#it’s all I want for Critmas
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A Critmas Narrative Telephone special that’s just Essek trying to explain a really complicated spell concept but he keeps getting interrupted and at the end he’s says “yes, Caleb, I’ll be down soon” but the rest of the cast accidentally-on-purpose changes it to something like “I’ll be up to bed soon” or smth
#no this is not a projection#it’s all I want for Critmas#critical role#narrative telephone#shadowgast#caleb widogast#essek thelyss
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Lustige Geschichten
..a Crit-mas Story for @amazingmsme for Squealing Santa 2k23!!
A/N: Happy Holidays, Merry Chrysler, and Happy Critmas to the amazing @amazingmsme!!!!!! I absolutely loved all your prompts so I tried to combine a few, I hope you enjoy this lovely holiday gift! 💚 (and shout-out to @hypahticklish for organizing and coordinating and presiding over this year’s @squealing-santa)
Critical Role - Mighty Nein - ticklish!Caleb, featuring an assortment of very mean, lovely friends (most of the Nein)
[AO3 Link]
Words: 6.8k
Summary: Jester enjoys a nice story time, and Caleb, despite himself, has a fun evening under the persistent affection of his friends. Errrrybody hops on the tickle-the-wizard-out-of-his-keen-mind train.
...
Caleb stretches his back a bit uncomfortably as he shifts in the wooden chair, having spent the last few hours in more or less the same spot —posture curled forward around the desk.
A cheerful, curious little ‘murrp’ catches his ear. He glances over to find one of the tower cats, Rudi, strolling toward him.
“Mm, guten Abend, Rudi.”
Rudi trots over and rubs up against his legs. His whiskers tickle at Caleb’s ankle.
He smiles, eyes still on his book.
The light, fluffy feeling trails away a few moments later when Rudi pads over to the nearby sofa in the study outside Caleb’s bedroom. Rudi circles a few times before plopping himself down comfortably on a cushion. He ‘mrrow’s and chirrups a few times, tail flicking impatiently as he looks over at the wizard.
“You know, if you wanted some attention you could go find Jester, you know how she loves to cuddle with you at night.”
Rudi meows and rolls over, rubbing his head into the couch cushions.
A few more minutes pass, not without an array of ‘meow’s calling to him, inviting him over.
Caleb exhales, blowing a loose wisp of hair out of his face. “Mmm. You are making it rather hard to concentrate.”
Rudi responds in kind with a trill, rolling back onto his belly. He stretches, then flops onto his other side again in a move to beckon the wizard over to the soft cushions next to him on the couch. He purrs loudly, and then lets out another trilling meow, looking expectantly at Caleb.
“Very well then.” Caleb sighs. “But I’m bringing my book.”
Rudi wiggles, baring his belly as Caleb sits down, a fair bit more comfortable than the wooden chair. Caleb holds up his book in one hand and pats Rudi with the other. He still often denies himself comfort and kindness out of habit — but, it can be nice to be pushed into it by friends (and cats) around you.
“Thank you for the company.” Rudi’s resonating purr sends a wave of calm through Caleb where the cat is pressed up to his hand and thigh.
“Hiiiii. You guys look cozy. Room for one more?” With a colorful blur and twirl around the corner into the doorway, Jester arrives on the scene, a cheerful smile apparent in her voice as she says. “Hey, Caleb.”
Caleb hums in acknowledgement, turning the page in his book. “Hallo, Jester.” He says it without looking up, a dusting of pink on his cheeks at his unexpected guest.
In a few strides, the blue figure in his peripheral gets closer until he feels the couch dip next to him on the opposite side of where Rudi is curled up. “What are you reading?”
“A book.”
Jester harrumphs, shouldering against him with a pout. “A book about what?”
Caleb fights off a smile. He is already thoroughly distracted —so he’s made peace with ending his studies early.
He pretends to turn the page and continue reading, and Jester lets out a whine in a pitch befitting Sprinkle.
He lets her fester a few moments longer before he answers, failing to fully fight off his smile. “Just some texts on Pre-Calamity Exandria I borrowed from Essek’s library— well, it delves into some history as well as specifics on the spells and magic of the time, the ideas behind it, and the history of uses within various schools of the arcane.”
“Oh..” She scrunches up her nose. “I wanted to see if I could read with you. But that sounds pret-ty bo-ring.”
He hums in acknowledgement.
Jester’s tail lashes side to side, impatient and bored —two qualities that, when found in her, tend to lead to an afternoon of mischief.
She sighs dramatically, leans her head on Caleb’s shoulder to look at the book.
Caleb hums again, turning the page.
“If I find you something more… fun to read… would you read it to me and Rudi?” She asks a few beats later.
Caleb’s eyes flick sideways to her, a soft smile on his lips. “Ja, sure, of course.” He turns the page. “None of your smut, though.” He adds, fighting down a smirk.
She sticks out her tongue, and he has the good graces not to call her on it.
Getting up and roaming about his bookshelves, she begins. “Okay, okay. What’s a good one— ummm.. Let me look!”
Caleb marks the page in his text as Jester fingers through his books.
“Oh how about this one! Look at this guy, he’s so scary!” She makes a face, holding up the book. There’s a tall figure with wild, wiry, mad-scientist looking hair sprouting in every direction from his head — his face outstretched in a foul scream. His fingernails are longer than his hands themselves, and scatter, crooked, every which way from his hands.
“Ah, that’s a Zemnian children’s classic.” Caleb sits fully upright on the couch, closing his book.
Jester laughs out loud at that. “This is for kids?”
He sets his book down on the table beside him. “Ja. Der Struwwelpeter.”
Jester bounds over with a giggle, repeating the title in a silly imitation of Caleb’s accent. She plops down and quickly snuggles into the corner of the couch, then turns to Caleb, making grabby hands in his direction.
His cheeks flush a little — as they always do in the face of such open affections — as he leans to sit closer to her on the couch. It’s not a moment before he feels her arm loop around his shoulders.
“Oh— hi, ok.” Caleb lets out a nervous little laugh as she draws him closer. Rudi stands with a stretch.
“I wanna see the pictures- here, like this!”
She shifts him, which he allows with a tired smile, until she’s laying against the arm of the couch and he is dragged back against her, back to chest, his legs over hers up on the couch cushions. Her head comes to rest gently on the mop of his orange hair.
“Perfect! Are you comfy?” Jester asks brightly.
Caleb snorts a little, settling in to his new position practically lying down on the couch. He pretends to be a bit put out, but sighs and stretches one leg out and it bumps into the other arm of the couch. He puts one ankle up on the arm and bends the other leg at the knee, getting comfortable. Rudi find himself a comfortable spot across Caleb’s thighs and plops down, continuing to purr.
“Alright, well let’s see,” he brushes off the cover. “‘Der Struwwelpeter, oder lustige Geschichten und drollige Bilder von Dr. Heinrich Hoffmann’ — this book is a compilation of funny children’s tales and illustrations.” He explains.
“Which word means ‘funny’?”
“It’s this word here, ‘lustig’.” Caleb points to the cover.
“Lustige,” she reads and then laughs.
He reads each of the two first pages in their original form, a cadence coming to his lips at the familiar text. She doesn’t understand what the words all mean, but it still sounds lovely, like an old song from far away.
Then, the story putters to a stop as he pauses to explain to her what it says.
He continues this way, reading, explaining, reading, explaining, holding up the book so Jester can look more closely at the pictures, scrutinizing.
A few pages deep, when he finishes the Zemnian, she suggests. “Hm.. When you tell me what it says… Can you do it in a silly voice?”
“Um-” Caleb is a master of changing many things, but his accent is not one of them. He laughs again, a little sheepish. “Okay…”
He clears his throat and then —in a terrible, silly imitation of Jester— he explains what the passage says in Common.
Jester laughs in delight and follows along.
She ooh’s and ahh’s as Caleb reads each of the next pages in Zemnian and then explains what it says in his decidedly silly voice.
Jester lets out a gasp at the next turn of the page. “Oohhhh my gosh, Caleb, it’s the guy from the front, look at his nails.” She grins, observing the full page of artwork depicting a large child —or, maybe, a small man— with wild hair that looked like it had just taken a bit too much lightning damage, and with fingernails grown out much longer than his fingers. They stretch wildly across the page.
Caleb huffs out a little laugh. “Mmhm.”
And then, because she is Jester, she continues. “Don’t you think they would be..” She brings her own nails up to trace gently along the shell of his ears. “Reaaaaally tickly?”
A shiver runs down his spine. “Heh- ja, yes.” Caleb shakes his head a little, brushing off the flutter in his chest and flare of embarrassment. He takes one of his hands off of the book to swat at her hands. “You would love them, I’m sure.”
“Oh, I really would…” She smiles and wiggles a bit. “I would use them for so many pranks.. ooh and tickle fights. Oh, I would win every time.”
Caleb’s hand has successfully deterred her fingers from his neck.
But, he notes with a shiver, she just reaches down to pinch at his sides a few times instead.
He squirms, readjusting. “You don’t need any extra help. You already do.” His elbows don’t quite clamp down to his sides, but come down enough to gently push her teasing fingers away.
Caleb feels the energy of the evening beginning to shift. There’s something flittering about inside him at that, but he presses on with the task, and the conversation, at hand.
But, a few more pokes and Caleb’s arms press down harder on instinct. “Jester— the book..” He reminds her, voice light with almost-laughter.
The cat shifts in his lap, giving Caleb a look that perhaps on a human would look annoyed.
Jester pulls her hands away from his sides, but quickly redoubles her efforts back up on the side of his neck, quick and gentle. “Mmm. Right, right. Tell me more about ‘dar Schtruvvelpater’.”
“Hey- ehe- hey.” He snorts again, scrunching his neck. “Would you stop it— I-I’m trying to read to you.” His voice is light, fluttering, and it cracks with a laugh around the words —it all comes out a little more high pitched than he intended.
Jester lets out a whine, clearly wanting to continue both. “You can keep reading!” She giggles, pinching down his shoulders and around to the backs of his armpits.
“But—” He pleads, but then Jester’s hands are down around the bottoms of his ribs again. “Ah! Je- Jester I can’t—” He chokes out, snickering and wobbling back and forth between her pokes on either side of his rib cage. His elbows squeeze against his sides, trying in vain to protect himself while maintaining his hold on the novel.
Rudi yowls at them, indignant, and turns to plop up onto the back of the couch, curling up in the middle.
“Oh sorry Rudi!” She chuckles. “But, seriously Caleb—it’s fine, I don’t mind if you laugh!” Jester adds, and wiggles her fingers around and over his stomach.
Laugh he does, pressing the book against his middle in a poor attempt at defense. His arms do their best to attempt to cover a few of his weak spots, but Jester doesn’t seem to mind the obstacle, easily finding others. She tuts at him and crawls her hands back up his sides.
Jester’s fingers work their way up and then jump to his neck again. Caleb clings to the book for dear life, pulling it up to cover his face as he fights a continuous, losing battle with the giggles that Jester is keen to draw out of him.
“Wait— hehe wait I- heh- I thought you wanted— aha- ah— y-you wanted me to read to you!” Laughter cracks through every word, climbing to the surface like weeds sprouting forth between the bricks of a worn path.
“Well I did—I do, but now—” She shifts her legs, wiggling to get them out from underneath Caleb and then wrapping them around his middle to block him in against her chest and the couch. “I thought of something else I wanna listen to.”
Caleb cackles when Jester scribbles, unexpected and intently, over his lowest ribs. “Sch-scheiße! Oh noho- ahaHA NAHA-NEIN JESTER!” He nearly squirms out of her grasp, giggling and chasing her hands with his elbows —but, he’s no match for her leg muscles —plus, he’s still trying to hold onto the book.
He just about jumps out of his skin when he suddenly picks up a green figure in his field of vision —Fjord, who somehow made it halfway across the room without Caleb’s notice. Shit.
Blushing further, the wizard closes his eyes and tries to hide his face between Jester’s shoulder and the couch. “No— don’t!” Caleb squeals between laughs as Fjord approaches.
