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copper-16 · 1 day

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First Meetings

Elena attends her first football youth team camp, and meets someone who, though she doesn’t realize it at the time, will become a very important person in her life.

(a/n: I must admit this is probably one my more favorite Elena stories I’ve written, so if anyone has anymore ideas that involve older Elena and this new OC we meet here you’d be my new best friend cause I wanna write more about them 🥹)

The first national team camp Elena was ever invited to was when she was only fourteen years old. The call had been to Ingrid, who was then immediately turning to Mapi with a huge smile on her face.

Partly because it was their daughters first call up, and partly because it had been Norway who had come knocking on her door.

Mapi and Ingrid would always argue (playfully, most of the time), about which country their daughter would represent, should she choose the path of becoming a professional athlete.

And while it didn’t matter in the end, for their daughter chose instead to become a doctor as opposed to an athlete, she did spend a good bit of her youth playing both football and handball, very competitively.

She had been in La Masia, and showed great promise as a future defender, so it really wasn’t much of a surprise to anyone involved when Elena was selected for Norway’s U16 camp, despite the fact that she was only fourteen.

And though both Ingrid and Mapi were excited (once a certain Spaniard got over being butthurt that it wasn’t Spain who had come calling), they left the ultimate decision up to Elena on whether or not she wanted to go.

“Mi sol, at the end of the day the choice is yours. You are allowed to do whatever you would like, your Mama and I would always support that,” Mapi reassured gently, and Elena nodded her head slowly, but she still looked rather unsure.

“Thank you Mami, I appreciate it, I really do. I just…is there any way I could have a minute before I decide?” The teenager asked gently, and her mother nodded easily.

“Take all the time you need, there is no rush,” Mapi promised, squeezing her daughter's shoulder gently before the girl slipped away. But instead of heading for her room as the Spaniard expected her to, she headed for the balcony instead.

Elena pulled out her phone carefully from her pocket as she shut the door behind her, staring at it for a few moments before clicking open to her contacts. She hit dial before holding it up to her ear, listening to the line ring before it clicked, signifying that her godmother had picked up the phone

“Elena, pequeña! What have I done to deserve a phone call from my favorite goddaughter?” Alexia practically yelled into the phone, not exactly helping the argument that she ‘wasn’t old’ and ‘understood technology completely.’ The girl rolled her eyes at her godmother's antics, even if she knew to expect them.

“Tia, I am your ONLY goddaughter,” Elena reminded her, but there was a smile on her face regardless.

“Ah semantics semantics! What is up pequeña, how are you?” Alexia asked, her voice a little more soft and gentle now. It wasn’t exactly a common occurrence for the green eyed girl to call the blonde like this out of the blue, so the former Barcelona captain made sure to seem extra attentive.

“Oh I’m good,” Elena said carefully, before she went quiet. Alexia didn’t respond, sensing that there was more the younger girl wanted to say.

“I got invited to a U16 camp, with Norway,” she finally forced out quietly, bracing herself for the former Barcelona captain to gasp, to scream, to get all excited. She had been preparing herself for Alexia to lose her mind, to be so excited that she wouldn’t even listen to Elena’s concerns.

But it never came.

“You don’t sound excited pequeña,” Alexia commented lightly, her tone filled with more protectiveness than excitement, and no judgment whatsoever. As much as Alexia wanted her goddaughter to be a footballer, same as her mothers, she cared far more about her well-being than anything else as trivial as her career.

Elena sighed, fiddling with the hem of her shirt as she tried to organize her thoughts appropriately, in a way that was understandable.

“I am excited, but I’m also…I don’t know. I’m not even sure if I want to be a footballer, is it silly of me to consider even going?” Elena asked, her insecurity poking through in her tone.

“Oh course you can still go, even if you are not sure. There is no requirement, it is not a contract that states that if you go now, you are obligated to become a footballer,” Alexia reminded gently. Her words were soft, and Elena clung to how secure her tone was, as though she held all of the answers to every problem the teenager had ever had.

It was one thing for her mothers to tell her, but for Alexia to? It was somehow better, hearing it from her mouth. As biased as Alexia was, because she loved her, she had always been honest with Elena too.

“Yes but…well there are people like you who are or were SO sure of what they want to do, and would I be taking up someone else’s spot by committing when I’m not even sure football is what I want to do? I love it, I know I do, but I’m just not sure that it’s what I want for the rest of my life,” Elena explained, and it was not a new thought in her mind but it was still hard to say, because she’d never spoken the thought aloud to someone. Not even her mothers, who were inside the living room trying very hard to pretend like they weren’t eavesdropping on the entire conversation.

Mapi was practically sitting on Ingrid’s lap, she was leaning so far over her wife as she angled her body and ears toward the balcony, even if she couldn’t hear much with the door being closed.

“Elena, for as many people who are sure, there are a hundred more who are not. You are fourteen, you are not supposed to have everything figured out right now. Look at people like Salma, she couldn’t decide until she was practically eighty years old what sport she wanted to do!” Alexia exclaimed, and even though Salma had picked her sport at nineteen and not eighty, it still managed to elicit a small laugh from her goddaughter.

“You deserve to be there, that is why they called you up! This is a chance for you to go and see if you like it. That’s what youth team camps are all about,” Alexia insisted, and there was a pause on the line before the teenager spoke again.

“But also…what if they don’t like me Alexia? What if I am not Norwegian enough for them, or not good enough at football, or I’m weird and young and I don’t make any friends?” Elena said all in a rush, dumping out the bucket of her worries to be sifted through by her ever loving godmother.

“Oh Elena. They are going to LOVE you, because you are kind and considerate and compassionate. The rest of it isn’t important, you just need to go in there and be kind and you will make friends, I promise. And hey, who knows, some of the girls there might be international as well! Some of your mothers old teammates have children, many of whom were all raised in different countries,” Alexia rattled patiently, remembering acutely how worried she had been when she had begun to be called up to national team camps. She tries her hardest to tell Elena what she needed to be told when she was a young girl, with nobody to give her this advice first hand.

“I remember when I was younger, god I was a disaster at youth team camps! I was so awkward and shy, but the girls were still always so nice and welcoming, I didn’t have much time to feel self conscious about it,” the midfielder remembered fondly, chuckling to herself as she thought back on the memory.

Oh, if only I had managed to grow out of my social anxiety as I got older, she thought wryly, before focusing back on the conversation.

“And hey, at the worst? It’s only two weeks. Two weeks of just giving it a try, and then at least you can say that you did it. If you don’t like it, nobody will force you to go back,” Alexia promised.

“And you’d still…still be proud of me? Even if I hated it and never wanted to play football again because it was so terrible?” Elena asked quietly, her voice soft.

“Elena, I would be proud of you if you went on to win the Ballon d’Or, or if you never touched a football again in your entire life. I will always be proud of you, no matter what you do. But for the record, I don’t think it’s going to be that bad, but even if it went terribly, I will still love you,” Alexia insisted, and it’s the truth. Years later, when Elena graduates from medical school, it will be Alexia who skips the Ballon d’Or ceremony that she had been invited to present at, in order to sit in the front row with Mapi and Ingrid’s family, screaming when her goddaughter walked across the stage to receive her degree.

But for now, she is content to love the teenager in whatever way she needs, including when she is just trying to figure out what she wants to do in life.

“Thank you Alexia. I love you,” Elena whispered, her throat suddenly tight with how grateful she is to have her godmother in her life.

To the rest of the world, Alexia might be the terrifying former Barcelona captain, one of the best players of their generation, but to Elena? She had always been the woman whose face lit up when she walked in the room, the woman who adored spending time with her and reading stories and gave her the best hugs.

“I love you too pequeña, always,” Alexia insists, wishing her goddaughter goodnight before they hung up the phone.

With a renewed sense of sureness, Elena marched back inside with determination and right over to where her mothers were sitting together on the couch, pressed up against one another as they tried to pretend that they weren’t entirely focused on the balcony.

The dark haired teenager raised her eyebrow slightly at the upside down crossword Mapi was pretending to complete and the fact that Ingrid was staring at her wife like she was trying to memorize the silhouette of her face despite the fact that they spent every single day together. She knew they were just doing their best, and that they were both far too nosy for their own good.

“I would like to go to the youth camp,” she declared, and both Ingrid and Mapi smiled brightly at their daughter as they nodded their agreement, happy to see that she was so sure of herself.

—

Ingrid had flown out to Oslo with Elena, but she only stayed long enough to drop her off at the hotel and check her in with the staff members. The players were going directly to training, where parents really weren’t supposed to go, and Ingrid hadn’t really planned to spend a whole ton of time around unless Elena needed her to, for some reason.

It wasn’t the first time Elena had said goodbye to her mother before they separated for something like this, but it did feel weird to know that she wouldn’t see either of her parents for a whole two weeks.

She clings to the Norwegian for a hair too long, her grip tighter than it’s been in awhile. She feels young again, much younger than she actually is. Luckily, Ingrid’s love is readily available, and she doesn’t comment on her daughter's slightly desperate grip.

“You’re going to be just fine, Elena. I love you, you call me if you need anything okay? Your Mami and I will call you once a day at least but if you need us more than that we are only a phone call away. And we can always hop on a flight if you need us!” Ingrid rambled, knowing that when she stopped talking she would have to leave.

“I will be okay Mama. I’ll be sure to call you and Mami a lot to tell you about everything. I love you!” Elena called out as she finally forced herself away, leaving with one of the trainers to get settled in her hotel room before training commenced in a bit.

She got her stuff settled in the room, noticing that another girl had already placed her luggage on the opposite side of the room. The green eyed girl wondered briefly who her roommate would be, but she didn’t have much time to think on it when someone came to get her for training.

She was one of the last to arrive, and therefore by the time she had arrived out to the pitch, all of the girls were starting to warm up.

Most of the girls are older than she is, standing in groups as they all laughed and chatted in a variety of languages. Elena was generally a pretty outgoing person in most circumstances, but this admittedly made her more nervous than usual.

A lot of the girls seemed to already have groups of friends, and seemed older than her. It felt awkward to go up and introduce herself to these random people who already had a set friend group.

She could see Frida and Emma’s daughter Kajsa in a group with a few other girls. Her mother had told her that Kajsa would be there, but the two didn’t know one another, because Kajsa was nearly two years older than she was.

She noticed a few of the girls were standing by themselves off to the side, and she surveyed them quickly to determine who to walk up to. Most of them looked pretty focused, staring intently at the ball they were working with, clearly deep within their thoughts.

She clocked Valeria, Marta and Caro’s daughter, but the look on her face is dark and filled with a determination that offsets Elena from feeling willing to go up to her.

When she turned to her right, there was a girl who looked to be a little younger than the rest, much like herself, who was juggling the ball off to the side of the group. She had light brown, almost mousy hair, and unlike the other girls who were by themselves, she had a bright smile as she looked down at the ball.

She actually looked like she was having fun, and Elena isn’t entirely sure what makes her feet start moving, but all the sudden she’s standing right in front of her, clearing her throat and greeting the girl.

“Hi,” Elena said softly as she walked over, a wash of nerves. The girl looked up at her in surprise, her mouth forming a little “o” as she stared back at the other girl. The ball fell listlessly at her feet, and she offered a slightly shy smile of her own back.

“Hey,” she replied, her voice soft and calm. She seemed quite nervous, her outward behavior a direct reflection of what Elena was feeling on the inside.

“I’m Elena,” the teenager introduced, and the girl seemed to perk up slightly. She seemed very shy, and if there was one thing the green eyed girl was good at, it was getting introverts out of their shell.

“My name is Kaia,” she echoed Elena’s greeting, and the Barcelona native couldn’t help the grin that broke out onto her face at the flush that was peaking through Kaia’s cheeks.

The taller girl's accent was strange, no matter what language she spoke. Her Norwegian was accented, and so was her English, and Elena couldn’t put her finger on it until they were hanging out in their room later that night.

The two had been selected to room together for the two weeks, so it really was serendipitous that Elena had chosen to go up to Kaia as opposed to any of the other girls who were by themselves.

They were sitting in their respective beds in their hotel room later that night, when the taller girl turned toward Elena with an air of nerves around her.

“Is it okay if I call my mums?” She asked, and the Spanish Norwegian immediately furrowed her brows. Kaia clearly takes it as being more malicious and less as the confusion it really is, as the dark haired girl tried to figure out if what she had said was the truth. Kaia had experienced plenty of teasing in her youth from her peers about her two mothers, and she immediately draws back in on herself as a result.

“Yeah I…I have two mums,” she said softly, but the confusion shifted to her when Elena smiled brightly at her sentence.

“Me too!” She exclaimed, and Kaia’s mouth flopped open, her reservations fleeing her with the drop of a hat practically.

“Really?!” The taller girl asked in amazement, her whole face lighting up in relief. She didn’t often meet many others who could say this.

“Yeah, I do! They used to play on the same football team together, that’s where they met,” Elena explained, and once again Kaia looked at her new friend in complete surprise.

“That’s exactly what happened with my mums too! Do you want to meet them?” Kaia asked earnestly, and Elena nodded before she bounded over to the other bed, stuffing her smaller body close next to Kaia’s as the girl FaceTimed her mothers.

“Hello darling!” Elena recognized Fran Kirby by both her appearance and accent in half a second, understanding settling over her. She remembered her mother telling her that Maren and Fran had a daughter her age, but she didn’t know that Kaia would be here.

Suddenly, Kaia’s English accented Norwegian, and Norwegian accented English were starting to make sense. The accents made sense when she could place exactly where they had come from.

“Mum, this is my friend Elena,” Kaia introduced, and the dark haired girl watched in amusement as Maren poked her head into the camera frame as well, a big smile on her face.

“You’re Ingrid and Mapi’s daughter, right?” Maren asked kindly, and Elena nodded eagerly, waving hello to the older woman she had met several times.

“You guys have met each other before, but only when you were babies!” Fran recalled, a statement Maren agreed with readily.

Ingrid is equally as excited about Elena’s befriending of Kaia when they call her and Mapi right after, the two girls regaling their day at training in long detail.

Okay, it’s a lot of Elena talking in long tangents as Kaia listens patiently, adding in a few details here and there. But the older girl seems completely content to listen to Elena speak, capturing every small detail and little moment.

For the two weeks they are at camp, the fourteen and fifteen year old are entirely inseparable. They eat together, train together, and when one of them gets lonely, they crawl into the other's bed to hang out and talk far past when they were supposed to go to bed (neither of them are aware that when they are older, they’ll spend every single night like that, together).

Kaia followed Elena around almost like a lost puppy, and the dark haired girl happily drug her everywhere she went. It was easy for Elena to pull Kaia out of her shell, natural really, and they clearly fit together really well.

It’s clear to anyone with eyeballs that Kaia has a crush on Elena, but neither of them are quite old enough to pick up on it. All they know is that they both loved spending time with one another, although neither of them realized just how much until later in life.

But as relationships usually are when you are young, when the two girls leave camp, despite having exchanged phone numbers, they fall out of touch with one another. Kaia lives in England, and Elena still lives in Barcelona, and the opportunities for them to see one another in person are rare.

They still follow one another through social media, and the occasional texting conversation. When Kaia gets her first Lioness call up at just 17, Elena is one of the first people to text her congratulations. And when Elena graduates high school, Kaia of course texts her to congratulate her as well, thrilled for her friend.

But nothing feels quite the same as when they were younger, and Elena tried to accept that. She tried to move on, unsure of why she was so stuck on some two week friendship that, in the grand scheme of things, shouldn’t really have meant anything.

Or would it?

Luckily, their distance wasn’t something she’d have to accept for forever.

—

Elena had just gotten out of one of her university classes when she felt her phone buzzing in her pocket, and she reached down to fish it out.

The dark haired girl couldn’t stop the shock she felt traveling through her when she saw the name on her phone, and the contact pictured attached, signaling who was calling her.

It was an old photo, one from four years ago in fact, and it felt like a time capsule, pulling the green eyed girl back to a time of football camps and giggling under the covers with one of the funniest people she had ever met. A time of spending two weeks attached at the hip with a shy girl who blushed when she held her hand to drag her toward the gym, who always passed her the ball even though she clearly wasn’t the best player at camp.

She stared at Kaia’s picture for so long she almost forgot to accept the phone call, and she scrambled to do so before the ringing ceased.

“Kaia?” She asks into her phone almost breathlessly, despite the fact that she’s standing still. Her heart is pounding in her chest, and she’s not entirely sure why. Her and Kaia haven’t spoken really since they were fourteen and fifteen, and they were eighteen and nineteen now.

It was too long for her reaction to be this visceral, but it still is, for some reason. She can’t explain it, she doesn’t want it to ever go away, though.

“Hi Elena,” Kaia says softly, and her voice is lower and more mature, but it’s still Kaia. It warms Elena’s heart immensely, and she smiles despite the fact that the English footballer can’t see her.

“How are you?” The dark haired girl asked, genuinely curious. She could have picked up the phone and called, she knew that, but for some reason she hadn’t.

It felt even more strange for Kaia to be calling. Shy, quiet, sometimes awkward Kaia, who sometimes people thought was mean, but Elena knew it was really just that she spent far too much time in her own head.

Although, she didn’t look all that awkward when she was on a football pitch, scoring goals like she was born to be a nine. She was brilliant, if a bit inexperienced.

“I’m, I’m good. Really good actually. But I, well, I need your help with something,” Kaia explained quickly, and Elena raised her brow but asked what the striker needed all the same.

“You spent last summer in Sweden right?” Kaia asked, and when Elena confirmed it, she continued. The green eyed girl had gone to spend the summer with Frido, and even Ingrid and Mapi had come for a few weeks on holiday as well. “I’m going on loan to Hammarby for the season to get some more experience, and I was hoping you had any some tips on how to get around, or your favorite spots. Or any of the slang they’re using nowadays, it’s been an embarrassingly long amount of time since I’ve been back to Norway, and the only Norwegian I’m speaking nowadays is with Mom,” she revealed, and Elena felt her heart flutter in her chest.

If she were thinking about it logically, it would be a little suspicious. Plenty of the girls who they played with in the youth teams were actually playing in Sweden, and probably knew much better than Elena did from just a summer spent with Frido in the countryside.

And there was always the fact that her mother probably knew dozens of Swedes, who again would know better than the Barcelona based Spaniard.

But she doesn’t care, because Kaia is calling her, and suddenly she has an excuse to talk to the girl who she’s been unable to get out of her head for years. She hadn’t realized until an embarrassingly long amount of time after the fact that it was a crush she had on Kaia back then, but as soon as she had realized she had been unable to let that go.

Would things have been different, if they had stayed in touch afterward? She wasn’t entirely sure, but it didn’t matter. Maybe they could be friends now, if nothing else.

Even if it isn’t going to turn into anything, she’d rather have a tiny bit of Kaia than nothing at all. She doubted Kaia would ever feel the same about her, and how could she? Sweet, brilliant, talented, soon to be famous Kaia, who would never fall for the university student who had little interest in the fame and money that football wanted.

(Oh, if only she knew that Kaia wanted every single part of her, wholly, completely. She always had, even when they were kids.)

—

Elena rolled over in her sleep, and unlike usual, there was an object blocking her from doing so fully.

An object that smelled like jasmine and everything safe in the world, and the dark haired woman instantly turned to burrow into it, clinging tightly to the woman in her bed.

Strong arms pulled her in tightly, and she blinked her eyes open sleepily to find that Kaia was smiling down at her, before the hazel eyed woman held her face gently in her hands, leaning forward to press a resounding kiss to her forehead.

“Good morning,” she said softly, before she moved to bring Elena further into her, pressing their bodies together as she had longed to do for what felt like years. The smaller woman allowed her body to be moved easily, wrapping her own arms around Kaia and holding her close.

“You weren’t supposed to get in until later today?” She says in lieu of a greeting, her voice raspy and soft as she allows herself to stay nestled against her girlfriend. It's been over a month since they last saw one another, with their respective busy schedules.

“I took an earlier flight. I wanted to see you sooner,” Kaia admits sheepishly, her nose twinging with pink as it gives away how clearly besotted she is. Elena’s eyebrows furrowed adorably in confusion as she leaned back to look her girlfriend in the eye, and the brunette reached forward to press her thumb to the space between her eyebrows and smoothing the crease, just because she could.

“I was asleep! That can’t be exciting enough to move your flight to get in at seven in the morning,” She protested as she looked over at the clock with a wince at how early the time was, but Kaia just let out a small laugh.

“I firmly disagree, you are completely adorable when you are asleep, and you get all clingy in the mornings. I couldn’t stand to miss another morning of it if I didn’t have to,” Kaia argues good naturedly, and Elena smiles before she presses forward, finally kissing her girlfriend for real. She loved this version of Kaia, the one that was all soft and giggly and gentle.

It was the version of her that only existed for the green eyed woman, and nobody else. And as much as Elena loved seeing her girlfriend score buckets of goals on the pitch, this would always be her favorite version of the woman.

“You don’t have to miss it anymore,” the Barcelona native whispered against her lips with excitement, and could feel the curve of Kaia’s own lips as she echoed the dark haired woman’s smile.

