22/4/2024

I was playing a video game that was a competitive card game style thing. The tutorial stage of it was playing against a talking Brachiosaurus who would mock you when you made a bad play.

You are really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really REALLY great!

It was really foggy this morning so I decided to make some foggy cards. See that tree in the distance, shrouded in clouds?

It's coming to kick your ass.

For the ask game, 🔪, ❄️ and 🦴 :3

ask game

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

ohh ok this is hard. A dream theme would probably be a good mystery I can't start piecing together or a horror novel that scares me. For mystery I oddly enough think Brandon Sanderson would be good. I've been unable to predict things moving forward in the Stormlight Archives. But honestly I think it would be written best by someone who hasn't even tried before. There's a way of placing clues in a mystery I feel a lot of people follow. Most of the time those clues placed by someone new wouldn't have the same easy to tell hints and tips.

For horror I kind of am expecting Lydia Prime to do it. She's a newer author on the horror scene (actually have a book she just managed to publish I plan to pick up). I also some comedians would be good at it. Comedy is kind of the other side, takes a lot to do it. I don't know who would be best for this outside of like a pro author. I'm pretty hard to scare, make a habit of marathoning horror games and horror movies just because. That does mean I get psyched to read any horror sent my way that might be good!

For a dream plot it's kinda hard to say. I know how my brain works, but honestly even if i'm not super into it I just like seeing people posting/sharing the stuff they put their time into. It's so scary to take that first step so it's really amazing when someone does and they keep going.

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? 

Ok so this one is kind of a lot. For some of my stories it's probably some myth, post, or my own daydream mixed from anime/games/books throughout the years.

Specific media would be MTG Streets of New Capenna set (Mafia AU), Fenyx Rising (Delphia rising), FF14 (some fanfics and an au i am working on), Oddly enough a story I have on and off struggled with was inspired by a yugioh series, Godzilla vs Kong (the fight for Rhys and Felix in mafia au). My gods might have been inspired by the old hercules disney movie.

Oh Delphia is a bit inspired by an Kagome in Inuyasha (got me looking into reincarnation). oh and a book series I read forever and ever ago. The Eternal Ones by Kirsten Miller. (I went to my bookshelf to find this title.)

I also do love mythology and folklore so I'm sure that's a big inspiration even if it's not obvious. (obsessed with fairies since I was like born. My sister can't even remember a time i wasn't).

Basically it's everything? I have a few characters I've realized over time fit a meme a little or i put together match someone i loved from a game.

Oh last one I can think of. Alice in Wonderland. I loved that from the disney movie, to the books, to the manga based in it, to the new tim burton movies. Pretty much the only time I haven't liked it was in RWBY 😅

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? I feel weird leaving this one out in the open, but like also it's not exactly nsfw. just a little insight into my weird thought process at times

ok so originally it was gonna be the general size of a dick/vagina of the average person to then do the ratio for how big it should be for a giant/how small for a tiny. In searching for this math (cause ofc i only shared it on discord) I realized i had an entire discussion that involved at least a little research where i determined it's incredibly viable that if giants and tinies are under the same homo species it would possible to successfully get pregnant in a multisize couple with the question being the survival rate of the child/birth parent dependent on a number of factors....

I used the dick knowledge in one (1) specific story i wrote on ao3. The pregnancy knowledge was lost until now.

Most likely to get me arrested was how much a person could move after a stab wound

for those curious this was the percentages i came up with are under the cut

balls: 2.7% of total height per ball dick: 6.9% of total height pussy opening: 4.8% of total height pussy depth: 6.3% of total height

Why are ppl turning to a porn blog for advice? You're in no way qualified to actually answer & no one wants to read shit about their problems. It can be incredibly triggering for some ppl & its just boring & uninteresting for others. If they want advice they can get a fucking therapist instead of just dumping their trauma on some random person on the internet who isn't prepared to help them

So a few things here. 1) I am sorry to anyone who got triggered from the last few advice asks. I didn't think they needed a trigger warning, but obviously, I was wrong and I will try to tag things better in the future. 2) Fun fact. This is my blog. Not yours anon. So I get to answer and post whatever the fuck I want. Sometimes it will be posts about how cute someone looks when they're on their back, legs spread, pathetically begging to get bred. Other times it's gonna be me nerding out about MTG or TTRPGs. And yet other times its just gonna be me posting random shit cause hey, it's my blog, and I will do with it whatever I want. Some asks don't get posted because I have no idea of how to help the person. Others because I don't have the spoons to cover something or am feeling overwhelmed. But at the end of the day, it's entirely up to me, not you. 3) If I wasn't okay with it, I would post and say something, wouldn't I? I've done it before when creepy cisdudes or annoying af fanatical christians have flooded my asks. So obviously I can set my own limits, and don't need you to set them for me. 4) Sometimes it can feel very nice to talk to someone who has no weight in your life. And therapists can be fucking expensive and I don't know if you realized this yet but uh...a lot of people don't have the fucking funds for that kinda thing. It's almost like our systems want to keep them poor and underfunded so they can't get help. 5) Kindly fuck off.

