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anantaru · 24 days

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⊹ ‧₊˚ ᰔ ACE OF SPADES

part two. | rich boy aven masterlist.

synopsis. ⊹ ‧₊˚ ᰔ your first date with rich boy aventurine is more fun than you initially expected, who knows where things will go from there // ꒰ᐢ⸝⸝⸝⸝ᐢ꒱ ♡

cw. fluff, slightly suggestive, rich boy au, reader wears a dress, flirty aventurine, a/n. this will have a part two if you can't tell, fem! reader ♡

you turn your face to the left and let your visual perception take in the luxurious casino you've been invited in— undeniably, your first reaction was dedicated to the chimes of whistles of various slot machines announcing wins and losses, in combined action with racketing noises of their shafts being pulled.

your jaw parts and your eyes grow, it felt surreal to stand here with an expensive dress hugging your body tight, a small gift from your date, nothing more, nothing less. rich boy aventurine slowly slides his palm over the back of your hand to lure your thoughts back to himself as he intertwines his fingers with your own.

you stiffen, it didn't take a genius to notice that you were slightly nervous about your first date with the infamous gambler. if only he would've picked a better place to get to know each other— alas, in a way it was exactly what you've expected.

well yes, aventurine choose the probably, most unromantic spot for a first date— but, you got a dress as a gift, together with an embellished necklace and a free entry to a luxurious, private casino.

so, did you really mind? hmm, not really. in fact, it was quite unique and exciting to be here, you also felt safe by his side, and especially intrigued to get to know more about his, quote on quote, playground.

men, or how people called them here; high rollers in pretentious suits, glide like sharks over the soft tumble of the dice. it's all very crowded and distracting, needless to say it was interesting to witness, but you notice how your heart was thumping faster, that's when you began to feel yourself getting difficulties to breathe evenly.

snugly pressed against aventurine, you walk past the shrill murmur of crowds and bells of roulette wheels as the gambler spins you towards his chest, his hand carrying on to hold yours gently, "are you okay? you look a little nervous," he says nonchalantly, although his handsome voice told you a different story, an affectionate perception, "our table is right there, we can take a seat and talk if you want. "

your gaze slowly shifts to where aventurine was pointing his head towards as you look at a large table right next to the exclusive sight of exquisite gold and silver fountains and statuaries. this must've cost a fortune, you were certain that this area alone was the most breathtaking one.

you awkwardly glare up at him, your breathing picking up on tempo, "of course, but..." your last note was drawn out as aventurine cocks a curious brow at you, "would it be okay to excuse myself for a bit?"

you continue shortly, fists balled, "it's a little stuffy here, you see, i'd love to take some fresh air without bothering you about it,"

in all honesty, the air was, well, utterly despicable. the lofty mixture of overpriced cologne and sweat penetrated your nostrils to the point where it began to ache and scratch your brain.

despite the fact that everything was overwhelming in its entirety.

being embarrassed by your human reactions might be an imprecise wording and false emotion to feel, you shouldn't feel bad about this. although you felt awkward and uneasy to ask aventurine if you could take a swift breather outside.

what if he found you to be boring now? or even worse, ungrateful when it was him who made it possible for you to see something like this in the first place.

a high class casino that could never be visited by the ordinary.

he looks at you through his glasses and you could swear his eyes had a mellow glow, a tender glimmer of serenity as his lips carve into a handsome smile, "oh of course, lets go right away so you won't get nauseous," he utters out, his stomach sitting heavy with lead and eagerness to look out for you.

you freeze for a second, "uh, wait, i really don't want to ruin this night for you," and sigh, letting your gaze wander around everywhere but his direction before tapping out a nervous rhythm against the soft marble on the floor.

all aventurine does was laugh airily, "you're adorable,"

"you're not ruining anything, in fact, you really couldn't, even if you tried,"

ugh, everything about you is just so pretty, you're sweet and angelic and he's glad he's bought this dress for you, it fits you like a second skin— aventurine takes note of your beauty, he stores it into the most important places in his brain so he could dream about you later.

memorize how this dress looks on you. closer and closer.

"but here, take my jacket, okay? it's rather cold," he flips his jacket down his shoulders before draping it over your own before suddenly closing the distance from his lips to your ear— silent, there's a voice next to your skin, it's deep, handsome and smoking hot. barely above an octave as it holds a teasing verge to it, "i wouldn't want you to catch a cold, yeah?"

you hum in agreement as you rest your hands above his clothed chest, butterflies storm through your belly and settle heavily inside as aventurine wraps one arm around your waist, his breath wafting around your lovely lips.

you felt the need to kiss him, and so did he, feel the same towards you. for a moment, you two linger feeling each others warmth a little longer, relishing in your precious attempts to getting to know each other better. it's slightly awkward, you could tell that aventurine noticed how your eyes were fighting the urge to keep admiring him.

yet, he's not complaining— he could never, not when you're so cute, and your touch on him was consistently warm, your trace firm but confident, content and safe.

he hopes you will enjoy yourself tonight, and maybe, only maybe, you will invite him over to your place later.

#hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #aventurine x reader #hsr x you #honkai star rail x you #aventurine x you #hsr drabbles #honkai star rail drabbles

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luocha-lovr · 23 days

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⌗ baby boys。

❛ OR :: what a mommy kink does to your boys.

❛ CONTAINS :: afab! reader; no fem pronouns used but feminine pet names and genitalia are used. cock-warming. handjobs. edging. gentle femdom. MINORS DNI but if you're a minor and choose to read anyway, that's on you.

AVENTURINE 砂金

“Wait, please, I— mmh!”

He’s not sure how he even got here. One minute he’s playing a game of poker in Aideen Park with a bunch of what’s-their-names and the other, he’s losing everything he’s bet and more.

Maybe he’s drunk one too many bottles of SoulGlad during that bet. His sight’s way too blurry now, but somehow you’re the only clarity in his vision, the sight of you on your knees and stroking his cock sobering him up a little. This was the condition you’d placed when you placed your bet back at the poker table, and maybe— just maybe— he’s glad that you were the one claiming victory against his first loss.

“So,” you start in a lazy drawl, and Aventurine gulps at the tone of your voice. Your hand stops at the base of his cock, preventing his release with a smile just as lazy. “You’re an Avgin, correct?”

Aventurine pauses.

“What’s an Av—”

“A yes or no is all I need, pretty boy,” you interrupt, not quite realizing Aventurine was raring to cum the moment you called him that. Or maybe you did. He doesn’t know.

A sigh and a beat passes before he nods, “Yes, ma’am.”

“I knew it,” you chuckle, “such pretty cock and tantalizing eyes could only belong to an Avgin.”

The smile that lifts the corners of your mouth makes his breath hitch. He probably should be wary of how you know he’s an Avgin, but the only thing on his mind right now is that you praised him for his answer regardless of his background. He could feel the hairs on his arms stand at attention. No way is it legal to be as pretty as you are.

And then you start pumping his cock again and, fuck, does he absolutely love the drag of your soft palm against the skin of his cock, unable to keep himself from spurting out little drops of pre. It gets on your lips, and Aventurine struggles to even babble out an apology before you’re licking it off and smacking your lips like you were sampling his taste.

“It’s okay, dearest,” you tell him in that tender voice that gets him so weak in the knees, thankful that he’s seated; otherwise he’d just fall flat on his ass. “You taste as divine as you look.”

Fuck.

That was it.

What started off as small spurts of pre became a steady flow of cum as his vision blurs and his ears ring, just the sound of your voice bringing him further into ecstasy. This— this— is the kind of dream he doesn’t wanna wake up from; the sight of you kissing on his cum-stained cock, languid movements of your hand continuing to milk him dry.

“Mommy, please, I can— Nng-hah..!” he struggles to even form a coherent thought, somehow so overstimulated despite you not even putting in that much effort. Realization hits him far too late, that he’d called you mommy, and he’s panic-stricken for a moment as he tries to find his words.

Your hand comes to a stop and you pull your mouth away from his cock. Your grip maintains, and for a moment, he’s soothed by the gentle caress of your fingers against his balls. His breath shakes, and he’s almost hypnotized by the way the golden light of this hotel room makes his cum look like gloss on your lips.

“It’s okay, dearest,” you tell him again, and it feels as though there was more intent to your words this time. Aventurine blinks. You like being called mommy?

It’s a silent question, and you give him a silent answer. If you held him by the cock any tighter than that, he was never waking up from this dream.

Slowly, you’d begin to pump his cock once more, waking it from its brief respite. He could only throw his head back, veins along his length pulsating gently, like a steady heartbeat. He doesn’t even know your name, but by the looks of things, you weren’t even gonna give him that much.

Something about you is so cruel yet so kind, so warm yet so cold, so close yet so far— but if there’s anything a man like him likes, it’s a high-stakes challenge.

He’ll admit he lost the bet, but scoring someone like you is already victory unlike any other.

JING YUAN 景元

“Lock the door on your way out.”

“Yes, General.”

The door shuts and its lock clicks in place as a Cloud Knight leaves the office, finished with their reports for the day. A shaky sigh of relief escapes Jing Yuan, as though he’d been holding his breath, waiting for the Cloud Knight to leave the entire time.

How could he not when you were sitting so comfortably in his lap, smiling at whoever comes in as if you weren’t squeezing down on his cock? He could feel your thighs quiver with excitement with each person that came in, hoping not to get caught in such a risque position. He’s been edged more times today than a year or two ago, and as sexy you are right now, he’d really love nothing more than to have his sweet release already.

“Baby, please. I need you to take the ring off,” he gasps out weakly, his grip on the armrests of his seat nearly enough to break them off. He can’t even see your face— you refuse to show him— and he’s getting far too desperate to even care about his silly pride as he begs for you.

He can’t see the twitch of your lips as they curve into a cheeky smile, but he knows; knows you better than anyone, knows you better than he knows himself. It’s a curse that imprints the image of you in his brain, cheeks all rosy and lashes fluttering with each squeeze of your walls. It’s even worse when you chuckle at him and shake your hips in the figure eight, almost mocking him.

“Five more minutes,” you tell him, and he’s reminded of the silly rule he established for both you and himself.

No fucking before 8pm.

Before 8pm, he is the General of the Cloud Knights, to guard the Luofu from all danger. Before 8pm, he is the Divine Foresight, to guide disciples and train their minds. All of those titles and responsibilities vanish the moment 8pm strikes, for after 8pm, he is nothing but a husband, a lover, and a toy— all for you.

Five minutes feel like an eternity, and that says a lot given his immortality. He’d always been a patient man, so understanding and kind, but he could never hold himself back when you’re involved. Oh how his hands twitched, itching to grab a hold of your hips and just…

He shifts his hips— forward, then to the left, then to the right, then forward again— trying as much as he can to bury himself inside of you while being as discreet about it as possible. If he tried a little bit more, he could—

His thought process is interrupted by the tightness around his cock slowly dissipating, all warmth leaving as you stood from his lap and pulled your underwear back up. Just one glance at him and you could see the utter defeat in his eyes, afraid he’d never be able to be satisfied by cumming from his own hands rather than with your pretty pussy at night.

If you really wanted to, you could make him cry like this.

“Wait! Mommy, I’m sorry,” he stammers, taking your wrist in his hand. The look in your eyes as you turned to face him tells him enough; you knew he was trying to fuck you before 8pm struck. The poor man was so guilty he hadn’t even realized it was 8:02pm already.

Technically, he hadn’t broken any rules.

The delighted laugh you let out is music to his ears and he perks up like some big dog. “Baby, I was going to suck your cock,” you tell him, going down on your knees like you were proving your intentions. Jing Yuan feels dumb for a moment. How could he have doubted you?

He isn’t even able to wallow in his self-pity. What replaces the warmth of your pussy is the warmth of your mouth, your tongue flat along the underside of his cock. “Thank you,” he all but whispers. Somehow he still has half the mind to remember that he was in his office; anyone could come knocking.

Slender fingers and careful touches keep the hairs on his arms standing. Each time he thinks you’d release him from the confines of his cock ring, you pull your fingers away and take him deeper in your mouth. It’s a different kind of torture that he’s not sure if he hates or loves, though a part of him does like it just because it’s you.

