#my cat is hurt and in pain and we cant even get her to eat even though she hasnt eaten in days | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mestruazioni · 1 year

Text

my dad told me to write a book about this past week but I don't have the strength so I'm gonna make a tumblr post about it.

starting wednesday: my great aunt dies. she was 88, so it's fine, just terribly depressing she died in a nursing home because her husband refused to have her at home in her last days. her husband, who has always been a control freak and the most stingy person I will ever meet, is Going Through It.

he's letting me and my mom and aunts do what we need to do for the showing, but he's controlling it all and yelling. the stingy part comes out when he asks the funeral director if the fridge connected to the coffin with his wife's body inside must stay connected to the electricity and must stay on. laughter ensues. honestly, thank god he asked in advance, otherwise he definitely would have pulled it out of the outlet. I can just imagine walking into his house the next day with the smell of rotting corpse. next day, he gets a 40° fever that simply won't go down.

aunts and everyone else starts going "please please don't make us have a double funeral". he is yelling blasphemy as they take his temperature multiple times a day. it's also worth saying he recently got his bladder removed and so now he pees in a bag. since he's a cheapskate, he doesn't empty it in the toilet, otherwise he'll have to flush and water is expensive I guess. so every couple of hours he wants to go in the garden and fuckin. piss in there. he falls down as he goes, hurts his ribs. fever goes up again. doc says ribs are okay. sure. fine. okay. fever goes down and up throughout the next four days. we're all worried sick, but luckily it doesn't get worse than that.

anyway. funeral happens on friday. it's sad, of course it's sad. when I get home, I start feeling sick. I realize I probably dressed too lightly for the weather. I wanted to serve cunt to a funeral and I paid the price. the toilet becomes my best friend. my cousin calls me, "I'm throwing up". oh shit, we realize, it's not cuz I was dressed too lightly! we both got a virus! I spend the entirety of friday night shitting and being unable to sleep. I get a light fever. saturday goes the same way.

"fuck," I say, as I remember I was supposed to go to my week-long spa holiday on sunday. I can't go. I can't get into thermal baths with diarrhea. I can't drive the 2 hours required to get there, I can barely get out of bed.

so I call the hotel. "I had a loss in my family" I say, instead of "I'm shitted me body and soul". "could I postpone my visit to next sunday?" I ask. they say "sorry for your loss! of course! it's no problem! we'll see you next sunday! so sorry for your loss again!" they say it so many times I start to think they themselves murdered my aunt. anyway, cool, see you next sunday.

the night between sunday and monday, I go to sleep at 6AM. I spend the entirety of the night tossing and turning, my legs killing me from the pain. never felt anything like it. got out of bed, barely made it down the stairs, got some painkillers, managed to sleep. in the meantime, my mother is worried sick for me.

I spend the week dealing with leg pain and eating nothing, I just don't feel hunger, I lose 2kgs. I go to work and spend entire days doing nothing, since I have next to nothing to do. I was supposed to be in a spa, after all. at some point, the cat throws up next to my head while I was sleeping.

I call the hotel again, just to make sure everything is okay and the new booking actually went through. they say yes, everything is fine, we'll see you on sunday. yes my friends. yes you will. I can't wait for you.

anyway.

it's finally friday! can't believe I'm finally going away on sunday, I can already feel the warmth of the thermal baths, the smell of the salt, the sauna... but no.

my car breaks. it's not moving. the motor light comes out and says HELP ME HELP ME I CANT BREATHE. I get it to a mechanic. we gotta change a part of the motor. do not even ask me what it is because I don't know. I never learned and never will. I just know where water and gas go, the rest is science I'm not mentally equipped to understand. long story short, the car can't be used.

I gotta rent a car.

I find one. my dad says he's gonna pay for it. love you my man. alright, let me put in your credit card info and we're good to go.

saturday I shit my soul again. "It's okay", I say, "this time you really were dressed too lightly" I say. I'm not gonna be sick at the spa, I'm not gonna reschedule again.

in the meantime, my mom gets paranoia. "too many things went wrong" she says, "you shouldn't leave. you didn't get a virus, it's probably a bacteria in the water. and you're going to thermal baths. it's going to be bad. don't go. please" I say MOTHER I AM BEGGING YOU DO NOT GIVE ME MORE ANXIETY

it's sunday now. let's go get this rented car and let's go to the hotel. my dad takes me to the rental place. I get checked in, everything goes okay. can't wait to try a new car! it's going to be so fun.

"we need the credit card of the main driver" the lady says. gurl. I don't have a credit card, I have a debit card. my dad says "use mine", the lady says "no it has to be registered to the main driver. it's in our terms and conditions" aw fuck! I'm an idiot! funny thing is, not only did I not read the terms and conditions, I didn't even know my card was a debit card. I thought it was credit. good day! good brain. adult.

fuck.

"I can give you a manual car, that way we won't need a card" girl I can't even keep queen's we will rock you beat, you think I'm capable of driving manual? no! I'm an idiot! I got the notif of when neil gaiman reblogged one of my posts tattooed on my body forever! I'm an impulsive idiot!!!!! I can't drive manual!!!!!!!

so we call the call center to cancel the booking. it takes 15 minutes. my anxiety attack is worsening. we manage to cancel it and get our money back, but now we need to find a new place to rent a car. thank god my dad didn't just drop me off and drive away. I'm holding his hand as he tells me it's all gonna be okay.

we find a new place to rent a car. they have a cool car and it's automatic. they accept debit cards. thank god. "you gotta pay for insurance, if nothing happens to the car we'll give it back to you when you get back" alright cool.

payment doesn't go through. ahah it's okay it happens sometimes let's try again.

payment doesn't go through. let's try actually inserting the card shall we

payment doesn't go through.

at this point I'm in full anxiety attack. what did I do. why doesn't the universe want me to go on this vacation. I have the money, I know I do, why isn't it going through? I am a failure.

"listen I'm going to make an exception and let your dad pay even if the card isn't in your name"

oh. oh lady. you gave me a "oh. oh." fanfic moment. absolute unit of a queen. total rebel. friend shaped. saint among mortals.

I finally get the fucking keys to the fucking car. I hug my dad, put on my playlist, fall in love with the car, call my dad to say "if you ever want to change cars consider this one". I work for Volkswagen now.

I get to the hotel. so beautiful. there's an old doggo at the entrance, she's gorgeous and fluffy and fun and lets me pet her belly. I find out it's actually the hotel's doggo. blessed place!!!!!

go to the receptionist, tell them my name and everything. they can't find me.

they can't. fucking. find me.

I don't even have the will to get anxious anymore. I'm just. done. it makes sense, I think. murphy's law hit me with a car, put it in reverse, ran me over another time and a few more times after that.

I am as tired as the senior doggo at the entrance is. I see the pool from the reception. I ache. there are four people at the reception now trying to find my fucking name in their servers.

"don't worry" they say, "we have availability, we just can't understand what happened"

I don't know whether to cry or cry at this point. they talk between themselves for a bit, they give me a coffee, I make small talk and laugh at the situation with them.

"to make up for the mistake we upgraded your original room for a better one at the same price" oh my sweet darlings

they give me my keys. I get to the room.

I fall on the bed.

war is over.

I close my eyes.

I'm still extremely paranoid. something bad is going to happen again, I can sense it. can't quite place it, I just feel it lurking around. I'm supposed to start relaxing, why do I feel like something is getting ready to attack me?

"Ah porcodio" I say, "succession ends tonight."

#eve

5 notes · View notes

atlasllm · 1 year

Text

liveblogged for the future post

NOT THE SLOT MACHIIINES

GOD THE RAEDA THEME SOUNDS SOO SAILOR MOON LIKE

It's kind of funny hearing Hunter again after hyperfixating on Sonic as my blorbo for the past months ESPECIALLY after replaying a game where Zeno Robinson also plays a cute animal character

WILLOW IS SO HAPPY TO BE BACK IN HER ELEMENT

Oh Hunter's fucking MAD MAD I'm so excited my stomach hurts

villains having a mental breakdown over the consequences of their actions my beloved

KISS MY GRASS

GUS BABY BOYYYY

angry emotional boys my fucking beloved

after sonic frontiers i aint trusting ANY character under 17 who claims they're fine

im gonna cry cats are so shaped

guysss splease collect the stars WE GOTTA GET MORE FISHING TOKENS

wait the sonicposting was a joke terra's being lobotomized by a tired hedgehog JSBGKJSD

THE HEDGEHOG TURNED INTO PIKACHU

no the kids are right this absolutely fucks as a memorial

i'm not sure what's more fucked up, seeing belos drag his decaying goop body to possess another clone of his dead brother or the cuphead show showing the decaying body of a child (well. cup child) on screen

i cant believe odalia is still a filthy capitalist after the apocalypse. shes even worse than the onceler himself

can this heather chandler wannabe get her simon laurent moment asap

I'M NOT A FAN OF PUPPETEERS BUT I'M A NAGGING FEAR SOMEONE ELSE IS PULLING AT THESE STRINGS

youtube

short haired eda <3 milf material frr

i am in so much fucking pain hunter needs 20 hugs

CHRISSY WAKE UP,,, I DONT LIKE THIS,,,

CHEKHOV'S GUN YOU MOTHERFUCKIN' SON OF A BITCH

BABY

WILLOW I AM BEGGING YOU TO AIM FOR THE THROAT RIGHT NOW M'AM

god i was willing to accept that miki was just another one of kikimora's kind but that VA was WAY too good at teen girling it up

goddd avi roque playing possessed raine is fucking phenomenal. amazing VA job

oh my god it took me too long to register we are seeing kiki's full ass mouth now

DONT "MEANT TO BE YOURS" YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE YOU PINK BITCH

WHY IS BOSCHA SUDDENLY RINA CODED

PORBLE!! !UFGCKIGN PORBLE !!! LUZZ FUCKING PORBLE CODED !!!!!!!

please i cant fucking cry right now im literally eating fistfulls of lifesaver wintergreen mints and if i cry i am going to drool all over my tablet

LUZ IS SO FUCKING PURPEL SHES PIYRBLE!!!! FUCKIGN PORBLE !! SO FUCKING PURPLE !!!!!!!!

i know theyre not filipino but damn my mom talks like this to gohan

i'm going to eat my fucking desk chair

#atlas speaks;#toh;#toh spoilers

2 notes · View notes

whalesfallmoved · 3 years

Text

hand over wound

round two.

chargestep, rated t. 1.9k.

a brief, helpless attempt at ortega’s point of view. the shameless flirty banter and back and forth of pre-heartbreak ricardo, whose main goal is being an absolute menace to society- population, sidestep. horribly self-indulgent in every way, but she lets herself get helped in this one, so what can I say.

ao3 link.

—

She’s got a hard grip and a bite sharp as her bark, and when you finally get her to put her hand in yours it’s not without the same sensation of coaxing a street cat out of hiding, flinching at the first sudden movement.

Not this time, though. This time, she lets you catch her wrist, lets you turn it over, and— oh boy— this is the most skin you’ve ever seen, sleeve pushed up almost to her elbow, wrists on display, never would’ve thought they’d look this dainty, crisscrossed as they are by scar tissue and branching blue veins and solid as birdbone.

She squeezes that small, angry little fist in your hand and the tendons flex, the knuckles split raw and furious, scabs already coagulating where the damage runs reddest. Her trophies for that blitz quick punch she packs, armorless and fast (but not as fast— not as fast as you— lightning striking twice.)

Fidgeting, antsy, she kicks her feet against your chair, knock-knock-knock, squeezing her mask in her other pink, exposed fist. Jittery, and you bite back something wry and flustering, something that’ll earn you a freeze and an idiot and a blush and oh, you love that even more, how you can watch it bloom freely now, worth the wait and the coaxing to get her to finally tug Sidestep off the rest of the way, leave just Noa and her big, big eyes (deep brown as a hound’s and you weren’t expecting that, for her to be so warm underneath the hard, cold turquoise) and how she desperately needs the mask, they’d never be scared of her otherwise—and with your other hand you loosen her curled fingers free.

Toss her a grin, tap her leg with yours, pretend you aren’t surprised by how soft her skin is when it’s not covered in skinsuit and blood, the way it’s never seen the Los Diablos sun—at least, not long enough to match the freckles on her doughy cheeks (freckles down her shoulder? her back?) Layers and layers and here she is, in your apartment, hand in hand, and fuck, you can say something about that too. Something about that kiss something about— later.

“So, I was thinking.”

“Wow. Did you hurt yourself?” Reflex, but she straightens up, watches, waits, and you like that too— the way she can’t hear, the way she has to ask.

“A little, yeah,” medkits and rags and clean water, you dab at the cuts and earn yourself a hiss.

“Out of practice, huh?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” You wink and that gets you a scowl, a twist of her mouth, and you’re pretty sure if you weren’t you you’d get her teeth, too. Not even Themmy would get away with that, much as she likes them, they can’t cross the hard line of her last name yet, and you’ve earned smug, you think, you grin, you drag the antiseptic across her knuckles while she’s still glaring and pink at the ears—her hand jerks in yours and you squeeze tighter, gentle. “I was thinking about your suit.”

“Trying to give some fashion advice? Pass.”

“First of all, if anyone here’s in desperate need of it—”

“Jesus fucking Christ, not this again.”

“Don’t get me wrong, you make the unwashed seventeen year old boy look work for you, somehow—”

“Asshole.”

“Sorry, would you prefer sexily disheveled?”

“You— shut up,” there it is, her averting gaze, her grooving brow, her pretty cheeks— ow, fuck— her foot ramming into your calf. “You are such a dick.”

“You love it,” wink, sly grin, she glares harder but doesn’t argue, you’ve got her there and you both know it. “And that wasn’t what I was going to say.”

The split cuts are worse than you thought, wounds wiped clean revealing the deep and the raw all laden on top of each other, opened again and again, her smarting palms scratched and torn, not so different from yours when you try hard enough but it’s different (because it’s her?) and fuck, how long has she been doing this?

Still can’t win her over with the blue and the white and big capital R and the promise of solid health benefits. Too bad. Can’t blame her though, even if it makes your job twice as hard to let her into the systems, to let her put her darting fingers all over the Rangers’ files, to let her anywhere near the missions you need her most.

“Well?”

Look up, and she’s watching and waiting still, and you must’ve gone quiet for a moment, turning her knuckles over.

“Your suit’s crap.” Homemade and spliced together, practically sportswear these days, riddled with seams and stitches she’s mended. Not bad for a third-rate vigilante, but that’s not her, not Sidestep, not your—

Not your anything, and she’d eat you alive if she ever caught the tail-end of a thought like that. But she’s going to get herself hurt all the same. More hurt than usual.

“It’s just lightweight. Yours isn’t any different.”

“Mine’s definitely different,” fresh white bandages over red, swollen bruises. You wind them around once, twice, taking care. “The material’s outdated. Where’d you get it, anyway?”

“None of your business,” she snaps, and you half expect her to rip away, pleasantly surprised when she doesn’t. “And it’s not like I can just hit Uncle Sam up for some brand new state of the art gear.”

“I mean, you could.”

“Don’t.”

“I think you’d look good in blue.”

“Ugh.”

“Just think about it. You. Me. Matching uniforms. We could get you a little lightning bolt, right here,” hand over your heart and she’s definitely going to hit you for that one. “I don’t mind sharing the brand with you.”

“Go die in a hole.”

“Ask nicely.”

“Please go die in a hole.”

“Will you join me?”

