I want to write I want to make girls be weird about each other in MY word docs I want to have creative projects and goals againn :/

Could you do the bros trying to woo their comically oblivious crush? Like the boys are trying to drop hints but SO just does not pick up on it unless the boys straight up say something like “I want to kiss you. On the mouth. Romantically.” (I just get a kick out of the “oblivious love interest” because I also don’t understand subtle hints lol)

This is sooo me. I’m Autistic so I miss when people are flirting with me 😅

Also you’d be surprised how many people how already done a Chocobros with a oblivious crush.

I almost denied this request because so many have done it already but why the hell not?

Here we goooo!

Noctis

He doesn’t know how much patience he has left. Your a lot more clueless than he thought...

He’s tried to flirt with you, but you just don’t pick up on them! He’s getting a bit frustrated.

“Is she/he/they doing this on purpose?!” he thinks.

Eventually, He turns to Ignis for help.

Ignis suggests that he should just straight up tell you how he feels.

It takes awhile but he finally builds up the courage to confess to you.

He invites you to his place and you curiously walk inside, unaware of what’s gonna happen.

“Noct... you said that you wanted to talk to me about something, is everything ok?”

Noct thought for a second before starting.

“Y/n...I really like you.”

“Aww! I like you to Noct!”

He annoyingly sighed.

“Seriously?” He said annoyed.

That caught your attention. Why was he annoyed?

“What’s wrong Noct?”

He turned to you and sighed one more.

“I have feelings for you.”

“I-

“I’m IN love with you Y/n.”

You were so shocked. You literally had no idea!

“Noct I-

“It’s fine. I know it’s sudden and probably weird and-

You stopped him mid-sentence and held his arm, tightly and lovely.

“I love you too, Noct.”

Poor baby. Frozen up like a scared kitty.

But it worked, so it was worth it.

“Me too Y/n.”

Prompto

He’s always had a thing for you but you didn’t seem to noticed.

Not like it was completely your fault.

Prompto has a very bad habit of self sabotaging himself, before he can tell you how he feels.

Until today!

He invited you to a photo shoot at the river and you were the model!

You were so excited to be his model but obviously, he planned to confess his feelings to you.

Once you both reached to the river, Prompto awkwardly turned to you and tried to make conversation.

“So uh... pretty weather today eh?”

“Yeah! Perfect day for pictures!” You smiled.

That smile. That smile he fell in love with.

He started blushing hard and you noticed it.

“What’s wrong? Are you feeling ok?”

“Oh uh..y-yeah! I’m just uh damn.” He swerved away. Ashamed that he failed again.

You didn’t understand what was wrong with him but you wanted to help him.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Uhhh..” Oh my god, his face was red as a tomato.

“Listen, I don’t know what’s going on but I want you to know that it’s ok if you want to talk to me to about it. I’m all ears.”

“...”

“C’mon Prompto. Silence isn’t going to make me underst-

“WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?” He yelled out.

The sudden confession caught you off guard.

“Uh sorry! F-forget I said anything!” He awkwardly tried to playing it cool. Oh Prompto.

“Prompto.”

“...Yeah?”

You gave him a small peck on his freckled cheek.

“I’d would love to go out with you.”

Ignis

He said he would never fall in love. He dedicated his whole life to Noct. He didn’t need anyone else.

Well that was... until he met you.

You were so delicate. Did everything at ease. Calm and sweet, you were a beam of light.

A beam of light that went into Ignis’s heart. He fell in love.

He tried for so long to keep his feelings under wrap. He didn’t wanna come off as “unprofessional”.

But he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore. True love was a rare thing you see, and it shouldn’t be wasted.

He didn’t wanna lose you.

He made a plan. Make a fancy dinner with your favorite food, drink, and most importantly,

Confess his feelings towards you.

Since he was very aware of your nativity, he thought that a direct approach would help.

You entered his small but nice little apartment, smelling the delicious food cooking.

“Ah! That smells so good!”

Ignis giggled. Your positivity was something he deeply admired about you.

“Why, thank you darling. It’ll taste good as it smells.” He smiled back at you.

20 minutes passed, it was done and your both sat done to eat this wonderful meal.

It was delicious! Every taste was like heaven! You loved it so much.

But one thing was confusing you; what was this for?

Ignis didn’t speak to you much. And when he did, it was professional and monotone.

Tonight was different. He was smiling and seem beaming with happiness.

It was a different side of Ignis. A side that was rare but you were lucky enough to see it.

“Ignis..”

“Yes Y/n?”

“This was such a great meal.” You started “I’ve never had such a great meal until now.”

Ignis nodded contently.

“..But...” That ‘but’ got Ignis’s attention. “But what is this for?”

Although you his face didn’t show much emotion, his eyes does all the talking.

His eyes basically said “There on to me.”

Ignis coughed before saying,

“I made to show my feelings towards.”

“Oh.” You said. Thinking he was just being kind and wanted to share his feelings about you in a ‘friendly’ way.

“Well, thank you for for meal. I’ll be going.”

Ignis’s eyes deepen. “They didn’t get it, did they?!”

Ignis realizing his plan was failing and not waiting to wait anymore, he got in front of the door.

“Y/n. Perhaps I should be more direct.”

“What do you mean? I thought it was-

“I have feelings for you, darling. For awhile, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“...Ignis..”

“I wanted to show my feelings through food but that didn’t work.” He chuckled a bit. Laughing at his own “failure”.

The realization hit you. The Ignis Scientia was in love with you?

“Ignis I-

“You don’t need to say anything darling. I was-

You interrupted him by giving him a big hug.

Any affection was foreign to Iggy and usually, unwanted. But this was the few exception.

You snuggled to his clothing. It was warm and comfortable.

“I love you Iggy.” You whispered to his chest.

Oh his heart was on fire tonight. His plan was a success.

“I love you too, Y/n.”

Gladiolus

This man was a known womanizer.

Every woman loved him and every man wanted to be him.

Who could blame them? He was strong, had a cool hawk tattoo, beautiful eyes and hair.

But he was also feared.

He looked intimidating. He could fight anyone if he wanted to.

But that’s a front.

Deep down, he’s a gentle giant underneath.

He wanted to love anyone just as anyone else wanted.

You saw the true Gladiolus.

A kind, smart, book reader, strong of course but more than his strength.

That’s what Gladio loved about you. You knew the Real Gladio.

He couldn’t help but fall for you.

But he was frustrated with his lack of progress with you, due to your lack of awareness to his feelings towards you.

He was sure he was so obvious but you mistook as “friendliness”.

He finally had enough and was going to tell you straight up, that he was in love with you.

“Y/n!” He called to you.

“Oh hi Gladly! What can I do for you today?”

“I love you.”

“Aww.” You touched. Gladio was never known to say ‘I love you’ especially to the people that were closest to him. “I love you to!”

“Really?!” He said suprised even that didn’t work!

“What?”

“You don’t get it do you?”

“What? What’s up?”

“I’m in love with you!” He looked at you with a little smirk seeing your shocked and embarrassed face.

“I didn’t know.” You whispered.

“I thought I was being kinda obvious!”

You stood there awkwardly and having a hard time looking into his eyes.

You felt embarrassed for not knowing sooner.

Gladiolus smugly said “it’s ok, just say you’ll go on a date with me.”

You giggled. His blunt humor seemed to calm your nerves.

“I would like to go on a date with you, Gladio.”

A/N: This is different eh? I want to try something new.

Hopefully you like it!

Also sorry this took so long! Depression is a real bitch :/









BUDGETING

dont know if everyone will still want to know on budgeting lol

I don't want to sound like a bitch yk

BUT

I think the most important thing for me was learning to give yourself the freedom to enjoy things like little by little

I used to do this thing where I was uptight for a super long time and then I wpukd splurge huge amounts and for nothing.

I'm not religious either but I truly believe that setting out a little each month/week for charity is great bc it's always comes back in a form that's greater you know.

Pay rise, new job opportunities, idk good things.

Ik it sounds cringe and gross but I think it's worth it !

THE STEPS LMAO

Okay so I always but in 40%-45% like in the bag already savings I mean (this can obvs be adjusted to fit your own needs but if say keeping over 30% is key!)

And work around everything else in the steps below !!!

If I was brave enough I would send pictures of my last year budgeting plan and how I managed to save !! But I'm not 😭😭😭

the first step for me would be to list your monthly income !

Monthly is way easier to work with and easier to adjust in the long run !

Second would be list out things that have to be paid always. So fixed expenses.

I.e rent, MOT, bills, food ( for this I would highly recommend just having a monthly shopping of like say £20-25 - seems un do able but isnt !!! Frozen veggies are your best friend:)) gym membership, spotify, prime all of that.

Third which is super important for me at least would be to set out a like reward bonus for yourself.

( in cash preferably- like so once it's gone it's gone you know- like monthly rewards for yourself - sometimes you use it and sometimes you dont!! )

Fourth - ALWAYS SET AN EXTRA LIL FUND FOR THE UNEXPECTED THINGS!!! ( car crashes, dentist, medicine if your toaster breaks if your fridge breaks !! all of that lovely stuffs 😃)

So when you look at all that infront you- really just scrutinise it.

Like -

How much of that do you really need to spend?

Is there anything you can cut out on ?

This is super important at least to me bc then I see that yh shit - that is crazy I'm spending useless money )

I think that also keeping student loans separate is SUUUUPER SUUUUPER bc it just. Idk if anyone else is like this but seeing how much they expected from me to be able to learn always depressed me so I made a separate folder for that- made it pretty so it didnt look sooo bad lmao ) but I think the biggest part was getting to grips that I had all that to pay back!!!

Then like random things :

Concerts, events, holidays.

Like make sure you have them planned in advance and make separate funds for all of them.

To cater to what they need! Like for a concert- hotel and food money and merch buying and army bomb and a NEW OUTFITTTT lmao)

And yh - I think setting up a teeny amount for charity or to help ppl is always great aswell bc well idk you feel good and it does always come to find you- doesnt have to be a large amount. Maybe even a food box every month or smn cute and sweet like that !!

This is how I did it : ( kind of irrelevant and just abt silly me lmao but maybe itll help(?))

So i used to work night shifts at this horrible packing place ( it was freezing too but the pay was so good! It was £15-18 an hr ( sometimes even more )and I used to work from 11pm-4am 7 days a week like I didnt take a day off until I quit and i did it for 2 years ! That was like 50k but I had a lot of things to pay off and my parents wanted nearly all of it back off of me 😃)

This is also the NOT the job I wanted yk? Like I used to work with a bunch of stinky ass men and it sucked but I had to do it bc well my parents kicked me out bc I was non religious looool.

I was never enough and I just got kicked out yk? ( oh no not my sob story but just to put it into perspective sort of like I was fucking depressed my money was going like wildfire )

So I had to kind of take everything/every opportunity. They expected a lot back from me too in that way like alot of my learning was going to them :/)

From 5-7

I worked at a bakery ! Cooking and baking and having fun! That was the best job I had the pay wasnt all that but it was something and I needed everything I could get ! It wasnt everyday either but so and so.

I also am bilingual so that way I was able to get a job as a teacher in a daytime school teaching which I did voluntarily! For the first year !

( I had this routine for 2 years!!)

So like I was getting an okay amount from these jobs but god heavens I was spending so unnecessary.

Like a high price for a shit apartment where I would have to pay for things to get fixed to and that was really expensive.

My parents also took alot first year earnings and that's when I was like well shit I have nothing I really need to like get my shit together yk?

There was student loan (- I dont want to like envoke sympathy bc of all this I just wanna like say that my money was kind of slipping away yk I feel like I'm being annoying 😭😭😭 ) - and just a whole lot of wasting on food ( my biggest expenditure- at the time I was struggling with binge eating and bulimia so 🙃🙃 yh )

Dumb shit off amazon, and like just crap you know

Also car petrol and mot and car stuff. and bus and train fares just money can go so easily.

It was just super super tiring to have juggle all these balls at once but when I got the hang of it like doing all those steps I felt more free and more aware of myself and I was able to enjoy while still getting yk the most out of what I do.

I work as a translater/teacher now so the pay is good and like using these steps is how I got the most out of myself

Uh idk If this even makes sense anymore and I'm sorry if come off as bitch too

I don't mean to or come with a sob story

I just think its important to like realise that no matter what and who in your life demands things from you - you always have to choose to look after yourself first- how you choose too look after yourself is ultimately how you choose to look after others too ! Take good care of yourself - give yourself a clearer mind and you'll be able to see a bigger picture- outside of the one built for you !!

If your struggling with other issues - mental health too it can help bring clarity to that too ! Bc it's some sort of semblance.

Gosh I feel gross what if you have to read all of this 😭😭😭

I hope it helps you ♡♡

Budgeting is really important bc we need to buy houses!!

Need property!!!

Start our own businesses !!

Become our own bosses !

