I downloaded one of those apps where you can like stretch audio and stuff and I’m having so much fun

(Warning, may be loud)

DID YALL KNOW THAT SOMEONE MADE SPEEDRUNS DEDICATED TO HOW FAST THEY CAN GET TO THE PUNCH SOLAS SCENE 💀💀💀

a taste of hannibal, a touch of megamind, a shot of venom (pours the whole damn bottle)

i love venom (2018) a lot, it’s my go-to movie when i’m bored or sad, i have seen it many many times. i saw it again a week or so ago with a bud and finally had the opportunity to pen down this lovely au i’ve been thinkin bout

i’ve got a much more fleshed out sketch of how this au plays out. not sure if i’ll write it yet

anyway some bullet points

noir (called, ofc, noir) arrives on earth-138 in the 1920s. his first host is robbie and they basically go through the venom movie, where noir slowly learns to love earth and humanity and all that jazz. up until the 50s or so they’re an investigative reporter and occasionally a scary vigilante superhero!

when robbie is killed (not ewaf style. i forbid it), it fucking devastates noir and he host-hops for a bit, doing fun anarchy things to keep up robbie’s legacy but also losing a few morals here and there. he can do a little murder and eat nazis as a treat

the symbiotes arrive en masse and osborn infects humans with them to turn into his fascist riot police army

through vampire-hunting-esque shenanigans, hobie and noir meet, and strike up a tenuous truce to fight the government. hobie does not like him at first, but noir very much does ;)

cue a slow burn gothic romance between a freedom fighter and a devoted monster <3

c!Sapnap was never a good friend to c!Dream and the fact that he insisted that he wanted c!Dream to get better and that he had his best interest in mind while also threatening to kill him if he ever escaped was crazy.

c!sapnap is soooo. so. like i think whats really interesting to me about him too is how personal the way he looks at all of this is--he's mad that c!dream slighted him and slighted him personally, he personally feels used and betrayed, and that's why he's mad and doing all of this. it's not really about a greater moral compass bc [looks at c!sapnap] UHHH THIS MAN DOESNT REALLY HAVE ONE. soundly chaotic evil like holy shit. his love for c!dream is so deeply rooted in possessiveness and it's just ... c!sapnap and the way he sees like, everything, honestly is so fucking like. like. it's about him and the people he's deeply connected to and that's It. he's immature? and well, uh, aggressive and emotional and unpredictable, and he's never really been a character motivated by righteousness as much as he's driven by what he thinks of as his right. the death pact with the revive book/death book and saying that hed kill dream and then george would just die without them both was really just, so. So.

clint mcelroy creating a dnd character: oh yeah, this bad boy can fit so much simple zest for life in him

since my gordon freeman spray didn't carry over, i made a new spray with this stupid picture of gordon from TTTE and it made me die of laugher every time i saw it right in front of me after respawning

hm? did i say that? yeah only about everytime we ever met 😅

Weirdly, I think my number 1 blorbo woman is Amy Sosa from Superstore. She's just got it all for me. I love her so, so much. I don't have a ton of desire to write fic for her (except sometimes porn), but rest assured I think about her regularly. No one's doing it like her.

LOVE that an interviewer asked Greta Gerwig about Ryan's Ken's bizarre laugh "haa haa haaaa" all dragged out and throaty, and she said Ryan literally did that all on his own and after he did it for the first time she told him "that is the weirdest laugh I've ever heard. go for it. use it" LMFAO

Speaking of my job, one of my elementary schools' older kids all want me to play dodgeball with them even though I DO NOT understand Japanese dodgeball at all. I mostly just wind up watching them because they treat this shit with the gravity volleyball has in a Haikyuu episode.

Anyway today Kid A tried to do a cool throw and wound up getting his friend Kid B tagged out, so Kid B gives him the middle finger and--with perfect English pronunciation--goes "omae! FUCK YOU!"

And I snorted so hard because my one weakness is children and babies cursing. It's always funny. I can't help it, even if I'm their teacher

I also had an Edgelord moment because we were learning about how to tell the time in English in class, and we would take turns saying what time it was and then changing the little toy clocks we had. And one of the kids said "It's...9:11!" And I had to bite back my tongue because my mind immediately flashed to that old Norm MacDonald bit and I was about to quote it verbatim to these literal children. "Oh, I don't like that number Kid C, it reminds me of that tragedy. You remember that? 9/11?"

Thinking abt what if the Revenge accidentally hits another ship while sailing (how? many options)

And I can see Stede pulling out like. Ship insurance card and shit and Ed's like um. Babe we can just raid them now

While Stede is like no!! if it was a carriage accident we would trade insurance info and have the accident sketched for our records!

Lucius is already rapidly sketching and shrugging to Ed like idk buddy I'm not taking this one on so good luck

And poor Ed is trying so hard to explain that he's literally never heard of anyone having ship insurance in his life. tf did Stede even buy it at. how will the agent get out here to assess damages and shit? Stede bby pls explain

But he does not. He goes over to the other ship and gives his info and comes back smiling

because he found the one other fucking pirate on the seas who also purchased ship insurance and is delighted Stede was so chill and easy going abt trading info and dealing with the accident, and they anticipate it will be easy claims for both of them

in the background Izzy fuckin lights up a goddamn joint because he can't. he's done. what the entire fuck. Edward if you need me I am gonna be stoned as fuck slumped in the crows nest. fucking ship insurance. of course.

ok but seriously i love superstore so much. it’s probably my favorite sitcom. it’s funny as fuck while also brutally honest in its depiction of the reality of working retail (without being entirely bleak). like as someone who was poor and working class and worked various retail jobs for over a decade it was more relevant to my experiences than shows like the office ever were

me: thorne you have to stop. you smoke too tough. your swag too different. your bitch is too bad. theyll kill you

thorne:

My mother continues to be the most fascinating human in the media-watching world. She loves a genre show. She hates all the elements that make it a genre show. She wants endless recommendations. She’ll ignore the recommendations in favor of rewatching old faves. She binges an entire multi-season show in two days. She can’t tell me if she actually liked the show she just inhaled in record time. She is a television superhero, and I cannot clock her to save my life.

even online i cannot escape middle-aged adults trying to tell me their life story and hit on me,,,,,,,,, help,,,,,