#it wouldnt have fucking HURT so much not to fit in them!!!! but i cant SAY that it hurt bc then she'd Feel Accused and Wounded and To Blame
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#cw parent rant incoming#tell me why im having to out of the blue ease my mom's cis guilt over text rn#im. hoough. im tired.#shes apparently been worrying abt having ''messed you up from day one'' bc they assigned me the wrong gender at fuckin birth & now hearing#the words ''assigned [x] at birth'' makes her feel ''on edge and accused''..................#bc it ''puts a responsibility for trauma and unkindness on parents that simply isn't there''#how tf do i say ''yeah i mean you fucked me up real good but also thats not the reason why.'' tf#the reason im traumatized isnt bc im trans. its bc im trans and was raised in a transphobic society that didnt want me to be trans.#why not start with the fact you raised me in a fucking cult??? hm????? THAT was traumatizing. but shed NEVER get that bc shes messed up in#a ton of the same ways -- but bc shes still In It she cant fucking see it#if it were fucking easy to just *play* with gender outside of your agab then it wouldnt be fucking traumatizing to grow up trans!!#thered be nothing to feel guilty for!! if gender roles werent so deeply fucking entrenched in the church and the way i was raised then#it wouldnt have fucking HURT so much not to fit in them!!!! but i cant SAY that it hurt bc then she'd Feel Accused and Wounded and To Blame#FOR THE WRONG DAMN THING. FUCK.#im not accusing you for being a bad parent or some shit just by existing as a trans person?? take responsibility for the shit that YOU DID.#when you did NOTHING *before* i came out to make me feel like i could Exist As A Trans Person? or As A Person that didnt Meet Expectations?#THATS on you. the fact i didnt know For Certain if id be *okay* if i came out?? THATS ON YOU.#theres TONS of shit i can think of that are my parents fault and directly tied to how fucked up i am. BUT ALSO. *THOSE* are never going to#be the things they feel sorry for. bc they think they werent in the wrong. so theyll just feel 'on edge' & 'accused' bc theyre sO justified#hhhhHHH. FUCK.#just out of the fucking blue. immediately after asking what cake i wanted tmrw for my birthday. so. happy early birthday i fucken guess!!#i hate it here.#every time i start to get comfortable and feel lighter and freer to express myself again... theres always fucking something.#theres always fucking something and *IM* the sorry fuck who has to keep the damn peace and smooth everyone elses ruffled fucking feathers#i hate to complain bc i really was afraid itd be so much worse but. but also this still fucking sucks ass? ig i wasnt really expecting that#idk man. maybe its the fact ive been extra fucking dysphoric and been dealing with one helluva rsd spiral the last week or so but. FUCK me#lemme out lemme out lemme out#just have to get thru the end of august and then im. back in school again. not exactly looking forward to thAt part either but at least ill#be AWAY. and with my partner and with my friends and OUT of HERE.#bee speaks
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The full lineup is almost done!! (just needs some touch ups and a Chunsik design👍) FEEDBACK IS GREATLY APRECIATED!!
Design process under here (whole lot of yapping)
General thoughts: Ive given them in my previous design sheet (you can find it in my blog)(tldr: designs match characters but still childish, 8-12 years old). Only thing different here, is that these eggs were eggs who I had less of a clear idea of what I wanted to do with them (though I still really liked where I ended up!!)
Empanada: Didnt want to go for the full sweet lolita route, mostly because I thought it'd take away the "little kidness" of it all, but something that still resembles the aesthetic. She's wearing "carneirinhos" (idk the name in english) which is very cute little girl to me, and shes also a demon! Her tail resembles a frying pan!! Though I might change her fringe (it was supposed to be baby hairs but now that I think about it, her type of hair probably wouldnt have them) and put some argyle pattern in her sweater vest. I just forgor💀 to do that...I also wish I had made her shorter, but unfortunetely I drew this before the eggs did the height check (YES ITS BEEN THAT LONG).
Sunny: My beautiful baby girl. She means the world to me. I love this minecraft egg with all my heart. Shes wearing Light up sketchers and some fairy wings like Pomme, and shes actually wearing a swimsuit, she just put a tutu over it. The diamonds they're always holding are rings, they have a "terere" in their hair (idk name in english😭😭) and the beads were inspired by an artist on twt (@\BLUETOMATOSODA). Also if you are wondering why her hair looks like tentacles, its because I had originally made it puffy, but changed my mind after doing the lineart, so i had to get creative with me covering it up. Just pretend she has a fan, shes a star after all!
Pepito: Basically, he is very smoll. Chiquito even. He has strawberry hair and MASSIVE glasses that take up his entire face. Hes wearing a swimsuit aswell (dont ask how it works idk either), and has floaties since he cant swim. Hes got crocs, since flip flops hurt his toes, with a spider man charm on them! Also hes got a sunhat, mostly cause I wanted some other accessorie but didnt want to go with gas mask since it'd kinda kill the whole swimming vibe (since his model is wearing a swimsuit). sorry if its not too accurate to his character. Side note: Him, Em and Sunny all have freckles! Him and Sunny all over their bodies while Em just has on her cheeks.
Leo: Cute sporty vibe, love her shorty spiky hair. Wanted to try to make her face spiky aswell, for the whole shark dad thing. Shes got a necklace with a shark tooth (I guess she got it from Foolish??). He changes tshirts randomly, and opens and closes his attack on titan hoodie depending on the tshirt's expression (basically my version of Leo changing her player heads constantly). His trainers have dragon wings and also: whealies!!
Dapper: Im gonna be honest: did not expect to like his design THIS much. The colouring really elevated, with the long blue hair (the same colour as the ghosties!). Wanted to make them, y'know, dapper, so I had to sacrifice some of the "little kid vibes" unfortunetely, but I think it fits her still. The hat has part of the helmet that they used to wear a lot, demon horn to match Pomme, and a suit that is VERY inspired by Death the Kid from Soul Eater (very fitting for a reaper in training imo). Might be my favourite design!
Ramon: Jesus fuck you'd think designing your fav egg would be easy BUT NO. I struggled long and hard. Again, he doesnt have that much "little kid" vibe whatever man😭😭 Im just happy that I even managed to make SOMETHING. Hes got Create googles, his meathead is a massive hat that completely hides his hair. Very simple, very Ramon, though I will probably end up making a version with an ugly sweater just like he likes instead😔. I still like it but. man...
ANYWAYS IF YOU READ ALL THAT MWAH, YOURE A REAL ONE, THANKS FOR ENTERTAINING MY THOUGHTS🫶🫶🫶
#qsmp#qsmp fanart#qsmp eggs#qsmp empanada#qsmp sunny#qsmp ramón#qsmp ramon#qsmp pepito#qsmp leonarda#qsmp leo fanart#qsmp dapper#qsmp sunnysideup#ramon the egg#ramon qsmp#leonarda#leonarda the egg#leonarda fanart#leonarda qsmp#pepito#empanada#sunnysideup#sunny the egg#empanada the egg#empanada fanart#sunny fanart#dapper the egg#dapper fanart#breakfast trio
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Obviously, I have opinions about the word 'queer.' There's historical precedence for the broad usage of this word and there are multiple posts about those contexts.
But that's only some of the reason that I choose this word to describe myself.
You know... growing up in Indiana in the 90s I didn't get exposed to the community. There was some ruckus about it at church a few times, the AIDS epidemic was background noise, and we had one gay bar that got closed down by the time I was old enough to go there.
I was outed against my will when I was seven, in 1993, when it was still very much a social death sentence in the suburban midwest. Twenty-one years before marriage was even halfway legal. And I was called all manner of things, including 'queer.' But the word that hurt the most, really hit me deeply in my soul...
...was 'lesbian.'
Lesbian is the accepted term for a woman who seeks relationships with women (the community's own gatekeeping aside.) It is one of the main letters in the acronym. There is nothing wrong with the word 'lesbian.'
But it was the way that they said it. That fucking lesbian. What are you, a lesbo? Dont sit with her, shes a lesbian.
This was paired with projectile rocks, bottles, some elaborate pranks and some less than elaborate.
