I just saw your post about the difference between passive and swan. I'd like to ask the difference between young swad and dream?

shittier doodle this time cuz Im getting tired but the ramblings are probably more unhinged

I dont have particularly strong feelings on dream so this is gonna be mostly younger swad and comparisons to dream when needed

-Views social interaction as inherently transactional and as a game that he can learn to play (he doesnt realise that in the village he was never going to be a player on equal ground, this is why after his ascension his persona is more deity ified rather than a king or smth like nm cuz he wants to be Above it all and in control.)

-Been obsessed with swan even as passives (His Duty to help people got drilled into him, the village feels entitled to his help and swad slowly grows tired of them, but his little brother is always kind to him and doing things for him feels so much more rewarding [tho eventually the village tries to stifle any attempts swad does to get something nice for his brother which frustrates swad so much and swan not asking for anything and just being happy to see him and trying so hard just to make swad happy, even as hes hurt fuels this.] so the mix of the sense of duty, him being the older brother so self imposing a sense of responsibility and swan being nice to him leads him to adopt a mentality where Swan is the only one whos special and actually cares about him not just what he can do for him, but with the way hes raised by the village he tries desperately to try and do something for swan in return cuz he still feels like hes failing in his part of the social bargain)

-Also the cult village placed sooooo much value on stuff like never being angry, always being happy :), youre not allowed to be mean, you Must be hardworking all the time, visibly showing that youre sad is Evil. And swad seethes constantly cuz no one in this fucking village follows that and the one person who embodies all these values the most is swan (who everyone still hates for reasons inexplicable to swad, who believes theres still a way to get swan out of his outcast status if the village just realises that swan is the kindest soul in this rotten place.)

-Dream maintains a more "child" status in the village even as hes older than when swad fights to "adult" status, seeing it as a way to get more social power cuz he picked up that Adults have more power than Children but lol not for him, he just gets to have more responsibilites, the expectation to cut off swan and no money OR gifts for his work cuz gifts are for children doing chores not working adults and since its both swads duty and the fact that he doesnt have anything to spend it on that wouldnt be spending it unwisely they just dont pay him at all! and also hes an object not an adult to them so rushing to try and be an adult backfired miserably

-Swad loves listening to swan read stories to him, reallly wants to be the Prince who saves the damsel and sets his enemies on fire and he projects that persona

-Both he and dream were taken hunting I think, but dream didnt take to it (he had a knack for archery but as soon as he was told to turn that arrow on an innocent bunny he couldnt do it, his more "child" status helps him get out of it) swad was also aprehensive at first but since he places a lot of importance in being the Older Brother and being responsible (also he wants to kill people) so he shoots the bunny, he feels bad and cries about it to swan but he cant let go of the feeling, the smell of blood, the idea of that being someone who hurt swan

-in my head he killed people already lol (used the hunting trips as cover but his hit list is soooooo long and he gets less and less opportunity...)

-he loves shiny things so much but being materialistic and greedy is one of the sins, swan cant get him anything but he does press little flower ornaments for his brother and so much flower jewlery so that swad can roleplay being a prince.

-he hates everyone soooooooo much <3

Saw your most recent post on dhmis and tma and I've got opinions to say I believe Computers is an Eye episode because Colin's whole deal is stealing personal info and being smart but its not my strongest I see Jobs as a buried because while it doesn't involve much claustrophobia its more about harmful workplaces and overworking which ties in with the buried in a symbolic sense. I will argue so strongly Death is an End episode. The End is LITERALLY the fear of death smh. While I can see the argument its a Stranger because of Stain Edwards the theme of death is so strong that it isn't that relevant. I see Family as both Stranger and Corruption, Stranger because the whole episode feels very uncanny with the design of the family and set being a "real" place. It's also Corruption because the episode is about toxic family relations. I still cannot believe how you thought Friendship was originally a Vast episode. While I can see why you would assign it Lonely it's clearly a Corruption, it's literally about toxic friendships. Also bugs. Tbh i don't know what to assign to Transport my closest guess is Vast but my argument isn't very strong Electricity is a hard one, I don't think i can assign it to one entity. I think Electracey is a Extinction avatar because she's a robot and the "everything in the home will be plugged in and part of the electric family" line. I could see Charged Yellow being either Eye, Stranger or Extinction. Eye because he's want to find the truth and also green eyes, Stranger because Yellow gets replaced, and Extinction because he gets replaced using specifically technology. The power outage is probably Dark because darkness. Lesley is a Web avatar, I will fight you on this. She's controlling them, she's the literal puppet master. You said that Lesley isn't the main one pulling the string making her less Web aligned but I would argue that makes her MORE web aligned because she's knows she's not fully in control. I interpret becoming a web avatar as not only being manipulative, but accepting your lack of free will. As Annabelle said in 147, "let it never be said that I do not dance the steps I am assigned." Sorry this is long and probably sounds a little rude i just have very strong opinions on tma and dhmis have a lovely day

COmputer being eye was also on my first post but i removed it bc i didnt think it was part of the big Fear factor ? but the way you phrased it does make it work

jobs being buried makes sense too !! my main reason for it being spiral is just Duck calling everything out and then Also going weird ? and then going back to "this is all wrong" very strongly (also the episode is reminiscent of Sculptor's Tool to me with only duck pointing out how this is Odd)

death SHOULD be end ur right , i just didnt think anyone in dhmis seemed very scared of the Death there ? so i thought it wasnt very important but Yeah when you mention it its definitely end ty (Or desolation bc it also feels like . theyre more focused on the grief of losing someone n not the Fear of Death ? if that makes sense=? but i dont rly get the End and Desolation anyway so)

CORRUPTION FOR FAMILY IS SO RIGHT i think i considered corruption for it at one point but i second guessed myself enough to remove it again . and stranger never reallly seemed correct to me but it was the closest and i had no one to discuss with so i ran with it:sob:

IM SORRYY LSITEN OK i hadnt listened to tma in full when i made the first list. i just read the entities wiki page and heard season 5 ..!!!! honestly idk if i agree with corruption bc , while thats probably the deeper meaning of the episode (toxic friends) warren always seemed like just an autistic asshole to me so i never saw the whole . toxic thing ? and he never really actually seemed friends with any of them ?? yea taking advantage of their kindness but i wouldnt call it a toxic relationship bc there never Was a Relationship to me (probably factually wrong n im being ignorant here but its my list and blehh :P im biased towards warren) and im probably just forgetting something bc i havent rewatched it in a while but are there bugs besides warren (are worms bugs)?

transport i assigned Web bc red guy being like . aware of the whole They're Trapped There thing and trying to escape and Lonely bc they're trying to get to other people/ civilization/ community but are just . stuck ? and in some episodes the lonely just takes ppl to endless places that they cant leave (cul-de-sac is the only one i remember) and it just (again) reminded me of that