“Fuck no. I’m putting you there myself. Can’t stand your ass.”

“Good thing you’re sitting down then. Also, thinking about my ass, hmm? Good to know.”

“Ugh.”

“Bad time to ask about what other sounds your mouth can make?”

“Try it and I’ll feed you your own eyeballs.”

“Ohh, promises, promises.”

She wants to laugh, catching it quick between her teeth, a soft indent in her softer cheeks, and if you try a little harder you might be able to shake that grin from her, earn yourself a glimmer in her dark, dark eyes—and she’s running out of bark, out of bite, so the first round goes to you as you set her fist down, wrapped, clean and new in bandages that won’t last the next fight.

You reach for the other and she goes willingly, fingertips settling butterfly-light on you, her thumb to the heel of your hand, scars and nicks aligned. There’s something about it, about the skin, about the colder palm that rests quietly in yours, the mods sticking to your bones, and— yes, you like this the most; the way she lets you touch her, even if it’s just this, one kiss in the aftermath of violence and her wrists on display.

She breaks the silence not with a laugh or a sigh but a shake of her head, a suspicious cant of her eyes to yours, then away; blushed, accepting defeat. You smile, wash her wounds again with the slow repetition of old, small ritual and she knocks her ankle against yours, knee to knee.

“You’re a deeply troubled and troubling man, Ricardo Ortega.” She finally says, low and almost sweet, and there it is; a dimple beside her mouth, unwillingly surrendered, and the sight unfurls something achy and bruise-deep in your chest.

And the truth is, you can’t help yourself. “I love the way you say my name.”

“I swear—” a gasp, an exhale, her bandaged hand meeting her forehead, fissuring that barbed facade of sneers and razor-edged tongues. “You’re so fucking weird. Can’t you just take an insult like a normal person?”

“Oh, those were insults? But they sounded so sweet coming from you.” You reach for the bandages again. Repeat. Gauzy, featherlight loops around her flinching knuckles.

“God…”

“No need for that. Ricardo works just fine.”

“How about idiot?” And oh, you’ve got her soft, how’d you manage that? She’s red from her ears down her neck, flush disappearing beneath the black nanomesh, and you wait for her to smack your knee or bring a little teeth but all she does is squeeze your hand, nose scrunched jaw dimpled, melting, and your heart’s tattooing itself to the ribs—maybe you can get her to let you kiss her again, just to see what her lips feel like when they’re not red-slick with iron and sweat and fear. They were softer than you thought. Desperate, too. Almost as desperate as you, and fear’s a thrill a rush a jump but when you thought she’d ended up mashed on the pavement it—

“Only for you.” A tease or a confession and the most honest lie to cross your lips, you tuck the gauze but keep her hand, and she lets you, thumbs over the boundary line of your wrist. Strange. Almost intimate.

She pulls back just enough to trade places, snaring your hand between her own wounded ones, running circles around the emitter, fearless, unflinching, trusting, waiting. Always waiting and never staying long enough for an answer, like you could give her a straight one either way, like you even know what it is beyond aches and bruises and the pained gasp pressed to your lips when you pried her loose and held her tight, Psychopather gone on the ground, victory in the shape of her mouth.

Still, a skip runs down your spine as she massages down, down into the calloused meat of your hand, not even jumping at the kick of electricity, spiteful as blanket static.

“What, nothing stupid about kissing it better?” She mutters—disappointed?—and of course, how could you miss that chance—but she’s always been better about the plans, a thousand little ways to sidestep dancing around in that lovely skull of hers when all you want to do is charge right in, and as she pulls away you pull back, catch her gauzy, angry fists in your open palm.

She waits. Waits to see what you’ll do.

You watch, hold your breath, the biting grin gone now, mask shucked loose for a moment when she looks like that, soft and vulnerable in the white-gold light of your kitchen, and she could pull away if she wants, or careen forward, turn it into a punch, into a throttle.

But she doesn’t.

Her eyes really are pretty, warm brown like the slow burn of whiskey down your throat, and you keep them as you draw her hands up, bring those softened knuckles to your lips, feel the first twitches of a smile that you press lightly against her and— kissing—

And she raps the back of her fingers against your cheek, barely more than a tap, a reprimand and hey—! She jerks away, stands up, darts from your grasp, gone again. Moved too fast. You sigh, catch yourself, remember to smile.

“Idiot.” She scoffs, grabs her mask off the table, ducks her head like she’s expecting that soft hair to make a curtain, a shield, but it’s twisted back at the nape and you chuckle, lean back, because it looks like round two is yours again, and you want— you want—

She’s on the other side of the kitchen, working that mask back, turned away, and you don’t ask her to stay, you already know the answer, but fuck if you don’t love to watch her leave, if you can’t wait for round three.

#chargestep #ricardo ortega #sidestep #fallen hero #mywriting #shameless 'tenderness is stored in the hands' propaganda here #these idiots- desperately in love and not a thought between them #definitely used this mostly as an excuse to play with banter and the lighthearted almost flirting of two clowns that think fighting #definitely counts as a love language #(this is as tender as they get- at least for now. the idiots. <3)#hand over wound*

58 notes · View notes

sunsinrinn · 4 years

Text

Do you love her?

Bakugo X reader, Bakugo x Setsuna

Angst, mild language

Word count: 1,857

Idea: Reader ask Bakugo “Do you like/love her?” Three different times. (idea loosely based from song Do you love her by Jessie Reyez)

First fic ever so like i dunno what i am doing. Also I felt like he fit in for this idea (him or hawks) 😣hopefully ppl enjoy it

You watch as he is carefree around her, laughing so carelessly as you sit alone eating lunch. You begin to feel insecure as you notice he isn’t like that with you, considering you and him are together. He doesn’t seem to notice that you’re alone, already eating. But after a while he turns around and as he sees you his smile falters for a millisecond. You notice the falter and frown slightly before plastering a smile as he looks at you, he scoffs and walks towards your table and sits in front of you.

“What’s wrong with you now?”

You look at him analyzing his behavior and how it changed so quickly from carefree to annoyed.

“Well?! Aren’t you going to answer me??”

“Do you like her?” You blurt out and regret it as soon as he scowls.

“Are you fucking serious? I am stuck with you for fucks sakes! Tch,” He looks pissed, causing you to feel bad for insinuating him liking someone else.

“Sorry, I don’t know why I asked that I trust you completely” you say quietly, finishing up your meal. You get up and walk back to the classroom. As your classmates finish up their meals they begin flowing back into the class room and you notice Bakugo is a couple of minutes late. He looks at you and quickly looks away when he enters. You don’t think much because you have become used to him being cold.

As a couple of days go by from the day you asked him that question you notice he gives you more attention and isn’t quite as rude, almost becoming the guy he was when you first started dating. You didn’t think much of it other than being happy he is acting “normal” again. You begin to notice he is jittery and cautious near lunch time. With that you begin noticing how he only acts like that whenever Setsuna is near. It breaks you ever so slightly and makes you want to know why he is acting like that.

What you don’t know is that when you left that day Setsuna walks over to Bakugo and he becomes carefree again, so much to the point where he found himself alone with her outside making out. He feels on cloud nine but it diminishes when he remembers he is still with you. He breaks the kiss and sprints back to class. As he walks in class and spots you he begins to feel guilty and looks away. After that day he continued to feel guilty and he thought that being nice to you would remove the guilt.

After a week from noticing his strange behavior you cannot take it anymore and walk to his dorm. As you knock on the door and ask him about it, Denki walks by and says “Hey, just the gal I am looking for! Do you want to make some cookies with me?” You are about to say you couldn’t right now but him almost sensing a no from you makes puppy eyes and with that you give in.

“Sure, what kind do you wanna make?”

He contemplates and after a while says, “I dunno I actually didn’t think this far ahead also I don’t know how to bake but what about those round ones with the brown spots in them,” You look at him trying and failing to hold back a laughter, “Denki,,,, Do you mean Chocolate Chip cookies?”

“Yeah those ones!” He looks sheepishly at you.

“Alright come on.”

*in the kitchen area*

“How the heck did you get covered in flower, Denki?” You look at him as the flour cloud disappears.

“I- I don’t know one minute I was measuring the flour then next minute it somehow ends up everywhere”

*30 minutes later*

“Whew, I’m so proud of these cookies”

“Yeah apart from the flour situation these seem to turn out good.”

You both look down towards to cookies and each other and laugh softly. The class begins to come down to see where the smell of cookies is coming from and see both of you standing there proud of your cookies. As you offer everyone cookies you notice this was the most pure and fun activity you have done with someone, making you remember of Bakugo’s suspicious behavior. You excuse yourself as you make your way up to his room. You look towards his door and hold your breath as you knock.

“Who is it?” He yells out angrily.

“Its me.” You say loud enough for him to hear. As he opens the door he looks annoyed but lets you in. You walk in and stand there for a minute contemplating if you were overthinking his behavior but get startled by his voice.

“What do you want?” He says in an annoyed voice.

You feel discouraged but quietly say “Why are you acting weird...”

Silence feels the room but he finally speaks up, “What the hell are you going on about?”

“I’m talking about how you for some weird reason are acting kind, but you are also acting jitterish and cautious. Especially whenever Setsuna is around.”

He did not think you would catch on the him acting differently so instead of telling the truth he becomes defensive, “What the hell do you mean I’m acting kind? You’re my girlfriend I’m suppose to be nice to you! I am not acting weird, its just your insecure ass who wants to assume I’m cheating on you! I’m stuck with you aren’t I why would I cheat! Me and Setsuna are friends. I don’t have to just hang out with your clingy ass everyday just because we date” At his outburst you feel you’re heart break even more. “I just want to know one more thing,” He looks at you even more annoyed, “What now?”

“Do you like her?”

He hesitates before answering cautiously

“...No.”

As he looks into you’re eyes he sees that they were filled with an immense sadness. He regrets not answering quickly, He regrets that he doesn’t love you as much anymore he regrets even falling for Setsuna.

You look at him and say “If you don’t why did you hesitate? Why do you keep hiding things from me?! I really cant right now, I feel like we need to take a break.” By the end of that sentence your voice breaks slightly and Bakugo notices. He notices you restraining yourself from crying, from showing any type of weakness, something he’s only seen you do with someone you could no longer trust, he sees you building walls around your emotions again like the ones he knocked down when he first met you. Except this time the walls were being put up because of him. After a while of trying not to show any emotion he says,

“Fine, do whatever the hell you want. Its not like I need you anyways.”

You look at him and finally after a long time you leave as a single tear falls.

After you left Bakugo punches his wall while screaming so loud its a surprise no one heard him. You walk to your room and fall to your bed crying. The hesitation he did before answering was all the evidence you needed to know he loves her now.

Downstairs, Denki notices you aren’t around so he saves the last cookie for you. He walks up to your room and knocks lightly. You hear the knock and softly ask “Who is it?”

“It’s me Denki”

“Come in” You quickly wipe your tears and sit up. He walks in and notices your red eyes and begins to worry, “What happened? Why are you crying?”

You look at him as he worries you hesitantly say, “Bakugo and I are taking a break from each other...” He looks at you with a soft look and after a while he says, “Oh y/n, I’m sorry... Whenever you want to tell me why I will be here but I wont pressure you to tell me. Brought you a cookie so you feel better. If you want we can also watch some Netflix to forget for a while?” You sniff softly, “Thank you so much Denki. You’re a great friend.” Denki whispers “Yeah friends”

You scoot over so he can sit and begin to binge watch movies.

As days go by Bakugo thinks over on how he fucked up. He thought of different ways to make it up to you but always became distracted by Setsuna. He was infatuated by her and couldn’t stop thinking of her. He got to the point where he completely stop thinking of ways to get you back. He was so preoccupied with Setsuna he just decided to confront you no plans no ideas.

You begin to feel better, especially with Denki cheering you up. Even others tried helping, that girls made a girls night one night, Iida would just give you facts and ideas on how to act professionally during a break up making you giggle, Kirishima and Izuku would make small jokes here in there but izuku would always stutter slightly because he still getting used to talking to girls, heck even Shoto tried cheering you up by attempting to make you a small cat ice sculpture using his power but kinda failed making it look wonky. You stopped thinking of your break up and bakugo in general. You did notice every once in a while that he was usually with Setsuna.

After a couple of weeks of bliss, you hear a knock. You open the door thinking its Denki and see Bakugo standing there your smile drops and turns into a scowl. As you begin to shut the door he sticks his foot in causing the door to not close. You sigh and open it up again.

“What do you want Bakugo?”

“I came here to talk and get you back.”

You look at him in disbelief, “I thought you didn’t need me anyways?”

He looks startled at your words but answers, “I didn’t mean that y/n. I am sorry for the pain I caused you! I cant bear to live knowing I hurt you.”

“So you just want me to forgive you so you don’t feel guilty?” You ask disinterested in what he said. “No I really am sorry I was just caught up with Setsuna that I didn’t realize you’re the one for me.”

“Really? Weren’t you just yesterday hugging and holding hands with her?”

“I- that doesn’t mean anything to me! Only you! I only care for you” He says insistingly trying to convince not you but himself. He continues to ramble on about how much he wants you that he doesn’t here you when you speak, “I only have one thing I want to ask you and I hope you answer honestly this time.”

“Do you love her?”

“-want— YES-“ He cuts himself off and widens his eyes when he realizes his mistake. This was not how he planned his confrontation to go. You look at him with sorrow in your eyes and shed some tears.

“I knew it.” Was all you could say.

here is Part 1- Part 2 - Part 3

A/N- so um I think(?) I did a good job. Also maybe a part two, I dont know this is my first fic so i dunno.

#bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #angst #bnha x reader #bnha #mha x y/n #denki x reader #kaminari x reader

198 notes · View notes

obwjam · 3 years

Text

thank you thank you thank you for submitting this!!!!!!!! soft gentle peter is the best peter, skdjdkskd i love this so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️ UR THE BEST

———-

New Beginnings

Wrote a FemBorrower!ReaderxReader one shot for obwjam because she amazin, have mercy, I tried here we go.

1,617 words,

6 minutes and 28 seconds reading time

......................................................................................................................................................

Peter was almost finished helping Mr Delmar un-pack into his new store. He set down the last box and waited for Mr Delmar's further instructions. Suddenly there was a faint growl coming from outside that sounded like Murph (Mr Delmar's cat). Peter knew it would take a while before Delmar would be finished upstairs, so he decided to head out the door to see if Murph was alright.

You were limping on your way back home, maybe taking the shortcut through the sewers wasn't the best choice. It had been over a month since the accident, where you lost your brother to human carelessness.

You remember how he talked about this sandwich store that was moving to your old apartment. You knew it wasn't safe roaming out in the open, but ever since the humans living in that apartment moved out, you really needed something to eat.

You had just arrived at the store. Exhausted, you sat against a wall to take a break from that long walk. You took out a piece of ripped cloth from out of your bag in an attempt to start wiping the blood off your leg. But Suddenly, From the side of the store crept the biggest rat you have ever seen, or at least you thought it was a rat. It had huge pointy ears, You could barely see its eyes because of all that fur, but you knew it was a threat as soon as you heard it hiss at you.

You felt your stomach clench, your leg was busted, and you were so exhausted. You really didn't think you could outrun that thing.

“This is it,” you thought as you fixed your eyes on the creature, covering yourself with your arms, braced for impact.

Just then the huge door of the shop flung open, followed by what looked like a boy.

The cat lifted its paw and went straight for you. Although you were expecting it, you were shocked at the impact.