Each drag of your lips along the shaft of his cock drives him mad with need— need to cum, need to fuck his hips into your mouth. But he knows he can’t, not when you’re so nice to take care of him at work.

“Mommy, please,” he pleads, golden eyes peering down at you as you make a mess of lipstick stains and spit bubbles. He’s trying way too hard to hold back his moans, though with not much success.

You only shake your head at him, chiding his impatience. In all truth, he’s just far too cute begging for you like this. “Just a bit longer,” you reply with a mouthful of cock and pre, eyes glazed over as his dick pulsates in your mouth.

Shivers run down his spine and goosebumps litter his skin. His breaths come out in quick bursts and he can’t help but slump against his chair when you smile at him. He’s pretty sure his moans could be heard in the next office over, but really, could he care? He’s convinced he already came, but the lack of cum in your mouth was rather upsetting until he realizes he still has the ring on.

The smile on your face tells him you still aren’t done just yet and, frankly, he’s in it for the long ride anyway.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 ISH's notes ::

📌 what better way to celebrate aventurine's official release than writing him a handjob fic am i right?

📌 experimenting on blog styles rn. it's been a hot while. tell me how this one looks!

📌 STILL working on a taglist so just hmu if you wanna be tagged. also i may not be taking requests but i certainly am taking asks. im dying for some moots to gush with.

ish | 2024. no plagiarizing, reworking, or reposting this work on other sites.

#ᯓᡣ𐭩 lovr's #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x reader #hsr smut #hsr aventurine #hsr jing yuan #honkai star rail aventurine #honkai star rail jing yuan #aventurine x reader #jing yuan x reader #fem reader #aventurine x you #jing yuan x you #aventurine smut #jing yuan smut

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ncteez · 6 months

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✤ Losing It. (masterpost) ✤ // HIATUS

A series of having virginities given to you. Sometimes they throw said virginity at you with full force, other times, they lovingly hold your hand, bat their lashes, and say some of the dumbest shit you’ve ever heard a man say in regards to getting laid for the first time. ✤ or the one where you go through a list of the seventeen members and learn how they'd lose their virginity to you.

COMPLETED CHAPTERS ― 1/13

SERIES STATUS: actively writing as of march of 2024!

NOTE― All chapters can be read stand alone and do not tie into the others. Each reader and storyline is different!

SERIES WARNING―There are a variety of different scenarios here involving both very normal and loving sex, to some stories that may contain: sub/dom dynamics, religion kink, obsession, desperate behavior, and purchasing of sex work.

If any of these things make you uncomfortable, I urge you to scroll on and not put yourself in a position of discomfort. I did not write these fics to harm anyone.

✤ this series is afab!reader. ✤ Warnings, tags, word counts, etc. can be found attached to each chapter. ✤ Disclaimer: some storylines and member order may be prone to change upon writing them. ✤ TAG LIST OPEN!! send me an ask off anon to be on the tag list for this series. you will be tagged for every chapter, not just the specific members you choose.

✤ Chapter One: Cherry Boy[l.c.]

A new relationship is always difficult to navigate, for Chan, it appears to be even more difficult. For you? You’re just left confused as to why your new boyfriend of a month and a half hasn’t made a move on you despite your very obvious attempts to invite him into your personal space.

You soon realize that your boyfriend is a virgin, and that’s why he’s always running away with his hands covering his bits, even through a simple goodnight kiss.

STATUS ― virginity loss: success WORD COUNT ― 10k

✤ Chapter Two: Thirst Trappers LIE. [k.sy.]

You find your very innocent best friend’s secret thirst trap account. To your surprise, the “I’m not ready yet” Soonyoung, who literally sleeps with at least seven different plushies, consistently swings his dick at onlookers online. Grey sweatpants, no boxers, thigh flexing, moaning and whimpering audios.

Maybe he’s not so innocent after all.

And just maybe you’re right about that, because what he meant by “I’m not ready to have sex yet” really just meant “please have practice sex with me because four thousand people are trying to pull up and i don’t want to be bad at it but i didn’t know how to ask you.”

STATUS ― v card is actively blocking and reporting everyone who sends a dm EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Three: Scoring One. [s.c.]

The second best hockey player on campus has a secret. Not that he cheats on his exams, or that he had a crush on the lunch lady growing up, it’s that he’s shamefully a virgin, despite his jersey sporting the big bold numbers of a six and a nine.

Thankfully, Soonyoung found out about his dirty little secret and provides him with a number and a promise that the girl on the other line has a thing for desperate dudes. What he didn’t know? He was just about to pay not only the number one party girl on campus to take care of his little issue, but his own little sister’s best friend.

STATUS ― v card is currently tucked in his pocket behind a picture of his little sister. CONTEXT NOTE― this fic does not include an age gap of more than two years. EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Four: One unsolicited dick pic later. [l.sm.]

Never mind why he hasn’t managed to get laid, it’s not like he hasn’t laid in his room for years at night wondering the exact same thing. The current issue is the fact that his friends keep watching porn on the loudspeakers in the living room, he’s drunk, and he got the sudden confidence to send you a dick pic after not speaking to you since he wished you a happy birthday last year.

What he didn’t know though, is that you’ve had a crush on him since that time in third grade he punched Seungkwan for cheating off of his spelling test.

STATUS ― v card is currently sitting in your inbox unread alongside his raging hard-on. EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Five: LOST DOG: FOUND [k.m.]

Mingyu had the chance to lose his virginity right around the time all of his friends did but, well, there were some mishaps. Unfortunately, years later, he is still lying about the loss of it and pretends that he definitely has sex on the regular. He probably would too, if it weren’t for the fact that he’s grown incredibly insecure about his body and what it actually means to sleep with someone.

Now though, the 26 year old man lives on the floor above you and is known as the pet-sitter of the building. Which is kind of great because it’s far too expensive to board your dog for weekend trips every month. You approach him for the first time with the offer of a hundred bucks to watch your dog, and of course he accepts.

The issue upon returning home? He lost your 70 pound dog. Like, the whole thing, he lost it.

STATUS ― v card being handed to you with the leash your dog was supposed to be on. EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Six: LOSER. [j.ww.]

After adding some anonymous dude you found on your city’s subreddit looking for gaming friends, you find yourself confused when he suddenly ghosts you after trying to hold a non-gaming conversation.

Through his friends, you learn that he got cold feet because he’s never been with a woman before, and you decide that you’re just gonna have to show him that a man and a woman can be friends without the assumption that either of you want to fuck each other.

Except, maybe you’re not the best example to prove that, because now you can’t stop flirting with him. Now, you’re growing fond of the way he gets all flustered and turned on at the slightest implication of meeting face to face.

STATUS ― v card is hidden deep within his steam library EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Seven: ISO: Anyone who wants me. [c.v.]

Vernon has never had a girlfriend and he wants one bad. Badder than bad. His group of friends get fed up with his consistent eye-rolls involving couples in public, them when they talk about their girlfriends or hook-ups, and ultimately decide to hold an auction at a campus-wide party.

He was feeling pretty ashamed about being announced as a virgin in need of some love, but the laughing didn’t bother him nearly as much when people actually start a bidding war.

Apparently, these auctions happen once every few years and it’s like, a whole thing or whatever. He just happened to be the lucky guy who suddenly has girls lining up for him with cash in hand. And you just happen to be the lucky girl to show him a good time.

STATUS ― v card is currently taped to his forehead EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Eight: To whom it may concern, My desk is sturdy. [l.jh]

The worst thing about spending the night at work to reach deadlines is the fact that the new intern likes to hang out with him. Or rather, distract him. It's insane, really, how he's always about doing things by the book. His whole life revolved around rules and regulations, until he met you. He wanted to wait until marriage, and marriage was not in his books anytime soon. So, with all the stress on his back and you sitting across from him trying to get him to live a little, he decides to live a little too much.

STATUS ― v card framed on his office desk EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Nine: How to be forgiven when you're (not) sorry. [h.j.]

Faith should be put into God, not the priest that consistently finds himself wanting to lead a pretty woman further from the union of God. He’s managed to hold off for most of his life from doing that, but all good things come to an end, he supposes.

Marrying two sophisticated and loving members of the church was the easiest part of his night. The hardest part was pretending that their distant relative didn’t show up in inappropriate attire, with an even more inappropriate need to flirt with a celibate priest. For both him and his God, he finds himself praying more for his sanity than for the happy marriage of the two he just joined together.

STATUS ― v card being used as a bookmark for his bible CONTEXT NOTE― this chapter contains inaccurate depictions of religious duties, sinning, blasphemy, questioning of god, and over all a blatant religion kink from yours truly. EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Ten: Paying it forward. [y.jh]

CAMPUS NEWS: RICH NEW STUDENT LOOKING FOR LEGS TO SPREAD.

Being born into a rich family is great and all, sure, when the family isn’t so strict that Jeonghan wasn’t even allowed to close his own bedroom door growing up. Dating was off the table for him too, junk food, trash tv, and even choosing his own career path wasn't something he got to experience in life...yet.

Thankfully, those strict reigns loosened when he got into a college far, far away from home. Now? Jeonghan is out for blood, and by blood, he means he is out to experience all those first-times he missed throughout his teen years. First up on the to-do list: get laid.

STATUS ― brought his v card but forgot his wallet EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Eleven: Friend Circles & Circle Jerks [b.sk.]

Seungkwan had his whole life planned out from the age of five. First, he would finish pre-school and get his diploma to become a doctor, mostly so he could buy a big mansion to live in with his family. Then, he would ask you, the neighbor kid next door, to marry him so that the two of you could stay up past seven in the evening.

Well, it’s safe to say that the now twenty five year old Seungkwan did not become a doctor, nor did he ask you to marry him. To put it simply, you friend zoned him before he ever got the chance to tell you that he’s wanted to kiss you since he learned what kissing was. Still, he sticks around, picking up your little broken heart pieces from the ex that just dumped you. His hopes are high that, maybe, you’ll take notice of how he’s saved himself for you, and that maybe you’d really give him a chance.

STATUS ― v card hidden behind his friendzone card EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Twelve: 48 Missed Calls. [w.jh.]

Junhui dated you for three weeks in highschool. However, It was a simple act of curiosity between the two of you and it ended fairly quickly due to, well, being teenagers.

That’s how it was for you, at least. For Junhui? Maybe it was puberty, or maybe it’s just the puppy love he had for you but, he really couldn’t just let you go. He has brushed off any other person who offers interest towards him for years now because of you. You’re the only person he wants, and despite this obsession he has, you still manage to not notice it.

Which is why he still holds the title of your best friend. A very, very, protective best friend.

STATUS ― v card stuck in limbo just like his obsession with you CONTEXT NOTE― this chapter deals with instances of manipulation, obsession, and over all our boy here has some strange ass vibes (this chapter is not in any way dubcon or noncon). please be aware of this. EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤ Chapter Thirteen: Probably (not) a bad idea. [x.mh.]

When Minghao couldn't get a girlfriend throughout his younger years, his focus landed on none other than the world wide web. There, is where he decided how he intends to lose his virginity. Several years and a very large porn addiction later, some lucky woman on one of the four different BSDM sites he signed up for will have the privilege of taking his virginity in more ways than one. He just knows he’s going to love every smothered, painful, wet, insulting second of it.

STATUS ― v card is being used as a pickup line CONTEXT NOTE― this chapter has sub/dom dynamics in where minghao is an alt submissive man. there is ass-play in this. p.s. it is not the greatest idea to lose your virginity to a stranger, especially if that stranger is found on a bdsm site. lower your moral standards for this one. EST WORD COUNT ― 5k+

✤tag list: @aaniag @kissesfrmwonwoo @youronceupontequilas @kwanisms @sisterofsomeone @wonrangwoo @yawnkive @5xiang @mingyuonthemoon @listxn @sebongica @yawnkive @nishloves @sisterofsomeone @thepoopdokyeomtouched @ghostlycrystobalove @shiningnono @tomodachiii @porridgesblog @cheolctrl @notevenheretbh1 @jungkkoo @4cheezflatbred @duchesskaren @flwrshwa @sexygrass @doljjongsmom @kpopcrazed @baalkoo @seonghwasprincess @pandoora-the-pink-goth @introdarling @ingloriousbasterdss @horanghaezone @starquokka @imprettyweird @kyeomray this is for tracking purposes, if you are on this list, you will be tagged to all fics in this series unless you state clearly that you would not like to be tagged in fics that contain darker content.