ELECTRICITY /SHOULLD/ be more than 1 or 2 very true but i just Really hate assigning more than 2 to these idk why ive set that rule for myself but it just feels wrong, disorderly and i dont like it . but yes i can see electracey being extinction (tbh i feel like teachers being avatars/ assinging them patrons/fears could be a whole other list itself) Charged Yellow being stranger i disagree. yes hes replaced but it feels more like . if s1 jon got replaced by s5 jon ? does that make sense ? I HAD DARK For this episode too bc the power outage but it didnt feel like a big fear factor here ? and i just didnt think it was significant enough (the dumb self-imposed rule) Lesley IS web coded i completely forgot annabelle for a second when i made this :sob: ive had too much michael on my mind and i thought being trapped wasnt enough of a theme here ? not like it was in Transport or like Dreams but yea it definitely should be Web

IM GLAD this is long i like hearing other ppls thoughts and input on this silly stuff (it did sound a little rude at times but dw i get it) I think at the end of the day the way we judge these is just Very different? Unless you disagree, i dont think the web series is this "up for debate" as the tv show is bc it just has . Less. There's maybe 3 lines at the start, then the teacher comes in and starts singing about what they embody, then the horrors and the end (only the last 3 episodes rly made me question which Power would be associated with them bc it kinda follows a plot so they could all a little be taken as web and lonely with red guy?) Theres just so many more ways the TV show can be interpreted. These could be judged on the Teacher, the Lesson, the thing that scares the characters, the thing that scares the Audience, symbolism/manifestations, etc. (i think i just went with whatever seemed the most relevant to me / what scared the characters ? but i was also being pretty inconsistent there lmao) i feel like there would probably have to be multiple lists or just one BIG list of everything that could count as one of the entities ? or maybe im blowing this out of proportion and its really simple for you, and only i struggled with this :,) either way it was fun ! and i think thats all that matters maybe the real dhmis tma entities assigning list were the friends we made along the way aww

 DAMNN. THIS SHIT LATE LATE THE LORE HAS BEEN OUT FOR LIKE MONTHS //sob//  but damn. IF IT AIN’T PURPLED AND PUNZ! he really is dream’s right hand man...claiming about how awful torture is one moment and then turning  around to “WOULDNT IT BE FUN THO>>> TO TORTURE QUACKITY???” LIKE DAMNNNN. also, all of those lines in black are taken directly from the last nevadas final lore stream! damnn i loved watching the two mercenaries start each other down like two rabid dogs. my god though punz...

but yea smh it was really hard to get designs down espiaclly for ARMOR OGHGH. I will talk about deisgn.  mostly. So after my revalation that there netherite armor doesnt actually have gauntlets, i said fuck that and decided that only certain people have gauntlets (people adept at fighting, or the richer members of the server). and also, see those different helments and details with armor! i’ve decided that every armor set someone wears is actually slightly different from the other!  also if you pay attention dream’s claws/gauntlets are like. unpractical to high hell? idk if thats should leave any implications or if i should just keep it as “omg cool design” but if i were to attach anything behind it, then c!dream is a fucking freak and enjoys the challenge. also he thinks it looks cool on him. other people would have a  lot more practical gaunlets/gloves though. maybe.

More on c!punz’s art, i don’t think it realy matches him but i already drew the expressions. i could imagine  his expressions to be ones that c!dream would make so its a happy coincidence in a way. i kinda wanted punz to look unhinged to a degree though considering how ‘heated’ up he was getting over c!dream being tortured. also i made his helment pointer to try and imitate horns but its kinda meh. i kept his little medal thing on the outside (cause damn it looked so plain otherwise) and helped to kinda identify him.

For c!purpled i really reallly wanted to draw his hair out (sorry punz, maybe another time) and his little suit! though with his apprehension //forgive me if im wrong i dont watch a lot of purpled/punz lore// i believed that purpled initally thought punz was hired by quackity to kill him. and with his little suit its all crinkly and wirnkled and the tie is becoming looser and hes just. disheveled. but hes still a fucking mercenary i gotta give him that respect. Also, with the purpled alien headcanon, i was like eh. but it was also kinda cool so i was like “wow what if the alien stuff wasn’t like. that obivous” so i put his antenas onto like the back fo his head (he has like 4 in total, 2 short farther up and w longer farther down) but i didnt want to draw all the antennas cause it would look awkward.also, you know those black “bags” under his eyes? those aren’t bags. the dark grey under his eyes are the bags. HELL YEA. I was looking at purpled’s avatar and i was like haha what if those black marks above is eyes were like actually part of his skin. and so here we are. //put them under his eyes instead cuase it looked better.// im also planning to make purpled’s eyes like. different and im planning to make it stick. art consistecy isnt my forte but im gonna keep purpled’s eyes in that shape and that color

Also wow, anime eyes! kinda. i just wanted to fill up the empty space and i was like “wow purpled has nice eyes its unfair that punz gets nothing” so here we are. when looking at punz’s pfp i noticed his like...eyelashes were thick so imma keep em thick. the man fuckign applies mascara or eyeliner or soemthing. also kinda cool contrast. 

they had the charlie brown christmas CD at the record store still so i got it :D was nice listening to it while wearing my comfy sweater ^_^ also bought a few other cds there a franz schubert one (trying hard to get myself to listen to more classical stuff and not just the french composers and like experimental stuff. the franz schubert is all piano works which is good cause sometimes with orchestras i get meh if its like so idk predicatable. like stravinsky was awesomea nd so is holsts the planets but like the typical classical orchestra stuff doesnt interest me. yet.. anyways i got that and also a henry mancini cd that has some of his score for pink panther and breakfast at tiffanys and some of his other films sorta like a greatest hits but like it has a good selection from each film and not just the most popular song. then what was interesting was these two LPs i got one vangelis beauborg whichi  had never heard of b4 so im excited to hear that and then a wendy carlos album i had never heard of b4 called by request. v strange album art compared to her other stuff but it also has a lil single that has some of her other album songs on it like stuff from sonic seasonings and switched on bach tho i already have both of those but still a reallly neat bonus and awesome it was included with the lp. the previous owner taped the 7inch sleeve on the back of the record so it wouldnt get lost. it covers the liner notes which is kinda unfortunate but doesnt really matter since im already well acquainted wiht wendy carlos but am also itnerested into what this will sound like cause i think it has some of her original works and non-moog stuff.

— aot boys with a witty/funny s/o

jean, armin, eren, levi, connie

jean

i feel like jean would thrive SO hard with a funny s/o

especially if you help him bully eren

DO NOT CALL HIM HORSEFACE

you will literally get the cold shoulder for a week

he’s a big baby </3

if y’all are in battle and everyone’s getting serious and shit and you scream

he’s like holy shit wtf????

turns out you just saw a really ugly titan

one of those mfs that looks like a deformed fly

yeah 😀

u just start roasting it

“jesus christ ur mom must’ve been ugly as FUCK”

“y/n they don’t have moms”

“neither do u eren, u wanna keep interrupting?”

run.

armin

i feel like he gets so proud of ur jokes

if u crack a good one and people laugh hes over here like 😊

yuuup that’s my s/o

with him it’s all about timing

if u crack jokes at bad times he’s not gonna like it very much

(help id probably piss him off cause of that)

big fan of dad/nerdy jokes

“why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?”