You swallowed your scream, but you couldn't hold in your tears. As soon as the first one escaped, a whole river flowed down your dusty cheeks.

"shit, shit, shit, fuck, this can't be happening," you whispered as you tried to control yourself. Now wasn't really a great time for panic attacks.

You rubbed your face hastily trying to define your emotions. You pushed yourself up from the wall and prepared to run, you couldn't let another human see you, not again. As you turned your back and started sprinting, the creature's huge paw flung straight for you and pushed you back to the floor. You groaned in pain hoping that this was all just a bad dream.

Peter bent down to pick up Murph, barely noticing you. “What's wrong Murph,” Peter said as he stroked the Murph's fur.

"That thing has a name?" You thought as you pushed yourself back up.

The cat turned to you and hissed down at your little form. The human turned its attention down to what or who Murph was hissing at.

You stared at the towering human hoping he wouldn't notice you, or just leave you alone. But then again, one look at your bloody ass foot and you decided you were a literal recipe for attention.

All those late-night stories about how you should be extra careful around them. never take any risks, they'd keep you in a jar on their nightstand for all their friends to see. They wouldn't hesitate to pick you up without your permission. You always thought it was kind of insane the way your brother described them, but once you let that thought slip to your head you started sweating.

You weren't exactly against human's existence, you just didn't want to deal with them.

It took a few seconds for Peter to comprehend what he was seeing, but as he slowly bent down again and let Murph go, he could make out an actual real-life borrower.

There had been several reports on capturing these little things on camera over the past few years, but Peter never imagined himself actually having an encounter with one.

She looked so scared. She was covered in dust, dried up bruises and scars. Her ankle looked like it was bent in an unnatural position. That huge scar on her waist looked fresh. Did Murph do this? did she- was she crying?

"H-hey bud, are you ok? you look really torn up"

yeah, no shit sherlock.

You forced yourself to look up at his huge empathetic face. You didn't like how he was looking down at you like you were some weak little shit in desperate need of help.

You tried to force words out of your mouth, but all that came out were weak whimpers, you felt unsteady, the bright sun behind the human made you feel dizzy.

Peter noticed this and used himself to block the sun. "That's ok you don't have to talk, d-do you maybe want something to eat?" Peter said expecting maybe a nod or anything indicating "yes". But you couldn't even hear him, white dots covered your vision as you grabbed your head trying to stop everything from spinning.

And then you blacked out.

You woke up on a cold smooth surface, you turned your head around trying to adjust your eyes to the light. you felt tired and your stomach felt empty and weak. you sat up slowly rubbing your eyes, suddenly a familiar voice filled the room.

"Thanks, May, but I'm stuffed!" Peter said with a small laugh as he entered the room and closed the door behind him.

You turned your head towards the noise, and once you set your eyes on the large room and the human you saw from before, you started panicking again. What time is it? Where am I? What the hell is going on.

This time there was no one to save you.

"you're awake," Peter said surprised. "I got u some leftover pizza, figured u might be hungry," Peter said as he strolled across the room towards you. You immediately stood up ignoring your aching leg but fell back down in an instant.

"WOAH Slow down, that leg's not gonna get any better if you keep putting pressure on it, trust me, I've had experience," Peter said with a small smile.

He set down a piece of pizza on a folded tissue and carefully slid it towards you. You scooted back a little but once you laid eyes on the piece of food he offered, you thought that maybe it wouldn't hurt to have a little.

You grabbed the piece of food like you hadn't eaten in days. You were still having your doubts though, like why this human was giving a shit about your wellbeing, but once you took the first bite, you were in heaven. An unforced smile spread across your face for the first time in a while, Peter couldn't help but smile too. He always felt good helping people.

"Hey is that leg okay?" Peter said as he shifted his gaze down to your bloody ankle. You looked back up at him again. You were a little scared to make converstation. I mean this human could crush you in seconds, but it had been a real long time since you actually talked to someone, so not wanting to make this any harder you cleared your throat and responded.

"Well, nothing has changed, still hurts like hell," you said with a weak smile. You tried speak as calmly as you could, panic attacks were a real common guest nowadays. Peter frowned, he didn't think anyone like you should suffer like this at such a young age. borrowers have it real hard huh.

"M-My name's Peter by the way," He said scratching the back of his head. "What's your name?"

You were a little surprised he even cared, "Oh uh, It's y/n".

"What are you going to do to me?" You said, sounding concerned.

Peter hadn't actually thought of it that way, he only brought you in because you looked like you were in really bad shape, and considering what Murph might have done, he naturally thought he owed you something.

"I- I just wanna help, just until you can get back on your feet again." He stood up and ran across the room to pull out a box from under his bed. He came back with some gauze and wipes. "I-If you'd let me".

You thought it was crazy he even bothered to help you. Still, you weren't sure you wanted to be handled by a human, If he was anything like the other human...

Peter noticed the doubtful look on your face. "I promise I'll be careful," He said almost whispering. You did have nowhere else to go, the dried up blood was starting to make you feel really uncomfortable, and if this human's intentions really were to help you, you're seeing humans in a whole new light.

you gave a weak nod and sat up straight so Peter could see the cuts. He rubbed the cold wipes gently on your leg. You jumped a little at contact and pressed your lips together, the wipes were a little too cold. But after a few seconds, you could handle it.

You stared at Peter, it was almost unbelievable how gentle he was. Usually, you would pay attention if someone was wiping your cuts, but something was comforting about Peter. When was the last time you could rely on someone other than yourself?

When he finished, he glanced back down at you. "T-Thanks Peter," you said with a smile. Peter beamed back, he was just happy you trusted him to help out.

......................................................................................................................................................

still cant believe this piece of shit took me 2 days wow.

#SRSLY THANK YOU IVE ALREADY READ IT TWICE #love the idea of borrowes just casually being known #and peter is just fascinated to see one in person #submission

14 notes · View notes

stripper-patrick · 4 years

Text

Squish🐠 Florian Munteanu

Warnings: smut, lots of fluff, pain

Tags: @mrsbanreswillseeyou

Relationship: Florian Munteanu x black plus sized reader

I walk through the true white halls of the hospital. My chest is tightening up. I’m nervous and scared as hell. I got a call from the hospital saying my boyfriend and neighbor in the hospital.

I arrive at the desk with barely enough oxygen to sustain myself. “Florian Munteanu”

“Yes he’s in room 266. Can I ask of your relationship towards him” she wraps the arm band around my wrist

“I’m his sister” I lie. She looks at my dark skin tone with confusion

“Take the elevator to the third floor and follow the arrows” without anything else being exchanged I run to the elevator pressing the button frantically.

“Please God just let him be ok” I say a silent prayer and cross myself before the door opens.

Being in this shitty thing couldn’t have been slower. Finally when the door opens I race out and look at the wall 266 on the left.

I make my way to the room and it’s silent. I knock on the door and hear a low voice telling me to come in. I walk through and go through the curtain seeing Florian with a cut on his swollen cheek. His knuckles are wrapped in ice and a nurse is wrapping his ribs up with bandage.

Tears spill over my eyes and I let out a controlled breath. I turn around and close my eyes getting myself together. “Y/N I’m ok” I dry my eyes and take another deep breath turning around

“If you were ok you wouldn’t be on the hospital what the hell happened” I ask

“You don’t know this but I’m a boxer and I set you as an emergency contact which is why you’re here but I promise I’m ok I’ve been through worse baby”

“Saying that doesn’t make anything better I swear” I sit down and he smiles

“You worry too much”

“You don’t worry enough”

“I want a cheeseburger when can I be released” he asks the nurse. A middle aged woman with a nice structure.

“Tomorrow morning. We just wanna make sure there’s no hemorrhages in the middle of the night”

“I’m staying”

“Y/N-”

“Ma’am I don’t think we can have overnight guests”

“You can today” I say. She looks down and finishes his bandage before leaving.

“You don’t have to stay”

“I’m staying and there’s nothing you can do to stop me” I say “you gave me a panic attack while I was driving so for my own sake I’m spending the night with you”

“I appreciate it”

...

I wake up and see Flo asleep. I stand up and stretch. The nurse comes in and smiles at me.

“I’m gonna go home to change and shower then I’ll be back” I whisper. She nods.

“Promise” I hear a low voice and then around seeing Flo with his eyes open. I walk over to him smiling.

“Promise” I kiss his head and leave going back to my apartment. The drive felt like the longest drive ever. Even with my nap I was still tired. I open the door and take a deep breath collecting my thoughts. My phone rings and I see it’s Flo.

“Hey Squish you ok”

“Did you just call me Squish?” His voice is raspy and deep. Ugh so hot.

“I did” I smile setting my purse down. I go in my bathroom and look at myself. I look like a raccoon.

“When you get a chance can you feed Zuni please the spare is under the mat”

“I will” I say

“Thank you princess”

“Of course” I hang up and go outside. I grab the key from under the mat and open the door revealing the beautifully structured apartment.

“Zuni” I call. A cute Savannah cat appears and meows at me. She rubs against my leg and I go into the kitchen seeing her empty bowl. I fill up her cat food and give her some water. I see the plants sitting on his window sill and I water them. I look around the house looking for cat poop just in case and surprisingly I don’t see any. My OCD makes me fluff the pillows and fix the crooked pictures of him and his family.

I leave out his apartment and lock it back before going back to mine. I grab my toothbrush and toothpaste and hair brush. I also grab a change of clothes putting them in my large purse. I grab a hair brush and some water in a spray bottle for my kinky hair.

I go into my bathroom and take a shower feeling the hot water drench me. I’m so tired.

Once I’m out I grab my phone checking the time, 4:56am. I put on a t-shirt and some leggings grabbing my slides. I grab my purse and walk out to my car feeling the warm spring weather hit me.

I turn the ignition and turn off the music just driving in silence. I do this a lot when I’m tired or emotional. He wants a cheeseburger and there’s only one place I know that’s open 24 hours. CJ’s. I drive over into the drive thru. I order food for me and him and proceed to the hospital.

I get back to the hospital and I’m immediately sent up. I get up to Florians room seeing him asleep again.

He opens his eyes hearing my movements and he tries to sit up but hisses in pain. I drop my stuff and rush to his side “lay back and chill out please”

“This is making me mad” his veins are prominent in his arms from his anger “I wanna move as a gotdamn please and hug you and kiss you and stand up without being in pain”

I lean down and hug him and kiss his lips “there now you only have two problems to work on. I bought you something”

His hand moves to my butt in my leggings caressing it. Since he’s having a moment I’ll let him feel me up a little “what’s that”

“A double cheeseburger” his eyes light up and I smile.

“I love you” he kisses me “but what about the nurse”

“I’m hiding it” she comes in and smiles at us. I sit in my seat waiting for her to take his blood pressure. When she’s finished she smiles at him.

“I’ll be back in like 2 hours to give you more pain medication if you need it”

“Thanks” he says. She leaves and I grab the cheeseburger from my purse

“Shit the sauce got in my bag”

“I’ll buy you another”

“I hate when you do that” I say handing it to him. He lifts his arm and retracts in pain. I stand up and sit next to him. I unwrap the cheeseburger feeding it to him.

“I want you to ride me and feed me” he says out of the blue.

“Squish you can’t get any until you feel better I don’t care what you say”

He whines “you can sit on my face”

“Absolutely not” I smile

“Can I at least get a kiss” I roll my eyes and lean in kissing him. I lean back and feed him the rest of his cheeseburger.

I clean off my hands and eat mine “I got us a milkshake to share” I pull out the large chocolate shake. He takes a sip and tries to sit up again. Florian groans in pain and I look at him.

“Where are you going” I ask

“I have to pee” I set down the stuff and go to his bedside helping him. I wrap his large arm around my shoulder and he tenses groaning at the pain.

“I’m sorry” I say. He’s finally to his feet and he takes a deep breath. He walks to the bathroom closing the door and I sit on the bed.

After like 3 minutes I hear his deep voice “babe come here”

I get up and open the door seeing a tent under his hospital gown.

“This is what you do to me” seeing him like this does turn me on I’m not gonna lie but what if he gets hurt more?

“I don’t wanna hurt you Florian you’d be better off waiting” I say

“I’m a big man I’ll be fine” he says “come bounce on it”

I couldn’t resist. I walk towards him and pull down my pants “promise me you’ll say something if I hurt you”

“Promise” I drop my underwear and go over to the bathtub putting my hands on the ledge. He follows me and carefully slides in with ease. I arch my back and start bouncing my ass on his meat feeling it graze my g-spot. My head drops and I spread my legs more going down further.

“That’s it shit” he moans. I feel his hand palm my right cheek before coming down hard on it. Both of his hands make their way to my hips and I grind harder. My ass is clapping against his hips.

“Look at this sight” he moans. I bring one hand up to my nipple rolling it for extra pleasure. I let out a shaky moan with his name to follow.

“Florian” He smacks my butt again making me moan out and slow down. I pick up the pace again still careful not to hurt him. Unfortunately this time my hair was in a pineapple so he couldn’t pull it.

I let my butt jiggle and come down harder feeling his dick press against my g-spot.

“Look at you bouncing on my dick like a rabbit damn you look so sexy” he slaps the side of my thigh and rubs my clit. I feel Florian move so now regardless if I’m up or down his dick is right on my spot “you’re gonna make me cum”

He rubs my clit harder and I cry out. Florian growls and I feel his legs shake as well as he cums. I lean all over him at the same time gripping the ledge of the bathtub.

My legs shake and nearly give out when he carefully moves his arm and holds me up. Despite his pain and my shaking body he continues to rub my clit making my toes curl and my eyes roll to the back of my head.

I push him off and watch him chuckle as I sit on the ledge. “You’re lucky I cant get on my knees and force you to cum in my mouth” he’s obsessed with eating me out

“The nurse is going to kick our asses if you don’t get back in that bed” I smile

“Do you need help getting up”

“I’m fine are you good” he nods. I stand up and grab the rail just in case my legs do me dirty. I grab my underwear and pants slipping back into those and he just watches me.

“You ready” I smile

“Always” I get on the non-injured side and wrap his arm around my shoulder. I help him back to the bed and he sits down slowly.

He moves over to the side and pats the bed. “Come lay with me”

I look at Flo and he pulls my arm. I get in the bed carefully and lay on his chest. After a little while I finally hear his faint snores. His heart beating is the most clamming noise to which I find myself falling asleep to.

#creed #creed 2 #creed ii #florian munteanu smut #florian munteanu #feb 3 #smut #fluff

368 notes · View notes

iconsumeheadcanons · 4 years

Text

persona characters autism headcanons!

hi im autistic and i started my day with sun so now im !!!!!!!!! some of these headcanons are from elsewhere on tumbr, but i dont know where :((( so i am hoping someone out there knows that n that everybody knows that i love them <3

(also go check out mollypaup and i think hypeswap if you havent already! they post some good stuff autism+adhd hc too!!! i think.. oh! and thieves-in-the-palace!!!)

