#it looks really unfinished with its inconsistent style | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theastrophilearchitect · 3 years

Text

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

Writing journey #4.

15/05/2021 07.22 My break has officially been over for five days, and i have done some writing, but it’s been incredibly inconsistent, so I decided to start this blog post over. Bay Tree has been archived, and though FSB isn’t done, I’ve realised I need to take a step back. It’s why writers leave weeks at a time between drafts--so when they return, they’re in a different mindset, and can improve their work.

For this same reason, I need to take a step back before I finish my outline. My thought process is becoming monotonous, which means I’m losing my excitement. When you start a project, you have the idea in your head as perfect, and when those ‘vibes’ become tangible, it is less exciting. That’s unavoidable. But I just need to take a step back, so when I return, I have fresh ideas, and the plot becomes more exciting to me.

So today, I’m going to start brainstorming a new idea I had, which I don’t have an alias for yet, and I have an idea to essentially bind every project I have together, but not in Grishaverse- or Shadowhunters-style where you need to read ten books just to read the one you want. Just a nod to anyone who does read multiple, like when Aelin falls through worlds and sees Rhys and Feyre for a split second.

So. Let’s brainstorm.

My plan, I think, is to alternate weekly. This week, I’ll work on the new one, next week I’ll do FSB. I could just take this new idea and apply it to FSB, except I just don’t see how that would work. I have different worlds in mind, and this new one is a fantasy where FSB is sci-fi(/fantasy. It’s kinda both).

16/05/2021 07.07 I really wish I was a pantser. Even though I haven’t got to the editing stage, my favourite part of writing is implementing new ideas and making changes, but I’m just not a pantser. I need to know where each part is going. Instead, I have to sit here, brainstorming, for days, to figure everything out.

18/05/2021 07.06 I did a lot of work on the 16th, but I was busy yesterday, and didn’t get any writing done, because, when I was free, I was just reading. So, I’ve decided I’m going to at least write before I leave the house, which gives me about 45 minutes this morning.

23/05/2021 18.30 Based on the fact it has been five days, I think you can tell how good I’ve been about keeping writing. The problem is that I don’t actually have much past a concept for my new project, so I’m trying to figure out how, precisely, I could merge the two projects. FSB is interesting, but doesn’t have a huge amount of depth, which adding the characters from the new project would absolutely do, while the new project is lacking plot, which FSB (at least the first book I’ve planned) does. So, I’m going to start a new Scrivener project, and consider how I can merge the two concepts while implementing both plots.

Is it too much? I have only two main characters in FSB, but five in the newer one, which gives me seven main characters, divided into three groups. And do I want to write a book with so many separate storylines? I know readers (myself included) always end up favouring one storyline over another, getting annoyed when certain POVs come up. I don’t know what to do.

I could keep the new project, but implement FSB? Hold up. New Project (NP) has two protagonists who could undergo a similar development to the protagonists of FSB... I had a plan for the male protagonist of FSB, his arc, which wouldn’t work for NP’s male protagonist, but would work perfectly for its female protagonist...

Tumblr’s glitching. It wouldn’t let me reblog a post earlier, and now it won’t let me save this draft. Please, no.

Okay, so I had to copy what I’d written for today, disconnect and reconnect to the Wi-Fi, then wait for my drafts to load to paste it. Going great!

21.00 So I didn’t get a huge amount done, because I caught up doing ~evening things~, but I at least have a plan going forward, which is an accomplishment

30/05/2021 09.29 I’ve spent the last couple weeks doing everything I can to avoid writing, but i now have an insane amount of free time, so I have no excuse. I want to use this time in a productive way, and, for me, that means writing.

03/06/2021 10.31 I swear to god, I’ve had ‘writing’ on my to-do list every single day, except not doing it is probably my own fault, because it’s been so far down on the list. Also, I’m doing a buddy read, but am also unfortunately descending into a reading slump, so even reading 50 pages takes me about 90 minutes--they’re not even long pages.

I actually went back onto my old Wattpad account earlier, where I found a load of old, unfinished stuff, but none of it was as bad as I thought it would be, and the ideas weren’t bad. I just really have no idea what it is I’m writing right now, and I hate trying to figure it out.

11.30 There are so many Ss in the word ‘assassin’ this is not okay.

This is actually going so well. I have two storylines in my head, a complex cast of characters, and I’m so looking forward to plotting this.

04/06/2021 08.04 Look at me, two days in a row. Anyways, I’m thinking I ought to name these characters ASAP, because it’ll be easier to shape them to their names than it will be to find a name which fits them once they’ve been shaped.

14.41 Here’s what I’m realising: I like to pants plots, but I can’t do that while I’m actually drafting, so I think my plan is actually to bullet point everything that happens, then revise that, then start drafting, so the story is basically set in the first draft.