“Not anymore, no. I’m going in at two today to sign the contract and take photos, so you need to help me with my hair and makeup,” Kaia explained, and Elena let out a sigh of relief as she nodded, more than willing to do so.

After her one year loan spell at Hammarby, Kaia had returned back to Chelsea until she was twenty two years old, when she had made a move to Atletico Madrid for a year. All the while, she and Elena had never lost touch after that initial phone call about Kaia’s ‘Swedish questions.’

While she was at Hammarby, Elena had come to visit her several times (as much as her school schedule allowed), and the more time they had spent together the more the two had realized that what they had went far beyond the bounds of a normal friendship. By the time Kaia was set to go back to Chelsea after her loan, the two had begun dating.

Elena’s six year medical school program was in Barcelona, and when Kaia went to move clubs to Spain when she was 22, the only offer closer than England had been for Atletico Madrid. The couple had figured that it was better than nothing, and Elena had argued that it would give the Barcelona staff a chance to see how brilliant the English player was.

And sure enough, she was right, because it was not more than a few months into her contract that they reached out, asking to sign the Lioness after the expiration of her one year contract with Atletico Madrid.

All of which led them to today, after nearly five years of dating, when Kaia signed her first Barcelona contract, which would keep her in Catalonia for the next four years.

“I love you so much,” Elena murmured as she tucked herself back into the striker, allowing herself to collapse into the sturdy arms that are wrapped around her.

The brunette deposited a resounding kiss to the crown of her girlfriends head, cuddling closer to Elena and relishing in the closeness that they never seemed to be able to get enough of.

And while they don’t know it at the time, they’ll never have to be without one another for the rest of their lives, luckily.

#ingrid engen #mapi leon #ingrid x mapi x daughter #barcelona femeni #woso #alexia putellas

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whoblewboobear · 15 hours

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There have been a lot of negative posts about how this season turned out bc of the rat grinders exclusively and everyone is entitled to their opinions on the season. But in light of it, I’m gonna throw out some positives about this season 💖

Sophomore year will always hold a special place in my heart because of the Fabian arc but Junior year might be my favorite fantasy high season overall. I loved learning about Ankarna and Cassandra. I thought I’d be bummed out not seeing some of my fave npcs but the downtime mechanic and the stress tokens added sO much. The Porter & Jace reveal was incredible. KRISTEN’S CAMPAIGN ARC!!! Fabian and Mazey!? K2 and all the blimey shenanigans 👏 Everything with Wanda Childa and Ruben and fig’s complicated women podcast was sooooo funny. I genuinely laughed harder this season than I have with any other d20 season I’ve seen.

I feel like with this season they really hit their stride with pacing too. It felt a lot more fluid with how we rolled into combat most of the time. I loved that first party of the year and seeing Adaine become the party wizard. After ep 18 it makes me love the party with the Oisin missing his shots so much more bc he got in that nasty little one liner later. I adored that the rat grinders were essentially a red herring to keep the bad kids looking elsewhere to take the heat off Porter and Jace a bit.

We didn’t see much from all of them, and we didn’t see nearly enough about Lucy, but I really loved the Rat grinders as in school rivals for the bad kids. Ruben was hands down my favorite but goddamn did I also love how much of a girlfailure Kip was. I loved seeing her rage out and I hope we get to see her really go nuts in the finale too. I really really warmed up to Mary Ann last episode with her tugging on Jace’s shirt and saying she didn’t feel good and then seeing her rage when her strawberry got destroyed. She’s so fascinating to meeee. I loved everything with Buddy and Kristen. I wish they had more scenes together. And while I’m talking about the Dawns, that entrance from Bobby Dawn as the new cleric teacher made my skin crawl in the best way. I loved Kristen calling him frumpy and sad on her teacher evaluation too- and holy shit Fig meeting Ankarna for the first time? Ankarna being the inspiration Fig needed to make music again too?

The incredible art from Cait May this season was hands down one of my FAVORITE d20 artist collabs ever. Just overall improved designs for everyone that just make so much more sense for their characters and art for new characters that made me adore them even more. Also holy shit the Porter maxi is genuinely my favorite mini that’s ever been featured on the show. I’m typically not into how the minis look in general, they always look a lil goofy to me but goddamn when they hit, they fuckin HIT.

And speaking of Porter, I really got endeared to him this season. Yeah he turned out evil and always has been a dick to gorgug and is definitely a shit teacher, but before the reveal I loved his training with Fig and Zara. One thing about Fantasy high is that I just love a lot of the teachers. My two faves this season being Terpsichore and Henry! They’re both so dedicated to their students and are such a specific type of teacher that you’ve definitely met before in real life. Like all my favorite math teachers back in school were so much like Henry and that made me love him even more.

Of course my #1 favorite thing about the world of Spyre is the religion aspect and how Brennan and Ally both approach it. That scene with Ally connecting with Yolanda and Lucy to allow them some comfort in the afterlife was so beautiful. Kristen’s talks with Bucky throughout the season were very touching and hit very close to home as someone that grew up in a religious household and doesn’t connect with the divinity I was raised on. Just- wow wow wow. I also really love that despite the breakup, Tracker and Kristen still have really interesting convos about divinity even if they don’t agree.

I loved seeing different dynamics in the bad kids too, I love the huge sibling energy that Fabian and Adaine have and the bond that Kristen and Fig have. I love how interwoven all the bad kids feel as a group. I love the little quirks that they all have, and I loved all the fandom posts about them like the sharing clothes posts and the one about how everyone lets Riz crawl on them to get better vantage points. I love Riz’s wall of text breaking down to gorgug about how much he appreciates him. Him calling gorgug a sweetie almost made me cry. I of course love all the parent/child moments this season. I loved the bad kids finally healing Lydia and seeing how happy it made Ragh. I LOVE Aelwyn and all her cats 🤧 I loved seeing Baron again and I loved how the bad kids got to the funhouse version of mordred through riz’s briefcase. I love seeing Adaine and Sandralynn bond. I loved finding out that Sandralynn and Sklonda go out for drinks and are friends. I just 💖 and goddamn, Ayda’s message to Fig and how Zara helped to surprise Fig with it. I love how Bill and Pok are such proud dads of their boys and I hope they’re doing some bonding over drinks in the after life.

And I cannot end this post without saying that I loved how cinematic this season felt too. It had INCREDIBLE imagery that you could easily visualize. Everyone at the table was in their element this time around from a role playing and a strategic standpoint. Everyone had their moment to shine and something important to do this season that fed back into the main plot. So thank you to Brennan and the intrepid heroes for giving us another killer season. After the season ended I was planning to finish Starstruck and Neverafter but I might just rewatch Junior year all over again just to get it out of my system.

Feel free to add things you loved about Junior year!

#dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #d20 fhjy #fhjy

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nyazhis-jsablr · 23 hours

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Battle of the Blixers - Finale Results

“Welcome to the final post of the Battle of the Blixers! I’m your host Step, and it was a very fun and intense competition thus far!”

“It was very fun seeing every submission, as well as how the contest played out! I will definitely miss doing this.

“But that aside, the end is now upon us, and with that, let’s see who won this entire thing!”

PLACEMENT POINTS

“So first off, we have the placement points! These points will be awarded to the competitors based on their placement on the podium at the end of C5!”

“And here they are!”

“Welp, it’s how it always was! Blixter & Eclipses in the top two, with everyone else fighting for 3rd, in this case, the other Blixter!” “In any case, let’s head to Category 2!”

ABSTRUSE DECIPHER POINTS

“This is the prize for guessing the song correctly!”

“Blixer Eclipses got the song correctly, so he’s getting 3 extra points!”

AUDIENCE VOTE

“Now, we have the audience vote! We already saw the outcome, with Blixter winning over the audience yet again! Let’s award everyone’s points now!”

JURY VOTE

“Now for the jury vote! The way this works is that the jury lists the entries from 1-3, their least favorite being 1 and most favorite being 3. Afterwards, I tally up the results and get the final number!”

“Before I reveal the points though, here’s a statement from the one and only Blixer Kunzite! literally hes the only one that voted during the voting period”

JSABAddict’s submission:

“What a very interesting fight! Didn’t expect such a…brute, to have skillful moves like that. I’d say this one caught my eye, sad that they weren’t able to kill their opponent but, oh well! As for the ‘begging’, as you put it, poor reasons. I believe them when they said they joined for fun and thrill but, c’mon! What about the glory and respect you would get from winning!? Ah, apologies for the yelling. Now then, I’d say they’re in between, not the worst nor the best.”

Zim-card’s submission:

“Quite an interesting yet odd ending, in my own opinion..but nonetheless, I think they did well! But..a bit disappointed AGAIN by the fact that another square wasn’t at least damaged, MORE disappointed it ended off in good terms. The reasons for winning are well put, I have been watching from afar how they had been handling every challenge well— expect for the cooking one. I’d say this is also in between! I’ll..have to think how I’ll rank these..”

Starwlf’s submission:

“As for this one..I LOVE IT! The fact that you managed to actually defeat the player while also giving good reasons! The first time being apart of this to gain some sort of ego boost through this and showing your strength! Wonderful! Very solid reasons, along with skillful moves— other than the fact they did managed to get hurt in the face, but they proved themselves worthy, to me.”

“Well that’s that! Can’t believe nobody else was available during voting… anyways… Here’s the results!”

COMPETITOR VOTE

“And now, here’s the competitor vote, where each of the competitors voted on each other!”

“Here’s what they each have to say!”

starwlf Blixter (told thru starwlf’s perspective):

My point goes to zim’s submission. Blixter enjoys watching a good fight. And man was it delivered. And seeing such a shift to a kinder tone gave him a reminder of his own loved one. A fight against a narrative is all too familiar for him.

Blixer Eclipses:

Probably starwlf (cause in the end zim's gonna win regardless so I figured to like. barely even it out, I dunno)

zim-card Blixter:

“I gotta send a vote to starwlf. I like his determination and confidence, I can understand his stance within this whole challenge as someone new to the ring. I also find it sweet that he's willing to split the prize when he wins... I'd do the same too, honestly. Sure, I'm off put at the successful murder so hm... ah, I can't exactly be the judge of morals when the challenge did ask for a duel. My vote still stands for the fella!”

“So we got 2 votes for starwlf’s Blixter, and a vote for zim’s Blixter! Let’s convert them to points!”

STEP’S EXTRA CREDIT

“Now it’s MY turn to judge!”

“For starwlf’s Blixter, I love the intensity! And actually succeeding in defeating, good job!”

“For Blixer Eclipses, although not much hits were dealt, you put up a good fight with that amazing dodging skills! I also find it pretty funny that he kept dodging the blasts when it’s usually the other way around… heh.”

“For zim-card’s Blixter, the fight was pretty cool! But at the same time you somehow made up with your Cyan and uhhhhhhhh”

“sorry youre going below the others”

“Anyways, let’s get to the points I’m giving out!”

“And the winner of the Battle of the Blixers is……”

!!!BLIXTER!!!

Total Points:

@zim-card : 30

@jsabaddict : 29

@starwlf : 27

“Congratulations for winning, now here are your prizes!”

“Yeah, I figured that the runner-ups should receive consolation prizes, so me and Pulse just scrambled around the ‘tower’ and found these.”

“Anyways, that’s it!”

“Like I said, it was amazing holding this competition, and I hope me and everyone else had a fun time with it! Now we’re done, so so long! For the last time…

My name is Step, and this has been the Battle of the Blixers! Until then, see you!”

“So what now?”

“To be honest I have no clue. Probably gonna sleep and also watch these other universes I found. Speaking of, there’s this one cool universe I found, their Barracuda is a snake man who is extreme evil, and last I checked the you and me in it were working together!”

“Okay.”

“Oh, and their Lycanthropy was my brother? I think? Was it blood or found? I don’t remember.”

“Speaking of, I gazed into the Black Room again. I think I saw someone, but it might’ve just been me. Looked a lot like your descriptions of th……..

The two continued their talk, which if I will fill this ending segment with, Tumblr might actually crash lmfao

Anyways, sorry the ending post took so long, i suddenly got a small internship somewhere so it was a bit busy

Other than that, fun contest, yeah? It was really fun hosting it for me!! But if it wasnt fun for any of the competitors, i am genuinely really sorry and i wanna make it up to you if i can

Idk if ill do another contest, but if i will then idk when lol

I have an idea for this tho, maybe a talk-show like thing where step interviews jsab fancharacters?

BotB is gonna be my main au now cuz i gotten extremely attached to the botb gang (which is canonically only step & pulse, but the others are gonna join in if i introduce them in botb lore lol)

Sorry H*I & main au, i dont wanna play with you anymore /ref

Anyways have a good day!!!! Nyazhi out!!!!

#jsab #just shapes and beats #jsab blixer #battle of the blixers

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03jyh23 · 18 hours

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— i'm not afraid anymore || choi jongho (the fear still lingers part 2)

ex-boyfriend!idol!jongho x ex-girlfriend!single-mom!reader

synopsis: reuniting after years of being apart, you reveal to Jongho that he is the father of your four-year-old daughter

genre: angst, a slice of life, a bit of fluff

trigger warnings: unplanned pregnancy, single parenthood, financial problems mentioned, emotional conflict, intense discussions about parenthood and relationships

words: 12.8 k

reminder: what you're about to read is purely fiction, so let's keep it separate from reality.

!minors do not interact!

— hi there! so it's finally out 😭😭😭 i kept you waiting long enough, didn't i? so, i once again wrote about parenthood... i'm sure some of you expected this story to go in a whole other direction, but i still hope this is a nice surprise! i wanted to dedicate this one to @jjongbearshoney, who's been waiting for it since the first part was posted. i know it's long and i've tried to make this part shorter, but i couldn't force myself to delete any of it. i'm hopeful some of you will still choose to read this.

love, monika. ♡

if you enjoyed this post, i'd be so grateful for a little love – a like, reblog or comment would truly make my day!

you

"Mommy?" Your daughter tightened her grip on your hand as you walked home from preschool. You hummed in response, looking down at her. "Why is it just you and me?" she asked, furrowing her brow.

"What do you mean, Nari?" your daughter paused; her big eyes filled with fear. "You know you can tell Mommy everything," you added when she hesitated.

"Why don't I have a dad like my friends?" she finally asked. Your heart dropped. You knew this day would come when Nari would start comparing her family to others, but you were unprepared for the moment. You had never discussed Jongho with Nari; the last thing you wanted was for her to hate him for his absence. She had never asked before, so you had hoped that the time would never come when she would become curious about her dad. But as she grew older and started to understand the world around her, you knew that this question was inevitable.

What you did instead of talking about Jongho, you introduced Nari to ATEEZ. Since she was little, you would play their songs, and she grew up dancing in your arms to them. You two would spend time together, sitting in front of the television and watching their shows. With every episode, every song, and every interview, her admiration for the band continued to grow. It was a shared experience, one that brought you both closer together, and her love for the band grew right along with her. What made everything better was that Nari's favorite member of ATEEZ was Wooyoung. You couldn't help but think about how disappointed Jongho would be if he ever found out. His own daughter had chosen another member as her favorite. It was a thought that often brought a smile to your face.

You never once resented Jongho for choosing his music career over you. You understood that he was born to be on stage, to pour his soul into his music. Your heart was shattered when you two parted ways, but then you discovered you were pregnant with Nari. You knew then that you had to be strong and that you had to be the best mom possible for her. It was challenging, especially when she was born and bore such a striking resemblance to Jongho. It played with your emotions sometimes.

You knelt to meet her gaze. Her round face, sweet cheeks, and hazel-brown eyes each time reminded you of the man you once loved.

"Nari, your daddy is really busy," you began, unsure of how to continue the conversation. "But Mommy is sure he loves you very much," you reassured as you smoothed her hair, attempting to smile. "I know your friends' daddies are around." You tried to keep your voice steady, swallowing the lump in your throat. "Just because he's not here, doesn't mean he doesn't love you," you told her, seeking to comfort both her and you.

With a certain sadness in her eyes, she expressed her wishes, "I'd really like it if he wasn’t so busy all the time," she complained. As she pouted, a wave of empathy washed over you, causing your heart to break for her.

"I know, baby," you whispered, your voice barely audible as you fought to control the emotion threatening to overwhelm you. "Do you want me to tell you more about your daddy?" you asked softly, ready to share the stories of you two. Nari nodded, and a smile finally appeared on her pretty face. ‘’Alright so we will buy you your favorite ice cream and you can ask whatever you want, how does this sound?’’ Without uttering a word, Nari gently nodded and stretched out her hand towards you. Accepting her silent invitation, you felt the warmth of her delicate fingers in yours. As you walked hand in hand, you could see the excitement in her eyes as she pulled you in the direction of her most adored destination - her favorite local ice cream store.

Entering the store, you ordered the ice cream and chose a seat next to the window. A sense of nervousness washed over you at the thought of speaking so openly about Jongho after all those years. But you knew deep down, it was time to face it. You took a deep breath, staring out the window as you waited for your order. The streets were busy with people going about their day. The ice cream arrived, a sweet distraction, but it did nothing to quell the anxiety churning in your stomach. You picked up your spoon and took the first bite, letting the familiar taste flood your senses.

"Tell Mommy, what do you want to know?" you finally asked, breaking the silence that had fallen over the small store. You held your breath, waiting for her reply, bracing yourself for the questions that were bound to come from your curious four-year-old. Nari thought for a moment, her small brow furrowing in concentration.

"Everything," she finally said, her voice soft, eyes sparkling with curiosity. "I want to know everything." You chuckled at her response; it was moments like these that made motherhood such an incredible journey. You took her small hand in yours,

"I met your dad at a coffee shop," you started, your voice filled with nostalgia."It was a warm summer afternoon, just like today. He walked in, and when I saw him, it was as if time had stopped for that moment."

Nari was thoroughly enjoying her lemon ice cream as she continued to savor her treat, she curiously glanced over at you. She wondered if her dad also shared her love for this dessert. With a playful smile still smeared on her ice cream-covered lips, she asked, "Did he order ice cream?"

You giggled at her question, "No, I think he ordered an iced americano." You remember the day as if it was yesterday. Jongho had ordered and chose to sit at the furthest table possible. You were sitting close to the cash desk, stealing glances at him sometimes, admiring him. He was writing something in a big notebook, so engrossed that he didn't hear the barista calling him to pick up his order. So, you decided to test your luck and brought his coffee to him. As you approached him, your heart pounded in your chest. It was as though you could hear it echoing throughout the quiet café. You set the coffee down gently on his table, not wanting to disturb his concentration. Startled, he looked up and locked eyes with you. His eyes were warm and inviting, a soft 'thank you' escaping his lips. You returned the sentiment with a shy smile, not trusting yourself to say anything.

"Why would he order coffee when he could have an ice cream?" Nari asked, finding it strange that someone would choose coffee over ice cream.

"Your dad is a little bit different, Nari," you said, smiling gently. "He really loved his coffee. He said it helped him think and focus. But don't worry, he loved ice cream too. Just like you, he had a sweet tooth."

"Will Daddy buy me ice cream next time?" she asked as she was finishing her dessert.

"I'm sure he would love to," you replied, smiling at her. "One day, if he's not too busy, I'm sure he'll take you to get ice cream. Would you like that?" Nari nodded eagerly, her eyes lighting up at the prospect. Just the thought of spending a day with her dad made her heart flutter with joy. You knew what needed to happen next. You had to create an opportunity for her to meet Jongho. Even though it might hurt, Nari should meet her dad at least once. Her happiness was most important. You knew you needed to put your own feelings aside for her. This next step might be hard and painful, but as her mom, you knew it was what you should do.

"Then Mommy will make sure Daddy will take you next time," you promised, your heart aching at the hopeful look in her eyes. You would do whatever it took to give her the happiness she deserved.

On your way back home, you felt a sense of relief wash over you. This heartfelt conversation with Nari had helped clear your mind. Finally talking about the man, you loved brought you a strange sense of nostalgia, yet you also felt content. After all these years, you have finally been able to share your story, your feelings, and your past with your daughter. It was as if a burden you didn’t even know you were carrying had been lifted from your shoulders. The walk home was peaceful, the cool evening breeze brushing against your face as the last rays of the setting sun painted the sky in hues of pink and orange.

In no time, you reached your apartment complex. Nari was running around the playground with the neighbor's puppy chasing after her. She was the sweetest creature. She was fascinated by the world, loved animals, and her soul was just so pure. You felt an immense amount of happiness to be her mom.

"Grandma!" Nari exclaimed, her face lighting up with sheer joy the moment she spied her grandma approaching from a distance. Upon arrival, your mother warmly greeted Nari with a tender embrace. After a moment, they both made their way over to where you were standing. You were taken aback, surprised to see your mother in your presence without any prior notice.

With a puzzled expression, you turned towards her and asked, "Mom, why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"I wanted to see you and Nari," your mother admitted, her voice warm. You could see the sincerity in her eyes. You could feel the lump forming in your throat as you listened to her. It was a comforting reassurance, knowing you weren't alone in this. "And I hoped I would be welcomed for dinner," she said with a playful tone in her voice while gently placing Nari on the ground. A glint of laughter shone in her eyes.