“idk, why”

“because then it would be a foot” :D

“marry me.”

eren

can take stuff

he probably isn’t gonna get offended

i think he has a pretty good sense of humor when he’s not being a rage monster

like armin it’s about timing

probably likes jokes about jean and titans

make fun of titans and homeboy will fall in love

call jean a horseface and he’ll fall even more

just help him be a bully ok :’)

his jokes are probably kinda bad

just don’t tell him that tho his ego will be bruised

levi

my man appreciates witty jokes

not so much for dad jokes but will deal w them for u 😔

i think he’d like a sarcastic s/o

to match him yk

bold and sassy jokes will get a chuckle out of him

he’s got a good sense of humor so you make him laugh a lot

the scouts are just like :o wtf

he’s gonna be mad if ur joking around during battle tho

>:(

bully hange w him pls <3 (lovingly ofc)

“i think four eyes wants to fuck a titan”

levi: *chuckles*

hange: “scientifically speaking that wouldnt even make since considering-.”

connie

THIS DUDE

being funny is a MUST

ur allowed to bully him a bit too

he’s gonna act all offended but he actually thinks it’s funny

you help him and sasha pull pranks on jean

y’all cannot be serious 🤚🏼

fr seek help there’s people dying

he likes ALL the jokes

laughs at anything

he REALLLY likes pranks tho

y’all tried to steal mikasa’s scarf once

it didn’t end well </3

you wrote him a letter while hiding from mikasa telling him that this was the end and that the scarf was kinda musty 🙅🏻‍♀️

a/n: might make one with the girls idk yet

send requests PLEASE

Like I guess I can somewhat understand his hypothesis but at the same time? It’s just a lot more than that? I don’t know. Like sure I guess I’ve suffered a lot of trauma but just I can’t. I didn’t want any of this bullshit. I didn’t fucking ask to be born.

Hey! Its thing >:)!

Its the thing i was teasing at in that post last night, and technically for like... four months? five? huh its been a bit since i second changed my url huh. Im not gonna go check or anything. If I were a bit more patient i wouldve waited for the archive collection become canon but im not. funfacterdroid is just more of my bran! Anyway! This post is my first impressions and opinions on each song on Back to the Egg! The Wings album i temporarily renamed myself after. (told ya i was gonna ramble wasnt i ydbfyufjd). It also happens to be the only wings album i havent listened to yet. And sure theres a bunch of singles and b-sides i havent listened to either, but this is the last one! I figured it should get some of its own treatment! I know that its gonna sound different to London Town and the two before it, cause McCulloch and English arent here. I’ve also heard that this album is bad and people called Paul a sellout because he transitioned to New Wave. New Wave is my favorite genre and I guess Wings werent ever that far from it? But they’re still a rock band at heart so i dont know how that change is going to fare. Enough introduction: Lets just go track by track! -Side One: Sunny Side Up-

Reception: Its just some radio garble, an instrumental meant to introduce the album. dont really have any opinions on it. Getting Closer: JAHBUDHSAUHJDHS WOAH WOAH WOAH!!! I didnt expect such a threatening title to be so upbeat. Like... opposite of Beware My Love. I do think its odd that there is barely any backup singing? Its not horrible just weird that this song, out of all the openers, doesnt. That outro is very much meant to be like a darker part of the song, like the dream sequence from A Day In The Life, but god dammit this song is just so upbeat! so weirdly cheerful and gentle! And... only 3 minutes? Rockshow and Jet were 4... eh those albums had a lot less songs, this one has 13 not counting Reception! Same as London Town, which i also really like! We’re Open Tonight: Oooohhh!! Very soft, I think I know what its about but when taken literally, to me it sounds like a quaint little shop trying to lure you in, sinisterly. I think the bass is making it sound evil to me, but thats a great thing! Clearly its trying to be like another I’m Carrying but that song fucking sucks!!!!!! I also really like how its only 1 minute, something so haunting about it. Not sure if thats positive or negative but the songs cool! Spin It On: hHEHEYEHY!! Getting Closer.... 2! kinda. Its much much faster and i can barely understand the words hes saying... or what hes spinning. The backing vocals are really cool though. the lyrics mention a pinball table? Y.. you know pinball doesn't spin right? it falls.... Questionable lyrics aside, theres really not a lot of SPEEDY Wings songs! Glad that one of the few is also extremely good!

Again and Again and Again: WOW OKAY! this is sung by denny, all of these songs start pretty fast unlike a good chunk of their past work, but i really like that! But it also means i cannot process a single thing denny is saying, i think he said something about a school? and being in a bad situation? ah whatever. Denny used to be in an R&B band and i really think thats going to work here! This isnt an exactly a Rhythm-y or Bluesey song, but He’s clearly having fun! thats why i love wings in general, its easy to tell that the band was having fun recording a song! Old Siam, Sir: A-hmm. Paul’s doing his squeaky voice again... I guess that can work sometimes but its absolutely not complimenting the piano in the background. Also, I feel like a squeaky voice wouldnt work the best for a story song. A story thats pretty incomprehensible too? Who is this lady! What the fuck is this village!! This is the song you wanted to make 4 minutes? and it fades out too... how much did they record... Arrow Through Me: So this is the one that the critics liked? Its the most synth heavy which i understand why people like, I like synths too! I like how the bass (which i think is also from a synth?) lines up perfectly with the horns! Its alright, it might grow on me later, but now its just a passable song. One i wouldnt skip. Plus I really like the reverb effects, the whole album has em but this one really makes use!! Kinda bad overall though.

-Side Two: Over Easy- Rockestra Theme: Just an instrumental. But one thats really important to music history! I don’t actually know the full story to this one, but I do know that i really like it! Plus the vocal effects on Paul’s... Scatting i guess you could call it? Whatever it is, it works! To You: This sounds... eerily like Getting Closer. But bad... Eh I like that organ. Not much to say really... theres only like one verse. After the Ball / Million Miles: Oh cool another medley. Last one we got was two albums ago! I guess since this is technically two songs id have to... review them both? After the Ball is exactly what it sounds like. A gentle rock song about seeing your love after a party :)! Pretty standard for wings. Million Miles! Sounds a lot like After the Ball but with an accordian? Fuck I’m not complaining. But also who the fuck is Deo. Winter Rose / Love Awake: Uh- Something is,,, wrong with Paul’s voice. like he damaged it? I mean its not horrible it just kinda takes me out of the emersion? Oh we’re already on Love Awake! his voice is fine now..! Man this song is mediocre! No wonder the 70s are regarded as lame./lh Weird that Linda isn’t singing backup here? Or if she is that Denny’s voice is just drowning her out. Winter Rose itself is kinda lame but its... sweeter I guess?  The Broadcast: SINISTER!!!!!!! I do not know who is talking but this sounds... dystopian. I don’t even know what the poem is about its just... the whole song is slightly off. But i mean that in a good way! So Glad to See You Here: MAN! They were trying so hard to be punk... Okay as a punk song this sounds horrible! But as a song in general i like it! It’s not mixed the best but i really like the lyrics! And I-HOLY SHIT WE’RE OPEN TONIGHT PART TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really didnt expect that,,, thats.... genuinely cool! Baby’s Request: Oh the finale! H..huh... Jazzy! And its about going to sleep.. i think? Regardless, Paul’s good at writing songs to fall asleep to, this isnt an exception at all!! Although it is weird that at the end the same horn plays as the one in Thrillington’s Monkberry Moon Delight... Its probably just a coincidence, i thought it was funny though. ---- Okay! Overall, I liked Sunny Side-Up more as a whole since i like 4/6 of its songs, but MAN So Glad to See You Here and Baby’s Request are REALLLY GOOD-But then again. I only listened to all of these songs once, and i wont listen to them again until ive finished writing this post, just to keep my first impressions fresh. I don’t really know what else to say that album was fun as hell! So I’d give Back To The Egg a... 7.8/10! I really didnt expect to like it this much. even though New Wave is my favorite music genre, i didnt think paul would be able to do it justice! Especially since the genre was just starting itself up... heh.... hope it gets archived soon.

