID changing the filming schedules and the release dates and thus the stories to some extent and how these are told, but also many of them attributed to Marvel Studios not choosing the right people for some projects or not giving them enough time to tell the stories they wanted to tell. And when there are many consecutive projects that didn't live up to their own potentials as stories, there's this sour aftertaste that's left in people's mouths. And of course, Bob Chapek being an absolutely AWFUL leader and restricting/overworking Feige.

On top of that, toxicity and negativity has gotten off the charts in the world the last couple of years, and especially on the internet of course. COVID created and gave light to many conspiracy nuts and made people angry at each other and I'm not even gonna mention how the political state of the world deteriorating every moment is contributing to that as well as to people's edginess. So these flaws and mistakes get more amplified on the internet now than they were before.

I also think the fans amplify them on purpose, because the lack of an overarching plot made them less and less interested in these projects, so the general lack of interest in the MCU made them see some of the projects with a more negative bias.

For example, Thor: The Dark World was a meh movie but it introduce the reality stone and the Collector, all stuff that people knew were gonna play a bigger role in the future and that made them see the movie under a different light because they were interested in the universe that it was part of and how it's going to affect it. That's also why the reception to AoU has changed over the years once more and more of its world-building and set-ups started paying off and proved really important.

But the MCU is different now. It's not following that same structure where each movie is a very important episode with all the episodes following the same story that leads to the finale. Before, the MCU felt like an Avengers TV show with 2-hour episodes. It legitimately felt very, very similar to Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes and I think Feige took a lot of inspiration from that show and still is considering The Kang Dynasty was literally the name of one of its episode.

Now, we've entered the era of the actual Marvel Cinematic UNIVERSE. A web of stories with an insane amount of characters doing very different things in their own little corners of the universe with some of these corners occasionally overalapping and interacting. That's the structure of storytelling that the comics followed from the 60s till the early 00s.

It was only after ca. 2005 that Marvel Comics started its obsession with events that brought literally the entire universe together every few months with all solo runs in-between acting as pre-ludes and interludes for these events. And that's what the MCU fans have come to know now, which makes this new structure of individual, self-contained, "filler" stories something odd and unnatural for MCU fans.

And of course, since all these "episodes" of the Infinity Saga TV show were part of the same story, they also felt much more cut of the same cloth. Similar tone and style, similar stories. And that tone and style was designed to appeal to the widest audience possible. The MCU has diversified its style, tone, types of stories and the target audiences for each of its projects are now very, very different.

Finally, there are some people who saw the MCU as "Cap and Tony". They were the much of the audiences' anchors in this universe and without them, it just feels like all these are side-stories. For these people, the MCU ended with Endgame. For these people, the MCU was a TV-show with 22 2-hour episodes and now everything post-Phase 3 is just spin-offs; post-game campaigns.

And they are the players who close the game once the main story is done.

All in all, it was a good, enjoyable, fun, but also heartbreaking and emotional 2 years and while nowhere near perfect, Phase 4 introduced some great characters, had some great stories and some great threads for Phase 5 and 6 to explore. Will definitely look back with fond memories and nostalgia when the Multiverse Saga eventually comes to a close and I beliebe some stories will become retroactively better.

Homare Arisugawa General HCS

request: “Hi Sora! I never see any art/writing for my boy Homare from A3! (Maybe because his dialogue is so ridiculous.) Would you mind writing something for him?” from tlali

a/n: ahhh i don’t think i’ve ever taken so long in a request jdjdndnd but i just wanted to make it right because i love homare so much❕ he deserves everything and more i just HDHSJJA we need more homare love 🤬 his dialogue is hilarious and i feel like we need to appreciate his style more no more homare slander 🙅

word count: 1667

- He smells like earl gray tea. No one knows why since he uses unscented soaps, he says it’s probably because he spends most of his time drinking or around tea.

- He’s very particular about his hair, he uses very specific shampoos and conditioners that he will absolutely not share or change unless he notices his hair needs it. Talking about his hair, it’s naturally kind of dry so he uses a lot of hydrating products which leaves him with the softest, most fluffy hair ever. It’s like touching a cloud.

- One of his favorite gifts given to him is a tie given to him as a birthday gift by his members. Everyone pitched it, including Izumi, and Azuma picked it out. It’s black, much like his everyday tie, but it’s got a small embroidered snowflake.

- He’s got three main pairs of glasses; his everyday ones he keeps at hand when he goes out, his at home ones which are (according to him) less flattering, and his driving ones. Keep in mind he can’t drive, he doesn’t even own a car.

- He can speak french and latin, and he’s super loud about it too. He’ll sometimes slip in french phrases and no one will understand other than Chikage and it’s just a mess - Muku is always so amazed that he knows two other languages too and probably asks him to teach him sometime.

- Definitely has the prettiest handwriting when it comes to the roman alphabet, he writes in ink and with fancy pens that cost more than Banri’s tuition.

- Absolutely has a bunch of business cards printed out, each with its own quote made by him. Sakyo thought it was such a waste printing them until he realized that no matter how many Homare took when he went to run errands he always gave them all, to whom? No one knows.

- He’s very well respected in the literary community, which still shocks pretty much everyone. He gets stopped often by fans or people who’ve read his work, it happens at least once a day and Izumi really doesn’t… she doesn’t understand, poor girl.

- He’s not that good with phone calls, he’s not bad but he definitely prefers texting or just talking face to face. To him there’s just a certain level of discontent he doesn’t like that doesn’t exist in other mediums.

- His favorite shows are either comedies or heavy hitting detective shows, there is no inbetween. You’ll walk in on him watching a sitcom leave the room and walk in on a serial killer chase down.

- About his love for detective shows, his favorite pastime is trying to solve the mysteries with the main character. He’ll rewatch the episode so many times to try and pick up clues, he’ll take notes and come to a conclusion and he loves the feeling of getting it right.

- In the same spirit as the statement above, absolutely got Tsumugi and Sakyo hooked on some of his favorites and they hang out to talk about the latest episodes and the overarching mystery. The conversations can tend to get kind of heavy very quick, more than once Muku thought they were investigating a real crime and almost fainted.

- He looks like he’s probably allergic to wool sweaters, they make his skin itch and he always needs to use a shirt underneath them - so he tends to buy those expensive anti-allergic ones that need to be washed in a very specific way that could probably pay Tsuzuru’s whole college debt and it takes a lot of restraint from the playwright not to steal one and sell in the black market.