“What are you two doing in here, hmm?” Fjord asks casually.
Caleb shivers, envisioning the grin on his face. He sucks in a breath and clamps his mouth shut, convinced that maybe he can avoid getting someone else involved if he holds it together—if he just doesn’t laugh again for the next few seconds.
“He’s reading me a story!” Jester responds, chipper.
“Oh, that sounds nice.” And then, closer. “Can I listen too? How can I help?”
Caleb’s heart spins in a swirl of excitement and giddiness and nerves. “Nooooohoho.” He responds, unable to hold back the giggles from his words.
“Shh— I wasn’t asking you.” Fjord scolds.
Caleb whines, a little indignant, with a laugh into the crook of his elbow.
“Oh I know!” Jester gathers excitedly, pointedly ignoring Caleb. “I’ll hold the book and turn the pages, and you can hold his hands because they are probably, like- so, so tired from holding the book up this whole time, hmm?” She nuzzles against Caleb’s ear then, teasing. “Right Caleb?”
Caleb squirms, his legs kicking against the couch. “Mmmmf nooooo—”
“Great idea, Jes.” Fjord answers just as Caleb chokes out another desperate little sound of protest as he breaks down into laughter.
“Here, give me this.” Jester commands, ceasing her light, tickling pokes and reaching to take the book from Caleb’s hands.
He shakes his head, curling his upper body inward protectively. “Nohohoo—” Caleb cries as she pokes at his neck with one finger, bringing his hands back in toward his face.
Fjord’s hands wrap —firm and unyielding as any proper sailor’s knot— around Caleb’s small wrists.
Caleb keens forward desperately with a high pitched laugh, and Jester pulls the book the rest of the way from his grip. “There we go! Okay, okay, now then...”
Jester holds the book up above them, flipping to the page they left off on. Meanwhile, Fjord, standing beside the couch, gently tows Caleb’s shaky arms up over red and blue mops of hair.
Caleb giggles, a few anxious little sounds of anticipation making their way out in between. He tugs weakly at his arms as he is brought back down against Jester’s chest. “Hnnnmf— Fjord,” His voice is light, nervous. “W-wait—”
“Can you see okay? Keep reading, keep reading, go on!” Jester draws the book in toward his face.
A few quick, giddy breaths, and then he manages to read the next line of text between little laughs, his voice shaky, before it’s cut off with a squeal. “und die —CH AHH AHA HAH— NEIN!” Jester has one hand off of the book and wiggles her fingers, close but not quite touching, just above his rib cage. He shakes his head. “Don’t- don’t tease! Bihihitte!”
“Ha!” Fjord laughs at that, squeezing at Caleb’s wrists gently in comfort. “Oh? You’re asking Jester? Not to tease?”
Caleb whimpers, shaking his head more. “I- I..”
Jester grins, pulling her hand even further away and dexterously wiggling her fingers at him. “If I was ‘dare Schtruvel Peter’ I could tickle you from all the way up here!”
“Jester—” Caleb sounds like he’s about to die, his voice strangled.
“Are you gonna keep reading or are we just gonna have to put the book down and focus on tickling you?” She asks, a faux impatience in her voice.
“No! HA NEIN DON’T! Please— I can’t!”
“Sure you can, go on then!” Jester teases, her fingers wiggling threateningly above his rib cage.
Caleb shrieks and hides his head against his shoulder again.
“Alright… well, I guess you’ll have to finish the story later, then.” Jester sighs. “Fjord, can you—” She moves the book up over Caleb’s head, wiggling it in the air.
“No wahahait! Wait—” Caleb shakes his head, trying to wriggle his arms free.
One of Caleb’s wrists is released so that Fjord can safely grab the old book and set it next to his other discarded pile on the table beside the couch. Immediately, the freed arm shoots down and presses against his side, blocking his ribs and armpit from Jester’s teasing. His hand then comes up to cover his red face.
“Oh no you dont.” Fjord says with a sternness as he grips Caleb’s wrist once again, gentle but strong, and pries it up away from his face.
Caleb struggles, he fights him on it with a smile on his face, despite his show of protest.
Well, he struggles for all of three seconds before Jester pinches at the soft spot just under his ribs twice and Caleb flails, melting, and his already limited strength is rendered useless. Fjord gets both arms comfortably back up and pinned and leans over, smirking down at them. “Does that book have any stories about……… tickle monsters?”
“Nein—” He snorts, giggles coming out faster as Jester wiggles both hands toward and away from his prone middle, never quite touching. “But I- I think I could heh—send in ideas for their nehehext publication.”
Fjord agrees with a hum. She is rather terrifying.
“What’s that called in Zemnian, hmm Caleb?” Fjord asks.
“Ehehe— what?”
“Yeah, yeah! How do you say ‘the tickle monster’!” Jester asks excitedly.
He thinks, squeezing his eyes shut. “Hehe it would.. it would be ‘das Kitzelmonster’—” He snickers as he says it, blushing a bit more.
“Aww, that’s so cute. ‘Das Kitz el Monstar’.” Jester pokes at his ribs, whispering a quick, teasing ‘kitz kitz kitz kitz’ with each poke.
As soon as she does this, Caleb jolts. He realizes, too late, that he’s just supplied a new and dangerous fuel for the already devastatingly effective teases they both are. His back rockets up and away from Jester, face flushing hot. “Staha- stop- no! N-HNN DOHOHON’T!” His legs kick up and in toward his middle, but are blocked by Jester’s legs wrapped around him.
With nowhere else to go, they start kicking wildly into the air and at the couch. “BITTE! Don’t— don’t say that!” His voice cracks on a loud laugh, neck and ears red hot with embarrassment.
Jester is known for her teasing and taking apart of defenses, and she’s unmistakably the resident tickle monster of the group. She’s tickled and teased Caleb more times than she can count. He is always a sucker for it —never fails to make things a little worse, a little more sensitive, a little more effective.
But, this time, she notices, he seems even more desperate to get away from the teasing. “Aww, I know how much you looooove it when we talk about how ticklish you are…”
“B-Bitte— HAHA DON’T— don’t!” Caleb wails.
“Is it even wooooorse when I say it in Zemnian? Heehee! What was it? Kitzelmonster? Kitzel? Aww are you too kitz-kitz-kitzel-ish Caleb?” She scratches gently at his sides.
Caleb does his best impression of a contortionist, wailing and struggling against her in a way that seems more keen to actually get away than just for show.
“Did the Kitzelmonster get ya?” She giggles.
He’s taken much harder — and much worse — tickling before, and never reacted quite so viscerally to teasing. Jester feels an evil, delighted little twist in her stomach at the knowledge.
“Eheehee no! HAHA JESTER— Please!! N-not that —don’t say it! Mist, stop it —please.”
“HMMMMmm.” She ponders loudly, gently fitting one unmoving fingertip after another into the grooves of his ribs. With his squirming, he’s essentially tickling himself at this point. “How about… if you ask me to tickle you, I’ll stop saying how cute and kitz kitz kitzel-ish you are!”
“NEIN!” Caleb shouts, indignant.
“I’ll even give you a little break first if you ask nice!” She offers with a laugh. “Because like, you kinda seem like you’re gonna die.”
He says nothing, just laughs and shakes his head.
“Okay then.” He feels her shrug underneath him. Her hands pull away from his ribs.
He takes a nervous, shaky breath —just in time for her fingers to walk up to Caleb’s rib cage under his shirt instead and start doing something very fast and very effective.
He shrieks and breaks into desperate cackles. His laughter pitches up to a scream —and, just as quickly, she pulls her hands back out from under his shirt.
“Now, wanna try that again?” She opens and closes her hands like little claws, a few inches above Caleb’s sides. “Or do you want me to keep talking about how kitz-kitz-kitzel-ish poor little ticklish kitzel-ish Caleb is?”
Caleb shakes his head with a surprising voracity, his body flailing and jolting. Fjord nearly loses his grip on Caleb’s wrists.
Still not touching him, she wiggles her fingers, and Caleb laughs as though her claws are already taking him apart.
“BITTE— NEIN!” He pleads. “AHA— STAHOP!”
She persists, voice dark and scary. “Oh nooooo, Caleb! The Kitzelmonster’s almost got you! And it brought its fri-ends!”
As she speaks, teasing and throwing in every silly variation she can of the word that she can think of.
Her voice gets quieter from Fjord’s perspective as she leans in close and continues, whispering into Caleb’s bright red ear.
Jester teases in a way that should be outlawed, truly a cruel and unusual punishment. It’s— he’s… laughing and squirming so hard already, and- and no one’s even tickling him right now.
Tears in his eyes, face red and blotchy, Caleb eventually whimpers out —his voice desperate, breathless, “Jester- enough, STOP stop- stop saying it, plehehehehease! Okay! Okay— ehehe! Stop!” He groans. “Just- just tickle meheHEHEEHEE—”
Her fingers zip in to do just that as Jester giggles triumphantly. “By the way, next time we do this, I’m gonna make you tell me how to ask for it in Zemnian.” She adds casually.
Through silly giggles, he asks. “NE-NEIN- Jester, ahaha, wh-why?” His eyes flutter shut.
Fjord laughs, the sound radiating warmth into Caleb’s skin. “She really is an evil little ‘Kitzelmonster’, isn’t she?”
“Fjord!” Jester scolds with a giggle as Caleb lets out a pathetic squeal in protest at his words.
Caleb’s legs fly into the air, kicking at imaginary targets yet too uncoordinated to hit even those. His laughter rings out loudly in the room as Jester pokes and scritches under his arms.
“You look like you’re ready to try out for the circus.”
The sudden appearance of Mollymauk’s voice sends a chill down Caleb’s spine.
His head snaps over to confirm that, yes, Molly is leaning casually in the doorway. Smile on his face. Mischief in his eyes. Fingers twitchy in a way he gets when he really wants something (and that ‘something’, often, is to draw lovely laughter from those close to him).
“But really, Caleb, you’re going to hurt yourself if you keep floundering about like that.”
“Hi Molly! Oh, you’re right. I did say I’d give him a break,” Jester smiles, bringing her hands down to rest on his thighs, not tickling.
Caleb’s deep breath out is fizzling with anxious snickers. “Ehehehe M-Mollymauk.. Molly. Molly—” How long has he been standing there?
“Yes?” Molly purrs, drawing into the room.
Caleb looks up at the ceiling, whimpers. “Please,” a breath, “you’ll— ehe they’ll— you’re killing mehehehee.”
“I’m killing you? Ha. Well. It’s a good thing Jester’s close by.” Molly smirks, then, dramatically winces with a waiver of his hand. “Mm. Well, I bet Caduceus isn’t far anyway.”
“Hey! Rude!” Jester shifts to stick her tongue out at Molly. “Anyway. Don’t you think he’s had enough of a break? Go get his feet!”
“What? No wait! But you barely—” Caleb cries out, drawing his legs as close to his chest as possible.
“You bet-ter put those back down…” Jester threatens, tracing featherlight circles into the skin of his sides, just under his shirt.
“No!” Caleb wails in protest. His flailing kicks begin anew.
Well, if he’s going to be stubborn about it… Molly strolls to the other end of the couch, chuckles, and then, like a cat watching a flock of birds, begins batting at Caleb’s legs and dodging kicks, hunting for the perfect in.
Uncoordinated, tickled, and giddy with laughter, Caleb doesn’t make it long before Molly’s towing one of his ankles down to the end of the couch with a victorious snicker.
“Got one!”
His other leg keeps kicking wildly, still unclaimed.
There’s a mixture of Common and Zemnian (or at least an attempt at them) in between loud, boisterous, shrieking laughs as Molly swipes a finger up and down his sole.
Jester moves her fingers up, two on each side, scritching lightly into Caleb’s armpits.
Meanwhile, Molly fully disregards the free foot in order to devote his focus to holding down Caleb’s ankle and wiggling more fingers under scrunched toes.
Molly gets a claw under and between some just as Jester adds more fingers to his underarms, and Caleb makes a sound so loud and desperate that he’s glad —somewhere in his mind where he can remember to be— that they is in his tower and not in the middle of a tavern room, surrounded by other rooms, with people around.