This went on for eleven years. In high school our Gay-Straight-Alliance had about five people, and it was made up of two people I was sort of friends with and three people who had been throwing rocks at me. It wasnt a safe place.
And I had yet to kiss a single girl. Whole high school experience, couldnt even think about dating because I was too busy trying to shake that word off of me.
Maybe if someone said it nicely to me just once I wouldnt have felt like I was scraping the label off of me every day.
Get to college, I hear the phrase 'queer studies.' The word felt like pins on the back of my neck because I'd heard that word, too. But today it was a friendly word, a thing you could study. A history, a theory, a community.
I get shy about the word, and then I hear more words. Femme, butch, dyke, bear, bambi, fag, queen... all of these words from friendly mouths with kind eyes and all of them queer.
And then I said it out loud.
"Queer."
Ooohh.. see, it was different when I took it for myself. It wasnt pins anymore, it was a knife that I got to hold. 'Lesbian' still hurt because by the time I found queerness, it was questionable that my gender mattered anymore.
It's such a... broad word. I get to define my own queerness. I'm not a woman who loves women, I'm a person who is in love! And that love is for my girlfriend, that love is for my friends, that love is for myself- god fucking finally that love is for myself, who I hated and hated and hated for almost thirty years because someone when I was seven decided to put me in a fucking box that I didn't belong and I didnt know how to escape because I didnt know that there were other words, kinder words, words like knives in the hand instead of in the heart.
God. Fucking. Damnit. I loved myself for the first time.
And you want me... to go back into that little box that doesnt fit me anymore because it's a 'slur?' And you think I cant reclaim it because it wasnt meant for me when I was literally... called it since I was seven god damned years old?
No word meant to describe my sexuality is without a history of violence. Not a single one. The word 'lesbian' no longer stings, it just isnt wholly correct for me.
So if I can make peace with the word that sent me home crying for eleven years, you can let people reclaim the word 'queer' for themselves.
Miss me with that terf shit.
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ik it wouldnt make rlly any sense but how would laughing jack fit into creeped universe? sorry if u answered this before love ur art!!
hii HII THANK YOU!!! also him fitting in would totally make sense, theres tons of ghosts and demons in my au!! again, the only reason i dont add him is cuz when i was little i was scared of clowns, and therefore never connected to his character LOL.. all of my current interest in creepypasta is derived from when i was 10
ok anyway. im writing this as i go with no thought, just hope. i wasn't suuuper fond of his OG story in general, just as a general preference thing, soooo....
i think... i'd want him to be a circus performer from like 1800s-1900s. maybe his show was really popular with kids for a long time, but then kids stopped showing up. went from being an adored clown to some pathetic joke that teenagers came to throw tomatoes at. hurt his ego, made him feel abandoned, etc.
he began doing more and more dangerous acts just to get some of that attention and admiration back. tight rope walking, contortion, slap stick 'lion taming' and magic. and he kept pushing it till he died doing something stupid. maybe he broke his spine and that can reflect the sort of jack-in-the-box accordion type design ive seen an artist do(pls lmk if you know what im talking abt i cant remember who but it was so badass), and he ended up possessing a jack in the box as a ghost?
he'd be sold at the same garage sale ben's cartridge was sold at. dunno why, just would like them to intertwine.
and maybe someone like toby bought the jack in the box as a gift for clocky as a joke or something, and clocky ends up meeting LJ and she's like BRO WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. brings toby along and tobys like CLOCKY WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO and jacks just bouncing around being scary and whatnot. they get EJ and EJ's like guys. i hate you so much. what is this. and then its just a funny ass scene of everyone being like DUDE.
i think one of them would have to try and sell LJ's box again, or leave him somewhere in the woods cuz he's scary as fuck, but LJ isn't having it cuz "YOURE NOT ABANONDING ME AGAIN" and drama ensues. they end up finding a good home for him, im sure.... dunno where. maybe with jeff and ben. i think that'd be fitting.
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resend time! this works out just fine for me I get to fix my typo hehe. ok onto the aftermath of drunk dazai now. when he wakes up the next morning and manages to pick some memories out of the painful fog of his hangover, he’s BEYOND pissed. nevermind the fact that he was the one that trapped you in his desperate embrace and cried every time you left his line of sight, he never wouldve acted that way if it wasnt for YOU. where the HELL do you get off thinking you can humiliate him like that in front of his inferiors? stupid fucking dog. he’s been too soft on you lately, hasnt he? have you forgotten who you’re dealing with? he’ll make you PAY for this, you wont suffer this much if you live one million years, mark his w-
in the middle of his mental tangent about how much he despises you for making him feel things, something catches his eye. a tall glass of water with a few little white pills next to it. he doesnt remember getting himself that. he doesnt even drink water. he’s certain he doesnt have these pills in his cabinets either (he isnt allowed to have any medications in his home), what even were they? then he notices the note the glass was placed on, written in handwriting he’d recognize anywhere was “take these if your head hurts. try to drink the water as well, it might help.”
...ah. so, you left this for him, then? that’s… nice… of you… he runs his thumb over your lettering, trying to ignore the way his entire body trembled with excitement. you… you actually thought to do something to take care of him… you must have had to run out to the store yourself to get him these pills, right? you went out of your way like that just for him… you went out while thinking about HIM, nobody else. and you did it without being asked! you even wrote him something! now he has something with your handwriting on it FOREVER! hehe, he’ll have to find a special place for it. maybe he could frame it? no, keep it in his wallet! but oh, what if someone steals it? he wouldnt be able to let that slide, would he? stealing a present from his beloved…
he cant help but break out into manic little giggles while his face goes from deathly pale with fever to deep red. he presses a little kiss against the note before setting it down so he can take the medicine you left for him. you left just a few pills for him instead of the bottle (for reasons you can probably guess), so he savors each of them as the idea of having something in his mouth and you actually touched with your hands coaxes a low moan out of him. he lays back down in a fit of giggles and crushes a pillow into his chest. he supposes he can let your behavior slide… just this once. as a matter of fact, he might even think up a few… rewards, for when he gets back <3
- 🩹
this is a bit too cute for subordinate au dazai But its ok
dazai isn't used to being cared for—he usually doesn't even care for himself. a small part of him is convinced the action was meant to be humiliating—you leaving him pills to take for a headache like he couldn't handle a couple of drinks—but the larger part of him, is a little touched.
more than a little.
knowing you went out of your way to get him medicine, even cleaning up the constant clutter in his room so he could find it easily...it made him feel a sort of happiness he hadn't in a long time. a warm, gentle feeling. wordlessly, he traces your lettering with his finger, relishing in the evidence of your effort. even your writing was so characteristic of you, and if he tried hard enough, he could imagine you crouched over the little table, scribbling out your message quickly on a paper you found lying around. did you use one of his pens or one you had on you? he couldn't tell, but he would have liked to hold on to the one you used.
still, when he swallows the pills you left, he thinks it's almost as though you're there. if he ignores the facts, he can pretend you're just outside, waiting for him to go out and greet you with a kiss. maybe, you were in the kitchen, cooking breakfast, or in the living room, putting away opened but unfinished books. he stares longingly at the silent washroom, thinking it would be nice to wake up to the sound of running water instead, knowing someone was in there, brushing their teeth or washing up.
but this was a start, right? the note, the obvious care in your actions. dazai, before he can think about it, places a light kiss on the paper. almost immediately after, he pockets the sheet, feeling oddly lightheaded. when he sees you again, he'll be sure to let you know he appreciated your feelings.