"Absolutely," you responded, your smile wide and welcoming. The sincerity in your voice was enough to assure her that the invitation was genuine. You reached down and took one of Nari's small hands in yours, feeling the softness of her tiny fingers against your palm. Your mom mirrored your action, reaching for Nari's other hand, her fingers wrapping around the little one's hand with a natural gentleness. For a moment, the three of you stood there, a small, connected chain, silent and content in each other's company. Then, with Nari's laughter filling the air around you, you all began to move, making your way to your small apartment. The moment was simple, yet filled with a warmth that spoke of familiarity, of home.

You finally reached your floor and stepped into the comforting familiarity of your apartment. As the door closed behind you, a wave of relief washed over you. This was your sanctuary, your escape from the hustle and bustle of the outside world. Your apartment was small, with one room occupied by Nari, and a combined living room and kitchen where you also slept. The bathroom was big enough to fit a bathtub and a washing machine. It was far from perfect, but nobody truly knows how hard it is to be a single mom, barely making ends meet, especially when you were still so young. Sometimes, you felt ashamed of the way you lived your life, as you wanted Nari to grow up in a better place, a home with a beautiful garden and a seesaw. But you could barely afford this apartment, buying a new house was never an option. So, you took a lot of care to ensure that your apartment was always neat and clean. Every item had its own place, and there was a sense of order and tranquility that pervaded the space.

You found Nari, tired yet excited from the day's activities, eagerly awaiting your attention. With gentle hands and a warm smile, you took her to her room and helped her change into more comfortable clothes. Nari’s room was everything she had ever dreamed of. It was her own little wonderland that mirrored her innocent dreams and youthful enthusiasm. All her favorite toys were thoughtfully displayed around the room, adding to its charm and making it a truly magical place for her. The toys ranged from dolls to action figures, to stuffed animals, each one with its own special place in Nari’s heart. The most striking feature of the room was her small bed, adorned with a beautiful canopy. This bed was more than just a place for her to rest; it was her castle, her secret hideout. It was here that Nari would sleep like a real princess, after a day full of adventures and playful activities. Guarding her while she slept were her loyal teddy bears. These soft and cuddly guardians were always there by her side, watching over her. They were not just toys, but her friends, and protectors. Nari even made you print out a picture of Wooyoung, which she lovingly framed and placed on her tiny desk. It became her most prized possession. Every detail in the room reflected Nari’s personality and vivid imagination, making it a perfect haven for her.

As Nari settled down, you decided to play her favorite Disney movie. The familiar tunes filled the room, and Nari's eyes lit up at the sight of her beloved characters. While Nari was engrossed in her movie, you made your way to the kitchen. Your mom has already started preparing your meal. The sight of her working her magic in the kitchen, coupled with the tantalizing smells, made your stomach rumble in anticipation.

"So, Nari asked about her dad today," you started, your voice barely above a whisper. As the words left your mouth, your mother froze in her place. Her eyes met yours, a mix of surprise and concern in her gaze. The room fell silent, the only sound being the sizzle from the pan on the stove. "Mom, I feel lost. I don't know what to do," you confessed, your voice trembling with uncertainty.

"Do you want them to meet, honey?" your mom asked. Her gaze was steady, her eyes never leaving yours. She was searching for an answer, not just in your words, but also in your expression. There was a hint of concern in her voice which was understandable. After all, it was a significant moment, a decision that could change the dynamics of everything. You hesitated for a moment, weighing the possibilities in your mind. You could feel your mom's expectant gaze on you, and it somehow made the decision harder.

After what felt like an eternity, you finally spoke. "Yes, mom. I want them to meet." Your voice was firm, but inside, you were bracing yourself for the changes that were about to come. Your worlds were about to collide, your secrets were about to unravel, and you could only hope that in the end, everything would fall into place. "But I don't want him to know that Nari is his," you admitted shyly. There was a moment of silence as you pondered over your words.

"Honey, I know you might be scared, but I believe it's high time he found out the truth," she said, her voice softer now, yet resolute and unwavering. She cast a glance down at her hands, her fingers intertwined, and when she looked up at you again, there was a raw determination in her eyes that you hadn't seen before. "He needs to know that he has a daughter. That he's a father. It's not just about you anymore, it's also about Nari. She will be 4 soon and deserves to know her father. It's time for you to step up and let him in on the reality of his situation."

"I'm not going to tell him, Mom," you replied firmly, your resolve clear in your tone. "I wouldn't risk Jongho's career like that," you said, speaking more to yourself than your mother. "I was prepared to spend a lifetime without him knowing the truth." Despite the fear and uncertainty, a sense of resolve washed over you. Your mom sighed heavily; you know it wasn’t the response she wanted to hear.

"Even if you somehow end up meeting him, do you think he's stupid?" she asked abruptly. Her question was unexpected, and it caught you off guard.

"What do you mean?" you responded, taken aback by the sudden change in her tone and line of questioning.

"One look at Nari, and he's going to know the truth!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with conviction. "Nari looks exactly like him!" your mom slightly raised her voice. "I have never seen Jongho with my own eyes, but even if my judgment is based only on how he looks on TV… Honey, her eyes, her smile... they are all his," she continued, the room fell silent, you were lost in your own thoughts. You knew that the resemblance was not just physical, Nari had also inherited his mannerisms and charisma.

"I... I hadn't thought of that," you admitted, feeling a sudden knot tighten in your stomach. The realization that Jongho could easily figure out the truth was alarming. "I'll figure something out, Mom. I promise." You said, trying to reassure her despite the sinking feeling in your chest.

"If you don't have his phone number, maybe you should contact his company?" your mother suggested, her voice filled with concern. You stared at her, aghast at her suggestion.

"Mom, are you crazy? That's the last thing I'd want to do," you retorted, shaking your head at the absurdity of the idea.

Your mother's eyebrows rose in surprise at your response. "Well, I was just trying to help," she said, a hint of hurt in her voice.

You sighed, regretting your harsh words. "I know, Mom. I'm sorry. It's just... complicated," you admitted, rubbing your temples. The last thing you wanted was to involve his company in this matter.

"Let's just try to find another way, okay?" you suggested, hoping to steer the conversation toward a more productive direction. You focused on the task at hand, the act of cooking providing a much-needed distraction from the whirlpool of thoughts threatening to consume you. Each chop and stir was mechanical, your mind elsewhere. You were desperate to find a way to let Nari meet Jongho but figuring out how to do that without jeopardizing his career or causing a scandal was proving to be more difficult than you had initially anticipated.

After dinner, you helped Nari with her bedtime routine. Meanwhile, your mom was busy cleaning up after dinner. While assisting Nari, you could hear running water from the kitchen and clinking dishes being put away. With Nari finally tucked in, you joined your mom in the kitchen to lend a hand. The teamwork made the task lighter, and the kitchen was soon spotless.

"Take her to his concert, you could buy a VIP ticket so you two could meet him." your mom suddenly broke the silence between you two. You looked up at her in surprise. A concert? The idea was so far-fetched that you couldn't help but laugh. But as you glanced at your mother, you realized she was serious. "Think about it. She gets to see her dad and you don’t have to say anything," she suggested, the idea not sounding as ridiculous now. It might work. And then, you could see how he reacts to Nari. If he shows any sign of recognition, you could consider telling him the truth. Yes, it might just work."Besides, we know how much she loves her 'Uncle' Wooyoung, and I'm sure she would be so happy to go and see him live," your mom added.

"That idea isn't bad, Mom, but do you know how expensive the tickets are? There's no way I can afford two," you replied, worry evident in your voice. Concert tickets, especially for a band as popular as ATEEZ, could be incredibly pricey. You were doing your best to provide for Nari, but luxuries like concert tickets were simply out of your reach.

"What if I will get you the tickets?" your mom asked. You stared at her, shocked by her proposition. Your mom rarely splurged on anything, always preferring to save for a rainy day. Seeing your surprise, she laughed. "I know it seems out of character for me, but I want to do this for you and Nari. I want her to have this experience, and maybe it will lead to something more." She gave you a hopeful smile, her eyes filled with love and determination.

"Mom, I can't ask you for so much…" you protested, feeling a pang of guilt at the thought of your mother paying for the tickets. "It's too much." But your mom was already shaking her head, cutting off your protest.

"This isn't about money, it's about Nari," she said firmly. "And if this gives her a chance to meet her father, then it's worth every penny." You could see the determination in her eyes, and you knew there was no point in arguing. She had made up her mind, and when she did, there was no changing it.

"Okay," you finally agreed, knowing that this was the best chance Nari had to meet Jongho. "Thank you, Mom." She simply nodded, her eyes filled with a mix of relief and satisfaction. You realized then that despite everything, your mom was still looking out for you. She was still willing to do anything to make sure you and Nari were happy. Your heart pounded in your chest as you took your phone in your hands, searching for ATEEZ events. You scrolled through the results, your eyes skimming the details. Suddenly, one specific event caught your attention. It was a free event, happening in just two days. You gasped, your eyes widening in surprise. A free event?

"Mom? I think we hit a jackpot," you smiled, as you showed your mom your phone.

"A free event?" she exclaimed, happily clapping her hands. You were taken aback by her reaction but couldn't help but share in her excitement. You hugged her tightly, her happiness radiating onto you. You picked up your phone once again, and quickly booked the free tickets. With a deep sigh, you turned to your mother, gently taking her hands in yours.

"I'm going to see him, Mom," you whispered softly. The words hung heavy in the air, a mix of fear, anticipation, and longing. It was as if all the pent-up emotions you had been holding back came flooding out at that moment. Tears finally began to stream down your face, unabashed and unhindered. They traced wet tracks on your cheeks, a poignant testament to the heartfelt emotions you were experiencing. It was a cathartic release that revealed your true feelings. Your heart ached with a desperate longing, a yearning that had been simmering underneath the surface all this time. The lump in your throat eased, replaced with a strange sense of tranquility. All the nervousness, the apprehension that had been your constant companion, seemed to have evaporated. It was as if acknowledging your feelings had liberated you from their hold, allowing you to finally breathe. The realization hit you then, sudden and profound. You were going to see Jongho, the man you had loved with all your heart, once more. The thought brought a twinge of excitement, a dash of fear, and a whole lot of love. It was a second chance, a final goodbye, a moment you knew you would remember for the rest of your life.

Two days have passed like two hours. It felt like you had just blinked and suddenly, you were standing with Nari, hand in hand, in a line buzzing with anticipation. You were nervous, your heart pounding in your chest. Nari, on the other hand, was brimming with excitement. She was bubbling with joy at the prospect of seeing her 'Uncle' Wooyoung, blissfully unaware of the real reason you were both there. The line moved forward gradually and with each step, your heart pounded harder. You glanced at Nari, who was chatting away excitedly about all the fun things she'd do with Wooyoung. Her innocence and cheerfulness were infectious, easing your nerves slightly. As you got closer to the front of the line, you could see ATEEZ up ahead, their warm smiles greeting each fan.

And then you saw Jongho, being the second to last, signing an album and holding a fan's hand while he did so. His focus was entirely on the task at hand, his brows slightly furrowed in concentration. He would occasionally look up to make eye contact with the fan, offering them a warm smile. It was as though your world had stopped. Your breath caught in your throat, your heart pounding as if it were trying to escape from your chest. It had been almost five years since you last saw him. He had changed - his face was more mature, his eyes held a deeper wisdom, and the lines of his smile seemed to tell stories you weren't a part of. Yet, amidst all the changes, he was still the same Jongho you remembered, the same Jongho you had fallen for. The distance and the years that had passed had not made your heart forget. The sight of him brought back a flood of memories, some sweet, some bitter, but all precious. Standing there, seeing him after all this time, you realized – you were not afraid anymore. You were ready to face him, ready to face the past.

When it was finally your turn, you gently nudged Nari forward. Her face lit up when she saw Wooyoung. She quickly seated herself in a chair across from the table where he was sitting. Then, she stood on the chair, stepped onto the table, and her hands swiftly found their way around Wooyoung's neck. Wooyoung was startled at first, taken aback by Nari's sudden, enthusiastic hug. You were shocked too, having no time to react to Nari's swift actions. But your breath hitched when Wooyoung recovered from his initial surprise and smiled, hugging Nari back. The atmosphere quickly filled with warmth as Wooyoung returned Nari's hug with equal affection. The surprise on his face was replaced by a soft smile, his arms wrapping around her in a comforting embrace. You watched this heartfelt moment unfold, your heart fluttering in your chest. The shock from earlier had completely dissipated, replaced by a sense of relief and happiness. It was clear to you that despite the abruptness of Nari's actions, Wooyoung was happy to hug her back.

"Hi there, little one," he greeted with a warm smile on his face.

"Uncle Wooyoung!" Nari responded kindly, her laughter tinkling in the air as she beamed back at him. The sight was enough to melt your heart. However, your moment of joy was short-lived as you noticed the stern look from the security guard. His gaze was fixed on your daughter, clearly annoyed with her actions. Although you understood his perspective, it was hard to stop a child from being excited in such moments. You quickly intervened, trying to maintain the peace. You gently took Nari from Wooyoung's warm embrace and brought her back to her chair. She pouted a little, clearly not happy about being moved away from her favorite person.

"I'm sorry," you apologized, turning to face Wooyoung. Wooyoung simply shook his head and laughed, clearly not bothered by what had just happened.

"It's okay," he said, his voice filled with understanding. You handed him the album that you had brought along, as he took it from your hands to sign it, Nari put her small hand on top of Wooyoung’s.

"My name is Nari," she said, a soft yet firm assertion that hung in the air between them. Her gaze was unwavering, locked onto his face as if searching for something within him, something perhaps only she could see. After signing the album, Wooyoung handed it back to you.

"It was nice to meet you, Nari," he said, a genuine smile as he gently patted Nari's hair.

"Nari, it's time to go," you softly announced, lifting the small girl into your arms, there were still other members of the band you had yet to meet. Nari, however, was not so ready to move on. She pouted adorably; her full attention still fixed on Wooyoung.

"I love you, Uncle Wooyoung," she declared, her innocent eyes wide and shimmering with admiration. Every word she spoke was filled with the pure, unfiltered affection that only a child could muster. Wooyoung, for his part, responded with an equal measure of warmth. His eyes softened at her words, a tender smile playing at the corners of his lips. He cooed at her cuteness; his heart clearly touched by her innocent proclamation.

"I love you too, Nari," he replied, his voice filled with genuine affection. He waved back at her, his smile never faltering even as the next fan made their approach. As you moved away, you felt a sense of anticipation bubbling up within you. You were ready to introduce Nari to the rest of the band, ready to create more beautiful memories. Nari was thrilled to meet the other band members. Perhaps not as much as she was when she met Wooyoung, but she still charmed each and every one of them with her delightful spirit. Seonghwa, Mingi, Yunho, Yeosang, and San were all absolutely enchanted by their little fan, their hearts melting at the sight of her infectious joy.

Then, it was time to face Jongho. As you approached him, your heartbeat echoed loudly in your ears. A lump formed in your throat, making it difficult to breathe. The world seemed to come to a standstill as you stood before him. His familiar eyes met yours, and in that moment, everything else faded into insignificance.

"Hi…" The word was barely more than an apprehensive whisper, escaping from Jonhgo's lips. His gaze was fixed on you, a whirlpool of emotions swirling within his eyes. It had been almost five years since he had last seen you. Yet, as he looked at you now, it was as if time had stood still. You were still as beautiful, if not more, as the last time he saw you. Your enchanting smile and the mesmerizing glint in your eyes had the power to make his heart stutter within his chest.

"I'm sorry to be showing up like this," you said, your voice carrying the weight of your uncertainty. You had rehearsed this moment countless times in your head, and yet now, standing in front of him, the words seemed to escape you. You sat down on the chair, passing him the album.

"It’s fine… it’s so good to see you," Jongho responded, each word punctuated with sincerity. At that moment, he felt as if the world around him had melted away. All that mattered was you. His eyes were lost in yours, completely oblivious to the world around him. It was as if an invisible thread was pulling him towards you, making him oblivious to everything else.

"I just…" you started, the words hanging in the air. But before you could give them shape, a small voice chimed in.

‘’Hi Uncle Jongho! You are my Mommy's favourite’’ Nari greeted him with a wide grin spreading across her face, she cautiously yet excitedly maneuvered herself into your lap. Her eyes sparkled with uncontained joy as she looked up, her gaze meeting Jongho's, who was across the table, her smile growing even wider, if that was possible, at the sight of him.

"Hi, little one! Well, your mom has great taste!" Jongho responded, his words laced with surprise. He hadn't expected this.

"I really like your songs," the little girl confessed with an earnest expression. "Mommy told me that you're a good person and that we could be friends." The words hit Jongho like a punch in the gut. The realization that you had a daughter began to dawn on him. He quickly glanced at your fingers, searching for a wedding ring, but found none. Jongho's heart sank as a lump formed in his throat, his mind racing to piece together the puzzle before him. You weren't married, nor engaged, and the little girl nestled on your lap couldn't have been more than four years old. It didn't take long for him to make the connection— you must have been pregnant five years ago, and five years ago you were his.

"I’m sure we will be great friends," Jongho replied, trying to keep his voice steady. His gaze never left yours, even as he addressed Nari. Jongho's eyes slowly drifted away from yours, lingering for a moment before he turned to look at Nari. He took his time, observing her closely. There was something about her that caught his attention. He couldn't help but see the resemblance - something in the way her eyes sparkled, the curve of her smile. As you were sitting with Nari in your lap, you couldn't help but notice Jongho's gaze fixed on her. His eyes were filled with adoration and curiosity, something that you found endearing. Gently, you shifted Nari off your lap. You took her small hand in yours,

"Nari," you started, your voice as soft as a whisper, careful not to disrupt the lively chatter around you. Her big, innocent eyes looked up at you, her attention completely focused on you. "Would you wait for me next to the last uncle's table?" you asked her. Your tone was gentle, Nari simply nodded, her trust in you evident. She didn't ask why, didn't protest, she trotted off, her steps small and careful. Jongho's gaze was still on her, his eyes filled with the same adoration as before. The sight warmed your heart, solidifying the beautiful moment in your memory.

"Is she mine?" The question was out in the open before he could stop himself. Jongho’s heart was pounding against his ribcage, and his hands were trembling, but he couldn't ignore the uncanny resemblance.

"Jongho I…" you started but were quickly interrupted by Jongho's direct question.

"She's mine, isn't she?" you feel your cheeks flush as you investigate Jongho's eyes, unsure of how to respond. Your heart beats faster as you gather the courage to answer him.

"She's yours, Jongho," you finally admitted, the truth coming out in a whisper. All the color drained from his face at your words. He was a father. He had a daughter. His mind was reeling, struggling to process the enormity of what he had just learned. "I found out a month after we broke up" you confessed, your words barely a whisper. The weight of your words was almost too much to bear, and you found it impossible to meet his intense gaze.

"Y/N, you know I can’t..." Jongho began, his voice was heavy with unspoken emotions. His hand, almost as if guided by an unseen force, reached out for you in a gesture of comfort and longing.

"I just wanted her... our little girl, to see her dad, to meet you, at least once in her lifetime," you admitted, your voice shaking with the effort of holding back the torrent of tears threatening to spill. "I don’t expect anything in return." Jongho simply stared at you in silence, his expression unreadable. His gaze was intense, almost as if he was trying to read your thoughts.

"I'll need some time to process this," he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper. The silence that followed was deafening, the tension in the air palpable. But for the first time in years, you felt a sense of relief wash over you. The truth was finally out, and despite the complexity of the situation, you felt a strange sense of peace.

"I understand, Jongho, I don't expect anything form you," you replied, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. You knew this was a lot for him to take in. It wasn't easy for you either, but you were glad that he now knew about Nari.

"Hey Nari!" You heard Jongho's voice asking for your daughter's attention. "Wouldn't you give me a hug?" Nari, who had been watching the exchange from a distance, hesitated for a moment before making her way towards Jongho. His smile widened as he crouched down to her level, opening his arms wide for her. Nari ran into his embrace, wrapping her small arms around his neck. Jongho held her close, his heart swelling with an indescribable emotion. As the security guard began to usher you away, a pang of regret washed over Jongho. Seeing you hustled away, Jongho felt a surge of urgency. He yearned to reach out, to clasp your hand and never release it, but time was eluding him.

"Wait!" Jongho's desperate voice echoed as he stepped forward, stretching a hand towards you. But it was too late, you were already moved to Hongjoong’s table. Jongho slumped back into his seat, engulfed by defeat. He had let you slip through his grasp again, and now he was worried that he might never rectify his mistake. As he sat, absorbed in his thoughts, the image of Nari's innocent face haunted him. She resembled him so much with her broad eyes and radiant smile, yet she was a stranger—a reminder of the life he missed and the family he never knew he had. Engrossed in his thoughts, Jongho barely registered the next fan asking for an autograph. His thoughts were occupied by you and the daughter he never knew existed. As he autographed the fan's album, Jongho wondered if there was still hope for you and him, if perhaps fate might reunite them one day.

