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eepyuii · 4 months

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frostbite — pt. 8

pairing ; childe x gender neutral! reader

content ; childhood friends to “rivals” to lovers, slowburn-ish

cw ; none

notes ; listen guys. i can explain. rly tho, i’ve been horribly busy with school stuff and for a long time i wasn’t rly inspired to write but i got SOME free time now and managed to finish this bad boy up!

sadly, kind of a boring chapter imo, just a LOT of continuing childe’s story quest. i’ve mentioned a bunch of times before how i hate writing by the quest dialogue and how tedious it is and i believe that’s partially why i couldn’t continue writing for a bit. anyway, i promise i’ll try to get the next chapter out sooner as next chapter WILL have some things i’m looking forward to writing LOL

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the bright high noon sun shines against the blades of grass in the hills of qingxu pool, making the greenery seem like shards of vibrant emerald. the very same sun, unfortunately, nearly causes you to melt right then and there- with impossible steep peaks to cross and a whole child in your arms to carry. teucer had fallen asleep in your arms somewhere along the trip and he still snores soundly as you round up to the location childe had referred to earlier and where you immediately spot him, as well as some other men.

“found him! there’s childe!” paimon exclaims as she floats on ahead, effectively waking up teucer at the mention. he tries to move around and gather in his surroundings within your hold, sleepy eyes adjusting to the light once more.

as you get closer to the group, you find that the men childe is speaking to are… treasure hoarders. and it certainly didn’t look like the friendliest of exchanges, some kind debt collecting that lunatic does. you hear half of a taunt coming from childe when you approach earshot.

“…i suppose i should forgive you country bumpkins for your ignorance, for i am-“

“brother!” teucer yells excitedly and the harbinger freezes in his tracks the next second.

“you’re selling them toys, aren’t you, brother? that’s so cool, i’ve always wanted to watch you work!”

childe stammers. “w-why yes, of course! for i am, uh…

…the greatest toy salesman in snezhnaya!”

oh, for the tsaritsa’s sake. this time, you truly cannot fight the involuntary reaction within your muscles to facepalm at his half-assed save, if you can even call it that. though, what makes it worse is when he raises his fists triumphantly, clapping as if there was nothing wrong with what he said.

“so cool!”

“…huh?” says one of the treasure hoarders.

“you playin’ games, pretty boy?” goes another and you snort at the nickname.

“so, will you buy, or not? the toys that snezhnaya produced three months ago will run you.. yes, six hundred thousand mora- to be paid in full.”

another treasure hoarder chokes on his breath. “t-toys..? a-and how much mora…?”

“wow, is that what it’s gonna cost to fix that head of yours?”

the three hoarders bark out in mocking laughter. childe doesn’t seem to be dissuaded in the slightest, in fact his eyes drop into a lethally serious glare.

“i’ll say it again- toys from snezhnaya. three months prior. six hundred thousand mora. paid in full.”

“yeah… no, sorry, salesboy. the same joke isn’t funny twice. or were you always cruisin’ for a bruisin’?”

the harbinger sighs. “alright then, i’ll make things a little easier for you- i’ll join the treasure hoarders. perhaps you’ll be more willing to pay when we’re brothers-in-arms?”

you frown, slightly skeptical of childe’s methods of negotiation. however, you know better than anyone that childe, for all that he seems, is not an idiot. he’s just as aware of the means as he is of the ends and he wouldn’t be making statements like those with such certainty for nothing.

“hah- would you listen t’yourself?! you think we just let any old person into the treasure hoarders? i’m not so sure you could hack it…”

“heh, well then, why don’t you put me to the test, dear seniors? i like to think of myself as quite talented in the field of treasure hunting.”

“hmm.. looks like you’re not gonna pack it up until someone packs you in. alright then, show us what you got.”

the leading treasure hoarder proceeds with the proposition of a challenge where childe would have to collect some loot on a nearby hill within a time limit set by them. while you could see the hill from where you were, it was impossibly far to reach on foot in such a short amount of time. a tinge of worry creeps into the back of your neck and you shoot childe a concerned look, which he receives like he’s perfectly understood your silent doubts.

in return, he only cheekily winks to you and takes off.

he expertly uses the powerful gusts of wind shooting nearby to cut the path toward the hill in short and before you can even think of keeping track of his movements, he’s back with a small chest in hand- nonchalantly brushing dust off his uniform.

“well, i have the goods, here you go. so how’d i do? pretty well, i’d say.” childe smirks.

one of the other treasure hoarders starts sweating and whispers worryingly over to his fellow bandit. the leader turns back to childe, somewhat containing his shock.

“please… hold on a moment, sir. we need to discuss something amongst ourselves.”

the three turn to a small circle, where they mutter back and forth to each other, unintelligibly to you. periodically, one of the hoarders throws childe a quick, fearful look to ensure that he’s not becoming impatient- lest something freakier than his show of inhuman speed happens. finally, the leader turns back.

“so, mister.. salesman. my apologies but we can’t have you joining us.”

“oh? i didn’t pass? i must say i never imagined that the treasure hoarders would have such strict entry requirements…” childe replies unimpressed.

“no, i-it’s not that- ..what we mean is you’re too big a fish for our little pond. but we fully understand the situation with the uh… toys, sir. we’ll fetch that six hundred thousand mora for you right away.”

you scoff, shaking your head incredulously at how… somehow childe managed to get his way with such a ridiculous front to impress his brother. teucer, on the other hand, could not be happier with the outcome.

“that’s my brother for you! toy sellers are so cool!”

some rustling of grass from behind you grabs your attention and you instinctively tense your shoulders, hand ready and reaching out towards teucer if you had to protect him from an unexpected ambush by the sour treasure hoarders. fortunately, the arriving individual turns out to be a familiar fatui employee, felix. he recognizes your presence with a curt bow-like gesture before directing himself towards the harbinger.

“ah, master childe, you’re here. a new batch of fresh recruits have just-“

“hey now, keep your voice down. can’t you see i’m entertaining some clients over here?”

“clients? well uh… the motherland has dispatched a new batch of recruits to liyue. they’ve just arrived and i’m afraid we must ask you to speak to them.”

“ugh, do i have to? now is hardly the best time…”

you decide to interject with a suggestion. “couldn’t signora give them the initiation? she’s also an acting superior here in liyue.”

felix shakes his head. “i’m afraid the fair lady has already returned to the palace to attend to other affairs.”

dammit, you really couldn’t keep track of that woman. both you and childe seem to simultaneously deflate slightly at the news, as if you’d both imagined at the same time how hard it’d be to keep teucer satisfied and ignorant towards the truth with so many predicaments.

“i truly must apologize for troubling you, master childe, but they are already waiting for you south of lingju pass. every new batch of recruits must be baptized by the tsaritsa’s will through the words of her harbingers. this has always been our rule.”

childe groans and rolls his eyes petulantly.

“well, alright then, i’ll go. just give me a moment to catch up with my brother and i’ll be right with you.”

“do you have to keep working?” teucer finally speaks up, with his saddened tone from earlier returning.

“yes teucer, we have a group of new toy sellers fresh from the motherland and i need to go teach them the ropes.”

