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dustofthedailylife · 11 months

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The Art Of Desire

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Pairing: Alhaitham x (gn!) Reader

Summary: You are in need of a model for your anatomy class assignment. However, the last thing you expected was that your crush would volunteer to help you and that he would end up standing in front of you without a shirt.

Tags: Fluff, Suggestive (but still completely SFW)!, shy reader, partial nud*ty I guess? (Alhaitham is shirtless at some point), flirting, kissing

A/N: *throws fic into the room and leaves*

Being an artist while also being a scholar in Sumeru had always been somewhat difficult for you. The arts had never been something most people in Sumeru City appreciated or even actively looked down upon. It was a city of scholars after all, and the arts were too abstract to properly grasp for most of them.

Things had begun to become better after the old Grand Sage had been replaced and the new Archon had been freed but a lot of scholars still didn’t show much interest in the arts.

But due to that an assignment for one of your classes proved difficult. Anatomy.

You had no idea how learning human anatomy would help you as an architect later, but you did what you had to do. And it would surely help you with your personal art projects later on as well.

The only thing you had to find now was someone who could pose for you. Surely Kaveh would be able to help you right? He was your best friend and was once in the same situation.

You sought him out where he hung around the most - the Tavern.

As you walked through the Tavern door, warm air that smelled like wine and spices wafted your way and filled all your senses. You loved how homely it always felt here.

You scanned the tables to find Kaveh. Unfortunately for you though, he wasn’t alone. As you feared, Alhaitham was with him. You already considered turning around to leave again but Kaveh had already spotted you and was enthusiastically waving for you to come over to their table.

And that was precisely the reason you rarely ever came here nowadays. Kaveh often met up with Alhaitham here for lunch. And your crush on the latter had slowly but surely turned you into a nonsense-blabbering mess during conversations with him. At this point, he probably thought you were stupid.

You hesitantly tiptoed over to their table and greeted them while your heart pounded heavily inside your chest. You sat down on the bench next to Kaveh who was already a bit tipsy. It wasn’t much of a surprise, since he was such a lightweight and practically got drunk as soon as he looked at wine the wrong way.

“Kaveh, I need your help!” You pleaded, trying to avoid eye contact with Alhaitham as much as possible once again.

“And that would be, my dear friend?” Kaveh replied in a singsong voice.

“Alright so… I need someone to pose for me. I need to draw a couple of detailed torso drawings for the anatomy course I’ve been taking, and since you also took that once I thought you could help me. I mean, you could also give me some tips. Right?”

“Oh.” His smile faltered for a brief moment and his facial expression told you everything you needed to know. There was apparently a reason he couldn’t help but he didn’t outright want to turn you down. You knew how he is, he simply couldn’t say no and would inconvenience himself any time for his friends. And you definitely didn’t want him to do that for you. You’d be able to find someone else somehow.

“It’s okay if you can’t do it. Just say no.” You reassured him.

“I have an appointment in the desert with a client, but I’m sure I could make some ti–”

“I’ll help you.” Alhaitham cut Kaveh off.

Both of you snapped your heads in his direction in disbelief.

“Are you sick?! Why would you volunteer to help anyone but yourself?” Kaveh gasped and looked at the Scribe as if he’d lost his mind.

“It’s not much work, is it? They could just come to my office and draw me while I just sit there doing my work. Isn’t that correct?” Alhaitham inquired, boring his turquoise eyes into you. You simply nodded in reply and could feel your breath hitch in your throat. You were sure that if you would be standing right now your knees would’ve probably given in by now since they felt like jello. On top of that, your nervousness skyrocketed so badly that you were able to feel your heartbeat in your throat.

The thought of being alone with Alhaitham for a prolonged period of time while ogling him as closely as you never dared before, made your heart flutter. You probably wouldn’t be able to concentrate on drawing properly but if he was already offering it, you couldn’t possibly refuse. Especially since he usually didn’t do anyone any favors to begin with.

“Besides,” Alhaitham continued. “It gives me an excuse to decline every other meeting for the rest of the day.”

“Tch, typical. Of course, there’d be an egoistic reason for your volunteering.” Kaveh scoffed.

“I don’t see any issue with that. I help them with their assignment while also helping myself. It’s a beneficial endeavor for both of us.” Alhaitham reasoned, twirling his own wine cup between his fingers before turning to you again. "Wouldn't you agree, too?"

You slowly nodded before quickly averting your eyes again since you couldn't bear to look at Alhaitham for longer than a few seconds without getting flustered. You had no idea how you were supposed to look at him for a prolonged period of time to draw him if you were already reduced to a flustered mess by talking to him. The thought alone made your heart almost jump out of your chest.

Kaveh shook his head in annoyance and turned to you once more. “Just say the word and I’ll take a day off to help you. Rest assured, it would be no problem for me.”

“No, Kaveh. I couldn’t possibly ask you to neglect your own responsibilities for my projects. Just keep your focus on yourself. If Alhaitham is so kind to offer his help I’ll take him up on that.” You reassured him while trying to hide how nervous you actually were about the situation.

“Well, shall we get going then? My lunch break is almost over.” Alhaitham interrupts, immediately getting up from the table.

You somewhat hesitantly got up as well since you didn’t expect he meant you could draw him right now. You had no time to mentally prepare for it so this would be interesting.

“Oh, so now you suddenly care about getting back to work on time after your lunch break,” was the last thing you heard Kaveh yell before the door of the Tavern fell shut behind both of you.

As you quietly tailed behind Alhaitham back to his office the realization that you’d actually be drawing him now suddenly began to dawn on you.

Oh, just what did you agree to here? And how in the world should you avoid making this awkward now?

Once you arrived at his officeAlhaitham unlocked the door and motioned you inside.

“You can sit down at the table over there. Do you need anything?”

“No. I should be fine.” You replied with a shy smile.

You were in fact everything but that.

While you were trying not to have a meltdown as you unpacked your stuff, Alhaitham was brewing some coffee and handed you a cup as well.

“Do you need me to do anything?” He asked.

“Hm?”

“In terms of posing.”

“Oh. Uh– no actually not. Just sit on your chair and read or whatever?”

“Nothing easier than that.” He replied with a faint smile, grabbing a book from the bookshelf beside you and walking back to his desk.

You busied yourself by scanning the books on the shelves that littered his office while sipping on your coffee before you turned around again and had to stop yourself from immediately spitting your coffee out again. Although as soon as you did you wished you had never done so.

Alhaitham had unclasped his cape and had loosely thrown it over his desk and was just about to pull his shirt over his head. You were trying to process what was happening before your eyes but your mind was racing so fast that you failed to fully grasp the scene before you.

“W-what are you doing?!” You stammered.

“Didn’t you say this was for your anatomy assignment?” He inquired, seeming entirely unbothered before ultimately removing his shirt completely.

Well, yeah you did. And for that bare skin was sort of a requirement. You knew that full well, too. It just sort of slipped your mind that taking Alhaitham up on his offer would actually entail seeing him without a shirt as well.

“Y-yes.” You replied, moving your eyes over his now exposed abdominal muscles. His usual shirt already left little to the imagination, but actually seeing his trained body without the thin piece of fabric covering it was a sight for sore eyes.

He claimed to only be a feeble scholar but that notion couldn’t be any further from the truth.

“Then there you have the answer to your question.” He stated matter-of-factly before sitting down and opening his book to read. His face still looked as unbothered as it did before and he immediately lost himself in his book.

In the meantime, you tried your hardest to get yourself together again. Not only did you need to keep your eyes from wandering but also your mind.

You traced every well-toned muscle of his upper body. How light and shadow formed their contours and how his pectorals moved whenever he flipped another page. You took note of every detail and etched it into your memory while suppressing the urge to brush over his defined muscles.

You sat down at the table and held onto your pen for dear life as you continued to analyze every little detail of his body. The embedded gem between his collarbones and hot it beautifully shimmered in the light of his office. The sharp V-Line that started right above his hips. The symmetric curve of his collarbones leading up to his shoulders. And his turquoise eyes that were boring into yours once again.

"Is anything the matter?" He inquired, lifting an eyebrow.

"N-no. I'm just trying to find a starting point." You stammered your poor attempt at an excuse.

After all 'Sorry, I was too distracted by staring at your body' wasn't something you could just say either.

“T-tell me if you’re getting too cold and we can take a break.”

“It’s 40 degrees outside, I’ll be fine.” He chuckled seemingly amused about your concern.

“Ri-right. Yeah. Okay.” You awkwardly bit your lip. For Archon's sake, why couldn’t you just behave normally around him?

After overcoming the first awkwardness you eventually started sketching. But the more the shapes on your paper resembled the beautiful man in front of you, the more flustered you became again and the more aware you became of the fact of how closely you were actually looking at him. Your attention to detail for this sketch was even more on point than it had ever been before. Upon realizing that it was because you were enjoying what you were seeing your cheeks started to burn in embarrassment.

You spent about an hour immersed in sketching, carefully studying every contour of his upper body. It felt so intimate that you couldn't help but wonder if anyone had ever looked at him this way before. And even though you kept telling yourself that this was just a regular art study session to avoid getting flustered further, the endeavor proved completely unsuccessful.

Eventually, you finished your piece and dropped your pen on the table. You lifted your sketchbook up to evaluate the page and the final result.

The once-blank page was now filled with an intricate pencil sketch of the handsome man with a dreamlike physique. You had to admit, he truly was the perfect subject for anatomy studies. And while you wouldn’t mind seeing him shirtless more often you doubt your heart could handle it another time. Because despite sitting the entire time you felt like you had just run a marathon.

“Your talent is quite impressive.” Alhaitham’s voice rang right next to your ear and made you flinch. You didn’t notice how he had approached you. And what made things worse is that he was still shirtless while standing next to you so closely you could feel the heat that emanated from his skin and smell his after-shave.

You gulped and got up from your chair avoiding looking into his eyes as much as possible because you feared that if you did your heart would burst out of your chest.

“Thank you. That means a lot. I-I mean… it was quite easy to see the muscle definition on you.”

Facepalm. Why did you say that? You internally cringed at your choice of words and continued to avoid looking at him while you hastily started packing your bag again.

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” He remarked with a smirk and lifted your chin up with your sketchbook, forcing you to look into his eyes.

You opened your mouth in order to say something but everything you could’ve said died in your throat. So instead, you simply continue to stare at him while your heart felt like it was about to combust and you wanted nothing more than to sink into the ground in shame.

He huffed in amusement at your evident flustered state and closed the gap between your bodies, placing his arm next to your head on the wall, towering over you.

“Do you have any idea how obvious you are?” He asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I see the way you look at me, or rather how you always avoid doing so now. And Kaveh happened to slip up and revealed your secret when he got drunk. And that’s why I can tell you that I feel the exact same way about you. And I’ve longed for a moment to tell you. You didn’t make it easy since you kept avoiding me lately.”

You didn’t know whether what was happening was wishful imagination or a fever dream because it felt surreal.

He put your sketchbook back on the table and lifted your chin with his free hand now. He took hold of one of your hands and placed it on his abs.

“This is what you wanted to do the entire time, am I right?” He whispered while the bud of his thumb brushed past your lower lip. You slowly nodded as your traced along his toned stomach with a featherlight touch, feeling how the muscles moved below your fingertips.

“May I kiss you?” He whispered in a low tone when you looked up into his eyes.

He had barely even finished asking when you leaned into him more and took the initiative to place your lips on his for a shy kiss. But it was so fleeting it had you longing for more and it seems that the feeling was mutual.

He quickly snaked his arms around your waist and pressed you against him with fervor while he hungrily crashed his lips into yours once more. You slung your arms around his neck and entangled your fingers in his soft gray locks while pushing his face even closer to yours than it already was.

You could feel him smiling into the kiss, as you did so. His lips continued to gently caress yours like a tender whisper of affection shared only between you two. It made you feel lightheaded while also leaving you longing for more. It was an intoxicating feeling like no other. One you certainly could get addicted to - and maybe you already were.

At some point, you had no idea for how long you had been standing there kissing but it felt like an eternity yet not long enough at the same time.

You were sure of one thing though – You needed more of it.

Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about Genshin or my fics are always greatly appreciated and motivate me! Maple dividers are mine - do not copy.

#genshin impact #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader #alhaitham x reader #al haitham x reader #alhaitham x y/n #genshin fluff #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin alhaitham #genshin x female reader #genshin x y/n #genshin impact fanfic #genshin drabbles #genshin scenarios #genshin brainrot #genshin headcanons #cw: suggestive #🍁 dust writes

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vanillabeenflower · 2 years

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Blush Blush Controversial Opinion ™️

The title is a joke, I don’t think this is really that controversial but I’m not sure

(Heads up for long kinda-ranting and long-winded nitpicking)

So I have gotten the news that Seth has been added as a dateable boy and I went to the Crush Crush wiki to look at the new info added on the pages and to also save some pictures for reference (I normally do this) and after a few days, I have come to a conclusion that idk if anyone else has about Seth, but I don’t think that his design is very… “demonic”, I guess?

I’m not saying his current design isn’t good, I LOVE his design and how cool it looks, and I think his animal form is one of the coolest looking in the game yet, it’s just that his fully changed form isn’t that demonic-looking at all. I have also had this thought when I did his Phone Fling, he just looked like a Regular Guy, and when he was added as a dateable character, this just confirmed that thought for me.

His hybrid form looks more like a demon than his actual form!

I’m not in any way criticizing the artist for this game, they can draw things I wish I knew how to draw, and to be fair, it is an anime (?) game and they do have to make the boys look somewhat like that. I can just headcanon that this is just a form Seth takes on in the Overworld to avoid drawing attention to himself, but I also wanted to edit some things, just for me and for some practice on how to do this. I’ll just say that I made a form that he takes on at the house, where he is not as susceptible to being spotted by people. Keep in mind that you don’t have to agree with me on this, this is all just my thoughts on this.

Breakdown

So, I wanted to go over each feature that I thought needed some work in order to give a better understanding of the things I am talking about.

First are his eyes.

Seth’s eye color is pretty unusual for a human (red), but in this world humans can have any eye color including purple (Dmitri), yellow (Volks), and orange (Eli, although in some expressions his eyes are brown). At least I expected more unnatural eyes, like slit pupils. Nothing too extravagant, but at least that. I will add this to my comparison.

Second are his physical features.

There is nothing to know that he is a demon apart from his horns. Not even little things like making his teeth (or just his fangs) slightly bigger than normal or little details like that. If you took away the horns, you wouldn’t even know he was a demon, but I like the creativity that his hood has horns to hide his actual horns. The horns are a bit too small and almost look decorative, not like an actual part of his body. I at least expected a type of tail. I will once again headcanon this as he hides his tail when in public to reduce suspicion of him, but I will add the tail in my revision. I also made his ears pointier, which I thought was a hallmark of demonic creatures, but that’s probably just me.

Third is a major pet peeve of mine, the hair. (Oh my gosh, I need to put a small rant warning here):

I have noticed that this is a problem with almost all of the guys, the lack of almost any body hair. They all either have no body hair at all or when it is drawn, it looks like an afterthought. They all look completely hairless and weirdly shiny like they’re covered in oil, when skin usually has a matte texture (not shiny/glossy). Men have a higher amount of body hair, and I am not saying to just completely blanket them in hair, but at least add something like arm or leg hair or something. I have noticed this after a while and since then, and today, it looks weird every time I do. It’s like SPS is almost scared to add anything but facial hair to them. It can be a hard task to add hair to a character since it looks off sometimes, but you get better at it over time and it gets more natural every time you do it. I’ve been scared of adding facial hair and body hair in general because of how weird it would look, but I’ve gotten more comfortable with it. And idk if anyone has said this yet, but facial hair can do wonders in aging a character. Every male character I’ve added facial hair on immediately looked somewhat older. It sounds like I’m overreacting, but holy crap, it makes a HUGE difference. I know that everyone is not into body/facial hair, but it was just bothering me. Seth is a 918 year old demon, he should have some sign of aging! But then again, idk if his age in “human years” is something younger, since I assume demons are immortal, so this is just a speculation that he should look slightly older than he did look. I tried not adding too much hair on his body and face, and I tried following the male body hair pattern, but I’m still pretty new to this. I also fixed his head shape since I thought it looked kinda weird.

Revision

Here is my revision of Seth (I used the Lover event photo b/c it shows what I was talking about better). Idk if I overdid it or made him look too old or what, but I think I did pretty good overall.

And here is a gif comparison between the original

Feel free to tell me what you think!

Again, this is just my opinion on him. You do not even have to agree with me, I just wanted to share my thoughts and see if anyone else felt the same way.

#stuff i made #blush blush #blush blush game #long #stuff i wrote #long post #redesign rants

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lonelypond · 2 years

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Keep Your Hands Off Nico-chan

NicoMaki, Love Live X Keep Your Hands Off Eizoken!, 1.5K, 1/1

Summary: Maki brings Nico to a summer party. Nico draws some attention.

Keep Your Hands Off Nico-chan

“Maki-chan, Maki-chan, c’mon, HURRY!” Yazawa Nico pulled her girlfriend into the huge backyard of the house they’d just been dropped off at. Nishikino Maki could feel Nico’s excitement through the connection of their hands. Nico was practically bouncing, which there would be a lot more of, since the backyard of the Mizusaki family, all famous for acting and modelling successes, had been transformed into a trampoline adventure park. Nico was already tearing off her kicks.