#seventeen smut #svt smut #losing it masterlist

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hana-no-seiiki · 1 year

Note

Can you write something about yaoshi?thou their design is very pretty (⁠●⁠’⁠3⁠)⁠♡⁠(⁠ε⁠`⁠●⁠)

Let's say we're their fav human/god

I hope this makes sense

We don’t know much about the Aeons yet, so don’t expect this to be an accurate representation of what Yaoshi acts like. I’ll give ya two versions (human and aeon reader).

(YANDERE?) YAOSHI x READER (ft. Other Aeons)

warnings: ddne, mind break, power imbalance, massive age gap & infantilization(for the human section), yandere themes in general, somnophillia.

note: from what i read in yaoshi’s lore what i wrote feels like something the canon character would do hence the question mark

status: unedited

STORY ONE : TO LIVE IN ABUNDANCE | Doctor ! Reader

Yaoshi could not fathom why one would not wish for eternal life. Life was the most beautiful thing in existence. Wondrous, with a diversity one could not begin to imagine. Yet, there exists people who desire for existence to come to a halt, many who wish for their teachings and gifts to end.

You were one of those people.

Despite your occupation as a doctor, you believed that every patient had a right to choose their destiny. Whether it be to continue fighting for their lives or to die peacefully in their death beds, who were you to decide what happens to them? You were only the nurturer and provider. Even the best doctor in their field has to let go of a patient when it came down to it. For life is only beautiful, meaningful when it has to diminish one day.

And in spite of your beliefs, Yaoshi decided to bless you to join him in his path.

Your world was shaken.

Why were you of all people chosen by this Aeon?

Sure, you were fully dedicated to career. But if anything, your views were more aligned to the Archer Lord of Fate. You have had many Mara strucken, the victims of Yaoshi’s ‘gifts’, pass away before your very eyes. Beasts who have long lost their minds and ability to choose what future they’ll follow. If you had a choice, without a heartbeat

Several millenia pass with you never aging. Generals that ruled come and go.

And now, because of their so-called kindness, you were banished from Xianzhou. Your home. Thrusted into the embrace of space and void,

and none other than the Aeon that doomed you.

“Child. You have come home at last.”

II.

If you were born into a different culture, perhaps a planet that worshipped the Aeon before you, maybe then you would be elated with your current happenstance.

But this was not the case unfortunately.

You spend around a decade filled with hatred and anger. Hurling the most venomous words and even attempting to harm their being. Of course, none of your actions do anything to help your situation.

A century was spent trying to convince them to let you go, to rescind their blessing and leave you to live your life as a mortal.

They refused, stating that it would saddened them to lose you.

It gets close to another century with how long you spent in tears. For the loss of your loved ones that had left you to go to the afterlife. For the situation you were forced into. As you cried and cried, all Yaoshi could do was embrace you using their many arms. It was a peculiar feeling at first but unfortunately became comforting soon enough.

And after all that you finally gave in.

Yaoshi did not seem surprised at all. In fact what awaited your complete acceptance was a gentle smile. One akin to a parent seeing their child come back home after running away in a fit.

“We can finally begin the preparations.”

“For what?” Your voice, hoarse and abused by your depressed barely came out.

“For our wedding.”

iii.

You were used to their multi-armed touches, their inhuman way of showing affection towards you. But nothing could prepare you for the consummation.

You don’t remember anything. Throughout the whole process you were extremely disassociated to the point of being catatonic.

This, this was your life now. Stuck to a god as a human who has far outlived their expiration date. Slowly yet surely your mind corroded.

And even as your body was littered with the golden allure of ginkgo leaves, your freedom never came.

Yaoshi did end up releasing you from their grasp to roam the cosmos freely. People from all over the universe called you the Golden Wanderer, or the Sanctus Medicus Saint.

But what was the point?

Even with your endless fame and immortality. You were a dead man walking.

Waiting, hoping, that one day someone would grant you mercy a god of life and everything beautiful in it could not.

STORY TWO : TO DIE IN THE LIGHT | AEON OF DREAMS - IMAGINARY ELEMENT ! READER

In the time humanity and civilizations began to rise. You were created within the womb of the universe representing a concept. Dreams. Though you most presided over preferable ones, you were known to give unending nightmares to those that slighted you and your domain.

In the grand scheme of Aeons, you were neutral. Never straying from the unbiased perspective of a god. Those that worshipped and favored you get rewarded, those that dirtied your name were punished.

For that you were often looked down upon by your fellow gods, seen as indecisive with your head literally and figuratively stuck in the clouds.

Yaoshi used to be one of them. They had a difficult time understanding how one could live without ever peeling their eyes to the grandiose aesthetics of the world.

They soon began to fall in love with your fair — beautiful and impartial — self.

And if those mara-struck beings were anything to go off of . . .

Their infatuation spelt your doom.

ii.

There you were. Your form shone brilliantly under the light of the moons and stars that seemed to dangle above you.

Even a god snored, and snored you did. But to Yaoshi this hoarse sound was music. No, even more than that.

It was a reminder that throughout the eons, you two are alive. Together. Breathing.

Yaoshi visited your slumbering body frequently to the point that it became a risk. That Lan would sometimes stand guard over you in case they would come, or have the Xianzhou oversee your vicinity. Not many mortals can hold up against the Aeon however, and if it meant having to go against their path in order to see you — the choice was obvious.

Their stays mostly consisted of performing lullabies and poetry of how both your and their followers adored your seemingly romantic partnership, to your blissfully unaware body.

At least that’s what they thought.

iii.

Contrary to popular belief, your most devoted of followers do not eternally sleep. Nor do the majority spend a lot of their sleeping. In order to spread your name, a lot chose to stay awake. Because if there was anything your true followers loved more than a good nap it was you.

As such, not known to many people or gods, you had a vast network of knowledge. A lot of what people learn and experience appear in dreams, and once the more fantastical ones were taken off the list, you were left with a near infinite amount of information.

Humans have also mastered a way of communion with you.

Case in point, you had long known about Yaoshi’s visits. You were the one that asked Lan to aid you. Breaking your self imposed rule of impartiality.

But all is for naught.

Misinformation had spread far too wide and the delusions Yaoshi infected the world with overpowered your truth.

Their acquisition of you was as tranquil and hurdle free as it could be.

While you were caged by Yaoshi, another Aeon swore to bring you back.

Ending life and therefore your deeply unconscious state. A state which they saw as involuntary. A cage infinitely worse than the Aeon of Harmony kept you in.

And the first Stellaron was born.

a/n: i imagine human reader, especially post yaoshi adoption, to be like a lifesteal-tank sort of abundance character. only ever healing(mostly themself) if they attack/hurt the enemy, which would go against what yaoshi wants. i might draw a design for them actually. the type that if you build well, won’t ever die. but any battle with them would take a really long time since their damage is pp in comparison to other characters at the very least.

[link to the design/drawing here if i ever finish it]

[here’s a link to another aeon related fic]

i wanted to include both versions here before i uploaded this even if the first one is so long cause i just know im never gonna write a part two if ever lol. and yes, the aeon in the last bit is nanook.

want more hsr fics/have an idea for one? send me an ask or submission ❤️

©️ hana.no.seiiki - yun | 2023

#yandere #yaoshi #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #yandere hsr x reader #yandere honkai star rail x reader #nanook x reader #yandere nanook x reader #yandere aeon #yandere lan #yandere yaoshi hsr #yandere fic #yandere x you

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eveledoze · 1 month

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spoilers for ep7 ! things about N and Uzi i wanted to point out 2/?

I like that he smiled at Nori's words, as if he himself met his old friend. but in reality it's not that cool. he seemed familiar to her, so did she see him before? again thoughts that it was he who killed her body huh (while her heart remained alive)

Nori turned out to be not as silly and playful as we all thought (which is sad a lil bit), but on the other hand she is quite a badass and confident woman. and it makes me wonder more about what she saw in Khan... but hey, despite some time apart she calls him hunk! i hope that if she is reunited with him, she will find a new body for herself, since it will be awkward to meet only the heart of your wife-

hearing N say Khan's name, Nori becomes tense. what kind of friends does my daughter have huh

after Nori tells a little story, N acts sweet and friendly as always, clapping for her, and Nori throws a rock at him, telling him to stop. i love how much she looks like her daughter, she does things to make N stop doing stupid things btw it’s funny that she, being a small body, chained him, such a big one, to the wall with a pickaxe for safety

when she asks who is the host of the solver at the moment, N smiles slightly, saying "Uzi", despite the fact that the situation is tense

ok, I didn’t understand this moment right away, but now I understand. "which one (Doll or Uzi) tried to eat us right now?" he realizes that it is none of them

he says in such a joyful tone “she will fall when she finds out that I met her mother” :з but then Nori pinned him to the wall again, forcing him to remain silent about it. it's funny how she openly admits that she is the cause of all the nightmares in Uzi's life, so she thinks that if Uzi finds out she is alive, it will cause problems. N says in a decisive tone that he doesn't want to keep secrets from Uzi anymore, since he has already seen what this can lead to - a loss of trust. the moment from ep2 when he wanted to touch her shoulder, but she backed away, and when just recently he went to her, but she stepped back. seeing your loved one afraid of you and losing trust in you is a very painful thing

she presses the cross on him so hard that cracks appear on the ground, she is really serious

N promises, after which she looks a little surprised and as if grateful, but then she realizes that there will be some kind of catch

and she's not wrong. he got out of this situation so that he didn’t have to lie to Uzi and keep everything secret. Nori rolls her eye, realizing that it couldn’t have been otherwise and this guy wouldn’t be convinced and yeah she said THE LIINEEE

wild N oh........that's something I think Nori told N that there is a way to weaken the solver so that it does not cause problems. and since he guessed that Tessa knew about this, now her pressure for N to choose the universe and not the little drone sounds strange. if it is possible to weaken/ get rid of/ heal of the solver, then why kill Uzi? and Tessa had a clear desire to get rid of the Uzi. in essence, she gave him free rein, saying that he will make the choice, but at the same time she said that he would have to choose the universe

after which he cuts off her head, with an X on his visor. it was intense. the robot disobeyed his boss and a good friend. not fully understanding who the person you knew for a long time was. did you make the right choice

he immediately woke up from shock when he saw Uzi's hand on the cross and started helping her get up. his voice sounds pitiful, worried, but at the same time joyful, since he saw her again after what happened. N's voice trembles a little, but he still sounds sincere. he doesn't want to scare her off again

oh yeah and now that line is heartbreaking- he extends his hand to her, he needs her and emphasizes the word "you"

when watching the teaser his "together?..." at the end of the phrase sounded uncertain, pleading, as if he wasn’t sure that she would agree to solve everything together. but now, watching it, I hear in his “together?” hope and joy, as if he understands that it is with her that he can overcome everything and figure things out, and he is glad that he was able to find her and she did not reject him. at the words "to figure things out.." he sounds uncertain, lost and a little sad, but then he sees her placing her hand in his. his cross disappears and at the same time he blushes. she was able to calm him down from shock simply by touching his hand.

i know that before this I made a post “if a character blushes it doesn’t mean they're in love” and I’m a little embarrassed, but damn.. it really looks like that in here, right? we know that Uzi was the first one who started to fall in love with him and after some time he started to develop feelings for her. and at this point he may have accepted it

and should I mention that they immediately lace their fingers together, whereas the last time they held hands it was very awkward for them?

and then he smiles

#murder drones #murder drones ep 7 #nuzi #serial designation n #uzi doorman #biscuit bites #evele stuff

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formulapai · 6 months

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24 REASONS I LOVE YOU!

some Lando Norris fluff headcanons🧡

scenario: 24 reasons you love Lando for his 24th birthday

warning:

pai’s words: happiest birthday to our papaya man, may health and joy fill your days 🧡

1. His laugh

It’s not supposed to be funny, especially not to you, but it’s early in the morning and you’ve spent the night playing video games with him, not resting for a minute or two. With a tired mind and bleary eyes, you stare as your character gets ejected off the track for the nth time this game, the lakitu riding a cloud getting you back on the track. Only for your Daisy to fall a few meters later. This plants the last nail in the coffin and Lando lets his explosive giggles fall free from his mouth, slapping his thigh and doubling over. You’re frustrated, tired and cranky, so really, this shouldn’t make you laugh. But he’s almost rolling in the floor, and his laugh is so contagious, filling the room with its high pitched tone, and suddenly you’re cackling with him as the race is still going on, both of your characters stopped in the middle of the track.

