#its gonna eat at me forever
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i was gonna ask how inertia II (helped superboy prime fight the teen titans) fit in the too many thads AU cause i originally thought he was an thad/bart clone but? he's just some dude? i feel like your (fantastic) fic gave him as much mind as the comics
truly that version of Inertia is such a mystery to me GOD i have so many questions. like, he isn't paid much mind within the actual narrative bc there's like 8 different fights happening all at once and Superboy Prime is the main antagonist but, straight up Who Is He.
like in the span of #98-100 there's a couple things that do get confirmed about him
for instance:
"After this is over, I gotta talk to them about this costume they gave me, I mean - green? It's the color of a turtle. Talk about Irony."
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"This Inertia hasn't got a clue. He doesn't know that the last speedster to wear that costume killed me. I got better. But the scars run deep."
New Inertia says "they" gave him the Inertia costume. Who is "they"? Superboy Prime? CRAYDL? Someone else?
Bart concludes that New Inertia doesn't know how the previous one killed him. I assume just based on New Inertia's irreverence? But unclear.
"Inertia killed Bart, but that's not the same one. He's two inches taller. No doubt the costume choice is deliberate. Bart only has a few buttons, so it's easy to push them."
Tim notes in his narration that this Inertia is two inches taller than the last one. Why? What purpose does that serve?
Superboy Prime has proven himself capable of making clones, given the gaggle of Kon clones that show up in this fight, but if he made New Inertia to be another clone of Bart or of the previous Inertia, why the physical difference?
Even Bart can't figure out if this guy is a clone or not:
"What's the deal with all these clones? Is that Inertia one too? Or just another speedster?"
Which is kinda wild because although there is a wide selection of speedsters in present, Bart knows pretty much all of them. And even if this is a Random Guy With Superspeed, what would compel him to be here, fighting Bart?
And before any questions can be asked or answers can be given, Bart gets a lil lost in the trauma sauce (can't really blame him) and kicks the shit out of New Inertia
"I died. That happened. Inertia was the catalyst for it. He delivered the fatal blow. But I'm back, and this isn't the same Inertia, right? This is real. I've played out this scenario in my head over and over again. And every time, it felt better and better. Inflicting pain. Destroying him. Avenging myself."
"So much anger - radiating like the sun. A dark, black sun. Bart is seething with rage."
"It's what he deserves."
the "it's what he deserves" line always gets me. because they've already established this is a New Inertia, he literally hasn't done anything except fuck around causing trouble along with the rest of Superboy Prime's posse. anyway Bart obviously has lots of baggage surrounding Inertia, with the actions of one bleeding onto the other.
(fun fact Raven's description of Bart's emotions being a dark black sun informs a lot of the imagery in chapter 21 of Frequency)
"I... I could've killed him."
"But you didn't. You controlled your emotions."
"Yeah. See, Raven - we all got our demons inside."
AND THAT IS THE LAST WE SEE OF THIS GUY. Where does he go after this? Is he still unconscious after the fight or does he get away while they're going after Superboy Prime? Who does he go back to? Who The Hell Is He? Fuck you they gotta punch Superboy Prime so hard he ends up in purgatory.
Then of course the run is over, the universe is rebooted, and we get New 52. So all these questions will presumably remain unanswered forever.
But Canon Things About New Inertia Include:
he's "new to this"
not the previous incarnation of Inertia
two inches taller than the previous Inertia
received the Inertia costume from someone else, only referred to as "they"
working with Superboy Prime, but with zero on-panel interactions with either Superboy Prime or any of the other villains who have joined the fight. the degree of familiarity is unclear if not nonexistent.
irreverence regarding his predecessor implies he doesn't know the full history of what went down between Inertia and Bart
may or may not be another clone
gets the shit kicked out of him
it's so frustratingly vague lmao.
so yeah i took that and ran with it to inform Six's traits and backstory: The "they" who gave him the costume becoming CRAYDL, the other Six's, (and Project Inertia more generally). His height because he's slightly older than the previous Inertia was.