I’ve actually gone through a lot of stuff--I have workable plot material!

17.16 So, me being me, I’ve semi-outlined (I say semi-, it’s more like a tenth) a trilogy, meaning I have ideas for three books following this storyline, and it... makes sense. It’s the kind of story where I can follow multiple arcs, a few at a time, instead of several overarching ones, or maybe it’s just that I’m letting myself.

07/06/2021 16.44 I don’t have a damn clue what I’ve spent the day doing. I haven’t done anything in a couple days because it was the weekend and I was busy, but I’m back now. The thing is, I haven’t spent the day reading, watching, drawing, or doing anything, really--it’s escaped me. But, at the very least, I’ve relaxed, so who cares?

I’m not applying story structure to the ideas I’m having quite yet--rather, I’m just developing them to see how they bloom on their own, then I’ll fit it in; it just seems like a more natural and effective way to develop.

Yeah, no. It’s too late in the day for this. I have zero motivation.

08/06/2021 09.49 Maybe I’ll accomplish something today; who knows? Certainly not me.

I’m now applying the 3-act structure, but I’m realising I have way too many details worked out for this--switching to more acts.

22.20 Why am I doing this to myself? I wish I could say I’m not entirely sure, but it’s because I can’t sleep, because this project, and my character Lihan, are the only things I can think about, so here I am. I don’t want to be a night writer, but que sera sera (I wish I could type accents on an English keyboard).

23.22 I accomplished more in the last hour on this project than I have in the last four days.

09/06/2021 - 1,115 words 09.29 I really hope I don’t prove today that night-writing is my sweet spot--I don’t want it to be. Can the world just let me have a functional sleep schedule??

Anyways, so, as I’ve mentioned before, I use Scrivener, which enables me to sort which documents are part of the manuscript from the ones that aren’t. I’ve been working outside of the manuscript, but I think I’m going to move them into it--I have a plan I believe will be more effective for my own drafting. I think I very much need the events to be set in stone before I begin writing in actual prose, so how can I do that? Especially when I also enjoy pantsing, but not in prose?

Here’s the plan: I plot out the main events, then bullet point everything in very high detail, similar to what many people call a zero draft, in which they draft a book in short form. I’ll sort the bullet points into chapters (but not scenes, because as I discovered with Bay Tree, I find scene-blocking makes the narrative less natural), leave it alone a while, then revise, so I can have my plot more-or-less set in stone before I work on prose.

As a result, I’m going to shift my plotting into the manuscript section, because it is, essentially, an early draft, and also I want a word count as a progress metre.

13/06/2021 - 1,611 words 8.18 Alas, I have been busy the last few days, but I’m here now.

9.20 The amount of secrets and who-knows-what in this story is genuinely absurd, but I’m sure I’ll clean it up eventually.

14.01 A few days ago, I came across a post about balancing large casts, which is exactly what I have, and the first thing it mentioned was the two-trait rule, in which every character has two traits completely unique to them, to help both reader and writer differentiate. Which I’m now going to implement.

14.42 I have these two characters, and I know exactly what I want their dynamic to be, except I can’t decide who should be which part of it.

I have made my decision. It probably works better now, but it does alter their roles, so I need to fix that.

I literally swapped them round solely because I decided one was taller than the other and thought it would be more interesting if the short one was the sadist. Why do I make my own life so difficult?

14/06/2021 - 1,574 words 11.08 I didn’t make an enormous amount of progress yesterday, but I did make some, and made notes of ideas for relationship arcs last night, so I count that a victory (forced optimism--surprisingly effective). I’m currently just working through bullet-pointing book one, while making notes of events I want in the rest of the series (I’m projecting three books, and telling myself I will finish them). I’m currently fiddling with one of my storylines to see how I can mould it to FSB’s and OH MY GOODNESS I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA must take notes, one moment pleaseeee.

Okay, so I have four bullet points for relationship arcs and an idea to adjust one of the storylines--I’d say I have six main characters, two of whom are really the protagonists, two of which are my favourites, and the other two are fun, but in need of development. They’re split into a group of four and a pair, and I’m definitely more into the storyline of the four, mostly because the four contains my two favourites, and it’s more developed than that of the pair.

I’ve been keeping a list of things to add: motivations, loose plot threads, plot points I want to include--I really need to re-organise it.

On another note, I am so glad I named the characters as early as I did. I’m debating having two of the characters swap names, but I don’t think I will, because I will absolutely mix them up, and one of them is part of the perfect ship name.

My mouse isn’t working. I changed the batteries, but it’s not working, so now I get the joy of trying to figure out if the batteries I put in are just old or if the mouse no longer works, which would suck.

