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quirofiliac · 1 month

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sexuality, in general, isn't entirely alien to kira. however, this isn't to say that he's well-versed in the subject, either. moreover, it's a "concept" that he himself finds much interest in-- inherently, it is something that he's never thought much of. it is neither a complicated nor simple subject matter in his perspective and, as such, obligates him to barely (like skimming your finger across the water's surface.) indulge with.

for the majority of his life, kira more or less understood sexuality in a very black and white manner: heterosexual was assumed as default unless otherwise stated. nowadays, he still tends to lean this way (it's not intentional but, rather, it's subconscious.) though will occasionally "catch" himself and correct accordingly. again, though, this isn't a huge priority of his and is treated as such. it's not so much necessity but something he's learned to "keep in mind" for sake of keeping up with society and its ever-changing economics.

to say that kira identified as heterosexual, however, would be oversimplifying his own journey. he never bothered to give it much thought, instead assuming he was the "default" sexuality. so, in a way, he did identify as heterosexual but not by cause of his own exploration or anything of the sort. kira yoshikage was straight because, by basic deduction, everyone else around him was, also, straight.

there was no reason for him to explore this side of himself as there was, objectively, no purpose to doing so. he found that he was attracted to women (or, at risk of sounding pedantic, their hands more-so.) and left it at that. whenever he was made to share a space with a man andor those that leaned towards the masculine end of the spectrum, he felt nothing.

the thought of glancing at a man's hand never crossed his mind.

whenever he was in the presence of a woman, however? there was always that inherent -- insidious as it was, a man's libido was not to be trifled with -- urge (it wasn't a curiosity. it was necessary, hardwired into him like some sort of... code.) to look. even if it were a fleeting glance? that was more than enough. stealing only a glimpse of a woman's hands was proof to kira that his sexuality was unmistakably rigid and straight; it was once a fact that brought him an eerie sense of comfort.

he didn't take pride in "being" heterosexual. rather, it was the fact that he understood himself and no longer had to ponder on it. additionally, there was an unspoken sort of agreement between him and society that he was "just like everyone else". it helped him feel normal-- or, well, what the most barebones idea of "normal" was.

while many others, boys especially, would discover their various preferences (kinks, fetishes, spank bank, and everything in-between.) through expected means such as magazines, television, cinema, or, of course, pornography? kira found his comfort in the likes of the mona lisa. once again, too, he didn't give it any further thought. she was a woman (or was, at least, depicted as such.) and, due to that, helped kira realize his own tastes and come to terms with them all the quicker.

her existence expedited the process and, for that, kira thought it appropriate to express at least a modicum of gratitude. not much, mind you. she was just a painting, after all.

as it happens, he was at peace with himself and his orientation. by cause and effect, there was no need whatsoever for him to pursue further. he was fine with presenting as the "default", even if it meant dealing with the occasional "hey, what's your type, yoshikage?" ("i prefer them in pieces," is what he thinks but says, instead, "blondes, i suppose.") opener. it was a small price to pay (sometimes he prefers brunettes. other times he likes redheads.) in exchange for the ultimate comfort: peace and quiet.

however, things rarely stay the same forever. kira might've or might've not learned this the hard way.

he's still deciding.

meeting one kishibe rohan -- in an unexpected and harrowing way, both in time and place -- certainly wasn't what kira thought to be his "awakening", as some might put it. due to his relationship with rohan, taking place over the course of more than just a couple of months (it feels like years, stuck in place like a mouse in a trap.) whilst leaving the two of them no room to compromise, kira had no choice but to adapt. maybe improvise and overcome would've come next, but they never did. it'd just be a waste of time and energy now.

it's difficult to say if kira himself actively identifies as bisexual, considering his attraction for rohan (both inside and outside, outwardly and internally, til death do they part.) appears to be... individualistic. he, to this day, doesn't feel much for others of the same sex or gender as he is but tends not to dwell. there could be, perhaps, the simple excuse of, "why would i want to be attracted to any man other than him?" which has become a much needed source of comfort.

this isn't to say kira's "attraction" towards women (it's the chase-- the act of fixing them and teaching them.) has dwindled, but he has managed to adjust his trajectory. he no longer considers himself a bachelor -- though, if asked and if it's the easier option, he will... sometimes say it if only to escape a conversation quicker -- and actively rejects a woman's "advances" (naughty, naughty girl! can't she see he's already taken, happily engaged forever and ever and then some?) whenever put on the spot.

this, of course, applies to women with a full body and those without. although, at that point? it's just common sense and needn't be said.

because of the execution of said journey into discovery and the lack of education from kira's part, it's hard for him to give a direct answer on his orientation. he's thankful for, at the very least, that it doesn't seem to come up in conversation often. being asked on if he's seeing someone and answering honestly is a far easier task than actually having to explain one's self, and he's already experienced it a few too many times. reactions weren't as strong as he might've expected (he's heard slurs fly around like candy at a parade, derogatory comments made by the same men who asked him what kind of girl he likes.) but it's safer for him to, simply put, avoid the risk altogether.

the idea of liking someone of a similar caliber ("but we're both men," kira remembers saying, feeling like he walked straight out of a romcom. he wanted to kill himself once realizing, the feeling intensifying when rohan snorted before bursting out into laughter.) as he doesn't necessarily bother kira. moreover, it's the idea that he's no longer presumed as the "default" and wonders if that turns him into a target. rohan himself is confident and open-minded, proudly displaying himself to the world. maybe it's because he doesn't care. he's found himself wondering, because of this, if rohan himself was never seen as "normal" anyway. perhaps it didn't bother him in the first place.

it's not envy that he feels towards this potential. he just wonders why it's so easy for someone else other than him. what makes it a bigger and harder pill to swallow, too, is that he knows a solution for this conundrum just doesn't exist.

to this day, kira doesn't think much about his sexuality. it's both a conscious and subconscious decision, done to prevent any further misgivings and an unintentional foray into a place he just... doesn't understand. fear and worry, too, might be a partial factor.

life is so much easier, after all, if you just go with the flow.

#＊ 💥 断片：headcanon.#praying this makes sense arrhgghrhgh #ask to tag /

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pathwinding · 8 months

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Jewitch Self-Analysis: Belief

There are so many theistic perspectives. And there are so many types of Jews. (And witches.) And I don't feel like I fit neatly into any of these belief boxes.

I frequently think of this little post. Just that snappy little reply helped me reach the epiphany I don't believe nor disbelieve in anything in particular, but experience some secret third thing. Something more subtle, wavering, possibly agnostic but possibly apathetic in the least emotionally apathetic manner (I care so much about this). The spiritual version of genderfluidity. Never the same in different contexts.

I trust everyone to have truths that are beautiful and also a bit wrong, and also crucial to revealing a deeper truth that I am just barely caressing. I am also wrong, but without proof that others' are objectively correct all I have to go on is what I observe and what is contained within my mind. I am skeptic of both the believers and the skeptics. I try what I can within the limits of this human body.

Belief is a powerful tool, and can alter an individual's health and behavior which can domino in huge things like wars and movements. I don't not have belief, but I also feel I am in such a metacognitive limbo I can't say I do have it. I tell others "it doesn't matter to me whether this is true or not" because that's simple to convey, but I also know that belief does matter. I just said how powerful it is. Maybe "it matters not" in a way that matters greatly on an objective level...?

It's confusing to try to put this feeling into words.

But perhaps that's the key word, "objective." Perhaps belief matters objectively, but for me, subjectively, whether I am committed to a belief or not doesn't matter. Not emotionally, anyways. I should still act. I do still act. I will still act. And I will feel as a result of those actions.

That one specific philosophical aspect of tzedakah, that actions matter more than intent, is something I cling to. It does just as much good to add coins to the box by someone who is bitter about it as someone who is thrilled about it. Just as much good to rescue a hurt animal while cussing about being late to work as it is to do so while praying. Actions speak louder than the thoughts driving them.

So I can strive for betterment of myself and the world around me without the intent of belief behind these actions. I don't need a higher power to do things, and if it's through a higher power that I do things then that's just as fine. I don't need free will to carry out fulfilling actions, but if there is no inevitability I will reach the same level of satisfaction. My ability to observe is limited, running on this simple human machine, and there is a mystery about the future that is tantalizing.

It makes sense to me why people believe things, and why people reject things. I can feel both attitudes bubbling within me. But they're so deep and inaccessible, consumed instead by my curiosity. I am happy and willing to put aside my possible conclusions of the world just to continue to observe for as long as I can. My conclusions are useless without all the evidence, after all.

When I die, the greatest tragedy I will experience won't be whether there is or isn't an afterlife, but the fact that I won't be able to accept all theories as relevant and possible anymore.

Tying this to my Jewitch self-analysis...

I have the balance of belief/disbelief in me for both Jewish and witchcraft thought, and neither is able to push out the other. Both directions call to the turnings of my mind, even if sometimes it feels more like a primal, cultural yearning. I can't be satisfied by one direction over the other, because I can't fully commit to belief in just one. All I feel like I can do is act, and observe those who are deeper in the beliefs (often with the taste of envy while I'm at it).

It's my hope that through practicing these things I'm inclined to, that I might find myself leaving belief limbo. Even if not (which is likely), my actions will be aimed at betterment of me and those around me. And so I can increase the good in the world.

#pathwinding #jewitch self-analysis #Jewitch #belief

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boysenberrysoda · 3 years

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Thoughts on 302: The Blame, The Guilt, The Responsibility

Those are three different things, and all of them are addressed in chapter 302 -- who is to blame, who carries guilt, and who should take responsibility when it comes to dealing with Dabi.

The narrative makes it pretty clear that the blame falls on Enji and, to an extent, Rei.

Enji, obviously, because he consciously and explicitly had a son for the sole purpose of living vicariously through him, by placing his own unmet expectations on a child’s shoulders, and then washing his hands of him when his son couldn’t meet those expectations. And then did it again, all while Touya knew he’d been 1) born for a reason, 2) unable to fulfill that reason, 3) replaced.

When confronted with the despair he’d caused his son, Enji’s go-to response was to deny and shift the blame. He’s depicted as being wreathed in shadows, only his furious eyes visible, whenever he does this; he’s clearly in the wrong here. He did have the power to acknowledge and care for his children -- he just refused to see anything beyond competitive pro-heroism, time and time again.

It’s only now that he’s seen what’s become of Touya that he’s finally accepted he could have done something different. That he shouldn’t have, in fact, basically thrown away his children when they proved to not suit his own goals.

Rei, in contrast, doesn’t deny her own agency in the situation. Yes, she was in a terrible position, and must have certainly felt powerless -- but she wasn’t some plastic bag being blown away by the wind all her life. She made choices.

She agreed to a quirk marriage knowing Enji wanted a tool more than a son, thoughts mostly on how to bear a loveless marriage and not, I suspect, on what that would do to her (then-hypothetical) son. As far as we know, she didn’t oppose putting the weight of “be strong enough to beat All Might” on Touya, only objected to replacing him so cruelly when Enji decided he’d never be able to.

That’s as far as blame can be placed on Rei. She did try to help Touya, tried to talk him into living his life for his own sake, and never mind his father’s goals and attention. She just... couldn’t do it.

(tbh I’d still place, like, 85% of the blame on Enji, but listen. We stan responsible parenting. It says good things about Rei that she reflects on her choices and acknowledges mistakes.)

Guilt is a whole other matter.

Now this is my personal opinion, but I don’t think victims are to blame for having mental breakdowns when people who have power over them “get worse”. Guilt is a natural response when you hurt someone, whether you meant to or not. Guilt helps us identify right from wrong; it's not necessarily a bad thing to feel.

However --

(Fuyumi, nooooo-)

Misplaced guilt is just torture.

Neither Fuyumi nor Natsuo (nor Shouto!!!) had any blame in this situation. Fuyumi’s comment especially hurts my heart because this is a child who felt responsible for her parent’s emotional stability, who blames herself for not preventing the emotional outbursts of her caretakers when she was barely a teenager herself.

This is where the difference between guilt and responsibility comes in.

Well, Rei may be right -- if someone you care about has a mental break, you do have a responsibility to help if you can at all help them (this is, again, an opinion, since I know some people would dispute it...) because you love them, and whatever pain they carry you also bear -- but this has nothing to do with Fuyumi’s last statement.

Fuyumi wasn’t expressing familial responsibility, she was expressing misplaced guilt. So was Natsuo, to a degree (though I think he felt more regret than guilt), but Fuyumi’s comment was really out there! She could not have in any way fixed her parent’s problems. And it’s messed up that no one addressed this.

From a narrative perspective, I guess it wouldn’t make sense for someone to address it; it would divert the scene. It’s supposed to be a scene about the Todorokis coming together (and maybe set up something with Hawks and BJ), and any heart-to-hearts should serve this purpose. BNHA, a shonen manga, doesn’t focus on the comfort when it can focus on the action.

But why have Fuyumi say anything at all? Why have her say that?

I am not offering an answer, I am once again questioning Horikoshi’s understanding of the situation, his depiction of child abuse and neglect.

Is he trying to bring realism to story (”this is how a real person would feel, and they likely wouldn’t be corrected”)? Or is he framing the statement as the truth (”Fuyumi is correct in feeling this guilt, so no one is going to address it”)? Is he conflating guilt with blame and responsibility?

(Isn’t analysis fun?)

So to reiterate:

Those who hold the blame are those whose actions led to this happening.

The Todorokis feeling guilty is a natural reaction, if sometimes misplaced.

That they all hold themselves responsible for whatever happens next doesn’t necessarily mean they are at fault for Touya becoming Dabi -- at least, it shouldn’t. Duty to family is, you know, a thing that exists outside of guilt.

Stop shitting on Rei for saying they all have a responsibility. Stop blaming her for the wrong things. Woops.

#bnha #bnha spoilers #bnha 302 #mha spoilers #abuse cw #neglect cw #todoroki rei #todoroki family #todofam #todoroki touya #dabi #text #long post #meta #if you read all of it you're a trooper #ahahaha yeah i had an agenda #this is a pro-rei blog #boysen breaks their vow of silence

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mindibindi · 3 years

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Beyond disappointed in Ted Lasso. What were they thinking?!

The writing is a complete betrayal and insult to Rebecca’s character and Hannah’s skills as they’re being seriously underused. It’s also insulting Sam’s character.

Hoping someone pulls Rebecca’s head out of her ass tbh. Sam shouldn’t be getting caught in the crossfire of her looking for romance. I know he showed up at her doorstep but she still should’ve turned him away, and not even messaged him in the first place.

Hey, I'm with you, Anon, though we do seem to be in the minority. Sam is definitely not blameless here, he is also in the wrong. But if one of them is more in the wrong, it is Rebecca. I can't speak to whether her head has left her arse as yet because I have quit watching (at least for now). I hear she called it off with Sam in the most recent ep, though not because of any major crisis of conscience or because anyone in her inner circle expressed any reasonable reservations in response to her bad behaviour. And to be honest, I'm not sure we should need to hope and pray that Rebecca's precocious god-daughter, her slimy ex-husband, or the brutal British press will act as a moral compass on this ill-advised relationship. Both Rupert and the press have been set up to some extent as the villains of the piece. And a 14 year old should never have to school her elders on what is and isn't acceptable. Nora's needs have already been neglected by Rebecca for far too long.

If a moral position is to be taken on this, it needs to be taken by the show (because stance matters) and/or by its characters. But the show has for the most part depicted this relationship as ill-advised but ultimately hot, sweet, funny and romantic. As for the characters themselves, Sam has shown at least once that he has some moral backbone but seems to be adorably clueless when it comes to fucking his boss who keeps trying to set boundaries with him. Meanwhile, Rebecca's whole arc in s1 was about learning not to misuse her power for her own selfish ends. In season one, she misused her power within the club in order to exact revenge. In season 2, we have seen her misuse her sexual power, though I still cannot see to what end. I'm a bit at a loss as to what exactly she gets out of this 'relationship' but then I'm a grown woman so I have absolutely no interest in sleeping with a Harry Potter enthusiast barely out of his teens. I couldn't think of anything less sexy and more ick. I was certainly hoping for better character development for her this season.

As to what the writers were thinking, obviously I was not in the writer's room, but I would guess that they were thinking that any drama is good drama, people are stupid and fan devotion will trump any meaningful critique. In other words, they were thinking exactly how every other television writer thinks, despite the fact that this show posited itself as 'not like other TV shows'. This, to me, is where the blame really lies. Not with the characters or with the actors who are doing their best to sell this ludicrous turn of events. It must be noted, however, that both actors were completely blindsided by this relationship that had supposedly been so cleverly foreshadowed. Newsflash: if the people actually living these stories did not see this coming then you haven't foreshadowed shit. Sure, there were a handful of people that paired Rebecca with Sam but this does not constitute proof either. Fans have free-range to imagine and re-imagine characters. In some cases this may extend to imagining relationships between characters who have barely, if ever, interacted. There may be little to no evidence that these characters have even clocked each other's existence and some fans will still ship it. The existence of a handful of shippers does not legitimise such a problematic and divisive plotline making it onscreen.