Joker

there was some artwork from someone on tublr..where they pointed out that he doesnt really talk outside the metaverse so--hes hyperverbal as joker and just near nonverbal as akiren

he stims ALL THE TIME. that phone thing, the pencil thing, the little tappy tap of his foot, pulling at his bangs when hes embarrassed/smug. someone get him a fidget spinner. he’ll prob learn to do tricks with it

he probably sucks at focusing in class, like i know its just the game design but hes always surprised out of his daily “star out the window at the nearby office building” when his teachers ask him questions

mona mentions when the pt is at Wilton for the first time (after they run into shido) that joker eats like shit, and that could have multiple causes at the start of the story of course, but when i first played i thought that joker was a picky eater and that the variety (and amount of food) at the buffet would be an Ordeal...

tho mona makes that comment bc joker looked pale after having a little ptsd moment from shidos voice, but i didnt know that the first time i played

maybe when joker makes a face at ryuji putting so much ginger in his gyudon? joker probably does not like pickled ginger lol

his favortive foods are all spicy, which is why the curry he makes for his friends is always ‘overly spicy’, and why kasumi makes him a curry bento and joker kept going “...?” .... “....?!”

overly reflective glasses have been a great plus for him bc now he never has to make real eye contact every again!

mona Soft. play with Ann hair. maybe Braid. nice

puns (Gorou the Goroumet)

he has so many options to be straight up rude sometimes in game. he probably no clue on his own, which is why he defaults to Not Talking. people probably mention his constant scary face, which is just him being nonexpressive, squinting at all the fucking bright lights, and Tired

executive function who? we do everything last minute folks

high pain tolerance, which is why he was the kid that was always climbing trees in elementary school to get basketballs unstuck from the branches

his sixth sense lets him see treasure and possible places to climb/crawl bc 1. Shiny? Steal it. Steal it Now. and 2. Could i fit in that? Time to Find Out

probalby a bit of a klepto too oops. he’ll return it tho!! but he has to do it dramatically or he’ll die

cant sit properly to save his life

smells and touch are Great, they can keep him grounded when his brain goes off to police or dead rivals or guilt or

if a friend hung out with him and gave him total reigns of the agenda, he would choose to nap on the floor while his friend does something off to the side quietly

hyperfocuses on handy tasks (i.e. lockpicks, coffee brewing, cleaning, his part time jobs) and some things like movies and books. everything else is a tossup

his (normal) navigation app is his most used app bc he still doesnt know where hes going, even though he only goes to the same few places in the city

hates being sweaty, literally cannot stand it. probably double exhausted during the summer

but Needs Compression so hes often Struggling

Futaba

paraphrase from p5d “i have no motor skills so i cant play rhythm games :(” need i say more? (i will regardless)

echolalia all the time, from anime, memes, the PT

those headphones she wears all the time? noise cancelling ear protectors babey

only talks about her interests, “normal” talking is Not Easy, but she is still communicative w others despite her worries. shes not “hard to understand” at all but she feels the anxiety nonetheless

only talks informally, cannot talk ‘politely’ with out imitating someone around her

shes had meltdowns and anxiety attacks in game :( i relate so hard

Technology. thats it

def had an egypt phase that pops up every few months. probably came from yu-gi-oh

has Immune to Bright Lights buff. joker is very jealous

“Time to make like a tree and leave!” and 30 other iterations

video game metaphors are the only ones that makes sense to her

probably relates hard to robot characters in anime for their general androgyny and confusion about human emotions and connections

probably gets told that shes “too smart to be on the spectrum” by teachers >:( she fails their classes on purpose

wakaba’s autistic too that just how it is

the Connection that she establishes with Joker is so Warm. my life goals include adopting an older brother like futaba has lsdkfjslkfj

also eater of 5 foods only, i mean, she brings cup ramen to the beach. i just really admire her...

hides in small spaces for comfort

doesnt she have like uhhhhh hyperthymesia or something like that?

Yusuke

art

his entire social link is learning how humans work, which i relate

talks seriously all the time

“sarcasm? who is that? are you saying I was sarcastic?...how?”

cant remember to take care of his body, and madarame did not help with that either

lot of uncomfortable staring, hes overdoing the eye contact thingy

infodumps all the time, doesnt know hes doing it

needs a lot of support even if he doesnt think he deserves it. no one ever complains about helping him out tho

visual stims my friends

he didnt know that you could look up pictures on the internet but he does know you can stream live videos of waterfalls and fluffy animales!!

I am certainly in the mood

for something salty today.

he and joker are scared of math. numbers do not interact

Yusuke, futaba, and akiren are a trio and i know this bc their first day of non-thievery interacts is Akiren clearing Futabas room w/o permission, futaba hyperfocusing on destroying medjed, and yusuke rearranging futabas figurines so they are more visually appealing

morgana is a support friend for all of them bc igor knows they need it

Souji/Yu

yes, he mostly wears gray semi formal clothes bc parents tell him to, no, he will not changes this

Schedule or Death

“sorry, could you repeat that?” “huh? oh yeah, i was saying that--” “yeah that’d be cool.”

cats, fishing, he just likes to be quiet. you can literally spend a day at the beach just to think if you want, and that is what yu want

has a lot of scripts for things (of which he shares with nanako!) but if he runs out he just stops talking..

inaba is a godsend bc its so fucking quiet and warm

he Yearns to hold his friends hands, but he shies away from a lot of touch (excepting yosuke, teddie, and nanako)

Cooking and Cleaning makes the world better. he and joker vibe together with this

unlike akiren, he strong arms any executive dysfunction into Be Productive or Else. his punishment is feeling the pure anxiety of having to make up for ‘lost time’. (another symptom of his workaholic parents)

writes everything down, notes are very neat, has pages dedicated for bad doodles when hes not feeling his usual Super Classroom Focus

Cannot handle secondhand embarrassment (most often caused by yosuke) and will quietly slip away to random cats or origami folding

hungry, crunch crunch folks. probably needs chewelry bc he used to chew on his shirt collars when he was younger.

cleans up after everyone in the food court, constantly worries about them accidently hurting themselves. likely spends half of group conversations watching peoples hands

he canonically eats expired food, nanako plz help your brother

really clumsy, but people only notice after they decide that he is a cool person

video games are too chaotic for him

exhausted every night from the pure amount of masking he does, if a friend spends the night (or is like yosuke) they will know his more comfortable weirdo self (tho everyone knows hes a weirdo eventually)

hyperempathetic, sometimes just understands animals and children better than peeople his age or older

Yukiko

her jokes

she and souji get in ‘trouble’ together, she and joker commit crimes together

she and chie have to coordinate outfits, its important

actually understands metaphors, but does not understand people

like me, had no clue that creepy kid was flirting with her

she is very angry when she has meltdowns that might involve slamming doors and shouting. her parents call these ‘tantrums’ and ‘unfitting for a polite daughter’ but really thats because her meltdowns tend to be caused by arguments w her family after a long day of school and TV world traipsing

the metronome meme, except hers goes between Loudest Person in the Room to Quietest Pin Drop in the Planet. she is completely unaware of this

her atmosphere brightens when chie appears. that is not only the lesbian energy within her, but also because chie is like her Favorite Person

Cannot wear Pants. No (tho she wants to try it! but she puts them on and her soul instantly squashes)

happy flappy lesbian! watch out!

Naoto

the pouty face. all the time lskdfjlasdkf

hes really snappy sometimes and i love that for him. he and akechi should fight just to see what would happen (please read Bang Bang Shoot Shoot on AO3)

“do not touch me or my hat, thank you”

no one has ever seen him shutdown and no one ever will (except for his grandpa)(and kanji)(and rise)

probably likes certain food textures and will stand for nothing less, probably feels embarrassed about his preferences with friends

constantly jumps between ‘everybody hates me so i should act like them so they dont hate me’ to ‘i refuse to be anything but very comfortable as myself, and i dont care that im making you upset sir’

he and souji are the king and queen of subtle stims, but for unhappy reasons :(

does not make jokes. cannot joke around. understand? yes, do? no.

loose clothes are the only good clothes, but all tags and obtrusive seams will be obliterated by kanji tatsumi

not very empathetic so he probably comes off as an asshole to strangers (like when he throws away his classmates confession letters without reading them) but he tries so hard to sound comforting when his buds are struggling.

his understanding of others emotions/reactions come from his learning as a detective, which seems cold+clinical to others, especially compared to souji, whos completely unexpressive but very introverted people person

Hamuko/Minako/Kotone

big personality!! very people-oriented!! koromaru and her are buddies!! when shes having a real bad time, shes very quiet and expressions turn off

interrupts herself in the middle of conversations all the time. no one knows where shes coming from. her brains is thousands of km ahead of her body

bouncey legs, swingin arms, twirlly skirt, little somersaults! when will she stop? never!

very obvious music stims with her hands and arms! people are like “oh there she goes! happy as usual!” shes listening to minatos heavy metal playlist

switches from exhausted to excited within milliseconds. no one can predict, not even her

SEES has to ask her for context all the time cuz she’ll just continue shit from 2 weeks ago without warning

professionals will assume shes very childish bc of how chipper she is, but she is beyond mature for her age and only feels comfortable enough to have serious conversations if a person has proved themself able to handle it

collects every little thing. her room is a mess and she has to get rid of most of it every time she moves :(

hates cleaning! smells bad, feels bad hhhhhgggg

dont let mitsuru-senpai see her bedroom

gets lost in the middle of conversations with others bc shes thinking about a story connected to one(1) word that was said earlier

no sense of time and place, she just sees her friends and goes “ah, this is the right place, then” but junpei and akihiko are also lost so now theyre all screwed

Minato/Makoto/Sakuya

no talkies, no walkies

his story in the movies is him literally learning how to function around people he cares for

doesnt get jokes, expressions, body language, empathy, subtlety, metaphors, physical contact, or eye contact. aigis is probably the only person he truly understands right away

he is still nice to people because he doesnt see a reason not to be, but also he has very limited energy so only his senpai and old people get his most polite-kindnesses

cannot describe feelings for the life of him. the team wont know hes injured or sick until hes passed out

everything is too loud, time to drown it out with my loud ass music

rocking and chewing stims, ryoji is the first person to point him out for these subtle stims (not accusingly of course, just general pure curiosity and love for the uniqueness of humanity)

likes to cover his face with whatever is available, lives like a bat in a dark dry cave

will wear anything that has pockets and his blue/gray/black palette

sleepy at all times bc he never has much energy

when he was younger he probably needed a lot of support, especially after his parents died, because he wouldnt communicate like a neurotypical and would shutdown for hours in the middle of school without warning. probably missed a lot of lessons and field trips out of pure overstimulation

eating at all times. no preference, just whatevers closest

his meltdowns probalby include humming whining noises and curling up in a ball, which makes people want to touch him, but that is the LAST thing he wants. put a blanket on him! play some music! do not talk and do not expect him to speak

aigis is the only person who can touch him normally bc her hands are cold and he likes cold

never nude, feels mmmmmmmmm without clothes and probalby wears a full robe in the hotsprings

will not do things that take more than one step w/o someone else walking him thru it, which Same

#my writing #p3 #p4 #p5 #persona 3 #persona 4 #persona 5 #ren #futaba #souji #hamuko #minato #vibes straight thru the sun #i sincerely hope the read more works #im so srry for grammar problems #i literally cant read rn

81 notes · View notes

radiorenjun · 4 years

Text

Hug. iv

Pairing: Liu Yangyang x Reader

Genre: Angst, Comedy, Fluff

Warnings: Swearing, Bullying, Attempt Suicide and mentions of self degrading, insecurities, anxiety, negative thoughts, physical injuries.

Looking from the perspective of Liu Yangyang, the boy who bullied a girl to the point she had a scar to burden both of their lives. He lived on with a heavy heart until he finally enters college and bumps into a girl with a familiar scar and the same tattoo on her wrist as his.

Chapters: iii, iv, v

Tags: @wonho-ssi @chuu4you @fullsun-haechanie @you-cant-spell-slay-without-lay @carefreebubble @uglyratlmao @harleyblaze

Yangyang walked down the halls of his school after he was finally dismissed from his class of the day. It had been a while since he came across his supposed soulmate, even then, his life didn't change much. The college life everyone was looking forward to didn't seem as interesting as Yangyang thought.

It was just like his life in high school. He saw a few of his old classmates around the halls and majoring in music didn't seem so exciting than his brother made it out to be. Speaking of his brother , he and Ten agreed that they both should start opening up more to each other just to spend more quality time.

"What?!" Ten exclaimed in the loudest voice possible. Yangyang flinched at the loud tone after confessing what's been on his mind lately. "You got into contact with Y/N L/N again?! That's great! What happened?! Did you two made up?" Ten slammed his palms on the table in excitement.

The bright smile stretched across his brothers face made the memory of his sad smile with bruised lip from back when he was still young flashed his mind. Yangyang winced at the memory before avoiding his brother's eyes.

Yangyang gulped down a chunk of egg yolk before continuing his story. "Nothing much happened, we just came across each other in the same building. And well..." Yangyang paused briefly, biting his lip anxiously as he tried not to eye the mark on his wrist.

"Well?" Ten waited for Yangyang to continue. Yangyang silently tugged on the sleeves of his baggy black hoodie down to reveal his soulmate tattoo, laying his wrist in the table. Ten's eyes darted from Yangyang's to his wrist in confusion before it all clicked.

"Holy. Fuck." Ten gasped, realizing what it meant. Yangyang shushed his brother loudly, putting a finger to his lips, making the sleeves of his hoodie fall down to hide the mark once again. "Ten, you idiot! Chenle's right down the hall!" Yangyang scolded.

"You two are soulmates?!" Ten squealed. Yangyang put his head in his palms in embarrassment, "dont remind me." he mumbled. "Thats-wow. I literally have no words, right now. So what was her reaction?" Ten asked eagerly.

"Well I- I didn't exactly tell her that. I don't think she knows. I don't want her to." Yangyang shook his head profusely, putting his hands in his hoodie pockets to clench his fists. "What? Why?" Ten whined. "Why? Why?! Oh I don't know, Ten, how would you feel if your soulmate is suddenly the kid who bullied you mercilessly back when you were 12?!" Yangyang snapped.

"Okay I get that part but this is your soulmate we're talking bout. They're supposed to love you no matter what!" Ten reasoned. "You dont understand!" Yangyang barked. "She's better off having no soulmate than having her old bully as a soulmate." Yangyang calmed down slightly.

"You don't understand, Ten. This isnt like your relationship with your soulmate. You didn't bully her when you were kids." Yangyang hissed harshly. Ten winced at the mention of his soulmate who had previously passed away.

"Dont bring her into this, Liu Yangyang." Ten snapped, glaring daggers into Yangyangs eyes. "She's your soulmate whether you both want it or not. Your her soulmate whether you feel guilty or not. When the time comes you two will eventually be together, that's how the world works. Okay, kid?" he lectured.

Yangyang felt the pain in his chest tighten. Sighing in defeat, he knew he couldn't battle with fate itself so he did nothing but nodded. "Okay." Yangyang sighed, unclenching his fists. Ten huffed grabbing his plate and walking towards the sink.

"Im sorry for bringing her into this." Yangyang muttered, he hated the thought of his family getting hurt.

"I was just-"

"It's fine. Just promise me you'll talk when something's bothering you." Ten said without giving his brother a single glance. "Okay, baby Yangyang?" Ten grinned, turning his head to his brother who gave him a frown. "Baby- Im not your baby. I'm going to college next month." Yangyang deadpanned.

"Still."

Yangyang walked passed the crowded halls filled with students. His eyes focused on the ground to avoid eye contact, it seemed as if his ears had blurred out all the sounds around him. He felt numb. Yangyang decided that he would walk by the park to get some fresh air before picking up Chenle from his tuitions.

Yangyang walked down the park to see the oh-so-familiar siamese cat that he and Ten rescued months ago, which ran away the moment it saw that Ten was carrying a bucket full of water to bathe the dirty thing despite Yangyang's protests.