*slams fists on table* MYSTELEON

I knew you wouldnt disappoint! :D  tho you already know most of these lmaoo  lotsa credit to @herbofoo anyway, i dont remember which of these you came up with but Patchwork wouldnt be the same without your Good Good Content! (And of course thanks for all your patience as i cry about comics lmao)

I’ve lost all shame long since ive started shipping them so brace yourself for the self-indulgent cheese that is Chameleon/Mysterio in my Patchwork verse. (its reallly. really Melodramatic. i gave up all pretense.. also under the cut cuz its long..)

ask meme

Who cooks:

Mysterio! Although Chameleon is objectively The Superior Cook thanks to the long years of being a servant to picky russian nobility BUT exactly because of that, he really doesnt enjoy it, even less when cooking for others and not just himself. So it is usually Beck who prepares meals (that are not bad either, they are just simpler) but as often as they can, they eat out. That said, Cham is very well aware Quentin loves his cooking so sometimes, he makes them something. (Being sick isnt so bad when it means Chammy bringin you a big bowl of hot borscht :)

On the other hand, Cham has quite a sweet tooth which Q notices Fast and decides to learn how to bake. It took more effort and failed tries than it could have, mostly because he got cocky, how hard could this be and just. kept forgetting he put stuff in the oven.. But now he makes quite delicious cookies n cakes which make Dmitri almost tear up because tasty + Quentin baked something Specifically for him?? 

Who does the laundry and other chores:

Mysterio’s laundry is usually booby trapped so he has to clean it himself and he doesnt even let Cham near it. And he keeps forgetting gadgets in his civvies. Not to mention that again, for the same servant reason, Cham really doesnt enjoy house chores in general, so he usually just gets his own clothes cleaned somewhere else (especially since his fancy suits and even fancier gowns are the highest quality and delicate materials, he doesnt even Know how to clean them..) 

As for the rest of the chores, its pretty balanced, although Cham has more of an eye for things that needs to be cleaned up (and Beck already has cooking duties) so he does a tad more. 

How many children do they have + Any pets:

In my Patchwork universe there’s a whole Thing about Leon, the Chameleon of the Ultimate universe but I’ve tried to type up a short summary and failed, it’s a long story lmao ^^;; and anyway he isnt exactly their kid, he is just much younger than them and they ended up sorta mentoring him. 

However, they have Celavi, the escaped ex-spy beluga.(Yes, it started as a joke based on this post that accidentally grew more and more serious until @herbofoo and me were too attached to let it go) She counts pretty much as their adopted daughter that they both spoil to hell and back, I mean no surprise, she saved Cham’s life once and sometimes, she helps out with heists. (Mostly for the show, you should have SEEN the look on Spider’s face when a beluga splashed him. He is used to humanoid sharks, to Hydroman.. not like. real life beluga that LAUGHS at him) Beck’s voice: “Dont you dare to insult her, SHE IS PERFECT AND FLAWLESS and A GOODNESS INCARNATE!! -she is literally a deserted russian spy that was trained to gather everything that could be used to harm USA-yea, i have a soft spot for those ;)“

She was always surprisingly clever so she never really counted as a “pet” and at one point, she even bonds with a symbiote (together they are Vague, again long story ah ha). They dont talk but have quite some range of vocalisations so communication isnt a problem. 

Who’s more dominant: 

They both have pretty dominant strong personalities (ok chameleon’s a bit more complicated with that but like.) with big egos who dont like others questioning their superiority. (Of course not at the level of like Doc Ock etc, they are surprisingly flexible and good team players that can be willing to let someone else take the spotlight if they are Nice) But the whole point of their relationship is that neither of them is dominant over the other, they get enough of that literally everywhere else. It’s very reassuring to be so sure that they are on equal footing, cooperating, no hidden nooses around their neck. Especially in their line of work of course! 

(Also, for the other interpretation of this question: anythin remotely sexual happens Pretty Late in the story and both of them are somewhere on the ace spectrum so it doesnt happen that often but they are both verses tho Beck bottoms more)

Favorite nonsexual activity:

MOVIES!! Sprawled on the giant comfy couch, closer than technically needed, cuddling and watching old movies with great special effects and/or great actors! Listening to Beck excitedly rant through the most dramatic speech of the story as he explains how the next cliffhanger is done with hydraulics! Focusing so hard on the stars in his eyes and his excited tone and gestures and just the tone of his voice you forgot to listen to the words themselves! Watching Cham’s face flawlessly mimic the faces on the screen in a blink of an eye and secretly guessing which one will he pick next. Feeling his head slowly fall on your shoulder, eyes closed, his mask smooth but not tense, instead just.. peaceful. Slight ping of annoyance, after all, this is A Classic movie dammit, but it’s gone in a second because Mitya hasnt slept since thursday and you are just relieved he is finally getting his rest. Feeling his warmth under your hand on his shoulders and suddenly never ever wanting to get up again.. EHM. anyway

PLANING HEISTS TOGETHER!! and more or less successfully executing them but planning is actually even more fun aside from the Big Reveals and Entrances which are actually harder to coordinate than one would think! 

Lots of shobiz/job talk actually, they really enjoy what they do! Lots of people already mentioned that in their hc compilations but i agree, they love goin to see all kinds of movies and plays and performances as well as acting various scenes with one another!  

Their favorite place to be together:

NEW YORK CITY BABEYY. Sure they love to travel and see other countries (and cause mayhem there) but.. they love their mess of a city, it’s never the same without the webhead around as well as the bazillion of other heroes n villains bashin each other’s heads. 

Any traditions:

Oh so many pop culture references and inside jokes, oh my god. One time, they spent the entire heist (and its planning period) speaking strictly in famous movie lines and titles, Max and other sixers tried to join but didnt last too long :’D 

Beck also has a habit of taking pictures of people with Interesting faces or styles he sees and sends them to Cham. Also another fanon classic: together they have a running game, disguising themselves as moderately famous people and the other guessing who..

Their “song”:

‘This is me’ from the Greatest Showman, i just live for the two of them singin it in Cham’s car,off key but fully immersed and living it. 

What they do for each other on holidays:

Neither of them are religious but that doesnt stop Beck from going ALL OUT at any opportunity, Sin Six doesn’t do any heists around holidays because you Know he’d make them dress for the occasion or worse, write them themed lines…  They still meet for Christmas and Hanukkah and sometimes other holidays too because this is my AU and you can pry festivities-related shenanigans from my cold, cold hands. It’s always at Beck’s place tho because he can turn his hideout into the tackiest holiday-themed showcase but he aint roping them into it.  