It's just super important to know your expenses you can know yourself better too !

And you can be more mature and more self aware

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Gosh I really ate your ear off with this one

for everyone wondering about our bestie w 50k savings: this is her story !!

Let it happen

Kuroo Tetsuro x reader

song rec: Belly (The Grass Stains) - Rex Orange County

We were just kids when we met. Tetsu sparked my interest as soon as he entered the room, more precisely Kenmas room. The boy stood in the doorway with a volleyball in one of his hands, a little shaky as he nervously asked if we wanted to play with him.

I never really understood the passion the captain had behind the sport. Sure it looked fun at times, but I wondered why he sacrificed so much time for it outside of practice, to even go as far as inspiring other people to go for it too.

Once after a game I even admitted to Kenma that I admired him for that exact reason. He made people feel like they had a purpose.

„But god don’t tell him I said that.“

Kenma had laughed at me but also agreed since we both didn’t want to push this guys ego even more.

For awhile the thought of loving something as much as he did, stayed in the back of my mind, only fleetingly resurfacing when I thought about my future plans. But now we were third years, applying for colleges and speculating where we’d be in ten years. Am I going to have a good job? Will I be married to someone I actually adore? Will I be happy? And the most important one that I kept going back to, thanks to the raven haired boy I called my bestfriend: Will I ever find my true passion?

„Hey, you spacing out on me again?“

„Huh?“ Catching a glimpse at Tetsuro‘s face, it became clear to me that I had yet again stopped listening to his rambling.

„Come on! I’m here spilling my heart out to you and you’re staring at the clouds with your mouth open.“ I frowned at his exaggerated comment, only to sigh at the realisation of my behaviour.

„Sorry, I was just thinking...“ I mumbled as I kicked at some pebbles on the ground. Tetsu glanced over my face, then my hands that were fidgeting with the straps of my backpack.

Suddenly his long arms landed on my shoulder, roughly pulling me into his side as he grinned. „Look if you gotta crush on me, you better say it know 'cause I’ll be leaving for college soon, sooo..”

„Oh my god, you-" I groaned in disbelief as I jabbed my elbow into his side.

„Alright, alright- geez!“

The poor guy rubbed at his rib, holding his other hand out in defense. I strudded further, not acknowledging his looming presence behind me. We stayed like that for a bit, me walking infront and him trudging behind me with a pout.

„You know I was just kidding, right?“

Kuroo was never good at keeping quiet, whereas our other friend Kenma had always been somebody you could have a comfortable silence with. „I know, dude. I’m not mad at you.“

The boys pace quickened until he was back at my side again, tilting his head at me.

„Wanna hang out at your place?“ I quirked a brow at his suggestion, a soft smile forming on my lips.

„At my place? Aren’t you supposed to invite people over to your own house?“

„Come on, you know how my parents get.“ His eyes travelled back to the road ahead of us. The tone of the captains voice hadn’t shifted, but I could read his face pretty well by now.

„They still fighting?“

„Most of the time.“ He snorted, casually placing his hands back into his pockets. „Thank god, I don’t have to hear that for another year.“

My eyes flickered down to the ground again. Oh yeah, he was leaving for college. He was moving on, just like everybody else was.

„Yeah, let’s just go to my place.“

____

„You seriously still got these?“

I stifled a laugh as my best friend waved an old folder filled with pokemon cards infront of my face. I turned in my chair and looked at the boy that was now sitting down on my bed.

„Kenma told me to keep those! He said I could sell them for good money in like 20 years, but I think he’s just waiting for a moment where he can sneak that special Mewtwo card away from me.“

Kuroo chuckled as he went through the folder. „You really can’t trust that kid.“ He shook his head, landing at the last page.

„I’m gonna miss those cards.“ His voice had become more quiet now as looked over the last page a bit longer.

„Wow, really? That’s the last thing I thought you were going to miss.“

Tetsus eyes had stayed on the page until he mumbled out the first thing he had in mind.

„What did you think I’d miss the most?“

My eyes widened as I stared at him in a bit of shook. Usually I put aside his flirty nature, but at times I couldn’t help but think that what he said felt genuine.

„The volleyball team?“

He looked up at me for a second, searching for something in my eyes, until he broke out in laughter.

There goes him being actually ‚genuine‘, I guess.

„What? You love your team!“ I reasoned, visibly confused and semi annoyed at his sudden outburst.

„Yeah, of course I love them but those idiots aren’t like my number one of all things.“ He tried to keep in his chuckles and finally closed the pokemon folder. I quickly stood up to break the weird tension he had built yet again, to gather some of the extra blankets I had stuffed in a box under my bed.

He watched me approach him and grinned as I pulled out the box. Tetsu was used to this routine; he always stayed longer than he promised to and then slept over at my place. Even my parents didn’t mind anymore, since they saw him as a good kid from the neighborhood they knew all their lifes.

„I think I’ll miss you the most.“

My head turned to his figure looming over me on the bed. I chuckled until I saw the boy staring at me with a feeling I couldn’t describe. „And Kenma, of course..“

He casually leaned back on one of his hands, rubbing his neck awkwardly with the other. I could only desribe the image in front of me as, flustered.

My eyes flickered back to the box infront of me as I pulled out the usual blanket I always gave him. „I mean, it’s not like we’re never gonna see each other again. I’m still figuring stuff out but the train tickets aren’t that expensive since your university ain’t that far.”

“What do you mean you’re still figuring stuff out? I thought you had something planned already?”

I sighed thinking about the topic I had dreaded for all this time. My body slowly moved back up from the ground and onto the space next to him on the bed.

“I don’t know if I’m really gonna go through with it. Like what if I won’t even like what I’m studying and I’ll be wasting my time for something I wasn’t even 100% sure of in the first place.”

“So what? You think anyone got it figured out right now?”

I scrunched up the blanket in my hands as I thought his question over. “No, but most people seem really good at hiding the fact that they don’t.”

The fluffy material in my hands was now thrown at the boys face, making him dramatically fall back into my pillows.

“That might be true.”

“Are you one of those people?” I asked with genuine curiosity laced in my voice, fixated on my friends reaction. He let out a huff as he sat back up again.

“Sometimes I think I’m not, but I doubt my decisions at times. I think everyone does, it’s normal.”

Suddenly a wave of emotions went through me, filling me with some sort of heaviness. My throat tightened as I was hit with the reality of my childhood friend leaving me and everything behind soon.

“Do you think it’s normal to be this scared of the future?”

I gulped, trying as hard as I could to stop myself from grtting emotional. He quirked a brow as he dipped his head lower to meet my eye.

“Y/N, I’ve never been this scared in my life.”

Nodding my head slowly, I really began to take in his expression and the worried look he had on his face.

“But I’m thankful to have friends like you by my side that are going through it just like me, it’s comforting in a way.”

Tetsu gave me a small smile as he shifted to the left side of the bed and layed down flat. After staring mindlessly at my wall, the raven ahired boy padded the place next to him.

“Oi, stop being all sappy. It’s really having an effect on me and I’m not sure if I like it.”

A breathe escaped my lips, or more of a sad attempt at a chuckle, as I followed his movements to lay down next to him.

“The girls are gonna love it, trust me.”

Suddenly the cocky guy became silent again.

“Who cares...” He mumbled out as a faint blush crept onto his face.

“Excuse me? Who’s the one that said he’s gonna be a player in college?”

I giggled at his flustered form until the softness of one of my pillow hit my head. Letting out another fit of giggles, I took away the pillow and stuck it under my stomach as I leaned on it, and watched the boy closer.

“Tetsuro.”

“Mh?”

“I’m gonna miss you the most too.”

His eyes flickered back to me and stayed for a bit longer.

“...And Kenma!” I added with a teasing grin and rolled onto my back.

“Oh shut up.” My friend groaned as he placed a hand over his face to hide his own grin.

I wanted this moment to last just a bit longer...

____

Another short comfort fic cause I’ve been feeling pretty down recently but i hope ya like it anyways ^^

1. When are you likely to be condescending?  I’m not condescending. Ew.

2. How do you treat people that you feel are somehow “lower” than you?  Wtf. I don’t think people are lower than me???

3. Do you support the idea of anarchy?    No.

4. What do you think of the population of teenagers that considers college to be a waste of their time?    College isn’t for everyone. While attending it may get you a higher ranking job, it’s just not everyone’s cup of tea - and it’s stupid to waste that shit-ton of money on it if you’re not able to put in the effort, etc. <<< That’s true. And if they happen to change their mind, they can go anytime. I do think they should be provided the information so they know what their options are, though. It’s possible some of them have some misinformation or aren’t aware of some things that could possibly change their mind.

5. Do you consider your education to be a waste of your time?    There is a part of me that feels that way because my BA has just sat on my shelf for the past 5 years collecting dust. I don’t even want to pursue psychology anymore. :/ I still very much have an interest in it, I just don’t know what I want to do in the field. I don’t want to be a counselor or social worker and I’m not cut out to be a psychologist, nor do I have any desire to further my education, sooo. I honestly have no idea what I want or could do, career wise. I’m at a total loss. Despite all that, I can’t fully say my education was a waste of time. I’m grateful for it, and I enjoy learning, I just wish I had went about some things differently.

6. Every tattoo has a story behind it; if you have any, what are the stories behind yours?   I don’t have any.

7. Have you ever gone through a period of mass weight-gain/weight-loss? what was that time like for you?    I’ve lost a significant amount of weight these past few years and it’s been hard because it has caused some health related issues and adds to others. I just can’t seem to increase my food intake or put on any weight.

8. What’s one incident that has majorly affected your self-esteem? Was it for better, or for worse?  I’m just a sucker with no self-esteem.

9. Is the number of followers you have important to you?    No.

10. How many hours a day do you think is just entirely too many?    What.

11. Do you have a close bond with your sibling(s)? Was it always this way, or has it been better/worse?    My younger brother and I are very close, always have been.

12. Have you ever behaved like a stalker?    Uh, no.

13. How are you feeling today?   I have a stye and it’s really, really bothersome. I get them every now and then and ugh it’s so annoying. And they’re kind of painful.

15. Do you cook your own meals or do your parents?    I make simple things like stuff you put in the microwave or oven, as well as my ramen, but my parents make dinner. And eggs.

16. Have you used Limewire before?    Yeah, waaaaaaay back in the day.

17. Are you/were you in a band? if so, what was your band name?  Nope.

18. Who do you envy the most, if anyone at all?    I envy different people for different things.

19. Has the last person you kissed met your father?    Yeah.

20. Who knows you better than you know yourself? God.

20 for 2020 - Updated List

Having a baby amidst the Coronavirus pandemic has been an experience tho. And it means I need to update my New Year’s Resolutions because some of them just reallllly don’t or can’t apply anymore. I don’t know how long these resolutions will apply (if things get back to a more “normal” state I may want to update them again), but I think for at least the next few months, this is what I’ve got:

1. Shut off phone for 8 hours once a week: I use the phone religiously to track EJ’s feedings, diapers, and sleep. Sometimes when I’m nursing it’s the only form of entertainment accessible. The argument could be made that I should just enjoy the time with my son, but I spend about two hours a day at this activity, and I really enjoy reading on my phone while I do it. SO, the new resolution: turn my phone to airplane mode for 8 hours a week, with at least 4 of those hours being consecutive. This should allow me to use the phone for tracking and reading but also be free of the constant mind-numbing lure of Instagram/checking emails/playing endless Clash Royale games. 

2. No phone for first 30 mins of day. I honestly did pretty well at both of these first two resolutions for the first three months of the year. But staying off my phone in the morning now feels totally unthinkable. (See above re: tracking, reading, etc.) I do really enjoy the calming ritual of looking at the weather and pollen count for the day, looking at my sleep patterns on my Fitbit, checking in on my goals on League, etc. So I’m going to nix this goal entirely. Since part of this goal was so that I could go to God first and not get distracted, I’ll change it to - do devos 5x a week. This has been surprisingly difficult having an unpredictable baby around - which I knew it would be, by the way!! (I had one friend insist that “babies sleep all the time”, which, woof. We’ve had to alter our expectations on that one.)

3. Dedicate baby to Jesus. I am going to go ahead and be optimistic and believe this could still happen! I just sent an email to the church office asking how it works. 

4. Join a woman’s Bible study. Done!

5. Ask a friend to church. Again, with the specificity of this goal, going to hold out hope that this becomes a possibility before the year is out! 

6. Make a health tracker for all 3 of us. Done, and because we’re keeping distanced from others, praise God for His protection and safety, I really haven’t had to use it. Which is great, because I worry about every. little. thing. when it comes to EJ. Motherhood is an exercise in surrendering to God and living fully dependent on Him the way EJ is fully dependent on us! 

7. Get outside and walk for 20 minutes daily. I’m pretty proud of how I kept this up throughout my pregnancy and started back up about a week postpartum! Again, thanking God for great weather, an easy delivery and recovery, and an able body! 