As you approached Hongjoong's table with Nar, your heart raced with a mix of apprehension and resentment. You couldn't shake the memories of your last encounter, the painful words he had spoken, and the role he had played in driving you and Jongho apart. Hongjoong looked up from signing autographs, his expression unreadable as he locked eyes with you. There was a flicker of recognition in his gaze, followed by a hint of guilt that he quickly masked with a polite smile.

"Hello," Hongjoong greeted you, his voice carefully neutral. "It's been a while." you forced a tight smile, your hands trembling slightly as you returned his greeting.

"Yes, it has," you replied, her voice strained with tension. There was a palpable awkwardness between you two, as Hongjoong catches sight of Nari standing beside you, his eyes widen in surprise. There's an unmistakable resemblance between Nari and Jongho—the same sparkling eyes, the same dimpled smile—that sends a pang of nostalgia coursing through Hongjoong's heart. Nari beams up at Hongjoong, her innocence and warmth melting away any lingering tension in the air.

"Hi Uncle Hongjoong!" she chirps, reaching out to shake Hongjoong's hand with childlike enthusiasm. As Hongjoong exchanges a few more pleasantries with Nari, you can't shake the feeling of unease that gnaws at the back of your mind. With a quick 'thank you' to Hongjoong, you took Nari in your arms and quickly made your way towards the exit. You didn't dare to look back, your heart pounding in your chest. As you walked away, you couldn't help but wonder if Hongjoong had made the connection. But it didn't matter anymore. You had done what you had come here to do. Nari had finally met her dad, and Jongho now knew about her existence. What would happen next was out of your hands.

As you exited the venue, you could feel a sense of relief washing over you. The heavy burden that had been weighing on your heart for years was now lifted. You glanced at Nari, her face filled with joy and excitement, her eyes sparkling with pure innocence. You couldn't help but feel a sense of love and pride. Despite everything, you knew in your heart that you had made the right decision.

jongho

After what felt like an eternity, the fan meeting ended. Jongho's mind still reeling from the shock. He found himself rushing backstage into the tranquility of the dressing room that he shared with Hongjoong. He withdrew to a corner, away from the others, needing to be alone with his tumultuous thoughts. Images of Nari's face swirled in his mind, her innocent smile seared into his memory. He wrestled with a whirlwind of questions, his brain struggling to process the reality of his newfound fatherhood.

"Why didn't you try to contact me?" He asked the empty room, his voice barely a whisper. The question echoed off the walls, a haunting reminder of the years he had missed. "Didn't I have a right to know sooner?" His voice broke as he voiced the question, the hurt evident in his tone. He was a father, but he had been oblivious to that fact for years. The knowledge filled him with a potent mix of joy and anguish. Joy at the thought of being a father, and anguish at the years he had missed, the moments he would never get back. The room felt suffocating, the silence deafening as the reality of the situation slowly sank in. He missed out on so much. He missed seeing you pregnant, a sight he was sure would have been beautiful. He missed being there for you when you were feeling sick when you needed him the most. He missed the birth of Nari, missed holding your hand through the labor. He missed her first tooth, her first steps, her first words. He even missed her first day of school. All these milestones in Nari's life, and he wasn't there for any of them. A sense of loss washed over him, a regret for all the moments he had missed, moments he could never get back. Jongho was alone, filled with anger. He felt betrayed, kept in the dark about his own daughter all these years. He was furious at everyone, including himself. His hands clenched into fists as he grappled with the reality of missed opportunities to be a father.

As Hongjoong entered the dressing room, he could sense the storm of emotions raging within Jongho. The usually lively and cheerful atmosphere of the room was replaced by a heavy silence. Jongho was seated alone, lost in his thoughts. The look on his face was one of confusion and shock, a stark contrast to his usual cheerful demeanor.

"Jongho..." Hongjoong began, hoping to break the silence. His voice was gentle, not wanting to startle his friend. Jongho looked up, his eyes meeting Hongjoong's. There was a vulnerability in Jongho's eyes that tugged at Hongjoong's heart. He knew Jongho needed to talk, to let out all the emotions that were bottled up inside him.

"I know you have a lot on your mind because of Y/N showing up," Hongjoong said, taking a seat next to Jongho. His voice was soft, understanding. "And I'm here to listen, whenever you're ready to talk about this." His words hung in the air, offering a sense of comfort and support to Jongho.

"I'm surprised you even remember her," Jongho scoffed, the hurt evident in his voice. His mind was a whirlwind of emotions and memories, all coming back at once. Breaking the silence that hung heavily in the room, Hongjoong finally voiced the question that had been lingering in everyone's minds,

"Y/N's a mom now, how does it make you feel?" Hongjoong's voice was gentle, and cautious, as if he was afraid of shattering the fragile peace that had momentarily settled over them. He was aware that he was treading on thin ice, yet he also knew this was a conversation that needed to be held.

"I don’t know" Jongho's voice broke, the words he needed to confess stuck in his throat. He needed to admit that he was the father, but he couldn't find the words. The situation was too raw, too fresh. He was scared to say it out loud.

"Her daughter, she looks a bit like you," Hongjoong said gently, his gaze falling on his friend. "She has your eyes... your smile." As he spoke, Hongjoong's hand found its way to Jongho's shoulder, offering a reassuring squeeze. It was his way of encouraging Jongho, of letting him know that he wasn't alone in this.

Jongho finally broke down. His voice was barely a whisper as he admitted, "Because she's mine." His hands covered his face, trying to hide the tears that were streaming down his cheeks. His body trembled with the intensity of his emotions, the reality of the situation finally sinking in. "That night... when you told me to break up with Y/N, I..." He paused, struggling to find the right words. "I thought I was doing the right thing, for both of us." The memory of that night came rushing back to him, the pain, the confusion, the regret. He felt as though he was reliving that moment all over again.

Hongjoong remained silent, listening to Jongho's confession. He could see the pain etched on his friend's face, the regret in his eyes. "Jongho, I..." he began, but Jongho cut him off.

"I trusted you," Jongho continued, his voice choked with emotion. "I trusted you, and I let her go. But now... now I have found out that I have a daughter. A daughter that I didn't even know existed because I wasn't there for her... because I wasn't there for Y/N." His voice cracked the guilt and regret overwhelming him. "I missed out on so much because of that decision... because of you." Tears kept streaming down Jongho's face as he sobbed, he had lost so much - his love, his child, years of being a father - all because of a decision made years ago. And now, he didn't know how to deal with this overwhelming wave of regret and loss. "I don't know what to do," Jongho whispered, his eyes welling up with unshed tears. The weight of the revelations and the depth of his emotions were too much to bear. His heart felt heavy in his chest, the pain nearly unbearable. He felt lost, unsure of how to navigate the storm of emotions within him. The anger, the hurt, the betrayal... it was all too much. And yet, amidst all of that, there was also a profound sense of love; love for a child he had never known, but already cared for deeply. "What do I do now?" he asked, looking up with pleading eyes, desperate for guidance and a roadmap to navigate this new reality. Hongjoong was at a loss for words. He could see the pain in Jongho's eyes and feel the regret that filled the air around them.

"Jongho, I... I didn't know. I thought I was doing what was best for you. For your career. I never meant for this to happen," he finally managed to say, his voice filled with regret. But words were just words, and no apology could erase the years Jongho had lost.

"When I hugged Nari, it was like love just hit me with the power of a train," Jongho continued, his gaze fixed on Hongjoong. "I couldn't believe she's mine. The moment she was in my arms, I felt this overwhelming urge to break down, to cry and apologize for not being there from the start. Y/N's been doing that all alone, Hongjoong," Jongho cried out, his voice choked with emotion. "I wasn't there... I didn't know... The pregnancy, the birth, and then raising a daughter... She has been all alone." His voice broke in the last words, the heart-wrenching reality hitting him hard.

"Jongho, don’t blame yourself, you didn't know," Hongjoong finally spoke up, his voice filled with understanding and sympathy. "You still have a chance to make it right."

"How am I supposed to make it right?" Jongho asked, his voice filled with desperation and confusion. "Only you knew about Y/N. I've never told the rest of the boys, nor the managers, nothing... How am I supposed to make it work now?" His words hung heavy in the air for a moment, the weight of his predicament settling in. Jongho looked down, a mix of frustration and despair etched on his face. "Maybe it's too late... Maybe I've already lost my chance." He murmured, the hopelessness in his voice echoing through the room. His heart ached at the thought of missing out on his daughter's life, all the moments he could have been there for her.

"We'll find a way," Hongjoong said firmly, his voice tinged with determination. "We'll talk to the managers, to the members... We'll figure it out together."

"What if Y/N doesn't want me in her life again?" Jongho asked, the fear in his voice almost palpable. The thought of you rejecting him, of not wanting him in your life anymore, terrified him. The silence that followed was deafening, the tension in the air palpable.

"Jongho, Nari is your daughter," Hongjoong finally said, his voice steady and determined. "And regardless of what happened between you and Y/N, from now on she will always be a part of your life. You need to talk to Y/N, to understand her perspective and express your feelings. This is not only about Nari, but it's also about you and Y/N, about the life you could have together." After wiping away the last of his tears, Jongho took a deep breath, steadying himself. He knew what he had to do next.

"I need to reach out to Y/N," he said to himself, determination filling his voice.

"Do you still have her number?" Hongjoong asked. Jongho nodded, reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone. He scrolled through his contacts until he found your name. He hesitated for a moment before showing the screen to Hongjoong.

"But it's been five years... She could have changed it," Jongho voiced out his concern, the uncertainty clear in his voice.

"Well, it doesn't hurt to try?" Hongjoong asked, smiling at Jongho. Jongho looked back at Hongjoong, his expression unreadable. There was a long pause before he finally nodded, his gaze determined.

"You're right," he said, "It doesn't hurt to try."

"Nari will not only get her dad, but she will also get seven uncles. I promise the boys will love her so much. She will be so loved," Hongjoong said encouragingly. "So don't be afraid and talk to Y/N." Hongjoong's words hung in the air for a moment, creating a hopeful silence. Jongho looked at him, his sadness visibly subsiding, replaced by a glimmer of longing and anticipation.

"You really think they'll accept her? Accept us?" Jongho asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I know so," Hongjoong replied confidently. "We're a family, Jongho. And family means no one gets left behind or forgotten." With that, Jongho seemed to find a new resolve. He nodded, taking a deep breath as he prepared himself to take the first step towards a future where he could be a father to his daughter, a future where he was no longer kept in the dark.

The drive back to the dorms seemed to take an eternity. Jongho found himself lost in his thoughts, the car's quiet hum a stark contrast to the storm of emotions raging within him. The conversation with Hongjoong had eased his mind a bit, the weight of his newfound fatherhood feeling a little less heavy. He decided it was best to delay talking to the boys and the company about the situation until he had had time to process everything himself. It was a lot to take in, and he needed time to figure out his next steps. Once he entered his room, Jongho wasted no time. He locked the door behind him, seeking the privacy he needed for the call he was about to make. His heartbeat quickened as he dialed your number, each ring echoing in his ears until finally, the line connected.

you

After an exhausting day you found yourself sinking into the plush cushions of your couch, a glass of your favorite wine in hand. The TV screen in front of you was merely background noise, a mindless distraction from the day's events. Your phone suddenly lighted up, an incoming call from an unknown caller. You picked it up, eyeing the unfamiliar number with a slight frown. After a moment's hesitation, you finally answered, "Hello? Who is it?"

"Hi, it's me, Jongho," he said, his voice sending a shiver down your spine. You swallowed hard, your heart starting to beat faster. ‘’Do you have time to talk right now?’’

"Yeah, Nari's at my mom's now…" you managed to reply, trying to keep your voice steady. You didn't expect that Jongho had your number, let alone that he would reach out so quickly.

Jongho's heart beat harder at the mention of Nari's name. "If you're not busy, maybe we could meet up for a coffee?" Jongho offered.

"Jongho, you don't have to be doing this. I don't expect you to do anything for Nari or me," you blurted out, the words tumbling from your lips before you could stop them.

"Y/N, you took her away from me for four years. She's my daughter. And for years, I was oblivious to her existence. I missed out on so much because you chose to keep me in the dark," Jongho's voice was steady, but you could hear the underlying emotion. "Because of that, I think you owe me at least a conversation." There was a pause, and you could almost feel Jongho gathering his thoughts. "So, what you need to do now is send me the address of a coffee place near your location. I'll meet you there in an hour."

"Alright, Jongho, let's meet. I'll send you an address," you sighed heavily, the weight of the situation pressing down on you. You knew deep down that you owed him this conversation, even if it was the last thing you wanted to do right now. The reality was that you weren't ready to face whatever consequences this meeting would bring about. You weren't ready to delve into the past, but for your daughter's sake, for Jongho's sake, and maybe a little bit for your own sake, you would do it. You would meet him, and you would have this conversation.

"I'll see you there," Jongho said, ending the call and leaving you alone with your thoughts. You finished your glass of wine, texted Jongho the address of a coffee place near your apartment, and began to gather your belongings. Opening your wardrobe, you sighed loudly. You wanted to look your best for Jongho but didn't want to appear as if you were preparing for a date or trying too hard to impress him after all these years. Having chosen an outfit, put on your denim jacket, and headed to the coffee shop.

Upon entering the coffee shop, your eyes immediately found Jongho, sitting alone in a corner. He was dressed casually in a beige coat, his face partially hidden behind glasses, and a mask. The sight of him caused a flutter in your heart and your hands started to tremble involuntarily. You straightened your clothes and ran a hand through your hair, trying to compose yourself. Taking a deep breath, you began to make your way towards his table, preparing yourself for the conversation to come.

"Hi," you almost whispered as you found your seat opposite Jongho. You tried to maintain an air of confidence, but the reality was that your heart was pounding in your chest. You could feel a lump forming in your throat, and you quickly swallowed to clear it. The memories of your past with Jongho were flooding back, and you were suddenly overcome with a mix of nostalgia, regret, fear, and hope. Jongho looked at you intently, his eyes scanning your features. It was surreal, he thought, to have you sitting there across from him after all these years. He still couldn't quite believe, that you were here with him. His heart pounded in his chest, a mix of excitement and fear coursing through his veins. This was it - the start of a conversation that was years overdue. "Are you sure you want to talk here?" you asked, glancing around at the bustling café. "This place is still quite busy considering it's already evening," you continued. There was an uncertainty in your tone, a clear sign of your nervousness. You then looked back at Jongho, meeting his gaze. "I just think that considering your status now, it will be more comfortable to do it at my place," you added, offering an alternative.

After a moment of silence, Jongho finally found the courage to ask, "Are you comfortable with me coming over to your place?" His voice was filled with a hint of apprehension as if he was worried about crossing any boundaries.

"Yeah, it's alright," you responded, your tone casual and inviting. You quickly added, ‘’My place isn’t far from here, just about 5 minutes away. Besides, Nari won’t be home tonight. She's staying over with her grandparents, so we'll have the place to ourselves.’’

Jongho seemed to consider your words for a moment before he finally agreed, "Okay then, let's go," his tone steady, as if he was trying to mask his excitement or maybe it was anxiety. Together, you left the bustling café, heading towards the quiet comfort of your apartment. The walk was filled with palpable tension, both of you lost in your thoughts, silently anticipating the conversation that awaited.

You let Jongho in and lead him to the living room. "I'm sorry, it's nothing fancy," you whispered, feeling suddenly self-conscious. You were aware that with the success Jongho had achieved, he was probably used to living in more amazing spaces. Jongho looked around your modest space, taking in the sights of a home that you had lovingly created for yourself and Nari. Her baby pictures were hanging on the wall, her toys scattered in every corner. His smile widened as he took in these intimate glimpses into her life. It filled him with a warm, tender feeling, a sense of connection to the daughter he was only just getting to know.

''I don't know where to start'' you finally whispered anxiously as you sit down on the couch.

Jongho looked at you, his eyes softening. "How about we start from the beginning?''

"I found out about a month after we broke up," you started, your voice shaking. Jongho's presence felt so strange in your apartment. His eyes on yours added to the tension that was heavy on your shoulders.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jongho asked, his voice filled with a mixture of confusion and hurt. His eyes bore into yours, seeking answers to questions that had been plaguing him since he found out about Nari.

"I was scared," you confessed, your voice barely audible. "And I loved you too much to burden you with my pregnancy," you said, smiling sadly and averting your gaze as you felt tears welling up in your eyes. "And don't try to lie and tell me I wouldn't ruin your life with it," you chuckled, your finger wiping away the tears that escaped. "Because I would have," you continued, the words heavy with regret and unshed tears. "Your music, your dreams... I couldn't stand in the way of that."

"I think I had the right to know," Jongho interrupted, his voice firm yet filled with emotion. His words brought a heavy silence between the two of you. His gaze was intent, the hurt and confusion clear in his eyes.

"Jongho, I didn't mean to hurt you by keeping it a secret," you admitted, your voice trembling with emotion. "But at that time, I genuinely believed it was the best decision for the three of us." You gave him a pleading look, hoping he would understand.

"I want to be Nari's father," Jongho confessed, his voice barely above a whisper but the conviction in his words was undeniable. You were taken aback by his confession, not expecting him to express such a strong desire to be a part of your daughter's life. You looked at him, your heart pounding in your chest as you tried to find the right words.

"Jongho... we are doing good, the two of us. You've chosen your career, and I want you to stick to that decision now. Nari doesn't change anything."

"How can you say that? Of course, it changes everything! I am a father now!", Jongho's voice rose, his tone filled with a sense of urgency and frustration. His heart pounded in his chest, his gaze never leaving yours. "Nari exists because we loved each other," his voice choked with emotion as he continued, "She's a living proof of our love." His voice trailed off, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the room. He was desperate for you to understand. His life, his priorities, everything had shifted the moment he found out about Nari. And he was determined to do whatever it took to be a part of her life. Jongho's eyes flashed with determination as he refused to accept your words. "I am her dad, Y/N, and you can't change that!" he exclaimed, his voice filled with conviction.

"I know you are, Jongho," you admitted, your voice softening."But I want you to focus on Ateez, you guys are already doing so well," you responded, your voice steady yet filled with a strange calmness. "Me and Nari... we'll be better off without you." The words hung heavily in the air, a painful reality neither of you wanted to face.

"Stop lying to yourself!" Jongho suddenly stood up, glaring at you as his frustration boiled over. His voice echoed around the room, a clear indication of his disbelief and anger at your words. His outburst took you by surprise. You looked at him, taken aback by the intensity of his emotions.

"Jongho, I made a mistake… I shouldn't have come to the fan sign, I shouldn't have let you meet Nari," you started, but he cut you off.

"Enough, Y/N!" he exclaimed; his voice filled with raw emotion. "You don't get to decide what's best for me. She is my daughter too, do you understand?" You swallowed hard, feeling a lump forming in your throat. You knew he was right. "I want to be there for Nari." You looked at him, speechless. You hadn't expected this. You hadn't expected him to fight for his right to be a part of Nari's life. But here he was, standing in your living room, pouring his heart out to you.

"This is a huge responsibility. Are you sure you're ready for it?" You took a deep breath, locking eyes with him. "Because once you're in, there's no going back." Jongho gaze softened, but the determination remained.

"Yes, I'm sure," he said resolutely. "I want to be a part of her life. And I'm ready to take on the responsibility that comes with it." His voice was steady, his conviction clear. There was a pause, a momentary lapse in his speech before he finally found the courage to continue with his confession. "And...," he started his voice barely a whisper, so low and quiet that it was almost lost. You had to strain your ears to hear the rest of his sentence. "I want you back as well, if you will have me" he admitted his words carrying an emotional weight that you could feel hanging in the air between you. You were stunned, unable to form a coherent response. Jongho's words had taken you completely by surprise. You never expected him to confess his feelings, to say that he wanted you back. It felt like your heart was pounding out of your chest, your mind racing with thoughts. You looked at him, your emotions in turmoil. Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision.

"Jongho, I..." you started, struggling to find the right words. You could see the hope in his eyes, the same hope that you felt blossoming in your own heart. "I need time to think about all of this," you finally admitted. "For now, we should focus on you getting to know Nari."

His face fell slightly at your words, but he quickly composed himself. "Of course, I understand," Jongho responded, his voice gentle. "Take all the time you need. And I look forward to getting to know our daughter." After a moment, Jongho broke the silence, his voice soft as he asked, "Could I see her room, if that's not too much to ask?" His eyes were hopeful as he looked at you, his chest rising and falling steadily as he took a few calming breaths. It was clear that he was trying to keep his emotions in check, to respect your need for space and time. As much as he wanted to rush into your lives, he knew he had to tread carefully. After all, he was not just stepping into the life of his former lover, but also into the life of his daughter.

"Of course, you can but… You're not gonna like it," you chuckled softly, Jongho's heart softened at the sight of your genuine smile, a smile he had missed more than he cared to admit.