On the other hand, Cham despises American commercialized holidays in general and Christmas time especially, since it’s not a big thing in Russia and  also once again, he has family issues for days. (Although relatively speaking, he is pretty over these, he is not gonna like mope around or anything) 

Anyway, what they do for each other is that they try to compromise, Dmitri doesnt sneer at stupid kitsch decorations every 5 minutes and Quentin ..chills a little. :’D To be fair, Beck makes everything fun and having Cham there makes Beck appreciate the details more instead of just goin into BETTER!BIGGER! frenzy.

Where did they go for their honeymoon:

After the fuckin Ages of pinning, when they finally end up together for realsies, they wanted somethin Big and Flashy! (Well Beck wanted and Cham kinda too but also with the option to merge with the crowd unnoticed and take some chill time) Anyway they went on a whole world wide tour! Starting with a luxury cruise, they took their time, lots of crime sprees to plan and execute, lots of local shows to see, lots of dumb heroes to fool, they’re gonna have it all! 

Where did they first meet:

Around the time when Cham and Hammerhead had their criminal empire running Fisk to the ground, Otto decided the Sin Six should team up with them for their ressources needed on one heist or something. They agreed but Cham insisted on actually going in the field, it’s been a while since he really stretched his face legs like this and the mafia life was starting to bore him. Doc made him team up with Mysterio much to the fishbowl’s dismay because why do they need another disguise artist?? He is the Master Of Illusions dammit, he can run circles around this guy, what the fuck Otto?? So at the start, he pouts and fumes under his helmet and in general he is his v unpleasant self but… He can’t help but notice that the new guy is a real professional, he even uses Traditional masks, he likes the same movies… And most importantly, he is actually interested in Mysti’s craft, asking questions and even LISTENING to his long winded answers… At one point he even wondered if that X thing was meant as a HOMMAGE to the Y movie, the Six never did that!! (Usually the rest of the sixers dont know the reference, heathens, and when they do, they mock him for it, that he’s copying ideas and mixin them ridiculously.  BUT THIS GUY GETS IT!!) So it doesn’t take long for them to hit it off, of course at this point without any real Trust behind it but it’s a start. 

(Though Beck does pay a visit to Otto like, buddy pal i know you’ve been planning on manipulating these crimelords to your end somehow and honestly, any other day i’d be down, i actually had a robot prepared for my own backstab but i was thinking they werent that bad and maybe we Could hold our end of the bargain this time and just. leave each other on good terms? Mabye? Obviously it’s purely out of respect for our teammate Kraven since him and Chameleon seem to have some history, nothing more, definitely nothing to do with how bright Cham’s eyes were when i was showing him the back of my stage… ) 

What do they fight over:

this whole post has been a mountain of cheese but im bringing more! Honestly, goin through my notes on Patchwork, their biggest arguments have always been about.. the other one not taking proper care of himself :’D Or them lashing out because they were scared and worried about the other and they cant stand being so vulnerable while the other pretends it’s not a big deal because they dont know how to handle genuine concern directed at them. 

Do they go on vacations, if so where:

GIVE!!! BECK!!!! HIS!!!! ISLAND!!!!!!They actually do have one, it’s where Celavi spends most of the time and they visit her often. But never for too long, neither of them can actually spend too long doing nothing.. 