“that’s great! when i grow up, i wanna be a toy seller too. can i go listen?”

you stammer to answer quickly. “ah- maybe not now, teuce’. you’re still a little too young for that, bud.”

childe nods in agreement. “besides, most of it is rather boring. why don’t you go play with y/n and the traveler instead? sound good?”

teucer shoots out the most impossibly heart wrenching combo of big eyes and a pout towards his brother. “b-but.. but…”

“i really do have to go, teucer. a lot of people are waiting to see me. i’ll see you around, alright?”

the boy sighs melancholically and for a moment you do understand his side of the situation, but again you’re reminded of the harsh reality of the fatui and how hard it must be, no- how hard it has been to keep such a young, adventurous kid oblivious to all of it. it truly has not been easy for childe for his little brother to show up so absurdly unannounced.

the traveler and paimon are a few feet away, whispering to each other while teucer still sulks, and you catch a bit of their conversation.

“to think he’d go this far just to prevent his family from seeing his… dark side.”

“i wonder how much longer he can hide it from teucer…” the traveler responds.

“paimon wonders too. but hey, let’s at least help him

out while we’re out in liyue…

wait- where’s teucer?”

panic shoots up your spine chillingly and you turn around to where he just was, to find nothing. the few seconds you’d kept your eye off him he disappears. you scan the grasslands for teucer almost involuntarily, but no sign of him at all.

“ugh.. we were too busy chatting! where’d he go?”

you sigh frustratedly and stomp down the hill, eyes still vigilant. “dammit, i shouldn’t have taken my eyes off of him while he was still upset. not even for one second… of course he’s going after childe.”

—

“…from this day forward, you will honor the oaths you have made to her majesty the tsaritsa and you will stop at nothing to bring snezhnaya victory.”

you can still taste the very same oath you swore years ago on your tongue. you still remember how tense your shoulders stayed and shaky the fist held to your heart was, how harsh and vile the words of the fatui initiation sounded coming out of dottore’s mouth. and now, they sound just as sharp coming from childe- you find that it gives you an unpleasant feeling in your chest.

teucer and childe, and consequently the new recruits, were not at all hard to find. you approach the gathering to see teucer propped up on a nearby rock, head held in his hands as he attentively watched the ceremony. you truly wish you’d kept your eye on teucer before and stopped him from coming here. it’s hard to be reminded of childe’s cold and devoted demeanor when it came to the tsaritsa- though, cold and devoted is what you could call any of her followers.

for some reason, the occasion causes you to pause and watch a bit of the procedure yourself, but you don’t focus on how intense the harbinger’s words are, nor on how the recruits react to it. no, instead you focus on childe’s scars.

they’re so evenly distributed throughout his body, or at least what you can see of it, that it almost seems intentional. at any other time, you would’ve thought them to be artistic and beautif- but err, uhm… but now they only look like glaring reminders of childe’s nature as the tsaritsa’s weapon of war. you’ve always thought that was a baffling title to have.

you notice teucer stand up to wave to his brother in the distance.

“…for the trials that we face are harsh, and the enemies are like- ..ehm,”

childe also looks over to where you were at that very second, catching onto teucer’s excited movements. his eyes asses your group, then they trail over to you and the seconds where your eyes meet seems to last longer than it should- there’s a shocked shift in his gaze and it’s then that you realize you’d been frowning this whole time. the harbinger then regards his brother’s presence and he stutters on his sentence.

“a-ahem, like… kites a-and rattle drums.. who shall become redoubtable foes of mr. cyclops in the marketplaces of liyue..!”

you hear teucer approve of his message right next to you, although the recruits don’t seem entirely sold.

“this is, of course, an analogy. as they say, ‘the marketplace, too, is a battlefield.’”

nobody says that.

“so, as your… sales manager here in liyue, i demand that you obey my every order! a refusal shall be considered a betrayal, and the price for betrayal is to be dishonorably discharged from.. a-ahem, the institute of toy research.”

this time, he can’t stupidly get away with this, as both teucer and the recruits seem queasy about the statement- much to childe’s dismay. he looks down for a moment as if to consider his options and shoots up again.

“eh.. uh… forget it! perhaps a round of hands-on training will suit us better!”

just how in teyvat is this guy your superior?

as if everything could not become any more absurd, childe’s proposal seemed to utterly please the new recruits- they whisper and rave to each other about the huge honor that it would be to fight with the eleventh harbinger. you could see the duels’ ends before they even began, with all of these poor newbies licking the dirt as they’re kicked into ground by childe with minimal effort.

just as expected, it’s over rather quickly- though the recruits do hold up their own for longer than you anticipated against someone like childe.

“well then, do you all understand what i said earlier?” childe interrogates with nonchalant confidence, as if he wasn’t slipping up and stumbling on his own words earlier.

“yes, sir!” the recruits heave out exhaustedly.

“excellent, and you all almost managed to get me limbered up. in other words, you’ve done well- for new recruits.”

“thank you, lord harbinger!”

childe gives the recruits some more encouragement before dismissing them as soon as possible. once they take off, teucer takes the opportunity to run up and tell his brother how amazing he was just then.

“teucer- what in the world are you doing here? there i was thinking that these three had taken you to play at wangshu inn, aha!” childe says, the latter sentence is pointed, much like his subtle glare up at the three of you.

“you really did get stronger.” the traveler admits with dignity and childe’s ego, as if it hadn’t been inflated enough by the drooling recruits just now, seems to swell.

“hah, i told you, didn’t it? i never pass on an opportunity to improve my strength. i’m not the

man i was when we first met.”

“you didn’t go all out, though.” she teases.

“by that, i assume you mean i didn’t use foul legacy transformation, yes?”

“it puts a great strain on my body, so it’s best saved for crucial moments.”

your eyes lower into a warning glare, thought playful one. “as if i’d ever let you use it in a situation like this.”

childe laughs with his full chest, amused at your quip.

“ahaha! yes, that much is true. if it hadn’t been for y/n’s medical prowess, i’d still be ways in recovery from the injuries i sustained back at the golden house. and they wouldn’t be a very good medic if they just let me slow down my own healing process, now, would they?”

you two share a knowing look and you give him an approving nod- and as everyone follows suit to look over to you, you fold your arms and pose out proudly, fully drinking up the praise towards your skill.

“anyway, i’m no signora. i don’t use lethal force against recruits, come on now…”

teucer scratches his chin in confusion. “the foul legacy transformation? does it make you stronger than mr. cyclops?”

“ahah… you could say that.” paimon laughs awkwardly.

“i wanna learn how to fight too! i wanna be cool like you!”

“now teucer, fighting isn’t about looking cool. you can only continue to get stronger if you know the reason why you’re fighting.” childe gestures to his younger brother in a lecturing manner.

“i can teach you. but think carefully first- why do you want to fight?”

“i…”

“hm?”

“..i want to protect sister tonia.”

the breath is taken from your chest for a moment. you don’t know what exactly you were expecting teucer’s answer to be but it was certainly not that. it’s so noble and honest and so… ajax, in a sense. you can’t describe what it is, but it sends you back to the times where you and ajax would have late-night deep talks inside pillow forts, whenever he slept over at your house. you’d deliberate about your lives and ambitions and you’d hear ajax express how much he aspired to become like the heroes in his father’s tales. courageous and selfless, so he could brace his fears and protect his loved ones. it’s uncertain if childe recalls the same memory as you, but he’s just as visibly pleased with teucer’s answer.

he pats the younger boy on the top of his head tenderly. “that’s a good answer teucer. when i return to snezhnaya, i will start teaching you fighting techniques.

then, you’ll have to protect tonia for me- how does that sound?”