8. Go to prenatal yoga 6 more times. I did this one, albeit modified - I did yoga using videos at home. 

9. Start running again post-birth. Done! 

10. Get back down to minus 140 lbs. Sadly, I had checked this one off on the one day I was like 139.8...but I’m back up. Significantly. And I don’t really feel like putting in the effort to lose it while I’m breastfeeding and pretty much always hungry. Sooo we’ll see what happens.

11. Eat less sugar (be mindful). Ha! May as well change this one to “bake more”...lol. In the spirit of being healthy and recognizing that food is one of my few great pleasures during this time period, I’ll rejig it to be - exercise three times a week. 

12. Go to a BBQ place with Johnny. Alas, no one is going anywhere. But I am going to change this one to have 8 date nights with jnils - works out to one a month from now until the end of the year!

13. Eat at Olive Garden. Done, and so glad I checked this one off before the borders closed!

14. Buy a better frying pan. Honestly, I don’t really care that much about this one anymore. But in the spirit of the kitchen, I would like to learn how to make my mom’s macaroni beef casserole!

15. Wear lip colour once a week. I kept up with this during the school year, but my face looks better with eyeliner and mascara, and lip colour is a waste if you’re wearing a mask! So I’m switching it to: wear makeup once a week. 

16. Buy new glasses and/or contacts. I would like to keep this one and see it completed because my glasses are old and my contacts are expired, lol. 

17. Buy and complete a puzzle. Done!

18. Read 60 books. I’m at 40 currently so I think I’m going to make it! 

19. See 10 movies with jnils. Whelp. I had watched two with him, and I meant in theatres. BUT, we did start watching through the Marvel movies pre-baby, and that is something I would really like to finish! So I’ll say watch all the Marvel movies, in order of release date.

20. Meet up with someone at least once a week after the first month of newborn has passed. Ugh. This was one I was really looking forward to. I looove getting out of the house each day, even if it’s just to go to the garden centre to pick up flowers or hang out with my parents, so I really think I would have done this one sans COVID regulations...but for some reason, I find scheduling FaceTime calls and Skype calls etc etc really difficult and energy-draining. Part of it is most people are still working and can only do them at night, which is witching hour for EJ dearest. So I’m going to do a complete about-face away from a social goal and go for one that is guaranteed to make me happy and not take away from my more limited energy resources, not that I don’t love my friends and family: Plant tulips in October! 

BONUS! Look into becoming a milk donor. I currently have about 80 ounces in my freezer and I think I could do it (you need 150!), but I don’t want to hold myself to it because then I have unnatural reactions to “wasting” my milk (like when I spilled an ounce of it today after pumping 3 and got really, really annoyed). I’m sending them an email today too! 

Overall, I’m really excited about revising my resolutions and almost feel like I should do this every year, baby/COVID or no. In any case, I am SO grateful that I and my family are all healthy and safe, and I pray that God would continue to protect us, and you too, if you’re reading this. :)

Shooting For Stars: Chapter 1

Summary: 

Hyuna Lee just started college, and while procrastinating decided to give a popular MMO called LOLOL a try. Here she will meet new friends, battle monsters, part takes in epic quests, and potentially find love!

Most of this will take place in LOLOL at the beginning.

This takes place a year/ year and a half after Seven's good end, and the secret endings. Yoosung x OC

**Update's once a week**

Smut in later chapters, of course ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ Hyuna groaned as she sat staring at her computer. Her assignment was to draw something that inspires you, some sort of introductory assignment for the Professor to get to know her small class of Art Student Misfits. Nothing seemed to inspire her as of late, and no matter what she did manage to sketch out onto screen seemed to call her out: The Un-Inspired Art Student with no muse or motivation. Her fingers ran the length of her caramel brown locks, and her nails lightly scratched her scalp trying to ease her growing frustrations. Hazel glared at the taunting screen before her, daring it to keep on challenging her. 

After what seemed like an eternity, the artist sighed in defeat. Nothing was coming to her, and the lines she had managed to get down didn’t seem to be coming together as anything. Annoyed with herself and lack of a muse, she set her tablet to the side and opened her social media. Not much was going on, and she didn’t really have any friends anymore. Her sister posted a photo of her and her little class of second graders. They were cute and her sister looked happy. Smiling at the photo she offered it a thumbs up. 

When she was done scrolling her newsfeed she opened boogle. Bored she searched for fun things to do on the internet. The search results varied in interest, but an ad on the web page she was on showed a popular MMO and a free trial. Curious she clicked it and went to the homepage of the game. She read of the spec’s and nodded noting it would work on her pc. She clicked the download icon and downloaded it. 

Hazel eyes read every bit of detail the game had to offer her as it booted up the character creator. Feeling a little nervous, having never played an MMO before and unsure if she’d actually like being in contact with actual people. Logically she knew she could just play solo and ignore the events, or even delete her entire account after the free trial ran out and simply say she tried it. Biting a plump bottom lip she was greeted with page after several final updates. 

First, she selected her gender debating on being a boy, but ultimately settled for female solely because she knew their armor would be cuter the further she got into the game. She clicked through the races and settled on an elf. She smiled customizing the hairstyle and making the hair a lovely hue of blue. The eyes matched her avatar's hair. Hyuna chooses the least appalling beginner to wear praying she would be able to get something that wasn’t such an eyesore to wear easily. Overall the artist was pleased with the look of her new online persona and moved onto the next page.

Here she had to choose a username. Chewing on her lip she knew she go to Sapphire would be already taken in such a massive game, but gave it a go anyway. Slightly disappointed when it was already taken she contemplated what to use. She typed in several weird spelling of the name before Sapfyre worked. Making a surprised and pleased noise, she made haste to click the arrow button that would take her into the game. 

The screen loaded and she took her time going through the tutorial and getting the hang of the world, and command functions. Hyuna watched as her pretty avatar moved about doing little missions and basically busy work with prompt boxes explaining the gameplay.

 Soon enough she had completed her ‘training’ and was warped to a busy square full of other players. Hyuna blushed feeling slightly overwhelmed by the sheer number of avatars on the screen. She had picked one of the busier servers, but she hadn’t imagined it’d be this popular. Chewing her lip she ran around getting used to the shops and how the currency worked. Hazel eyes scanned the screen and took notice of where the world chat was, besides it was a little icon that lights up red with a little 1 beside it. Curious she clicked it and noticed it was the private messaging system. 

SupermanYoosung★: Hey you look lost ^^ SupermanYoosung★: You must be new! SupermanYoosung★: If you want help doing some quest or anything let me know. Hyuna tapped the pads of her fingers against her lips reading the message over and over again honestly wanting to take them up on their offer. Yet, she also felt rather shy about it too, it was strange. It wasn’t like it was a real interaction with someone, just two gamer bros going on a digital epic quest, so to speak. That being said, the artist wasn’t really a people person. Taking a moment to think about the other player's offer she opened the tab at the top that showed the servers rankings and who was online at the moment. Hazel went wide as she stared at the first couple name’s noticing the friendly strangers rank. They where rank number 2, basically LOLOL royalty. Hyuna let out a girlish giggle in disbelief. She clicked back onto her private messages and re-read the person’s name. It was for sure rank #2 SupermanYoosung. Before her brain could catch up to her fingers the typed with speed across her keyboard. 

Sapfyre: Oh wow! Sapfyre: I just check up on you, and it says your rank #2 ^^; Sapfyre: You must have better things to do than help a little noob like myself!

Before she knew it an impressive tank build avatar ran towards her. Hyuna bumped her forehead lightly with her fist watching as he positioned himself next to her Hobo of an Elf avatar. What a contrast that was to behold. However, if he did have time to waste with her, she almost wanted to beg him to help her get something more suitable for her avatar to wear. Something less beggar and painstakingly noob. 

SupermanYoosung★: Hahaha Yup! That’s me, I’m pretty awesome, huh? 

Hyuna couldn’t help but roll her eyes as a smile played at the edge of her mouth.

SupermanYoosung★: I’m also pretty free at the moment. I have no issue bussing you through some dungeons and helping you get some decent equipment.  SupermanYoosung★: Plus once you get passed level 20 you can join guilds! SupermanYoosung★: If you want, I can invite you to mine, haha!

This person seemed pretty nice and welcoming, Hyuna mused smiling to herself. She didn’t want to get his hopes up, nonetheless. Still unsure if she wanted to pay for the month to month subscription, or would even bother logging in again once she decided she had procrastinated enough for the evening and got back to her assignment. Best to play it coy. 

Sapfyre: Well alright then!  Sapfyre: Lolol can you add me to the party, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing  SupermanYoosung★: Oh! Sure thing!

The notification of a party invitation popped up. Hyuna clicked it and accepted. Soon there was an Icon over the two opposing in style avatars linking them together. 

Sapfyre: Wow they really go out and show you who you're with, huh? Sapfyre: We should get out of the public eye, haha… Someone like you hanging out with a LOLOL hobo can’t be good for the reputation! ^^ SupermanYoosung★: lol naw, it’s fine, I’m buying potions. I’ve got a feeling you’re gonna need them at the start ^^ SupermanYoosung★: I know just the Dungeon that shares exp! It’s pretty high rank, but I can handle the monsters myself. You can just sit back and enjoy the show! Cheer for me too! Sapfyre: I might be a noob, but I do freelance as a cheerleader on the side Sapfyre: It’s not much, but it’s honest work~ Sapfyre: Go! Yoosung! GO!  SupermanYoosung★: Haha! I didn’t expect you to actually cheer for me >_< SupermanYoosung★: Now I definitely have to help you get to at least level 20!

Hyuna’s character automatically followed the party leader’s avatar about the busy town square. There was an option to turn it off, but she didn’t feel like it. It was fun watching the two of them run around side by side as this Yoosung got the supplies she would most likely need to brave the dungeon. The artist clicked on her avatar and gasped in surprise. 

Sapfyre: There are little social action commands! Sapfyre: Ooooh~ 

She made her Elf do a little tribal type dance around Yoosung. She giggled as he made his brolly tank dance with her in the middle of the square. That was cute! 

SupermanYoosung★: Hahaha >_< SupermanYoosung★: They do! And some of the actions are special to race, gender, and class. SupermanYoosung★: Oh! You get to pick a class at level 10 SupermanYoosung★: Any ideas on a build you want to make? Sapfyre: Thank you for the dance Monsieur~ Sapfyre: I dunno what build to make??? Sapfyre: I guess I want something ranged so I can hang back. 

A box popped up on the screen declaring that SupermanYoosung would like to item share with her. Hyuna clicked yes and his inventory opened along with her own. She flushed when she saw all the cool things he was carrying and how she only held a level 2 stick from one of her tutorial missions at the beginning. She watched as Yoosung threw 99 potions, and 99 mana restore potions at her along with a level 2 wooden helm. She giggled equipping it to her Elf. 

Sapfyre: Now my look is finally complete. What a sexy helm! SupermanYoosung★: lololol, sooo sexy~ SupermanYoosung★: Back on the topic of builds SupermanYoosung★: Ever consider being a support healer? SupermanYoosung★: It’s sooo hard to find a decent one D:

Sapfyre: I dunno if I’d make a good support ^^; Sapfyre: If they are hard to find there must be a reason right?

SupermanYoosung★: They just don’t know how to build themselves, and/or try to fight when the tanks have the situation covered and die, SupermanYoosung★: I never built a healer before, but I do know a few things. I could help you if you want?

Sapfyre: Welllllllll Sapfyre: Sure why not~~! Sapfyre: Since you’re helping me out so much already, I don’t mind trying to be a healer for you.

SupermanYoosung★: Thank you! SupermanYoosung★: Rest of the guild will be so jealous when I show off my own personal little healer~ haha~

Sapfyre: >_< lololol I’m shy~

Hyuna bit her lip re-reading the messages. It almost felt like this guy or girl or whatever they are was flirting with her. They couldn’t possibly know she was a girl. She assumed many male players would make a female avatar, let's be honest, the higher rank armor leaves little to the imagination. She wrote off the interaction as this Yoosung being friendly and excited to help her create a healer support he seemed to need desperately. 

SupermanYoosung★: Haha that’s okay! SupermanYoosung★: Do you have a headset, it’s easier to chat that way while in dungeons.

The artist flushed again at the thought of letting a stranger hear her voice. She could see why it would be more convenient. Seeing as she had never played an online game, and preferred solo JRPG’s or Horror survival-

Sapfyre: I never required a headset before

SupermanYoosung★: It’s okay, it just means we are gonna crawl dungeons a bit slower since we’ll have to type to one another. 

Sapfyre: ^^; I’ll look into investing in one in the future. Sapfyre: I’m on a college student allowance, it’ll have to be a cheap one.

