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ode2rin · 8 months

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it has become an awful pattern of habit how much itoshi sae always shows up at your doorstep only when he wants to.

“don’t go out with oliver.”

and here he was again, like a recurring relapse that happens every single time you thought you’re doing better. the kind that hits when you think you're finally making progress, that momentary flicker of doing better before it all crumbles.

and you were. you’re doing good, doing better, but god, does it hurt like hell when he pulls stunts like this.

it was a relentless tug-of-war, a game he played so unfairly, leaving you with no rules, no defenses. you were damn sick of it.

“really?” the word escaped as a scoff, a blend of disbelief and irritation coating your voice. “you're showing up to my place at this hour just to say that?”

a drawn-out exhale left sae's lips at your reaction, the scent of alcohol accompanying it—a scent foreign to the sae you'd known. was he drinking? itoshi sae doesn’t drink – or at least the sae you knew would never let a single drop of alcohol taint his flesh.

“just don’t. he’ll hurt you.”

a bitter laugh escaped you, “you're one to talk about hurting people, aren't you?”

if you didn't know better, you'd mistake the look he shot you for something resembling an apology mixed with regret. but no, you knew that those eyes can never hold such, not for you, not for anyone.

“news flash, itoshi. you don’t have the right to decide who i can or cannot go out with.”

“don’t i?”

his challenge lingered in the air, a question not constrained by words but driven by conflicting wills, a daring meeting of gazes that had been evaded until now.

you're so fucking unfair, itoshi sae.

“leave,” you spat, your grip on the doorknob tightened, fingers almost digging into the cool metal.

“don’t i, y/n? do i not have a right to you?”

“please, sae. just go,” you murmured, eyes squeezed shut, a trace of tears threatening to break free.

“— because you have all damn rights to me that it fucking terrifies me.”

and there it was.

the vulnerability he so fiercely and stubbornly concealed, laid bare for you to witness. it slipped out like an admission, raw and unguarded.

sae's insides churned as your gaze bore into him, the intensity of it feeling like a searing heat that left him exposed, his thoughts laid bare. it was as if you were looking at him as if he had grown a second head, an incredulity mirrored in his own disbelief at what he had just blurted.

but it’s the truth, a truth etched not in alcohol-induced haze but in the sobering clarity that you, ever loving you, terrified him.

“you– you terrify me," his words stumbled out, like he was admitting a secret he never meant to reveal. “you’re the first thought that comes to my mind, and the last one before i sleep. i feel you everywhere, your presence, your absence — it terrifies me, y/n.”

he ran a hand through his hair, a gesture of frustration that echoed the inner chaos he couldn't quite contain. the sting of alcohol just added to the jumble of thoughts, like mixing a cocktail of emotions he wasn't prepared to deal with.

sae had never been great with handling drinks, and here he was, wearing his heart on his sleeve, a little more vulnerable than he’d intended.

after all, a body so foreign to alcohol can only handle so much.

and it's ironic how that also applies to sae's acceptance of your love – like a liquor he's not used to, but still very much would like a taste.

he knew he had absolutely no right to show up here; he had no right to stop you from going out with another man; he had no right to claim a part of you, not after he shattered your heart because he was afraid of his own.

he knew that, but itoshi sae is selfish. he wanted you, terrifyingly so. he hoped — prayed, even—no one will ever have you the same way he does.

and he meant that in the most selfish way possible. because, time and time again, itoshi sae was selfish, even more so when it came to loving you.

“it terrifies me,” he carried on, a touch firmer this time, his gaze unyielding as it held yours, “how much you consume me, and it frightens me even more how much i would let you.”

“then just let me, you stupid asshole.”

the words burst out of you, a declaration that felt like a leap of faith. your arms instinctively reached out, embracing him as if to underscore your determination. you had caught his confession like a lifeline, and now it was your turn to throw your heart into the mix.

“and you have all the damn rights to me too,” you murmured against his lips.

the truth is, he doesn't deserve you, not in the slightest. but god, you want him to— so bad. and after hearing what he said, you knew he wanted the same thing too.

you wrap your arms tighter around him, and it's like fitting together two missing pieces. you missed this, missed him. no amount of trying will ever relieve the longing. because truth be told, hearts aren't great at playing hide and seek; that much can be seen from the way you’re both holding on to each other.

“i'll love you slowly, until it's not scary, until you get used to it,” you whispered, forehead pressed against his.

in the quiet space between your whispered words, sae felt the world shift beneath his feet.

love with you wasn't meant to be frightening. love with you wasn't meant to be all-consuming.

love with you, he realized, only needed to be exactly like this— your fingers against his nape, a smile curving your lips, and the assurance in your gaze that promised better times ahead.

“i’ll get used to it.” maybe the words came off wobbly, but he couldn’t care any less now; it was a promise.

“you better.” you let out a chuckle, genuine this time, and it took just one chuckle for sae to realize that everything will be just fine.

[extra]:

“sae?”

you pull his attention, sensing his wakefulness from the lingering kisses he peppers on your skin. the same man who laid bare his heart to you was sprawled within your sheets, his breathing gentle against your neck.

though his lips stay sealed, the comforting squeeze of your hand relays that he was listening.

“where did you hear that i’m going out with oliver?”

a brief pause, followed by a scoff. way to ruin a moment, sae’s inner voice grumbles at the timing of your question. why bring up another guy's name now, especially when he's shirtless and right above you? the nerve.

“doesn’t matter.” he dismisses your question.

yet, there's something oddly satisfying about riling up the usually composed sae, it’s one of your life’s greatest pleasures. and so, you press on, unable to resist the urge to tease.

“come on, now. i want to know what made my cold and grumpy sae to show up at my door at 2 am, professing that i terrify him,” you pushed, meeting his irritated glare with an arched brow. “— and don’t give me that look. those were your words, not mine!”

tch. he clicks his tongue, fully aware you won't let him live down his confession. “got it from shidou. he told me right before asking me to drink with him.”

as those words escape sae’s lips, you burst into laughter, leaving him to wonder if he broke you with last night's late-night affection.

“what’s so funny?” he raises an eyebrow at your sudden outburst.

“shidou tricked you into drinking with him, love. i turned down oliver without a second thought. we didn't even get close to going on a date,” you playfully reveal, your grin growing. “i kind of mentioned that to shidou. we share gossip occasionally, you know.”

sae froze at what you said, and he didn’t need no damn mirror to see that he was turning red from the embarrassment and realization that he had been lured to drink.

“i’ll kill him.”

“and i’ll thank him.” may shidou get all the dopamine he so cunningly desires.

note. i also don't know what this is so don't look at me now :P i'm throwing tomatoes at myself

#☁️ my ode to you #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae #itoshi sae x y/n #blue lock x reader #blue lock imagines #itoshi sae fluff #bllk x reader #bllk imagines #sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi #itoshi sae angst #blue lock angst

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milksuu · 2 months

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can I get some headcannons based on Heartsteal being becoming fathers? Like how they were during the time their s/o was pregnant. :3c

Maybe a bonus on whether the child was planned or not.

❥ prompt: v!heartsteel expecting father headcanons with reader ❥ content/warnings: suggestive themes, foul language, pregnancy and all things related, baby genders mentioned ❥ characters/pairings: Heartsteel! (aphelios, ezreal, kayn) x pregnant!reader an;; forgive me, i am too sleepy tired to write for all the boys atm. ;w; fml my hc's for sett would make me fold errr maybe later

░꒱♡‿ִ₊˚→ APHELIOS

When you break the news, Aphelios forgets he primarily uses sign language to speak. To your surprise, and to his own, he uses broken words and barely audible sounds. Almost like a child learning to talk again. You have to help him by taking his hands, and guiding him to use them instead of straining his vocal cords.

'Are...are you sure?'

At first, it's difficult to process all the emotions. Happiness. Fear. Excitement. Anxiety. Love. Overwhelmed, he presses your hands against his face, hiding his unraveling expressions. Afer a beat, he chokes up. His hands squeezes yours, deepening your touch. And within moments, you're wrapped in his arms. And he presses as much of you into himself as he can. Holding you so close to his heart, you feel it pound against your cheek. As if to say; 'is it really okay for me to be this happy?'

To any outsider looking in, Aphelios seems disconnected and unenthusiastic about the whole situation. A plus-one wasn't planned, after all. When anyone asks about you and the baby, he replies with a simple 'Fine. Thanks.' And promptly diverts the subject back to work or anything else. But on the inside, the poor man is suffering. Constantly worrying about you and the babies well-being. In reality, he's too afraid to indulge in his own happiness and share it with others. Fearing the moment he does, it'll all shatter like glass in front of him. And he won't be strong enough to mend the pieces.

It's no surprise that his new chronic obsession consist of only making sure you and the growing baby are safe. He texts every hour, on the hour. Makes frequent video calls. And installs motion sensor cameras around the house, especially in places you could easily fall. And no, he doesn't mind watching you fold laundry or wash dishes for an hour while on a face call. So long as he can see you smiling and healthy, that's all he needs to assure him when he's not physically with you.

He's also pulling all nighters until his bottom eyelids are rimmed red. Reading hundreds upon hundreds of articles, forum posts, and online material on how to be a 'Good Father'—especially one who can't speak. Jotting down everything he can in his notebook, bleeding pen after pen dry from ink. There's plenty of times you have to wake up in the middle of the night and convince him back to bed. But only after reassuring him a thousands times how great of a father he'll be.

When the baby bump begins to show, Aphelios presses his ears against your stomach. Listening to the life you carry inside you. The amniotic sounds ease his intrusive thoughts, and lulls him to sleep; he always imagines he's taking a nap right beside the baby. Plus, he loves getting the small bit of attention from you as you run your fingers through his hair. A moment of selfishness he can't help but relish all for himself.

As for sex...well, he's not always on board with the idea. As much as he craves to be inside you everyday, especially when your body looks so heavenly full, he just doesn't want to risk anything. Especially in your later months. Last thing he wants to do is induce an early labor. But he's more than willing to devote his hands and mouth to satisfy every inch of you that he can. Worshipping you with adoring kisses and soft touches from head to toe. He's happy to please you, and doesn't expect anything in return in your state. (Of course, you do anyway.)

Familial genetics is one heck of a thing. Aphelio's eyes are blown wide at an image screen that shows two babies growing side-by-side. When it's conclusive you'd be having identical twin boys, he almost collapses in front of the ultrasound technician. So not one—but two—surprise gifts waited for him at the end of the third-trimester. And if they would be anything like him, their house would be a pranking death trap to all who entered. No one would be safe, except for mom.

░꒱♡‿ִ₊˚→ EZREAL

When you show Ezreal your pregnancy result, he looks at it with complete shock. He's locked in silence, which is never a good thing for someone as talkative as him. You almost have second thoughts about revealing the news until he bounces to you and gathers you in his arms. Eyes brimming with tears of absolute joy.

"No way—No way! Are you telling me I'm going to be a dad? Babe, for real. Is that what these two lines mean? Are you kidding me? This is the happiest freakin' day of my life!"

Ezreal has always been a fan of surprises, and this big news was no exception. Everywhere he went, no matter the conversation, he'd just casually state he was becoming a father. Didn't matter the person or group setting. Family. Friends. The neighbor; his neighbor next to him. The young teen delivering packages to his door. The grandmother and her toy-poodle waiting in line at the convenience store. If anyone was around him, he was boasting about you and the now expected bundle of joy.

Ezreal tries his bestest to help you around the house. He's never been great at chores, but he's a happy little helper eager to listen and please. You tell him exactly what you need from him, and he'll do it with a smile on his face. Anything that keeps your stress levels low, he wants to be the one you rely on to ease your burden.

Ezreal can't lie and say he understands everything about pregnancy and what you're going through. It all seems to go right over his head. The only thing he seems to get is your morning sickness, because he's literally feeling it too. Seeing you nauseous gets his own sympathetic response going. So while he's trying to comfort you, holding your hair as you hover over the toilet, he's also cradling the nearby trash bucket for himself. (How romantic!)

When your stomach grows, Ezreal can spend hours and hours talking to it. He never runs out of topics. Even mentioning the most mundane parts of his everyday life. These moments are when he feels he's bonding most with his child to be. He'll pretend to tell the baby secrets that you don't even know about, and whispers out loud with a wink, "but don't tell your mom about that one, 'kay?"

Ezreal is literally terrified to have sex with you. And not because he doesn't find your body attractive. But he actually believes he'll poke the baby's eye out, or pop you like a water balloon. And if that ever happened, the guilt would forever destroy him. It takes a visit to the obgyn and for a professional to explain that it's perfectly safe to have sex during your pregnancy. He's hesitant at first, but after the first go around, his confidence and sex drive picks right where it left off. (He regrets not going at it like rabbits sooner.)

When you're at your routine ultrasound appointment, Ezreal can't stop the tears parading down his face, even before he knows it's a boy. Hiccuping and siffling, one hand squeezes yours tight, while the other points at the imaging. "H...He...looks just...like me." It's endearing for him to think that. When the monitor only shows splotchy and fuzzy spots of the babies butt. The copied images to take home are his favorite photos taken. Ever.

░꒱♡‿ִ₊˚→ KAYN

When you break the news to Kayn, he doesn't hesitate to pull you in by the waist, pressing your hips together. Guiding a hand to the back of your neck, in a manner that was gentle and not comparable to how he fucked you senselessly. And with all the care in the world, he takes your lips.

"Damn. You're fertile as Hell. It only took us one time after you stopped your birth-control. Honestly, it's really fuckin' hot. How about we—you know—to celebrate?"

Counter to popular belief, Kayn brought up the idea to start a family first. When you asked him the reason, he first joked around a bit, telling you how hot and sexy it would be to 'impregnate you with his seed'. But, he put aside his usual impulsivities, and explained his desire to move on to the next part of his life. He was done with the partying and drugs. Over the one night stands and dating random no-nobodies. And just wanted to have a more meaningful, family oriented life—with you.

To show he's committed to the whole idea, he takes days off from his idol schedule to go to every prenatal check-up appointment. He plucks and stuffs every pamphlet into his pockets he can find around the waiting lobby. He asks tons of questions to the obgyn, and stuffs more educational brochures in his pockets. You have to scold him when he tries to snag a small uterus replica from the exam room. Kayn defends himself, wanting it for "educational" purposes. (Rhaast just wanted it as a neat souvenir.) He settles when a medical assistant gives him a sperm shaped pen.

Kayn is another one that isn't great with house chores. (But he'll gloat and say he's mastered cleaning the dishes, at the very least.) He's generally better at being sent for errands outside the home. If you need an extra ingredient to make dinner, he'll hop on his motorcycle and get it in record time. And if you're not feeling up for cooking, he'll order pick-up from your favorite place in town. You need to send a package at the post office? He'll wait hours in line on the busiest day of the week. Whatever he can do for you, he makes sure it gets done. So you never have to worry about something once you pass the responsibility to him. Showing you he's a more than capable partner and future father.

When your baby bump starts to show, Kayn's favorite thing to do is touch it. Applying the softest pressure as he runs his hands and finger across your rounding stomach. He's always enamored whenever he feels the baby move; another reminder of how amazing you are. And he never forgets to vocalize it. "You're so goddamn beautiful, you know that?" he'll say like you've cursed him. Cradling your face and taking your mouth.

You never have to tell this man more than once to touch or have sex with you. It's part of his daily routine a this point. And definitely one of his favorite ways to bond with you. But now that you're pregnant, it's as if the sex between you two has shifted into another plane of pleasurable existence. Never getting enough of it, even moments after finishing. But on the days you're not up for it, he respects it. And doesn't mind defaulting to cuddling, before dozing off to sleep with you in his arms. (But he eagerly counts down the time for when you're in the mood again.)

Kayn tries not to show to much of his softer-side; he rather be the one to have his shoulder wet than yours. But at your ultrasound appointment, once it's confirmed you're having a girl, his whole punk 'fuck only the hot police' persona collapses. You notice him clear his throat, and quickly swipe a knuckle at the corner of his eyes. He masks this dent of composure by huffing a laugh, "Guess I'm, uh...going to be kicking the crap out of a lot of asses later."

#league of legends #heartsteel #heartsteel headcanons #heartsteel x reader #kayn x reader #ezreal x reader #aphelios x reader #request #reqs open

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fushipurro · 5 months

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Lessons in Love

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☆ Synopsis: A sudden book tour event forces you and toji to have some time apart. Complicated feelings arise and more troubles stir that shake the foundations of your relationship.

☆ Content: 18+ MDNI, f!reader, mma!toji, jjk au, pet names, roommate!satoru, roommate!suguru, foreplay (vaginal, nipple), creampie, biting/sucking/scratching, age gap (10 years), mentions of violence and blood, jealousy/angst, toji fluff, nanami fluff, masturbation, phone sex

☆ Word Count: 6k

"say that again, doll?"

"i said~, my publisher wants me to go on a book tour to celebrate my upcoming release."

"i heard that part," he reached around your waist, pulling you tightly against his bare body, "but what i didn't hear was how long you'd be away from me for."

"it's only for two weeks, toji," you laughed, "i'll be back by christmas and then we can spend the whole day together, okay?"

the man buried his face in your hair, hands refusing to let go of your body. a part of him afraid that if he let you go, you'd shatter again and he'd never get you back.

"besides, i'll still be able to call so you better answer," your hand moved over his, sinking deeper against him. "this is really important to me."

"i know, sweetheart," his husky voice vibrated off your neck, "i know you'll do so well." he smirked, leaving soft kisses against your skin.

the day of your flight came all but slowly, cursing yourself for agreeing to an early flight, but still had all your bags packed and ready to go. toji refused to let you go off in a taxi, insisting that he'll drive you to the airport himself.

it drove him crazy giving you space the night before, but you both knew if you slept together beforehand, you'd be doing anything but sleeping. either way, toji didn't get an ounce of sleep as evident by the deep circles below his eyes.

he snatched your luggage from you at the entrance to your apartment, "you seriously need all this?"

"hey you should know by now that it takes a lot to make a good appearance, i have to look my best!"

"you always do thou─"

"y/n~!"

you turned before immediately getting tackled into a hug by satoru, suguru standing behind. toji scowled, resisting the urge to scruff him off of you like he was a cat.