“hehe, leave it to me!”

“you’ve had a nice long time here in liyue, haven’t you? isn’t it about time you took the boat back home?”

teucer pouts. “but, but… but you’ve been so busy, and we didn’t get any time to play together yet..”

“teucer, you know i’m very busy at work.. and hasn’t it been fun traveling all over the place with y/n and two proper travelers?”

you can tell childe feels like he hasn’t spent enough time with his brother either, but his worry about keeping up the toy seller appearance to protect teucer overcomes him. today has been nothing but close calls for him.

“w-well, how ‘bout this? if you just do one little thing for me, i’ll be a good boy and go back home!”

“oh dear, who taught this little devil to bargain.. alright, what’ll it be?” childe chuckles.

“take me to visit the institute of toy research!”

what? surely he doesn’t mean the research lab… once again, childe seems to have the same thought as you and you take the opportunity to throw him an incredulous, threatening look- as if to tell him ‘this might be your most gods awful idea yet if you take him there..’, but seemingly to no avail.

“done deal. after all, you’ve come all this way for me, teucer…”

childe persuades the traveler and paimon into taking teucer back to the facility at lingju pass and they take off soon after. you decide to stay behind and hopefully steer the harbinger away from the idea and he only faces you in waiting, like he already expects you to reprimand him. you cross your arms disappointedly and sigh.

“you know what i’m about to say to you, right?”

“hm, i might have an idea or two but just-“

“childe, that’s not just some abandoned facility for tourists to frolic inside- it’s dottore’s research lab and it’s active! if the machines inside that place don’t crush us all the second we walk inside, then surely my boss will do worse to us if we put anything out of place. i mean, this whole ordeal started because i had to go regulate the lab, then we found teucer and had to take him elsewhere so nothing bad would happen, who in their right mind-“

two strong, gloved hands come up to hold either side of your face.

the touch is somehow firm enough to effectively shut you up and hold up your head as to fully face childe, but still gentle enough as to not hurt or startle you. the committer of the act stares you right in the eyes, a doting look is apparent on his own azure gaze.

“y/n. answer this simply, do you trust me?”

there’s a pause as you process the development of the literal last 3 seconds and think of an answer- though the distracting, fluttering sensation in your chest also factors in the time you take to actually speak.

“w-well, it’s- it’s not about trusting you or-“

“do. you. trust. me?”

another pause. you look into his eyes as deep as you can and search for anything that says that maybe there’s an off-chance you shouldn’t trust him, but there’s nothing. he’s shown himself more than capable of steering situations back in his control today and it doesn’t need to be spoken how serious he is about protecting his family, even a scratch on teucer’s cheek would be a last case scenario to him. you sigh.

“i trust you, ajax.”

taglist ; @kentply @osaemu @rain-and-a-nice-nap @koichirana

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leoruby-draws · 2 years

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Finally I did another Duck comic, just for you!

Here's a little comic I've been working on and off the past few months! This is just the first half, I'm still working on the second half, that'll be done in a couple weeks I think.

As for why I made this, I guess I just thought it'd be interesting to see Daphne and Magica interact. I wanted to have Daphne encourage a young Magica, who's struggling with her magic, and give her some sort of pep talk.

It was kind of a struggle to write their dialogue together tho, since I had to be sure that an older Magica wouldn't connect her meeting with Daphne to Gladstone later on. Their conversation had to vague enough that no mention of Daphne's name, her luckiness, or even the name of the city Duckberg happens.

It's the same reason why I had Gladstone as still an egg instead of a baby, which I was originally gonna do. But Magica might've connected that to an older Gladstone, plus an egg is easier to draw lol.

Well, I hope you like it!

#Duckverse #Magica De Spell #Daphne Duck #Goostave Gander #Gladstone Gander #(tho he's not technically here...)#my art #btw Magica is like 5 in this comic I think

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childishsadism · 2 months

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I wanna start by saying that I do not mean to shame or talk down to anybody when making this kind of post.

But we gotta talk about writing formats and stuff. Now, I'm not gonna act like I'm some sort of super, in-depth reader who just LOVES to read and knows everything, I don't, in fact, I kinda hate reading but I gotta do it to learn how to write better which is what I enjoy doing. I love writing, that's what I like to do, the reading part is what bores me.

But even tho I dislike reading that doesn't mean I'm gonna ignore the structure and formats cuz I don't like reading and don't wanna learn.

Lately, I noticed there are a lot of fic writers that take some questionable takes when it comes to writing and lemme start by saying that while I believe we all have different writing styles, a style is different from the basic structure.

I'm talking about the recent influx of fics in ao3 that are wall posts, have no dialogue division, or smash two characters talking into the same paragraph.

I know tiktok LOVES to lie to y'all for the sake of clout and attention (I have seen people making very STUPID takes when it comes to writing there) but I promise you that nobody is gonna kill you for having a good writing structure that follows the norm cuz it is the norm for a reason.

Here are two examples of my own writing (this is all unbeta/unfixed) on the left side is the regular structure you'll follow when writing a regular novel, and on the right is what I use when writing fanfiction.

Both are GOOD for their given purpose.

Dialogue between characters is separated so you understand it is another character talking and if there is a description between the dialogue it is still the same character talking after.

The paragraphs are separated and it is clear when a new action is happening and another one ends. It makes it easy for readers to follow what is happening.

I cannot believe I have to say this but JUST USE THE WORD SAID. He said, she said, they said, that bitch said. If you just want to clarify who is talking, just use said. If you have a long dialogue between characters and wanna make sure the reader is still following along, then just throw in the word said here and there and add a small action. Contrary to what dumbasses say on the internet, using the word said is there to GUIDE THE READER INTO KNOWING WHO IS TALKING. That's the purpose it has, if it is a dialogue between two characters then it is easier and you don't have to spam it but please, sometimes simplicity goes a long way.

Separate your dialogue between characters

Tell your reader who is talking.

Separate your paragraphs

And for the love of god, please, don't take writing advice from tiktok kids that only consume fanfiction. Instead, read novels and books, yeah it blows if you hate reading and English isn't your first language (like me) but that's how you are gonna get better at it. I'm not saying fanfiction isn't at the same level as novels/books but for the most part, books/novels are constructed and formatted in a way that you can learn something from them and apply it to your writing.

Think of it as a reference, just like artists use references to get better at drawing, your reference is other books that'll teach you and help you do better.

#fanfcition #fanfic #ao3 #archive of our own #writing #please #i'm tired #writing advice #english ain't even my first language so I shouldn't speak about this #but pleeeease #fan fiction #fanfic writing #ao3 fanfic

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rayclubs · 10 months

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Hey I was just wondering, so you have any tips for pacing when you’re writing your fics? I only ask because I’m having a bit of trouble with it at the moment, and you never seem to linger too long or gloss over things too quickly in yours. Anyway that’s all, hope you’re having a great day!

Yeah! I mean, I'm sure as hell no expert on pacing, god knows I struggle with it A LOT, but I feel like I've learned some things over the years that I can share, and then maybe it'll help somebody!

The advice I've seen a lot in variations is "always have everything planned". Every scene has to make sense. Every bit has to contribute. Every line needs to be important. Always have an ending in mind. Yadda yadda yadda. Well, I'm some type of neurodivergent and I really can't do that at all, I rarely have any more than a setup, a bit in the middle, and a vague idea of a fade-out 90s song ending - if not less.