SupermanYoosung★: Haha, I’m a student too. I get what you mean. SupermanYoosung★: No shame in having an off-brand HS since you’re just starting SupermanYoosung★: I’m gonna teleport us to a level 30 dungeon. Keep your guard up

Sapfyre: Sure thing ^^

They were off, the screen turned into a load for a moment before both of them spawned in a dungeon. The artist smiled as she watched the other player navigate the surrounding area. She was careful to fall back when zombie looking monstered spawned and swarmed them. All level 30, which made sense, Yoosung had stated it was a high-rank dungeon. Turns out level grind was a bit of a grind, even for beginners. Luckily it was a shared exp dungeon and since there were only two of them in the party it got split in half. Slowly where minimal communication since she lacked a headset they crawled through the Dungeon. Yoosung was kind enough to allow her to loot the corpses and the treasure chests. 

They had even run into some other players who would say hello to Yoosung via the world chat. They had custom speech bubbles, and Hyuna was interested in obtaining some of her own. It was impressive how immersive this game was. You could build sperate skills like smithing, mining, fishing, cooking, act. It was super customizable. Yoosung had rattled off about how there was an event boss just recently and the cool stuff he got for himself. Hyuna smiled, sometimes even giggling to herself as she read Yoosung’s messages. 

Even though she had gotten some pretty decent armor and weapon’s they couldn’t be equipped before she was level 30. It was probably a power scale to disallow players to equip armor so far above themselves early. Yoosung assured her in a few sessions he would have her beefed up and ready to stand on her own in no time. Hyuna despite herself agreed to meet up tomorrow evening and found herself genuinely enjoying the game. Maybe she was just enjoying Yoosung’s company, who knew. 

Once they finished the dungeon, Yoosung warped them back into the town square and sent her a friend request. Hyuna didn’t even think twice as she accepted it. 

SupermanYoosung★: This way we will get notifications when either of us logs on, and it even shows where we are on the map.  SupermanYoosung★: I’m gonna be on a little while longer, you good?

Hyuna looked at the clock and gasped blinking, unbelieving what she was thinking. Had she really wasted three hours? Was it really 1 am?

Sapfyre: OMFG!!!! It’s 1 am!!! I have an assignment due tomorrow morning! SupermanYoosung★: It’s 1 am for me too, we must be pretty close. Lolol SupermanYoosung★: You should go get the project done SupermanYoosung★: Guess I’ll see you tomorrow~ ^^

Sapfyre: Ya tomorrow! I’ll be off! Sapfyre: Enjoy ruling the online virtual world!

With that Hyuna was quick to log off and sighed to herself. It had only meant to be an hour break, and somehow she got so caught up in it she was looking at either failing her first assignment or not sleeping. Looking at the clock she grabbed her a tablet and the pen and looked at whatever these lines she had drawn were suppose to be. Deciding to delete all the progress she had apparently made, she settled herself in for a long night of drawing her assignment for her 8 am class. 

Day 43

Sun 16th Feb

Travel Day - Lake Nakuru to Nairobi to night bus zzz

Phil got up early to go swimming before the crowds arrived and I happily relaxed with the wifi and room to myself. But theeeeeen Phil ran back excitedly to tell me that I should get up and join him to sit poolside in the beautiful morning sun. OH FFS.

I kinda couldn't be arsed (which I knoooow sounds stupid) but knew I HAD to go now that he'd run all the way back to say it. So I got up and dragged my poor self over to the pool (I hope you feel sorry for me). Despite the altitude making the breathing much harder (or something he said along those lines), Phil bossed 1500km of front crawl, then went to the little gym area to celebrate with 30 mins of picking things up and putting them down again (I think they call it weights). 

We cleared the breakfast buffet of all it's potatoes then got packed up to leave for a day of buses. We asked the manager again about the shorts and she said she'd spoken to the hedge trimmer guy who'd found them and 'thrown them away'. Sorry what now?? People do not throw clothes away here. So basically, we're pretty sure he stole them which is annoying. But we'll cope. Hope he enjoys the shorts. In HELL. I’m kidding. I hope they go to a good home and that God never finds out about the theft cos that guy will be in biiiiig trouble.

We went in a taxi to Easy Coach where they'd advised us to go for the ‪12pm‬ bus, tickets in advance not required. Sounded straightforward.

But on arrival, Easy Coach said they weren't sure what time the bus would depart - could be anytime between 12-3 - and that it was potentially full, so they wouldn't sell us a ticket till the bus arrived. Phil was really annoyed by this, but got organised and quickly found us a tuc tuc to go to Prestige buses. Ooh Philly Tours was in full mode here. Turned out there were posh matatu buses that DON'T stop a million times and put people on air seats that don’t exist! Prestige even did the OPPOSITE thing of telling us it would be an hour wait, then after 20 mins it was ready to go - causing us to down our mango juice and coffee and cancel our food order in a panic! But than the opposite though I can tell you.

The vehicle was comfortable but as I put the food bag on my lap I realised the Mexican food from the night before had LEAKED everywhere and the canvas bag was super wet. Plus it smelt kinda like vinegar so I guessed the food had gone to waste annoyingly. Plus on this bus, no one seemed to want their window open which made it SOOO hot. I had to keep asking the woman in front to open it and she would close it after 5 minutes every time. It was a real relief to get out in Nairobi ironically and feel cooler air. 

I tried to get Phil to eat the Mexican food but he said no so we walked 10 mins to a LP recommended restaurant called Trattoria and it was super nice. With 3 hours to kill, we were in no rush so took our time with a mushroom risotto and walnut eggplant ravioli. We then shifted into the bar area to watched Aston Villa vs Spurs, much to the Italian owners disappointment (he tried to change the channel to the Juventus game but our waiter forced him to change it back for us ha). 

As the light dipped into evening, the streets seemed intimidatingly busy and Phil smartly insisted on getting us an Uber to the bus station drop off. We pulled up to the Modern Coast office but I jumped out to check if we were in the right place and we were not! Thank GOSH we checked as I was able to jump back into the Uber and we went and found the correct place in the safety of a vehicle 😅. 

Our ‪8pm‬ bus was already there getting loaded up and the nice staff even let us use the office loos before we left, not that they were fancy or anything, but avoided hunting around for somewhere then paying. We got onto the bus and I looked at the GIANT VIP seats at the front of the bus and realised they were our seats GET IN - One on each side of the aisle. Wow they were MASSIVE and I felt so lucky to have them instead of the small ones. Phil sat in his doing a little dance for a good 5 mins. 

The first few hours of the journey were fine for me but when I looked over at Phil I was a little shocked. He was sat there completely topless, sweating. He looked at me in desperation and mounted at me 'I'm so hot'. Yeah no shit mate. 

I told him to ask for AC and as soon as he did, the bus guy turned it on and cool air blasted out. What a relief, Phil was a new man. However he soon put his T-shirt back on to the disappointment of all the ladies on board.

When the bus stopped ‪at midnight‬ for a 15 min break, it was important to take the opportunity to pee. This I have learnt in my years of being a travelling scruffbag. But Phil thought it was finally time to tuck info the Mexican food. Brave of him, I thought, but great that it wasn't going to waste. I made him eat it off the bus though as I could already smell it when he picked up the bag, eurgh. It was all vege tho so I thought it must be fine, just a bit marinaded and old. I was proud that Phil was going to give it a go despite the pure acidic pong that surrounded it.  

When I returned from the loo, Phil was sat in the outside eating area and looked a little unhappy. He was looking into the ice cream freezer when I got to him. Then he looked at me and said ‘I don’t want anymore Mexican food. It tastes weird’. It was at this point that I mentioned I'd been surprised he'd wanted it in the first place and he was like 'WHY didn't you say that BEFORE?! WHY did you let me eat it?! It was ROTTEN Jess!'. I started laughing and he bought a caramel ice cream to drown his sorrows and take the taste away. 

Back to the night bus, just another 6 hours to go...lets hope Phil doesn’t shit himself from the rotten Mexican food eh.

Survey #212

“counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums.”