"Hey, I remember you." Yangyang spoke softly, kneeling down to brush his fingers against the cat's thin yet fluffy fur. The small creature purred in response as Yangyang gently caressed it's head with his thumb, scratching the underside of its chin.

"How are you, buddy?" Yangyang smiled as the cat stared up at him. "What are you doing here you little rascal?" he giggled to himself. He was too indulged in the cat's hypnotising blue eyes to realise that someone had been coming towards him.

The person kneeled down infront of him, the moment their eyes met with Yangyang. The boy jumped back in surprise, "oh, Y/n!" his body tense at the sight of the girl carrying a small package of cat food. Y/n blushed at the sight of Yangyang, waving shyly before kneeling down to squeeze out some food infront of the cat.

Yangyang avoided her gaze when she patted the small cat's head before pulling out a notebook from her saddlebag, quickly writing down on it before showing it to Yangyang. His eyes widened slightly at the gesture, slowly taking the book in his hands to read what's written.

'Is Yumyum yours?' it read.

"Yumyum?" Yangyang asked, furrowing his brows before looking at the cat, not noticing the flushed look that spread all over the girl's face. "Is that what you name him?" he chuckled, caressing his fingers over the small creature's messy fur as he handed over the girl's notebook back to her.

"No, he's not." he replied, a small smile stretching across his face. "My brother and I found him a couple months ago all wounded. When he got better, he just ran away before we could give him a proper bath." Yangyang chuckled at the memory.

Y/n started writing down quickly on her notebook, the sound of lead scratching on the surface of paper filling their ears as they ignored the people around them. Yangyang looked up, getting a moment to look at his soulmate's appearance as she writes.

The sunlight reflecting on her eyes made it seem as if he was seeing stars in the night sky. Her lips formed into a small pout as she wrote, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Her hair framing her face, exposing her features.

He was brought back to his senses when he realised that y/n was staring back at him in concern, her fingers snapping infront of his face. "Sorry, I was daydreaming." he mumbled, attempting to avoid her gaze by looking down at the cat which was finishing it's meal. He could feel heat taking over his face as Y/n brought her notebook to his line of vision, gesturing for him to read it.

'Not to be rude but, what are you doing here?'

Yangyang let out a soft sigh, sitting down on the concrete with his legs crossed after he put down his violin case carefully on the floor along with his bag. "I just wanted to take a walk before I pick up my cousin from school, then this little guy caught my eye" he replied with a smile. Y/n nodded slowly, her mouth forming a silent 'oh'.

"What are you doing here?" Yangyang asked after a pregnant pause, intertwining his fingers together and laying them on his lap as he stared up at her curiously. Y/n bit her lip before writing down in her notebook once again.

'I started coming here every Friday to feed Yumyum. I like to have sometime after a long week of school.'

"Is being an art major that hard?" he asked, feeling his body relax as he continued to have a conversation with her. Everything felt as if it was meant to be. Y/n was surprisingly nice to talk to, even though she was slightly shy to talk to the person she hasn't seen in years.

Yangyang forgot all bout the tension between them. Her hand pushing against his shoulder when he let out a corny joke, his smile widens as she let's out a silent giggle against her palm. It felt so natural talking to her. As if they had been good friends their whole lives. As if he had never hurted her. As if it didn't feel like a punishment nor a curse to be bounded together by a mark.

Yangyang's eyes widened at the thought, his body tensed up immediately. "I-uh" he stuttered, grabbing his violin case and his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. His hand going over to his left sleeve, tugging it over his fingers behind his back as he stood up abruptly.

"I j-just remembered I gotta pick up my cousin." Yangyang stammered nervously, his heart felt heavy again as he avoided y/n's eyes laced with concern. "I-Im sorry. I h-have to go. I-I'll see you around c-campus," he bit his lip, avoiding her gaze before walking away as fast as he could.

He felt his heart ache as memories flooded his head. 'Shit,' he thought. Flashbacks of him pushing and kicking the young girl, his brother's bruised lip and the bullying he endured fluttered through his mind. He grabbed the waterbottle from his backpack, chugging down some water to calm down.

Yangyang sat alone at the table of the cafeteria like always, mindlessly eating his food. His eyes wandered around the room, gaze falling at the innocent girl with the scar on her lips smiling happily in a table surrounded by her friends.

He sighed at the sight of her, leaning his face against his palm. The sunlight shining on her form making her aura brighter as she let out silent laughs and scribble quickly on her notebook. It felt nice to see the young girl get along with so many people.

Yangyang looked down at his food, playing with food once again. He pondered if this is what life would've been for y/n if he hadn't come into the picture. He wondered if he would be sitting in the same table as her if he hadn't kicked that ball towards her.

Yangyang's thoughts were interrupted when he heard someone pull the two chairs infront of him, two boys filling in the empty spaces. "Liu Yangyang right? The German violin kid who's also in Professor Zhou's class?" the boy who looks as if he came from the sports department.

Yangyang raised his brow, nodding hesitantly. "Great, I'm Guanheng. You can call me Hendery, if you like. This is Xuxi." the other boy introduced, his forearm laying on the table as his other hand pointed towards his friend who waved with a toothy smile in response.

"In case you didn't know. We, too, are also in the same class as you." Hendery smiled. Yangyang nodded in confusion, not seeing why they're sitting infront of him, eyes wandering from theirs to his soulmate's form. "Look, we know that the music project could be done solo and all. But-"

"We need your help!" Xuxi slammed his hands on the table, making Yangyang flinch in shock. Yangyang's eyes widened in surprise before sparing a glance at y/n who was still calmly communicating with her friends.

"What do you need my help for?" Yangyang spoke, raising his brow as he meet their nervous eyes and awkward smiles. "We wanted to do a duet for the project. Then our dumb asses realised we can't play instruments for shit." Xuxi explained.

"So you need my help to be your instrumentals?" Yangyang questioned, raising his brow. "Yes," the two boys said in unison, letting out similar cheeky grins. "Why should I help you guys exactly? I don't even know you guys that well." Yangyang went on.

"He's got a point." Xuxi mumbled to Hendery, only to get shoved by the shoulder. "Come on, we could be your friends! No offense, the table seems empty." Hendery smiled innocently. "I'm good," Yangyang mumbled, going back to his food with his eyes occasionally glancing back at the girl a couple tables away from them.

"Come on, we'll do anything!" Lucas nagged. "Yeah, what you want, Liu? Money? Cheat answers to the exams?" Hendery went on. Yangyang couldn't be bothered to even consider a word they were offering, for he was too busy gazing into the radiant beauty that is his soulmate.

"Yangyang? You listening?" Hendery asked once he realised Yangyang wasn't listening to a word he said. Both boys turned their backs, following Yangyang's eyes to the girl in sight. "Ooh," Xuxi grinned, giving Hendery a knowing smirk.

"Wow man. Didn't know you'd be the type to like someone other than your soulmate but I'll do the job for you-" Xuxi stood up from his chair, causing Yangyang's eyes to widen in panic. He stood up abruptly and reached out to grip his shoulder to stop Xuxi from taking a step further.

He watched as the girls began to stand up and leave the cafeteria. Yangyang let out a sigh of relief before glaring at the two boys, "dont you dare talk to her. I'll join your group, just-" he paused with a click of his tongue. "Just don't talk to her." Yangyang growled, pushing Xuxi's shoulder away before picking up his bag and gripped the case of his violin, leaving without another word.

He jogged out of the cafeteria, ignoring the two boy's loud voices of questioning when to meet up to practice for the project. Yangyang slowed down once he felt like he had gone far enough from the cafeteria, taking small breaths as he walked down the hall.

He stopped when he saw a familiar girl sitting all alone in a table with a pencil hanging on the top of her ears, a ruler in her hand and a piece of paper in their other. Brows furrowed in concentration, tongue slightly stuck out.

Yangyang smiled to himself at the sight of how cute she looked, leaning to get a better look of her expression. But he was soon interuppted by a male stepping into his line of vision, he looked around his age. "Who are you?" the male spoke in a rude tone.

Yangyang took a step back in surprise before stuttering out, "I-I just came here t-to talk to y/n." The male raised a brow in suspicion, frowning as he crossed his arms. "What? Are you like, her friend or something?" he asked.

Yangyang didn't know how to respond. Was he her friend? Or was he still that same bully in her eyes? "I-" he was cut off with a click of the male's tongue. "Thought so," the male then rudely shut the door to his face, leaving a baffled and flustered Yangyang standing in the hallway in confusion.

Yangyang ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He couldn't get this note right for tomorrow's solo presentation, he took a long sip of his Americano, clearing his throat before starting to play once again.

The sound of his violin echoing through the small room, once again. Yangyang's tired eyes never wandering away from the music sheet displayed before him. His mind concentrated on the notes to realise that a girl had walked into the music room.

The sound of a chair grinding against the tile caused Yangyang to jump back in shock, looking back in relief to see y/n placing the chair back to its original place. "Y/n?" Yangyang raised his brow in confusion. "What are you doing here? Curfew's in half an hour." Yangyang asked.

The girl smiled, quickly writing in her notebook and shoving it to the distressed boy's face.

'I was done with my assignment for today, I was heading back to the dorms to hear the beautiful melody of a violin. What are you still doing here?'

Yangyang bit his lip slightly, smiling up at her shyly. "Same here, I just kept getting these notes wrong. I need to get them done before tomorrow," Yangyang explained, scratching the back of his neck with one hand and pointing at the music sheet displayed with his bow in the other.

Y/n nodded, looking around the music room to observe the instruments around them. Yangyang put his violin back in its case, trying to ease his heart rate as he felt his heartstrings being tugged with every movement the girl made.

His left wrist ached to touch hers, but occupied it with tidying up his things and putting them into his case and bag. "Um, I'm closing up soon. You wanna walk back to the dorms together?" Yangyang asked hesitantly, swinging his bag over his shoulder as his eyes wandered to his feet to avoid eye contact.

Y/n nodded, walking out of the room, clutching her notebook in her hands as she waited for Yangyang to lock up the room and walk down the halls together. There was an awkward tension in the atmosphere around them as they didn't know what to talk bout.

Yangyang gulped internally, putting down his violin case as he closed the door, turning the key twice and ensuring the door is locked. Yangyang didn't notice y/n's eyes wandering curiously down his tall form, how his hair was tussled and messy from his fingers running through it I'm frustration.

How his lips were plump and sucked in between his teeth nervously. His freshly dyed brown hair. The baggy sweater making him look casually aesthetic. Y/n knew it's wrong to be looking at her friend like this, especially if Yangyang had a soulmate.

Speaking of soul mates, y/n's eyes wandered down to Yangyang's wrist. The long sleeves of his sweater barely covering the black ink mark staining the skin of his left wrist. Her eyes widened as she spotted two balloons, similar to the ones on hers.

When Yangyang moved away, y/n look up at his eyes which were filled with nervousness. He coughed lightly to release the awkward tension, "let's go." he mumbled shyly, turning to walk to the direction of the dorms before he was held back by a small hand wrapped around his forearm.

Yangyang's eyes widened as he looked back, looking down at the fingers gripping his white sweater tightly as to not make him leave. His eyes hesitantly looked at her own. Yangyang felt like he was going to melt at the sight of her eyebrows furrowed cutely. "Y/n?"

The hand that was on his forearm went down the his wrist, right below his tattoo. She lifted it up, tugging down the sleeves which made Yangyang's eyes widen. "Wait, no-" he stuttered out, trying to tug his wrist out of her grip before she could see the mark.

Unfortunately, he didn't realise how hard he was pulling. With the sheer amount of force he applied to pulling back his wrist, he made the girl fall forwards to the floor, eliciting a small broken hoarse squeak from the girl. "Oh my God, Y/n," Yangyang gasped out, realising his mistake.

His heart clenched. Once again,that excruciating feeling in his chest appeared. He couldn't make himself move to help you get up and once you do, you were looking at him with such concerned eyes, his guilt increased tenfold.

"I-Im sorry, I have to go" were the last words Yangyang stuttered out before sprinting out of there. Trying to go somewhere to clear his clouded mind, leaving his soulmate standing there in confusion. Yangyang took a deep breath as he barged into his dorm room, not caring the questions his roommates bombarded him as he quickly went to his room.

'Life couldn't get any shittier'

A/n: hey! This took me so long forgive me for the delay. I'll probably release the next chapter sooner than later so keep an eye out for that. Sorry for those who waited for so long for this lol. I realised its 12:40 AM and I'm on 10% and there's a chance that I have a quiz tomorrow that I have not studied for. Wml

Btw

#hug.#yangyang angst #wayv yangyang #nct yangyang #yangyang x reader #yangyang #nct angst #nct wayv #nct x reader #nctzen #wayv angst #wayv #wayv x reader #wayv scenarios #wayv au

100 notes · View notes

dietpunks · 3 years

Text

never on here but i decided i need a place to rant where i dont have to worry about many people seeing it.

admittedly, this year has been one of, if not the worst year of my life.

so much pain, anger, tears, questions.

i lost the love of my life in may. not fully, but she doesn’t know what she wants or needs anymore and it hurts because i thought we would end up living forever together. i know i should just leave it alone completely and try to move on, but it’s so much harder than that. i have given so many chances, more than i can give, and as much as i dont believe in new years resolutions for myself, i have to be strong for myself and decide that this is the last chance. i have about a week until i see if it’s worth it or not. i’m hoping because it sounds genuine, but then again, so many times before did too... i wish my heart didnt feel like this anymore. i just want to be loved really hard by someone who will love me really hard. if that’s her, awesome, if not, i’ll learn to find it in someone else if they happen to come along. no matter how hard it is. more importantly, i need to keep up with the love i have for myself.

it’s not much, but i have honestly been working so hard on myself and loving myself. i haven’t really had a choice, i’ve been alone with myself for far too long it’d be impossible not to love what i have done for myself. i’m thankful for that, especially because for so long i’ve been told that i’m “too emotional”, “too sad”, “too hard” on myself. i’m doing this mostly for myself, but also i know myself too well to know that i’m also doing this to prove everyone wrong.

manifestation is a beautiful thing. the universe and i have become good friends, same with the moon and the stars. i live alone now, so whenever i’m feeling alone or upset, i bundle up and go outside to sit behind the bushes and talk. (it helps to smoke while i’m out there too)

i’m thankful for my cat, jinx. he’s my best friend and only roommate. he’s the sweetest boy i could ever ask for... i can’t even begin to count the times i’ve cuddled closely with him while sobbing and have to brush the tears out of his fur. he loves me so much, and i love him so much. i would genuinely take a bullet for this cat.

despite everything, i have 3 close friends now. well, they’re really my only friends. i have no idea where i would be right now if i didnt have them this year. i don’t think i could’ve made it this year without them. thing is - i don’t even think they know it.

the gold lock, given to me by C, with her matching set of keys. the pink hair dye on my arms from r’s hair and tattoos we’ve done together now with r+l. the sleepless nights and ****-induced daydreams and a target parking lot in a city 2 hours from home in the very early morning. so much more can be said, but i know that these are the friendships i have been waiting for my entire life.

i went to the u.a.e. to live with my dad for about a month (following quarantine and guidelines of course, wouldnt have traveled if my life didnt depend on it) and it was a wonderful reset, but coming back to this town always makes me feel like someone is stacking concrete blocks on my head, one by one, until i either get crushed by this place beyond repair, or until i’m trapped in the cement beneath my feet and forced to stay here. i don’t want to, and i’m making it my ultimate goal to get the absolute fuck out of here as soon as possible, as soon as i’m ready.

recently i’ve started asking myself 3 questions everyday and i plan to stick with it to see if it really helps.