- Talking about Tsuzuru, he often gives him writing advice. Said advice tends to be very useful, like keeping a pen and notebook on him in case anything comes to mind during the day or writing daily to help ease him into a style, etc. Homare genuinely wants him to bloom into a writer and is willing to beta-read anything Minagi needs, be it a script or a sleep deprived rambling about the gay subtext in Nocturnity.

- Arisugawa sets himself reading goals each month, he likes to read at least one book. He prefers poetry books or classic english literature, but he also likes to read romance books or really bizarre dystopian novels.

- Has read more books than most people in the company and can give very detailed recommendations if you give him like a day.

- Sings operas in the shower, unless stopped he will keep going until the second act. Surprisingly good falsetto, but one time Tenma thought it was a Banshee for a second and almost cried into Juza’s chest.

- He’s not only an overly emotional drunk but also a loud drunk, he’s already quite loud but when he’s downed half a bottle of wine and a shot of vodka he’s louder than the Summer Troupe combined. Because of this, Izumi tends to restrict his alcohol intake when they’re at the dorm.

- I can see him being very big into musicals, not all musicals but a very specific niche; classic horror novels turned into musicals. He’s a very big fan of both the German and Korean versions of Dracula, his favorite song is probably “Zu Ende” or the Korean version of “It’s Over”. He also likes the Frankenstein musical too, but overall he finds Junsu’s Dracula more interesting thus his preference.

- He will talk your ear off if you mention any musical though, be it a classic like Phantom or something newer like Heathers.

- A very big fan of Ghibli movies, he told me so himself today. He really likes Spirited Away though, it’s a movie he’s watched so many times but he’s still completely enamoured by it; he probably has made the Winter Troupe watch it at least once and Hisoka definitely knows the beginning of the movie by heart now.

- Homare is also really good at drawing, not like Kazunari but he’s probably the second best. He learned by analyzing and looking at artists he admired and picking up on their techniques. A true Renaissance Man™️.

- I feel like he’d also have a bunch of skills that are kind of, useless? He can probably carve wood and make candles, he also took a course in glass blowing probably. Arisugawa just wants to try everything at least once, his motto is probably to explore and learn as much as possible, not just about art but the world (he can be surprisingly smart if you have a dictionary at hand).

- Very observant, just in general. Which can be both good and bad, it’s good because it helps him understand the situation in ways others might not but it leads to him to sometimes overthinking things and behaving in manners which may annoy or hurt others.

- He also has a hard time trying to react to social cues, as seen in game, with certain people. While he’s worked it out with the Winter troupe and the Mankai company he still struggles when it comes to new people.

- Will make little tunes he sings in the shower that kind of become a little daily song, each day there’s a new one he’ll hum.

- He also canonly makes music and he makes contemporary electro-pop, you cannot change my mind. He probably also mixes opera and classical music into his tunes, which can go from 1 minute to 10, so you end up with a very cool mix of orchestra and techno-pop - it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but he’s probably got his own niche group.

- Now, into more romantic HCs...

- He’s a good flirt, a very good flirt. They may sound weird looking back at it, but his pickup lines work and they work well.

- He knows when to stop pursuing someone too. He senses even a bit of discomfort and he’s backing away, won’t ask anything. Very big on consent and unless stated absolutely explicitly he’ll keep his distance.

- A true gentleman, please - he’ll never let his dates pay, always open the doors for them, will even do the “walk on the inside of the sidewalk” when he’s walking you home.

- His favorite dates tend to be ones where you get to know more about each other, not always necessarily by talking though. Being able to go into a bookstore and look at the books, seeing the ones you pick, what you pick at a cafe or restaurant, it all helps him draw a better picture of who you are and he likes to think it helps you get to know him better too.

- He’s very in tune with his S/O’s feelings but is afraid of overstepping any boundaries which may lead to some miscommunication at the beginning of the relationship. But it’s workable and it wouldn’t be that big an issue in the long run as long as his partner is willing to help him understand them.

- Not big on PDA, thinks certain things should remain inside - not to say he wouldn’t talk for hours about his partner to anyone who listens but things like kissing or hugs tend to be behind closed doors. He’s okay with hand holding and maybe a kiss on the cheek though!

- Likes wearing matching outfits with his S/O, thinks it shows how they’re “one in spirit, heart, and mind” and will not stop pointing it out to the point even married couples feel single as they hear him ramble on about the subtle coordination in your color schemes to create a perfect contrast.

- Notices the smallest things like how much sugar you like in your drinks, the telltale signs of when you’re lying or uncomfortable, how you act when you’re too cold or too hot, and learns it by heart.

- Homare is also the kind of boyfriend who’d confront the waiter if they get your order wrong, he’s not ashamed of it either.

- He kind of just wants to make sure you’re doing well and happy, he’s a gentleman.

- Damn… I love him so much

One of my friends LOVES the American version!! It's one of her favorite shows!! I'm currently doing research for my thesis I won't have it written until the end of the school year in May but I've researched the show before for smaller essays.

ATLA is one of my favorites because it's so well thought out and the world building is just AMAZING!!! Plus I have good memories of watching it with my dad 😊😊 New Girl I just found super funny and it's one of the only sitcoms that I've REALLY enjoyed. The kdramas just have such good actors in them and the stories are so interesting and well done!!! It's Okay that's love deals with mental health and how it impacts relationships while still building up a beautiful romance!!!!! Signal has some time travel elements in it and is based on a true serial killer case in Korea!! I like mystery and its a perfect thriller!! Goblin sits at the same table as DAYS!! The fantasy romance is just TOP NOTCH!!!!!