In the moment, he fails to consider, however, that there are in fact still people in the tower.
Caleb’s not thinking about that, though. In fact, he’s not thinking about much at all right now, other than how badly this tickles.
“You have ten seconds to put your other leg down, or I’m gonna have Molly come up here and help me get your ribs.” Jester offers as a threat, pausing her tickling, as does Mollymauk.
A beat of silence aside from quavering laughter, then Caleb asks. “Wh-when… when did you become so evil?”
Jester giggles. “Always been!” And then she blows a raspberry on his neck.
“AAAII— OKAY!”
She stops —and then, denying his better instincts, Caleb brings his other leg down shakily. He allows Molly to wrap both ankles up in the crook of his elbow.
The free purple hand wiggles delightedly, a few inches away from the trapped soles before him. He looks back over his shoulder at Caleb —who looks absolutely lovely when he’s devastated in this way.
Caleb protests without any conviction. “This is— very unfair.”
Jester pokes down his rib cage and over to his tummy.
“Plehe— oh nohoh-AHA haha noooo—” Caleb squirms, his head rolling back with laughter.
Just then, she starts to lightly spider her fingers over his stomach, while Molly does the same technique, alternating over each foot. Fjord watches each of them fondly, Jester clearly having the time of her life — she really is a ‘Kitzelmonster’. They take turns, not wanting to completely overwhelm the tired, scrawny wizard, with Molly and Jester each watching the other and commenting on Caleb’s reactions.
When Caleb opens his blurry eyes again, a few minutes and endless laughs later, he sees Veth, looming over the back of the couch next to a curled up Rudi. She gives him a smug, knowing little smile. It can be intense, electric, unbearable at times —being tickled —but Caleb has confessed under the influence of alcohol and ticklish duress that he doesn’t hate — or even enjoys, much to his chagrin — the opportunities that come up in his life for his brain to slow down and fog up a little bit, til there is no room for guilt and worry. He is in (many) good hands, after all. But, it’s nice to know she knows, she’ll be there, she’ll help take him apart a little too, if she likes, and, eventually, she’ll help reign in the tieflings if he needs her to.
Caleb can’t hold her gaze for long, his eyes close just as Jester’s fingers start poking into his sides repeatedly.
A moment later he gasps, curling his head and neck sideways at the first flutter of a light, fluffy edge of a feather along the shell of his ear.
“Ehe- staha— Veheheheth!” Caleb stutters out through laughter. He attempts a peak at her and finds one of her feather-fall feathers held neatly in her mage hand, twirling about just beside his head. “Ahaha— nein!”
“What is this? You guys threw a wreck-the-wizard party without me?” Beau’s voice cuts through the already overwhelmed sensory input in Caleb’s brain.
His voice is shrill, desperate in response. “No— hehehe nononono— Beheheheaureagard! Aha gehehehet out of hehehere! NOHOHOHO!”
“Oh, please. Don’t bother.” Beau’s response is rippling with smug laughter as she waves dismissively at him.
Caleb soon becomes aware of a hand wrapping around his shins a few moments after she speaks. He curses between laughs and hopelessly tries again to kick his legs.
Beau moves one arm behind his legs and squeezes at his calf muscle once, twice, an attempted scolding for his jolts and kicks of protest. Caleb shrieks. Everyone freezes — it almost feels as though time stops for a moment.
Caleb yelps when she does it again, his breath sucking in a half-second later.
Jester peaks over Caleb’s shoulder. “Oooh, what did you do?” Her hands idle over Caleb’s sides.
Molly looks over his shoulder, smug and grinning. “Look— I knew your knees were bad… but.”
“Looks like someone’s a little ticklish here.” Beau smirks, letting out a little evil laugh. She squeezes the back of Caleb’s leg again, a few inches below his knee.
“No!” He cries out, laughing. “Dohohon’t—”
“Yeah? And what are you gonna do about it? Laugh?” Beau snickers and begins squeezing the back of each of his legs, up and down the calf muscles. She kneels down beside the couch, finding the perfect angle. Meanwhile, Molly keeps Caleb’s ankles locked up in a solid, tight hold, enjoying the show.
Caleb wails out a few more wheezy protests between cackles as Beau tickles up and down his legs. “Don’t! Beauhoho— hahaha stAHAHOP!”
Jester wriggles underneath him as she repositions and trails her hands down.. down.. down as far as she can, lightly tickling down his ribs and sides as she goes, squeezing his hips, past where her own legs are wrapped around his middle. She reaches out, grabbing in the air at Beau’s hands —fingers still a decent distance from tickling anywhere near his calves or knees. “Ha! You’re ticklish everywhere Caleb!” Jester giggles into his ear.
“Yeah, how’d you manage to hide this spot from us for so long?” Beau asks. “Are your legs this sensitive all the way up and down?” She pinches at the backs of his ankles all the way up to his knees, then continues up, squeezing around his thighs.
“Ehehe- no! Leheheheheave them alone!” Caleb cries.
“Not a chance, man- ha! They so are— look at you!” She pinches at a spot a few inches below his knee that gets him kicking — or, well, trying his best to. “You’re fucking ridiculous!” She laughs.
Caleb lets out a noise somewhere between a snort and a plea. His laughter and thrashing continue to grow frantic.
Beau leans against the couch and wraps Caleb’s knees up in one arm. She pinches and squeezes the backs of his calves with her free hand, a smug grin on her face.
Mollymauk’s tail joins her hand and tries to wiggle against the backs of his legs and knees. Meanwhile, his fingers keep up a quick tempo fluttering across Caleb’s wiggling feet.
“Eeheehee whahahahah-why are you tryhihing to kill mehehehee!?” Caleb cries out.
Jester watches delightedly as Beau and Molly drive him up the wall. She holds tight with her legs as he squirms and wriggles, desperate for escape.
“Aww, you say that like it’s a bad thing!” Jester answers him, wiggling her fingers in a tease a few inches above his armpits. “We wouldn’t do it if you weren’t having fun!”
Caleb turns somehow even more red at that and lets out a pathetic little peal of laughter in response to her teasing.
Veth’s mage hand moves down to start poking at his top rib just under his armpit on the side nearest the couch.
“Ehe— no! Neihihein! Bitte!” He squirms to the side, only to meet Jester’s finger on the other side.
Molly and Beau pause to rearrange a bit, trying to figure out the best way to hold his legs while also watching his helpless little squirms.
Caleb sputters out giggles and half-worded pleas.
Jester ponders aloud. “I should probably call Yasha and Caduceus… I feel like they’re going to be preeeeeetty bummed if they miss this. I know I would be.”
“No— no!” Caleb squeaks.
Molly wiggles a finger up and down Caleb’s arch while Beau squeezes just above his knee.
“Ugh. You’re right, Caleb. There’s barely any room for us. You need to make the couch in here bigger next time you bring up the tower.” Jester chastises, poking at his side in light, random patterns. “There’s not enough room for everyone.”
Caleb whimpers into his bicep through laughter.
“I have an idea..” Fjord grins, transferring Caleb’s wrists to one hand and reaching down with the other to squeeze and tickle at both his and Jester’s sides below.
Caleb cackles with a renewed desperation, while Jester cries out. “Hehehee- hey! Hah-” She gasps in fake offense before breaking into giggles.
“Let’s move ‘im to the bed.” Fjord finishes his thought with a few pokes under Caleb’s arm.
“Mmmf— nooooo heh—” Caleb protests weakly, his face tingling with a happy, giddy silliness —sweet and warm under his skin like fresh honey.
Fjord releases his wrists and reaches down with both hands, and —easily besting the now flailing arms— hooks his hands underneath Caleb’s shoulders and around to his armpits. He lifts up. Caleb squeals. Fjord wiggles his fingers a bit. Caleb makes some kind of choked laugh.
Then Caleb is shaking his head more fervently as Beau reaches to lift him under his knees. Mollymauk releases his ankles with a grin.
“Bitte, you-you’ve had your fun! Y-you’re killing me! Mercy!” Caleb pleads, his eyes wide as Beau and Fjord make quick work of lifting him up.
He scrambles for any sort of anchor or purchase —a steady moore out in the sea of giddiness and laughter he’s found himself caught and floating in.
“Hey!” Almost on cue, a familiar sensation of Jester’s claws make their reappearance on his sides. “That’s mine! Give him back!” She scolds.
“NAHA— ehehehee, don’t!” Caleb can’t stop himself from squirming and flinching away as Jester’s fingers prod and tickle at the wizard above her.
She snickers, delighted, and her fingers follow along for as long as she can reach him. Noticing this, Fjord and Beau seem to take an extra long time moving him up and away from the couch —and out of tiefling range —over to the bed.
Finally, he’s out of Jester’s range. His breath comes in shakily as they deposit him gently on his mattress. He’s red-faced, tears welling up in his eyes with a few running messily down his cheeks. His eyes are squeezed shut to hide from the scrutiny and knowing smiles of his companions above.
“Hee- oh nohoho—” Caleb whimpers with a smile. He reaches up with a shaky hand and grips one of his pillows, dragging it down over his head to shove his burning face into.
“Aww, Caleb! Are you hiding from us?” Jester’s voice alone draws an extra giggle from him behind his pillow.
Caleb shakes his head behind the pillow.
“Come onnnnn, where’s that smile?” The mattress sinks as she climbs onto it near him.
“Nooooooo..” Caleb whimpers, wrapping both arms around the pillow and smushing it tighter against his face. It doesn’t do much to muffle his anticipatory laughter.
“What do you mean ‘no’?” Jester scoffs. “Do you know who you’re talking to?”
Caleb’s legs kick at that, drumming against the bed as it dips a few more times —Molly and Veth, he concludes, since Jester is already looming next to him and Fjord and Beau still have hands on his shoulders and knees.
“Alright, come on, let’s get him already!” Beau declares impatiently.
“Ah, I love the spirit, Beauregard, but it can be so much fun to drag it out —build him up, topple him over…” Molly traces a delicate nail down Caleb’s chest. Caleb shivers deliciously. The claw lifts away.
Jester snickers. “We already tickled him like soooo much on the couch, Molly, he’s already all mush-brain. Come on!”
“Oh alright —you’re right, you’re right.” Molly shrugs, crawling his way up to Caleb’s other side.
Caleb wails into the pillow when two sets of tiefling claws touch down gently over his midriff with purpose, leaving teasing trails down his sides and over his stomach and lowest ribs. “Mmpppph- n- nahaha- oh nohohoho— eheh oh dohohohon’t! Bitte! Mmmf-aha ahahaha! Please— please!”
Fjord leans down, taking Caleb’s hands with ease into his own and pulling them up over his head. He adjusts, laying on the bed while keeping Caleb’s arms trapped against the mattress. He shifts the pillow over and off of him so that he can get in close to Caleb’s pink face, then nuzzles into the side of his hair.
“Mmm. It’s too bad I can’t use my hands.”
Caleb feels some quiet relief at that. Maybe a little disappointment too, but he doesn’t have the wherewithal to focus on that.
Still, some sliver of Caleb’s mind registers the rumbling chuckle Fjord gives as dangerous as he continues. “—I guess I’ll have to improvise, then.”
Caleb’s voice catches in his throat as Fjord’s words take on meaning just in time for lips and scruff to brush right up against Caleb’s ear.
“Eeheehee- ah! Yeehehehee- you— aha- no NO plehease!”
“Aww, he’s soooooo cute!” Jester squeaks with a few pinches to his ribs.
Caleb jolts under them with a whine. “Ha- aha I- noooo— I’m —ahahaha I’m not!”
“Yes! Yes you are!” She pinches his cheek just as Fjord sucks in a breath. Helpful little Kitzelmonster she is, Jester brushes Caleb’s hair away from the side of his neck.
“Nein!” Caleb cries as the breath comes out as a vibrating, ticklish, raspberry on his neck.