Well we have Raws, glad to be back, try not to do heavy speculation between then and official release. New cardboard haul! There's a lot I want right now and we're peak season for anything greenhouse/nursery related so the extra money + extra need for a little treat is high. Seeing my second peak silly boy in the mail is a nice one. Remember I use him with Iceburg, who can cheat around the enormous cost of Luffy's extra turn effect.

The Uta promos are cool and they've really crashed on sites like TCGplayer. If you like her grab them now because that won't last forever. I just love the idea of playing a deck that's her and her songbook. Helps I like Green decks that are a little more aggressive. She's not that different than what I try to do with Oden. Speaking of...I kinda missed how absolutely nutso bonkers this new Mihawk from the Zoro/Sanji starter is. Thankfully I was able to save a little finding two of the deck that sweetie actually wanted to play the bulk of. 2k counter, and can chain an extra slash-type character for free on a relatively cheap body?

Gee, wonder which type samurai tend to be. Oden has room for one good non-Wano type card. Mihawk is him in spades. While I could use him in G/Y Yamato...I wasn't feeling it. The leader is great, but the combination of cards available? I don't like how slow Green/Yellow together are. I've compared Oden to Merfolk in MtG, that was an anomaly for being the slow, controlling color (blue) doing an aggressive strategy. You usually hear it called "tempo." I like that, Mihawk and the Ryuma zombie from set 06 that gets Wano-typed are enough of a boost for good ol Oden 1.0 and his phenomenal ability.

The Problem with Fame (and money)

Have you ever been in a position where you were famous, and didn't know it? (BEFORE IT GOES TO MY HEAD.)

Imagine all of a sudden, a lot of theoretical dollars get sent to your YouTube bank account.

<aside>Theoretical Dollars is a South Park '08 reference, before YouTube and social media paid their users for good content, you could suddenly get famous. And people just assumed that meant you had $$. Despite being flat broke, and just having a lot of "Likes".

Even today, especially with the "Got paid by Musk on X" jokes; laymem assume that online persona's make *bank*. Who paid them? You?</aside>

That wasn't really an aside this time, it's kinda important.

Even today, you could have like 40k karma on Reddit, and all of a sudden; people think you can do whatever. You can pay for everything! Make everybody's troubles go away.

This gets even more problematic with the fact that people who can make a profit off of other people's fame (your tabloids, your TMZ, your X personalities who *do* make money from outrage content.)

And people who don't know they're famous get hurt for it. Or sometimes benefit from others starstuck-ness without knowing it.

Despite *only* having 40k reddit karma myself, I've had to tell people that no, I'm not internet famous. Not even Reddit Famous. I deleted my account because of old friends who thought I was a walking ATM machine (as opposed to atmospheric or "at the moment")

No bruh.

My own mother constantly asks for handouts. I can't call her a bad mother; but the only thing she sees me as is what she can get for free: bus driver, cigarettes, pocket change, and free home repair.

Despite only having enough to live off of.

And none of these people *fully* understand how money actually works, or how a paycheck works. Which is really sad for anybody above the age of 25. (And sometimes younger.)

If you need a couple thousand a month to make food and bills; you should understand its the *same* f* concept for anybody else you know. And despite being able to do math; they refuse to do that; think like a rational adult, that every person has monetary needs that need to be met. And just keep seeing people as a way to get their next fix. (That is; free stuff, not necessarily free drugs)

"I'm not looking to adopt a 30+ year old at the moment. You need to grow the duck up."

I've literally been harassed by people that I know for not spending money on them; and spending money to start a business. They see the *new* things they don't have.

Even if it just trinkets and collectibles from when you were young. (No I know why, they see graded Beta Magic Cards on pawn stars and they think *every single MTG card is $$*) f*ing commodification.

I seriously don't understand people's thoughts processes.

Well actually. I do.

See, Melin Shoot seems to be mediocritcally known in certain circles. (That's me, I'm Melin; everybody thinks its a stage name.that I use professionally. DESPITE ONLY EVER HAVING BEEN ENLISTED MILITARY PROFESSIONALLY FOR A DECADE.)