2. His eyes

The storm is raging outside their bedroom, angry flashes of white slipping through the closed curtains. The sky is playing a fast paced symphony, each booms louder than the last. It’s getting closer, or so the medias say, and the lump in your throat is getting bigger. Your heart is doing somersaults in your chest, you can feel your stomach drop at each noise, each flash of light. You’re laying in the middle of the bed, immobilized by your fear of storms, while your boyfriend is still unaware of it all, playing with Max, his headset blocking the sounds. It takes a blackout, and a single screech coming from you at the loss of comfort provided by your bedside lamp, to have him rush to you, apologies hanging on his lips. Only when he lays beside you, firm hands holding your face as he murmurs reassurances, you feel at peace, his sparkling eyes staring directly into yours. You may not be enamored with lightning, but you have to admit that the way it lights his blue eyes up at every strike, angry white flash instantly softened by the calm blue, is mesmerizing.

3. His hands

The crowd is particularly loud as you make your way to the paddock, left hand locked with your dear’s right one. You’re not particularly a fan of big crowds and packed spaces, but this is part of the contract, and the price’s worth the trouble. Singapore is buzzing with life and chatters, Lando barely containing his joy at the prospect of seeing his coworkers, his friends, and racing despite the weather. During all weekend, his hands act as your anchor, wether it’s resting on your waist, wrapped around your wrist, caressing your back or ruffling your hair to annoy you.

4. His words of encouragement

It’s a known fact that Lando is transparent about his mental health, doing his best to encourage fans and other drivers, public figures, to speak up about their struggle. He’s doing the exact same thing with you, always ready to listen to your ranting and give you some advices. Even when he’s particularly low, he’s pushing you to open up and share your every thoughts.

5. His friends

Now, this might sound strange. But Lando really knows how to surround himself with kind souls, having learned from past mistakes. Max, in particular, is someone you’re fond of to your boyfriend’s despair. One of your favorite thing to do together is make fun of him, during livestreams and off, he can never get one second of peace when you’re together.

6. His sass

This one is fully expected with him, but it never fails to amuse you. You’re at a club tonight, celebrating a night off while your boyfriend’s acting as a DJ. You’re hanging out with your favorite girls, Lily and Carmen, their respective boyfriends away to get some drinks while you’re dancing the night away. In the corner of your vision, you see a man coming your way, his intention very clear with the way he’s staring at you, so you choose to ignore it and fully turn to your girls. The man’s attempts at approaching you is not lost on Lando either, and he’s pleased to see him stop dead in his track when he notices the song the DJ is now playing, an electro remix clearly telling him to fuck off. He can’t hide his smug smirk when their eyes meet.

7. His moles

He’s laying next to you in the messy bed, sweat clinging to his skin, the morning sun hitting his back and highlighting his many moles. Both of you are spent, well loved and content, and as Lando moves to snuggle his face in your chest, your hands naturally come to stroke his back, circling around his moles, making him giggle.

8. His little notes

It happens whenever he’s leaving before you wake up, only for you to find out later. He likes to steal your “pretty writing stuff” and leaves you small notes in the kitchen, in the living room, right bedside the entryway, even in your bathroom. It ranges from I love you’s to random facts he knows you’re going to ask him about, and he knows he’s right when he receives texts from you later during the day.

9. His kisses

While you love each and every of his kisses, the ones he leaves on your lips in his driver’s room, almost late to his interviews are your favorite. He wants to stay by your side until the very last second, basking in each other while everyone is waiting for him. He doesn’t care about getting nagged at by his team, he only wants to enjoy your lips and takes his sweet time doing so.

10. His jpg account

Well, it quickly became a fan account dedicated to you after you announced your relation. He spends hours touching his photos up, sharing his thoughts with you about contrast, shadows and whatsoever. When he’s chilling on the couch, head resting on your lap, he takes his phone out and answers some comments, showing you funny ones, and mindlessly scrolling through his own account to admire his artwork once more.

11. His scent

It’s a known fact that he mixes all his perfume together, he proudly talks about it during interviews. While it sounds strange and not appealing at all, the notes of his perfumes all go surprisingly well together, creating a deep, masculine fragrance. It slowly clings to each and every one of your furniture and clothes, warming your heart.

12. His curls

He’s had some questionable haircuts but he learned to appreciate his curls and now can’t go back, not that you’re complaining. It stays in a fluffy mop on top of his head, shiny and silky. You won’t admit it but you clearly are jealous of his curls, so defined and soft when he doesn’t even do anything special to it. You found yourself running your fingers through it more often than not, letting him bask in the attention as he nearly purrs.

13. His teammate

Once again, strange thing to say. But Oscar is a special someone to you, and to your relationship most importantly. He was the first to know about his crush, much more observant than he lets on, and the one to watch it all unfolds before his eyes.

14. His sisters

They’re your sisters too, now, having adopted you even before you two were aware of your feelings. You have a special space for them in your heart, and so does Lando. While he’s not often free, when he is and it’s coordinated with his sister Flo competitions, he’s the first one to show up with you by his side. Both of you are also making time for Cisca, the oldest sister, and she absolutely adores you for that.

15. His brother

Oliver is pretty busy, but he’s always thrilled to have you around. He completely trust you to take care of Athena and Mila with Lando, secretly betting with his sisters about when you’ll have a child, or if you’ll have any at all. You once had to call him up in the middle of the night, after you accidentally broke Lando’s sim when you tripped on it, he wasn’t pleased.

16. The rest of his family

Obviously, you can not NOT put them. They make you feel welcomed and safe at all times, truly happy their boy has found someone like you to share his life with. You two are good for each other and they all know it, considering you part of the family from the very beginning.

17. His hatred towards fish

Not because you share it, but because you find it absolutely hilarious. Even now, Carlos still brings it to the table every chance he gets, and Lando stands his ground while you make fun of him. At this point, you know he’s too stubborn to ever admit he might not hate it as much as he claims, and he’ll die on that hill if he has to.

18. His driving habits

You’re in his car, a true passenger princess as he drives the vehicle around the south of France. The windows are down and music is blasting from the radio, he has one hand stroking your thigh while you’re munching on some snacks he stocked up especially for you. He’s careful with his turns as he knows your coffee is still full and at risks of spilling, and he parks under a tree so you won’t complain about the burning leather seat when you come back in the car. He knows your habits as well as you know his, and it’s a match made in heaven.

19. His love for dogs

Yes, you’re more of a cat person, but seeing him with cute dogs is the best part of your day. Ie he could have a tail, it’d be wagging as hard as the puppy’s he’s currently petting. He doesn’t want any pet yet, it’s not ideal with your lifestyle, which explains his joy when he sees one in the street. Fans know this by now, so more often than not, they come and see you two accompanied with their dog and it never fails to put a smile on his face.

20. His understanding nature

Sometimes all you need is some peace and quiet, alone in your bed. Lando knows it, and while he much prefers when you talk to him, he respects your needs and patiently waits for you while he busies himself. He knows you’ll come to him when you’re ready, he also knows he sometimes acts the same way, which makes him well aware of how you might feel if he pressures you into talking.

21. His shirts

It’s a common occurrence now, you steal them too often to pretend you do not do it on purpose. He knows it and it amuses him deeply, to see you prance around in his shirt as if you own it, even if you kind of do by now. If he buys some clothes by two so he can still match with you when you steal them, it’s a secret.

22. His texts

They can be tooth rotting sweet, but they can also be completely unhinged. He’s not good at answering his friends or his team, but he’s a pro when it comes to you. Bonus points for the memes oh himself he sends at random hours of the day.

23. His brand

Quadrant is his pride and joy, and it’s now yours too. If it were up to you, you’d be a human advertising panel, wearing the merch from head to toe. He’s always so proud when seeing people in the streets wearing some of his shirts, and secretly takes photos so he can show them to you when he’s able to.

24. His love

It’s sweet and warm, electric and hypnotizing, it’s all you ever wanted before meeting him. He loves like he does everything else, with his whole soul. He’d take the world down for you if you ever asked him to, he’d do everything he could to make you happy. He’s clumsy at times, unsure and careful, but he’s trying his best to be the one for you, even if he already is. He loves you with everything he has.

#lando norris x reader #lando norris #lando norris fluff #f1 fluff #f1 x reader #f1 imagine

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pageofheartdj · 9 months

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The movie happened in a few months after the Shredder attack and I think this is interesting to see, how everyone deal with the loss of their home and Gram-Gram. Didn't think about it before, but movie gives some insight!

Raph is paranoid/tries to overprepare.

It's all about training-training-training because he can't let anything bad happen again and he NEEDS his brothers to be as prepared as possible to be able to defend themselves!

When the mysterios attack happened, Leo, Donnie and Mikey just stood their confused while Raph panickly jumped in front of the closest ones to try and shield them from whatever it is. When Splinter got hurt, he demanded everyone to retreat.(he was partly right but also partly wrong, it was a bad situation no matter what you choose)

(And Raph faced it by basically being the one who needs to be saved despite his trainings and how he most likely put himself as the responsible one for safety of their family)

Leo is in denial.

He refuses to acknowledge anything bad happening, or it happened but they were totally awesome with nothing negative happening as a result either way. But the only way to properly ignore it is to go out to have fun and eat pizza, their old routine.

When Raph was taken he refused to acknowledge the severity of the situation and rushed back. When they were surrounded by krang monsters, he once again refused to acknowledge how bad things are and was blindly pushing forward.

(And Leo faced it by being forced into situation where he can no longer pretend he Got this. He has to go in fight with fully understanding what this means for him and his family)

Donnie is avoidant.

I am pretty sure relocating into new lair and making it livable fell solely on Donnie's shoulders. And I am sure he gladly jumped into work to be useful to the family(even though it chipped away his time for his own needs like repairing Shelldon, whose head is just laying around on the floor).

His avoidance was mostly shown in him becoming more touch-aversed. In the show he was 90% of the time up for a hug and touch. In the movie he more often showed discomfort, the hugs with his family didn't bring relief like it used to.

(And Donnie faced it quite literally by turning his exposed back, his shell that despite his armor was easily reached and probably hurt by Shredder, to the enemy, not only allowing the contact, but submerging into it.

And after everything was over the hug from his family once again brought relief.)

Mikey is repressed.

We know the boy has NO problem letting everyone know when he is angry and mad! But in the movie with all the Leo-Raph fighting, with things always going wrong, he barely showed any strong negative emotion besides fear and uncertanty.

Mikey was always the openly sensitive one and he was trying his best by not adding more negativity to the fragility of their family.

He was forcing positivity and support.

Once he found out about his future mystic abilities, he latched onto them, hoping to be more of use to his family, to protect them.

(And Mikey faced it by allowing himself to be fully angry, by not giving up on Leo, channeling these emotions into finally unlocking his mystic hands!)

I also love the comparison of Leo as past and Raph as future in that one post. Leo is clinging to the past, to how things used to be, ignoring the present. And Raph was looking too much into possible future dangers, ignoring the present.

And Donnie and Mikey are the present. The ones who actually are trying to take care of their physical and emotional needs, while neglecting their own in the process.

They are the present, so they connect past and future. They tried to be there for both Raph and Leo. Training with Raph and playing games with Leo.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt raph #rottmnt leo #rise mikey #rise raph #rise donnie #rise leo

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writer-in-theory · 10 months

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inspired by a conversation i had with @serenity-lattes over a fic i'm writing

"Hey, Steve, why didn't you tell us you had a brother?"

There were a lot of things that Steve still didn't know about his family. He didn't know his great-grandparents moved to the United States from Italy until he had to do an ancestry project his senior year, and he'd just learned last week that there were others on his mother's side with hearing loss like him. Still, Steve knew that despite all the secrecy, there was no way he had a secret brother.

