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crescencestudio · 7 months

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Devlog #35 | 09.26.23

Hi everyone!

Hope the beginning of Fall has been kind to you all <3 To be Frank, it has not been Kind to me LMFAO. But I'll get into that, so let's dive in yippee!

Before I do, someone liked this post recently, which was such a throwback. It was before the full demo was out and everything!! I was so young and full of life. I'm going to sprinkle some comparison shots of the new assets with the old ones to break up the text and also walk down memory lane with me! (Full GUI not shown as I'm still waiting on the assets)

Chapter Cards (Left: After | Right: Before)

The "Progress"

I'm going to structure this devlog a little differently from the usual template. The main reason being, for those of you who didn't see, I have not been feeling Myself recently.

This month I found myself all out of sorts. While I felt like I was making progress and doing so much everyday read: fighting for my life, when I looked back on things at the end of this month, I didn't feel like I really did much.

On a higher level, I finished fulfilling Kickstarter physical rewards, opened a Kofi shop of the remaining merch, edited Druk's route and continued writing Etza's route, updated assets and code for the updated demo, and then general commission stuff (BGs from Vui, soundtracks from Peter, etc.).

But overall, Alaris felt largely like it was kinda sitting at around the same spot as it did when I entered this month. Which made me a little sad! I had wanted to make So Much Progress on Alaris because next month I won't be able to work on it really. Then, I realized I haven't taken a break from game development since I started it two years ago HA!!!

The Real Progress

Development for me has been back-to-back. Chapter releases every 1-2 months during my first half year of development, Full Demo release shortly after, Kickstarter shortly after, Full Game Development shortly after. When I was feeling burnt out from Alaris, I made intertwine. Then I was Heavily Involved in the development of two games shortly after.

All of this on top of my IRL responsibilities, which include a job, PhD school, and well, functioning as a normal human occasionally.

And then here we are at the end of September 2023, and I'm wondering why even though I creatively want to work on Alaris, I find my brain literally just getting too tired to think.

Etza CG (Left: After | Right: Before)

I think ever since the Kickstarter, I've put a lot of pressure on myself to consistently put out LOTS of updates for each monthly devlog. I don't want people to think I'm not working on things or I'm not committed to delivering after giving me their hard earned money. But now, with two years under my belt, I'm realizing that is... HMM maybe too high of a standard to put on myself for my first game ever. There are many much more seasoned developers than me who don't put that pressure on themselves (which is Good and Healthy).

So this month, I debated scrounging around and gathering all my crumbs to give you all a devlog that you'll be satisfied with. But I decided ultimately that wouldn't be good for me and would honestly not be the most transparent way to present the current process of things.

And so. Here I am. Head in my Hands. Letting you all know that while I'm not "burnt out," I am.... only human LOL (one human at that). And so some months, like this one, will just not have much progress to report. Not because I'm not working on it or any other deeper reason. But because it's physically impossible and unreasonable for me to be continuously pushing out a steady stream of content.

In-Game Sprites & BGs (Left: After | Right: Before)

Next month, I'lll be taking a vacation. It's actually my first Big, Official one in a Long Time! I'm very excited for it. And while I did initially think about working on Alaris while I was traveling on trains or things like that, I decided to respect my own need to be a Human and just take a break for once in my life. I don't even want to say I Might work on things, because that sentiment alone will pressure me to make some progress. So yes. Next month, there will be no devlog or updates. But please rest assured, I am "working on Alaris" by letting myself just Exist and Rest Up!

Not an Alaris screenshot but it is market research that deserves to be included because I played House in Fata Morgana recently and it was Phenomenal!

Thank you all for understanding and your continued support. I'm extremely appreciative to have such a kind and patient community. Hope you all have a wonderful October filled with Fall Treats, and I'll see you in November! <3

#alaris #devlog

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farfromsugafanfic · 3 years

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Sutures - Chapter Nine: Lost In Japan

Genre: Soulmates AU, Idiots to Lovers, slight Enemies to Lovers

Pairing: Yoongi/Named Reader

Warnings (chapter specific): chest pain, health problems, getting lost

Synopsis: “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” –Jean de la Fontaine

There was only one thing you and Min Yoongi had in common that night. You were both brokenhearted. You only intended to be together for one night, but when you both end up in the hospital the next day you discover that you are soulmates. It could kill you to be apart. As you and Yoongi attempt to sever the bond between you, will another be formed?

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When you landed in Japan, your phone was already blowing up with notifications.

"Jang Sumi Seen With Min Yoongi's Bodyguard"

"Jang Sumi Joining BTS In Japan For Promotions"

The cameras already waited when you stepped into the airport. You were in the middle of the members, and instead of stopping for pictures like normal, bodyguards flanked in between the eight of you and the cameras.