The way I go around this is: if you don't know how to write a scene, don't write it.

Characters are at Point A, but I need them to travel to Point B. The scene of them traveling is a goddamn pain in the ass. How do I write it? I don't. I say "At Point B, they-" and continue the story.

Another good trick is to remember that you are writing in a non-linear space, meaning you can skip over things and then come back.

Sometimes when two things don't work one after the other, I swap them and see what happens. Sometimes I combine them - like, in the last chapter of Blank Slate, I was supposed to write Heavy meet Pyro, the Scout, but I thought Pyro and Scout at the same time would be more exciting. Dunno if it worked as intended, but I like it better.

Setup and payoff is also good. When you introduce something - that's setup. When that thing resolves - that's payoff. Thespace between them is like a circle, the setup and payoff are giving your text a li'l hug. For a good example of this see my fic Close Call, it's packed with these. For a simpler example see Speak Up, it's got like three or four circle, like a matreshka. I can do a detailed breakdown sometime but it feels kind of obnoxious, I'm a bit, uh, shy about my writing.

Another thing I love is using sentence length to communicate scene energy. Short sentences for action, long structures for instrospection. Long to short for sudden stops and accents, short to long for scene transitions and timeskips. Also, intersperse long dialogues with action blocks to create smaller sections with more contained dialogue topics that are easier to follow.

Cutting useless dialogue is always good. I like to say a line is no good if you can't tell who's saying it without a dialogue tag, but you can't always follow that rule. Still. Good to keep in your head.

Dialogue order, too! If Character A and Character B are talking, and A is saying a line in Paragraph 1, A's next line will be on Paragraph 3. If you have A's line on 1, B's line on 2, action on 3 - well, you can't put A's on 4, you need another action on 4 so A lands on 5. I hope this makes sense. If it doesn't, let me know and I'll go more in detail. I try to always follow this rule, at least within one scene, sometimes across scenes - it really helps cutting out unnecessary dialogue tags that clutter the text.

I think I do this thing where I overexplain everything. Honestly still not sure if the dialogue between Spy and Sniper near the end of Close Call was obvious to everybody or so obscured in round-about hints that nobody got it. But it's fine! Generally I think you want to have your audience figure some things out, I think. Not restate the same clever plot point many times beause you fear people won't get it. Just say it once and pray to god. It takes some major balls tho, if I'm being fully honest.

This is getting long so I'm gonna close with: write what you're excited to write! If you're not excited about writing a scene, don't think "How am I going to write this?", think "How am I going to avoid writing this?". Kill the first draft servant in your brain, it's only malicious non-compliance from here onward.

#raynswers #ray's bs #hope this all makes sense!! im glad you think so highly of my writing btw!!#i know my flaws but I write for pleasure so 😇 not liable for psychic damage I inflict btw

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windwardstar · 18 days

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20 Questions For Fic Writers

Taggged by: @typicalopposite

How many works do you have on ao3?

What's your total ao3 word count?

400,082

What fandoms do you write for?

i only have modao zushi/ the untamed fics written

Top five fics by kudos:

I Have Been Selfish Too 1,720

One for Sorrow; Two for Joy 964

Face 468

Our Choices Not Undone 460

I Shall Bear the Blame 355

And the one with the fewest Kudos is: A Man in Time You'll Be with 11

Do you respond to comments?

Yes I do. It took a while to get up to this point though because social anxiety sucks. and also words are hard for my brain so i'm not always the most prompt at responding to them. but i do try. and i love getting them.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I simply do not write angst endings. beginnings and middles tho...

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't know. they're all happy endings. However One for Sorrow; Two for Joy and The Father of Your Child are apparently the ones with the votes

Do you get hate on fics?

yeah, occasionally. and i avoided explicitly writing certain headcanons and such early on because of it. but now a combination of the social anxiety being worked through and positive responses to them has made me decide it's worth it even if i get the hate

Do you write smut?

i do not in general. however the trans fic has made me include e rated content however like.. i have a tendency to forget to include the actual romantic attraction when i write romances? yeah the one smut scene i have written (and won't actually appear in the story for A WHILE) is like yes it's a sex scene, yes they're technically having sex, but in like the acest way possible. I've just made all the characters somewhere on the aroace spectrum because that's so much easier and also hey aroace rep. Also the way my planning for this fic has approached it is also involving so many gender feelings like.

So i guess the answer is no, i don't write smut. i do however have plans to write scenes where characters engage in sexual activities.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

no. although that would be cool if someone wanted to.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes I have with @langwrites. a mzds cooking show au.

Nailed It! Ee-I-Ee-I-Oh No!

All time favorite ship?

i don't know.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i work on one (now 2!) projects at a time until i finish them. Both A Man in Time You'll Be and Who You Condemn are gonna be finished

What are your writing strengths?

I am apparently very good with characterization. Although it is the thing I feel like I worry over the most because i always feel like i don't understand characters the way others do and that i'm missing things. But maybe that's why i end up with good characterization? is that i do put so much effort into doing it well that I actually make sure the characters are in character?

What are your writing weaknesses?

what aren't my weaknesses rip. words are hard. everything about writing is hard when my brain can't think and dumps language.exe when it needs to shed cognitive load.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

that it would be so useful to be able to do if like it was also something the readers could also understand. like. give me star trek communicators that instantly translate everything flawlessly so that i can have characters speaking in the actual languages they'd be speaking, changing between them as natural, and that then the readers would be able to follow. also that i could also have it written in that language despite not speaking it. Like. the fact i am limited to just english when writing is a shame.

also i love it when other writers do it like yes give me the language work. real languages. conlangs. (i also love it when movies do that. and like one of the things i really lament about writing is that it's not a movie and it's harder to just have the constant audio and visual elements that movies have flavoring things in the background. like movies can just include things as background without drawing attention to it, books you have to, even if it's trying to include the mention of it in as mundane and everyday as possible, it still ends up standing out by virtue of being mentioned.)

First fandom you wrote in?

mcu circa 2015. bucky barnes winter soldier thing regarding him having a flashback in the freezer aisle of a grocery store or something i think.

i remembered the title and the tumblr search actually worked?!?! so uh have the link. Freezer Burned

Favorite fic you've written?

Hmm.. I don't know. I think I like them all for their own things but then don't tend to reread any of them because then I notice all the flaws. I'm also very good about just forgetting about things once I've stopped working on them.

So I'll say the trans fic A Man in Time You'll Be because it is one that I'm currently working on. but ALSO because it is like also a project I'm working on that's explicitly about being self-indulgent and including all the headcanons and fun ideas that I want and not worrying about like anything beyond "does this bring joy?" which I hope even after I'm done with it that it retains a fond place in my heart for just what it is to me.

Tagging: @langwrites @writer-and-artist27 and anyone else who wants to do this. no pressure. but like totally hop in even if i didn't tag you .

#someone tagged me

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rel124c41 · 25 days

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2, 4, 5, 11, and 33 please! Hope that isn’t too much, very curious about your answers though!! Happy early birthday btw :D

ah thank you very much for the birthday wishes (≧∀≦) getting a drum set tomorrow and i’m so hyped bout it

& the amount of questions was perfecto!! i left my answers below the cut!!

(ask game)

2: How do you come up with your plot ideas?