"I don't have a brother," Steve told Robin as much, coming back into the living room to see Robin and Eddie huddled over something. "What makes you think that?"

"Harrington, I think dear ol' dad's lying to you," Eddie teased, handing over the paper they were staring at.

Birth Certificate

This is to certify that Robert Steven Harrington Jr weighing 8 lbs. 13 oz. was born on the 13th day of December to Robert and Theresa Harrington in the year of 1967.

"How the hell did you find my birth certificate?" Steve balked, watching his best friend and boyfriend stare at him like he had two heads.

"Your birth certificate?" Robin repeated, eyes drifting back down to stare at the paper in his hands.

"Who else's would it be? Am I missing something?" It wasn't too uncommon for Steve to miss the joke, especially with people as quick-witted as Robin and Eddie. Still, this one seemed particularly confusing to even the others, with all three of them staring at each other in complete cluelessness.

"No, no, no," Eddie spoke up then, snatching the certificate out of Steve's hands and holding it up to the light like that might make reading it easier. "There is no way I'm dating a Robert."

Wait...

"You thought my legal name was Steve?"

Was that all this was? Steve didn't fully understand the big deal, especially since he'd never once gone by his legal first name. Even as a kid his parents were calling him Steven, eventually caving and calling him Steve as he wished by the time he entered middle school. He thought everyone had known by now, what with Tommy choosing to call him 'Robert' whenever he was upset with Steve.

"Why would I think anything else? Steven Harrington, how could you not tell me!" Robin shouted, playfully hitting his shoulder when all he did was laugh.

"Robert Harrington," Eddie corrected, immediately pulling a groan from his boyfriend.

"Uh uh, you're not calling me that," Steve decided, taking the certificate back and tucking it away in the drawer where they'd found it. Tomorrow he'd have to dig through the house and hide anything else he didn't want them to see, including any pictures his mother might have left lying around.

"How about Junior?" Robin tried, bursting into laughter at Eddie's responsive cackle. "I mean, who knew someone would go by a nickname of their middle name?

"Are you two done yet?" Steve groaned, tipping his head back to look at the ceiling.

"Aw, c'mon, Robbie, you love us." That was Eddie judging by the arm quickly slung over Steve's shoulders and the kiss planted firmly on his cheek. "I just can't believe you didn't tell us that Stevie isn't your name."

"Stevie has never been my name," Steve laughed, stepping away from Eddie's hug and laughing when the man's arms reached out to hold onto him tighter. "I'll take it over Robert."

"I knew you loved it, baby," Eddie teased, laughing at Steve's expression.

Then Steve grinned, turning to face Eddie so he could lean in close. Right as Eddie licked his lips in anticipation of a kiss, Steve patted his cheek and said, "Baby, you didn't even know my name."

He and Robin laughed until they could hardly breathe, but Eddie was the one laughing when he had the entire Party calling Steve "Rob" the next morning.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #stranger things #steddie ficlet

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pinkrasberryfish · 2 months

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So…

The dynamics of ships… why is Elriel a good fit for the ACOTAR series? Why is it just as intriguing and beautiful as Feysand or Nessian? I’ve written hours and hours of Elriel fan fiction, exploring dynamics and tropes, and I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface of their potential.

It’s established that our High Lady is a fighter. Feyre can physically fight for herself. She beat the Weaver which showed her mate that she was worth of the engagement ring and fought the Wyrm while her mate watched. She defended the Rainbow. She even won the war with Hybern through fighting. There are countless times where Rhys has sat back and let his girl go out swinging.

Then we have Nesta. Nesta is feisty and learns to fight for herself. She wields the mask, becomes a Valkyrie, and even goes through the Blood Rite. Cassian didn’t swoop in and save her… he let her fight.

Now Elain. Our girl needed rescuing. She did not fight her way out of the Hybern camp through cunning and brute strength. Azriel swooped in and saved her. And you best believe if she had been plunked into the Rite, Azriel would have come and saved her immediately. She is never incited on physical fighting missions like the Battle of Adriata and the closest she has gotten to blood was stepping out of shadow to stab the King of Hybern.

Now.

Does that make you uncomfortable? Does Elain needing help make you think less of her? Is she weak because she’s not like her sisters? Is that why everyone is wanting another story with a Valkyrie falling in love with a bat boy?? Because our other heroine is too weak and needs to be shipped off to a controlling high lord in spring ??????

This is what frustrates me.

Physical protection and physical fighting is not the only way to show strength.

Nesta was WRECKED after the Cauldron. She was self-destructive and cruel. Elain seemed to struggle but eventually healed through her hobbies and natural processing of everything. Even the loss of her fiancé, she recovered from. She is mentally strong.

Feyre too, has had moments of weakness. She could have physically run out of that wedding, but her mental bondage kept her walking down the aisle. Rhys had to intervene and save her in her moment of desperation. Elain could be walking down an aisle to Lucien right now, but she’s not. She’s choosing her own path and showing mental strength.

The fact that Azriel has rescued Elain physically and the fact that she cannot fight does not make her a less powerful or valuable female. Measuring women by their ability to perform historically-masculine acts is misogyny. She does not need to conform to the masculine power standard of 90’s feminism to be worthy of her own bat boy.

The beautiful thing about Elriel is that they have both been cast aside, despite being loyal to their core, Azriel to Mor for centuries and Elain to a gross human loser who broke her heart. They love even when it hurts. Even when it’s not reciprocated.

This dynamic feeds into their bond beautifully because in each other, they find what they’ve always needed—someone who wants them and sees them and chooses them above everything else.

Azriel will always physically protect Elain and champion her mental and emotional needs, but I believe Elain has the power to save Azriel too; to open up a side of life for him where he is desired and love— where he is protected and listened to and nurtured. A place where someone chooses him above everything else.

This is why Elriel is just as beautiful as Feysand or Nessian. It’s not unequal and Azriel doesn’t need a Valkyrie to “match his strength.” Elain is already strong.

#elriel #elriel forever #pro elriel #elain archeron #elriel supremacy #pro elain #elain x azriel #elain #pro azriel #azriel and elain #Elriel thoughts #Elriel rants

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maxislvt · 7 months

Text

Fallen into Lust

pairing(s): fallen angel!succubus!agatha harkness x angel!reader

summary: curiosity didn't fare well in heaven, but agatha always had a burning desire to learn more. it was only a matter of time before the angels properly kicked agatha out of heaven. despite what you insist, being pushed from heaven changes an angel even if they hadn't properly fallen.

warnings: religious imagery and discussion, smut, loss of virginity, afab!reader, innocence kink, fingering, oral sex

a/n: shout out to literally the best baby big sister ever @our-blood-is-our-ink for requesting this. I love it so much.

Event Masterlist

Agatha was always an intelligent angel. She was curious about everything since the day she was created. She chewed curiously on her halo and plucked the feathers of her archangel's wings to examine the gold-dusted feathers.

It was safe to say she never grew out of that phase. She'd read just about every version of the holy book she could get her hands on. Even the ones written by humans that were foolish and twisted the words of her lord. Agatha wanted to know more. She'd sneer at how carelessly humans would write their baseless ideals amongst words so pure and sacred. It was frustrating to see that nearly every holy book had been tainted by the violence of humans.

To make matters worse, not a single deity, angel, or god seemed worried about it. Some of them were bad enough to encourage or profit from it. They placed bets and laughed as their creations slaughtered each other senselessly.

Despite their holy status, many other angels didn't seem to care. Agatha's concerns were often met with scuffs and eye rolls. Not a single heavenly body cared as much as she did. Their hatred was so intense they began turning Agatha away. Some would turn their backs on her.

Not you, though. You were different. Agatha's proclamations were above you, but you were kind enough to stand up for her. When the other angels would gossip or go out of their way to exclude Agatha, you'd be right there to defend her. Maybe you couldn't wrap your head around human politics, but you at least tried to listen. That was all Agatha cared about. You stayed. Even when her rants were incomprehensible and nothing more than a string of frustrated scuffs and grunts.

Unfortunately, you were pretty popular amongst the other angels. It wasn't a shock. You were practically the perfect angel: kind, understanding, innocent. They'd huddle around you like you were the Messiah just to coo at you and praise you for the most minor thing. Agatha hated it. Not because you didn't deserve that praise, but because she was jealous.

Jealousy was a two-sided street. Every Time you dared to choose Agatha over your friends, she'd have to deal with it. They'd scold her endlessly for taking you away and corrupting you with her "nonsense."

You'd only vaguely known about the conflict. Your friends would grumble about your tardiness or absence, and Agatha would always give you vague answers when you asked why she didn't get along with your friends. It was nothing more than a personality conflict in your head. Agatha was hungry for knowledge, but your friends were much more easygoing.

Personality conflicts don't end with ripped wings and cracked halos.

The day Agatha was brutally shunned from the community of angels was quiet. It made your stomach churn. The other angels said nothing, but you could feel something was off. You spent the entire day roaming around heaven. Then you found something.

Surrounded by torn feathers and liquid gold laid a deformed halo. You didn't think twice before leaping off the clouds of heaven into the earth. Only gods had the authority to banish someone from heaven. If their halo was still glowing, they'd been pushed off.

You searched the thick forest for any sign of a fellow angel—feathers, blood, or maybe even another halo. Instead, you found something worse. A silver ring with AH engraved on it.

Agatha had fallen.

𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪

"Agatha, Agatha!"

Your voice was hoarse at this point. There was no telling how long you'd been screaming. Time was irrelevant to you know. All that mattered was finding Agatha. Even if she was dead, somebody had to pay for their crimes. The golden trail of blood confirmed your fears. Agatha wasn't cast out of heaven; she'd been pushed.

"Agatha! Oh, thank heavens you're alive!" The relief of finding Agatha was short-lived. You ran over and immediately tried to help her onto her feet. "Come on, I have to get you back to heaven, and I'll report whoever did this to you." A frown overtook your face when Agatha pushed you away.

"I can't go back up there. I've fallen." Her voice was weak, and she could barely stand upright. Agatha leaned against the tree for support to avoid staining your sweater. "You..you shouldn't be with me either. Just go back up there and pretend I don't exist." The words left a bitter taste in her mouth. Being alone was a pretty scary thought, but she couldn't risk you being tainted by Earth. "I've fallen. I couldn't go back up even if I wanted to."

Your chest felt tight. "No, just because you fell from heaven doesn't mean you're a fallen angel! I saw your halo before I came down there; it was still glowing!" You frantically searched your satchel for gauze and something to clean the wound. "I just have to get you patched up, and then-"

Agatha's hand reached out and caressed your cheek. "You can't carry me back to heaven by yourself. At least give me some time to heal first." She could never bring herself to make you upset. Deep down, she knew there was no way she could return. Part of her didn't even want to. Even if God extended his grace to her, there was no telling how the other angels would react to her return. "I know somewhere for you to take me."

The walk was sad and slow.

Agatha seemed reasonably adjusted to living on Earth. She didn't doubt herself as she guided you through the never-ending forest. She wasn't concerned about wildlife or getting lost, even in her weakened state. You would've mistaken her for a nymph if you hadn't known better. It only took about an hour of walking for you to figure out why Agatha was so relaxed.

She had a cabin. It was pretty large, but you could tell that Agatha used every square inch of it. The shelves were jam-packed with books of all kinds in many different languages. Even though the kitchen was spotless, you could tell she'd been using them for a while. The decor felt so natural to her. All the deep purple furniture was taken care of, but not brand new.

You were glad Agatha had somewhere to rest while she recovered, but you felt excluded from her life. Agatha was your closest friend. It wasn't right to feel so alienated in her space.

Agatha limped to her room before collapsing on the bed. All the pain from walking with untreated wounds had started to catch up to her. Angels healed fast, but without her halo, she'd be bedridden for weeks. "I've always wanted to take you down here," She confessed.

It made you smile. "I appreciate that." The smell of holy alcohol was awful, but you had to commit. "This is going to burn a bit." You rubbed the alcohol-soaked towel against the ripped skin where Agatha's wings should've been. It was hard to look at, but you suffered through it for her sake. Every feather you plucked came with a hushed apology and a kiss on her back. "They'll grow back soon…I promise."

