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snailsgoingdowntown · 1 year

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Guilt Tripping - Yan! Diluc

Yandere Diluc x Fem! Reader

part 1 of the “Baby Trapping” series

Warnings: Toxic relationship, general yandere themes, guilt tripping (I think), emotional manipulation, slight victim blaming (I think?), drugging, implied future physical violence (Not towards reader), possessive and obsessive thoughts and behavior, overprotectiveness, overbearing actions, controlling actions/mindset, unhealthy and toxic mindset, paranoia, implied Yandere! Albedo (Towards a different reader of perhaps the same mini-series of this).

Not sfw warnings: Baby trapping, dub-c0n/non-c0n, unprotected sEx, cumming inside without permission, unconsensual and unethical use of aphrodisiacs, vaginal fingering, clothed grinding, loss of virginity (both parties and totally didn't forget to add this warning until now)

Diluc is straight up gaslighting himself in this. He’s aware of how awful he is but keeps justifying it lmao.

Please tell me if I missed any warnings that are needed.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT condone any of the toxic behavior and thoughts that may take place in this work of fiction. None of this should be romanticize or even considered normal as it is very toxic and very dangerous. If you find yourself in such a situation, please seek help if able to.

DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

WARNING: DUE TO TUMBLR’S SHITTY TAGGING SYSTEM, NOT EVERY TRIGGER WARNING WILL BE TAGGED, SO PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS THAT ARE WRITTEN ABOVE. THANK YOU.

MINORS AND AGLESS/BLANK BLOGS DNI OR YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. THANK YOU.

Unedited.

Word count: 5134k

===

Diluc was aware that he could be… overbearing, at times. He’s aware that his presence can be suffocating, that he can be a bit delusional at times, and that he’s a bit controlling when it comes to you. But be doesn’t mean to do that on purpose – you just manage to bring out both the worse and the best out of him.

Whether or not you’re aware of that fact is up for debate.

He’s been preparing for the day you snap and talk back, or to take some ‘much needed’ space from the relationship. He can’t deny that your sanity is slowly withering away the more you deal with him. Again, he doesn’t mean to make you so stressed.

He just wants what’s best for you, as long as you come back into his arms. There are understandings at times, where you listen instead of charging away like a bull. He knows that you know he cares deeply for you, loves you to the moon and back. That he’d be willing to do almost anything for you.

Anything but this.

“I’m breaking up with you.”

One sentence, five words, is all it takes for his words to come crashing down around him. ‘I need a break’ implies you’ll be back after a week or so. It’s happened once or twice throughout your entire two years of your relationship. And it never lasted more than a week, max.

Diluc can feel the thin thread snapping like a nose around a neck. He swears that the world comes to a halt at your words, seeing nothing but white. Is he undergoing shock? Perhaps he heard you wrong. Yeah, that’s it – you must have said something else. A prank maybe? Or maybe you mixed up your words.

“What… what do you mean?” He hates the way his voice cracks, how shaky his hands become, even when they’re clenched hard enough to snap metal into two. Your facial expression doesn’t show any signs of playfulness.

There’s nothing playful about this situation.

You let out a sigh, fingers massaging your temple. “I said… I’m breaking up with you. I can’t… I can’t do this anymore. I can’t deal with you anymore.” Your voice cracks, and there’s a silent sob. There’s a huff, an intake of air.

You’re trying your best not to break down in front of him. And he’s doing the same, fists clenching and unclenching as he thinks of something to say. What should he say? That you can’t leave? It’ll only make things more complicated, making you hostile towards him.

He can’t have that. He just can’t. but even so, he finds himself about to utter those words out loud. He bites his tongue.

“…I thought I was good to you. While… I do understand that I can get overbearing at times… I thought I was a good lover to you regardless of.” He tries to keep himself in check. Diluc was nothing but a good gentleman in your eyes, so he acts as such. Although, that illusion may be gone now.

“That’s the problem! You think you’re a good boyfriend. But you’re not. you’re so… overbearing and controlling. I can’t even talk to people you don’t approve of!” Your own thread had seemingly snapped, leaving nothing more than rage behind. Quite, dull rage that’s too exhausting to come out at once.

“You say it’s for my own good… that I need your protection…”

“I never said that- “

“You implied it. Every. Single. Time. you always imply it.”

There’s nothing but silence. There’s a guilty conscience. He can’t ignore it, but he won’t address it. Because that means he’ll have to let go. And he won’t, not even in death, where hell will surely drag him down. He’ll drag you if he has to.

“We can… let’s just talk about this, okay? No need to make any rash decisions.” He’s talking out of his ass right now. “It’s… been a stressful week. It’s late and we both got out of work not too long ago. Let’s just… how about you come over?”

You don’t say anything, not at first. A glimmer of hope. Yes, everything will go back to normal, over a glass or two, ending with you being a whimpering mess as he grinds against you. Just like always.

“No. I can’t… I won’t do that. It always has the same outcome anyway. We never ‘talk’, you just sweet talk your way out, and it ends with some type of sexual activity.” You shake your head, taking a step back. He takes a step forward.

It feels wrong for you to stand so far away. Alien. You should be next to him, no, in his arms as he soothes you. Reality and fantasy don’t mix well, he realizes. “Please,” he tries again, choking on air.

It can’t end like this. It can’t end at all.

“Diluc… I can’t. I just can’t. I know it may be hard for you to understand but, whether you realize it or not… you treat me like a doll. A pretty, fragile, glass doll.” You don’t look him in the eyes, probably can’t.

To be fair, it felt worse on your own end. You loved this man. You wanted to marry him. But it’s in past tense and you’re not sure if you can keep up this happy façade. He’s nothing but controlling at this point, overprotective, suffocating. You can’t live in denial anymore.

Another sigh, another sob. With every step he takes towards you, you take one back. There’s an invisible wall between you, too hard to shatter. At least completely.

“Hey… let’s talk again in a week. When the steam blows off, okay?” You try not to break, he sees it. The way your body tenses, the slight tumble. He makes an effort to not point it out. “Please?”

And you cave, breaking down, wailing like a child. You don’t move away, only flinching as he closes in on you, gently and slowly wrapping his arms around you. his grip on you is loose, not wanting to chase you away. Gentle, he must be gentle.

It’s always worked in the past. He just needs to tweak a few things to guarantee victory. Anything for you, no matter how shady it may be. His morals become dubious when it comes to you.

A few minutes pass before you answer.

“Alright.”

Truthfully, you didn’t want to go, your resolve going down the drain whenever it came to you. But you had already promised you would, weak in that moment. But he knew. He knew that you would eventually succumb to his wishes. It happens every time.

And it ends with heated kisses, hands exploring each other’s bodies, promises to wait for the full act after marriage huffed into your ears. Despite the bulge straining in his pants, hazy eyes that kept looking at your kiss swollen lips, he never did anything you were uncomfortable with. And for that, you were grateful. But it doesn’t excuse his other behavior.

Something didn’t feel right. You were nothing short of tense, weary of what’s to come. Would he try to pull something? Or procced to guilt trip you once more, as unknowingly as usual? You could never tell with him, despite dating for two years.

Two years and he became a different person.

No. Beneath that gentlemanly exterior lies a control, obsessive and possessive freak. And you fell for it, the charm, the words, the looks. You dug your own grave without even knowing. And now it’s time to dig your way out, no matter how painful it may be.

You just hope your resolve will stay strong.

It must.

Diluc was nervous. It was more common these days, a nervous Diluc. He can’t help it but to be nervous around you. You were just so pretty, adorable, irresistible. And there was a time where you thought the same, where you couldn’t even take your eyes off of him. And yet, you don’t anymore.

He’s aware why. It’s because of him. But you need to understand was for your protection. He has too many enemies, there’s too much danger in the outside world. Surly, you would come around eventually, right?

Wrong. He was so, so wrong. He should have kept up with the gentle approach, no matter the amount of years it might have taken. It’s not too late to restart… right?

Just act the way you always portrayed him as. His mask has slipped too much too quickly. And now, he needs to fix everything as quickly as possible. The question is how to.

He glances at the wine bottle. A little drug as curiosity of Sir Albedo… a new and up coming drug. An aphrodisiac is what he called it. It was still in its developmental stages, but harmless. He was even given the right dose.

A questioning look in the alchemist’s eyes, no concerns were voiced. Most likely thought it wasn’t his business. And besides… even the esteemed Alchemist Albedo Kreideprinz had skeletons in his closet. Likeminded people must stick together, right?

And thus, the aphrodisiac was handed to him under the table, and now in this ‘new’ and ‘unopened’ bottle of wine. The cork was a new one, the previous one hastily thrown into the trash, covered with other discarded things. Not a smooth cover-up, but one you wouldn’t notice. And, if you were to ask for juice, he even drugged that beforehand.

He flinches slightly when a servant comes up to him, announcing your appearance. He takes in a deep breath before grabbing the bottle and two glasses, making his way to the study. When he gets there, he pauses. Would he be able to pull this off?

If you do ask for it, he has your consent, right? Yes, you wanted to save yourself for marriage but…

He shakes his head, ridding himself of those thoughts. He’ll back down if he thinks about too much. So, he takes a deep breath, straightens himself. His feet feel heavy as he walks into the room. He keeps the door open.

“(name). You came.”

You jolt at that, whipping your head around to see his figure at the doorway.

“Yes… just for a bit. This isn’t a casual visit, after all.” You built a wall around yourself, trying to smile but failing. He doesn’t comment on it.

“Ah. I suppose that’s… right.” Awkward silence, your hands tightly clasping together. His own grip on the glasses and bottle are tight as well. Swiftly, he places the objects down on the table in front of you. Everything has to be perfect. This night needs to end on a good note.

“Wine?” he asks, eyeing the way your jaw tenses as you hesitate to answer. You want to say no, he can see it, feel it. And hopefully, you won’t. His legs are already shaking like a newborn foal’s.

“I… sure.” A quiet sigh of relieve, and he opens the bottle, a loud ‘pop’ echoing in the room. You don’t take your eyes off of it. You’re weary of him. And he doesn’t have the right to complain or even feel offended.

Because you were right to be weary. To be weary of him.

He pours you a glass and himself one. He’s going to take the drug with you. God, he’s already silently regretting this. Not because he’s tricking you (although that’s part of it), but because he’ll have to explain, in detail (something he dreads, but a favor is a favor) of the results. He hates himself for being used a test subject and ragging you into it.

He can’t feel bad, considering he was the one who chose this route.

“Thank you…” you say as he passes a glass to you. He sits in front of you, the plush chair soft against him. He takes a sip.

“So… about our relationship… do you truly want to end it? We can work through this together.” He croaks out, trying his best not to ramble. He takes a deep breath, calming his nerves. He can do this.

“… I’m not sure if this relationship is savable. Two years and you’ve just gotten… worse. Much worse than you have gotten better. It’s like you’ve been possessed.” He can see your eyes water up, but you don’t let them fall.

He wants to wipe them away.

“What do you mean?” He’s never felt so scared in his life. He hates this. He hates himself. “It’s just… I know I can get overbearing, and I promise that I don’t do it on purpose-“

You cut him off, “That’s the problem. You don’t do it on purpose. It’s harder to resent you that way.”

Resent him? What do you mean by that?

“I don’t… I don’t know what to do. You’re… you used to be a good boyfriend. Someone I wanted to marry… but you’re not that same person anymore. And I’m not sure if we can fix this… if you can fix yourself. I’m not a therapist… yet you treated me as one for years.”

Your shoulders slack and you don’t make an effort to look at him. You don’t make an effort to drink the wine either.

He can feel his heart breaking. What should he do? What can he do? Crying (a rare sight indeed) won’t do anything. It’ll only prove you right if he cries and begs for you to reconsider. He needs you to drink the wine. A good amount of it.

He takes another swing, enough to the point the glass is almost empty. Too much at once, he hasn’t even eaten yet. He wants to eat you. But not when you’re crying like this.

“I’m… I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware that I was that… inconsiderate.” Ever so slowly, he takes small steps towards you. You don’t resist when he gets on his knees, gently placing his head on your lap. His arms wrap around your legs. And, almost as if it was natural, your hand comes town to thread fingers through his hair.

Even when you ‘resent’ him, you still comfort him. You really were too good for him. But it’s because of that he doesn’t want to let go. No. he’d never let you go. He’ll drag you to hell if he has to.

“… To think the esteemed Diluc would beg on his knees… hah,” a humorless laugh that shakes him through his core. You sound tired, so, so tired. You’re really going to give up on him. Was he really that bad? Sure, maybe he overshared, at times, and was a bit controlling, but…

He never hit you. Never raised his voice at you.

He’s in denial. He doesn’t want to admit to his mistakes right now. He’ll do it (probably) after you two make up. He’ll do it once you say you won’t leave, that you won’t give up on him, on the relationship. You’re all he has left.

His father’s dead, his ‘brother’ is a spy, he can’t really get along with anyone on an emotional level. Anyone except you. You know this, so why are you putting him through this? Can’t you see he needs you?

God helps the poor soul would dare take you away.

“… I’m sorry. I really am,” useless, he’s so useless right now. Helpless, he hates himself, he hates you. “I… can’t lose you. I love you, you know that, right?” Like he wasn’t the one pushing you away with his behavior and actions.

He’s a horrible person, a dreadful and emotional abusive boyfriend. The naked eye can’t see it, but a trained one can. Likeminded people can. The victim can.

“Diluc… sit down, okay? You’re going to make yourself sick,” you run your fingers through his red mop of hair before retreating it. No, no, no, you can’t do that. You just can’t.

You have to drink the wine. You need to understand he’s protecting you. You need to understand he needs you. So, stay, please.

Don’t make things even more complicated.

“… do you love me?” He looks up, eyes glossy and he watches as your strong façade crumble. He was your weakness as you were his. You’re perfect for each other, however toxic the relationship may be.

“I… I don’t know anymore. I feel like I love you, but I know I shouldn’t.” Shaking your head, you gently push at his shoulders. The effort is weak, almost meaningless. He gives a squeeze before getting up and returning to his seat.

It’s when he sits down, head falling into his hands, when you take a swing. He hears you slam the glass on the mahogany wood. Hope lights up in his chest, but even so, it feels so wrong. But he needs to do this. For him. For you.