Have you ever fired a gun? No. Have you ever tried archery? No. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? A day or so. Do you have any scars? Whew, a lot. I scar easily tbh, though me being so so pale probably contributes to making them more noticeable. Are you a good judge of character? I don't really know. I think so, but then again I'm very very paranoid when meeting new people and look TOO deep into how I expect someone to be. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Just British. What is your favorite accent? British generally, but I find French sooo pretty with girls, then Scottish is cool. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? I have no clue. Probably my leather boots. Can you curl your tongue? Yes, surprisingly... I just tried and I can with the slight curve in my tongue ring. Most used phrased? Probably "what a mood" or something like that lmao. Most used word? Besides the words in most sentences, I'm sure it's probably "fuck." How long does it take for you to get ready? Am I taking a shower? Then just like... less than 20 minutes. Without a shower, it's like less than ten minutes. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Both. Can you name all 50 states of America? No. I'm a sad American. Have you ever started a rumor? No. How fast can you type? I took a test awhile back for a job application purpose and it's 72 or so wpm. How fast can you run? I can tell you NOT FAST without even trying. Color of your bedspread? Navy and black. Have you ever had a really bad haircut? I don't think so. What brand, color, and type is your favorite eyeliner? I don't have one. Do you wear eyeliner? If I ever wear makeup, that's the one thing I will wear. Was there ever a time in your life when you couldn’t cry? Yes, probably early 2017. I was so numb until I started to "feel" recovery. Even as I got better, I had a hard time crying. Last year was a pretty "I can't cry"-type time, too. What’s your favorite type of yogurt? Not a fan of yogurt. What are your favorite type of calendars? I don't have one? Do you have a full-length mirror? Yes. Do you have a piggy bank? No. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? No. What’s your favorite DIY crafts YouTube channel? I don't watch DIY crafts. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? At my current age, bottom. What kind of popcorn is your favorite? Probably caramel corn. But buttery and salty is great too. Does your town have a big fountain in it? No. What is your town known for? Probably nothing. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? If yes, what is it? Hm. That's a long ways off, idk. All I know is it'd be great if Sara was here. And then there's the yearly urge to get a tattoo that day lmao. What is the last new thing you discovered that was really good? I think The Shining. Watched it for the first time and loved it. What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? Hey could I have money right now. Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? If so, what? English/Language Arts. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. What is the best hairstyle you’ve ever had? I love what I currently have. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? Dyed hair. Do you think your look better with curly hair or straight hair? Straight. Do you have bangs? No. What’s your favorite rock band? I'd say Marilyn Manson. (I'm excluding metal, 'cuz that's a different story.) Who’s your favorite country singer? I don't mind Tim McGraw. Did you try the unicorn frappuccino, and if yes, were you a fan? I didn't. When you look at your baby pictures, do you recognize yourself? Actual baby pictures, usually no. Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? Yes; I was born dirty blonde. Do you wear matching socks? Yeah. Do you decorate for Halloween? We don't really anymore. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Just swim around, relax. Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? I think so. What color(s) eyeshadow do you wear the most? Only ever black. Do you see yourself as a sensitive person? I'm extremely sensitive. Do you still leave/receive voicemails? Yes. Are you a festive person? Do you enjoy holidays? I'm not very festive, no. The only holidays that really excite me are Halloween and Christmas. What is your favorite subject to learn about? Meerkats. You’re feeling down - do you listen to sad music or happy? Sad. It usually comforts me/makes me feel less alone. Even though I might cry. Is there a song or artist that you secretly enjoy, but don’t want to enjoy? I like a decent number of Blood On The Dancefloor songs. Has your parents' taste in music in any way affected what you like? Yes. When I started getting into rock naturally, I began listening to my mom's CDs, and that's when metal stole my heart. You’re looking for some new music - what’s your preferred way to discover? YouTube recommendations. Do you still own any CD’s/records/tapes? Mom has CDs. She may or may not have tapes from when my sisters and I were really young for memory's sake; we had a lot of kid ones, like Raffi. Do you ever hear a new song on TV that you like and find it? When I watched TV, yeah, rarely. Do you watch the news? No. What about the weather channel? No. What’s your favorite holiday movie? Maybe Hocus Pocus. How do you feel about adult cartoons? I don't have an opinion. Do you still watch shows that you grew up watching? No. What about movies that you grew up with? Yeah. Do you identify with any organized religion? No. If so - is it how you were raised, or have you found your own? I was raised Catholic, grew to simply a Christian, then left that behind a year or more ago. Have you ever protested or been on strike? Does not eating at Chick-fil-a count as some kind of "protest?" That place was hard to let go of, but nah man, I'm not supporting your business when your higher-ups contribute to anti-LGBT efforts and such. Is gun control necessary or no? Some degree of control absolutely is. Are you happy with the political state where you reside? HAHA no. Should abstinence or sex education be taught in schools? Education, but I do believe in heavily advising smart sexual decisions such as not just doing it with just anyone. Have you read the book 13 Reasons Why or watched the show? I read the book. Should shows like this be available to everyone or could it be a trigger? Fuck the show. Do you like animals? Of course. What is your absolute favorite food? Probably pizza. Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? You don't know the half of it. I literally cried the first and last day of my last job because I couldn't find the gloves when I needed to. So yeah, I take meds, but I don't think either do very much, honestly. Who was the last person you felt you were wasting your time on? A former best friend. I cared when she didn't. One thing you’ve experienced that you thought you never would have? I never in a million years thought I was going to have a bad - traumatic - breakup when I was kid because I "knew who to pick." I was so sure. What was the last thing someone said to you that kept repeating over & over in your head? The guy who helped in basic training with me saying "well that was a waste of my time" when my co-worker told him what was going on with me. Literally, it won't get out of my head. If a random person were to look through the photos on your phone, is there anything you’d be embarrassed about? lmao I have Mark wallpapers stored, my friend. Don't find my collection. How often do you have late nights out? Never. Ever. Do you currently have any mixed feelings about someone? As far as friendships go, yes. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? No no no no no. I want a job to get OUT of my house. I know I'd be less productive, too. What were you like in middle school? Weird and probably annoying. If you could give one charity a million dollars, what charity would you donate money to? I'm not sure. I'd have to look more into ones with causes I'm passionate about. Most likely something about conservation. Would you ever be an organ donor? I am. Which do you think is harder: realizing you haven’t changed or realizing you have? The former. Is there something that you really need to do, but can’t seem to get motivated to do it? Plenty of things. Have you ever won some sort of prize or prize package from a contest? What did you win? Yeah, a few. I don't remember most; I only really remember the Silent Hill one I've mentioned before. What is something you’re surprised hasn’t been invented yet? A cure for cancer, I guess? I dunno. Most disturbing movie you have ever seen? Probably The Entity. Has a life goal or dream ever come true for you yet? If yes, what is it? If no, do you think you’ll achieve it? lol by golly do I wish. I don't fucking know if I'll achieve any. What one thing has always bothered you, but seems to bother no one else? I get legitimately bothered by people going in/out the wrong door. Do you still own a VCR and VHS tapes? No. What’s your favorite color gummy bear? I don't care. What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex’s body? Shoulder blades why do I love shoulder blades????? Where do you sing the most, in the car or the shower? I dunno. Ever hurt yourself playing Wii? Probably. Do you have freckles? Not on my face. I did as a kid though. Weird. How many languages can you say “Hello” in? Three. What’s the last video game you played? So not computer? I believe... The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon? Or Shadow of the Colossus. I don't remember. Can you do the alphabet in sign language? No. Do you like your feet? I don't like feet to begin with, and I don't like mine. My feet are so dry and callused to HELL from when I used to walk all the time. I need to see a doctor to get rid of the worst ones on my toes honestly because they annoy the fuck out of me because ugly. Candles or incense? Incense. Reason behind the last time you laughed until you cried? I don't remember. Are you one who brags a lot? I don't have anything to brag about. Do you face your problems head on or do you run away from them? Depends on the problem, I guess... What is the latest you’ve stayed out before? I remember there was one night in particular with Jason where he dropped me off like... really late. Around 3 or later in the morning. I don't remember why I got home so late. Are you confrontational? AVOID! AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! COSTS! Do you stand your ground? Usually. Who do you know without a doubt cares about you? Mom, Sara, and Dad. Have you ever caught yourself talking in your sleep? For the past year and more, I've started sleep talking frequently... and yeah, I've woken up in the middle of doing it plenty of times. Did you do anything stupid/anything you regret today? I probably do something stupid every day. Little things like procrastinate on everything are certainties. Have you ever switched primary care doctors? Do not. Get me FUCKING started. On the doctor who kept me on a medication that resulted in gaining like 150 pounds and blaming it all on me. Yeah, I switched. If yes, what was the reason? lol see above. Do you ever sleep on your bedroom floor just for fun? God no. Sleeping on the floor is a last resort. Are you worried about your current financial situation? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Do you know anyone who’s had a stillbirth? Probably. Who was the last person you know (or that you know of) that died? Uhhh I'm not sure. Possibly the old lady Mom watched. Do you need a new phone? Desperately. Would you rather get a big tattoo or small tattoo? A big one. Do you identify as a supernatural being..i.e., unicorn, alien, goddess…? Uh no. What’s one thing you are tired of seeing or hearing about on Facebook? Guys I don't understand the "me and the boys" meme laskdfjalwier make it go away. What theme do you want for your wedding? Halloween-ish. What theme would you choose for a baby’s nursery? Idk. I don't want kids, so this isn't something I think about. What color would you paint a baby girl’s nursery? Pastel pink. Not for stereotypical reasons, my favorite color just happens to be pink and I think it's cute for a baby. Does your first crush know that he/she was your first crush? No. Which family member did you get your height from? Mom and I are pretty much the same height. Do you like your butt? NO I have a pancake ass. Who was the last friend of yours to have a baby, and what’s the baby’s name? An old high school friend recently had a baby named Jaspen. Are all of your friends having babies right now? I think most of my old friends have at least one kid by now. Do you know anyone who’s given birth to twins? Yes. Growing up, did you listen to country music? Yes, when my older sister started controlling the radio. Do you have a gazebo at your house? No. Where were you going the first time you rode a plane? Ohio or Michigan. Do you like tomatoes? Not really, no. The only time I ever have was fresh ones with bacon and light mayo on a sandwich. What’s your favorite brand of bottled water? Essentia. Do you have any ceramic animals in your house or outside? Why is there a small dolphin in the corner of our back yard?????? What annoys you more: slow talkers or slow walkers? Slow walkers. Have you ever been to a night club? No. If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Something about being prone to anxiety, I guess. Do you believe in reincarnation? No. Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? Not in the slightest. What is your MBTI personality type? INFP Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No. Is the ocean or sky prettier? Sky. Are you androgynous? No. Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? No. Well I kiss my niece's and nephew's cheeks when telling them bye, but they're the only ones. What is the youngest age you can remember back to? I have at least one memory from when I was two. Did you wear your hair in a ponytail today? It's too short for that. What job would you NEVER take, even as a last resort? Slaughterhouse worker was the first thing to come to mind. If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it on your own? No. What was the shittiest hotel you’ve ever stayed at and why? I don't think I've stayed in a bad one... What was the first kind of alcohol you ever tasted? A daiquiri. Do you use any styling products on your hair? No. Do you have a favorite local band? Who are they? No. What’s the most confusing book you ever read? Even though it's my favorite book, Johnny Got His Gun takes the cake here. The way it's written is very confusing, though I think I get why Trumbo chose such a style. Do you like your personality? I like some things, hate others. Are your legs long or short? I'd say they're proportional to the rest of my body. How many phobias do you have? A lot. Where do you think your last ex is right now? He's probably sleeping since he works 3rd shift. What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve seen in the last week? I don't know. Probably the sky during a car ride or something. Who was the last person to comfort you as you cried? My mom. When was the last time you felt like throwing up? A week ago or so when I had an anxiety attack the night before my first day of work. I got myself so worked up. Have you ever had to wear a hairnet? For the two fucking hours I lasted at my last job lmao. Do you use the Facebook chat often? No. Do you own a robe? What color is it? Nope. Who ended your last relationship? Me. Do you still remember your first kiss? Yeah. Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now? Yeah, other than being long-distance. How many kids do you want to have? None. Have you ever purposely given someone the wrong number? No. Who’s the last person you smoked weed with? I haven't. Though by this point in my life, I wish NC would catch up with the times and legalize it medicinally because I've given up enough to turn to that for my anxiety. Who was the last person you talked to, other than family? My old VR coach. When was the last time you flew in a plane? Last December. Is there a girl you absolutely can not stand? No. At least not off the top of my head. Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? No, I was that person lmao. Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? Yes. Say your last ex walks up to you and hugs you, what do you say? We're still friends, so. At the current time, a random hug from him would probably make me cry though because he's not very affectionate and I haven't been stable for days. I need the comfort alsdjfakljwer Who was the last baby you held? It's probably been like a year since I've held a baby when I was still friends with Colleen. But y'all my sister is pregnant & next year GUESS WHO I'M HOLDING. Do you have any siblings that moved away to college? She did, but she's long since graduated. Who was the last person who cried around you? I'm sure it was Mom. What was the last thing you cried about? My life. Who’s the last guy to give you roses? Tyler. Would you rather have nice eyes or nice lips/smile? Smile, I suppose. Do you have a common first name? Yes. Do you like your middle name or your first name more? My first, I guess. Do you wear more rings or necklaces? I always have a ring on. Have you ever been engaged? No. Can you see your veins through your skin? In some areas. Did your parents let you have pets when you were a kid? Yes. Do you like spicy chips? Yes. What band was on the last band t-shirt you wore? Metallica. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Yes. Have you ever owned or known someone who owned a black cat? Both. Who scheduled your last doctor visit? My mom. I don't drive, so she drives me around, and so things have to fit into her busy schedule. So she just does it. Do you have any holiday themed socks? True shit, I think most of mine are, lmao... Like you know, socks are a common gift on Christmas. What’s the last funny movie you watched? Idr. Can you remember your parents’ birthdays? Yes. What piercing do you like most on the opposite sex? I'd say it depends on the person, but in general, I suppose snakebites? What brand of hair dye do you prefer to use? Splat is the only brand that has ever stuck to my hair. Lasted months. Did/do you ride the bus to and from school? Only Jason's junior and senior years sometimes to go to his house. Are you any good at applying make up? No. I have tremors in my hands, and it makes it an absolute nightmare. Are you someone who likes to make simple things difficult? I certainly don't try to, but I somehow always end up doing it. What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? Rolls and honey ham. And that is /literally/ it. I don't like Thanksgiving food. Do you like Techno music? Yeah. Is your second toe longer than your big toe? They're like the exact same length. Do you say "merry Christmas" or "happy holidays?" The former. Who do you talk to on the phone most often? Mom. What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to? I've only ever been to Alice Cooper, but it was great. I'm supposed to be seeing Ozzy plus supposedly Judas Priest and Megadeth (you're not allowed to die, Dave) next year, and that. That will be. My preview into Heaven. I will sob. How did you meet your best friend? Over YouTube via the meerkat RP community. Do you need money to be happy? Try living really poor and come back to me claiming money can't ever buy happiness. What is something you do well? Dig way, way too deep into absolutely anything and everything. What’s a good idea you’ve had recently? I've started to count calories on top of fasting. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Ahhhhh, cinnamon rolls. How far in advance do you prefer to plan? For most things, a few days or a week. Bigger things, maybe like a month+? How many slices of pizza do you usually eat? 2-3, depending on my appetite. Would you like to live in a different country? If so which one? I wouldn't move there, not with all my family and such here, but I think living in Canada would be better sometimes. Do you prefer the aisle, middle, or window seat on a plane? I strongly prefer the window seat; I've found that if I'm not looking out the window and the plane changes altitude or direction (takeoff is the worst), I get VERY dizzy. I usually always wind up in the middle seat, and there and in the aisle seat, I have to close my eyes at times like those. What’s your favorite song from a movie? As far as original songs, probably "Be Prepared" from The Lion King. A goddamn beat. What’s your favorite city? I haven't been to many. Idk. Who was the last person to ask you to hang out? Did you agree to hang out with them? Hell, I have no idea. Is there a food that you eat basically every day? What food is that? I usually have a granola bar as a snack or even just a meal in place of breakfast or lunch. Is there a food you eat that others find weird or gross? I grew up sometimes eating waffles with peanut butter and syrup as Dad loved it. It's definitely different, but it's absolutely delicious. What was the last fast food restaurant you went to? Did you get anything? If so, what? I think Sonic? I got a double bacon cheeseburger. I fell in love with their burgers. Can you remember the first video game you ever played? What about your first video gaming system? I'm not sure, but it was probably Spyro The Dragon. My first gaming system was a PS1. The last video game you played - did you play alone or with someone else? Alone. If there is a disc in your computer, what disc is it? There isn't one. Do you shut down your computer every time after you use it, or do you leave it on? I leave it on. Do you know anyone who has ever been in a movie? Who and what movie were they in? What was their part? No. Describe the last shirt you saw that you really liked. Where did you see it? Omg I saw this shirt online of a really cool demonic pig that said something like "Save the animals, eat humans." It was actually a vegan shirt, but I nevertheless wanted it, lol. I support veganism, but yeah... I could never do it. But anyway, it was too expensive. Do you live in a very diverse community? Not really, no. Do you know anyone who has had salmonella? Did you ever have it yourself? What about e-coli? No; no; no. When was the last time you brought a pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? Sigh. We put Cali down. Something ruptured in her abdomen and there was also a mass on her liver or gallbladder, and her abdomen was filling with blood. It compressed her lungs so much she could barely breathe. Surgery was extremely expensive, but more importantly, we were told it likely wouldn't save her. Do you get motion sick easily? If so, does it prevent you from going on any rides at amusement parks? I've never gotten motion sickness, but I don't risk that shit with amusement park rides or boats out at sea. I'm terrified of vomiting. Do you have any bug bites on you right now? If so, where? No. Have you ever made your way through a corn maze? No. Name something that you used to do with your family that you no longer do with them or at all? Easter egg painting. Have you seen Inception yet? Thoughts on that movie? I never saw it.