Caleb is soon lost to cackling laughter as Molly and Jester prod and tickle at his middle while Fjord mouths along his neck and ear. And it isn’t too long before he registers two sets of blunt nails —Beau and Veth, his mind helpfully provides— that have touched down on his feet. He doesn’t even try to kick beyond the instinctive flinching away —he knows he’s not going anywhere.
The feeling— a mindless bliss not unlike that of an evening spent polymorphed —builds slowly. But, soon enough, Caleb’s mind feels light, unbothered and untethered, as his thoughts swirl and spark with the ticklish input from what seemed like every nerve. There is a… a warmth that accompanies it, one that Caleb comfortably slips into with a strange familiarity as though it is where he had always belonged.
Jester’s voice cuts through the sound of Caleb’s laughter as she begins her sending spell. “Hey, Yasha? Are you with Caduceus—” Fjord briefly gets a panicked look in his eye as she starts, jerking his head back and realizing he can’t count her words out as easily. He taps his fingers into the skin of Caleb’s wrists one at a time in counting as she continues, “you guys should come up to Caleb’s room, we’re having a lot of fun! Hurry up you don’t wanna—”
Caleb feels Fjord’s fingers wiggle individually against the thin skin of his arms. They aren’t the only ones —all in all, he registers Jester’s fingers fluttering around under his arm and pinching at his lower ribs with her other hand, Molly’s claws spidering menacingly over his belly, Beau’s arm tight around his ankles, her fingers pulling back his big toes while Veth wiggles her nails all over his feet. His mind feels dizzy and fizzling —some kind of gelatinous consistency, perhaps.
One of Caleb’s last coherent thoughts is that it was at least a mercy (or… was it a tragedy?) that this hadn’t happened in Beau’s room, where he could have ended up having to watch this giggling, disheveled vision of himself taken apart in the mirror over her bed by his friends.
As it is, he simply closes his eyes and lets himself be lost, swimming safely in the sea of hands poking at him from every direction.
…
Zemnian (German) | English Translations:
von - from
bitte - please
nein - no
der Struwwelpeter - the ‘shock-haired’ Peter (book)
lustige Geschichten - funny/amusing stories
drollige Bilder - funny pictures
Scheiße - shit
Mist - crap/shit
das Kitzelmonster - the tickle monster
guten Abend - good evening
Mm yeah ..and I’m just going…to include these…
kitzeln - tickle (verb)
kitzlig / kitzelig - ticklish
das Kitzel/n - the tickle / the tickling (noun)
…
ADDITIONAL AUTHORS NOTES:
A/N: And now friends and readers who are still here, if you look to your…down — what you’ll see are some fun notes I did and things I learned while researching things for this story — also side note — it’s been about 10 years since, but I took 5 years of German from middle to high school, I’m not by any means fluent but I remember decent enough (and I had the power of the internet and search engines on my side)!!:
ANYWAY — I wanted to figure out some strange quirky little Deutsch storybook that I could have Caleb have in his library, something with a catchy (see also: silly) cover or title that would draw Jester’s eye..
Found this very quickly with a search for German children’s stories. <— yeah, my silly little lee brain was like “lol those nails” immediately — had to use.
Fic title was inspired from the book cover and title / description
Link to the book on Amazon 😆
Did a decent amount of skimming and looking over, I was immediately thinking German fairy tale / kids story, and they’re usually kind of brutal in Germany.
Did cross my mind to use der Katzenprinz or not go into as much detail on the book, or have her try to convince him to read Tusk Love… 😏 😈
Oh great! (affectionate) now am I gonna have to write that? (compulsive)
Yes!
I was conflicted on which translation to use to refer to Jester in ‘Zemnian’. I saw Hoffnar (court jester, king’s fool) , Narr/Närrin (fool, jester, joker), and Spaßmacher (joker, jester, clown) but literal translation of this one is fun-maker which I feel fits Jester very well. She makes fun, is fun, joke, jests, and is all around silly and teasy the whole fic so. Yes bby girl. In the end I ended up scrapping this longer title but it was essentially gonna be "Lustige Geschichten von der Spamacherin" but twas shortened.
Moving on from the language and literature … the em..um… erm.. position was inspired from this lovely video (also recently found out she’s very happily lee and I’m like YES GIRL. ITS SO MUCH MORE DJFJFJJG TO SEE AND KNOW THEY LOVE/HATE/LOVE IT hsjsjdkf. Truly inspiring. What good friends. Caleb deserves to be in her position.
List of some of the lovely prompts / ideas that inspired parts of the story - original prompts in green:
Critical Role c2
1. Caleb & anyone
2. Fjord & Jester
3. Caleb & Fjord
4. Essek & anyone
5. Any combo of the mighty nein you’d like
me: yess. yes. now that I’m making this I realize Essek isn’t there. (Neither are cad or yasha, they’re… meditating and drinking tea). Essek needs to have a turn helping them melt Caleb.
A has noticed that B is acting much sadder & moody than usual, little do they know that B is hamming it up in the hope of getting cheer up tickles. Whether the beans are spilled or not is up to you ;) (by beans I mean the fact they were trying to fake it)
me: I had a few ideas from various prompts floating around in my mind but also sometimes these fics just flow out of my brain — they go where they decide they’re gonna go! I’m sure you know! Anywho, it doesn’t exactly go into sad and moody but stoic and boring and drawing the silliness out of them.
We love a good flustered blushing silly Caleb, we also love a stubborn little journey to get there while slowly losing his composure.
I feel that Caleb knew what would happen as soon as Jester
a. sat on the couch with him
b. picked out the book
c. asked him to read to her, or
d. pranced into the room.
But either way he was #ready to be silly as soon as she came in - some serious #leebehavior immediately winding her up
A has really ticklish calves & B finds out while pinning them to tickle their feet, & they immediately switch targets
me: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR OUR VERY OWN BEAUREGARD LIONETT PLEASE!!!
TICKLISH CALVES! TICKLISH LEGS! AHH!
I love this so much fr fr fr fr
See, but…. What if you have multiple friends and multiple hands… :D
A has been trying to get B’s attention when it becomes clear they’re deliberately being ignored.
me: love this trope so much
Caleb’s brain: I MUST ANTAGONIZE JESTER IMMEDIATELY. BUT SWEETLY.
Caleb’s brain: tells Jester how to say ‘tickle’ in his native tongue
Caleb’s brain a few min later: in turmoil over why he makes it soooooo much worse for himself — well for a few more minutes until he gets all wobbly and brain-buzzy
A either has something B wants or won’t do their job & need some convincing in the form of B’s tickling fingers
me: inner Jester monologue ‘Come on Caleb. Read the book. Read it. Do a silly voice. Read while I poke at your ribs. I don’t mind if you laugh. Come on keep trying. Okay I guess Fjord and I are just gonna drop the playful ruse. But you’re finishing that book for me later.’
Final Author's Note —
I hope this holiday gift pleases you, my dear @amazingmsme! Happiest Squealing Santa to Thee! 2023! I’m so happy I got you for the exchange and I hope you have a wonderful holiday season and new year!!!!!!!!!!
#amazingmsme#squealing santa 2k23#ss2k23#critickle role#lee!caleb#I HOPE YOU LIKE IT PLS ENJOY#IT WAS A BLAST TO WRITE AND TO SEND YOU LITTLE SNIPPETS THROUGH THE DAYS LEADING UP TO CHRISTMAS#I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY#ticklish!caleb#gives me life#tickle fic#tickling#mine#critical role#fluff#funny stories#ler!jester#ler!mollymauk#ler!fjord#ler!beauregard#ler!veth#poor bb caleb#its ok he has fun#mage hand tickles#tickles#teasing#story time#lustige Geschichten#cr#cr fic
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I genuinely love Callopea and I hope that it goes fully canon.
Not because a ship has to go “fully canon” to be legitimate, or to be enjoyed by the fandom, but because I think the dynamic between Fearne and Chetney is so different from the vast majority of ships that we’ve seen on Critical Role so far.
Because the thing is, I feel like a lot of the fandom kind of sees Callopea as a joke? And not just goofy or lighthearted, but kind of mean-spirited. Like, the idea that this could ever be a “legitimate” ship or that it has any meaning to it is laughable. (This is also kind of reflected in fanworks, since there’s basically no art of them, and there’s like... two people making gifs. In comparison to pairings like Imodna or Dorym which, while I do also ship, there is arguably less concrete evidence of in canon at this point in time).
Which I don’t think is true! I think there’s a lot of depth to both Chetney and Fearne, despite being largely comedic characters, and I think there’s also a lot of potential depth to their relationship, despite it being largely played for laughs.
Take Chetney, for example. I think the depth of his character is best summed up with this quote from The Night Before Critmas (and yes, I know that was Chutney, but he was the basis for the character):
“He told me to make Voltron out of wood. No one wanted it. He told me to make a Game Boy. I can't do circuits. He told me to make the little trolls, but the hair didn't move.”
Again, yes it’s comedic, but the core idea of the character was here – because Chetney/Chutney isn’t just talking about toys. He’s talking about himself. A huge part of this character is dealing with the feeling of obsolescence, of the world moving on without you and you not being needed anymore. That same idea also shows up with Bertrand at the beginning of the campaign, and I don’t think that’s an accident, and I don’t think Travis is doing that just for the joke.
Growing older can be scary. Feeling like you’re out of touch with the world, or that you aren’t needed anymore, or that you just don’t understand things anymore – that’s scary. In a way, it feels like parts of the fandom treat a character being old as a punchline – it sometimes feels like the very idea of a character being elderly, and an elderly character wanting some form of intimate relationship in particular, is worthy of mockery.
I’m sure we’ve all seen commercials or interviews or something that contain some variation on “as we age, our need for intimacy does not diminish”. Yes, Chetney has flyaway white hair and wrinkles and a squeaky old voice and a hat he’s almost laughably attached to and goofy curly toed boots, and he is still deserving of love, and that isn’t a joke. Not that that love needs to be romantic love, necessarily, but love nonetheless.
And I think that it makes perfect sense that Fearne would be the one to recognize that! For one thing, she’s the only one in Bell’s Hells that is anywhere near his age (though there is still a noticeable gap, but who knows how the fuck time works in the Feywild anyways). For another, with her wildshaping and his werewolf transformation, the two of them are the only ones in the group that understand that idea of letting animalistic instinct take over, of the freedom of being wild, and also the occasional lack of control or fear that can come with it. Not to mention both of their… impulsive morals.
But there’s two more ways I feel that these two connect, which are even deeper than what I previously mentioned – one of which I only realized after this most recent episode.
The first is related to this wonderful bit of meta from @captainofthetidesbreath, which I’m not going to reiterate here because a) you should go give them some love, and b) because this is long enough as it is. But to sum it up, Chetney is a toymaker, and takes great pride in that. He takes great joy in seeing other people, especially children, finding joy in what he’s crafted. Out of everyone in Bell’s Hells, I feel that Fearne is the only one who would truly appreciate that. Just look at what he’s made for everybody else – a box, which isn’t a toy. A skyship, which was immediately left behind for a child who would actually play with it and appreciate it. A wooden hand? And a house for Pâté and Sashimi, which is kind of a toy and kind of being played with, but also kind of not.
Fearne, on the other hand, has always had a certain whimsy about her. She enjoys the frivolous, she appreciates the silly, and she makes it a point to collect and steal and have things, simply because they make her happy. That, to me, is closest to the heart of why Chetney is a toymaker in the first place.
The second was something that Fearne said in episode 25. When Dusk showed her the locket that contained the portraits of her parents and that whole conversation started up, Fearne said”
“I don’t know where they are, and I’ve been looking for them, but maybe they just forgot? ‘Cause it’s been a very long time since I’ve seen them.”
I’m very curious as to whether this is a thought that she’s had before during her search for her parents – or if this will continue to weigh on her now that she has thought of it, at least until she’s able to reunite with them.
Because I feel like this ties in with the idea I mentioned above of Chetney feeling obsolete now that he’s gotten older. I could see a real and genuine heart-to-heart happening between them over this. I also wonder – Chetney’s never mentioned any family; no parents, no siblings, and most importantly for this Callopea ship manifesto (apparently), no spouse(s) or children. I get the sense from both of them of just… getting used to being alone and being lonely. That they are genuinely lighthearted and humorous individuals, but that humour does still help to hide some heavier feelings.