How selfish of a person he was.

“… I can’t promise I won’t fall back into the habit, but –“

“You said that last time. And here we are, again. You say you’ll do better, that you’ll listen. Sure, you do, but only for a week. And then the cycle repeats.” You sigh out, now crying, finally breaking down despite everything.

Sobs, ugly sobs that he hates to hear. He’s not sure when he got up, or how long he’s been hugging you, but he knows that you need comfort. Maybe not from him, but he’s the only one here anyway. The servants are outside, cleaning the yard, tending to the grapes, shooing of pests.

Just you and him. No-one will hear, and even if they did… who are they to question their boss? Money talks.

You stay like that, for a while. Crying in his arms as he strokes your hair. He’s not sure when you had stopped, and completely forgotten about the drug.

He only remembers it when his body starts to heat up. And the same must be said for you, as you’re quivering in his grasp. The way you quiver whenever he drags you across his crotch, erection making contact with your clothed pussy.

Like right now, your hips rolling against his as he practically dragged you to the couch in the study once you started to kiss out of pure lust. You’re panting above him, eyes shut tight. Maybe you didn’t want to see him. He hates it, but that’s okay. As long as you’re here, with him, and not thinking of another man.

“Fuck… my body’s hot. I’m scared yet I can’t stop… did you put something in the drink?” You question him, voice broken and breathy as you keep rolling your hips. Harder, faster, more friction, you need him as much as he needs you. He’ll get you, and you’ll have him.

Like it’s supposed to be.

“Are you… mmh… that weary of me?” You’re far too gone to properly hear him, chasing pleasure above answers. His gloved fingers tug at your skirt, wanting it off. He wants to see you bare. Patience... patience, he tells himself.

A squeal, mouth open and he can’t help but kiss you. saliva everywhere, any pretense of a breakup gone. For now. And yet you both don’t care, delving into the pits of pleasure that’ll never be enough. He bites your lips hard enough to draw blood, you claw at his neck deep enough to see crimson.

You hurt and take, hurt and take. You break his heart, he’ll break your mind on his cock. Just… be good.

“Diluc… wedding… I want to wait – oh! – but… ah… not sure if I can…” you’re groping yourself, thumb ribbing at where your nipple would be. Too many clothes, hot, clit throbbing while grinding against him like there’s no tomorrow. Diluc takes this chance to tease you, just a bit.

“Wedding… you still want to marry me?” There’s a slight teasing to it, and he proceeds to kiss your neck. Gently, gently, so gentle you want more. He wants to drive you crazy. “But, of course, if you want it now, I won’t say no…”

Another moan, another messy kiss. Your lips are raw by now, and you’re not sure when he dragged the front of your shirt down, sucking on the bare skin before him. He bites your neck, leaving marks, he gropes your breasts, your hands now tugging at his hair.

He hisses at the sting, but it only drives him to do more. His free hand dives under your dress, the skirt of it wrinkled now.

“Diluc… please, fuck, I need you,” you breathe out, grinding against his hand as he teases you through your underwear. Slowly, he brings his hand back, using his teeth to take his glove off. Almost, he’s almost there. He needs to loosen you up. Hopefully, hopefully this drug will help with the pain.

Ah. Blood.

He needs to do this in the bedroom, easier to change the sheets.

You’re naked in no time, and despite the drug running through your veins like fire, you’re still scared. Very scared, and he feels so horrible about it. and yet, yet he can’t stop himself for shit. He’s horrible, shitty, controlling, obsessive, possessive, and desperate. Paranoid to a fault, he plans on tying you to him via family.

It’s hard to raise a child on your own. Reputation is important, and everyone would lose respect for you, for a good while at first. And besides… they would know who the father was. If they inherit his features, be it the red hair or ruby eyes, they’ll know. They’ll blame one of you, both of you, taking one side or the other.

Thus, it’s just overall easier to stay together, avoiding controversy. A horrible and risky plan. But you would need the support, the funds, the father. It’s harder, nearly impossible to run away from him in such a state.

“Hey… it’ll be okay. I’ll take it slow, alright?” He reassures you, smiling down at you gently. He’s always imagined you like this – a panting mess, lips kiss swollen, hair sprayed around his pillow and your hair. Bite marks everywhere, nipples tendered from being sucked on so much.

He’ll make a mental note to be more gentle next time. But for now, he trails down his hand, fingers ghosting over your burning skin. Shaky breaths, and he can’t take his eyes off of the way you stare downwards. He’s naked too, his own hickies littering his neck like a necklace.

“G-gentle…,” you breathe out, legs shaking in both fear and anticipation. You can’t wait, and neither can he. So he doesn’t, tracking your slick slit once before slowly entering. A gasp, and h looks up to make sure you weren’t in too much pain.

Instead, he’s met with the sight of you biting your lips, pleasure written all over your face. The drug works, it’s helping with the pain. Making things far easier than he thought it would be. He’ll make sure to thank Albedo to the moon and back.

“Diluc…” He’s brought back to reality when you whimper his name, and he softly shushes you. If you say his name like that one more time, he might just slip in without any prep. Without any consideration.

“Shh… there’s no need to rush. Let’s try to take our time, okay?” He kisses your forehead, finger curling slightly inside you. The way you arch your back is heavenly, the drug making you far more sensitive. “I’ll take good care of you. Promise.”

Nodding, you relax, allowing him to add a second finger. It feels rushed despite his words, but you don’t comment on it. You can’t, not when he’s curling them oh so deliciously. And he knows this, he’s not completely lost in lust just yet. He needs to drown you in pleasure, drive you crazy with it before he succumb to his own desire completely.

Just a bit more.

The squelching echoes in his room, bouncing off the walls. His ribs had become a drum, his heart the stick. Small, needy breaths that leave your lips, crying out when he curls his fingers at a certain angle. Oh. He found it.

Your g-spot.

He’s heard of it, and thought it was rubbish at first. Until Adelinde smacked his head when he suggested such a thing. The Head Maid made sure to educate him on sex that day, showing diagrams and pictures, along with books written about the subject. He’s almost entirely forgotten about it.

“There?” he asks, repeating the action once more. You nod your head several times and in quick succession – too lucid to properly beg, too desperate to fully think it thoroughly. “Such a needy little thing,” a third finger elicits a hiss from you, causing him to pause. He waits until you give him the green light.

“It – it feels weird… but good at the same time. Is this normal?” Croaking, you’re croaking out sentences now, and Diluc resists the urge to kiss you until you run out of breath. Your fingers grasp at his shoulders, trembling slightly. He can’t tell if it’s from fear or pleasure.

For his own sanity, he hopes it’s the latter.

“I’m… not sure. I think it is. Just tell me if it’s too much, and I’ll slow down.”

He didn’t say he would stop.

Diluc sees the worry in your eyes, the questions he won’t answer, and he feels guilty. It’s far too late to stop, and even if you were to ask him of it, he wouldn’t be able to. So he gives you the illusion of choice, and from the way your eyes travel down to where he’s fingering you, he can only guess you chose to ignore the reasoning in your head. What a good girl you are for and to him. Like always.

“Diluc… Diluc…” your eyes shut tight, breathing heavier as he fastens his pace, fingers pumping in and out while curling all the same. You need this too, right? He can’t force you if you were the one who asked for it.

Your belly tightens, and hips grind against the hell of his palm. You’re almost there, he thinks. You’re becoming wild, all pretense of rationally gone with the wind. He’s there, he’s there, you’re there, shivering in the palm of his hand. Like you should be.

“Ah, ah, fuck!” One more buck of your hips and he feels something wet. Upon looking down, he notices something red, very thing and small, mixed with a clear liquid. Did you cum? He feels bad for making you bleed already*.

Your chest heaves, and for a moment, he’s afraid you’ll come back to your sense. You’ll hate him for sure. But his own body is burning, cock twitching, and he’s going to die if you resist. Please, just make everything simple and easy. Please, for both of your sakes.

He gives you time to recover despite the urge to fuck you silly. Patience, patience, at least pretend to be a gentleman he tells himself. Anything and everything for you. Except letting you go.

“Do you need a breather?” gently, gently he removes his fingers, trying his best to treat you nicely. He tries not to grit his teeth when you nod your head. He’s already doing something awful. He needs to make you comfortable, at the very least.

A few minutes before you calm down, laying flat on your back, hands leaving him and choosing to grip his sheets instead. You’re distancing yourself from him. A bit lucid, but enough to resist.

“Alright… please be gentle,” closing your eyes, your arousal is still there, you still need him as badly as he needs you. He doesn’t wait a second to hover above you properly. His place, this is his place, you’re his and will always be his. You signed your faith the moment you appeared in his life.

“Gentle…,” he tells himself, taking in a deep breath. It stings you when he pushes in, slowly and gentle like he promised. Hands grip your hips, and he leans back on his heels a bit. You gasp, from pleasure mostly, and he stills. Be a gentleman in appearance, at least.

One second, two seconds, and at ten he starts to move. a deep sigh of pleasure from you both, yours higher than his. The tone was different compared to when you dragged your hips across his, clothes separating you. But now, now he can feel everything – the thought of a condom never having crossed your mind once. Good, everything is sailing smoothly.

“You’re, ngh, tight… fuck, you’re driving me crazy angel.” Unexpectedly, you mewl at the nickname, and without meaning too, he gives a hard thrust. Fuck, you’re going to be the death of him. One thrust, two thrust, and you’re begging him to fuck you harder at the fifth one, legs wrapping around his waist and hands clawing at his chest.

He loves you like this; he wants you remain so needy for him. “Diluc! Fuck, don’t stop!” Both blood and slick cover his cock and make a mess on his bed. He’ll have to give you a warm towel after this, a glass of water. And a lie about cumming inside.

“It feels good, fuck why did we wait so long?” His hips can’t stop moving as he questions you. You don’t answer, you can’t when you’re moaning like a whore. And he loves it, he loves the fact that only he can make you this way. He loves the fact that he’ll be your first and last partner.

He might hurt a man who would dare to attempt to do the same.

It doesn’t last long, neither of you do. He makes sure to circle your clit with his thumb, wanting to bring you more pleasure. You needed to finish with him. You needed to be distracted from the feeling of his cum painting your womb white.

And when he does, he lets out a low groan, your squeal music to his ears. he holds you tight until his balls are empty. And ever so slowly pulls out, careful to not alarm you. His goal was done, and hopefully, this’ll be enough to get you pregnant.

If not, he’ll come up with other plans.

“I love you…” one of his hands comes down to wipe away the sweat from your forehead. Your skin is sticky, eyes dazed. It’s a sight he’ll never forget.

You don’t answer, not at first.

“I… I love you too.”

A soft peck and he’s up to soak a towel in warm water. You’re too tired to check your lower half, eyes closing against your will. But it’s okay, it’s Diluc after all. Surely, he wouldn’t do anything… right?

As for Diluc… he’s already coming up with baby names.

===

A/N:* - tmi but the very first time I got fingered, I bleed a bit lmao. I don’t know how it is for everyone else, so I just used my own experiences. Seriously though, acting like Diluc in this fic is fucked up. Please don’t do that.

#Yandere #tw:yandere #yandere genshin #yandere diluc #yandere genshin impact #yandere diluc ragnvindr x reader #diluc smut #diluc ragnvindr x reader #genshin x reader #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin impact x reader #diluc x reader

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growling · 23 days

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*average self-proclaimed safe space tumblr blog voice* I soooooo support people with schizophrenia that must be so hard to you anyway I just saw some weird looking woman talking to herself right outside my house im fearing for my life should I call the cops. Yeah dude I support all the adhd havers in the chat just try to pay attention when I talk to you it's not that hard it's like the least you could do to show some regard for the other human being in front of you. Like it's fine to have memory problems but why did you forget this one thing in particular that was important to me do you like not care or anything you should try harder. I am one of the only real mental health advocates to still exist in this world I hear your struggles that being said I hope I never get to meet one of those irl sociopaths or people with aspd whatever they call them now they're so freaky and they can blend into society so well you might never know if you're actually face to face with an actual socio i mean person with aspd in the store absolutely one of my biggest fears what if they torture me in their basement. I absolutely empathize with all the people in here suffering from delusions as long as they like, don't actually show it or have one concerning me that'd be highkey uncomfy leave me out of this dude im not talking to you until you get help, anyway my fav character from my anime just presumably died but i still think they actually survived im sooo delulu lol. We should push for more wheelchair accessibility in our cities I agree but like it's so difficult to tell how many people are actually disabled and who are actually faking it, like, ummm why did that "wheelchair" "user" guy stand up just now cover blown lmaoo…. Yeah I support people with facial differences but I still have a right to be disgusted you can't control my emotions anyway can you tag your selfies as #body horror this deeply triggering to me. Speaking of triggering can you also pleaseee hide your scars or at least warn us beforehand jesus do you know how many people genuinely do not want to see it. Here is my extremely fast strobing lights and flashing gifset #epilepsy. Yeah I loveee girls with bpd beautiful princess disorder am i right they're so interesting the stigma sucksssss i'd love to get to be one's favourite person as long as they don't actually have any of those weird or violent symptoms or don't go into any of their "episodes" near me like that's a bit dramatic….. I deeply feel for those who had underwent narcissistic abuse from the hands of an npd I think my shitty ex boyfriend was a narcissist too tbh #surviving narcissism here are 10 signs you are dealing with a narcissist and here's a tutorial on how to trigger a narc crash to epically own them anyway does anyone else think we should start enforcing mandatory castration of all the newly diagnosed narcs like you know what happens when they reproduce right. But I am willing to support them as long as they go to therapy to get that fixed it's just you know. Anyway sometimes hospitalisation is fine if they're genuinely a danger to themselves like what do you want them to go live on the streets or actually get help?? I support all the people dealing with being a professionally diagnosed disordered system and I think it's sooooo terrible how literally 99% of the youth population nowadays is purposefully faking it for attention I did my research (1 minute google search, 2 minute r/fakedisordercringe scrolling session and consulting a single system that agrees with me). It's just not believable to me that there's really that many people with it isn't it supposed to be rare… Also are we really sure all those alleged people in their heads are really real or just their imagination maybe all of them are actually faking it huh food for thought. I am very uncomfortable with nonverbal high support needs ppl actually having sex like consent is supposed to be explicitly verbal only and, are we really sure they can even consent arent they like basically children. You can't call me ableist I'm literally autistic

#mine #actually autistic #actually npd #actually plural #ableism #sanism #npd stigma #bpd stigma #pluralmisia #<- gonna add on to these later i am. bad at tagging warnings #i needed this off my chest like. can these people stop #dont know how comprehensible this is im bad at articulating myself #long post

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jakes3resin · 3 months

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Can you tell us about your other fics if you already have an established plot?