I finally saw Dark Phoenix! Basically I didn’t like it. It met expectations, but my expectations were quite low, so that’s why. I’m sure I’ll rent it someday, but no way is it what I want from an X-men movie. It’s so depressing. How it out-depressed Last Stand, I don’t even know. Also Idk how there was praise for it in the Nightcrawler tag, I swear y’all watched a different movie than me.

spoilers i guess

And that’s sad because actually, up until Mystique died, I was enjoying the story more than I thought I would. The space scene was quite fun. Quicksilver and Nightcrawler’s tag team rescue was cool. The “Who needs phasers when you’ve got Cyclops?” bit was fun too. That scene felt really X-men-like except that Mystique was there of course.

Then they got back and there were accolades, and Xavier was doing something Shifty. That was all good. The party scene. Dazzler. I liked all that. Jean discovering the truth about her family, her emotional reunion with her father, her feelings of betrayal... Then Mystique died, and that’s when I knew there was going to be no more fun. The scene between Beast and Xavier in the kitchen was really well done, I thought, and I loved loved loved Sophie Turner’s Jean. She was a far cry from Apocalypse!Jean. A much more developed, believable character. Sophie Turner did a way better job acting that role than that movie deserves. Once they involved Magneto everything went to hell (not specifically Magneto’s fault, just that’s when the movie stopped being enjoyable for me).

But even if the movie had just been bad, all I really need to be happy is a few good Nightcrawler moments. Apocalypse isn’t a great movie, but it has a few fun Kurt things, so I do rewatch it from time to time. In DP, he had barely any lines. I started counting them at one point. His total number of individual words is probably under 20 in the whole movie. And he doesn’t seem to have grown or changed at all since Apocalypse, even though apparently years have passed. Imagine being that actor and going through all that make-up over and over just to stand around.

People were praising the scene where he goes berserk and kills a bunch of aliens. In reality, he killed like four. And his rage was sparked when... a random soldier dies? Not that that’s not sad but... kind of an extreme reaction. The tail-of-doom thing was stupid.

I did like him attacking Vuk, short-lived as it was. And yeah, he was great in the space rescue early on, even if he didn’t get any more thank yous than he did in Apocalypse, where he was also totally MVP. And the bit where Selene and Xavier fight for control of Kurt’s mind and keep him teleporting back and forth for what ends up being a ridiculously long scene was funny as hell for me, except that it amounted to nothing (”are you ok?” “no” “great now get me inside”). Chauffeur!Kurt was back in business this movie.

Kurt’s my fav, so his lack of quality use bugs me the most, but I can’t forget about Storm, who was underused in spite of having so many reasons to shine. First of all, that actress seems great. I already liked her in Apocalypse and her scenes in DP with Cyclops, the one where she argues with him and the one where she sides with him, both really screamed “Storm!” to me. But that’s it. That and some lightning is all she gets to do. Why couldn’t she have been Jean’s best friend? Why couldn’t she have shown more of her own leader potential? Gah. Wasted opportunity.

Cyclops was less boring than in Last Stand, given that he dies really early on in that one. But that’s all I can say about him. Why they bothered trying to convince us he’s this rebel-type in Apocalypse is beyond me. He’s just Scott in this one. A whiter white boy never existed.

And midway through the movie I COMPLETELY FORGOT QUICKSILVER WAS EVER THERE. Like he got injured and then just vanished. And I forgot he’d even been there at all. That’s how interested I was guys. I forgot about a whole character. One of the fun ones, no less.

Mystique’s death was dumb but I was glad she was gone for the rest of the movie. It’s the little things.

Beast and Magneto’s motivations sucked.

Xavier’s morally grayness was cool and canon stuff. It was good to see him called out. I was so pissed in Apocalypse when he’d mind-wiped Moira and there seemed to be no consequences for it, just because “oh he meant well.” I liked him a lot in this. It was really the Jean and Xavier Show though, which left the rest of the cast to be set dressing. Kind of annoying. The last scene with Xavier and Magneto was nice.

Can definitely see why there were issues with this movie and Captain Marvel, lol. At one point I said, “This movie is like depressing Captain Marvel.”

The aliens were sooo unrelatable. Like get with the program. No one wants evil aliens who want to destroy the world anymore. They murder people and torture them for their knowledge, and though their numbers are few thanks to the Phoenix Force, even that doesn’t make me sympathetic because they just act like bastards and use everyone and have no relatable moments.

The final battle scene was So. Long. I can handle in with MCU movies because they throw quips around and stuff, plus the rest of the movie has earned the final battle. None of that here, just punching and explosions.

This is just such a sad way for the X-men movies to go out. Can only hope that when they reboot, whenever that will be, however many years out, that they’ll finally get it right. Such a shame, because I really did like this team - at last it felt like a real X-team, and I totally could have gotten behind movies that actually developed the cast. Instead it was like Apocalypse was their birth and DP was their finale, and everything in between is just a mystery. OH WELL.

V scenario to fighting with you and breaking up.

Sooo, this one took me a while to write too, only cause I don’t want to hurt this little puppy, but anyways, hope you enjoy ~~~~

(Credits to gif owners)

This week was harsh, you knew it was like this but working and studying was harder than it was made out to be, your uni decided that it would be a great idea to start a whole uni project, it was something only your uni seemed to do, it was held every few months, and unless you broke a limb, you couldn’t miss it, you just returned from a long 2 weeks of Just volunteering, this was the project, it took everything within you, to not just crush and breakdown as soon as you entered your apartment.

It was cold, no one had been in it since 2 weeks ago, the rent price seemed like such a waste, but you decided complaining wouldn’t solve anything, you were back on the night shifts, and just hours before a part time waiter, the school was expensive, not only that, but the 2 weeks you’d lost, really would take a toll on you, you wanted nothing more than just to rest, but you had money that you had to make, so you got up without a sound, quickly got changed, and ran out the door because again, you were on the brink of being late.

Your boyfriend kim taehyung, really missed you when you were gone for that long, he wanted to do nothing more than just to hug and kiss you, so he waited patiently for you to call or text him, but you didn’t, another week would pass and he was sure that you would be back by this time, but, it seemed like you were way too busy for anyone.

Some how you found the time out of your hectic schedule to meet with v, to say you didn’t miss him just as much as he missed you, would be a lie, you missed his silly smiles, and the way he’d just annoy the hell out of you, but you liked it.

It was the only thing that was annoying but also soothing all at once,

But,

Being so busy, you didn’t notice his slowly drifting smile,

“Y/n,”

“Yes, tae give me 2 seconds I’ll be done”

He sighed, you knew he hated it when you studied while he was with you, he just wanted to watch movies and cuddle with you

“Are you done? You said 2 seconds it’s been like 20”

You smiled finding his whines cute

“Okay, I’m done, come here, did you miss me that much?” He smiled wide, and slide in between your arms.

If only you knew that he’d be this hurt, you wouldn’t have agreed on dating him, you knew how much, or how little time you were spending with him,

“Come on y/n cant I come over, I really miss you”

“Tae, it’s too late, and we both have work in the next 10 hours, it won’t be good for any of us”

“You always say that, please”

You gave into his requests and told him, that if he came over you two were going to sleep and that was it.

You went to the door and greeted him, he was looking more down than usual,

“Tae, what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“Y/n do you still have feelings for me, or did you ever?”

You knew where this was going, he was breaking, he was missing you, but you couldn’t be there to comfort his scars.

“Tae, I still love you, I would never stop”

“Then why? Why do you not have any time for me? Why? I’m so lonely here, you know, I get jealous of jungkook sometimes, he tells me how his dates with his girlfriend was, and I can’t tell him anything cause I myself, haven’t seen you in what? 2 weeks? Again? Y/n what are we?”

You walked over to him, knowing how hurt he was, but you were selfish

“No tae, please don’t say that, please, I love you, so freaking much”

“No y/n, I think we need some time off, as single, I want to see if waiting for you is worth it, or if I can be happy too” your head hang low, knowing what he meant, you nodded and headed back towards your bedroom, your body was going through so much already, you stopped midway

“Y/n?”

You were so tired, from both studying and working, and that constant fear of loosing him, but when it happened, it was all too much, you were physically not capable of holding yourself together anymore, you felt dizzy, taehyung sensed that something was wrong, and he walked over to you, and stood in front of you

“Y/n?” You collapsed, it was a good thing tae was in front of you, because otherwise you would’ve fallen hard on the floor, he called the ambulance not knowing what else to do with your heart beat pulsating like crazy, it felt like it could give in and fail your own body.

When you awoke it was morning, there was a bouquet of white roses on your side table, the familiar smell of medicine covered the surface of your nose, you always hated that smell

“Y/n? Your awake? Oh thank goodness, I thought you would never wake back up”

“I’m sorry, I worried you again didn’t I, even when were on a break”

“What break? Y/n what are you on about?”

“You wanted, to take time off, I understand if you still want that”

“Y/n, do you think I really would want that? I was in a fit of anger, not being able to see the one I love for so long, it drove me nuts and when you didn’t want me to come over, I guess I just craved your affection”

You lifted your hands to his face and caressed his beautiful cheeks, you pulled him in closer to you, before he freaked out

“Hey, y/n be careful, you’ll hurt the baby”

You looked at him, not knowing what he meant by baby

“What tae? What baby?” He smiled at you, which made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy

“Y/n, your pregnant, that’s why you were more tired than usual, thank you, thank you so much, for keeping our baby safe”

He hugged you, carefully.

“Tae, I, i. Had no idea, I could’ve caused so much harm to it”

“Her, it’s a girl, and no, I’m sorry, I’m sorry for not being there enough, just please stay by my side, and I swear everything will be better, and their not taking you to that volunteering stuff, your staying here right next to me.”

So this one was a lot more different than the other ones, hope you like it, as if you do make sure to let me know and request away~

(Before I go, do you like longer scenarios more, or shorter scenarios more like this one, or do you like a mixture of both, let me know)

Rant that I wanna get off my chest

Sooo idk about how I’m feeling at the moment. I’ve been quite slow with processing, thinking and just generally understanding everything that’s going on around me. I feel like I’m become dumber by the day and I don’t know what to do. I feel like I could stare at a running tap all day lost in my thoughts and distractions and I would literally not notice. I want to get into med. God it’s one of my biggest dreams and goal in life. I so fucking want it bad but the thing is I keep doing average in my units at uni. I’m in second year doing medical science which isn’t even the med course and I’m doing average. How the fuck am I going to get a good gpa and get into the uni I want for grad med?

There are these “friends” that I attempted to make at uni. One has gotten close to me but she always bitches, complains, talks shit or starts beef with literally anyone and just straight up wastes your time, lies and doesn’t give a single fuck about you. It’s that person that is very bubbly and was the one who got you connected with literally the whole friendship group/ groups with 20+ people. So I can’t just cut her off because the people I hang out with also hang out with her.

Then there’s this guy, he had me intrigued the first time I met him. He’s always in his head but he’s absolutely gorgeous but ugly at the same time. He claims he has no patience but he is so patient and kind but honest. He’s in the uni sporting team, manages to balance work and uni while still getting good marks and has an amazing concentration and is quick to grasp concepts. I’m honestly so fucking jealous of him. I’m very jealous because I want his life but Idk how to feel about him. He’s taken already but I feel bad because I love spending time with him??? Idk I’m just frustrated that he doesn’t even give a fuck about what I have to say. Like I don’t even rant half of the time and the convo is still boring. It’s only when I turn the focus on him he becomes interested and that sorta annoys me because I’d expect that at least as a friend, you’d listen to me for a bit even if it’s me pathetically talking about shit just for a second. But no, I have no one that I can talk to without feeling like a therapist half of the time I’m hanging out with people. “ oh really? How do you like it?...yeah?...What’s fun about it?...tell me more...”

Like honestly I’m at the point where I give up on everything. I’ve been to a psychologist and she was fucking shit and I still can’t sort out my head. I don’t have good friends that will support or listen to me and while I’m so full with gratitude that I have a roof under my head and food, shelter and all the essentials, every time I think about going home I want to die. I hate home, I dislike my parents and I don’t want to be around them or my siblings. I wish I could move out but I’m not allowed. I wish at least I can get a bf but that’s not even allowed. Like I’d love to at this point just have someone there to support me because I can’t keep doing this by myself. I thought I could and I kept denying the company of people in general and I’ve shut people out for so long but idk how much I can take by myself. All I want is for that one person to give me a smile and hug me tight at the end of a fucked up and emotionally draining day and tell me that I can do this and that it’s okay that I got a pass instead of distinction on that fucking physiology quiz that I spend 7+ hours studying for and ended up fucking it because I couldn’t take it anymore.