Follows-up on the previous Inertia's antagonism with only vague knowledge of what actually happened. Underestimates Bart's feelings on the topic. Joins up with Superboy Prime, not because of loyalty or familiarity but because going solo is what killed the old guy. Irreverent, uncommitted, overconfident. Tends to get the shit kicked out of him.
and then to follow up on this fight, Six's "first" meeting with Bart becomes his own weird revenge quest over that one time Bart kicked his ass. mostly just wanted the closure there, and for Six to have held a grudge about it for literal centuries bc it is funny 2 me.
my motivation for writing Frequency came from a frustration at the contradictory/unexplained/unexplored plot points and storylines specifically surrounding Thad/Inertia, this whole thing being a major one. At its most basic, Frequency is just my attempt to weave the disparate elements of canon into a cohesive narrative.
#asks#reversedumbrella#got carried away with this one lmao i just#i still dont know why this new guy showed up or what he was even doing there#its gonna eat at me forever#the multiple clones theory is a very convenient explanation that nonetheless remains fanmade#frequency fic
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never change, man !
#phantom of the paradise#potp#swan potp#nightmaretheater#65 layers and about 24 hours . Eeeyyuppp#Look into my beautiful mind boy#Its a bit unusual to what i usually draw#but i had to push a specific look for this piece#hopefully you all are picking up on the corperate look . the advertisment look#Sneeze. Anyways my point is industry destroys creative people. This includes swan#I feel like phrases like these ; how he was put on a pedistal…. it lead him to be Like That#as awful as he is he desperately needed help#it might seem like vanity on the surface#but i think its… more than that#long story short: we need to destroy the beauty industry. the skincare industry. the anti-aging industry#It ruined his psyche forever and he cant let go of the ideal version of himself he will never truly be again#i dont think he can at this point. hes in too deep and hes suffering for it no matter how much he feels hes fixed his problems#he cant accept a version of himself that isnt that perfect young man. because he never confronted his problems. he just ran away#anyways . Hi swath *punches him**kicks him*#i dont care if nobody gets me lalalalla my truths and headcanons are awesome forever and i live in my own reality lallaallal#sorry i think im gonna be posting about swan alot for a few months hes making me sick#i wass gonna post this earlier but my internet was real bad#*lays down in my pile of pillows* eat up boys. haha#sidenote: drawing white blond people is horrifiying. Boy your skin and hair are the same color. Introduce some contrast to yourself. Please#adding on: its inportant to note this focuses on him looking st himself in the mirror alot on purpouse#to remind himself what he ‘’’’really’’’’ looks like#the 4 middle pannels all represent that too . u have to be in my brain ri get this#sorry for unleashijg another swan essay in my tags. will happen again lol
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theres another universe where q!phil WASNT left behind by forever and bad for that final investigation, where q!phil was there for that federation office argument/explanation, and im so sad we didnt get to see it. Because it absolutely wouldve such an interesting turn to what we got. because we have-
forever, stuck between bad & baghera, whom he still considers himself a trio with, and tubbo, the drive of the investigation and stunning verbal proof of a kidnapping, but no physical. in addition to the personal aspects, he is still president, and might consider that part an obligation of some objectivity
baghera, who has promised bad not to tell, but dont mistake her personal support and loyalty to bad in this for a support of his actions in capturing and keeping WB011 locked away underground. she may be complicit now in onr aspect, but not supportive
phil, who is there having promised tubbo to back him, but dont mistake his support for tubbo as support for the federation. phil who respects bad and knows he would do anything to keep all of the eggs safe and bring them back. phil who bad in turn respects for taking in an egg who has become his own (he gets the feeling) and knows would do anything to keep them safe.
i dont remember where i was going with this fully but like. i feel like the addition to someone who in the conversation was solidly on q!tubbos side out of personal loyalty the way a!baghera was for q!bad wouldve made the scene a lot more even? if not interesting if only because i genuinely cant figure to what extent phil mightve joined in from cc!phil being tired af, or phil definitely being more anti-federation than ambivalent like tubbo is (aside from flying in the face of create rules and other general limitations), or also just because we definitely havent seen the full impact of cucurucho and the federation fucking gaslighting q!phil into thinking what happened with the birdhouse was a dream, and literally still feeling like he's unable to tell apart if something is reality or a dream
#qsmp#qsmp 9/26/23#tsu talks#tsu rambles#i am just BRAINDUMPING on the train after work now#ive turned off bads stream bc its gonna eat my data usage but. i keep thinking abt what if phil was there for that#its so fascinating to me that if he WAS we definitely would've seen more a similarity between baghera and phils stances on being there#mainly thatthey are there purely for support for their respective friends#not for a side of the argument itself#q philza#q bbh#q baghera#q tubbo#q forever
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I relate to the
“I have things to do, better take my medication”
“but I need to eat”
“Okay no medicine”
“but things to do-“
loop SO MUCH
I typically just eat right before I take medicine- that doesn’t solve having to cook but you can always just make ramen or get microwaveable meals
I dunno why I sent this- it probably won’t help much- uhh-
yeah no i feel that. = 3 = I try to do that but;;; idk! i feel! bad about only eating dumb microwave meals and stuff. like. i worry about it not being very healthy or financially wise and shit like that, y'know? and then i'll like. be awake in the dead of night trying to fall asleep and be like.
