I have never wanted a period so bad in my life 🕺🕺🕺🕺

do you consider your self made?

OK SO NOW THATS ITS LIVE. SOME THOUGHTS

With the (I believe) return of Ink5oul everyone’s favourite ominous NB tattooist, I thought it was so neat how we got another instance of a tattoo that was imbued with power. The description of it reminded me a lot of how OG Mag uses the Leitners:

We’ve still got terrifying powers written in ink. We’ve just changed the canvas. TMA is ink on paper. TMAGP is ink on skin.

Its been ages,,, i missed them

I've been thinking about how Lambert, Eskel, and Geralt all deal with the trials and how it shapes them into the people they would grow to become.

Lambert remembers his past. He is angry, upset, bitter, and vindictive. He's got this fire in him that is only stoked by the pain and suffering forced upon him. He remembers the boys who did not make it: the hell they all had to go through, and he has a complicated relationship with Vesemir that surrounds it. Lambert does questionable things that Geralt is bothered by in his grief and anger. Geralt calls him out for killing in cold blood, needlessly and mercilessly.

Lambert avoids Vesemir at Kaer Morhen and mocks him when he is not around. He may come off as childish and like an asshole, but Lambert knows what he feels. Lambert doesn't lash out because he can't control his emotions or because he doesn't understand the path of least resistance. He knows. He chooses to avoid conflict with Vesemir at Kaer Morhen by keeping out of his way. He knows he can't control his emotions effectively if he is face-to-face with him for too long. He knows, and he isn't stupid.

Lambert talks to Geralt about the trials and the injustice of it all. He probably looks up to Geralt, hoping his brother feels just as angry about it as he does. He went through the Trial of the Grasses twice for Christ's sake! Why is he not more angry? Why is he so apathetic?

And Geralt brushes him off time and time again. Such is life, is his attitude. We all went through it, he says. Geralt can't be upset because there is nothing he can feasibly do about it. He didn't choose to be a Witcher. He wouldn't have chosen this life. He would have some other job somewhere else, just like he told Regis. He can't change the past. He can't go back and fix something he never had control over in the first place. Besides, they can’t inflict the trials upon a new generation of kids, not anymore. It’s in the past now, so why dwell on it? What’s done is done and thank god no other kids have to suffer the way they did. It’s over. It’s time to move on.

Geralt doesn't enjoy fame. He tells Eskel this in To Bait a Forktail. Geralt is the famous twice-grassed White Wolf. He is The Witcher. The famed Geralt of Rivia. He has expectations piled upon him the size of mountains. He's got to be the perfect Witcher, he's got to be a loyal brother, a lover, and a best friend… Geralt had expectations put upon him that set him aside from the rest since he was a kid. He hates it. Underneath the banter and the wit, Geralt accepts that this is his life, but that doesn't mean he likes it. He tolerates it because it is his reality and nothing more. If he thinks about it for too long… maybe it will consume him.

"You remember her?" he asks Eskel about his mother.

Unlike Lambert, Geralt hardly knows what it means to live another life. He doesn't have that following him like it does with his brother. What little he remembers is not enough to erase the apathy drilled into him at such a young age. Maybe he has a more strict moral code than say, Lambert, (or if you want to bring in the other Witcher schools, most of the Cats and the caravan) but that doesn't make him the most ethical person on the Continent. How could you be? After all that he has endured, the things he was taught? Where do you draw the line? He kills monsters, but like in Velen, it's hard to see where the line's drawn in the sand.

Humans are monstrous too.

Eskel, however? Maybe he's jealous. He did everything right, why shouldn’t he be? He is superiorly skilled in magic, one hell of a good Witcher. He has a reputation for it. Maybe he's not as kind as your average person, but he gets the job done. He's got a more relaxed demeanour than his brothers which reveals itself in his reputation. He's reliable. He is damn good at what he does. So why does Geralt get all the attention? The fame? He clearly doesn't want it.