And I didn't know that. Cuz nobody told me. Even today people think their own weird thoughts. Like *how much money I must've made for showing up on somebody else's stream*

It sounds like I'm fluffing up my own fame. I'm talking about being a minor character, a very minor character, everywhere... And people *think* I have more pull than I do.

I don't. I absolutely don't.

And yet for some reason; there's this strange way people act around me. As if I *was* somebody famous.

If you can be harassed for being mildly associated with Fame. And people can make money off of you without you making any money for the same: I cannot imagine how awful it must be for those who are *actually* famous.

$*. Imagine being famous for giving the president a blowjob and then just not being able to get a regular job after that ...

not to be a debby downer and i'm sure everything will go fine and you'll have nothing to worry about but as someone who has had far too many bad experiences with men, do you have a plan for what you're going to do if it turns out your friend's intentions uhhhh extend beyond the bounds of a friendship if you catch my drift? I'm sure it will be ok and he sounds like a genuinely good friend but some men are dodgy out here and it can be especially hard to suss someone out online so it's always good to have an escape route mapped out in advanced yknow what I mean? (assuming you wouldn't be down for it lol idk your relationship)

Oh no for sure it is a perfectly valid concern and I don't blame you for being worried at all. Given my family history and background I myself am one of those "women should always be careful being alone with men" kinds of people

So uh this is something I have already considered because to be perfectly honest we did have. Some sexual tension in the past. And you know idk if he still feels any attraction to me. In the past it was just kind of being inappropriate with each other for a while but I eventually kind of started realizing "hey do I just get like unhealthy levels of attached to men who show me approval and such" and I kinda had a little baby crush on him and I wasn't exactly sure if that was like related to daddy issues but. That was in the past and im hoping he doesn't remember it but I think he'll probably be cool about it if he does but I hope he doesn't bring it up bc I'll be so embarrassed, I was a little wild back then emotionally and impulsively 💀

I mean I guess my overall stance is, if things were going good and he got a little flirty I would maybe be receptive to it but like it would be hard for us to have any sort of deeper relationship living in two different countries. Like ok so hypothetically we would bang or something but dating would be long distance and idk if my heart could take that so it's like is it worth sacrificing our friendship for something physical, I doubt I could be one of those friends with benefits, I have attachment issues that I don't think would mesh well, idk. Although to be perfectly honest going to see him isn't especially difficult, the expensive thing is mostly having to pay for a hotel while I visit because he has housemates, which, apparently Canada has one of the most expensive housing markets in the entire world and I think all of my Canadian friends either have multiple roommates or live with their parents which sounds scary haha, and we were randomly talking about US citizenship one day and how bullshit the process to renounce it was (I was speaking of it in regards to joking about moving to Europe) and he mentioned that it was a big reason he wasn't interested in US citizenship

So. I dunno. I guess my overall answer is "he's someone I trust and feel affection for at least platonically but I also recognize I have my own mental health issues and past trauma that can kind of affect how I interact and am influenced by men and maybe I should just avoid certain things entirely"

But until then he's asking if I would be interested in learning how to play MTG and he's asking me to bring soup to make into this dip and he bought some weed and it sounds like it'll be a lot of fun :) idk. I am mentally preparing myself for. Idk. Stuff. But there's no use making myself paranoid over it, and also my mom keeps trying to wig me out

We'll see fjdjfjfjf im probably going to intend to keep things chill and I don't have any fears of him trying to force me into anything but if things got too awkward like, I have my own motel room and money and can have the rest of my vacation by myself I guess

Eyy. Im sorta back.

I got on some meds, got off the meds, now im back to "normal." I didnt know how good I had it.

I'm sick of my social anxiety crippling my social life, so I asked my doctor for drugs and he was pretty okay with just letting me have some. Turns out they just made me asocial and literally demolished my creative impetus. Now that I'm off them again, I got actual inspiration to write, thankfully. Not just to write, but to create literally anything from stories to jokes to MTG decks.

Now I'm trying to get on ADHD meds, but I'm undiagnosed and pretty damn sure theyll help. I'm kinda sick of being so restless, among other stereotypical issues.

The aforementioned meds did dull my depressive episodes, but they also stretched them out. That wasn't fun. I was mostly permanently in a lazy state with nothing being fun.

All this talk of drugging myself is because I want to press these magical buttons which change me. I don't care if I turn out worse because its temporary and I really just need to feel something different. After getting dangerously drunk for the first time, I accepted the fact that I enjoy fucking myself up since its so... different. I don't know how to describe it fully; I just really want to feel something which I don't currently feel. I want to see the world in another light, from another angle. I need to experience more, purely for my own pleasure.