''Why?'' Jongho asked surprised, but you didn't answer. You wanted for him to see it himself. You led Jongho to Nari's room. The sight that greeted him was a mix of bright colors and cute decorations, a clear reflection of the little girl who called this place her sanctuary. And there, among all the toys and drawings, was a framed picture of… Wooyoung.

"Is that... Wooyoung?" Jongho's voice was filled with surprise as his eyes widened at the sight. He quickly made his way into the room, picking up the framed picture in his hands.

"Yes, it's Wooyoung," you confirmed a soft smile on your lips. "Nari adores him. She thinks he's the coolest in the world." You watched as Jongho's gaze lingered on the picture; his expression unreadable. Jongho looked at you, his eyes filled with a mix of emotions.

"I can't believe that amongst all of us, she had to choose Wooyoung," Jongho muttered, his voice low and filled with a sense of disbelief and a hint of jealousy. His gaze remained fixed on the picture, his thoughts running wild. ''My own daughter?'' You giggled again, finding Jongho's disbelief and subtle jealousy amusing.

"Well, she does have a good taste. After all, Wooyoung is pretty cool," you teased, watching as Jongho's face fell even more. You couldn't help but find the whole situation incredibly amusing. Here was Jongho, an idol who was adored by millions around the world, feeling jealous of his own bandmate. Jongho shook his head, chuckling softly at your comment.

"I guess I have some catching up to do then," he said, placing the picture back on the little, pink desk. His tone was light, but you could sense the determination behind his words. He was ready to do whatever it took to build a relationship with his daughter. You watched him, your heart aching at the sight. Jongho, the man you once loved, standing in your daughter's room, expressing his desire to be a part of her life. It was a sight you never imagined you would witness.

"Jongho, I think...I think it's a good start," you finally said, your voice soft but steady. "You wanting to get to know Nari, to be a part of her life...it means a lot."

Jongho turned to you, his gaze softening. "I should've been there from the start," he admitted with a sigh. "But I promise you, I'll make up for the lost time." Those words, that promise, filled you with a sense of hope. You knew the journey ahead would be filled with challenges and uncertainties. But for the first time in a long time, you felt that you weren't alone in this. And maybe, just maybe, there was a possibility for a future where you, Jongho, and Nari could be a family. But for now, you decided to take things one step at a time, starting with Jongho getting to know his daughter.

"She asked about you the other day," you started, your voice barely a whisper as you looked at Jongho. "She had never asked about her dad before, but when she did, it changed something inside me." You admitted, a lump forming in your throat as you recalled the moment. It was a memory that had been haunting you, a reminder of the reality that you had been trying to avoid. Jongho's eyes widened slightly, a mix of surprise and curiosity reflecting in his gaze as he awaited your next words. "I knew this day would come, but I wasn't prepared for it," you continued, your voice choked with emotion. At this, Jongho reached out, taking your hand in his. The warmth of his touch brought a small comfort. "I told her a few things about you, told her you were really busy," you confessed, your eyes meeting Jongho's. "I didn't know what else to say. She asked if her daddy would treat her to ice cream next time."

Jongho's hand squeezed yours lightly as he stated, "Well, then Daddy will take her to get ice cream," he flashed you a smile and you swore you melted at the sight. You had buried your love for Jongho deep in your heart. But now, his hand on yours, his touch that you craved for so long, stirred something within you. You had to admit that those feelings were slightly knocking at your heart, reminding you of their existence. The silence that filled the room was comfortable, a stark contrast to the tension that had been present earlier. You could see the determination in Jongho's eyes, the promise of his words echoing in the quiet room. The reality of the situation was slowly sinking in, and you found yourself looking at Jongho with newfound hope.

"I guess we still have a lot to talk about," you finally broke the silence, your gaze steady on Jongho. There was a soft smile on your face, a clear indication of your acceptance of the situation. "And a lot of ice cream to buy," you added, your tone light and teasing.

Jongho chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "I guess we do," he agreed, his voice warm and gentle. He then looked at you, his gaze softening. "But first, we need to figure out how to tell Nari." You nodded, a sense of apprehension filling you. Telling Nari about her dad would be a challenge, a hurdle that both of you needed to cross together. But looking at Jongho, his determination, and his willingness to step up as a father, you felt a sense of comfort.

"We'll figure it out, Jongho," you said, squeezing his hand in reassurance. "Together."

Jongho looked at you, a serious expression on his face. "Y/N, I wanted to talk to you first about this, but tomorrow I'm going to talk with company representatives and the boys. I think I will choose to go on a hiatus to spend some time with Nari and you," he confessed, his voice steady and sincere. The honesty in his words and the determination in his eyes gave you a sense of reassurance. Jongho was indeed ready to take on the responsibility of being a father, and he was willing to make sacrifices for it.

"Jongho, I want to be clear about something," you started, your eyes meeting his. "I'd still like it if you continued your career. I don't want Nari or me to be the reason you have to give up on your dreams." Your words were steady and sincere, echoing in the quiet room. Jongho looked at you, a wave of relief washing over him. He had been worried about the impact this situation would have on his career, but hearing your support eased his concerns.

"Hearing you say that... it means a lot to me," he confessed, his voice filled with gratitude. He was glad to know that even in this complex situation, he still had your support.

The two of you spent the rest of the evening talking about Nari, her likes and dislikes, her habits, and her dreams. You showed him her drawings, her favorite toys, and even her diary which was filled with her innocent thoughts and dreams. Jongho listened attentively, absorbing every detail. He knew he had a lot of catching up to do, but he was more than willing to make up for the lost time. The night grew late as you continued to talk, discussing the future, your shared past, and how everything would affect Nari. You made it clear to Jongho that his career was still significant, and that he could balance his responsibilities as a father without giving up his dreams. And as you spoke, Jongho felt a wave of relief wash over him. Your support meant the world to him, and he was grateful to hear your words of encouragement.

As you finally said your goodbyes, Jongho promised to keep in touch and to start involving himself in Nari's life slowly. He understood that he had a lot of catching up to do and that it wouldn't be easy. But he was ready to face the challenges ahead, ready to be a father to Nari.

"I'll see you soon, Y/N," Jongho said, his voice low but firm. Before he took a step outside of the door, he stepped closer and gently placed a kiss on your cheek. The action was unexpected. You felt your blood rush to your cheeks as he placed a gentle kiss. Where his lips had touched, a tingling sensation lingered, causing your heart to flutter. He turned back to give you a reassuring smile, a promise that he would be back soon. And as you watched him walk away, you felt a sense of hope blossoming in your heart. You knew that the road ahead would be rocky, but you also knew that you weren't alone on this journey. Jongho would be there, ready to face the challenges with you, for Nari's sake.

#ateez x reader #ateez x y/n #ateez x you #jongho x reader #jongho x y/n #jongho x you #jongho angst #jongho fluff #jongho as dad

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beauty-and-passion · 19 hours

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Eurovision 2024: broken promises and one last hope

Hello.

I know this post took a bit longer than usual, but I needed some time to collect my thoughts about this year’s Eurovision.

Yes, I watched it. Why? Because it wouldn’t have been fair to the artists, who took part in this year’s competition. It’s not because of them that the show was so polarized, so they didn’t deserve to be punished for that.

Also, I needed to see how far the EBU would go. I needed to see and I needed to remember. And everyone needs to remember too. Remember this year and remember what happened, when the EBU followed its policy so strictly, it ended up making the most tense show I’ve ever watched.

I will share my thoughts and I will try my best to do it effectively. It won’t be a short post and I apologize, but I tried my best.

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Sweden: was it worth it?

We all had big expectations for this year’s show. There was Petra Mede, everyone’s favorite host. And Sweden is well known for doing great shows. This year should've been great.

The first semifinal starts and we're bombarded by greatest hits of the past. Cool for five minutes, boring after one hour.

I’m disappointed: I expected something better from Sweden, not them recycling something already done in the past. But that’s what they did by sending Loreen back to win again, so I suppose it’s fitting.

Okay, so we have Johnny Logan, Ireland’s three-time winner. Is he singing one of his songs? No, he’s singing Tattoo.

Weird choice. Why call Ireland’s three-time winner to perform a Swedish song? Why call a representative of the nation who won as many times as you and make him sing one of your songs and not one of his?

If I were to think badly, I would think this was Sweden's subtle way to impose its supremacy on Ireland. A sort of: "You're not the best anymore, I reached you and I will surpass you. You will succumb to me". But Sweden would never do something like that, wouldn’t it?

Then we have the second semifinal. And we have a song, which can be resumed as follows: “We know we stole Finland’s victory last year, but instead of admitting there is a problem with the voting system (and the entire system for that matter), we’d much rather prefer to whine, because people have been sooooo mean with us. And yes, we will keep sending the same stuff every time, because it makes us win. At the end of the day, all we want is to keep winning, so shut up and love us.”

I don’t know you, but the line between being self-aware of your flaws and openly admitting all you want is to win (all while insulting the country that almost won last year, by saying that their show would’ve been so stupid ah ah, while ours is so cool, see how cool we are?) is very thin. And even the greatest hosting country of all time can succumb to its own hubris once in a while.

Then we reach the final. Okay, the semifinals' shows were meh and left me with a bitter aftertaste, but hey, that’s the final! It must be awesome!

After two hours, I was looking at the clock, waiting for the entire thing to be over.

Did we really need a thirst song about Martin Österdahl, the most hated EBU Executive Supervisor? Was it really necessary to sexualize this man? Is it because he’s Swedish? Is it because Sweden needs to kiss the ESC’s ass even more? Or is it because the ESC really really wants to make this guy more popular, considering people hate him?

After hinting at them in every possible way for the entire week, in the end we got AI-generated ABBA. Well, shoutout to the real ABBA for not participating in this: last year they said they would’ve not taken part and they didn't. Respect.

Alcazar were the biggest surprise of the entire week, because they are a piece of my childhood and Crying at the Discoteque is still a huge bop. But heaven forbid we having fun for more than five minutes, so they were sent away immediately.

At the end of the day, my question is: was it worth it, Sweden? Was it worth winning seven times, only to celebrate with the most boring show ever?

I cannot believe I’m saying this, but I missed Portugal’s show. Yes, the show I called “torture”, because they kept spamming the entire country for days.

You know what? I’d rather watch a country constantly spam its beauties and its culture, than another greatest hit compilation. By god, you’re hosting Eurovision. That's your chance to display your country on the greatest window Europe has to offer. And you use that chance, to repeat over and over “Eurovision good” and talk about it only.

I know Eurovision is good and cool and I love the reminder... but please, give us something more, Sweden. Something you. Listening to a country say: “We don’t have anything else to offer besides Eurovision” does not make me laugh. It makes me sad. It's not that you don't have anything else to offer, Sweden: it's that you don't want to show what else you have to offer.

You have gorgeous natural places (Höga Kusten and Gotland just to name two). You have the second-longest bridge in Europe and it's fucking impressive. Your capital is full of wonderful islands - and I found out there are tours with buses that go both on the ground and in the water. How fucking cool is that?!

Do we want to talk about culture? Your coffee breaks are literally part of your lifestyle and even have a specific name. You have that great concept of lagom which a lot of people should learn too. You are full of beautiful art and funny foods - heck, there is even a Disgusting Food Museum in Malmö! And I didn't find out thanks to Eurovision, but thanks to fucking Tripadvisor.

It's just sad, you know? Don't underestimate yourself so much, Sweden. You have a ton to offer besides this show.

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The Netherlands: victim of paradoxes

Europapa was one of fan’s favorite songs and of course it was: a catchy tune, funny singer, fun and happiness for a song that was both a celebration of Europe and a touching love letter from Joost to his parents.

Of course it got people’s hearts. We all love the story of a character who comes up with a dream and wants to fulfill it. And if we can, we want to make that dream come true.

So just imagine how devastating it was, to find out Joost has been disqualified. I was minding my own business when I found out and I was shocked, so I can’t even imagine how bad his hardcore fans felt.

The first question was, of course, why. What happened? What could’ve done a man who has always wanted to attend Eurovision, to get disqualified? Not warned, not penalized. Disqualified. What did he ever do, to put in jeopardy his lifelong dream like that?

I don't know if we’ll ever find out the whole truth. All we know is that Joost asked a woman to stop filming him, she refused and kept following him, so he made a “threatening gesture” towards the camera, while not touching her.

Which gesture? No idea. Maybe he showed his middle finger, maybe he tried to lower the camera, maybe he said “fuck you and stop filming me”, maybe he tried to hit the camera. I don’t know. But in this case, I would really like to know - and not just what he did, but how the whole thing went.

If this year taught us something, is the importance of context. If Joost Klein tried to punch the camera is one thing and he should be condemned for that. But if Joost Klein tried to punch the camera after being filmed without his permission, because a woman was harassing him and following him, thus breaking the agreement that wanted him to not be filmed after stage… well, that's another thing.

Sure, he shouldn’t have reacted this way. But you can understand by yourself that snapping at someone out of the blue is one thing and snapping because you’re fed up with harassment is another thing.

Did Joost deserve some punishment? Sure. But did the person filming him without consent deserve punishment too? Of course. If you have to apply punishments, you have to do it equally, not with a double standard. So if he was disqualified, that woman should've been removed from her position too. But as far as I know, she wasn't.

Also, why didn't the EBU tell exactly what happened right from the start? Why refer to it as “an incident” and give only vague explanations? Why not mention Joost's disqualification during the Grand Final? Why did people have to find out through social media and the Grand Final happened as if nothing?

That's weird, that's not the behavior of someone who has nothing to hide. What’s the matter, EBU? Why this weird lack of communication? And why not show the footage of the incident and make everything clear? Now you’re respecting Joost’s right to not be filmed? A bit too late for that, isn’t it?

So yes, in a paradoxical turn of events, Joost Klein got his dream denied by the same show he wanted to be part of. The guy with the most European song ever, the one who stuck to the ESC motto “united by music”, the one who celebrated Europe, the one whose childhood dream was to be part of this European show, got disqualified by the same European show.

What can I say? I just hope karma will do its job for him. If he's innocent, he will get good things. If he's in the wrong, he will get his punishment.

In the meantime, you can still support him, stream his songs and check his albums. Here on YouTube you will find basically all of them, since it doesn’t seem he has a YouTube channel (yet).

And if his fans still find everything absurd and unjustifiable, don't worry: if Eurovision 2023 (and all previous ones) taught us something, is that you don’t have to be the winner, to steal people’s hearts. Sometimes, you just need one performance.

And this one stole everyone's heart.

youtube

Also, since apparently paradoxes were not enough, it seems like European flags were banned for being political? European flags during a European show in a European country in the European continent.

Uh?!

EBU, one question: on which continent do you think you’re in? Spoiler: it’s not America.

_________________________________

EBU’s biggest mistake

Let's talk a bit about the current global situation, shall we? No, you can't escape from it.

So, unless you lived under a rock until now, you know that the Israeli-Palestinian conflict has been going on for a long time and that recently it intensified again because of the new Gaza conflict. Israel pretends to not have committed war crimes, the rest of the world tells them to stop committing them, there are protests everywhere and people are ready to jump at each other’s throats to defend one country or the other.

Now, you’re the EBU. You say your show isn’t political. And that’s true: Eurovision isn’t political. Eurovision is a musical competition. It has nothing to do with politics.

But Eurovision takes place on planet Earth. And, as said, the situation on planet Earth is a bit tense right now. So you already know that, if you stick one single finger in this situation, you will get BIG reactions from the public.

So, what do you do, when Israel asks you to participate?

a) You tell Israel, very politely and very professionally, that you appreciate their application, but cannot accept them this year, because the situation is what it is and letting them in would bring chaos and potential dangers into a contest whose main foundation is being safe and non-political.

b) You let Israel in and let Palestine participate too, at least in spirit through people’s voices and decisions to mention it. This way, no one can say you’re taking sides, since you’re letting both sides participate.

c) You let Israel in and censor everything and everyone else, so not only you bring chaos inside your non-political contest, but make it even more political than ever and end up taking sides too.

Guess what EBU chose.

In order to stick to their non-political policy, EBU put blinders on and ignored the rest of the world. In order to let one country in because "Eurovision is non-political, so everyone is allowed to participate", they brought politics into their non-political show.

And no, it's not unexpected: it was obvious that, by letting Israel in, politics would've entered the competition too. This country and politics are bound tightly now, because of the current situation: of course if you let one in, the other will enter too.

And with politics, all the chaos of the current situation found its way in too. And that means EBU literally put in danger:

25 artists and their teams coming from all over Europe

the same Israeli gal and her team

all the tourists coming from all over the world to attend Eurovision

Swedish people who were living their normal lives and were suddenly surrounded by protests and chaos

the protesters who could've been involved in potential clashes

members of the police who also could've been involved in potential clashes

“But hey”, you might say, “nothing bad happened, in the end! You’re being too negative!”

Sure, thankfully nothing bad happened. But the risk was there, it was huge and it's not that "it would've been here anyway": the risk could've been completely avoided, by applying just a bit more human reasoning.

But even after politics found its way into the show, even after that, EBU could've saved the whole thing. If only one human being with a functioning brain said something like: "Okay, politics is in, even if we didn't want to. Now all we can do is let the other side of the conflict speak too, while we stay neutral".

But no, oh no. Mentioning Palestine and ceasefire means politics and our show isn't political. So let's ignore the fact that our decision to follow the policy verbatim led to politics being inside the show and let's keep applying the rules as if nothing: no one should mention politics, so Eric Saade cannot perform with the kefiah, Bambie Thug should remove their messages about ceasefire, Iolanda cannot keep her nails with Palestine's colors (seriously?!) and people's booing should be drowned with anti-booing technology.

You know, it's incredibly fascinating how EBU's stubborn decision to strictly follow the rules not only allowed politics inside the show, but led to the EBU itself taking a political stand, all while censoring every other opposition. EBU's rigid, mechanical application of the policy led to the EBU contradicting the same policy it was oh-so-religiously following. By making sure the show wasn't political, EBU applied censorship and not only made it even more political, but politically oriented towards one side of the conflict.

I don't know who the EBU members are and if they're human beings with functioning brains or just AI-generated bots, but please: stop following the rules like mindless robots and start using human reasoning in your decision-making process. And use common sense too, because if an idiot like me could foresee the consequences, you should've been able to foresee them too.

_________________________________

Israel: bullying cannot buy you victory

Now, we have Israel in. And the Israeli gal and her team perfectly know that their sole presence will lead to controversy and political stands.

So, if you were in their place, what would have you done?

kept a low profile during the entire competition;

showed at least an ounce of regret for unintentionally putting everyone in danger;

bullied everyone and tried to find any possible chance to beef with the other artists;

Guess what the Israeli team chose.

During the entire competition, these people kept harassing other artists, filming them without consent, calling them names, misgendering them. They kept this arrogant behavior, as if they owned the place and all other countries were just invited to their show.

And if there’s something I hate more than arrogance, is arrogance with a side dish of bullying.

So, to all the people whining because “Martina Satti yawned while Eden was speaking and Joost hid his face”: if that’s bullying, for you, you have a great life and I envy you. I wish I was bullied like that in school. But my bullying was more like… well, calling me names, harassing me and listening/spying what I was doing without my consent.

But apparently harassing the competitors wasn’t enough, so Israel decided to harass the viewers too, by begging for votes. Yes, they begged for votes. Yes, they spammed ads all over YouTube. Yes, I got one too and it was on a Eurovision-unrelated video and it made my blood boil. Yes, they were this desperate. And yes, that’s pathetic.

Also: is this legal? Is this allowed? EBU, are we sure this is part of the rules you follow so strictly? And please, tell me: is harassment also part of those same rules?

But do not worry: in the end, karma found its way. And despite the arrogance, the harassment, the tons of money spent to beg people, none of these means was enough to grant Israel the victory they oh-so-desperately wanted.

On the contrary: in a wonderfully ironic twist, the winner was one of the artists they kept misgendering and harassing. Mmmh, delicious irony, my favorite.

So thank you Israel for wasting money all over YouTube, I hope they were a lot. Thank you to all the people who made a political vote, you really got the spirit of the show, I hope you will never watch it again. Thank you Israeli team for harassing everyone and making an already tense competition even more tense. And, most importantly, thank you EBU for bringing politics in a non-political show: great fucking job, I hope someone will get fired.

And now, let's finally talk about music. Israel's song was nothing special, just the umpteenth bland song I've listened to 200 times already. And we all know it didn't get 300+ votes because everyone was in love with it. People's taste is not so bland and boring. And the final points proved it.

(On a side note, if I were Eden, I would be offended by these votes. At least the people who voted for Loreen last year didn't do it because of Sweden, but because of her talent. This year, I doubt that the people who voted for Eden gave a shit about her talent at all)

_________________________________

France: I need to make some apologies

Listen, you have to understand: we Italians know that French singers are good. We laugh, we say they’re “so French” and they keep Frenching and everything, but we know they rarely disappoint.

The problem is that France is good at the same things we’re good too. We’re both good at soccer, we’re good with food, wine, fashion. And we’re both good at singing.