I'd love to! So there's quite a number of them I won't lie. I tend to get inspired by the randomest things. These are all in various stages of plotted out and written.

A/B/O fic (technically turning into 3 fics) that follows Bucky & Buck through the war, described below.

Courting Arc (top of my list to finish writing) - Bucky POV as he is anonymously courted during his time in the states just before he gets sent over to England (there's a post I'm basing my writing around I'll link it in a moment) <- published

England Arc- a quick look into their lives as they run missions with A/B/O elements (this will be pretty short I think) mostly snippets of scenes from the show just now with Omega Bucky and Alpha Buck <- published

Stalag Arc - Omega Bucky and his awful time in Germany. Here is where we see what being an Omega in war is really like in my omegaverse. Bucky is the highest ranked Omega in the camp meaning he's technically 'in charge' of keeping those Omegas in line. He's tested by his heats, keeping his pack together, and finally by a German order that could tear Buck and Bucky apart. This is a big fic for me to prepare for, and I'm building up to it by writing the Courting Arc first <- next on deck

Biker Gale AU (my beloved, genuinely obsessed with this AU) - this was inspired by one of hogans-heroes AUs. So, Gale leads an outlaw-esque biker club, and Bucky used to be his right hand (and lover) except one day out of the blue he just disappeared. Gale does everything he can to find Bucky, but there's no trail to follow, no clues to put together, nothing. Fast forward about two years, Bucky arrives on Curt's doorstep holding a small baby with the brightest blue eyes and prettiest blonde curls and begs Curt to watch his baby for 5 days. 5 days later Bucky comes back in town bruised to all hell with the FBI on his tail with their own nefarious reasons for tracking Bucky down. Bucky has nowhere else to turn especially since when he comes back to Curt's he finds Gale holding his little baby. (This could be A/B/O I haven't decided, but it's definitely at least mpreg)

Amnesia fic - this is based off of a post I made about the effects of Bucky getting hit over the head like 3 times in the span of two days, its... somewhere (edit: here). But its about Bucky waking up with no memory of who he is just before he gets interrogated by the Germans and sent to Stalag Luft III where he meets a man that his heart rejoices at seeing but his mind doesn't recognize. Buck of course has to deal with the love of his life forgetting him.

Magic AU - Bucky is a Scamander and its now everyone's problem to deal with it. The tag to find all of my ramblings for it is magic au (not that Tumblr's tag system works), and @getinthefuckingjaeger just wrote the best ever fic of Bucky and Theseus so go read that.

I've also got a few paragraphs written of Foster Kid Bucky somewhere but that might never see the light of day (that's also from a hogans-heroes AU) where Bucky is a jaded teenager just trying to make it to 18 to get out of his shitty foster placement when in comes Buck whose mother finally divorced his dad, got custody of her kids, and moved to her hometown to escape. It's about a Bright Buck meeting a Jaded Bucky (a flip on their usual dynamics)

Blonde Bucky AU - I wrote a blurb on the Twin Cleven AU post, and the idea of Bucky bleaching his hair on a drunken night out with Curt and Bubbles has haunted me since <- published as well

There might be more? But these are the only ones I can remember off the top of my head right now that are plotted out beyond oh that'd be a good fic. I have a lot of time spent sitting and waiting right now, so I have the ability to write a multitude of fics. I'm happy to talk about any of these fics if you want to come into my inbox or my messages.

#asks #my writing #buck x bucky #clegan

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rushingheadlong · 2 months

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[cw extreme negativity & fandom wank]

So, I found out the hard way this morning that people you have blocked are still able to add your gifs to their posts through the gif searching function. Tumblr's wonderful blocking system (/s) will only stop you from seeing those notifications and prevent the person from interacting with your OP. It does nothing to help you stop shitty people from adding them to any posts that they make.

And I'm not gonna lie, I am really, REALLY pissed about this and seriously considering no longer posting any gifs on this site going forward.

I am fully aware that there is no way for me to stop people from outright stealing my gifs and I've never been too fussed about trying to prevent that. That's why I don't watermark any of my gifs. They aren't made with photoshop and they are FAR from being perfect, so I made the decision early on to more-or-less wash my hands of what happens with my gifsets once they're posted. I make these for my own enjoyment first and foremost, so whether people hate them or love them I don't really care too much either way.

But it is WILDLY different to now know that my gifs can be accessed through a direct tumblr feature by people that I have specifically decided that I don't want accessing my content. It is VERY different to see my gifs with my URL automatically attached thanks to tumblr being used in text posts to express sentiments that I strongly disagree with. It is, in fact, incredibly distressing to know that no amount of blocking will be able to prevent TERFs, racists, and general assholes from using something I've created to promote viewpoints that run directly contrary to my own and that my URL will be forever attached to those posts via my gifs.

And unless tumblr makes changes to both the block feature and the gif search function, there's absolutely nothing I can do about this except stop posting gifs and remove what I've already posted - assuming that deleting the OPs will even remove my gifs from the search function.

Honestly that uncertainty about how the gif search actually works is the only thing stopping me from mass deleting everything in my #myedit tag today. I know that's a nuclear option and it's one that I genuinely do NOT want to have to take, especially not while my emotions are still running high about this.

But I post new gifsets weekly and there are two month's worth already sitting in my drafts waiting to go. And it's very hard to look at them today without wondering which specific gifs are going to end up being reposted back into the tags or added to inflammatory text posts, now without my knowledge at all because I don't get notifications of this from people I already have blocked.

I genuinely don't know what I'm going to do about this going forward. I schedule my new sets to be posted every Tuesday, so today's already went put before I found out about any of this, but if you don't see anything new from me next week... Well, you'll know what decision I made then, I guess.

#text #negative //#I'm signing off for the day after posting this I'm genuinely too upset to stay online rn

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hollowsoul12 · 1 year

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Anywho, on to a less happy post that I've been wanting to make, yet was unable to make due to personal OCD reasons, I'm going to talk about the bright contraversity, but more specifically how poorly the tumblr side of the community has handled and how separating art from artist is tricky in this situation. (Now just like most of the bright post this will be getting into it, this post contains mentions of serious and horrible sexual topics relating to AdminBright. If you are a bright system you should go into this post with caution, as I won't be kind of AdminBrights creations in the slightest. Also you should check out Daisy Adia's document on her previous relationship with AdminBright regardless of whether you read this post or not)

So, most of you have probably already know of the basic gist of the situation, but if you have not been checking the scp tumblr tag for a while or dont even know what a AdminBright i, let me just catch you up to speed: Recently the contraversity of AdminBright (or Theduckman), the creator of Dr. Bright, Brights family, and handful of other SCPs as well as being a previous staff member for the wiki before he was banned, after "the list of things Dr. Bright is not allowed to do at the foundation" was temporarily deleted by a leaving staff member without telling the rest staff. The reason this article specifically was targeted was because AdminBright is a known s*x pest that s*xually and emotionally manipulated/ab*sed multiple people and, due to the list being the most egregious interpretation of his self insert on the wiki (as the list portrayed him as a womanizer and pervert), its been one that held the most hatred in the on-site community. Unfortunately, due to the licensing and previous scp wiki rules, the article has been brought back and has gained protected status due to its unprompted deletion. This one action, however, has lit a new spark of hope of getting rid bright from the site, as the list was the biggest stop sign in peoples hope of getting rid of him and with its deletion it weakened that obstacle. Now people on both the off-site and on-site community have been going about protesting and rewriting articles surrounding bright from changing his name and creating a new character to less than subtle frustration of allowing the bright list back. Meanwhile their is many others that are simply trying to figure out with what to do next.

This latter group, however, is where the problem's mentioned in the beginning have started to occur. You see, the tumblr side of the community, as well as many other parts of the off-site community, have (and I try to put this is the nicest way possible) been stagnant in relation to scp, but tumblr in particular has been extremely stagnant. What I mean in this case is that unless its about a scp that's over 1000+ upvotes or is character/group that got a cult following during series 1-3 (alagadda, nalka/sarkics, the doctors of the foundation). it wont get discussed and even then the stuff discussed isn't looked at from a meta/real life angle. It is also due to this extreme stagnation that now that this situation about bright has once again resurfaced, it has been a mixed about the idea of getting rid of or even replacing bright. Some have decided to cut ties with bright, but a very vocal group of people on here have decided to basically dig their heals in here and even started to deflect the anger towards people trying to replace him like DJ Kaktus.

Now, I've tried my best to keep calm try to figure out a way to reach a certain middle ground with this situation, as I know their is a lot people that kin bright are generally normal/good people, and tried to figure out a ultimatum, but you know what I'm just gonna say my truthful opinion:

If you are a bright fan or any SCP fan for that matter and actually care about being against Theduckman, THEN JUST FUCKING MOVE ON FROM HIS SHITTY FETISH INSERT AND HIS INSERTS ABLEIST CODED FAMILY!!!

"BUT HE ISN'T A SELF INSERT ANYMORE, THE COMMUNITY HAS RECLAIMED HIM." Dr. Bright has been constantly used as a stand in for his creators sick fantasies, not just on the SCP wiki, but also in sexual roleplay. Dr. Bright, the character, was used by Theduckman to take advantage of people. Dr. Bright, the character, is reason Theduckman got to the position of admin and was able to take advantage of people. Hell, Brights amulet and his ability to swap bodies ican literally tie directly back to Theduckmans branding fetish Even after he got banned, he actively encouraged people to keep using his characters! Most in not all active on-site authors know of Theduckmans past, and guess what, THEY WANT HIM GONE. Their also victims of Theduckman that want him gone. The only reason why people seem to have "separated" bright from Theduckman is because of the disconnect between the off-site and on-site communities, but I guarantee if many people actually knew the situation, more people would not be supporting keeping him around.

"BUT DR. BRIGHT AND HIS FAMILY ARE IMPORTANT TO THE SCP LORE" Dr. Bright and his family have not, is not, and will never be important to the lore of SCP because THEIR IS NO CANNON. Their entire storylines where Bright doesn't exist, hell their is multiple timelines where the foundation does not exist. And even if their was one overarching lore, bright and his family barley play a role in modern scp or are just their for name recognition.

"BUT CHANGING BRIGHTS NAME DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING, WHY WOULD EVEN CHANGE THE NAME BUT KEEP THE CHARACTER THE SAME" BECAUSE OF BRIGHT FANS THAT DON"T WANT LET HIM DIE! STUFF LIKE SHAW ONLY EXSIST BECAUSE WON"T FUCKING LET BRIGHT DIE!

*Ahem* So, yeah, thats my opinion. Truthfully I know that its impossible to actually get rid of Bright and truthfully that not every single person thinks the same way about Bright as I do. In truth, this post is NOT meant to hat on people that like Bright but rather is meant show how fucked up Bright as a character is and how his existence in this fandoms needs to change. And in truth that change appears to be finally happening with the list being temporarily deleted. I hope that one day we finally can leave bright as a memory, but till that day we just have to stick to rewrites

#scp 963 #jack bright #bright family #dr bright #bright drama #scp

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jigensass · 2 years

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I posted 4,251 times in 2022

264 posts created (6%)

3,987 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jigencaps

@justherefortheheists

@mmangaboi

@detectivehole

@oursamuraifreund

I tagged 933 of my posts in 2022

#jigen daisuke - 209 posts

#spoilers - 61 posts

#alaska - 51 posts

#part 6 spoilers - 37 posts

#jiglup - 37 posts

#lupin the third - 36 posts

#part 6 episode 21 - 26 posts

#jigen - 18 posts

#goemon ishikawa xiii - 17 posts

#yes - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#cause i’m pretty sure my adhd genes came from my dad because his mannerisms are nearly identical to what i started to notice in myself when

My Top Posts in 2022:

See the full post

148 notes - Posted January 8, 2022

Send this to anyone who knows nothing about Lupin the Third without context and ask them to explain this

193 notes - Posted January 7, 2022

Jiglup canon?

Jiglup canon.

218 notes - Posted July 20, 2022

Let’s Talk about the Multiverse of Madness (objectively)

This is your only warning about spoilers for this movie so if you don’t have ‘spoilers’ blacklisted you have been warned. Also, this is gonna get pretty dark so also be warned for that.

Now that I have gotten the hype of watching this movie out of my system, I can now put my more tame thoughts into form. I did some reading on other peoples’ opinions about the film before writing this, so I am aware of their qualms with the film. However, this is my opinion about the film. I am also someone who has been a fan of Doctor Strange for almost ten years now (scary to think about when you realize I have been through Stephen’s entire MCU history from fruition to now on tumblr) and I have read the comics, so I know most of the lore.

Now, you don’t have to go into this film with much background information outside of the first film, Infinity War, and Wandavision, but if you know the lore like I do, you’re going to love this film. And loved this film I did so much I’m debating about going to the theater to watch it again, it was that good after thinking some things over. (Disclaimer I did not watch Wandavision and am not going to shovel money for Disney+ to watch Wandavision.)

I am going to touch upon all aspects of the film including lore, the future of the frachise, other people’s opinions, and what some people have seemed to missed with the theme of the film.

The first thing is that there is technically no villain, only a threat. That threat being Wanda Maximoff aka the Scarlet Witch. This is someone who currently is going through mental distress to the point of obsession. The way some phrases such as how she explained her thoughts on how she felt about taking the Mind Stone out of Vision’s head was a very human way of tackling the big theme of the film, which was based around the actions of the characters, their consequences and how they affected the people around them, and how they dealt with the hand they’ve been given in life whether it be good or bad.

Wanda just happened to take her shitty hand and turn it up to 11 by going on a multiverse murder spree.