Yes, I’m going to describe this. Mostly because when I changed the batteries the first time, it took a minute to stop working, and this will waste a minute. So, first set of batteries, which we’ll call set 1, don’t work. I don’t know if it’s both or just one, but if it’s one, I don’t want to throw away both. I take out set 1, I put in set 2. Set 2 works perfectly. So it’s not the mouse. Now I take out battery 2B, and replace it with 1A, so I have 1A and 2A in here. I know 2A works, but I’m not sure about 1A, but the mouse works, so 1A is fine. Let’s replace 1A with 1B.

Yep. 1B is the problem child. 1A works fine, but 1B doesn’t. Lovely. Crisis averted. It would’ve really sucked it I had to get a new mouse. And back to writing!

12.13 I’m bouncing between documents as I organise, which means my word count is actually decreasing, so I feel like I’m making significantly less progress than I am.

I just realised my two protagonists are cousins. I’ve had it in my head that one’s father was the brother of the other’s father, but somehow I didn’t realise that makes them cousins.

I’m about to delete a list because I’ve reformatted it--my word count is currently at 1,958, but is really about to drop.

AND NOW WE’RE AT 1,572. My session word count is -32. Minus thirty-two. I hate it here, but it’s fine, because we’re ~developing~.

15/06/2021 - 2,113 words 09.39 It’s not even technically summer yet, but it’s too hot, and I hate it here. All the windows are open, so everything’s cool, there’s a nice breeze, and lots of light, but the birds are so loud, and I have to keep all the doors closed because the open windows send them swaying and slamming. You know when you close a door when all the windows are open and it slams? Yep. Not into it.

I feel like every day I try a new way to organise my plotting. I’m unsure as to whether that’s helping me or holding me back, because it forces me to review what I have, which usually sparks new ideas, but I’m not convinced I’ll ever get to the end as long as I keep doing this.

21/06/2021 13.40 I spent the latter half of last week with zero motivation, then I was busy at the weekend, but I’m here now. I’ve been trying to make myself write basically all day--I have a plan, and a list of things I’ve come up with the last few days, but I just couldn’t make myself do it. I’m not in a good mood, but maybe this will help.

I have, however, just reminded myself that I need to prepare this week’s post, because I sincerely doubt either this or my ongoing Recent reads will be ready for Friday. Actually, if I do quite a bit of writing this week, this post might be, but I’m not willing to bet on it.

And oh, crap, now I just want to write a blog post.

No. No I don’t. I started looking at the list of ideas I had, and now I’m just not feeling it. I’m pretty sure when I open my document for this project I’ll lose all motivation too, but it’s worth a shot.

There’s a specific relationship in an anime I recently watched that I want to pull apart--there’s this ship, and the author of the manga has called the two characters ‘soulmates’. There’s just this huge amount of tension between the two, and I want to re-watch the show because I love it, but also so I can take notes to figure out what was so effective about it.

13.53 I’ve been doing this for 13 minutes, but I do think I need to leave this project/outline alone for a bit, give it an opportunity to ruminate, to evolve. In truth, I may not even come back to it until I’ve re-watched the anime I was talking about so I can tear that ship to pieces.

17.33 So I just learned brainstorming is apparently significantly easier on paper. Hm. I’ve just worked out so damn much, stuff I’ve been struggling with.

18.00 I have successfully tied up so many plot threads, simply by working with pen and paper. This is revolutionary. (I know, not really, but it is for me, someone adamant about working with a keyboard and monitor)

22/06/2021 09.42 Seriously, why did I never try actually working on paper before? Something about holding a pen to paper and scribbling and drawing a mindmap--it just works. I’ve been obstinate about avoiding working on paper because I hate physically writing, yet here we are.

25/06/2021 11.09 I’m really not managing much reading at the moment--since I started reading manga, my attention span has just gone down the drain. I’m currently reading Mister Impossible by Maggie Stiefvater, and I don’t think it helped that I had to stop less than a third of the way in to do a buddy read, but I just don’t have much motivation to read it, though I do so want to. I haven’t been listening much to audiobooks lately either, because when I’d usually listen--when I’m getting dressed, waking up, going to bed etc.--I just want to listen to music, because I also recently fell down the well of k-pop, and the group whose discography I’m getting to know at the moment is BTS. Basic, but they’re the fifth group I’m doing, and they have so many songs. Which would happen after eight years, but still.

I want to read so, so badly, but I just don’t feel like reading Mister Impossible. But I do want to finish it before reading anything else. I think I’ll finish my current audiobook, then if I’m still feeling stagnated in Mister Impossible, I’ll switch to the audiobook of that, then just take a break from reading until I’m ready to actually read.

But this post is for writing, not reading. I did write on the 23rd, but I just didn’t update this post. The 24th I was busy, but my wall is now covered in post-it notes of world-building, characters, gods, plot points, and a whole load of other stuff.