8/10 times, my plot ideas come from my fabulous, otherworldly, superior music taste ᕦ(ò_óˇ)!!

nah but to be serious, music and creating AMVs in my head works brilliantly for creating plots. i listen to music A LOT. i do not always construct a story based on a song but my ideas flow easier when there is a melody in the air. snippet of scenes come and go, and i scribble them down; music powers the whole process of my writing.

additionally, i think coming up with plot ideas/to strength that part of your brain to be creative and original, one should always read MORE. to lazily siphon off a Stephen King quote i can’t find: “a great writer knows to read” and then there is the 1/10, where an idea hits me, completely uninspired from anything.

but really, when coming up with plots remember this saying: no one can reinvent the wheel!

4: How do you channel characters’ voices and personalities?

studying the source material is always my go-to for channeling a character.

have not played twst in 2 yrs 💀 (bc i was on an expedition for different video games and discovered i hated rhythm games) but i always use @/yuurei20 like a study guide for the characters. and i read the translations for each event (birthdays or otherwise) to see how the characters act at different situations

and if a character has done something out-character in canon, i analyze the shit out of that. it’s really important to me when writing already canon characters to think of this one question: what’s their drive/goal (in everyday & in specific situations & in long-term)?

5: What techniques do you use to create believable dialogue?

one of my biggest insecurities in specifically the “fanfiction” writing realm is my dialogue so this question is crazzzy to me. believable dialogue?? hasn’t happened!

i still don’t think i’ve done it successfully even once, so techniques? god i really don’t have any. here’s me talking out my ass tho:

certain characters have certain mannerisms in how they talk: those i can pick up upon bc some characters it’s black and white how they go about talking — floyd ain’t gonna sound all sophisticated u know. however, knowing how to structure what they are conveying, ah that is much harder for me.

sorry for this dead-end answer 💀

11: Are there any tropes you particularly enjoy writing?

rubbing my hands together and grinning like the fucking grinch at this,, let’s fucking goooooo!

1: unreliable narrator my pookie bear <3!!!! a mixture of being a fan of memento (2001) and a haunting of hill house (the BOOK, not the awful movie or show), unreliable narrators are my favorite trope!! whether this narrator is high off a substance, is as clueless as the audience about their situation, OR even so egotistical that their worldview is skewed, I EAT THAT SHIT UP EVERY TIME WITHOUT FAIL!

2: karmic retribution,, listen i love seeing someone get their just deserts (￣个￣) there is something so gutturally satisfying about karma

ALSO, i love the indomitable human spirit trope!!!

maybe one day i’ll chat about my more shojo/booktok tropes i enjoy like “just one bed” and “colleagues to lovers” bc hey i know what sells.

33: How do you incorporate world-building elements into your fics?

Disney is such a huge realm to play around it. from the original Grimm fairytales (my beloveds mwah (*≧∀≦*) !!!!) to the movies Disney has made, world-building elements for twst is like a gold mine. it’s perhaps the biggest playing field i’ve ever seen from a fandom.

how i go about incorporating it? well i always go look for faucets of the world everyone else is overlooking: when writing Schism, the ghost camera was untapped potential i had to jump on. i’m working on another oneshot that incorporates Disney’s 1963 The Sword in Stone; there is SO much real estate, you just got to dig around for it a bit.

ACTUALLY,, i have more to say

also about world-building in writing in general, let me siphon off Stephen King again: ok imagine a table covered by a table cloth.

really, imagine a table. secondly, imagine a table cloth.

ok, everyone who reads that imagines something completely different. someone might have imagined a circular table or a rectangular, the table cloth could have reached the ground or could have hovered a inch off the surface, the table cloth, there could’ve been lace on it or it could’ve been this striking red or dull blue.

when world-building, as the writer, you decide what elements you want to bring into the story; the rest? you give that creative liberty and trust to your audience.

#re l rambling #re l reveals she's a fucking stephen king fan

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sprainedwriting · 1 month

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I absolutely get it I struggle a lot with my own Adam fic too. I barely got the dialogue and there are some parts in the overall story that are not planned out yet. And I want to give Adam some dimension too, he’s gonna have some softer moments but I’m frequently questioning myself because I’ll be sticking to canon with an exorcist!reader and their relationship dynamic is complicated too.

Before I started posting my fics here, I had a Wattpad account where I was writing long multichapter fics and none of them got finished. But sticking to one shots is easier and it gives me more faith in my writing that I can actually finish something. But that’s usually due to overthinking my own plots or eventually loosing interest in them or just… struggling because english is not my first language.

I’m gonna definitely check that fic out, the hyperfixation is strong and even tho my heart belongs to Lucifer, I’m always in need for an awful man who would treat me wrong lmao 💗💗

if you need like help or smth you can always dm me and we can look together through your fic!! :)

WATTPADDDD haven’t been on there in so long jdidjjd my ao3 account is basically a graveyard so i feel u fr. english also isn’t my first language so i get that 100% im constantly like breaking my head open trying to formulate a proper sentence

the fic is so good i swear on it i love the whole premise. the author spoiled me so much she updated like every 2 days at first and it was like a feast for me im starving now. so i had to write my own thing 😭

#ask

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riovano-sandrax · 1 year

Text

Source is my fantasies about krs BCZ I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.ahem.

Ok so we know that krs was a strategist in team 1 right? And from what we know even though he was a strategist he still went to the frontlines even if LSH and CJS told him not to.

And from what we know he didn’t have any other talents or skills like record (not instant bcz he gets that when he becomes team leader)

So I had this idea that due to LSH and CJS opposition to him recklessly running to the frontlines, he decided to help them in ways other than strategy.

Which is what this au is about! SNIPER KRS HELL YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAAYYAYYA

If you think that normal bullets or weapons won’t work on the monsters, which you are right but what if the sniper and bullets he uses are created from a special ability user.

I don’t really have a name for them or gender or really anything appearance wise, but you can have them be mysterious or something or you creat an identity for them if you like.

But their ability isn’t support or attack based, not even healing or anything else.

It’s creation. Only weapons tho, which is plenty of things so they were dubbed the ‘special’ grade 1 ability user bcz of how useful it is. I didn’t really think of any rules or backlash the ability might have but you don’t really need to explain that.

So about how they(special grade 1 ability user) create the sniper for krs is up to you.

But they should probably know each other beforehand so setting up the convo can be easier.

But krs will probably be really straightforward and just go to their workshop or wtv and ask them to create it. Everything else is up to you.

So about how you’re gonna start the Fic I really want you to include both cale(og krs) and og krs..when he was og krs? 😭

Timeline can be after cale stabbed him self with a chopstick, (you should probably not include hunters cuz they’re a bitch and just toooooooo much) or a few years prior to that event when they just be chilling in the villa and cale Vibing with his slacker life.

I should have probably explained this at first since all the things I said about og krd is when cale is recalling a record when he’s at the training grounds at the villa or black castle/castle of light? In the FOD.

So liek the wolf kids be training with Choi Han and Hannah and one of them (your choice) ask cale if he knows how to wield any type of weapons.

We know cale would say no but for the sake of this Fic….he’ll tell them.

And his family should probably know about the transmigration but no need to write that it’s too much. But say that they know about it and they chill.

So when one of them asks this question all of them focus on cale bcz they want to know too. Especially Choi Han (if he isn’t the one who asked) since he knows about the weapons on earth.