#ask 🐟#anon 🐟#bsd 🐟#dazai 🩹 🐟#yandere bsd#yandere x reader#yandere bungo stray dogs#yandere bungou stray dogs#yandere bungo stray dogs x reader#yandere dazai x reader#yandere dazai x reader#yandere dazai
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no cause t*mkon evidence is like "tim tried to clone kon when he died" HIS FRIEND DIED, OF COURSE HE WAS UPSET, HE WAS GREIVING. that does not mean attraction. i really tried to get into this ship, i really did but reading the comics showed me that it has to be shared delusion and crazed tim fans.
tim tries to clone kon knowing conner has rules against being cloned??? huh??? he fucks his girlfriend and has a toxic ass relationship with her after he dies? what the hell? and not only that the whole time this was happening conner was dead so how the hell is it mutual??? tim is so closed off and reserved anyway and he never allows himself to get close to them on a deep level, he only does this right before its about to hurt, because angst?? conner doesn't even know a lot about tim outside of robin and superboy so what are yall seeing???
no and then fandom will ignore most of conners character and reduce conner to tim's boyfriend, what?? there's several issues i have with tim as a whole but im not getting into that right now. hes so popular like i don't get it. i don't. like i love a lot of people who enjoy him but theres no reason i HAVE to like tim drake.
i feel like yall ship them more so because tim was sad and you feel bad for him so you want the catharsis to be them dating and let me tell you, if they dated it would probably not even work out anyway.
and yall are SO CRAZY about this ship, to find out there were servers being created to send death threats to creators that so much as shipped conner with someone else is insane. yall be lying on tim's character all the time and flat out ignoring him when he does wrong, especially when its towards the batfamily and his friends. "its mischaracterized" girl how many times are we gonna cry that, be so serious. i bet yall wouldnt be crying mischaracterization if it fits under the umbrella of t*mkon evidence... but we not getting into that
i tried to block the tag, i did but ITS SO POPULAR I CANT ESCAPE IT OMG.
#eve's thoughts#eve's rants#rants#girl this has me so bad because girl ive been getting ASKS ALL DAY ABOUT MY RANTS im...#dc comics#conner kent
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ok ok i havent been like. Active in this fandom for a while but i jus
red shoe theory!!!
okok listen alr i do Not believe this as an actual canonical thing, and i can totally see why a lot of people are frustrated with it, but i just??? love it a lot??
so im gonna jus. talk about it lmao
so for anyone not aware of the red shoe theory, its just the theory that the reason izuku wears his red shoes(and why we see baby am with them) is because quirkless people need special shoes to. yk. Walk Comfortably. now personally again i dont this is canon but i like it a lot!! as someone with wider feet than the average person, i’d like to say Shoes Are A Fucking Nightmare
here’s the thing, my entire family has this issue, and for all of us, shoes hurt. i live for the day i can finally actually afford Good Fucking Shoes that Fit ok. it does not matter how many sizes i go up, it has also hurt to wear shoes. and i know that Yeah maybe losing that pinky toe joint would change much, but i feel like itd change enough, yk?
see, my feet are most wide at my toes- and as a kid this was wonderful! it actually gave me a lot better balance than most other kids, and was great for climbing places i wasnt meant to be able to climb.
now? owowowow pain i hate my feet
i cannot easily find shoes that fit me comfortably, and in the end my shoes will always begin to break open at the sides of my toes.
my feet arent extreme, its not super noticeable, but its enough. and its why i like the red shoe theory- because honestly if i could afford it id scrounge up all my fucking money to get shoes made for my type of feet. and the idea that quirkless people having that toe joint make their feet that might wider, requiring them to have specific shoes, is something i can rlly rlly relate to
and i know another issue people have with the shoe theory is that ‘why is it only those shoes??? wtf’ but i’d also like to say that, despite the 20% statistic we’re given, i feel like its more than a bit misleading? im a firm believer that quirkless people are either a smaller percentage of that, or that the percentages shrink drastically depending on where you are. specifically, i wouldnt be surprised if japan had an incredibly low quirkless population
and the thing is, yeah maybe a lot of companies might cater to my feet, but practically none are affordable for me where im at, and i feel like that could be the reason for the shoes- in japan, maybe with the dwindling quirkless population all the wider shoe companies just. stopped yk? because it stopped being profitable. so at a point, it became incredibly hard to get those shoes, and eventually they had to be imported to you to get them in japan. and yeah, thered absolutely be other designs for the shoes, but consider: the red shoes are the cheapest. its simple, yk? with how quirkless people are shown to be treated, they seem unlikely to be able to get a rlly high paying job, and when you dont make enough money you just go with the cheapest option, yk?
but still, obv some quirkless people Wouldnt Do That, whether to avoid the off chance of someone recognizing their shoes or they just cant afford it, people would absolutely go a size up or smth! hell, thats what im doing! but still, that kills you feet, which in turn hurts your knees, then your hips, and finally your back. it fucking hurts man
so idk i find the concept rlly interesting personally
#weird dog rambles#bnha#boku no hero fanfic#my hero acedamia#mha#red shoe theory#quirkless red shoe theory#idk ive been reading fics with it and popped on here to find more content for it nd jus found a lot of people disliking it(which is valid!!)#nd wanted to ramble#anyway byr dhdhdj
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im the jpop anon. thank you for the long and thoughtful reply! :)
yeah, theres something really wrong with kpoppers. i actually remember what perfume video the "fat legs" comments were from - it was their first budokan concert back in 2008, i think they were wearing the pink outfits (or perhaps the yellow ones from drream fighter). i think what those kpoppers might meant were kashiyukas thighs, since she wore very short shorts in the pink outfits, and while her legs are thin her thighs are plumper. but like, thats literally what makes her known as "the hot one" among fans. like shes very renowed for having very nice legs, and in general its normal for women to have bigger tighs and wider hips. i guess one could just shrug it off as kpop fans being salty and petty, but many kpop girl members have crazy thin legs. like if you look up snsd aka girls generation, youll realize that many of their promotional images have them with really skinny legs. one of the very few kpop songs that i like is "gee" by this girl group, and i decided to look at the comments of the dance ver and some poeple were defending one of the girls because koreans fans were being mean to her for being "fat". i think she was called jessica or something like that, and i look her up to know which one of them was and like, if they didnt mention anything i wouldnt even have realized but her "problem" was basically that she had this "square-y" body type and that made her look like 0,5 millimeters bigger that the rest.
another thing that happened to me very recently was that i was looking for a notebook to buy and there were selling some with kpop groups in the cover, and i stumbled upon one that had this boy band named stray kids, and god dammit... these guys have such heavy plastic surgery like wtf... some of them look like literal wax figures its scary. i remember when kpop fans were saying it was racist how some people made fun of boy bands by saying they all looked the same, and sure, definitely some of them probably were, but you cant deny that some of these guys (and girls) dont end up looking the same when they get their faces botched up all to follow the same very narrow korean beauty standards.
and yeah, i can see the difference between kanon and akari, but i also think it was because kanon was much bigger than akari. like she even made fun of herselkf many times when she introduced herself. i always remember when michishige sayumi was asked which animal fit their teammates the best, and she said kanon was a hippo or an elephant 💀 i always got the impression that kanon making fun of herself like referencing she had a full meal before a performance so she was full of energy was a defense mechanism - a lot of fat people usually make fun of themseves because they want to do it before others can make fun of them first, like "look at me, im fat and i know it and dont take it seriously, please dont make fun of me because i already do it and it doesnt hurt me at all!".
speaking of sayumi, she once was also asked which helloproject group she would least like to be stuck with on an island, and she said berryz koubou because they seemed like they liked to eat alot.. im guessing she was referring to maasa and risako.
i wanted to say more but this got so fucking long lol sorry papi... perhaps ill send another message later...
Tbh Kpop visuals are so ridiculously filtered that I'm pretty sure those girls are made prettier and skinnier than they really are. People these days are soooooo freaking guillible and believe anything they see online. These girls get ps to oblivion and still need to be photoshopped like mad.... They're not perfect. Nobody is.
The thing is japanese idols aren't expected to look perfect like Korean do. Jpop idols aren't supposed to look 'flawless'. Perfume debuted when they were like 12-13 years old ; we saw them grow before our eyes, so if they did anything shady with their appareance everyone would have noticed. These women are soon 35 and still kicking.. - I wonder how these Kpop girls will look at that age 👀
I don't even think that Kpoppers know what "sexy" is anyway. What's stricking with Kpop is that despite how much polished their aesthetic are, they emanate 0% charisma. They give off an absolutely frigid energy. Every single of their move and face expression are policed. Kpop MV would make anyone epileptic so much shit is going on because that's how bad the artist themselves can't put it up themselves.