"you better call and send tons of photos, we're gonna miss our favorite roommate."

"i'll miss you too, 'toru," you smiled, "you too, sugu. i'll call you guys at the hotel."

suguru took the initiative to pull his man off you so you wouldn't miss your flight.

"you ready yet?" toji asked, with an annoyed puff. he softened his expression when you looked back up at him.

you wished the drive to the airport would last longer. being away from toji now wasn't going to be easy in any way, especially with how much better your relationship has been in recent times. time apart is a good thing though, right? absence makes the heart grow fonder, blah blah blah...

once on the road, toji's hand rested on your thigh keeping a comfortable grip.

"what are you going to do while i'm gone?"

"the only thing i'm good at, fighting," he scoffed.

"oh please, toji, you're plenty good with more than that."

his face lit up with an almost predatory gaze and his grip tightened, thumbing rubbing circles on your thigh, "oh yeah? like what?"

you laughed, "the light's green, honey."

"and yet, all i see is red, sugar," he smirked.

as expected, when you made it to the airport, he refused again to let you carry anything but your own purse. staying right at your side with his eyes on you.

a blond man came into sight and a smile crossed your face.

"hope i didn't keep you waiting for long, mr nanami!"

"miss fushiguro," the man greeted, giving a quick adjustment to his tie, "and who is this you brought?"

"oh right, toji, this is my publisher, mr nanami." you stood between the two men, oblivious to the scowl toji was making.

toji stood close, fixing his posture like it was some competition. his eyes coldly set on the man before him. right now he's just feeling extra possessive even when really there's no need.

that doesn't stop his large hand grabbing hold of your waist to pull you against him, "i'm toji. y/n's boyfriend."

"a pleasure, toji," kento remained calm, glancing at his watch and back to you, "now that you're here, we should go check in for our flight."

your expression turned sullen, eyes turning to toji with an attempt to smile. he leaned down in front of your face, mere inches from your lips.

"what's wrong, princess? you missin' me already?"

your hands reached behind his neck and pulled him closer, eyes glossing over but still trying to be happy, "i am".

"well don't think you're leaving without this," he pressed his lips against yours for a few moments and when the kiss was done, you planted your forehead against his while cupping his cheeks.

"you just be a good girl and come back to me soon, okay?"

"i will, i promise," you nodded, wiping your tears and waving goodbye to toji, walking off with kento.

toji wasn't the sappy type to sit there by the window waiting for your takeoff, but that didn't stop him from keeping his eyes to sky instead of the empty leather passenger seat beside him.

the moment the plane touched down at your destination, chaos quickly ensued.

kento kept a tight schedule and urged punctuality. your luggage was dropped off in a hotel room and you were whisked away for one of many meetings to occur in the next two weeks.

on toji's end, he trained at the gym until the the moon was high before hitting up a ramen stall on his way home. he wished so badly his phone would shine your pretty little face and as much as he debated just calling you himself, he figured you were probably be busy with work anyways.

the first night of your book tour went better than you hoped. the venue was full of various people begging for signatures and photos with you, eager to know more details about your upcoming book.

kento kept everything running smoothly, trying to make sure you weren't overwhelmed by the crowd but also making sure it was a good first impression for the tour.

when you finally got back to your hotel, you wasted no time in crashing onto the bed and closing your eyes for a few minutes.

"would you like to shower first, miss fushiguro?" your publisher interrupted, setting his briefcase down on the desk in the room.

"oh no, that's fine. i'll probably take longer so do what you need to do."

i also want to see how he's doing.

right. the one thing you meant to do and said you would when you got here before running off to your own world.

pulling your phone out, the first dozen notifications were all from satoru asking if you were still alive along with photos of him and suguru together.

nothing from toji, which was a bit saddening, but not atypical of him.

y/n fushiguro sorry, it's been a long day. you up? sent: 12:16am

you put your phone down not expecting much given the time, when to your surprise it began to ring.

"i'm surprised you're still awake."

"don't you sound tired, sweetheart."

"that's what shaking hands and talking to several dozen people will do to you," you laughed, your voice slightly hoarse. "i miss you, toji."

the man was silent for a moment, "i miss you too."

for the next several minutes, you chatted away, telling toji all about the people you saw, the things they said or asked. he was more than happy just to listen you talk. oh how he missed the sound of your voice in his ears.

the door clicked behind you, followed by kento's smooth voice filling the room, "it's all yours, miss fushiguro."

"hah?" toji growled, "you ain't alone?"

you nodded to kento and placed your attention back to your phone, "no i'm with mr nanami. it's just us representing for the tour so it was easier to cover costs with one hotel room."

"that so? well for his sake i hope he keeps his hands to himself."

"toji!" you scolded, your groggy voice turned to a whisper, "there's nothing to worry about. look who's being a little jealous now," you teased.

toji scoffed, rolling over on his side looking down at the empty spot you always lay on when you're with him in bed. those words hit his head abruptly like spotting yourself in a mirror. jealous?

jealousy was something toji wasn't, or rather, couldn't be familiar with. growing up as a black sheep in his family, mistreated while everyone else was loved and accepted.

he never was told what he did wrong besides the fact that he was born and there was nothing he could do to right it. forced to bear with that "sin" and continue honoring his family name.

maybe a piece of him was always jealous but toji was not allowed to express these types of feelings, he couldn't express "weakness" in any form and had to become the strongest.

it was only when he finally cut himself away from that life that he was able to create a false reality for himself. he used the zenin name in the underground arena as a means to besmirch what should have been the family that loved him. he created this whole persona of someone capable, someone everyone either feared or desired.

he doesn't need to be jealous anymore as he is now. he's been forced to rely on only himself and has become so sure of himself that being envious shouldn't cross his mind but yet in this situation, it does.

you came along and started chipping away at the walls he built around himself but yet you still you want him more. you look at him like you would anyone else, a human, and not some walking calamity that shouldn't ever have been born.

your willingness to love and accept toji for who he his despite knowing so little about his past or the hell he's walked through time and time again, he treasures that.

maybe that's why he felt the way he did. jealous. despite what he went through and how he believes he doesn't truly deserve you, none of that could possibly stop his heart from beating the way it does in your presence.

he wants to be selfish and keep you for himself. he wants to protect you even if you don't need it. most of all, he's enjoying how it feels to be loved wholeheartedly.

"toji? tooojjjiii."

the man snapped back into reality, "yeah?"

"i thought you fell asleep on me, you okay?"

"i'm fine," he hummed in response, "you on the other hand should be asleep already. can't look your best for the fans if you show up with bags under your eyes."

hearing you laugh and in an especially tired sort of way calmed him in ways he couldn't express.

"you're right, i should go shower already, but i'll call you again as soon as i can, okay? i love you, toji."

"i love ya too, princess."

it had been about a week since that phone call with toji, with many sleepless nights in between as you shuffle from hotel to hotel along your tour.

during which time, your publisher was contacted about having a news crew interview you which he noted would be good for publicity.

much to your dismay, said interview was taking place the same night as an important fight for toji that you set aside time for previously to watch.

"don't worry, we'll make sure to record it for you!" satoru had said in your last phone call with each other.

"thanks, but it's not the same as getting to watch him live..."

"i don't think toji will mind either way, you have a job to do too, so do your best. i'll make sure your interview gets recorded too."

"i appreciate that, sugu. god i can't wait to be back home."

"aww you miss us that badly? we love you too, roomie~!"

"miss fushiguro, i urge you to focus on getting ready. we need to be there early so the news crew can brief you on what to expect."

"i know i know, but his match is coming up, i don't want to miss this."

you lifted the laptop up, moving to a vanity to prepare your makeup and hair.

"our next fight for the night is toji zenin facing off against..."

your eyes dart back to the screen, "finally!"

a smile stretched across your face when the man walked onto the stage. his opponent wasn't near the size of toji, but plenty built nonetheless as you'd expect.

the first round went by, toji winning it albeit not as fast as he usually ends things. his punches weren't as impactful as you've seen him land before and you could tell it was getting on his nerves.

shiu was at the edge of the arena giving him pep talks and all the while toji continued to scowl.

round two was just beginning when kento interrupted, "miss fushiguro, it's time to leave."

"do we have to? toji's fight is finally here..."

"we'll be late if we don't leave now, miss fushiguro. i understand this is important to you but you can't forget your own priorities."

"i know i know," the smile faded from your face, standing up from the vanity and giving one last look to the fighter before closing the screen.

on toji's end, the fight was reaching its halfway mark, the opponent giving the troubled man a bit more of an issue than he normally would allow.

the combination of sleep exhaustion and intrusive thoughts doesn't bode well for anyone, especially not someone with a history like toji. his movements were more sloppy, he let his foe hit him more than he should have.

the round ended in favor of the opposing side, toji retreating to his corner in anger.

"toji, what's wrong with you, man? you'd never let someone walk all over you like this any other day," shiu commented, handing the fighter a towel.

"shut the hell up," he hissed, yanking it from the man.

"don't take it out on me, i'm not the one in the arena."

toji grunted, rolling his shoulders a few times before getting up. his eyes wandered to the crowd, longing to see you sitting there at the edge of your seat cheering him on.

by the third and final round, he was done playing around. the timer started and he hurled himself at his opponent. shiu needing to yell from time to time to remind toji of where he is and rightfully so.

if this fight was taking place in the underground arena, his opponent would've been turned into a ragdoll by now, a sandbag for toji to express his frustrations. but above ground? that's asking for some severe consequences.

the crowd was a mix of silence, gasping, and finally cheers at toji's comeback. his opponent quickly folding under his sheer strength as toji's secured victory.

he gave hardly any looks to the fans on his way out, eyes cold and distant marching to his dressing room while his bloody knuckles dripped on the floor.

once inside, he sunk into the couch and grabbed his phone from the coffee table in front of him.

y/n fushiguro good luck with your fight!! i'm sure though you won't need it <3 you won't believe it though, i'm going to be on the news tonight! it's really last minute but i'm so excited. it starts at about 6:40 later! sent: 2:47pm

toji glanced at the time on his phone, 6:55pm. thankfully the room had a small TV on the wall, so he flipped channels praying he didn't miss your appearance.

"so y/n, did you plan for your characters to get into a relationship from the start?" the reporter asked.

the sight of you and the sound of your voice felt like the first drop of water after a week in the desert.

"i honestly did not! i had planned for them to be enemies always getting in the way of each other's bounties, but then my publisher came up with the idea of turning it into a romance and well, you see how that ended up."

the reporter laughed, "i think i speak for others but the way you wrote their relationship and especially the love they share, it's unique and quite real. was there someone who inspired or played into the experiences you write? maybe someone in your own life who plays the part of the love interest?"

that was the turning point in the interview. anyone with a sense could see the way your face softened and how your smile stopped being one for the people watching TV but instead one true expression of love meant for one person only.

toji watched you brush a few stray hairs behind your ears as you normally do when nervous or flushed, the corner of his own lips raising upwards subconciously.

"w-well it wasn't immediately i had someone in mind when i was writing the first book, but that changed once i met my boyfriend."

"is he here tonight? we'd love to see him up on stage!"

"i wish he was, but he had an important match today for his career," your eyes turned to the camera directly, waving your arm, "if you're watching this, i love you, toji!"

the remote fell out of toji's hand onto the floor, his face awestruck, "fuck─ you're so beautiful."

"i think that'll do it for this interview, thank you so much for speaking with us, y/n! we're looking forward to reading your new book when it drops."

"god that was exhausting but really exciting!"

"you did good today, miss fushiguro," kento smiled, "keep up the hard work."

"thanks, mr nanami, but i couldn't have done all of this without you."

"think nothing of it, it's my job to help your books succeed."

you placed your things down on a spare desk in the hotel room, walking over to your bed to sit down.

"i need to step out to make a few phone calls and then i'll be back, do you need anything?"

"i'm alright, thanks, mr nanami."

the blond men stepped out of the room, leaving you alone.

now then...

y/n fushiguro i miss you, do you maybe want to video chat? sent: 9:06pm

"you calling up your fans now that you're famous?"

"hi toji," you smiled.

"i missed that pretty face of yours smiling for me."

you laughed, "did you get to see me on the news? now we've both been on TV."

"you think i'd miss the chance to see that?" he teased, leaning his head back against his pillow.

"so how'd your fight end up?"

"what, you weren't watching?" he asked with a sarcastic tone.

"i was trying to, but i didn't get to see it all... only got to watch the first round before i had to leave."

"cheer up, princess. you know i'm only teasin' ya," he coos, "it wasn't a good fight anyways."

his sweet words and husky tone started making you feel warm, your hand beginning to move in its own down your side.

"you still won though, right? i wish i could've seen it."

he smirked, "of course i did, would've been more of a show if i had you on the sidelines cheering."

your fingers crept under the hem of your panties, running down your already moist folds.

"i wish i could've been there, mhm, or at least have you here on tour with me."

one of the man's eyebrows raised up, "oh yeah? i don't think you'd have enough time or energy to be signing books if i were there."

as he spoke, you slipped your fingers up inside you, curling inwards as you dug as deep as you could. your breathing hitched with each action, desperate to find that sweet spot.

toji knew exactly what you were doing, even if you didn't make it obvious, he's had enough time with your body to know the subtle signs you make.

his own hand unfastened his now hardened cock from his boxers, swirling the precum around the tip as he glazed his calloused hands down the shaft.

"my voice making you nice and wet, sweetheart? aren't you needy."

you nodded your head, "i miss you, fuck."

"why don't you show me how much you miss me then," he purred, a devious grin crossing his face.

you propped your phone up against the pillow on the bed and kneeled in front of it. lifting up your skirt over your waist with one hand while the other loosened your breasts from your shirt.

"that's it, sweetheart," his cock beginning to twitch in his hands, "keep going."

one hand was now toying with the bud on your chest. your other glistening with juices for the camera, gently moaning as you watched him with open eyes.

"good girl, do you wanna cum for me? i know you're getting close."

your body started to squirm, eyes fluttering, "ple─please, fuck."

"go on then," his deep voice made your body shiver in heat, "let me hear that pretty voice of yours cum."

"nnghhh─ fuck, t-toji!" you whimpered, finally hitting the right spot. your other hand latched onto the sheets around you, desperate for something anchor against as you arched your back.

"fuck─" he threw his head back, ropes of seed shooting across his abs, "look at how fast you made me cum, pretty girl. if only i could taste you right now."

you heard the click of a keycard at your hotel door and quickly fixed your outfit.

toji clicked his tongue, loosening the grip he had on himself, "tch, fucking cockblocker."

"ah, you're still awake, miss fushiguro," his eyes glanced over to toji's annoyed face on your screen, "i got off the phone with someone from the office and they warned that our flight may be delayed getting home."

any semblance of joy you had immediately sank, "what!? why?"

"there's a blizzard coming and it's expected to halt the airlines until it's safe again to fly."

"when could that be?"

"they're not sure as of right now, hard to know until we see how much it piles up."

"fuckin' hell," toji growled under his breath.

"are we going to cancel the rest of the tour then to leave early?"

kento unfastened his tie, "i understand your desire, but we can't get back the money already spent for our remaining time here. i'm sorry, miss fushiguro."

you turned to toji while sulking, "i'm sorry, toji. guess i won't be back for christmas after all..."

"don't you start crying now, princess. i'll still see you soon, okay?"

with glossy eyes, you nodded with a sniffle, "i really wanted to spend our first christmas together..."

"last i checked, we're still together unless you suddenly called it quits without me," he said in a teasing tone with his usual smirk, earning a laugh from you.

"i'll call you later then, even if it means spending christmas through our phone screens."

"good girl, now you should go and get cleaned off then," he winked.

a flood of heat hit your face making you reach your hand up to your nape, god i hope kento didn't notice anything...

as predicted, the inclement weather delayed all flights in the area. your tour technically ended a few days ago, but you've been stuck in town with kento.

christmas eve arrived and your mood was worse than ever. happy couples everywhere and you just felt so alone.

kento had told you earlier in the day that he had made reservations at a nearby restaurant to help make the most of it, so here you were trudging through the falling snow through town passing by couple after couple.

"let's see, it should be around here... ah─ there it is."

the nice restaurant came into view, as did a familiar shape leaning against the side of some brick.

"huh?" you stopped dead in your tracks, losing your grip on your purse as it dropped onto the snow. "toji?"

the man turned to you, revealing his face completely to you, "y/n," he smiled.

you couldn't hold back from lunging at the man, arms wide as you collided into an embrace. his thick arms wrapping around your body pulling you tightly against him.

tears filled your eyes, "i'm so happy, what are you doing here?"

toji caressed his hand against the back of your head, lips right up against your ear, "i said i'd see ya soon, didn't i?"

"i missed you so much," you sobbed, gripping him with all the strength you have, "i missed you, toji."

he kissed the crown of your head, "i did too, sweetheart"

you pulled back and looked up at him for a moment before planting your lips against his.

toji's eyes widened at the sudden bout of confidence, allowing his tongue to melt against your own.

he held a firm grip on your lower back, keeping you flush against his body with no room to breathe.

the man wanted nothing more than to stay like that forever, one with the one he loved more than anything. he allowed you to be in control, letting you kiss him for however long you wanted to in that moment.

when you did finally pull away, you cupped his cheeks in your hands, "so what are you doing here? i thought all the flights were cancelled?"

"you can thank your boss for that," he smiled, "i wanted to see you, and he helped make it happen. even had me surprise you like this out here instead of busting your door down."

"still feeling jealous?" you teased.

toji used his thumb to wipe the tears from your eyes, "don't need to be. you're mine after all, aren't you?"

"always," you chuckled, leaning back in to hug him once more.

"that's my good girl," he purred, "now let's go get some food, i'm starving."

taking your hand, he led the way inside the restaurant, cringing at kento's selection of one of higher standards but it was paid in advanced so he couldn't really complain.

instead of sitting across from each other, you both chose to sit side by side. you were nestled under his arm with your legs glued to his, gleefully sharing all the fun moments you had on tour.

afterwards, he walked you back to your hotel room, wasting no time in pulling you in the second you walked inside, kicking the door shut behind him.

he held you from behind, leaning into the crook of your neck and delivering a flurry of kisses. toji held your torso tightly against his body, one hand cupping your breast.