• “what did you do today for yourself?”

• “what did you do today for others?”

• “what did you do to make the world a better place today?”

i try to make sure i can answer all 3, and if I can’t, i’ll try to make it happen before i go to sleep.

on a more triggering note, if for whatever reason anyone is reading this shitshow of a rant, tw!!!

i’ve dropped so much weight this year, due to multiple things, but thankfully not due to an ed (anymore). not intentionally at least? i’m convinced there’s something wrong with my body, but tests and bloodwork and things have shown nothing much so far. it’s making me angry at this point, because i’m sick of everyone asking me if i’m st*rving myself, if i’m eating, blah blah blah. yes, i’m fucking eating when i can or when i actually have an appetite. what do yall not understand? if i eat when i dont have an appetite i will make myself so fucking sick. my body is rejecting anything i eat when i’m not hungry. there’s nothing i can do about it which is why i’m asking for help and cant seem to get it.

~ tw ends ~

on another note, i need to go to my therapist and/or psychiatrist asap. i’ve been told already things that i should be diagnosed with and yet no one listens long enough to help me treat things other than my panic disorder and depression. i get that they’re bad and i’m glad i have things for it, but what about everything else??? i’m suffering trying to navigate things without any guidance or help, and no one gives a single shit. it’s fucking sad.

i just want to be happy and loved again.

9 notes · View notes

q-u-a-c-k · 3 years

Text

rant that you can just skip over 😂 it's just detailed intrusive thoughts. and I'm continuing to rant about literally everything that goes through my brain so I am here writing this and not acting on thoughts or being stupid.

okay so this is a note from after I have written all that. and basically it's complaining and ranting about everything and hyperfixating on space and science in the end. in the middle I talk about my fears of love 😂 potentially triggering stuff? it's all nonsense you really dont have to read it. it was just to keep myself from doing something I shouldn't. so if you could be triggered by literally anything maybe dont? idk. I cant stop you but it's probably annoying and not interesting. if anyone does read it though let me know if I need to tag it anything.

So my brain has now decided that because there is no way I am sleeping tonight unless it's exhaustion, I get intrusive thoughts. fun! so rn it has been fixated on the fact that because I am closest to the outside. not hall door. that I could easily sneak out. which is very much not good idea, because 1) I dont live in this area, 2) it's still cold as fuck outside at night, 3) I would literally fucking get lost or caught immediately. So yeah :) I dont even know what I would do if I did go and I don't want to because I have an idea of what brain would say and that's a big no. it's especially big no because I'm too comfortable with the idea of it but I'm not allowed to. and I guess now it's kinda good because brain is thinking about how I miss my cat. I just wanna see my baby and be in my safe place with the people I'm actually comfortable with (cat and phone with online friends) like guys he's so fuckung adorable and what if he doesnt know why I'm not there right now. usually he sleeps in my room at night. so what if he's in my room waiting for me and I cant go see him. you're damn right that I'm crying about this. i just want my baby because he is my baby and an indicator of a safe place.

also I am so incredibly fucking uncomfortable. like I cannot sleep because 1) in a place I do not know 2) there are people (family) in the room that I am not comfortable letting my guard down around 3) there's so much noise from snoring (and from one sleep talking) 4) I am on the couch because when we go places I'm always the one who has to and it's a shitty pull out bed couch. it makes way too much noise that I have been in an uncomfortable position for over 3 hours because I dint want to disturb anyone else. and I can very easily feel like of the metal bars under the middle of my back 5) I am very cold. I forgot a blanket and I didnt get one because the room only gave us one extra one (I dont think we're supposed to have an extra person) ad my sister got it even though I'm the one by the outsid,door, window, and air conditioner which wont turn off. I at least have my flannel though to cover my legs 6) my head hurts so bad because it's the kind of headache that hurts to have eyes open, breath, or move around in general 7) my stomach hurts so bad because I had to eat because apparently people get hungry and are supposed to eat along with anxiety from literally all of this 8) I have not gotten to be alone for more than 10 minutes since the middle of Wednesday whereas usually I spend almsot all of my time alone (with cat and phone with online friends) in my safe place. 9) I have not stopped crying (not really like crying crying but like there has been tears or water from my eyes because for some reason they burn and some because of anxiety or missing cat. 10) I keep thinking that at any moment I close my eyes someone is going to break into the room or one of my family members are gonna do something (I literally dont know what, that's intrusive thoughts talking but I have previously freaked out because I thought they were gonna aliven't me for no reason) 11) When I'm somewhere I'm not used to I get really bad muscle cramps in my arms and legs and I am not having fun with that.

sorry that was a shit ton of complaining that nobody should have read or give a shit about. so sorry if anyone actually read that?

also Allison, if you actually do read this (istg you really dont have to. like I said this is just my train of thoughts written to prevent me from doing anything. I am not watching wandavision until later today 😂 and I am staying off the discord server I joined becuas of potential spoilers.

anyways continuation of rants and complaints. I really want to put the phone down and attempt to sleep even though I know I'm not gonna be able to and for that reason I have to write here because I do not trust myself with my brain being like this rn. but I wanna put phone down so bad because my eyes hurt and my head hurts from having eyes open.

and I really wanna just get my earbuds out and have controlled noise and potentially fall asleep but that would take noise louder than them to drown them out but any noise already is hurting my head and earbuds sound really uncomfortable right now.

also I'm starting to get really cold again because the flannel was working for a little but I think that was because I had to move a little bit to get it out and on my legs and I haven't been moving.

also my sister (sleep.talker) has been just making noises and mumbling all night except just now she went "eww" and rolled over and continued snoring and sleeping. so that's fun. totally didnt scare me.

oh my God it's fuckung almost 3:30 I just wanna sleep. at this rate I dont care in what way it happens, but I want sleep in the next 10 minutes so I cannot be aware of how uncomfortable or in pain I am.

my back (which usually already has back pain) connot stand to lay on the bar in this position anymore so I have to move but it's so loud and I dont wanna wake anyone up or move into a worse position but feel bad for moving.

I have now moved and I dont THINK I woken anyone up. back is better but head hurts so much more now because of movement and I am now laying on my knee which I have a lot of problems with and am not having a fun time.

idk what to talk about. I want sleep or to at least put phone down but like I said multiple times I do not trust my brain rn so I have to keep writing stuff. and I dont want to just keep complaining but idk what to talk about and complaining is easiest rn because I was out in an uncomfortable situation by coming with them and I didnt want to in the first place but would not be able to stay home.

I am now gonna talk about sleep and my thoughts about it. I like being asleep but I also dont. I like being not awake but most of the time do not like the dreams I have. but sleep itself is such an interesting concept. like the body forces itself to shut down and put you unconscious to like rest itself or repair before continuing to function. and it's like (supposed to be) on a specific or close to schedule. like youre supoosed to have a schedule for when you're unconscious. and this is completely normal. a part of our society is actually shaped around this too? like at certain times around the world it gets all dark and the world goes quiet for a while. idk I just think it's really interesting. maybe it's not idk lmao.

and now brain wants to talk about how and why I am afraid to love. :). brain is afraid to love because that means I have to be vulnerable to someone and that's just so terrifying to do, especially being someone who is different than a lot of the heteronormative society. like I absolutely love my friends. and once I'm comfortable around them, I'm gonna tell them that I love them as much as I can (but also dont want to make them uncomfortable). because if I finally feel comfortable enough around you to be vulnerable and accept that I love you despite brain's overwhelming urge to say I don't and be invulnerable and safe, I'm gonna tell you that as much as I can that I love you. because it literally happens so little in my life that I actually really trust someone. so if I tell you I love you I mean it (and it tells you I trust you). like seriously, I barely even say it to my mom because I'm so on guard and trying to watch my back around her. and I dont think I say it to the rest of my family. unless it's my grandparents I'm gonna tell them that because I think I do just in a different way of your my grandparent and you're family. and I occasionally say it to my irl best friend because there's still a lot I'm on guard about because I haven't told her a lot of things so we're not as close as you'd think. but if you're reading this I have probably told you i love you. and i know Allison i tell you as much as i can because I think yyou'rethe absolute top person that I trust and love, so i try to tell you a lot. because I love you!! you're like my entire found family 😂

but now we're gonna talk about reasons why I'm terrified to be in love romantically. Because I dont think i have actually liked someone romantically or really ever be romantically interested in anyone. I have thought about it because I felt like I had to tell myself I was ( I was not). like i thought I had a crush on someone once but I think it was because I was unable to be their friend at the time that I wanted to be their friend even more. and because I never really got to pick my friends I didnt know what it was like to actually want to be friends with someone. but thinking about someone romantically I just cant really do. because I don't want to get into a romantic relationship if I don't know if I'm gonna like them romantically at all. do people like people romantically when they first go out with someone? or do they just say I kinda like this person let's try it out? because that just doesnt make sense to me and idk. and it could very well be that I'm just to young to know yet. because I still dont even know what I would want from a romantic relationship. like... Idk what there is for me to want or what's different to loving your friends besides calling them something else? and the whole having to trust that this person likes you in a specific way that you might like them before you take it far enough and get hurt because they just don't feel the same? or you're the one that's not really sure and potentially hurt someone else? I know people say it's just a risk you're gonna have to take but I dont want to take a risk like that. I dont mind being hurt from it myself but in terrified at the thought that I could potentially hurt someone because I just dint feel a certain way. and I still dont know what the difference is between friend love or romantic love to be able to judge or risk that? like seriously what is different? because I mean, maybe affection like have someone to hug or cuddle? but you could do that with friends and it should be a normal thing to have with your friends. but ig this still is a fucked up society that thinks everything has to be more than what it really is. and it just leaves people touch starved because of it. idk. maybe one day I'll figure it out, but how it's just Greek and foreign to me. idfk.

well that was fun. now it's 4 and I need something else to talk about because even if I do potentially fall alseep soon, I do not want those to be my last thoughts and possibly have dream about it (dreams for me are typically not good).

I think I see the moon. it's either a moon or a parking lot light. and I know the moon is either full or very close to full (I'm pretty sure it's just very. close) but I wish all of those lights outside were off and possibly have a new moon so I could see the stars. I love the stars so much. i love the moon, too, but right now it's very bright. but I wish I was more into astronomy and knew more about it. because that's also something that's very interesting to me is space and the stars. I wanna be someone who knows about all of the constellations. but I have a horrible memory and absolutely would not be able to remember 88 different stories. although I'd want to. even though most of them or a bunch are just Zeus being a dick. but more to the science side of the stars is so interesting to me that they're soooooo far away. like they're literally incomprehensibly far away. like I cannot comprehend how big a football field is without see one, I'm agine being able to comprehend the distance of light years? like I know we know how far it is but I'm pretty sure human minds cannot comprehend how far that ACTUALLY is. even if we know it's a LOT. and isnt it cool how we're able to know there are other planets outside of the solar system? I believe it's 4 different planets that we know of that are MORE inhabitable than earth. like better to live on. and they have either older or stronger stars that wouldn't die out as fast as our sun. although there comes the debate of if we should be able to go to them. it's a very debatable question, but I think overall the answer would be no. because humans have fucked up an entire planet, why should we be allowed to do it to another? like it realize it's literally a percent of humans that fucked it up for the rest of the planet, but humans have an inner need to have power over everyone else and other things and would stop at nothing to get what they want. humans could so easily become corrupt and destroy other planets too. it's kind of a fucked up thing to say, but I feel like maybe humans should die out with our planet. like of course it's not fair to the ones who haven't had the chance to live a life yet. but it was never fair to the other creatures humans killed for their own needs. like we have caused extinction several times. karma will get you back in the end ig. and it would be cool to know but obviously we wouldnt be able to know, if a species even smarter than humans evolved and kept the peace on earth, even as the ruling species? ruling sounds wrong but idk what else to call it. whatever we are above everything else is what they would be. but it would be so amazing to know what smarter beings are alive or could eventually live. like that's so fucking cool.

anyways I should probably try to sleep or put phone down because now brian doesnt have time to let me do anything I shouldnt. it's 4:30 😂 someone is probably gonna wake up soon because idk.

1 note · View note

faythelyse · 4 years

Text

Joji x Reader {female reader} Apocalyptic Setting <Part One>

The sound of your closest friends baby jolts you awake. You had fallen asleep sitting up in a chair near the window. You stand and stretch for a moment before walking into the kitchen. Jessica meets you at the doorway to the kitchen.

"We're officially out of food." She bounces her daughter on her knee.

"Alright, I'll grab Ashlee and we can hit that up this place we noticed coming back from our last haul. It looked like a department store or something. I have an extra cheese stick in my bag if Jade is hungry."

Jessica knods and sighs. You knew saving that cheese stick was a good call. After grabbing the snack for Jade you head to the garage where Ashlee was working on the truck we scored a few months ago. Ashlee notices you enter and slams her hand on the top. "We still need some gas for this bad boy!"

"No time like the present to go look for some?!" You add expecting a negative response.

Ashlees face turned sour. "We're out of food."

"Yep. You going."

"Well of course, but we just went on a trip 3 days ago. Those rations were supposed to last a week. Jess eats like a fucking pig." Ashlee starts throwing her gloves off onto the desk and prepares a bag for the emergency food trip we are underprepared for in all honesty.

"How much ammo do we have left?"

Ashlee sighs heavily "We were low last trip. We might have 5 or 6 shells left for the shotgun."

"And the handgun?" You interject.

"Fifteen." Ashlee finishes packing up leaving the shotgun for me to take. "I'm gonna take a smoke break. Meet me out front when your ready to roll." She puts the cigarette in her mouth and walks out.

Grabbing the gun you quickly head for your room to gather the essentials. Outside Ashlee was taking the last drag off her cigarette before flicking it to the road. I stare at the bikes in front of us wishing we had gas for the truck. "Jesus christ I hate these bikes, I'm wore out by the time we get to wherever we're going." Ashlee smiles. "Soon Y/N" Ashlee closes her eyes and daydreams for a moment. Imagining life with a car again.

About halfway there we stop and scout a bit. Make sure no one is out and about before we pull closer into this town.

Right on the edge of town we leave our bikes locked to a tree behind a small abandoned house. It was a soft pink color. It somewhat stood out making it easier to remember where we left our things. We chat quietly while making our way to a large department store.

The store was huge. The sign had fallen partially. A corner of the building was also caving in. Jessica, never going out on many supply trips didn't always realize the danger she put Ashlee and I in on a somewhat regular basis. Although we have become better at it over time.

As we arrived at the doors we became silent. Searching for any possible noises or animals that could get us in worse trouble than we were already putting ourselves in. Instead of going in through the front we found a side door that appeared quieter to open. Upon entering we were stunned to see lots of stuff still on the shelves. Why had this store not been hit so badly by looters. Shocked by the nostalgia and childlike joy we let our gaurd down. We casually walked down aisles and shared past memories that seemed insignificant then. We would give anything to be able to visit a store normally again. Buy a new dress to wear for date night or some shit.

"Holy shit, they have mother fucking WINE!!!"

Ashlee was almost in tears, and I couldn't contain my smile. We packed as many as we could. We still needed room for actual food.