ANOTHER SOO HYUK FAN 😲😲😲 I remember being interested in him when I first started watching dramas (which was almost 10 years ago aaaaaa) but watching him in DAYS had me flipping out and now all I watch are his dramas!!! He was on a variety show last year and he's so happy in it 🥺🥺 I'm way too obsessed I could go on all day. I'm currently watching scholar who walks the night and it's the last show on viki that I have to watch. Then I'll have to find his stuff elsewhere but I'll find it. I know viki has pipeline for rent!!! But I'm not sure if that's only in the US or if it's available elsewhere. I do know it's only English subtitles. I watched it as soon as it was available HE LOOKS SO GOOD IN IT!!! I'm on my 3rd evil soo hyuk role in a row hehe oh gosh I've written so much about soo hyuk

I did not see them film it!!! I'm pretty sure they filmed it over the summer when there weren't many students around!! - 💛

All I do anymore is think about Lee Soo Hyuk 😔😔 your carat anon is turning into soo hyuk anon so sorry - 💛

~

i totally see why!! despite all the medical jargon that i don't understand, the show is really good!! it's interesting, it's funny and it's also really cool to learn about the medical industry. my only issue is that i've watched like 9 episodes so far and like every single ep has a patient with cancer???

i love the way you talk about your interests it's so wholesome to see you get excited 🥺🥺 really warms my heart!! Signal sounds interesting! i do love a good time travel story <3

PLEASE DO GO ON ALL DAY!! i love hearing about soo hyuk <3 what dramas would you recommend? i started watching High School King of Savvy and frankly the first 2 eps were so slow i found them boring but... soo hyuk handsome... must pull... through....

VIKI!! i've never heard of it ashjahs hopefully i can find a subbed version because i wanna watch it so badlyyyy >< soo hyuk looks so good but seo in guk tho... i'm a sucker for long hair on dudes 👀

ooh no wonder!! but still that's so cool :D

i now dub thee carat soo hyuk anon <3 BUT OMG have you seen svt's Anyone performance on... m countdown? the one with the white fits!! DK reminded me of soo hyuk so much i was going insane

STOP WATCHING THE OFFICE:   other things to watch this summer

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE ZIE OFFICE!! But as much as it pains me to say, the office isn’t a personality trait, so I’ve decided to make a list (e.g. Buzzfeed lists) of my top 16 recommendations for TV and podcasts to watch and listen to—since we all need to stop being basic bitches and FOCUS! 

I hope you listen to me when I say these shows are amazing and actually watch them if you have the time. I'm doing this because I care about you and your TV preferences.

I'll break it up by streaming service, starting with Netflix then Hulu, YouTube, then Podcasts last.

*I apologize in advance for the lousy grammar and lack of editing, but also not really sorry bout it.

-----------------------------------------

On NETFLIX:

1. Arrested Development

Number of Seasons: 5

Number of Episodes: 91

Hours to Binge: 35

Okay, number one on my list is Arrested development. A lot of people I talk to, especially in my age range, don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about, but this show is GENIUS... on G*D. I’ve watched it around four times now, and each time it gets better and better. I read somewhere that it was created as a satire of Bush-era incompetence and idiotic hanky-panky during the Iraq war. But at its heart, the show’s about a rich family with four adult children—who are all goofy and quirky. Their dad get’s thrown in jail for doing business with terrorists or something like that and Micheal Bluth (Jason Bateman) has to get them out of weird ass situations.

Above is one of my favorite scenes  (Best clip I could find on youtube!!).

This show has a LOT of jokes and long running bits that you kind of have to pay attention to to get the storyline. It’s hella META, and at times, can be really weird (see George Micheal Bluth and Maeby Fünke’s little Les Cousins Dangereux). In conclusion, however, Jason Bateman is hot, Micheal Cera is hot, and Tony Hale is ~super~ hot.

P.S. a lot of memes come from this show that you would know but don’t know that it’s from this show.

2. The Haunting of Hill House

Number of Seasons: 1

Number of Episodes: 10

Hours to binge: 9

Scary as f*ck! Do not watch yourself or u will die. I warned you.

I'm not going to spoil it too much, but it's about a family living in a spooky house and crazy ass shit keeps happening to them. They eventually move out, but even 20 years after--when the kids are all adults--the haunting of the house follows them.

There's even a 17 min scene that they shot in one shot!!!!!!!! That's wiLD.

3. Schitt's Creek

Number of Seasons: 5

Number of Episodes: 66

Hours to binge: 25

Yet another show about a rich family loosing all their money. A bit different than Arrested Development. This show is about a rich ass family loosing all their money and resorting to live in Schitt's Creek--a town in Nowhere, U.S.A. the family bought as a JOKE. It's a really easy watch. The characters in this show are SO un-relatable and mean it's hilarious--only if u f*ck wit dry humor tho.

Here's my favorite character, Alexis Rose just being iconic:

Give it a try, the first few episodes are rocky, but it gets better. That's a guarantee.

4. American Vandal

Number of Seasons: 2

Number of Episodes: 16

Hours to binge: 9

A lot of people already probs watch this show, but it's honestly so beautifully written. The show is an homage to Making a Murderer, a true crime mockumentary of sorts. It follows two guys, Sam and Peter as they try to figure out a mystery: WHO DREW D*CKS ON THE TEACHER'S CARS?

Also, JIMMY TATRO!!!!!

Season 2 follows a different crime and it's... it's poopy.

5. Mindhunter

Number of Seasons: 1

Number of Episodes: 10

Hours to binge: 9

YUH. Just started this, already on ep. 8, very interesting. Mindhunter is about the first FBI agents to use profiling to catch serial killers. THE CHARACTERS IN THIS SHOW WALKED SO THAT HOTCH AND REID COULD RUN.

This show is no joke and based on true serial killers like the coed killer, the shoe fetish killer, and BTK, it's very.... very creepy.

ALWAYS carry pepper spray on ya, that's fer sher.

6. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

pinot noir, caviar

7. John Mulaney: The Comeback Kid

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

8. The Good Place

is it really the good place?

---------------------------------------------

On Hulu:

9. Broad City

Number of Seasons: 5

Number of Episodes: 50

Hours to binge: 18

One of the greatest television series of all time about two baller best fraaands who get into the schemes of the century in New York City. Illana, a ferocious kween wit ZERO f*cks, and Abbi, an aspiring artiste with a great ass. The two work min-wage jobs in NYC (so they're broke) and they're just trying to find luv and a good bacon egg and cheese.

Think Sex and the City but fresh and new and wild. Abbi and Ilana's dialogue and schemes are relatable af, it makes it seem like you're there with them. Their co-dependency is so powerful... yet at moments, a lil destructive. I once had a friendship like this.. and let me tell you... co-dependency is a wild ride.

Some of the funniest scenes in this show is just of them talking on the street. Sometimes, when I'm walking with my friends, I pretend like I'm in the show lol.

I recommend you start from beginning to end because of the endless callbacks and running gags, but if not start with season 3, episode 7 B&B-NYC. Blake Griffin is in it.