"turn around," he ordered, your body responding in turn as he embraced your mouth once more, lips parting to welcome his tongue.

calloused hands rubbed down your back and under your thighs, pulling you up against his body. underneath his pants, his cock stirred, throbbing against your clothed heat.

he walked forward with you in his arms, kneading his fingers in the fat of your ass, sitting himself down at the foot of the bed with you on his lap.

your hips rocked against his waist, "you wanna ride me? show me how much you missed my dick?"

you nodded your head, your mind going dizzy from the pleasure, "so drunk on my cock and i haven't put anything in you yet, baby. let me change that for you."

toji's fingers moved between your thighs from the front, pushing the fabric aside and toying with the entrance to your depths, "gotta get you ready for me."

"ngh~, toji," you broke from the kiss, panting as you bit down on your lip. your nails dug into the nape of his neck as you lifted your chest up into his face.

"want me to play with your tits too, sweetheart? i don't remember you ever being this demanding," he used his teeth to unlatch your shirt and bra, "i want to mark these pretty things all up."

"y-yes please, i need you," you squirmed at his touch, two of his thick digits sliding in between your folds inside of you.

"such a needy cunt," he teased, his mouth becoming more demanding of your chest, "y'er swallowing my fingers right up."

it was as though a vampire had their first taste of blood, he was practically biting at your tits and swirling his tongue over your hardened buds.

"fuck─ toji," you bucked your hips, clenching against his fingers.

"you're close now, aren't you, princess?" he quickly removed his fingers, holding them up to your face.

"toji!" the high that was coming faded before you could reach it, "that was mean," you pouted.

his eyes darkened slightly, "we have plenty of time to enjoy one another tonight, y/n. now open up for me."

you parted your lips for his fingers, brushing your tongue along the calloused digits, tasting the juices that coated them.

"good girl," he coos.

lifting your hands of his shoulders, you grabbed onto his wrist, eyes going absent with lust as you continued to suck, "you're so fucking gorgeous, you know that, right?"

in a second, toji flipped you over with your back against the sheets. one of his knees pressed in between your thighs, arms at either side of you as he kissed from your lips all down your body until he reached your core

he gave a deviant look before spelling sweet nothings with his tongue against your swollen pearl, his fingers reaching back up inside you.

"fuck─ toji, right there!" you squeezed your thighs around his head.

he kissed your clit and pulled away slightly, "better keep your legs relaxed unless you want me to stop."

"n-no no, i'm sorry, don't stop, please!"

"yeah?" his fingers scissored your insides, swiping his tongue up repeatedly, "ya taste so fuckin' good, i can't stop myself."

you buried your hands in the side of his head, grabbing chunks of his long raven hair while he lapped at your core. his digits pumping deeper than you can get with your own.

"i can't hold it, fuck, m' gonna cu-ahh!"

he slowly pulled his fingers out of you while you came down the high, earning a few whimpers from you as you felt empty without him.

"i think you're ready now, want me inside you?"

you couldn't hear his words as you were lost in your own world, but you felt the heat emanating off his thick member when it rested against your folds.

toji leaned up over your face, "you still with me, doll?" his hand caressed your cheek, a few light taps to get your attention back.

"hang in there, princess, you're doing so well."

your eyes wandered down to toji's bottom half. he lifted up your legs over his shoulders and lined his cock up, pressing the tip in slightly.

"i need it, toji," you begged, music to his ears as he smiled ear to ear.

he started slow, enjoying as your back arched immediately at the pressure and your fingers desperate to claw into anything you could reach.

"fuck, you're so tight," his pace quickened, "your cunt forget who it's made for?"

"never, nghh fuck─" you felt his cock kiss your womb, welcoming him as deep as he could get.

"shit, you came with just that?" he pushed through your orgasm, lifting your body up in his hands to better align himself.

toji himself started to lose himself in you, sweat dripping from his locks onto your stomach. his thumb running circles over your clit overstimulating yourself beyond what you could handle.

"toji fuck─ s'good i'm gonna-aaah" his cock quivered against your velvet walls, warmth filling your insides. the man squeezed as tight as he could against your body, his grip sure to leave bruises on your waist later.

"that's my good girl, fuck y'er taking my cock so well," he grunted.

your heart was hammering, barely able to catch your breath before toji started up his thrusts again.

you tried to wrap your legs around his waist, but your strength was faltering. your body trembled and all you could do was scream his name.

"fuck, toji!"

"shit─ baby, what's wrong?" he asked, slowing his pace. the tears filling leaving your eyes more than just ones caused from the ecstasy he was giving you.

"i love you s'much, toji, god fuck─ i'm so happy," you tried to wipe your face but could barely move your own limbs.

the man dropped down over you, your greedy walls clenching his cock. his lips kissed each tear on your face before meeting your lips.

"i love you too, y/n," he cooed, "don't know what i'd do without my perfect girl."

he continued to give you sloppy kisses, biting on your lips until the metallic taste filled his own. your nails got their own taste after tearing his back apart with each thrust against your cervix from the man.

"cum with me, baby, okay? i'm gonna fill you right up, not gonna waste a single drop."

"please, toji, i need you!" you moaned, an orgasm erupting from the two of you.

your mouths parted from each other for those few moments, but in an act of overstimulation you couldn't resist biting down on the flesh of his neck that was within reach.

"fuck, such a pretty mouth," he groaned, "i love my little vampire."

"of course an incubus like you would love it," you smiled, desperately catching your breath.

"is that what i am now?" he smirked, "you dream of me fucking you too?"

"who can say?" you giggled, "even if i do, it doesn't beat the real thing i have right here and in me."

you smiled up at him, and even with your hair in such a messy state and your body covered in sweat and mixed juices, to toji, that was the prettiest he's ever seen you.

his expression softened, the phantom pain from his scar evaporating from the sunlight you casted upon him. toji has never felt more warm and loved than before this very moment.

"i'll go warm up a bath then for us," he pulled himself out of you, pushing his cum back inside with his finger and licking the excess of your combined love off himself.

"w-wait, toji!" you tried to lean up but ultimately fell back against the bed.

toji understood completely, turning back to you and lifting you up into a bridal carry.

"did ya forget already? you know you can never walk when i'm done with you," he teased.

"good thing i have you to carry me around then," you laughed, nestling against his chest.

once the bath was the perfect temperature, the two of you sat down inside together. your back planted against his chest with your head falling back into his neck.

one of toji's hands laid dangerously close to your inner thighs while the other rested on the side of the tub.

"i'm surprised mr nanami hasn't come back yet, it's pretty late."

"and have him ruin the fun again?" you lightly hit the arm in a teasing manner, "nah, he helped me get here so i paid for another room so i could keep you all to myself."

"well that was nice of you, toji, i appreciate that. i feel a bit bad sending him away but i'm so happy you're here with me."

"you have a good boss. smart too since he probably knows you're going to throw some of this in your book anyways." toji leaned his head down and kissed your temple, "can't get enough of me that you went and made me the main character in your story? how sweet of you."

heat rushed to your face, "i can't help that you're a perfect fit for it... i couldn't have done all of this anyways without your help."

before you knew it, toji's fingers already slid down to your exposed heat, clutching it until you quivered.

"the writing is all you, doll, you did this. be proud of yourself, you deserve it." he put his lips right against your ears, holding some of the flesh between his teeth, "i only showed you how to love."

you moaned softly, gripping his thighs for support.

"hey toji?" the man hummed in response, kissing your neck up and down, "merry christmas."

the arm he had resting on the side of the tub wrapped around the front of you, pulling your face flushed against his, "merry christmas, y/n."

☆ Notes: sorry for the delay getting this part out, i had some inspo for other stories as you all can see and wasn't sure what i wanted to do with part 3 just yet but i've got some ideas rolling again. i really want to do some stuff with nanami in the future but god i'm so hyperfixated on toji...

☆ Taglist: @lynnsemptymind

#jjk #toji fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen #jjk toji #jjk au #toji x female reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji zenin #toji x reader #toji x you #mma!toji #nanami kento #toji smut #toji fluff

291 notes · View notes

futureplayboibunnie · 10 months

Text

Spiderman Kiss

Miguel O’Hara x fem! Black Cat! reader

part 2 (18+)

it took me so damn long to write this but here we are. a few of y’all wanted a part two with some steamy times so i shall provide (this shit is so long i’m sorryyyy) this man makes it so easy to write angsty smut i swear.

warnings: dirtytalk, pnv, angsty fluffy yet flirtatious idek anymore, finger sucking. jusy filth all together (may god forgive my soul)

You left Miguel. You left him shattered. You left him wanting more. The kiss was still lingering on his lips.

The rain dripped through his hair, the clouds rumbling above him and darkening with every second that passed after you left him. Miguel thought he looked like an idiot dangling upside down watching an empty space that once carried your perfect frame. He was afraid your scent would fade with his memory, he couldn't move- he was stiff with need, sadness, and angst. He was scattered and he was sure the furrow of his brows expressed that tenfold.

Miguel didn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to do with you.

So many questions melded into his head- he wasn't sure if he wanted to follow his brain or his dick. But his gut was telling him to not let you leave right now. There was nothing he could do though. Miguel had to tamper his own desires down, he had to put his other spiders first. He had to put the damn multiverse first. God, he gave up too much to quit now but a part of him wanted to relieve that pressure...he wanted to relieve that pressure with you.

Miguel groaned as he dragged himself out of his head and walked up the side of the building he was on, swinging from building to building taking in the dark horizon as if to reflect his mood, the rain becoming heavier on his back, beating at his mind like a punching bag. Miguel used this time swinging to contemplate what he wanted, it was simple: he wanted you...but he had other responsibilities. The thunder and lightning rocked above him, souring his mood. All he could think about was how stupid he was, falling for someone he couldn't have, someone he shouldn't want. That bleeding heart of his was going to get him killed.

You arrived at your apartment before the rain got too heavy and you couldn't conceal the side smile that was painted all over your face- like you were laughing at an inside joke only you knew. Your kiss with Miguel was still tingling on top of your lips and a blush stained your face ever since. It really went against everything you stood for - wanting the good guy. Well, he wasn't known for being that good...but far too much of a goody-two-shoes for you.

Your apartment was gloomy, a blue hue seeped through the windows as you sighed into the cold empty space. You knew if Miguel was here he would obliterate anything in his path, you swallowed hard at the thought. That dull ache crawled back into your lower stomach and the hairs on your neck stood to attention just thinking about him. Jesus. You threw your umbrella into a dark corner before unbuttoning your trenchcoat and throwing it on the back of the couch. Your boots clacked against the hardwood floor as you went to the kitchen to fix yourself a stiff drink- you needed it tonight so you would forget fucking yourself lazily with only Miguel on your mind, you were hoping it would soften the blow of how pathetic you had become over one kiss with a man you were sure would choose the multiverse over you.

Miguel was at your apartment, hanging outside of your window to see if you were there and you just disappeared to the kitchen. He shimmied your window open quietly and crawled inside, slightly surprised that he fit. He stood up and the first thing his eyes caught onto was the mass amount of stolen paintings you were probably pawning off. Oh, bad girl. Very bad indeed. His eyes were fixed on the doorframe, waiting for you to emerge.

You ruffled your hair, walking out to sprawl on your couch and drink the kiss away even though it was already seared to the forefront of your mind. Looking up, your pulse skyrocketed and a gasp fell sharply from your throat. You dropped your damn drink on your floor. Miguel was happy with the response it was apparent with the smirk that painted his face.

‘’What the fuck?’’ You breathed, clutching at your heart to calm your raising chest. It wasn't working. You weren't sure if it was the fact that he scared you half to death or it was that he was here right now when you were about to strip naked and moan all the feelings away. ‘’Why do all Spider-people hate using fucking doors?’’ You questioned brashly as your foot swiped away at the broken shards of glass that adorned your floor, you'll deal with it later. He was your main focus now. It was like you manifested him.

‘’I didn't scare you, did I?’’He boasted and it made you want to kick his stupidly perfect teeth in, rip out his fangs, put them in a frame, and hang it on your wall. He had this smug look on his face and it was like he was reveling in your reaction.

"You didn't.’’ You lamented hard-eyed scowl and all. You stalked up to him like a smiling assassin looking as hungry as ever, a plan obviously forming in your head but he couldn't see through it. Inches were separating you and he had to tamper down the urge to just grab you. 'I wasn't expecting you back so soon.’’ You exhorted, lithe tongue wetting your lips- reaching for the inside joke. Miguel didn't respond, he was too fucking enthralled by your sheer presence to say anything meaningful. Suddenly, your palm went to his chest and pushed down aggressively hard. ‘’Sit.’’ You ordered endearingly, a sugar coating to the venom you were hiding as your eyes went doe. His eyes daren't waver from yours, they were wide and needy...something you never would've associated with Miguel O'Hara. You sat him down on your couch. ‘’I'll be right back.’’

A plan resided within you, you were going to do what you've always seemed to do with him: toy with him, play with him like you would with a cat and laser pen. It was one of the only constants you had with him. You sauntered and disappeared your way to the kitchen and a wicked idea started to form in your head- the more you thought about it, the more insane it was. But you didn't care. Every second you spent with him was just another semblance of your rationality withering away. You wondered if he affected all women like this- on the brink of insanity. The idea of him with another woman made you wince slightly. Instinctively, you kicked off your boots and shimmied out of your dress, also discarding the underwear and bra that covered you. Smiling to yourself, you grabbed another glass and poured out some whiskey for him like a doting housewife.

Miguel's fingers dug into his thighs, his patience wearing thin as the uncertainty and hunger weren't reaching a healthy equilibrium. He didn't like to be kept waiting. He resented it, his tapping foot and hard face were a clear reflection of that. He raked an exasperated hand through his hair and then he heard soft footsteps behind him. Finally. A flash of skin pierced his peripheral...and his mouth popped open, gaping a hole into your face as he drank you in like a thirsting animal. You were naked in front of him, wearing nothing but an innocent smile for a scene so obscenely filthy. You extended your hand to offer him the drink, acting so obviously coy.

‘’Thirsty?’’

Miguel's eyes were glued to yours, his mind was bugged with white noise and static as you stood there so innocently. Oh, you filthy bitch. You fucking liar. It was like time was frozen as he grabbed the glass from your hand. Miguel suddenly stood up, one massive hand grabbed your waist making you stumble back a few steps and the other crushed the glass with the might of his palm, he was surprised that you didn't even flinch but he was adamant about not showing it. You didn't deserve the privilege after toying with him like this: he was fiending for you. Miguel's grip on your waist was piercing and firm, lolling your head back to look into his eyes was a brutal mistake, they were aglow with rage and want that was slightly terrifying but also oddly thrilling at the same time, the sensation clawed at your throat and you were absorbing every second of it.

‘’Now what's all this?’’ He chuckled menacingly, it was like he was assessing you and the sly smile wired on his face was a large indicator of his greed. A clawed finger went to stroke your face. ‘’Hm?’’

‘’I got tired of waiting on you.’’ Surprising yourself with your own ability to breathe when he's touching you like this.

"I can see why that must be... frustrating...for you.’’ His gaze lowered and raked down your naked body, eating you with his eyes like he was a dog starved. “I can taste how wet you are.” Miguel mumbled as his wandering hands traced their way down your body, leaving a pattern of goosebumps in his wake until he reached your aching heat. '”You want me to make it better?” His fingers teased your entrance, waiting for verbal confirmation of how you wanted him to fuck you.

“I don't just want you...Miguel, I need you. I thought you'd know that by now.” You hoped your desperation would make him get the fucking hint. Now he was acting all patient and stretching it out, you just wanted him to play with you. Instead, he retracted his fingers. You shuddered as his warmth left you, the flames of desire were now roaring but all you could give him was a cold look at his callousness.

“Oh, you need me? Que maravilla... You're spoiling me.” He whispered in your ear then pulled back from you.

You gripped onto his suit and pulled him back into you, desperate eyes searching his. “Now give me what I want.” You sounded way more needy than he anticipated and he loved it. “Please.”

Miguel chuckled lowly, his large hand gripping your cheeks to make you pout and he mocked it like you were a whiny kid. “I've always wanted to fuck your face.”

You were too stiff to reply, his fingers dug into your skin and all you could do was moan.

“Would you let me?”

‘’Perhaps you fancy my pure heart, maybe I should feed it to you.’’

‘’Yeah, I'll do that later.’’ His promise was threateningly genuine and it made you gulp. Miguel suddenly grabbed you as if you weighed nothing and threw you over his shoulder, his apathetic palm smacking roughly against your backside as he dragged you to your bedroom, you yelped at his brashness. ‘’Stop squirming baby. Relax for me.’’

Miguel kicked your bedroom door open before you could even give in to his demands. He threw you on the bed, and without a second to lose you sat at the edge of it, you spread your legs wider for him. He grasped your chin so you were directly looking up into his scorching eyes- that look on your face was sinful. Miguel wasn't sure if was a religious man, not after everything that happened to him but if there was a time to believe in God it would be right now. You can't talk or think properly, it was the most ironic thing he's ever witnessed. You were always so...prepared, so intelligent, and challenging, it was interesting to see this side of you. He stood tall between your parted legs and the silence that boomed between you two was crackling through the air, Miguel's face was unamused as his fingers lightly traced your cheek- an odd form of tenderness in comparison to the filthy shit he said to you about 3 minutes ago. It was like it was the mercy before he was about to eat you whole.

‘’Fucking gorgeous.’’ Miguel muttered drunkenly, his darkening gaze surveying you intently as if you were under a microscope. He memorized every detail and frame of your desperate, whiny face. His thumb brushed the soft flesh of your bottom lip, all you could do was blink up at him dumbly. 'Come on...open up for me.' He urged when his fingers teased your lips, you opened your mouth and your tongue welcomed his large fingers, twisting and turning against the skin. A small shiver rippled through his body as you practically drooled over his fingers.

Mine. Was all he could think. Mine. All mine. No one else's. Miguel's heart skipped a little, a spark setting in his chest at the idea.