Agatha didn't have much faith but wouldn't bring you down with her nihilism. She wasn't even sure you knew what that was. "It'll be a long time until then." She raised her arm so you could tend to the rest of her wounds. She didn’t want to push you away. She didn’t want to suffer another beating, either. There was no telling what being on Earth would do to your mind. Angels were strong, but you were definitely on the softer side. It would be nothing for you to fall victim to the whim of a mountain lion or any other of god’s wild creations. Heaven was the only place for someone as pure and perfect as you.

You rolled Agatha onto her back so you could see her face. “I don’t mind waiting,” you said. There was a long pause as you thought about what you had said. “Well,” you said, bracing for rejection, “I wouldn’t mind waiting with you.” Earth was new to you, but you figured it’d be no issue if you stayed in the cabin the whole time. Agatha was the only reason you were down here. You had no interest in anything else.

She let out a defeated laugh. How could she ever say no to you? Her hands wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer. “You’ll have to go back to heaven eventually,” she warned. It didn’t hold much water. All you had to do was pout, and you could easily make Agatha change her mind, but she at least had to pretend she wasn’t on the edge of spoiling you rotten. “Every day you spend down here is a day you must stay in heaven, got it?” Agatha extended her pinkie finger out to you. She didn’t know where you got the idea of a pinkie promise, but it was cute.

Without thinking, you wrapped your pinkie around Agatha’s. You knew it was only a matter of time before Agatha started a pinkie promise. “And you said you’d never start a pinkie promise!”

Agatha fondly rolled her eyes. "I'll always make an exception if it means keeping you safe."

𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪

Leaving Agatha was hard, but returning to her was confusing.

You had spent two weeks on Earth with Agatha before she forced you to return to heaven. It was a dreadfully long time without her. You occupied yourself with your heavenly duties, but not even those could distract you from how much you missed her.

When you finally saw her again, Agatha looked different. Her hair was curlier and seemed to be growing by the second. You also noticed there were bags under her eyes. It wasn't typical for an angel's appearance to change so drastically unless they were promoted.

"Do you think you'll become an archangel when you return?"

Agatha stopped chopping the vegetables in front of her. She knew you would notice the way she was changing. You weren't dumb. Just uneducated. Agatha hated how everyone in heaven fawned over you; she wanted to protect your innocence. "Maybe, but if anyone gets promoted to archangel, it should be you." She cut off the end of a carrot before handing it to you. "You were only here two weeks, and there's already vegetables growing around here."

You tentatively chewed on the carrot. Then you lit up.

Literally.

Your excitement was too much to contain and showed in the form of a blinding light admitted from your halo. It filled the entire cabin within seconds and lasted nearly a whole minute.

Agatha rabidly blinked and rubbed her eyes. "That's one way to say they taste good," she chuckled.

You frowned. "I didn't realize Earth was so dim." Heavenly light was the brightest light imaginable. Agatha should've been used to such brightness, but you brushed it off as her eyes adjusted to the forest's darkness. "It's nice to see something that's not white, gold, or silver, but the forests are so dim down here."

As the day went on, you started noticing other changes about Agatha.

Being on Earth changed her preferences a bit. When you two would read together, the books were usually nonfiction. It wasn't uncommon for you to sit down and read through an entire book about alchemy or astronomy. It was always fun to watch humans scramble and debate about their inaccuracies about the planet they lived on.

Now, Agatha seemed interested in more fictional things. Romance was her go-to for reading. You didn't mind it. Love was beautiful, even if it was trapped between print and paper. The problem was that the novels would get weird. Not bad, but sometimes you needed help understanding what was happening.

The only way you'd learn is by asking.

"I don't know what this means," you confessed. The blush on your face was from shame. Agatha had taught you so much, yet you didn't understand such a simple book. "The words make sense, but I can't figure out what they're doing." You sunk back into Agatha's chest and looked away from the book. This was the third book where the actions were almost impossible for you to imagine. You should've said something sooner, but it embarrassed you.

"That's okay. What don't you understand?" Agatha was quick to spread your thighs. "It's very physical; it's easier to explain if I can do it to you." Her hands massaged your thighs in just the right way to get you to relax. The thought of touching you had become overwhelming. Agatha was starting to feel things she'd never felt before. She'd heard many names for it. Love, lust, desire. All of them were genuine feelings, but she wasn't sure which one described how she felt. "Don't be shy. I won't judge you."

You turned back a few pages and scanned them to find one of the words. "Well, a lot of it doesn't make sense. What's a clit, and what does fingering mean in this context? I thought you fingered instruments. How do you do that to a person?" You flipped back even further. "And why does it say she's wet all the time? Does she have a bladder problem?"

Agatha could only smile. She rolled down your shorts until the top was at the middle of your thighs. It was indeed a blessing how thin the underwear in heaven was. Her thumb rubbed tight circles around your clit. "This is your clit. It's a bunch of tiny little nerves down there." She wrapped her free arm around your waist to keep you still. "It's really sensitive, so you have to be careful." Feeling your squirm and wiggle was so much fun. "And if you keep rubbing it just right-"

"I feel sticky!" You would've jumped out of Agatha's lap if she wasn't holding you. A strange buzzing formed under your skin. It was so warm and inviting but so bold and new at the same time. Sitting still was nearly impossible. "Is it supposed to be sticky," you asked frantically.

Agatha rubbed your stomach to ease your frantic nerves. "You're fine. Everything is fine. That's what it feels like when you're wet." Just one finger had a difficult time slipping into your cunt. You were untouched. Free of corruption and ready to be claimed. She kissed up the side of your neck to ease your nerves. "When you start moving, that counts as fingering."

A shaky breath tumbled from your lips. You were too overwhelmed to speak. It felt like a tight knot under your stomach, and you just wanted to pull the right string and watch it all unravel. Agatha was close to hitting the right spot, but you were too shy to ask.

Just before that knot could unravel, Agatha pulled her fingers away. She reveled in the way your breathing staggered. You were a mess — her mess. "Does that answer your question?"

You cleared your throat and took a deep breath. "Um, I think that's everything." It was far from everything, but you weren't even sure where to start. So you just sat there in silence. You're too flustered to pretend to read anymore. "Can we go for a walk after we finish this chapter? I need to clear my head."

"Anything for my superstar," she said. Agatha was a bit disappointed she couldn't play on your curiosity, but she had plenty of time to teach you. It wouldn't be long before Agatha had you begging for it.

𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪𓆩♡𓆪

"You're a succubus."

It's not an accusation. Rather, you stated a fact that had taken you almost four months to realize, but the truth nonetheless.

Agatha stopped reading as she pondered what you said. She wasn't an angel anymore, and being a human wasn't possible. It would explain her seemingly unsatisfiable appetite and the constant desire to have you. Though she could feel her body was changing, it appeared rather underwhelming. "I guess you're right."

You sat up and looked down at Agatha. "You'll never be able to come back to heaven." It broke your heart. All you wanted was to be with Agatha forever. How was that supposed to happen if she was stuck on Earth — or worse, be forced to live in hell? Your chest tightened, and you felt hot tears prick the corners of your eyes.

"Don't cry. Nothing is going to change between us." Agatha wiped away your tears. "I promise what we have down here is much better than anything we could make up there." She kissed your lips firmly. Heaven was the least of her concerns. Agatha wanted to be with you. It didn't matter where you two were. "Earth has the both of us, a nice cabin, and a magnificent garden. What else do we need?"

You sniffled as you considered Agatha's words. "B-but, who are you going to feed from? I don't want you running off and doing that with other people!" A moment of silence passed between the two of you. Then your face got hot. "I don't know how to do any of that stuff. Are you sure you want to do that with me?" Your face felt incredibly hot. Intimacy was a mostly unexplored area for you. "What if I'm so bad at it that you end up starving?"

"I don't think that's how it works," she said affectionately, "but I think it'd be better if we found out." Agatha pinned you down to the bed. It was much nicer having you underneath her. You looked like a scared doe. "You're too cute for your own good," she whispered before kissing you.

You held on to the collar of Agatha as you feverishly kissed her back. It felt good. You turned your head and tried to collect your breath. "Will it hurt?" You trusted Agatha, but you were terrified. "Do I have to take all my clothes off?"

"I'd never hurt you." Agatha immediately leaned down to attack your neck with open mouth kisses. She cursed the fact every angel in heaven was so nosy. All she wanted was to stake her claim over you, but there was no telling how they'd react. "I've seen you naked plenty of times before."

You chuckled nervously. "Yeah, but it's a little different when it's like this." Despite your apprehension, you let Agatha have her way. Each kiss she gave you caused goosebumps to rise. "Are you sure you've never done this before? It feels really good." A small gasp escaped your lips when Agatha's teeth dug into your hip bone. "Be nice!"

Agatha just huffed at you before making her way lower. She loved the plumpness of your thighs, but they were in the way of what she wanted. You were more than wet enough for Agatha to do as she pleased. "Fuck you taste so good," she moaned after licking a long strip up your slit. Two of her fingers eased inside your hole while her tongue lapped at your sensitive nub. "You're adorable."

Your body twisted and squirmed as Agatha pleased you. It felt weird being so wet. Your slick had ruined the bedsheets. "Agatha, I don't know if I can take more of this!" Your hand tangled in her hair. One moment you were pulling her away, and the next, you pushed her closer to your cunt. "I think something is happening!"

Agatha wrapped her arms around your thighs to keep them open. She continued her assault until the inevitable happened. Her tongue stuck out flat, so no matter which way you turned, your clit would run against it. Your cunt still sucked in her fingers as greedily as it did the first time. Not a single drop of your cum was wasted. Agatha would've easily pushed you into a second orgasm if it weren't for the particularly hard push you'd given her.

Your body collapsed against the bed. Once again, you had many questions, but all of them would go unasked. Not because of shame— that was long gone now—but rather because of how tired you were. Just the thought of speaking was too much for you.

Agatha looked down at you with nothing but love in her eyes. Your sweaty, desperate body was like art to her. It was the only thing she wanted to see. She leaned down and kissed you passionately. "You were more than enough for me. I never want to hear you doubt yourself again." Agatha slipped her arms underneath you and lifted you. "I know, but you have to get clean."

It was your turn to let out a defiant huff. Unlike Agatha, you didn't have a disobedient bone in your body. You let Agatha bathe and redress you, along with all the other little details she loved to fuss over. You felt so small and helpless, but you liked it. Everything felt right. Agatha could never return to heaven, but that didn’t matter. Home was down on Earth with the woman you loved the most. Being an archangel was just more work, anyway.

#agatha fanfic #agatha harkness smut #agatha harkness fanfiction #agatha harkness fanfic #agatha harkness #agatha harkness x reader #agatha harkness x you #Pluto's Halloween Bash 2023

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thetriumphantpanda · 9 months

Text

he doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman

In The Woods Somewhere | Chapter Two

Chapter Summary | Taking safety in a cabin, you struggle to come to terms with the loss of Edward. You think back to how you got here in the first place, and finally start to open up to Joel.

Chapter Warnings | Allusions to the death of a child, canon-typical violence, mentions of religious activity and a cult, mentions of blood, consumption of food, allusions to suicide, allusions to smut but nothing explicit, soft!Joel, PTSD.

Pairing | Joel Miller x F!Reader

Word Count | 3.7K

Authors Note | Truly having a whale of a time writing this one - there are definitely some darker elements to this which have actually been really exciting to try and put together. Bit of a cliffhanger at the end so I'd love to know what you guys think! If you enjoyed then please consider leaving comments, reblogging or popping into my ask box with your thoughts! And if you enjoyed, please consider supporting me with a tip through my Ko-Fi.

A reminder that I no longer use taglists - please follow @thetriumphantpandanotifs and turn on post notifications to know when I post new writing.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Ko-Fi

Joel doesn’t sleep, despite his assurances to you. He spends the night on his back, willing his body and his brain to be quiet enough to let him rest, but it doesn’t come. All he can do is replay the way your cries sounded, the way the boy sounded as he died, and how similar it was to how Sarah had sounded, when she’d died in his arms all those years ago. He’d been as useless then as he had been now. There was nothing he could do this time apart from crowd his body around the other children so they could see as little of what was happening as possible. He can’t help but think that if his hearing had been better, his reflexes quicker, this could have been avoided.