You felt as Yoongi reached down and softly took your hand. You looked back at him with a confused look and he just shrugged.

"They all have their assumptions anyway," he said. "Just keep going. They'll try to get in our way, but just keep going. They won't bother you if you're with me."

You moved through the crowd with Yoongi's hand as your anchor. You heard the various fans gasping and screaming and the paparazzi asking questions and trying to provoke you and the members into a response, but before you knew it, you were in the back of a van and fastening your seatbelt. The satisfying click making you smile. You made it.

Yoongi was beside you. He still held your hand and you wondered if he noticed. His thumb rubbed lightly over your knuckles in a quick, sweeping motion. You didn't necessarily mind him holding your hand, it was just that there was no use for it now.

The van door shut as Jimin got in and plopped down beside you. A few seconds later, the van was moving.

"My phone blew up when we landed," you said. "Apparently, the bodyguard who helped me through the airport was your bodyguard?"

"Oh, yeah," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"What did you do then?"

"Eh, we had plenty of bodyguards," he said. "Since we were in a group, it was unnecessary to have mine."

"But, Yoongi, I know things have happened to you in airports before. You're an idol. You're a bigger risk."

"Sumi, I lent him to you and something still happened," Yoongi said, his thumb brushing over your knuckles again, but slower this time.

"You really don't have to worry about us, Sumi," Jimin said. His eyes were closed and you'd honestly thought he was asleep. "We have enough bodyguards and we have Jungkook." Jimin kicked the back of the youngest's seat, who sat in front of him.

You laughed and dropped the subject and instead gazed out the window at Tokyo. You'd only truly been to the city once when you were a kid, although you'd had many layovers in the Tokyo airport on your flight to and from the US.

---

"There's a problem with the hotel," Se-jin said, coming back out to the van. Most of the members were barely awake due to their busy schedules and how they'd gotten used to sleeping on most forms of transportation. "A fire sprinkler in Sumi's room burst and it flooded the whole room. The flooding is contained in her room due to the staff. Are you okay sharing a room, Sumi?"

You nodded. "Yeah," you said. "That's fine."

"All right, does anyone--"

"I will!" All of the members shouted at once. You were amazed that despite their perceived states of sleep, they all appeared to be awake and fully listening. You laughed.

"She'll stay with me," Yoongi said.

You turned to look at him surprised. "But, what about the rumors?"

"They know we're soulmates at this point. And, if you got caught staying with one of the other members, what do you think they would think?"

Your brow furrowed. They already thought you had cheated on Minki with Yoongi, but if the media began circulating that you were cheating on Yoongi, you could only imagine the backlash you would receive.

"Yeah, okay," you said. "I'll stay with Yoongi." Se-jin nodded and closed the van door as he went back into the hotel to finish checking in.

"We've rented out the whole floor, so there should be no way anyone will find out," Yoongi said, giving you a small smile.

"Then, why couldn't I stay with one of the other boys?" you asked, your lips curving into a smirk.

Yoongi's ears turned red and he looked between you and the other members who watched in loving amusement.

"Just in case."

---

By the time you all got checked in and everything unloaded, the sun was beginning to set. You saw no point in unpacking your suitcase completely when you were only staying for four days. However, you unpacked your toiletries and headed to the bathroom.

"Do you need to shower--?" you ask, but the words are left in the air as you notice Yoongi dropping the extra pillows and blankets from the closet onto the couch. "What are you doing?"

"Setting up my bed." He smoothed out the blankets and placed the pillow on one end of the couch.

"You don't have to sleep on the couch. I trust you. It's not like we haven't shared a bed before."

"It's not that," Yoongi said. "I don't trust the urges. We've only had one, but I'm afraid if we lay together in bed. It would just trigger something."

You nodded. "You're right. But, I'll sleep on the couch. This is your room."

Yoongi shrugged and shook his head before falling back onto the couch and crossing his hands over his stomach. "Go take your shower."

You sighed and went into the bathroom and took the shower you'd been long awaiting. Despite the coffee having been spilled on you hours before and changing into Yoongi's shirt, you could still feel the sticky cream-filled coffee on your skin. You undressed and folded Yoongi's shirt and placed it on the counter so that it wouldn't get wet and continued to undress. Only when you had finished did you realize that you'd forgotten to bring your pajamas with you.

---

"Yoongi?" you asked, peeking your head out the bathroom. "Are you awake?"

Yoongi chose not to respond as you emerged from the bathroom in one of the hotel's white bathrobes. He didn't respond because he wanted you to strip in front of him, but rather, he was hoping to be asleep within a few minutes anyway.