I want to hang out after uni with someone instead of pretend that I need to go home that very second after the prac ends and join my friend/lab partner just because I pathetically needed that last bit of company before I’m left alone with my draining thoughts. They rush off to catch the train and I follow along and pretend that I also want to get home quick but really I don’t. All I want to do on those Friday evenings is get a box of fried chicken and chips and sit someehere outside with beer and just have a wholesome chat with someone because of how stressful that day was before disappearing off into that last hours of the Friday till Sunday killing myself with study.

The only reason I fucking decide to take the same train as you even though it will take me longer to get home, is because I hate taking the train by myself because it’s boring and I’m stuck with my thoughts. I want to just talk and not think about anything but nope. That’s fine, I’m bothersome I know and you’ve had to deal with my bullshit these last few weeks, yeah I’m sorry but it’s because I’m becoming all messy on the inside and it’s leaking out. I’m sorry I’m not that “smart chick that was ontop of everything and gets everything” from the start of the year but as you make it further in the semester you just break bit by bit.

I don’t even know what my personality is like, I don’t know myself that much tbh and I guess my search for my identity is really starting to hit the ball because I don’t know who I am. I really don’t know. And at this point I’m losing it. I see everyone having their shit together and I’m on the sideline pretending like everything’s okay when really everything’s falling apart bit by bit.

I wish I can be the same cold person I was last year, not dependent on friends or contact with people. Just able to be content by myself. Because most of the time I’m thinking about how incompetent I am when making friends, being a good friend, or being a good student in general. That’s mostly what’s in my head majority of the time. Ugh, I’m just so sick and done with myself.

I’m just sick of me.

I’m not sorry for the long rant. I didn’t force you to read my shitty thoughts. I just have nowhere to express them. Idc if you read it or not tbh. It’s up to you. Thanks x

Random DA:O Thoughts - Pt 11.

I finally did the opinions and I care about you talks with Alistair, and SAVED :O haha I’ve been watching them multiple times then loading so I hadn’t locked it in yet. It’s official; Norua and Alistair are a couple. <3

God I love him. You know how much I love him? Enough to travel to several merchants so he’d have matching silverite armour. I’m sorry but I’m not going to have him in a silverite breast plate with red steel gloves and boots. :P

I gave Al the locket. The only thing that changed with giving him the locket after saving the Arl, was that he said he’d have to talk to him once he saw him again. Instead of saying he’d have to talk to him if he survived.

Haha Leliana complemented Morrigan on her boobs. She wants to go shopping with her. She’s so sweet ^^

Leliana is obsessed with shoes. I love that!

(continued from Part 10 about the Sacred Ashes quest) There was a dragon egg, I got so excited haha. Thought I’d get a dragon. But nope, just a necklace and something else inside it. Can’t even use the necklace cause it’s for a blood mage.

Dragon! arrrggghhh!

Tried to fight the dragon. Got it’s health half down then it ate me. Should have listened to Alistair’s warning lol.

Into the main temple now. :D

The guardian knight is cool! He had comments to say on all of us.

Poor Alistair wishes he could have gone to the battle to protect Duncan, and would have died instead. :( That makes me so sad! I’m hoping at some point I find something to give to him that’d remind him of Duncan. I might need to buy that dlc.

Leliana’s was quite brutal. Wynne’s wasn’t as bad.

This test reminds me heaps of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade haha.

All the riddles were cool. :) There was a guy named Thane.

Man Jowan is everywhere! Now he’s haunting me as a spirit.

Holy crap I have to fight myself :/ died twice. Fighting myself is hard. Beat her on the 3rd try. I targeted her first since she was blasting us with her spells. Damn you, Norua!

Had to do a cool bridge puzzle, where you had to step on stones to activate the bridge pieces. You would need to leave one character on a stone then swap between characters to move them as well. Cracked me up when I discovered the key to the puzzle with Alistair cause he was super excited!

Omg they made us take all our clothes off! XD ahahaha. We had to walk through the fire.

Found the ashes! Wow I’m so impressed with this quest. It had a lot of depth. The Knight guard said we were worthy, so I took a pinch of the ashes. Apparently you can defile the ashes. I never came across the guy who asks you to do that though. Just made me think of the warden grabbing a handful haha.

Brother Genitivi wants to spread the word of the ashes. I said it probably wasn’t a good idea. All companions agreed with me, especially Alistair who was sarcastic and said “Like the urn has a never ending supply of ashes?”. I decided to kill him which I immediately regretted lol. She threw a freaking dagger straight into his skull :O It was so gross! Al didn’t lose points, but Wynne and Leliana did. I decided to load and picked the “Okay but if it goes wrong it’s your fault” option haha.

Went straight to Redcliffe Castle after to save the Arl. I’m glad we were able to help him. He thought the whole thing was a dream. As a reward he made us champions or something. Then he proposed a land meet (I’ve heard of that before I think). I told him to hand Jowan over to the circle. Not sure what will happen to him. Oh yeah also he wants Alistair to be King. Every single time it is brought up, Al is adament he doesn’t WANT to be king. So I’m not going to push him.

In Denerim again now just doing a bunch of sidequests. Also will take Al to see his sister.

So the drake scales are for a guy named Wade. I went away and did a bunch of back alley side quests then it was done. He is so funny! “Yooou MUST bring me mooore drake scaaales!”

Al said he had a golem doll when he was young from a shop called The Wonders of Thedas. Thought I could get him one but nope. Sucky!

Omg Al’s Sister is such a cow! Poor Alistair. I even said he could give her money. She didn’t say thanks. Just kept going on about how he was a prince and he should give her more money blah blah blah. That he killed her mum. What the fuck! He was a BABY! I’m so mad! I said to her: “That’s hardly his fault!” then she called me a tart or something. Al was like: “Hey don’t speak to her like that!” Can’t believe I wasted 15 gold on her.

Outside now. Poor guy. I saw that hardening option but yeah, I picked to tell him that he doesn’t need her, that people care about him. He said the only one who cared about him was Duncan, to which I said: “I care about you” :)

Bought a new staff. It’s really cool! Literally haha. Has an ice enchantment on it. Love it! Also bought a new robe. I love shopping in games!

Wynne loves doggo :) they have cute convos.

Omg after Al said thanks for helping with his sis (well for being there for him) he told me he loves me. Squuueeeeeee!! <3

Back at camp. A cutscene automatically began. Al awkwardly asking if he can spend the night together in the tent. Yes! I’m so happy. I headcanon Norua as a virgin too cause she spent her life in the tower when she was very young. Plus it wasn’t something she thought of that much, she was too interested in her magic studies. When she did, she’d always dreamed of waiting for the right guy. Anyway I’m glad I waited for Alistair to make the first move. Also I’m soo happy it wasn’t right before some big battle. I kinda get sick of that sometimes. How they only have sex right before the “we might die” mission. It was magical and beautiful <3 I’ve watched it about 20 times now haha. It sucked tho cause the kiss scene before the love scene was glitched. Al was rubbing his hands in front of the fire and Norua was kissing the air lol. I think it’s the digital copy cause I loaded and redid it many times and it still happened. Oh well! Then after the love scene he said what if people talked, to which i replied if they did I’d feed them to the darkspawn myself. He said: “SEE! This is why I love you!” hehehe. Then he told her again he loved her again. He’s such a sweetheart.

Did anyone else keep Alistair’s original shield and sword? They take up room but I can’t bring myself to sell them. I feel like they’d mean something to him. His shield he received when he was training to be a templar, and the sword he received when he became a grey warden. Maybe he wouldn’t use them anymore but they’d have meaning to him.

Now that Al said he loves me, he says: “Something you need, my dear?” when you talk to him. So cute!

Doing the back alleys is good for money.

Spoke to a hooded courier, all he said was: “Our good friendship is guaranteed.” Who the hell is this guy?

Okay haha I worked it out. It’s a quest with the Blackstone Irregulars.

It’s strange but I can go back into Goldanna’s house, she’s cleaning the floor. I wonder if her name has meaning… cause she’s a gold digger.

Lol Sten said Ferelden smelled like a wet dog. So I said: “Don’t forget the garbage” and he said: “Ah don’t remind me” hehe.

Killed Flemeth. Whoa she was hard. I was THIS close to dying. I literally had a slither left of health and so did she. I’m so glad I didn’t die cause that would have been sooo annoying!!

Aww Morrigan is my friend :) It was a nice chat. She said she might not always prove worthy of the friendship but she would always value it.

Doing the wardens keep dlc now. Soldiers peak is creepy! It was a fun and kinda shocking quest. Now I have a party chest! Thank the Maker!

I had a star metal sword made for Al called Starfang. Looks awesome!!

317.

Do you have a sensitive gag reflex? nah, it’s normal i guess.

Where are you the most ticklish? my neck.

Can you manage to tickle yourself? haha no.

What was the last situation to upset you? all through saturday i had a pretty weak stomach and my boyfriend insisted we eat indian food for dinner that night. i was sick the entirety of sunday. it sucked.

Have you ever had an online argument? yeah years ago hahahaha.

Do you like to listen to music while filling out surveys? not usually.

Do you ever eat/drink while you fill them out? sometimes.

Have you ever done a survey whilst high or drunk? How’d it go? yep haha. it was fine.

Are you at risk for any medical issues? not that i know of.

Is there anything near you that’s considered dangerous? not really.

What is just down the hall from where you’re located? the bathroom.

Do you ever do surveys at other peoples’ houses? nah.

Do any of your friends know you fill out surveys? nope.

What is your least favorite question to answer? just stupid yes/no questions or boring questions like ‘who’s the last person you kissed’ etc.

How long do you spend on the phone each day, on average? hardly.

Is anything in your hair right now, like gel, hairspray, etc.? nope.

Name something unusual located near to you? wasabi peas.

Would you try to be a hero in a hostage situation? not really but i’d definitely try devise a plan.

When was the last time you were up before the sun? omg i don’t even remember.

Do you like wearing sunglasses? Why or why not? yes.

Where’s the best place to get your favorite dish? korean bbq.

When are you most likely to fill out a survey? before i sleep.

What’s the last thing you put in your mouth? water.

Last person you rode in a car with under the age of 20? my sister.

Last time you walked further than a block? yesterday.

Do you chew on your hair? nope.

Is there an upcoming concert you want to go to? yes, bryson tiller. tickets were impossible to get.

Is technology outsmarting humans? it’s headed that way.

Would you ever want to be a ventriloquist? no.

Is there anything you can’t stop thinking about? i guess.

Are you worried about anything? no.

Do you have a nasty taste in your mouth right now? no.

What flavor [in general] is your favorite? anything savoury idk.

What day is garbage day? thursday morning.

What is your favorite musical? aladdin was great.

Are you afraid of death? only sudden death.

Have you tried those new banana creme oreos? nope.

Do you take painkillers every time you have a headache? yes because i never ever get headaches. so when i do, i complain.

Have you ever lied about your sexual past? no.

Have you kissed somebody in the last 2 weeks? yes.

Who’s the last person’s house you went to & stayed? an airbnb.

How’s your ex doing? no ex.

What’s annoying you right now? that work won’t give up some shifts.

Have you ever watched a movie drunk? yes.

What are you doing tonight? nothing.

Are you tired? not yet.

What kind of socks do you have on? no socks.

What color is your underwear? green.

What will you do Sunday? getting my lashes redone.

Does your family own any mansions? no.

Do you have any interesting bruises or scars? nothing interesting.

Where were you at noon today? at home.

How long does it take you to get ready to go out? probably an hour. if i have wash my hair then definitely longer.

Have you been outside of the US? i live outside of the usa.

Last show you watched? riverdale.

Next vacation you’re going on? nothing planned.

Who’s your best friend from out of the state you live in? ummm no one haha. irene when she used to live in london.

Will you be under the influence of alcohol today? no.

Do you regret doing anything you’ve done this week? nope.

Last night you felt? shitty.

What are you wearing right now? pyjamas.

Do you want to see somebody right now? yes.

What were you doing 1:00 a.m. this morning? coming home from work.

Were you single on your last birthday? no.

Have you ever kissed underneath the stars? i think so.

What are you doing now? this and watching riverdale.

When is your birthday? dec 5.

What are you listening to? riverdale.

What plans do you have for tonight? yes.

What’s the very first thing you do when you wake up, other than breathe? check the time and pee.

Do you like reading? yes.

Do you ever think about stuff and start crying? no.

Last time you had a sleepover? on the weekend.

Dark hair or light hair in the opposite sex? dark.

Have you ever been awake for more than 2 nights straight? i have, but i’ve slept during the day.