CHANGING TOPICS ENTIRELY, I also want to touch on something else that might seem completely counter to everything I’ve written here so far, and that is that this ship doesn’t need to be deep! They don’t need to have a “You know I’m in love with you, right?” or a “My heart belongs to someone else” or a “You were not born with venom in your veins”, etc etc etc.
A ship doesn’t need to be deep and intense and Romantic-with-a-capital-R to be real and genuine and enjoyable! It can be as simple and light and fun as just two people being attracted to each other and having fun exploring that attraction. Hell, their relationship doesn’t even need to be romantic! I’ve seen people headcanon Fearne as arospec, and I love the idea of a non-romantic but still sexual relationship being explored, and not being treated as lesser because of that.
Hell, they could still end up as a romantic relationship, but start out here, with heavy-handed flirting and overt sexual overtones, and see their relationship as fun but ultimately not particularly meaningful, but then *intense and emotionally-heavy moment later in the campaign happens, especially if one of them nearly dies or does die and is brought back*, and then they realize Oh shit, this isn’t just for funsies, I’ve got real actual romantic feelings for them and I’d be miserable if they were gone. Oh fuck.
And that’s not even touching on the wolf/deer theme they’ve got going on, or the sun/moon vibes that they’re rocking, etc.
Basically there’s just… SO much potential for Callopea, guys. I can’t wait to see where it goes.
#sorry if this is rambling I wrote it at 4 in the morning and then queued it up for several days later#kc speaks#Critical Role#meta#CR 3#Chetney Pock O'Pea#Fearne Calloway#Callopea
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I love the success critical role is having, I feel like they are reaching for the skies and going for the big guns and I couldn't be happier and prouder to be a critter along the ride. However, I just wanted a moment to mourn the times they would do dance videos, critmas openings, personal videos. Unfortunately for me... i wasn't a critter at that really early stages (life regrets). But watching some of those videos, when they are talking about their "meth lab yards" (Marisha), or talking about finally getting a storage place for their stuff (Laura) it makes me alittle sad. It's the strangest feeling to want success for them so so much but also fear it. The fact that us critters used to be able to send them things that we would get chances to see them actually open them, read the things we wrote them. It was so personal. I think that's why the critical role community is so differnt to most, because of how long and involved we have all been able to be but now with their growing fame they seem to be getting further and further away and it just makes me miss the days they were able to do all of those extra personal little content.
I love you critical role, I will be a critter to the end. I hope to meet you guys one day even if its stood in a croud of thousands <3
#critical role#critters#old days#laura bailey#marisha ray#matt mercer#travis willingham#sam riegal#liam o'brien#ashley johnson
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Scanlan wakes up alone in his bed. While this would have been unusual at one point in his life, it’s not now. He and Pike are taking things slow, and it has been going well, so he isn’t going to mess that up for anything.
After getting dressed, he takes a walk down to the beach. He’s surprised to find Vex sitting on the sand with her toes in the water. He’s about to turn around, but then she laughs.
“There’s room here for two, Scanlan.”
“I don’t want to disturb you.”
“You aren’t disturbing me.”
He joins her by the water, the sound of the crashing waves is a song in his ears. “Where are your daughter and your husband?”
“Cassandra is watching Vesper, and the last time I saw Percy, he was getting some breakfast. I just wanted to come down here for a bit since I didn’t get to enjoy it much yesterday.”
“Yeah, yesterday was a lot.”
“It was.”
A moment of silence passes, and it’s not awkward or tense, just two friends sharing time.
“Did you know that Vax played a prank on me the last time we were here?” It’s not what he expected her to say after dying. Then he feels guilty because he is the last person who should make assumptions about how Vex felt after she died.
“That sounds just like him,” he says with a smile.
“I was so angry at him; now I wish I hadn’t been.”
He shrugs. “Family fights.”
“I know, but I wasted precious time, and I don’t want to do that anymore. I guess what I’m trying to say is thank you. Thank you so much for everything you did yesterday.”
“You’re welcome.”
She picks up a seashell from the sand and holds it toward him. “These are pretty. Pike was sad she didn’t get more of them last time.”
As he collects more of the shells, Vex tries to splash him and only gets him wet once. Then, after he’s got a handful, he says his goodbyes and leaves her alone with her thoughts. When he starts walking back up the path, he is not surprised to see Percy coming toward him.
“Morning, Percy.”
“Good morning, Scanlan. How did you sleep?”
“I never kiss and tell,” Scanlan grins.
“That would be a first.”
“Well, new leaf and all that.” When Percy smirks, Scanlan bristles a little. “What?”
“Nothing,” Percy says. “Scanlan, thank you for walking Vex down the aisle yesterday. I know she appreciated it.”
“She asked me to, and honestly, I liked giving a big fuck you to her dad even if he wasn’t there to see it.”
“I don’t blame you for that. He is an asshole,” Percy pauses briefly, readjusting his glasses on his nose. “By the way, I’ve been curious about something.”
“What’s that?”
“You used your last wish to bring Vax to the wedding, didn’t you?”
“I did. It was worth it, though.”
“Scanlan,” Percy sighs, “I was very angry at you for a long time. I tend to hold grudges.”
"Really? I never would've guessed."
Percy smiles begrudgingly and says, “However, I’ve come to understand why you left. It was the right decision.”
“It was. Kaylie gave me shit when I needed it, and even though it wasn’t always easy, it was good.”
“Yes, family is important.”
“It is. You never know when you might lose it, which is all the more reason to treasure it,” Scanlan says, and he knows he hits his mark because Percy fidgets under his gaze.
“You are quite right. That is very astute, Scanlan.”
“It happens occasionally. Well, I’m going back. See you later, Percy.”
-
for @piratespencil and our critmas exchange :) I hope you liked it a little, friend! <3
#katie writes things#cr1#cr spoilers#i hope you like it at least a little#this is my real first time attempting scanlan's POV so i hope it's not too awful! <3#i'm just gonna stop lookin at this lol#gift exchange fic
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Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 81
Merry Critmas guys!
Another Meta Quest promo? Oh boy ... so this one will get weird again, clearly ... a magical year, really? Yeah, the editors are indeed fucking with you, Sam. XD Ah, highlights! Lovely ...
That's right, it IS Asgard, Samuel. NOT Ass-Gard ...
"Ass-Matt?" "Cominics?" Hmmm ...
Dani Carr! Hiiiiiii!!! Always so great to see you, sweetie! :3
Matt still can't quite get past their shenanigans, can he? At least they're consistent. XD
Yeah! That's right! Fearne and Ashton are full blown SUPERHEROES now!
Sam's shirt derails the game almost IMMEDIATELY ...
Oh shit, yeah ... that's a good point actually ... ARE THEY the same people now?
Well yeah, I mean Laudna does seem a lot more upbeat now, doesn't she? That's surely a good sign.
Chetney really does want to make a wish with Nana? Oh yes, good, they're doing the best they can to talk him out of it ... oh, now it's just getting surreal ... oh boy ...
Ah yes, the ill fated topiary garden ... O.O
Fearne (to Ashton): "Shall we see if we can make some lava?" Oh gods ...
Ashton is Raging, while Fearne shoots a Scorching Ray at him? Bloody hell ...
So ... they're like RIDICULOUSLY supercharged when they're together? Oh, MORE playing around? How crazy is this gonna get?
And now Ashton is IN THE GROUND ... oh, so he can just pop up anywhere he wants? Cool ...
Fearne is a Satyr version of the Human Torch? Pretty sweet ...
Ah, so he can't actually run through plant life, only stone ... that's interesting ... what, they're going to the ruin to see how deep Ashton can go? Hmmmm ...
Well no, he really SHOULDN'T be able to actually BREATHE through rock, should he?
Phasing like Kitty Pryde? Oh, that would be cool ... oh wow, that is SO AWESOME ...
Don't wipe yourself out for days, Fearne. Not right now ...
Oh yes, Fearne is FLOATING ... Wow ... that's ALSO very handy ... running and trying to set fire to the ground at the same time ... yay, scorched track marks ... I love that ...
Now we're seeing if he can use her spell along with the hammer ... okay ...
Whoa ... DOUBLE the damage? That is EXTRA sweet ... oh, and dhe is COMPLETELY IMMUNE to fire damage now? Extra cool ...
Ashton tries to shut down the effect ... uncut diamond form? Wow ... that's weird in a really striking way ...
He feels weird? Hmmm ... oh, here we go ... back to his normal physical form? Interesting ... but the idea that he's so used to the chronic pain that he's actually RELIEVED to get it back? I really don't think I like that ...
What fresh hell have you brought with THIS week's flask, Samuel?
Fearne: "We'll just have to accept our greatness." Ashton: "I'll accept YOUR greatness." Awwwww ... :3
Oh wow ... are they FLIRTING again? I don't mind that at all ...
And Fearne goes back to normal again too ... but not ENTIRELY ... which is cool ...
IS HE going to do the wish thing? Are you sure, Chet? Oh gods, he's really doing it ...
Oh that is just so creepy ...
Name the door ... oh boy ... Artax? What? Oh boy ... Push-Pull? Sir Push-Pull? Oh boy again ...
And now it's ASKING to be named Sir Push-Pull ... ye gods ... and Morri's all right with this ... wow ...
And here she is ... unsettling as ever ... hmmmm ...
Oh, so those poor buggers tried to RENEGE on their deals? That's ... interesting ... in a really horrible way ... oh, and now he's asking ...
Is this like some kind of pocket dimension for her to make deals in?
He wants to be the most famous toy maker in the whole world ... wow ... oh, what's he going to trade? Hmmmmm ... she wants a piece of the God Eater? A piece if Predathos ... that's actually not bad ...
The Golden Threads of Fate ... so cool to see that come back ... O.O
He's keeping it to himself, playing it cool ...
The Witch In the Woods ... oh yeah, like the Monkey's Paw, that's right ...
And now they're just teasing him about it. I live this so much ... Fearne is being especially cruel about it ... yup ... XD
Allura does not want to have anything to do with this foolishness and I do not blame her at all ...
Time for bed before they have to go to the Moon ...
FCG's been cooking? H'wine rolls? What the sweet fuck is this craziness ... a Hero's Yeast? Dear gods ...
Oh, so Mister and Pate can get in on this action too? That's pretty cool ...
Yeah, the Hero's Feast is always such a cool booster thing ...
Imogen's going to try that dream thing? Oh boy ... so who's going in with her? Everybody except Chetney and Fearne ... okay ...
Yet again, Travis rolls to see if Chetney DIES IN HIS SLEEP ...
Into Imogen's dream, then ... taking the Bloody Bridge, up to Ruidus ... oh, it's all very Stargate all of a sudden ...
Ruidus, then ... here we go ... and the studio lighting changes ... I really do hate that ...
Touchdown ... okay ... eye of the storm, now ... hmmmm ...
"Bring me home." Oh boy ... Imogen gives in ... it pulls her in ... oh, this is rightly terrifying already ... this is suddenly looking like a really BAD IDEA ...
Caverns? Some kind of labyrinthine tunnel network inside the Moon ... hmmmm ...
Wait ... the others wake up ... but Imogen DOESN'T?!!! Oh fuck ...
Fuck, is she trapped? What the fuck is HAPPENING?!!!
Oh thank the gods she's back ... is she okay?
Orym tries to get a read? Another big Insight roll ... LAURA gives Liam a Whispers? Crazy ...
Laudna is worried and rightly so ... this DOES NOT feel right at all. I am suddenly EXTREMELY uncomfortable about all of this. Could this come back to bite us in a really bad way later?
Brumestone? Hmmmmm ...
Oh yes, this IS going to be a problem, clearly ...
Yes, keep an eye on her while you're sleeping please, Laudna ...
Time for bed. A Long Rest ...
Orym goes to visit Nana Morri in the night? SERIOUSLY?!!!