Also, I had an idea for a book title this morning--not for this one, just in general--and when I went to add it to my list, I found a title that would so suit this project. I don’t want to say it, but let’s just say this project will be called ItLotG--or not. That’s a hideous combination of letters. I promise it is actually a good title.

11.52 I’m having another crisis over these two characters. I’m thinking it would make more sense to have L’s betrayal ‘arc’ initiated before the catalyst, or rather have it be the catalyst, except the problem there is that they’re not in the city they need to be in to receive that offer.

UNLESS,,,, what if this point happens just while they’re in the capital.... I’ve got it.

17.16 I’ve been taking notes this whole time of everything I want to happen in books 2 and 3, and I have so much now i think they’ll be so much easier to plot than this one.

The downside of working mostly on paper is that my plans on Scrivener have been refined to one document, which is now only 878 words.

Right now, there’s a glaring hole between the midpoint and the ending, but my climax is one of those where the climax itself is a very small part of a bigger event, so if I figure out what I want to happen in this big event which is essentially the whole of the third act, I should be able to fill in the rest of Act Two with the setup for that.

So I’m leaving it there for both today and this post. In the last month or so, I decided to start over and mash two projects together, which created a whole new storyline I love, and now I’m mostly done with the first outline. I want to treat outlines as more than just preparation for drafts, because I find notes so much easier to edit than actual prose, and I hate writing without a clear idea of where I’m going.

I think I’m going to call these ‘runs’--an outline is a run through, a draft a run through, so I’m nearly done with my first run, and I’m very proud of that, so go, go write the idea you have, drink some water, take a nap if you need one, eat if you haven’t eaten in a few hours, and I’ll be back with another writing update innnnnnn probably august, honestly.

Go write that idea!

3 notes · View notes

sakuraalexia · 3 years

Text

So, 2021 actual plans, for both writing and drawing, at least the ones I have for now. Drawing first:

One thing I had meant to do but couldn’t because I felt sick, it was a picture that was Christmas related, besides Snom, but I had that done a week before the holidays. If you read this story you might get an idea of what it was. But still it counts.

I have two draw this in your style challenges to do, one ends in a few days and the other the end of this month, and I wanna do them both.

This year though I really want to focus on improving things, last year I looked for a way to start drawing digitally without having to sketch manually first, because I wanted to be less limited, and I could do so. And now I also have a new tablet, with a screen, so I think I can improve even more once I get more used to it.

So now I want to try and do bigger and more complicated things, such as better backgrounds, instead of leaving them blank or just put some random colors. Also because I wish to show more of the world I am creating, for my Pokemon region. I’ll still be drawing the characters too, I haven’t finished drawing my OCs like I said I would mostly because I got sick of doing the same thing, but also because I was using a style I was trying out, and that I felt didn’t stick with me too well, style that I changed in the drawings after and that I feel much more comfortable with, so, my OCs will come again, and drawn even better.

I really care about this project I created with a friend 5 years ago, but that we had sort of abandoned because we didn’t hear from one another as often, he’s very busy, but I took it on my hands last year again, and I mean to give it more life at some point. Even writing wise, because all I did so far has been drawn, the writing phase hasn’t started yet, at least when it comes to the story itself, the planning and setting is pretty much done, I need to finish up the plot, because its very long.

Other than this I mean to try and use less references for posing, because I feel like I am still weak in that regard, and anatomy, so I mean to study that better. I don’t mean to get rid of them completely at the start but to be less dependent from them.

I mean to also try to refrain myself from rushing to the finish, as when a drawing of mine starts to come together I tend to rush to finish and post it, and I want to work on being more patient, because after I post I always notice there’s something I haven’t done well or that could have been corrected, that, if I took my time I could have fixed. I’m a rather weird person, I can never get around starting something, but when I do I can’t stop and even rush to finish.

Writing wise:

Being part of a forum we made, starting last year, a “challenge”, which is essentially take a writing project, new or old doesn’t matter, and work on it and try to finish it during the year. Last year I did with my Pokemon region, and that actually got me doing more stuff than I ever did the previous years, and I’d still work on it in the background. I had gotten distracted from writing Beyond the Reality, which was fine though, as it was the first long fic I wrote and finished in years.

However the main project of this year is yet another Borderlands fic, it will be called Sing to the Moon. I had thought at this when it was around Halloween where I drew the Sirens as wolves and it became an idea for an actual AU.

So yes it will be a sort of supernatural AU with humans and werewolves, things are pretty much set as I already fixed the world and its factions and characters, and the plot is almost done too. It might be in 3 arcs as it loosely follows the plot of the BL games, even though not at all faithfully, otherwise I wouldn’t do an AU.