Just then we both heard a single gunshot so we dropped immediately to the floor as quickly as possible. Readying our guns we slowly get up and sneak closer to the back of the store where the gun had fired. There is a hallway that leads back to the bathrooms and what I assume might be the head office or the workers lounge area. We see a shadow at first emerging from the hallway. We aim thinking it could be one of the infected, but it was just a man. He pulled out a walkie telling someone on the other end he's fine. Ashlee and I are frozen for a minute. We hadn't seen people in a long time. Hell it's even been awhile since we've seen an infected. They have been sparce lately. Probably just spreading out more. Although we weren't a very populated area anyway. Ashlee whispers "What do we do, ignore them?" I shrug not knowing myself. It would be risky to assume they are friendly. And if they were to rob us we would be left with nothing. Another man runs up, he has a large backpack on. Ashlee and I locked eyes for a moment. We had the same idea to potentially rob this man. I shake my head. "Maybe they will trade?" I whisper.

Ashlee shakes her head in disbelief that they would consider trading. We had not glanced back at the men for a minute, when we turned back to check on them they were gone. I turn back and shrug, if they were gone then we had no further issue. Ashlee and I nod knowing we should get a move on and wrap this up before we get spotted. While crouching we slowly walk around the nearest aisle where we are met face to face with the two men we had just spotted. Both shocked we all immediately stand, but none of us draw a weapon. After a solid 30 seconds of no speaking just staring I speak up

" We really just need to grab some food, we won't be any trouble." It was then that I noticed one of them was injured.

"You're hurt?" I said softly. Ashlee also softened her expression when she noticed the wound. Ashlee broke her silence as well, "Y/N is a healer of sorts, maybe we can help."

Ashlee and I are both suckers for wanting to help. The man with big sad brown eyes looked at me with some hope.

"Can you really hel-ehp" he stopped abruptly and grabbed the wound on his side that started to soak through his thick green coat. I couldn't tell the severity of it, I didn't want him to die though, so in the moment I just decided to say yes. His friend went alongside him to help support him. "My name is Ben" He proceeded to shake Ashlees hand and then my own. "This is George, nice to meet you. We were here looking for medical supplies, if you could help us out we would pay you back some how. Whatever you need, I promise. We'll work it off."

"I'm not a real doctor or anything man. I just started learning this stuff since the world went to shit. I've practiced on dogs, and cats, a few humans. Nothing too crazy. I've become pretty decent at sew up jobs. I just promise to do my best to help. If something goes wrong I just cant have you blaming me."

Ben smiled "Listen, its not like im going to find some heart surgeon out here. Anything you can do to help is better than whatever I could come up with."

Ashlee walks up to the other side of George and throws his arm over her neck. "I'll help walk him to the bikes."

I nod and quickly grab everything i can that is edible, even found a few seed packets. Elena will be stoked to add these to her garden.

We biked back to our little community that cosisted of 2 houses that have been conjoined by fencing in the two. Its somewhat protected by being hidden in the many trees that surround our community.

Jessica was sitting smoking outside. As she saw us pull up with two strangers she looked worried. I held up my hand to show her everything was okay and waved. We brought George in and laid him in a spare room we had set up for me to work on anyone who had been hurt. There was no bed, only a futon mattress had been laid on the floor.

"Set him down gently." Ben whispered.

Ashlee had a worried expression, I could tell she was worried about the blood loss. He appeared paler than before. I sat down and started preparing my equipment as fast as possible and urged Ashlee to grab some other things I needed.

As I neared being finished with sterilizing the needle I told everyone to leave the room. I can never concentrate while people watch. I had assumed George was knocked out when I reached down to start removing his jacket he grabbed my wrist.

"This is going to fucking hurt isn't it." He breathed. I nodded. I had nothing to numb him. Then I remembered the extra wine Ashlee and I had discovered. We had grabbed six bottles. I pulled out a bottle and handed it to George. He glanced it over.

"For the pain?"

"For the pain." I said as took it back from him to open it. After opening I asked if he would like a cup.

"Bottles fine, lets get this over with." He started to shrug off his jacket exposing the large gash on his side. Hopefully he hadn't punctured an organ or something I couldn't fix.

He took 3 large drinks and motioned for me to come to him. I started cleaning the wound to the best of my ability with what we had. It was time to start sewing. Sewing still makes me nervous.

I was ready to pierce skin when he interrupted.

"Do you have anything to bite on?"

I took the belt that was around my waist wrapped it up and handed it to him. He bit down and nodded to show he was ready.

I started and his eyes rolled back into his head, I kept going. I wanted this to be over as fast as possible. He started making a few small shrieks here and there but he was toughing it out rather well I thought.

As I was getting to the last few stitches his hand found my leg and grabbed it tightly. I felt horrible for causing him so much pain.

I started to just mumble I'm sorry over and over again until I had finally finished. His head fell back onto the pillow in exhaustion and agony. I leaned up and pressed my hand to his forehead and face and apologized some more. Trying to gauge how well he was actually doing. I stopped myself and realized I needed to finish by covering it with a bandage. I grabbed clean cloth from the cabinet and bandaged him. I look at him for a moment. I should grab his friend and let him know I've finished. He probably wants to wait with him until he wakes up. As I struggle to stand back up George's hand grabs mine and squeezes. I squeeze back giving him reasurrence, and leave to confront everyone.

Ben steps up to me immediately as i exit the room.

"What's the damage, is he cool? Are we good?"

I could tell he was nervous about the answer.

"I'm not sure yet honestly, he's all stiched up. He's also still alive and lucid which is a good sign. It's going to take a long time to heal. Maybe a month or two. It also needs to stay clean and free of infection. I recommend staying here until he's fully healed. Ben seemed pleased with my answers "Can I go see him now?" I nodded and he rushed in.

Ashlee pulled me to the side. "You reccomend they stay for two months?"

"Yes, that was my recommendation. He was hurt prerty bad, he shouldn't be moving at all for atleast 3 weeks. I think we should just chill. As long as he heals well, we could use their help."

Ashlee crosses her arms. "This is risky, but Im with you. It's nice to have new faces around."

"I agree" I smile, feeling slightly better that I may have saved someone's life.

#jojixreader #x reader #fanfiction #joji #f #female reader

5 notes · View notes

pumpernickel-simswood · 4 years

Text

To All The Strays I've Rescued: Pt 3

Okay, last chapter for the night. Again, tw for domestic and child abuse. Also, I want to make the disclaimer that Gabriel isn't less of an abuser for only being emotionally abusive up til Chat Blanc. Emotional abuse is as real and harmful as physical abuse. Again, please read with caution. @hellolovelyscientist

Part 1 Part 2

Adrien didn't react immediately, just continued holding onto her, his face pressed into her shoulder.

"Are you gonna tell your parents?" Adrien asked, muffled slightly.

"About carrying you across rooftops? Absolutely not. They'd have heart attacks and then I'd have to run the bakery all on my own and that'd be a disaster in and of itself." Marinette replied.

"No, er, I… I mean about, y'know, me?" Adrien said.

"Well, to be perfectly honest, Adrien, you haven't told me what's going on. And I have assumptions but I'm not going to spread misinformation to anyone." Marinette said, "And more important than that, I want to take care of your injury first, okay?"

"Okay…" Adrien muttered.

"Adrien…"

"Hm?"

"I kinda need you to get down so we can get into my room…"

"Oh!" Adrien all but jumped out of her arms, "I'm so sorry!"

"N-no, it's okay." Marinette laughed awkwardly and opened the trap door to her room, "C'mon, let's go inside."

"O-okay." Adrien nodded.

***

Marinette had him sit on the chaise before she started scouring her room for her first aid kit.

"I told you I'd get her if you didn't." Plagg told his chosen.

Adrien glared at him, whisper-hissing, "We could've managed without burdening Marinette and potentially revealing my identity, Plagg!"

"You didn't eat enough before you ran away, kid. I wasn't going to just watch you starve to death." Plagg hissed back. "Besides, your friends were going to notice the fact that you'd up and disappeared sooner or later."

"Maybe they would have, but that doesn't mean bringing Marinette into this mess!" Adrien glowered.

"You trust your Princess, don't you?" Plagg crossed his arms.

"Of course I do, but that's not the point!" Adrien nearly growled.

"Found it!" Marinette declared.

Plagg flew over to her. She canted her head and he whispered something to her. She rolled her eyes with a fond smile and waved her hands a bit as she replied. Plagg made what was clearly a snarky comment and she laughed.

The laugh filled Adrien with a warm, fuzzy feeling he was unfamiliar with, but it felt nice.

"Alright, go back to Kit before you get in too much trouble." Marinette shooed Plagg.

"Aww, you do care." Plagg snickered as he flew away.

"Alright, finally, to patching you up." Marinette smiled, settling in front of him and opening up the first aid kit.

"Wow, uh, that's a pretty professional first aid kit." Adrien breathed. He'd seen it once before, but it looked like she'd added more to it.

"Yes, well, Cat Noir is as injury prone as I am and since we're friends, I figured it'd do my anxiety good to be prepared for the worst, y'know?" Marinette picked up some bruise ointment. She bit her lip, "This is probably gonna hurt a bit. Do you want to do it yourself or do you want me to?"

"I…" Adrien felt the familiar weight of his kwami settle into his shirt pocket and closed his eye with a deep breath, "Could you please? I'm not sure I'd apply it very well."

"Okay." Marinette said.

There was a moment before a cool substance came in contact with his bruise. He bit down a whimper as it was rubbed into his incredibly sore bruise.

"I know, I'm sorry." Marinette whispered, "Almost done."

Adrien almost nodded but instead managed an "O-okay."

Marinette did finish shortly, as promised, and Adrien let out the breath he'd been holding. He opened his good eye too. Marinette closed the kit and put it on the ground.

Their gazes met. Marinette's eyes filled with tears. He opened his arms. She lurched forward, wrapping him in a tight, protective embrace. He returned the hug.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you." Marinette whispered.

"You don't even know what happened. I haven't told you…" Adrien murmured into her shoulder.

"And you don't have to. All that's important is that you're safe now." Marinette breathed.

Adrien felt tears slip past his defenses and he choked out a sob into her shirt. Her arms tightened around him, bringing him even closer. The sobs came easier then and he clung to her, letting out his pain from over… well, over his whole life, really.

It felt like hours as he sobbed and clung and wailed. But Marinette kept him close, a protective shield against the rest of the world.

Part 1 Part 2

#ml fanfic #tw child abuse #child abuse tw #tw domestic abuse #domestic abuse tw #abuse tw #tw abuse #nobu writes 2019 #nobu writes #to all the strays i've rescued #to all the strays I've Rescued pt3

54 notes · View notes

brideylee · 4 years

Text

Anti- Fan Fiction: James Woods and Robert Blake at Dan Tana’s

The air inside is hot, full of dust, and too many rotting mouths had ordered the lasagna. James Woods sits in his corner booth at Dan Tana’s in the main room with his eyes on the bar full of shouting men in suits. Some are West Hollywood slick fratties and others more smelly and introspective in itchy tweed from the land of 70s character actor city. Squeezed in between these men taking up more space than needed with either their narcissistic sadness or their loud, cologned bravado are some young women desperately trying to enjoy a martini at the historic restaurant, but instead are resigned to hear a bald someones life story and feeling many passing hands needlessly touch their bare backs as men hover and spill around them.

Woods watches disgustedly, he watches everything disgustedly: babies being born, the sunrise, an elderly woman saying “Hello, Deary”. It all makes him sick. His belly protrudes forward as he holds back a sudden burp and he releases some air through his famously skeezy lips as though exhaling cigarette smoke. He is repulsively sexy in his stony confidence. He checks his watch and decides to complain about something. Dead eyed with his arm stretched out, he points at a maitre de who is pushing 90 and is only meant to be looked at by tourists as a part of the ambiance. The command of Woods pointing hypnotizes the ancient man and he walks over in submission thinking this could hopefully be death itself beckoning him home.

Woods gives him his iconic half smile, where one side of his mouth stays in place while the other curls up his cheek as though being lifted by a fish hook, his head tips forward and his round dark eyes look up at him like an alcoholic father who “doesn’t want to have to discipline.” “Hey sarge, the bread is a little chewy, mind popping it in the microwave or something. I could break my teeth on it. And heat the butter up. It’s fresh, its just not soft.” Woods gets bored with himself half way through his criticism and winks at a woman at the bar whose glance regrettably fell on him. The maitre de with no capacity left to hear, nods and takes the bread away, disappointed to still be breathing.

Woods spots Tim Allen alone in a four person booth holding up a plate to his face, licking it feverishly. They lock eyes and give each other big, knowing smirks, like two people who both know where the body is. Allen gleefully goes back to lapping up the rest of the marinara, grease all over his chin, his napkin bib coming into good use. “Funniest man in America” Woods thinks to himself before being distracted by some plastic cleavage walking by.

Suddenly, the air in the restaurant cools as the door wafts open and a small shadowy figure enters with the silhouette of a miniature cowboy. “Finally.” James Woods says as Robert Blake plops down across from him “Are we angry?” Blake says defiantly with his headed tilted back, his lids hanging low and heavy across his beetle eyes. “There is this thing called time, Robert. I’ve been waiting here an hour.” Blake laughs with a childish grin crossing his face, and somehow in the smooth red lighting of Tana's, he looks twenty years younger, though still disturbingly gaunt, and getting more pale by the minute like a man whose only sustenance is the unease he inspires. He’s wearing a black velvet cowboy hat that looks too big for him, making him along with his small stature appear like an elderly child. “Time!” Blake regales with impish laughter as though hearing an old joke he hasn’t heard out loud in years. Woods stews, his eye twitches and he chews on the inside of his mouth. Blake’s laugher continues, even Tim Allen interrupts his slurping to peak at where this sinister chortling is coming from.

After a few minutes, Blake calms down and stares at Woods lovingly. “You were always funnier than me, Woods. Never give that up, you can fall back on it.” Blake was full of these little jabs, always insinuating that Woods acting career never amounted to anything. Rehearsing a hurtful father son dynamic was one of the only ways these men could show their love. “How’s the old lady?” Blake is referring to Woods’ twenty-two year old girlfriend. “Driving me nuts,” says Woods gazing off, then he leans in towards Robert. “In all the right ways.” He winks at Robert. “Pet a pussy cat on the head too much, and they go bald.” Blake warns. Woods blinks, confused. He had a love-hate relationship with Blakes morsels of wisdom. On one hand it’s why he enjoyed his company so much, on the other hand, Blake had a way of making him question everything, particularly Blake’s sanity. Woods decides to change the subject.

“Some shrimp cocktail I ordered us an hour ago. They might be too dead to eat.” He slides an ornate glass rimmed with withered shrimp in front of Blake. All the ice inside the glass is melted and the shrimp look like they know how pathetic their fate is. Blake knocks all the shrimp off the edge of the glass towards the center and gulps them down like he’s taking a shot of vodka before going bear hunting.

“So, what do you make of this 'Covid 19'” Woods puts Covid 19 in air quotes and his head bobbles with cocky indifference. “It’ll go away.” Blake states between sips of the shrimp water. “Everything goes away, James.” Blake studies the menu. “Not quite Vitello's…” James didn’t want to get into a Dan Tana's versus Vitellos fight tonight. For one, Blake hadn’t been there in decades since he took his wife there before having her killed and more than that Blake was just biased because Dan Tana's never named a pasta after him. Woods lets it slide, he understands the irrelevancy Blake feels to the modern world and the pain of being pushed farther and father back inside Hollywoods skeleton closet.