Oh, that is disconcerting that she can sneak up on him ...
Fuck, is he REALLY going to make a deal with her too? Come on, Wee Man ...
Well he's doing this for his friends, maybe that's going to be enough to protect him in this ... but WOULD SHE actually take him up on this? Oh fuck, she really is ... Orym, come on ...
Fuck ... he's willing to offer himself up to HER service if she sees them through? Fuck ... I hate this already ... a "caretaker"? Jeez ...
If every one of them makes it back and they see it through ... very specific terms, at least ... fuck ... at least it's very dependent on their success ... shit, snd that's it, then ...
Gods damn it, Liam O'brien, making clandestine deals with dark entities again for the sake of his friends ... how much worse than Vax is this gonna be?
Time for a break ... gods ...
Matt: "Ten years nearly, I've had to put up with you guys." XD
Morning comes ... time to go, then ...
Ah, the creepy Fey Menagerie returns ... as unsettling as ever ...
Food? Okay ... Birdie and Ollie are cooking? Well that's a relief ... a nice pleasant breakfast ... and now here's Nana ... hmmmm ...
She has something special for FCG? Hmmmm ... a weird sphere of something ... IS IT food for him? Okay, he's giving it a go ... so it's just fine silver ... and he burps ... with SCREAMS ... fucking horrifying ... LOL
Wow, so Fearne is now the hot new thing in town? That's pretty cool ...
Allura, still as creeped out by Morri as ever ... XD
So heading to meet their allies in the Hellcatch Valley ... okay, then ... so they're making the move ...
Fearne says goodbye to her parents. And they are just SO PROUD of her, aren't they? :3
Working the spell, then ... WHOOSH!!! Time all but freezes ... oh, and that was CHAOTIC ... but they're finally back in Exandria. Right on target ...
Yup, the Red Moon still dominates the sky. Lovely.
Chetney's still slow for a minute ... Laudna: "You made his voice all sexy there." XD
Wow, this is a WHOLE LOT of people who've gathered here to help fight ... and they're all pretty tense about it, too. That's just great ...
Some kind of purpose made citadel "grown" specifically for this effort? That's pretty cool ...
These all look like some pretty interesting folk ... the Council of Tal'dorei? Interesting ...
Whoa ... BIG guy ... seriously BUFF old dude ... fascinating ... the Stormlord? Interesting ...
Oh, so they've been expected? Hmmm ...
Mythtaker Qi Mandozi? Cool.
Guardian Tofor Bretoris? Okay.
EARTHBREAKER GROON?!!! FOR REAL?!!! AWESOME!!!
"Mercenaries ... we get shit done."
Oooh ... is this some kind of fancy honour guard?
Earthbreaker Groon is clearly fascinated by Imogen and Fearne, but in a strange disapproving way, kind of? Interesting ...
Percy! Hey! And Keyleth! Yay!
Ah yes ... the timey wimey weirdness of the Fey Realm ...
Ah ... your typical war briefing, then ...
Butcher Wagons? Hmmm ... so very charming ... a nice gory diversion ...
Ten to thirty minutes to infiltrate? So ... not a MASSIVE window, then ...
Ah yeah ... the Reilora ...
Percy needs a little more time ... of course he does ... but then they do need setup time ...
No witnesses? Crap ... that is NOT a good ultimatum at all ...
So there is SOME flexibility, but still ... it's disconcerting all the same ...
Oh yeah, the Ruby Vanguard disguises ...
What are they looking for? What is the intelligence they need to gather?
Fearne questions Earthbreaker Groon ... oh, here we go ... he knows they're Ruidusborn ... oh, this is a sticky thing here? Chill out, guys ...
Oh yeah, these two witches be something special ...
Groon: "You are of the Storm, are you not?" Imogen: "I AM the Storm, baby."
Of course Keyleth still has utmost faith in them all, and Orym especially. :3
Qi likes FCG because he's funny. I like that. XD
A safe word for Imogen? In case the pull becomes too much? Probably a good idea ...
Fearne: "We're just the tip, guys. Just thd tip if the spear." Ashton: "Yeah, that's the safe word."
Laudna goes to talk to Keyleth. "You're very pretty." XD
Oh yes ... Vax. That's right ... she's covering, but yeah, that's at the core of it for her ...
His energy is being used specifically to power the bridge ... yeah ...
Keyleth: "I'm sorry." Laudna: "For what?" Keyleth: "For everything." Oh man ...
Telepathic Bond? Oh yeah ... that should be helpful ...
All right ... so it's time, then ... setting up for the distraction ...
Earthbreaker Groon wants to talk to Imogen ... oh no, THE STORMLORD wants to talk to her ... that wasn't, like, foreboding at all ...
Time to go ... everybody's ready ... and it sll hoes OFF ... the Butcher Wagons are rolling ... Allura gives the nod ... cue gibberish words as Imogen uses one of the Scrolls ...
And now they're just living clouds ... lovely ...
Coasting in over the Site now, approaching the Malleus Key ...
Crazy beasts on the attack in front of the Wagons ... oh, that's pretty slick ...
Touchdown on target ... okay ... Keyleth prepares their stormy cover ... Nice ... Voice of the Tempest indeed!
Oh yeah, Kiki you are AWESOME!!!
They put on their disguises, Fearne casts Pass Without A Trace, and FCG puts a Death Ward on Imogen.
Time to head in, then ... they make their way down and into the Storm ... Orym's leading the way ... no, Fearne ... maybe the better choice in this ...
Group Stealth Check with Advantage ... yup, BOSS rolls all round ...
Oh it is all just KICKING OFF right now ...
Aaaaaaaaaaah! Reilorans! Oh boy ...
CHAOS!!! IT'S A TOTAL MESS OUT HERE!!! And now the first Wagon bursts ...
They make their way in ... and Matt calls it a night!
Oh, visual preview of what's to come? Ooooh ... yay, Battlemap! Sweet ...
We'll see next session ... in the New Year ... roll on 2024 ...
#critical role#crit role spoilers#campaign 3 spoilers#crit role campaign 3#campaign 3 episode 81#matt mercer#marisha ray#laudna#travis willingham#chetney pock o'pea#laura bailey#imogen temult#liam o'brien#orym of the air ashari#ashley johnson#fearne calloway#taliesin jaffe#ashton greymoore#sam riegel#fresh cut grass
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it critmas
i wanted to give out thanks to everybuddy for teh holidays
@shiny-self-shipping for reminding me to not compare my selfship blog to others'
@razzberrypopcans for all the commissions i paid for in the last month
@cupiidzbow for his enthusiastic interactions and wholesome support he showed when i told him a bit about my selfships when i asked for a commission
@bonbunnydreams for continuing to be my best fwiend after these past few years, and for supporting me as much as ive supported her
and everybuddy else for liking/reblogging my content and even following my blog (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ
the past few months when ive returned to tumblr would not have felt so welcoming without all of you
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Ok after all those posts you got me curious, where can I watch critrole? And do you recommend that I watch other campaigns first?
critrole is all on youtube!! it streams on twitch *and* youtube on thursdays at 7. vods are uploaded on mondays. MOST campaigns are independent but do take place in the same world, so depending on where you start there may be a little confusion.
if you only want to watch exandria unlimited: calamity, aka the miniseries that concluded tonight, i suggest you watch the history of exandria video just to get a basic sense of lore.
for both of the main, finished campaigns, 1 and 2 respectively, you can watch either one on its own. my personal favorite is campaign 1, vox machina, but a majority of fans have only seen campaign 2, the mighty nein. the third campaign, bell's hells, is currently in progress and is also available, but features major lore from the vox machina campaign.
if you want to start with campaign 1, vox machina, watch this and this to get a good grasp on the story and characters, because this stream begins in an already-begun campaign! if you want to skip until, uh, a certain cast member isn't there anymore... start at episode 24 :). otherwise here's the full playlist!
campaign 2, the mighty nein, is much easier to start, which inevitably led to more fans only having seen this one lol. if you want to start here, here's the full playlist!
campaign 3, bell's hells, is the one that you'd be handy going into with some knowledge of campaign 1 (and the night before critmas one-shot LOL), but nevertheless is like... 85% accessible to new viewers. here's the full playlist!
there are plenty of other random one-shots and the like that i haven't linked but are all on the critical role youtube channel. i honestly just recommend seeing what piques your interest and going from there :)
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Critical Role Speculation
Okay. Things have escalated quite rapidly for Team B, and I've been puzzled for a bit as to just what could be going on here. Because Team B just joined with a bunch of worshipers of the Primordial Titans (or at least that is the general feel I have of them) to kick out a bunch of worshipers of the Dawnfather who, admittedly, are acting like a bunch of colonialist dicks.
(As an aside, I now know why Aabria was tossed in with Team A, as having a priestess of the Dawnfather showing up and finding fault with her own faith... well... um... that would be a most interesting tale and honestly it would deserve its own campaign rather than seven episodes.)
The thing is... this is Day 2. At this point, Team A has not even reached Uthodurn yet. In fact, given that Team B is on the other side of the freaking planet, Team B might be closer to Day 1.5 - so Chetney hasn't even nommed on FRIDA yet.
It will be ten days before Team B catches up to Team A's point in the timeline. And while they have a means of scrying on Team A, they will be unable to reach them and we know this because Team A never encountered Team B.
That said, the Village Elder offered to help... if they were also helped in turn. First comes removing the Church from their village. But the village also lost a dozen people to the Solstice Snarl (as it was so aptly described). So... might our group not end up being sent to retrieve some of the missing townsfolk? And might this endeavor end up taking a bit of time?
We have four different groups wanting to go to different areas. Deni$e wants to go home to confront Dariax. Bor'dor wants to check on his ill brother. Prism... well, honestly I'm not sure what Prism would want to do, she could return to the Cobalt Soul with a report on her findings, or possibly go with Team B to confront Ludinus De'leth (and honestly, the thought of Emily joining Critical Role for their confrontation with Ludinus amuses me to no end). And of course, Team B wants to return to be with their friends.
So honestly... it sounds to me like we're going to have four favors owed... and those favors will likely be earned by going off to rescue some of the townsfolk. And can we honestly say that any of these six people would say "no" to these people in their times of need? (I mean, one is a 10-year-old girl.)
The thing is... a Fetch Quest seems a bit anticlimactic. Team A went and saved a magical bull, Critmas, and got some juicy dirt on Ludinus and his long-term plans. Team B is going to save a bunch of villagers? And that even assumes that the village Elder can use that tree teleporting spell (and not all of the villagers would be near trees - one is in the middle of the freaking ocean (and probably dead by now) after all).
Another possibility is that there is magic that can send them to where they need to go... but they need to retrieve it for the village Elder (and that assumes said Elder doesn't stab them all in the backs after they are done with the Dawnfather's missionaries).
There is one last possibility, and this is the oddest one at that. Perhaps when teleporting, either Team A or Team B ends up in one of those Solstice Snarls and ends up either cast forward or backward in time so they all end up in the same place at the same time. But unless our group is going to have to travel for a week deep underground to where an imprisoned Primordial Titan lay, I kind of doubt there's an easy way for Matt to fix the two timelines... which is why you shouldn't split the party. ;)
But Matt knows what he's doing. I'm sure whatever he has planned, it'll be more interesting and convoluted than anything I could come up with.
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Since I hit 200 fics posted to AO3, I thought I'd do the ABC's of fic meme, because I'm only four letters off from having the full set and I'm not entirely sure WHEN I might fill those letters. If I do, I'll just do another one with DIFFERENT FICS.
Fun facts: I have 15 fics that start with "and" and 9 that start with "this."
Given CR is my main fandom and makes up the bulk of my fics, I tried to make them all CR unless I couldn't (note: I could) and stuck to one-shots only (if I could- note: i could). If at all applicable, I chose the ones that I love that don't have as much attention because why not circulate them a bit?
I'm not apologizing for how many are Tombtakers-related. Those are my children and also have the least attention because... I'm fixated on minor characters.
OKAY LET'S DO THIS.