When Wanda killed herself, it wasn’t out of force, it was out of choice because of the sheer amount of guilt she felt over the things she did. You know, like a very depressed person with no more strings to grasp at. So they do the sudoku.

Wanda is supposed to be the negative representation to Stephen how people deal with loss and trauma. Stephen doesn’t understand what Wanda is going through because he has difficulty relating to others. It took seeing himself with the powers of the Darkhold and what it did to him to realize that he should move on from Christine and not be afraid of being truly alone like he has since his accident. This is represented by not fixing his watch that he broke during the accident in the first film until the very end of this one to show that he has moved on. It was his symbol of attachment of craving that love and affection of one person, just like in Wanda’s case where she wanted the love and affection of her ‘children’. She wanted what most of the other Avengers got after Infinity War which was closure or happiness to their lives and used whatever means she could get her hands on to make herself happy without being aware of the damage it was causing.

Stephen could have had easily just given in and used the Darkhold to whisk himself away to a universe where he still was a surgeon and he had Christine’s love. Stephen could have easily took America’s power with no remorse, but instead he told her to trust herself that she could control her power. Even despite having a similar internal battle that Wanda had decided to side with. No matter how much they tried to rationally reason with her, to help her see the turth of what she was doing was unreasonable and unethichal, she had made her choice to give in to her demons and delusions. You never saw the battle with Stephen, but the signs were there.

Initially when this movie was announced to be in the genre of horror, there were two things I wanted way back when. 1. Tentacles (because it isn’t Doctor Strange if you don’t have tentacles) 2. Stephen’s emotional trauma and a fight with his sanity because of the guilt he had to carry in Infinity War.

I got both of those in spades.

Stephen is a very emotional person. He truly does care about people and his actions. He carries his guilt if he screws up and when he royally screwed up with the incursions, he was clinging to having the acceptance of Christine to care for him just like after his accident when the entire world had abandoned him. He was afraid of being alone. Just. like. Wanda.

I have seen some people say that Michael Waldron who was a writer for Loki and this movie ruined Loki and Stephen by putting them under powerful women, but I disagree with Stephen’s case. Wanda doesn’t overshadow him, it’s just the dynamic of how they are presenting themselves and dealing with their issues is on the opposite ends of the spectrum: Wanda is more external and vocal while Stephen is more reserved about it. It took him the entire movie to speak up and say ‘yeah I’m scared of losing you and being alone’.

Stephen and Wanda’s internal battles with achieving happiness was something I related to on a personal level. Always wanting to have what you want, not being aware of what other people may think of what you’re doing or for how they feel about the situation. I’ve been through that multiple times with multiple people. It’s only until recently that I’ve been able to realize that there have been people in my life, mostly outside of the internet who have been strong-willed enough to call me out on my bullshit instead of letting me continue to make a fucking ass of myself and realize that I have more potential than I ever realized. And it’s not only them, you have to be patient enough to listen to what they have to say to realize the truth about yourself through the lens of others and be willing to seek help when a shoulder is there for you to lean on. And this instance, I cared enough about these people to seek the help I needed to be able to become a better person.

There are multiple quotes throughout the Buddhist doctrine about the moon, its reflection, and relating it to mindfulness. The one that comes to mind when I think about the film is the monkey grabbing for the moon’s reflection in the water. It is grabbing for an illusion while the real thing is above in the sky, illuminating the night.

Basically the entire theme of Multiverse of Madness can be summed up in this trailer for another film, which is actually a documentary.

youtube

Something else that a lot of people, I guess forgot when watching this movie, is that Stephen is just a Master of the Mystic Arts and not the Sorcerer Supreme. It just dawned on me when I was watching MoistCritikal’s review on the film that Stephen being underpowered and having “unimpressive magic” and not being able to completely subdue Wanda, someone with the power of a literal demon at her disposal who could mow the sorcerers of Kamar-taj 10 times over, is actually very fitting for this film.

The original run of Doctor Strange comics from the 80′s and 90′s are named in this order. 1. Doctor Strange: Master of the Mystics Arts 2. Doctor Strange: Sorcerer Supreme

We are just hit 1.5 in Stephen’s journey in the MCU with the introduction to the next leg of his journey. You know it, I know it, there is gonna be a third movie. Stephen’s going to become Sorcerer Supreme either because Wong dies or we finally get to see the Vishanti in their physical forms and see them give the mantle to Stephen for kicking Dormammu’s ass with the science of judo.

No, I am not making that shit up.

This is getting long already and I haven’t even talked about the other aspects of this film which are the lore and the horror.

Imma start with the latter: this is a PG-13 film, so gore is limited, but Sam Raimi definitely knew where to push the boundaries with this film and there were some moments that did actually scare me. Wanda contorting out of the gong? Black Bolt’s death? Slicing Peggy Carter in half? BREAKING PROFESSOR XAVIER’S NECK ON SCREEN?! Oh yeah, and the zombie makeup at the end was a breath of fresh air to be real instead of some CGI garbage. The cinematography in a lot of the shots was really really good or unique, especially when Wanda was dreamwalking for the first time as it switched back to her in both bodies was really good. Though scene with the slowing of time to get a jump scare in was kind of cheap.

I know I haven’t really talked about America Chavez because in all honesty, she was the just macguffin of the movie, so I really don’t have much to say except she was there to do her thing and we found out Stephen can’t speak Spanish which is hilarious. Oh, and this is what made me give this movie the praise it deserves. They gave the biggest middle finger to China in particular of showing America’s parents who are canonically lesbians on screen and there is absolutely no way you can edit it out of the film without losing some important backstory to America’s character so anyone watching this without her parents on screen will be confused as fuck as to how America got to where she was in the movie.

But now it’s on to what made this movie, for me, grin from ear to ear. All of the lore and Easter Eggs stuff within it for the Doctor Strange fans who know the ins and outs of this stupid wizard. This is not your lame ass list on the basic aspects of the movie, this is stuff that you never knew was a thing or I thought it was a nice touch to add in for continuity sake.

1. Zombie Stephen is actually Stephen from this version of the Defenders from 2011 where he slept with a college student.

See the full post

283 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Good morning

Now the question on everyone's mind this morning is

Did the English Dub make the fuzzy angel scene any more gay? Could it make it any more gay?

See the full post

325 notes - Posted August 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Youtube

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shirks-all-responsibilities · 2 years

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I posted 265 times in 2022

That's 265 more posts than 2021!

9 posts created (3%)

256 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@iamskyereads

@imtryingmybeskar

@skyshipper

@fangirlingcentral

@fuckyeahdindjarin

I tagged 263 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#pedro pascal - 53 posts

#ficrec - 37 posts

#javier peña - 34 posts

#javier peña x reader - 25 posts

#javier peña x fem reader - 23 posts

#bless the gifmaker - 23 posts

#ezra prospect - 23 posts

#bless the gifs - 22 posts

#beautiful man - 18 posts

#javier peña x you - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 91 characters

#just bone and give each other all the praise you desperately want and need you silly gooses

My Top Posts in 2022:

Sleuthing Ricky Hauk's Gas Station 😌

So I was watching baby Pedro Pascal in his Touched by an Angel TV episode that aired in 2000, where he plays shy budding-poet-trapped-as-a-mechanic Ricky Hauk, and I was like...WHY does this yellow gas/service station look familiar? I feel like I have seen it before.

And THEN I remembered...OH MY STARS, Touched by an Angel was filmed in Utah! I've (unfortunately) lived in Utah for 20 years now, and even before I moved here the circles I ran in at the time loved that cheesy show and held it as a point of pride that the series was filmed here. 🙄

Because I'm RIDICULOUS, I then went on a mission to FIND that damn gas station. The show reveals the building number (390) as Pedro exits the front door in one shot, and since Salt Lake City is on a grid system I figured I could find it, but only if it was even filmed here and not some other city or town...here's footage of me scouring google maps/street view 😆:

See the full post

40 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

Oh to hug Pedro Pascal in an endless loop...

I still haven't recovered from The Hug to End All Hugs between Pedro Pascal and Diego Luna at the D23 Expo 2022 last weekend, their body language is SO genuine and sincere and joyful and tender it makes my heart want to burst into a million fluffy pieces.

Wanted to isolate and slow down this moment of preciousness...we are all Diego, imbibing the goodness that radiates from this human bean yah? 🥰🥰.

86 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

So I picked up some popcorn at the grocery store this week that had this llama on it...

117 notes - Posted August 1, 2022

Having LOST MY MIND along with the rest of y'all today, I wanted to gaze at that Vanity Fair smolder and wind-blown hair moment slowed down as much as possible...the flashing reflective lights made it uber jittery and the slow motion janky, but I wrestled with Adobe Premiere waaaaay too long tonight (and was so proud at removing the photographer's hand that was in the shot with awful motion tracking 😆) to keep this shitty gif all to mahself...enjoy! 😎

287 notes - Posted May 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Someone give him a hug.

Pedro Pascal as Javi Gutierrez in The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022).

728 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my longest tag 😆#look at them poor quality gifs #din's shifting chest plate bahahaha #need to tag more consistently #2022 tumblr baby

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sayaratyriea · 2 years

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Hey. So. I saved your reblog forever ago about discworld cause i was like sure I'll read this eventually. Your testimony in the tags had me intrigued. But i can't find a good copy anywhere. Like the library system in my area only has the audiobooks. i can't do audiobooks cause i can't force myself to pay attention to things without subtitles. Well i mean i can it's just difficult. I tried the open library but the copies they have are scanned in and difficult to read imo. Where did you read them? And also, what is your recommended order?

Hi!! I unfortunately don’t know that my reading sources are gonna help much, since I mostly actually bought them (and my local library has a decent supply of copies for the ones I didn’t buy)—I keep having family members give me amazon gift cards and I cannot get it through their heads that I don’t like to support that site, so in order to avoid offending them I buy ebooks whilst trying to convince them to try gift cards for local places. When the money’s already been spent and all… I also like the covers, so I have a few of them in paperback on the shelf :) my copy of Guards! Guards! is hosting at least a hundred four-leaf clovers and a wide collection of bookmarks right now

Does your local library have access to Libby or another ebook rental app/service? My experience is that those are separate from audiobook rentals and might not be obvious, but I think most libraries do let you connect, at least where I’m from. I forget what the other ebook rental app my mom uses all the time is called. Discworld is pretty popular, so the books might have wait times, but it’d be a good place to start if you can access it! I’m honestly pretty surprised your library doesn’t have physical copies, because I’ve never been to one that didn’t have at least a few, even if they’re all always checked out. Maybe I just have good local libraries?

As for starting out: when I got into the series, I used this flowchart to figure out where to start out:

But this is, yknow, pretty overwhelming. My personal suggestion would be to start with Guards! Guards!, though. It’s the first appearance of Samuel Vimes, one of the more memorable recurring characters (and one of my favorites), and is a nice entertaining self-contained story that lampoons a solid handful of classic high fantasy tropes. The plot’s basically, “what if the rightful king didn’t show up to solve the Obvious Fantasy Plot (as rightful kings always tend to do), so the underappreciated city guards have to do it instead?.” It’s got a good spread of typical Discworld humor, interesting worldbuilding, and classic Pratchett insight—if you have ever seen that quote floating around tumblr about how poor people spend more money on boots than rich people because they always have to buy new shitty ones, that’s from Guards! Guards!. If you try this one and like it, that flowchart has a list of the other books that are primarily about the Watch characters, and they’re all very good. Pratchett was a great writer when he wrote Guards! Guards, but he gets better over the course of his career. Pretty much all of these can stand alone quite well, but it’s more fun to read them in order, because they often reference each other.

I would also recommend Small Gods, which is one of my absolute favorite Discworld novels. It’s not linked to any particular continuity, but it’s a really really interesting exploration of organized religion and the way gods work in Discworld, and it hits hard.

Monstrous Regiment is another good starter, being pretty effectively stand-alone with only minor links to existing stories. It’s about a girl who pretends to be a boy to join her country’s army, and as is typical with Discworld, it lampoons basically everything about that classic trope in a way that I personally find very satisfying. Also, there are several characters who have very strong trans and/or lesbian subtext, which is a neat thing to find in an older trope-y fantasy book like this! You can read it in a way that dismisses the subtext as just a continuation of the parody, but frankly I think Pratchett 100% intended those characters to be queer. They feel incredibly sincere to me, the characters just don’t use modern language to describe it all. Plus he dabbles with queer stuff in the Watch novels too, if you squint a little.

You could also, if you are brave and don’t care about late-arrival spoilers, try starting with Going Postal. This is one of the last books Pratchett wrote, and references a TON of stuff that is more satisfying and interesting if you’ve read the books that set it all up (plus if you care about spoilers, by its nature it spoils what happens to some of the Watch characters). BUT, that said, it’s one of the best in the series IMO. Its social critique feels incredibly fucking relevant in the era of social media and internet provider monopolies, it’s a very quick zippy read with a fun protagonist, and it’s got a lot of great humor and clever wordplay.

Generally speaking, IMO you can pick up nearly any Discworld novel as your entrance to the series and follow along and enjoy it if you must. The books are very episodic—recurring characters will occasionally have multi-book arcs, Vimes definitely does, but you won’t miss out on the ‘main point’ of any novel if you don’t have that context. Pratchett does a good job of reestablishing whatever context you do need when it comes up, he knows what he’s doing. So don’t feel discouraged if the only one you find looks like the fifteenth in a continuous string! If the summary on the back looks interesting, you’d probably be fine to just dive in most of the time. The only series I can think to compare it to in this sense is Redwall, lmao—you will get more out of the books if you’ve read the older ones that establish characters and plots being referenced, sure, but you can almost always happily read and enjoy any given book without knowing about that stuff if you want to. You might miss a few things or be confused by some worldbuilding, but at least in my personal opinion it’s never that big of a deal.

I haven’t read the wizard books yet, nor all of the witches ones, so no comment there. But I do really love the Watch books, and I think they’re a more interesting introduction to the series than the Death books, which are the other “timeline” I’ve read. (I enjoy Death more as a character when he incidentally pops up in other narratives, rather than starring in his own, but that’s just my preference.) Hogfather’s excellent, though, and seems to stand alone well enough that you could give it a go if it sounds interesting to you. Fake Discworld Santa gets murdered, Death tries to fill in, and the cast explores the meaning of holiday characters and belief. It feels like a Christmas movie kind of story, if you can picture that energy, but in a strange sideways way that’s like half parody while still half incredibly sincere. (And not, like, actually IRL religious or anything.) That’s the one with the quote about believing in “the big lies, like justice” that also tends to circulate tumblr a lot.