Ever kissed anyone who was one of your friends? yeah.

Do you own a pair of Converse? yes.

Do you eat cookie dough? yes.

Have you ever kicked a vending machine? no.

When’s the last time you had gummy bears? i don’t remember. i don’t really like them.

Do people consider you smart? some people do.

Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone? haha back as a teenager.

Do you know someone who likes you? yes.

Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you? yes.

Like anyone more than a friend? yes.

Have you ever just felt like giving up? no.

Have you ever stayed up very late talking to the person you like[d]? yessss.

Have your parents ever not approved of someone? not really.

Do you think the last person you kissed has feelings for you? yes.

How much money did you spend today? $0.

Is your best friend a slut? no.

Are you happier now than you were last year? hmm not really actually.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? my boyfriend.

Do you own any Batman movies? no.

Is there anything in your past that you’d like to try again? sure.

Are you missing anyone? yes.

Is anyone else in the room with you? no.

How do you feel right now? bored.

Does anyone call you baby? yes.

Will you talk to the person you like tonight? yeah i already have.

What were you doing at 7:00 a.m.? sleeping.

Did you and your mom ever have a big fight that caused you to move out? no.

Would you ever date someone who was absolutely gorgeous/handsome but thought they were better than everyone? no.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 2 months from now? yes.

Do you remember who you liked on New Year’s? yes.

Do you have empty bottles of alcohol hidden somewhere? nope.

What grade is the last person you texted in? they’re not in school anymore.

Have you changed in the past 6 months? yes.

Would you rather love one person or have many short relationships? one person.

First and middle name please. no thanks.

Do you think you’re wasting your time on the person you like? hopefully not.

Are your nails painted a dark or light color? dark.

Is there something written on your shirt right now? no.

Is there a bookshelf in your room? no.

Is there a garbage can in your room? What color is it? yeah, turquoise.

Have you ever read in the bathtub? yes.

What do you use to remove your makeup at night? makeup wipes and then micellar water.

Have you ever had to wear a hairnet? yes.

What day of the week does the laundry usually get done? it depends when there’s a full load to go in.

What channel is the Food Network? i dont have it.

Do you still write in pencil? no.

Do you eat onion rings? hardly even though i love them.

When did you last go to the zoo? less than a year ago but im going this weekend again.

How many cardigans do you own? quite a few. maybe 6-8?

Do you own a robe? no.

Who did you last have a text conversation with, and what was it about? my boyfriend. just about work.

Do you have a mailbox or do you collect your mail from the post office? mailbox.

Have you ever had an ear infection? yes.

What’s your favorite thing to order when you get Chinese food? honey chicken.

How many different shades of nail polish do you have? sooo many. i have two shelves full of it.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? nothing.

Is your hair naturally straight, curly, or wavy? wavy.

Can you cook for yourself? yeah.

Have you ever snuggled with someone you weren’t dating? no.

Would you consider yourself heartless? no.

Do you ever wish you were the opposite sex? no.

Ever been suspended from school? no.

Have you ever read any of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books? haha yes i used to love them.

Last person you were in the car with? myself.

How tall are you? 5′4″

Do you want to cut your hair? not really.

Don’t tell me lies. Is the last person you texted attractive? yes.

Do you regret anything? yes.

If you found out you were pregnant who would you tell first? my boyfriend.

When was the last time you saw the person you last kissed? sunday.

Have you ever been called a tease? no.

What are your chances of getting with your crush? pretty high since we’re dating.

What do you want in your life right now? a new job. a liftestyle change i guess.

When was the last time you laughed so hard you thought you were going to cry? on the weekend.

What exactly did you drink the last time you were intoxicated? wine.

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? sorta.

Do you miss the way things used to be? yes.

Write random lyrics to the song you’re listening to: not listening to music.

Do you remember every single person that you’ve kissed? yes.

How many people have you kissed this year? one.

What should you be doing right now? nothing.

Do you have a reason to smile right now? of course.

What is your best friend’s Mom’s name? patricia.

ALL THE QUESTIONS

WHOAAAAA ok here we go!

1. Would you have sex with the last person you texted?

No i am not really into orgies… i imagine they are quite confusing. (It was a group chat)

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

No, we don’t talk anymore.

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

no

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

it’s important for me but i am big on the oversharing! so i tendt to trust people easily and then later regret having told them stuff

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

i don’t really like anyone right noww, sadly. A crush can be fun

6. What are you excited for?

Going abroad to Dublin for a half a year! although i still need a place and i will leave in septemeber

7. What happened tonight?

not much yet, i woke up quite late and since then i procrastinated the shit out of the day! 

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

No! my main thought would be to look out for them, because being a wasted girl can be fucking dangerous and if it happens more often i may ask them if there is something that i can help them with, you know if there is an alternative motive then just enjoying oneself! And if she likes loosing control like that, than that’s fine, who am i to judge her? 

9. Is confidence cute?

yes! i think confidence is attractive and cute and i don’t like the way women are told it’s not cute. And that a confident woman is a slut or a bitch or conceited. As long as that confidence doesn’t make you look down on other people its good. It is also ok to be shy. Basically what i am saying is you do you and you are perfect and good and cute regardless of confident or shy

10. What is the last beverage you had?

coca cola

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

yes

13. What are you gonna do saturday night?

going out to eat with my mum and talk. 

14. What are you gonna spend money on next?

groceries ( i know very unspectacular)

15.  are you going out with the last person you kissed?

no

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

Yes, i hope so! i hope i can work out that issue i have and just move past it and go strong into my semester abroad. (i also belive in constant growth, soo yeah everyone changes in 3 months)

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about everything?

My mum and best friend! 

18. The last time you felt broken?

Puhhh a few months back i uncovered something quite dark and i am not done with it, so i still feel broken sometimes when i look at it. (sorry for being so cryptic but i am not ready yet to go public with that)

19 Have you had sex today?

nope

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

yes, that i am stronger than i think and i can survive this. 

21 Are you in a good mood?

Generally yeah, but a bit stressed and anxious due to the paper i need to write

22 Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

No i don’t think so, i am a real big chicken and am fucking afraid of sharks, which is a unreasoned fear, and i love to educate myself about sharks and stuff and i am fro their rescue and saftey, but i don’ want to SWIM with them, maybe look at them from a boat!

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

no, i have the eyes from my mum

24. What do you want right this second?

Being done with this semester, especially that dreadful paper!

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another person?

That depends, if it would be emotional ‘cheating’ not cool, i would get out of that relationship. But if it happened while intoxicated or something then it would be a wake up call to address the issue that was the reason of that happening. I believe love is not something that just stays you do need to work on it and commit and not run away when confronted with difficulties. 

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair?

Kinda. Its blond but the ends are lighter. I will go cotton candy pink in the summer though.

27. Would you be able to date somebody who wouldn’t make you laugh?

No, what would you do? just talk about deep stuff ALL the time? no i need somebody i can have fun with as well as deep conversations etc. 

28.What was the last thing that made you laugh?

I can’t really remember, something some of my friends said and the last night of the festival. we laughed so much, which was nice bc at that point i was a bit annoyed by everything and that was just a wonderful break of that and a wonderful ending to an exciting weekend

29. Do you really,truly miss someone right now?

I always miss my mum and dad and my tight knit friend group at home. I miss the spontaneity to meet up or the nights of conversation on the balcony or couch with my mum after i return from work or a party or something.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

I think so! i believe humans are in general inherently good. But it should only be a second chance. When it comes to relationship i think thats especially important, as you also need to look out for yourself. And concerning prisons for example the second chance should be a REAL second chance, and not be designed for the inmates to fail at rehabilitation.

31. Honestley do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

No, not at all! quite the contrary, he is a sweetheart! Also if i hate someone (which also is quite the strong word) i would keep talking to them.

32. Doesn’t apply, i do not have a person i like right now

33. Are you one of those people who never drink soda?

no, i once regularly drank cola, like every night. Those were the good days when i could still afford them :P

34. Listening to?

Imagine dragons-gold

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? 

I normally prefer to write in pencil

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

no

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No i only believe in attraction at first sight! love, in my opinion, is something that develops over time.

38. Who did you last call?

My mum, yesterday, although technically she called me but i can’t remember beyond that.

39.  Who was the last person you danced with?

a friend of mine at the festival 

40. Why did you kissed the last person you kissed?

because it was summer, i was in L.A. and felt adventurous (he wasn’t the best kisser, tho, so disappointment there)

 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

Way too long ago :(

42. Did you hug/kiss any of your parents today?

sadly no beacuase i live in the netherlands and they are in germany.

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of your crush?

I can’t remember a specific thing, but who doesn’t? 

44. Do you tan in the nude?

I don’t tan ind general, i am the whitest white person, i get sunburned after like 5 min in the sun….

45. If you could would you take back your last kiss?

Hmm, i normally would nevre take something back that i’ve done (that didn’t hurt somebody else) bc i believe all those things shaped me into the person i am today, but i may take the kiss and give it to somebody else that i met just days later. He deserved that kiss so much more

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep tonight?

no, i was alone and i loved it

47. Who was the last person to call you?

my mum

48. Do you sing in the shower?

Do you pee on the toilet? YES of course i do, a shower with out a private concert is not a shower its just sad

49 do you dance in the car?

Again WHO doesn’t? my moves are the greatest joy on a car ride! my mum and me had the best dance sessions while waiting for a green light!

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

Yes and it was sooo long ago, at least 10 years! It was at a class trip and extreme fun.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

technically i can’t remember, but last year a friend of mine who is a photographer came on a roadtrip with me and also took some photos of myself. Does that count?

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

There are cheesy musicals for sure, but Hamilton was fucking amazing and i would call it cheesy. In general i enjoy musicals, cheesy or not

53. Is chrismas stressfull?

it can be, but i still love it and once everyone is sitting around the table and ate its the relaxing and fun and nice to have everyone around

54. Ever ate a pierogi?

No but maybe tis will change now that i have a teeny tiny polish cousin

55. Fav type of fruit pie?

Apple

56. Occupations you wanted to be when a kid?

The usual, doctors but after discovering i would need to put down animals and see blood i very quickly diverted my interest into becoming a flight attendant just like my dad. 

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

No

58. Ever have a deja-vu feeling?

waaaaay too often! when i wrote this i had one… and they range from very specific to rather unspecific, like just a feeling

59. Take a vitamine daily?

i try and that reminds me…

60. Wear slippers?

since i moved out, yes. because students aren’t the tidiest

61. Wear a bathrope?

nope

62. What do you wear to bed?

shirt and undies

63. First concert?

Anastacia with my dad

64. Wal-mart, target or k-mart?

i think wal-mart. but target is not bad either

65. Nike or adidas?

neither, converse

66. Cheetos or frietos?

no idea what frietos, so neither?

67. Peanuts or sunflower seeds?

both

68. Fav taylor swift song?

puhhh, 22? i am not sure actually

69. Ever taken dance lessons?

Yes, i started with ballet and then moved on to videodancing. So i danced since i was 8 or 9. i also did a stint in traditional stuff like waltz and stuff but that did not last long. and i tried out some dance lessons when i moved away to uni

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

no

71 Can you curl your tongue?

yes

73 Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

yes! for example when i cam back from my half a year abroad in australia and my best friends picked me up and had a banner and everything.

74 What is your fav book?

so many…. Harry potter and dash and lily’s book of dares are the ones that come to my mind spontaneously but a lot more have shaped my life in significant ways and would be counted as my favs

75 Do you study better with or without music?

Depends on the topic

76 Regularly burn incense?

no

77 Ever been in love?

yes, once

78 Who would you like to see in concert?

Imagine dragons, again! they are just so fucking amazing live and in my eyes even better than on their albums. Lorde i would also like to see again. but mainly imagine dragons right now. Oh and young the giant

79. What was the last concert you saw? 

Casper (a german rapper) who closed the hurricane festival on sunday. 

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

middle ground but leaning towards cold

81 Tea or coffe?

tea

82 Fav type of cookie?

fresh subways cookies

83 Can you swim well?

i think so? I never thought about it… but i guess i don’t drown so i cant be that bad

84 Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

yes

85 Are you patient?

i like to believe i am, most of the time

86 DJ or band at a wedding?

i don’t know, i guess dj then you can request stuff and there is no time limit for the music? 

87 Ever won a contest?

i don’t think so

88 Ever has plastic surgery?

no

89 Which are better black or green olives?

none, i hate olives

90 Opinions of sex before marriage?

Yes, do it if you want and feel comfortable with it, but i won’t judge you if you choose otherwise as long as you don’t judge other people or try to push your believes on them i am fine with whatever.

91 Best room for a fireplace?

from the top of my head i would have said living room but i think it could also be cool in the bedroom

92 Do you want to get married?

if i meet the right guy and it feels right, then why not

Puhh that was ALOT!

your turn :D ALL TE QUESTIONS