A: all the things we gave up for the things we could gain. (Creecien) I have been told that this fic actively punches you in the face and steals your lunch money.
B: born for the scythe and the thorn. (Jayne Merriweather) Most of my B fics broke the threshold of "a decent amount of attention." This one was written for Critmas last year and I can't even remember if I actually let it hit the main tag. It's just a little Jayne backstory fic.
C: cut my teeth on the bread of pure temptation. (Essek & Lucien) This is one of my only Essek POV fics. Just a random meeting between Essek and the Tombtakers in the style of the Last Temptation of Christ, because I'm a pretentious asshole.
D: don't be chosen- make the choice to choose. (Kingsley & Orly) Another fic I wrote for last year's Critmas. A little conversation between Orly and King.
E: every dream i dream is founded in what came before. (Lucien) I know I link this one a lot and I didn't want to do it again, but it's one of my favorite Lucien character studies.
F: for the laughter in her eyes, i'd be a madman to refuse. (Lucien & Jester) This one actually broke my kudos threshold but shhh. I love it.
G: give me black cat bones as the clock strikes thirteen. (Tombtakers) A Tombtakers caper-fic that I love dearly.
H: he'll never know how much you've done. (Creecien) This one is set in the same timeline as this church takes no conversions but it doesn't require you to have read it. It's just some weird Creecien h/c with the usual Lucien bastard shit.
I: it's all swords and spades so cut me slowly. (Kash & Zahra) a rare CR1 fic from me. I just love writing Kash POV.
J: just tell me i'm allowed to stay right where you are. (Creecien) LOOK THIS WAS THE ONLY J FIC. I'm not picking the Creecien fics on purpose. (mostly)
K: the king lies bleeding. This one is, admittedly, the ninth part of an overarching fic series so it means nothing to most people unless you just wanna read Lucien getting dom-bombed by Cree for being reckless while Caleb is just like "that's hot." It's my only K fic okay.
L: life is not a game that has a clear and present winner. (Beau & Molly) A little Beau and Molly friendship fic with Molly character development.
M: may your princes understand you (may your wolves get out alive). (Jester & Artagan) This one also beat my kudos threshold but it was the lowest of the CR M's. And I still love this fic- the villain of it was the OC that Ira replaced in OUADYA.
N: never trust the tenor of the skies. ANOTHER FIC FROM EARTHQUAKE WEATHER. IT WAS THE ONLY N. Whatever man. The combination redemption arc/corruption arc is great. You just probably don't want to come in on the middle. (also yes I know i got the god wrong from Caleb's backstory, but it's an AU)
O: once you see the midway, you've already lost. (Jester and Artagan) I think we're seeing a theme in what I write. This one is a cute little thing I wrote for Critmas. I love writing Artagan interacting with other fey.
P: prayed at your altar with a pilgrim's devotion. (Creecien) Yeah, look, shut up. This one is just MEAN. And a horror story.
Q: No fic.
R: remember me as something bigger than i was. (Yasha & Kingsley) Another Critmas story. I love writing stories about the Nein accepting Kingsley's decision to treat Molly like a brother and adopting him as THEIR baby brother too.
S: said the fool to his majesty dethroned. (Molly & Lucien) I was trying not to do super recent fics, but most of the S-fics were either multichapters or fics that had plenty of attention and this one was my favorite Mollymauk Week fic.
T: trapped in the walls of my skin. (Lucien) WHO WANTS TO READ A HORROR STORY ABOUT COMING BACK TO YOUR BODY USED AND VIOLATED. SURE YA DO.
U: No fic.
V: a victim that doesn't play fair. (Beau) This one was the only fic that started with v. Warnings for gladiator slavery, etc. It has a happy ending.
W: when the ice melts, will we still be skating circles?: (Creecien) This was my first Creecien fic, guys!! It's just as terrible as you'd expect of these assholes!
X: No fic.
Y: you will be the king no longer when we reach the glade. (Jester and Lucien) Every great Lucien redemption story starts with a panic attack. Also I love the reoccurring lines in this one. And also star Molly.
Z: No fic.
#critical role fic#critical role fanfic#lucien nonagon#cree deeproots#beauregard lionett#mollymauk tealeaf#jester lavorre#creecien#kingsley tealeaf#artagan
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Chetney, I mean Chutney wanting to usurp Santa is brilliant. I vote for him as new Santa
Julie’s character Ellory says Santa is her divine presence, is she like a cleric and Santa is her patron? Does that make Santa a god?
Talisen’s character feels like a precursor to Ashton
Nutmeg, Ashley’s, having worked in the Macys in New York City is brilliant. I can see how that would make you hate Christmas
Sam being a Jewish elf is amazing
I also never realized how much I wanted Marisha and Matt role playing together, I’m excited to see more of that in one shots, have they ever had a rp romance? Idk why I want to see a married couple flirt again but I do
Also did they have to do a licensing agreement for this episode? Like they went to the forest of trees with a shamrock, a turkey, a pumpkin and all that. Plus the font for night before critmas is pretty much nightmare before Christmas
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There's something I feel is very important about Chetney that I think might be overlooked because it's perceived as simply holdover from his conceptual roots in Critmas: Chetney is a toymaker.
He works in a specific craft that isn't about creating pragmatic and useful items. These items are, non-judgmentally, frivolous. And primarily for children! He makes toys. Really, he makes objects whose sole purpose is to make someone happy, objects most often gifts people intend to give to someone else in the hopes they'll be happy.
And he deeply enjoys doing that work. He takes pride in it, and he is openly delighted to be doing it. He takes suggestions made to him very seriously, he carefully listens to what people describe they want. For those in the party who didn't make a request, he makes the decision to assess the way they present themselves and craft something based on that, rather than creating something random. He gives Artana Voe a tiny rocking horse, gives an unnamed guard a wooden coin—there's a generosity in that.
I feel like this is important, that he is someone whose chosen line of work is to create objects without a purpose other than bringing joy. They're objects that are, ultimately, sentimental. For years, possibly centuries, he made objects of sentimentality.
It makes me feel like Chetney must really like people, and that feels especially true after how he speaks to Orym and Imogen and even that man who rented them the horses this week. He must really like sheer concept of people and the way they find small happiness in such things and the way they want to make other people happy. There must be an understanding that all people are sentimental creatures who find meaning in and attach significance to small things, who find happiness in simple things—all simple and small things, from little gifted objects to whatever else it might be.
It just.... it feels to me significant and informative to his character to remember that Chetney is not just a woodworker. He is a toymaker.
#This is NOT as well worded as I'd like but I'm always thinking about this.#Critical Role#Chetney Pock O'Pea#Critical Role things#cr meta
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All I want for Critmas is for Molly to come up with Tarot names for Caduceus and Essek so we can have a whole set
#Also a shadowgast kiss but you know that's something else entirely#critical role#mighty nein#mollymauk tealeaf#it speaks
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I posted 4,527 times in 2022
That's 4,132 more posts than 2021!
176 posts created (4%)
4,351 posts reblogged (96%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@quinn-of-aebradore
@vethbrenatto
@viciousmollymaukery
@sparring-spirals
@rainydaydecaf
I tagged 4,527 of my posts in 2022
#critical role - 4,434 posts
#fanart - 3,255 posts
#cr 2 - 1,518 posts
#cr 1 - 1,489 posts
#cr 3 - 883 posts
#moodboard - 578 posts
#vex'ahlia - 317 posts
#keyleth - 313 posts
#vax'ildan - 312 posts
#exu: calamity - 282 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#i'm also fully prepared for some emotionally devastating shit in their backstory and how that affects their relationships with the other pcs
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Critical Role Moodboards: Essek Thelyss
165 notes - Posted August 19, 2022
#4
I genuinely love Callopea and I hope that it goes fully canon.
Not because a ship has to go “fully canon” to be legitimate, or to be enjoyed by the fandom, but because I think the dynamic between Fearne and Chetney is so different from the vast majority of ships that we’ve seen on Critical Role so far.
Because the thing is, I feel like a lot of the fandom kind of sees Callopea as a joke? And not just goofy or lighthearted, but kind of mean-spirited. Like, the idea that this could ever be a “legitimate” ship or that it has any meaning to it is laughable. (This is also kind of reflected in fanworks, since there’s basically no art of them, and there’s like... two people making gifs. In comparison to pairings like Imodna or Dorym which, while I do also ship, there is arguably less concrete evidence of in canon at this point in time).
Which I don’t think is true! I think there’s a lot of depth to both Chetney and Fearne, despite being largely comedic characters, and I think there’s also a lot of potential depth to their relationship, despite it being largely played for laughs.
Take Chetney, for example. I think the depth of his character is best summed up with this quote from The Night Before Critmas (and yes, I know that was Chutney, but he was the basis for the character):
“He told me to make Voltron out of wood. No one wanted it. He told me to make a Game Boy. I can't do circuits. He told me to make the little trolls, but the hair didn't move.”
Again, yes it’s comedic, but the core idea of the character was here – because Chetney/Chutney isn’t just talking about toys. He’s talking about himself. A huge part of this character is dealing with the feeling of obsolescence, of the world moving on without you and you not being needed anymore. That same idea also shows up with Bertrand at the beginning of the campaign, and I don’t think that’s an accident, and I don’t think Travis is doing that just for the joke.
Growing older can be scary. Feeling like you’re out of touch with the world, or that you aren’t needed anymore, or that you just don’t understand things anymore – that’s scary. In a way, it feels like parts of the fandom treat a character being old as a punchline – it sometimes feels like the very idea of a character being elderly, and an elderly character wanting some form of intimate relationship in particular, is worthy of mockery.
I’m sure we’ve all seen commercials or interviews or something that contain some variation on “as we age, our need for intimacy does not diminish”. Yes, Chetney has flyaway white hair and wrinkles and a squeaky old voice and a hat he’s almost laughably attached to and goofy curly toed boots, and he is still deserving of love, and that isn’t a joke. Not that that love needs to be romantic love, necessarily, but love nonetheless.
And I think that it makes perfect sense that Fearne would be the one to recognize that! For one thing, she’s the only one in Bell’s Hells that is anywhere near his age (though there is still a noticeable gap, but who knows how the fuck time works in the Feywild anyways). For another, with her wildshaping and his werewolf transformation, the two of them are the only ones in the group that understand that idea of letting animalistic instinct take over, of the freedom of being wild, and also the occasional lack of control or fear that can come with it. Not to mention both of their… impulsive morals.
But there’s two more ways I feel that these two connect, which are even deeper than what I previously mentioned – one of which I only realized after this most recent episode.
The first is related to this wonderful bit of meta from @captainofthetidesbreath, which I’m not going to reiterate here because a) you should go give them some love, and b) because this is long enough as it is. But to sum it up, Chetney is a toymaker, and takes great pride in that. He takes great joy in seeing other people, especially children, finding joy in what he’s crafted. Out of everyone in Bell’s Hells, I feel that Fearne is the only one who would truly appreciate that. Just look at what he’s made for everybody else – a box, which isn’t a toy. A skyship, which was immediately left behind for a child who would actually play with it and appreciate it. A wooden hand? And a house for Pâté and Sashimi, which is kind of a toy and kind of being played with, but also kind of not.
Fearne, on the other hand, has always had a certain whimsy about her. She enjoys the frivolous, she appreciates the silly, and she makes it a point to collect and steal and have things, simply because they make her happy. That, to me, is closest to the heart of why Chetney is a toymaker in the first place.
The second was something that Fearne said in episode 25. When Dusk showed her the locket that contained the portraits of her parents and that whole conversation started up, Fearne said”
“I don’t know where they are, and I’ve been looking for them, but maybe they just forgot? ‘Cause it’s been a very long time since I’ve seen them.”
I’m very curious as to whether this is a thought that she’s had before during her search for her parents – or if this will continue to weigh on her now that she has thought of it, at least until she’s able to reunite with them.