As he heard you shuffle back towards the bed, he heard a small scuffle and you curse under your breath. He opened his eyes to see you standing by the bed as nothing happened. You unfastened the robe and allowed it to fall.

Yoongi only caught a glance of your bare back before he shut his eyes again, although he felt a stirring in his stomach. He could only curse in his head as he attempted to focus on anything else. He didn't catch a glimpse of anything super sexual, but it didn't matter. Yoongi hoped this wouldn't lead to another urge. While he wanted nothing more than to pull you into him and kiss you up and down your body, he knew he couldn't for the sake of severing the soulmate bond.

There were a few seconds of silence. He figured you'd finished getting dressed, but the light was still on and he hadn't heard you climb into the bed. He opened his eyes only to be met with a pillow to the face.

"I knew you weren't asleep!" you said, holding the pillow above your head to bring back down upon him. Yoongi acted quickly and sat up and grabbed the pillow and tossed it to the side.

You were dumbfounded for a second until you heard Yoongi laugh. "What was your plan exactly?"

You shrugged. "I don't know. I just wanted to prove you were being a creep." You wiggled your eyebrows as a smirk came over your face.

"Hey! I didn't see anything. I kept my eyes closed."

"Mmm," you said. "I don't believe you."

Before Yoongi could respond, a silence came over the two of you as you both simultaneously realized that you were straddling his lap and you could feel him pressing into you.

"Sorry," he whispered as you climbed off of him.

You shook your head. "No, it's okay. You didn't mean to. Let's, uh, let's go to bed."

"Wait, Sumi, what are your plans for tomorrow?"

"I just plan on going out and exploring a bit. I've never got to explore the city. Probably do some shopping, visit temples." Your eyes narrowed in curiosity. "Why?"

"I'll be working," he said. "Just make sure to get back here before me so we don't risk anything. I'm supposed to be done with the fan sign at five."

You nodded. "You don't think being away from each other in general will cause anything?"

It was only then that Yoongi realized that you hadn't been away from each other for nearly two weeks. While you might not be physically together, you were always within the same building or space. "I think it's been enough time."

You nodded as you climbed under the covers of the bed and reached over to turn off the bedside lamp. Even in the dark, Yoongi could make out as you pulled the covers up to your chin and turned on your side. It made him smile.

"Goodnight, Yoongi."

"Goodnight."

---

Your knees ached by midday, but your day alone in the city had been one of the best you'd had in years. You hadn't been truly alone for what felt like months. Sure, you slept alone and you could easily duck in the bathroom for five minutes of peace, but this was freedom you didn't think you'd have after the whole soulmate thing happened.

Yoongi was gone when you'd woke up that morning, the blanket tossed to one side of the couch. Not neat, but not exactly messy. It was odd, not feeling the aching in his chest when he was gone. You knew there were exceptions for when you were obligated to be apart, but since Yoongi worked so much, maybe it wouldn't be so horrible.

Your mind had still wandered to Yoongi throughout the day. Occasionally, you'd see a BTS ad campaign or someone wearing merch, but what really caught your attention was a small Kumamon figure. It was clearly meant to act as a paperweight or just to decorate a desk. You'd noticed that Yoongi seemed to like the character and after a quick Google search, it was confirmed. You bought the figure and tossed it into your purse.

With shopping bags in your hands and your camera in your hand, you managed to use your one free hand to pull out enough money to buy a taiyaki. You thanked the woman who handed it to you in your best rudimental Japanese.

You were a few blocks away and halfway through your taiyaki when you thought to check the time. You nearly dropped the sweet bun when you realized it was 4:50 pm. Yoongi was due to be done in ten minutes and you were at least a half hour walk from the hotel--if not more.

You rush out to the side of the road and attempt to hail a taxi. The first few passed you, but eventually one stopped and you frantically told the driver the name of the hotel.

Within five minutes, the driver only managed to get a few blocks because of rush hour traffic. With nowhere to go, you were stranded. You'd gone the whole day without making a scene or being recognized (although maybe because you wore a baseball cap and mask), despite your face on the cover of magazine articles everywhere. And, you were afraid that you were going to have to end up on more of them to get out of this.

You waited another five minutes before handing the driver a wad of cash that was definitely too much and apologizing as you got out of the cab. Carrying your bags and purse on your arm, you ran across the stopped lanes of traffic and tried to ignore the car horns and confused shouts. You checked the time. 5:01 pm. You ran and pulled up the GPS on your phone and entered the hotel address.

Your vision blurred and you felt a small pull in your chest. It was warning you.