10. Community

Number of Seasons: 6

Number of Episodes: 110

Hours to binge: 41

What can I say about this show to make you watch it? Well first of all the fact that Childish Gambino (Donald Glover) is in it should already have you clicking over to Hulu by now.

Community is about seven quirky misfits: a disbarred lawyer, a failed housewife, an activist everyone hates, a racist old man, a stupid jock who lost his sports scholarship, a high-strung know-it-all who took too much adderall, and abed. They all end up at Greendale Community College with a phsyco spanish teacher and a colorful dean. 

This show is kind of a parody of a sitcom, and it is VERY meta--often referring to themselves as TV show characters. The seven get into hilarious adventures and obstacles along the way. The show also genre hops from time to time. For example, they have a whole pillow fort vs. blanket fort episode (Pillows and Blankets, season 3, episode 4) in a Ken Burns documentary style, an episode in claymation for Christmas (Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas, season 2, episode 11), and a bunch of paintball episodes in style of Quentin Tarantino and StarWars.

Again, you should start at the beginning, but if you want to get into it quickly, I really loved Pillows and Blankets (season 3, episode 4).

11. The Mindy Project

As a "petite asian woman" who is not petite, this show is very relatable. About finding love and eating good in the big apple.  

P.S. If you don't like Kelly from the office, you're dead 2 m3.

12. Brooklyn 99

Cool. coolcoolcoolcool. Jake Peralta is the greatest detective/genius.

13. Superstore

If Walmart and the office had a baby and it was incompetent.

---------------------------------------------

On YouTube and Facebook Watch:

14. The Real Bros of Simi Valley

Number of Seasons: 2

Number of Episodes: 14

Hours to binge: 4

You straight up know these guys, fool. Four stoner/burn-outs who think your hometown's Mexican food is the best in the world. Amazingly written and surprisingly good acting. Lightweight lowkey thought they were speaking another language at first.

Jimmy Tatro, Cody Ko, Getter, and Nick Colletti. What more do you want? LITERALLY WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

The unnecessary drama and endless quotable jokes in this show leads you wanting more with only 14 episodes totaling at around four hours.

Watch the first season YouTube here:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybcPQVipNAw

---------------------------------------------

Podcasts:

15. Tiny Meat Gang

Aha hah bro last night was a movie bro ON GOD.

Noel Miller and Cody Ko talk about literally anything, but goofy. I can listen to them talk for straight up hours.

I usually listen on Apple Podcasts, but you can also watch on YouTube:

https://youtu.be/ZCMs4FrC_c0

Just start listening, bro.

16. My Favorite Murder

No shade to Codel, but My Favorite Murder is my all time favorite podcast. Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark  are two hilarious women who love murder. Not murdering, but the psychology of murderers and survivors. Each Thursdays each of them tell a story about a murder. They don't make fun of murders, but it's their banter that makes it fun to listen to.

If you're a fan of true crime at all, please listen so I have more people to talk about it with. shouts outs Jenna for putting me on to the show!

Here are my favorite episodes!

*tip: skip the first 15-20 min to the first murder when first listening.

150: How Dare You Kill Kelli

The Hanging of Alice Riley and The Murder of Reyena Marroquin

131: The Uninhibited

The Murder of Standford White and The Case of the Boys on the Tracks

It's Tendou and his s/o's first Christmas that they're going to spend together at his parent's place and Tendou is super nervous because his whole family is just straight up fucking WILD and he's more afraid that his s/o won't like his family more than he's afraid that his family won't like his s/o, because who's he kidding, she's an absolute gem. Just a cute little scenario for the holidays :) I'm so glad you're back my patron saint

Hi my alias is Bee and after being gone for nearly half a year I’m back and swinging with a 5,000 word Tendou fic yes’m (Also there are a bunch of family head-canons in here for example- Tendou has two sisters and one of them is gay because why not right it’s 2017)

Also Merry Christmas Eve to all you nerds who celebrate it!

Satori stood at his bathroom vanity with his head in his hands. The sink had been running for a while now, unused, because he was far too lost in thought to even realize it was still running. His hair gel was open on the counter, and his toothbrush sat prepared right next to it. He had to get ready, he knew he did, but he was unable to do anything besides stare at himself in the mirror, his vision blurry and skewed from not blinking since he had spaced out.

He must’ve been standing there for a while, minutes, even. The background noise that the running water provided threw him further off loop, and it wasn’t until the bathroom door opened and slammed into his back did he realize that __ had been knocking. When the door knob collided with his spine, he yelped, his hands flying from his hair to the vanity in front of him. It took him a moment to process what had happened before he could compose himself. In the mirror he saw his girlfriend’s face, pale and terrified, but washing over with relief when he made eye contact with her through it and smiled sheepishly.

“Satori, I was knocking forever.” She sighed, stumbling into the bathroom and hugging him from behind. “You worry me sometimes, you idiot.”

“I know, I know.” He had somehow managed to push out a fictitious laugh, and stood up straight. Now that Satori could finally look at himself properly, he noticed that his eye bags were a lot darker than usual.

“That was a really fake laugh, hun. Are you sure you’re okay? If you’re tired or anything I have no problem just pulling up a map to your parents place and driving, if that’s what you’d like.” Hearing the mentioning of his parents place made Satori’s heart stop all over again. That’s what had started his panicking in the first place– The Holidays.

It had been established for months that this was going to be the first Christmas that Satori and __ were going to spend together. In years past they had either parted their ways to visit their respective families, or had just spent it together in the comforts of their own apartment. Although, this year, __ had insisted that they visit Satori’s family. He had met hers before, on countless occasions, actually, but she had never gotten an opportunity to meet his. It wasn’t that Satori had any problem with his family meeting __, she was incredible, he knew without a doubt that they would love her. It was quite the opposite, really. It was a miracle that she put up with him on a day to day basis, but there was no way that she could ever tolerate the likes of his family.

Satori placed his hands on  __’s and gently pushed them away. She shuffled up next to him and sighed, taking his face in her hands instead.

“You look worried.”

“I am worried.”

“Oh?” She smiled, kissing him gently on his lower lip. “Am I really that terrible? Is your family gonna hate me or something?”

“Yeah, absolutely filthy. I can picture their disgust as we speak.” He joked, rolling his eyes and kissing her back. She let out an amused huff.

“Really, Satori, tell me whats wrong. You know you can’t keep shit from me.”

“Unfortunately.” He released himself from her again and grabbed the gel off the counter. He figured if he was just going to stand around, he might as well get ready. There was no escaping this situation, now.