So I'm trying to impair my cognitive abilities. I want to drink more, I want to smoke more, I want to take more meds, and I don't have easy access to any because I don't have a fake ID (and cant be bothered to get one). In any given stupor I put myself in, I know that I can affect my life outside of the haze with which I drown in (exemplified by my horrendously embarrassing confession to JH while drunk).

Where does that leave me now?

I havent had the Urge at all while on my med. Now that I'm off it, it's hitting sort of hard again. I've been sewing pins again, but it's been so long that I don't remember what I'm supposed to be feeling. My Urge to leave is less lik a real urge and more like a goal, like "why wouldnt I work towards this? I want to go. Not now, but when I'm done with what I'm doing right now."

Thats where I am so far.

Thanks for listening.

Thanks for finding me.

Man, glad I haven't spent anything on mtg directly in 3 years (I still spend money on like sleeves and ink). Wish that was a bit longer, but I was kinda getting lazy with holiday gifts. Currently the only avenues I regularly play MTG are: A) EDH in person on Saturdays B) EDH over tabletop simulator on Tuesdays (started during pandemic) both with the same group of IRL friends. My friends are cool with proxies so there's no reason for giving wizards more money (and obviously plenty . Although, one of them has gone "I like to put money into the industries for my hobbies" as a semi-brag a few times, and she should take a hint that that's not gunna work on me. Funny enough, I think the most money I spent on MTG was during college where I was hosting regular drafts. Granted I wasn't really spending my money there, I priced it at like $12 which would cover the cost of the box and my draft entry if I could grab the box for $80. I let people decide whether they wanted the rest of the box as participation pack or have them all as a big prize for 1st/2nd place. I think I still would've gone back and done those. I just wouldn't have bought boxes for myself. Gave me a too big hoard of cardboard for too much and money to a company that was not that worth receiving it. So some regrets, but overall happy with where I'm at with it now.

12, 23, 37, 49 for OC questions!

wasn't actually expecting to get asked anything holy crap!

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

@acheyri's FFXIV character Svee! I have never been so obsessed with an OC that wasn't my own, but I genuinely love Svee so so much, both her design and her story. She's complicated and messy and real, and Ripley's art and discussions about her are absolutely fantastic.

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

Ough, that would be Sira, my very first OC. I don't have any pictures of her first design (when I was 8-10) because I never took photos of it and have long since lost the journal she was doodled in, but she was a completely human girl with brown hair and ordinary human blue eyes. She was one of three protagonists of a very very YA "series" I was writing about three human girls who became nonhuman through shenanigans and had perfect nonhuman boyfriends and saved the world lmao. Then when I first joined the furry community, I reworked her into a cat/dragon (and supposedly wolverine but I was 12 and this was literally never shown in her design) hybrid:

(old art by @felisrandomis - like, 11 years ago old lol)

over the years i reworked her again and sort of merged her with another character of mine, a werecat assassin, and bounced her through several design changes. I made her dark gray with light gray rosettes, dark gray with blue rosettes, then finally settled on and stayed with silvery gray with darker gray rosettes.

(art by Chandraken - also 11 years old; i went through changes for Sira rapidfire for a while there lol)

(crop of the last ref i did for her a few years ago. she does have a fully human form but I used to draw her as an anthro or neko 90% of the time so)

Her story is also waaaaay different than the original iteration. Rather than a 13 year old girl who magically saves the world with no pain or consequences and also gains cool powers and a hot boyfriend, she's now a bitchy, traumatized adult assassin/ex child soldier locked into a life contract with an employer she wants to kill. She also murdered her husband (he kinda deserved it). Her storyline... really does not have a happy ending any more.

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

How human do they have to be/appear to fit the "not quite"? By my definition Sira would qualify, as would my answers to number 49, and also this dude!

Greirat, local satyr boy. One of two different satyr OCs I have and definitely the more wild one despite having such a sweet face. He's lowkey a shapeshifter and his true form is a cat-satyr creature created by @.Felisrandomis, so this is about as human as his appearance can get:

His ref sheet is like. The only art I've ever drawn of him and I really oughtta fix that sometime. Maybe tweak his design a little, now that I think about it.

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

My MTG oc Mestas, hands down. Lovac, one of my FFXIV ocs, would be a very close second, and it's probably a good thing those two exist in totally separate universes, because they'd likely drive their friends batshit constantly memeing back and forth with each other.

If social media was a thing on Ravnica, Mes would totally be a tumblr blogger. She'd constantly post memes about her friends, the guilds, and any prominent characters from canon. She'd @ Jace Beleren in every single one. He has no idea who she is or how she got his contact information. He's blocked her 16 times and she still manages to do it. She doesn't even have multiple accounts.