So yea cale says he wields a sniper they ask what that is (add convo of your choice and other people present when this convo happens if you want) amd fast forward to when cale is sketching out a blue print for a sniper.yes. They go to the lab and shit and stuff stuff I don’t want to write too much about this bcz it’s not important details I trust you can take care of that. So Rosalyn and Eruhaben are there cuz if not then where would they be lol. Cale gives the blue print to Eruhaben and told the group to get out so he can start creating it (ik they should probably go to a blacksmith or weaponsmith….? Idk but sniper pretty complicated and literally from another world so it’s should be handled by gramps) Choi Han asks about the bullets and cale says he wrote the formula and materials to make the stuff inside a bullet (yk the powder thingy that’s black) on the blue print.

So fast forward two days later or how ever much you want. The sniper is created and literally all of his family at this point heard of this new weapon and they’re very curious so all of them gathered in the training grounds (all of them should be there but you can choose who to include in dialogue and narration so yea ppl can be there but you just don’t know..)

Oh yea cale should probably wear headphones or the equivalent of headphones in that world I guess should probably exist since winter and the cold exist so yea OH EAR MUFFLERS I think that’s what they called so yea that.

It’s 12 rn so I’ll finish this tomorrow but the outline right now is:

1-Someone ask cale about weapon. He creat blue print. He request grandpa to make weapon

2-during the time Eruhaben the creating the sniper he recalls a record which is what I told you about I DONT WANNA WRITE UT AGIAN A

SHSBUHSBSH😭😭😭

3-weapon done. We go boom boom.

(I wrote this way before for one of my fav authors, but they’ve been busy lately so here do what you want with it)

#Tcf #trash of the count's family #kim rok soo #sniper au #IM THIRSTY FOR CONTENT

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fyrerainy · 4 months

Text

typos and stuff!! will be pretty in-depth, sorry in advance lmao

@strawbubbysugar hi!! ily!! Here's some stuff I've found. This is gonna seem super rude and if you want me to stop, I'll stop!!

[keep in mind, I'm not an expert, though I have read through a textbook on how to write, edit, and get published. Feel free to discard as much of this criticism as you wish /gen]

When editing a manuscript, the experts say to try and cut 10% of your word count, so be sure to keep that in mind. Anything in your book that you feel icky about, or wasn't worded or written in the best way, needs to be addressed. The first draft was about what you wanted. The final copy will be about what the readers want.

Chapter 1

The key to hooking a reader in is to start with a bang. You want to draw their attention from the first sentence. At the moment, "Busy. Busy busy busy, always so busy," isn't seeming like the optimal use of your first paragraph. It's not making me feel intrigued, or making me want to read more. A chunk of this chapter (or the whole thing) may need to be rewritten.

This sentence is confusing me, it's not very concise. Maybe something like "This place was designed to mimic the unfinished amusement park, which proudly reached several floors above its head," would make it easier on the brain.

moment's

Unsure if 'loaded' is the right word here. Perhaps uploaded would work better?

Also, you can probably get rid of "it was advanced", as it's not needed here.

I'm feeling like this sentence doesn't make a lot of sense. In a nutshell, it's basically "An AI, now holding onto a toddler." It would work better if you exchanged 'a' with 'the', 'and' with 'was'.

Also, "now with one hand holding onto the seam etc" needs to be changed to "holding onto the labelled seam of a toddler's pants with one hand"

I believe this sentence is contradicting itself as you'd just told me that it didn't have straining core muscles, but then said it was straining. You may need to add a sentence or two about how its gears were grinding, and/or its legs shaking to keep it in place.

Also, "...attempt to not drop either child" needs to be "....attempt not to drop either child".

You may want to change the second "calculated" to "found" so you don't repeat words.

It's not a ball pit anymore bubby X3c

This needs to be changed. Either the first sentence needs to be "it caught the little one with time to spare" or "catching the little one with time to spare, the fluid etc etc". If you choose the second option, you'd have to edit the rest of the sentence to avoid it running on.

"The" needs to be lowercase, and ITS needs to be IT'S

Since we've switched focus from Hello to the kids then back, you may want to establish that this is Hello we're referencing when we say 'it'. Maybe, "The robot gently patted"...?

Also, if you want to be super professional and fancy, you could remove one of those question marks. You don't have to tho!

Wrong its! Its (without an apostrophe) is the possessive form of it, so it means “belonging to it.” “The cat ate its food.” It's (with an apostrophe) is a contraction (shortened form) of it is or it has. “It's almost Christmas.”

You repeated the word down twice, maybe change one of them?

Dialogue needs to be in a separate line from the rest of the paragraph.

again, if you want to be fancy you could remove one of these

It needs to be '...with its face "-Hello Lolly!"' bc the '-' needs to be on both sides

The "but only for a moment" could be removed to make the sentence flow more easily.

Aaaaand dialouge needs to be in a seperate line.

*error buzzer noise* wrong its!

Not sure what the "at least" is doing there. Feels like it doesn't fit

from "both children seemed" to "opposite directions" doesn't make sense. Try something like "...end result- they both had a toy and a piece of candy. They ran off in opposite directions."

Again, we're switching focus, so we may want to re-establish that it's the robot we're paying attention to at the end there.

it's a foam pit, silly!

foam, not ball

wrong its!

remember we're not using he/him for Hello yet 🤫

lowercase pronoun after dialouge

not balls! foam! X3

Along doesn't seem quite right. Around, maybe?

New line for dialouge!

"A mischievous grin wormed its"

Needs another gap in between the last two paragraphs

For conciseness, consider "Lukas was, at this point, sticking out his..."

For conciseness, 'for it' could be removed.

Put off from purchasing

pathfind is probably not the right word to use here. Maybe just use find?

that's what it was here for - to play! (new line after this)

golden rule! new line for dialouge! (also the 'it' after luukaass needs to be lowercased)

for conciseness, you could remove "in any bit of it's coding"

the needs to be lowercase

it's not not peaked, it's peeked!

Clarify this is Hello we're talking about with the warning signs

it pronounssss

There's so much more editing to be done (including in this chapter) but this process of screenshotting etc is taking up spoons. Perhaps you could allow me editing access to the manuscript so I can highlight the changes to be made? Or do them for you, if you prefer? /nf

I'm tired QwQ

#oh gosh oh gosh #is this too much???#tell me if its too much #im not trying to be rude i prommy #i just want the best for your book!#i know some self-publishing places #or are you looking to go to a publisher?#so(u)l project #so(u)l rewrite

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wizisbored · 1 year

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🤔👖 (fanfic ask game!)

🤔 What is the hardest part of writing fic?

writing fics that are specifically meant to be funny as the primary goal is hard. like parent-creature conferences, or my old tgwdlm fic teachers pet. hard to know if things are as funny as i think i am

more generally to my writing, though, sometimes characterisations can be a little hard to keep straight. its not something id say i really struggle with, but its a thing. beetlejuice in particular, i feel the general fandom portrayal is a bit off from the source so i gotta run through scenes from the show in my head to kinda double-check him sometimes. especially when im twisting him to be a nicer (bugebroph) or meaner (snake oil). and in a similar vein to that, it can be interesting trying to balance characterisation in aus where ive changed a character's (usually lydia's) upbringing (bugebroph, netherborne, dragon au, etc). because obviously they're going to be different because of that, but you gotta keep them them. bug is more of a brat, netherborne lydia was taught not to trust and is deeply traumatised, dragon lydia is kinda naieve, but theyre all still lydia. hopefully.

also im not great at describing settings. does not help that i like cluttered rooms and the maximalist aesthetic, so if i design a place theres gonna be a lot of stuff to describe but also i have to avoid making it into a page of just stuff that is in a room. netherborne is currently being held up by such a dilema.