“This is so cool.” Nico easily pulled herself up on one of the central trampolines, “C’mon, Maki-chan! You have to try this.” With a happy laugh, Nico launched herself into the air, twintails flying up.

All her ingrained hospitality training urged Maki to greet the hosts first so with a wave to a disappointed Nico, Maki went in search of any member of the Mizusaki family to hand over the gift her parents had sent. The daughter, Mizusaki Tsubame, was hunched up over a sketch pad, precariously balanced on the end of a lounge chair, hat pulled down. Maki recognized concentration mode so continued past, but a hand reached out to grab her t-shirt.

“Nishikino-san.” Mizusaki muttered without looking up from her sketching.

“Mizusaki-san, thank you for inviting us. My parents sent this…” Maki hesitated, Mizusaki was obviously not going to reach out and receive the host gift. Maki decided to drop it next to the lounger.

“Can you get that girl you came with to get closer?” Mizusaki glanced up at the trampolines.

“Huh?”

“That girl you came with, can you get her to come closer. Do you see her facial expressions?” Mizusaki unpretzeled her legs, sitting forward, turning a new page.

Maki was surprised by another person, scrabbling out from under the trampolines, camouflage hat askew, her combat ready backpack not really something Maki expected to see at a summer party.

“Did you spot her too, Mizusaki? Definite talent. If we use the trampolines as a launch pad, checkerboard flooring but multicolored, maybe pastels, she looks good in that pink, maybe get something going with super hero poses?” Backpack girl's ideas rushed out.

“Oh, that’s a good idea.” Mizusaki made a few quick notes.

A tall, slumping woman appeared suddenly next to Maki, “Nishikino-san, like the Nishikino medical group?”

“Um, yes.”

“How did you hear that Kanamori? You were all the way over there.” The under trampoline gremlin threw out her arm.

Kanamori shoved down from the hat, collapsing backpack girl like a telescope, “Investment opportunities shout, Asakusa. Now get back to work.” Maki was suddenly subject to a snaggle tooth, slightly feral smile, “While I talk to Nishikino-san about the synergy of serendipity.”

“What’s her name?” Mizusaki tugged on Maki’s shirt again.

“Who, Nico-chan?”

“NICO!” Mizusaki stood up and waved, making sure she caught Nico’s attention, then she knelt next to an Asakuza who was debating which direction to scramble off in, “She goes through like 100 facial expressions a minute. If I could capture that…”

Asakuza tilted her head, “Really clean motion too. Maybe give her ears, like a bunny.”

“I like that.” Some more notes.

Kanamori had crept closer, sliding her phone back into her pocket, “So has this idol group of yours ever considered an animated music video? We could easily turn that around…”

Backpack girl had flopped on her back, “Don’t wanna. No singing. Superheroes.”

“Singing superheroes? Ultra Idols with combat dance moves…” Mizusaki offered, more quick sketches.

“Hey, Maki.” Nico had sprinted over, sweaty and excited, “Who are your new friends?”

Maki sighed, “Actually, I’ve known Mizusaki-san for years…”

“Mizusaki, Mizusaki Tsubame?” Nico pushed past Maki, hand out, “Yazawa Nico. Big fan. Your latest candy campaign was literally the sweetest.” Nico winked, “Got any pointers for Nico.”

Mizusaki relaxed, eyes sweeping Nico's face. “I’ll swap pointers for posing.”

Nico frowned, “Nico doesn’t understand.”

“Do you always call yourself Nico.”

“Yes.” Maki and Nico collided, verbally, in totally different moods.

Another note for the sketchbook.

“Posing? Like Nico Nico Ni.” And Nico went in to full incandescent charm mode, bouncing into her signature gesture.

A pause, while everyone not Maki blinked.

“We could animate that, cheap.” Kanamori now loomed over Nico.

“Nico doesn’t do cheap.”

“Superhero.” Backpack girl was up, knees bent, one hand raised, fist clenched.

“Super Nico.” Nico considered. “So you draw Nico.” She turned to Mizusaki.

“We use you as a figure model. Your facial expressions are amazing. I could draw you all day.” Mizusaki flipped through her pages, showing Nico.

“Did you see this, Maki?”

Maki shook her head.

“Nico is an inspiration.” Nico nudged Maki with her hip; Maki rolled her eyes.

Backpack girl decided to go to the left, “If we take the left turret there and raise the height and attach the chessboard and add a control panel the length of the house, and some kind of rotating signal, surround the house with a moat, pour in dolphins mutated with sting rays…”

Kanamori lifted Asakuza off the ground by the straps, “Let’s talk over here.”

“Okay.”

Nico remained focused on her new bff. “So what do you want Nico to do?"

Mizusaki pointed to the trampoline, “Climb up there and give me your best flying poses.”

“And then we take a selfie for TWIG. And you follow Nico back and share Nico’s cute summer outfit and how Nico inspired you with your fans.”

Maki nodded, Nico the negotiator. That was her girlfriend. Never too starstruck.

“Deal.” After the handshake, Mizusaki settled into a comfortable position, sharpening a pencil.

Nico pulled herself up on the trampoline, bouncing gently as she considered poses. “Ready.”

“Ready.”

“Nico Nico” and Nico bent her legs and pushed off, bringing both hands together above her head. “Ni.” And Nico flew and bounced and somersaulted and Maki watched Mizusai paying too much attention to Nico. So she started to pace, wanting to go get a drink or dessert that might lure Nico back to earth but unwilling to leave Nico alone with the enraptured Mizusaki.

Nico pulled up her knees, in the air, hugging them, then exploded, arms out, super super idol smile and Maki just wanted to pull her off the trampoline, around the corner of the house, and into a personal, private hug. Mizusaki only seemed to be gaining energy, ignoring the heat. Maki glanced at her phone, surely 30 minutes was enough Nico time for anybody but family or her. She strode to the edge of the trampoline, hand out.

“Let’s get a drink, Nico-chan.”

Nico could see the tension in Maki’s jaw and shoulders. She was learning Maki's limits. Maki had brought her to this party and so far gotten zero Nico attention. That would tank anyone's mood. As much fun as Nico was having, it’d be even better if she could coax Maki into laughing or smiling.

“Hold out your arms, Maki-chan.”

“Huh????”

“Hold out your arms.” Nico opened hers; Maki imitated the move.

Another bounce, but as Maki followed Nico’s trajectory, she realized the fast, tricky pink ball of cute was heading right for her.

“Catch me, Maki-chan.”

“Please don’t die,” Maki thought, frantically bracing for too much momentum.

###

N; Does Maki-chan still hurt?

M: No, I’m fine.

N: Then why’d you miss dance rehearsal today.

Maki was lying on her stomach in bed, ice sitting on top of her.

M: (￣ー￣；

N: Nico could kiss it and make it better.

M: §;ﾟﾛﾟ§

M: It’s Nico’s fault.

N: Nico was going for romance. Maki needs to do some pushups ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

M: ᕦ⊙ ෴ ⊙ᕤ

N: ❤❤❤

Maki got a message from an unknown number.

Hi Maki, Nico gave me your number. Thanks for introducing me to Nico.

The next text from Mizusaki was a full color watercolor sketch, Maki stepping backwards, Nico in her arms, Nico’s arms wrapped around Maki’s neck, Nico kissing Maki’s cheek, which is the exact moment Maki lost her balance. Mizusaki had even managed to catch the start of panic in her eyes. And the glow of excitement in Nico’s.

Mizusaki: I’ve messengered the original over as a thank you.

Maki zoomed in on the sketch, noting every detail of Nico’s expression. She'd reply to Mizusaki tomorrow.

M: You’re the cutest.

N: Are you on painkillers?

M: Ice for my [redacted]; this for my heart.

She forwarded the message.

N: We look cute. We made new friends. Nico is good for you.

Maki laughed, almost rolling over, then wincing with pain at the movement. And yet still she typed.

M: ┌( `ー´)┘

N: Nico is faster.

M: ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪♬

N: Nico is dancier.

N: But Maki might be cuter. Nico can’t be sure. Send a selfie.

M: Tyrant.

N: (✿ ♥‿♥)

M: I’m tired （－－； walk me to school, tomorrow, Nico-chan.

N: ( •̀ᄇ• ́)ﻭ✧

N: I’ll be there. Get some sleep.

N: d=(´▽｀)=b

M: Too soon *groans with remembered pain*

N: (๑˃́ꇴ˂̀)

N: ღゝ◡╹ )ノ♡

M: Good night, Nico-chan.

Maki shifted, smiling. Tomorrow, she’d see Nico. No one pushing between them. Just time for the two of them. That was always something to look forward to.

A/N: One of the IF Heaven challenges is a crossover fic. Keep Your Hands off Eizoken! is amazing and full of joy so I thought it would go well with Love Live, also amazing and full of joy. The first time I watched Eizoken, I realized Maki and Tsubame were likely to get along. As long, as Mizusaki-san isn't too inspired by Nico ; )

#NicoMaki #Nishikino Maki #Yazawa Nico #Love Live #keep your hands off eizouken!#mizusaki tsubame #asakusa midori #sayaka kanamori

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antimonarchy · 3 years

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How to Create Image Descriptions

So I’ve been creating image descriptions on tumblr for about a month, and I wanted to share some helpful guides I’ve found on how to create them as well as my own tips that I’ve picked up. Video descriptions and transcripts are also necessary, but since I mostly focus on image descriptions that’s what this guide is about. This might get a bit long, so fair warning.

What are image descriptions?

Image descriptions are a textual depiction of what is going on in an image, as shown with the image below.

[Image ID: A picture of a person with short black hair working on a computer. They are sitting at a wooden table with a large blue pot of pink flowers in front of a grey brick wall. A guitar is propped up against the wall in the background, and there is a string of lights near the ceiling. /.End ID]

Why create image descriptions?

The primary reason for creating image descriptions is to allow people who are blind/have limited vision to experience visual content. Many people who are blind/have low vision use screenreaders, which read text out loud when it is clicked or hovered over with a mouse. A large amount of online content, such as pictures, graphics, or drawings, is visual and so possibly cannot be experienced by someone with vision problems. As a general rule of thumb, anything that can be dragged or dropped most probably requires a description. In addition, if someone has partial vision and attempts to zoom in on an image, sometimes it can become pixelated and impossible to understand.

Some neurodivergent people might need a description to understand the tone of an image, such as the meaning of facial expressions of a person to understand what emotion the artist is trying to depict

Some people might not have high speed internet or have low computer memory, meaning that they turn off images in order to save space. This means that they as well might require descriptions of visual content

Are image descriptions the same as alt text?

no, alt text and image descriptions serve the same purpose, but they are different in how they are presented. Alt text, short for alternative text, is included in the html of an image and can be read by a screen reader. However, there are many reasons why many prefer image descriptions over alt text.

There is a limit of 200 words in alt text on tumblr specifically (and not in other contexts, which makes this information only applicable here), which means that detailed images or graphics are unable to be described fully without possibly cutting out important information.

People who require descriptions, but who do not use a screenreader, must right-click and search through the html of an image in order to find alt text, but with an image description they are saved that work.

Who should create image descriptions?

Everyone who is able to should create image descriptions. A content creator is best able to communicate the message of their work through text, as they are the one who created it and thus understand its message the best. While of course it takes practice when starting out, over time image descriptions become second nature when posting visual content. Always check the notes of a tumblr post for an ID rather than reblogging without one.

What should be included in image descriptions?

There is no simple answer to this question, there are a variety of resources and guides on how to create one, and you should not accept my advice as the ultimate authority, as I am by no means a professional, and only create descriptions in my spare time as part of the effort to make Tumblr more accessible. However, here is my information for those starting out.

First, consider what type of visual content it is. Is it fanart of a tv show, a screenshot of a tweet, or an informational graphic meant to educate people on a particular issue?

Then, consider what information is most important in the image. If the visual content is an image of a famous building, then in writing the description the focus should be on the building, rather than describing for instance the color of the sky, surrounding buildings, or the clothing of the people walking by, as they are not the information that is being presented.

Perkins ELearning has an excellent list of things that should generally be included, which I will include here. In my experience, these are the most important elements to describe

The people and animals in an image

The background or setting of an image

Elements that relate to the context specifically, so if it was an image of a congested highway on a news website, the description would mention the packed cars

The colors of an image (don’t overdo it however, a simple ‘light blue’ will suffice, no need to say something like ‘a color blue that is similar to the color of a robin’s egg’ unless it is crucial to the viewer’s comprehension of an image)

Context for an image. For instance, imagine if someone had drawn a version of the Bernie Sanders ‘I am once again asking’ meme, with Eleanor Shellstrop from the Good Place saying “I am once again asking for there to be a Medium Place.” Rather than provide a description to the example such as: [Image ID: A drawing of Eleanor Shellstrop saying “I am once again asking for there to be a Medium Place.” /.End ID] you would instead say [Image ID: A redraw of the Bernie Sanders ‘I am once again asking’ meme with Eleanor Shellstrop from The Good Place saying “I am once again asking for there to be a Medium Place. /.End ID]

If the image is of a social media post, include the username/handle of the creator as well as the reactions (likes/reblogs) if they are visible in the image, as they may be cut off by the original screenshotter.

If it is a drawing or piece of art, always look for the artist’s signature when writing a description

How do I write an image description?

To start off, here is an example description written for a piece of art I made myself.

[Image ID: A digital drawing of Suki from Avatar: The Last Airbender over a gold background. She is shown from the shoulders up facing the viewer, and has a neutral expression. She is wearing metal armor over a light green tunic, and is wearing her Kyoshi Warriors facepaint and headdress. The artist’s signature ‘Astra’ is written in the lower right of the image. /.End ID]

In this description:

I made clear where the description begins and ends, so that someone with a screenreader is not confused. I usually use brackets ([ ]), write the words ‘Image ID’ (or video/gif/other) and finish with a slash, period, and the words End ID. (/.End ID)

I emphasized the type of image, in this case a digital drawing

I said the character’s name (obviously this may not be known if describing a photo or something you are not familiar with)

I described the background and the character’s clothing

I described her expression

I included the description of my signature.

This is my basic process for writing a description

I first say what the content is, such as a drawing, photo, or screenshot of a tweet.

I then use what is called Object-Action-Context for the most part, which UXDesign has a long article on https://uxdesign.cc/how-to-write-an-image-description-2f30d3bf5546. For example, [Image ID: A photo of a person standing in a crowd waving to someone out of view in front of a river. /.End ID] While obviously I would usually provide more information than that, Person = object, standing + waving to someone out of view = action, and ‘in a crowd’ = context.

I describe the clothing that might be worn

I talk about the position that people in an image might be in, such as leaning against one another on a couch, or standing with their fingers intertwined

I talk about the expressions on their faces, if shown

I talk about their general appearance (if important to the description) such as hair color/length

As said before, I talk about the context of an image if necessary

If the background is a simple color, I usually include it in the first sentence of the description. However if it is more complicated, such as a river winding through a dense forest, I include that at the end of the description after describing the important elements.

Typically if I am reblogging an image, I do not add on any commentary after creating an image description, as this allows others to reblog my description without my personal reaction. If I want to add on to an image, I usually reblog my description post.

In general, it is best to remain objective when writing a description, meaning not including your opinion of the content. However especially in an informal setting, say for instance you were describing an adorable cow, I would see it as fine to say [Image ID: A small drawing of an adorable cow. /.End ID] because the emphasis is on the appearance. There isn’t a clearcut answer, and it really depends on the context.

What are some tips for writing descriptions/common pitfalls?

If there is an element of an image like a line that represents an emotion, or a sound effect like ‘clang’ if something falls, include that in the description. For instance, [Image ID: ...beside the mug that has fallen on the floor, there are the words ‘sploosh’ indicating the sound of the water that has spilled out. /.End ID]

Put image descriptions first. Don’t hide them under readmores or any other text. If you have something with multiple images and you are the creator, place the description under each image in succession rather than all at the end. Readmores are ableist, as they require someone who has vision problems/one of the conditions described above to do more work to access the message of visual content.

If you are mentioning the skin color and/or race of someone in an image, make sure you describe it for anyone else who might be in an image. Don’t just describe the race of someone who appears to not be white. This doesn’t mean that you have to describe race, such as if the character is one whose race is commonly known, just that if you do, make sure you do it for all characters/people in an image.

In order to write IDs effectively, I’ve found it useful to download a screen reader. I use NVDA, which is entirely free and easy to use and can be downloaded here: https://www.nvaccess.org/download/.

Insert + Q turns it off

While my guide has focused mostly on image descriptions, video descriptions are also necessary. However they are not my area of expertise, and differ slightly, so I would recommend anyone interested in them to check out this website https://www.washington.edu/accessibility/videos/

Transcripts, for those who are d/Deaf/Hard of Hearing, are also necessary for making content accessible, and might be required for content that also has a visual format, such as a Tiktok. I would recommend this website https://www.w3.org/WAI/media/av/transcripts/ for anyone interested in writing transcripts

What are some more resources I can check out?

Here are a series of websites that I have found while researching how to write descriptions

UX Design - I mentioned UX Design earlier when talking about Object - Action - Context, this article is very useful and examines how to structure a description and provides very useful examples for beginners

Perkins E-Learning - This article is very useful in helping someone what to include in a description, such as clothing or background information, as well as providing some additional information on alt text if you are interested

Meloukhianet - This blog post by s. e. smith goes into detail on the elements of an image to emphasize depending on its context, using the example of a picture of their cat sunning himself.