Because I feel like this ties in with the idea I mentioned above of Chetney feeling obsolete now that he’s gotten older. I could see a real and genuine heart-to-heart happening between them over this. I also wonder – Chetney’s never mentioned any family; no parents, no siblings, and most importantly for this Callopea ship manifesto (apparently), no spouse(s) or children. I get the sense from both of them of just… getting used to being alone and being lonely. That they are genuinely lighthearted and humorous individuals, but that humour does still help to hide some heavier feelings.
CHANGING TOPICS ENTIRELY, I also want to touch on something else that might seem completely counter to everything I’ve written here so far, and that is that this ship doesn’t need to be deep! They don’t need to have a “You know I’m in love with you, right?” or a “My heart belongs to someone else” or a “You were not born with venom in your veins”, etc etc etc.
A ship doesn’t need to be deep and intense and Romantic-with-a-capital-R to be real and genuine and enjoyable! It can be as simple and light and fun as just two people being attracted to each other and having fun exploring that attraction. Hell, their relationship doesn’t even need to be romantic! I’ve seen people headcanon Fearne as arospec, and I love the idea of a non-romantic but still sexual relationship being explored, and not being treated as lesser because of that.
Hell, they could still end up as a romantic relationship, but start out here, with heavy-handed flirting and overt sexual overtones, and see their relationship as fun but ultimately not particularly meaningful, but then *intense and emotionally-heavy moment later in the campaign happens, especially if one of them nearly dies or does die and is brought back*, and then they realize Oh shit, this isn’t just for funsies, I’ve got real actual romantic feelings for them and I’d be miserable if they were gone. Oh fuck.
And that’s not even touching on the wolf/deer theme they’ve got going on, or the sun/moon vibes that they’re rocking, etc.
Basically there’s just… SO much potential for Callopea, guys. I can’t wait to see where it goes.
244 notes - Posted July 6, 2022
#3
Y’know, the “Big moon, little moon” reveal makes the whole conversation with Fearne and Dorian about big/middle/little spoon hurt a whole lot more in retrospect.
305 notes - Posted March 18, 2022
#2
You’ve heard of Elf on the Shelf, now get ready for
783 notes - Posted August 12, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
From the moment that Exandria Unlimited: Calamity was announced, everybody was saying that “we already know how it ends, what matters is how they get there. We already know it’s a tragedy.”
Except... it wasn’t tragic. Not really.
Nydas made sure that as many citizens of Avalir survived as possible. He made sure that the students of the Sorcerer’s Academy, his pride and joy, made it out of the city. His brother and his sister-in-law made it out of Cathmoira.
Zerxus got to see his husband again, got to see his son one more time before everything went to shit, He made sure Tempus got out, and because of that, they were reunited. And even though he ended up damning his soul and serving the Lord of the Hells, he did it because there was no other choice he ever would have made.
Patia realized as she died, 1 in-game second into the episode, that you can have all of the knowledge in the world, but it means nothing if it dies with you. Against all odds, she got a second change, a grand total of an hour and a half before she ended up dying for good, and she fucking took it. She made damn sure that that knowledge didn’t die with her. And she always served Avalir, but Avalir is not the cobble streets or the ivory towers or any of the Rings. Avalir is it’s people, and she served them to the very end.
Loquatius was given the opportunity to leave, and he chose to stay with the woman he loves, with the world he loves, with the people he loves. He got one final message out, and with it, made sure that as many people were warned of the danger as possible, made sure that they knew to escape and where to go to do so. He got to be there to see Laerryn’s life’s work reach completion, and that was the whole point, wasn’t it?
Laerryn got to see her life work reach completion - not the way she thought it would, but in a way that mattered infinitely more. She did something brilliant and incomparable, surrounded by her loved ones, in and for and as the Heart of Avalir. She and Loquatius made amends and rekindled their love, and in the last few minutes of their lives were married again. ‘Til death do they part.
And Cerrit broke off from the rest of the party, one of the most taboo things in TTRPGs, and because of that he was able to find a way to make sure his family was safe, he was able to get to his children before things got too bad, he was able to get them out of the city. He fucking killed Vespin Chloras, saved his friend’s life, and made it possible for her to prevent the Primordials from re-entering the world. With one final telepathic map from Laerryn and a symbol of a broken pact from Loquatius, was able to escape and make it back to his family.
None of them died with regret. None of them wished that they had done things differently, there was no would-a should-a could-a. There was more hope than anything else in this story.
925 notes - Posted June 17, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#i guess i can also tag this as#kc's top five
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ESO Pt 1: Death & Taxes - liveblog
Starting the ESO one shots, because why the fuck not.
Hi Laura. You now own me. HOLY FUCK.
Sam’s PC is actually reminding me a little bit of FCG? Not entirely sure why
lol at Taliesin’s PC being in charge of food again. Is Taliesin a big fan of cooking?
...I miss long hair and beard Matt. Yes, the look does age him, but he looks fucking DASHING.
LOL at Sam THROWING Slaughter’s entire backstory out in the first *checks time* 12 minutes. And that’s counting the intro and title card sequence!
Michelle is new to me and I already adore her. I do need the PC cards though, I can’t remember like, ANY of their names! I only remember Slaughter because of the list of family names.
HOA! Thank you Aabria and Laura for saying it!
...Laura playing a surly orc is SENDING me places, omg
Slaughter’s not really hitting for me at the moment, I feel like Sam likes to play these super uncertain nervous one off characters (his Critmas elf is what I’m thinking of) and it just feels a bit overplayed? Or like, heavy handed? One note? Not sure how best to describe it. (though even as I’m typing this I’m remember his Lorelei PC was very boisterous and not nervous at all, so maybe not XD)
“Aren’t we all new beings on this beautiful planet that we call” *helphelphelp* LOL new geography who dis?
A handful of gold but no tip? How much does a single ale cost?!??!?
And Mallory has now won me over too. I love how much Tal is just cracking up everyone else with stuff that, in context, has no humor at all. It’s BRILLIANT. (also I keep wanting to type Molly, so that’s gonna be a thing)
also, I am DELIGHTED whenever anyone can make Matt break when he’s in character, and Tal did it FABULOUSLY. I feel like Matt’s the hardest to break, with Liam next, and then maybe Laura next? Though Sam’s good at not breaking, I feel like that’s more of it’s harder to make him laugh than the others. HE’S GOT HIGHER STANDARDS XD
LAURA IS FAKING THEIR TAXES!!!! also I full on don’t remember her name, except that it starts with a G. Aabria I think is playing Tavina? Which I can only remember by thinking Tavern.
OH GOD LAURA YOUR ROLLS
New proprietors have to carry over debts from previous proprietors???? I am desperately hoping that this is just a thing made up for the game solely because I wouldn’t be surprised if this was something that actually happened in the US now. (pretty sure it doesn’t, but still. I have no hope in the world anymore.)
Also this is making me giggle a little because imagine that Laura had rolled a nat 20 for the dex check and a nat 20 for the deception check and Matt just went ‘yup all your taxes are in order, whatever plot hook this is is now gone, enjoy just randomly serving customers for the next three hours’ XD It’d never happen, but it’s fun to picture
I’d totally be on the ‘let’s just murder hobo this dude’ train, but they are very respectful of obvious plot hook. XD
Then again I just realized this dude’s been drinking glass in his wine, he’s probably dead man walking
I am super surprised that Matt’s not teasing Aabria about the DM curse. Though, did this come out before ExU or after? Maybe they were trying to keep that hidden?
*looks through the comments because it’s late at night and I’ve lost focus* Someone described Mallory as a cross between Caduceus and The Owlbear and that feels spot on.
Oh dear, with combat not being standard 5e stuff I’m used to, it’s definitely going to have me zone out during. All weird spells and stuff….at least it’s the standard action/bonus action/movement it seems.
Oh hey, the only clip of this I’ve ever seen! Which is Laura swapping out her dice mid-game XD I lean towards Liam and Sam’s view of dice which is that the dice don’t care, but I do adore Laura’s rituals and such.
Plot device note found on a 6. Yup! Those you gotta find even on the nat 1s, just to make sure that plot can move along.
Sam goofing around that he doesn’t play ESO makes me wonder how they decide who among the main cast is going to be in the one shots. I always assuming that Liam’s in a ton of one shots because he loves d&d so much, whereas Sam is in a bunch of one shots because he’s the humor boy, but it does make me think. *looks at actual attendance* So Liam is in 31, Matt in 30, Sam and Tal at 29, Marisha at 28, Laura at 27, Travis at 24, and Ashley unsurprisingly at 11 (which I’m sure will pick up more now that blindspot is no more). (aww, it looks like Matt only got to play in 7 of them, had to DM the rest). You know, look at that now it’s actually way more balanced than I would have suspected! Though also looking at these, not sure if I’d actually count some of them as Critical Role one shots, as it includes the Campaign Tips/Critical Troll, as well as the Kinda Funny and Gamespot one shots as well. ...what is this Sloth and Sundry? *takes a peek* ….OKAY watching this next, I think. And the Stephen Colbert one shot is on here too….. ALRIGHT so my own headcanon list of what counts toward the ‘official’ count and whatnot is clearly skewed, so I give up XD
Speaking of costumes (we weren’t but that’s okay) I hope that everyone is a comfortable temperature. This group is such a mix of costume weights that I feel like either Michelle’s got to be freezing, or Taliesin and Sam are going to start sweating. Glad that Michelle’s ears look to be on a headband though, I was worried she had them actually on her ears cause that would be painful as fuck for any longish period of time.
Wow I have never seen Matt basically give someone proficiency just to get them past the point where they are stuck. (again, difference of a one shot vs a campaign, but still!) This group is rolling SO BAD. Also they have super low HP, so I wonder if they’re like, level 2/level 3?
Laura asks for and gets flanking, and then doesn’t roll with advantage XD aw bby
Ah! She remembers! Yay!
Grelnock is giving me the Barbarian!Laura that I’ve wanted. Tanky damage dealer, yes pls
It’s an interesting combination, I’m enjoying watching Aabria play, but at the same time this PC feels like all the NPCs from ExU. I think I said it at the time, but it holds true now. Creating a ‘character’ doesn’t need to be an integral part into d&d, because she’s just as enjoyable as the other players without feeling like ‘someone different’.
(I am NOT going to go into dRaMa here, but watching this is also reminding me that there are things that some CR cast does in their regular style of play which I just don’t vibe with overall.)
LOL Mallory looks SO disgusted by Baked Alaska, but intrigued by Bananas Foster
I love watching Matt desperately nerfing damage because all the rolls are TERRIBLE
When Slaughter yells the complicated order to the skull and throws it and Sam rolls and goes “NATURAL -” I 1000% thought he want going to say 20. I was not expecting the 1.
SLAUGHTER FINALLY GETTING A HIT, AND IT’S THE KILLING BLOW
Grelnock’s Skull. Hell. Yes.
#critical role#elder scrolls online one shot#laura bailey is too hot to be allowed#i apologize for my thirst
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Shield of the Seedkeeper. 🌲 Last year during the Great 2020 Critical Role Quarantine Hiatus, I made some jewelry based on characters from Exandria. When Campaign 2 was announced to be wrapping up, I sent off the remaining pieces... but they seem to have been lost by USPS. An investigation has been open for almost 2 weeks with no updates. 🤷
So I decided to make something new, based on an idea I had for the Melora, the Wildmother.
Cosplay and fanart got me into the fandom, but they aren't my strong suits personally. I love all the little details people include and wanted to do the same here.
Ceramic beads to represent the Clay family, natural gemstone beads for the Stone family, and glass beads with gold glitter for the Dust family.
Green jasper and moss agate to represent protection, abundance, and fertility.
Nephrite jade for luck, healing, and spiritual guidance.
Agatized fossil coral to represent primordial energies, emotional grounding, and her connection to both animal life and the sea.
Smoky quartz for cthonic energies and underworld journeys.
Amethyst as a stand-in for transformed residuum crystals.
I'll be shipping it off in a week or so, hopefully this time it makes it there so they can enjoy Critmas in July!
#fashion#green witch#naturecore#forestcore#goblincore#mori kei#dark mori#green witchcraft#critical role#critical role fanart#crit role#astral veil adornments
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