He was getting more and more impatient the longer you deepthroated his fingers, it was a little harrowing to see his deepest desires turn into a real-life experience. When he kissed you he thought that you wouldn't reciorocate or that you would kill him for even assuming such a preposterous thing, but no. You wanted him. The way he wanted you. If he were a smarter man he would bury the thought of you, he'd let another man want you up close, not from a distance like he does- but he just couldn't. He couldn't let you go and he resented it.

You just gave him a blank look when he retracted his fingers from your mouth, you wondered if his claws would come out when they were in the deep chasms of your throat, you were unsure if he was about to rip your vocal cords out. Miguel's palm instantly pinched at your cheeks again and he full force-bounced you back to lay flat on the bed. He loomed over you, his other hand sliding between your bodies to feel the softness of your skin, a small layer of sweat adding a little sparkle to your already glowing body. Why was he fucking dragging this along? Here you were, naked and wet, ready to be devoured and he insists on taking his sweet time. The multiverse becomes more and more unstable the longer he's with you. The unsettling thought made you frown and Miguel clocked onto it.

“What's with the frown?”

“Too slow, hurry up.” You moaned in his ear. His eyes darted to the contents of your room and he smirked.

“These paintings...they aren't yours, are they?” Miguel cooed at you. “It's cute that you think you're sneaky.”

“You're one to talk, following me around like an obsessed fan. It's cute.” You bit back at him, his teeth unclenched enough for a low moan to slip out. His mouth followed the trail of goosebumps down your neck, your body started to arch as his mouth captured your nipple, and your eyes widened as you felt his fangs dig into you.

“I want to fucking drain myself in you.” Miguel grunted and you quite literally felt the crunching of bones in his jaw. His nose trailed up your chest, inhaling your scent and committing it to memory.

“Take it off and fuck me or I'll find someone else who's-“ A gasp fell from your lips when he wrappled his fist around your hair and yanked it back. He thre your body around on the bed until your head plummeted to the soft pillows.

“I dare you to finish that sentence hermosa.”Miguel's fingers plunged into you, knuckle-deep feeling at you- so warm, so wet. You were dripping around his fingers. “Come on...finish it.” He moved his fingers in a circular motion, his thumb rubbed and pressed at your clit. A wave of jealousy washed over him at your words, the idea of someone else doing what he's doing to you made his eyes glow a dim red.

“'Miguel-“ He rubbed faster and harder.

“Someone else who's better than me? Someone who's...stronger than me? Someone who can...fuck you like this?’’He trusted his fingers harder into you and it made you cry out. ‘’Apologize.’’

“But I'm not sorry.”

In a flash, his hologram suit exposed his bare skin and your eyes widened at his cock slapping against your thigh. Your gaze wandered down and you couldn't conceal your gape, he was rock hard and the tip was sticky. “I'll make you sorry.”

“You're a bastard M-“ He cut you off with a sharp thrust into your warm wet pussy, Miguel was ambitious as always, glaring a hole into that pretty face to see just how well he was fucking you. Your fingers dug into the skin of his back and clawed, you drew an inkling of blood and he groaned at the sensation. The look on your face was priceless. Your moans bounced off of the walls, growing louder and louder with every thrust, he reached a spot within that you didn't know fucking existed. He thought your body was a work of fucking art, a thin sheen of sweat coated your skin, and every dip and curve was sculpted by Greek Gods. Miguel grabbed onto the headboard as his pace was getting more and more violent, his fist clenched white and his claws dug into the wood.

“You always this tight?” He questions breathlessly, Jesus Christ it was like you were vacuum sealed to his dick. You were sucking him dry. Your face scrunched up cutely as you whined at him, and your hands went to the sheets holding onto dear life. “No, don't clutch the sheets, grab onto me instead.” for once, you actually obeyed. You gripped onto his hair instead and tugged onto it. Miguel grabbed your legs and lifted them onto his broad shoulders, he sucked air into his teeth and his muscles tensed as you squeezed him even harder. “What, no smartass remark hermosa?”

“Oh my God.” You whimpered, and he kissed you passionately to muffle your pretty little sounds, absorbing them onto his tongue. His cock was fucking magic, he stretched you out so well it fucking hurt. The heated curl in your stomach was about to unfurl, the knots were twisting and turning with every brutal kiss and clash of teeth.

“Cum for me. You know you want to.” Miguel boasted like a proud high school jock. The slap of skin echoed around the whole room, he felt your stringy wetness cover him as a raw moan escaped from your lips. Your body arched against the bed as the waves of desire resounded throughout your entire body. You wanted to giggle, you had never come so hard before. It was kind of revolutionary. He fucked you through it, the kisses getting more desperate, passionate, and sloppy as if to mimic his pounding. “Tell me you want it.”

“I want it Miguel, please just - fuck.”with those sweet words, you could feel him spurt inside of you, the warm sticky liquid coating your insides. His body tensed with every stroke, completely emptying himself inside of you. Lord, you milked him dry and his groan was an indicator of that. You felt proud of yourself, Miguel O'Hara being breathless was something you never anticipated…well that was before he kissed you and everything went to pure chaos.

You lowered your legs from his shoulders and wrapped them around his waist, your lips meeting his tenderly. He liked it when you raked your slender fingers through his hair. He sighed before he pulled out of you, his gaze landed upon your pussy and the mess you both made. You chuckled at each other like a couple of teenagers, lightly blushing and doing the devil's tango. Miguel rolled next to you, both of you panting at what you had just experienced. He was so...good...at that.

The soft dim light lit up the room, the window outside casting a pale shadow of the New York skyline outside. You turned your head to Miguel, his angled features looking stoic as ever. It was obvious his mood changed but you didn't know why. Your cheek was buried in the pillow as you laid on your stomach, your hair tumbling down looking sexed out as always and he almost wanted to laugh, he definitely would've if the weight of the multiverse wasn't on his shoulders. Your hand flew to his and ruffled the disheveled tufts and he practically melted into your touch.

“You're a million miles away.” You repeated what you said earlier tonight before he kissed you. Miguel moved closer to you, leaning up on the divinely carved headboard as you lay there playing with his hair. He was agitated but a sliver of sadness warped through him and he didn't like it. His eyes latched onto yours, heady and scorching, his eyebrows twinging in sadness as he stared into your beautiful face- like it was the last time he'd be seeing it. He opened his mouth to speak but instead, he grabbed the hand that was in his hair and brought it to his lips, kissing your soft glowing flesh and tasting your sweet flushed skin.

“Mi amor.” 'He whispered, placing your palm on his face.

“Oh, that's new.” You smiled, and his eyes lingered on the curve of your ass. He had to suppress a shit-eating grin, his hand landed and stroked the skin of your thighs. “Am I still 'mi amor' even when I've been a bad girl?” You blinked up at him and then stared at all the stolen artwork and sculptures littering your room and adorning every wall, he just squinted your eyes in a judgemental manner at your question, he keep transitioning in and out of silence. It was obvious something was bothering him.

“What is it, Miguel?”

After a palpable silence, he finally opened his mouth, his gaze downcast as if he didn't want to look at you made you all the more confused. “It hurts me. How much I want you...I don't want to be tragically wounded and damaged by demons I can't escape... I just want to be with you.” He began unraveling what was eating at him, baring apart his battered soul and heavy mind, the expression your face made was one of...sorrow. “I don’t want to leave you alone. I can’t but I’m sure you’ve firgured that out by now.”

Miguel's confession echoed through your very soul and tolled at your brain, your heart on the other hand was thumping in your chest and beating at your fingertips. You didn't know what to do or say. You gripped his chin so he could face you, his hold on your thighs becoming stronger.

“You're fighting yourself and you're not even fighting fair. God you have no idea, do you?”

“I don't know what to do.” He replied back softly and it broke your heart seeing him so vulnerable with you, his eyes were quaking in fear. To hear him talk so lowly of himself made guilt pang at your heartstrings, if only he knew what good he's done.

“Have you got any idea how much good you've done? Everything you've done for spiders in every single world?” You urged him to see reason, he was always so damn rational. Why wasn't he seeing it? “Being Spiderman is a sacrifice, you know this. If that means losing sometimes...you must let it pass unhindered. But that doesn’t change how much I want you. ”

“No.” Miguel replied curtly, he knew you were right but he just couldn’t handle the idea of losing you right now. He just grabbed your face and kissed you, toppling you onto his lap to forget all about it and just melt into your warm embrace.

#miguel o’hara #spiderman 2099 #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o’hara fluff #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara angst #spiderman across the verse #miguel o’hara x fem!reader #miguel ohara

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angelpassing-by · 3 months

Text

SOMETHING BAD GOING ON LATELY

Characters: Zhongli, Diluc. Genre: angst, comfort. Your boyfriend realises over time you're in a bad mental space and comforts you after you open up. Modern AU. Tw: self harm, not graphic mention of injuries and self harm scars, depression episodes. A/N: English is not my first language. A bit rambly and incoherent, I'm afraid-

ZHONGLI ִ ֗- - - - - - - - ꔫ - - - - - - - - ִ ۫

You hadn't really been feeling yourself lately. Things happened around you as if they were filtered by a distorted glass. Words had a static sound behind them, and even silence felt somehow too heavy.

You laid still most of the time, waiting for the time to pass by, one, two, five hours and counting. Without the soft humming of your partner the air on the appartment felt constricting. The couch wasn't even that comfortable, but you didn't have the energy to get up.

it took some time for the ex-archon to pick up on your behaviour, all in all, as an inmortal being, he was used to stillness. Plus, it definetly didn't help that you weren't normally very energetic either.

"Honey, are you feeling fine?"

That had been a particularly difficult day as you were forced out of your home by your friends. They laughed and joked and you felt so, so out of place through the entire time. You couldn't help but feel inadequate. You weren't as funny as them, or as pretty, or smart or kind. You just couldn't figure out how to reach to them, and in your poor state of mind, everything you could think about was how little you gave to them.

"Yes, just kind of tired, don't worry." You lied, slowly getting up and heading to the kitchen for a glass of water.

"Are you sure, you have been a bit down lately." He trailed behind you but his words seemed to vanish on thin air, or maybe be swallowed by too-thick air.

You couldn't be bothered to respond, why would you? Things changed around you, you could do nothing. Words were spoken, but life just continued after all, long and miserable. And you, you were just watching from the sidelines.

"Do you want to go somewhere? Or maybe just order takeout and watch something." Your boyfriend was getting anxious, he knew nothing about human beings.

Maybe you were sick.

"I'm fine. I'll go to bed early though so don't bother." You talked drily, where were the endearing nicknames or the shy smiles? Zhongli couldn't help but wonder.

You went to bed early without saying goodnight and were still fast asleep when he got up for work. Well, actually, you had prentended to be sleeping, feeling the sweet goodnight kiss on your temple and the squeeze on your hand when he left.

You felt like a terrible partner, avoiding your significant other. In truth, you were scared, what if he dind't seem real? What if he suddenly had the realisation that you were nothing but a bystander in everyone's life?

That night, the scene repeated, but instead of confronting you, Zhongli simply asked in a gentle manner "Can I hug you, my dear?"

That caught you by surprise and you absentmidedly nodded, still convinced that he wouldn't dare to touch you. But he did, wrapping you in big, warm arms and securing you to his chest, the fabric of his expensive suit rubbing against your cheek.

In that precise moment, time froze, the glass cage that had been keeping you isolated for weeks shattering. The thrumming of his heart against your ear, clearer than any sound you'd heard as of lately. His hands on your back felt so real, so genuine. You dind't even noticed that you were talking, softly wispering as he rubbed your back in circular motions.

"You're real."

DILUC ִ ֗ - - - - - - - - ꔫ - - - - - - - - ִ ۫

That was one of the only times when you could actually feel like yourself. When the pressure on your chest was lifted and the stream of tears clouded that little skeptical voice inside your mind.

"Are you even real?"

"Do you exists if no one looks at you?"

"Everything would be fine if you were gone."

The steady pulse hammering your head as the heavy droplets of crimson slide across your marred skin somehow gave you peace. And you felt horrible for it. Horrible for relapsing and falling again for old vices. Horrible for lying to your boyfriend. Horrible because everything was fine, yet you still felt distant from it all.

The tender scars across your arms itched as you tugged on your long sleeves, always paranoid that they would to slip down, just enough to reveal a trail of swollen skin and distorted lines. The anxiety making you space out from whatever your boyfriend was talking at that moment. Truthfully, you had no energy left to hear some story about drunkards or the mysterious Dark Night.

" - and of course, Charles just had to do it, you know?" Diluc, immersed in his monologue as he was, had unconsciously approached you, a shoulder brushing against you own.

You made an uncomfortable noise when he pulled you closer but aside from a hurt look, he let it slide and proceed to ask about your day. Pretty uneventful, you still managed to pull a believable performance sprinkling some exaggerations and white lies into your tale.

From that day on the exchange repeated a handful of times and finally you felt something change in the air between you two. Diluc became careful when approaching you, choosing to keep his distance, and colder, quite literally. You had grown, over the time you both had been together, accustomed to the heat that he naturally radiated due to his vision but now, with your body hidden under layers and layers of protective fabric, the temperature was unbearable. That coldness had seeped into the atmosphere at your home. With Diluc unable to use his love language in fear that it would make you uncomfortable, the tension built up.

"Did I do anything?" That was the last thing you were expecting that day.

You had slipped into bed quickly after a small dinner and Diluc had promptly followed you to the master bedroom, sitting out of arm reach at the edge of the mattress.

"No!" You voice came louder than you had expected it. "No" You repeated yourself quietly.

"Then why this? Did someone do something to you?" He finally looked at you, deeply into your eyes with a scared expression.

"No, it's got nothing to do with you or anybody else. It's just... too hot."

He smiled awkwardly and tried to joke it off "Am I really that hot that you can't stand being around me?"

But you didn't laugh and his serious face and deep frown reappeared. "Maybe if you didn't wear so many layers -"

"No"

"Why?"

And then it happened, it never occurred to you he would ask why. Why? And then you told him. The words pouring out of your mouth without any cohesion or structure. You told him about that part of yourself, the one that didn’t let you live in peace. You told him about that not feeling real that you carried around, about the cuts and how you didn't know how to stop, how to make the urge go away. You rambled until your throat felt sore and your head began pulsating with the familiar thrumming of an imminent headache.

"I know you are not fine, " he paused and moved closer to you "and I doubt there's anything really I can do. But I want - no - I need to help you. I can't stand to see you in pain, I love you too much and you love yourself too little. So please, tell me, what can I do?" His face pleading for something, anything.

Deep red eyes searched for yours before you hesitantly asked, "Can I hold your hand?"

#genshin impact #tw depression #tw self harm #tw depressing stuff #genshin angst #genshin comfort #zhongli x reader #zhongli comfort #diluc x reader #diluc comfort #diluc angst #zhongli angst #depression comfort

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stylesispunk · 6 months

Text

"I couldn't want you anymore" | part 7

Artist! Joel Miller x Florist! Reader

series masterlist | previous chapter | next

summary: when Sarah's mom comes back into Joel's life to fight for their past relationship, Joel needs to convince her he is in a happy relationship with the florist next to his gallery in order to make her go away. The problem is, that he and the florist can't stand each other's guts or that it's what he thinks.

warning: age gap (Joel is 36 and reader is 28). Remember that "Bee" is the reader's nickname, angst as always, fighting between our two main characters + smut, and fluff.

a/n: Hello! Chapter 6 is here. First, I want to thank every one of you for reading and reblog and comment on my story, it makes my heart happy. This chapter is shorter than the last two, but is a chapter I had to rewrite 3 times because, but I didn't like it at all, but I hope you do a little bit at least? haha. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated and please share your thoughts with me, I love reading from you No proofreading so I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes. Happy reading. 💌

masterlist

It's been two weeks since your last visit to Joel's place. It's been two weeks since you showed up on his doorstep, angry and broken because you blamed him for wrecking your plans to move on and start a new life, and two weeks since he kissed you.

Two weeks, and Joel had started to become crazy because of your radio silence.

He had thought that after your emotional outburst, you would simply need time to think, hoping that you would return sooner and ask him to try, for real this time.

After three months of not having you that close, he had replayed every moment of with you, every touch, your eyes, and the taste of your lips. He had poured his heart out to you, declared his love, and yet your response was requesting time to consider his intentions.

He feared you were tired of him, and the accident's wounds didn't hurt as much as his heart. He was recovering faster, yet his emotions were pained.

He recalled the night he crushed your heart, thinking this is exactly how you felt when you said "I love you" and he failed to respond the same back. For him, the irony of pain was how badly you wanted to be comforted by the one who hurt you, but now it was you who wasn't there.

The longing for you got stronger as the days passed, and it became increasingly difficult for him to sit still and wait for you to reach for him. Joel acknowledged that your silence wasn't completely a rejection, but he was afraid that the distance you were creating might shatter what was left of your story.

He didn't want you to become a memory; instead, he wanted to create memories with you.

"I think she's being unfair to Joel," Tommy said over dinner, seeing Sarah, Lily, and Joel's gaze on him.

"Why do you mean by that?" Lily asked, defiantly

"Joel told her he loved him, wasn't that what she wanted?" he inquired.

Joel threw his brother a cautionary stare as Lily scoffed.

"No, no, it wasn't. She didn't stay because of him."

The weight of the conversation was pressing down on Joel. He was aware that everyone around him were concerned about him, but at the same time he hated how everyone had a say about you and him, not knowing what really was involved.

"It's not like he forced her to stay," Tommy continued.

Joel's irritation was rising, and he felt the tension between his brother and Lily; after all, she was your best friend, and she would defend you from everyone.

Joel pushed his plate aside, feeling that he was in an endless cycle of emotional limbo as he lost his appetite. All he wanted was to have you back in his life, but that was a decision only you could make, and it was driving him insane.

"Can you both stop?" Joel interfered, his voice firm. "I don't need you two fighting over something that was my mistake."

Tommy and Lily fell silent, their expressions softening with concern. They exchanged a glance before Lily spoke, her tone gentler now. "Joel, Tommy is worried about you. We can see how much you're hurting."

Joel nodded, acknowledging their concern. "I know. Thanks for looking out for me, but this is something I have to figure out with Bee. If she needs time, I'll give her time, even if it kills me”

Tommy, understanding his brother's feelings, nodded in agreement. "You're right, Joel. We'll be here for you, no matter what."