At least, old school jpop idols still have a lil bit of personality - which is why we still remember of them 10, 20 years later. The same couldn't be said for today's one tbh (I lost interest after Morning Musume 13./Michishige graduated because all the newcomers were more dull than the others... Even Riho who was hailed as The Ace of the group didn't leave the same impact as OG members (Ai Takashi, Tsuji Nozomi, Ai Kago, Maki Goto, Reina Tanaka, etc.) AKB48 fell off after the Kami 7 all graduated (the sister groups are meh).
But to be fair, the new Reiwa era (more conservative ) isn't just prone to leave raw personalities pop out in like that... Ai Kago stunts would have made her cancelled without afterthought or second chances today...😬 The idol group era is pretty much over in Japan. Right now, 'boring edgy' like Aimyon or Yonezu Kenshi are popping.
I can't bring myself to find Kpop boys attractive. Period. They are all ugly and I have no shame to say it because they were all much better before doing plastic surgery. So no it's not racist to say they all look the same because plastic surgery made them look the same - not their race...
I DARE someone to tell me the 2 dudes on the left aren't the same. The one at the top particularly looks like an otome game character 💀 like- he straight up looks like his face was DRAWN.
And you know what freaks me out the most? It's that from one picture to another THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE THEMSELVES??!?
Like wtf is this shit???
It's supposed to be the same band but the faces.... don't match others pictures 💀
You know society colllapsed now that stray kid dudes are considered attractive....when back in the day we had natural and authentic beauty like Takeshi Kaneshiro *sigh*
downgrade of the millennium. Mishima killed himself for this.
And you know what freaks me out the most about these kpoppers? It's that they seemingly don't "exist" beside these ridiculous doctored photoshoot. Are there any candids of them out and about in the street? Without perfect lightening, angle and filters? Tbh I wouldn't be surprised they are AI or shit like that.
Perfume look the same when they do bc....they arent botched
Michishige is RUTHLESS 😭 I mean, in Morning Musume she had the persona of being a narcissist so it makes sense she put down other girls for not being as pretty as her. But yeah dunking on a girl who's like a decade younger than you is shitty. Those idol group are shoving together girls from entire different generations (Michishige was in her mid 20s when she graduated and the youngest member of the group were like 13-14 years old 🥴) so awkward girldrama situations are bound to happen.... That being said, it's a very bad idea to get into an idol group if you're feeling awkward about your physically appearance... Kanon should've never been in Momusu, imo.
I always found Berryz Kōbō was much coherent than Morning Musume ; members were closer in age and experience. I was a smaller band and the lineup was consistent so you weren't lost in the amount of new faces every other years (like Momusu regular call for new members).
I think its fitting that some of its members love eating when they have a song called 1億3千万総ダイエット王国 ("A kindgom of 130 million [people] complete diet[ing]") *the population of Japan is of 125 million but I guess the evened it out for the song that was kinda critical of diet culture. Good for them tbh And that song was bop. Berryz Kōbō truly delivered the few years before disbanding.
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i know i just said im not ashamed but im SO ASHAMED you have no idea. over what? it
i have this weird mindset where like. if someone gets to know me for one particular things, whether it be a specific fandom or even just DRAWING HUMANS, i feel like i can never ever share my other interests with them cuz.. what if they dont care? i wouldnt blame them i cant make anyone give a shit about what i do but. ITS TERRIFYING TO ME.. so i just avoid it but. its leaving me very.. unfulfilled? like HORRIBLY, ive set aside a lot of my other interests because im . i dont care what strangers think, fuck you suck my dick but. people i know? people im close with? i know why i do it, hes right it feels like a test and tests can go wrong!!!! what if i test the waters and its not received positively? i cant bear the thought of any part of me being unappealing to my loved ones, genuinely it keeps me up at night fearing that some small thing might just switch it all off overnight its the worst thing ever.
i know its not healthy to just... shove myself into this little box but in my head, thats why they want! in my head its a good thing, i need to keep myself presentable and perfect, as perfect as someone like me can get anyways
maybe thats why i feel like i dont exist without them? ive literally pushed away anything i think they WONT like or even wont care about, ive just.. dropped it all. fear, it just comes from fear, but whew!!!!! exhausting
im not proud of this, i wish that changing myself to fit what i THINK someone wants wouldnt come so naturally to me but it does, i wish my brain worked differently
i just. i need to LOOK OUT for myself. the worst pain i can experience is rejection, its amplified 10000% it feels like. i know ive said before id rather relive all my trauma than feel rejected at all, and thats still TRUE i cant handle it.. as unfortunate as it is, bpd just makes me sensitive. theres like no other way to word it, i am SENSITIVE my skin is fragile its made of glass, i cant take criticism even if its GOOD because it hurts me to think that something i did wasnt good enough, it makes me sick actually!! i need to protect myself, i need to hide the parts of me that could be damaged like that but.. hiding parts of yrself doesnt feel good, does it? im scared of that pain, i dont want to face it.. but it doesnt feel nice to lose myself cuz i think its what someone would want
in my head this is how it goes, i do something, its received poorly (rejected), ouch!!! first of all. second of all, rejection cracks my image, it opens me up to the possibility of being left behind. bpd is all about black and white thinking. the good is the best and the bad is the WORST. it feels shameful to admit how my brain works but it . its true, its the truth. if someone doesnt like something about me, even if its SMALL and they dont actually care, in my head it means they basically dont like me, they must hate me! they must hate me and theyre probably gonna leave me since theyre so disgusted with me for.. what? being a furry? yes!!!!!!!!!! it goes from 0-100 so fast, its scary
but.. i really DONT feel like i exist without them. if im not talking with them about our things, im working on my things they know and like alright im never really doing anything else anymore.. like. why am i so ashamed to just... be a human with interests? im scared, scared the smallest thing will just... take it all away from me, yknow? as much as id LOVE to ramble about my ocs and stuff that ive never really talked about, that shame persists. its too strong, i end up just deleting the post or hiding it in drafts, i cant bring myself to share because im scared
i know its really dumb but. its what we're working with rn!!!! mild disinterest = rejection = abandonment, what a vicious cycle!!! i get it now guys omg.... all the bpd girlies who mirror, i know i mirror too but i never really like. GOT IT until now, i mirror cuz im afraid to be something they wont like!!!! it is all so clear to me now. doesnt make it better but whatever. maybe ill be brave one day, but idk
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Alochol ruins people
Lets me tell you something. Theres a really hurt, traumatized, kind person under every alocholic. Trauma is the only gateway to drugs. Its true. Something led you to something dangerous for relief from something dangerous in your life. Something that shows itself as a threat to you. Like when your around that person or situation your body is sore.
When I thinka bout breaking up my parents fights as a kid it makes me sad. I would never want to see a kid that sad like I was or have to do that. Working with kids sometimes makes me realize how much parents shape their kids. I cant believe my brother and I would have to break up fist fights at 14 years old. My brother is tough, I am strong. He keeps blinders on I dont let the wind break me. My mother is wild but courgeous. My father is avoidant but selfless.My dad was there when there was a medical emergency. But mental forget about it. My dad ignored every cry for help I ever gave and he did that to all his kids. I would tell him the pain I feel and he would say his father did the same but he is ok so I will be.
One day my mom and I were fighting a lot. Probably about her dirnking or something dumb but she called my dad when he was not living here to pick me up. He did he came for me. He took me to the temlpe a mile down the main road. He parked his jeep and we sat in the car while he told me about my papau (his father). How he hated him for a while, that he was abusive, ignorant, angry and mean. He told me how he got through it though. I knew what he meant and It meant a lot for someone who never opened up. It triggered my dad my mom was an angry drunk. She was so sad that she was angry to a point of everything made her mad. My father mostly and me, Sam not so much only if he didnt talk to her. She loved him, my mom let him get away with everything in high school. Which led to him loving the bottle maybe more or as much as my mom.