omg.... you know what would be so good...? soup.... i would love to make soup i haven't made soup in forever it's FALL WEATHER i should make SOUP ugh it would be so fantastic i should do that i'll make soup...
but then the morning comes and it's like... ah... well... the desire for soup still somewhat persists, but....
#and then sometimes ill like. BUY INGREDIENTS and shit at the store#not even like COMPLICATED INGREDIENTS but like. fucking. shit to make sandwiches with#and then i wont fucking eat half of it#and it goes bad#and i FEEL BAD coz i DONT LIKE WASTING FOOD but AHHHHH ITS HARDDDD#screaming#cooking is so hard sometimes and ill be like#OKAY IM GONNA COOK BEFORE I TAKE MY MEDICINE OKAY LETS GO#and it just... it just doesnt happen. despite my best efforts#and ill give up#i also tend to like. make food and start eating#and then take my medicine while im eating because im an idiot#and then i get distracted while im eating so its taking me forever coz im doing other shit at the same time#and then the meds kick in#so i dont wanna eat anymore#but i still have the food that i made right here#and then i just end up#spending the day sitting around with a fucking. bowl of pasta#that i just slowly nurse over a period of like 8 hours#idk man its ridiculous#it might be better when i have a new job and likeee have a routine again idk#asks#anon#i bought potatoes to make soup i HAVE SOUP STUFF... but... but soup takes so long... and... and what if i dont eat it... then ill be sad..
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attenjtion freaks
its me
#sludgetalkz#yeah its me sludge im back hey whats up#im still. not feeling great im gonna be honest with you#but my short time away gave me enough time to fuckin. re evaluate some personal shit so thats something i guess#sure i still have a ways to go and sure i was gone only like 3 days but i feel like i am regardless not the same man i was prior#all ill say is theres a lot of things wrong with me that i might never be able to share#but what matters is i finally got enough of a wake up call to actually start to work on it instead of letting it eat me up inside forever#i hope those little freaks who took over in my stead for a bit didnt bother anybody too badly#i dunno what else to say here so i guess just. take care of yourselves. tell some people that you love them. eat your favorite food#go outside for a bit and just take in the sights of life or something#just for the love of god dont be like me
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It is sunday night. I remain exhausted.
#my stuff#i tried everything this weekend and nothing is healing my Existential Ambivalence#like i know i cooked and i saw friends and i did my hobbies and normally i'd be proud of myself for all that but i just...don't care#i wanna call out sick or something tomorrow. I'm worried about my finances and i genuinely think im gonna have to move somewhere cheaper#like i was expecting my tax return to offset the slow bleed of money from my savings each month and that Is Not Happening#And its not like i have any way to Make More Money#bc im a grad student and we're contractually prevented from doing so#So that means i'll need to move when my lease is up this summer and i really don't fucking want to#i like where i live i just wish it wasn't so goddamn expensive on rent#even like $200 cheaper would be world changing for me#but no instead i gotta look at my bills after power and car insurance and food and be like oops guess i lost $100 this month#and god forbid i get coffee or eat out in the cheapest way possible bc somehow that adds up to like $100 the second i look away#im sick of being anxious about this!! im not eating enough as it is!!#i also don't wanna get a fucking roommate bc i don't want someone in a space i've come to consider my own#like sorry but im transgender do not fucking look at me stranger#so the only real solution is to move and that's such a fucking hassle and it doesn't solve the problem now and i just want this to get bettr#i wish all students a very $2000 raise forever#and all landlords a very Scrooge Moment that makes you cut my rent in half#ave omnissiah
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someone come to texas and hold my hand so i wont be so afraid to go downstairs and get a little snack
#I HAGE. DONUT. IN FRIDGE. BUT IM TERRIFIED OF LEAVING MY BED RAUUUUUFUGJGHGGGHG#my cousin and aunt straight up told these people to their faces i dont have anxiety anymore .#im trying to wait until 1. my roommate leaves the room so i can set up emory and play vidygame / draw to distract#or 2. house parent comes in and tells me its okay for me to go down and get something to eat and maybe goes with me#i feel like i need Permission to exist anywhere outside of my own fuckgin bed im gonna explode and die forever#all of this is /lh btw im just going through thw social horrors#dialogue
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im so glad i chose a post surgery treat because haha turns out its not as simple and anxiety free as i thought!!!!!!!! because my body cant be normal for five minutes everything is more complicated than it needs to be!!!!!!!!!!!