Joel appreciated their support, but he couldn't help but wish that you would break the silence and give him some clarity about your feelings. The uncertainty was becoming almost unbearable.

Joel continued going back to the moments you'd had, your most recent overwhelming argument, and your decision to take some time apart. He wished he could break the stillness and tell you how much he loved you. He wasn't just driven by the desire to fix his mistake; he also wanted to repair a relationship that had been harmed due to his commitment.

He felt more anxious with each passing day, his longing for your presence almost unnerving. The gap between you required to be filled with understanding, trust, and reconciliation.

He'd been on edge for days, spending his days recovering from the accident, alone when Sarah departed for school, with only a painful silence echoing in the back of his mind, waiting for any sign from you.

When the doorbell rang one hour later, he felt a rush of hope running through his body, thinking that maybe you had finally come to him to talk things through. He rushed to the door and opened it, only to find you standing there with a serious expression and small envelope in your hand.

"Joel," you said before he had a chance to say something "I've come to give you this."

He was taken aback, expecting an emotional talk rather than a monotonous tone leaking through your voice, indicating an absence of enthusiasm.

You didn't even look like yourself; you were painted in grey shades.

"What's that?" he asked.

You handed him the envelope containing the money he had paid Connell for your shop behind your back "I don't need anything from you, Joel. Not your pity, not the idea that you own me because you bought my shop. I can take care of myself."

Joel's face contorted with an array of emotions as he was taken aback by your words. "Bee, it's not about that. I—"

But you cut him off, your frustration evident in your voice. "Joel, you can't just buy something I love, throw your money at my back, or kiss me and expect everything to be fine." You won't be able to buy your way back into my life."

He struggled to hold back his anger in the midst of your stubbornness any longer. "I'm not attempting to bribe my way in, Bee. I thought I was showing how much I cared, how much I was willing to do to in order to make things right."

Your eyes were filled with rage. "What?" you ask. "You thought that once I found out you were the one buying my shop, I was going to run back to you?" "That I was going to be over heals for you?" you hit him in the chest.

Joel's rage and pain welled up within him. He tried to narrow the gap between you and make amends, but every step he took appeared to push you farther away. In an outburst of rage, he cried out, "What do you want from me, Bee?" "How long will it take for us to get things right?"

You shook your head, the annoyance clear in your voice. "You can't expect grand gestures to fix everything." It takes time, effort, and faith to repair what has been damaged."

"All right," he said, taking a step closer to you and leaning in closer. "If you despise me that much, leave!" "Leave as you said you were going to"

You stared at him agape, your own anger rising at him. His words stung.

Joel's remarks had hurt deep, and you couldn't deny that you had been holding resentment and rage. But his closeness, his intensity, made you feel weak "Maybe you want to go back to what we used to be, all the fighting, all the cursing," he whispered in your ear, "Maybe you loved that."

The harsh tone of his words caught you off guard. Your feelings for one other were a tangled knot of love, anger, impatience, and hurt.

You were drawn in by his dark gaze, and you cupped his face firmly feeling the warmth of the skin beneath your fingertips. The rage remained, but beneath it was an obvious spell that kept you together.

"Shut up," you commanded, your stare locked on his, his lips inches from yours, his breath against your mouth.

"Make me," he challenged you, staring you in the eyes.

Joel's dare hung in the air, challenging you to break the distance dividing you, to let go of your rage and fury, and eventually give in to the magnetic pull that had always been between you.

You crashed both of your lips with not a single word, going into an intense kiss. It was laced with desire and frustration against each other, the climax of all the tension that had been building over the weeks you were together once and three months apart. Your lips moved eagerly together, each of you pouring all of your feelings into the kiss.

And now that his arm was healed, he clutched your hips and push you against the door, without intentions of stopping devouring your mouth in this hungry kiss. Your arms found their way to his neck to tangle into his locks, and Joel groaned into your mouth.

"You fucking idiot," you muttered between kisses, but he bit your bottom lip to silence you as his hands moved from your hips to your bum and to your waist, drawing you closer to him. His lips started kissing your neck until they found your mouth once more, you whimpered against his mouth.

His hands found the gem in your top and yanked it off. He'd spent the last three months longing to see you like this again, and now he was on cloud nine.

"Bedroom," he whispered softly, not breaking the kiss.

Once you stepped in his room, you were lying on your back with him on top, taking your lips back to his again.

You placed your arms around his neck and opened your legs so he could go closer to you, moaning at the sensation of him against where you wanted him most.

"This doesn't mean anything," you whispered as he ground his hips against yours, sending electricity running through your body.

"Shut up," he said, and you chuckled, grabbing his pants.

"Make me," you said, with a smirk on your face just like he did minutes ago.

He groaned into the skin of your neck, yanking his jeans and underwear off. Your gentle grasp on him caused him to whimper.

He drew you closer to him by your hips as you continued to devour one other, his hands going under the denim skirt you were wearing.

You knew this was bad, that allowing him to do these types of things with you was a show of weakness, but you couldn't stop the joy and the dazzling fireworks traveling up to your lower stomach were stronger than your thoughts. You were utterly out of breath, and you wanted him so bad it ached that you felt your lungs would catch fire.

You couldn't really comprehend what he was saying on the skin of your chest because your mind was consumed by the overwhelming desire to have him as you needed right now.

He paused kissing you and spreading kisses on your chest for a moment to gaze at your parted lips and your chest rising and falling as a result of him, and he couldn't lie, he felt proud of his lasting control over you.

"Are you going to keep looking or are you going to f-"

You couldn't finish before he snatched your lips back, dragging you around his waist and grinding himself against you, making you moan against his lips. With such want, you could feel the aching growing up between your tights.

"You don't seem so mad at me right now, do you?" he huskily whispered in your ear, making your knees weak.

Before you could fire your retort, his fingers teasingly pulled your underwear down, careful to avoid where you wanted him the most. He seemed to be having a good time and enjoying every second of you squirming under him. Your head fell back to the bed, a gentle but irritated murmur from your lips. When he saw your reaction, he smiled, and you felt the delicate touch of his fingers stroking across your core.

"Oh," you whimpered, out of breath.

His soft lips caressed every single area of your skin on your chest, just over your red bra, with an agonizing slowness that made you insane and roll your eyes of pure pleasure. The one he unhooked with one hand so swiftly you gasped, a sound drowned out by the sensation of his lips over your nipples while he continued to pound on you at your core.

He greets you with a laugh, his cheeks exposing his dimples, and his eyes shining at the sight of you.

"Stop teasing, you idiot," you grumbled.

He sucked on a nipple, causing your back to arch as he gripped your hips to the bed before meeting your eyes, absorbing every inch of your face lost in the joy of the moment, stroking your checks with his thumb.

As he grabbed for a condom from his bedside table, you grip the gem of his t-shirt to remove it, leaving no barrier between the two of you.

He moved between your tights, spreading them apart once more, and welcomed himself into you. You hadn't had him since that night when you confessed to him, and he felt even bigger than you remembered, and you both gasped when he began thrusting inside. He pushed his forehead against your neck, kissing you softly over the skin.

"You're amazing like this," he said into your ear, "God I could just-"

He could complete it since he focused solely on making you pleased picking up his pace and thrusting quicker. He was completely inside you, feeling like he was breaking down your defenses as he pushed it on and on. You were out of breath, and all the air in your lungs didn't feel quite enough. You bucked your hips, allowing him to move even more quickly. And that's exactly what he did, giving you everything you asked for.

As your nails left red lines on his naked back and he thrust his hips harder into you, you could feel the heat spreading all over your body, like diesel meeting fire, causing an imminent explosion.

You struggled to breathe, but it didn't matter since the surge of ectasis he gave you was enough to make you feel alive. His finger traced the patterns over you, leaving hot flames all over your skin, and you clutched him, trying to appreciate this closeness before it was ripped away.

And he continued to rock into you. The sounds you both produced were completely hot, forcing your blood to rush into your checks as you continued to toss your head back to give him permission to mark the skin of your neck.

"Fuck you," you said in ecstasy,

"you’re doing it, love" he retorted.

You grasped for his hair to hold him tight against your lips, kissing the warm skin under his ear as if you wanted him to hear you, panting for air, feeling your climax come so close that you trembled against his body. Not long after, your world spun around you, and you tightened your grip on his waist, feeling the release as you cursed in his ear, forcing him to release after you. His push grew sloppy, sending small sparks up your tights, till he came to a halt and you saw a delicious sight.

He kissed your temple for a few seconds longer, enjoying the sweat drips on your skin. Finally, you looked into his eyes. His brow eyes' delicate brightness sent thrills down your spine, leaving you with a lump in your throat.

Joel chuckled as he caressed your warm face, his touch on your skin radiating affection. All of the tension and resentment that led you to have sex before disappeared into the void.

"You don't have to go anywhere," he leaned in, his lips brushing against your brow. You're exactly where you should be."

You closed your eyes, appreciating his proximity and the soothing sound of his voice. “How can I trust you?”

Joel's lips lingered on your forehead as he replied, his words filled with sincerity, "Because when I hold you like this, it's where I find peace and meaning, Bee. I was a fool not to see it then. It took almost losing you to realize I'm in love with you."

Your eyes met his, and for a moment, everything seemed to align. The honesty in his confession left you breathless. The anger, the passion, and the pain you both had shared had led you to this moment, where the love you had for each other was undeniable.

Your heart ached at his words "Joel, it's not that simple. There's so much we need to work through, so much we need to rebuild."

He nodded, his thumb brushing lightly against your cheek. "I know, Bee”

Joel rested his forehead against yours, enveloping the both of you in comfortable silence.

“Can you give me my clothes, please?” You asked breaking the atmosphere

With a heavy heart, Joel nodded and reluctantly pulled away from you.

He moved to take your clothes from the ground of his bedroom and handed them to you. The air between you felt charged. The lust, and passion you felt for each other leaded you to crossed the line once again, this time, being the anger, the main feeling holding you together.

“You don’t have to go now, you know that?” he pleaded,

You avoid looking into his eyes, you knew you were weak for the man and you could fall for his words.

“I know, but I need to” you answered, as you quickly dressed, convincing yourself, you didn’t want to give yourself so easily to him again.

"Can you give me my clothes, please?" You spoke, breaking the comfortable silence between you two.

Joel nodded, involuntarily breaking away from you, with a heavy heart.

He took your clothes from the floor of his bedroom and handed them to you. The space between you now felt tense again. The lust and passion you had for each other drove you to cross the boundary once more, but this time with fury as the main feeling holding you together.

"You don't have to go now, you know that?" He begged,

You avoid looking into his eyes because you know that you were vulnerable for him and you might be persuaded by his words.

"I know, but I have to," you replied as you hurriedly dressed, assuring yourself that you didn't want to give yourself so easily to him.

Joel sat there silently watching you, his eyes full with love and need for you. He knew what had just happened was fueled by rage and desire, and that didn't mean you were okay with him. It would be difficult to repair your connection.

You turned to face Joel as you finished dressing. "I need some time, Joel." Time to reflect, heal, and figure out where we stand."

“It was good by the way” you addressed smiling at him, referring to what you’d had “But it doesn’t mean I want to be with you right now."

With those words, you made your way to his bedroom door.

“And what was that back at the hospital when I got into the accident?” he asked before you left, “Would you rather for me to be dead or what?”

You came to a halt as his words impacted you like a punch in the gut. You turned back to face Joel, your rage returning.

"That's not fair, Joel," you replied, your voice shaking with emotion. "You know I would rather die than lose you like that".

"Then why are you so scared?" he questioned, reaching for you once more.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you struggled to fight the oncoming storm of emotions. "Because I'm not just afraid of losing you." I'm afraid I'll lose myself again. "I'm afraid of getting hurt." You let out a sigh. "You led me on back then, how can I trust you again?"

Joel took a step closer, his voice desperate. "I promise not to hurt you again, Bee." I've learned from my errors. Give us a chance to make things right."

You shook your head, unable to find the appropriate words. "Joel, I need more than promises. I need time for healing and rebuild trust. That is a process that cannot be rushed."

Joel sagged his shoulders and ran a hand through his hair, clearly distressed. "I'm at a loss for words, Bee. I love you and will do everything for you."

You took a step back, putting distance between you two. "Joel, love is more than just saying the words. It's all about showing it through actions."

You turned and walked away from Joel, leaving him with a broken heart and a need that mirrored your own.

You had taken refuge in your own peace a week later, evaluating your alternatives in all facets of your life. What were you going to do with your work, yourself, and even Connell, since despite his assurances that he would never hate you, you own him more than you realize.

And on the opposite side, there was Joel. He had expressed his love for you, but you had learned that words are insufficient in this instance. You knew it would take time to reestablish confidence. But as time passed, you couldn't help but miss him even more than you did the first time. He had a tremendous power over you. The times you spent together, the laughter, the shared moments, and how he taught you to fall in love again.

You remembered that night at the gallery when he showed you the drawing he had made of you. When he first caressed the skin of your body, leaving his mark on you.

Deep down, you knew that love was a tricky and imperfect emotion that didn't always follow a straight line. Despite your concerns, you wished to give Joel another chance.

A knock on the door broke through your thoughts. You jumped up from the couch, cautiously approaching the door. When you opened it, you were surprised to see Lauren standing on your porch. She looked concerned, her gaze avoiding direct contact with yours.

"Lauren, what are you doing here?" "How do you know where I live?" you wondered. Your tone was a mix of surprise and curiosity.

Lauren took a big breath and looked you in the eyes. "I need to speak with you. "Can I come in?"

You hesitated for a second before stepping aside and allowing her to enter. She entered your living room and sat, her posture eager and apprehensive.

You joined her on the couch after closing the door behind her. "What's this about, Lauren?"

Lauren looked at you, her eyes searching for understanding. “I know our first encounter wasn’t friendly, and I want to apologize. I’m truly sorry for the way I acted”

Lauren's honesty in her eyes was not lost on you. You were afraid she was coming to tell you she was now with Joel, which could break your heart.

Lauren continued "And I'm really ashamed of this but I think you should forgive Joel"

You took a big breath, unsure what to say. Lauren's apologies caught you off guard, and you were at a loss for words. "I appreciate your apology, Lauren," you said after a little pause. It means a lot to me." "But Joel isn't a topic I want to discuss with you," you said timidly.

"It is," she replied. "I know you weren't together. He told me."

Your pupils dilated, and you couldn't help but feel embarrassed.

"And yes, at first I wanted to be with him," she admitted. "I wanted my family back, but it's too late now." And I have to thank Sarah for accepting me back into her life after what I did, but Joel? will never love me again."

"Why are you so sure?" you questioned, your tone tense.

"Because he has been in love since the beginning."

"The eyes, he had been looking at you with such adoration, neither I had those eyes looking at me like that."

You were out of breath, and a knot formed in your throat.

"No, that's not-"

"You love him too," she said, "and let me tell you something, the years I lost with Sarah?" I'm not going to get them back. So, if you and Joel truly love each other, don't waste more time."

Lauren's sudden comments stunned you while also leaving you conflicted. Her apology for her prior behavior was a step toward peacemaking, but her admissions regarding Joel and his sentiments caught you off guard.

You paused before responding, your mind racing, "I'm not sure I want to get hurt again."

She nodded in agreement, and he dug inside her purse for something, that turned out to be a journal.

She nodded in understanding, and then he reached for something inside her bag for something, it was a journal.

“I stole this from Joel. I think you should take a look” she laughed, giving the journal to you.

“I just don't want to see you both miss out on something beautiful because of fear or doubts. Life's too short for regrets."

You looked at her with a mixture of gratitude and uncertainty. "I need time, Lauren, to figure things out and heal. I'll consider what you've said, though. Thank you for your apology and for your concern."

Lauren smiled warmly at you “Good luck” she said.

You couldn't help but stare at the book in your hands as you saw Lauren leave your house.

The journal she had given you caught your curiosity, and you couldn't stop yourself from opening it to find out what was inside.

You started flipping the pages, knowing it was Joel's journal. The entries spanned several years ago, from the years you arrived here, and reading them made you feel touched by the depth of his feelings and the journey he had been on. The pages were crammed with his ideas, hopes, and dreams, many of which were centered on you.

Joel had written about the day you two first met and the times he had spent with you, but it was the drawings of you that grabbed your attention.

"The pretty florist next to my gallery looking at her flowers"

"The florist in her environment, framed by a floral tapestry."

"The pretty florist, a captivating muse for my brush and canvas."

All of the entries were from the last four years.

However, the most recent one, from a year ago,

"the florist who stole my heart"

And you realized Joel had been loving you long before you had feelings for him.

a/n: Okay, so you know things may get better between them...

tags 💌: @joeldjarin @borhapparker @fatima-marisa @kirsteng42 @paleidiot @harriedandharassed @runningmom94 @pedr0swh0r3 @ssacharcoalgrey @missladym1981

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judeswhore · 2 years

Text

tell me again; steve harrington

summary: steve was fully aware that his feelings for you went beyond “just friends” but the fear of ruining years of friendship kept him radio silent. however, a murderous wizard wreaking havoc around hawkins and a little bit of encouragement from his younger friends has him finally admitting the truth.