SOAP - This article by the Stanford Online Accessibility Program (SOAP) provides a large amount of information on the purpose of image descriptions and what content requires them

HubPages - This article by SOTD and Zera discusses the difference between sparse, lush, and overdone descriptions, which is the amount of information included, and if/when each should be used.

I hope you found this information helpful, I encourage everyone to check out these websites, and my inbox is always open for questions!

#has id #please feel free to send me any questions you might have!#while I am not a professional by any definition of the term #accessibility is a large interest of mine and so I am more than happy to help #image descriptions #accessibility

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soothinglee · 3 years

Text

"it looks like i'm best"

c!dream x reader (1/2)

masterlist

genre: angst

warning(s)?: nothing yet.

this is has some lines from ENA- Temptation Stairway

(I dont not own these lines I just found inspiration from them. All credit goes to Joel G.)

Dream and Y/N have always been competitors since birth. Everything they did together was a competition. From who could brush their the faster to who could run to the community house the fastest. Dream always won. Not because he was the oldest but he had always been the most athletic. Could jump over a three block high wall and run for miles on end. Not only that but his stamina had always been high. Plus, Dream was always able to become good friends with people, they always liked him but avoided the gaze of Y/N. Dream always said that they were 'allergic to people' which made them stay away.

What made things worse was that Dream was mommas favorite boy, favorite child.

That pissed Y/N off to the end of time. Everything they tried to do always failed and they could never keep up with their brother. They tried working out for hours on end just to come home feeling weak and worn out. No sign of improvement happening. It was a loss cause.

Well...that was until Wilbur saw what was happening. After coming from a hangout with Sapnap, George and their brother they decided to take a walk. Their brothers bragging and flirting with a certain brunette becoming too much to handle.

Eyes trained on the ground, stumbing here and there while fiddling with their white and brown sweater they tumble into a figure that was much larger then they were.

"Woah, hey. Be careful there." A hand comes out to steady Y/N. If it wasn't for that they would've fell over and hurt themselves. "might wanna look up where you're going, don't want to hurt yourself now do you darling?"

Y/N looks up, Wilbur peers down at them from above as he smiles. Theres an undescriable glint in his eyes that seem all too familiar. Moments pass when things start to feel uncomfortable. "Excuse me Wilbur, I wanna go home. Plus you shouldn't be by me."

Wilbur gives a laugh in disbelief, his facial expression goes from a happy one to a slight shocked. His eyes narrow and his mouth goes slanted. If Y/N was going to be honest it kind of looked like he was taking a dump. "ha..excuse me? what do you mean I 'shouldn't be by you'? I quite confused and would love if you could explain that for me." Wilbur shifts on his feet and fixes his collar. Almost as if he was trying to...assert dominance...

Y/N rubs their pointer finger on their nose, they sniffle while their eyes start to water, an itch of a cough echos in the back of their thorax. Dismissally they say, "Im allergic to people" as it was nothing in the world. To them, it seemed normal. They've been told it all their life it was like it was nothing new. To wilbur though, it was a strange sentence, nothing he'd ever heard before. It was interesting , they were interesting. He liked that.

You see, Wilbur has always noticed how Dream practically bullied Y/N everyday of their life. How he always beat them. Wilbur hated that. Not only because he disliked dream with a burning passion but how much potential Y/N could give if they just had the right training.

Shaking his head he turns his attention back to Y/N who had been, drawing in the dirt with rocks and sticks. Wilbur whistles to gain their attention. "Y/N c'mere." they sigh and brush off their dirt covered jeans with a huff.

"what?"

"I have a proposal for you, one I think you'll like."

Y/N looks up and sighs, "What could you possibly offer me wilbur?"

"okay first off, rude. Second I see how Dream treats you. You and I both know how much that brothers you. So," he snaps his fingers. The sudden sound making Y/N jump. "How about I teach you how to fight. How to finally beat your pesky brother for the first time in your life. How does that sound?"

Y/N sucks their teeth and scoffs "I couldn't ever be as good as my brother. Theres no way I could beat him. Dead or alive."

This makes Wilbur laugh and he bends down to Y/N height "Well- ever heard of a monster pig named Technoblade?"

This causes Y/Ns' eyes to widen, they nod rapidly "Yes! I love technoblade. Ever since I read about him taking that village down in the paper with a single swoop in the paper I've always wanted to be like him."

"well guess who trained him?" a smirk starts too makes its way onto his chapped lips.

Y/N gives a skeptical look "No-"

"mhm"

"no WAY, YOU trained Technoblade!?"

"YEAH, I taught him everything he knows."

Y/N gives Wilbur a look up and down. For someone who trained the notorious Technoblade he doesn't seem like it. Dressed is a shaggy yellow sweater with a white long sleeved shirt underneath, his bottom half wears brown leather pants, a red beanie and circle glasses adorn his semi-round face.

"hm, okay. So where should we start off first, Teacher Soot."

taglist:

@angelicaschuyler-church

@kusuinko

#ENA #temptation stairway #DreamSMp x reader #Dream x reader #Wilbur x reader #Angst #revenage #x reader #Dsmp #Sibling!reader #cmerearson #C!dream x reader #C!wilbur x reader #dream smp techno

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mysmemissme · 3 years

Text

Up the Rabbit Hole

Summary: You have a problem- you can't stop thinking about how good Barbatos looked in that bunny costume. It's interfering with your studies, duties, and even your friendship with him. With no clue what to do, you begin to avoid him.

Barbatos, however, is not fond of this fix, and when his patience runs thin, he offers you a more unorthodox solution.

Pairing: Barbatos/ Reader

Rating: Explicit

CW: Prostate massage, anal fingering, collars, slight master/pet

Read below the cut or on AO3

A gift for my friend for Barbatos’ birthday! Enjoy!

It was all that bunny suit’s fault.

Ever since everyone was forced to don those dumb bunny costumes, you had been an utter wreck. You couldn’t focus on your studies, earning you an earful from Lucifer. You couldn’t focus when you were cooking, earning complaints about the pitiful state of dinner from everyone but Lucifer. You couldn’t focus on Mammon’s schemes, or Levi’s games, or Satan’s recommended books, or Asmo’s fashion advice, or Lucifer’s lectures, or Beel’s workouts, or even something as simple as napping with Belphie. You couldn’t focus on anything.

Except for the mental image of Barbatos in that bunny outfit.

Why it had enchanted you so much was a mystery. Maybe it was the change in wardrobe; the way the vest highlighted his slender waist and broad shoulders, the lime green tie bringing out the same shade in his eyes. Maybe it was the ears themselves and the charming tail that accompanied them; the ears revealing a cutesier side to the ever-serious butler, and the fluffy tail drawing attention to his rounded behind. Maybe it was watching him work in the suit, catering to guests as serious, as dedicated, as always, despite the circumstances. Maybe it was the way he wore it all with no shame, not embarrassed in the slightest at the large ears, rounded tail, and odd situation, retaining his confidence through it all…

Maybe it wasn’t a mystery why you liked it so much after all.

Either way, your thoughts and preoccupation with the memories of Bunny Barbatos were providing you with issues- the biggest of which being that you couldn’t even talk with Barbatos anymore. You couldn’t make eye contact with him without thinking about floppy ears and a firm build. You couldn’t listen to him speak without the deep timbre of his voice igniting fantasies mid-conversation that left you a stuttering mess. Even simply being near him caused your brain to derail, hands to sweat, and heart to pound.

In one moment of weakness, you bought a dark green collar you saw while browsing the web, one you knew would look amazing on Barbatos, especially paired with the cursed ears and tail. You hid it in your bedside table, refusing to acknowledge just how far gone you were, refusing to acknowledge the new images, fantasies, and dreams it sparked.

You, in embarrassment and for your sanity, started to avoid him.

You weren’t dumb enough to think this would solve the problem, especially with how sharp Barbatos was. What you had hoped was that Barbatos would tolerate your finicky behavior without prying just long enough for you to get this problem under wraps.

For a while, it worked- Barbatos allowed you to make your escape, sending any messages he needed to tell you through the brothers. He left sweets wrapped with notes attached on them for you to enjoy on your bed. If you ended up in the same hallway, he kindly ducked into a nearby corridor in order for you to pass unhindered.

This game continued for two weeks- you avoiding him, and Barbatos letting you. His patience was commendable, and it was just another thing you admired about him. He let you go, again and again, in an unusual game of cat and mouse.

But everyone’s patience runs out eventually.

It was on the fifteenth day of this arrangement that Lucifer handed you a note. It read:

Dear,

Meet me in your bedroom tonight at eight ‘o’clock sharp. There is something we must discuss. No more running from me.

Sincerely,

Your faithful servant, Barbatos

You read over the note again with trepidation and glanced at the time on your D.D.D.- 4:01. You had four hours to prepare yourself for the inevitable conversation you knew was to come. Four hours to get yourself under control. Your stomach tied itself in knots.

Stupid bunny outfit.

-----

Time flew, and before you knew it, eight was upon you.

You paced outside your door, fidgeting with your hands and hair. Your nerves were getting the best of you. What if he rejected you? What if he no longer even wanted to be friends with you? What if he called you a kinky freak and exposed you? What if he convinced Diavolo to send you back to the human world?

‘What if’ upon ‘what if’ piled up in your mind, each one more ridiculous and implausible than the last. It was agonizing, not knowing what was going to happen when you stepped through the door and faced Barbatos. You felt the seconds tick away, each pressing down on you more and more.

Finally, you couldn’t stand the pressure and anxiety anymore. You flung the door open and stepped into the dimly lit room. There, on your bed he sat with-

With bunny ears on and the suit to match. Suddenly, you felt like passing out.

When he saw you enter, he moved to stand, and a flash of light from his neck caught your eye. The bunny ears had distracted you from the rich, dark green velvet adorning his slender neck, the gold chain attached matching the golden detailing and swirls on the green.

It was the collar you had bought. He was wearing the collar you had bought and hid.

“That- that’s the- But I- How’d you- Why’re you-,” you stuttered. Your thoughts were a jumbled mess, and they all came rushing out in an incomprehensible mess you continued to stumble through, even as Barbatos glided towards you. He raised a gloved hand and caressed your face when he was near enough to. He shushed you.

“A few days ago, I came in here to drop off a slice of Devil food cake, and I intended to leave a note. However, I seemed to have forgotten a pen. I didn’t mean to pry, but I figured that one such as yourself would keep a pen near your bed, so I looked in your bedside table. While I certainly did find a pen to write with, I also found this charming collar hidden away. It seemed to match perfectly with a certain outfit I wore not too long ago. Care to explain?”

His facial expression never changed, but his eyes shown with a mischievous sheen, his voice filled with amusement, and there was a slight self-satisfied quirk to his smile. You could try and lie your way out of this one, but it was clear he had figured you out long ago. You sighed.

“I think you already know everything, jerk,” you grumbled, before continuing louder. “Fine. You were really hot in that bunny outfit, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I bought that collar because I thought it would look good on you, and I was right. I’ve been having inappropriate fantasies about you, which is why I’ve been avoiding you. There, happy?”

He chuckled. “Quite. Hearing such flattering words come from you is always welcomed. Since you were so honest with me, I believe you deserve a special treat.”

“What do you mean by ‘special treat?’ Like dessert?” He hummed, obviously amused.

“No, I believe something else is in order. You mentioned certain… fantasies pertaining to me, did you not?” You nodded dumbly. His lips twitched, and he reached for his tie, slowly loosening it. “Well then, since you were honest about having them, as a reward I’ll allow you to fulfill them.”

Your brain was running a mile a minute but still couldn’t seem to catch up. “Fulfill my fantasies?” you questioned.

He fully removed his tie, moving to lay it on the bed. He then began to undo the buttons on his vest and shirt, revealing inch-by-inch more of his pale skin. “Yes, fulfill your wishes. Touch me as you wish, direct me as you want. Command me, your humble servant.”

It was like his words had cast a spell on you, because suddenly all the desire and lust you had been repressing for the past weeks welled to the surface. Your hands itched to touch, your tongue to taste, and your eyes to look upon him below you.

“Lay down on the bed.”

He did as told, and you closed the distance in a second, straddling his body. His dark hair fanned out against the pillows, bunny ears tapping the headboard. His eyes practically glowed with a mix of satisfaction and interest. His shirt and vest were completely undone, hanging open. You swallowed.

You pushed the shirt and vest down his arms, and with his help, you removed them completely. Now that his upper body was completely visible, you couldn’t stop your hands from dancing along his shoulders, collarbones, and chest with frantic energy.

“You know,” you started, voice thick, “In my fantasies, I like to spoil the always-composed butler with attention and pleasure till he so overwhelmed that his mask breaks, and I get to see him beg. Spoiling someone who always works so hard, like they are my pet who did a good job, and this is their reward.”

“Then by all means, Master, reward me, your humble bunny.”

You didn’t need to be told twice. You leaned down, pressing kisses along his flawless skin from his partially exposed neck, to his collarbones, to his nipples. Your lips latched onto one, sucking and tugging lightly with your teeth, while the other one was pinched with your eager hand. You heard him sigh, but that wasn’t enough- you wanted to hear him lose his composure completely.

You move to the other nipple, laving it with attention as well, till both nipples were hard and perky. Once you were satisfied with that, you continued your path downwards. You alternated dotting his skin with kisses and light nips, stopping to suck here and there. When you passed his belly button, getting ever so close to the waistband of his pants, you felt his stomach tighten in anticipation.

You reached for the button on his pants, undoing it and shoving them down to his ankles, stopping to admire the bulge in his boxer briefs before shoving those down, too. His cock now free and hard, it stood proudly towards his stomach, leaking precum.

You wrapped your hands around it, looking up at Barbatos’ face for any sign of change, but his expression was as placid as always. Using the precum dripping from the tip, you wet your hands, before setting a steady pace of jerking him off, slowing at the tip to rub your thumb against it.

You looked up at his face, yet his expression had not changed despite the pleasure.

You were going to have to up your game if you wanted him to melt beneath you.

You stopped your ministrations, leaning over Barbatos to reach into your beside table. You pulled out the lube you had stashed there, closing the drawer, and moving back down Barbatos’ body. You spread his legs and settled between them, popping the lube open. You poured a sizable amount onto your palm, then began rubbing your hands together to warm the liquid.

“This okay?” you asked, circling your middle finger around his tight hole, but not entering.

“Touch me as much as you want, wherever you want,” he said, voice husky. You rolled your eyes.

“Is that a yes? I need a clear one.”

“Then, yes.” He spread his legs even wider, giving you ample access.

Now that that was out of the way, you tentatively pushed your finger into his tight hole. With your free hand, you grabbed his cock once more, stroking it to make sure he felt good even while you stretched him.

You began to thrust your finger in and out, letting Barbatos adjust to the sensation. When you felt him relax and loosen slightly around you, you added a second finger. He hissed at the additional digit, and when you checked to make sure he was okay, his eyes were closed, eyebrows raised and furrowed.

You stopped moving. “Is this-,”

“Yes, it’s okay. Keep going,” he grunted out, wiggling his hips. You started thrusting your fingers again, and he sighed.

Oh, okay.

So, he was feeling it, but you still wanted more.

You replaced your random thrusting with rubbing against his inner walls, searching for what you knew would cause him to crumble. It took a few moments, but you knew the second you felt the bump that that was what you had been looking for.

You began to circle the small bump, applying steady pressure, causing Barbatos to arch off the bed. Proud that you had gotten such an obvious reaction out of him, you doubled down, circling faster and tightening your grip on his cock as you continued to jerk him off.

You then alternated between circling, tapping the bump, and rubbing it in a ‘come hither’ motion. Barbatos’ legs began to quiver, and when you glanced up, you saw he had become a mess- panting with his mouth open, sweat beading on his brow, and cheeks flushed pink. You stared in wonder, adoring his reactions.

And yet, it still wasn’t enough- he still hadn’t made any noise.

Desperate for him to moan or gasp or anything, you replaced your hand on his leaking cock with your lips, circling the tip with your tongue and licking the underside, before taking him in your mouth.

“Ah!” he gasped, bucking his hips, pushing his cock further into your mouth, the taste of his salty precum and his smell overwhelming your senses. As you took him deeper, you applied more pressure on his prostate, all while keeping your motions random.

It was then that Barbatos’ poise began to collapse completely. He started wiggling his hips, thrusting forward and backward like he was chasing both the warm heat of your mouth and the shocks of pleasure your hand was providing with his prostate. One of his gloved hands came down to rest on the back of your head, fingers wrapping your hair and holding you in place as he used your mouth. He moaned as he fucked your mouth roughly, cock touching the back of your throat.

Then, a loud moan he released caused you to look up once more, only to meet his hazy gaze as he stared down on you pleasuring him. Your eye contact seemed to add fuel to the fire as the grip on your hair tightened, and his thrusts became faster. From how he was biting his lips and arching his back, you could tell he was close, so you ground your fingers against his prostate, harder than before, right as his cock was fully sheathed in your mouth.

With the simultaneous overpowering sensations, he came, sighing long and low as he filled your throat with his cum. You managed to swallow most of it, though some slid down your chin. After a few seconds, when he was done basking in the afterglow of his orgasm, he pulled his softening cock from your mouth, and you moved back from between his legs so he could pull his pants up.

Once he was tucked back in and pants buttoned, you figured you were done and went to stand, only to end up flat on your back on the bed, Barbatos straddling you in a surprising role reversal of earlier. You gaped up at him. His face was already back to normalcy, but his lips were shiny with spit and his hair tousled.