So, France, remember: we might make fun of you but my god, your artists are amazing. When Slimane sang that part acapella two meters away from his microphone, I literally got shivers. He is a fucking great singer, his voice is incredible and he deserved more than 7 points.

I know Franch Frenching, but we should give credit when necessary:

youtube

_________________________________

Estonia, Spain and basically everyone else: two words and more apologies

Estonia 20th and Spain 22nd? Super robbed. The ignominy. The audacity. They served us beautiful Estonian language and a Spanish gal with a soft voice and that's how they got rewarded? They deserve more and better and people are stupid.

Also, I don’t know what kind of beef Greeks have with Marina, but she was good and doesn’t deserve all of this hate. Also because most of the complaints I've heard about make no sense, so… uh?!

Germany: fucking finally, people gave you votes. Thank you for persevering, your song was truly nice and I liked it too.

Armenia: yes, top 10! For great, lively, wonderful Balkan rhythm! You deserve it and your country deserves love and appreciation.

Italy: I’m okay with this result. Angelina’s performance was better, compared to the one in the semi-finals (also, better costume too, the other was too revealing and too much in general). 7th place is fine.

Ireland: I know that’s not a song for everyone and okay, fine, maybe it’s nothing special either… but my god, have you seen the performance they put on? A-ma-zing. It was interesting, captivating and full of details. And the narrative is perfect too: you can see how Bambie slowly befriends the demon and ends up killing it. It was truly enjoyable to watch. So I’m glad it got 6th place, they deserve an even higher position.

Ukraine: please keep slaying, your artists are always so great and they keep proving it every goddamn time. Also, that moment when Ukraine surpassed Israel was delicious: money truly cannot buy you love and support.

The UK: seriously, why are you whining about people not giving you points? The song was okay, but nothing truly special. Still, you got 18th place! What should Norway say, instead? Poor Norway, it has all my sympathy, the song wasn't this bad.

And now, to you all: you know what to do. Follow your favorites, stream their songs, shower them with love. Eurovision is over, but these artists are not disappearing. They are still out there, making beautiful music. Go check on them.

_________________________________

Croatia: “the audience will come to my concert, not the jury”

Baby Lasagna was a blessing and as Italian, I want to properly apologize for giving it 16 points total only. You deserved 24, shame on us for being stupid morons.

Croatia gave us a beautiful song, from a beautiful artist with a great message and upbeat sounds. And I’m not the only one who thinks this, because the rest of the public agrees with me. Marko gave us pure joy and entertainment in an evening that was mostly sadness, tension and boredom.

And yes, it’s sad he didn’t win… but he knew it, before Switzerland’s points have been announced. Look at his face, during the final voting: as soon as Petra said Switzerland only needed 182 points, he realized he was going to lose. You can see him understanding and accepting it. He knew Switzerland would get these points. I knew. Everybody knew.

So no, this wasn’t like last year: last year, it was a one-on-one game between Finland and Sweden and a tug-of-war between public and jury. This year, we had a lot of favorites. Marko was the favorite, but if Joost wasn’t disqualified, maybe the points would’ve been even more distributed.

But you know what? Marko actually got the best possible result you can get in Eurovision. People adore you, you become a legend and your country doesn’t have to deal with EBU’s bullshit. You get the best of both worlds and it doesn’t cost you a cent.

Also, consider that Marko accepted his 2nd place graciously and maturely, went back home and was welcomed by basically the whole Zagreb (Let3 were there too! Kings supporting a king, very fitting). And in an interview, he said something like “I don’t care about the jury points, because the jury doesn’t come to my concerts”. Which proves he is:

a mood

a king

the truth oracle

everyone’s spirit animal

the winner of the people

the coolest guy ever

So, Croatia: I understand your disappointment, the jury system REALLY needs to change. And no, you won't host Eurovision next year. But consider that you're everyone's favorite country now. And you won't have to deal with whatever shit will happen in 2025! So sit back, relax, may your tourism thrive and your quality of life be high.

And if all of you people really enjoyed Baby Lasagna, please consider he has a YouTube channel and there are two other songs, besides Rim Tim Tagi Dim. One criticizes social media and the influencer system, while the other is a piece of great life advice from the title: “Don't hate yourself, but don't love yourself too much”. Thank you, king, for being so real.

And in case you’re wondering, yes, they’re both huge bops.

Do your magic: subscribe to his channel, stream his songs, watch his videos, shower him with love and, most importantly, meow back.

youtube

_________________________________

Switzerland: a contest that can live up to its promise

In the end Switzerland won. And it’s a good victory, you know? You might not like the song, but consider that Nemo sang pop, rap and opera, all while jumping on that rotating platform-thingy and running all over the stage. And they even bent back, while keeping a high note and rotating. I can’t even keep a high note by standing still, let alone by doing all the stuff they did.

Also, this is the first victory for a non-binary person, so great for them. And basically no one knew Nemo before Eurovision, so the show came back to its roots, by giving fame to an unknown artist.

Last but not least, in an ironic turn of events, this victory is the least political thing that happened on that stage. In the most polarized, political show ever, the winner is the quintessential neutral country. Almost poetic, in a way.

And this victory is also a huge slap in the face for the EBU: in the end, it wasn't its rigid adherence to the policy that made the show non-political, it was the jury’s vote. How the tables have turned.

But there is another reason why this victory is good after all and it’s because it’s a hopeful one. The winner isn’t famous, they didn’t harass anyone, they didn’t use money to win, they brought nothing besides their identity, a kind heart and a flag they had to sneak in because of the weird “flag rule” EBU pulled out.

And I would like to remind you that, during their victory speech, Nemo said this:

"I hope this contest can live up to its promise and continue to stand for peace and dignity for every person in this world".

I think it’s a speech that tells everything about this year’s show. This year, the contest didn’t live up to its promise: it put people in unnecessary danger, it brought tension, it made it political. EBU’s strictness led to a lot of consequences, the exact ones it tried so desperately to avoid.

As a result, no one enjoyed their time. I didn't enjoy my time. When Sunday came, I was relieved that the week was finally over and I was able to leave Eurovision behind. I didn't feel an ounce of the usual post-Eurovision nostalgia. I was just glad it was over.

And it's sad and unfair, because Eurovision isn't this. Eurovision is a perfect little window of peace and unity, away from the chaos of the world. For a few hours, three evenings a year, we can leave the real problems behind and focus on silly ones, like which country should win, which should be forever ashamed and which artist will become a legend.

This year, it wasn't like that. This year politics found its way in and wrecked everything. What was supposed to be a silly, funny, lighthearted show became so heavily politically charged, it broke under the weight.

And now that I think about it, Nemo breaking the trophy is the perfect metaphorical representation of this year's competition.

Just like that trophy, Eurovision is something frail and beautiful and mishandling can break it. And oh boy, the EBU truly mishandled it. Even if it was an accident, even if it wasn't done on purpose, the trophy is still broken. The show is broken.

But when asked about their broken trophy, Nemo didn't mourn it: Nemo gave words of hope. Maybe the broken trophy can be repaired. And maybe Eurovision can be repaired too.

How? Well, maybe by starting to learn when and how to apply rules. By using common sense and sensibility. And by checking the world outside too. If we want Eurovision to keep being that small window separated from real world problems, we can't just ignore them: we need to check them and react accordingly.

And if we have to break a rule to guarantee peace and safety, then so be it. One broken rule is not as important as safety and unity.

After all, what makes Eurovision isn't a set of rules: it's the artists, with their talents, their messages, their hopes, their voices, their dreams. They are Eurovision. They are the pull that draws everyone in. They are the reason why people are "united by music". Not because a rule orders them to, not because of the EBU: because of these artists.

Maybe the EBU can start from that. Maybe it can start by looking at the human aspect. Maybe it can start by going out and looking around. And maybe it can learn to take more care of the artists who are the foundation of the show.

And maybe, maybe, they will be able to repair Eurovision too.

See you, hopefully, next year.

#eurovision #eurovision 2024 #esc #esc 2024 #sweden #the netherlands #israel #france #croatia #switzerland #baby lasagna #nemo #the artists are eurovision #I hope people will never forget it #thank god this year is over #time to recover now

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kinokoshoujoart · 3 days

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CORRECT TAGS‼️‼️‼️‼️ @rn0na-lizard you are so so so correct….. my favorite ‘Normal Girl’ in hmds…….i almost never see anyone talk about these aspects of her let alone also love her for them as they should.

i feel like Leona/ DS lumina gets mischaracterized super often which is understandable bc out of all the DS candidates leona is the least like her ancestor (who i also love, for different reasons).

in AWL lumina was the only kid in the valley for a very long time, but many of the DS residents have lived in the valley their whole lives. while lumina had accepted her role as a proper young heiress by chapter 3 of AWL— and when DS begins Leona already at this point of her life— lumina still had a lingering sense of uncertainty and angst and loneliness and doubt, and unresolved worries about her parents. absolutely none of this is present with leona

in this world leona starts with Lumina’s 22 year old appearance, she’s just rich as hell and living her best life (as she deserves), she’s unabashedly shallow, puts herself first always, speaks so politely and affably yet she can be so casually cruel in the most genuine cute way and out of touch with reality and and i fucking love her and i’d die for her. my beloved girlboss girlkeep girlypop

more iconic Leona Moments

when muu/muffy asks for beauty advice leona’s recommendation is “this brand of mail order beauty cream is simply divine! and it was quite inexpensive too, just 100,000 G 🥰” everyone else looks uncomfortable and muu is like “you’re as frivolous as always….”

aside from the 3 who take literally half your money (Witch💖, moi, and thomas) leona and panama (romana) take the most money from you if they carry you home when you faint. just a couple of girl bosses holding on to their girlpire (btw shout out to sebastian, the only resident in the entire valley who carries you home for free)

neither panama nor leona attend the harvest festival, they send sebastian there by himself to test the food first lmao (if you poison it like the witch they’re harboring on their property requires you to do, sebastian is just like “i can’t serve this to Mistress Panama…”)

once again sebastian attacks mukumuku for her sake, this time not to make her a paintbrush but she told him to get her the best slippers and this was apparently the easiest way. sebastian gets fucking mauled btw

leona has hands down the best romance route in hmds. all her scenes are incredible but god the slow burn friends to lovers with your DVD player….

in her purple heart event she shows up at your house because she heard you have a DVD player, asks you to show her how it works, and then just leaves after she’s done playing with it

in her yellow heart event she has sebastian fetch van so she can buy a DVD player for herself but van’s like “i’m so sorry …. Pete… bought the last one….”

leona is so unable to stomach the idea of other people having things she doesn’t that she starts to cry and the only way to placate her is to tell her she can go to your house anytime she wants just so she can use your DVD player. that’s not a setup to a budding romance that’s her final heart event

it’s the most incredible romance arc in the world like girl you have infinite money you can just. buy a DVD player somewhere else?? “i want to watch DVDs at my house just like you!” leona you have three entire bedrooms

“rich girl love interest who has everything except love, win her heart by having genuine conversation with her”: done to death, tired, i don’t have time for that

“rich girl love interest who has everything except a fucking DVD player, win her heart by giving her expensive stuff and ‘relax tea’ and access to your DVD player”: audacious, intriguing, never been done before, innovative

if you deny her god-given right to access your DVD player she is like “Is that so……………Just let me be alone for a little bit.” incredible tragedy i understand. take as much time as you need to grieve darling

oh but her first heart event asks you to pick a side in an argument she’s having with panama and the correct answer is to say “sebastian is the one who’s wrong” (sebastian has said nothing wrong this whole time and yet both of them have just been yelling at him to shut up)

and her blue heart event is “help me find this heirloom necklace… boohoo…” and when you find it she’s like “perfect! now grandma won’t get mad at me. hmm, you seem pretty dependable…♡” augh she’s way too good at this…….!!! i’ll do anything for you!

when you propose she says “of course, i always dreamed of having a romance and a wedding♡” and says nothing abt how she feels about you <3

also if you marry her, once a week she goes to hang out at her ex love interest’s place for 6 hours straight and comes home saying “whew… i had so much fun that i must have lost track of time… i’ll hurry on home”

if you marry another girl she starts flirting with you like “I’m so envious of your wife, having such a fine husband… Pete.” (or whatever your name is)

i’ve become obsessed with her and romeo’s horrible trainwreck soap opera marriage since replaying cute in jp… it’s SO… i have so much to say about them that it should be its own post but i’ll just give the cliffnotes

shotgun wedding vibes. romeo is surprised by his own wedding. they’re childhood friends but he himself has never considered marrying her. her words to him at their wedding are “Make me happy♡” (command)

she understandably can’t stand his terrible table manners or his clothes or anything about him (except that she wants to watch him surf and have his child. but he instead walks in circles all day. coward) and he’s both really good at accidentally stepping on landmines and just ever so slightly majorly terrified of her after marriage (“but surely her angry outbursts are just her way of showing love hahahahaha” you’re going to die. she’s going to kill you). the only positive things they say about their marriage are extremely shallow. they can’t communicate with each other because romeo always says the Dumbest Shit obliviously and leona always responds by cutting him out of her life forever!!!!!! (for 5 seconds) while he has no idea what happened

they are both so melodramatic and they both just do nothing except make each other worse and run away from each other and push each other away but they can’t escape each other. neither of them ever has to grow or change if they marry each other because an elderly overworked man is sustaining both of their existences and neither of them can take care of themselves and i love them your honor

also romeo’s first crush as a kid was apparently her mom, and if leona falls for YOU she flirts by mentioning that sebastian says you look like the spitting image of her dead father. dear fucking god

they’re the epitome of “You're both just enabling each other's mental illnesses. You're both perfect for each other. Never change. Just never involve anybody else in what you've got going on.”

romeo really does feel like her stupid lackey. like the karen to her regina. they even had this dynamic in the games they played as kids… she was the Harvest Goddess and he was Servant A/Minion A (they might still be playing this game as adults…he calls her lady/mistress sometimes after marriage…)

btw leona’s best friend (wife) marivia is also just as… there’s an event where they just gossip about all the mineral town ppl and marivia says ann would win a gluttony contest and they both giggle

there’s also an event where marivia casually walks into Witch’s hut and just interviews her so she can write her into a novel. witch is left completely drained by this exchange. leona and marivia both are so chill about the horrible cruel villainess living in leona’s shed who wants the town poisoned and rewards you for killing animals and hurting yourself and is putting curses on everyone (and they’re right. she’s never done anything wrong in her life)

#i also feel like leona and marivia summoned Witch (just girlypop things summoning hot evil ladies from hell)#i’m a marivia x leona x witch truther. the evidence is out there. evil yuri triad (real)#i also love to believe that witch is fucking with all the rival couples in the valley but ESPECIALLY romeo x leona #since she’s petty about her crush (leona) choosing the village idiot of all people #she can’t affect gustafa and nami because gustafa is like a garden gnome type that wards away evil #leona would make coquette edits of phantom skye/steiner #man i really have a lot of overlapping ships but i just like thinking about everyone together in some way #marivia was interviewing witch for a girls love leona x witch sequel in that series she wrote that has the main character based on leona #(this was revealed to me in a dream)#bokumono #harvest moon ds #hmds #harvest moon #story of seasons #hmds leona #hmds lumina #i’m sorry for going ham about your tags i promise i’m normal #^_−☆#hmds cute #i feel like everyone collectively forgot what hmds was like which is understandable because it’s a fever dream #or maybe we misremembered it from our childhoods #but replaying the girl and boy versions in english and japanese has really refreshed my views on the characters #i have so much to say about everyone mostly the rival couples #love the dysfunction and bad vibes in this game #poisoned water supply type of townsfolk #girls hour (meet up in the mines to beat each other up and slaughter various animals and humanoids to eat)#it’s such an evil game #haunted by natsume malware ghosts

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certifiedlovergirlsstuff · 18 hours

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yk how it's a thing that dad's will see you like a fruit once and then will fill the fridge with that fruit? THAT but with our boy Steve? it doesn't have to be fruit, it can be anything. like u once mentioned u like something and next thing u know he keeps getting u stuff related to that. he does it so much that r gets frustrated a lil and tells him that they don't like that thing THAT much

hope that made sense<33

took inspiration from my own obsession with cups and my own flower teapot. gn!reader

he won’t stop buying you cups.

you told him once when he asked, “what’s with all the mixed-matched mugs?” and you told him, “when i go to the thrift store and find some that catch my eye i can’t help myself. plus it’s extra storage for my many knickknacks.”

and when your anniversary arrived that year, steve gifted you a white mug with a bright red ladybug painted onto the ceramic with my love bug written in looping cursive. you cooed and fawned over him about remembering that small conversation.

but now you’re gonna blow your top off. it was cute the first two times, but after the fifth one was a bit ugly, you’ve had to withhold from ‘accidentally’ breaking it.

“baby.” you looked away from a rerun of i love lucy to see steve standing in your doorway with his hands behind his back. wonder what it’ll- “look what i found!” and he pulled out a teapot shaped into a flower. it was so cute.

“oh, stevie…” climbing off your bed to meet him halfway. gentle palms holding onto the body and handle as your eyes took in the details and color.

“reminded me of you, of course. your love from drinking utensils and you’re my favorite flower.” pressing a kiss to your forehead for punctuation.

“it’s beautiful, but steve i have been meaning to tell you-“ “oh god is this a breakup pot!”

“what? no! no it’s not, absolutely not!” rushing to ease his panic. “it’s about the mugs.” pitching your voice down, worried about such a silly subject.

his brows pinched, “you don’t like them?” sounding just a bit hurt. “no i love them, it’s just… you don’t have to just buy me mugs!” unintentionally yelling. steve’s eyes bugged, taken aback, “woah.”

“i appreciate that you remember why i told you, but i don’t even have space for them anymore. and- and i would feel bad if i gave them away, but steve-“ gently placing the pot on the foot of your bed then eyes back to steve, “i don’t want anymore pots or cups, that’s final.” pointing behind you.

he licked his lips then sighed, “well i already knew you liked them so i know i wouldn’t mess up giving you gifts. i don’t want you to pretend to like something just cause i bought it for you.” looking at his hands.

“well i’ll be honestly,” reaching to curl a hand along steve’s, “i hated that clown one. haunted my dreams for weeks, had to hide it deep in my closet.” shuddering at the reminder and it caused steve to laugh with you following. “but seriously,” using your other hand to curl two fingers into his belt loops and give a tug, “you know me very well. so stop putting yourself down and remember, i love you even without constant mugs.”

#erin writes #erin’s blurb requests #a 1k special #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington stranger things #steve harrington reader insert #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington #steve harrington x gn!reader #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader

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amongemeraldclouds · 17 hours

Text

better than revenge | alt chapter: one last cigarette

Toxic!Ex!Mattheo Riddle x f!Reader

Chapter summary: Just when you were ready to leave the past behind, the very person you're trying to escape shows up. 949 words.

Author’s note: Final upload for this series! Wrote this back in March, but it took me forever to post because it's hard to officially say goodbye to the series but here we are.

This chapter is not canon. The main story line officially ended with the previous chapter. This one is just an alternate ending I wrote when I was trying to figure out what to do with Mattheo’s story arc and I like how it turned out. Ex!Mattheo isn’t very popular in this story and for good reason. In the end, I couldn’t write this ending without him being toxic!Mattheo so be warned.

This chapter contains angst and a bit of angry sex so 18+ only below the cut. It was hard writing this because the tone has been mostly fluff, but you can’t really have an ex!story without the heartbreak.

series masterlist | previous chapter | main masterlist

A rude awakening

A/N: This is the final flashback with yours and Mattheo’s story.

“I love you, Mattheo,” I whisper against his ear as the first rays of sunlight filter through the window.

Mattheo wonders what he did to deserve her affection. Breathing here in between slumber and the waking world, his defenses dwindle. The thoughts he long kept at bay claws its way to the surface.

He is the dark lord’s son. He was always fated to ruin everything and everyone he loved. If he didn’t hurt her now, he would in the future.

It was easier, kinder even, to let her go now.

So he did what he knew best.

The last cigarette

A/N: Timeline wise, this takes place before chapter seven. In this alt timeline, you and Enzo never attend the ball.

I inhale the cigarette smoke, letting it fill my lungs, and exhale. One last cigarette for Mattheo. Once I snuff it out, I’m letting him go.

A week after we broke up, grief came in waves. I’d do well in class and get excited to show Mattheo before I remember I no longer could. I’d see his favorite food at the Great Hall and turn, but he wasn’t beside me. I’d snuggle in bed and wait for him to climb in, but he no longer did. How did I keep forgetting?

How did I keep remembering?

I remembered one evening how smoking helped him relax. Maybe it could help me too.

All it did was make me smell like him and I clung on because it was the closest I could get to him.

But here, now, one last smoke then I'll let him go. I inhale and think of twinkling night skies, when Mattheo and I pretended we were floating among the stars. The way they reflected his eyes.

I remember hot chocolate and croissants, snuggling by the fireplace. He complained about my chocolate flavored kisses. Deep down, I knew he loved them.

I recall his fire. Hair pulling, lips crashing, back scratching. The way his touch seared my soul.

And it was good for a while. I exhale and watch it all drift away in the night wind.