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

requested: yes

warnings: slight st4 spoilers

notes: i’m so sorry this took so long i wasn’t really sure what to write so hopefully this is okay, i think this is the longest steve fic ive ever written. also thank u sm for 2500 followers!!! i’m v grateful and appreciative, the feedback on my fics is always so amazing so thank u v much for that :)) you can find my masterlist here.

steve was completely unable to keep his eyes off you for more than ten seconds at a time, no matter what he was supposed to be focusing on, his attention always found it's way back to you, gaze soft but tinted with concern. he'd let his eyes linger on you while trying to hold a conversation with nancy and robin, struggling to come up with ideas to help figure out the ins and outs of the curse but failing miserably because of his fear that you might become the next victim. there wasn't anything in the world steve harrington was more afraid of than losing you.

you'd been a constant light in his life since you were both twelve years old, a never changing force attached to his hip through everything. every up and down you'd been there, every fight with his parents, every failed test, his rocky relationship with nancy and his downfall from king steve to the designated babysitter. you'd been with him through it all, always there to give him your best pep talk and that earth shattering smile that would have him forgetting why exactly he needed a pep talk in the first place. steve knew deep down there would never be anyone like you again, his heart would never react to anyone like it does to you and he wished, god he so badly wished, he'd not wasted so much time on things that didn't matter. because hawkins was going under and steve was scared he'd lose you before he got the chance to show you just how much you meant to him.

for the hundredth time that night he let his eyes seek you out again, tuning out dustin and lucas' conversation about getting more supplies to eddie as soon as possible. nancy and robin had disappeared upstairs not too long ago, robin mumbling something about getting food before she passed out. you, however, were sitting on a mattress across the room from the sofa he was perched on, your back against the wall, legs crossed as max lay with her head against them. the two of you were mumbling quietly to each other, max's head tilted at an angle to meet your eyes, your head dipped low as though to hide your conversation from the others. steve watched the way your fingers sifted gently through the younger girls hair, an almost mother like gesture that sent a pang of longing through his heart.

max being cursed and you all so unsure how to save her had tilted the groups axis significantly, however steve knew you had been completely thrown overboard with the revelation. max had always been like a sister to you, you'd taken her under your wing her first week in hawkins after an unfortunate run in with billy and, as dustin had been with steve, she'd clung to you ever since. even after everything that happened at the mall, you were the only person max didn't push away, the only person she let take care of her when there was no one else around. steve knew you were hurting, knew you felt lost and unable to help and he wanted to pull you into him, to wrap you up in his arms and kiss you until you stopped worrying. but he knew that wasn't possible. like steve, you wouldn't stop worrying until you were more than one hundred percent certain that all the kids were safe.

your lips suddenly tilted into a soft smile, that smile that had steve's knees threatening to give out, and you playfully flicked at max's forehead, a brief moment of normality passing between the two of you. max's smile wasn't as bright, didn't quite reach her eyes, but it settled steve somewhat because he knew it was real and that meant it would ease something inside of you too. max curled her fingers around yours and held your hand to her chest, tilting her head even further as she muttered something that made you nod. slow but full of purpose and then your fingers returned to her hair.

"dude, don't you think it's time to tell her how you feel?" dustin's elbow landed in steve's ribs following his mumbled question and the older boy winced and groaned, pressing his hand firmly to the spot. he finally managed to tear his gaze from you, eyes instead landing on the two boys watching him with knowing looks.

"what are you talking about, henderson?"

"don't you "what are you talking about" me, harrington. you know exactly what i'm talking about." dustin nodded his head in your direction before falling back against the sofa, slouching with a book settled on his lap. "if you keep staring at her like that she might start to melt."

"i'm not staring at her. i'm making sure she's okay, making sure they are okay." steve huffed like a petulant child at being caught out. he knew he wasn't exactly the most subtle when watching out for you but still. friends watch over friends. steve does it with all of them.

"you're staring at her like she might disappear if you blink." this observation came quietly from lucas, and sliding his gaze over, steve found him watching max. the expression on his face was so clear to steve, so obvious. it held every single thought and emotion that had been running through steve's head for the past few hours and in that moment he knew, just like him, lucas' heart was already sitting firmly in max mayfield's hands, whether she knew it or not.

"i don't-" lucas shook his head before steve could continue, running the tip of his finger repeatedly around the mug he was nursing between his hands.

"i get it. i feel like max might disappear if i'm not looking too and it's the worst feeling i've ever had." the words tumbled from his lips, edges harsh and jagged, raw with emotion that screamed to steve. because it didn't matter how young lucas was, how little time he might have known max, he was in love with her and steve understood the gravity of loss when love was involved. "none of us know what's gonna happen next, steve, but i think y/n deserves to know how you feel. don't leave it until it's too late."

"i can't. i-" steve shook his head and dragged a hand through his hair, a light feeling of nausea rolling over him at the thought of finally coming clean. he'd kept his feelings locked away for so long he wasn't sure how he was meant to tell you. what if you hated him for leaving it so long? what if you thought of him as only your friend and he ruined that by making things awkward. he'd rather have you as a friend, unaware of how much you meant to him, than not have you at all. "she knows i love her." which was true enough. you knew steve loved you to some extent, that just above the surface love that he felt for the rest of his friends and he thinks deep down he could live with you only knowing that level of his feelings if it meant never having to say goodbye to you.

"you're in love with her, there's a difference." dustin pointed out, thumbing at the pages of his book, his eyes darting between steve and you. "look, we have no idea who might end up cursed, we have no idea what's gonna happen to us all, don't let something so important slip through your fingers because you're a coward."

"i'm not a coward. i just can't lose her and if she doesn't feel the same then i've fucked up years of friendship and i can't do that."

"and what if you lose her anyway? what if you never tell her and the world fucking ends and she's stuck thinking all she ever was to you was a friend."

"i don't think she'd be all that bothered about-"

"jesus christ, harrington, y/n is so obviously in love with you. she looks at you like you hung the moon.” lucas shook his head, the words hissed lowly in order to keep quiet from the two girls having their own secret conversation. "the way you two look at each other, like there's no one else around, like you'd run straight to fucking hell and back for the other with no hesitation. that goes way beyond friendship and if you don't do something now there are so many ways that you could lose her. there are so many things that i wanna say to max and i don’t even know if i have the time to say them all. make your move before it's too late."

lucas took a deep breath and let his attention settle back on max, that troubled look returning to his eyes. steve knew max and lucas were going through somewhat of a rough patch and his heart gave a twang of sympathy for the other boy. he knew exactly how suffocating it felt to have so much to say and no idea how to say it. you and max were still huddled together, whispering words back and forth, your fingers still running comfortingly through the tangled strands of her hair. as though feelings steve's eyes on you, you glanced up with that favourite smile of his, the one that so easily sent his thoughts skidding away. little did he know as he sent you his own smile, that max had been giving you the exact same speech he'd just gotten, a speech that in just a few hours would change everything.

everyone was sleeping, soft snores and light breaths the only sound in the wheeler's basement but you couldn't seem to settle, tossing and turning on the tiny mattress in front of the sofa every five seconds. it was hot and stuffy and your mind was racing from your earlier conversation with max. the younger girl had lectured you on not being honest about your feelings for steve, had almost scolded you for hiding your feelings when, in her words "steve worshiped the ground you walked on and it was time you both stopped dancing around the truth". she was right, obviously, about your feelings, but your fear of steve's rejection was a dark cloud over your head and was enough to keep you quiet. you could love him in silence, that had always been okay.

max's constant reminder to you of the curse and how there was no guarantee in life also wasn't helping you sleep. you were running out of time and options and you weren't at all ready to say goodbye to the girl you'd come to think of as a sister. you would save her, you had to. a sigh puffed from your lips, unintentionally loud as you flopped on to your back, eyes turning towards the ceiling. steve was sleeping on the sofa above you and you jolted when his hand appeared over the side, fingers prodding lightly into your cheek as he gave a soft grumble.

"stop wriggling." he mumbled, words muffled from what you assume was a result of his face being smushed into his pillow.

"sorry," you tried to keep quiet, fighting the urge again to flip back on to your side. "can't sleep, everything's uncomfortable." steve was silent for a few seconds, his hand still dangling over the edge of the sofa, fingers so close to your face and then suddenly his head was hanging over the edge too. his eyes were heavy and sleepy, hair a complete mess from the pillow and your stomach flipped, goosebumps rising across your arms at how effortlessly pretty he looked. he cocked his lips in a lopsided smile and tapped his fingers against your chin.

"c'mere." then he disappeared again, slumped back into the comfort of the sofa but you didn't move, stayed rooted to the mattress because you weren't entirely sure you'd heard him correctly. that was until he gave a breathy laugh and spoke again. "come here, y/n." his voice was low and still full of sleep and it stirred something inside of you, made your mind race a mile a minute.

sitting up you turned your head to see steve settled back into the sofa, his fingers curled around one corner of the blanket to hold it open for you. his eyes seemed to twinkle, that lazy smile still glued to his lips as he waited for you. without too much thought you climbed up beside him, laying on your side, your face in line with steve's and you gave a quiet hum when he let the blanket fall back around you both. his hand fumbled to wrap it around you, tucking you in so tightly that your chests were almost pressed together. he was warm, the heat radiating from him and it made your thoughts a little foggy.

"better?" his breath fanned your face and this close you could make out every freckle across his nose, every fleck of green in the browns of his eyes and you never wanted to look away.

"yeah." you gave a small nod, slightly flustered and unsure of where to put your arms and so you kept them awkwardly sandwiched between you. so awkwardly in fact that steve chuckled and took one hand in his own, lifting it to his lips where he skimmed teasing kisses across your knuckles. his gaze was intense, so much so that you wanted to squirm and you were more than shocked at the gentle press of his mouth on your skin.

"wanna tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours?" you just shrugged, not really wanting to voice your worries about max and the curse, feeling as though saying it out loud would make it all the more real. steve hummed in understanding and it tickled against your fingers before he dropped them again, his hand stayed locked around yours however, thumb sweeping back and forth over your palm in a way that had you fighting back shivers. he was still watching you with that same overly intense look in his eyes, your faces so close together from resting against the same pillow. "you know i'll never let anything happen to you, right?"

"there are things that even you can't save us from, steve." you mumbled the words softly, unsure whether he was talking about you alone or the group but the flicker in his eyes suggested it was the former. he gave your fingers a quick squeeze.

"i'll do anything to make sure you're safe, i need you to know that. i can't lose you, y/n.”

"i know. me and you against the world, right?" you shuffled in closer to him, thankful for his warmth because it seemed to have calmed you somehow, a layer of comfort wrapped around you. steve sucked in a breath when your knees bumped against his legs, a soft pink tinting the tops of his cheekbones. he let go of your hand, his gaze still locked on yours and instead brought his fingers to your face. he brushed the backs of them over the curve of your jaw before tucking your hair carefully behind your ear.

"i can't lose you."

"you're not gonna lose me," you curled your own fingers around his wrist and tilted your head into it, an unfamiliar boldness washing over you as

you pressed your lips to the soft skin. steve's lips twitched into a smile, one that felt like liquid heat inside of you. "gonna be stuck with me for the rest of your life, whether you like it or not, harrington."

"i think i could live with that." his eyes searched your face, taking in each and every small feature as though he was committing them to memory. the way he was looking at you made the hairs on your arms stand up, heat curling in your stomach as your heart gave a thud. he'd never looked at you with such intensity before and you weren't sure how to handle it, your body feeling hot under his attention. his palm found your cheek, soft against the skin, and you melted into him with the first swipe of his thumb beneath your eye. "you're so beautiful."

you let out a startled breath that fanned across his lips and it was only then that you realised you'd moved so close to him, your faces only inches apart. his eyes fell to your lips, gaze dark and every thought in your head turned to dust in that moment, steve's fingers the only thing you could focus on. the entire room seemed to have fallen silent as though waiting for one of you to move, even dustin's bulldozer snores seemed muted to your ears.

"steve-"

"i love you." the words tumbled from his lips, a little harsher than he intended and you blinked in surprise, lips parting again on his name but he was speaking already. "i mean, i'm in love with you." those words were a lot softer, muttered almost nervously into the room and you didn't miss the flush on his cheeks or the anxious waver of his voice.

"you're in love with me?"

"so in love with you." his nod was slow, his lips curving into a tentative smile. his thumb trailed to your bottom lip and he carefully brushed over it, tugging it down ever so slightly before letting it snap back into place. "you have no idea." you were frozen, eyes locked on steve but he was staring at your mouth, eyes glassy and a little unfocused and you wanted to know what exactly was running through his head, wanted to know if his thoughts were as jumbled as yours.

steve harrington was in love with you. your best friend, the boy who teased you about your braces, the boy you fought russian's with, the boy you'd been in love with since he first offered you his chocolate bar when you were twelve years old, was in love with you. your mind wouldn't let you believe it, your heart hammering in your chest as you wondered over whether he was just joking with you. but he looked so serious, so set and the nervous glint in his eyes made you think that he maybe was being honest.

"you don't have to say it back, i know you probably don't feel the same but with everything that's happening with the curse and us having no fucking clue what we're doing, i just needed you to know." you arched your eyebrows at him and shuffled impossibly closer, lifting your hand to brush his hair back off his forehead.

"you seriously think i wouldn't feel the same?" he just shrugged, suddenly looking shy, his eyes flickering around your face and you gave a quiet laugh, head shaking. "steve, i've been in love with you since we were twelve." you felt his entire body go tense against you, his thumb pausing it’s back and forth motion across your chin and the awe struck expression on his face made you giggle quietly.

“why didn’t you say anything?”

“why didn’t you say anything?” you prodded his cheek playfully and he sent you a sheepish grin, ducking his head ever so slightly. you watched him, slipping your hand over his neck until his hair tickled the tips of your fingers. “i guess looming death is a great way to get a love confession out of someone, hm?”

“lucas made me realise that i want you to know just how much i love you in case the worst happens. i need you to know how much you mean to me, that i don’t just look at you and see my best friend, that i look at you and i see someone i wanna spend the rest of my life with. however long that might be.” a slow smile curved your lips at his words and you pushed your fingers completely into his hair, leaning in to nudge your nose against his. your chest felt light but hot, completely fuzzy because steve loved you.

“i love you more than i thought was ever possible, i’m so in love with every single part of you steve harrington.” steve’s grin was wide and full blown, almost taking up his entire face and it was that smile that made your first kiss so ridiculously awkward for the first couple of seconds. it was a clash of teeth, a bump of noses, the gentle knock of his chin against yours until you giggled and he laughed and then he was kissing your properly. full and with so much love your blood seemed to sing in your veins and your heart hammered so harshly against your chest you were certain it was trying to reach his.

his fingers gripped lightly at your chin to keep you tilted towards him and the soft noise he let out into your mouth when you shifted your fingers through his hair was decidedly your new favourite sound. his lips were warm and soft, so soft you were determined to know what lip balm he used, and he tasted of mint, his toothpaste not yet having warn off, with the tiniest hint of the coffee he’d been stealing from you all day. you felt dizzy, drunk on his kisses and in that moment you’d do absolutely anything he asked of you. steve’s body shifted until he was half hovering over you, the blanket thankfully covering you from any prying eyes however you hoped everyone was still fast asleep.

this moment was one you wanted to stay in forever. in time, whenever you thought of fleeting happiness, it would be this moment. steve’s lips on yours, his previous declaration of love branded into your heart like an immovable stamp. he nipped ever so slightly at your bottom lip and then mumbled his next words directly into your mouth, the sound muffled and messy, his voice a little shaky.

“tell me again.”

“hmm?” you couldn’t concentrate. not when he was kissing you the way he was, when you could feel every inch of his body up against yours, the heat of him swirling white hot happiness in your stomach. he pulled back slightly, lips only inches from yours and sent you a small smile. the tops of his cheeks were flushed and his hair was messy from your fingers, falling carelessly over his forehead, just kissing the tops of his eyebrows.

“i wanna hear you say it again, so i know i’m not dreaming.”

“you had me like this in a lot of your dreams, harrington?”

“a few of them, although we’re both usually wearing a lot less clothes.” you smacked his shoulder at that, eyes rolling despite your grin because you’d be a liar if you said you hadn’t had similar dreams. steve smothered his laughter in your hair, trying his hardest to stay quiet and not wake the others. he was guaranteed to be teased once they found out he finally admitted how he felt and he’d much rather have shared a few more kisses before that happened. he took a few seconds to calm his giggles and then tipped his head back to you, dropping a kiss to your chin and then the corner of your mouth. “tell me again.”

with a sigh you took his face in your hands, palms soft against his cheeks and stared headlong into those dark eyes that had you hooked from day one. your thumbs brushed beneath his eyes and you lifted your head to nudge his nose. “i love you.” there was such finality to your words, a solid statement, a fact, something that would never change and that was all it took for steve to bring you in for another kiss. this one was deeper and a little more desperate but still so utterly and completely toe curling. you had been through your fair share of kisses but nothing would ever come close to this one.

#stranger things #stranger things blurb #stranger things fic #joe keery #steve harrington #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fic

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feeblescholarmyass · 5 months

Text

An Awful Apology

In which Osamu Dazai does an awful job at consoling you after he got hurt. Alternatively, you give Dazai a bath and it makes you cry.

tags: non-sexual nudity, injuries, bathing together, helping Dazai rewrap his bandages as a sign of affection, Dazai is bad at handling emotions, Dazai uses humor to try to lighten the mood (it doesn't work), scar mention, bittersweet undertones, not really fluff not really angst, angst with comfort maybe?, Dazai x reader

a/n: this originally was going to be multiple characters but then I changed my mind

masterlist

All of the jokes he'd made about seeing you without your clothes had simply been that: jokes. It had served as something to fill the silence that had long accompanied your shared moments of solitude, a way to search for your laughter and make you both forget what you were thinking about.

He would be lying if he told you he'd never thought of you that way, but he would never act in a way that would result in your beautiful humanity being shattered. The light that shined in your eyes was more precious to him than his own life, and he promised himself that he would never do anything to make it go out.

He had never imagined it would happen like this. It was his fault. He'd gotten reckless, even though he knew how you felt about it. He got the job done, and that was what mattered.

But he had gotten hurt. Yosano had wanted to heal him, but after you insisted he should go through the healing process as punishment and had practically threatened to hurt him again yourself if you had to, she relented. So technically it was your fault.

He'd fully expected to have to deal with his injuries himself, but when you followed him home and sat beside him in silence, he began to suspect that you wouldn't be leaving him alone for some time.

He let you sit and stare at him, as uncomfortable as it was. He had tried to tease you about it. "Afraid I'm going to disappear, darling?" He asked, grinning at you playfully.

You hadn't responded. Instead, your grip on your chair tightened and a shaky breath escaped your lips. Oh, he thought.

So he let the silence surround you, a weight that he would bear so you wouldn't cry. That would be the worst possible outcome.

"You smell really bad. You haven't showered in a long time, have you?" You finally spoke, still refusing to look him in the eyes.

He laughed. It sounded hollow, but he didn't know how else to respond.

"The hospital gave me instructions on how to change your bandages after they get wet." You looked away. You knew it was a sore subject. "If you would allow me," you added softly, that look in your eyes spearing through his heart.