I hope this helps!! I wordvomited a lot and I blame the ADHD, but also I love these books a lot, and I hope you can find a way to enjoy them yourself!! :D

#taz talks #discworld #join me in discworld hell

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princessnijireiki · 2 years

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keep getting comments like, "well what about the harassment jas is getting," bro I literally received murder threats + was doxxed on this site & staff told me to turn off my inbox + replies and block my way out of it, and that even after having family members threatened w the (luckily inept) doxxing, they weren't even going to remove posts w any personally identifying information until/unless the person threatening me posted phone numbers.

like that guy's sideblog that he made specifically to threaten & doxx me IS still up, and the info he put on there is inaccurate + now out of date, but except for the one post where he put every phone number associated w my (v common lol) last name in my old city of residence, those posts are still up, too.

that dude didn't get nuked.

my page has been deactivated twice for no reason, and after nonstop emails about it, I was able to get it restored both times. but that never happened to someone who said he was going to have me shot & raped. and even the little bit staff did in my defense? took weeks.

I don't condone harassment & threats or cyberstalking or doxxing, I've warned ppl I legitimately do not fuck with & do not like to protect public facing information when I've stumbled on it bc it's a wild world out here. some of the comments I deleted off this breakdown post specifically were even just things tagging the wrong person, or bickering w someone I'd already blocked, bc they're getting violent threats, too, and that's bullshit. you will not piggyback off me to swing on anybody else like that, even if you think they fucking deserve it, bc I refuse to be embroiled in anybody else's bad blood or to be used in this way.

but I'm very sure mercury's getting gnarly messages, too. and mercury is still nuked.

jas has turned off her inbox & limited DMs + post replies, and is clearly blocking people who reblog with commentary she disapproves of. that's her prerogative. she's done EVERYTHING tumblr staff has told evetybody else is the absolute limit of what can be done to protect ourselves.

and it sucks people are calling her names. it sucks if she's getting threats. it sucks if mercury was nuked without jas's input, because clearly if there was ANY consideration for how the backlash was going to affect jas, it wasn't thought out well if at all. but she has protection & tools at her disposal that the rest of us don't, and they were utilized over something trivial & frivolous that came back to kick her in the ass. she has the same options as any other regular joe schmoe blogger on this site now, and while I'm sympathetic to that, bc it's a shitty unfair system, I don't feel sorry for her when she ultimately created this situation herself wrt the reactions SHE'S getting to the way she reacted to mercury's post.

and I won't feel sorry until or unless whatever new options jas later gets + already got (incl turbodeleting the opposition over petty grievances) get handed to the rest of us, too. bc this was a pretty cut & dry example of abuse of power. and if nuking blogs is a "break glass in case of emergency" moderation tool, fine, it doesn't need to be open access; but it's applied unevenly, for personal or political biases, and if it's not meant for civilian users' petty squabbles, then it should never have been used here.

it's a shitty situation, but you don't get to cry about how people react or what comes up when people google your name when you're the party at fault. and tbh I hope this is the last post I have to make about it.

#long post //#rape ment //#violence ment //#like... what do you want me to say here #when you do clownery the clown comes back to bite.gif #tumblr dot com #edit: readmore cut's malfunctioning sorry y'all

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babyboibucky · 3 years

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Promises, promises

Pairing: AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You believed that promises are meant to be broken but Bucky always proved you wrong. Until one day, he proved you right.

Word Count: 6,555 (oops I got carried away lol)

Warnings: Angst, a tiny bit of self-doubt but with a happy ending!!!

A/N: Some tags aren’t working, damn u tumblr! Anyway enjoy the angst and the shitty writing lmfao. Also kinda want to do ficlets for these two??? Like short fics about the happenings in their relationship, their first date, how they dealt with the break up idk, lemme know if anyone’s interested in that xoxo

MAIN MASTERLIST

It's been four and a half years since Bucky broke up with you and honestly, you're fine now. Fine, as in you've moved on from him and that you haven't been stalking his Instagram account anymore or have been asking Steve how he's doing since the break up. You're fine now, really.

There was not an ounce of denial left in your body after almost two years of pining and self-blame. But that doesn't mean you've forgotten the pain he caused you when he woke up one day and realized that he didn't need you anymore.

Forgive and forget they often told you and you badly wanted to do so. But it wasn't that easy to do, not when you still feel the pain as if it only happened yesterday.

"What did you say?" your forehead creased as you walked around the kitchen counter, quickly approaching Bucky who had his back to you as he stood in the living room of your shared apartment.

You weren't sure if you heard him right, or if he actually said anything. Perhaps you were just hearing things? Just this morning he woke up and greeted you with his charming smile before pressing a soft peck on your lips. You had cooked breakfast together, laughed together and even talked about what to have for dinner.

Sure, something about his demeanor earlier was a bit off, but you assumed it had something to do about his work and not because he wanted to break up with you.

Right?

"Bucky, what did you say?" you pressed when Bucky remained quiet; he didn't even turn around to face you.

He heaved out a deep sigh, "I said I need space." he murmured.

"What do you mean, Buck?" you asked again, voice small and shaky as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.

Of course you knew what exactly Bucky meant by that, but you didn't want to believe it. You were hopeful that maybe this was one of those petty fights you used to have, one where Bucky would spend the night over at Steve's. He'll come around the next day, he always does that. You always woke up to him whispering apologies to your ear and you would say your sorry too.

Bucky rubbed his face with his hand before finally turning to you, "I can't do this anymore." he said, shaking his head before averting his gaze to the floor.

He must have seen the look in your eyes when he faced you. As much as you believed that you were pretty good at hiding your emotions, it never worked on Bucky. He was the only person who could always read you; you could never hide from him.

"Bucky, I don't understand." you let out a nervous chuckle as you hugged yourself, biting your lower lip to prevent them from quivering as you held back the urge to cry.

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, "I just...you've been too...fuck, I don't know how to say this without hurting you. I really don't want to." he admitted dejectedly, looking up at you.

You scoffed, "Just fucking say it, Bucky. I'm already hurt just by having this conversation." you told him.

"You're too good for me. Way too good."

Bucky’s words echoed in your mind again as you laid your eyes on him, four and a half years after your break-up. And just like that, you were back to square one.

You did your best to avoid him after he left, you felt like Bucky too tried to do the same. It was harder than you thought, given that you belonged to the same circle of friends. There were missed birthday parties, anniversaries and get togethers. If you knew Bucky was going to be there, you’d bail. Thank god you had a bunch of understanding friends who never took your absences against you.

But an engagement party between two of your friends? Now that was something you wouldn’t want to miss out on.

You’ve been really happy for quite a while now, to the point that it never crossed your mind that Bucky would surely be attending as well. He had been out of your system since the day you decided to move past him, which is why you thought that you were finally a-okay.

Tonight proved you wrong because as you watched Bucky smile and greet your friends, you realized that you still wanted to punch him and hurt him and tell him that you were still in lo—

“Hi.”

You were too focused on daydreaming about how you wanted to hurt Bucky that you failed to notice that he made his way to you and was now waiting for you to greet him back.

Bucky was smiling at you the same way he did on the night you first met at a college house party. You and Bucky have been together for that long.

“Hi.”

The music was too loud that you missed out on the stranger’s greeting, if not for his shadow looming over your hunched figure as you sat on the staircase, you would’ve completely ignored him.

The guy was looking down at you with a charming smile that made your cheeks turn pink. He was tall and slightly muscular, something you noticed right off the bat all thanks to the tight red henley he was sporting. The guy had long hair too, but it was tied back into a low man bun that was messy enough to leave tendrils of stray hair to frame his handsome face.

“Hi.” He repeated with a chuckle, a hint of amusement laced in his tone as he bit his lip at the sight of you just staring up at him.

“Hi?” You stammered awkwardly.

He laughed, “Um, can I pass through or is there some sort of password required?”

You realized that you had been blocking his way, everyone’s way actually. Quickly, you apologized and stood up to leave your spot only for the guy to block your way before you could even hop off of the last step of the staircase.

Thinking that you must have confused him and the direction you intended to go, you murmured a soft apology again before sidestepping him but to no avail. You looked up at him with a frown when you noticed that he was intentionally blocking your way.

It didn’t help that he was way taller than you. Despite the one being on the last step of the staircase, the guy still loomed over you.

“Excuse me?” You snapped and tried to move past him but he was way bigger than you and managed to stop you from passing through.

He had a cheeky smile on as he watched your futile attempt to squeeze your way out of his large body. You huffed out when he held onto the rail while his other hand on the wall, completely trapping you on the staircase.

“What’s the password?” He asked, still grinning at you.

You deadpanned, “Are you kidding me?”

He shook his head, “Nope.”

You stared at him blankly before glancing at his hands, observing whether you had a chance at prying them away from where they held on. It was then that you noticed how his left hand was covered in tattoos. The sleeve of his henley rode up quite a bit to reveal that his tattoos reached his wrist, he probably had his entire left arm sleeved with ink.

“Can I please pass?” You huffed out when you concluded that there was no way you would be able to escape him.

“Like I said, I need a password.” He insisted.

“Penis.” You stated, face free from any sort of expression.

The guy choked on his laughter, “Why would you honestly think that?” He asked incredulously.

You shrugged, “I thought you guys liked dick jokes.” You reasoned out.

The guy laughed as he shook his head, “Well, you’re not wrong.”

“It’s not the password?” You asked. “Don’t I get a hint or something, I really don’t have time for games right now. I have to go back to my dorm. I have a test tomorrow.” You told the guy.

“I can’t believe you’re thinking about a test. What’s your major anyway?” He asked.

You groaned, “Like I said, I don’t have time for games or even for a conversation. Come on, just let me pass through!”

The guy hummed as he stared at you, as if he was thinking of something. You wanted to look away but he had beautiful ocean blue eyes that you found yourself slowly getting lost in.

“I’ll give you hints.” He announced. “Two hints actually, because I’m feeling generous.”

“Okay, then. Just spit it out!” You rushed.

The guy grinned.

“The password is made up of your name followed by your number.”

“Hi.”

You blinked when Bucky repeated his greeting. When you regained your senses, you cleared your throat and simply nodded at him as acknowledgment. You saw how Bucky’s smile faltered seconds before you looked away and pretended to look for someone.

“I can’t believe you just brushed me off.” He chuckled, running his fingers through his hair.

Bucky had cut off his hair right after graduation. He sported a clean cut since then but now he had longer locks; not as long as his college hair though. It just looked fluffier, you fought the urge to imagine how it’d feel through your fingers.

“I can’t believe you just expected me to greet you as if nothing happened.” You told him, letting your eyes wander around the place.

Bucky exhaled heavily and shook his head, “I thought we’d be okay by now.” He admitted. “Guess I was wrong.”

You clicked your tongue in irritation, snapping your head into his direction after avoiding his gaze earlier. “I am okay, but that doesn’t mean I am okay with being around you.” You hissed.

“I honestly thought we’d still be friends, you know. Civil at least.”

What has gotten into Bucky’s mind for him to expect a lovely reunion between the both of you? Things didn’t end well, he just left. He was too ambitious to even think that you’d greet him with rainbows and butterflies.

“We’re not friends, Bucky. Not even acquaintances.” You told him.

Bucky opened his mouth to say something until someone tapped on the mic, announcing that the newly engaged couple, Wanda and Vis, had something to say to their guests. By the time he looked back at you, you had already walked away and joined Nat at their table.

It reminded Bucky of the days when he used to watch your back retreat into your dorm whenever he walked you home.

“So, you gonna tell me the password or what?”

You felt all your blood rush to your head and you’ve never been thankful for existence of strobe lights. You were probably red as a tomato. Who wouldn’t be anyway? This handsome dude just asked for your name and number!

“Is this a joke?” You managed to asked and thanked the heavens that you didn’t stutter.

The guy shook his head, “I don’t really joke around.” He shrugged.

“Why do you even want to know my name and number?” you curiously asked.

Bucky shrugged, “Been watching you since you arrived.”

“Creeper.” you accused.

“Hard not to when you’re the only grumpy person in a party. I know your friends dragged you here, I mean you said you have a test tomorrow and you don’t seem the type to party a day before. Besides, you’ve been keeping to yourself the entire time. Figured you might want some company, one with substance.” he boastfully wiggled his eyebrows at you.

His confidence appalled you but you were also surprised at how he seemed to have read your mind. Or personality, in general.

“Hey, Bucky!”

You watched the guy turn his head towards front door where a blonde guy— Steve from the student council, you recognized— entered. You thought it’d give you a chance to slip away but the guy, well Bucky, kept his hands in place.

“Kinda busy right now, pal. I’ll catch up with you later.” He said.

Steve’s gaze moved past Bucky until they landed on you. He chuckled as he shook his head at his friend’s antics. Steve walked away but not without acknowledging you.

“He may not seem like it, but Bucky’s a good guy. You can take my word for it.”

Bucky turned to you and lifted an eyebrow, “I mean, coming from a student council member, that’s a pretty credible source.” He said confidently.

You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling. You had to admit, Bucky had a way with words and actions. His boyish charm was working on you and you hated how easily you were falling for it. And you just met the guy like ten minutes ago!

“So, what’s the password?” Bucky asked again.

You tapped your foot as you crossed your arms over your chest, “You promise to let me go if I tell you?”

Bucky made a face, “I don’t think that’s the right term because you can expect more of me once you give me the password. But I’ll definitely step aside. That’s a promise.” He reassured.

“Promises are meant to be broken.” You stated.

“Yeah, well watch me prove you wrong. Password? Pretty please?” He asked cutely and fuck, Bucky was really winning you over just like that.

Letting out a defeated sigh, you tell him your name and number. Just as he promised, Bucky stepped aside and quickly fished out his phone to type in your number. You honestly didn’t expect for him to remember it after hearing it once, but you peeked and he actually did. Impressive.