He reached up, taking off his bunny ears and putting them on you. He leaned down, licking the cum off your chin before whispering against your ear.

“Now, it’s my turn.”

#barbatos #barbatos x reader #obey me #shall we date barbatos #shall we date obey me #writing #hope you like it!#remember my requests are open!#comments likes and reblogs appreciated!!#happy birthday barbatos #bunny barbatos

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fyeah-bangtan7 · 3 years

Text

Jung Kook: “I think we’d better not ever stop”

We asked Jung Kook to draw anything he wanted for the photoshoot. The photos featured in this article are snapshots while Jung Kook was at work. Even when the photoshoot was finished, he left the studio only when he completed his drawing.

“Butter” has been at the top of the Billboard Hot 100 chart for six weeks straight. (This interview took place on July 12) Jung Kook: I was never attached to rankings, but as good as it is and as happy as I am since we’ve kept setting records since “Dynamite,” it also feels like a burden.

Is it because you’ve been successful beyond anything you could’ve imagined? Jung Kook: Sort of. A huge number of people have given me recognition, so I’ve been going along thinking I have to work harder, but we did even better with “Butter” than with “Dynamite,” so I think I ended up feeling weighed down. That’s what I’m like. BTS is an amazing team, but maybe my problem is that I’m not able to keep up with BTS.

You were the one to set the mood for “Butter” by singing the intro to the song. Didn’t that make you feel good? You were definitely as amazing as the team itself. (laughs) Jung Kook: “Butter” just feels so good. It’s different from our usual style, so it felt different while recording. The song’s great, too. I love that, but it’s separate from that feeling of pressure. I mean, I hope BTS does even better, honestly. Lately I’ve been thinking that that pressure means I need to do better. After “Dynamite” became number one on the Billboard Hot 100, it’s not like we’re being forced to try harder; it’s just my personal ambition. I think I can do better.

Why do you think “Dynamite” wasn’t as satisfying? Jung Kook: Because I couldn’t express everything I wanted the way I wanted to. When I listen to the remixes, I think about how I could’ve sung it differently. Like, “Aw, man! If only I could do it again!” (laughs) I got some things from singing “Dynamite,” like, I’m not quite there yet. So I try to practice singing at least an hour every day, no matter what. Any singer who’s been at number one on Billboard for six weeks had better be really good at singing. That’s what I think.

Something about the way you sang in English probably made you hear your own singing in a new light. Your tone is different from when you sing in Korean. Jung Kook: Sometimes you have to bear down a little on your words to talk in Korean. Plus I’m from Busan, so I speak in a little bit of a low voice. I don’t have that when I use English, though, so it’s like there’s pros and cons. It’s easy to use your head voice when you sing in English as well, but it can be uncomfortable, while in Korean, if you try to sing higher using your head voice, it can sound a bit nasally sometimes. But at the same time, it can be hard to break old habits when I sing in English since I’ve always been singing in Korean.

“Dynamite,” “Butter” and “Permission to Dance” are all English songs and you were in charge of the introduction for all three. It seems like you put some thought into how to create different impressions for each song. Jung Kook: “Butter’s” really bouncy, as you know. It’s a little deep, it’s got a driving beat, it’s rhythmical. And before I record, I listen to a recording with guide vocals, and then when I go to record, I have to keep all these characteristics in mind and mix them together with my own style properly in this subtle way. I think it’s seriously an intuition. (laughs) I had a hard time when we were recording, obviously, and when I first did it, my voice didn’t sound right, so I had to keep looking for the right voice. I think the most important thing is to really nail the voice you want to use first, and so is figuring out how to make it your own. In “Permission to Dance,” for instance, I sang it more the way I wanted than the style the guide vocals had.

How do you come to that kind of conclusion? Jung Kook: Everyone’s voice has to sound different, so it can be overpowering if I copy the guide too much when I sing. So sometimes I follow what I’m thinking of exclusively. I was thinking about how I should sing the first part of “Permission to Dance,” and when I went to record it, even Pdogg, the producer, told me, “It’ll work best if you go with your own voice, your own style.”

What effect does listening to so many other artists’ songs and analyzing them have on you? Jung Kook: The more I listen to music, the more my vocals change. It really changes a lot when we get a song and listen to it and practice it. I guess you could say my vocal cords are always readying themselves for improvement when I practice. (laughs) And improving while I record, and just improving any time I sing. But there’s also times when it suddenly doesn’t sound right when I try it the way I want, so I just give it a try, or I quickly look up other vocalists and listen to their songs or ask some of the older artists. Doing that helps me find a certain voice I’m looking for.

You sang uncannily similar to SUGA when you briefly sang his part in “Life Goes On” over V LIVE, even though your voices are different. You’re quick at picking up on the characteristics of others’ vocals. Jung Kook: I used to rely on that a lot. Like, I can hear [the characteristics in their voices] at least. (laughs) Now, though, it’s like, Oh, [I] guess I shouldn’t do it that way. You can safely assume I’ve heard a countless number of other singers’ songs. Then I would think a lot about how I want to sing, thinking how those other singers would sing, before making my own voice. I carry over those people’s voices and vocal patterns and think about how it would sound if they sang in this room, then I think about how it would sound in my own voice, and then sometimes I can make my voice sound similar if I try to.

It seems like it was important for you to find your own style for the performances as well. Not only were the three English songs different from your earlier work, but there were also a lot of parts in “Butter” that you could only perform through gestures and facial expressions. Jung Kook: Before “Butter,” I just worked really hard, and had fun doing it, in whatever way I wanted but starting with “Butter” I think I managed to do things in a more thought-out way. I was more attentive to my facial expressions and movements and thought through what I should do in each situation in each performance to do it in my own style. And it was kind of a fun process. I don’t feel any pressure about that; I just thought I can create that kind of image if I just try to be a little cool and not cringey (laugh) for people from now on.

What image do you want people to have of you, as an artist? One that says, This is who I am as an artist right now. Jung Kook: I don’t think I’m at the level where I need to worry about that yet. I have a general idea about what kind of singer I want to be and what I want to be really good at, but I don’t think I’ve ever imagined defining myself as a certain type of singer yet. Because it’s an ongoing process, when I can prove myself, then, bam!—I give proof and become a truly influential person, only then can I go around saying, This is the kind of singer I am. For now, I don’t have anything, I guess you could say, “substantial” to show off. I think, Even if I’m part of BTS and tour stadiums, does that automatically make me better than other artists? And then, by thinking so, I center myself again.

Couldn’t you be a little softer on yourself? Jung Kook: No. I have to think about the future many times throughout the day. For example, sometimes I spend a whole day doing whatever, but whenever I do, I regret it severely. So I promise myself that I’ll get this and that done. That’s how I live, because if I don’t think that way, I won’t jump into action to get anything done. It’s like the title of our song, “Life Goes On”: the treadmill just keeps on going, and we’re on it, so I always think, I’d better not ever stop. I can express myself better if I think while I talk, and I can organize my thoughts while reflecting back on what I said. I try to think about everything in that way. I think I need to improve, whether it’s at singing or my hobbies—more than now, better than now.

Are you doing particularly well with any of your hobbies these days? It seems like you got a little better at painting, judging by your vlog. Jung Kook: I think I’m getting better overall, little by little. My vocals are where I’ve definitely improved lately. And bowling! (laughs) I learn how to paint by watching videos on YouTube. I think I’m good at picking up skills by emulating others. I’m actually not good at learning things. (laughs) I just like to do what I like to do and I naturally learn from the people around me, I guess. And I think the things I really want to learn are still the same: singing, English, exercise.

Learning from other people and wanting to do better is a form of recognizing who you can compare yourself against. Are you at all influenced by the other members? You’ve talked a lot about how much you’ve been influenced by the six older members. Jung Kook: I think I started paying attention to people other than myself after I moved to Seoul and met the other members. I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings, but I do notice them now. It’s like I really started to see myself for who I am from that point on.

That makes me think of when you talked about seeing the sights in Seoul for the first time on tvN’s You Quiz on the Block, the way you got to know the feelings the outside world can give. Jung Kook: The first time I saw the streets of Seoul, they were enormous. I was really worried, since I’d just come to Seoul, and I got to know myself because of the change of environment. I think it was the very first time for me to think for myself, and it became the starting point for me to get to know myself.

When you took some candy you liked from the BTS pop-up store, j-hope said you were still the same from when you first met when you were 13 years old. Do you think you haven’t changed at all compared to back then? Jung Kook: In some way I must be better or different on the outside, but I’m sure there’s still things about me that are the same as when I was 13. I learned how to be considerate towards the other members and how to understand them because I fought with them occasionally, but nobody’s going to stop me if I take candy. I take it like I always did. Like when Hobi and I fought over a single banana. (laughs)

But what’s changed about you, then? Being a member of BTS must have had an effect on your view of the world. You sought understanding from your vegetarian viewers when you were eating meat in a salad on V LIVE before. Jung Kook: I thought to ask because I know that many people abroad, and in Korea, too, are vegetarians. It’s one of the things you learn when you tour around many different countries. Obviously I don’t know about every single country’s culture or personal identities or choices, so even though I have a long way to go, I think it’s important to respect them based on what I do know.

I think you must know that you’ve had an influence on a lot of people. Partway into your V LIVE, you talked about how you couldn’t find any of the kombucha you drank before anymore because it was all sold out and you thanked your fans for giving a little help to small business owners. Jung Kook: Restaurants aren’t doing well and there’s a lot of closed-up shops in the markets now, as you know. So if I’ve had an effect on even one person, it’s been worthwhile. And sometimes the people I’ve had an influence on go on to make donations, too. There could always be someone who takes advantage of the things I say or do, but I’m confident a lot of people will use them for good.

This influence is something you’ve crafted with your fandom, ARMY. I imagine you’ve been influenced not only by the other members but also by ARMY since you were young. Jung Kook: There’s a lot going on inside a concert venue: the lighting, the stage, the floor, the stage design, the video projected on the screen. Plus there’s the music, the dancing, and us. Even if they’re all in balance, ARMY has to be there to complete the scene. When it comes to our concerts, ARMY are the ones who bought the tickets and they’re the main characters. I think everything we focus on comes back down to ARMY. We share in each other’s feelings and they’re the source of our strength, and I think they have synergy with us. It’s not enough to just say ARMY and us like each other, or that we love each other. There’s definitely more to it than that. It’s, well—I don’t know. It’s hard to put into words. (laughs)

I think you need ARMY to be there at the concert for you to fully realize the concert you’re aiming for. Jung Kook: Yes, exactly! Even if everything’s set up and we’re in front of the camera, if ARMY’s not there, it’s a completely different concert. Even when ARMY’s there and there’s a live camera broadcasting it, I’m like, There’s a camera? Sure. Obviously I care about it when I have to say hello to ARMY sitting on the other side, in front of their screens. Other than that, I get all my energy from all the ARMY sitting right in front of me. That’s how much they mean to me. It’s completely different.

The concept for BTS 2021 MUSTER SOWOOJOO was similar to being in concert with an audience. It must’ve made you think of ARMY even more. Jung Kook: I’m seriously good as long as I can perform. I can put on more and more concerts in the space of a year if we’re touring. I felt it more profoundly this time since we couldn’t perform with an audience. Wow, I really took things for granted all this time. I should’ve done more.

You must be disappointed. It’s your time to shine as a vocalist and as a performer. Jung Kook: (sighs) I, well, I really need to hurry up and make a mixtape, first of all. (laughs)

How’s your mixtape going? Jung Kook: I was working on it just before I came. But it’s hard! (laughs) I could just make it about myself, and then it would be like, I started as a trainee when I was 13, I worked hard, and found success. But anyone could do that. So I keep thinking I want to make up my own original, complex story and write the songs from there. Billie Eilish’s debut album left a big mark on me when it came out, in that respect. And it’d be nice to have a cohesive flow to the tracklist, but even if it’s all jumbled up, that’s fine, too, as long the good songs keep on coming. That’s sort of what I’m thinking. So these days, rather than focusing on the album’s story as a whole, I’m just going to write whatever it is I want to say in each song. If I get that feeling right after listening to a track, I’ll try and make it. And I’m going to try to make it a little bit light-hearted.

It can’t be easy for you to concentrate on it if you’re making it here and there between all your other work. Jung Kook: It’s fine if it takes a really long time—it’s just hard to work on it in pieces. I mean, if I stay up late working away at it, it’s hard to get through the next day. (laughs) I stayed up all night again last night and slept between appointments today, but I’m still going to keep working like this today and then go work on my mixtape again anyway. I’ll do my best to release it as soon as possible. I want to write and record a lot of material.

s there anything about yourself, other than your work or concerts, that you want to show to ARMY as an individual? Jung Kook: I want to show them, that, umm … Just my real self, Jeon Jung Gook. That I’m fairly easy-going, very honest, and nothing special.

What kind of person do you think you are now? Jung Kook: I’m, I’m a, lazy … person. (laughs).

You’re being very hard on yourself. (laughs) How could you be lazy if you’re a part of BTS? Jung Kook: No, I really am lazy. (laughs) If I were alone I’d probably miss a lot of my appointments. (laughs) But I have to avoid making any mistakes when we function as a group. I’m really lazy, and—oh, I overthink things sometimes. I think more than people might expect, and I do things my way. Plus, even though I don’t care what other people think of me, I kind of still do. (laughs) I have no idea. I’m sort of goofy—? But I’m also trying to live a full life—I’m that kind of person. (laughs).

Thank you for the interview. Oh, by the way, I liked your “Butter” fan cam. Your moves were really agile. Jung Kook: Really? Do you think I’ve gotten better? (laughs).

#bangtan #jungkook #m:weverse magazine #210726

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screamingatanemptyroom · 3 years

Text

Please Fix the Story Pt 20 - Sci Fi

New part! I've felt more inspired lately, and am happy to share the next installment of the PFTS series.

Warning, a little bit of angst ahead.

Masterpost linked here.

Enjoy!

_____________________________

“That’s amazing!”

Pausing in my exercise with the Mech, I turned to look over at Liam who was standing off to the side of training room. He was watching me with bright eyes, a small container and a water bottle held tightly in his hands.

I stood in the training room holding a sword, practicing different strikes, while the Mech behind me held its own large sword, mimicking my movements through the Connection. The distance between us made it more difficult, but I felt the stuttering in its attacks slowly smooth out as I practiced.

I made an overhead swing, feeling the mild throbbing at my temples increase as the Mech made the same movement just a quarter second behind. Now, finished with the set of attacks I had set for myself, I sheathed the practice weapon and turned towards my enthusiastic audience.

“Hey, Liam!”

Severing the Connection with my Mech, I felt relief as the mental drain halted. Now free to move around, I walked towards him with a smile. “What brought you here?”

He grinned shyly. “I wanted to see you practice. Your control is amazing! I can’t believe you can Connect with your Mech from that distance. Also…” He hesitated, “You seem much more comfortable with a sword than you did with the pistols, no offense.”

“None taken. The sword IS much more comfortable.” I thought about the memory fragments of me refusing to give up using a sword. “I just think I might not be meant for ranged weapons.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re happy! Here you go.” He reached out, holding up a container of water for me to drink from.

“Thanks.”

“I also brought cake.”

I nearly choked in the midst of taking a drink. “Really? You didn’t have to. At this rate you’re going to spoil me.”

“Good.” Liam clutched the container to his chest, looking pleased. “You deserve it.”

“Whatever you say.” I shook my head, finished my drink and then paused. “…Can I ask you a question?”

His smile faded at my serious tone. “Go ahead.”

“Your mental barrier… if it’s up all the time, how are we standing so close together? Also, you’ve handed me things, and even touched me when you helped me up that one time, right?” I felt excited internally, but tried not to show it. “Does that mean I’m not affected by your barrier?”

“… I wish that were true.”

My heart sank with disappointment as Liam sighed, looking down at the ground. “With people I trust, the barrier shrinks. The more I trust them, the smaller the barrier is. My parents can stand close to me.” His eyes turned towards me again, and then back down. “You… you can get closer than anyone else.”

Liam reached out his hand, and following his lead I reached out as well until our palms touched. He studied our hands with a fascinated but sad expression.

“We are so close, it almost seems like we are touching. But there’s still a barrier.”

“So I’m not touching you?”

“No, not directly.” He looked like he wanted to cry. “I can’t feel it. It’s just the barrier.”

“… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m used to it.” Shrugging, he grabbed my hand and led me over to a nearby table and chairs. “Honestly, getting as close as this is already a miracle.”

I sat down on the chair, watching as he set up the cake on a plate with utensils. “So you really trust me, huh?”

The movement of his hands paused as he ducked his head, blushing. A mumbled “yes” made it to my ears. Chuckling, I didn’t push him any further. I sat and ate, enjoying the cake he had brought. We didn’t talk, but it was a comfortable silence.

I feel like I’ve known him forever, but I just met him recently.

Putting the odd thought aside, I finished the cake and stood up, brushing the crumbs from my uniform.

“Well, thank you for the delicious cake! But now, I'm afraid I have to get back to practice.”

Liam stood up as well, his expression concerned. “Really? Already? I thought the doctor in the infirmary told you to take it easy after the strain during the mock battles?”

“Just a few more practice swings, it will be fine.”

I don’t know how I’m going to save the world without a Connector. The best I can do is try to become as strong as possible, and hope my mind holds together long enough.

I took a stance near my Mech once more, drawing my practice sword. Glancing over at Liam, who still looked worried, I grinned. “Want to join me?”