👖 Are you a planner, plantser, or pantser? Is it consistent?

eh its kinda somewhere in the middle? a couple times ive written the first chapter or so completely off the top of my head with maybe a couple notes and then properly outline the rest (netherborne was like that, ive started infernal children without outlining.) general mo tho is i start with one of these:

(thats netherborne, you can see it starts at 4 because i didnt plan up to 3. green boxes are unique to this one, theyre the flashback sections)

every idea i have goes in a box. sometimes its a major plot point, sometimes its just a little dialogue idea. if i know it comes before/after/around the same time as something else i join them up. and then i arrange them into chapters, alternating colours to distinguish them. sometimes i plan a few ahead, sometimes i finish a chapter and then open this to see what the hell i can put into the next one. so like, i know roughly where the plot is going and things that are going to happen, but not really when or in what order most of the time.

(here have another one. thats snakeoil. sure hope these are small enough to be illegible)

from there i write an outline in bullet points. these used to be far more loose but ive been writing more and more detailed ones lately. sometimes they approach being their own rough draft tbh. but i find it really makes writing easier to get down roughly what happens before i think about anything like scene transitions or exact wording or anything.

(thats some bugebroph)

sometimes i note down my ideas in this format too if ive got a really clear idea i dont want to forget and thats a bit long for a box

and then from there its first draft, edit, proof read, and done :)

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nburkhardt · 10 months

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For the fanfic ask: F, H, M, W 😈

I’m gonna do this backwards since I gotta make an explanation for letter F haha. Anyway!! Thanks for asking and if anyone else wants to ask, here’s the list!

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones? I like both equally actually, tho specific ones are easier for me to play off of.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share? Not really? Actually, I’m constantly thinking of my (happy) modern au with singer!steve, here & here like no joke, it’s in the back of my head alllll the time like “I could totally make this song work! Or or what about a relationship reveal in it” another thing I have on the back burner is my Pokémon au. I wanna write more of that.

H: How would you describe your style? … I’ve never thought about it actually. How would you describe it???? Do I have a tell when it’s my fics? Idk.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it. It might get long and this post is getting really long….soooo under the cut it is! The snippet is from Desperate Prayers chapter 2 specifically (something I should really get back to 🫣)

You don’t understand how happy that last line made me. Especially the “you have me” it’s such, god a good feeling. You know? The idea of someone just being yours or just on your side.

Also when Eddie says all the things he’ll do to prove to Steve, help him break this thought process.

I should really look into finishing this, it has a special place in my heart

#ask game #I know how happy finishing that fic would make Katy 👀#so I’ll look it over again and try writing

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heeliopheelia · 10 months

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Your comfort fics are gonna send me to the reaper. I read the Sunghoon one and I just sat there in my bed and closed my eyes for a solid five minutes cause it was just too fluff. (I fall on my knees for fluff ok?)

I had a question about your writing Tho. How do you know when to break the paragraphs? Cause whenever I try to break paragraphs in my writing, it just ends up being garbage. And I really like the way you kinda know when to break it.(not me asking for advice cause I am desperate to make my writing better 💙)

Sweetheart, thank you so so much!! I've never really been too confident in writing fluff (cause angst is what I feel the most comfortable with) so I really appreciate words like that 😭🙏

And it's ok, you can ask me anything you want, I'd love to help!! So, to be fair I'm not the biggest fan of leaving them very long. Sometimes the work requires it but I just like to keep mine shorter cause I feel like it's easier to read that way. When it comes to the dialogue, I very rarely keep writing after the last quotation mark (""). Like in here:

Then when it comes to the non-dialogue paragraphs, I like to keep them simple - I cut it in the moment where the topic of the main thought slightly starts drifting away. Ugh I'm really bad at explaining so look here:

In the 1st one the reader is having an internal debate but then something breaks her train of thoughts - that's put in the 2nd paragraph.

I really hope that helps you even a little bit, love!! If anything in here is still unclear or if you'd like some more examples, please don't be shy and let me know!! 🩷🩷

#–nonnies asks ♡#carly answers ✎

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gggoldfinch · 11 months

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for the fanfic writing ask, 1-4 and/or 11 & 12, I'm so curious about other people's processes

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

oh 100%. Most of my fic ideas come from lengthy scenarios I have to make up to go to sleep at night LMAOOO. Some ideas come to me over the course of the time I'm consuming the media (watching a TV show for example) but I usually never end up writing those ideas down because they're too long and involved (I'm not gonna write a fic that takes place during every season of a multi-season show. it'll just live in my head). Generally I write the smaller daydreams and ideas down as they come if it's for a fic I'm genuinely interested in pursuing.

2. Where do you get your fic ideas?

Generally I get my fic inspiration from music or the media itself or even other fics; this inspo usually grows into an actual seedling idea. I try my hardest to make my fic plots unique, which is where reading a lot of fic comes in handy lol. If I see a plot arc being reused frequently (no offense to people who reuse specific fandom tropes obv), I try to come up with something different that readers (and myself) might enjoy. I tend to do this a lot in my longer works.

3. Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself?

It's about 50/50 honestly. I have 5 published fics as of right now, and ideas for others that I could potentially share (if I ever get around to writing them), but some are private. Not because I don't think people would like them, but because they're either deeply personal (in a different way to my little self-indulgent fics), or are old enough that the writing sucks. Oddly enough, I have an easier time sharing my xReader works than xOFC ones.

4. How do you choose which fics to write?

I'm not sure... I usually only write fics for universes and characters I have a deep emotional connection with, so... I guess they kinda just choose themselves 🤷🏻‍♀️

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

I try my hardest to write scenes in order, especially for longer works, but sometimes I'll come up with good dialogue or a scene that I need to write out before I forget. I tend to write certain scenes that I struggle with on their own tho, then come back to them to add them in later... namely smut lol

12. Do you outline your fics? If yes, how detailed are your outlines? How far do you stray from them?

I do outline— very thoroughly in fact. I outline pretty much all of my written work because it helps me to picture where the piece is going, fic or not. Generally my outlines consist of bare-bones bullet points, describing interactions and broad scenes, but sometimes in sub-bullet points I'll go into more detail (if inspiration strikes particularly hard). Since my outlines are usually pretty basic in plot structure, I tend to add more scenes and dialogue as I write— things that weren't in the original outline. I even outline pics that don't have a lot of overarching plot, like oneshots and vague-plot fics

#goldfinch writes #ask #thank you so much!!! this was fun to answer

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this-should-do · 2 years

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Sorry I really wanted to ask this-

Shephard Swap AU? (Mitchell is put in infinite stasis, Adrian ends up Abluquerque for the HDTF story, their experiences in Black Mesa are kept completely the same)

I wanted to ask, what *you* think would happen/change because of this, seeing as this type of AU really fully hinges on your own interpretation of Adrian Shephard.

Ya know if you want something to ponder about..