“__, if I’m being honest with you, my family’s a mess.” He sighed, running his gelled hands through his hair. “If we had a sitcom, it would be called, “Terminate The Tendous” ‘cause we need to be stopped.”

“Please.” She hummed, “I doubt you lot are that bad. You’ve met my family before, there’s no way you can get worse than that.”

“Please, you.” Satori finished gelling back his hair and ran his hands under the water, scooting past __ to dry them. “Compared to mine, they’re nothing.”

“Care to tell me what’s so bad about your family? Are they like, serial killer bad or, Aunt Mina has a pinterest addiction bad?” She asked, moving out of Satori’s way as he positioned himself in front of the mirror again.

“Both, but not really both at the same time?” Satori shrugged. “Ah, listen, I’ve dreaded the day that I’d have to tell you this, but I think it’s about time that I’ve told you about them.” He said, in the most pretentious storytelling voice he could muster. She laughed at this, smiling up at him through the mirror.

“Dude, finally. What have we been dating for, five years now? We have our own house plants together but I don’t even know your mom.”

“House plants don’t talk back.” He muttered, barley loud enough for her to hear.

Satori took his time brushing his teeth, __ sitting on the covered toilet seat waiting for him to finish. She looked adorable, he thought. She was wearing a dark green velvet dress that flattered her eyes, her hair in soft curls around her shoulders, bangs being held back with a black hair bow. She was the image of pureness that his family devoured.

“So, I have two sisters, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, the oldest follows me on Instagram, I think.”

“Gre-eat. That would be Hana. She’s five years older than us, and three years older than my other sister, so she’s pretty much always thought she was the absolute shit.” Tendou sighed, trying to talk and adjust his dark green tie, to compliment __’s dress, at the same time. “That, and she happens to be the tallest in the family.”

“Taller than you?” __ gaped, looking up at him from the toilet seat. “How? And why? Can a sister lend me some?” Tendou smiled at this, although it was bitter.

“Never tell her that, please. She’s 6’5, and if you’ve ever seen any of her pictures, she looks pretty normal, but that’s only ‘cause she’s standing next to her husband, who’s 6’11. By the time I was in first grade, she was in fifth, and we barely crossed paths unless she was outside for lunch, and I was at the playground, or something. She had reached 5’2 by then and since I was me, a disgusting little mushroom boy–”

“You were not a disgusting little mushroom boy.” __ interrupted.

“I was a disgusting little mushroom boy. Anyway, she would always scope the playground to see if kids were bullying me and would throw them into the wood chips if they were. You would think people would stop messing with me since I had fucking Goliath following me around, but nah, being protected by my older sister made me even more susceptible to bullying, I guess. But yeah, to this day she still thinks she’s my actual Lord and Savior, so expect for her to examine you until your ears bleed, I’m sorry.”

“She sounds awesome, hun. I think her and I are gonna get along just fine.” She laughed, and Satori grimaced.

“Ye-eah, I’m sure you will.”

“What about your other sister? Is she as bad too?” __ added, sarcastically.

“Worse.”

“Worse? Oh no, don’t tell me, she works at an animal shelter, right? Donates to the church? Helps starving children in third world countries?”

“Harhar, very funny.”

“Thanks!”

“My sister, Aya, is her name, was a wrestler in high school. She went to a different high school than me and Hana, at birth she had somehow dodged the Tendou family gene of creepy ass eyes and permanent scrawniness, so I think she kept her distance from us ‘cause she didn’t want to be known as related to us, y’know.”

“I doubt it, Satori. And could you stop being self deprecating?”

“Never. But, she was, and still is, this really pretty girl, y’know, always looks really well put together, but the moment she opens her mouth– it’s hard to tell the difference between her and some fifty year old guy at a bar on Friday night.”

“Quite the analogy.” __ added.

“I’m not joking. She’s horrible. You think I don’t have a filter?  She’s been kicked out of public places more times than I can count on my two hands. She was always a gem though. Despite being kind’ve an ass and pretty immature until her twenty first birthday, she knew how to beat people up, and got like, a million trophies for it, so my parents never really said anything about it.”

“Y’know, Satori, you’re making me think one of your sisters is gonna have me in a choke-hold while the other asks me for my social security number.” __ laughed, finally standing up and helping Satori fix his tie. He hadn’t even noticed that he completely unknotted the thing.

“I won’t be surprised. I’m so nervous, __, I’m so sorry. Is it too late to cancel and just go visit your parents instead?”

“Yes, its too late! We already promised that we’d spend the holidays with your parents, and spring break with mine. Besides, they live six hours away from here, we’re not prepared for that.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry-y.”

“Stop saying you’re sorry! I have a thick skin, you know! I’m not gonna die. Watch–”

Satori had zoned out from what __ had said next. He watched her as she fixed his tie, glancing up at him every so often and smiling wider. He felt his heart squeeze again. He hated to be overdramatic, he really did, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was throwing his beautiful, little beacon of light into a gladiator stadium, and his sisters were just the opening act.

“Satori, are you really that embarrassed of your family? If they’re anything like you, I’m sure they’re incredible.” __’s words snapped him out of his daze again. He shook his head, and kissed her forehead after she tightened his tie up.

“Honestly, I’m kinda being dramatic.” He shrugged, pushing __ out of the tight enclosure of the bathroom and proceeding to follow her out. “But they don’t know when to stop. I’m sure you’ll find Aya hysterical, her and her girlfriend both– but I know she’s gonna ask you all those weird-ass questions like-”

“Are you a virgin?”

“Exactly.”

“Please, I’ve been preparing myself for these questions since we first started dating.” __ scoffed, slipping on ballet flats over stocking clad feet at the doorstep. Satori sighed, leaning against the frame of the door. He watched her pick up the two carry-on bags, to which Satori hurriedly grabbed from her. She smiled up at him wordlessly for a moment, then shook her head.

“I’m gonna be fine, Satori. Oh! And I’m driving. I don’t want your nervous ass to crash before I ever get to meet your gem of a family.”

She threw a heavy pea-coat over her shoulders before shuffling out of the door, Satori close to follow. As she started the car up, he tossed the luggage into the trunk, then filing into the passenger seat. She already had the music going, one hand on the steering wheel with the other creeping towards his thigh. She winked at him, and for the first time today, he genuinely laughed. __ smiled, for that was her plan all along, and gave his thigh a squeeze.