His chest starts to tighten again, in that way it always does when he thinks about Sarah, about how he failed her, how it was his fault she died. He takes a palm and tries to smooth it over his chest, taking deep breathes to try and calm himself. The last thing he needs right now is one of his episodes. You and the children might be sleeping soundly, but he thinks that you've not really travelled far enough to be out of danger yet. Anyone could stumble upon those bodies he left behind and come searching for revenge. He needs to stay focused. He needs to keep you safe.

He gives up on getting anymore rest when the sky starts to lighten outside. He quietly moves through the cabin, opening the cupboard he’d investigated when he was here before, pulling out two tins of peach pie filling that had been gathering dust since the end of the world. It wouldn’t be the most nutritious meal anyone would eat, but it would be enough to stave off the hunger pains until he could get out and find some meat from somewhere. He’s emptying the cans into a saucepan, ready to heat them up over a fire he’s yet to build when he’s drawn from his job by the creaking sound of the door.

You’re standing, a sheepish look on your face, clearly still tired from the way you rub at your eyes. The dress you wore yesterday is clutched in your grip, stained with dry blood. You’ve changed into another dress, this one is dark brown, a little shorter than the one before, falling at the middle of your calves, the sleeves just above your elbows. He wonders for a moment why you choose to dress the way you do, when mostly everyone else he’s ever encountered in the years that followed the outbreak went for outfits that were more practical, but the more he thinks about it, the more he likes it. Like he can almost convince himself that you’re from before, that this horrible world hasn’t touched you, that you didn’t just clutch a child to your chest as he died.

“I n-need to g-get these stains o-out.” Joel can tell now that he’s looking at your face that you’ve been crying, can tell by your voice that you're still crying. Understandable he thinks, he’d been the same in those days and weeks after Sarah.

Joel gives you a small, sympathetic smile as he abandons the tins of food for his backpack. He roots around in one of the side pockets, bringing out a packet of pills, which he offers out to you. You step forward tentatively, taking the packet, with an eyebrow raised.

“It’s aspirin,” Joel speaks, “If you crush a few of those and mix in some water, it makes a paste that can get those stains out.”

You nod and Joel watches as you head outside, stopping only to pick up a glass and a spoon. He’d noticed a bucket of water, which he assumes you’ve also noticed. He watches you from the window as you kneel on the porch, spreading the dress on the floor as you make the paste just as he instructed. He’s enthralled with the way you work, rubbing the paste onto the stains, rubbing until he thinks you’ll make your hands sore, before you dip it into the bucket to clean it.

When you’re done, you hang it over the railing. The blood isn’t completely gone, it’s just a little faded, but he thinks that it’ll do until he can get you back to Jackson and trade for something new. He catches himself in his thoughts, because he’s still not convinced you’ll actually follow him. He also doesn’t know why he’s so desperate for you to do so. Maybe it’s your beautiful face, the way all he’s wanted to do since you stepped out this morning was to cup your cheek and tell you everything would be okay. Maybe it’s the way you’re clearly a capable girl, you’ve kept your children alive for this long, he’s certain if it hadn’t been for him, you’d still have all four of them, you’d be an asset to the community if you were to follow him. He tries not to be selfish in his thoughts, it's for the community he thinks, and nothing to do with the way he's intrigued by you. Wants to peel back your layers, find out who hurt you, who caused the burn mark around your throat. Then, when he knows, he wants to trail his lips across it and tell you he won't let anyone hurt you again. He softly shakes his head as you return inside, shaking away the ideas of what might be if you follow him.

“I’ll go and wake them,” You speak softly, sniffing as you do, trying to cover your tears, “They’ve never had peaches,” You muse, nodding your head to the pan he’s currently heating, “So this might be interesting.”

Joel has so many questions he wants to ask. He wants to know where the hell you’ve been that the children haven’t eaten peaches from a can. Where they just follow blindly. He’s certain that wherever you’ve been, it’s got something to do with the scars that pepper the parts of your body he can see. Someone had hurt you, clearly, and though he knows little about you apart from your name, he doesn’t understand why anyone would lay a hand on you, the sweet girl you’re proving yourself to be.

You rouse the children, letting them come out into the lounge area in their sleep clothes, something forbidden where you’d come from. It was these small things, the things you’d had in the few years growing up in a normal world, like eating breakfast in your pyjamas, that you wanted to give them.

Joel sets a small bowl of warmed peaches in front of each of them, and a larger bowl for you and him. You sit opposite him at the end of the table, the three children sitting together. They clasp their hands together and say their prayer. Joel looks at you with a raised eyebrow as if to ask, ‘what the hell are they doing?’ but you shake you head. You can’t explain it to him, to someone you don’t know.

You bring one of the warmed peach slices to your mouth, chewing it slowly. It’s so sweet and juicy but just like last night’s meal, it sits in your stomach like lead. You can’t help but focus on the chair that’s not filled. Edward is gone. He would have loved peaches, is all you can think, as your eyes fill with tears again and threaten to spill over. You set your spoon down in your bowl and fit the heels of your palms into your eyes to try and stop them, pass the tears off as some kind of allergy or ailment.

You spend a good ten minutes pushing the rest of the measly portion of peaches around the bowl. Everyone else is long finished, and you’re about to offer the rest of yours to Joel when he speaks.

“Don’t even think about it,” He warns, but it doesn’t feel dangerous, especially when you meet his eyes and they’re full of concern, “You didn’t eat last night,” He points out, “So you’re not leaving the table until you’ve finished.”

It should annoy you, the way he’s infantilizing you, but it strangely doesn’t. Perhaps all those years of having it done to you before, under the guise of it being because someone cared about you, makes it feel normal. You know he’s only doing it because he cares. Why, you can’t figure out. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t feel like caring for your children if you were drop down dead of starvation. That must be it. So, you force yourself to eat the few slices in the bowl, no matter how much you want to throw up.

When you finally force yourself to swallow the last mouthful, Joel stands, chair scraping as he leans over to take your bowl. The children sit still as he takes theirs too, putting them into the sink to deal with later. The children are looking to you as to what to do. That’s their job, cleaning up once you’ve eaten. It always has been. They’ve never, until this moment, seen a man do anything to lift a finger to help, only to hurt. You hold up a hand to tell them not to worry, in time for Joel to turn around.

“You gonna be alright here?” He asks, “Gonna head out and see if I can find somethin’ for dinner.”

“We’ll be fine,” You assure him, “We’ve been okay before.”

He nods, “Any trouble, you use your gun, okay?” He instructs, pointing to your shotgun near the door, “I won’t go far, so I’ll hear if you shoot.”

You nod wordlessly and within a few moments, he’s gone, rifle slung over his shoulder, on the hunt. You spend the rest of the morning getting the children ready, sitting with them, attempting to try and carry on the lessons they’d always had with you, trying to keep things normal. You start with math, as you always do, and when they become restless you sit them down to read for them. Isabel has a nap in the early afternoon, Clara and Thomas opt to sit on the couch and read from one of the books you’ve already finished with them.

It's quiet, the air outside is still, so you leave them all where they are and go outside. The mound of earth where Edward’s body is buried calling to you. You sit down, knees pulled to your chest, just to the side. You put your hand on the earth, where you think his shoulder might be under all the dirt, let the earth fit between your fingers.

“I’m sorry.” You say again, just like you had yesterday, hoping that if there is a fucking God out there anywhere, that this will act as some kind of atonement, although you know there’s truly no way to atone for everything you’ve done to get here.

You stay there, rooted to the ground for what feels like hours, until you feel raindrops. You shake yourself from your daze long enough to register that you need to move, heading inside where Clara and Thomas have fallen asleep, her head rested on his shoulder. You check the bedroom; Isabel is also still fast asleep. If you were thinking about it, you probably should have woken them, knowing bedtime would be more of a challenge if they’d slept too long, but you just leave them as they are, at least if they’re asleep, they can’t look at you with sad eyes, begging to know why Edward isn’t here, why you didn’t do more, and why you’ve put your trust in a man you don’t know.

You were ten when the world imploded. You don’t remember much about it if you’re honest. You remember your father dying as he tried to get you and your mother to safety. Barreling you into his car as a rabid woman pinned him to the closed door and ripped his throat out. If you concentrate carefully, you can still hear the gurgle as he choked on his own blood, can still watch his body twitch as the life drains from him, only to be replaced with the new life of whatever those things were.

To her credit, your mother, through her tears and confusion, had stepped up, driven the car as far as she could until you ran out of gas. She was a completely different woman in those first few weeks. You didn’t really think about it until after, but she’d always been the meek kind of woman to just follow. Do as she was told. Look nice at dinner parties. That kind of woman. She’d stepped up though, gotten you both safely to the QZ in Salt Lake City, gotten you through the gates and into a home, worked as much as she could to get you as many ration cards as she could.

The glimpse of that strong woman was fleeting though. By the time you were fifteen, old enough to earn your keep alongside her, it was like a switch flicked inside her. She went back to the meek, mild-mannered woman you actually knew. When a particularly handsy FEDRA guard offered you extra ration cards to show him your tits, right in front of her, at fifteen years old, she’d shrugged it off, didn’t want to breach the peace. When the same FEDRA guard had punched you in the face a week later for refusing him again, she’d pressed a wet cloth into your hand, told you to hold it where it hurt, and said that you should give men what they wanted because it was easier, it would hurt less. Besides, it wasn’t like he wanted to fuck you, is what she’d said.

Five years later, when you were twenty, the QZ collapsed. The Fireflies took over, although seemed to only be interested in the area surrounding the hospital. The rest fell into disrepair, infected broke through unmaintained fences, and you’d had no choice but to flee. Everything you owned shoved into a single backpack. This time, it had been all you. With your mother trailing behind you, the map in your hand, you’d made it across the border into Wyoming just as winter started to take hold. You were the one who found the abandoned cabin, who had picked weapons and ammunition up on the way. You were the one who’d learnt to hunt on her own, kept you both fed. Learnt how to chop wood, set a fire, to keep you both warm.

She was the one that ruined it though. When the snows melted, and that man had come through. She’d greeted him on the porch like he was an old friend. You’d glared at him, pistol gripped in your hand in case he tried anything. He was old, or he seemed it, with his grey hair and his long grey beard. You’d thought that if he’d worn red he’d look like Father Christmas, but he was dressed in a long black coat, a white button up underneath it. He didn’t look like someone fit for survival who was just passing through, he looked like a religious man who was coming to knock on your door and tell you that The Lord would save you.

“Are you out here all alone, ladies?” He’d asked, stood at the bottom of the porch steps, entirely too close for your comfort.

You stand and speak first, because you don’t trust your mother, “We’re not alone.” She looks at you, asking through her eyes why you’re lying.

“Sure looks like you’re alone,” He comments with a smile, you know your mother will find it endearing, you just find it threatening, “Done awfully well to keep yourselves alive if you are.” Like he thinks his praise will help you trust him.

“What’s it to you?” You ask, a hand squeezing around your mother’s wrist to keep her quiet.

“Just out walking,” He shrugs, “We’ve got a little settlement, maybe two miles from here, it’s safe, like a family, we take care of each other, pool together to survive, would be a much better place for the two of you than being out here on your own.”

“We’re not on our own.” You say again.

He snorts, but smiles, you decide you already hate him, “I don’t expect you to trust me,” He speaks simply, “But at least think about it, I’ll come by in a week, give you chance to mull it over.”

Then, he’s leaving with a wave of his hand and a disgusting wink sent your mother’s way. She hadn’t spoken to him apart from to greet him, but he already knows she’s the weak one. Can sense she spent her entire life pleasing another man, doing what he said, trying not to rock the boat.

Later that night, when you’ve eaten and you’re warming yourselves in front of the fire, she finally opens her mouth to speak.

“I think we should go with him.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” You scoff, “We’re not going with him.”

“He said it was safe.”

“And if he asked you to follow him into a burning building, would you do it?” You snap, “We know nothing about him, we’re not going.”