Bro i fucking Love pondering shit so absolutely do not apologize for askin this, cuz its a real thinker and i spent like 3 or so hours straight writing it lmao it could be better but this is a first draft and im not editting it cuz im lazy

So obviously, this is already a challenge because the plot of hdtf is just,,,, one of the plots of all time. its contrived and relies on A Lot of asumptions and a mischarcterization/understanding of gman and how and why he does what he does. granted we dont know much about gman but the gman in hdtf is just strange? i guess, hes definately far more hands on than valve writes him, but also im realizing that gman is far mroe hands on in adrians story, actively helping him (something he doesnt do for gordon and barney is just not even on his radar), so i guess it sorta makes sense that adiran and mitch have theri stories intertwine like they do, might even be a part of the reason that berken tied them together like that since gman play such a pivotla role in mitchs story (i doubt it honestly but we can give him this for funsies)

so assuming were all familiar with the plots of both hdtf and opfor wers gonna start with why ours boys are getting switched

so in hdtf, gman has mitch on standby getting power to that he can be a distraction in the future at some point so gordon has an easier time to do things?? (even tho the point in time hes a distraction is when the combine literally cant get to gordon becuz hes in a week long teleport but whatever) all becuz he said sum funnywords? but also the perpetual prescence of gman in the flashbacks implies that mitch has been a fascination of gmans for quite some time,,,, weird

so what were gonna do is apply that fascination to adiran in the first place as well, and adiran who already did a buncha cool shit (which mitch did not do which makes him lame to gman) is gonna be gmans backup for if gordon needs help in the future (i say if becuz im interpreting gmans time onicience as a 'he can only guess which path this universe is gonna go down', cuz his dialogue about him having to convince his employers that alyx is gonan be worth it, and with hla the him we see is a him from the future ona particular path changing things up on purpose)

but plot twist gman didnt really want him doing all that shit becuz it fucks with his plans so he brings adam back (int he hev suit not for deception purposes but to make sure that he stays alive long enough to adrian who has had no prob killing entire groups of blackops and adam got his ass handed to him already by mitch) to kill adrian with the promise of killing Corporal Shephard (intended to be adrian), but adam ends up killing the shephard he wanted to (mitch) and gmans like fuck damn okay not what i wanted but i guess you did what i asked you to, but anyways next assignment you gotta help the important shephard stay alive, (gman makes mitch deadnt as insurance to make sure adrian stays in line later down the line or whatever, honestly he doesnt need mitch alive but this is what ive got in terms of putting mitch in stasis)

so at this point adrian gets a deal with gman to be allowed to make it out of black mesa becuz hes so poggers its be sad to see a life wasted, hes just gonna owe gman a favor later

so act1 plays out much the same wiht adrian at the helm, he wakes up in the hospital, meets up with nick and is sent on his way to find colonel cue, meets up with adam who has been sent there to make sure adrian doesnt start blabbing to people about what they saw in bm (but also secretly to ensure that adrian hates freeman cuz he would def know what happened to mitch when adrian mentions/ asks after him, and adams gonan for sure lie to cover his ass and be able to do his "job", this causes adrian to say sumthign along the lines of "goddam, sunovabitch i shoulda killed that orange cremesicle lookin ass when i had the chance" thus keeping eveything setting up for the whole name of the game) cuz that was one of gmans concerns about letting adrian go in the first place, which still confuses me cuz lots of people knew stuff in black mesa and got out just fine but also whatever. and from here it really doesnt change at all, adrian eventually ends up captain of the avalon vale, and off they sail

so now act2, also goes p similarly, adrians been on a warpath fucking up combine cuz damn, another overwhelming set of aliens to kill, better get to it, so now hes off teh go fuck up the "weapons" factory up in alaska, turns out its a bunch of slave children making the worlds first cremators all being headed by headdipshit boris. now adrian does not like this, he instead of talking to boris just straight up shoots him, like "fucka you, u suck", takes the kids (including sasha) and proceeds to destroy the entire facility back in line with mitchs descion making.

now act3,,,, is a doozy,,, cuz adrian is a far different man than his brother (frankly they wouldnt even call himself a man, he is nobiney lmao) so when gman shows up and tries to prey on his dislike of freeman for killing mitch to get him to kill freeman, adrian is older and obviously less intent on killing some guy that is not combine, even if he doesnt like the bitch, so gman pulls out the old "well fun fact, i can bring u rbrother back if u kill freeman" (this is valid cuz its int eh same vein as hla ending) so adrian is like ",,,,fine" so he sets off, however he doesnt team up with the combine on this one, cuz he really, really doesnt like the combine and also doesnt have a weird edgelord "well wed do the same thing as them if we could" thing going on that i guess would lend him to being willing to team up with them like mitch does

so now adrians off to kill freeman, but this time teams up with the resistance to get a chance at getting close to gordon, by earnign thier trust, cuz chances are if theyve been killing combine for 20 years, theyre gonna hve come in contact witht hem at some point, this also functions as bolstering the reisitances numbers, helping meet the distract the combine from gordon quota that adrians is meant to serve, to do this he eventually gets sent to bmeast to meet up with eli to discuss numbers and shit or whatever, which places him near gordon but is just a near miss as they arrive right around the time of the combines raid, so adirans gets a chance in the confusion to go after gordon without looking sus and immediatley being blamed for killing gordon.

this sets off a similar chain of events to og hdtf, goes thru ravenholm, galavants across the countryside, gets to those rebel outposts or whatever and gets info under the guise of helping gordon so they tell him where to go, eventually makes his way to nova prospekt, is too late to get to gordon but is there fast enough to kill neoguh combine to ensure gordon adn alyx can get into the teleporter (ie making gordons way easier), so now hes gotta fight his way out, still ends up washing out into the ocean, but instead of being captured by rebels hes saved by them, he wakes up in that prison theyre holed up in, and goes to send a message to adam and nick cuz he misses his besties (adrian does not end up making it a polycule, but adam and nick still date) and wants to meet up with them again to regroup cuz adrian is fucked up to the most after all of that. (i am not having gman show up to plot explain shit to adrian cuz i think thats stupid)

now at this point adam is looking at adrian and is like, damn this is all my fault that hes gone on this suicide mission to kill a guy who didnt even do the crime, and this time round adam is going to be the bigger man and say "hey man, i was the one who killed ur brother, u dont gotta be fighting two wars at once" this causes adrian to just fucking loose it honestly, damn near kills adam but thankfully nick is there to buffer, and once seperated adrian just sobs, and this time adam and adrian get to talk shit out, adam also kinda says that he saw gman take mitchs body so he might still have him somewhere, so now were like wait shid is mitch still somewhere, this eventually si confirmed by the vortigaunts who can see that oh yeah these bitches have been fucked with by gman also ur brothers alive and gmans got him in his clutches

so since adrian technically did his job gmans not gonna come after him all that much, specially since adrians gonna continue to fight with the resistance to help freeman so hes doing overtime at this point

so eventually he still goes to borealis, but this time in a timely manner since he finds out about it thru the resistance, using the avalon vale, but also with an ulterior motive to a) kill that sunuvabitch gman and b) get mitch back adn thats the end of the game !

honestly, it would make more sense to not have gman force adrian to kill freeman but i decided to keep it that way so that its still hdtf, but honestly, it seems more likely with adrian there that gman would tell adrian to go help out the resistance, but we can write that option off as gman being a messy bitch lmao

#ask #iwillspeakincessantly #ponderingradioactivedecay

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