“I can’t believe we’re going to meet your family and you’re the nervous one.”

“Okay, okay, I’m not as nervous anymore.” Satori interrupted, placing his hand over __’s. “Ju-ust slightly perturbed. How about that?”

“Better, I guess. You still have two hours to worry your little heart out.”

Tendou sighed, fluttering his eyes shut and leaning back on the car seat. A song he didn’t know the name of droned in the background, just loud enough for him to hear, but not loud enough for him to focus on. To keep himself awake, he drew lazy circles into the palm of __’s hand, to which he heard her giggle about. He could feel his pulse in his neck, despite still being two blocks away from his own apartment. He had a feeling that this week was going to be a long one.

Satori promised himself that he would stay awake, but somehow he dozed off. __ said he was out cold twenty minutes after they left, which wasn’t odd, she said, many people crash due to stress. Satori had a hard time believing that, though. If anything, he expected himself to be puking out the window once they hit the highway. They were ten minutes away from his parents, now, and Satori was fixing his hair in the small overhead mirror of __’s car.

“Sorry I wasn’t awake to bother you.” He said, out of the blue. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw __ shake her head.

“It’s fine, it gave me time to lip-sync along to the Arctic Monkeys without being made fun of.”

Satori would’ve responded to her comment much faster, if it weren’t for the fact that __ was taking the exit straight towards the small town he grew up in. A nervous, agitated groan left him the moment she started down the road that lead towards his neighborhood.

“Does being here regurgitate bad childhood memories or something? Or do you really just hate your family?”

“Both.”

“You’re gonna have to take me to Shiratorizawa while we’re here, or at least drive me by the campus. That and like, Wakatoshi’s old house. Maybe even Tooru’s, too.”

“Oh, it’s that a little creepy, __ dearest?”

“No! I’m just saying, I’ve never been around here before, I wanna know how you and all our friends grew up, that’s all.”

“It’s literally nothing special, it’s farm, more farm, small convenience store, high school, farm, farm, bigger high school, convenience store. It’s like this for about ten miles.” __ laughed. She grew up further up the coast, and when they first met, she told him that she had “never seen a pig in person.” Satori made note to take her to see one of those while they were out here, too.

Ten minutes had passed quicker than Satori preferred. Before he knew it, they were pulling into his neighborhood, and with each turn __ took, the more and more anxious he got. He didn’t mind vocalizing his anxiety, either, sighing melodramatically each time the GPS blurted out another demand.

“Y’know Satori, this would be a lot easier if you could just tell me which way to turn to get to your house.” She added, lowering the volume without even looking at her device.

“I know, but I don’t wanna.”

“Whelp, seems like you don’t have to anymore.” She laughed, stopping almost abruptly and taking a sharp turn into a driveway, his driveway. He whined, sinking lower into his seat and covering his face with his hands.

“__, please don’t do this to me, my beautiful little angel baby, you’ll get torn apart in there.”

__ said nothing in reply, kicking her car door open and kissing Satori on his forehead, the softness of her lip balm leaving an imprint.

“C’mon, ya big baby. I’m sure your parents are waiting.”

Satori nodded, unbuckling himself and hesitantly exiting the car.  __ was waiting for him, so he took her hand in his own, and walked her up the pavement towards his doorstep.

Before either one of them could even reach the door, however, it had already been slammed open, incoherent, excitable female voices ripping through the house. A brunette woman popped her head out and gasped, then all but screamed as she darted out the door into the snow in sock clad feet and straight for __. __ almost yelped as she was suddenly picked up by the woman, who was taller than her by a foot, at least. She couldn’t quite tell what the woman was rambling on about, but out of the corner of her eye she saw Satori blushing profusely into the palm of his hand, shaking his head and waiting for whoever this woman may be to put her down. All __ could do in that moment was hug the woman back, despite not even knowing her. She had to be one of Satori’s sisters, or at least she assumed so. At first glance, __ saw that she was a tall woman, not as tall as Satori, but she was up there. She had tumbling brown hair that fell down towards her waist, and when __ placed her hands on the woman’s back, she realized she had quite the muscular build. She figured it had to be Aya, she fit Satori’s description quite well.

When she was finally set down by the woman, __ noticed her eyes. Like Satori said, they weren’t as wide, or tired as his, they were almond shaped and beautiful. They were light green and complemented the freckles on her cheeks.

“Oh my god, you’re so adorable.” Aya was beaming, her hands traveling from __’s back to her shoulders, then eagerly grasped __’s hands. “I’m Aya, Satori’s older sister, it’s so nice to meet you, sweetheart.”

__ giggled and shot a glance up at Satori, who was shifting his weight from leg to leg awkwardly in the corner. It shocked him to see her smile, genuinely, and not out of sheer nerves.

“I’m __, it’s really nice to get to meet you after all this time, Aya.”

“Oh, this little idiots been talking about you for years.” Aya rasped, shuffling over the snow to pull her brother into a choke-hold momentarily. “You wouldn’t believe the things that came out of this kid’s mouth before y’all were even dating.” She laughed, ruffling with Satori’s hair before pushing him away, then pulled __ into another hug. She heard Satori sigh, then mutter something about getting the bags from the trunk. Aya paid no mind to it, and lead __ into the house, never losing her grip on the former’s hand.

The moment __ stepped foot into Satori’s house, she couldn’t help but smile. It was very his taste, she thought, from the murals of mountains of the walls to the several misplaced christmas lights hanging across the staircase, it wouldn’t be very hard for her to classify this place as ‘Tendou’.

Aya had lead her into the kitchen, next, exclaiming at the top of her lungs to, “Look at Satori’s girlfriend!” __ felt her cheeks warm up slightly, the exposure not necessarily agitating her, but definitely embarrassing her. A woman with short brown hair examined her next. She had the same, sleepy ruddy eyes as Satori had. __ noticed her eyebrow quirking upwards in the same way Satori’s did when he was examining something, and she found it hard not to call it cute. __ also noticed that nobody else in the house was red-headed like Tendou was. The middle aged man and woman standing by the stove, presumably Satori’s parents, we’re both brunettes, as well as both the sisters, despite who __ thought was Hana, whose hair was a bit lighter than the rest. Despite that one key factor, they all definitely had a familiar resemblance. __ couldn’t help but smile.