I inhale and recall that night. Begging him to stay, to talk to me, we could work it out. Instead he said he got bored. Instead he kissed her.

And oh. Love really did leave you hollow when it left. I exhale and watch the smoke disappear.

I inhale and—

“I thought you liked your lungs?” Mattheo asks, approaching me.

“Don’t talk to me like you know me.”

He stands beside me, eyes searching my face. “I’m sorry,” he says.

“It’s a little too late now, isn’t it? What the fuck, Mattheo? I’m with Enzo and suddenly you care about me?”

“I’ve always cared, please—” he tries.

“You had three weeks to find me, Mattheo. To apologize. But you didn’t. I’m not some trophy you can take from Enzo just so you can score another point against him!”

He recoils, hurt in his eyes. “Do you really think that little of me?”

“Have you forgotten what you’ve done?” I ask.

“If I could take it back, I would.”

“You promised you wouldn’t hurt me,” I accuse him.

“What do you want me to say?” He asks, exasperated. “I’m an idiot! I messed up. I never felt like I was good enough for you.”

“No Matty, you don’t understand,” I point to him, a tear escaping. “You made me feel like I wasn’t good enough!”

My tears spill and his eyes water. He pulls me in his arms as I sob.

“You don’t get to hurt me and cry as if you’re the victim,” I say.

“Angel, please, I didn’t mean to” he shifts so he can look into my eyes and wipe my tears. “If words are not enough,” he kisses me.

My lips are electrified, everything inside me burning. Needing, hating, mourning. I want to scream, instead I suck his lower lip hard enough to bruise and grip his hair. It earns me a grunt as he hauls my body to his, closing the gap between us.

His hand trails down my waist to press me where he needs me most. Moving against each other, friction and heat sparking embers within. And it’s still not enough.

Without leaving my lips, Mattheo turns us around. Hands locked around his neck, eyes closed, I follow his footsteps until I feel the wall behind me. His hand snakes under my skirt, caressing my thigh. A filthy moan leaves my mouth—begging, praying, craving. More.

He moves his finger where I’m most sensitive and I gasp, breaking our kiss. He brings his mouth to my ear, “I’ll show you just how sorry I am.” With his free hand, he tugs my hair until I’m staring at the stars, and runs his tongue from the base of my throat to my chin.

Muscle memory takes over as his fingers slide across my folds, knowing just where I needed him. My breathing gets ragged when he fills me up with his fingers, exploiting all the ways he can make me moan and whimper. “Fuck. I missed you, angel.”

I ride his fingers, hating his stupid voice and his messy hair.

He bites my neck, leaving marks and I hate his filthy mouth.

He moves relentlessly. I hate his eyes. I hate his hands. I hate his voice.

I burn until I’m overcome with white hot rage, coming undone for him. Shockwaves of pleasure writhe through me as he presses me for all I have.

A second before afterglow, in the quiet darkness, I hate myself most because I still love him.

“Come on angel, I’m not done apologizing,” he says, taking my hand, leading me to my dorm.

I never get to finish my cigarette.

series masterlist | previous chapter | main masterlist

A/N: If there was a quote for you and Mattheo in this series, exploring your past relationship, it would be:

"The love was there. It didn't change anything. It didn't save anyone...but it still matters that the love was there."

Thanks again to everyone who followed the series! ♡

Taglist: @hoeforvinniehackerrr @i-think-you-are-gr8 @thecraziestcrayon @adreamingpendulum @themarauderswife7 @midsoulz @ultramarinetovelvet @val-writes @lafrone @daisiesformylove @mildly-delulu @allebasi05 @enha-stan @skb4000 @nat1221 @s0urw00lf @helpimhopelesslyinlove @helendeath @optimisticsandwichgladiator

#mattheo riddle smut #mattheo riddle imagine #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo x you #slytherin boys #hp fanfic #hp fandom #harry potter fanfiction #amongemeraldcloudswrites #amongemeraldclouds angst

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swee7dream · 19 hours

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ilichil as agere caregivers ! nct 127 x f!reader

warnings feminine nicknames dni if you sexualize age regression in any way . author's note i guess this is my opening to start writing cg!127 and cg!wayv ! mahae can be found here and winwin's headcanons can be found in wayv's when it's out .

moon taeil (´ ∀ ` *)

he’s just so entranced with you and age regression in general.

“wait, that’s a thing you can do?”

he can’t keep his eyes of you when you’re feeling tiny, not because he thinks you’re in trouble or anything, but because he views you as the cutest thing in the whole world!

a grandpa-like caregiver. loves pinching your cheeks and pretending to eat you up! nom nom nom

not a big title user. he’s just moonie and ur his kid! his baby :3 his precious bit of starlight

got a rocking chair just to sit in with you to sing you lullabies when you have trouble sleeping!

what’s the opposite of an iron fist? that’s taeil.

if it’s past bedtime and you’re small or you don’t want to eat a certain food on your plate, you can bet one of two things will happen: a) he just lets you do what you want or b) bribes you with a sweet treat

you can try to bribe him in return the few times he puts his foot down, but he’s surprisingly firm. he’s not a pushover by any means.

“please?” you bat your lashes at him.

“no.” the little bugger puffs his cheeks right back at you.

the worst at playing with dolls /lh

“oh no, we got kidnapped!” you gasp, moving the bingo mini figurine in your hand.

“oh no...” taeil moves bandit in his hand with a voice lacking so much emotion it’s actually impressive.

he’s doing his best. try playing pretend instead! (he likes playing doctor the most)

seo youngho (￢‿￢ )

you got him wrapped around your finger! not that he’ll ever admit it

saw a cute dress? he got it for you. your stuffie’s arm ripped? he’s learning to sew for you.

purposefully hides pieces of the puzzle you’re building and feigns innocence just to see you get mad when you find out his schemes

“how’d that happen?” he pouts, cocking his head to the side.

if he every truly upsets you, he’s quick to apologize, pulling you into his arms and leaving kisses all over your cheeks until you’re laughing again because it tickles so much and he’s holding you so tight you can’t get away!

johnny loves being called daddy! he’s your daddy and you’re his babygirl!

loves cheesy, old-fashioned nicknames like honeybun, buttercup, cupcake… he just thinks you’re sweet, is what he’s trying to say

he loves when you sit on his lap and show him the coloring pages you finished while he was gone. he’ll make up stories off them like the purple elephant that wants to be a trapeze for the circus!

another big fan of playing pretend

his favorite game is dinosaurs, stomping around the house in slow motion with an evil toothy grin. you always manage to sneak away from his t-rex arms somehow but he’ll get you one day!

but johnny isn’t just a big goof. he knows when to put his foot down and is more 50-50 with it rather than taeil’s 90-10.

“i said no. put that back, please.”

his serious voice never fails to cause a shiver up your spine, settling you down within seconds.

when you finally decided to tell johnny, it took a minute for him to understand what exactly age regression is but kept the line of communication open. very open.

once, you were at work and your screen lit up with a message notification from him reading ‘do you like pacifiers?’

you almost beat him up

lee taeyong (.❛ ᴗ ❛.)

worrywart !

doesn’t wanna make your regression feel even the slightest bit off. prioritizes your safety and comfort

at the beginning, taeyong as a cg can be seen as… a bit much

in preparation for his first time caring for you when small, he bought so many things. just anything he saw mentioned just once in all of his research of agere.

from itty bitty gear to middle/teen gear, bubu bought it all. if you don’t use any gear at all and have the ice cold heart to tell him so, you watch the color drain from his face.

poor guy

he just likes to be prepared. there’s nothing he likes more than a good plan.

cooking together is always so much fun. never lets you near the knives or heat but likes to keep you around to be his taste tester!

“what do you think, sweet pea?” “so yummy, bubu!”

loves doing crafts with you, particularly finger painting. you do it regularly, always forgetting that taeyong’s going to make you take a bath when the two of you end up with paint all over your faces and clothes

if you are allow it, taeyong is great with bathtimes !! he’s got rubber duckies and bath crayons to play with while he washes your hair.

cackles like a witch with a cauldron when adding a bathbomb to the bathtub, saying he’s preparing ‘baby soup’

“mommy, stop bein’ creepy.” “sorry, bug (っ- ‸ – ς)”

nakamoto yuta (￣ω￣)

“so yeah, it was just me and this big panther booking it down the forest to get away from this bear.” “and then?!” “i dunno i made it up :3”

an evil, evil man that takes advantage of your imagination during your tiny time to make up stories only to not finish them!

“what do you think would’ve happened next, baby?”

evil, but a good storyteller that gives you ideas for games nearly everyday you suppose….

loves playing dress up and salon

learned to do your hair! it’s an ongoing process… how did you end up with one low bun and one high? don’t ask

your breath hitches because he pulled a little too tight and he drops everything. are you okay? are you crying? he’s sorry, so so sorry. you know what? let’s have ice cream for dinner

likes listening to acid black cherry while doing your (v-kei) makeup! lets you sit on his lap when its your turn to do his

“daddy’s making you a total rockstar, baby.”

lets you draw on him! might get one (or several) of your doodles tattooed on his skin permanently just because he likes it so much

cuddling is his true life’s passion. takes out all the pillows and blankets in the house to make a pillow fort for movie nights. if he has any left over he uses them to wrap you up into a burrito

kim dongyoung （´▽｀）

just smile and wave, doyoung, smile and wave

maybe he shouldn’t have introduced you to his friends… they help add to your mischievous streak

“bunny? kangaroo! …pogo stick?” “doie… ‘s obviously you.” “me?” “yeah! when you can’t get the stuff on the top shelf at the the store so you did like this. ‘member? doie so bad at charades...” “:D ?!”

simultaneously the most competitive and worst player when it comes to video games

says he’s gonna win as you load up animal crossing like ….? okay gramps

hates when you call him that so you do it as much as possible because you live to displease

always knows the right thing to say when you’re feeling big feelings that feel only bigger when you’re small

treats you like you’re made of porcelain, his fingers delicately wiping your tears away silently.

never tells you to not cry or to stop, just tries to makes the process of feeling your emotions as easy as possible by making sure you’re drinking as much water as you’re crying out and making sure nothing could trigger you further

when you first told him about your regression you weren’t sure what his reaction was gonna be. he just stared dead at you in silence for like 8 minutes and then whispered “yeah… that makes sense” to himself

what is that supposed to mean? you know as well as i

jeong yunoh o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

he really just wants you to think he’s cool

that’s his main thing. of course, you being comfortable and happy is first, but you thinking he’s cool is a close second

most of his cg work is actually done behind the scenes; trying recipes, researching agere tips, and learning different crafts so that when you’re finally little again he can see the sweet, sweet sight of your awe

if you two planned for you to have some tiny time after a long time spent without regressing because overwhelming stress and responsibilities, you can bet on jaehyun to have organized an entire mermaid scavenger hunt in your home at a 6pm on a wednesday evening

the reward is always a ticket for something like a veggie-free night or a warm hug (he’ll give them to you whether you have one or not)

he calls them baby tickets

yes, that’s really what he calls them. yes, he chose the name himself.

there’s a reason you don’t let him name your dolls or stuffies

you tried once, this is basically how it went:

“hyunnie, what you think?” “it’s a bear… and pink… what about bearie? like strawberry and bear. bearie, haha. get it?” “…”

likes being called mister! but it’s actually rare for you to call him anything other than hyunnie

“say ‘please’ and i’ll think about it.” “please, mist-”

he’s already swiping his card

dong sicheng ♡✧( ु•⌄• )

read here (when it’s published) !

kim jungwoo (☆^ー^☆)

the silliest!!!!! how can you not love snoopy

your number one supporter in every single thing.

“the way you colored the sky with cerulean blue instead of the standard blue is just a peek into the artistic genius mind you have, my dear. how is every single art piece of yours just flawless?”

your babbles? “you don’t say! you know, i never did like that scoundrel…”

loves playing doggy! he could be cleaning around the house but if you slip that dog ear headband on him he’ll drop everything to entertain you.

he’s shattered a few plates...

he’s the most loyal friend you could have. he herds all your sheep plushies together and sniffs out the clues to help you solve the mysteries!

he also lets you doodle on his face. he’s just so easy-going it doesn’t matter what. whiskers? meow! mustache? hm, yes, it’s quite becoming of him, he thinks. you stuck some gem stickers on his cheeks? he’s an alien from the moon.

likes playing pretend much more than playing with toys.

sulky when you choose to play with your dolls rather than him. when he’s literally right there!!! your best friend :(( your buddy :((

i don’t know how else to describe this other than a dog-like caregiver

energy is always up, even when its bedtime which can be counterproductive sometimes. although? not completely? he definitely helps you tire yourself out until you’re knocked out on the couch

his nickname for you is giggles !! your giggles are his favorite thing in the whole wide world and makes sure to tell you that often.

lee minhyung (ᓀ‸ᓂ)

read here !

lee donghyuck ʕ˙Ⱉ˙‧:ʔ

read here !

extra ! ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹

cg!johnny+yuta is being hit with whiplash every two seconds because they can either be the sweetest people ever or pranksters from the deepest depth of WICKEDNESS AND DARKNESS. they always, always, always tag team too, so it’s not like you can run to one when they other is trying to tickle you to death

cg!jeno+jungwoo is what happens when a baby is left alone with an old, tired dog (jeno) and his younger brother that has all the energy in the world (jungwoo)

cg!taeyong+doyoung has the same power imbalance as djj, leaving doyoung groveling at the ground even when he’s supposed to be the one taking care of the others

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fillingthescrapbook · 1 day

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Let's Talk About: Fantasy High Junior Year and Ragenarok (Part 1)

I shouldn't have watched the teaser for next week's episode prior to writing this because-- Well, now I'm even more pumped for the finale and my thoughts for this episode were already very jumbled to begin with--

But begin we shall!

"Fabian, is there anywhere you want to live?" is a hell of a line at the start of the episode--especially with the context of a Bad Kid needing to steer the fall of Fabian's house to anywhere in Elmville.

Lou and Emily going all in on a bit in the background while Ally, Murph, and Brennan were figuring out the logistics of something was funny as heck. Ally really has gone far from the Freshman Year where the allure of a bit would have certainly derailed them from the more serious figuring-out-the-stuff talk with button-up boys.

But the most important revelation this episode? SQUEEM HAS FINALLY REACHED ELMVILLE! They still have some distance to cover but they're here!

And, can I just say, Siobhan rolling quick for the group roll just before Murph could was clutch as fuck. I must admit though that I also felt sad that we missed out on a possible addition to the collection of "I have just as good a chance as any of you to roll good" bits. It did allow the Bad Kids enough time to squeeze in a short rest though, so, hats off to you, Siobhan!

Now, onto the battle itself:

A Rat Grinder going down QUICK got me in my suspicious era. Like, what is going on with these rat grinders? Why do they have such high level attacks and yet--

Oh, never mind. The others' HP are more robust.

Brennan clustering his bad guys is always funny to me. Especially when you see an Intrepid Hero fight the urge to moustache-twirl as they see Brennan unconsciously giving them an area of opportunity. And it happens twice this episode!

Zac--not Gorgug--being so angry at Mary Ann passing her saving throw was hilarious to me. Especially because another Intrepid Hero tried to stop her from saving--only for Mary Ann to be naturally resistant anyway.

Riz going full maniac, saying "make sure to cut his head off so he can't be revivified--" and then Murph pulling back… Murph, the actor that you are! Chef's kiss.

My absolute favorite part of the episode though was when Zac had to reroll a bunch of dice. Ally asked why, and Zac cited one of Gorgug's feats. Having Ally say "I thought we were honoring something" absolutely broke me.

It's funny to me how Kipperlily was created to be the foil of Riz--but she's not really Riz's nemesis. She's Murph's.

And I rejoiced when Brennan, pulling the Box of Doom out again, got a stern "put my partner down" from Ally. It's been a while since they returned to this bit. I thought they had forgotten their relationship.

With this season coming to a close… I have to say that it's really one of the most enjoyable seasons of Dimension 20 for me. Is it my favorite Intrepid Heroes season? I think A Starstruck Odyssey and the first season of The Unsleeping City are still fighting for the top spot… But Junior Year is definitely following those two.

Especially with Brennan finally gifting Ally with Ice Feast--not realizing the implications of said spell to his finale battlemap.

And lastly… the way Brennan said "reincarnate" at the top of the episode? Saying "re-ANKARNA-te Porter?" The yelp I yelped.

I can't believe the season ends next week.

#let's talk about #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high #brennan lee mulligan #lou wilson #ally beardsley #brian murphy #emily axford #zac oyama #siobhan thompson #d20 spoilers #dimension 20 spoilers

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dirtybitfic · 2 days

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COMPANY pt 1

Matt Sturniolo x y/n

contains~ business meeting , fight , slight degrading , little bit of flirting.

y/n pov -

Its currently 4 am and the only reason i'm awake is because my boss called me . I try my best not to fall back asleep as he goes on and on about shit I need to do before todays big meeting. Don't get me wrong I like my job but sometimes my boss drives me insane. I didn't sleep well last night which is not helping the current situation .

*phone call*

Matt - Y/n are you even listening right now

Y/n - Sorry yes mr sturniolo I'm just trying my best to stay awake right now

Matt - Well I will let you go back to bed but you better have things ready when I get to the office am I clear

y/n- yes sir I will have it ready

Matt- Good girl ill see you at 12

Y/n - yep see you in the afternoon

*phone call ends*

I woke back up around 8 and made my way to the office .

I always make it a point to look classy and wear business attire especially when we have big meetings like today. I wear an outfit that I know I look good in but comfortable enough I can sit through 3 hours and write notes for my boss.

I finished up my last task Mr. Sturniolo had giving me on the call earlier and sat at my desk waiting for him to arrive. I've been his assistant for about a year and a half. He's a pretty good boss though he can be harsh and assertive with me at times I try not to take it offensively .I know he just likes things a specific way .

I've been sitting for about 40 minutes when I get call from my boss and I immediately pick it up even though I don't exactly want too

*phone call*

y/n-hey mr sturniolo

matt-hi y/n I just called to tell you that the meeting has been pushed back too 1:30 our clients flight got delayed

y/n- Okay sounds good sir I just finished up the final touches on the presentation and the meeting room is set up and ready

Matt- Atta girl! thank you for getting all that done . Im sorry for calling you at 4 am I know it wasn't the best time

Y/n- Its okay I know you like things done perfectly so im not upset

Matt- Good well I'm parked down stairs and was about to go grab some coffee would you like to come with me?

Y/n- Sure why not ill head down now

Matt- Okay I took the blue convertible today so I have one of the claw clips you left in it a couple weeks ago so your hair doesn't get messed up

Y/n- Oh good thank you

Matt- Of course see you in a couple

Y/n- Yep heading down now bye

*Call ends*

One thing about my boss is he notices the little things most don't for example him knowing I wouldn't want to mess up my hair and keeping the clip in the car just incase I needed it. I know its just a small gesture but it makes me feel some type of way , a way I definitely should not be feeling about my boss. We have a slight age gap given he's 27 and i'm 23 which is yet another reason I should not have the thoughts that I do about him quit often.

I Made my way down to the private parking garage and walked around until I spotted my favorite car Mr Sturniolo owns. Obviously everyone loves a convertible but his is just perfection.

"Hey!" I greet him as I open the door and slide into my seat.

"Hi Good morning " he he greets me with a small smile.

" New suit?" I ask as I look over him noticing i've never seen him wear this suit.

" Yes actually it is" he says with a sigh .

" You don't like it do you?" I ask as I can tell from the sigh and his facial expressions he doesn't seem very excited about it.

" No I hate wearing colored suits but my brother insisted I wear it for todays meeting" he says with an eye roll making me laugh.

" Well for what its worth I think it looks good ... It brings out your eyes" I say smiling over at him.

he return the smile before asking where I want to go for coffee.

I told him to go to Philz so he heads there.

One thing that we do share is music taste so riding around with him is always good. We were listening to "Everlong by the foo fighters" when my phone started to ring.

I look down to see it is my ex who had recently broken up with me . I sigh as I immediately hit decline . He cheated on me for an entire year with a woman who owns a large art gallery and I only found out because I went with matt to buy art for his new penthouse he moved into and saw my boyfriend walking out of her office with lipstick on his face and an untied tie around his neck. Safe to say my boss saw a side of me I wished he never had.

I yelled at him for an hour outside the gallery when he finally broke up with me telling me " I don't love you anymore ... I actually never really did I just liked your body and living with you in your nice ass apartment " so obviously I punched him in the face and he cried like a bitch when I ended up "accidentally" breaking it .

Matt watched the entire thing and safe to say we did not end up buying anything from HER gallery. When we had gotten back to the car Matt had praised me for the way I handled myself and said he was proud of me for breaking his nose .

I felt bad acting how I did in front of him but i'm glad he didn't judge nor fire me for it.

" Zach again" he asks as he pulls into the parking lot giving me his full attention.

" Yes hes been trying to call me all week and I have been ignoring him " I answer as I throw my head back letting out a deep breath.