---

Something felt off as the van pulled up to the back door of the hotel. His palms begin to sweat and his heart beat against his chest as if he were sprinting. The door to the van opened and Yoongi didn't even remember it stopping or the rest of the members climbing out.

"Yoongi?" one of the members called.

Yoongi managed to his feet and out of the van but nearly collapsed against Jin, who grabbed him by the shoulder to stabilize him. He doesn't get far before he collapses against the wall of the hotel, his neck lulling back.

"Yoongi, what's wrong?"

"Sumi...she must not be back yet..."

Yoongi hears some talking and shuffling, but barely understands anything as two of the boys lift him up and inside the hotel.

"They're going to look for her, Yoongi. It will be okay."

---

You'd made it a few more blocks, although you could barely tell. You were running, even though your vision was so blurred you could barely see. You used the buildings on the side as your guide and hoped you wouldn't bump into anyone.

Your heart was beating out of your chest and you honestly couldn't tell if it was because of the running or that Yoongi was back at the hotel. You felt lightheaded and even with your headphones in you could barely hear the directions your GPS was telling you.

The edges of your vision begin going black and you feel your knees hit the pavement. This was it. You hoped a passerby would stop and at least call an ambulance.

"Sumi!" someone a short distance away shouted.

You couldn't make out their faces, but you could see figures running through the crowd towards you. As you slumped against the nearest wall, you felt yourself being scooped up.

"Sumi, Sumi, it's okay. We're not too far away. Come on, stay awake."

You recognized Jungkook's face and allowed your face to fall against his T-shirt. It felt warm, but as you neared the hotel, your senses clearing a tiny bit, you realized it was a little too warm. You remembered back to the day before when you'd accidentally burned Tae's hand.

"I-I'm sorry," you said. "It doesn't hurt does it?"

"It was just the T-shirt. Don't worry about it, Sumi."

His voice is soft and you can barely hear him over the commotion you're approaching. You can already hear the slew of photographers who are inside the lobby of the hotel and outside on the sidewalk. They haven't seemed to notice you yet, as their camera flashes and yells are aimed elsewhere.

"Jungkook! Jimin!" Se-jin called from the alleyway where he held open a service door normally only used for employees. While your vision had cleared, you still felt out of breath and your heart still convulsed in your chest.

Jungkook ran towards the door and immediately into a service elevator. He didn't drop you back on your feet like you had expected him to. His arms were slung under your knees and around your shoulders. You wondered why you weren't burning his arms. Maybe because he wasn't touching your skin? Maybe the soulmate curse somehow recognized that he was helping you get closer to Yoongi? Whatever it was, you were thankful that beyond burning a small black hole in his T-shirt, you hadn't hurt him.

The elevator dinged and Jungkook rushed you into your hotel room. Yoongi was already on the bed, a cloth on his forehead. He was sweaty, his shirt pulled up, exposing his stomach and his hair pushed back.

Jungkook plopped you down on the bed beside Yoongi. Your breath evened out and your muscles relaxed, but the dull ache in your chest remained.

"Do you guys need anything?"

"Just some water."

Jungkook went to the sink and filled a glass with water and set it on the bedside table beside you. "Just text or call one of us if you need anything."

You nodded and Jungkook left the room. As soon as the door shut, Yoongi's arms around you and your face in his chest. His lips came to your forehead and you released a breath you hadn't realized you'd been holding.

"I lost track of time," you said. "I tried to take a taxi, but it was rush hour."

"It's okay. It's not your fault. It was harder than we thought it would be."

"Do you think we'll ever break it?" you asked. "If this was so difficult, if we can't even be apart due to a simple mistake, even if we were in love, how would we fix this?"

"I don't know. But, you should get some sleep."

"You too."

You rested your head on Yoongi's shoulder, his arm slung around you comfortably, fitting perfectly against your waist and in the swell of your hips. It was the only place your body would allow you to be, but even if it was just the soulmate curse, even if you didn't love Yoongi, you knew there was no other place you wanted to be than his arms.

---

You fell asleep long before Yoongi did. Your small breaths tickling the skin on his neck and you were so still in his arms, only the way your chest moved slowly up and down indicated that you were still alive.

He'd never tell you, but he loved the way you looked when you slept. You scrunched your face up like a fussy baby and sometimes you'd make small moans in reactions to whatever happened in your dreams.

It was nearly 1 am and Yoongi couldn't sleep. There were still pangs in his chest, but he wasn't sure if it was due to the earlier ordeal, or something else. He looked down at your sleeping form and carefully tucked stray hairs behind your ear. The ends of your hair were still a little damp with sweat, but he didn't care.

You smiled at his touch and burrowed deeper into him. So deep, in fact, Yoongi wasn't sure you'd ever come out.

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