While Lambert got turned into a vindictive prick and Geralt became a quick-witted nihilist, Eskel? He's exactly who he should be. Why shouldn't he be praised for it like his brother? Why should he be forced to bend over backwards to accommodate people and keep up with his reputation? For what? His skills? Ha! He lives in the shadows of Geralt who's notably a good Witcher, but he's not quite as good as Eskel.

Eskel was beaten shaped into the man he is today because of the trials, his training, and everything else. Should he not get credited for that too? Why does someone who doesn't even want his fame get all the recognition? Genetic predisposition? Shouldn't his hard work be given more consideration and praise? Thank god Geralt survived the hell of being subjected to two rounds of mutagens rather than one, but why should that overshadow the efforts, the time, and the sacrifices that everyone else around him has made? Eskel is exactly the man that they intended him to be by the end of it all. He is an efficient hunter, he is outstanding with signs, and he works diligently for his reputation. He did everything right. He does everything right. Why is that not enough?

TL;DR: Lambert, Geralt and Eskel handle their traumas in different ways. Lambert gets vengeful, Geralt gets apathetic, and Eskel gets borderline jealous. (And it breaks my heart)

girljamie to go with girlroy ... i'm of two minds when it comes to s3 girljamie , i am both in favor of big chop AND she leaves it long but lightens it still... idk. bangs be upon her either way ig

(more of richmond's women's team can be found here <3)

This scene has such a hold on me it’s unreal.

CW: ROTTMNT the movie uses flashing lights and similar visual effects.

Para verlo in Español.

sending lots of love to my fellow gamer nonbinaries. i hope we can enjoy these victories full of love and support and that transphobes rot in hell <3 you are real, you are enough and what people think of you does not matter. also long live clove and venture and all of our few but loved nonbinary characters that exist and that will come to exist in the near future <3

Drawing from class two weeks ago, prof was introducing us to photoshop because not everyone had used it before, so those of us that were already familiar with it were goofing off lol

Small update; I have recently been given courage to come out and say that this blog will be temporarily put on hold. I'm not falling behind in my studies per se, but they've become such a massive source of stress that I can't focus/don't have time to draw for myself lately. I can confidently say my mental health is the worst it's been since last year; guilt for not talking to people and for not being more active on here is eating me alive, so I think it's best if I take at least one of those pressures off of myself.

When I'm back I'll likely have some classwork to show off, and maybe if the stars align, some personal drawings too haha. Until then, I'll still be somewhat active on my alt (@dawntheduckrb) and might even post some doodles there, so feel free take a peeksies if you want :D (posts are all over the place there though, so don't follow if you don't want dash clutter lol)

Sorry for any worry I caused; see y'all in May :)

Guys the huddy breakup scene fucking me up so bad What thefuck. I KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN BUT I STILL. I

GOD ITS JUST SO CRUEL FROM HOUSE'S PERSPECTIVE? AND I UNDERSTAND WHY CUDDY DID WHAT SHE DID BUT WE'VE BEEN WITH HOUSE THIS WHOLE TIME AND WE SAW HIM IN REHAB!!!!!!!!! AND WE SAW HIM DETOX AND WHAT HE DID TO GET BETTER AND CUDDY JUST OUTRIGHT STATING THAT SHE DOESN'T THINK HE CAN BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN AN ADDICT IS FUCKING HEARTWRENCHING?

Like i genuinely love cuddy soooooososososo much so much,,,,, i know the truth always hurts no matter what hoops you try and jump through but god its fucking heartwrenching. Its an absolute gutpunch when you take into account everything house did to try and become more than a miserable misanthropic vicodin-addicted bastard. And then one of the only two women he's ever truly loved tells him that his best is not enough. House could jump through rings of fire but it still wouldn't be enough because "that's just how you are." "I can change. I can be better." "I don't think you can." Dude im fucking heaving man