But of course, you do, in the end. The first time he comes back, you once again tell him to get lost. The second time he’s there when you come back from hunting, talking to your mother on the porch. You suspect he’s been watching you, waiting for you to leave so he can strike at the weaker person. He mutters something to you about not needing to do that anymore if you follow him, they set traps, but it doesn’t make it any more enticing to you. The third time, your mother stands with you after and says she’s leaving when he comes back, whether you go with her or not.

So you do. You do go with her. Follow steps behind her and the man who finally introduces himself as John when you decide to go back with him. To this day, you wish you’d told her to go on her own. Wish you’d saved yourself the years of suffering just to follow behind a woman you thought loved you. Because she didn’t, there’s no way she loved you with what she let happen.

You’ve been sat on the couch, staring into the fire, for what feels like hours now. Children long to bed, everything cleaned up from dinner, sat in silence, almost listening to the way those flames call to you. You want to fling yourself into them, atone for what you’ve done, what you failed to do, it’s the only way to make the ache in your chest feel better. All day you’ve avoided looking at the raised earth of Edward’s grave, but all day you’ve been reminded of his loss.

When you read to the children, there were no questions about what would happen next, no-one to gently chastise for being impatient and tell that they just need to sit and listen to find out. The lack of his rambunctious laughter when you let them play outside, chasing each other around. They’d been subdued as well, missing their friend, their brother.

Joel sits at the other end of the couch, thumbing aimlessly through the book you’d been reading from earlier. You don’t think he’s interested at all, but it’s something to do for him you suppose.

“They’re good kids,” He sighs, trying to make conversation with you, “Never really known kids so well behaved.”

“They were raised that way.” You reply simply, quietly.

“They related?” He asks, you only nod in response, he sighs again, “It get’s easier, losing them.”

You can feel the tears welling in your eyes, you shake your head to try and get rid of them, but it only helps in working them from your eyes and down your cheeks. How can this get easier? Feeling like someone had cleaved your heart in two, how does that get easier?

“Maybe easier isn’t the right word,” Joel corrects himself, “But life gets easier, it takes time, and they’ll always be with you, but one day it won’t hurt at much.”

“You know a lot about it?” You almost spit at him, not really sure why you’re directing your anger to him when all he’s done is help, but he’s the only person here so he has to take the brunt of it.

“I lost my daughter,” He speaks quietly, staring into the flames just like you are, “On outbreak day, some FEDRA guard had orders to shoot on sight, we were just trying to get to safety, and he fired, shot right into her stomach and she bled out in my arms.”

The similarities between her death and Edward’s are not lost on you, can’t imagine the memories it must have dredged up for him as you screamed at Edward to stay with you, rocked his dead body in your arms whilst it covered you in blood. It makes you soften, just a little.

“I’m sorry.” You squeak, wiping at your cheeks.

“I’m sorry too,” He tries to reach out for your hand, resting on the empty couch cushion between you, but you pull your hand away into your lap before he can touch you, you can’t accept his comfort, not yet, because you know what that means, “I know it don’t make it any better, but there’s nothin’ we could have done.”

Suddenly, a sob racks through your body, shoulders shaking as you really cry this time, because he’s right. Even if you could have lifted Edward, got him back to the house, you’re not a nurse, whatever happened to him what going to happen anyway. You doubt whoever did the shooting was aiming at him anyway, an unfortunate accident, and maybe, in some sick way, you’re glad. You think of the alternative – they were aiming at you and didn’t miss and you died instead – the children, left with a man they don’t know – what would he have done? Or they were aiming at Joel – if he’d died then you’d surely have been taken, right? You and your children killed too, or forced into some kind of life of servitude, not unlike the one you’d had before. It’s sick, but maybe what happened was for the best, or at least that’s what you try and tell yourself as you try and calm the rampant sobbing from your body.

This time, when Joel tries to comfort you, dropping to his knees in front of you, you don’t stop him. He puts wide palms on your knees and squeezes to let you know he’s there whilst you try and control your breathing. You don’t want to wake the children up. It’s no use though, no matter what you do, you can’t calm yourself down – not even Joel’s warm touch, stranger though he is, can help.

“H-He…” You try and choke out, maybe the truth will help ease the pain, maybe this man in front of you can fix you if he knows the truth, “He w-was…” Another sob, another squeeze of Joel’s hands on your knees, “He was m-mine,” You cry out, “Edward w-was my b-baby.”

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daycourtofficial · 16 days

Text

Personal update below

Tw: pregnancy loss, miscarriage, blood

Here it is, the words I’ve been unable to type, much less say out loud. Late in the night a few nights ago, I woke up to some abdominal cramping and went to the bathroom. I had been bleeding vaginally all day, but not enough to be super concerned.

I woke up and went to the bathroom, and knew something was wrong. To spare the details, I was bleeding a lot, cramping severely, and I knew my baby was gone. I felt empty inside, despite only being about 7 or 8 weeks pregnant. Intuition, I suppose. I just felt so lonely, as if I wasn’t supposed to be the only occupant in my body.

My husband took me to the hospital and after hours of invasive poking, prodding, and testing, a nurse practitioner I will likely never see again, who will likely never think of me again, told me that my baby was gone. He was straight forward, which I like in medical personnel. He told me my pregnancy was unviable and that it’s common. That we shouldn’t worry. These things happen. It’s normal, common. The three or so minutes felt like an eternity, waiting for him to leave so I could fall apart in the privacy of my husband’s arms, despite the lack of privacy an emergency department offers.

The hospital was so sterile, the bright lights and lack of windows made it impossible for you to track the passage of time. The winding hallways a maze of monotony, making it impossible to know how to return to your room without a guide. The walls were devoid of any real color, save for tv screens and workplace posters. And yet, the room I was placed in was the only room with decorative curtains. All the other curtains were just a shade of navy.

Mine had flowers on it, as if the world or God or the hospital wanted to offer me some reprieve, some reminder that for the hospital, this was routine, but that it wasn’t routine for me. That I deserved something for my eyes to find comfort in.

So here it is, the new reality I find myself in. My baby is gone. The rare statement that, once it becomes true, will never change.

I’m reeling a bit from this loss, as you can imagine. I’m gutted. I got married right at the beginning of the year, falling pregnant not long after. I joked with my husband that I started the year off becoming a wife and was ending the year becoming a mom. I suppose it really was just a joke in the end, but I’m not sure if the punchline was me or my continued optimism, in spite all that I’ve endured.

Anyway, everyone was extraordinarily kind to me when I had posted that I was pregnant. I know that technically I don’t owe anyone details of my personal life, especially not this personal, but I wanted to share it because I don’t want to be sad and alone. And perhaps this will find its way to someone else who has felt some loss recently, whether it be the loss of someone or something, or a loss of self or identity, or a loss of the future you had planned out. Maybe they will feel some connection to this. Or maybe one day someone will think of this as they reel with their own loss.

I don’t regret sharing the news so early, despite the circumstances that have now led me to making this post. Any joy we can find is worth sharing, even if it’s fleeting, especially if it’s fleeting, and even if it’s for some stranger on the internet.

Anyway, I have my dogs and my husband, who are very loving. I’m not sure when I’ll post this, I’ll likely stick it in my queue somewhere so it feels less like I’m hitting the ‘post’ button and more like softly whispering all of this in the wind.

I will be okay, I always am. Grief is a black hole I am trying navigate and figure out where it ends and I begin, trying to remember what my new life will be like and how to grieve yet another version of myself lost to time and trauma and sadness.

There is no narrative device here, nothing I did could’ve changed the outcome. Sometimes the world is just needlessly cruel.

This doesn’t really affect anything on here or what I choose to interact with. I’m still okay discussing/reading/writing about babies and kids and everything in that realm. I just didn’t want anyone asking after the baby and making someone feel bad for wanting to know how I was doing.

Anyway, I don’t want to end this on a despairing note, even though that is the tune of my life at the moment. I want to remember that my now is not my forever, and I hope anyone reading this that is experiencing any manner of suffering takes as much out of that sentiment as I do.

Yours,

V ❤️

#personal note

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cursedonyx · 1 month

Text

How HL boys would react to you getting pregnant

Garreth Weasley

All Garreth wants is a big, happy family, though he makes sure it’s what you want as well. He does a very comical double take when you give him the news then he has a bit of a moment where he looks like he’s about to split in two because on the one hand, he wants to pick you up and whirl you around (then immediately tear your clothes off) but on the other he’s terrified of hurting you.

He is the most attentive, caring, adoring partner while you’re incubating. Nothing is too much trouble, and he’ll happily juggle all the housework and cooking while making sure your every need is met. He’ll rub your feet, carry you to bed, brush your hair and make you feel like the most desirable woman in the entire world. This won’t end after the kid’s born either – if anything, Garreth doubles his efforts. His energy and patience is limitless, but don’t take advantage of his kind nature. Garreth’s kids are his priority at the end of the day and should push come to shove, he will choose them over you.

Leander Prewett

When you give Leander the news, he’s completely dumbfounded. When it sinks in, he faints. Literally keels over and passes out. When he’s had a strong cup of tea and enough time to process he’s over the moon, practically giddy with happiness. For him, this is proof that you’re committed to him and him alone. He’s always been insecure, so to actually create a baby witch or wizard with you, merging yourselves into one brand new being is the ultimate expression of devotion for him. He’ll make a lot of mistakes along the way, but he tries very, very hard to get things right.

Amit Thakkar

He’s exceedingly nervous about the whole thing, but vows to do things properly. He’s attentive and caring and spends a ridiculous amount of time reading about the subject to try and help prepare you both as much as possible. Coming from a large and loving family himself, chances are his relatives are going to descend on the household and help out in whatever way they can – it can get a little overwhelming. If it’s too much for you, Amit’s got no problem in standing up to his family and asking for space for you. Where you and the bun are concerned, Amit’s the bravest man in the world.

Andrew Larson

He’s a bit worried to begin with, wishing the two of you had more time together as just you two before things change, but he’s keen to experience the next stage of life with you. He does tend to work a little later in the evenings than before, but that’s mainly to make sure you’ve got a comfortable amount saved in case of any emergencies. This can mean you’re left alone more than you’re comfortable with, so you’d need to have a conversation with him to find a good balance for you both.

Sebastian Sallow

He knew it was a risk what with the amount of sex you had, but he’s still upset about it. He doesn’t want to be a parent. He doesn’t want to give up on his dreams. He doesn’t want to give up the life he has with you. He goes into denial. He begs you to terminate. He tries every trick in the book, even disappearing for a week or so to try and clear his head.

If you insist on keeping it he’ll stay by your side in the end because he’s hopelessly in love with you, and he’ll do his damndest to be a good and loving parent (because Merlin only knows he never wants a kid to suffer what he did) but at his core is resentment and loss. His life isn’t what he wanted it to be, and it hurts, and he hates that he can’t feel the connection to the kid like you can. He never truly bonds with it, despite trying his hardest, and he ends up feeling left out of his own family. He misses when it was just you, when he felt loved and needed and wanted. With a kid, your attention rests on him only to make sure he’s doing chores. Eventually, he’ll vanish in the middle of the night, and you won’t find him again.

Ominis Gaunt

He’s horrified. Devastated. Inconsolable. He’s taken every possible precaution, made so much effort to make sure this never happened, but somehow it has. The last thing he wants is to further his family line, hell, he doesn’t even like children or babies. He feels sick and cold, and he can’t find it in himself to be happy. He honestly wants to run away, and seriously considers it. One of the first serious conversations you had when you started dating was about this, and how he never wanted children, and should the worst happen, he’d want you to get rid of it. He likes things to be a certain way, where it’s safe and secure and predictable, not horrible and chaotic and expensive and awful with something he never wanted to exist taking up your every spare moment.

He would leave you if you kept it. No matter his honour or gentlemanly way, he is firm in his decision as he has been firm since the very beginning of your relationship. He told you what would happen and he sticks to it. He’ll provide from a distance, but he would consider this to be a betrayal of his trust, a betrayal of something vitally important to him – it would show him he doesn’t matter enough to you if you chose a bundle of cells over him. If you did terminate, his relief would be so great he’d probably collapse in your lap and stay there for as long as he’s allowed to.

Masterlist

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #garreth weasley #leander prewett #amit thakkar #andrew larson #hogwarts

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