“Like I promised, off you go to study.” He said and motioned his arm towards the front door.

You sighed and offered a small smile before finally walking past him. You were about to open the front door when Bucky beat you to it.

“I told you ‘let go’ is the wrong term ‘cause I’m walking you home tonight.” Bucky said. “And tomorrow night too. And the next night and the next next night. Or afternoon. Morning? Whatever time your classes finish.”

Bucky really proved you wrong that night because he did walk you home the next night and the next next night too. It went on until he no longer had to watch you enter your dorm or apartment because eventually, the two of you ended up going to the same home.

It’s very ironic really, that it was also Bucky who failed to prove you wrong when he broke his promise not to hurt you, ever. You wondered whether it was your fault that you actually believed in him. It was hard not to though, because Bucky’s earned your trust from all the promises he made and kept.

Which is why it was even more painful when one day, he decided to break the one promise you truly held on to.

“I’ll always love you, you know that right?”

Bucky blurted it out randomly that his statement confused the hell out of you. The two of you were just playing a video game when he said it, making you hit pause.

“And where did that come from?” You asked with amusement.

Bucky frowned, “You could’ve reacted differently. I was hoping for a high-pitched ‘awwww!’ and this is what I get?” He teased, taking your chin in between his index finger and thumb to pull you close so he could bite your nose playfully.

“You said it out of the blue!” You told him with a laugh. “But it made me happy though.” You admitted and kissed his cheek.

“Yeah, well it’s true. I mean, this thing we got? It’s forever.” Bucky said and lovingly smiled at you.

You pretended to gag at his words but it was obvious that you felt like you were on cloud nine when Bucky said that. “Cheeseballs!” You teased.

“This cheeseball’s gonna put a ring on that finger one day. That’s a promise!”

A finger snapped right in front of your face, “You good?” Nat asked.

You nodded and tried your hardest not to look at Bucky. He was seated with Steve, Sam and some other guys at the table next to yours. You could feel him staring at you and it was making you anxious. Nat and Sharon exchanged looks before letting out a sigh in unison.

“Come on, I’m fine. Stop looking at me like that!” You told them with a forced chuckle.

“What did Bucky say?” Sharon asked. She’d seen Bucky approach you upon his arrival, saw the expressions you both had as you talked and knew immediately that it didn’t go well.

Nat hummed before taking a quick sip from her glass of wine, “We’ve been watching and we’re curious.”

“He was expecting for us to be friends.” You simply stated.

Nat and Sharon groaned and rolled their eyes, “What a dick.” Nat said.

“Men really do have the audacity.” Sharon laughed and shook her head.

You joined her laughter and lifted up your own glass of wine, “I’ll drink to that.” You said before finishing your drink in one go.

One glass of wine turned into two and then three and then four. Six drinks later and you were buzzed and unstoppable. You weren’t that drunk, you were good at handling alcohol but you were tipsy for sure. The formalities of the engagement party were finally done and the guests were left to mingle around.

Wanda and Vis immediately went to your table to catch up and after giving them your heartfelt congratulations (and apologies for missing out on plenty of events), you decided to step out of the venue to get some fresh air.

The silence allowed you to process your thoughts, the same thoughts you had repressed for years. You were happy for Wanda and Vis, truly. The two have been the epitome of soulmates and it was only right for them to end up tying the knot. But you also couldn’t help but wonder, would you and Bucky end up in marriage too had he decided to stay and work things out with you?

You lift up your left hand and stared at your bare ring finger. Just a few years ago, you’d been wearing a simple gold band studded with tiny diamonds around it— a promise ring. Bucky had given it as a gift on your 6th anniversary. You’d gotten together when you were just 19 and Bucky 21. People always doubted that your relationship with him wouldn’t last long given that the two of you were so different. Not to mention, Bucky had a reputation. Girls fawned over him; he was tall and handsome, had a rugged appeal to him thanks to his long hair and tattooed left arm. He drove a damn motorcycle that got him into trouble plenty of times.

You were Miss Goody Two Shoes who played it safe and Bucky was the Big Bad Wolf who liked taking risks.

It was a surprise when your relationship with him kept on progressing and the next thing you knew, the both of you have been together for a total of eight long years. It would’ve reached nine but shit happened and Bucky decided that those eight years didn’t matter to him anymore.

“Can we talk?”

If Bucky asked you that a couple of years ago, you would’ve probably punched him in the face and kneed him at the crotch before running away. Well, you still wanted to do so but a part of you wanted to talk things out. Get a proper closure maybe since Bucky failed to give you a detailed explanation that would help you understand why he chose to leave you.

Nat told you once that some things are better left unsaid. You spent years secretly pining for Bucky after the break up, spent nights questioning yourself where you lacked that made him leave you. You’d asked Steve about Bucky whether he met someone knew or how he was dealing with the break up; it did you more damage than good until you finally gave up and decided to actually move on.

But now that Bucky was here and there was no way to avoid him, maybe you deserved this confrontation after all.

“What do you want to talk about?” You asked, keeping your eyes on the pavement right in front of you.

You felt Bucky stand beside you, placing his hands inside the pockets of his jeans before turning to you, “About us.”

You snickered, “Us? What about us? What is there to talk about us?” You asked, turning your head to face him.

Bucky’s eyes have always been your favorite feature of his. They were very expressive and if Bucky could see through you every damn time, it was his eyes that you could always read. They were still blue but they held a certain emotion in them as he gazed at you.

Sadness and...regret?

Before your assumptions could get the best of you, you turned away and waited for Bucky to speak again.

“I can’t keep on avoiding you.” He said. “I’ve been doing so for the past few years and it kills me.” He admitted.

“And you think I want to keep doing this too? I’ve missed out on so many occasions because I just couldn’t be around you. You’re not the only one struggling.” You said.

Bucky shrugged, “Then let’s stop avoiding each other.”

The way he suggested it almost offended you; he was so nonchalant about it as if it was so easy to just let him waltz back into your life. Truth was, you dreamt of the day that he’d come crawling back to you. But you knew better than to let your walls down just because you miss him.

“When Steve told me that you seemed to be doing well, I really thought it meant that we can become friendly with each other, y’now. I mean, eight years. Those years meant so much to me, we’ve been through a lot and—“

“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Barnes?!” You bitterly chuckled.

“If those eight years together really meant a lot to you, you would’ve stayed. You would’ve allowed me to work it out with you! But what, you broke up with me because you thought I was too good for you? That you felt suffocated just because I was looking out for you?”

You didn’t mean to snap at Bucky like that, in your mind you thought you would be able to have a calm conversation with him. But with the alcohol running through your body, you couldn’t stop yourself from expressing yourself and and feeling the same way you did on that specific night.

“Too good? How am I too good for you, Buck?” You asked, immediately wiping off the tears that escaped your eyes.

“You have everything planned out! For yourself, for us. And it makes me feel fucking useless! I see you work your way up at your job and I’m still figuring out what the hell I want to do with my life!” He exclaimed.

You shook your head, “I didn’t know you felt that way.” You whispered. “If you told me this then I could’ve done something about it, Buck! Rather than let it get this far, I would’ve fixed it.” You told him and tried to reach out but Bucky took a step back.

“That too! You’re a fixer! You always end up fixing things. This relationship has become an endless cycle of me fucking up things and you picking up the pieces. And every single time you clean my mess, I feel like you’re hoping I’d be like the others. It’s like you’re trying to make me into a person I’m not just so I could fit this, this certain mold you had in mind!” He accused you.

You wiped again your tears and refused to believe him, “That’s not true, Bucky! I’ve always loved you for who you are, I never asked you to change for me!”

“Yes, you do! You never said it but I always felt it...when Steve got promoted and when Sam finally launched his business. You always wanted me to be like them, you never said it out loud but that’s what you made me feel whenever we talk about my job...or lack thereof.” He chuckled bitterly.

Bucky may not be traditional in the sense that he considered himself an artist. He never liked the idea of settling for a nine to five desk job so he took on a job as a tattoo artist. It wasn’t a permanent job and he didn’t have clients demanding for him all the time so it gave him time to work for a motorcycle shop too.

It was never a problem for you but practically speaking, your and Bucky’s joint savings wouldn’t be enough for the future that the both of you have planned out.

“I’ve been supportive of you! I never asked you to give up on those jobs, Bucky.” You defended yourself.

Bucky nodded his head, “You don’t know it but you do. That’s how I felt whenever you suggested that I try something else.”

“It’s because I know you can do so much more! Stay at the tattoo parlor and mechanic shop, then fine! But don’t settle because you have the potential to make it out there, that’s what I want you to know! I don’t understand why you’re limiting yourself, Buck. Why you’re suddenly so afraid.”

You carefully took a step closer to Bucky and thank god he let you this time. You swallowed the lump in your throat and reached out to cup his face in your hand. Bucky was livid, his chest rising heavily with every breath he took.

“You were the one who taught me to be brave, to take risks. I used to be so afraid, remember? Afraid to ride your motorcycle, to try out that job I thought I couldn’t handle. I was so scared to commit,” you chuckled, remembering how much you hesitated to give Bucky a chance when he asked you to be officially his girlfriend.

“...but you’ve always been there for me. And I want to do the same with you. I know that it seems scary to let go of what you believe is your calling. You don’t have to let go of it, Buck. But you gotta try something new too.” You said as you let your thumb caress the skin beneath his eyes.

There was silence between the two of you. Bucky had calmed down and you thought that it was over. Little did you know that it was simply the calm before the storm. Because the words that came out of Bucky’s mouth were the words you didn’t expect to hear.

“Well, this is me trying something new.”

Bucky refused to meet your gaze and simply let your hand move away from his face. You shook your head no as you turned around to compose yourself.

“We were fine this morning, Buck. What happened?” You asked and embraced yourself, seeking comfort you knew you’d only get if Bucky changed his mind.

“I thought we were fine too. But the tattoo parlor is closing in a month and we haven’t been getting plenty of clients at the motorcycle shop. And it just hit me y’now, I dread coming home to you because I know you’d be disappointed and that again, you’d offer to fix my shit and the thing is, I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to fix my shit or tell me how to deal with my problems! I woke up and realized that I just don’t...” Bucky paused when you swiftly turned around with a frown, eyes brimming with a fresh new wave of tears.

“Don’t say it, Bucky. I’ll be better, I promise! I won’t nag you or pressure you into anything. Just please, don’t say it. Please don’t. We can still work this out.” You begged Bucky.

You weren’t sure you could take it, what he wanted to say. You already knew what he was going to tell you, you didn’t want to hear it. Let other people say it but god, it’d break you if you heard it from him.

“I’m sorry but I don’t need you anymore.”

The stabbing pain in your heart felt so familiar, the kind that punched all the air out of your lungs. You thought you were done crying over Bucky, but you were so wrong.

“I fucked up.” Bucky huffed out, bowing his head as if ashamed.

“You realized that just now?” You snickered. “Do you know how long it took for me to get over you? To forget the pain from hearing you tell me that you don’t need me anymore? After eight years together, Buck. You were my first everything and you gave up on us. And you really expected us to be friends, just like that?!” You spat.

“I’m sorry!” Bucky exclaimed, lifting his head to look up at you and you were surprised that his eyes were glazed with tears.

“I was wrong, I was so fucking wrong. Because you were right, I shouldn’t have settled then. But god I was an idiot, an insecure idiot.” He admitted.

“I was so used to being the one who guided you that it fucking hurt my ego when I noticed that you were becoming your own person outside of our relationship. I was supposed to be the one supporting you, pushing you to be better. You ended being the one leading me. I let my ego get the best of me and thought I’d be better off without you. But it was the biggest mistake of my life because when I left, I felt even more lost.” Bucky explained.

You were left speechless, you weren’t sure why Bucky was telling you all this. Did he want you back or was he simply apologizing? You didn’t have words so you remained quiet and waited to see whether Bucky had more to say.

“I’m so sorry, I really am. I hurt you. I should’ve stayed, should’ve worked with you to fix our relationship. I hate what we’ve become, I sincerely wanted us to be civil with each other at least.” He said.

“Bucky, you’ve been saying the same thing over and over again. I’m not sure you understand the situation. I can’t be friends with you. Not after what happened. I thought I was fine but now I realized that I’ve never really moved on from the pain you caused me.” You told him and sniffed, looking back to check whether your friends could see you.

Thankfully, all the guests were still busy mingling with each other. It’s as if the universe meant for this confrontation to happen. But now you weren’t sure what to do after you finally got a clear explanation from Bucky.

“I wanted a fresh start with you.” Bucky said. “Thought that it would make it easier for me to win you over if we were friends again.”

You scoffed in disbelief, “It’s not that easy, Buck. I can’t just let you walk back into my life after your apology. It doesn’t work that way.”

You tried to move past him but he immediately blocked your way, “When I said I’ll always love you, I meant it. I still do. I want to make things right, please. Give me one last chance to fix this.”

Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, maybe it was Bucky’s words and how sincere he sounded that made your head spin. Your heart was racing and your palms turned cold. You wanted him back too, so bad but you weren’t sure if it was a good idea. He broke your heart and your trust, you weren’t sure if you’d survive if he left you again.

“I can’t continue this conversation, Bucky. I have to go.” You told him and made your way towards the door to the venue.

However, Bucky was quick to stand in front of the door. He had a determined look on his face, one that looked extremely familiar. You were still hurt but couldn’t deny the fact that you too, still love him.

Even after everything that had happened, Bucky still owned your heart.

“Bucky, can you please move? I want to go home.” You said and tried to reach for the door knob but Bucky moved and leaned against the door.

“You need a password to get through.”

You rolled your eyes, “We’re way too old for this, Bucky. I’m not playing with you.”

He shook his head, “I’m not playing either. Give me the password or else we’d be here the entire night.”

You huffed out, “This isn’t funny. Let me through.”

Bucky shrugged, “No can do. Like I said, I can do this all night.”

You deadpanned, “What’s the hint?” You asked with a defeated sigh, knowing well enough that there was no way you could walk past him without playing along with his stupid little game.

“Consists of three words.” Bucky said.

“Penis boobs vagina.”

Bucky cackled, “And I thought you said we’re too old for this.”

You groaned, “I’m serious, Bucky. Just let me go.”