I won’t post this one until its over though, like for Beyond the Reality, because since I have a story with leaving stories unfinished because I tend to lose interest, I’d rather finish them up first then post regularly, without pressure to post a new chapter every now and then, and also I can guarantee constant updates.

In the meantime I’ll just work on whatever I feel like in that precise moment, with writing I tend to go with the flow of things, letting inspiration hit me when it wants to. Inspiration might be anything, a word, a picture, a song, something a friend talked to me.

I’ll still attempt to do challenges too, both writing and drawing, even though with the second one I might be a bit inconsistent, given my condition, for example I can’t do month long challenges anymore or rather, if I do I have to drag them out because my body doesn’t allow me to force myself to draw every single day, but it doesn’t mean I can’t do anything at all.

Anyways, these are my plans, I hope to be able to keep faith to them, and also that games won’t distract me too much heh. I recently got a bunch of new ones haha. ^_^”

#2021 plans #writing #drawing #borderlands #personal projects #ramblings

8 notes · View notes

juniperwindsong · 4 years

Text

In Love & War (3/3)

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has been so kind as to comment on this story and even kinder in their patience for how long it took to complete. I’ve never struggled so much to write anything, and I might still be staring at an unfinished draft if it weren’t for the help of the most incredible, @navirosera, who listened patiently to my ranting, raving, and complaining and provided the spark to help me finish. I really can’t thank you enough.

I have posted the remaining part of the chapter at the bottom so it’s in its proper place. If you’ve already read the first part of this, just keep scrolling till it looks new.

Part 3: Quatervois

You hold your left hand up against the glass of the window. The setting sun catches the diamond of your ring, creating lines of rainbow light. It gives the impression your whole hand is sparkling. You smile. It's only a modest sized diamond set against a pale gold band. But it's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

"Something out there I should be jealous of?"

Arms encircle your waist. A warm body presses against you from behind.

"'Out there'"?" you echo playfully. "Oh, I suppose there is a lovely ocean view. I hadn't noticed."

Felix rests his chin on your shoulder to see what's caught your attention.

"You know, I really ought to get you another one. Something better. With a diamond you can actually see."

You spin around in Felix's arms.

"Don't you dare. I love it. It's perfect."

Felix glances at your hand now resting against his chest. He frowns at the ring slightly.

"Hardly perfect. It's ridiculously small. It barely counts as an engagement ring."

You wrinkle your nose at him. "Then why did you pick it in the first place?"

A hot blush creeps up Felix's cheeks, a sight you find intensely amusing.

"There's a face I don't see often,” you laugh softly.

A change comes over Felix. His eyes widen, and he leans away from you, dropping his arms. He peers into your face intently as if he's seen something he doesn't like. You’re worried you must have offended him.

"I wasn't poking fun," you assure him soothingly. You close the distance he’s created between you, reaching up to take his still heated cheek in your palm. "I like it. Makes you look younger."

Felix's eyes soften. "Do I look old then?"

"Far too old for me." You shake your head in mock concern. "What my friends will say when they discover I've eloped with my prefect, I can't imagine." Your face suddenly clouds. "Why did we elope? Was there a reason? I mean, it was lovely little chapel, but it would have been nice to have my friends there. And Mrs Weasley will be so disappointed when she finds out.”

Felix swallows. “The war, remember?” He hides his face in the crook of your neck. “Everyone choosing sides. We didn't want them to be uncomfortable."

"Oh. Right."

On some level you're aware this doesn't make sense. But the vibrations against your throat send lightning through your body. The answer no longer seems important. You run your hands through Felix's hair as he places hot, slow kisses up your neck, under your chin. When he reaches your lips he murmurs against them: "Let me buy you a new ring. Please."

You shake your head. Your nose nuzzles his with each small movement. "No. This is the one I want."

You’re at a loss for how this sweet statement could cause your new husband to look so unhappy.

"Not again! That's the second time this week!"

The sudden exclamation startles you from your reverie. You lift your head from its resting place against your hand. You’re in the Burrow's kitchen with an irate Mrs Weasley, not a villa in Nice with Felix. The sun setting outside the window had brought the memory back.

Mrs Weasley wads the offensive letter up and throws it into the fire.

"I mean really, and at the last minute, too. So inconsiderate. I suppose that sort of thing is acceptable in France, but you'd think manners would be the same everywhere, wouldn't you? Pass me that cutting board, dear."

You rise from your chair and reach up to pull the cutting board from a high shelf. You could easily retrieve it with magic, but you need the distraction. It's precisely the reason you've moved to the Burrow. Mrs Weasley's strict regimen of conversation and domestic work keeps your mind from wandering. Most of the time.

You offer Mrs Weasley the cutting board, then lean against the counter. You force yourself to pay attention to her diatribe.