I was stoned most of the time my brother was drunk. I hated his parties. His friends were the "popular" older kids. I didnt like them that much. They always made me nervous. Never spoke to me and looked at me as "Sams little sister." I knew they thought I was a whore for rumors about Andrys and I. I didnt care. I did care because I actually sadly want other people to like me.
Usually during my brother house parties where I could not freely just smoke with my friends in my room and paint I would go to Maxs or Yasmines. Max being my ex boyfriend I sometimes fucked around with. I would have to dispear from the house I would not stand it.
One night I came home from Maxs and I look down stairs and my old best friend Chandler was downstairs with my brother. In my head I thought what I little fucking whore. But I smiled and Wanted to give the middle finger to her little posey of friends. Ugh I hated everyone at my school, they made me feel awkard. I didnt like lululemon leggings, they all wore them though and I would force myself to fit in for some reason. All. the guys liked them. I thought I was pretty but not perfect. I didnt have clear skin, nice teeth and amazingly straight soft silky hair. I knew I wouldnt be them. They didnt fuck though. Opps. They didnt have my spunk, ew. I cant believe I am writing this as a 23 year old but I know I was thinking this at 16.
I was jealous of them. I hate to admit it but I hated how they were admired. I focused on smoking, my art and my friends but also the new guys I can fuck. I looked for validation in the wrong places and the wrong people. I had no role model. My aunt maybe was but my mom could careless if I was ok she was the one that made me feel so much pain. I hated how attatched I was to her. I always wanted her to be happy when her focus was on other things. So I did the same.
This led to mother calling me a WHORE THAT LETS ANYONE INTO HER TWAT. holy shit I can not believe she actually said that to me. Looking back her drunkness is funny to me now. LIke I was raised bya n alocholic and I am ok. Wow, people are resilent. She was still able to feed my brother and I and opperate on like a handle of vodka a day. That bitch wild but we love her because honestly she did the best she could. She was so traumatized by her fucked up child hood tand then her marriage falling apart she got driven to the bottle. She always used to say
"first the man takes the bottle then the bottle takes the man"
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i don’t even know how to cope with this or deal with this i feel like i’m burning up inside.
#text#its like ive been doing things but it all passes through me like i cant even#get into my head that that just happened. that i know all that now#theres too many terrible things i want to ask#like i cant believe they did all that. and not even that specifically to hurt me#i dont understand why its so easy for them to move on when i sit here and i think about#staying up all night on call talking about everything i remember listening to music with them sharing#8 months of my fucking LIFE with them and they just move on from it 2 months later#and it feels wrong to even talk about it here#but it hurts so so much inside and#like does it feel better with them. do you feel more loved. does it hurt less. do you love them more than you loved me?#why was it easier to let me go and find someone new?#it feels like my fault again#i think about the months i spent freaking out thinking theyd moved on#halloween night having a crying fit in the shower because i couldnt deal with how much it hurt#and how i always calmed myself down with They told me They wouldnt do that#and they did and it just meant nothing to them that itd been 2 months since they left me and my feelings meant nothing#and their promise meant nothing and#everyone told me to stop jumping to conclusions but i was right the entire time because i know Them and i Know what theyre like#and it was right in front of me and i trusted them i hoped that that wasnt what that was#and it feels wrong to even be mad at them for it because its not my business but THE WHOLE REASON THEY LEFT ME#i hate saying theyre a bad person i hate thinking they are#because i love them and they loved me for a time#and just the time i spent talking to my friends about it thinking maybe theyd come back and things would be okay#and maybe they missed me the way i missed them#and its nothing because they miss me like a friend because theyve got someone new and better than me and I WASNT EVEN#what they wanted in the first place so i just mean nothing#like i go to bed alone every night wishing they were there with me . and they go to bed with someone else . and it#never reminds them of me ?#valkyrie.txt
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Sukuna never had a problem getting himself off. He had multiple people to pleasure him ofcourse. It was always one needy whore after another, girl or boy, man or woman. They all wanted to be beside him and praise him.
All untill you. You and your innocent little joy of life.
The day he saw you he was raptured by your sweet smile and blinding beauty. Ofcourse sukuna being the king of curses wanted a taste of you and he knew that once you got a taste of him, you would be on your knees ready to serve him, or so he thought.
To lure you in he disguised himself as a commoner. As much as he hated it that was the only way he could get you to sleep with him. And so there he was standing in front of you- hand in hand...and in a date? He didnt quite understand the concept of dating. It was bizzare and quite complex.. I mean why spend time talking about interests and giving information about oneself that can be used in battles when you could indulge in worldly pleasures lusting over him.
But when he stood there, next to your smiling figure that was failing to get the toy out of the mysterious box of gifts and treasures or as you called it a claw crane.
He didn't understand how small things like those could excite you, he knew he could get you better toys, gifts unfathomable to human kind. Gifts and treasures that only the richest-
"Hehe look isnt this one adorable" you swirled your arm into his pulling him close to hear your heavenly laughter more clearly making him twinge with goosebumps.
As you continued to adore the little ball of cotton he made it his mission to buy the biggest toy there was. Huffing his chest when making the promise only to find you laughing and telling him that it was late and you both needed to catch the last bus.
Scoffing he agreed but somehow the walk back to the station made his way with talks and taunts that somehow made the curse laugh with genuine joy and peace.
Sometimes he found himself smiling and bit too fondly and having to remind himself that he was the kind of curses, devil reincarnated, a powerful curse who once ravaged the earth making thousands tremble-
Disturbed from his thoughts you pulled him down to land the lightest kiss on his cheekbone making him stare at you in wonder.
"Good night sukuna" ofcourse he told you his name....well he wanted to tell you his actual form too but after tonight...god what if he would scare you? What if you didnt want to be with him...wait be with him? Why would he be worried if you wanted to be with him or not?
Laughing he questioned his thoughts making him talk to himself in the dark way back home
'Yea right. Me the powerful sukuna..wanting a woman like her to be with me' what rubbish he thought while having the slightest tinge of red coat his ears.
As a couple weeks went by you both got closer and closer. The more you grew closer you more flustered you got, and ofcourse he wouldnt miss any tiny detail. Everytime he did something to mess with you he would await to see your lovely flustered reaction.
When he would lean down to brush his lips on yours ever so slightly teasing every inch of your tiny self he found himself filled with eagerness and desperation to get closer and make you his. But oh dear god the way you would whimper and sound off his reactions sending blood straight to his dick.
When he found out you reacted like that, whimpering and trembling at his arms sensitive to his touch he found himself repeating it over and over again.
Only to break apart one day and found himself pinning you to the floor as he floated on top of you lips inches apart, eyes fumbling between his and his lips as though signaling to wanting more.
"You look so fucking pretty like this" he said cupping your tiny face with his big hand bringing it closer to a heated kiss, tongue swirling into your own only making you groan into the kiss. With every sound you made, every trace of your small fingers on his body he only was tempted more, tempted to rip off every piece of clothing your body dared to hold.
He wanted to leave marks all over your body, emotion of jealousy and possessiveness taking over him as he left dark red kisses onto your soft skin.
When he raised his head he found you looking at him with a shock.
"Wha- who are you?"
Confusion evidenton his face he jerked back "Huh doll what are you talking about? I'm sukuna"
"No..sukuna doesnt look like this" you said backing off to a corner and as he noted his tatto on his wrists he realised, he changed back to his form. A form he grew when in lust or holding a desire to monopolize something.
Fuck
"Sweetheart. It's me.. I was just-" he knew no words put together would explain who he was and the grew a bit angry when he saw your face holding disgust or so he thought.
Huffing he sat down explaining the most he could. Leaving out parts where he would continue on another day but today he needed you, he needed to feel you, to hear your sweet sultry voice begging him to make you cum.
To his shock you werent afraid, hurting he didnt tell you before this but as you scoped closer cupping his face clearly way too big for your tiny hand
"I just wish youd told me sooner. I dont care where you're from and what you did. As long as we are together I dont want to worry about that."
Sukuna never knew words could turn him on the way it did right now. Pouncing on you continuing where he left off he was quick to remove all your clothing.
As he removed his he noted the way you stared into his chest eyeing his every feature. As though you wanted to eat him up. As he removed his underwear your mouth fell wide.