Im not sure where to start although i feel like i alwyas start with that.My mom says i seem to be doing  alot better and inn truth i am. I feel more myself and joyous and mre personality, and than theres still an emptiness that creeps in. The sort of weird shame feeling i used to get in mornings or without a shirt on, i got it today after grabbing clothes from my moms. maybe this is just a personal issue but im trying not to isolate myself in my emotions. TI appreicate and find it hard to understand the idea of common humanity. It is true humans all epereince these emotions and it is only to ones disadvantage when we tell ourselves were the only ones who have ever felt these emotions. In truth we are the only ones who experience things given we all have different perspectives, childhoods, personalities, and biology of our brains.. yet i think that an important to try to find the common humanity. empathy, relating to one another. we are more alike than we are different. YOu know when your on the freeway and you wonder where are all these people going. Myabe some are picking up there kids, going to a booty call, stopping to grab bananas at the store, and we wont ever know, everyone is all doing there own thing, eveyone is jsut driving just going to work doing things and im wo dering if anyone else is freaked out about what is happening. Why the hell are we here?n why iseveryone not freaking out with the little time we have, i want to make the most out of what is happeing i dont want to waste any more time not being  where i want to be, i wanted to be skinny so i can go on with my life. But i geuess thats alos the point of life. ive been so worried about living that i havnt actually been living. Im failing at an attempt to handle my shit. I look back on the past and how come i can only think, mostly think of the bad things. The relationships that i shouldve ended sooner cuz i didnt really lvoe them as i thought love would be. THey were all merely a disspointment. That sounds rude but to put it this way i alwyas thought there was something better for me. MY parents used to say at times “its never enough for you katie” maybe that is true. maybe im never satisidef. Maybe it was because they were tired and had tried there best and i failed because my needs wernt meant. not that they were needs. I think back to guys ive hooked up with and wish i had higher standards. why did i find satisfaction in attention from people that didnt even care about me. WHen guys used me and i was glad to let them. Especailly when i had previous ly had crsushes on them. FUCK BOYS WITH J names. i dont know why im writing as if im writing a story. maybe it makes it easier maybeim trying to articulate my thoughts into something there not. I think about things that have happened and hope i can maybe use them as a testimony maybe ill meet the love of my life adn get to share all these stories... but i dont things play out like that and thats a weird perspective to have on things thsat occur. Like as if im a narrator. I would get so ecited to send cute pictures of myself when i was  baby and show my boyfriends, or share things with them but then i realized something. they dont care, well definlty not like me. That ecitement about it is not the same as the one im epereiecning and when i was sent baby pictures of them, i didnt feel that warmth in my heart. maybe that makes me a bitch or emotionally disconnected. but how do i know if im feelin. what connections have i made. I used to want to be under the influence and gina my therapist said that people go to substances to feel connection. When i was on coke, life was beautiful i could talk to anyoe and everyone adn words flowed so well. In my head, looking back i probably looked like a crack head and thats the reality of it. I can manipulate my reality but to what is its value if its a lie. if no one else feels or sees what im seeing. ona  nother thought  i think we can make up these sotries in our heads that arnt even true. like somone tells us something or we feel a certain way about ourself so and it ends upso our whole olives our affected by this painting in our head only to find out no one sees what were seeing. my dad said that we can change the past, welll we can change our past by changing how we look at it. and i think if we could grasp it it would change our lives. I think that i could look back and not feel that shame, or not feel that embarressment. But am i not a sum of all the words thoughts and actions ive done or had uot o this point? thats depressing, but if it were something i was proud of then yes i would like to be. but the truth is all wehave is the now and you can start now being a totally different person, but you cant run away from all the consequences of the past i guess they jsut dont matter if you decide to change. but then what about bridges burned. i guess my plan b ina  sense is to run away to another country. but then theres legal issues and this whole system and ates and bad guys and tso m8uch to worry about that i dont feela  sense of freedom. my information is online and under a sytem and i undertsadn why i just wish everything could be quiet for sa sec. mayeb i dont want to be aktie stowers anymore. I get jealos of girls born and raised pretyy. all ive done is starved myself in the process of becoming what i want to be but thats not even me. if i have to starve to et there then i feel as though i dont actuallyl deserve to be skinny. and i fee l so vain for obsessing over this fucking thought. iw anted to be skinny this is what ive said from the beginging can someoine please help me do it. the probelm is that im in treatment for anoreica sub purge type and the reality is that i cant lose weight withought going to etreme measures. it became the most important thing in my life and ive been strung up on the same thought since fucking march of 2018. talk about time wasted. although i know thats no way of looking at it. ive learned lessons and have ad so many beautiufl things happpen. I get told very kind things about myself. i wonder if im actually a kind person or i only do things simply to be a kind person. if eel kinda selfish but i guess we all are. i mean think about how amny bad things are happening in this world and children starving and here i am buying things i dont need anf focuing on myself. but im not doing anything about it. i mean i try to tip etra give to homless ifi can i just feel guilt because i could be doing more but ijalso know that im not responsibly to save the world. jsut seems wrong the way things are. thats why i believe everyone goes to heaven. maybe because i cant wrap my head around the possily fact that barrett wouldnt and also becasue the idea of eternal damnation dosnt seem like the character of a god i want to serve. i see so much bullshit in the church and i just dont know . am i jsut angry. I became so jdugemntal of those judging me and thats just as worse but when theres almost a cluba nd you dont fit into there critera it fucking hutts. and that dosnt feel liek jesus i think jesus wouldnt let us be seperated by rleigion or if you drank last weekend. I think we should all unite and love each other and thats what reallly matters. yet here i am obsessed over being skinny. im down to 4 hour as of yesterday and i feel so much better i do. i just wish i could have one long 2 day therapy session whre i fucking figure out all my shit. ive gone to so much therapy and its been etremly helpful i jsut dont wanna waste anymore time with this baggage. I dont wanna go a minute longer when i could giure all this out. i guess what im saying is i want my life tp be an open canvas and not be unravveling and my childhood issues poopping up.. i want to go into the fututre knowing what i know adn epeireicning my life as it plays out. but i am 18 ishouldnt be thinking this much into things huh i should just let it be and lvie my life. i should be doung homework an teting my frienfds or going on a date. but thats not ther eality of things and alos i think ill look abck and things will be different. IOm also int reatment rn so oviously my situation is not exactly normal. i really do love to write i used to always want to be an author. but i dont kno0w anymore. i jsut dont really like how the sytem works i hate how we all have to go to college amd study things i dont give a fuck about and then some struggle at there 9-5 to merely surve eand ig uess i dont like the thoughr of that. and i know were suppsoed to find joys in the little things i think things are jsut freaking me out. iw ant to quit smoking nicatine but everyday i go out and do it. ig uess that meanns i dont really want to stop because if i did i would. i  and then i feel slightly guilty and opackiy because his is the only boduy im given. like does that not freak everyone out. this is the only way we are able to eperience life. think about how quickly it can be ended. i think that is too much pwier overmyself. nmot that im suicidal but i do think i hgave the power to find out super son what is after this life. judgment day, pure nothingness, maybe ill become a=one of the many ants i ahev enjoyed killed as a punsihemtn for msyelf. or hoe[fully and maybe ill entire a heaven with a lovuing god. a state of being with loved ones. I think thats why people like the idea of heavn the idea that you will see people later. but that discount the factof pain. when someones child dies they dont feel any less pain because a verse about being reunited with the,. because the truht im scared to tyee is that theres a possibility heaven isnt rela. and the loved one that is lost will never be in your reaach again.i feel sad for how ome peoples lifeves go. i hope they get a chance in the after life to have what they wanted. but then i think abotu abd guys. i wouldnt want them in my heaven. i guess maybe who we all our at our core is who would be in heaven beyond all the nasty. yet i dont believ flesh is nasty and i dont believ trying my whole life to not be something i was made to be. if my flesh is evil adn mankind is doomed what the fuck is that. i dont think god would set us upnto fail and i believ ehe understands we are human. and gpd is god and god knew everything that was going to happen up to npw. u know whats crazy is that on the time line we are on the edge of what is to come. being aluive rn. and its crazy that i wont be here in 100 years. ill be merely history. but rn we are whats happneing 7:12 november 11th. we are up to datebecause we are merely aliver. unless there is different universes and this is m,erely a simulation. but besides the point. barrett was talking about just how many books songs and information there is. that makes me pancik there is so many people so many things i could learn and musici could listen to that no one can listen to it all. maybe theresa song out there that is my favorite son that ill never get to lsiten to but i gues si jsut have to trust that the universe ligns up as it should and my life will happen as it should. and alll these things are happneing and were floating in the middle of space and yet i feel like people arnt freaking out. like what hthe actual fuck is happneing. and why do iu want to soedn my one life doing shit that dosn matter or something i dont even love. but thats how life works because you have to have moneya nd i do love bying things. and i jsut need to relax. because when people look back on there past they think if i could only tell msyelf its going to be okaya nd to have fun. why cant i do taht i mean i can but tehn these thughts come in. iwant to be skinny i also love food. starving was easy and i like d seeing my bones show,. i wanted people to see me and know i was hurting but people dont wanna be sround sa dpeople i guess i just wanted o be rescued. and at the same time it was nice to focus on the thingsd because even if all went ot hell if i restricted enought hat was okay my eating idsorder would tell me that  everything was going to be okay because i was taking care of the one thing i actaully wanted. writing this makes me sound crazy to msyelf. i have so many things i want to larn and do and so having an eating disorder makes me feel limated. amd truly it does limit me. it dosnt allow me to worry and think about these tihngs. i just really want to be skinnya dn i dont know where this started or why its so impiortant but i just am not a fann of my boyd. and i know tis terirble because im more than m y body and i know i cant stave mtyself and i know that this makes me self cenetred i know that it didnt pkay out as the damsel in distress that i wanted i know wthat i pushed loved ones away and made desisions taht really arnt alligned with my values because truly i didnt care i just wanted to get skinny i know i didnt look healthy bu in my mind that s the best ive eever looked. i know that the husband i meet is going to lvoe me for whats beond my appreance so it dosnt matter and getting atention from others isnt satisying and only leaves me feeling empty i knwo lifes to short to count your calories, to walk around feeling fraila nd loung every seconds. to reach 109 and not see a body close to what was at 116. to talk about numbers because they w]makr improtant parts of my life adn to allso swear that i dont care that much about the numbers. i care about the look. but if what they say is true and i ahve body dismprhia thats impossible. they say the eating idpsrder says itll never be enough. it will nevr be satisiuded. “ its never enough katie” never enough