“I'm sure it's a phase, but I do hope it will pass soon. Once he grows out of that hair and that earring," Mrs Weasley shudders. "And that's really the most telling, isn't it? Any woman who likes that sort of thing can’t possibly be any good. You don't approve of it, surely?"

You look up from where your gaze has fallen to your hand and shake your head vigorously.

Her opinions safely confirmed, Mrs Weasley returns to the cutting board. She directs her wand to a veritable army of knives that begin dicing vegetables with gusto. "Like I say, very telling. Bill never used to be like this. He would never have dreamed of sending an owl last minute saying he wouldn't be at dinner. I mean really! What if we'd had something important to discuss? What if-"

You stare at the ring on your finger. It's the same one from your memory: a single, small diamond, a band of pale gold. Humble, but an auror's salary isn’t high. And this is definitely the ring Talbott had given you.

You relish the ability to call this memory to mind. You, dusting the curtains in your cheery flat when Talbott suddenly appears behind you. He presses a small blue box wordlessly into your hands. Your heart stops when you open it.

Talbott isn't one for material gifts. You never ask them of him. You had intended, once you were married, to find a simple wedding band to indicate your new status. For Talbott to think of it himself means more than you can say in words. Instead, you spend a long, fervid night showing him.

You close your eyes, savouring the echoes of bliss reverberating through your body. Until a question wheedles its way in like a leech.

Why would Felix have pretended the ring was his? Even for a second? It didn't fit Felix's extravagant style at all. He hadn't been happy with it, that much is clear from your newly remembered honeymoon scene. So why didn't he remove it after obliviating you? Replace it with another?

The inconsistency bothers you. Against your better judgment, you tentatively prod your brain for an explanation. But while your memories from before the fateful spell all seem to be intact, the days immediately after remain fuzzy.

"...talking about visiting her family, and it's much too soon for that. Imagine going all the way to France for a girl he's really only known a short time. I didn't meet Arthur's family until..."

You shake your head firmly, clearing it of unwanted thoughts. You'll never understand what Felix did. You're not supposed to be thinking about him, anyway. You straighten, and interrupt Mrs Weasley mid-sentence.

"Can I do something to help, Mrs Weasley?"

"Oh," Mrs Weasley stops abruptly. "Well, I really only have the potatoes left to mash, and that’s just -"

"I'll do it.”

You walk to the sink before Mrs Weasley can argue. A pot of peeled and boiled potatoes waits expectantly. You tap the masher with your wand and set it to work with vigour. You can feel Mrs Weasley's eyes on you, but you keeps yours fixed to the sink.

After a moment, Mrs Weasley returns to her knives, now scraping the diced vegetables into a bowl. "You know, I was thinking," she says in an airy, would-be-casual voice that instantly puts you on your guard. "I'd planned for four, and it would be a shame to let all this extra food go to waste. Why not invite your young man to dinner?"

The masher spins wildly in the pot, spilling potatoes over the side before you can correct it. Mrs Weasley continues as though she hasn’t noticed.

"It's been some time since you last saw him. And goodness knows, he looks like he could use a solid meal. What he must be eating without anyone to take care of him..."

You remember the assorted debris of take-away strewn about your old flat's kitchen table. A short stab of pain punctures your lungs. Imagining Talbott alone in the ruins of the home you once shared robs you of air.

"Y/N, the masher!"

"What?"

You look up to find the masher dancing across the counter, trailing potato in its wake. You break the enchantment and return it to the pot, then reach for a dish towel. You try to mop up the soggy potato droppings, but your vision is blurred by tears.

The dish towel is plucked gently from your fingers. You look up through wet eyes to find Mrs Weasley peering at you in concern.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I didn't mean to press. I understand if you need more time to-"

"It's not that, Mrs Weasley," you say, through sniffs. "I just...I... I miss him. I miss everything."

"You know, dear," Mrs Weasley says delicately, "Arthur and I have had our fair share of rows. Why, I remember one in our seventh year, nearly ended us. I couldn't eat a bite for weeks. But, there's never a problem two people can't solve if they're just willing to talk through it."

You sigh heavily, wiping your hand across your eyes. You let yourself sink into a kitchen chair.

"Talbott doesn't talk, Mrs Weasley. I'm the one who always solves these sorts of problems. I've never minded, but this time...this time I just don't know how."

Mrs Weasley flicks her wand at the masher. It resumes its duties at a more stately pace, and she draws the chair next to yours.

"Talbott is a good man, dear. A bit strange, and - well, I do admit, I'd rather hoped you and Charlie would...well...that doesn't matter now - what I mean to say is Talbott loves you. I'm sure he doesn't expect everything to be just the way it was all at once. But you have to start somewhere or it'll never come right."

You worry your lip between your teeth. You don’t know what Talbott thinks of you right now, and you’re afraid to find out. But Mrs Weasley's arguments chip away at your fear. You do want to see him again. And Talbott is unlikely to come find you himself.