LIKE ITS LOGICAL!!!!!!!!!! ITS UNDERSTANDABLE!!!!!! BUT THE THING IS THAT THE TWO SINGULAR PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO LOVE HOUSE UNCONDITIONALLY (WILSON AND CUDDY) ARE THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF THOSE ADJECTIVES WHEN IT COMES TO THEE GREGORY HOUSE!!!!!!! ENABLERS BY DEFINITION ARE IRRATIONAL AND ILLOGICAL AND I THINK ANOTHER REASON WHY THE BREAKUP GRABBED ME BY THE BALLS AND TWISTED IS BECAUSE I GENUINELY NEVER COULD'VE IMAGINED CUDDY WOULD SAY THAT? I COULD JUST BE IN DENIAL?? BUT FOR CUDDY TO COMPLETELY END THINGS WITH HOUSE AFTER HE RELAPSES A SINGLE TIME AFTER GOING DRUG-FREE FOR OVER A YEAR WAS GENUINELY UNTHINKABLE TO ME? LIKE UNIMAGINABLE

God its fucking me up so bad. Its just fucking me up so bad. The only woman you've loved in 10 years tells you outright that your best will never be enough and there isn't a thing you can do about it. That your flaws and your vices are inescapable and inseparable from who you are as a person. Who you are as a person is why she can't bear to be with you. You do everything and it's not Enough Gggod DUDE

And god the fucking parallel between the s6 finale scene and the scene that follows after cuddy ends things with house. Dude i cant even talk about it like ill actually throw up (is gonna talk about it) HOUSE IS IN THE EXACT SAME POSITION House is slumped against his bathtub orange bottle of vicodin in hand and staring at his palm where two white pills lie. The scene exactly parallels its predecessor and both you and house almost hope they both end the same way .House looks at the doorway eyes swollen and red but no wilson no cuddy no one comes to save him from himself and he forces the vicodin into his mouth like a man sentenced to be publicly hung wounding the noose around his own neck. The stark parallels between the two scenes are just fucking me up so bad god man i dont know. I sound like a youtuber rightnow but i am genuinely just so absolutely ruined and need to find solace.......................... I know theres no rationalising this kind of thing but do u think house truly is inseparable from his vices........... Do you think he could've been the life partner cuddy needed without leaning on drugs.............. I know house got better i know he can be better even without the aid of vicodin but is there a universe where gregory house could ever be enough for lisa cuddy. God idont even care anymire im throwing up part of my lung

.

i keep feeling like venting so much recently but i keep thinking that my freinds would think its their fault or theyre making it worse but litearlly i feel this way cause of me just me being stupid and fucking crazy and being my own biggest fuckign bully and hater

plus i really want to stop burdening everyone here and on twitter and my friends and moots or whatever with my stupid fucking vents i feel like such an annoying bitch of a burden and this feelings been going on like so consistently everyday for the past month self deprication jokes and talk is litearlly so unfunny im just being annoying and stupid

i thought i was getting better yesterday before i slept but that fuckign feeling is back again as soon as i fucking wake up

god this is so cringe and such a new fucking low for me imagine people saying that they love you and everything you make but being so stupid and fucked enough to litearlly be your own hater and convincing yourself to not believe any of it and let it affect everything in your life I'm never good enough for myself and never will be however hard i try

imagine not knowing the worth of your art like a crazy person

Thinking abt ice king sm rn

I have been thinking about this for so long I just need to share this:

Hear me out: Scarland. 

It’s the opening night for Scarland and everyone is excited! They’ve all seen how amazing the whole park looks from the outside, they’ve seen the attractions Scar has been working on and they can’t wait to try them all out. 

The hermits that could make it are here, waiting for Scar to open the park.

And he does. And the hermits are having so much fun. The attractions are colorfull and- oh. something is wrong.  

Oh no, the hermits thought those were actual theme park attractions? One by one, the hermits become more and more aware of what’s actually going on.

Scar smiles to himself as he hears the screams of his friends as his torture devices do their job. 

I love villains. And Scar would make an excellent villain.

two very different flavours of suit donnie...he prefers the right one

(i havent drawn anything for at least a solid month. help)

I’ve been having a rough day, but I know you definitely feel worse

Here’s some tomato soup and grilled cheese.

and ibuprofen

hope you get better

yous are so sweet, i can't believe people care so much. thank you, i hope your day has been nice or improved. [9/10]