But wait!, you might argue, this may not be a case of a popular show seeing just how far they can stretch fan devotion. This may not be a case of fan service to a handful of shippers. After all, the creators mapped out the entire three-season arc of Ted Lasso before they even pitched it to Apple. This was their brilliant plan all along! To which I would say: then maybe they should've rethought their second act based on people's strong reactions to their first. Ted Lasso was touted as the show we all needed in 2020. The writers and creators have all marveled at the chord it struck considering it was conceived prior to the pandemic and all the chaos it wrought. And while there is something to be said for having/sticking to a creative vision, there is also something to be said for being flexible and responsive to your audience and the cultural zeitgeist with which you're engaged. Season 1 of Ted Lasso told its story so gently, without creating distrust, division or unnecessary anxiety. It did not treat its audience like a gaggle of stupid lemmings to be led over a succession of narrative cliffs. THIS is what I mean when I say the show has broken with its brand. And look, this whole dark forest thing would be okay if the narrative arc was as well-crafted as s1. Season 1 gave us meaning, cohesion, comfort, sense in a senseless time. It was an almost perfectly crafted season of television. And I kept the faith for 6 episodes, despite the first half of s2 being pretty damn wobbly. But the follow-up to this stellar debut has been less than extraordinary so yeah, perhaps they should've thought a little harder about what made s1 so special before throwing it all out the window.

But wait!, I hear the faithful say, you don't know how things will pan out yet! Wait until the season is over and everything will make sense! But -- wearily and once again, I say -- we should not need to wait until the end of the season to understand what the hell is happening. By this point (over halfway through the season and show) we should have a v clear idea of the show's themes and the characters' arcs. And tbf, from what I can tell there are some fab things happening in other aspects of the show that I wish I could watch and enjoy. But my biggest fear at this point is that they are going to use Sam to solve Rebecca's childlessness. That, like Rupert (because the parallel cannot be avoided), she will become pregnant with a young fling and the show's attitude to this relationship will ultimately be: oh well, it was a bad idea and didn't work out for them but it was all for the best in the end cos who can be mad about a cute lil baaaayyybbbeeee??!! If they do go down this path then I will definitely be abstaining from the rest of the show. I will simply recall my repeated viewings of s1 with fondness tinged with regret at just how badly they fucked up a good thing.

Ultimately, Anon, I think this may be a case of there simply not being a diverse enough perspective in the writer's room. I am not saying that every single woman or every single person of colour will necessarily object to this relationship. I am simply saying that women and people of colour will be more sensitive to the issues of gender and race that are relevant here but that have not been fully or sensitively acknowledged in the writing of this plotline. Neither am I saying that Rebecca is the first woman to sleep with a man much (much, much, MUCH) younger than herself or indulge in an ill-advised relationship. But the comparison with Rupert both works here and doesn't because Rebecca is not being written like a white woman, she is being written like a white man. Realistically, only a white man can engage in this kind of hugely imbalanced relationship seemingly without any major moral qualms or societal ramifications. Not to put too fine a point on it, but this kind of relationship is reserved for all the Bills and Joes and Brendans and Jasons out there -- not for the Rebeccas and definitely not for the Sams. We are way beyond the point in feminism where we believe that liberation is simply the right for a white woman to behave as badly as a white man. The truth is that whatever wealth, power and privilege Rebecca has, the rules are different for men and women. She will not be treated the same as Rupert if and when this affair is uncovered. She will be treated far more savagely than Rupert ever was and Sam will be treated far more savagely than Bex was. This is not an argument for the equal treatment of these two relationships. It is an argument against how the relationship between Rebecca and Sam has been envisaged, i.e. through the wrong perspective. In writing from a 'neutral' white male pov, the show has invisiblised all the many issues activated by this storyline and revealed a blindspot that was always there.

As much as I loved and still love season 1 of this show, it has definite blindspots when it comes to representations of race and gender. There are at least two moments in s1 that stand out for me as being so obviously written by a man. Not necessarily because of what they do but because of what they don't do: what is missed, absent, unacknowledged. I was willing to overlook such minor failings in a debut season for many reasons. But s2 seems to have exacerbated these minor flaws rather than correcting them. And here I can't help thinking of Tina Fey speaking of the diversification of the writer's room at SNL during her tenure as co-headwriter. This notoriously male-dominated environment only began to shift and produce better work when a greater diversity of minds, voices and persepectives was allowed in the room. In this richer environment, she notes, different jokes played differently. Different sketches made it to air. Different perspectives were represented and different performers were celebrated. I can't help wondering if this plotline would have made it to air if there had been a female writer, a writer of colour or both further up the chain of command to challenge the ideas of the straight white dudes in charge.

One of the reasons I didn't think Ted Lasso was for me was that it centred a straight, white, cis-het, able-bodied man who rose to a position he didn't earn. That is just not a pov I would normally choose for myself, especially now that there is such a rich array of alternative perspectives through which to view the world. But I think the show won a lot of females fans with its first season largely due to its portrayal of Rebecca. She is the first person we meet. She is arguably the protagonist of s1. And while she would have been figured as a villain in previous pieces, the show never took that stance with her (because again, stance matters). Other elements like the depiction of female friendships, all centred around Rebecca, made this show female-friendly viewing. But imo, the major reason this show won over female fans (this one, at least) is because, in this post-MeToo, post-TimesUp era, it stood up and said: domestic violence is not okay, we stand with women and all victims of abuse, we will defend you, we know words can hurt, we know it can happen to anyone, we know all about toxic masculinity, we do not take this lightly and we will support you in your healing. Needless to say, this is how women hope men will act when they speak of their most difficult experiences but it is not how they always do.

The shift away from Rebecca this season has however meant that the white male experience is more centred than it was in s1. Rebecca's journey to recovery, health and happiness has been trivialised and sidelined, reduced to a highly questionable sexcapade. Meanwhile, we get overwrought manpain at every turn. We get Beard wandering around London (no, I haven't seen it and no, I don't need to. We've all been raised on white dudes thinking they're genuises when they have a figurative wank all over our screens). We get NO queer represention at all. And the only other female characters on screen are in care/service roles to men. The father/son, mentoring and toxic masculinity themes are all still there but they're no longer balanced out by ANY other competing perspective. One of the reasons I was okay with Ted failing upwards in s1 was that he used his power and privilege to lift up others. He was the one in service. He used his enormous privilege for good, as anyone with such privilege must. (Admittedly, it could be argued that this is just another version of a white savior narrative).

My point here is that I'm not sure that peeking behind the mask at the sad clown is as revolutionary as some might believe. We love it because it's familiar. But this is a narrative with a long and problematic history. Do I believe in tearing down toxic masculinity in all its forms? You bet. Do I believe that patriarchy traumatises men as well as women and every other minority in existence? I mean...nowhere near as much, but absolutely. Do I believe in men expressing their feelings and going to therapy? Wholeheartedly. But I am also aware that 100 or so years ago, we were in a very similar place with our narratives. Everyone is looking for a recapitulation of modernism and frankly, this might be an indicator of just that. Whenever women and people of colour have demanded rights and recognition, there has always been a resurgence of tales about just how frickin' hard it is to be a white man. Minority genders and non-white people have never in western history been as visible or vocal as they are now. So forgive me (or don't, I don't care) if I critique a show not only for centering fathers, sons, boys and men but for blindly and boldly writing one of its only female characters and one of its only black characters as if their gender and race just do not exist. There are many other power differentials at play in this relationship, including age, experience, wealth and position, but race and gender are the two that patriarchy is most invested in invisiblising. So I don't care how brilliant they think they are, I will not trust the writing of a bunch of white dudes trying to tell me that race and gender are irrelevant.

#ted lasso #rebecca welton #sam obisanya #ask #yeah this one got out of hand

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canyouhearthelight · 3 years

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The Miys, Ch. 128

This is another chapter that I started with one intention and it kind of dragged me the other way. I started with what Miys says at the beginning as a kernel, and...

Yeah, avoiding spoilers, you get...*waves frantically* this. Which I am excited about seeing where it goes.

Kudos to @baelpenrose and @mustachebatarts for this chapter. You’ll both understand when you read it :)

Tyche nodded sleepily as Alistair handed her a cup of coffee, mirroring my own struggle to wake up. It was the beginning of Alpha shift - roughly 6:30am Terran Pacific NorthAm time - and we were starting our week with an extremely rare mission brief. Parvati and Hannah seemed either anxious or excited - possibly a combination - as the last brief they had received was ship-wide when we announced the lighting changes. Neither of them had ever been in one of the Council-only meetings that preceded such announcements.

Due to the growth on the Council - both among administrators and among Mentees - it wasn’t feasible to hold this meeting face to face in the room ordinarily used for such things. As a result, each Councilor was joining from their respective office, along with auxiliary staff who needed to be privy to the information discussed. For someone like Grey, that would be themself, Antoine, and their current admin, Nora. In my case, it was everyone who reported to my office.

“Has everyone joined?” I asked in my role as Parliamentarian for this meeting. No one liked the position, so it rotated.

“Still waiting on Huynh, Charly, and Ivan,” Eino replied.

“We’re here!” an entirely-too-awake voice greeted.

Ignoring the laugh that Alistair and Hannah were suppressing, I forged ahead. “That’s everyone then. Good Morning, Council. Today is January 23rd, 2051 Terran-relative time, 45th day of Von cold season Year four Pre-Colony. We are currently two Terran years from Von. Miys has requested that we gather this morning for an important mission update so that we can prepare. Miys, you have the floor.”

“Thank you, Wisdom. Good day, Human Council.” I couldn’t tell if Miys had practiced or was operating on multiple minds, but the resemblance to a human public-speaker was startling. “As stated by Councilor Wisdom, the Yjq is currently two Terran years from your destination. We requested to address you in order to advise that navigational adjustments will be necessary within one Terran year of the planet you call Von.”

Murmurs erupted on the conference, but no one actually interrupted, so Miys continued. “Due to the density of systems in this portion of the Galaxy, the final Terran year of the journey cannot be made at our current speed. The Yjq will need to drop out of relativistic space and complete the remaining leg in realspace.”

“How does this immediately impact the human population?” Grey asked first, hardly letting Miys finish their statement.

“With the sensors operational, there should be no noticeable difference in the transition,” came the answer. “However, there will be the introduction of potential physical hazards once we are in realspace.”

After a pause of silence, Xiomara spoke up. “Are you talking about the potential of being attacked?”

“Galactic law prohibits acts of violence against aide or rescue vessels.”

I heard an explosive snort before an extremely dry voice joined in. “Miys, that is the opposite of an answer,” Evania argued. “And we all know that criminals are famous for their adherence to the letter of the law.”

An alert chirped on my data band, and I almost choked when I saw Arthur’s message: “Oh, I LIKE her…”

“Once we are no longer in relativistic space, the Yjq is due to rendezvous with an Ekomari escort within thirty Terran days.”

“And what is the tactical benefit of that escort?” Evan pushed.

Rather than Miys, Charly responded. “Ekomari are very aggressive, but even more bound by a code of honor. They view preying on the weak - including rescue and aide vessels - the most disgusting behavior imaginable. This extends to the point of stopping their own attacks once the enemy is considered defeated.”

“Only an extremely overconfident or suicidal crew would try to go up against an Ekomari squadron that is escorting us,” Arthur finished.

“That is satisfactory. No objections.”

Approval in her tone, Xiomara launched the next question. “What about the thirty days we won’t have an escort? What is normally done on that leg of the journey?”

“Optimally, there is no such period during such a relocation.” I heard every person in my office inhale with dread at that statement. “During this time, there is always an increased concern that pirates and scavengers will attack in an attempt to be the first beings with artifacts from the newly present species.”

“Souvenirs… They want us for souvenirs…” Tyche muttered.

“We will discuss our options once we have all the information,” I stated loudly, trying to keep the meeting going before everyone panicked. “Miys, what other information do we need to know about the final year of the journey?”

“Once we are in realspace, long distance scans and data mining operations will begin for more accurate information regarding Von. This information will be communicated to the entire Council so that any changes or updates to colony plans may be adjusted and finalized. That is all for now.”

“Thank you Miys. You may remain in the meeting, as we may need your input regarding Galactic regulations, statistics, or laws.”

“Of course, Wisdom.”

I nodded and took a deep breath. “Xiomara, I’m pretty sure that you and Evan have a lot to say on the matter at hand. Are there any objections to Health and Safety taking the floor?”

After a round of negatives, I conceded the floor. “Thank you, Sophia. Council, clearly there is a pressing matter in our future, here at the end of a tumultuous era, just as our goal is in sight. We cannot allow thirty days of risk to derail us now. For all that we have striven to show humanity as capable of peace and change, we now need to reach down to the roots of our very existence and ensure that we will not be undefended in that month.”

“Miys, the Ark is equipped with scouting probes and evacuation shuttles,” Evan followed. “What are the chances that we can repurpose those into our own small squadron for defensive purposes.”

“Doing such would invalidate the protection the Yjq is afforded by Galactic Law.”

“Excuse me, what!?” I sputtered, completely caught off guard.

“Hospital ships are only protected so long as they are incapable of defense, to prevent opposing forces from attacking each other under the guise of aide,” Charly explained in a mournful tone.

Evan and I groaned heavily. “At least tell me that the odds of any attackers completely blowing up the ship are low?”

“They would only be able to do so by detonating our drives from the inside. To do so from the exterior would require more force than a coronal ejection from a white dwarf star.”

That was reassuring at least.

“So we would be safe as long as they don’t board the ship,” Arthur acknowledged. I could see where his next question was going, but Evan beat him to it by a mile.

“Since we are not Hujylsogox, and are only the cargo of the Ark, there are no prohibitions against us defending ourselves in the event of a forced boarding, correct? Only you, yourself, would not be able to fight back.”

“This is correct, Commander Josue. I am not allowed to interfere in such a matter.”

Interesting wording. Noah was telling us, as officially as allowed, that it would not fight the intruders, but also would not stop us from any actions we took. I smiled as I felt a confirming nudge in the back of my mind.

“Well, those weapons demonstrations were certainly not just for fun,” Huynh growled. I could hear Charly cackling in the background before he confirmed to her that, yes, she can play with the construction exos.

“Let’s be organized about this,” Xiomara insisted. “For those comfortable with helping defend, we need to set up anti-boarding drills to start six months out at the latest. For those on the ship who are against violence, sort them into who can provide medical aid and who needs to do evacuation drills. Eino, Arthur - can you assist Sophia’s team with that?”

“We can,” Eino confirmed, echoed by Arthur.

Parvati and Hannah glanced at each other silently before the former jumped in. “I recommend that at least one person with weapons training is assigned to each evacuation group, as a worst case defense.”

“I second that,” Xiomara agreed in a clipped tone. “Any objections?” A brief, silent pause. “Good. Add that to the strategy.”

“Miys, we need a list of what species are most likely to be found on pirate vessels. Knowing their biology will go a long way to developing defense strategies,” Arthur requested.

“I like it,” Evan approved. “Ekomari may be honorable, but humanity has survived this long because we aren’t ashamed of taking cheap shots.”

“It is safe to assume that boarding parties will not have electromagnetic vision, as it has been advised that it is quite rare in the galaxy,” Grey pointed out. “We can use this to our advantage, most likely.”

“If we’re lucky to be in the light part of the cycle…” Tyche muttered.

“Administrator Reid has a point,” Pranav admitted, startling her. “If we are in the dark part of the cycle, we will be at a distinct disadvantage.”

“The lights are artificial,” Huynh sighed. “We can turn them on.”

“If I may interject,” Miys responded. “It is not as simple as you seem to believe to increase the light emitters on the entire Ark, Councilor Huynh. The drain on the ship engines could permanently damage them.”

I could feel Charly’s eyes rolling in my soul when she picked up from there. “We can try to make some plans for that contingency. Pranav does have a point.”

“So that’s anti-boarding drills, evacuation drills, aid teams, threat assessment, and at least a start on evaluating where we stand from a defensive perspective. Once Sophia, Eino, and their offices coordinate who is which group, we’ll pull back up to determine who will be leading which initiatives,” Xiomara recapped. “Sophia, anything else we need to cover?”

“I think that’s the priorities right now,” I confirmed, effectively ending the meeting. Once I closed out the channel, I turned to those in my office. “So, how do we feel about this?”

“Like you are going to be in one of the evacuation groups, stuffed as far back in the ship as possible,” Tyche stated drily.