"I suppose I might...send him an owl."

Mrs Weasley's smile is so bright it hurts to look at it.

"Really? Oh, that's wonderful! I'm so thrilled. Here, let me do it. You go get dressed!"

"What?"

"Well, you can't let him see you in that!"

You look down at your clothes: an old house dress of Mrs Weasley's and a jumper of Charlie's, both extremely baggy.

"Mrs Weasley, Talbott's seen me in just about everything."

"Yes, well, a little bit of effort never hurt. In fact, why don't I pop down to Diagon Alley before the shops close and pick up some of those delightful little cakes he liked so much last Christmas. I'll send the owl on the way. Now go!"

It's useless to argue with Mrs Weasley when she's in this state. You climb the stairs, listening to her chatter to herself as she pulls on a travelling shawl. For the first time in days, you manage a weak smile.

You spend a few minutes prodding your wand across an old summer dress from Mrs Weasley's school days. You've never excelled at the sort of charms Andre used to transform clothes into something magical, but you do your best. The end result, if not exactly fashionable, doesn't look as though two of you might fit in it. You run a brush through the tangled knots in your hair, and, after a minute's debate, decide in favour of lipstick.

You feel distinctly foolish.

It makes no sense to be dressing yourself up to meet the man you've lived with since you left school. Even less so to be this self-conscious about it. But Mrs Weasley's excitement has apparently infected you. Your stomach is full of swarming butterflies. It reminds you of your very first date with Talbott.

You cross to the looking-glass and inspect yourself critically. While you may feel like a teenager again, your reflection shows quite a bit more wear. Your face is pinched and wan, like someone recovering from a long illness. You lean in closer, practicing a smile. Something moves in the corner of the glass.

You whirl around, fumbling for your wand. The room is empty. It must have a been a trick of the light. Instinct puts you on your guard, however, and you inspect the room again, more slowly. As your eyes pass the window, you catch a glimpse of something moving in the yard. You blink, and look again, unwilling to believe your eyes.

Felix is picking his way across the long grass, surveying the Burrow with a mixture of distaste and apprehension.

Your brain stalls. Thoughts peter out as soon as they begin. You don't know what to do, what to think, what to feel.

Felix glances up. You know he can see your silhouette in the window. It's in the way his rich brown eyes suddenly catch fire.

"Y/N, I know you're there," Felix calls softly. "I just want to talk to you. Please."

A battle begins inside you. Part of you wants to hurl a curse out the window at Felix. Part of you wants to hide under the bed. But neither of these are in charge of your feet. You're walking out of the room and down the stairs before your brain catches up to what you're doing. It stops you just before you reach the kitchen door. You can't really be considering this. Felix has proven exactly what he's capable of. Walking out there to him is like walking into a snake pit.

Only this time, you know. You're prepared. You're not the girl of a year ago, naively believing she could be just friends with a Rosier. Nor are you his thrall. Your head is as clear as it's ever been. And you have things you want to say. You clench your hand firmly around your wand, and step outside.

You keep your eyes on your feet as you walk. Just taking even steps requires considerable effort. You stop when you see Felix's shoes. It's several seconds before you're able to raise your gaze to his, and then it takes all your self-control to keep your jaw from dropping.

You've never seen Felix this worse for wear. His robes are so rumpled he might have slept in them. His hair is untidy, his nails unclean. There are circles under his eyes as dark as bruises.

Pity, and something else you refuse to name, well up inside your throat. The desire to put your arms around him, to stroke his cheek or straighten his hair, anything to fix his face into something less pained, is overwhelming. You hate yourself for it. You quickly recite every terrible thing Felix has done in your head. But you've never been able to stay angry with Felix when he looks at you like that.

"Y/N." Felix says your name like a prayer. You will your heart not to break. You keep your voice as expressionless as possible.

"What do you want?"

"I - I just want to talk," Felix repeats. "To ex-explain." His impassive mask slips as he stutters. For some reason, this display of nerves inspires you with confidence.

"I already heard your explanations. What else could you possibly have to say?"

Felix rubs his palms against his trousers.

'That wasn't - I mean - I didn't get to...to say everything I needed to. It was all so..." You don't think you've ever seen Felix so lost for words. You grip your wand tighter to stop your hand reaching for him. "I didn't get to explain myself clearly. Explain what happened. Why I...I did what I did."

At these words, your desire erupts into rage. It's almost a relief to finally feel it. You let it boil your blood, vibrate in your limbs. You clench your fist around your wand so tight your knuckles turn white. As if the immensity of Felix's crimes could be summed up in a few simple words.