" They say you never know what you had until its gone . I have known your for a while now and I don't understand why he would cheat on you " he answers in a tone that shows anger and annoyance.

Im glad I have a boss who cares about me outside of work even though some would deem a conversation like this unprofessional it's very normal in our relationship.

"Yeah I don't know either but i'm over it I just want him to leave me alone" I answer ending it with a long sigh and looking over at him.

" Im sorry he's such an ass but we should go in and get our drinks and head back to the office" he answers as turns the car off and unlocks the doors.

I nod as we get out and make our way into Philz and order our drinks Matt always makes it a point to never let me pay which I appreciate but with the amount he pays me i'm very capable of buying my own coffee. I mean shit I live in a 3 bedroom open floor apartment all by myself , Just goes to show I make more than enough money.

We get our drinks and make our way back to the office to get settled in before the meeting.

As we were getting the projector up and running my phone started ringing again . I turn the ringer off and throw it in my bag rolling my eyes. It doesn't go unnoticed by matt when I catch a small smirk runs cross his lips. He doesn't smile too much , I notice that he only really smiles around his family and sometimes me if i'm lucky . He's intimidating which is one reason I was so scared when I first got the job but the thing that kept me going was one day about a month into working for him his mom came into the office and told me that I must be special because he went through 25 interviews before me and he had met me , He was very specific about how he wanted his assistant to act and behave and shockingly I guess that was me. He may have "liked me" but for the first year and a half he was cold and standoffish with me , he would practically ignore me unless he needed me for something or when he would tell me the things that needed to be done for the week.

He finally started warming up to me sometime last year and i'm really glad he did it makes the job 10 times better and enjoyable when he acknowledges and speaks to me .

I sat in my chair by the large windows as I zoned out looking over the city but was snapped out of it when our front desk guy told us through the intercom our clients were on the way up.

This new client we have is actually very exciting . The company that matt owns is a luxury advertisement production company . We make advertisements and plans on ways to promote products and grow the businesses me work with.

Our new client who is on their way up right now is a wine company . Their vineyards are located in the south of France and they have made a new champagne that is flavored with different fruits. They created a new flavor line which is peach, passion fruit , Pear and guava. At first I was skeptical of how well these flavors would taste and if they would really sell or not but after sampling them all I knew they were going to make amazing profit from the new collection.

I sat through thirty minutes of the meeting when my phone continuously rang and vibrated with calls and texts. I knew it was my ex and I started to get fed up so I stopped taking notes so I could just power off my phone.

I grabbed it from my bag with a roll as I saw 6 missed calls and 15 text messages that he had sent in the span of 30 minuets and started powering off my phone .

" You're assistant seems to be more interested in her phone than the importance of this meeting. I must say this is very unprofessional" I hear as my head snaps up and I make eye contact with one of our clients. He glares at me as he scolds me for being on my phone.

" i'm sorry I was just powering it off beca-" I try and explain myself but he immediately cuts me off before I get the chance.

" I don't want to hear any excuses . You need to learn how to respect the people who want to work with your company " he scoffs with a rude eye roll and I cant help the tears that start to fill my eyes.

I look at matt panicking but find him staring at me with an agreed look .

" i'm sorry would you excuse us for a second" matt says as he comes over pulling me out of my chair by my arm and dragging me out o the room.

"I-im sorry I didn't mean to-" I start to say as the tears stream down my face.

" Y/n you need to understand these are very important clients and if this goes right not only I will make a lot of money but so will you . I don't like the way he spoke to you but I will not compromise this deal by saying something to him. So we will take a few minutes for you to calm down and make him think that I set you straight and we will go back in" he says as he places a soft hand on my back soothing me .

I nod " yes sir" I answer as I calm my breathing and look up at him.

We keep eye contact as his eyes seem to grow darker . Something in me stirs as his hand moves up and down slowly on my back at some points getting so low he could grab my ass if he felt inclined too . I hater to say it but his soothing actions are turning me on. Ive always felt a tension between us but I used it aside just telling myself its his cold personality that makes every situation slightly intense .

He moves his hand to my chin holding it and moving my head up to really look at him . He slightly smiles " You calm down?" he asks in a deep voice that for some reason has me clenching my legs together.

"Yes sir i'm sorry for crying I just -"

"I know you don't like being patronized infant of people i've learned that throughout the years you've worked for me . Just be glad your well behaved or you'd really hate me " he says with what sounds like a small chuckle.

" why would I hate you?" I question as I step slightly closer.

"i'm not one to tolerate people misbehaving or defying me . You should know that by now" he answers in a more gravelly voice that has me clenching around nothing .

" right well umm should we go back in " I say in a wavering voice but clear my throat to try and play it off.

He smirks at me but nods his head .

He leads me back to the conference room with a hand on my lower back .

Im moving to open the door but stop when he start whispering to me.

" make it look like I corrected you okay " he whispers before opening the door .

I walk in as I distort my face to make it look as though I am upset and I move quickly to my seat and choose not to even look up at anyone .

I grab my computer and get to typing as matt starts back on the presentation and the clients make their comments and requests .

After about an hour the meeting comes to and end and they decide to go with us for their campaign.

" Me and my wife would like for you to come down to our vineyard in say 4 weeks and shoot promo videos and get photos for the videography does that time frame work for you Mr. Sturniolo?"

the man who blatantly degraded me asks as matt looks to me.

"y/n is the calendar clear that week?" he asks and I pull up his calendar that I schedule and go over it.

" Yes looks like there is only one meeting that week but its with gloria i'm sure we can reschedule it" I answer as I smile at both of them.

"Amazing well my wife is very excited for this campaign . She can be a bit much but what woman isn't right" he says jokingly to matt .

Matt smiles and nods as he leads him out of the office and to the elevator.

I audibly sigh and roll my eyes at his misogynistic comments , safe to say i'm not exactly thrilled ill have to deal with that man on a normal bases but its worth the money so I guess i'll just have to live with it.

Matt comes back in groaning and running his hands through his hair.

" I really do not like that guy" he says making me laugh.

" Trust me neither do I" I say making him chuckle and shake his head.

" He wants us to stay at his estate but I kindly declined . I told him We have many work calls we take and we wouldn't want to be a disruption " he says with a smirk .

I smile widely nodding my head

" Thank god I wouldn't want to be stuck in a house with that man for a day let alone an entire week" I say making him laugh.

" I'll book the hotel so you won't have to worry about that and we'll take the company jet " he says as he grabs his bag and powers off the projector.

" You sure I don't mind dealing with the hotel bookings" I say as I pack up my things as well.

" Yes I have a favorite hotel i've gone too many time there and I know they will give us amazing rooms and the view is amazing" he says as he walks over to me .

" Oh okay" I say smiling up at him.

His hand goes to my jaw like earlier as he moves his thumb softly back and forth .

I lean into the touch as he looks at me deeply like he's studying my soul.

" You did good today I know you're dealing with calls from that asshole and I appreciate you were powering off your phone " he says as he steps him closer to me .

I sigh as I avert my eyes

" Im sorry for causing our client to think of our company as less then because of my actions though" I say still not looking up at him.

" You did nothing wrong you're always a very good girl he's just an asshole who clearly doesn't respect woman"

I blush as I look up at him . His use of the term "good girl" today has gotten me feeling things I shouldn't.

He looks at me as I look up at him .

" If you ever need anything you call me okay . I know i'm your boss but I want you to consider me a friend too " he says as his hand slides down my neck to my shoulder.

His touch leaves goose bumps in its wake which i'm embarrassed about and I can tell he noticed my body reaction by the smirk that grows across his face.

" Yes sir I just wouldn't want to burden you with my problems you have enough to deal with as it is" I answer honestly .

He shakes his head sighing

" Sweetheart you could never be a burden no matter how hard you tried . You're the first assistant i've had for longer than 4 months which can only mean I like you very much and that is rare" he says making me smile .

" Thank you sir I like this job a lot and I hope to keep it for a very long time" I say as I step slightly closer . Our chest are almost flush against each other , im so close I can feel the heat radiating off of him.

" Trust me i'm not letting you go anytime soon " he says in a deep gravely voice that makes me feel such dirty things a literal whimper escapes me .

My eyes widen as I clear my throat and avert my eyes from his.

He grabs my face and turns it to face him again

" Did you just whimper " he asks with a smirk .

" What n-no I was clearing my throat" I say in a panic .

" Are you lying to me y/n " he asks in a teasing tone that almost has be whimpering again.

" No sir " I answer but avoid eye contact.

" Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth" he says in a demanding tone .

I feel as though i'm shrinking into myself as I look up at him .

" Im not lying to you I promise" I say as convincingly as I can.

" You better hope you're telling the truth" he says in a darker deeper voice that has me gulping .

" A-and why is that" I ask as I try and take a step back but bump into the table behind me.

" I don't like liars . Do know what bad lying little girls get y/n " he asks as he steps even closer and i'm forced to sit on the edge of the table as his body is positioned in-between my legs. If anyone where to walk in right now this would be a very compromising position to be in .

" No sir I-i don't" I say .

His entire demeanor changes his large presence now dark and cold as his hand moves to my neck pulling me closer as I gasp in shock.

"They get punished" he kind of growls more than speaks . My mouth opens but no words come out .

He lets go and steps back and goes back to his normal calm demeanor .

I sit in shock as he grabs his bag and starts walking to the door.

"Goodbye y/n see you Tuesday" he says in a kind of sing song tone that has me scoffing. He obviously finds it funny to leave me wet and speechless.

We've never had a moment like that sure we've had weird moments where a little flirting was involved but nothing like what the fuck that just was.

I hop off and grab my bag before rushing down the hall to the elevator . The second I get into my car I scream .

I don't exactly know why I did but it felt great.

I start up my car and put on my nighttime playlist and pull out of the parking garage and pull onto the bright light city roads.

The second I got home I went through all the messages and voicemails from Zach .

15 missed calls from Zach

37 missed texts

all consisting of " call me back" " Im sorry" " I love you so much please" " Fucking bitch answer me" " God your a cunt this is why I cheated on you" and a lot more .

I hate the fact that after listening to three of his voicemails i'm in full tears curled up on my floor in front of my huge floor to ceiling windows.

Im snapped out of my daze when I hear 5 loud bangs on my door . I jump up as my heart pounds . My apartment is the only one on this floor so its not like whoever it is has the wrong apartment .

I slowly make my way to the door when the bangs happen again this time harder .

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR Y/N" I hear Zach's voice from the other side .

I panic even more as I slowly go to open the door . The second I turn the lock the door barely open and a fuming Zach marches his way in.

He comes at me so fast I have no time to react . One hand is wrapped tightly around my neck as the other is grasping my hair so tightly I feel like my scalp is on fire.

" You think you're so fucking cute ignoring me huh don't you " he practically spits in my face.

" You-- cheated on me a-and broke up with me w-why are you mad" I choke on as I gasp for in in his tight hold.

" Don't you dare fucking speak to me like that . I said I was sorry but you just want to be a spoiled fucking bitch and ignore my calls" he bites out as his grip on my hair tightens and I scream out in pain.

" You think you are so perfect don't you good fucking too shoes but your just a pathetic little bitch who's unlovable " he shouts in my face as tears start to steam down my face and I cough as I try and pry his hand from my throat.

" I tried to love you I did but you are just so insufferable to be around you know that god your always so pleasant you never do anything bad you're fucking boring all you do is work and come home and sit around doing nothing like a pathetic little loser " He spits as he shoves me into the wall making me yelp.

His hand connects to my face as his fist hits my eye .

He has never acted like this before let alone hit me .

He immediately lets go and steps away also in shock of what he just did .

" I c-cant believe you actually j-just p-punch-ed m-ee" I say in a gasping panicked voiced.

"I-im sorry y/n I ... I didn't mean to I " he says as he steps further away with fear across his face.

"GET OUT GETH THE FUCK OUT " I scream as I fall to the floor and cry .

he runs out closing the door on his way.

My head is pounding my eyes isn't opening correctly and I haven't gotten off the floor in 2 hours.

My phone starts ringing making me jump but I turn it over to see "Matt Sturniolo(boss)" calling .

I don't answer because of the state i'm in and the last thing I want is my boss knowing wtf just happened .

I get a text

" y/f/m/l/n you better answer your phone this is very important" it reads. Judging by the fact he literally just used my full name I know I have to choice to answer his second call to me.

*phone call*

"H-hello" I say as I sniffle and try to make it sound like i'm not crying and my voice isn't stringed.

" Hey I know its late but the clients from today actually want us to come down Tommorrow and stay until the following Sunday and I already cancelled all the appointments this week that were a conflict so I need you up and ready at 10 am Tommorrow I will pick you up at 10 and well head to the airport" he rambles . I panic not knowing what to do I cant say i'm sick because he'll know thats a lie .

I stay silent as I continue sniffling trying to mask my situation .

" y/n are you there ? " he asks in a slightly worried tone.

"Y-yes its just that ... I can't leave Tommorrow " I say as my voice breaks with the last word.

" What why you obviously don't work Tommorrow so what is wrong?" he asks in more of an interrogational tone .

" I j-just cant okay " I bite back as tears start to stream down my face again.

" Y/n what's wrong are you crying " he asks his tone now soft.

"n-no " I try and say without giving away that i'm lying but obviously fail.

" I can hear you sniffling and your voice is choked up tell me what's wrong" he says in a sweet voice .

I sigh loudly " Zach came by earlier and he ..." I stop myself from finishing my sentence not wanting to tell my boss about the embarrassing events .

" He what y/n" his voice sounding slightly angry now.

" He yelled at me and said really hurtful things and then he ... he punched me " I answer in a squeaky raspy tone.

" HE HIT YOU" matt yells from the other side of the phone

"Y-yes" I say as more tears stream down my face .

"Thats it I'm coming to you is your door unlocked " he ask as I hear keys rattle in the background.

"Wait what n-no don't come here" I say in a panic . I do not want him seeing me like this its for one embarrassing and two he's my boss he shouldn't be coming to my apartment .

" Don't tell me no i'll be down there in 5 minutes that door better be unlocked"

I go to protest but the line goes dead.

As much as I love my apartment it doesn't help that Matt lives in the penthouse at the top floor of the building meaning he has easy access to come and see me if he really wants to hence why hell be down in 5 minutes .

I sit on my floor as I try and at least stop the crying before he gets here.

As i'm sitting calming myself my door opens and in walks matt.

I turn away from the door so he doesn't see my face.

" y/n where are y- why are you on the floor?" his voice rings as steps approach me .

I shrugged but burry my face in my arms .

I feel him sit next to me as his scent fills my nose . I sigh but still don't bring my head up .

" y/n look at me" he says in a soft sweet tone.

"No " I say as I shake my head .

"Y/n please you're safe with me you know that i'm not going to judge you" he says as his large hand soothe up and down on my back .

Im so embarrassed that at my grown age I'm crying infant of my fucking boos.

I lift my head and look at him as a look of anger and pain washes over his face.

" sweetheart" he whispers as he immediately pulls me into his chest cradling me . I feel as though i'm a little girl girl again being rocked back to sleep after a nightmare . I being sobbing in his arms as I choke out all the horrible things Zach called me and said to me.

" You are non of those things. Don't think for a second that what he says is true , You're are amazing , sweet, hard working and strong . He is a crazy ass motherfucker who didn't deserve you in the first place" he says as he rocks me slightly .

I for some reason feel inclined to crawl into his lap and bury my face in his chest . I know this entire situation should not be happening right now but I cant stop myself from doing it.

The thing is he lets me he pulls me closer as he smooths my hair and holds me to his chest tightly .

After god knows how long i've stopped crying and my breathing has become somewhat controlled.

I unbury my head from his chest and look up at him .

He smiles weakly

" My sweet girl" he says as his hand gently runs across my face wiping some tears away . I wince when his hand grazes my eye area.

" where are your pain meds ?" he asks as he runs his hand through my tossed hair .

" My bedside table" I answer in a whispered and exhausted tone.

" Alright come on lets get you upstairs " he says as he picks me up off his lap setting me on the ground and standing up then extending his hand to me , I take it as he pulls me up then follows me up the stairs to where my room is .

he tells me to get into bed as he runs down to the kitchen getting me water and rushing back up .

" which table right or left?" he asks .

I try and remember which one but cant so I just shrugged and answered that I couldn't remember so he goes to the rightsize on first .

He opens it and his mouth pops open as he looks at me .

"w-what are they in there " I ask in confusion as to why he looks shocked .

he just stares as me and slowly shakes his head .

It dawns on me after a couple seconds that that is the one I keep my "personal items in" . My body flys up in bed as I rush to close the drawer .

" Im so sorry I forgot about keeping those in that one I ... god thats so embarrassing.

" I never thought of you as the type to own things like that" he says with a laugh making me groan and hide my face in a pillow.

"Im only messing around with you , i'm not uncomfortable about seeing that its normal" he says as he walks to the other table finding the Advil and pouring out two in his hand .

" Take these to her with the swelling before it gets worse" he says as he walks over to me .

" were seriously just going to breeze over the fact that you ... my boss just say my ... "

" toys yes now take these" he says shoving his hand in my face . I sigh as I take them out of his hand and toe them into my mouth then take the water he had in his hand and swallow them down.

" Now i'm going to help you pack . Where are your suitcases " he says as he start walking around my room searching .

" You're actually joking right there is no way I can go looking like this" I say in a bratty tone . I didn't mean to use that tone its just the way it came out.

" First of all watch your tone but yes you're still coming and it will get better in a day or two and we don't have to start the campaign shooting until Tuesday so we can just stay in until then or when we go out you can just wear sunglasses. Now suitcases where are they?"

I groan but point to the door "hallway closet " I say as I yawn .

He nods and walks to the door opening it and coming back 5 seconds later with two suitcases in hand.

" Okay what do want to pack first pants, shirt ...? " he ask as he sets them out on the couch I have on the wall opposite my bed.

"Well I usually pack pants first "

" Okay where are your pants" he asks looking at me .

" Bottom three rows in the closet" I answer

" Any specific ones you want ?" he asks

" You know what how about you pick 4 pairs and i'll say yes or no " I say as I getting extra comfy in bed .

" Yes ma'am " he says jokingly as he makes his way to my large walk in closet.

He comes out 2 minutes later with 4 pairs in hand.

He holds up the first pair , I nod and he smiles " I really like these ones" he says as he happily packs them in my bag.

Second pair - I happily nod and he packs them.

Third pair - I dead pan as he laughs actually laughs . " You've gotta be kidding those were all the way at the back " I say as I give him a look. " why do you even own these " "They were part of a halloween costume like 2 years ago" he just shakes his head and sets them aside .

Fourth pair - " Matt this is a business trip" I say as a I shake my head no . " I know that sweetheart but we don't have to be in business attire the whole time" " I guess your right okay yes pack those"

"Okay next skirts pick 3 they are hung on the left side along with the dresses pick tow of those" I instruct him as I try and stay awake .

He comes back out with a big smile which i'm finding slightly unsettling given ive never seen him so cheerful before

dress one - " absolutely not"I say. He sighs and sets it aside

Dress two - I smile and nod yes . He neatly packs it

Skirt one - immediate yes

Skirt two - Yes

After 45 more minutes i'm fully packed except for underwear and socks.

"Okay last things are undergarments " he says as he looks at me waiting for to tell him where they are.

" Don't worry about those ill pack those in the morning " I say as I wave him off.

" I have a feeling if I let you do that you'll forget " he says as he tilts his head . I hate to admit but he probably right.

" fine okay top shelf of the drawers on the right wall" I say as my face flushes red. My boss definitely should not be handling my underwear and bras but at this point i'm to tired to care.

"wow these are organized so nicely" I hear him say from inside my closet.

Their's silence for a second before he comes out with a handful of my sets with a smirk on his face.

He sets them on top as well as socks .

"Okay done now shoes " I tell him where the shoes are and he picks all good options so that was easy.

He packs up my makeup and skincare bag putting them in the suitcase with the shoes .

" Okay fully packed and ready to go" he says as he pushes both cases by the door .

"Thank you Sir you really didn't have to do all of this" I say sincerely

" First of all as much as I love you calling me sir when we are outside the office call me matt you calling me sir makes me feel fucking old" he says with a smile.

I choke on air at his beginning comment with makes him chuckle.

" Im grateful I have you as a boss matt"

" Im great full to have you as my assistant y/n "

We both share smiles before he turns on my ceiling fan and comes and sits on the edge of my bed.

" I want you to know I genuinely do care about you y/n not just because you are my assistant but because your all around a great girl " he says as his pulls his hand on my comforter covered leg giving it small shake.

" Thank you matt really I couldn't ask for a better boss" I smile at him with half open eyes.

" I'll let you get some rest and ill take your extra key so you can sleep as long as you can and ill just come down and grab your bags and make sure your up and awake by 10" he says as he pats my leg and stands up.

" You sure I don't mind setting and alarm " I ask .

" Im sure now get some sleep and ill see you in the morning "

"Okay well see you in the morning and thank you again really "

" Of course . Good night y/n "

" Good night matt"

God what the fuck just happened ...

#matt sturniolo #fanfiction #dirty nasty #boss

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