and so maybe its me maybe im just this warped person. why do memories come back so weird and hwy did i have su h weird thoughts a s f\child. why do i get filled with so much rage. somtiems i think im the most grogeous girl and others i want to killmsyelf because i fel worthless. imm not suicdial but i can remeberthe first time i thought about killing kmyself i was in the abck seat of the car my brothers wre all teasing me about soething but for whatecer reason i was upset by it. i remebr crying and thinking how bad thye would feel if i killed myself. i carried this idealation iwht me later on. gina says i used this as a coping skill.w whenevr someone was mean, didnt say the right thing, didnt invite me, or a aprent said something hurtful. o thouhgt about it as if i were a ghost. watching how sad they were that they had not done better with me. that they said those angry words last to me instead of teeling me uhow much they lvoed me. that when they gossiped ghey felt so bad after because i was dead. i sometimes wish i could watch this unfold. but thats demented and evil. my ghost smiling with satifdaction as she watches loved one who id love and people who were simply lvingnthere life be affected by this. what good would it do to me or them. it would ruin them, does thaa amke mf evil. and then i realzie thats not how death wokrs. ill go to  wahtevr is after this.a dm why would i waste my eistence on a disguestingnromantizsm of revenge.  shpuld move on better msyelf and make connections and share with my lovedones hwen theyve hurt me or that i need more love.  i love treamnt. i love the lif3 im having. besids hating my body i love doing art and larning life skills and if eel like pooeple love me for me there and i can really be myself and support others. but i cant live my life in treatment. i want to relapse theres a few pros to this. one i get skinny againa dn can take pcitures while im skinnya dn try to do it a healthier way. 2 i can jsut go back to treatment and 3 thats a big fuck you to insuracne and theyll realize i coudlve used more help. my ancupucture lady said i need to let people help me adn its tru. i can read boooks hae copnversations go toa therapist but what goofd does it do if its not evn sticking with me. if i dont allow it to change me. im so stuck in that i want to be skinny. but im also tired of haojng my body, the thought about being okay iwht my body is sad to. ill jsut be ugly and not care? amd i wont be ablr to beas beautiful as i want to be. the law of attraction streases me out to because what if everytihng im writing is manif3sting as we speak. hut io cant just iugnore all thse thoughts. its good to journl ane write. i smoked the other night and told susan and brooke but lied to my treatment team. but honestly i was anxious the whole time and outside of playing with myself and dougna  trippy spiritaul mediaiton itwasnt the best time. it ,made me realize i enjoy beig sober bcecause i can do lall the things i want to do and not be stupid and i can be mindful. but then i feel a little desperate at the idea of not having anys ubstances. i sjsut need to create a good ralit y formyself. also i just don tfeel like im the little blon girl in my baby photos like me and her arnt \even the same person but i am i am her in 18 year old form. i jsut dont even know who i am or whats happening. iw ant to chilla dn i need to find balance. maybe this is because my brain has more room oto think about thoings. it kinda hurts me that my mom dsont know that much about eating disorders but yet she says she knows how bad these thionhd can get. likes he can talk so much about me needing help and this and that and yet she hasnt veen taken the tiem to udnerstand what it is im goi g throug. but i shoudlnt epect her to i dont evn knkw what is happneing. cons of relasping is more time wwasting life farther form my hoal. what is my goal all i can think abou t is working on my body bye cercising and eating healthy after treatment. iu dont underdstand why people dopnt think this is a huge thing for me. it makes it so i cant wear what. im so tired of caring. i want to get out of my head. but reality is i am katie and i have to deal wiht whats going on it dosnt do any good whining about it. another con is that my family would be disapinted. im kinda scared i ahev cancer ir im going ot die and jus stop breatinh. its probaly jsut anxiety . nbut i think about the drugs ive done and all that ive smoked and when ive starved and i wonder if im jsut shutting gdown. but i guess were all shutting down. but you cant tell kids these tihngs they dont care and they wouldnt undertsnad. i guess im jsut freaking out at my very eistence. im also very thankful to ebe alive. the fact were all ehsiting rn is crazy i think everything happens for a reason and theres a beautiful lessona nd “work of art called love” desinged by the creator. i ksut dpnt think itds what people think its actaully is. julian is just dsigusing why was i ever ino him. but i cant stop 16 year old me by being into him. but he really wasa dick adn oi dont think hes aw the value in me. my idea of him thinking that was because hesa  lot uglier than me or the line in fredys song where he says “ why would a girl like you fall for a guy like me” and he saud thatr eminded him of us i thought that was so sweet. MO that dosnt mean he values me. why was i so okay with accepting bullshit.a nd nathan. i really liked nathan we were bestfriends. but i got really cazy jealous. i was supposed to eat2 and ahalf hours ago and im not rally hungry. hence my hunger ques are off. i lost 4 lbs over the weekedn and im on weight restoration i was given till friday before i have tonadd even more additions because im not supposed to be lsoing weight. but i dint feel sad baout it. i felt eciteed i guess my bodys ina  place where it can lsoe weight easily. i feel like i should take advantage of it. is this litterally the eating disorder tuyping as we speak am i poseed. it is katie stowers. i guess thats what an eating idorder does. i think i ought to steer clear of caffense and weed. make things a little less harde.r and truly i shuld try to quit nicatine. ots just so nice to do but i think i ought to just not do it. i think idts a porblem because i can already mpciture me going outside after break and smoking. “evntually ill quit shes aid” when i quoted julien baker in her song ahppy to be hee to esther it says “ i miss you the way that i miss nicatine” she waled away after. felt a little judged honeslt and i dont think it was cuz of me but i am better than to smoke nicatine. i think im gonna not do it tomorow. adn if i succeed well see about friday. but it is a hbit i shoudl break. but anyways theres a lot to worry about and be ecited about to and im having a hard time manging it all. and i opuld go on times ten of whats been happneing in my brain ina  therap y session but it dosnt happne.

Writing/6/hades/ambition? Also I just found your blog and really like it. What are you studying and what help in math do you need? :)

Writing - What’s one trope/plot line you wish to see in books or movies?

Oooo one thing that id absolutely love to see in movies would probably be the major fanfic tropes! Like hanahaki AUs or soulnate tattoo AUs and things like that!

And for books, i saw this one tumbr post a long time ago (on pinterest lmao) about a whole book being written where the reader feels like a character in the book and like somewhere in the end the main love interest goes like youre seem like a really cool person but unfortunately youre real. Or sth like that. Idk it just feels like a really good concept. (Btw i would die for any sort of soft romantic plot so thats another thing ig)

6. one thing your teacher/professor said that you will never forget?

So this is a story of how i was being a dumbass kid and how my teacher noticed it. (This is long im sorry) In 8th grade a few weeks after the midterms this guy i kinda had a crush on reciprocated my feelings (we didnt go out but the feelings were there) and like relationships and stuffs have apparently always been a very awkward thing for me (because im very awkward) and like my friends were helping me out to get together with him and it was making me kinda uncomfortable but i didnt say anything because 'ahaha these people are trying shtuff for me and i should be grateful' and all that cr*p. But then my social studies teacher kinda noticed that i was starting to behave differently a bit ig (like i was being quieter than usual and seeming more distracted and shtuff maybe) and since our teachers kinda knew some or the other scoop about the kids i think she figured out what was going on coz one day at lunch break when she had her lecture right before, She stopped me after class and told me that i need to start speaking up about what i want and what i dont or else even though people would be doing something for me and i wouldnt want that it would still be a loss for both sides since events that need to happen always happen, even if they get delayed. And in the end everyone would end up getting hurt and their efforts would go wasted anyways. (She didnt exactly say that but idk how to phrase it so i hope you get what she said) and like after that i actually did talk to my friends about it and they happily dropped their whole plan and it turned out all good in the end. ( i didnt get i to the relationship thankfully lol)

So im never gonna forget that advice of speaking up for what i want. (Altough i still do kinda have a hard time over it)

hades; subject(s) you dislike in school

Huhhh. Honestly it would have to be Math and Physics. (I dislike math more tho.)