“If we get boarded,” I pointed out. “It may not happen.”

“Madam Reid, you are on this ship.”

I scowled at Alistair before turning to Parvati and Hannah. “Reach out to Arthur and Eino to schedule that meeting.”

Hannah looked unsure. “Why are they being loaned to us for this? Eino’s a Councillor.”

The door of my office hissed open and the rhythmic thud of boots walked in. “Because your office, specifically Tyche, handles all ship staffing, while I am being used for physical ability assessments, and Eino literally has nothing to do as head of Education in all this.” Arthur nodded his head in thanks when Alistair handed him tea.

I just pointed at him and nodded. “Besides, this way Xiomara is indirectly involved.” I glanced at Parvati before winking. “It was a clever move, I have to admit.”

Parvati smiled and shook her head. “I can’t even say you’re wrong. That’s exactly why she did it, honestly, on all counts.”

“And that is part of it, too.” Tyche waved. “Work more closely with your fellow future Councillors, and you learn to read what they aren’t saying. Our office works very closely with Xio’s and Grey’s, so we have to know how best to keep that going.”

Arthur just held his arms wide and shrugged. “I have to respect Xiomara’s tendency to keep her fingers on all pulses. She’s almost as bad as Sophia that way.”

“Hey!”

“It’s true,” Alistair sighed. “You are profoundly nosy.”

Hannah groaned and threw her head back. “We are never going to be on the Council at this rate.”

“Excuse me?? That’s the point of all this!” I gestured around my office energetically.

“Yes, because you will totally retire,” Hannah said slowly, nodding her head like I was a toddler. “Of course you will, Sophia. We all know it…”

Parvati snickered, covering it badly. Arthur gave me a pointed look, and I could hear him repeating ‘obsessive, compulsive perfectionist’.

I was saved, for certain, weird values of salvation, by Tyche. She just glanced down at her nails, studying them, before calmly glancing at me. “Charly is dangerously close to getting approval from Sebastian for her proposal of kink night at the Undine. Think really hard if you want to be on the Council for that, Sophia. It would be an event, meaning it would come to this office.”

“Yep, retiring soon,” I squeaked. Laughter erupted around me as my face heated up. “I’m all for sex positivity, but I just can’t fathom the logistics of that. Nope. Not gonna be me. Y’all have fun. Enjoy. All yours.”

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#the miys #humans are weird #aliens #apocalypse #post-apocalypse #science fiction #humans are awesom #humans are space orcs #pirates #plot #strategy

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angelsdemonsducks · 4 years

Text

you don't like the ending (we'll find one that's yours)

“Logan,” Virgil says, softly, slowly, “you do know that you’re allowed to be a person, right?”

In the aftermath: Logan, Virgil, and things that have gone unsaid for far too long.

(ao3 link)

When all is said and done, Logan sits in his room for a little while, hands folded neatly in his lap, staring at the ceiling. It’s painted with a star map, charting the cosmos: Ursa Major by Ursa Minor, Perseus reaching for Andromeda, Canis Major ever lapping at Orion’s heels. They glow with a bright, otherworldly light against a black backdrop, and they change as the seasons turn, too, change and wheel overhead as the real night sky does.

Though, of course, the night sky does not actually change. Just the human perspective of it. Stars are ever-constant; it is the Earth that is not, human perception that is flawed.

Roman helped him set it up, years ago. The remembrance lies bitter and heavy on his chest.

He is not hurt. He is not hurt, because he does not feel. There is a pounding in his head that refuses to abate and a stinging in his eyes that blurs his vision, but such physical reactions will stop eventually, if he ignores them for long enough. He is practiced in this, by now. He is not hurt.

He firmly believes that there is nothing that cannot be solved with the application of the scientific method. This past hour is no different. As with all else, it can be analyzed through the lens of conducting an experiment.

He lays out the memories neatly in his mind for review.

Hypothesis: His physical presence and interaction with the other sides is not necessary for Thomas to maintain a healthily logical existence.

There are too many variables for this to be considered a controlled setting. All of the others have so many emotions, and as such, are prone to outbursts and unpredictability that may skew any data collected. He is accustomed to this, after all this time, and has learned to set his expectations accordingly. But there are two variables that can be defined with little difficulty: the independent and dependent variable. The variable that he manipulates, and the variable that changes due to this manipulation.

Independent variable: His presence in the discussion. Keeping in line with the video game theme the others seem to be holding to, he presents himself as an information-dispensing “NPC,” or “non-player character,” as he understands the definition to be, in an effort to be less intrusive in the conversation. Half the time, he does not bother to speak.

Dependent variable: How Thomas, Patton, and Roman react to this method of interaction.

It is difficult to collect data for this variable. There are no numbers to record, nothing that is quantifiable. He has to rely purely on qualitative data, collected based on observation and description. It is discomfiting, how much room for error and misinterpretation that leaves, but he is confident in his ability to be a passive, unbiased researcher. He records what he observes and nothing more.

Data: They seem tentatively interested in the beginning, curious about the novelty of his chosen method, if nothing else. Roman even takes the time to read the text box aloud. But the intrigue soon wanes. He is cut off both literally and figuratively, skipped, dismissed at every turn. When they allow him to speak, it is with begrudging toleration. When he offers silent information, they ignore him. When Deceit takes his place, they do not notice the difference.

His hands clench into fists, ever so briefly. He stares at the ceiling. At the shining stars that Roman helped him to paint so long ago as he grinned and chattered about nothing in particular, paint splattered on his clothes and all across his face. Roman is always so fussy about his appearance that Logan had thought that existing in such a disheveled state would irritate him, but when he pointed it out, Roman laughed, reached out, and swiped his paint-coated thumb across his cheek, loudly proclaiming that now, they matched. And Logan felt so warm, inside and out, despite the fact that he keeps his room at a cool twenty degrees Celsius.

This is a digression. Completely irrelevant to the experiment at hand. He pulls himself back to the pertinent memories.

From the data, results can be extrapolated. It is a simple matter of deciding whether the information gathered supports or refutes the hypothesis. He has collected more than enough observations to make a decision.

Conclusion: All data suggests

His mind stalls. He shakes his head. This should be easy. Data from experimentation, and conclusions from data. That is how the scientific method works.

Conclusion: All data suggests that the hypothesis is correct, and that his presence is neither necessary nor especially welcome amongst the others. His duty can be safely performed from a distance. Further experimentation will be needed to determine the best way in which to do so.

His eyes trace the patterns of the constellations, steadfast and sure, and he thinks about his failures. Thinks about how he attempted to be as unobtrusive as possible, how he ensured that if his input was unwanted, the others would be able to ignore him, to block him out. He gave them the option, so even if he were capable of feeling upset, he should not be. He should not care that they do not care, that they listen to him when it is convenient for them and discard him when it is not.

He doesn’t care. It was simply part of the experiment. It is simply one more hypothesis confirmed. Never mind that he was not actually attempting to conduct an experiment at the time. Approaching this issue in this manner imposes order on disordered, messy thoughts, forces him to think objectively.

Logan sits in his room, and he breathes.

Then, there is a knock at his door, rushed and urgent. He frowns. After how that disaster ended, he would have thought that Patton would be with Roman. And… he’s almost sure it wouldn’t be Deceit-- or should he be calling him by his name now? He is unsure; he was not present for the admission, which may imply a lack of permission, but Deceit confessed in front of Thomas, which may in fact imply blanket permission for all the occupants of his mindscape.

A dilemma to ponder later, perhaps. He stands, rolling his shoulders back, and crosses his room to the door. He opens it, and it’s not Patton, and it’s certainly not Deceit.

It’s Virgil.

He’s pale and hunched over, shoulders set defensively. His eyes are red, as if he’s been crying, and Logan opens his mouth to query as to whether there is something he can help him with. He did think it odd, that Virgil chose not to involve himself in the discussion at all, though clearly he has been affected by it to some degree. Of course, Patton is really the one to go to with issues of the emotional kind, but perhaps he tried and found Patton to be busy with Roman. Logan is a poor substitute, but if Virgil desires his help, then he will try his best.

“Virgil,” he says. “Is there something I can do for you?”

For a long moment, Virgil stares at him. Stares, and says nothing.

“Can I come in?” he asks at last.

Logan furrows his brow, but stands aside so that he is no longer blocking the door. “Of course,” he says, and Virgil slips past him and into his room. After a moment of hesitation, he closes the door behind him and turns to face Virgil, who stands in the center of the room, looking up at the ceiling. He looks small, somehow, and lost.

“How are you?” Logan tries. “I understand that there were some topics raised in that discussion that may have left you uncomfortable, assuming that you were listening to it, and I can’t imagine that you were particularly pleased with all aspects of the outcome. Is there anything that you would like to talk about?”

Virgil stares at the ceiling for a moment longer, and then looks to Logan. Logan is taken aback by the expression of devastation that flickers across his face, the sorrow in his eyes and downturned corners of his mouth.

He is expecting him to say something about Roman’s outburst, or about the perils of trusting Deceit as Thomas seems ready to do, but what comes out of his mouth instead is,

“Can I, um, hug you?”

Logan blinks. Plays back the memory in his mind to ascertain that no, he did not mishear. And then, uncertainly, he spreads his arms.

Virgil does not often ask for physical affection, though he is less shy about it now than he once was.

“Yes, certainly,” he says, “though, you know that Patton is--”

He is cut off by Virgil all but launching himself into his arms; all the breath escapes his lungs in a single gust. Virgil’s arms snake around his back, holding him tightly, and he buries his face in his shoulder. For a moment, Logan is completely at a loss; he does not seek out hugs because he does not need them, and typically, nobody asks him for one. In fact, he can’t quite recall the last time that he had such extended physical contact with someone.

It takes a few seconds for him to react, to bring his arms up to encircle Virgil in turn.

“I don’t want Patton,” Virgil mumbles into Logan’s shirt. “I want you.”

“I--” Logan blinks a few times, rapidly, in succession. Because surely, that does not make any sense. Patton is, objectively, the best at hugging out of all of them-- though, actually, now that he considers it, should Deceit be considered for the position, by virtue of having three pairs of arms? Would that make for a more efficient hug, if there were more arms to perform the action? How would one go about measuring such a thing?

Regardless, Patton is certainly the most practiced at giving comfort, and as the center of Thomas’ emotions, it can be assumed that he has the best mindset for it. Why, then, would Virgil claim to seek him for comfort rather than Patton?

“I’m not sure that I understand,” he admits softly, and Virgil pulls back a bit, enough so that they are face to face, though he doesn’t let go entirely. His hands are gripping Logan’s shirt so tightly that they are sure to leave wrinkles.

“I care about you,” Virgil says fiercely. “I care about you so goddamn much. And I want to spend time with you. I never, ever want you to spare me your company, or whatever the fuck that was all about in there.”

He feels a sudden, deep urge to adjust his glasses, to fiddle with his tie, to do something to place distance between himself and Virgil. But somehow, he can’t bring himself to let go of his grip on Virgil’s back. “I… see,” he says, a bit helplessly, even though he does not see, at all. “Is this about what I said to the others? That wasn’t--”

“That wasn’t what?” Virgil interrupts. “That wasn’t what you meant? Just because I wasn’t participating doesn't mean I wan’t listening. It was pretty obvious that you did mean it, Logan.”

Logan frowns. He is growing tired of being interrupted today. Logically, there is no difference between when the others did it and when Virgil does it, except for the fact that he is physically interacting with Virgil, so there is no reason for his sudden... exhaustion. That’s all it is. Exhaustion.

He’s not sure why he expected Virgil to let him finish his sentence.

“I was going to say that it wasn’t important,” he corrects. “I--”

“No,” Virgil cuts in again, and he must react visibly, because Virgil grimaces apologetically. “I’m sorry for talking over you,” he adds, voice a bit softer. “But I kinda don’t think you’re going to let me say what I need to say if I don’t, because you’re wrong, Logan. You are so, so important.”

“I was not attempting to imply otherwise,” Logan replies. “I never said that I wasn’t important. I am very aware that I am important. With an absence of Logic, Thomas’ life would surely devolve into chaos. I am well aware that my fulfillment of my duties is necessary for Thomas to live healthily and successfully.”

For some reason, this only seems to upset Virgil more. “No,” he repeats, frustrated. “I’m not talking about Logic. I’m talking about you, Logan, as a person. You are important.”

Is… he speaking circularly on purpose? What exactly is he trying to say? Usually, he finds Virgil to be refreshingly clear when compared to the other sides, so this interaction so far has been oddly frustrating.

“I’m not certain I understand what you’re attempting to convey.” He pauses. “What is the difference between me and Logic? I am Logic.”

“You’re Logic,” Virgil says, “but you’re Logan, too, and, and I just wanted to make sure that you were okay, because they kept talking over you and shutting you up and you didn’t even go and argue with them in person and then you said that, and I got--” He pauses-- “scared.”

Logan believes in the pursuit of knowledge, in enlightenment over ignorance. But somehow, some part of him dreads asking what Virgil means.

“Scared of what?”

For a moment, Virgil is silent, and something like panic flickers on his face. Then, he closes his eyes and breathes. Logan recognizes the pattern: in for four seconds, hold for seven, out for eight.

“I’m scared that you don’t know how much we love you,” Virgil says, opening his eyes. His voice is quiet and nervous and vulnerable. “How much I love you.”

For a moment, all he can register is Virgil’s arms around him: their weight, their warmth. That, and the silence in his room.

Evidence shows that stars produce sounds, though not any that fall within the human range of hearing. The stars on his ceiling, however, are utterly mute.

“I don’t understand,” he says weakly. “I--”

“Logan--”

But no, he has had enough of being overridden. There is only so much he can take before something has to give, and he reached that limit over an hour ago, about when Roman slashed through his contribution like it meant nothing, when Patton pressed skip as if he meant nothing, when Deceit yanked him out of frame and replaced him, and he didn’t bother to put up a fight because no one was listening to him and if he couldn't accomplish anything by speaking, maybe he could by shutting up since that seemed to be what everyone wanted anyway--

And now Virgil is here, saying what? It doesn’t follow, logically, and if there is anything which Logan cannot abide, it is faulty logic.

“No,” he says, and Virgil, mercifully, allows him to talk. “No, that doesn’t make sense. If there is anything that has become glaringly apparent recently, it is that none of you want or care for my presence. No, I’m not done,” he adds, cutting off Virgil’s protest before it can begin. “I am not upset about it. I do not get upset. But logically speaking, the fact that I cannot impart even the most basic of facts before I am interrupted or overruled points to the conclusion that none of you particularly care about what I have to say. Which is, and I will reiterate this point, fine, as I do not need any of you to like me in order to perform my function adequately.”

Virgil stares at him, and then steps back, releasing Logan entirely.

“Oh my god,” he says. “That’s not fine.”

Logan sighs.

“Didn’t I just say that it is?” he asks. “There’s no need for you to be experiencing emotional distress over this matter, Virgil.”

“You just told me that you think none of us care about you, and you think I’m not going to experience some fucking emotional distress?” Virgil stops suddenly, shaking his head. “Wait, no, this isn’t about me. Logan, we’ve been treating you like shit. You’re… you can be upset about it. You know that, right? Because it’s not fine, it is so far past fine that we are in, like, Canada or some shit, and you don’t have to act like it’s fine.”

“I am not ‘acting like it’s fine,’” he says. “It is fine, and I’m not upset. I do not get upset. I’ve told you this. I don’t understand--”

“You do get upset, Logan, you are literally getting upset right now, and that’s okay, you can be upset, you have every right to be upset--”

It’s one interruption too many.

“I am not upset!”

The shout hangs in the air long after the words have left his lips. His chest is heaving, he notes dimly, and his hands are clenched. His ears are ringing, too, and his head pounds.

Oh.

Oh, no. He can’t do this. He can’t do this, and he especially can’t do this now, with Virgil in the room, because he is not supposed to be like this. He has tried so hard not to be like this, has tried so hard to be the cool, rational embodiment of logic that he is supposed to be, but somehow, he continually fails. But it is impossible to reverse time, impossible to erase the outburst now that it has been vocalized, so he stands there, shaking slightly, finding it harder and harder to meet Virgil’s eyes.

“I am not supposed to get upset,” he says eventually, to end the silence more than anything else. “I… apologize. That was unseemly of me.”

“Logan,” Virgil says, softly, slowly, “you do know that you’re allowed to be a person, right?”

He blanks.

“We’re not people,” he says weakly. “We are facets of the personality of a person. My job is to be logical. I’m just trying to do my job.”

Virgil closes his eyes and breathes in his pattern again. Then, he opens them and steps closer. He reaches for Logan’s hands, taking both of them in his own and worrying at the fingers until they begin to relax. Logan stares at them, at his hands in Virgil’s, at Virgil sweeping his thumb across his knuckles slowly and methodically.