There was no way that would fit you. No way
As though he could read your mind he came to kiss you deeply
"Dont worry brat, I'll make sure to stretch you wide enough to take me. Hmm? I know my princess will do that for me wont ya?" Nodding he smacked one hand on your cunt he trailed his fingers that were so big you worried about them fitting too.
As he rubbed circles on your clit enjoying every sound that poured out from your sweet lips. As he traced the lining of your dripping pussy he collected some of your juices in his fingers before bringing them to his mouth sucking on them
"Fuck you taste so good. Cant wait to fill you with my cum."
With the end of that sentence he entered your tight hole. Fingering you slowly at first so you got used to his huge fingers. He pumped you in and out observing every twitch and shiver you showed. He sucked onto one of your breasts and the other hand rubbed deep circles on your clit and massaged your folds.
The way he fingered you were sinful, every turn and pull making you moan in delight. As he swirled his index and pointing finger to pump more juices from your dripping cunt he came down to suck on your sensitive clit flicking it with his tongue. He continued his ministrations ramming his fingers into your twitching hole.
He was observant, learning your every reaction as he curled up his fingers to reach a spot so sensitive earning a Yelp and you scurrying away from his touch only for him to pull you back with his nails digging into the soft of your thighs. Kissing you thighs biting the inner side of them.
"Did I tell you could move away from my touch brat? The next time you scurry away and I wont let you cum. Okay? and be a good little whore and lemme stretch you" his words leaving a harsh warning into your brain you knew not to move. Rather you pushed your hips to match his pace as he fingered you to your orgasm.
As you felt a gush of water on your inner thighs you were left heaving and trying to make sense of reality when he came forward lining himself towards your entrance collecting the juices your dripping pussy let out.
"Hmm..and what should I do next princess?? Hmm?"
"Please- I.. want you in me" you said nervously fidgeting with you arms as you let you arms hang on his broad shoulders. He kissed the side of your ears whispering in an octave deeper than usual
"Want what?" He teasing and licking your ears, he knew it was your sensitive spot
"I want your huge cock. Please sukuna"
"Say it clearly brat" he said slapping your boobs before sucking and nibbling your tip
"I want ...want your big dick in me.. please sukuna"
"That's it..that's all I wanted to hear my sweet whore"
As words left your mouth you felt a stretch in your tiny pussy earning a groan from the great king himself before sinking in to reach the deepest part of you that no one ever could
"Fuck you're so fucking tight" he said ramming himself into you obliterating your sweet cunt. His thrusts never slowed down only growing stronger and a tad bit faster so that you were getting accustomed to him. The stretch was so much, too much for you to handle as you felt tears spilling from your reddened cheeks you held onto him hoping you make it out out this alive because the way he was making a mess out of you you werent sure.
He continued and on noticing your tears he kissed your cheeks and lips asking if you were okay. The great king reduced to asking whether you were okay or not..times had truly changed
"Go- go a bit slower.. you're...to..too big unnhhh" you said leaving nail marks on his back earning a hiss from him and that sentence just drove him over the cliff.
Realization hit and he slowed down not so much just a bit so that his arms were on either side of you, mouth kissing your cry of pleasure away.
Soon his arms held your waist in a way to slightly hold you up and he angled himself to curve himself into you. You gasped into the air, breath leaving your lungs for a second as he smirked with the power that only he had. To make such a face out of you.
Hair messed up, body sweating and mouth left gaping open for him to steal open mouthed kisses anytime he wants. As he pulled you closer every inch of his dick now entering your tight cunny you felt your stomach bulging a bit and on looking down you found a bump of his tip. Smirking he massaged the area
"Is my dick too big for you tight cunny hm?" He said but the sight of you fucked up like this only drove him nuts making him turn your insides violently making you scream.
"Yes..you're so big. So fucking biggg...fuck su...I'm.. I'm so.."
Circling your sensitive clit he groaned into the sensation of you tightening on him "I know princess. Fuck I'm close too"
As you felt white run out you jerked your hips to match his brutal pace whimpering about how big he was and how hes ruining you.
With every thrust he grew closer to his unbecoming as he let out white strings of hot cum into your tight sweet cunny.
The sight etched into his memory, you laid out in front of him bare and vulnerable with dark marks all over your body, cunt leaking out his cum and sheets soaked with both your fluids.
This was a sight he would never forget as he laid next to you bringing you on top of him you rubbed circles on his tattooed chest admiring his chiseled body.
He brought your face up to kiss him sweetly, as though he was scared he would break you.
You fell into a deep slumber while the curse stayed awake..wondering what to be done of his new pet.
#sukuna x reader#sukuna#jjk smut#smut#sukuna smut#sukuna x y/n#smut jjk#sukuna ryomen#sukuna ryoumen x reader#ivywrites#smut sukuna
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Wrecker NSFW Alphabet Headcannons
Involes 18+ headcannons I mean it is the NSFW Headcannons for a reason-
A=Aftercare - What they do/act like after sex.
Cuddling galore
B=Bondage - Are they into BDSM, and how far they'll go if they have a green light.
No not really, he likes the ideas and has a fantasy but never really ask, oh and he wouldnt want it on you- he wants it on him.
But he also thinks those collar chokers are hot on u- you know the one with the spikes, big or small- preferable small spikes- hes poked himself with the big ones
C=Cum - pretty self-explanatory.
You cant ever take it all, its thick and definitely a large load. He likes stuffing you with it as you mewel in pleasure.
D=Dom - Are they dominant, submissive, a switch?
Was a total sub before you leading him through it, showing he wasnt going to hurt her as a dom.
Hes a switch now.
E=Edgeplay - Similar to 'Kinks' except it's a lot riskier than usual kinks (knifeplay, breathplay, etc.)
F=Fantasy - A fantasy of theirs (ex: a teacher/student )
Yeah no hes good
Being tied to a chair and you giving him a lap dance or being tied up and used (consensually) in general so he wants to put his hands on you but cant.
G=Got Caught - How they react when they get caught having sex.
"Oh. Hey guys..." and tries to Casually cover you up
H=Hot Spots - A place that drives them crazy when stimulated
His neck and his chest.
I=Intimacy - How romantic they are, or can be, before, during, or after sex.
Guys its Wrecker, of course love like too the max all day everyday period.
K=Kinks - list a few of their kinks, be they the normalized ones or kinkier kinks.
J=Journey - Their ideal way of leading up to sex.
A warm make out session that went to far with consent
L=Location - Where they like to have sex at, do they like risky locations, etc.
Dominance his partner ontop always makes him feel horny
Anywhere your comfortable, except in extreme public like at dinner, but in the bathroom oh for sure.
M=Masturbation - How they are when they get themselves off, what they get themselves off to.
He thinks of you, and you telling him what to do, how fast to go jack himself off or how slow.
N=NO - A few things that they will absolutely, under no circumstances, ever do.
Contuine if your whimpering or saying no, he'd know others would maybe just think of it as a moan but he always makes sure your comfortable
O=On's - Their top turn on's that they have (things that'll get them super horny super quickly).
You in tight fitted clone armor, hugging every curve
Lingere, especially if its a one peice swim suit deal, or a matching bralet and panty set with stocking and garters, hes even more horny if there the panties with a slit in them.
You in lace, especially if its red, white or black- maybe even all of them combined.
You standing up to his brothers and he dont mean just because there teasing- he means to squadrons of regs, and even soemtimes his closest brothers in clone force 99
P=Position - Their favorite position to have sex in.
Missionary or any varation because damn does he love those expressions you make, also he feels like hes being disrespectful if you dressed all pretty and sexy for him (like in lingerie) just to turn you around to fuck you doggy, but if you wanted to try doggy he'd be up for it.
Q=Quickie - Do they like it, do they prefer quickies over actual sex, etc.
Maybe once or twice you've been able to sneak away, usually when 79's is busy you two sneak away, your dress pulled up just above your breast showing your perky nipples and panties off on the floor, a leg on his hip as he fucked you.
He actually likes them alot, not over real sex but he likes seeing you pleased when he can please you.