#bookbird babbles#aaaaaaaahhhhhhh#might need Two Treats#i did get a boba about it#and i forgot my umbrella in the office#surgeon seemed Nice but hahaaaaa im Scared now lolsob#im so angry at the people who made me get this 10 fucken years ago#'its easy and pain free and lasts forever' NO THE FUCK IT ISNT AND NO THE FUCK IT DOES NOT#crying screaming throwing furniture#my moms nuts dot com order came though so im gonna eat chocolate espresso beans about it
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i life is fucking falling apart out of nowhere and i dont know what to do sbout it
#im so so fucking tired and stressed and angry and upset and i cant do anything#my cat is hurt and in pain and we cant even get her to eat even though she hasnt eaten in days#but i dont know what to do about it when she refuses to eat#and weve spent over $600 on her medical care so far and we already dont have lots of money to waste#and its all our fault snd its all MY fault for letting her leave the house#but i cant DO anything about it because even now my mom leaves the doors and windows wide open for the cats to go out snd get themselves#killed because she just doesnt fucking care and i cant DO anything about it i cant keep them safe on my own#i dont even know if shes going yo survive this or if shes gonna have long lasting effects forever#and now my computer keeps bluescreening repeatedly and im not good enough with computers to know how to fix it#and im too fucking stupid to follow instructions and i dont know what to DO#and im scared my computer is gonna die for real and then whats gonna be of me#im spending so much money more money than i even have to pay for this computer#and its one of the only good things i have in my stupid fucking life right now and i cant do anything as i watch it bluescreen#im fucking scared and stressed and anxious and i cant fucking do this#whatever sorry. rant over i just needed to talk
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Iv been crying so much more recently int he past few month I feel like I'm going crazy, I keep freaking out and losing it and hating myself more and more
And now my eyes sting while I'm crying and that hurts and I don't know what to do I don't know
#i gained so much weight in the new two days what happened#i didnt eat more than normal i feel#im never going to be normal and ok looking again i put on all this stupis weight#becuaae of my birth control and its never going to go away#and i feel it bwijg like a slippeely slop into bad habits to deapratly loose weight#but it wont ever fucking work#because i also suck and cant stop doing shit that makes me ugly#im just an ugly gross person and no ones ever going to want to put up with me foe more than a quick few hours#im not built to be enjoyed for long periods of times for intimately#just as the silly friend of the group that you can only put up with till you cant stand them#im nothing#i literally have nothing going for me#what? i can draw a little? so can fucking anyone and everyone#ans way better than me#im fat and gross and spell bad and have bad habits and i cry all the time#and somethings always wrong with my lifand i have adhd so i tend to leave ahit undone forever#thank god im a coward and im not gonna like#do anything to myself#but i fr have been having morw and more days where i just wish#idk#i dont wish i was dead but i do wish i didnt exist#just sidnt have to think about shit#but i am here and i do havw to think about sjit#and im just gonna have to keep crying snd dealing with shit and feeling miserable for however many fucking yeads im gonna be on this earth
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the renovation starts tmrrw (LOL) and i woke up from a dream abt it crying. awesome