“No, I’m terrible with a sword.” He slowly returned the smile, and sat down on the sidelines. “I’ll just watch you from here. Make sure not to overdo it.”

“I know. Just a little more practice.” I made the Connection, pleasantly surprised when my head didn’t ache right away. “Honestly, I think I’m tolerating the mental drain better.”

Liam didn’t seem reassured. “Be careful.”

_____________________________

“Be careful.”

I swung my sword in a quick practice swing, and laughed. “I’m always careful.”

“Says the woman who is going monster hunting.”

“You don’t have to come along.”

I was pulled into a warm embrace. “And let you face danger without me? Never.”

_____________________________

I blinked, mildly disoriented by the sudden memory. They had been coming more and more frequently, as if my mind was desperate to piece together who I had been before I arrived in this world.

“Alaira?”

“I’m fine…” I blinked again, but the forest in my memory didn’t fade away, but simply overlapped with the practice room around me.

Where am I?

“Alaira?”

I tried to look around, but everything was fading into darkness. “I’m…”

“ALAIRA!”

Liam’s panicked shout followed me into oblivion.

_____________________________

Well, at least I recognize this place.

I woke up in the infirmary, groaning as I held my pounding head.

“You’re an idiot.”

The stern voice of the doctor pulled my attention, and I looked up at the middle-aged woman who was glaring at me from a few feet away.

“Wow, your bedside manner is so warm and fuzzy.” I mumbled, rubbing my forehead.

“My bedside manner is saved for patients with a brain. You obviously lost yours somewhere, so you get tough love.” She waved a scanner over my head, frowning. “I told you to take it easy after you passed out during the mock battles!”

“I did! I haven’t done any fighting since that day.”

Her eyes narrowed. “What were you doing in the practice room, then?”

“Practicing with my sword?”

“WHILE Connected to your Mech from 20 feet away?? You didn’t think that might cause a bit of mental strain??!” She sighed, staring up at the ceiling hopelessly. “Lord, give me strength to deal with young, dumb students.”

The doctor sat down on a nearby chair, staring at me seriously. “You have to listen to me, Alaira. This is really important.”

“Okay.” I sat up in bed, folding my hands in my lap and trying to appear attentive. “I’m listening.”

“Your powers have grown. You were already S level when you underwent your health check at the beginning of your second year, but now… it’s at least multiplied by 10.” She shook her head. “We don’t even have a ranking for your power level. I don’t know what’s happened in the last month, it’s almost as if you’ve become a completely different person.”

I am a completely different person… at least I think I am. Is it because I’m in Alaira’s body now that her powers have changed?

I had no way to explain that to the doctor though. “So the power increase… that's a good thing, right?”

“It would be… if you had matched with a Connector.” She sighed. “With your current power level, your mental degradation rate has sped up exponentially.”

“…”

“The passing out is just one of the early signs, Alaira. Have you experienced anything else? Headaches…”

Yes.

“Irritability…”

I thought that was just my personality.

“Hallucinations… flashes of people or memories that aren’t real or never happened?”

“…”

I sat silently, stunned.

No… It can’t be. The memories in my head… the mission… Alaira’s memories of dying in a fight against the Hive… me waking up in a different world… could it all be just my mind breaking apart?

She watched my facial expression and silence with a frown. “So it’s even worse than I thought.” She brought up a holographic file and made a note.

“I…”

“No. No excuses, Alaira. You are temporarily suspended from duty until further notice. I can’t risk your safety any further.”

“But, I’m the strongest Guardian we have!” I was desperately grasping at straws. “You can’t sideline me! What if I found a Connector?”

The doctor shook her head. “I don’t even want you trying to match right now. It takes mental power, and could be the tipping point to full mental degradation.”

“But…”

“No. Alaira. You’re suspended. That’s final.”

WARNING! MISSION FAILURE IMMINENT!

TOTAL COMPLETION 5%

MISSION FAILURE WILL RESULT IN WORLD COLLAPSE AND DESTRUCTION OF THE SOUL. PLEASE COMPLETE THE MISSION.

The bright blue words appeared in front of my eyes. I glanced over at the doctor, who didn’t seem to notice them.

Is this real? Am I really here for a mission to save the world? Or is this just a product of my mental degradation?

“Do you understand, Alaira?”

WARNING!

“I do.”

She relaxed. “Good. Then return to your dorm and rest. I’ll notify your father to come pick you up.” She gathered her things and stood up, giving me a sympathetic smile. “I know it’s hard, but put being a Guardian, the Hive, all of it to the side right now. Just focus on your health.”

WARNING! MISSION FAILURE IMMINENT!

“I know.”

“And Alaira?”

WARNING!

“Yes?”

“Stay away from your Mech and the matching center, okay?”

“Of course.” I smiled. “I’ll just stay in my room.”

_____________________________

I snuck out of my room that same night.

I don’t know what’s real and what’s not… but I really don’t want to risk world collapse and soul destruction. Those both sound pretty bad.

As I crept through the hallways towards the Match center, I thought through possible plans to get me out of this situation.

First. Let's try matching again. If that doesn’t work… Maybe talk to Alaira’s father? See if there’s any research in slowing the progression of mental degradation?

I heard a security guard coming down the hallway. Panicking, I hid in the nearest classroom. The floor was ice cold even through the cloth of my uniform; my heartbeat was loud in my ears as I listened to the guard pass by on the other side of the door.

Either way, I can’t get caught just yet. I can’t risk missing what might be my last chance to match.

The guard had moved on. I waited a few moments just to be safe before opening the door and sneaking down the hallway once more. My mind was racing, circling around the disturbing idea that it was too afraid to touch:

The possibility that everything I thought was real was actually just my mind breaking down.

Am I really Alaira? Why does the man in my memories keep calling me Bel?

Who am I?

What is real?

It was agonizing, every moment of uncertainty. Questioning every memory, every conversation.

I pushed it from my mind, focusing on each step ahead of me. I needed to get to the Match Center.

If I can match a Connector, it will resolve my mental decay, and then I’ll know what's real.

I tried really hard not to think about what would happen if I still couldn’t find a Connector.

I quietly opened the door to the Match center.

“Match unable to be made.”

At the sound of the cold, robotic voice, I froze in place. For a wild moment I wondered if the match computer had sensed me walking in the building, and decided to reject me at the doorway just to save time. But reason set in and I recognized the figure hunched over the panel:

Liam.

“Unrecognized tester. Please let down your mental barrier to proceed with Match testing.” The voice echoed around the room, seeming to almost physically strike Liam as he slumped further in front of the glowing panel.

His hands tightened into fists as he pressed them harder against the machine. “I’m trying to let it down. Just run the test!”

“Please let down your mental barrier to proceed with Match testing.”

“Just let me test, dammit!”

“Please let down your mental barrier to proceed with Match testing.” Despite his franticness, the voice was cold and unchanged.

“PLEASE!” His fist struck the panel as he slumped to ground. “Let me try. Please…”

He was crying, and my chest hurt as I watched. “Please… let me match her.”

“… Match unable to me made.”

“Liam.” I whispered his name, feeling as if my heart was tearing in half.

“Please.” He sobbed into his hands. "I can't... I can't put it down... I just want to help her... please!"

_____________________________

“Please. Let her go. I’ll do anything.” His voice was shaking with fear, his wide eyes staring at me as I was trapped in place, unable to move.

“Just give up. This is her fate.”

“Let her go!” He reached forward desperately, unable to reach me. “BEL!”

_____________________________

“Liam.” I was crying, unable to control it.

These memories can’t just be hallucinations. They are too real. I looked over at Liam who was striking his fist over and over against the panel, ignoring the blood staining the surface as his skin tore under the repeated blows.

He’s just hurting himself. It was painful to watch. I have to stop him.

I started to walk forward, my hand reaching out…

“Liam…”

Before I could call out, I felt a sharp prick on my arm. I tried to turn to around and look, but soon a burning sensation was building deep in my muscle and my mind went blank.

“Liam…” I tried to call him once last time, as the drug injected into my arm forced me into unconsciousness.

_____________________________

Okay this whole passing out thing has gotten really old.

My mind grumbled as I slowly regained consciousness. I blinked, trying to clear the blurriness in my vision. Did a security guard find me? If so, their curfew enforcement is pretty insane if they are knocking out students.

The room around me slowly came into focus.

Wait… this isn’t the infirmary.

It was a pale grey dorm room.

This isn’t’ my room either. Feeling uneasy, I looked around, barely able to move. My limbs felt as if they were filled with lead, my head foggy.

The dorm room was clean, with barely any personal items on the desk and dresser. On the wall was several posters of famous Guardians, a calendar was pinned nearby with a vigorous Mech training schedule.

I have a bad feeling about this…

“Alaira, you’re awake!” A voice called out from the doorway, sounding pleasantly surprised.

I turned my head with great difficulty, my eyes widening at the sight. “…Chris?”

“I’m so glad you’re okay!” He smiled at me, grabbing the chair from the desk and dragging it to the bedside before sitting down. “When you asked me not to take you to the infirmary, I was worried I was doing the wrong thing.”

He seems… different.

“…” I wanted to shake my head, but felt to weak. “No… I was in the Matching Center…”

He frowned at my words, looking confused. “Matching Center? We ran into each other in the hallway. You were on the verge of passing out, and asked me to take you back to your room. “ Pausing, he shrugged embarrassedly. “Then you fainted. I don’t have access to the female dorms, so I brought you to my room instead. I hope you don’t mind.”

“…Liam.” It was difficult to talk. “Where’s Liam?”

“Liam? Do you mean Prince William?” Chris seemed even more confused. “He took leave and returned home after you passed out during your training.”

“But…”

“I think he felt a little guilty at not being able to help you match. Not that it’s his fault he can’t form the Connection.”

“I saw him.” I tried to focus my thoughts, but they kept scattering. “I saw him in the Match Room.”

Chris leaned forward, reaching for my hand. I pulled away, but was too weak to break his grip. “Alaira. You’re undergoing mental degradation. The doctor in the infirmary said you were already in the late stages. It’s common to have hallucinations, memories of interactions with people and conversations that never happened.”

I blinked. Could I have imagined the whole thing? Did I want to think that Liam was in the Match Room trying to save me, instead of running away without telling me?

How far gone was I? What was real, and what was just my mind degrading?

Something’s not right.I remembered the needle prick in my arm, and brought my free hand to the spot in confusion.

“What are you rubbing your arm for?”

“I… was stuck with a needle…”

He shook his head. “That didn’t happen. You hit your arm on the wall when you passed out, so it might be a little sore, but that’s it. There was no needle. Your brain just came up with a reason to explain the pain.”

“…”

“It’s okay, Alaira. It’s okay.” Chris squeezed my hand. “It’s normal to be confused, and a little paranoid. Your brain is breaking under the strain of the Connection to your Mech. We’ll help you. You’re going to be okay.”

WARNING! MISSION FAILURE IMMINENT!

TOTAL COMPLETION 3%

MISSION FAILURE WILL RESULT IN WORLD COLLAPSE AND DESTRUCTION OF THE SOUL. PLEASE COMPLETE THE MISSION.

“Alaira? Do you hear me?” Chris called out, concerned.

“I’m… not going to give up. I have to face the Hive. Save… the world.” My thoughts were still jumbled. I wasn’t sure if it was from the drug or mental degradation. What was real and what was fake was blurring.

“You’re not going to be suspended. You’re going to be the most powerful Guardian the world has ever seen, and you’re going to save humanity.”

I looked over at Chris, feeling confused. He wore a pleasant smile on his face, his posture relaxed, but his grip on my hand was just a little too tight, and his eyes…

… His eyes were different. The color, the shape, was the same… but the way he looked at me had changed.

“Who are you?” I asked quietly, forcing the words out through slightly numb lips.

He looked shocked. “What do you mean? It’s me, Chris. We’ve known each other since the first Mock battle in school.” He chuckled. “You kicked my butt, remember?”

“Now I know you aren’t Chris. You haven’t yelled at me that 'you’re going to follow your dream and I can’t stop it' this whole conversation. You’re not Chris. “

He laughed, a light, easy sound. “You’re right, I’ve changed. But I’m still Chris, I promise.” He reached out and patted the back of my hand, still grasped tightly in his own. “You see, I came to a realization: I was jealous of you.”

“…”

“I know, right? Self-insight from me seems like a foreign concept. But from the first day I was in awe of your skills, jealous of your level S abilities.” He sighed, leaning back, still holding my hand, ignoring my attempts to free it. “My only consolation was that you were a loner, that you couldn’t find a Match. It was the one thing that I beat you in.”

“You…”

“I kept trying to brag in front of you, hoping that you would recognize me. Hoping that you would tell me that I was the real deal, that I was a true Guardian. But that doesn’t excuse how poorly I treated you. How my friends treated you.” His regretful gaze held my own. I felt trapped in it. “I’m sorry. I will do better going forward.”

“…” My head was starting to clear, but it was a slow process.

“Seeing you pass out after our fight… seeing you in the infirmary today… in the hallway just now… I can’t ignore this.” He sighed. “You’re breaking down, right in front of me. And I can’t let this happen… not when I can stop it.”

He got off of the chair kneeling next to the bed. He reached out with his other hand, holding mine between both of his palms.

“Alaira… you’ve already have a high resonance match with me. I can save your mind, and help you save the world. It’s such an easy solution.” He smiled at me, without any sign of reluctance at all.

I felt a silent scream of terror and rage build up in my chest. I wanted to reach out and stop him, to silence his next sentence. Despite my wishes, however, his words came out all too clearly:

“I’ll be your Connector.”

#writing #please fix the story #sci fi #lost memories #confusion #a little angst #next part will be nicer #i promise #the story continues #this part was a little shorter #but i think getting out more shorter parts might work better with my current time constraints and inspiration #we'll see

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resignedseraph · 2 years

Text

Okay so this isn’t really related to the topic of this sideblog but I’m putting it here since it’s a bit more serious and related to mental health, and partially ties into upbringing stuff.

So, I’m researching Nonverbal Learning Disorder (which is a learning disorder revolving around the nonverbal parts of learning, functioning, and interaction), since the guy who did my autism assessment said that I might have that and not autism. I don’t think this is the case, but I want to know what I’m talking about if I want to challenge that. Namely, the differences between the two.

Feel free to reblog this, but this is literally just… what I’ve researched recently, I’m just some person trying to figure stuff out, I don’t guarantee that my understanding of NLD is accurate.

So far, I’ve noticed that the main differences are:

repetitive and restricted behaviors (ASD) (stimming to regulate emotions and self soothe, adhesion to routine, special interests, etc)

spatial visual awareness and differentiation (NLD) (telling whether two objects are the same size, drawing what they see literally, interpretation of facial expressions, etc)

fine motor skills (NLD) (being able to do delicate detailed work, awareness of relative position in space, etc. This is an example of spatial awareness differences)

Organizing and evaluating abstract information (NLD) (so, may have trouble with picking up in patterns with math, organizing essays or taking notes, etc)

Sensory processing issues (ASD) (interpreting certain sensory input to a heightened extent, being distressed by innocuous input, etc)

These are probably organized inaccurately since it was hard to piece together information from different examples and sources that didn’t use a consistent organizational system, so feel free to correct me on wording or interpretation.

The reason I’m sticking with autism as the explanation and not nonverbal learning disorder is because of the following (I’m going to address each bullet with my own lifelong experiences, either as backup or conflicting evidence):

NLD does not feature stimming as a regulating and self soothing behavior, at least not more than allistics. However, I’ve stimmed my entire life, and once I learned to unmask and just do what’s natural, I stim in lots of ways to do exactly that. I also adhere to loose routines, and smaller “routine checkpoints” (like making tea or wearing certain jewelry), and I’ve been highly focused on science, history, and art my whole life.

I’m an artist, and I took an entire course where a main part was practicing drawing what you see literally. I’m actually pretty good at this, and I’m able to draw 3D things from different perspectives, without references, without much issue. I also struggle with facial expressions because meanings are indistinct, it’s not what I actually see that’s the issue

While I sometimes bump into things, learning doing detailed work comes easy (I’ve had very neat handwriting since I was little, I sew without looking pretty easily, I used to do swim and being aware of where you were relative to the wall was very necessary, and that came naturally too)

I’m actually not that bad at math if it’s not on a massive learning curve, and I basically relied on spotting patterns in numbers and formulas to get through math in high school. I also do shit like this for fun, making notes, writing down information in ordered units, organizing ideas to make essays, stuff like that. I don’t struggle with that, and never really have more than my peers.

Short answer for sensory processing issues: there’s a good reason I don’t go to arcades or concerts. I get sensory overload at least monthly, certain senses are heightened for me (particularly hearing), certain input squicks me out, I could give examples for a long while.

Like… come on. I really don’t think NLD is the answer here, there may be overlap, but the things that come with NLD and not ASD are just not present in me, and the thing that only present in ASD and not NLD very much are. Right now I’m just trying to find someone else who will go over his evaluation, because that ain’t it

#Esrah talks #actuallyautistic #this is mostly posted for me tbch but I wanted to get my words out and thoughts organized in a way I can reference

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wordsnwhiskey · 3 years

Text

As It Should Be Verse: Hold Onto The Sunset Drabble/Oneshot

A/N: This is my go at Writer Wednesday, hosted by the amazing @autumnleaves1991-blog . I've got this set in the future of the As It Should Be verse. I figured since Chapter 3: Statesmen & Demons left off on a bit of a sad note I'd give you guys some fluff to tide you over until Ch 4!