No pics for these two cause I'm redoing Mestas' ref and I changed Lovac's skin tone, and my only saved screenshots of him are from before that. He's not my main file so I rarely play him OTL.

I think my therapist is a bit insecure. I suppose that makes him human, but I also kinda feel like I have to watch what I say sometimes.

This past meeting he was coughing, I asked if he was ok, he said he hadn't talked to anyone yet this morning& was 'chunky' I laughed& said that's not very attractive. Next time he coughed he turned off the mic, then apologized for his morning pleghm. Yuck. Later in conversation he made a comment about 'attractive ppl, unlike us'...& I'm thinking, did he just call me unattractive? Was that in response to my earlier comment?

I tried not to read into it, but later when he looked at my next appts, he said "all 9" which is his first appt of the day, when he probably coughs the most.

Well. Sorry. I wasn't trying to insult him, I just wanted to make sure he was ok.

Another MTG, I was commenting how I wasn't sure therapy was working. Later in that MTG he snapped at me, saying "well how hard do you want to work?" in response to my dismissal of one of his questions. Made me feel like crap, cuz I certainly thought I was trying. Kinda wrote it off that he was pushing me a bit, not necessarily a bad thing.

I'm sure I'm just reading into it. It's just been kinda bugging me.

Do you have any weird decks mommy?

Most of them. At least, I think they're a little weird. A lot of the online stuff that you see with mtg is like "THIS IS THE MOST OPTIMAL WAY TO BUILD X DECK!" or "THIS CARD HAS SO MUCH VALUE!" I don't really care about an optimal way to build a deck or which cards are technically the best for what I'm doing, to a degree. I still want a deck to function and do what it does, but I don't necessarily need it to be the most effective way of doing it, if that makes sense. I like to build a deck around a specific flavor or theme. And I don't mean like a mechanic theme as much as an aesthetic one. One of my decks is a +1/+1 counter deck technically. All about boosting cards up to be heavy hitters. If I was gonna do this the best, scariest way possible, I'd probably pick something like Atraxa who is just utterly terrifying with that. But, I didn't go in wanting a +1/+1 deck, so Atraxa wasn't even on my radar for it. I went in going "I really like Tarkir. I wonder if I can build a deck for each of the factions of that plane in a way that works mostly using the cards from their faction". So I looked up all the cards with the Abzan/Dromoka watermark and tried to figure out how to go about it. It just happened that the way to make it work and be fun was to build them like a +1/+1 deck. When I looked at the Mardu one I figured it was best to go Warrior Tribal with combat as the focus. Both of them work with the cards in that weird niche that I'm trying to limit myself to and make building a deck with this specific flavor fun for me. And just a little extra, for Jeskai its monks, kinda obvious but still kinda cool. Just not Narset as the commander because if you bring her to an event people are gonna assume you're doing her broken build and I don't want to get turned into the archenemy the moment I reveal my commander dammit. For Temur its basically just big beefy creatures, with benefits whenever you cast one with power...I think 4 and above. The only Tarkir one I can't fucking crack is Sultai. It is the bane of my existence. I will figure it out one day, but for now it sits there, mocking me, taunting me. DAMN YOU SULTAI.

Yeah, both this one and the Goodbye theme had references to every previous CH theme (some more subtle than others)

And I'm glad you liked the edits to the art, because I spent unreasonably long on them (and it's nice to know I wasn't the only one laughing at the Enchanted Forest one)

I once made the worst MTG deck ever. I realized that if a normal deck runs like 24 creatures and 12 removal cards, then if I play a deck with no creatures in it, the opponent's removal cards become useless. So if I have 36 removal cards against their ~24 creatures, I can remove everything they play and I'll never lose. All I need is 2-3 win condition cards. The result was a deck of pure evil: Hyper control.

Amazingly, the deck actually worked kinda well! It wasn't fun for anyone, but it won games, and it was very satisfying to just say NO to all the infuriating overpowered rare cards I always lost to. Turns out a 5-mana 10/10 doesn't matter if you just cast murder on it. The deck even survived standard rotation (it was standard, because no way am I trying my chances in historic). The first version of the deck used Ill-Gotten Inheritance, and the second version used Dogged Pursuit. Unfortunately, there have been no good win condition cards since Dominaria United, and mill without blue (blue doesn't have enough permanent removal) would take WAY too long. I did actually win some games via deckout, but it was too slow.

But recently, with strong removal cards like Planar Disruption and Ossification, I wanted to try it again. And I realized a certain card had been sitting in my collection...

Hyper control still works