It probably because maybe i never actually tried to do it for reasons other than just getting done with it becuae exams. But like even though i try to practice math i still just never really vibe with (i had no better phrasing other than this im sorry hahdhdj)

ambition: what is your current study goal?

My study goal at his exact moment is to somehow properly get done with each one of my final exams and get at least above an 80%. (Worst case scenario 75%)

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Also the thing in the end!!! Im honestly reallly realllt struggling with calculus and UGH its ripping my mind apart. And aaAaaa thank you so so so so so much for offering help!!!!! I really really appreciate it!!!!

every question!!

okay, thanks! i know this is late but ive been busy lately so hereeee we go:

VALENTINE'S DAY | ASK SPECIAL

1: Do you have a crush at the moment? -i have the sweetest bf ever hes my crush

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?- currently im the most in love ive ever been

3: Longest relationship you've ever been in?-1 year and progressing

4: Have you ever changed for someone?-i have bpd that tells me i gotta change to be liked so,, ye

5: How is your relationship with your ex?- nonexistent and cold

6: Have you ever been cheated on?- i really hope not

7: Have you ever cheated?-no, i would never

8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?- no 

9: What's the most important part of a relationship?-emotional trust

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?-serious

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?-no it feels like a cop out just work through your problems and stay together

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?-i dont do hook ups

13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?-the way i ended it was inhumane

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?-its really case specific but i think if they’re educated and with someone of their own maturity they can tell when they’re ready. i dont think sex should be thought of as so severe

15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?-no. no. gross. creepy. pedophilia. bad 

16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?- no, i think love has to be built over time with work and interaction

17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?-yes, i dont see why it wouldnt be, so long as you dont fully rely on physical presence

18: What do you consider a deal breaker?- cheating, forcing me into things i dont want, unsupportive, shallow, stupid

19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship?-ive only done this once and that was because my friends pointed out to me that it was actually abusive sooooo

20: Are you currently in a relationship?-yes @the-long-awaited-spaceman is the love of my life

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?- yes, if the relationship ended in mutual agreement

22: Do you think people should date their friends?- thats all ive ever done and it makes for a really cute, close relationship!

23: How many relationships have you had?-3

24: Do you think love can last forever?-yes

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?-no

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?-god no, if i did that id only date straight, white, christian boys

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?-stop chasing boring straight boys

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?-yes

29: What do you notice first about another person?-voice, hair, and height i think

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?-no, otherwise i would never have dated anyone. i am severely mentally ill and i like to help and love my partner

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?-yes, physically and emotionally

33: Do you want to get married one day?-yes!

34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?-risky and cliche

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?- yes but its not preferred 

36: Are you still a virgin?-no

37: What's more important: Looks or personality?-70% personality

38: Do you enjoy love films?-not usually

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?-yes

40: Have you ever had a valentine?-yesssss

41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?-maybe a lil lunch and then going to a bookstore and going home, reading books, and fucking reallly hard

42: Have you ever read "Romeo &and Juliet"?-yes! i love Shakespeare. why is this question on here tho its not a love story

43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends?-both are essential to me

44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?- i try but im bad at it

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?-im dating my best friends, and yeah id date almost all of em

46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?-thats not a thing my dude

47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite?-bill nye and neil degrasse tyson 

48: What's your favorite love song?-kiss me by ed sheeran i think

49: Have you ever broken someone's heart?-i think so like few times

50: If you're single, why do you think you are?- im not

51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?-ummmmm idk id be a sugar baby tbh.... i luv muney

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?-surprisingly yeah?

53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single?-not rlly no

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on Facebook)?-i rlly dont care what other people know.

55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?-yea yes yep

56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?-probs?

57: Do you think it's silly to consider suicide because of a broken heart?-i mean its silly but i get the feeling of severe abandoment trauma and id probs do it...

58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship?-sub!!!!! 

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary?-no 

60: What's your opinion on open relationships?- cool but not for me

61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family?-partner. i hate my family

62: How do you define "cheating"?-physically touching someone in a sexual way without your partners direct consent

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?-no sometimes we watch it together :)

64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?-enh i mean its cute but

65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler”?-hellllll yeeees

i never post anything on here even tho its a personal... :0

last week, i woke up and just cried all day and night... it was draining but you know, not to be cliche or dramatic or anything, i felt like i was crying away all the weight i held onto in school that had to do with friends.

Growing up in middle school, i had two people who i called a best friend. I was bullied every day throughout elemetary and middle school. I had no one  to turn to except this person and when they werent there i was very lonely. i was a loser lol... nobody really knew me and i was too shy to show them who i was. 

and then the day i was betrayed by two of those special friends i really kinda fell apart. i dont wanna talk about it, but... after that day i just remember feeling really bad and i couldnt alk about it without crying for a long time. my mom was getting frustrated that i would always wanna talk about it cuz i was sad about it but i couldnt talk about it or id start crying so i would say “never mind” and then cry again because i felt bad lol...

anyways, i wasnt strong back then. tbh i dont really remember stuff that happened in middle school and sometimes i choose to pretend it never happened. so i went on being friends with one of them and considered them to be a bet friend all the way through high school. I’d notice things were changing a lot. I would always be the one making sacrifices and thats no ones fault but my own. my mom would always tell me that they were no good for me, not a good friend or person etc. theres a lot more stuff that goes into our relationship.But i was too weak to confront my issues and let everything slide. not that i was the perfect angel...

i would lash out at my friends a lot because of teenage change, and my mental state was really reallly bad. i hit rock bottom in the first two years of HS. I ffelt awful. I was doing really badly but I didnt know how to deal with anything.

Anyway, my best friend now is a true best friend. Not once did I ever suspect they would be talking about me, thinking the worst upon me or aything. i would never betray them and I like to think they wouldnt do that to me either. But they did hurt my feelings one day. and that was the first time that actually genuinely happpened. I hoenstly didnt care enough to cry, but at the time i had just realized that I put up with a lot of bullshit in my life from my “friends.” we have good times, but I allowed people to treat me like dirt when I did nothing to deserve it.

So I guess that morning, my subconscious thought about everyhting regarding a certain person, and all the emotions just left me. They never texted or called me before they left for college, or even at all during summer. I tried reaching out a couple times but no use. They dont owe me anything, thats true. But if we were really friends like she says when we have a heart to heart, why did it end up like this? thats what was going on in my head. Why hang out with someone who abused me knowing full well they did. why have them around me? maybe im the one to blame.

thinking about all the people whove done me wrong, and me realizing that, I think i broke. idk. i just felt pain. really bad pain. i felt sorry for myself. but after that, i decided to think about the good people i have in my life right now, about people who actually, genuinely care for me and Ill put all my energy towards keeping people happier and working onmy own life isntead of feeling sorry for myself.

ive been wanting to talk to someone for a while. a reallyl long time. i have a lot of issues that i need to take care of and its really hard coping with a lot of stuff on my own, not to be dramatic oranything. But im better than I was just 3 or 4 years ago, and Im gonna continue to get better and change my myself to be a better person.