"I suppose it might be difficult to do on my own," he said. Strangely, it didn't terrify him as much as he thought it would. Everyone had scars. You would see his. He hadn't expected for you to show him yours.

It wasn't awkward. You removed his clothes, and there were no heated touches or flushed cheeks. It was tender, so much so it almost hurt more that way. He would've preferred it if you had stumbled, showing some sort of hesitation. He would've had something to deflect with that way.

His eyes, as accustomed to wandering as they were, were glued to your hands. They shook with the emotions you wouldn't voice. Even as you gently raised your shirt above your head, it was your hands he noticed. They weren't delicate by any means, he knew that well, but they seemed fragile now. You seemed fragile.

Together, you were seconds away from shattering. You were suspended in mid air the moment before the crash, aware of the impending breakdown you would surely endure, but taking the moment of calm before the storm.

The water was warm, but you felt warmer. Your fingers running through his hair and the sound of your breathing was almost enough to lull him to sleep. The wonderful smell of your shampoo, stronger at the source, wrapped him in a blanket of comfort as you washed away blood and grime from his skin and hair.

"Don't you ever try that again," you whispered. Your voice shook as you spoke. It made him feel guilty.

"I'm sorry," he responded. You both knew he couldn't promise that.

So you took the apology. It wasn't the first time he'd done something so idiotic. For someone who was so intelligent, he made the stupidest mistakes. It definitely wouldn't be the last.

"For once, I get why you hoard bandages," you muttered as you followed the instructions Yosano had given you, along with Dazai's little comments on how tight it was, what felt strange, or how to layer the bandage properly so it didn't come off.

He'd made another joke after that. You had huffed out a little laugh, but it brightened his mood considerably. You were starting to feel better.

Instead of talking about his scars, he asked about yours. "That one on your shoulder, how did you get it? And the one on your arm, wasn't that from a job he'd been on with you? What about this, here?" He asked. It distracted him and got you talking. He cherished each word and listened to each story.

Finally, you finished reapplying his bandages, and he'd run out of questions to ask. You sat on your knees in front of him, and he realized he hadn't stopped your fall.

A tear fell down your cheek, then another. You bit your lip, trying to force the sobs back down. You shook, the force of your own emotions too strong to deny.

He hesitated to reach for you. You'd never cried in front of him before. Even with the years you'd spend at his side, he'd never seen what happened once you reached the safety of your bedroom and allowed yourself to not have to be strong.

His fingers brushed against your cheek. His arm wrapped around your shoulders. He pulled you close and buried his face into your hair. He wouldn't watch, he promised. He was here.

You choked out insult after insult, your words catching in your throat. They hardly stinged with the usual harshness you threw at him. They rolled off his back like water droplets as he hugged you tight.

"I'm sorry," he said again. This time it held more than the apology. You wrapped your arms around him in return. He let you cry until you had nothing left in you.

He accompanied you to your kitchen, where you downed a glass of water and fed him a meal. He'd always liked it when you cooked for him, but this felt more special than usual. There was more heart in it.

He laid beside you as you fell asleep. Your eyes were still puffy and your face still red, but something about you was irresistible. He meant it when he called you beautiful.

"I love you too," you whispered as exhaustion pulled you under. He hadn't said it explicitly, but you'd heard. He loved you for that.

by @feeblescholarmyass on tumblr

comments and reblogs are much appreciated!

#🪻ash writes #dazai x reader #x reader #bsd x reader #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #bsd #dazai osamu bsd #dazai osamu x reader #osamu dazai bsd #osamu dazai x reader #scar mention #injury mention #bathing together

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 3 months

Note

104/150 with lethal company?

104) I can hear it calling my name

.........

[Y/n], January 29th, [Log 001]

---I'm afraid this will be my last log. So I'm keeping this encrypted.

Everyone's gone, but I'm still here. And I'm terrified. We started on this job as strangers, and we became family. Now I'm all alone because of a stupid mask. A piece of scrap we should've just sold off.

But he thought it would be funny to wear. I don't blame him. He was always a jokester, willing to do anything to turn a frown upside down and make light of our dreary trips. I know he didn't mean to hurt us. He thought it was harmless. Honest to god we thought so too.

Until he started vomiting blood and tried grabbing me. He tore off my helmet, along with my tracker, but I managed to get away. I still don't know how. But I wish I was smarter about it, because I got lost.

Then I heard the ship's engines.

They must've thought I was dead. Or maybe they all died and the autopilot kicked in. I'm not sure. I don't even know the current time. But what I do know is that I'm stuck here now. Possibly forever. I could make an SOS but that monster is still outside. I had to barricade myself in this storage room and wait until it goes away.

It keeps knocking. I can hear it calling my name. But I know it's not him.

To anyone who reads this, don't pick up the porcelain masks. They aren't worth shit. It'll tempt you to put it on. Don't. You'll find better loot elsewhere. If you see anyone already wearing it, kill them. Stun them. Run. Whatever. Just don't let it take you.

And if you see me wearing it, put me out of my misery. I promise I'll understand---

Finishing what would likely be your final log, you sighed and slumped back against the wall, letting the tablet slip from your hands.

You don't know how long you've been stuck here--whether it's been hours or days.

But all you know is that the Masked on the other side of the door hasn't left. It was using your coworker's corpse, mimicking his voice as it pounded on the steel and tried convincing you to let it in, even shattering the window. For some reason it refused to leave you alone, and kept begging and begging until it began screaming unintelligently...

That would go on and on until eventually it would cease, weakly clawing at the door, only to rinse and repeat once it rested its voice.

You were starving, trying your best to ration the jar of pickles you were luckily able to find in this storage room.

Unfortunately, that's as far as your luck will go at this point. They were sour and made you want to vomit every time you ate one. But while you didn't want starvation to take your life, you weren't exactly sure how you really wanted to go out instead.

It sure as hell wasn't gonna be from that bastard who took away your friends.

"It's clear....all clear......come on out....the ship is leaving..leave....out.....COME OUT..!! COME OUT!! COMEOUTCOMEOUT-!!"

With your heart hammering in your chest, you curled up and covered your ears, squeezing both eyes shut. 'Fuck, it's losing its mind again...this is a nightmare..why did I ever take this job?' You tried not to focus on the screams so much, and instead prayed for some kind of miracle.

But in space, would anyone really hear your prayers?

Yet somebody must have, because the screaming abruptly stopped a minute later, being replaced by the sounds of heavy thumping and growling drawing near.

You only knew one other alien creature that made those.

And you knew it was pissed off.

Getting up and backing away from the door, you fearfully clutched a stop sign as you heard a series of terrified shrieks, roars, slamming and crashing sounds....before silence followed, save for the low growls you heard earlier and chewing noises.

Cautiously, you went back over and pushed aside one of the things covering up the window, and the sight on the other side was quite nauseating:

The Thumper was hovering over the Masked's body, teeth covered in blood and flesh as it tore into it, clearly wanting to savor this midnight snack.. But eventually it decided to drag the rest of the corpse away and to another part of the facility, only leaving behind a few shattered fragments of white dirty porcelain.

You couldn't believe it.

You were actually happy that a Thumper, of all things, saved your skin.

But you sure as hell didn't want it coming back for a second lunch. Now was your window of opportunity to get out of here. The adrenaline pumping through your veins was the only reason you were able to grab your loot and book it out of that storage room, being careful not to run into that Thumper again.

At least now you could go outside and (hopefully) send an S.O.S.

#saw this an immediately thought of the masked/mimics #clanask #lethal company x reader #lc x reader #lethal company masked #lethal company thumper #angst/horror prompt

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solarrclxud · 6 months

Text

MAYBE IN ANOTHER LIFE

summary : this is goodbye my love. maybe in another life.

pairing : modern! wriothesley x reader (she/her pronouns used)

genre: angst (i tried) . modern au

warnings : not proofread , melancholy-ness . wriothesley smokes. 1 mention of cigs and a lighter.

a/n: idk what this is either babe .... its lil sad tho. kinda inspired by my own weird yearny feelings.

" We were so bad it weren't we" , she said , smiling and gazing up at the stars . A melancholy chuckle left his lips " Yeah...we were."

"I wish i would have said something." "I wish i could have too " Wriothesley said , clicking the lighter in an absentminded attempt to light a cigarette. She looked over at him . " Sometimes", he continued" I wish i would have told you , how i felt. Maybe if i had just told you .. we could have tried to work it out you know?" .

The cigarette lit , he watched the flames smolder slightly , dusting of the ash and lifting it to him lips . They stayed silent after that for a while. The music from the party was muffled by the balcony door , incoherent lyrics and bass vibrations filtered through the gap under it.

"Maybe" , she whispered . If it had been any louder Wriothesley wouldn't have heard it . But he hummed , urging her to continue ." Maybe it would have worked. wouldn't it have been wonderful?" .

He remained silent , thinking of what to say. He didn't know if he should tell her . The words on the tip of his tongue. Wriothesley longed to fill the silence between then as he looked at her .

" Maybe if we had more time.." He said . i still love you...after all this time is what he meant to say. They made no sound, as if afraid to shatter the precious moment. He though it would be stupid to ask her to love him again now. Years have passed , her hair is different , but so is his . But did that really matter?

He looked over to her , himchest heavy , i dont know what i had intended to say . They made no sound, as if afraid to shatter the precious moment. Her eyes were glossy as she leaned on the balcony .

She looked back at him and smiled. Oh that smile. It was as beautiful as he remebered , even though this time there was a melancholy tone to it. He smiled back and we both turned to the stars again. The smiles felt like an apology in a way . For both of their yearning and pain. A bandaid for and a candy after a doctors visit.

Wriothesley gazed at the moon . He sometimes feel like He was always meant to love her. Because if He wasn't , what was the purpose of this love to be there in him heart for the last 4 years?

The vines of nostalgia snaking around his heart , gripping it and squeezing like his blood itself ran through them. Maybe it did . Some nights his love for her overcame all else as he lay in bed and thought of all the " ifs" .

She too watched the moon . Thinking of her own nights, the ones she spent wondering what would have happened if she had said something before it was too late. It had been years. She always knew there was no point in hoping .

A part of them both reached out for the other , neither uttering a word in fear that they were the only one yearning . Deep inside their chest their hearts clenched . As if wishing. For things to go back to the way they were. But it wont happen today.

She shifted slightly on that balcony to be closer to him , their hands touched . The electricity of the touch ran through their veins as it they had been hit by lightning .

It means nothing they thought .

They only want comfort thats all .

The song in the background shifted to a softer more romantic one . The sound of angry boooos followed . She laughed . Moving away from him reluctantly and breaking their bubble . "We should get back" she said , the air felt thick , it refused to fill their lungs as they looked at eachother for the last time . She smiled and he smiled back. A last goodbye . A last apology. An i love you of sorts .

"Yeah, we should" .

Maybe in another life.

thank you !

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tillthelandslide · 10 months

Text

Go Get Your Man - Ross Macdonald One Shot

A/n: welcome to something that randomly got stuck in my head after watching that Livestream... Now I'm not going to talk about Finsbury too much because it hurts too much because I really wanted to be there but the tickets should out in like seconds.... Buttttt I wrote this (not to do with Finsbury but that show just had ideas boiling, mainly because I realised I love Matty but like NEEEED Ross). I mainly wrote this as it perfectly describes how I feel about Matty and Ross. Anyway rant over, enjoy or not. Love you regardless - L p.s I have not proofread this so heads up

The house is loud, far too loud for her liking and despite the demands from her friend for people to smoke outside, a cloud drifted through the room, smoke visible in the air. The music was still audible over the voices of everyone in the room.

She's sporting the same glass of champagne as when she arrived, constantly being pulled left right and centre by people who wanted to talk to her.

The party was thrown on her behalf by her good friend Amber. They were celebrating the release of her new album (which she found a bit silly considering Japanese house had just released their own album too).

She was insistent at first "why can't we celebrate you too amber?" She asks and she remembers the eye roll her friend gave her before she went on about how "you know id hate that... That's not me... Besides I want to celebrate you".

She was worried at first when she arrived, knowing a certain someone would be here. She wasn't worried about seeing him, more worried about what he would say, afraid of upsetting him or making him angry.

She felt overwhelmed at one point, excusing herself from the conversation and walking outside, lighting a cigarette as soon as she steps through the doors.

"Still smoking I see?" She hears behind her, recognising the voice and almost immediately turning around and seeing a tall man, hair tied back in a bun, adorning a pair of black slacks, a black button up shirt, of which the top two were undone and a jacket.

"Ross... You came" she says, smiling a huge wide smile. She drops her cigarette instantly, walking over to the tall man, wrapping her arms around him and sighing into his chest.

"Wouldn't miss celebrating you for the world" he says, smiling a wide one which matches his. He missed having her in his arms. Now I know what you're probably thinking, but they were not in fact together. She pulls back, smiling up at him before her face drops.

"Weren't you guys at Finsbury... Like literally yesterday... And then Sweden before that?" She asks and he nods down at her.

"You must be shattered..." He doesn't let go of her just yet, still holding her in his arms.

"As I said... Wouldn't miss celebrating you for the world" he says, making her heart flutter, her eyes glinting with sheer happiness.

"sorry I wasn't there yesterday... I wanted to be... To support you... And g... And Hann and amber and everyone... Just didn't know if I'd be welcomed you know?" She asks and Ross nods, understanding completely.

"He would've been fine y'know?" Ross asks, the pin finally dropping.

"Really? I haven't seen him... At all to be honest since everything went down" she says and Ross sighs.

"You didn't do anything wrong..." He says and she nods.

"I know... But... We broke up a long time ago but... I promised I'd still see him and then I didn't... And then I still saw you and G and the rest and .... I dunno, just kind felt like a bitch" she admits and Ross nods.

"Well he came tonight... So you can't be that much of a bitch" he says and she laughs.

"oh thanks" she jokes making him chuckle. They finally pull away from each other (much to his dismay).

Ross' hand presses against her lower back, leading her back into the room and she immediately spots him, his curls tamed by gel, dressed in black suit trousers and a white button down shirt, standing with their friends. George smiles and waves at her as she sees her, drawing Matty's attention to her too. She's surprised to see that he smiles widely too, the conversation the group were having, immediately halted.

"There's the woman we've all been waiting for" George says as she draws closer. Ross' hand drops and she feels sad that it does, it leaves a tingly sensation in it's wake and that alone makes her breath falter and her head turn to check he was still there.

"Hello G" she says as she turns back to the group, the tall man pulling her into a tight hug.

"Oh I missed you" he says, squeezing her, her face being squished into his chest. She mumbles a "missed you too" before they pull away.

Hann is next to hug her saying a simple "really good to see you. Missed you. Congrats on the album" before Carly hugs her and then Charli and then she's face to face with Matty.

"Hello stranger" he says, but she smiles when there's no sense of bitterness in his words. He pulls her towards him and the two hug tightly. She thought it would feel weird to be in his embrace again but she just feels comfortable.

"Missed you" he admits and she smiles, closing her eyes she breathes him in for the first time in years.

"Yeah... Missed you too" she admits. They pull away and she feels herself get teary.

"seriously guys you really didn't have to come... You must all be so tired" she says, referring to the events of the previous days.

"We wouldn't miss it" she hears Matty say and she smiles at him. The group then get talking, catching up on everything that had been going on in each other lives. Of course she knew about parts of it, having still been seeing the guys and their partners when she could.

She goes for another cigarette at some point, leaning against the balcony, she hears the door open behind her and once again Ross is at her side.

"You look beautiful tonight by the way" he says as he stands next to her, placing a hand at her lower back again. She turns her body slightly so she's open to him, her waist pressing against his side.

"Thank you Macdonald..." She adorns a black dress which has a criss cross back and a cowl neck front, she wears boots as always. His hand is pressed against the crosses, the warmth of it radiating her bare skin making her shiver, realising how cold she was. His hand disappears for a moment and he shrugs off his jacket, draping it over her shoulders. She leans her head into him, which with the height difference leaves her leaning against his arm.

"Really missed you, you know" he says and she lifts her head slightly, eyes finding his soft brown ones. She sees immediately that he's sincere.

During the time Matty and her dated, her and Ross became very close, the closest out of any of Matty's friends, which was saying something because they all adored her. Ross was her go to person when Matty was being a bit mean or withdrawn. Looking back everyone is aware of why that was but at the time no one quite understood.

Ross found himself often angry at his friend for treating her the way he did, he knew Matty was fighting his own demons but Ross believed she deserved better, better than even he could give her.

"I really missed you too... When was the last time we saw each other... Seems like ages ago now" she says, trying to think back to when it was.

"the week of the London show? We went for ice cream and looked in that hidden record shop" he says and she smiles at the memory.

"oh yeah, you bought my album... 4 months is an awfully long time to go without you macdonald" she says and he smiles down at her.

"Won't happen again, I promise" she feels hopeful at that.

They then begin talking about all sorts, laughing at old memories. She jokes with him and teases him about this and that.

"The ross girlies were going absolutely feral for you yesterday... Finally giving them what they wanted when you let that hair loose" she says, they had somehow gotten even closer, her back was against the railing of the balcony and he had his hands either side of her. Her hands were resting against his collar. They didn't know how they got themselves into this position and she wishes she could pull herself away from it, not because she wanted to but because she felt guilty. He was her ex boyfriend's best friend, but he was also more than that, he was her best friend too, her go to person, her safety net, her comfort blanket, the person who in recent years had been the reson her soul was alight and she secretly wanted him to become ever more.

"You're ridiculous" he laughs, shaking his head down at her.

"Dunno Ross... I'd have to agree with them on this one... You looked good" she admits and he smirks down at her, one hand leaving the balcony to rest against her waist. His eyes scan her features, a shit eating smile pulling at his lips, cheeks and eyes creasing and the dimple she had missed a little too much making an appearance.

"I'm interested in you" he admits, and her smile drops. She scans his features now, trying to make sure he was deadly serious. She thinks it's an odd way to word it but it's appropriate for the circumstances. Saying he liked her would be too obvious, saying he loved her (although the truth) would be telling too much too soon and he truly couldn't think of another way to say it.

"Ross... We can't" she says, hands dropping from his collar , her stomach and heart sinking.

"Matty knows...." He says, the words leaving his mouth before he even had time to process them.