R=Rough - How rough they are, or get, when in bed.
He really watches himself if he gets rough, scared to actually hurt you. He usually not too rough with you, but sometimes, like in the refresher it just slips and be becomes slightly animalistic, you're not complaining- sure it was hard to walk after but you'd do it all over again.
S=Stamina - How long they can go before they tap out.
Dont get me started
T=Toys - Do use toys, do they own them, what kind, etc.
No need he has you
U=Unfair - How much they tease you, how they tease you, etc.
He isnt unfair because in the end he'd just be teasing himself
V=Volume - How loud they get when having sex, things they might say, etc.
He can get loud, especially if your on top of him, he may beg or plead with you.
W=Wild Card - a random letter for the character of your choice.
S= Scenerios write a smexy scene or the ending of having it- something nsfw
She had begged Wrecker for it all day, and now she finally had it. Wrecker had her bent over and braced against the wall of the refresher stall of 79s. Thrusting deep in her cunt as she clenched around him. Her stomach in knots and her knees weak.
"H-harder!" She begged, Wrecker bent over her form as he held her hips. Groaning heavily in her ear she cried out as he slammed into her harder.
He hadn't even bothered with her panties or her dress. Her dress half way pulled up and panties pullled to the side as he destroyed her gut.
Crying out for a final time her stomach snapped as she groaned.
"Take it Mesh'la. All of it." He told her softly, his thrust becoming sloppy as he fucked her through her high.
Her eyes pricked with pleasurable tears and drool running down her chin as he slammed into her for a final time.
X=X-Ray - How they look with their clothes off.
She cried in pleasure as he groaned into her shoulder, his cum pouring into her already stuffed cunt.
He's big all around- Everything is big- hes a big guy
Y=Yearning - How often they need to have sex.
He ca go long periods without havibg sex like the others can you known because of oh I dont know- war. But he'd like to please you atleast three times in a week.
Z=ZZZ - How quickly they fall asleep after having sex.
He tries not to fall asleep quickly, but he will always hold you no matter what after.
#star wars wrecker#tbb headcanons#sw: tbb#the bad batch smut#x reader#wrecker x reader#wrecker headcanon#star wars: the bad batch#wrecker the bad batch#wrecker bad batch#the bad batch wrecker
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when you get a chance, thoughts on seer of space tubbo?
(i am also open to maid of space tubbo, and many others, but i am currently seer leaning)
*wakes up* oh boy time to classpect! under the readmore because seers are interesting enough that i ended up going on a tangent
of course no argument about the aspect because hes 100% a space player, ive discussed heir before i believe, so seer analysis it is, because i havent thought about it before (seers slip my mind sometimes, i love them, my brain is just the equivalent of a ground with a bunch of banana peels and cant handle having more than 4 coherent thoughts at a time).
like said with knights, he doesnt exactly try to tell anyone what he wants to come off as, sure he wants to be intimidating enough that people leave him alone, but, well. he does fit the intimidating thing, its less a facade and more a warning, he doesnt want to hurt anyone, but he will should he deem it necessary (thankfully, tubbos kind enough that he deems it unecessary in most cases). hes a bit too likely to follow through, and its bred from feeling unsafe, rather than feeling insecure. c!tubbo knows he can do things, the cc is more likely to downplay what he does than the character is (not that c!tubbo doesnt, but he does still believe in his abilities, he just doesnt think hes important enough to emphasize his impact. difference between going "oh no it was all __" and going "oh no it wasnt just me" when theres something hes done most of the work on)
so, he almost fits knight, at least in abilities, after all knights are capable and they know theyre capable, and hes very good at the exploitation aspect, pushing limitations and using them for their benefits. i could see him as maybe a knight thats actually gotten past the insecurity and facades already, if we're to consider his spy history as him being pre-actualization. being a space player doesnt really change how solid knight arcs are, so the combination of knight and space doesnt make knight much more fitting for tubbo
similarly, he does fit a few aspects of being a seer (having similar struggles, talking a shitton sometimes, sitting back and observing the world around him when he finds it beneficial to do so, generally very smart especially within their group), but not so much others (seers are often overbearingly smug in a way tubbos a bit too humble for, learning through education rather than experience, having a habit of getting too focused on their goal, and theyre overall passive, being too active is actually how they get themselves into shit, while tubbo gets hurt when hes too passive). seers of space focus more on the present than the future or past, which almost fits tubbo.. if it werent for the fact that he doesnt focus on the future or past out of repression cknsks. not that he would much anyways, but the intentional focus on the present is out of stubborness and trauma rather an actual trait of staying in the present. notably, theres quite a few times where tubbo does think about the past and future, especially when he was younger, and he does try to work towards his ideal future, he just doesnt talk about it much.
funnily enough, because of where seer falls through, he ends up being closer to the mage struggle of, well, getting their asses kicked when theyre too passive because things work out best when theyre involving themselves. mages also have that posturing thing as well, though its connected to intelligence (desperately trying to come off as smarter because they believe theyre still too dumb and naïve, even though theyre actually doing fine), so again, not exactly tubbos kind of posturing. plus, hes pissy, but not pissy enough for a mage, as theyre more likely to get caught up in how fed up they are with everything, while tubbo gets caught up in how much he still cares no matter how much he seems like he doesnt. the space aspect adds that theres.. a shitton of shit happening to and around him, which does fit, at least, and mages of space usually suffer because of their passions, knowledge, and experience, as well as they're rather hands on. again, fits, but, well.
seers and mages are a bit too focused on knowledge for the kind of person tubbo is. hes smart for sure, has a lot of knowledge, and even when hes not a spy he does want to know things and looks for that knowledge, but while he fits the goals and positives of seers (and mages), he doesnt exactly fit their flaws or what happens when theyre unhealthy. not that he needs to show signs of being unhealthy, but even healthy players still show an ability to be the unhealthy versions of their classes. he doesnt get his ass kicked for being too active and tunnel visioned like seers do (and it can sometimes come from ego trips, which tubbos very unlikely to have, even if he fits the "my solution is the most correct here, so we have to follow it" part of it all) like seers, he doesnt have any moments of just refusing to learn and complaining about how everything sucks rather than doing anything about it (nor is he likely too) like mages. he does vaguely fit where the unhealthiness of a knight can come in, propping up a shield to a ridiculous extent and lashing out when their insecurites are picked at, but that feels a bit too reckless to be tubbo (though it does fit tommy).
overall, i can kind of see seer for a slightly different version of tubbo, but it feels too passive for tubbo, if that makes sense. he is passive at least, in terms of classes anyways (note- despite how some classpectors define it, passive doesnt really mean you serve others, its not an insult, it just means you weave your aspect through others, rather than yourself. its the difference between a prince destroying x/destroying through x and a bard allowing destruction of x/inviting destruction through x. still listen to passive classes, thats what seers fall into after all, and seers are very important). its just that tubbo usually gets hurt by being too passive rather than getting hurt by being too active (not that it couldnt happen, which is why i say it could still fit under other circumstances).
speaking of passive v active, if i had to pick a passive class i feel fits tubbo the most, probably heir. active wise, id say maid does actually fit rather well. i feel like ive talked about maid tubbo before but i might be remembering a different analysis so just in case ill generally say i feel he fits the arc of going from a "doormat" to taking their life for themselves. theyre stubborn, stressed out from listening to others, like banter, occassionally silly and can start arguing in circles due to the stubborness (think that one patrick id scene, but smarter). maids are also heavy repressers, they fear being seen as weak, and are unwilling to ask for help. they rely on their environment and hate it.