“Then let’s look at it logically,” Virgil says. He speaks in that same low tone of voice. It reminds Logan of a nature documentary, one where the narrator uses a soothing, gentle cadence so as not to scare the animals. “Alright?”

Logan nods. He doesn’t trust himself to speak.

“If we’re all just supposed to do our jobs,” Virgil says, “our jobs and absolutely nothing else, then I would be anxious all the time, right? I mean, I already am, mostly, but that would mean that I would only be able to feel anxious. No positive emotions, no happiness. Everything that’s been so good about the past few years, with you guys, I wouldn’t be able to have that. Do you think that’s how it should be?”

His voice remains gentle, but for their impact, he may as well be shouting.

“Of course not!” Logan says. The very idea is incredibly displeasing. “But that’s different.”

“Okay, how is it different?”

“Your ability to feel positive emotions does not hamper your ability to perform your basic function. You can be both happy and anxious, at the same time or at different times. The two are not mutually exclusive.” He shakes his head. “I need to be logical, to be rational, and that is everything that emotions are not. If I allow myself to feel, then I allow my judgement to be clouded, and Thomas cannot afford to have a Logic with clouded judgement.”

Virgil frowns. “But that’s just it,” he says. “You have emotions. You’re not stopping yourself from having emotions. No one can do that. You’re just refusing to acknowledge that you have them. Doesn’t that kind of repression cloud your judgement more?”

His mouth goes very dry. He feels as though his heart has stopped, which is ridiculous, because he knows full well that his heart is functioning properly. It seems to be the rest of him that has stopped working. Drawing breath is becoming increasingly difficult, for some reason, which is frustrating because there is absolutely nothing physically wrong with him and thus, no reason for this reaction.

Virgil… has to be wrong. He’s not repressing anything. One cannot repress something that one does not possess. But then, the point of repression is to make oneself believe that one does not possess something, or that one has not done something, so if one is skilled enough at repression, one might not know that they are in the act of repressing. Which would make one an unreliable narrator, which is a disturbing concept to contemplate, because if one cannot rely on one’s own perception of reality, then what can one trust?

Human perception is so, so flawed. He cannot afford flawed perception.

“I’m not repressing anything,” he says. His voice is a reedy whisper even to his own ears. He can’t imagine he sounds very convincing. “That’s what Patton does.”

Virgil quirks a brow. “Yeah, Teach, I don’t think that’s a, uh. What did you say? Mutually exclusive? I don’t think that’s a mutually exclusive thing. Patton doesn’t have a monopoly on repression.”

“But I’m Logic,” he insists. “There’s nothing there to repress.”

Virgil pauses, and for a moment, Logan thinks that he is about to concede the argument. For some reason, it feels like a hollow victory.

But then, Virgil draws him into another hug. He leans into it, unresisting, but his arms won’t move to return it.

“You’re Logan,” Virgil says softly. “You’re not just Logic, and you’re not a robot. You’ve gotta let yourself be human, buddy.”

“I’m not-- I can’t--” His voice catches, breaks, and he realizes with a rising horror that he has begun to cry. He has begun to cry, and it’s humiliating, because he doesn’t know why, because he’s not sad, not at all, because he doesn’t--

He doesn’t--

He doesn’t feel--

Oh.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, god.

He’s such a failure.

“No, no, shh, you’re not a failure,” Virgil says, and that’s just another figurative nail in the figurative coffin, isn’t it, that he’s speaking aloud without even realizing that he’s doing it. “You are the furthest thing from a failure that I know. You’re so good, Logan. Feeling things isn’t a failure. You have to let yourself feel.”

“I don’t know how,” Logan says, broken, almost gasping. He doesn’t want to be saying these things. He feels like he’s losing control, and he’s so terrified. “I’ve never known how. I have to be taken seriously, Virgil, I can’t afford not to be taken seriously--”

There. The admission is out there, out in the world, out in this world that is just the two of them, just him and Virgil locked in an embrace, just him and Virgil as his tears leak onto the fabric of Virgil’s hoodie. Once spoken, they cannot be unspoken, and Logan feels--

He feels--

Oh, how he feels, and how wrong it is--

“I promise, that’s not going to happen,” Virgil says. “You’re allowed to have emotions. No one will think any less of you.”

Is this what devastation is? Is this what a tsunami feels like as it sweeps across the land, washing civilization away? His chest is tight and hot and his eyes are burning and his ears are ringing, and he’s felt this way all along but he’s refused to acknowledge that it was happening because he is Logic and Logic is not feelings, is not listened to even when he’s not displaying unbecoming emotions, so how can he possibly think that letting himself feel would be a good idea?

He doesn’t want to feel like this.

He’s felt like this for so long.

“You already think less of me!” he says. “You, you all, you never listen to what I say, you always tell me to shut up or you ignore me or I can tell that I irritate you even when I’m specifically trying not to be irritating and I don’t know what to do because nothing I try ever works.”

Virgil makes a wounded noise deep in the back of his throat, and his grip on Logan tightens.

“We owe you so many apologies,” he says. “I am so, so sorry, Logan. I am so sorry that we made you feel like we didn’t care. I am so sorry that we haven’t been listening. I am so fucking sorry that we made you feel like you needed to not have emotions just to be heard. I am so sorry.”

And Logan lets go. His breath hitches and chokes on a sob, and he doesn’t hold it back, doesn’t swallow it down and try to forget the urge was ever there in the first place.

He buries his face in Virgil’s shoulder and lets himself cry.

“I’m trying,” he gasps between sobs, “I’m trying so hard but I can’t--”

“I know,” Virgil says. “I know. You’re doing so good. I know we’ve all been shit at showing it, but we love you, Logan, really, and we’re here for you. We’re gonna do better, I swear.”

In this moment, Logan allows himself to believe that Virgil cares. He believes in what his senses can absorb, and the evidence is undeniable; it is in Virgil’s arms around him, holding him safe, in Virgil’s low, emphatic words and the way he sounds as if he, too, is near tears, as if Logan is someone worth crying over.

It occurs to him, then, that Virgil did not come here seeking comfort. He came here to offer comfort to him. All he has to do is accept it. And he shouldn’t need it, shouldn’t want it, because he is Logic and Logic does not need comforting or reassurance, but he’s far past that point already, is already weeping into Virgil’s shoulder, so perhaps it is too late to go back. The thought frightens him.

He doesn’t know how to feel. Has never known how to feel, has always thought that it would be better for himself and everyone, better for Thomas if he just. Didn’t. But Virgil says that he can, and though Virgil can be wrong, he despises deception. Virgil wouldn’t lie to him.

Perhaps this can be a start.

His arms come up, and he hugs Virgil back. Presses up close to him and revels in the warmth even as he cries.

“The others,” he says, “they don’t, they don’t like me and they don’t listen--”

“We’ll talk to them,” Virgil says. “You and me, once you’re feeling better, okay? We’ll make this right. Your feelings are valid and your contributions are important, and we’re gonna remind them about that.” His grip tightens, and when he speaks again, it’s in a whisper, as if to himself. “You’re not alone. I know how shitty it feels to think you are, but you’re not. And you’re not ever going to be.”

And Logan, shivering and shaking in Virgil’s arms, tears still crawling down his cheeks, looks up at the ceiling. At the stars, bright and constant, like a promise.

“Okay,” he whispers, and he decides to believe, if only this one more time.

Hypothesis: They care. And I am allowed to care, too.

Conclusion: Pending.

#sanders sides #ts sides #logan sanders #ts logan #virgil sanders #ts virgil #analogical #ts spoilers #sanders sides spoilers #i really hope the read more works #i'm so sorry if you had to scroll past the whole #long post #i don't post here much #but i just had a lot of feelings

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genderhoax · 3 years

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I used to want to be an artist but then i stopped drawing for like 7 years. I want to go back but i'm scared and dont know where to start. So yes, i am interested in those drawing videos can you post them if you dont mind? ^_^

Of course!! I am in the same situation as you actually. I used to draw a lot in middle school (2010-2012) but my depression worsened during high school and in college, I’d only draw as a distraction, never seeking to study or improve. I decided to get back this year, since I decided drawing was the only thing I could see myself doing professionally. I felt very lost, because how do you get back? How do you know what’s your actual, current, art skill? What are your weaknesses? Your strong points?

That’s how I learned to study the fundmentals of art. Because visual art is not a skill. It is a set of skills, if you are very good at anatomy but not really when coming to painting your art is going to look differently than someone who learned anatomy in how to draw manga books but paint like a pro. I am going to divide this post in categories, Also, all the videos I link I also recommend all the channels they are from! My favorites are The Drawing Database, Sycra and Ganev, Sycra and The Drawing Databse have a little of everything and are great at explaining. Ganev is a bit sarcastic but I like the way he teaches. I took some parts of the text of this post from here.

How do I begin? How do you even get back at art? What tips should you use? These are general tips videos, usually nice to draw along. /the fundmentals and how to get started/ /5 tips for better drawing/ /perfect pratice/ /beginner’s guide/ /5 tips for digital art/ /10 tips to improve/ /why your drawings are stiff/ /what level is your art/ /improve your art fast/ /drawing basics/ /how to hold and control your pencil/ /intuitive drawing method/ /iterative drawing/

The Fundamentals: Proportion & Placement Proportion is relationship between one element and another. In the visual arts proportion relates most importantly to the abstract quality of scale and placement. You know how stereotypically an artists puts a pencil to their eye when looking at an object? They’re mesuring the proportion of the object in question and how to represent it corectly in the drawing. /principles of proportion/ /ways to create illusion of space/ /drawing the human figure/ /how to draw proportions playlist/ /how to use proportion in character design/ /basic anatomy and proportions part one/ /part two/ /part three/ /part four/ /proportion basics/

Form & Construction The idea of form is how we see the 3D objects in or world and transform them into 2D in the paper/canvas. It’s understading that eveyrthing is made up of basic forms. /dynamic sketching part one/ /part two/ /how to draw forms/ /structure/ /building form/ /another how to draw forms/ /how to visualize 3D forms/ /form study process/

Perspective & Depth Perspective is knowing that as things move away from the viewer’s eye, things seem to get smaller. Get familiarized with terms like horizon line and vanishing point. This is the basic that must be understood to learn perspective. Here’s a good article about this. /an intro video on the subject/ /step by step tutorial/ /perspective basics part one/ /part two/ /part three/ /part four/ part five /part six/ /another basics video/ /20 perspective lessons/ /eye level tip/ /linear perspective/ /simple form perspective/ /drawing the figure in perspective/

Anatomy Anatomy is something I think it’s one the most crucials things to learn in order to make your drawing look good. Once you understand how joints work you’ll be able to see how bones and muscles move. And this goes for anything with a skeleton. It’s one of those things of you learn the rules before breaking them. I am linking different playlists, since linking different videos on various parts of anatomy would take forever. Just study a body part at time: head, eyes, nose, lips, ears, shoulders, neck, hairline, breats, torso, hands, feet etc. /how to do an anatomy tracing/ /playlist 1 / /draw the head from any angle/ /anatomy for artists/ /draw facial features/ /how to draw and paint/ /playlist 2/ /draw 3/4 head with loomis method/ /playlist 3/ /drawing a head in 3 hours (this one is great to draw along with the artist)/ /how to draw a body/ draw a head with loomis method part 1/ /part 2/ /part 3/ /decipgering bridgman’s anatomy/ /anatomy quick tips/

Gesture Gesture drawing is a method of capturing figures in exaggerated poses, usually drawn quickly. It is important to undersand that the goal of all gesture is to study the figure and see how it moves. I like looking at poses and copying them. Here’s a good article. /how to draw gesture/ /how to draw any pose/ /draw interesting poses/ /a guide on gesture drawing/ /tips for expressive dynamic poses/ /figure drawing tips/

Composition The overall layout of a piece is very important. Artists often consider things like the rule of thirds or the infamous golden ratio. Neither truly defines a composition, but they can both go into your decision making. /composition in art/ /understanding composition/ /10 composition tips/ /beginner’s guide to composition/ /art fundamental: composition/

Value Studying value is very much the study of light and shadow. But there is a technical side of light that you’ll want to pay attention to if you’re going for technical rendering. /guide on rendering/ /seeing light and shadows in daily life/ /10 minutes to a better painting/ /understaing colors and values/ /shading basics/ /ambient occlusion/ /shadow colors/ /tips on how to shade/ /draw shadows on objects and people/ /lighting tutorial/

Color Theory Color theory is understanding which colors go good with eachother, and knowing the pyschology behind it. (what are cool colors? what colors make someone feel comfortable?) It is fundamental in art for you to understand the relationship between colors and what makes them look good. Best color theory books. A comprehensive guide to color theory. /hue value saturation in photoshop/ /color theory for noobs/ /understanding color/ /what you should know about colors/ /warm and cool colors/ /the basic elements/ /choose colors that work/

Traditional Media If you draw in traditional media, all videos above can be used easily. These are just videos for general tips in traditional media, there isn’t many since my focus is digtal ^^’ /watercolor tips/ /draw with colored pencils/ /blending colored pencils/ /4 how to draw lessons/ /Block in colors/ /holding the brush/ /

Digital Media Digital art is how everyone’s been doing art these days. It doesn’t matter if you’re doing with your phone or your computer. I don’t do art on my phone, I know the most used app is mediabang for android and procreate for apple, and I think anyone who is able to do art with their finger is very skilled. If you are like me and prefer doing art on your computer, you probably have your tablet. If not, well you should have. Not having a tablet is not an option if you want to get better at art ^^’ Best tablet for beginners in 2020. Or you can just buy an old used one, if it still works, and you are a beginner, a small intuos is all you need. When talking about softwares, the three big ones I see people using are: Photoshop, Clip Paint Studio and Paint Tool Sai. The best one is CPS, but I find Sai easier to navigate, but CPS is extremely complete and I hope to be able to master it someday. CPS Tutorials. I don’t have much to say about photoshop, people use it mostly because they’ve been using it forever lol I divide my digital painting process in steps: Sketch/Lineart/Color Blocking/Shading/Blending/Color correction. Sketch is the basics, draw your idea. Lineart is to clean your sketch. Color Blocking is to color your drawing one color, so it’s easier to work in it. Shading is to understand where the lighting sources are coming from and apply them. Blending is to blend the colors of your drawing with brushes. Color correction is when I use filters of hue/saturation and others to make the drawing more appealing. These require understadings of the software of your choice which I am not very good at the moment so I can’t give you more tips than that ^^’ Hopefully these videos can help. /perspective grid/ /clean line art/ /coloring process/ /make lineart interesting/ /best brushes for digital painting/ /skin shading tutorial/ /lineart vs painting/ /art in clip studio paint/ /hair tutorial/ /3 tips for improving/ /10 digital art mistakes/ /color block tutorial/ /shading skin/ /from lineart to painting/ /cleaner lineart/ /add texture to your art/ /improve your art with better shadows/ /the importance of brushes/ /use layer modes/ /improve your lines/ /how to blend colors/ /another blending tutorial/ /color blocking/

Exercises It’s no secret that to improve on art, you must pratice. Everyday, even if it’s just a little! A great way to pratice is make use of youtube picture in picture function to draw along in your software of choice. /pratice drawing forms/ /proportion exercises/ /perspective exercises/ /value studies/ /creative drawing exercises/ /simple drawing esercises/

Resources Senshi stocks, a deviantart page full of poses photos. Quick poses, pictures of models, contains nudes. Character design references DesignDoll, create a personalized sketch doll and make it pose.