“No. I made that mistake once and I’m not doing that again. I love you. And I promise that this time, it’ll be different. I know you still love me too, so again I am asking you to take a risk and say it.”

Bucky said it with conviction and you hated how it made your stomach flip. Up until this day, Bucky had a way to make you fold. And he could still read you.

“I’m not saying it, Bucky. How sure are you that I still feel the same anyway?” you asked.

Bucky tipped his head towards your neck, “Not sure if you just forgot but you’re wearing the promise ring as a necklace.”

Fuck. Of course, you’d forgotten about it. You may not have been wearing it on your finger, but you still continued to wear it. It meant a lot to you even after the break up, so much so that you couldn’t simply throw it away or remove it. You figured that it might be better to keep it around your neck. Out of sight, out of mind but still there. You wanted it to exist, it was a part of you.

“Say it and I promise that you won’t regret it.” Bucky insisted.

“Promises are meant to be broken. You proved that the night you broke up with me.” Your voice quivered when you said that.

“And I want to make it up for it for the rest of my life.” He reassured.

“History repeats itself. I don’t think I can deal with it again if you realized the second time around that you don’t need me. Buck, you really hurt me.” You said, voice cracking before you could even finish your sentence.

Bucky quickly took your face in between his hands and for some reason, it felt right. The warmth of his palm, the love in his eyes as he gazed at you, it felt like home.

“I know and I hate myself for it. So fucking much. But I promise you, it wouldn’t happen again. I fixed my life when you left, realized that you were right. I’m better now. So let me be the fixer this time, let me be the one to fix this mess, to pick up the pieces. Because I’m just as afraid to let you go again. I can’t do that again. I love you and I need you. I always did.”

The kiss he pressed on your forehead caused your walls to crumble down. All of a sudden you were sobbing into his arms and apologizing.

“I didn’t mean to pressure you then, Buck. I didn’t know, I’m sorry too.” You cried.

“Shh, no. Please don’t apologize.” Bucky coaxed as he pulled back to kiss your tears away. “None of this was your fault, baby. It’s all on me. Let me make it up to you, please?”

The term of endearment made your heart flutter and as much as you hated how Bucky easily won you over, again, the love you have for him was quick to outweigh it. You knew you shouldn’t have given in to him just like that, but this was Bucky. He was your greatest love, someone who owned your heart even after he left.

“I miss you, baby. Couldn’t fathom the thought of you being with someone else.” Bucky admitted as he hugged you tightly.

“I was so stupid, so fucking stupid. I hated myself for hurting you. I won’t do it again, I swear.”

His hand rubbed circles against your back, helping you calm down after your breakdown. He swayed you from side to side, pressed kisses on your crown and whispered promises that he was sure he was going to keep and you basked in it. When you finally calmed down, you pressed your face into Bucky’s neck and inhaled his scent.

He smelled the same, like comfort and love and trust. You hugged him tighter and smiled into his skin and mumbled, “I love you.”

Bucky chuckled, “You got the password right but I don’t think I’m letting you go just yet.”

“Nat and Sharon’s gonna kick our asses if they find out.” You chuckled.

He pulled back and stared at you lovingly, “I’ll take the hit for you.” he laughed.

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled again, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“Forgiven.” You told him and stood on your tiptoes until Bucky bent down to meet your lips in a kiss.

You sighed into the kiss. Four and a half years of pain and anger all gone and replaced with the love you always had for Bucky. His lips against yours made you dizzy but in a good way.

It felt right, like this was how things were really supposed to be.

You pulled back and sighed, “As much as I want to stay like this, I’m really tired.”

Bucky let you go but took your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I’m driving you home tonight.” He said.

You smiled.

“And the next night. And the next next night.”

Yet again, Bucky proved himself to be worthy of another chance. Because he drove you home the next night, and the next next night. It went on until he regained your trust back and all was well enough for him to finally reveal the black velvet box that he had been keeping in his pocket since the night of your eventful reunion.

“You need a password to see what’s inside.” Bucky grinned up at you as he bent down on one knee.

You chuckled through your years, “Any hint?”

“One word, three letters.”

You wiped away your tears with a smile followed by a subtle nod.

“Yes.”

Bucky kept his promise all along, he really did put a ring on your finger. Took quite a while with plenty of obstacles that caused its delay, but a promise fulfilled nonetheless.

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm @charminivy @amelia-song-pond @iamvalentinaconstanza @mcubqrnes

#bbbwrites #oneshots: bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky fic #bucky angst #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes angst #sebastian stan

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underestimated-heroine · 2 years

Text

3rd General Reference Post

(sorry if I reblog, it's only to keep from losing this to the sands of time! Also anyone's free to reblog or save this as is the mode on Tumblr Dot Com. Links go to my blog because it's the best, easy way I have to make sure I don't lose posts to deletion.)

General:

Jazz Hands

Bra sizing

What do you want me to do put them back?

Funniest Phenomenon in America

Groundhog Day

McSnatched

Oh my god there's a dolphin

They will steal even the skies from you

Way of the Househusband bags of white substances

Zendaya is Meechie

Block Apps' ads

Poot Lovato

Stolen microwave story

The internet's idea of helping people

Horses wouldn't be horses

Whiteman story

Indoor cats not cunty post

No tangible reason for people to starve

King Taejong fell from his horse

Joke even stem majors will laugh at

Can't cook ramen also might be an alien vid

Heart Power over Horse Power

Onion with a Butt

Teen Titans Quirked Up Green Guy

Absolutely Devastating Typo

Moon Moon

How many Elmo's must die

Teletubbies Chicken Post

Apparently this would really get truckers fired

Treasure under the road

Orange joe

How to draw ref

Gundam Wing Anime Dramatic Nonsense Vid

Cummingtonite

Anti-NFT anthem

Consuming Media Isn't A Zero-Sum Game

Acacia trees across Africa

Whales have memes

We are Not American Hawaii video

What happens if you take ur iphone to somewhere other than an approved iPhone stode

Sociology of antis

Best of Robert Pattinson

Undercover cops in the US

Violets are Purple Tumblr Poetry

Squirrel costume video

Doctor vs. Furry Artist Comic

Some people cry when they're stressed and that's okay

Pokemon Brock Raised His Siblings

Naruto Office Post...

In Yunmeng, the Night before a wedding comic

Fiona transformation scene shitty movie details

I love the way men love post

Gorilla Glue Logo

Baby Oil Condoms

After watching the Shrek film

Left-handed bigotry tags story

Dancing to Nightcore Vid

I'm going to fuck your dad and give him a child he actually loves

Malcolm in the Mittle

Medieval homespun clothes post

Death Note Ace Attorney Heritage Post

Why Pluto Isn't a Planet

Wolf Anti-Cigarette Ad

Witcher Costumes & Posturing

Humans of NY post her mother always new Alex

I'm like 9/11 but a girl

The US Prison System

Jesus had a vampire twin sister

My dad after the moon landing pic

What's up with claymation

3 of your favorite childhood cartoon characters

Personal:

Literally Every Tumblr Update

Manga Pupils

Hal and Peenyo

Casey Frey Videos Last an Eternity

Go forth and fling shit

The optimism of willfully useless anime characters

Writing advice lean into the bad shit

Diego and Rutherford

Gajeel's Function

What ghost me would say to the alligator who ate me

9 years old letters

You don't owe anyone info about your identity

Dark Plank

Least Favorite Recurring Fairy Tail Moment

When Laxus Embarrassed Himself

Basketball gif with my addition about Frank & Steve

The feminine urge didn't set us back...

Sniper red dot is my shadow

ANThropology

Natsu and Gray's Reaction to Erza and the 100 monsters

TomCardy Business Man tiktok

Tumblr said I'm into weird humor like this now

When I was called a "weirdo cunt"

You got two sides to this site

Healthy Boundaries Include Forgiveness

You are the SUN!

#you've underestimated the heroine

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wish-i-wasnt-a-coward · 3 years

Text

Everything and Nothing

Princes move to a town in Florida, Roman is gay, Pat is cute, Logan is a dork, Virgil is angsty, Remus is chaos, and Janus is an icon. <3

Part 1, Part 2 , Part 3, Part 4

Pairings: eventual LAMP (slowburn) Eventual Demus

Warnings: cursing, mention of food, mention of violence, and yelling (not angry) let me know if I missed anything

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Roman Prince was no coward. He had bested many a foe, won and lost fights, shopped in the women's section whilst being given the evil eye, and most frighteningly, in Romans opinion, shared a room with her twin. However, she would be lying if he said that he wasn't terrified.

Now, this wasn't his fault at all. She hadn't told her brother to attack the kid, she had nothing to do with the fight at all. Despite her lack of involvement, the principal of the academy the twins went to thought it was best that the Princes no longer attended his school.

Roman’s parents had been fairly understanding. And, after Remus explained why he had attacked the kid to their parents. They decided it was for the best if the whole family moved.

So here she was, sitting amongst towers of boxes in a small orange room. There was only one window and a creaky pull-out bed which roman immediately threw himself onto as soon as she entered the room. He groaned loudly pulling out his phone. It had been the longest day in the history of days, there was no way that he was going to be unpacking for a long ass time.

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After a few hours of scrolling through the corvidcore tag on tumblr, Roman dragged herself off the lumpy mattress. He stretched and popped his back in a very satisfying manner. ‘It's about time I did some exploration’ she thought to herself.

“MA! I’M GOING OUT” Roman yelled down the stairs as he grabbed his docs. “K, BE BACK BEFORE 8:30!” her Ma yelled back, shooting him a thumbs up from the couch where she played cards with Remus, and Romans Ren. He nodded to her on his way out the front door.

It was a cool spring evening (as cool as it can be in Florida), moss hung from the green trees, birds screeched and twittered at each other from branches. A gentle breeze blew causing her red trench coat to flap behind her. Her docs scuffed against the sidewalk as he took a deep breath of the humid air.

The perfect time for a walk. All he needed now was a destination.

And it certainly didn't take long to find one. After around 8 minutes of walking through the town, he found a small shopping district. Taking careful note of the many thrift stores and the small pastel bookstore for himself as well as a leather and tattoo shop and for Remus.

It was difficult to not go into all the stores at once (especially one that had the most fantastic button-down dress in the window) but Roman kept walking.

Finally Roman decided on a destination. A hole in the wall cafe called the jasmine dragon had caught his eye (had Roman heard that name before?). A sweet tinkling was heard as roman opened the door, a cheery voice in the back could be heard over gentle music playing through the sound system, the song was nostalgic and sweet. Roman was almost sure he had listened to it previously, something about being able to love. The shop was almost empty save for an old couple and….. Oh god. Roman was so gay.

Across the room leaned up against the cash register joking with the cashier was the cutest person Roman had ever seen in her 15 years on the earth.

It felt like something out of a shitty fanfiction, his mouth went dry, the world spun and all he could see were those smiling blue eyes.

Suddenly those piercing eyes were on him. “Hello!!! I don’t think I’ve seen you around, are you new in town”. The person said as they walked towards her. ‘Sweet apollo, why has tho made me such a disaster gay’ roman thought to himself.

He shook off his awestruck expression and did what she did best, acted. “Indeed I am a lovely stranger. My name is Roman, what are your name and pronouns?” the person giggled (oh god roman was so gayyyyyy “I’m Patton, my pronouns are he/they today, thank you for asking! What are yours?”

‘Eeeeee he's not straight’ screamed Roman in her head. “It is beyond lovely to meet you, Patton, my pronouns are she/him” Roman grinned down at the curly-headed person. Taking a moment to admire the beautiful being in front of her. Their blond hair was dyed light blue at the tips causing his fluffy hair to look like a halo, they wore a blue skirt that hooked over his shoulders and a short sleeve white button-down with little dog and cat faces. What looked like potatoes hung from his ears and clinked into their large circular glasses, tasteful makeup adorned his cheerful face, but not enough to hide the smattering of freckles that covered his cheeks.

“Can I have your number?” the person Roman had most likely just been staring at blurted out. She jolted a bit, shocked by their sudden proclamation. “You seem very cool and I would love to be your friend. You can say no, of course, oh my gosh I’msorryifImadeyouuncom-” the blond hastily corrected, realizing what he had said. However, they were quickly cut off by the taller figure in front of them, “Of course you can have my number! You also seem very cool and I would love it if we could be friends” Roman said excitedly.

Patton grinned and handed her their phone. Roman handed them his phone and looked down at the baby blue case. It seemed that they had a thing for color coordination. Dope, Roman could respect that.

Roman being the gentleperson she of course offered to buy Patton a cup of tea and the pair sat down in a booth striking conversations about everything and nothing all at once.