#today is our last day having a deck and i genuinely feel sick to my stomach over it. ik it’s just a piece of wood and it’s falling apart but#omg like… o ur house is about to not be our house anymore. like the deck is where me and my siblings played w our best friends it’s where i#paced back and forth to get fresh air so many times ater losing my shit during lockdown and it’s literally about to be gone…. forever? ok!!!#and then the kitchen is going to go and im going to lose it genuinely. like this house is shitty and rotting and falling apart and its great#that we are getting a renovation finally but jesus christ i have lived here all my life and yeah i hate the kitchen but it’s home and you’re#just gonna tear it down and make jt 3x bigger like it’s nothing??? ok 😂😂😂😂😂😂#purrs#literally im getting war flashbacks to losing the van which was never gonna drive again but it was my SPACE for all of lockdown and#it got fucking junked after being my sanctuary (as unpleasant as it was) for like 2 years not to mention OUR CAR that we did everything in a#and now we have my grandparents car and there isn’t a backseat so i don’t get room to breathe when they drive. and also my grandparents#house has officially been demolished to make way for a fucking mansion and the near total renovation of my high school is almost done which#means the classroom where i became a human being is gone and the office is going to get destroyed too when that renovation happens and we’ll#have to go make a home somewhere else. i know this kind of thing happens but it makes me want to start screaming. like yeah these#renovations will make life better for everyone (except the fucking mansion it’s bc my grandparents died and the developers are selfish and#cruel lol!!!!!) but the way so many of the spaces that have been important to me keep ending up getting destroyed after im done w them. it’s#comforting in a way bc it’s like oh no one else gets to have it be important but also no that ISNT comforting i want those spaces to keep#being sacred i want them to mean something to other people and i want to be able to go back and soak in the memories again. and everyone is#mad at me for freaking out the renovation but it’s like ok you come into our living space you destroy core parts of my childhood and also#create a situation where we literally can’t like eat or cook anything in the house for months like idk what we’re gonna do bc we don’t go#anywhere bc of covid except work for me and school for my brother so. idk. this whole thing SUCKS. i can’t believe it’s starting tomorrow#and i can’t believe the deck is about to be gone. pain and suffering and pain and suffering and pain and suffering.
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falling down an aba therapy rabbit hole god so many people just treat autistic people with fluctuating abilities as subhuman there is always a better workaround for kid AND parent but really its not about the parent here its abt the kid
#just saw avideo of one kid. slightly messy eater. He could communicate he understood that it wasn't the best and was being punished for ea#ting with his hands like. grughf. Youcould discuss WHY he likes eating with his hands. Maybe its a sensory thing or maybe it helps him to#bring the food to his mouth that way maybe his motor skills with forks is harder than it was for him to write. He really liked writing may#be before supper or while supper is being cooked you turn his writing fixation into a game. Lets see how much you can write before I finish#supper in 30 mintues!! And then we're gonna eat for 30 minutes!#Or like. Help him to understand some foods CAN be eaten with hands and its ok but some foods we have to eat with a fork. Yeah it can be con#fusing. Lets write a list of food we can eat with our hands and ones we cant! Can we eat... ice cream with our hands? No! That'd be so mes#sy and our hands would get gross and sticky!! Yuck!#SORRY. I just. hate when people dont remember kids are real live functional human beings#my next door neighbors kid was autistic as well#Mostly nonverbal but once you were around him enough you could really hear his own voice! He COULD talk you just had to listen and I did!!#We would talk or he'd show me what he was doing and I would listen and I taught him how to find out the age of anyone (their birthyear minu#s current year) and he got hooked on doing that forever. LIKE its not hard to respect and learn *with* autistic people. GRRRRGHDGDJH#I get told a lot im gr8 with kids and its like haha yeah bc I remember kids are living breathing individuals who WANT to be treated like t#hey are that and not dumb idiot babies who cant think for themself#You would be amazed CONSTANTLY by how SMART little kids can be if you LISTENED to them oh my god!!
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.