It's 03:30 here and this is unedited so I might come back and see if something is egregiously wrong but otherwise this is going to stand.

Warnings: None? Aside from a polyam MMF relationship that's all fluff (with PDA) here!

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x F!Reader x Frankie Morales [AO3]

The sand was warm beneath your toes as you shifted in your decidedly uneven folding chair. A few crushed beer cans littered the table but you were all too enthralled in your game of Hold ‘Em to care. The smell of charcoal and grilled food floats teasingly in the air. Santiago had abandoned your game to go and start grilling otherwise we won’t eat until the sun’s long gone. Yeah, that was it. It had nothing to do with the fact that he had handedly lost his last hand and consequently the rest of his money, to Frankie.

It was Jack’s turn to deal and you watch his large hands palm and manipulate the well-worn deck. The whirring sound of the cards folding together followed by the sharp tap against the table as he shuffled was calming and sounded as natural as the ocean waves licking at the beach did. You paused a moment before looking at your cards to try to gauge everyone else's reactions only to find three pairs of brown eyes and one pair of green eyes staring back at you. Laughter rang out across the table, that’s just what happens when you play poker with Statesmen agents and Delta Force vets. Schooling your facial expressions, you peel back the corners of your cards to see your hand: a Jack and 10 of spades.

“Call.” Came Tequila’s cheery drawl.

“Fold.” Ginger sighed and tossed her cards back to the center of the glass table.

“I’m getting another beer from the cooler. Does anyone else want one?”

Her question was met with chorus of ‘pleases’ and ‘thank yous’. She smiled then rolled her eyes and went about collecting the cold, wet cans from the cooler.

“Call.” Continues Jack with his trademark smirk.

“Call.” Frankie’s voice is a bit rough from having just downed the remainder of his beer.

You called wordlessly, your chips following the others’ as they clinked on the glass table top, then Jack dealt the flop: 9 of hearts, 8 of spades and Ace of diamonds.

Jack’s gaze was on you, gauging your reaction and wondering if you had an Ace to match the one on the table. The betting went around, Jack raised, a classic aggressive opening move from him, but you were all somewhat surprised when Frankie re-raised him. All eyes narrowed at Frankie. The man had a scary good poker face, keeping the tension out of his jaw and meeting everyone’s gaze with those brown puppy eyes of his. It was how he had trounced Santi earlier.

Ginger came back with your beers and set them down on the table before taking back her seat, watching in amusement. You called and Jack dealt the turn card: a Queen of spades.

“You waitin’ on a Jack there darlin’?”

Jack challenged and raised, his voice was rough honey as he tried to get a rise out of you.

You let a laugh spill from your lips and your own mischievous smirk lights a spark in your eye.

“Oh no, I’ve already got a Jack and you’re more than enough. I don’t think I could handle another.”

Frankie’s neutral face breaks into a wide grin and Jack’s mind starts spinning, trying to assess all of the possible meanings behind what you just said. The three of you call and Jack throws down the river: a 7 of spades. What were the fucking odds?

Tequila frowned then checked, Jack raised, Frankie called and you re-raised. A collection of groans were uttered across the table but they all ponied up anyways.

“Straight Flush. Pay up boys!”

You don’t even bother to hide the smugness in your voice. Tequila huffed and cracked his beer open.

“Santiago! Is the food done yet? I thought you said we’d be eating before the sun went down?”

He was exaggerating of course, it wasn’t nearly that late and the summer sun was slow to set over the water. Tequila got up to go and lick his wounds with Santiago around the grill. You got up as well, walking around and pressing a kiss to Frankie’s lips before Jack unceremoniously tugged you into his lap for a kiss as well and smiled.

“C’mere, darlin’ I want one too.”

His smile is good natured, your boys were rarely ever jealous of each other. Something cold and wet makes you jump, your eyes darting to the offending object only to see Frankie’s wide grin and mischievous eyes as he holds your cold beer to your arm. You playfully smack Frankie’s arm then take your beer with a thank you. You’re pleasantly surprised when Frankie lifts your legs to rest in his lap, his fingers grazing over them as he sips his own beer.

Frankie deals the next hand and you can’t help but giggle at how ridiculous it is being in Jack’s lap and trying to keep your cards from each other. Ginger wipes the floor with all of you that hand.

Hooting and hollering, draws your group’s attention across the beach and you see Benny and Will ambling across the sand, each with a six pack in their hands. Benny practically tackles Santiago as he brings him in for a hug.

“Hey! Watch it Benny, I’m grilling here!”

Will shakes his head and pulls Santi in for a decidedly calmer hug and Benny is already waltzing over to the table where you, Frankie, Whiskey, Ginger and Tequila are. Frankie lets your feet down and stands to give Benny a hug.

“Fish! Good to see ya man!”

“Good to see you too, Benny.”

You’re out of Jack’s lap, to his slight dismay, and hugging Benny, it had been years since you had last seen the lovable younger Miller brother.

“Benny, this is Whiskey, Ginger and Tequila, we all work together.”

Benny didn’t even bat an eye and just greeted everyone with a large smile.

“Whiskey, Ginger and Tequila! Well, don’t you all sound like fun!”

Laughter rang out amongst everyone and Santiago called out that the food was done.

“Why don’t you stay here, honey. Benny and I will get plates for you and Whiskey.”

Frankie wasn’t really asking a question and it wasn’t much of a choice since you found yourself once again back in Jack’s lap, his mustache tickling your skin as his lips pressed to your cheek then temple.

Benny clapped Frankie on the back as they walked over to where Santiago had set out their food.

“So you and Hawk and… ?”

“Yeah, and Whiskey, the three of us, together.”

Benny eyed Frankie for a moment, more out of concern than any judgement.

“Well right on, Fish. It’s good to see you happy. About time with Hawk too, huh?”

Frankie fought and lost against his blush, playfully shoving Benny. They brought their plates back to where you and Whiskey were sitting. Frankie put Whiskey’s plate down, inched his chair closer then sat down. Benny handed you your plate with a flourish.

“Here you go, baby.”

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head and smiling at him even as Jack’s grip on your hip tightened slightly.

“Thanks, Benny.”

He left the three of you then and went to mingle with Ginger and Tequila.

The three of you ate in easy silence. Your feet were draped across Frankie’s lap, your back cradled by Jack’s arm and head resting on his shoulder. Frankie’s fingers alternated between tracing patterns over your skin and resting on Jack’s free hand.

Laughter played off of the sand and air around you, mixing with the sound of the waves. A light, content smile played across your lips as you watched your friends together. It was getting darker now and the sky was painted varying shades of pink, purple, and orange.

“Wow.”

The word slipped from your mouth in awe. Frankie and Jack hummed their agreement in unison and you swear sometimes they were on the same wavelength. You let out a long sigh then take a sip of your beer and settle in further against Jack.

“Whatcha thinking, honey?”

Frankie’s voice is just above a whisper, as if talking any louder would break the spell of perfection that had settled around your group and mother nature.

“I wish I could just hold onto this moment, hold onto this sunset. I’m with the loves of my life, for the first time my family is all together, they’re all having fun and I can’t think of a place I’d rather be than right here watching this sunset.”

Jack held you tighter and kissed your shoulder while Frankie brought your knuckles to his lips.

“We love you too, honey. Couldn’t imagine being anywhere else either.”

Frankie murmurs against your skin and you feel Jack’s hum through his chest. You take in the sight before you, memorizing it so you can paint the canvas in your mind and hold this moment with you, your own slice of heaven. Breathing in, you hold onto the remnants of charcoal from the grill and the salt from the ocean. You hold onto the feeling of the warmth radiating from the last rays of the fading light. It gives way to the heat emanating from Jack and Frankie, which envelops not just your body but your soul as well. You let out a sigh as Frankie leans in closer to you and Jack.

You were going to hold onto this sunset for the rest of your days.

Thanks for reading y'all!

Taglist: @danniburgh @pascalslittlebrat @yespolkadotkitty @mothandpidgeon @mouthymandalorianalso @phoenixhalliwell @itsme-aj467 @kesskirata @rosiefridayrogersunday-reads @driedgreentomatoes @pintsizemama @neganwifey25-blog @wheresarizona @absurdthirst @sarahjkl82-blog @duchesschameleon @sherala007 @beautyagegoodnesssize @all-hallows-evie @a-bang-for-your-bucky

#As It Should Be #writer wednesday #agent whiskey #agent whiskey x f!reader #agent whiskey x reader #Frankie Morales #Frankie Morales x f!reader #Frankie Morales x reader #Agent Whiskey x f!reader x Frankie Morales

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broadstflyers · 3 years

Text

A/N: Alright, here it is! Chapter two. Thanks for the support on the first chapter! As always, you can add yourself to the tag list for this series or give constructive feedback here. This chapter is still in the past tense. This one is a longer chapter, sorry! Although I have a feeling most chapters will be this long. If you like this series and want to read more, give it a like or reblog or pop into my asks, it encourages me to continue. any feedback is appreciated :)

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: None

Summary: They say at fourteen you’re too young to know you’re in love. But what if you aren’t?

Navigation: chapter one

October

Grade: 9

Age: 14

---------------------------------

Ever since that class, you and Joel became inseparable whenever you were within talking distance. You just seemed to gravitate towards him, and he seemed to do just the same. When you needed a pep-talk before a big test, he was there. Whenever you needed a laugh, he was there. He seemed to just always be there. He even noticed when your hands started to slightly shake before a quiz or test. How would he respond? He’d do what any nice, respectful, and caring teenage boy would do: goof off. The way he did so was completely up to how rambunctious he was feeling that day.

Would he throw crumpled up paper at his friends and just smile as the teacher yelled at him?

Or try and balance the close by meter-stick on his head (that was soon taken away after)?

Or would he possibly take a different turn and re-explain a topic you were still shaky on?

He was just unpredictable in that sense.

Now how were you feeling about this newly kind Joel?

“Your face is the reddest I think I’ve ever seen it,” Luna teased while you both walked out of the classroom after the bell rang, “and if I held up my bright red backpack to it, I don’t know which one would be redder.” She was on a roll that day.

You scratched your eyebrow in a lame attempt to hide your glowing cheeks. See, on that day, Joel decided to calm your nerves by drawing a star on your hand. Yes, your hand. It went sort of like this:

Your right hand was resting on the table so the back of your hand was facing Joel, who was also on your right. He was messing around with an orange marker, threatening to draw it on his friend just a table over.

“Draw one on y/n,” the friend slyly suggested with a devilish smirk. Joel’s eyes widened to the size of hockey pucks and he whipped his head around to look at you. He glanced down at the marker and then regained his cool facial expression.

Meanwhile your blood ran cold and your head started to pound uncontrollably. You glance at Luna and she nods vigorously. You ball your hand into a fist and shakily stick it out, the adrenaline causing your hearing to slightly go. He offers a light smile, and you swear you can see him slightly exhale from relief. He positions the marker in his hand to get a good grip on it, because if he was going to draw on your hand, it had to be perfect.

He rested his hand under yours to hold it steady. Yes, his hand. He cleanly knocked the breath out of your lungs. You could feel the warmth radiate from his hand. He carefully and neatly (well as neat as a fourteen year old boy can) draws an orange star on the center of your balled up fist.

When his hand finally let go of yours, the touch felt too brief but also like forever.

You literally wanted to jump out of your skin. A mix of different colors felt as though they were swirling around your head in an intense blur. You wanted to throw up color and those sickeningly sweet feelings.

At this point, unlike the first time you guys were civil to each other, you surpassed the point of being screwed.

No. As soon as he touched your hand, you knew one thing for certain: you were in love with Joel Farabee.

“Now that’s one perfect good luck charm,” he says with a smirk.

Man, you just wanted to kiss that stupid smirk. That stupid yet adorable smirk….

And that’s how you ended up almost falling over in the hallway with Luna. In the hallway, she takes your hand and looks at the perfectly messy star.

“You’ve got that boy head over heels for you,” she sassed and laughed.

You playfully shoved her, but your heart skipped a beat.

You couldn’t help but wonder, did you really?

---------------------------------

“LOVE?” Luna practically yelled in your room. Your parents let you guys hang out after school that very same day because it was yet another Friday. Which is how you ended up with Luna screaming at you on your bedroom floor.

“SHHHHH,” you aggressively said as you tried to calm her down. You pointed downstairs to your parents. You had told them earlier that Luna drew the star on, not Joel. They didn’t even know Joel existed.

“Sorry,” she whispered, “but LOVE? You’re in love with him? Are you sure? Aren’t we too young for that? At least, that’s what my mom says.”

You sigh deeply. “Look, I know, Luna. But there’s just something so different about him. Something I can’t explain.”

“Okay, but you also haven’t liked more than two people,” Luna counters, “and we’re fourteen.”

“But have you looked into someone’s eyes before and felt safe? Have you wanted to cling onto them and never let go? You’ve got to listen to me, these feelings are so intense that I want to throw them up in a glittery mess. He runs in circles around my mind 24/7. I wonder how his hugs feel, I wonder how I would act if I met his parents.” You pause for a moment and stare her in the eyes.

“I barely understand how I feel, myself,” you whisper. “I am so screwed, Luna, but I don’t care.”

Her face relaxes and she slowly nods her head. She breaks out into a smile.

“I hear you,” she calmly states as she takes one of your hands. “I will be here with you while we figure this out, okay?”

“Okay,” you nod in a soft whisper tone.

Maybe it was the cumulation of him constantly caring for you in his own way. Maybe it was the way he never made dumb jokes at the expense of your feelings. Maybe it was the way talking to him came so easily and naturally to you, like you’ve known him for lifetimes. Or maybe it was just the fact that you were young, like Luna said.

But you knew deep down you couldn’t wholeheartedly buy into that logic.

Because in the end, you knew you were right.

---------------------------------

You turned fifteen on November 25, so you’re always exactly three months older than Joel, which he definitely did not appreciate. He found out when the teacher wished you a premature Happy Birthday the day before Thanksgiving Break.

“I cannot believe you,” he said in a mockingly defensive manner.

“Joel, I can’t exactly control when I was born you know,” you jokingly shot back. The playful banter was your favorite part of the day. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t look forward to it now.

“Well, how am I supposed to wish you a happy birthday when we won’t be in class?” He dramatically pouted.

I could give you my number, you thought. You’d never actually say that, though.

Suddenly, he turned and snatched a random piece of paper from one of his friends, and judging by the sharp “Hey!” that came out of the friend’s mouth, it probably was of some sort of importance. He grabbed your pencil and borderline slammed them down in front of you.

“Here, write down your number and all of our problems will be solved.”

Did he just? Did what you think just...happen? Fourteen year old you was absolutely dumbfounded.

“Sure,” you said as nonchalantly as possible, when in reality you were about to black out.

You scribbled down your number and handed it to him.

He opened his mouth to say something, but the bell rang, and you both scrambled for your things in the midst of chaos.

“I will be looking forward to that birthday wish,” you called out as he headed for the door. At first, you didn’t think he heard you, but at the last moment, he turned around and winked before stepping out the door.

You would have melted onto the floor if it wasn’t for Luna squealing in your ear like it was a holiday morning.

November 25 couldn’t come soon enough. Yes, you were excited to turn fifteen, but now you had another reason.

The question was, was that a good thing?

---------------------------------

November 25

Age: 15

Grade: 9

You woke up on your birthday morning with adrenaline coursing through your veins. After a fun Thanksgiving with family the day before, you were excited to finally celebrate your birthday with just your mom and dad, like you always did.

You’d be lying if you said the first thing you checked was not your phone. But, It was the first thing you reached for on your nightstand. Not your glasses, like normal.

You quickly scrolled through your notifications looking for an unknown number. There’s a text from your aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa, cousins. Your heart sank when you reached the end. Nothing from him.

You placed your phone down and shook your head to clear out the negative energy that engulfed your body.

It was your birthday, you weren’t going to let anyone ruin this day for you. Even him.

---------------------------------

It was after dinner, which was your absolute favorite meal. You had gone to the mall with your mom and dad for some birthday shopping, a tradition you were very grateful for.

On the way home, you were happily thinking about the new outfits you were gifted, until your phone buzzed. Your heart quickened.

Luna!!: did he text you yet?

You exhaled sharply.

You: no, he hasnt :(

Thanks for the reminder, Luna.

Luna!!: bummer. i’m sure he will soon.

Luna!!: he’d be an idiot not to, don’t worry, love!

You mindlessly stared out the window of the back seat, hoping the blur of the trees would take your mind off of him.

You could sense your dad glancing at you using the rearview mirror.

You turned to look at him. “What?”

“Everything okay?” He asked.

You plaster a huge smile on your face and say yes, of course, because your parents have done so much for you that day that you should have been fluttering from happiness. You mean, you were happy. You couldn’t have been more thankful. Your heart just yearned for him to fulfill his promise.

Because you didn’t know what school was going to be like if he didn’t, and you weren’t ready to face that reality.

---------------------------------

That night, you brushed your teeth and got ready for bed. Your heart felt heavier each time you checked your phone and “No Older Notifications” was displayed instead of seeing the one you longed for. You glanced at your clock on your nightstand. The bright red numbers glared at you. It was close to 11:00.

You sighed and spun your phone around in your hands as you thought. Call it delusion, but you refused to put your phone down. You knew he was going to follow through.

Did you know why you knew? Not a clue.

Without warning, your phone vibrated in your hands. You couldn’t have flipped it upright faster if you tried.