and, painfully enough, some classpectors state that when pushed into being unhealthy, maids explode. maids are already intimidating on their own, being powerful and smart enough to know what to do with that power, and when they get stressed out enough, they, well, explode. they hurt everyone in one big event (think aradias actions in make her pay). its not necessarily a reckless lashing out at everyone like knights, but a giant burnout that happens to effect everyone. tubbos not at a point where it seems likely for this to happen, but i wouldnt be too surprised if something like it did happen were things to get too be too much. he is the mf with nukes after all. healthy maids are independent, with maids of space specifically, well, making space for themselves and others (sound like a certain snow commune anyone), attempting to start new lives. an independent maid, allowed to be their own person without anyone stepping on them, is a healthy maid. unfortunate for tubbo that his life fucking sucks too hard for him to really get to this point KEKW
heirs fit a similar "followed others then became more independent" arc, mostly unaware that theyre being lead around but, if whats happening aligns with their own ideals, dont really care much that theyre being a follower when they are aware of such. heirs have an instinct to stick to comfort, rather than an instinct to be independent like maids. heirs still need to find their independence and autonomy, but need to do so because they can change things, theyre also very powerful when they play correctly. however, going against what they may feel is best and is more comfortable for them can be actively painful, early heirs often would rather be comfortable and happy even if things arent going well than take the difficult route, know that theyll suffer, and temporarily risk comfort and happiness in an attempt to reach an end they dont know will be there for sure. they can deal with suffering, but choosing to stay constantly aware of this suffering hurts and they struggle with dealing with the fact that they need to be aware to stop the suffering.
heirs change by picking up on subtle details naturally, subconsciously effecting those around them, making either themself or others interact with their aspect differently (or actively not think with their own aspect, in a positive way). heirs, when self aware, want to help. thats an important detail, and its why heirs are often protagonists, they dont have the ambition to do things that only benefit themselves when they realize theyre in a position of power. at their core, heirs usually want to make things better, but learning to move on and better themselves can hurt, and it takes a lot for heirs to to let it be apart of the process.
unhealthy heirs fade. they get so stressed out by getting hurt that they shrink back into themselves, they stick with what makes them comfortable and refuse to acknowledge that they and others are hurting, wrapped up in their more selfish instincts and becoming hard and stressful to deal with. "i want everything to be okay" becomes "i dont want to deal with the idea that nothings okay right now", soon getting to "im okay and you cant tell me otherwise, fuck you if you want to take this away from me, you cant stop me but i will stop you". of course, that last one can be useful if a heir were to use it to change things for the better, but the tunnel vision on "i want to be comfortable even if im making others uncomfortable" is, well. shitty. unhealthy heirs wont actively try to hurt anyone unless pushed, but they can they can still manage to through a lack of acknowledging that they have to help. and well, that sounds somewhat like tubbo, the hurting through a lack of helping, at the very least its present in things like him not visiting tommy during exile (partially because it was safer to just not challenge dream, partially out of guilt and belief that tommy hated him)
heirs of space specifically are about flitting from project to project, learning about what interests them, impatient when others dont share their excitement, and learning when to adapt and move on from things. generally, if i had to put a scale on it, id say tubbos most likely to be a heir, then a maid, then a seer. it all depends on what aspects of him you wanna focus on, really. seer tubbo is really interesting though! i think seers are more smug than he is though, not that he doesnt have his moments, but his tendency to believe hes right isnt all too prominent compared to other traits of his, and its less from a smug "i know whats right" and more just a firm "this isnt right, i have a better idea". he wants to do whats right, but if he feels like he doesnt know whats right, hes willing to rely on others, it just.. takes him a bit of pushing to admit such
#i took like 5 hours on this hope you appreciate it max /lh#i enjoy classpecting though and i enjoy tubbo even more so its alright#dsmp#tubbo#dsmp classpects#hs#angel answers#long post#(iirc about 14 or 16 paragraphs maybe?#*)
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hey, i have a sister who struggles with addiction. she moved out from our parents to my place when she turned 18, so that she could have some space and that her highs and lows wouldnt affect our younger siblings that much. but shes been going through a hard time for quite long now, which causes her to treat us around her like complete shit. her behaviour led into a pretty bad argument, which led to me driving her to our parents in the middle of the night cause i couldnt mentally or physically handle the shit she was giving me anymore. after that night, she never returned to mine and told our parents to pick her stuff and move it into a new apartment that she got for herself (which locates in the same building as her friends who she uses substances with). she hasnt reached out to me at all, even though we have been around each other and i cant bare to approach her either, cause im still upset and hurt. my mom said that shes already prepared to lose her. i heard from her friends that shes told them that if she goes unconscious, theyre not allowed to call the ambulance or try to help her. i am worried sick to my stomach everytime i think about her and i feel so powerless. my parents just say that theres nothing more we can do, she goes to psychotherapy and shes under the social services but still i feel like we should do something more to help her or to stop her from destroying herself. im so sorry if this message makes you feel uncomfortable, but since ive followed you for quite awhile and i know your experiences with these things, i would appreciate if you could help me with this situation or at least try to give me some advice, how to cope with these feelings that come from loving your sister that struggles. i dont want to lose her.
hey, i am so sorry to hear this. there's a lot i could say and a lot i want to say but can't really articulate. i don't think there's any one size fits all advice for such a complex and heartbreaking situation. i guess i'll begin with what i'm sure of, and that is that your boundaries and feelings are justified. addiction literally rewires your brain and perception of the world beyond recognition, to the point where the only thing the person cares about is their vice. it's just total tunnel vision, selfishness denial and violence on top of selfishness denial and violence. being around ppl like that, especially a loved one, is beyond exhausting, it's its own special kind of hell. like screaming at a brick wall. it's totally understandable that you had to take a step back after falling victim to her erratic, manipulative and abusive behaviour. the drug use explains it but it absolutely does not excuse it. you're really brave for putting your foot down and prioritizing your own mental stability when it all got to be too much. know you never have to regret that. having said that, it's possible for two conflicting feelings to coexist and for them both to be (for lack of a better word) valid. she's your sister - of course you're worried, of course you're terrified for her. of course you love her even while feeling like you hate her, at times. it's alright to let your emotions be illogical, to just weather the storm and let them pass through you. write it down, talk to your loved ones, maybe consider speaking to a therapist or hotline over it. it's perfectly normal to need that support and talking through your circumstances may be illuminating/lead to some personal revelations regarding how you want to approach this. ultimately, you're angry because you care. after a while i was like that too, with my sister. although i tried to let her know that i was more worried than frustrated during our conversations, sometimes i still couldn't help the internal rage. all because i wanted her to wake up to reality and for her to be okay - i didn't get her thought process at all, didn't get her version of the world. and i felt so fucking powerless because she just strayed so quickly from her path, despite what she was telling me, despite her being relatively fine mere months prior. despite us being best friends and on good terms. it's a headfuck, and you don't have to know what to do, you don't have to have anything figured out. just try to focus on what you need, today.
the hardest thing to accept is the fundamental truth of the situation, and that is that you can't fix this for her. can't love her out of it, can't enable her out of it, can't fight her out of it. all you can do is be there for her emotionally while still maintaining the appropriate boundaries necessary to preserve ur own mental wellbeing. it's completely okay if you need more time - i know you said you cant bear to reach out to her at the moment, which makes total sense. but since you sent this message and i can still see that you're beyond concerned and it's only getting worse, maybe you could consider calling her or sending her a text or meeting her for coffee when you're ready. just to let her know you haven't stopped thinking of her. and that you care about her so much, that when/if she's ready to get help you will be with her every step of the way. even if shes battling addiction for the rest of her life. if she screams at you, if she breaks down, if she ignores you for what you say - fine. but at least she'll know on some level that she is not alone, and at least you'll know you did what you could with what was in your control. also about her being under social services - is there any way you could get in touch with them, maybe explain that youre still worried about her and that you think she needs a higher level of care, maybe ask them if theres anything proactive you can do in collaboration with them to maximize the help shes getting? i dont know how it works where you are, that might be a no go, but i just thought i'd mention it. i'm sorry, i know it's a disappointing answer, but i really don't realistically think there's any other. there's only so much of this that is in your hands and so far it sounds like you've done and are doing everything possible to stay sane while looking out for her. i really really hope something clicks for her and that she starts to listen to you and her loved ones soon, that she begins to approach recovery out of the genuine need to get better. but it really does have to come from within her, all you can do is encourage it. im sending you both so much love. i know more than anyone how fucking stressful it is to have to wake up to this every day, and i'm so sorry. if you need someone to talk to, my inbox will always be open. you deserve peace in your own life, too. take care x
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