Phew!!! This took forever to make and is way more than you asked for, but I decided to go all in so I can have a masterpost for me too and for anyone else interested in art. As soon you can understand the fundamentals, you can do your own research and study, youtube is really great for this. I hope this helps, let’s get better at drawing together!!! Ganbarimashou (ง •̀_•́)ง

#anon #askbox #I feel there's a lot more to add but I'm tired I've been working on this sicne yesterday ^^'#Like there's more softwares and resources I could link you I know of that #So when I think of something else I may add to this psot #post #if you feel overwhelmed because this is a lot of info you can start with the beginner section of this psot #and sycra's channel

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microsuedemouse · 3 years

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last night I had an Absolute Stranger pop up in my notes to be totally hostile out of nowhere about my interpretations of some fictional characters. I took the initiative to block them because they were engaging in bad faith and clearly had no interest in discussing the subject. now they don't have to see my content anymore and everyone wins! but I've been thinking about it ever since, and I wanted to share some thoughts here, with those of you who are reasonable and not just trying to start arguments with people you've never interacted with before. I know that at times I've collected large numbers of young, passionate followers, so I think this is a discussion worth having with anyone who's willing to converse in good faith!

one of the most fundamental truths of how human beings interact with fiction is that every single member of the audience is going to have a different take on the story. if you ask me, this is also one of the most beautiful and interesting things about engaging with other fans of something. everyone is bringing something different to the table when they sit down to read, watch, listen, play, or otherwise take in the tale. everyone is going to have their own context through which to understand the characters and events in the story. when you're dealing with literally anything that isn't expressly stated by the storytelling, you're dealing with interpretation, and there is never only one correct way to interpret a story or character. this just isn't how fiction works.

let me give you a good, clear example of what I mean. several years ago, in one of my university classes, I read Karen Russell's short story St. Lucy's Home for Girls Raised by Wolves. the story is about a group of girls - maybe werewolves, maybe only feral children; it's left somewhat ambiguous - who are taken from their wolf families and re-educated by nuns to be proper young ladies. they're made to sit up straight and cut their wild hair and speak only in human languages, giving up the howling and growling they've used all their lives. it's difficult and unnatural for them. when my prof asked us what the story reminded us of, I was the one who brought up residential schools, and it seemed that a lot of my classmates agreed with me: the similarities were striking, even if Russell hadn't had that in mind. but an autistic classmate of mine had a different comparison to make - to her, the story was uncomfortably reminiscent of the treatment received by many autistic children, being forced to give up everything that comes naturally to them and conform to other people's expectations of their behaviour. both of these reads were completely legitimate.

you don't have to have an english or literature degree to understand this concept. think back to your early experiences writing essays in school, based on a book you'd been assigned to read. think about your teachers telling you: make a point, and then use evidence to convince me. this is one of the most basic ways that we engage with fiction on an academic level. and when it comes to fandom, we don't even have to go that far! while many fans love to put a lot of thought into their interpretations, headcanons, fanfics, meta, and other fanworks, many don't. there are a lot of reasons for this, from wanting to see yourself reflected in the characters you love to simply having fun shaking things up. you don't have to justify your interpretations (or your reinterpretations). you're allowed to play in the sandbox just because it's a good time.

a lot of us, when we really love a story or character, get incredibly passionate about our interpretations. that's normal and understandable. and so, naturally, we're also going to find people whose interpretations fly in the face of our own. but people who disagree with you are not inherently wrong. people are incredibly complex, which means two things: one, real people are going to have all kinds of complex factors affecting how they read a story, and two, there are virtually infinite ways to interpret fictional people when the information you're working with is necessarily limited. when they're working from the same baseline information, two people can have two wildly different understandings of a character and neither of them is objectively more correct than the other.

(this intersects a lot with conversations about coding and authorial intent. both of these are their own huge discussions that I'm not going to get into in detail here. both are important in their own ways, but when you cut down to the bone, the basic truth remains that audience interpretations are still going to go in all directions and that's still allowed. even when you're working exclusively with interpretations that aim to be entirely canon-compliant, neither coding nor authorial intent is the same thing as explicit canon. yes, it's still crappy to erase heavy queer-coding [for example] in media where that's the best representation that creators can offer us; that's a matter of social issues intersecting with fiction, which is another huge discussion of its own. but even what qualifies as 'heavy' coding is going to vary from one audience member to the next.)

for me, this incredible variety of interpretation is one of fandom's greatest strengths! I have made friends with people whose character interpretations are incredibly different from mine, or whose favourite ships are the ones I can't stand, or who hated stories I loved. I think trading these ideas, discussing the differences in our readings of the same subject matter, is so interesting. learning how someone reads a character or storyline, and why they read it that way, is always really illuminating for me! discussing our differing interpretations can be such an interesting way to learn about other people's points of view and broaden your own perspective. I so strongly encourage it. embrace the passion you share, rather than starting arguments about things that ultimately don't have much in the way of impact on your real-world existence. for sure, yeah, block the weirdo who romanticises an abusive ship that gives you the creeps. but when you meet someone who headcanons your favourite character to be a completely different sexuality than you do, or who ships your brotp romantically... there's huge potential there for some really engaging conversations.

this isn't a manifesto. the topic of fan interpretation is enormous, and includes so many smaller discussions, and intersects with so many other issues. I'm not claiming to have covered all the bases here. I just really encourage you all to accept that there are no Objectively Correct Opinions - that's not how opinions work! you know that, I know you do! and when you do come across work that's just so far from your interpretation that you can't stand it... just don't engage. scroll on past. block the poster if you want. no one is making you look at fanwork that you don't like. you are not obligated to interact with the people creating that work in any way. please, for the love of god, curate your own fandom experience. someone doodling fanart for a ship that doesn't jibe with you isn't hurting you. you have the power to remove it from in front of your eyes and go find something else you like better. go engage with things that do interest you!! you will be happier for it!!!

#long post #fandom #Courtney thinks

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theonetheycallhannah · 4 years

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The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter Four: E-Stim

Pairing: Captain “Sy” Syverson x OFC (Shane Benton)

Summary: Shane deals with the consequences of her email to her boss, both good and bad. A mortifying situation has an…unexpected outcome. Emotions run high in the fourth chapter of The Tx of Sy! Behind on the action? Catch up HERE!

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Language, some angst and emotions. (Like I literally cried writing part of it) And like, an asshole boss…but if you stick it out with Susan, you won’t be disappointed.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

Tags:

@onlyhenrys

@cavillryarchive

@summersong69

@titty-teetee

@bloodyinspiredfuck

@agniavateira

@oddsnendsfanfics

(you didn’t ask, but i took the liberty! Hope that’s okay!)

@tumblnewby @suavechops

Shane had spent her morning getting ready for work and treating her first patient with a whopping headache…maybe a small glass of wine would have been more responsible of her. But she slept like the dead, which was the goal.

She took a moment before her second patient to check her email…there was a reply from Susan.

Shane, come to my office at your next possible availability.

No "thank you" or "please" or "fuck you very much." just an order. Last she checked, SHE wasn't in the military. Since Heather wasn't in yet, she messaged the secretary on duty, Marsha, to see if she could find a way to make an opening in her morning. She wanted to get this meeting over with.

Sure, Shane. Looks like Cory could take your next patient, if you like. He's seen him before.

Perfect. Please make that change and block me for a meeting with Susan. Thank you so much.

She saw Cory walk by, and warned him. "Cory, I'm having Marsha move Mr. Greenbaum to you next hour. I need to meet with Susan about something." she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, shit. Okay. No problem." Cory knew all too well the fuckery that a Susan meeting could entail.

"I really appreciate it. I owe you big time."

"Nah, Mr. G is cool. We just talk about huntin' and stuff."

"He'll probably like that we switched, then." she laughed. And headed for what felt like the principal's office. Bleak and miserable.

She knocked on the door, and was told in an all too cheerful manner to come in.

"Hey!"

"Morning Susan."

"Close the door and have a seat, Shane."

She typed away for a moment before fully engaging…as was her way. She thought it gave her the power. It really just annoyed the fuck out of everyone.

"So, tell me what's going on with this patient you emailed me about."

"Well, he's an ACL and MCL tear, traumatic, plus a dislocated patella. He did it during a mission in Iraq. Ummm, he's improving a lot. Potter did the surgery. He had him keep the crutches about two weeks longer than we thought he would, but--"

"No I mean…this relationship. What's the deal, here?"

"Oh, there's not much to say about it, really. He's been fairly flirty from pretty early on. I've been able to ignore it, but to be honest, I think he's a really great guy, and I think he deserves better than me ignoring his advances, especially when, to be honest Susan, the feelings he has for me are not unrequited." her heart was racing. More than if Sy had been in the room flirting with her, but so much less pleasant.

"I don't think you should see this guy until the treatment is over. What if it doesn't work out and he doesn't want to come here anymore because of you." That hurt…not that it wasn't rattling around in her head, too.

"Well, Susan, to be honest, that's one reason I haven't spoken up about this already. I have that fear. But he's been very adamant about it lately, and it's been on my mind a lot, and I think I owe it to the both of us to see it through."

"I think I should call this guy. Let me pull him up."

She gave her his details to get his information pulled up in their system. God, this was embarrassing. She should have known this nightmare was coming.

"Hello?" a gravelly bark came across the speakerphone.

"Hello, Mr. Syverson?"

"Captain Syverson, yes, Ma'am." She wasn't expecting him to pull rank…and he did it so politely.

"Sorry, Captain Syverson. My name is Susan DeForrest, I'm the manager here at Fort Wood Therapy Clinic. How are you this morning?"

"This side of the daisies ain't worth complainin. What can I do ya for, ma'am?"

"Well, I have Miss Benton, your therapist here in a meeting. You're on speaker."

"Hey Sy." Shane mewled sheepishly.

"Hey there, Shane." she could hear the smile in his voice. She didn't know if Susan could.

"She's saying that the two of you would like to see each other socially, outside of therapy."

"Oh, that's not quite the words I'd use, ma'am, but I s'pose you're technically correct."

"And she's explained to you that this facility has a policy in place regarding such fraternization?" What a load of bullshit she was shoveling. Making it sound so sinister and clandestine what she and Sy were trying to start up. Like espionage. This woman…

"I'm aware that certain policies exist like that to protect patients or customers, and more frequently the staff from situations that could present problems for both or either parties. I am not aware that a strict policy exists to police your staff in such a stringent manner. In fact, I know the opposite to be true."

"Excuse me?" Susan asked, shell shocked.

"See, them policies o' yours, they're all available online. Public knowledge. Even your personnel ones. Now, y'all have a nice and thorough handbook, I mean, I have been up all night just pouring over this like honey on toast, and I can tell you, I ain't findin' a word about y'all not being allowed to date your patients."

"Well, it's in policy number…"

"Nope, you were gonna say 47, subsection 2, part b. But that just says that you shouldn't treat anyone you're close to (i.e. friend, relative, or significant other) if you can't maintain objectivity or your own comfortability. Now, if I'd make Shane uncomfortable, or if she lost her objectivity over me, I'd be devastated. Shane, do I or do you think I could make you uncomfortable or unobjective?" he was laying it on so thick. If she hadn't been falling for him, this would have done it.

"I don't think so, Sy." She held back a smile…but not well.

"There ya have it. Miss DeForrest, I trust that Shane is free to live her life in the way she sees fit?"

"Well, I still think she should wait…" Susan started, but was cut off again by Sy.

"Because you see, I've seen a lot of young people fail to grow old. A lot of people waitin' to do things…they never ended up doin'. This life…it can be real, real short, Miss DeForrest. And I'm not keen on waitin' to be happy when I could be happy right now. Have I made myself clear enough for you? Or do I need to go to the next link in the chain of command here?" The emotion and resolve in his voice was completely shattering. He wasn't crying. But Shane and Susan both were. And then suddenly, Susan sniffed herself into composure and answered him with dignity.

"No, Captain Syverson. That will not be necessary. Shane…is free, of course, to socialize with whomever she sees fit so long as it doesn't affect anyone's treatment adversely. Thank you for your time, candor, and perspective, sir."

"I'm glad to help Shane. She's helped me more than any therapist I've ever had. We clicked immediately. I knew she was somethin' special. But getting to know her over the last few weeks has shown me what true happiness could feel like…I'd forgotten that over in Iraq. She gave that back to me. I'd like to thank her properly."

"I think she'd like that too. Thank you, sir." Susan hung up the phone without letting them say goodbye to each other, but Shane was an utter mess, and unable to form coherent words right now, anyway.

"Wow." Susan exclaimed.

"Yeah." Shane sniffed into a tissue, dabbing her eyes and then blowing her nose loudly, and unapologetically.

"Did he say he spent the whole night reading our policies?" Susan asked, not sure she heard him right.

"That's what I understood." Shane was somehow not surprised.

"Did you tell him to do that?"

"I didn't even know the policies were online, nor did I know you'd pull him in to our meeting…I didn't even know we were having one until twenty minutes ago."

"Right…fair. Sorry, I'm still…off-put by all of that." She had been beaten…and it wasn't familiar or comfortable.

"So, are we finished here?" Shane inquired, tentative about the state of mind her boss was in.

"Yes, go on and take the rest of the hour for continuing ed or whatever." She was normally much more composed…Sy had really gotten to her. She loved it.

Shane hurried back to her treatment room. She had to call him.

"Hello?" that same gravelly voice now confused as he'd just hung up with her, basically.

"May I speak to the great hero Captain Syverson, please?"

"Sunshine. How ya doin'?"

"Did you really stay up all night last night to read our entire employee manual?"

"I wanted the straight up, true life details about this policy that could mess up my future."

"I think you broke my boss's brain. She was still stewing when I left. She thought I told you where to find all that and what not. I didn't even know you could find it online. Plus, I didn't know we'd be meeting or that she'd drag you into a personnel matter. She's the worst. And you're literally my hero for beating her down like you did."

"Hey, ya know, she started it. I just finished it."

"You sure did. And how!"

"So…since we're all legal now…"

"Is the magic gone since it's not forbidden?" she laughed.

"Oh, I was gonna say, yeah, I think this may be a mistake. Sorry."

They both giggled.

"I'm free after work on Friday." she suggested.

"Not anymore, you're not. Bring some nice clothes and change when you're done. I'll pick you up after. Just text me when you're about ready?"

"You haven't given me your number, Sy."

"It's in my chart, dork."

"You have to officially give it to me."

"Oh I'll give it to ya, baby." He'd dug deep into the bass part of his register for that one.

"Syyyyy." she groaned.

"Oh, you already know I like it when you say my name."

"I'm being serious right now, what's your damn number or the date is off." She bluffed.

"Not because I believe that idle threat, but because I wanna…give it to ya." he rattled off the number.

"Okay, I'll be texting you with mine. Now, I have work today, so if you text me and don't get an immediate response, you know that's why."

"I'm not your only patient? I'm hurt, Shane."

"I know, that's why you've been coming to therapy for weeks."

"Har-Har, good thing I'm not into you for your sense of humor."

"Good thing I'm not into you for your looks, since 80% of your face is obscured by hair."

"We could go all day like this."

"The stamina." she teased.

"Well, look who joined the game!" he sounded almost proud.

"Don't think I haven't been participating silently for…a while."

"How long?" he inquired

"Isn't that my line?" she laughed at the penis joke she'd just made.

"You'll find out soon enough, and you won't be laughing. How long?"

"Well, you remember your evaluation."

"I do."

"Yeah…then." she bleated, too shy to say so with pride.

"No way! You mean you've liked me all this time too! And haven't said shit!?"

"I had to be professional, Sy! I didn't want to! Damn! You've gotta know how much I didn't want to be professional."

"I'll forgive ya, I guess, lil' lady."

"Merciful of you, sir!" she chuckled. "I'll need to go here soon. Won't be long now until my next one gets here."

"Tease me with a 'sir' then cut me off. Cruel."

"You like 'sir,' huh?" she whispered.

"I do. Yes…I…do."

"Noted. Well, until tomorrow."

"Don't forget to text me. I want you to give it to me too." he chuckled.

"Oh, you're bad."

"But, I'm real, real good sunshine." The deep rich promise in his voice did not go unnoticed.

"Bye Sy."

"Later Shane."

She hung up and texted him immediately. A selfie. He replied in kind. He seemed to be home on his couch, Aika by his side…he was not wearing a shirt…well…this day would be eternal.

Up Next: Chapter Five- Sensory Integration 1

#netflix sand castle #sand castle #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x ofc #captain syverson #captain syverson fanfic #captain syverson x ofc

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sons-of-the-morning-star · 3 years

Text

I've put this off long enough

This is Chapter/Episode 2 of Sons of The Morning Star: Habilitation

It is a very nice morning in the Wagner-Thorn-Langdon-Kline-Young house, FROM THE OUTSIDE, AT LEAST.

Inside, emotional tensions are high, with Michael and Lucius having another glare down, Jack struggling to get Dog to let go of a plate, and Damien struggling to get Adam out of his room. It has been less than a week, and the news don't know about the future Senator's new home life.

Yet.

Damien gives another knock on Adam's door, trying his damndest to not lose his mind.

"Adam, come on. We're about to eat breakfast, the food's gonna get cold, and you need to eat. GET. UP."

"I'll eat later," Adam calls from on his bed, though if this was an actual TV show, we'd only see Damien at the door. "Leave me alone."

Damien groans, "Fine." With a twitchy eye, he joins the others for breakfast.

Michael and Lucius avoid each other as best as they can while Jack smiles at Damien, successful at getting his plate back.

"Still no luck with him. He won't come out."

"Let him starve, then," Michael scoffs. "Maybe Crowley and Azriel can come pick him up and adopt him."

"Aziraphale," Jack corrects.

"Whatever."

Jack deflates, but finishes his breakfast and turns to Lucius.

"So anything interesting planned today?"

Lucius writes a message and slides it to Jack. 'Just a couple meetings. Nothing special.'