Maybe: Joel

Maybe WHO?

Maybe: Joel: Happy birthday math partner 🥳

Maybe: Joel: This is Joel by the way, that’s probably important to add

Maybe: Joel: Although you do only have one amazing math partner

You really thought you died there for a second. They were, like, a handful of words (excluding the Joel part) but they were enough to make you hug your pillow from overload.

You spastically texted Luna.

You: JESFEUN You: HE IFHUHF You: HE TEXTED ME LUNA

She must have been waiting for this text all day, just like you. She responded right away.

Luna!!: YAYAYA WHAT DID HE SAY?

You: Happy birthday math partner with the 🥳 emoji and he forgot to say his name until the second text lmaooo

Luna!!: aww thats so cute! he sounds like he has an empty head but you go hon!!

Luna!!: now text him back idiot before you forget or he goes to bed

You: yep one sec

Your thumbs circled aimlessly around the keyboard. You wanted to say so many things. You settled on this:

You: thanks, math partner :)

You hit send on that, hesitated for a moment, then typed:

You: and yes you’re a pretty great one

You took a deep breath and pressed send. You changed his contact to “Math Partner”

You wanted to throw up, but in a good way? You sighed into your pillow. Almost as quick as you sent it, you felt another buzz.

Your hand shot out to grab your phone.

Math Partner: Hey, anytime you need a star, I’m here

You glanced down at your hand, where the orange star was just a few short days ago. It was gone. You wished it didn’t fade.

You: the orange one has already faded :(

Math Partner: Well, to make up for the late birthday wish, I can give you another one once we go back to school since we have another big test

You nodded vigorously, as if he could see that through the screen.

You: maybe in red this time? it’s my favorite color

Math Partner: Whatever you want, birthday girl

What a simp, you thought. Also, you were surprised you still had a pulse at that point. Birthday girl?

Math Partner: I have to go now, I have hockey super early tomorrow. Goodnight 😁

“Hockey?” you whispered to yourself.

You: yay, thanks :) and goodnight!!

He plays hockey? you thought. Shouldn’t you have known that?

You frantically Facetimed Luna and whisper-yelled every word you two exchanged. Luna beamed with so much happiness that you could have sworn she was getting the guy.

“This is literally the best thing EVER,” she quietly exclaimed.

You just laughed a giddy yet nervous laugh. You still had no clue what was happening, but you were ready to embrace it.

---------------------------------

January 25

Age: 15

Grade: 9

When the teacher switched around the seating charts during the year, she mostly kept you and Joel within talking distance each time. If that thing about teachers sensing when kids like each other was thought to be true, she definitely proved it to be so.

Thankfully, she kept this trend going when she switched the seats around on Joel’s birthday. She moved you guys back next to each other for the next quarter. Before, she briefly separated you guys for about two weeks (when Joel wouldn’t stop yelling to his other friend who was near him). During that time apart, you both were noticeably droopier and mopier than normal. He still joked with his friends, but you only heard his loud laugh a handful of times instead of….too many.

As for you, some kid you’ve never even talked to asked you if you were okay. The answer was of course no, but you couldn’t say that.

So when the brown haired boy sat down next to you for the first time in two weeks, it felt like the day he drew the star on your hand all over again. You wanted to reach out and hug him so he’d never leave you, much less say something, anything, but you just couldn’t still. Thankfully, he did the talking for you.

“Miss me?” he joked with his trademark smile.

“Very much so,” you said with a balance of sarcasm and lightheartedness. “Happy birthday, by the way.” You lightly shoved him, not entirely knowing where the guts to do that came from.

“Thank you, thank you. Did you get me anything?” he teased. He lightly shoved you back.

Your heart beated frantically. Your impulsivity urged you to do something you never would have a few months ago.

“Actually…” you paused for a moment. He raised his eyebrows. You reached for an orange marker and uncapped it with a pop.

“May I?”

He could hardly believe it.

“Do what?”

You playfully rolled your eyes. “Draw a star, dummy.”

“Ohhhhh,” he said as he connected the dots. He stuck out his clenched fist as he fought back a huge grin.

You couldn’t believe you were actually doing that.

You tucked your hand under his to keep it steady, just like he did with your hand a few months back. You took your time making sure each corner was connected precisely. You also didn’t want to let go of his hand, like, ever.

You finished way too soon for both your likings. You pulled away and closed the cap.

“Happy birthday, Math Partner.”

“Thanks,” he said. He had his eyes glued on the star you just drew. He didn’t even try to fight the grin that was creeping on his face.

Now you were the cause of his smile. Warmth flowed through your body. You just wanted to keep him that happy forever.

---------------------------------

That night, Luna called you on Facetime because apparently talking about those events in the hallway afterschool wasn’t enough.

“What’s up?” you calmly asked, as if you didn’t know why she was calling.

“What’s up? What do you mean what’s up? I mean, first you lightly shoved him. Yes, I saw that. But then you draw a star on him? I don’t know where this confident you came from, but I am living for it. I am so proud of you,” she sincerely said through a smile.

“Aw thank you, I appreciate it. Yeah, I don’t know either, honestly. He just brings out this good side of me now.”

“I can see that, and I love it. So...” She dragged out the “so,” and that was never a good sign.

“So?” you asked.

“What are you going to do about it?”

“About what?” You played dumb as best you could.

She didn’t buy it. “Oh come on, y/n. You know you love him, why don’t you tell him?”

You shuttered at that idea. By doing that, you risked losing what you’ve created so far. You were texting him roughly once or twice a week at that point about random stuff and talking to him in class every chance you got. Losing that was just something you were not prepared to face. And you told Luna that.

She (mostly) understood.

“I respect that,” she said. “But if you guys don’t hang out in the summer and keep this going, I will kill him.”

You snorted. “Me too, honestly.”

Could you guys keep this going for that long?

Only time would tell, you told yourself.

---------------------------------

April

Grade: 9

Age: 15

Every time you saw Joel, you came home with a pep in your step. It was like clockwork. You would bounce into the house with a grandiose “Hello Mother” and hum a song stuck in your head. Today it was “Love Story” by Taylor Swift.

“How was your day?” your mom asked with a hint of suspicion. After months of letting your intriguing happiness spell go, it was too obvious for her to ignore.

“Good,” you said. You didn’t really want to tell her much about Joel because you knew she wouldn’t believe you if you told her how you really felt about him. Those strong feelings didn’t waiver once over the last few months. Okay, maybe once on the day that he accidentally spilled water on your homework. But you couldn’t stay mad at him after he willingly placed his own homework in the same water.

“You’re very happy today. Anything happen in particular?” She prodded.

“Nope,” you pop the letter “p”.

“Who’s the boy?”

You froze. “Boy?”

“There has to be, you haven’t been this happy to go to school pretty much ever.”

You sighed. It was your mom after all. Maybe she would believe you if you told her.

“His name’s Joel, he’s in my Algebra class,” you mumbled.

“Is he nice? Is he smart? Does he play hockey?” The questions flew from left and right.

“Yes, he’s nice. He’s really sweet to me. He is way better at math than me. Yes he does,” you rattled off the answers to her bombardment.

“Excellent,” she smiled. “You like this boy?”

“Yeah, I really do. A lot actually.”

She raised an eyebrow. “A lot?”

“Yeah, honestly, I might love him.”

That confession froze the kitchen over. She paused.

“Honey, you’re too young to know that,” she tried to reason.

Your chest stung. “What if I’m not?” You questioned.

“You’re fifteen.”

“I know Mom, I know.” She opened her mouth to talk, but you said, “I have to go start homework.” You charged up the stairs and crashed on your bed.

So what if you were fifteen? You didn’t care how old you were. Call it being naive, but you were sure you knew everything when you were young.

You just had to wait for timing to fall into place to prove everyone wrong.

tagging: @teamcanadasimp :)

#joel farabee #joel farabee x reader #joel farabee imagine #joel farabee fic #okay i caved and posted it because i miss them all very much #read chapter one if you haven't already!

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fairyhee · 4 years

Text

"dare."

"alright. I dare you to spin this bottle and play 7 minutes in heaven with whoever gets chosen."

...

Hi, this is the 1st thing I've written, ever. I just had this scenario in my mind for a while and I finally decided to give writing it a go, so I ended up with this. I left the name blank so you can imagine whoever you want (but I thought of Oneus Keonhee while writing it). Let me know if you enjoy it!

✨Optional bias

💘Smut / a bit of fluff I guess?

✨Word count: around 2k

...

Playing truth or dare with people you barely knew wasn't exactly your choice of activity in a normal setting, but the cute guy that had been smiling at you so sweetly every time your eyes landed on each other, and the few vodka cranberry cocktails you had downed earlier had made you change your mind. Maybe it was the alcohol, but it seemed like the whole room lit up whenever he laughed, and boy he did that a lot.

...

It was your popular friend's birthday, and they were throwing the usual party at their apartment, that was now full of people you mostly had never seen before. Given the situation, you tried to stick to the people you knew, but that wasn't possible at all times, so you'd have to interact with strangers sooner or later.

You were in the kitchen grabbing something to drink while your friend was at the bathroom. Concentrated on mixing your vodka, you didn't react when you noticed someone else entering the room, but you were soon surprised by a loud and cheerful voice.

"oh! Are you my outfit twin for tonight?"

As you raised your head in confusion, you realized what he was talking about. You two were wearing the exact same style. Leather pants, check. White button up, check. Combat boots, check. You stood there for a few seconds smiling like idiots and staring at each other in disbelief, just like that one Spiderman meme. When you finally snapped out of it, you burst into laughter.

"nice sense of fashion you got there" you said.

"I could say the same about you. What are you drinking?"

"vodka cranberry. Want me to pour you some?"

"sure. I'm _____, by the way"

And that seemed to be the start of a very promising evening. His laugh made your heart flutter from the first encounter. In fact, his entire presence was so breathtaking that it made you flustered, and you were grateful for his cheerfulness, as it helped you overcome this newfound shyness. The fact that your fashion sense seemed to match perfectly was just the cherry on top.

Before your friend could return from the bathroom, you were already vibing to the music with your new acquaintance, as you seemed to both like the upbeat songs that could be heard from the living room. You thought it was incredible how he knew so many choreos, and even when he didn't, he still danced. The both of you didn't sit down for the whole evening, even though every now and then you both returned to your own friends to not neglect them completely. Whenever a good song came on, you would eye each other from opposite corners of the room and do your dance moves from afar and laugh.

What you loved most about it was how comfortable he made you feel, how he wasn't just trying to grind on you like other guys would, but you were just enjoying the music and each other's presence. For some songs you could be silly together and laugh, for some he was just flexing his dance skills while you cheered on him, and for others, you got a bit closer, and it felt like there might be a little more going on between you. You saw the way he was looking at your curves, and you could definitely feel his gaze burning into you when you danced, though he never touched you or tried to make a move. Was he not interested? Was it all in your head, or was he shy? You hoped it was the latter.

As it started getting late and people started leaving or being too tired to dance, the host suggested all the remaining people to sit down in a circle and play truth or dare. If you didn't want to accept the dare or answer the question that was given, you would have to take a shot. You hadn't played this game since middle school, when all the dares were to kiss someone, so you wondered how this would turn out.

Your new friend had sat down right across from you, so he could easily see all of your reactions. The questions or dares were set by the person to the right, which meant that your friend would choose for you. You would rather avoid any embarrassing questions from her, so you chose dare.

"do you remember that sexy dance routine that you learned but never showed anyone because you were embarrassed? I dare you to do it here."

You hadn't seen this coming, but you took it as a chance to showcase what you've been practicing secretly. Gathering all the confidence you had in you, you danced with all your might and tried to make it as sensual as possible. You couldn't help glancing at that cute boy from time to time, and you were pleasantly surprised to find him watching closely, practically devouring you with his eyes, which only added more fuel to your fire. You earned a round of applause for your little performance, and a few spicy remarks from your friends who were shocked by this new side of you, but your mind was focusing on someone else.

After a few more people who chose truth to avoid doing something embarrassing, it was finally his turn.

"dare."

Finally, a fun choice, you thought to yourself.

"alright. I dare you to spin this bottle and play 7 minutes in heaven with whoever gets chosen."

As soon as he accepted, your heart skipped a beat. You would lie if you said it wouldn't sting a little to see him have his 7 minutes with someone else. You tried to read his facial expressions and he seemed excited about it, but you could only hope he wasnt excited about doing this with someone else in the room. Even though it wasn't your right to feel this way, there was nothing between the two of you, but you couldn't help yourself. As he spun the empty bottle, it felt like your head was spinning along with it. You tried talking nonsense to your friend in hopes you'll get distracted and get rid of the butterflies in your stomach, but your eyes were still glued on that bottle...

And it stopped pointing towards you.

You weren't sure how you two got up and into the room next to the one everyone else was in, and closed the door. Your mind was clouded but you weren't so sure it was the alcohol anymore. You leaned your back against the door and checked for his reaction to what was happening.

"so.... Are you satisfied with the result, or did you want it to be someone else?"

He smiled and slowly closed the distance between you.

"what do you think? I don't think I could've been more obvious about it. I couldn't keep my eyes off you all night."

You let out a laugh.

"and here I was, thinking you were just being nice."

You guessed your comment had made him think you weren't interested, because suddenly turned serious.

"are you okay with this? Because if not, we can just talk-"

"we only have 7 minutes. I think you can do better things with that mouth than just talk."

His eyebrow rose at your sudden change of attitude, and his lips turned into a smirk. His eyes didn't leave yours for even a single second.

"looks like we're gonna have to do something about that attitude of yours"

He barely finished his sentence and crashed his lips onto yours. He kissed you hungrily as you felt a sudden heat taking over your entire body. His body pressed you against the door and his hands started caressing over your curves, while he kissed your neck. It's like he already knew what your soft spot was... His wet lips sent chills all over your spine, and it made you claw at his clothed back. He moaned into the kiss, so you sneaked your hands under his shirt to gently scratch his bare back this time. This made him buck his hips into you and let out a louder moan, and you could feel how hard he was because of you. He was quite obvious about his slight pain kink, and you loved it.

You could do this all night, but by now there were probably only around five minutes left.

He must have realized this as well. You weren't sure how far you planned to go with this but surely you didn't want to stop there, so you didn't protest as he slipped his hand into the front of your leather pants and into your now soaked panties.

You whined as his fingers easily swiped across your wet folds and touched all the right spots, before focusing on the part where you wanted him the most. As he lightly teased your entrance with his long index finger, he suddenly spoke again.

"should I go on?"

You could barely breathe at this point, but appreciated his concern.

"please, don't stop."

That was all he needed. He pushed one finger inside of you, while his thumb was drawing circles across your bundle of nerves. The sensation was already so good you were seeing stars, but when he added a second finger you had to hold onto him for dear life, because your legs were shaking so much from all the pleasure. Arguably, his facial expression was making the whole thing ten times better. He looked more turned on than you'd imagined, considering you weren't doing anything to him. He looked so hot, you were just melting under his gaze and touch.

As you got closer to reaching your high, you snaked your hand into his hair and grabbed it, pulling him into a hungry kiss. His response to that was a deep groan, followed by him biting down onto your lips. He understood you were close, so he moved his lips to your side and whispered into your ear.

"you're so beautiful. Come for me, I wanna hear how good I make you feel."

You didn't need to be told twice. Rolling your eyes, you let out a series of whines as your orgasm took over you. You felt like you had just ascended to heaven, not caring about whether anyone could hear you anymore. As soon as you came down from your high, you were met with his burning gaze on you, and his sweet lips already forming a smile.

"wow, you know exactly what to say at the right moment, don't you" you said in a breathy tone.

He smiled.

"I meant it when I said you were beautiful. I'd do it again even if I got nothing in return."

His words got you all worked up once again. While he was finishing his sentence, you were already touching him lower and lower, wanting to repay the favor, but he gently grabbed your hands and pulled them away. He was still rock hard, and his leather pants weren't helping to hide how turned on he was, so why was he turning you down?

"As much as I'd like to continue, our 7 minutes have long passed. It must have been around half an hour now."

His words made you suddenly remember where you were. It felt like you had been under a spell which had now been undone.

"Half an hour???? God, I even forgot we were at a party." you said while flattening your clothes back into place. You wondered what he was gonna do to hide his hard-on, but you felt like you already did too much, so you just shut up.

"you good?" he asked with his hand on the knob.

"yeah, let's go."

As soon as he opened the door, you were met with complete silence. It looked like the few remaining people had been completely worn out by the alcohol while you were gone, because most of them, including your friends, were passed out on the carpet or on the couch, while some of the others had left. Only now you realized how much time you had spent in there, but also that everyone might have purposely forgot to knock on the door when your 7 minutes were over. And you were thankful for that.

"so that's why it was so quiet" he said, scratching the back of his head.

"so, what now?"

He pretended to think for a few seconds, then looked you and smiled shyly.

"I got an idea... how about we drop by my place for a coffee? We can chat, or, maybe watch a movie if you'd like. I hope I'm not getting ahead of myself here, considering you just met me tonight."

You giggled.

"what are you being so shy for? Looks like you forgot what we were doing just a few minutes ago."

He avoided your gaze and his ears got so red, it made you wonder how can he switch from making you moan his name to blushing about it in only a few moments.

"I'd love to. Let's go."