“Hi, uhm, I’m sorry. Satori’s still outside ‘cause I was kinda mauled.” __ stammered, and Aya laughed, her free hand slapping her on the back. “I’m __, it’s really nice to get to meet you guys, finally.”

Everybody had gotten up on their feet, and came over to the place where __ stood. Satori had come back with the luggage, and shuffled over to __’s side. He protectively nudged Aya out of the way and replaced her hand with his own. __ looked up at him for a moment, a smile toying on her face.

“They’re great.” She mouthed, before his mother pulled her into a hug.

Satori watched as his mother started talking her ear off, and he started blushing again. He knew tonight was going to be too long– full of repressed memories and everyone taking a stab at him to see how embarrassed he could get, and how fast.

Meanwhile __ found herself being crushed in another grasp, and wondered how everyone in this family had such strong forearms.

“Satori’s so in love with you…” His mother muttered into her ear, and for some reason, despite knowing this for years, __ felt herself get fuzzy. She merely hummed, not knowing how to reply.

“You really make him so happy… when he talks about you I swear I’ve never seen him happier, except for maybe volleyball in highschool, but that’s a different story.”

__ laughed, breaking the hug with his mother and giving him a look. He was talking with Hana, now, who really was as tall as Tendou said she was. Although, she noticed he kept sending her nervous glances every so often, as if monitoring the conversation she was having.

“It really is a pleasure to finally get to meet you, Mrs. Tendou. I really wanted to meet you before, but Satori was more nervous about me meeting you lot than I actually was.”

“Oh of course he was, that little stinker.” His mother shook her head and smiled fondly, first at __, then at Satori. “And please, don’t call me Mrs. Tendou, call me Mom.”

Satori was deep in conversation with Hana, at this point. She was asking him how school was going, how paying rent was going, and everything in between about being an adult. She hadn’t asked any questions about __, yet, but he supposed she was saving those for later. There was a moment of brief pause in their conversation, and that’s when Satori heard it, the mom comment. Suddenly his heart stopped, and Hana must’ve picked it up too, because she laughed under her breath and nudged him in the ribs.

“Oh… my go-od…” Satori muttered, slinking up to __’s slide and throwing an arm over her shoulder.

“Hi Mama.” Satori butted in, throwing his other arm around his mom and kissing her chastely on the cheek.

“Hi honey! I was just talking to your angel of a girlfriend over here.”

“I know.” He muttered through clenched teeth. She shot him a knowing, motherly look, then patted him on the back.

“We’re having dinner in ten minutes, why don’t you two go throw your things up in Satori’s old bedroom? Just so it’s out of the way for later.” His mother suggested.

“On it.” Satori nodded at __ to follow him towards the front door and the stairs, but he noticed that Hana had stretched a leg out to block the hall.

“Need any help?” She said, just sarcastically enough for it to pass as a nice gesture. “Y’know, at least one of you looks like you’d need help.”

Satori knew exactly what Hana was going at, and he hated it. He shot her a look, then glanced over at __, who had picked up on her all but selfless gesture as well. Instead of shooting a witty response back or defending herself like she always had with Satori, he was surprised to watch her cover her mouth, then laugh. This must’ve caught Hana off guard, too, because she stood up straight in the doorway and silently went to pick up a bag from the mudroom.

“That wasn’t all that funny.” He said, nudging __ in the hip once Hana was up the stairs.

“I know, it wasn’t, but that’s such a you thing to say?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I dunno. You. Your sense of humor, your way of speaking. I absolutely love it.”

The ten minutes had come and gone. The bags were placed in Satori’s old bedroom– not without being relentlessly teased about the anime posters hanging above his bed, though. Hana thought it would be funny to show __ just how many figures he had stock piled in his closet, to which __ didn’t really mind. Hana was doing it to tease her, really. Asking her questions about the weird habits Satori has, and how she deals with it. Poking fun at his appearance just to see what __ would do. (In that point in time, she just dismissed all the nerdy things she teased him about and shook her head obviously when Hana mocked his appearance.) It really amused Satori, how Hana could be so protective about him when it came to other people teasing him, but absolutely ruthless when it came to her teasing him herself.

Sitting at the dinner table, Satori found it harder to eat than usual. __ was doing just fine, though. She was having an offhand conversation with Aya in between bites of a roll, covering her mouth with her hand politely as she spoke. If it weren’t for the drastic physical differences between __ and the rest of his family, a stranger would’ve thought that this was __’s family, and Satori was the awkward boyfriend.

The rest of the conversations at the table fell quiet, everybody focused on their own thing to actually slip a conversation through. Well, that’s what Satori had thought, until Aya cleared her throat and, slowly but surely shouted, “Satori? When are you gonna pop the question already?”

Satori stiffened in his seat. If he didn’t have an appetite before, he definitely didn’t have one now. He noticed __ tense up too, covering her mouth with her hand and averting her eyes from the table to her lap. Yes, this was what he had been afraid of.

Aya’s girlfriend hit her on the arm. “You can’t just ask that at the dinner table!” She hissed, only for Aya to shrug

“I do what I want. The kids a keeper. I mean, just look at her.

__ didn’t look so great in the moment, though. Her eyes were blown wide, darting everywhere besides the faces of his family members.

“Aw, she doesn’t look too great.” Hana chuckled. “Does that mean that she doesn’t want to get married?”

Satori didn’t know whether to tell off Aya, Hana, or get his mom involved. He would’ve gone with his mother, but she looked amused, almost as if she was going to throw in a comment of her own. His dad couldn’t care less– this was the type of situation he’d call, “Lady Talk.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to get married to Satori.” __ added, uncovering her mouth. “It’s just that you guys rea-ally have a knack for saying embarrassing things at embarrassing times. Jeez!”

“You sure that’s all?” Hana teased.

“Yes, that’s all. I get that you guys are all real protective of him, with his past and him being the youngest and everything, but I can assure you that I’d never do anything to purposefully hurt him.” __ shrugged, leaning over in her seat to peck Satori on the cheek. “And for the record, we happen to get along ‘cause I’m a nerd too, so your plan to embarrass him kinda failed. There isn’t much that we haven’t shared with each other… ah… I hope that answers some of your other questions, too.” She winked at Hana, who’s smirk had faded into a dumbfound frown.

It was Satori’s turn to flush red now, he couldn’t bring himself to look over at his girlfriend, and only focused of Hana’s face. He was expecting another insult, or possibly a curse, but all she did was hold her hand up slowly, and high-fived __ from across the table.