"Well, you'll always have us to call, if you get bored. And Damien."

Lucius groans as Damien grabs his things.

"Okay, I'm heading out. Michael, Jack, please don't kill each other and make sure Adam eats, got it?"

Both nod, though Jack is more enthusiastic, and Damien turns to Lucius and gives him a one armed hug.

"Have a nice day at work, honey!"

Jack and Michael burst into a fit of laughter as Damien dodges a punch from Lucius and leaves the house.

Lucius leaves soon after, telling the two to keep an eye on Adam and Dog, and to keep the radio on incase they hear anything new.

Michael nods and Jack full on agrees, waving his phone to Lucius and offering again that if he gets bored, he can call.

Lucius leaves and Michael gets up and grabs his coat.

"Where are you going? We're supposed to stay here and keep an ear out for any news."

"Lucius is not our father."

"He is now. And Damien," Jack states matter-of-factly.

"Neither of them are here. And what will you do to stop me from leaving? Flood the continent? Cause a plague? Start a world wide famine?"

When Jack doesn't have answer, Michael smirks and leaves.

If this was a TV episode, the camera would follow and face Michael as he leaves the house and revels in his small victory, and would show that the window to Adam's room is opened, something for astute viewers to notice.

CUT TO LUCIUS!

Lucius is having a time of it as he can barely concentrate, but still tries to listen.

It TOTALLY has to do with the fact he is now a father.

One of his campaigning partners is talking about people's sightings of people with wings and graffiti of pentecosts(THAT'S the evil, devil, Satan symbol, not a pentagram. A pentagram, the avatar/profile pic for this Tumblr, is a wiccan, pagan symbol for protection) on court houses and churches, when his phone rings.

He puts it on silent, and shows himself doing it, but he still gets phone calls.

His 'staff' tell him it's okay, and he opens a FaceTime-esque call from- guess. Just guess.

"Lucius? Is that you? Can you hear me?"

Lucius nods as he fights the growing urge to smash his cellphone on the ground.

"Michael left. He told me not to bother telling you, but I am anyway because he's not listening at all."

"Mr. Wagner, who is that?" One of his campaign advisers asks.

Before Lucius can hang up, Jack shouts out, "Who are you talking to? Are you working? CAN I SEE!?"

More advisers speak up and Lucius cringes as he turns his phone and reveals Jack, who's covered in flour and chocolate and some peanut butter; a surprise for Lucius when he gets home.

"Who are you?"

"Jack Kline," Jack replies. "Lucius adopted me and the rest of our broth-"

Lucius hangs up, turns off his phone, and tosses it on to a near by table with coffee and refreshments on it.

'What were you saying about all the vandalism recently?'

His staff, however, isn't listening, now more eager on the fact that Lucius has adopted someone, or multiple people, and taken them into his care.

"Mr. Wagner, what if we show the public you're caring these orphans? Your brothers? We have heard complaints lately that you're coming off as an 'iron fist' sort of guy."

Lucius is literally speechless, groaning into his hands as they pitch more ideas, even noting that if he stops the vandalisms and shows his 'soft' side to the public, he'll get more supporters.

CUT TO DAMIEN!

On the topic of these vandalisms, Damien has to take pictures of the symbols for the newspapers and online articles, noting that he could draw some better than what the 'artists' have done.

One in particular makes him freeze, and makes the hair on the back of his neck stand on end:

A message written in white paint and surrounded by crosses and with what looks like blood underlining the letters. Beneath it is a bowl, a really large bowl, of water:

God help the sons of the devil. Save them from damnation, or let them battle for eternity.

It unsettles him, to say the least, and he goes to wash it off with the water.

ONLY TO BURN HIMSELF AS HIS FINGERS DIP INTO THE BOWL.

Yes. Someone put HOLY WATER under this message.

Damien resolves to simply take a picture, with his phone not his camera, and leave, running into Michael.

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be home watching Adam and Jack!"

"Sorry, Brother dearest, I don't really HAVE to listen to you."

"If I get home and the house is in ashes-"

"Relax," Michael shrugs as he begins to walk away. "Knowing Jack, he probably doesn't even know how to blink."

He chuckles, but stops as he passes by the creepy, holy water message, not looking at it, but feeling the holy water and the crosses.

And the blood, which he inspects, and finds is from a lamb.

It goes from bad to worse when they notice a pair of men striding toward them.

Damien leads Michael away, warning him, "Ignore them. Hopefully they just walk away."

Neither do, even when the two begin walking faster.

When the two males start gaining, and when one unsheathes a flaming dagger, the brothers make a run for it, but the men give chase.

"What the hell is they're problem!?" Michael snarks, "Why are they following us!?"

"Just keep running!" Damien barks back.

They round a corner, and Michael throws a ball of fire, hitting the unarmed male in the arm, the fire making him howl more than the average person.

The armed male, however, manages a slash across Michael's chest, just enough to leave him heavily wounded.

With Michael now useless, Damien slings him over his shoulders and races for a store full of people, using some telekinesis to throw a stream of water in a foutain to throw off the armed man pursuing them.

He stops when everyone is staring, the man, who I'm aure you've realized by now is an angel, stands in place, unaware of what to do.

"Go 'head," Damien eggs on. "Do it. You can kill us, but wanna try doing it infront of everyone here!?"

The angel eyes all the people, who are whispering and have their phones out, before glaring at Damien and a now standing Michael, sheathing his dagger, and storming away, miracling around a corner to avoid detection.

Both breathe a sigh of relief as they take a seat.

"Any idea on what just happened?"

Michael huffs and rubs some hair out of his face. "Take a guess. Why do Crowley and Aziraphale want was to stay together?"

TV perspective time as the camera zooms in on Damien, who looks over at the wall the angel vanished behind and then down at his feet.

With growing dread music, CUT TO JACK!!!!

Jack is humming as he takes out a tray of chocolate chip cookies, where we that he's also baked 'Welcome Home' cakes, pies, cupcakes, and just about anything else he can think of; don't worry, he made sure to keep the kitchen spotless.

He sets the cookies on the stovetop to cool and admires all the pastries, which makes Aziraphale applaud; he decided to pay Jack a visit because he's the most pleasant, and is closest with Adam.

Speaking of whom, Jack notices the time and calls out to him.

"Hey, Adam! You getting hungry?" He knocks on Adam's bedroom door, ever the good big brother. "I can make you a sandwich, if you want. Grilled cheese, PB and J, bacon-lettuce-tomatoe, even a breakfast sand..."

Jack opens Adam's door to find there's no Adam or Dog in sight and the window is wide open.

CUT TO LUCIUS, who's screaming into a bathroom sink full of water because his campaign officers won't shut up about painting him in a good light to appeal to people's emotions.

He pulls his face out of the water and dries off, growling on frustration when he gets a call from Jack(possibly the hundredth call that day).

This time, when Lucius answers, he sees Jack running with Aziraphale beside him.

"Lucius, hi! How's your day? Great! We're fine! I don't know where Adam is, so Aziraphale and I are looking for him!"

It hits Lucius like a ton of bricks as he writes, 'I thought he was in his room!?'

"So did we, dear boy," Aziraphale replies. "However, he must have left while no one was looking!"

Lucius starts to wonder why no one's kept an eye on him, until he realizes who ALSO left the house and hangs up on Jack, who objects to the action, to call Michael.

CUT TO MICHAEL AND DAMIEN! The two are having lunch in the food court of the mall to shake off the adrenaline of being chased by killer angels, when Lucius calls.

Michael, reluctantly, answers and waves at him, not talking because his mouth is full.

'YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WATCH ADAM AND JACK! WHY DID YOU LEAVE!?'

"Calm down, Lucius," Damien groans. "In case you haven't noticed, we've been having a bad day, too."

'Where are you!?'

"Having lunch at a crowded mall because we got attacked by angels."

Lucius furrows his brow in confusion and Damien sends the picture of the creepy graffiti he found.

"Saw it while I was working on an article. Guess we're not as evasive as we thought."

As Lucius inspects it, Michael explains, "The red is lamb's blood, and there's holy water in the bowl. I think someone or something doesn't want us around."

Lucius shakes his head and writes/sends/signs, 'Do either of you know where Adam is? Jack said he ran away.'

"And where's Jack?"

'Looking for him with Aziraphale.'

"So now Jack AND Adam are gone?" Michael gapes.

All three jump out of their skin when Crowley shouts, "WHAT!?" and throws open the bathroom door.

Michael hisses out of emotional-esque pain and Damien groans into his hands as Crowley takes the phone from Lucius and gets really close to it.

"Where are those two right now!?"

"Like we just said, we don't know," Damien replies. "Adam ran away with Dog, so Jack and Aziraphale are going-"

"AZIRAPHALE'S OUT THERE, TOO!?"

Crowley drops the phone on the floor, something we see from Michael's and Damien's perspective, as he shouts, "Hold on, angel, I'm coming!"

With Lucius, the Wagner senator picks up his phone and gulps as he puts all the pieces together:

The message sent by Damien was written by angels, who know that all five brothers are on Earth, and are now planning to wipe them off the face of the planet, whether because of the grand plan or because each can cause the apocalypse, or because Jack and Adam fucked up bringing the apocalypse.

Eother way, he writes to Damien and Michael to, 'FIND THEM NOW.' and hangs up before he sprints out of the bathroom and out of the building, telling his lead secretary to cancel every single one of his plans because of a family emergency.

Now, I lnow what you're wondering, "Where's Adam right now? Did Gabriel get to him first?"

No, silly goose, he's fine.

Adam is walking through the streets with dog at his side, growling at anyone that gets too close. He's been crying for a while, but has stopped now because he just wants to walk and not think about London, which is hard because it's everyone's favorite subject at the moment.

He also wants to get away from his new brothers for a little while. In his mind:

Lucius is not around at all, and when he is, he's kimd of creepy with the whole "not talking" thing.

Damien's too pushy and doesn't give him space to be emotional or get used to his new environment.

Michael's just an asshole- not his words, but true all the same.

And... well, there's no real complaint with Jack. He's okay.

But not even Jack's good nature can change Adam's opinions on the rest of his new brothers.

It doesn't help that Aziraphale and Crowley can't just adopt him, either, because they don't know how his powers fully work, hence why they gave him to the other four.

Too lost in his head, Adam does not notice a trying-not-to-be-angry Gabriel walk up to him from behind, hiding a bottle of holy water as he says, "Hello, Adam."

Adam turns and pales. "Gabriel!? What are you doing here!?"

"I just wanted to check on you. See if you were ready try again with armageddon, all things considered."

Adam backs away, now very disturbed. "Stay away from me," he stammers.

Thank goodness Dog is more observant and bites the bastard, which gets Adam to focus and makes him realize NOW is a good time to run like hell.

He smacks Gabriel with his backpack and flees with Dog following. Gabriel is behind as he clutches his hand before giving chase, cursing that he can't miracle to Adam, that power being taken away from him since his 'falling out,' so he's left to run to chase after Adam, which draws a lot of negative attention, I must say.

Doesn't matter, though, because Adam is simultaneously loosing Gabriel and seeing that he's gaining on him.

That's when a hand grabs his arm and pulls him into a nearby store, throwing him behind a shelf of souvenirs, i.e. knickknacks and plushies, and a rack of keychains.

Gabriel looks through the window and bamgs his forehead against it before leaving, scowling as he trudges away.

Adam watches him as the male that pulled him whistles at the pouting angel.

"I knew Gabriel was always too eager to wear his big boy pants. Glad to see he hasn't changed. Evn though I knew he wouldn't."

Adam looks up at him, a sort of short, kind of stumpy man that looks kind of like if Aziraphale had actually taken being an archangel seriously; culry hair that's a dirty blond-ish, brown, alert eyes that see nothing and everything all at once, dark, sharp clothes, and a know-it-all smirk as he holds a hand out for Adam.

If you watched the show Lucifer on Netflix, you know EXACTLY who this guy is.

Dog doesn't growl at this guy, sensing that he's not going to hurt them.

"Sorry to scare you like that, Adam. I'm your uncle, but please just call me Uriel."

Adam lets Uriel help him up, now really confused.

"How do you know my name?"

"Father's talked a lot about you and your brothers, and I just wanted to see you myself. See just how busy my brother got while he visited this planet." Uriel looks out the window and fights a smirk. "Speaking of brother..."

Cue Jack and Aziraphale racing down the sidewalk as fast as they can before Jack spots Adam and sprints into the store with Aziraphale on his tail. Both are tired, both are a litttle sweaty, but they're so happy to see Adam is okay.

"Adam, there we are!" Jack cries as he and Adam hug and Jack spins him as they do. "We were so worried! I didn't hear you in your room, I'm so sorry!"

Aziraphale lants and simply gives a wave before pushing both boys behind him.

"Uriel."

"Aziraphale. Nice to see you."

The two have a stare down before Aziraphale asks, "Are you going to lead us to a trap or some kind? You know as well as I do there isn't any sort of plan to-"

"Don't talk to me about plans, Aziraphale. I'm the guy who actually MAKES them."

It silences Aziraphale and the brotjers a little on edge.

"Anyway, your brothers will be walking aroumd the corner a block away in about five minutes in the same direction you and Aziraphale were running down. Better get going."

Jack nods and thanks Uriel, leading Adam down the street.

Aziraphale eyes Uriel for a little bit before following the boys, to keep them safe.

Uriel's power holds true as the three meet Damien and Michael.

They all catch each other up as they walk to try and catch a bus.

There are angels in the city and a lot of them don't want the brothers around.

"But Uriel helped me hide from Gabriel. I don't think he wants to hurt us," Adam wonders.

Cue some major confusion from Jack and Michael not wanting to deal with all this because, "We've already got London and the Southwest to worry about. We don't need a bounty on our heads."

The brothers don't have time to think on it because every parent's worst nightmare happens when an angel strides up behind them and throws something down, maybe a holy water bottle and powdered salt to make the brothers back away before flying off with Adam.

The only one to see it happen is Aziraphale and Dog barks at the sky where his master was taken.

The brothers compose themselves and are silent as they realize what's happened.

Not all is lost as Michael gets a text from Crowley on his phone: an address to an old church that was closed down because of poor funding and evrn worse staff that didn't practice what they preached.

Transition from a taxi cab to A few minutes ago and a jet black car SPEEDING down the street fast enough to make Crowley proud, which he is, as Lucius gets filled in on the situation by Damien.

He's actually heading to what could be a very solid guess to where the angel has taken Adam, and Crowley shouts at him to, "Step on it!" when Aziraphale brings up Gabriel and Uriel.

Funny he brings up Uriel, because Lucius has been following him wherever he appears, the archangel having told him about finding Adam and that Lucius needs to trust him to keep Adam safe.

They wind up at an abandoned church, which Crowley hisses at and makes Lucius gag from the sudden nausea, and the senator steps out, gesturing for Crowley to wait in the car.

"Be careful in there."

Lucius gives a thumbs up and leaves, though, TV perspective, the camera would linger on Crowley as he notices a car approach through the rear view mirror.

CUT to Lucius carefully walking up to the church doors as he forces back coughs and gags as he tries opening the door. Key word is tries because it's locked, though he does here someone complaining about how, "The brat has sharp teeth," and, "He won't stop kicking."

To which Gabriel replies, "Just hold him down and keep him quiet."

Stealth time as Lucius ditches the door and walks to the side of the church and climbs up a pipe to reach a window, damn near falling to his death as the pipe gives and falls and leaving him to grab onto and dangle from the leadge of the window as two angels come to inspect.

Lucius scrambles inside and just barley avoids getting caught as he hides against the wall, having a clear view of the inside of the church.

Two angels are working on a salt and lamb's blood symbol much like the one Aziraphale made, the one that sent him to Heavan on accident, as a third angel holds onto a struggling Adam and Gabriel supervises.

The two 'scouts' report that they didn't find anything, just a pipe that broke, which Gabriel comments may have been because of a fat raccoon, and even smells the air a little, before turning to Adam.

Lucius sneaks closer as he watches Gabriel take a small amount of blood from Adam and drip it onto the angel symbol, activating it so it can rid Adam of the devil inside him, aka remove his soul, aka kill him.

LUCIUS IS HAVING NONE OF THAT.

He shakes his head and leaps off the upper level he's been hiding on, landing directly ontop of Gabriel, who throws him off and onto the ground

Lucius wheezes as he sees the abundance of crosses around them and a large bowl if holy water, one that used to be used for baptizing children. He also sees Gabriel dip his fingers into it before kneeling down to get a better look at this new demon that arrived univited.

"Lucius Wagner. I thought I smelled smoke." He flicks his fingers at Lucius, who hisses at the holy water as it touches his skin. "You're oddly more... pleasant to look at than I thought you would be. Then again, evil has a way of looking good, doesn't it?"