"Know what exactly? What is there to know?" She asks and it was a genuine question. Sure they flirted, spoke for hours on end after shoes, shared things that couples shared but neither of them had made their intentions obvious or clear.

"That I like you... That I've always liked you" he admits and she opens her mouth at the confession,lost for words for a second.

"liked you before he did... Before you even got together" he says. Amber had known Matty for years and she had introduced her to the group several years ago, she then became friends with the group so this piece of news was particularly shocking for her.

Matty was always flirty but at the beginning they were just friends, she did actually fancy Ross but she didn't think he liked her back. Matty started showing interest and she found herself falling for him, one thing led to another and they started dating. Never did she know that Ross had a thing for her.

"And Matty knew that?" She asks and Ross nods.

"That prick" she chuckles, hands finding his shoulders again.

"Yeah what a prick..." Ross says making both of them laugh "Na I'm joking... Wouldn't have changed anything if he didn't try with you and would you have wanted it to?" He asks and she ponders his question.

"Na you're right... I loved him" she says, no sadness, no reminiscence to her words, just the truth.

"Exactly..." Ross says.

"I did fancy you though" she says and he laughs.

"Fuck off... As if" he says, pulling away slightly before she pulls him back.

"I did!" She says raising her eyebrows at him "ask Amber if you don't believe me"

"Na I don't need to... I believe you" he says and they stare at each other for a bit, neither knowing what to say or do.

"Always wondered why it didn't work out with Matty.... Don't get me wrong, it was amazing, I loved that man so much... something always felt off though" she admits and Ross nods.

"Matty said the same thing... Sorry if that's a dick thing to say" he says and she shakes her head.

"Na don't worry... He told me" she says and that makes Ross raise his eyebrows.

"He called me once, last year... Drunk... Said he was sorry that he couldn't love me the way I deserved back then but he did love me... Said that it never felt quite right and that I was meant for someone else" she explains and Ross nods.

"So Matty knows you like me huh?" She asks and Ross nods.

"How did that conversation come about?" She asks and Ross chuckles, sighs and then begins to speak.

"Remember that night you called me on tour... Think we were in... America? Somewhere in America. You called and you just started singing these lyrics and i was thinking... Why is she calling me and singing? And then I realised that you were running the lyrics by me and I thought... You know what? I always wanna be the person you run lyrics by" he admits and she smiles at that, heart fluttering.

"I got off the phone to you and we were about to go on stage and I had this huge smile on my face... And Matty knew we were still friends at this point but he asked me why I was smiling so much and for some reason I couldn't tell him" he sighs, her grip on his shoulders tightens slightly before she eases her hold.

"And then this really good mood was just ruined and I was in a shit mood the whole show and then the next day and I was being so grumpy and tetchy with everyone and Matty just sat me down at one point and was just like man what the fuck is up with you and I just... I spilled. Everything" he explains. She could listen to him talk for hours and often did. He'd call her on tour or she's call him on the road or in a studio somewhere and they'd talk for hours until eventually they'd have to go to bed.

"What did Matty say?" She asks, but as she does, the door is opening and Ambers face is peering round the corner.

"sorry to interrupt... We want you back in here if that's okay... Your manager wants to say a few words" she says, not before raising her eyebrows at the two of them. Ross peels himself away from her, entering to room, leaving amber and her on the balcony.

"You look good together" Amber says before she leaves too.

She sighs before following behind them, everyone in the room cheers as she enters and her manager does a speech, everyone raising their glasses.

"Thank you... And don't forget to stream the album" she says making everyone laugh.

She drinks with a few of her friends, eyes always managing to find Ross'. She's back on the balcony soon enough, this time the door opens and Matty is revealed.

"You've been out here a lot today" he observes as he comes to stand next to her and she nods.

"Feeling a bit overwhelmed?" He asks and she nods again, taking a puff of her cigarette.

"But also look at that view" she says, gesturing Infront of her. They can see most of London from where they stand, the lights twinkling as the sun sets, casting hewes of orange and pink over the skyline.

"You always loved a good view" he says and she smiles at him. After all this time, he still managed to see right through her.

"I did... I do, that hasn't changed" She says, looking back out over the skyline. His eyes hover over her features, her eyes, the beautiful green ones that used to make his heart flutter were glistening in the sunlight, her lips turned up into a smile, painted a nude colour, different from when they were together. Her hair was longer and was in loose curls, she had her nose pierced now, that was new. She had a fair new more tattoos, and he smiles as he slots her box tattoo, directly opposite his. He remembers the day the band begged her to get it. She had changed in some ways: she was more confident, happier. But in some ways she was exactly the same.

"You look lovely" he says and she smiles, not look at him.

"I'm really proud of you" he says, noticing that she's wearing Ross' jacket, something that makes him smile.

"Thank you matty... I'm proud of you too, you guys are smashing it still"

They're silent for a few moments, the both of them staring at the view.

"So Ross tells me he had a thing for me before you" she says, thinking it's better to just come out with it rather than tip toe around it.

"Yeah... Still feel awful for that... Didn't mean for it to happen... You kind of just captivated me" he admits and she can't help but blush. Matty always had a way with words and although they don't make her heart flutter anymore, she still feels privileged that they're directed towards her.

"Wouldn't change it though right?" She asks, properly looking at him now. His hair had sprouted some grey's and he looked more mature than when they were together but he was still the same old Matty.

"Never" he says and it makes her smile.

"Only thing I'd change is the way I treated you..." He says, fiddling with his thumbs.

"I wouldn't" she admits and it confuses him.

"You were an arsehole sometimes sure.... But you were also the best boyfriend I had ever had... I broke up with you not because of the way you treated me when you were going through hell but because it wasn't right... For either of us" she admits and he nods agreeing with her.

"Think Ross is right for you?" He asks and she shrugs.

"I don't know... But I want to see" she says "would you be alright with that? Won't hate me for it?" She asks, turning her body so she's fully facing him. She looks sad and scared she'll hurt him and it reminds him of the days when they used to fight.

"Of course not. Could never hate you' he says and he can't help but pull her towards him.

"I think he's right for you... That man will love you exactly the way you deserve that's for sure" he says as he hugs her. She pulls back to look at him and her hand finds his face. It doesn't tingle like it used to, electricity doesn't strike as she holds him, her hand is soft and instead he feels a dull buzz, not completely fizzled out (both of them knew it never fully would). He can't deny it feels nostalgic and comfortable though.

"Thank you Matty. Really... Thank you" she says and he smiles.

"I'll always love you. You know that right?" He asks and she nods. She would always love him too, not in the way they once did, but they'd always have a piece of there souls entertwined.

"Now go get your man" he says making her chuckle. They share a look and Matty leans down to place a gentle kiss against her lips. A farewell, a thank you, an "Ive missed you", a platonic kiss. They wouldn't ever be able to describe why they needed it, maybe it was years of not seeing each other, maybe it was closure.

She leaves him to finish his cigarette, a huge smile resting against her face as she finds Ross, who smiles down at her as she comes to stand next to him.

His hand finds her waist as she tugs him towards her, making him tumble into her hold.

"You okay?" He asks and she nods. The people who he was having a conversation with were looking at the pair of them, almost expecting something to happen.

"Kiss me" she says and he smirks down at her.

"Right here? In front of everyone?" He asks, looking around the room, but he knew as soon as she said, he'd be leaning down to her.

"right here" she confirms, sighing a blissful sigh when his strong hand grasps her jaw lightly, leaning down towards her slowly. His lips hover over hers and she closes the gap by standing on her tip toes ,lips now flush against each other. His were soft and full against hers, the kiss was firm but undeniably soft, she felt him against every fiber of her being. The whole room seemed to be silent and all she could focus on was him.

She didn't notice their friends cheering them on, or the fact Matty was smiling at the two of them. She just felt Ross pull her closer to him, his hand holding her face gently as his other hand hooked around her waist, practically pulling her off the ground. She notices the way his lips move against hers, taking in her bottom lip, tongue peeking out to run across it before he's fully pulling away, their foreheads touching.

"I've been wanting to do that ever since I met you" Ross says, pressing another peck against her mouth.

"Me too"

"What changed?" He asks and she pulls away, turning to find Matty. Ross sees him, sees the way he smiles at them, raising his glass towards them.

"Thank you" Ross mouths to him before she turns back to him and she's caught his attention again.

"What did he say?" Ross asks and she smiles.

"Nothing I didn't already know" she says, pulling him back to her, their lips meeting again in another passionate kiss.

Note: I'm well aware this will probably get 0 notes but I dunno... This fic makes my soul happy and I love it so please reblog if you love it too, it would mean the world to me.

#ross macdonald #ross macdonald x oc #ross macdonald x reader #ross macdonald fanfiction #ross macdonald fanfic #the 1975 fanfic #matty healy #the 1975 #george daniel #adam hann #the 1975 fan fiction

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thefiery-phoenix · 9 months

Text

YANDERE VILLAIN DEKU X READER

You were a 5 year old cute adorable shy little girl but wasn't afraid to protect your loved ones. You were going to the playground to practice using your quirk which by the way, was Nuclear Explosion. you were about to play on the swing and just then, you saw a certain green broccoli haired boy getting bullied by a loud angry ash blonde who suspiciously, looked like a rat or a hedgehog on crack

''Face it Deku! I'm better than you and you're just a quirkless pathetic waste of space who will NEVER surpass me and don't waste your time aiming to be a hero'' snarled the blonde as the green haired kid looked like as if he was about to cry. The blonde haired boy pushed him and he fell and that's what made your blood boil in anger.

''Hey! Stop bullying him you big meanie!'' you yelled and stuck your tongue at him. ''What did you say to me you damn extra?'' shouted the blonde kid. You fired your nuclear explosions at him and his 3 goons and they left in a hurry after that. "I'll get you for this you damn extra, whatever the hell your name is!'' he shouted. ''I have a NAME and it's Y/N you big moron!'' You helped the green haired kid get up and he had some tears in his eyes and was clutching an all might figurine, someone who you were fond of as well

''Are you all right?'' you asked the green haired kid as he nodded and stuttered that he was fine. He introduced himself as Izuku Midoriya and the blonde who bullied him was Kaachan or Katsuki bakugou. ''Come on, I'll help you clean up, you have a pretty big bruise there on your knee'' and led him towards a park bench. You patched it up with a band-aid as Izuku saw your tiny soft magical hands at work. He turned red whenever you touched him and his face was becoming flushed and his heart beat faster than ever. ''Are you okay? Do you have a fever?'' you asked him and touched his forehead and he shook his head vigorously. You both became best friends after that and you stood up for him whenever Katsuki bullied him. Little did you know, even Katsuki had grown feelings towards you. Fast forward to where you guys are in middle school cuz, I'm too lazy (lol)

Izuku's POV: Here I am, waiting for Y/N chan in front of her house so we can go to school together. I really LOVE and enjoy having her around. She always helps me when Kaachan bullies me and she's really kind and caring. But... why does my chest hurt so much when she talks to other people and gives them her attention? I hate it when Y/N spends her precious time with someone else.... They don't deserve her. They don't deserve her attention. I wish I could be strong so I could protect her just like a knight in shining armor and all that.

''Izuku!'' chirped a cheerful and yet soft female voice snapping me out of my thoughts. It was Y/N looking at me with her beautiful eyes. "Shall we get going?'' she asked me. "S-sure'' I stuttered. We were on the way to our middle school and we witnessed a fight between our idol All Might and a villain. ''Oh my gods, LOOK!'' gasped Y/N and clutched my arm looking nervous. Of course, I turned pink but she didn't see it, thank goodness. We were watching the fight and finally All Might won. I wanted to talk to him and I asked Y/N to go on without me even though I was reluctant to leave her alone. I didn't want anything bad to happen to her but..... I needed to talk to All Might alone. "All Might, do-d- do you think I could still become a hero without a quirk?'' and when All Might gave me his answer, it shattered my heart into a million pieces. He said I couldn't be a hero without a quirk and I was devastated! All my hopes and dreams crushed within less than a second! I went to school feeling like garbage since that's exactly how I felt right now. Maybe Kaachan was right..... maybe I shouldn't be a hero..... I'm just a pathetic quirkless nobody. I went to school and when our homeroom teacher announced that me, Y/N and Kaachan wanted to get into the UA, people started snickering at us. Well, at me mostly. Y/N asked them to shut up and then got into a heated argument with Katsuki and finally ended up in detention, along with him. I have to admit, Y/N gotten bolder and it's really cute and adorable.

But I wasn't going to let MY darling Y/N chan be ALONE with Kaachan for an ENTIRE hour. Who knows what he's going to do to her? So, in order for her not to be lonely and to keep an eye on Kaachan to make sure he doesn't try anything with my puppy, I NEED to get detention too. So, I purposefully looked like as if I wasn't paying attention to the teacher and what do you know? I got detention as well....

The bell finally rang and soon, it was time for detention. Y/N headed out and told me she'd wait for me at the detention room. I was about to follow her when Kaachan pulled me back by my collar and hissed, ''Stay the HELL away from Y/N. She's MINE and I LOVE her, you understand, you DAMN nerd?'' and burned my wrists a little. ''Kaachan stop it, I love her too'' I said and that's how burns decorated my body yet again. ''Just stay away from her and why not take a swan dive off a roof? If you're lucky you'll wake up with a quirk in your NEXT life'' and burned my hero analysis notebook to ash. Y/N chan comforted me during detention and swore that she'd pulverize him to death but I shook my head. Soon, it was time for us to go home but I didn't go home. No. I went somewhere and met someone who changed my life forever and made me see things in a different perspective..... That day had completely changed me and no doubt, my darling Y/N chan would certainly have tears in her eyes but I'll wipe them off and comfort her.... After all... I'm the ONLY one she needs.....

Y/N's POV: It' been 2 years since my best friend Izuku went missing. I never liked calling him 'Deku' since it meant useless and it was given to him by that hot headed hedgehog Katsuki. I swore to myself that I'd gain my pro hero licence and the second I do, I would do WHATEVER I could to find him and get him back. His mother was out of her mind with worry every single day and I would comfort her before going to the UA, the most prestigious school in Japan for upcoming heroes. Unfortunately, even Kaachan got in too. I went to Mrs. Midoriya's house and comforted her and went to the UA. Seeing the building always made me have glistening tears in my eyes since it was our dream to be in the UA together and now.... that was all just a mirage. I made my way to class 1a and while Katsuki was glad that Izuku didn't come to the UA, I told him to shut up. ''This all your fault. You always used to bully him and its because of you he's.... he's gone'' I said angrily as Katsuki replied, ''Tch... why do you even care about that quirkless nerd?'' ''He was my FRIEND!'' I shouted and by now, everyone in class 1a turned to stare at us but I didn't care

Classes dragged on as usual and when we went to the grounds for hero training, we heard the school's security's alarms blaring loudly. ''Quick! Everyone, stay in the classrooms! The pro heroes will ensure you're safe! There are villains attacking!'' yelled Present Mic over the speakers and just as we were about to make a run for it, a purple portal opened up in front of us and out came a buff well built looking guy with a green mask, with a blue haired crusty looking person and a blonde haired girl wearing a school uniform

The green haired guy removed his mask and I recognized his freckles along with his emerald eyes and his green hair. Slowly it was starting to hit me.... Izuku, my dear friend was a.... villain!!??

''Izuku?'' I whispered and looked shocked as hell and so did Katsuki. "What the HELL you DAMN nerd?'' ''Ah.... an old reunion among childhood friends. How sweet'' said Izuku smiling sickly. ''Stay back'' threatened Aizawa. '' Izuku, why did you become a.... a villain?'' I asked him with tears in my eyes. '' Ah... my darling Y/N chan. Sweetheart, who wouldn't become one after they've been let down by their idol and on top of that being bullied for being quirkless? That arrogant ego filled jerk KATSUKI bullied me till NO ENDS!! And heck! Even my own MOM gave up on me after she found out I was quirkless! But Y/N... you were the only one who gave me hope.... You made me happy, you always supported me, cheered me on.... Join me Y/N... Join me and I'll make sure to treat you like the princess that you deserve to be treated. To hell with this corrupted tainted hero society!'' he roared but I shook my head and ran away from him. ''Y/N chan, love, You can't escape me~'' and released some purple fog all around us. Then, I felt something hit my head and pretty soon, the only only thing I could sense was people yelling and shouting as my consciousness slowly drifted.....

3rd Person POV: You woke up on a surprisingly comfortable bed but your hands were chained to the bed's headboard. You started hollering through your gag, making muffled noises. Soon a blue haired man and your friend Izuku appeared. ''Ask you girlfriend to join us or die.'' said the crusty looking man, as he removed your gag and you yelled, "I'm NEVER joining the LOV! Izuku, this ISN'T YOU! Why are you doing this!? How could you?'' you screamed at him with tears in your eyes. You couldn't use your quirk since he had placed a quirk canceling collar on you

He unchained you and rubbed your back in a somewhat soothing manner, waiting for you to calm down. ''Do... do you have any idea how WORRIED your mom was'' you asked him, as he quickly kissed you on your lips in order to shut you up. You tried fighting him, but gave in to him in the end. He broke the kiss and cuddled you and whispered hoarsely.... '' I love you Y/N my precious doll.... your MINE and ONLY MINE, no one else's..... And you will learn to love me at some point.....

BONUS SCENE: Toga: Uhh.... Dabi, you Do realize that if you're planning to flirt with Y/N Deku's gonna murder you, right?

Dabi: Yeah you stab queen, I figured that out, but I'm not going to lie, she was pretty good looking

Shigaraki: You're all idiots.

Izuku: What. the HELL. did you say about MY Y/N??

Dabi: Uhhh....n-nothing. She's absolutely PERFECT for you and she's like my little sister. (Chuckles nervously)

Izuku: (smiles in a way no creepy serial psychotic serial killer would) Good to know.

P.S: This convo takes place AFTER you're nicely sleeping on DEKU's bed, END OF STORY

#yandere bnha #yandere bnha x reader #yandere deku #yandere deku x reader #yandere villain deku x reader #yandere villain deku #yandere villain deku scenarios #yandere villain deku oneshots #yandere villain deku imagines #yandere villain deku headcanons #yandere izuku midoriya x reader #yandere izuku midoriya

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