#periodical life updates#finished all my criminology homework! now i got sunday off to chill and maybe draw and also me and my sibs might go to chinatown? but idk#because dad's bbq-ing which might change some plans. anyway! eating dinner now :> its not my favorite but it is okay <3#high priority art to-dos: commission | daily eca (for tomorrow and the project) | art for *** and ******* | annual birthday redraw#general arts: mrd thing for monday | solepsi art | things for the ace iterations | the cases ref#self indulgence: drawtectives (i wanna draw more eugenes) | agent | fun ace things#my queue is winding down so that might go quiet in a bit <3 there's about a dozen things left <3 we'll see i suppose <3#project sekai updates: cannot believe i have to wait 6 more events until the next wxs event i just want a cool emu :'0#my strongest team is all four stars except for a three star emu; i just want a 4 star for her <3 also!! nicori smile survey for that event!#and also its probably the one where tsukasa makes a child cry by yelling about how hes gonna be a cool star hgkjh#but theres been so many events that just! arent wxs! it's been 13 events since the last one to the next one we get u-u <33 i miss them;;;#but we get some mmj ones so at least theres that <3 mmj's my assigned group and wxs's my favorite group so i have an attachment to both <3#but yeah im gonna save up gems for a cool emu card <3 theres the valentines day one too? AND ALSO. TSUKASA AS A KNIGHT?#FOR THE WHITE DAY EVENT!! HE LOOKS AESTHETIC AS HEL I LOVE KNIGHTS!!! <3 so maybe i'll try for those!!#im also writing a drawtectives fic and recently i drew some aces from one of the old aus <3 i miss him i love my little guy <33#im downloading all my old twitter archives. i have a lot of memories there i need to keep or else i'll be so sad <3 trying my best <33#i have school on monday as usual <3 can you believe my birthdays coming up this month? it feels like ive been 21 forever hgjkh <3#i think thats all the updates for now; im sleepy <33 goodnight. thank you for reading; ily <33
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i was the biggest scaredycat as a child but between fixations with ddlc and dhmis i think i'm about normal now
#i am so obsessed with the creativity song that the visuals dont even bother me anymore#when i was a child i was scared of the color purple for a long time because of the purple minions in despicable me 2#about a year or two after being scared of the color red for a while after watching the episode of courage the cowardly dog where#the old man eats alien eggs or whatever and has red eyes idk its been ten years i dont remember the details#i thought i was gonna be scared of horror forever but i think i could watch a slasher film now#also dw im still obsessed with ii. dhmis is probably gonna get kicked to the curb when the new ep comes out in a week lol
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gonna be such an exhausting but hopefully fulfilling week. feeling very much a combo of :) and 😵💫 in a good way
#got a screenprinting course at the lgbt centre here every day + orville peck on wednesday (!!!) + seeing my friends on thursday but we’re#just gonna be watching dw (i miss my buddy ten its been like months since we watched dw) and eating pasta#im lookin forward to that#and the orville peck i mean hellooooo#i bought these tickets in like. march#dragging my dad along who has never heard a single orville song. and is very straight#and screenprinting i mean thats fun that’s exciting cause. honestly that medium scares me so bad. so itll be good to learn#and i like that centre its nice#and honestly it seems like a really good program it free + you get paid + they take you places + etc#and its for queer youth which. could go either way tbh but oh well at least ill be talking to people irl which. i never do#i have to work monday + tuesday which is gonna be a drag but oh well. a paycheque is a paycheque it is what it is#also a shirt i ordered online just shipped. looking forward to that#stuff always gets held up forever at the border but oh well it’ll get here and it shipped faster than i had expected (it was a preorder)
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disassociated and depressed in the way where every color looks dull and yellow light makes you disassociate worse and every thought and action is so uninteresting
#im .having a really really hard time right now#i really dont know what any of this is gonna lead up to or if itll ever go away but im feeling so awful#its been this way for months now i really dont know what to do#i just wanna sleep the whole day away#walks arent helping#nothings helping#im so uninterested in everything and everyone its so much effort to talk to people#just. wake up eat watch tv sleep wake up eat watch tv sleep wake up eat watch tv sleep wake up eat watch tv sleep#i feel from my head down into my whole body just.loathing and disinterest and general depression#when the time comes to go to bed again im surprised because i realize i didnt do shit all day so it feels like the day just passed me by#i cant seem to get out this rut#im just depressed and just have constant radiating anxiety that i cant do anything about#my body feels heavy and tired constantly. my eyes feel heavy. my head feels tired#im just so tired and so so so disinterested in everything anymore. i cant see good in anything. i just feel so burnt out#i dont know how long its gonna last but it feels like forever#i wish i could just go into a coma for a few months or a few years or something#i just want this part gone#just radiating anxiety but too depressed to even do anything about it or even half care
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