Lucuis smirks and signs to him, 'No wonder Heaven doesn't want you either, then.'

Gabriel smacks him for this and checks to see if the symbol is done, which it is, so he orders the three free angels to scout around the church, so no one else interrupts the brothers being exorcised.

Too bad the three can't seem to get the door open, even though they're the ones who locked it.

When the door doesn't budge, Gabriel and the other angels join, leaving Lucius and Adam unguarded, the former crawling towards the bowl of holy water as Adam scooches away from the angel symbol as much as he can, even toward the bowl as well, despite the blistering he feels all over.

Cut to Gabriel trying to open the door and suddenly feeling a little weak as he tries breaking the door, wondering what's going on.

CUT TO OUTSIDE AS AZIRAPHALE AND A SNICKERING URIEL HOLD THE DOOR, HAVING MIRACLED AHEAD OF DAMIEN AND JACK, AS MICHAEL REJOINS THEM, SAYING HE WILL NOT BE PLAYING SANTA CLAUS AGAIN ANYTIME SOON!!!😁

Cut back to inside the church, where Lucius pulls a cross down on the alter and starts getting a little more strength back before he picks up Adam.

Two fallen crosses will have to be enough to allow him some strength as he holds Adam and kicks the bowl of holy water, which washes away the angel symbol and seeps away through the floor boards.

Gabriel sees and hear this and shouts, "No!"

Lucius switches his grip on his brother as he holds up a flaming hand, glaring at the angels.

They retaliate by snagging crosses and charging forward.

Too bad Lucius is good at thinking on his toes and fans some fire out to the back wall behind the alter, which is lined with tapestry and wood.

The flames catch at rise, scaring away the angels and a scowling Gabriel, who has a glare down with Lucius as he carries an unbound Adam in both arms.

Cut to outside as the fire grows. News reporters, police officers, and our squad are outside as firefighters rush in.

Jack is racing between people to get a better look at the tragedy and then holds his hands out before Damien stops him.

"Relax, they're going to be okay."

"But how do you-"

The firefighters race out with an unconscious Gabriel and a coughing, hunched over Lucius, who's still holding Adam. All three are covered in soot and everyone notices that Adam and Lucius are a little injured, but Gabriel is unharmed.

When news reporters crowd Lucius, who is seated in an ambulance and given a shock blanket as he refuses to have Adam taken out of his arms, they start asking the basic and REAL questions:

"Mr. Wagner, were you attacked just now?"

"Did you jump into a burning building to save this boy?"

"Do you know the man that attacked you?"

"Who is the boy you saved?"

"Is it true you adopted three boys into your care?"

"Are you in any ki d of relationship at the moment?"

Before Lucius can answer, Jack plows through with Michael and Damien in toe, Jack hugging a now conscious Adam and Lucius and apologizing for not being a good brother.

Also cue Dog jumping up and kissing Adam and even Lucius.

The press gets a lot of pictures of this, and Damien hugging Lucius, calling him, "snuggle-bug" as he hugs him.

The police see Lucius giving the, 'I'm done, make them stop' signal, and start pushing everyone away, telling them he'd like time alone with his family.

But not after one more question:

"Mr. Wagner, is this your family?"

Lucius nods with a smile, nodding at Jack, Damien, Michael, and Adam.

He also types on his phone to them all, 'No more running away, okay?'

They all agree.

The "episode" ends with Gabriel being locked up in a jail cell for araon and assaulting a politician and a minor and the brothers returning home from the hospital after Lucius and Adam are checked out at the hospital.

There they see all the desserts in a spotless kitchen, surprising Michael and making Lucius start warming up to having a family.

#crossover #sons of the morning star #adam young #damien thorn #jack kline #lucius wagner #michael langdon #ahs #good omens #supernatural #Lucius #american horror story #child endanderment tw #evil angels #lucifer show #the omen

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scumerage · 4 years

Text

Tornado and Child Emperor are the True Protagonists of the Monster Association Raid:

#I. Garou is not the Protagonist of the Raid:

Why those two and not Garou? Simple. Garou is the protagonist of the Monster Association Saga, not the raid. He is barely present during the raid...

The fight against Darkshine (Pri Pri isn't much of a fight) =

Arriving at the surface and claiming Disaster Level God

Proceeding to defeat GS and every hero on the surface

His fight with Saitama and the aftermath

Now, the last two are two of the largest events in the series.... but those only happen at the end, during the beginning and middle of the raid, Garou does absolutely nothing other than beat down Pri Pri and Darkshine, then climb to the surface. Garou isn't very much relevant for the beginning and middle of the raid.

But what do Child Emperor and Tornado do that is so, so much more important? Why can they lay claim to being the protagonists of this raid in the manga (Edit 2) and not Garou (or even Saitama)? Quite simple: Child Emperor is the sole leader of the S-Class heroes, and Tornado is champion of the heroes, expected to defeat the Monster Association alone when all hope is lost (Edit 1).

#II. Child Emperor - The Leader of the Heroes:

What does Child Emperor accomplish?

The planning of the entire raid (Tracking down the monsters HQ in City Z/ mapping out the entire area/providing communicators and strategy)

The battle against Phoenix Man, which causes him to doubt the entire Hero Association and his fellow S-Class

The rescue of Waganma, the #1 reason the raid happened in the first place

Coordinating with the other S-Class on the surface to fight ENW, BS, and Garou

Is that as much as Garou? No. But it is throughout the entire raid, not simply the end. Therefore Child Emperor plays a much larger and more central role than Garou ever did.

And think of how much more the manga may add to increase his leadership role? Child Emperor may not be the only adult in the room room, but he's certainly the only parent actually looking out for the S-Class as a whole (unlike Tornado or Sweet Mask who view them as second rate.

Child Emperor is the only truly competent Hero leader we've seen so far in the series. A genius scientist, strategist, AND respected leader even by the largely egotistical, lone wolf S-Class. As far at the aliens, he was running through options for attacking the ship since 4 S-Class were handing Melzagard. After that, what..

Tanktop with his bros... nothing more than a gang of jocks?

Blizzard with her B-Class maphia, all suit and no sting? (or her "New Blizzard Bunch" pipedream?)

Death Gatling and his merry band... who he viewed as expendable for his own glory?

Sekingar... tried. A noble effort... but leadership doesn't give an A for effort.

That's why Child Emperor is the protagonist of the Monster Association Raid. He is the only one holding the S-Class together... as a team... as one unit to face the unified might of the monsters. He knows it, all too well (allowing Phoenix Man to use this heavy burden of leadership against him). He sees the big picture of the raid as a whole. >!Thus... it will be his failure with their defeat by Garou. Not because Child Emperor's leadership mattered then... but it should never have gotten that bad. The Monster Association should have been defeated long before that, and Garou dealt with quickly and prematurely. No wonder he leaves the rotting HA and joins the Neo-Heroes.

#III. The Tornado of Terror - The Champion of the Heroes:

"In the Hero Association, there is also someone among the officers who expected very strong monsters that could make the S-Class struggle. Still then reason he was so confident... was...."

"HER.... The S-Class Rank 2 Hero, Tornado of Terror, was participating."

"She is a being nothing in the world could hope to defeat in a frontal attack. Rather than S-Class Rank 1 Blast who does not carelessly stand on the centre stage, she is treated as the Association's final weapon."

What does the Tornado of Terror accomplish?

The "defeat" of Gyoro Gyoro AND Psykos, the mastermind behind the Monster Association

Lifting the monsters base out of the ground in order to force the remaining monsters to fight on the open surface rather than hide/ambush/corner the heroes underground/

The battle against Pykos and Orochi, as the only S-Class hero in the raid capable of facing them alone (Edit 3)

The "defeat" of Black Sperm and ENW, two monsters none of the other heroes could defeat

Facing Garou alone, if briefly, as the only S-Class hero present capable of doing so (Edit 3)

But.... there is a problem with all those actions: it's just Tornado being powerful, isn't it? Does that add any value to her character? No... and yes. No, because we already knew she was the strongest S-Class hero by feats. Yes... because her power puts the entire raid, and even the S-Class in general... in perspective.

Whenever the Hero Association acts, sending in an S-Class hero to eliminate a Demon, worrying about the rise in monster attacks, considering whether or not the unreliable S-Class will actually show up when called... Tornado is there. She alone is the only hero who has made it her duty to save the world, day in and day out.

Blast is completely absent, neither an alien invasion nor a continental explosion threaten humanity enough for him take action.

Metal Knight has given up saving millions from monsters in order to save billions from the Organization.

King refuses to fight publicly, time and time again walking away from monsters and forcing other heroes to pick up his slack.

While the rest of the S-Class are too weak/limited to even consider the idea of trying to save the world on their own.

Of course, it's quite easy to say Garou is a far more developed and world changing character than her. That is correct... but that doesn't make him relevant during most of the Monster Association Raid itself. She was there in the beginning, middle, and end.... because no one else could fulfill her role as the champion upon which all other heroes could follow to victory.

#IV. The Longterm Consequences of Tornado and Child Emperor's roles:

The Monster Association Raid >!was a disaster and an utter humiliation for the Hero Association and the S-Class (despite the fact they achieved both key objectives of rescue and victory)!<. Still, those two hold together both heroes and the Hero Association through her power and his leadership. Something even Amai Mask, for all social power, could never do.

>!But after the raid? Tornado is outcast as a potential disaster by the Hero Association. Child Emperor is disgusted by the corruption and incompetence and leaves of his own accord. Again, even with Amai Mask, the unity of the heroes was doomed to crumble without them, losing Amai was just the ripping the bandage off rotting wound in the Hero Association that was already there.!<

- Without Tornado, the champion of the heroes, her quote >!from Blast!< couldn't be any truer for the Hero Association...

"Don't go expecting someone to come and save you.”

- Without Child Emperor, the leader of the heroes, Phoenix Man's quote about the heroes unity would inevitably come to pass:

"Their unity was broken... it was fragile... it's because their interests and ideals are not one and the same."

#V. Final Notes:

Edit 1: King is too unreliable and unpredictable in spite of his power, unlike Tornado, who fights publicly and directly.

Edit 2: In the webcomic, yes, it is fair to argue Child Emperor and Tornado were not protagonists, as Child Emperor was just one hero among many, and Tornado >!ended up just getting knocked out 3x in a row!<. However, in the manga, their roles are greatly expanded.

Edit 3: Just as with the alien ship, King is too far away from the battle to provide aid. Just because he's the world's strongest man doesn't mean he surpasses Tornado in range and mobility.

#One Punch Man #OPM #One Punch Man manga #manga #One Punch Man webcomic #webcomic #Tornado of Terror #Tatsumaki #Child Emperor #Garou #Yusuke Murata #Murata #ONE #Hero Association #HA #MA #Monster Association #Superheroes #Heroes

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orangeoctopi7 · 4 years

Text

Back to School

: Chapter 1 : Chapter 2 :

Stan was sullen as they left their morning math class.

“That was great!” Ford chuckled, “I thought Mr. Grauberger was going to spit out his dentures when you answered that tax-cut problem!” But he noticed his brother wasn’t laughing along. “What’s wrong?”

Stan fidgeted with his backpack strap. “Yeah, the look on his face was definitely worth it. It’s just…” He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “The minute he passed out that quiz, I froze! I should know that stuff, it’s finance, it’s what I’m actually good at, but I just couldn’t think!” He scuffed his feet on the linoleum floor. “All this time, and I’m still just the dumb twin.”

Ford scowled. "That's not true. It doesn’t matter what some arbitrary scholastic test says, you’re smart! I never would have made it home if you weren’t!”

“I know, you’re right.” Stan gave a small smile, “I just... wish I could’ve proved it to them.”

“They don’t matter.” Ford said shortly. “If it makes you feel any better, you can copy off my answers the next time you freeze on a test.”

“Yeah, just like the good ol’ days.” Stan chuckled sardonically.

They tried to lie low through the rest of the day, not answering questions in class or talking to their fellow students. Neither of them really had any friends, outside of each other, which hadn’t been great for their social development, but at least it made things easier from a time-travel perspective. Nobody found it odd that the twins were keeping to themselves.

Of course, they didn’t have all the same classes together. Ford had advanced classes in Physics and Chemistry. Stan had an extra hour of PE that was basically just more time for boxing practice, and Choir, simply because it was an easy A.

Stan was enjoying taking some of his frustration out on a punching bag in the weights room when a hulking figure, almost as wide as he was tall, stepped behind the sandbag.

“D’you mind?” Stan complained. He didn’t want to hit whoever was back there when the bag swung back.

“Well, well, Stan the lesser. Practicin' for tomorrow's match?” Crampelter’s ugly visage peeked from behind the bag.

“Ugh. I forgot they held you back a couple of years.” Stan rolled his eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” The bully demanded.

“You wouldn’t get it even if I explained it to you.” Stan smiled smugly.

Crampelter stepped up to Stan. He was still almost a head taller. “Your brother’s supposed to be the smart-mouth.”

“We’re trading shifts.” Stan replied flippantly, not even remotely intimidated. “Now do you wanna do this right now, or can we save it for the ring? Y’know, where I can get paid to punch your face in.”

“You’re just scared to take me without a ref!”

“Not even a little. I just need the cash. I got a parking ticket to pay, apparently.”

With that, Stan swung a powerful left hook into the punching bag, swinging it directly into Crampelter’s gut. The bully doubled over, and Stan took the opportunity to get out of there. While he was confident he could take Crampelter even in a dirty fight, it really just wasn’t worth the trouble.

He decided to skip Choir today and check on Ford. It seemed like their childhood bully was looking for a fight.

It took Stan a while to remember where Ford’s classroom was. He tried to just peek in quietly, but the teacher’s head immediately snapped to the door.

“He’s not here.” She said brusquely as soon as she saw who it was.

“Uh… d’you know where he went?”

“Said he needed supplies for his science fair project.” and with that, she returned to the board, where she was writing what Stan now recognized as the equation to calculate the gravitational forces two objects exert on each other.

There were a few places Ford could have gone to find supplies. First Stan checked the Chemistry lab and the art room. He finally found his brother in the auto shop, which was empty this time of day. When Stan opened the door, Ford was standing at the back of the room casually, with his best ‘innocent angel’ look.

“Oh, it’s just you.” the scientist went back to rummaging through the welding equipment as soon as he saw his brother.

“What are you doing!?” Stan hissed as he crossed the shop.

“Well I can’t fix the time tape using whatever dad’s got lying around.”

“Yeah, I get that part. But you could get kicked outta the science fair for stealin’ from the school!”

“As a wise man once said,” Ford flashed his brother a knowing grin, “Only if I get caught.”

Stan couldn’t help but be a little proud, but there was too much at stake for that right now. “At least let me do it, I already swipe enough stuff that they’ll expect it, and it doesn’t matter if I get in trouble.”

Ford rolled his eyes but relented. “Knowing how the administration feels about you, even if I did get caught, they’d probably find a way to pin it back on you anyway.”

Stan took a look at the box Ford had been ransacking. “So whaddya need?”

“The smallest soldering iron you can find.”

“What kinda filling?”

“It’s called solder.” Ford corrected him automatically, “Ideally, Lithium, but I know they’re not going to have it. Tin or Copper should suffice.”

“Anything else?”

“A face shield and anything else you can find that'll help working with small circuitry."

"Pretty sure Dad's got some jeweler's lenses in the pawn shop. If you tell him it's for the science fair project, he'll probably let you use ‘em."

Ford grimaced. “I’m worried if I ask to use any of dad’s tools, he’ll want to see how it’s coming.”

“So just show him the preliminary frame. It’s not like he actually gets how the perpetual motion machine is supposed to work. You can just hide the time tape in a drawer or something.”

Ford nodded reluctantly. “Well, I suppose I’d better leave, if we don’t want to get caught. I wish cell phones had already been invented; I’d text you if I thought of anything else I might need.”

“Pch, we never needed those pieces of junk before!” Stan scoffed. “Oh, wait! Before you go, I was lookin’ for you to warn you. I ran into Crampelter earlier, seemed like he was lookin’ for a fight, so, uh, might wanna watch your back.”

Ford flashed him a vicious smile. “Honestly? I welcome the opportunity.”

“Tryin’ to stick to the timeline, remember?”

“Fine, fine, I’ll try and stay out of his way, but if he comes after me…”

“Then you can use your 30 years of sci-fi survival skills to get out of there without causin’ a scene.”

“You’re no fun.” The scientist pouted.

“If I can’t leave Shermie a note, you can’t beat up Crampelter.”

Ford wanted to argue that one of those would alter the timeline significantly more than the other, but he also knew that Stan would not want to hear it. And besides, he really needed to get out of there before anyone else showed up.