#sander sides fanfiction #sander sides #Royality #Patton sanders #Roman Sanders #Everything and Nothing #LAMP #demus #ts royality #ts roman #ts patton #tss #my writing #ts lamp #dukeceit

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ukiyoexo · 3 years

Note

hi can i ask for tips on how to start posting my fics on tumblr?

first, the fact that you want tips from me makes me feel all warm inside like ahhhh? like me??

i think to give the best tips, it really depends on what part of posting fics you struggle with, you know? like is it the confidence to post, or what aesthetic to go for, or how to tag etc. but i’ll just give you some general tips and if you have another question feel completely free to send another ask! <3

first, you just gotta go for it. write something, anything, and be like: you know what, imma post this! we tend to be pretty self critical of our work so even if you think it’s a shitty piece of writing, i highly doubt it.

when it comes to aesthetic, scroll through some of your favourite blogs and take inspo from them. putting three aesthetic images at the top is pretty common and in my opinion, posts that look well put together always look more enticing to read. you can find aesthetic pics on pinterest by searching [insert] aesthetic. you can search by general vibes so like soft or dark, or you can by colour, or even more specific like coffee or angel etc. you can also make banners by using photos from pinterest, editing shape and size and adding stickers of filters on picsart and then adding text on phonto (i also download fonts from dafont).

tagging posts is by far the hardest part of publishing fics. tumblr sure does love to screw content creators over. how to tag fics can also vary depending on the fandom. in kpop you generally want to tag with the idols name or group name and then fluff, angst and/or smut. then just the idol and group. also putting [idol] imagine or drabbles or social media au etc. again just checking your fave blogs and seeing how they tag things will help you

tip for when you tag a post as well, once it’s published, search up one of the tags you put (tumblr normally only acknowledges the first fifteen) and check whether it comes up in recent posts for that tag. if you’re a newer blog then tumblr may think you’re a bot and not show you’re posts so either delete and repost or post some random things over a space of a couple days until they start showing up in tags.

depending on what you plan on writing another important thing to do before you even post is to make a masterlist and some guidelines (this part is more important if you’re gonna write smut). having a masterlist set up means people are able to find your works way easier and having guidelines helps if you ever want to open requests

IMPORTANT REMINDER: you are not required to take requests or write ones that you recieve. if someone sends you a request you are not comfortable with or simply don’t have inspo for or vibe with, you do not have to write it! it is you’re blog and you write what you want. you writing requests is just something extra you are doing and is literally you making personalised content for someone for free so it is not a must.

another important reminder is that it’s also completely ok to take breaks, no matter how long. it’s ok to post one short drabble and not post for another three months, take you’re time, this is a hobby not a job and you should enjoy it, even if writer’s block is kicking your ass (which is also annoyingly common)

to solve writers block or to get general ideas i recommend taking inspo from even the most simple of things in life. like little wholesome moments or just the things you’ve been enjoying recently eg writing about playing your current favourite game against an idol and winning for the fifth time in the row. it’s also fun to switch up the fandoms you write for if you feel like it. i write for kpop, ice hockey and mcyt so there’s really no limit!

if you want to link posts to others, here’s a guide one of my first ever mutuals made me back when i was first getting into fic writing. here’s a guide i just made bc i realised that one is kinda outdated.

that actually brings me onto the point of making fellow writer mutuals can be really great when it comes to posting. having that lil support system of fellow writers to talk to, to bounce ideas off, to collab with, etc can really help!

now, final tip i can currently think of (again send an ask if you need more specific advice) is read fics! i barely read fanfiction nowadays (ok literally not all anymore) but when i was first getting into writing, it really helped. reading how other people write will hands down help you figure out your own style of writing and grow as a writer overtime.

oh that also reminds me, if you take inspo from someone else’s writing, it’s greatly appreciated if you ask the op if you can write something based off their work etc, and also even tag them in the piece. of course this doesn’t apply to general ideas, like there’s probably a million college social media aus, but if it’s something specific, it doesn’t hurt to ask

#emma.answers #anon #writer tips #writers tips #hope this helps you anon! <3

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the-dreadful-canine · 3 years

Text

I posted 1,573 times in 2021

277 posts created (18%)

1296 posts reblogged (82%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 4.7 posts.

I added 1,020 tags in 2021

#dragon age - 249 posts

#solas - 224 posts

#dragon age inquisition - 114 posts

#solavellan - 88 posts

#oc: elizabeth montes - 76 posts

#wip wednesday - 68 posts

#dai - 59 posts

#lavellan - 54 posts

#oc: fane lavellan - 51 posts

#mellan lavellan - 37 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#these two. i love whatever is going on between them. the 🌟 chemistry 🌟 when they simply interact fills up the serotonin tank 😌💖

My Top Posts in 2021

Story time: Middle-aged dalish elf and former Inquisitor, who had Solas as his brother from another mother is on his way to kick some good sense into the old wolf's fluffy rear, because you don't abandon family, and he's going to save his brother from himself, even if he has to bring Solas back by the ears like a mabari.

Tempted to call this drawing done because my brain can't stand to look at it for not even one (1) second longer, but I'm determined to at least throw some colors before I give up on it >:v

59 notes • Posted 2021-05-27 23:57:54 GMT

The truth is that with how fcking good game graphics are now, I am simply not going to ✨ survive ✨ the sight of 4K Solas striding in front of me 😫💖

125 notes • Posted 2021-09-04 14:58:57 GMT

On my long list of things I'd love to see in the next Dragon Age

Gifting party members

"Press x button to hug/hold hands/smooch"

Day/night cycle

Proper calling out of Tevinter' shitty slavery system

Dwarf LI

The ability to blow up one (1) Chantry

A mage that won't betray me

135 notes • Posted 2021-07-22 14:23:24 GMT

Blackwall has a dadbod going on under all that armor and I will take no constructive criticism on it.

He soft and very warm and makes a prime cuddle buddy, once you manage to corner and drag him for a nap.

193 notes • Posted 2021-08-05 14:13:48 GMT

But who unflips Fen'Harel ears when they get stuck inside out. He's all alone.

247 notes • Posted 2021-08-04 00:10:37 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #and of course i never finished ferian's drawing #and just like the mutuals i too won't shut tf up about solas <3

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in-tua-deep · 4 years

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tua s1 rewatch with my roommate

episode one (I forgot for the first episode oops):

I have been treated to pictures of a lovely cosplay of Klaus who won a cosplay contest my roommate was in !!

Klaus putting his arm in front of Five during the funeral fight is good shit

“I have heard like nothing about Vanya” “yeah that’s pretty much how she’s treated in show as well”

“I can see why he’s the fandom favorite” - about Klaus

“Istanbul is in the firST EPISODE?”

I forGOT about the “rapists can climb” line when he breaks into Vanya’s apartment omg but also like,, his dumb arm wound

Episode two:

HERR CARLSON

Aww baby fives first time travel his little smile. Baby. Baby boy. And the dawning horror in the apocalypse baby nO

Five: you got anything stronger

Also five: takes one sip and then fills up more, takes another sip, and then immediately puts it down ?????

The motel dude for hazel and cha cha just looks at them like “yeah these are serial killers” and just rolls with it

Also actually why tf doesn’t the commission spring for better stuff?? Why would they cut costs?? They time travel? They could game the stock market so hard ?????? Give the assassins their own rooms omg

Also why didn’t five like. Crush his tracker. Why did he just leave it whole and intact outside of the Griddys.

Forgot how much I love Agnes

(Oh man it is storming bad here it just BOOMED)

Also idk if Diego actually deserved that taser hmmmmm but also like,, communication lads five was literally right there killing people and Diego is like “hmm something is up here” like. Yeah Diego ur big brother “I can get my sibling in trouble for something” senses are tingling

Wow I really did repress all these Allison and Luther scenes huh. Also it’s still super cute that Allison read Claire moon books

Allison: dads heart gave out, which wasn’t how I was expecting to find out dad had a heart but it tracks

“SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE BEN... said with love 😘”

Did five actually sleep at Vanyas?? The sofa looks undisturbed but he had to wait for work hours to interrogate the meritech people,, five,, please sleep. The whole “IF YOU CALL ME YOUNG MAN ONE MORE TIME” interaction makes more sense with five on. Zero sleep.

I didn’t remember that Patch straight up knows about the umbrella academy oops. Like she clocks Diego as overcompensating for his childhood. Queen

Is that an umbrella adademy Diego cross stitch on Diego’s wall?? Did he buy that? Make it?? Did grace make it?

Vanya, walking into the academy: five??? five? pspspspspsps

Also like. Who was Vanyas therapist??? Clearly they did not help her

Aww the tow truck driver :(

I know the show wants me to dislike Patrick I KNOW,, and I think her fathers funeral is extenuating circumstance?? But still Patrick is valid for not giving an inch regarding his ex who mind controlled his child. Vanya didn’t really deserve Allison snapping at her but like. She had some good points. Allison arguably would have had to deal with vanyas book more than anyone else

Five smiling proudly at Klaus’s drama at meritech bless but also KLAUS DONT BREAK GLASS ON YOURSELF

Me, spotting Leonard: BASTARD

Love how everyone greets Diego in the gym and don’t question all his knives or anything like “yeah that’s Diego he lives here and loves knives :)”

Why could Leonard have not been like. A normal ass guy. Vanya needs friends who sympathize with her holy shit get this person some socialization

Pogo really did have to lead these kids by hand to the recording rooms because literally no one was super invested in reginalds ~murder mystery~

ahafahJAGSJWGAI MY ROOMMATE JUST SAID POGO IS THE BEST CHARACTER SO FAR,,,, I will probably never include pogo in my fics because I do Not Care About Him lmaoooo

Aww five does to see Dolores and being like “it’s been a rough couple of days :(“,,,,, baby,,,, but also tag yourself I’m hazel going “elastic wrist splint yesssssss”

Five I am begging you PLEASE get some sleep

OH FIVE SHAKING DIEGO IN THE APOCALYPSE TO TRY AND WAKE HIM UP OHHHHH OH :(

Episode 3:

my roommate is super faceblind which is an issue bc she identifies people mainly by hairstyle so seeing the s2 stuff on tumblr is tripping her over bc she keeps seeing diego and going ??? who is that again? bc she’s seen his longer hair

okay there is no way that the eggs that grace put in that pan are the ones that ended up on the smiley face breakfast plate,,, but also grace that whole scene was a mood honestly i would be like “okay maybe mom killed dad BUT he deserved it sooooo”

“what the FUCK” - my roommate about cha-cha’s shitty wound care where she holds a curling iron against her arm

i didn’t remember that five got shOT AT THE DEPARTMENT STORE did i just erase that from my memory?? i mean yeah it’s a graze but he stitches it up and then slaps a bandaid on it so he has a wound that needed stitches on his shoulder for the entire show ??????? is he okay???? that would make moving your arm,,, painful,,,,,

a bandaid just slapped over it i’m actively yelling

“Sometimes when I see a million gifs of a show before I watch I get really surprised when they talk but he is exactly what I expected” - my roommate, about five

“I noticed they’ve only really showed diego in really badly lit scenes so far” - my roommate defending her lack of ability to recognize diego

i’m still laughing about pogo literally having to point out the murder tapes and now allison and luther are investigating and just. allison is lowkey defending grace and i’m laughing

“why is he saying woodwork is embarrassing that’s like one of the most middle of the wood hobbies to have. you’re respectable to grandpas who used to carve wooden ducks AND twenty-year-olds who can’t make anything to save their lives” - my roommate on leonard peabody

“i think he’s already crossing some lines he’s met this lady ONCE” - roommate on leonard/vanya

five having flashbacks in the car :(

did allison and luther draw straws for who went to fetch which sibling?? allison was like “dibs on vanya” and luther was just like “aww :(”

five luther and klaus in the van - BOYS NIGHT BOYS NIGHT let’s go pick up diego

“the coat he’s wearing does have a nice swish to it” - roommate about klaus’s coat

luther being like “you’re just as messed up as the rest of us and we’re all you have” like luther,,, baby,,,,, you literally ARE all he has,,,,,, his family is the only thing he’s really cared about since he was thirteen and maybe before then :(

“I can’t tell if those are supposed to be cake or yeast donuts... i think extruded donuts are cake donuts but she said she lets them rise so maybe they’re yeast?” - my roommate focusing on all the things that i do not

sometimes i forget that hazel and cha-cha pretended to be private detectives trying to find a lost child in a potentially dangerous situation,,, five would be disgusted

“she shouldn’t get a vote” “i was gonna say i agree with you” “she should get a vote!!” this is peak sibling energy honestly i think i’ve had that exact interaction with my siblings voting for a movie or something

“hashtag android rights”

“I want to be the tailor who gets a call one day that says ‘i want you to make clothes for a chimpanzee”

is it telling that only luther in the flashback didn’t really talk to grace at all,, i mean five didn’t either but i think he was gone by that point in the flashback ????

wait diego tells grace that she worked for him for thirty years,,, the kids are 29 and later it’s implied she was built bc vanya kept killing nannies when they were like four but maybe s2 clarifies that some more?? or diego just is rounding up

“that’s an interesting fabric to her skirt” - my roommate about grace’s outfit

forgot that hazel and cha cha broke the door to the manor busting in,, do they ever fix that?? we’re only at episode three do they spend the rest of the season with their door open to anyone on the streets

okay that bathtub is WAY too small to allow for klaus to be moving his elbows about like that underwater smh

“how is HE useful on mission??” my roommate about klaus

where is the SECURITY SYSTEM??? luther LITERALLY said that reggie was more paranoid and yet some assassin can just bust down the door and have unrestricted access????? he built a whole ROBOT but no security system????????

“maybe it was like,, practice for the kids? someone breaks in and they take care of it? wait no that doesn’t explain the thirteen years they’ve been gone?”

“why WAS he on the moon?” - about luther

“I want to see what she’s embroidering!!” about grace during the gunfight in the living room she’s absolutely ignoring diego getting shot at

what is a rope-a-dope,,,, diego yells “EVER HEARD OF A ROPE-A-DOPE???” at luther but like. no i haven’t. what does that MEAN diego

aww i forgot they played sinnerman, love that song

“what are you doing dude, rumor has it you’re not shooting at me that’s all you need to do” i mean. the roommate is not wrong. allison could just end the fight with a yell. i understand she’s pissed off and has rumor trauma but like cha cha is actively trying to murder them

how is luther not winning he literally has super strength. does hazel have super strength? just punch the man and knock him out jesus y’all suck at this smh

why is there such intense music we all been knew about luther’s strength - oH HIS BODY

forgot about that

is it allison’s fault that klaus got kidnapped because she didn’t literally just rumor them to give up?? like she literally has that power. she could have been like “i heard a rumor you left and forgot about us” it didn’t even need to be violent?? i understand she has rumor trauma but this i feel is allowable circumstances

diego showing his worry about vanya by getting angry which honestly i think all the siblings do that rip none of these idiots have even heard of healthy communication in their LIVES

you know,, i don’t think vanya can drive. she takes the bus. she took a taxi to leonard’s house. we see her walking a lot. does she know how to drive?? i imagine that the umbrella academy were taught bc of mission related stuff but,,, vanya wasn’t?? that’s just depressing tbh

#tua rewatch #i cannot beliEVE she likes pogo so much #pogo was complicit in the hargreeves abuse no i wont change my mind #i would be more likely to forgive him if he didnt keep mentioning how much reginald loved them #pogo fam dont say that #youre just going to feed luthers daddy issues #more to come #i cannot BELIEVE i forgot five got shot/grazed in the arm by a bullet #he slaps a BANDAID OVER IT #right after i said five is better at woundcare than cha cha with the curling iron #he just #slaps a bandaid on it #not even a big bandaid #that motherfucker

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