“Atta girl, that’s what I like to hear.” Hana shouted, slapping __’s hand just a little too hard for both __’s and Satori’s liking.

“Great, great. I mean no disrespect or anything towards you, by the way. I really respect that are aren’t careless about your brother decisions.”

“Really? Thank you! Aya’s right, pop the question!” Hana shot a glance at Satori, who had buried his head in his hands at this point. Satori should’ve known all along that he shouldn’t be worried about his family embarrassing __. He should’ve known that the tables would’ve turned right back on him.

Things They Didn't Tell Us at My Fancy High School

I'll admit it, I was blessed to go to one of those super-posh, elite boys' schools where someone with gray hair stands up in chapel and says "Gentlemen, someday you will rule the world." Or something like that. I couldn't entirely hear him over my handheld electronic football game. And mumbled recitations of the Shema. But some people clearly took it seriously. Just in my time there, we had the guy who runs ABC, the Mayor of Los Angeles, the creator of Mad Men. We only had 129 boys in our graduating class and one has already had a studio movie made about his life story. And he wasn't even a serial killer. Did I mention, I went to school in Los Angeles not Central Florida? Though in Central Florida's defense, there was one movie about a murderer from my school. But it starred Judd Nelson, so all in all, we've had a pretty decent homicidal maniac-free run. Our class slogan was "Greatness!' Yes, we had a class slogan. I always thought it should be "Where Smart Boys Go to Feel Stupid." But I can also see where theirs is slightly more aspirational. That said, even I left there with the wholly unearned cockiness of youth, convinced that the adult world would naturally bow before us. The following are some observations of what my adulthood to this point has actually been like. It's the things they didn't teach us (and we may never have left high school if they had.) You will fail at life. Often. Often spectacularly. Sometimes even in Deadline Hollywood with a photo so unflattering you'd think the story was about exotic chin-removing techniques. You will work hard, try your best, and sometimes still get fired. Occasionally, by friends. Sometimes for not having been on Friends. But you will have a Zen approach to being fired and never think about it again. I'm sorry. I meant to say, you will think about it all the time, dream about it more, and even momentarily consider purchasing an online voodoo doll-making kit from the set decorator of Gilligan's Island. Someday, you will start going to more funerals than weddings. This is not long after you'd gotten used to the idea that you were going to more weddings than Taco Tuesdays. You will cry over the notion of your kids leaving not long after they arrive. Then again, when it's actually close. Then again, when watching the end of Toy Story 3. You will always think you are the same age as the cutest girl at Starbucks. At least until she says, "Excuse me, Sir, I think you dropped your banana." You will remember the names of every peripheral character from every Brady Bunch episode and all the '75 Cincinnati Reds, but have no recollection of the name of the person you met with half an hour ago. You may reach a point where you are more concerned with finding your voice or protecting your legacy than making money. While still being acutely aware that neither voice nor legacy pay for juice boxes or a condo in Tarzana. You will never wear your high school letterman's jacket again, except to a 50's costume party. Also, you'll never go to a 50's costume party. There is no moment where you definitively feel "I've made it!" There is no moment where you definitively feel "I'm a grown up." In fact, no matter how old your kids get, you're still always secretly wondering when the real grown ups are going to get there. If not to take over, at least to drop off the handbook. You can have almost no friends in grade school and 25,000 Twitter followers now and both feel roughly the same. Unless you graduated from Trump University, nobody cares where you went to college. Believe me, I try to wedge Brown into sentences that have nothing to do with Brown. Like that. See, you didn't care. Over time, your body will change. You will spend a lot of time trying to get back to your high school weight. You will spend a lot of time trying to get back to Meat Loaf's high school weight. At some point, you may even accept that you probably won't play shirtless frisbee in an Abercrombie ad. Along similar lines, you may find yourself trapped in your own wet suit in a public beach bathroom. You may also momentarily consider blowing a drifter to get you out of said wet suit. The first time. The second time is more common beach courtesy. Right? That's what he told me. Friends will marry people you don't like. Friends will marry people you like too much. Classmates will die way younger than predicted by any actuarial chart or senior page quotes about living forever. The girlfriend you profess eternal love to on your senior page will almost definitely not be your girlfriend by the time you see the proofs of your senior page. Your real soulmate will never be who you thought it was going to be. But unlike all romantic comedies and Nicholas Sparks books, the success of your marriage is less a function of how cute you met or the intensity of your passion. And way more a function of whether you remembered to go to Trader Joe's or unload the dishwasher. Your back may someday be so tight you sleep on a heating pad and a gallon of Ben-Gay. And no, you didn't suffer a ski accident. Or even a pickle-jar opening mishap. You'll learn that how people present themselves to the world or on social media isn't always how they feel inside. Often it's the polar opposite. You may learn that, too. Your professional life may feel like high school. But not in the sense that hard work equals good grades equals selective college of your choice. No, more in the cool, popular crowd still gets rewarded for being cool and popular and having nice hair. And for living in the Palisades and vacationing with development execs. Similarly, people who never opened a book in high school will make exponentially more money than you will. Never underestimate the words "family real estate." You may, at some point, suffer from depression, severe depression or Pennant Fever. As important as the names Martha Quinn and Kajagoogoo were in your teen years, the names Lexapro and Xanax will be in your forties. You'll romanticize literally everything that happened before you were 30. You'll stop eating because you're hungry but to blunt the pain of general existence. Or because Baby Ruths make you feel better than carrots. You'll need to learn to talk to girls. Not just at them or about them. You will reach an age where you think women in their fifties are "cute." And an age where your body will suddenly fail you in ways that didn't existed. Like gallstones. And liver failure. And skin so yellow that people think you're Ned Flanders' stunt double. You'll eventually realize that your babies are only babies for an incredibly short time. And that most of the time you know them will be as fellow adults. Some days breaking a half hour sitcom story feels like forever. And everything else literally just flies by. You'll fail more than you succeed. And bouncing back from failure will sneakily be your greatest success. You may knowingly experience pain because it's better to feel the panoply of human emotions than it is to band-aid over them with bong hits and Peanut M & M's. And with any luck, you may someday reach a point where you don't give a shit what anyone thinks about. You'll present yourself to the world as you honestly are without trying to put up a facade of success or well-being. And you'll be okay with that. That, I think, is where true freedom lies. And I can't wait to get there.

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