#Gravity Falls #Fanfiction #Stanley Pines #Stanford Pines #My Writing

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mystrade-reading-club · 4 years

Text

Vote for your favourite St Valentine fic

There is so much love for - and between - our Minor Gov’t Official and his Detective Inspector, you lovelies will probably have a difficult time choosing. Give it your best and vote on Discord.

A matter of perspective by @7-percent, NR, 1k Mrs Hudson ships Mystrade. She’s made a plan to bring them together on Valentine’s Day and roped in Sherlock and John to help. It seems like the perfect romantic moment, but is there something more to it? A short fluffy Mystrade with a tiny hint of Johnlock.

I Love You In A Song by @sherlock-nanowrimo, T, 30k It’s Greg’s first year at uni, and he’s eager to make friends. Meanwhile his little sister misses him, so he records youtube videos of him singing and playing guitar for her. Mycroft is in his second year, still having trouble connecting with people. He discovers Greg’s videos, and is drawn to him despite his vow to put his work first. Then one day they meet, and their subsequent friendship sparks months of pining and misunderstandings, while also helping them understand themselves better.

Bonfire Heart by @jessieblackwood, M, 45k Greg Lestrade is the Senior consultant cardiothoracic surgeon in charge of heart transplant patient, Sherlock Holmes’, care. Mycroft is Sherlock’s mysterious older brother and a prominent member of the governing board for the private hospital Greg works in. Detective Inspector John Watson is Sherlock Holmes’ partner but Mycroft seems determined to keep John and his brother apart. Greg must juggle his own problems with those of his patient in order to make sure Sherlock’s anxieties are settled but what is it about Mycroft that rings alarm bells in Greg’s head? Can he thaw the Iceman’s heart and help his brother to recover, and even save Mycroft from himself?

Bah, Humbug...A Mystrade Valentine by @Tammany, G, 2k

It's mushy. It's fluffy. It's probably going to do bad things to your insulin resistance. But it could be worse. After all, Mycroft and Lestrade don't do Valentine's Day.Really. XD

Mycroft's Special Day by @merindab R, 1k It's not always easy having a birthday on Valentine's Day

Diamond In The Rough by @bigblueboxat221b, T, 4k Of the pile of secret Valentines on his desk, two stand out to Greg for very different reasons. One is more straightforward than the other, but neither is exactly what it seems.

Valentine Ambush by @justusmice, M, 3k There's a dinner and some romance. Neither of them had quite expected it. Anthea, as always, is to blame.

Wednesday by @anarfea, E, 7,5k Greg and Mycroft have been seeing each other (neither of them calls it dating) for several months when Greg asks Mycroft on a date on Wednesday. Not ‘Valentine’s Day,’ even though it is, because Greg doesn’t want to spook Mycroft by appearing overly sentimental or romantic. Mycroft spooks anyway.

On the Market by @nattylineinumbrellas, T, 8k Or five times Greg failed at dating and one time he really, really didn't. With another lonely Valentine's Day looming, Greg Lestrade decides it’s time to get back in the dating game. He’s out of practice, though, and even with Sally acting as wingman things are not going smoothly. But is it just bad luck, or does someone perhaps have a vested interest in keeping the detective single...

Together Forever by @sanguisugaao3, E, 12k Greg takes Mycroft to the pub, and the evening takes a not quite unexpected turn...

The Mystrade Valentine Calendar

Draw me like one of your French Girls by @theuniverseisrarelysolazyemmy, T, 7.5k After Sherrinford, Mycroft can't cope. At all. When he finally emerges from his shell again, he encounters Greg in the last place he would expect...

I Don't Normally Bother by Topicabo, E, 5k Mycroft doesn't really do Valentine's Day. But he'll make the exception for Greg.

The Dating Habits of a Minor Government Official by MagicaDraconia16 , G, 2.5k A government official, even a minor one, always knows exactly what he wants. And what he wants . . . does not include them trying to date somebody else.

Without Reservations by @crushedrose Black_Dawn, G, 10k Instead of a happy Valentine's day, Greg and Mycroft broke up, now a year later they need to face their mistakes...face each other, find Sherlock and deal with their feelings.

Where or When by shadowed_sunsets, T, 25k His entire life Greg Lestrade has had the ability to help people find their perfect matches, whether they will be platonic or romantic partners. It's a gift that has been passed down in his family for generations. The one thing his gift isn't useful for is helping Greg find his own perfect match. He thought he was happy, and that his life was going as well as he could hope for. That he should be satisfied with what he had. Then he met the Holmes brothers, and well... everything changed.

One Little Word by lmirandas , G, 7k Love. Amor. Amore. Lieb. Amour. 恋. One little word, with so much meaning in many languages. In a world in which you can only utter or use the word to refer to your soulmate, Mycroft Holmes hopes one day he will hear that word from someone else. A Mystrade Soulmate AU.

The Scrapbook by brooklyn09, NR, 1k Now in their 80's, Greg and Mycroft look back on Valentine's Days from their past. Years later, after their natural deaths, their niece Rosamund finds a scrapbook, a testament of their love for one another.

Greg Gets His Man by Anglofile , E, 3k It's Valentines Day. Can Greg Lestrade become his best friend's valentine?

"Happy Valenversary, Gregory" by Saratonin, E, 3k When you're married to the British Government holidays and anniversaries may get rescheduled. Crabbiness will probably ensue.

Valentine's Delay by @bryntwedge, 8.5k Greg is upset he's alone for Valentine's day, and decides to get drunk to drown out the sorrow. Lucky for him, Mycroft is indulging in his secret attraction by watching Greg through the CCTV and comes out to help. Drunk confessions and a confusing morning after ensue.

The Uncommon Case of the Missing Page by BlueFruit, T, 2k Greg is solving a big case without any help from Sherlock, but he needs time. Mycroft is reading the news and he doesn’t like them. What can bother the most powerful man in England?

Don’t say something stupid (like: "I love you") by @ylc1, T, 2k Mycroft is not upset. There’s nothing to be upset about, really. So what if Inspector Lestrade has an actual date on Valentine’s Day? It’s not like he has any real claim on the man. And yet-

7 Days to Valentine's Day by @holysnowflake, NR, 10k On 7th February the 17-years-old Mycroft Holmes opens his locker and finds a mysterious note.

Written In The Stars by @siriusblue T, 1k Greg Lestrade always thought he was the romantic one but after twenty-five years of marriage, Mycroft can still surprise him.

#28 Doing something ridiculous by 221_french_bee , G, 3k Greg has been helping the gardener at the Holmes house, and Mycroft hadn’t been able to tamper his attraction for the teen as he ogled from his windows. On Valentine’s Day, when Gregory arrives on this motorcycle and asks to speak to Mycroft, he is hopeful their romantic relationship is finally taking its first steps. But will Sherlock’s shenanigans keep them away from each other? John is amazed, Sherlock is a little brat, and both Greg and Mycroft are pining idiots!

It's Not That Important by @theartstudentyouhate, M, 2.5k They've finally gotten together... on the evening of the 13th but can they spend Valentine's day together and is it really that important?

A Devil of A DI by @wingedwhale, E, 3.5k Mycroft discovers what Greg Lestrade truly is.

A Bundle of Love by RayBen, E, 8.6k Greg realises there is something missing in Mycroft's life and he wants more than anything to see him receive it.

Next Year by @lavenderandvanilla T, 2k “I’m telling you, we’re jinxed.” “Gregory, don’t be ridiculous.” “Well, what would you call it? We’ve not had a good Valentine’s Day yet.” “It’s merely coincidental that we’ve not had a Valentine’s Day that would be considered perfect.” “I’m sorry, what is it you say about ‘coincidence’?” “You have me there. Fine, the fates are against us. We should simply give up.” “No way. We’re going to show Cupid and have a perfect Valentine’s Day.”

Never Call It 'VD' by HumsHappily, G, 3k Venereal disease (Noun): a contagious disease (such as gonorrhea or syphilis) that is typically acquired in sexual intercourse — compare std. Abbreviated as ‘VD’ Relationship (Noun):the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected. Valentine’s Day (Noun): The damn thing that started all this, dammit. Also see: Gregory Lestrade struggles to figure out a gift for the man who has it all.

A Valentine's Comedy of Errors by @antheas-blackberry, NR, 1k It's Valentine's day, a day for lovers to indulge one another. Sometimes it doesn't always go to plan.

The Suit by @ohsocyanide , E, 5k Greg only ever wore the suit for one reason.

Secret by @sumeragisakura, E, 7k It’s Valentine’s Day and Greg’s got an extra case on his hands.

Not To My Knowledge by @bigblueboxat221b, G, 4k Greg discovers nobody has ever courted (wooed? chased? pursued? had designs on?) Mycroft. He sets out to do so - with Mycroft's permission, of course.

Sometimes, The Direct Approach Is Best by MsLadySmith, T, 1k Mycroft Holmes may be an expert at the subtleties of diplomacy, but when it comes to romance, he’s woefully ill-prepared. Enter DI Greg Lestrade.

The Magic of the Night by @chriscalledmesweetie, M, 525 Greg knew there would be consequences for the trick he pulled on Valentine’s Day; he only hoped he was correct in his prediction of what form Mycroft’s “revenge” would take.

The Best Part by @emimagine, G, 1k Greg makes this Valentine's Day one Mycroft won't forget.

Move by @justonemore11 , M, 8.5k In which Greg and Mycroft enter the London property market and narrowly manage to avoid being crushed by centuries of urban decay and renewal, and decades of family baggage.

By the Sea by brooklyn09, M, 1,5k Greg is missing Mycroft on Valentine's Day. Mycroft has some surprises in store.

Fixture by @Spooky831, G, 1k It's the first Valentine's Day after Sherrinford.

This Year's Love by @notjustamumj, G, 301

Flowers for Mycroft by @arlenejp, G, 2.5k The giving of flowers and their meanings. Mycroft is unaware of who is doing the giving and how the meaning of the flowers applies to him.

Valentine's Magic by @chriscalledmesweetie, G, 578 Greg has a trick up his sleeve this Valentine's Day.

#mystrade #mystrade reading club #vote #voting #st valentines day #st valentine

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tawakkull · 4 years

Text

Spirituality in islam: Tahqiq (Verification)

In the language of Sufism, tahqiq (verification) means that not only does an initiate who has almost come to the final step of the journey know the Unique Being that is Eternally-Besought-of-All with His Existence and Perfect Attributes in accordance with the Qur'anic presentation of Him, but also that the truth of Divinity is felt beyond all concepts of modality and His special manifestations in the individual’s consciousness and other spiritual faculties.

Those who have found the truth and reached this level continue their journey in the horizon of journeying to God or journeying from God, according to their capacity, without suffering doubts or hesitations any more. They are no longer exposed to any feelings of being eclipsed by God’s permission, for they see by God’s Seeing, hear by His Hearing, and feel everything in the light of His Attributes. In other words, such heroes of verification are always on the way to God and live for His sake and feel His constant company. This is a rank which is regarded as the rank of being loved by God and implies a special favor of the All-Beloved One. One who has attained this rank is loved by the Almighty and, as a reflection of this love, by the inhabitants of heaven and by people with sincere hearts on the earth. The visible sign of this invisible Divine love is attachment to the performance of supererogatory acts of worship in addition to faultless performance of the obligatory acts.

Lovers of truth who perform the obligatory acts of worship perfectly and punctually, later making up those which they were not able to perform at the correct time with a serious, sincere feeling of remorse, and who feel great, heartfelt concern for the supererogatory acts, always feel the Truth, always “see” Him, walk toward Him, and uphold truth in life. It is inconceivable that anything else save Him can find a way into such persons’ hearts and anything or anyone that is lovable from the heart can catch their eye. Even if sometimes a mist may appear on their horizon, it comes and goes like the mists of spring, indicating new expansions of spirit. Such people always advance, whether they are in distress or whether they are rejoicing.

Ismail Haqqi Bursawi depicts such heroes of verification as follows:

The people of truth have clearly found in their souls,

That the Light of Truth is extremely near to the creation.

The Truth declared: He hears by Me and sees by Me,

For one that was created from water and dust has found His Light.

If that one of water and dust had not found that Pure Light,

The meaning would not have been manifested so clearly.

Those people of the heart who have found the Light

Belonging to neither east nor west have become the lamp of this Light.

The people of truth have found Unity in multiplicity,

They are safe and secure, and in prosperity.

O Haqqi, submit to the Truth and commit your affairs to Him,

Then you can find the One Who does whatever He wills,

How excellent a Helper He is.

From another perspective, verification denotes that initiates deepen their belief with the knowledge of God and their knowledge of God with the love of Him, and pursues only God’s approval and good pleasure in all the stations that they call at. This exalted truth is felt differently at each step of the spiritual journey. For the belief, knowledge, love and yearning of each traveler to the Truth is in direct proportion with the individual’s certainty and gradations in belief, knowledge and love of God, and the spiritual pleasures are the results of gradations in verification. Belief based on theoretical knowledge, no matter how strong, cannot be, as stated in the saying, Hearing something is not like seeing it, like certainty based on vision and spiritual discovery, even though the object of belief and certainty belongs to the unseen world. Such certainty cannot, likewise, be the same as a perfect conviction that has been deeply ingrained in the heart and become a part of human nature. Theoretical knowledge can only be “a capital of scant worth” (12:88) for the Divine grace expected to come on the way to verification. It is possible to bring certainty based on vision and spiritual discovery to fruition with the munificence of the All-Munificent One, despite such certainty being relative. As for perfect conviction, it is the pure fruit, even the juice, that the rays of His Existence have first annihilated and then given a new existence to with different characteristics. There is reference to the beginning of verification in the Prophet Abraham’s appeal, “My Lord, show me how You will restore life to the dead,” and in its summation of why he made such an appeal, “So that my heart may be at rest” (2:260). We should point out here that it is not possible for us to understand either the certainty of this noble, great Messenger that came from his knowledge, or his certainty that came from his observations and seeing, or his certainty that came from experience. We can only cite him as an example in order to offer a point of comparison and a perspective that will enable us to explain the subject matter. Our Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, stresses this fact by declaring, We are more liable to such a doubt than Abraham; lest doubts appear in people’s hearts concerning the certainty of Abraham in particular, and the certainty of all the Prophets in general. Everyone has a relative horizon and final point of certainty particular to their individual capacity, and everyone needs rest and contentment according to their individual horizon. The smallest degree of certainty of a Prophet is much greater and stronger than the greatest degree of the most spiritually advanced of all other people.

The heroes of verification turn to and concentrate on the Divine Being alone with their belief, love, yearning, zeal, and spiritual pleasure. Accepting His approval and good pleasure as their sole aim, they never consider the blows of Majesty as a cause of suffering nor the breezes of Grace as a means of joy. In their view, whatever comes from Him, be it reprimand or favor, is the same. They consider all His treatment of them as a necessity of being on the way to Him and, without becoming entangled therein, regard everything apart from the true goal to which they have been dedicated, as a transient shadow, and are resolved to reach Him.

Heroes of verification bear all suffering, resist all carnal impulses and meticulously observe the religious orders and prohibitions. They rise without stopping toward heaven with “He” as their sole goal. They feel that they are welcomed with a new trial at every turn and with a different manifestation of Divine approval at every station. They feel the following melodies echoing in their outer and inner senses:

A call has come to me from the Truth:

“Come, O lover, you have intimacy with Us!

This is the place of intimacy;

I have seen you as a faithful one!” (Nasimi)

This is truly such a rank that one who has reached it feels that his or her belief comes from Him, just as his or her knowledge, love and zeal also come from Him. What confirms these feelings is the impressive acknowledgment (2:32), Glory be to You, we have no knowledge except what You have taught us, and the sole truth felt in consciousness is, He is the All-Permanent, the Eternal, the Perpetual. Many diverse things catch the eyes and ears until they reach this rank. However, when the steps end here and the state is transformed into a station, human nature melts away voicing (40:16), All the commandment belongs to Him Who is the One, the All-Overwhelming, and the truth (55:27), There subsists the Face of your Lord with Majesty and Munificence, echoes from all sides. The human logic which has divided time into the past, the present and the future, becomes lost in the truth, You are the First with none preceding You, and the Last with none to succeed You. It even occurs that the consciousness makes the initiates’ relative existence sink into oblivion and allows them to feel deeply the meaning of There was God without anything that existed with Him. They whisper, “Neither union nor incarnation is true; the true existence belongs to You only, and all else is a shadow of Your Light,” and feel honored by being attributed to Him. Despite their modesty, humility and feeling of nothingness, they taste in their spirit the virtues of being favored with being the best pattern of creation.

O God! We ask You for forgiveness, health, approval, favor, and the breezes of Your friendship, and Your love and company! And let God’s peace and blessings be upon our master Muhammad, Your servant and Messenger, and on his Companions who loved You and made him near to You.

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