#keonhee #keonhee smut #oneus smut #oneus scenarios #oneus imagines #oneus fanfiction #keonhee scenarios #lee keonhee #oneus #kpop smut #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #optional bias #optional bias smut

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sarahjtv · 3 years

Text

BNHA Chapter 310 Spoiler Thoughts: “The First and Second Holders”

Some fan translations are out and it’s time to flex some thoughts out again! I couldn’t do them last night because I didn’t have all the scan images with me and I didn’t want to jump the gun with only text descriptions. Anyway, this was mainly an exposition chapter that properly introduces us to the second and third OFA Holders, especially the 2nd and what his relationship to the 1st is. This might not be as long as others “Spoiler Thoughts” I’ve written, but let’s see:

First off, we have a colored cover page by Horikoshi-sensei himself! It’s a solo page featuring Vigilante Deku and he looks badass! Deku looks ready to kick ass and take names. And, his Mid-Gauntlet is colored red like a lot of us thought and it adds to the theory that Melissa Shield did create it like she did with Deku’s Full-Gauntlet back in Two Heroes.

The chapter starts in a dark and rainy night. A large woman (she’s like maybe 10ft tall; she’s taller than All Might who I think is 7ft) with a mutant-type quirk who’s getting attacked by some civilians because they think she’s a villain. Deku jumps in to stop the attacks and the woman explains that she was just trying to go to one of the evacuation centers at a hero school. Deku is kind enough to give her her umbrella back and reassure her that things will be ok.

I gotta say that this whole situation is scarily close to real life right now. I don’t like getting too political, but we live in a scary world where discrimination is, unfortunately, alive and well... If you are a POC, you can be attacked from anywhere with the only reason being that “you’re a danger because of the skin you were born with”. It’s horrific, it’s disgusting, and it’s been around for a long time. Even in the BNHA universe, there used to be cults solely dedicated to discriminating against mutant-type people (we learned this back in the My Villain Academia Arc). So, like in the real world, this problem has risen again. Thankfully, there are people like Deku and All Might who are more than willing to help someone in need regardless of who they are. BNHA hits too close to home sometimes.

Anyway, going back to the BNHA story. Before All Might leaves to help the woman in his Batmobile, he hands Deku some Pork Katsu in a cute bento box wrapped in a bunny cloth! Deku is visibly happy and thanks All Might for the meal. This is so cute! I’m so glad to see that All Might is making sure that Deku is being properly taken care of. Boy needs to eat if he’s going to save the world. I’m also glad that Deku can still show signs of happiness despite, well, everything. I swear, if All Might doesn’t legally adopt Deku as his son by the time this series is over, I’m going to jump into this manga and force him to sign those documents myself.

The next panel shows Deku standing on what looks like Tokyo’s famous Sky Tree (or Sky Egg if we’re going off what Vigilantes showed us). He’s back to talking to the OFA Holders like they’re angels on his shoulders. Banjo talks about how it’s like the world’s reverted back in time when things were worse and Deku responds that if he doesn’t use all of OFA’s power, he’ll never be able to defeat Shigaraki and AFO. I know we’re in the final act, so Deku’s gotta get to 100% fast if he wants to win this war. Last we checked, he was at 45%, but he might be at a higher percentage now since he’s unlocked En’s Smokescreen. Also, Deku’s looking more and more like Batman each chapter and I gotta say that it really suits him.

Back to the Vestige Dream back when Deku was still in a coma after the war. The 1st Holder begs the 2nd and 3rd to corporate with him so that they can provide their power to Deku. The 1st calls the 2nd and 3rd “My Heroes” which causes some awkward silence lol. Neither one is responding, so Banjo breaks the silence by suggesting that Deku learn everyone’s Quirks so that he’ll get used to them once he starts using them. We learn why the 2nd and 3rd are the 1st’s heroes soon, but it’s actually a good idea for Deku to learn about all these different Quirks while he’s sleeping so that he’ll get a good idea on how to execute them when he wakes up. It’s kind of a way of training for Deku just without actually using the Quirks themselves.

The 3rd Holder (the one with the spiky ponytail and headband) starts to talk. He says that the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd came from the “Harshest era of history”. It was a time where AFO ruled all and peaked in power and control. He was going to take over the whole world if the first 3 Holders didn’t step in to stop him. My guess is that after AFO was defeated for the first time, society started to calm down and become more or less the world we knew before the War Arc. So, things weren’t as bad during the 4th Holder’s era and so forth. This would explain why Shinomori was able to hide in the forest for so long without being detected.

And now the big part of the chapter: the 2nd Holder. Who does in fact look A LOT like Bakugo. Big difference is that he has a massive scar across his face. I am aware of the whole “time travel” theory that people have going on with Bakugo and this dude, but I’m not on that train. Instead, I think that the 2nd Holder is one of Bakugo’s ancestors. Like, a really, really-great-grandfather. Horikoshi doesn’t just design his characters for no reason. The fact that the 2nd user looks so much like Bakugo, has a costume similar to Bakugo’s, and that future panels in this chapter straight up parallel that iconic scene with young Bakugo and Deku in the river only add fuel to this fire. Unless Horikoshi says otherwise, this is the theory I’m sticking to: this “Ancestor” theory.

And we know of the 1st user’s real name now too, which is Yoichi! If Horikoshi is keeping up with the “numbers in names” theme, then I’m positive that Yochi has the kanji for “One” somewhere in it. And, if we’re going to believe AFO at all, then that means that the 1st user’s full name is Yoichi Shigaraki. We don’t know AFO’s full name yet. But, again, AFO could be lying with his last name, so I’m taking this one with a grain of salt.

Back to the 2nd Holder, he tells Yoichi that a lot of lives were sacrificed in order to stop AFO back then. He believes that there is only victory or defeat in battle; that there’s no hope of saving their archenemy. He has doubt about putting his faith in Deku because of this. Given how the 3rd Holder still has his back turned too, I’m lead to believe that he also thinks Deku is crazy for wanting to save Shigaraki. I don’t exactly blame them. Really, none of us know if Deku will be successful in saving Shigaraki. He might have to kill him in the end. I think they should offer Deku help, but I don’t blame them for being at least a little skeptical.

But, Yoichi reminds the 2nd and 3rd users that they saved Yoichi back when AFO locked him up to die. They found Yoichi with the intention to kill him it seems, but the 2nd Holder showed sympathy for Yoichi and lent him a helping hand despite Yoichi being AFO’s little brother. This is the parallel panel I was talking about. Yoichi is kneeling down on the floor and the 2nd user is standing up extending his hand to help Yoichi. I don’t even need to look back in the manga to know what inspired this. Hell, I don’t even need to tell you! We all know what Horikoshi was doing when he drew and wrote this.

Yoichi convinces him that he should believe in Deku as Yoichi does think Deku will save the day. If the 2nd user didn’t extend his hand to help Yoichi, OFA wouldn’t have begun. I think that the trust between these two is ultimately the reason why the 2nd user finally agreed to help Deku; the same with the 3rd user too. And, kind of a tangent, but I really like how Horikoshi draws Yoichi and the 2nd user’s hands as they’re reaching for each other. Horikoshi has always been really good with drawing hands like they’re facial expressions (something my ass could never do 😭) and this one shows kindness and empathy. It’s almost like what would’ve happened if Bakugo accepted Deku’s hand for help when they were young instead of letting his pride and ego get in the way. Oh, the parallels!

Finally, the 2nd user speaks in present day telling Deku that they’re going full speed ahead now. My guess is that Deku’s going to have to improve on OFA and the rest of his Quirks quickly in order to find and beat the LoV. We are in the Final Act after all. The chapter ends at a good place if we want to switch to the UA kids, which is honestly what I’m hoping for. Again, I love Deku and his Vigilante adventures, but I miss the rest of the kids. The new BNHA Exhibition in Japan apparently has a giant drawing of the main class, All Might, Aizawa, and Shinso in his new hero costume! Which tells me that 1. Shinso probably took Deku’s place in the class for the time being, and 2. We’re definitely going to see the other kids again. I’m hoping soon. But, I wouldn’t be surprised if Horikoshi decided to continue focusing on Deku’s Vigilanteism and have him practice with he 2nd and 3rd Holder’s Quirks now that they’re working with him. We’ll just have to see.

So, that’s it! Solid chapter overall. I’m glad we finally got to see the 3rd and 2nd Holder’s faces. I think the “Kirishima is the 3rd Holder” theroy has been debunked at this point, but I’m still on the “2nd Holder is Bakugo’s ancestor” train. The similarities and parallels are too strong for me to deny it. Horikoshi-sensei, please confirm or deny soon 🙏. We are getting break next week for Golden Week BTW! All of Shonen Jump is actually, so no One Piece or JJK either (I’m not sure about Jump+, so we might still be getting some Spy X Family for example). So, basically all our favorite mangakas are getting a well-deserved break as they should! I hope they enjoy their vacation! Waiting’s going to suck tho, I’m ngl about that... Oh well, I’m willing to take the sacrifice if it means having healthy mangka. Thankfully, we still have the anime and the new exhibition to tide us over until then.

Edit: OR NOT SINCE THE EXHIBITION IS TEMPORARILY CLOSED BECAUSE OF A CERTAIN PANDEMIC GOING NUTS IN JAPAN AFTER ONLY BEING OPEN FOR 2 DAYS 😭

Edit: I went back to re-read the chapter and I completely missed the date for the next chapter (chapter 311) which is set to release on May 9th! So, we’re actually getting a 2 week break instead. Damn... Sucks for us, but it’s good for mangaka to get breaks when they can especially considering their absolutely insane schedule.

Me reading this chapter:

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franniebanana · 3 years

Text

CQL Rewatch - Episode 4

Okay, it’s been a hot minute since I was able to get to watching this episode, but here we go!

Great intro. Remember last time how Lan Wangji got to pick Wei Wuxian’s punishment? Well, it seems that Wei Wuxian was up late into the night working on transcribing and, surprise! he’s not done. And unless I’m mistaken, he’s actually spent days doing this, because when they first arrived, the salute ceremony was ten days away, and here we see Wei Wuxian is almost late for it. So by this point, I’d expect Wei Wuxian to have some serious hand cramps from all that calligraphy.

While I enjoy this comical moment and introduction to Nie Huaisang, I have to wonder why he thought bringing a bird into the salute ceremony was a good idea. Birds make noise—they tweet, flap their wings, try to escape cages! Anyway, it’s a goofy moment, but we got some cute expressions out of Xiao Zhan and some disdainful looks from Wang Yibo, so I can’t complain.

Xiao Zhan does a really good job of looking very young here at the beginning: his mannerisms, his facial expressions, how he carries himself, all really creates this feeling of being young and carefree. On the other side, Wang Yibo (who is six years younger than Xiao Zhan) does an equally good job of portraying someone more severe, mature, elitist. Lan Wangji has a reputation for being above people—for creating an aura that implies other people aren’t worth his time. In fact, he doesn’t even have any friends, as we found out in the last episode.

Wangxian really suit each other, even before they know each other at all: Wei Wuxian has this light, carefree nature to his character, while Lan Wangji’s is darker, more austere.

First of all, those fuckers. Gossiping about his lineage in full earshot of not only Jin Guangyao but also Jin Zixuan. This poor guy has practically clawed his way up to where he is, only to be an attendant to a clan that he has no blood relation to. His own father refuses to acknowledge him, his mother is gone, and these jerks gossiping—ugh! Hate it, regardless of who he grows to be later on in the series.

I really love Jin Guangyao and seeing how he changes from beginning to end is honestly a delight to watch. Like most of the characters, he seems so pure, so simple, such a kind person, and his relationship with Lan Xichen is something that you can’t devote enough time to. I think it gets shortchanged a little, but they only had 50 episodes, so I’ll take what I can get. Even in the book, I was left wanting to know more and see more about them (but I wouldn’t trade my wangxian content for that, so I guess I shouldn’t complain).

Last thing I want to say is, DIMPLES! Look at those adorable dimples!!

This is so insane—he literally set this guy on fire! How can he get away with this?! Anyway, enter Draco Malfoy—I mean, Wen Chao. Ahem. This series wants to throw a lot of villains at you right away: we already have Wen Ruohan, Xue Yang, potentially Wen Qing (we don’t know at this point), and now we have Wen Chao. They’re really pushing the Wen Clan is bad agenda. And as if being generally rude and probably mentally unstable isn’t bad enough, Wen Chao literally sets fire to one of the Gusu Lan Clan disciples, while the other disciple basically does nothing about it (why is that guy so useless? Doesn’t he have some spiritual energy to throw at that magic fire?).

Wen Chao is one of those characters that I think most people love to hate. He’s so evil, so horrible, yet charming, in a way. He is a villain and he’s proud of it, y’know? There’s no ambiguity here about his actions, which is kind of refreshing in a series filled with grey characters (and I love grey characters, don’t get me wrong).

Oh! And I just noticed while I was saving that screenshot that Wen Ning can’t even look at what’s going on. Very accurate to his character—non-confrontational, just wants to float along and do as he’s told. Really shows he’s under the thumb of the Wen Clan. I also like how Wen Qing is the one to put out the flames. You get to see that healer side of her early on.

Jiang Cheng and I had the same expression here—I really wanted to know what their gift to Lan Qiren was. If this is something in the book, well, then I’ve forgotten. Wei Wuxian and I have that trait in common: bad memory.

LWJ: Bro, can I hit him?

LXH: Nah, bro.

I missed this on my first viewing—or just forgot, most likely. Lan Wangji is so poised and collected, but also so defensive. He’s the brother who will be the first to go on the offensive if he sees something wrong happening, which I love. But I also love Lan Xichen’s chill attitude—yes, this guy is clearly a troublemaker, and he’s dissing our clan, but let’s settle this in an adult manner. According to the wiki, Lan Xichen is only a few years older than Lan Wangji, but you can see that he is a lot more mature in just those few years. Like I said in the last episode, he kind of had to be a parent to his younger brother and set an example of how you should behave. Of course, he’s also the clan leader, so he can’t really act like a spitfire.

Of course, if anyone is more defensive than Lan Wangji, it’s Wei Wuxian. Even though Lan Wangji has been a bit of a pain in the ass to him, Wei Wuxian still rushes to their defense. Even this early on, he’s started to form an attachment to the Gusu Lan Clan, whether he’s really aware of it or not. I’m wearing my wangxian goggles, but the “you offended the Jiang Clan because my brother was in the middle of his salute” kind of feels like an afterthought.

But of course it’s in Wei Wuxian’s character to be heroic like this—to rush to the defense of others, whether it’s asked for or not, and I don’t get the feeling that Lan Wangji disapproves of this. I think he takes note of this and future events, adding it to what he’s compiled of what makes Wei Wuxian tick. And by this time, I think he’s also decided to give Wei Wuxian another chance—Lan Xichen has planted the seed in his mind that he could be a good friend to Lan Wangji.

I know he’s not supposed to be gay.

I know.

But…come on. The way he’s looking at Lan Xichen right now—it’s a look certainly of deep admiration and respect. And there’s not a hint of jealously either, even though Jin Guangyao has every reason to be jealous of Lan Xichen: the respect he commands is great—he can even subdue the Wen Clan. But instead of hating Lan Xichen, Jin Guangyao instead becomes close friends with him, very much a parallel to Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. Fascinating! These characters are so rich—so many layers, so much to talk about!

The first time I watched this, I was so annoyed with Nie Huaisang—any additional scenes that were added just drove me crazy. But now, having watched it all, I actually really appreciate these moments of comic relief, even the ones that are unique to CQL. As the series progresses, it gets darker and darker, and these lighter moments are honestly precious when you know what’s coming.

Someone explain to me why Jiang Yanli is making soup when meals are being provided to them? Yes, we know she takes care of her brothers, but why is it always her making soup? This is the first of many soup scenes, and at a certain point, it’s like beating a dead horse. I actually would have appreciated a little scene of them eating Gusu Lan Clan food and getting to see Wei Wuxian complain about it. I wouldn’t mind a disapproving look from Lan Wangji at overhearing it either.

Yeah, remember when I was saying Lan Wangji was taking note of the good things Wei Wuxian did? Well, he’s also very aware of how naughty he is. At the beginning, Wei Wuxian’s good traits are heavily outweighed by his transgressions, though, by comparison, they are minor ones. It’s ironic that later on Lan Wangji will overlook major transgressions without a second thought. Shows what a deep relationship they are able to cultivate.

I feel like, in a way, this is Wei Wuxian’s way of apologizing for offending him earlier—like, I’m being cute, Lan Zhan! Obviously it only makes Lan Wangji more annoyed, but it’s the thought that counts, right? Wei Wuxian is really testing boundaries here. He has such a fixation on Lan Wangji, one that definitely annoys Jiang Cheng (and makes him jealous to boot, in my opinion), but it works to his advantage, since Lan Wangji can’t really keep his eyes off of Wei Wuxian either. And the circumstances that follow just keep drawing them together.

After Wei Ying gets told to leave the lecture and go to the Library Pavilion, he doesn’t look at anyone except Lan Wangji. I wonder if he wants to know Lan Wangji’s reaction—is it disappointment, anger, something else? Whatever it is, he wants Lan Wangji’s attention—that’s what he seeks above anything else. You could argue that he doesn’t look at Jiang Cheng or Jiang Yanli because he knows they’re disappointed or upset with him, and I think that’s fair. And maybe he doesn’t seek their attention because he knows he has it—but he doesn’t feel like he’s gotten Lan Wangji’s attention here and that bothers him.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 |

#cql rewatch #cql #the untamed #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #lan wangji #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #nie huaisang #jin guangyao #lan xichen #xiyao

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