Yet, although Woods sees Blake as an oracle, his secret virus fears remain. There is a social distancing trend hyped in the media and a possible impending lock down for Los Angeles; a city full of the most insecure egos on the planet. A city that needed to love, use, and discard people so regularly that the notion of a lockdown seemed to go against its code of conduct. Furthermore, Woods cant stand being in his house with his girlfriend for more than three hours, two if there was no oral sex involved, but even worse is the idea of being alone.

His anxiety is spiking as Blake with half glasses on seemed completely engrossed in the menu, ignoring him just like his old man. Woods dips into the pocket of his blazer and dabs his pinkie into a tiny bag of coke, neatly putting it away and rubbing the gums of his front teeth expertly discreet. Blake raises his eye brows. “They’ve got a chicken named after Sidney Beckerman. Did you know him?” Woods shakes his head, and gestures to a waiter to bring more water with an agro snottiness only he could pull off. “He produced Kelly’s Heroes. Good guy, but I never liked him.” Blake starts singing “Que Sera Sera” by Doris Day under his breath, while perusing the menu like it’s a gun catalogue.

Woods patience runs out, he blows a long grey hair out of his eyes and grabs the menu from Blake. He smacks a passing waiter on the back with the menu. “We’re gonna split a plain cheese pizza with a side of spaghetti, and two Roy Rogers. And lots of grenadine for this one right here.” Blake smiles like a school boy brat, pleased.

“So listen, have you been following it at all?” “Following what?” Blake says with a gentle, Warhol deadpan. “The virus horse shit… Robert, they’re saying that we all need to go into isolation. That it’s airborne.” Blake whips the red napkin into his lap. “Get a hold of yourself. Will you? Fear is airborne. Do you know how many motherfuckers, here, still believe in Lincoln?” Blakes shifts were dramatic. Sometimes, he felt like you were talking to a screwy relative of Yoda and other times he had the grit of a dried up cowboy that had made love with Joe Pesci.

“FUCK YOU! NO!” The volume of Tim Allen shouting into his Motorolla razor silenced the place for a good twenty-seconds. “500 million dollars in CASH or you can take your Santa Clause 6 and…make Santa Clause piss!!” The manager started a clap to diffuse any tension. After a smattering of applause, the place went back to normal. “Can I get a big brownie?” Tim Allen screams towards the kitchen like a kid at his grandparents house.

Their Roy Rogers are placed on the table. Woods is sweating as the coke is hitting, and he can feel his phone vibrate with texts from his often pilled out girlfriend. Texts like “Can you remind me where the refrigerator is?”

Blake raises his glass, admiring the red flesh of the maraschino cherry and the slow dance of the grenadine syrup descending towards the bottom, surrendering to him like a wounded lover. “Cheers! May we remember to lock the doors and make the baby swallow the key.” They clink glasses. Blake does a long exaggerated gasp of refreshment, his tongue wagging out of his mouth for a long time.

“Woods, what do you think it was that got in the way of your success?” Triggered and high, Woods replies, coke speed with spit collecting at the corners of his mouth. “Well, I think it was a lot of things. Particularly, that I am a man who values his freedom of speech and I don’t like my rights trampled on by so called “progressives” and you know I thought I was pretty good in Ray Donovan, but I really wasn’t given much of a script, but, ah, fuck.” He wipes his forehead and collects himself. “Blake. I have a serious question.” They stare at each other. Blake has a gravelly distance between his soul and his eyes, but something in Woods reaches him. Their cheese pizza and spaghetti ruptures the eye contact, but Woods can’t give up.

“Say there is a lock down, and this virus is serious. I can’t be alone with the kiddo for that long, you know what I mean? I need a friend. Someone I can pal around with. Someone that gets it. Man to man. Blake, do you think we can live together? Either at the Ranch in Burbank or my place, wherever you feel the most like you can be you.” Woods heart is racing, this is the most vulnerable he’s felt since since the scene in The Virgin Suicides after his daughters die.

Blake stares at him coldly and takes a bite of pizza. “This virus frightens you.” Woods frustratedly digs into the pizza, his heart; a little more vacant, and confused. “Don’t worry.” Blake reaches into his pocket and takes out a vile of clear liquid and places it next to the spaghetti. “I got a cure for that.” Woods examines it. “Is this-“ “A vaccine” Blake says satisfied. “One sip and everything goes away.”

“CHANGE OF PANTS? PLEASE, CAN I GET A CHANGE OF PANTS” Tim Allen roars with a lap full of chocolate brownie. His face and khaki pants are covered in chocolate. But Woods stays transfixed on the vile. “Where the hell did you?…” “We had to make vaccines during breaks on Little Rascals. Bastards always put us to work any way they could. Learned a thing or two though and this one is special… everything goes away. “Have you used it?” Woods asks, his head cocked to the side, watching the liquid float like the clear lip gloss his girlfriend….Kelly? Katy? wears. “Used it plenty of times. Plenty of times.” Says Blake with the resigned faith of a Southern preacher.

“Well, even so, if there’s a lock down, can I bunk with you? Forgive me, you’re single now, right?” “I’m dating, but nothing to write home about," the eighty-six year old answers. Woods looks up from the vile, expectantly. “Listen, kid. My space is sacred. It’s between me and God. I don’t know if you think I can get you a bit part in something or…” “No, I just would like your company that’s all.” Woods assures him. “A man who can’t sleep alone, sleeps while awake. Take the vaccine. You’ll be free.” Woods leans back. Blake always cuts him open and leaves him smelling like the chicken broth that seemed to emanate from Blakes pores. But that’s often the medicine Woods needs. He uncorks the vile, holds it up dramatically,“Salud!”

Allen is standing in his boxers by his booth with his arms crossed waiting for the waiters to bring him pants while Woods finishes the last drop. The blood red walls moist from poor insulation seem to pulse around Woods as Blake stares at him. “Hows it feel?” “Like…uh..like nothing. I mean… like it was water, a placebo?” Blake giggles shaking his head.

Pants-less Tim Allen walks over to their table. “Hey Robert! I haven’t seen you in ages!” They high five. “You know me, keepin’ busy back at home.” Allen turns to Woods, “How ya doing, bud?” and then turn backs to Blake. “You know you’d be perfect for the next Santa Clause movie. You haven’t been in any of them yet, right? “Not yet!” “Well, right on,Cowboy!” Allen and Blake high five again. Woods gets dizzy and starts blinking slowly trying to steady himself. Perhaps taking a vaccine manufactured by Robert Blake was not smart, he didn’t know for sure. He barely knew anything. “Woods, isn’t it time we scroll through our imdb pages?” Blake baits him with their tradition. Woods nods and types his name into his phone. “I love this game! Can I play?” Tim sits down.

Woods can’t focus his eyes very well, but he has typed his name into imdb four times and nothing is coming up. Tim Allen can’t help himself “Ok, so this is a show I was on where I played like a handy man…” His mouth hangs open as he excitedly awaits the men to guess what show. “Garfield.” answers Blake without sarcasm. “It’s not working….” Woods interrupts. “Whats with your friend?” Tim Allen asks annoyed. Blakes eyes don’t leave Woods who is squinting at his phone. “Ok, I’m a dad and a handyman…” “My credits are all gone.” James’s voice seems to morph an octave lower the walls seem to run into the leather booths and booths seem to melt into the floors and drip into the basement where a drunk couple are fucking among cans of tomato sauce.

Woods psyche seeps further into the earths crust, mantle and then core where he watches his entire identity burned in the furnace of mother earths blazing kiln. Alone with himself. To Allen and Blake, his body sitting at the booth looks like a prosthetic suite empty of an actor inside. “The vaccine works.” Blake thinks to himself sipping his pink drink through a straw. Allen whips his head from Woods to Blake and in his classic broad Tim Allen way says “Uhh, am I missing something???”

4 notes · View notes

faunusrights · 4 years

Text

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 22

IN THIS EPISODE OF SURPRISINGLY TENDER TENDERNESS:

It had her soul by a hook, a barbed arrow digging into her flesh, gouging her bloody the more she tried to escape it.

JUST KIDDING

okay i’m just gonna HOP RIGHT IN if u dont mind me cause we in it now and i DON’T have time to catch you all up go read the fic!!!!!!!!!!!! DONT ASK ME SHIT

A direct line suited her better. From up here, with only the rain between her and the sky, the path ahead was so clear. The tether was a straight line.

a gaydar so refined it comes with its own overlay. sweet.

the planet below her resisted, no matter how she insisted

even when she persisted?

She pushed, and the force released like a broken dam, propelling her body away from the unyielding world beneath it—she leapt, high into the air, and it was like flying. With huge bursts of Aura, she cushioned her falls and leapt again, from rooftop to rooftop, making a straight line across the city.

can u imagine yr in umbraroot having a grand old time minding yr own business and then u see Very Famous Tenured Professor of Beacon Academy, Glynda Goodwitch, pinging herself across the sky? nobody would believe u. do u think it’d b on the news.

The rain fell hard. It was pitch dark. Glynda had the phantom of a scent: like the last breath of a campfire before it died, like a kinder version of the acrid stench of Grimm, Cinder’s trail was clear as day to her. She was getting close; she could sense it, like blood on the wind.

ISNT THIS NOSTALGIC,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, wow. its like glynda’s abt to ruin vale’s infrastructure all over again,

If Cinder was in a fight, this rain would muzzle her. Glynda remembered it vividly: how frustration tainted Cinder’s face in Forever Fall, how her fire sputtered and died. Even Cinder would lose her edge here, in this cold downpour. If she was in trouble—if she—

remember when glynda realised this for the first time and was like ‘hoho’ only now its made a thousand times worse because u have a crush emotions r hell and yr in the soup now!!!!!!!!!!! YR IN THE SOUP NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She almost ran right past Cinder—might have missed her entirely, if not for the painful yank at her own soul.

did cinder just hit the ground like a wet grape

“Don’t touch me!” Cinder’s voice was raw. She snarled the words out like a cornered animal and lashed out with one arm, hitting Glynda’s hand away. The other arm was limp, still tucked to her chest.

BE GENTLE WITH KITTY,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, lure her ass out w/ some shrimp on a string,

She shook like a frightened fawn under Glynda’s touch, ratchet tense and wholly spent of strength.

i cannot even describe how many of these scenes i am seeing so vividly in my head and my GOD do i wish i were better at sequential art cause i want to draw them ALL........................ I WANNA DRAW OUT THIS WHOLE THING!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

god i cant like. TALK ABT THIS SCENE WITHOUT COPY-PASTING THE ENTIRE THING BUT AAAAAAAAAA god. GOD. i just. phew. PHEW. its REAL TENDER. GLYNDA PICKING CINDER UP LIKE A LIL GRAPE AND wait diesel is this the thing you drew art of. diesel. diesel look at me is this that art--

Her fingers bunched in Glynda’s shirt. They were drenched and cold and Glynda hurt so much inside for her—whatever had happened to Cinder this night had destroyed her, that much was clear.

/sips drink see if i were an asshole id say hoohoo the karma but as i am not i say only this: babey 😔

If they recognized her name, they were determined to act normally when arranging the room she asked for.

“hey didn’t we just see her ping across the city a couple of hours ago--” “greg don’t even ask”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Cinder mumbled. “Leave me.”

“I won’t.”

ough,,,, directly in the kokoro i see

The shower was a collaborative effort; Glynda inspected for injuries while Cinder sat in the tub, warm water pelting down on them both.

other slowburns when they share a shower: hoohoo,,,,,,,, the tension,,,,,,,,, the s k i n offal hunt: what if you got in the shower with yr ex-enemy,,,,,,,,,, to inspect her wounds,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and you were both girls 😳

Glynda gently roused her own, pressing a tender flow of it through her palms, offering it to Cinder.

Cinder’s Aura was hollow and hungry. Her soul lapped up everything it was offered. Cinder leaned back slightly, like that would help the boost go through faster; or maybe like all she wanted was a kind touch. She didn’t look back. Slowly, the various cuts and scrapes that littered her body erased themselves.

i am loving this mirroring which you probably already guessed but im like wriggling in my chair abt it all,,,,,,,,,,,,,, THIS GAY SHIT. FUCK YEA. FUCK YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEA

She turned off the shower and stepped out, gathering up the biggest towels she had found, bundling Cinder up in one and fluffing her hair again. This time the white towel came away clean. Cinder peered out owlishly, her face a far healthier color despite the purple bruising that remained around her eyes, telling plainly of her weariness.

OKAY straight up that description is so cute i physically clapped a hand to my mouth and went ‘AWUGH’ because BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! B A B Y

There was a gulf between them in the hotel bed.

It wasn’t at all like their nights at Cinder’s house. This was closed off. Distant. A thousand questions and answers hung unspoken in the air, heavy like the rain clouds themselves. The two of them were warm and dry, but not much else. There was little comfort to speak of.

see the real slowburn experience is having progress and losing that shit again. we take one step forwards and two back. u get the HIGH and then u get the real low but rn i hope cinders round face smiles once again. nobody who looks that baby like should ever b so sad and thats a fact 😔

Cinder, in her sleep, started crying again. It came and went in disconnected pieces, until she finally cried herself awake, startling out of her dreams.

i sent this crying cat in response to the update announcement but i never knew how real it was until now

again there’s a whole ass section where i cant pick one bit cause its ALL good but GOD this fucking. whole silent conversation theyre having. OUGH. THE SOULMATES.

When Cinder didn’t answer the question, Glynda held one arm out, lifting the blankets between them. “Cinder.”

Glynda didn’t know which surprised her more: that she had offered, or that Cinder accepted.

OH???????????

She settled quietly, face pressed into Glynda’s collarbone, her breath flitting warm over scar-marked skin. Glynda’s arm, curled around her back, weighed her down. Cinder did not hold on to her in return. She was folded up around herself, fitting into the space Glynda had made for her, taking to warmth and shelter like an abandoned child.

OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;w;

also whuh-oh:

The fear was eating her alive, and bit by bit, her skin seemed to unravel, every layer of her body sloughing off into just meat, rent through by that light—it felt like teeth, like destruction, like being twisted apart in some giant’s hands like an insect having its wings pulled out. It held fury like she had never felt. She quailed before it, and it bared its teeth, black tar and grave-rot spilling from between yellowed fangs.

Glynda tried to close her eyes, to look away, to run away, but it seized her like a bear trap sinking its jagged teeth into the wrong prey, snapping a much more fragile deer bone with ease. It sieved her being out from between her ribs, drinking only the cacophony of her soul, lapping up every part of her inheritance—all the while she was fighting, struggling helplessly in its grasp, her mind mere shatterings of bright-red pain, with only slivers of meat and fragments of bone remaining of her body—torn apart by lances of sunlight, burning like fire, a dawn that came with the sound of a scream.

firstly: 👈😎👈

secondly: do i gotta say how i love how visceral this fic is? i say it like in every liveblog. BUT IM SAYING IT AGAIN FOR GOOD MEASURE. IM SAYING IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was coming. It would destroy her. With ease, with relish, it would tear her still beating heart from her chest and discard it, offal from the slaughter—and then it would dig deeper still, to draw out of her that very engine that kept her moving.

is this the closest we’ve gotten to an almost title namedrop?

Glynda stared through the darkness, seeing nothing, but knowing without a doubt that her gaze pointed north like a compass.

HRM............................................. I N 👈 T E R 😎 E S T I 👈 N G

THATS CHAPTER 22 BABEY. it was VERY good. i mean rip cinder’s whole ass but i do love her. i love this evil baby. i also love glynda picking her up with all the effort of picking up a bag of crisps,

#rwby #offal hunt #liveblog

6 notes · View notes