"You mean, why you obliviated me? Why you erased Talbott from my memories and ruined both our lives?" The bitterness that's festered inside you for weeks spews forth like lava. "You lied to me, Felix! You let me feel like I was going mad! You forced me to marry you, and then kept me locked in your house like a-"

"But I didn't!" Felix's cry is anguished. It only fuels your fury.

"How...dare you! How can you really think I'm that stupid? That I would fall for that? I remember everything Felix! I heard you admit it, and I know I'm not insane. Denying what you've done won't change anything, it just makes you look pathetic.”

Felix flinches as if your word were a curse.

"I'm not denying what I did. I did...obliviate you. And I did lie. But...I didn't force you to marry me."

"Just because you didn't hold a wand to my head doesn't mean I wasn't forced. You can't get out of this on semantics."

"I'm not trying to get out of anything," Felix says quickly. He looks up, staring at a point just near your ear. "Look, I made you forget him...Talbott. I thought...without him to worry about or pressuring you to stay...I could convince you to run. Go visit your relatives in America. But I-I don't know...maybe the spell went wrong. I've never used a memory charm before. But you seemed to forget everything. You weren't sure who you were, or where you were. I was terrified."

Felix takes a step closer. You know you should stop him, but you're hooked to his words. Your anger flounders as you struggle to find this memory, to prove Felix is lying yet again. But all you remember is Felix's wand pointed at you...then nothing.

"I didn't know what to do," Felix continues. "I couldn't just leave you there, or - or send you to another country while you didn't even know your own name. So I...I took you home. With me. I thought...maybe I could figure out a way to undo it. Or something. I don't know, I never had to find out. When you woke the next morning, you were better. Or at least, you knew who you were and who I was. But...I suppose the spell had worked because you didn't remember...Talbott." Felix's fingers twist at his sides. "But then you - you saw the ring and you asked if... we were...engaged."

You look down at the diamond ring on your hand. Something in the way it catches the light reminds you of a moment in the Rosier kitchen: leaning against the butcher's table, your head pounding, a fog across your senses; Felix standing in front of you, as nervous as he is now. You hear your voice ask a question, and you hear Felix's response...

"I didn't know what to say! I didn't know how to explain the ring without mentioning Talbott, and I didn't know what else you remembered or-or how you felt about me. I just...I wanted you. I've always wanted you, so I...I said-"

" 'Only if you want to be'."

Felix's eyes meet yours. There's a soft, eager light in them, as if the memory is something he cherishes.

"You...remember that?"

'I didn't until just now."

You stare at the Felix in front of you, but your mind is faraway. Back in the kitchen, watching Felix wait for your answer. You stood there, your aching mind picking through its tangled memories, sorting through all your moments with Felix. The way he'd always been there for you at school. The way his seriousness made you laugh, and his little touches made you shiver. The decision was as easy as breathing.

"I said, yes," you whisper into the air.

Felix says nothing. He only nods.

The emotions writhing within you evaporate. Anger, desire, everything you've felt toward Felix is suddenly missing. Wind blows, and it sounds like a foreign language. The world around you is as unfamiliar and threatening as a different planet. You don't know how to exist in it. You can only stand, frozen and unsure.

After a minute of silence, Felix continues.

"I know I shouldn't have let you believe it, or - or let it go as far as I did. I should have sent you to America, like I meant to. But... I couldn't help it. I love you. I always have." Felix's hand jerks oddly, as if he meant to take yours before thinking better of it."I told myself it was better this way. That you were safer with me. But...you were right. I did it for myself, and I - I'm sorry. I know it doesn't fix anything, but I am. And, I want...to make it up to you."

This time, Felix lets his hand reach for yours. You make no move to stop him. He strokes your limp fingers delicately, as if they were made of glass.

"I made a mistake, and I - I hate what it's done to you. But I love you, Y/N. You can't pretend I don't. And if you'll let me, I'll spend my life making it up to you."

You can only stare. Your brain has forgotten how to form words. Felix is just beginning to look concerned, when the door to the Burrow's kitchen opens with a bang. The sound breaks your spell, and you rip your hand away.

"Get - off - my - land!"

Mr Weasley marches across the grass toward you, Mrs Weasley and Talbott in his wake. Mr Weasley's wand is stretched out in front of him, but Talbott gets there first. He sends a quick, silent hex flying across the yard. Felix has no time to block it. He throws himself to the ground to avoid the red light, then rolls into a crouch, wand at the ready.

"Come inside, Y/N, quickly!" Mrs Weasley grabs your arm and yanks you away. You let her drag you back toward the Burrow. Your legs are too weak to walk on their own. You watch Talbott hurl spell after spell at Felix, who blocks them as he beats a hasty retreat. He reaches the edge of the Weasley property, and with a last glance in your direction, disapparates.

"Sit here, dear. Let me make a cup of tea." Mrs Weasley pushes you into a chair. "I should never have left you alone, I can't believe I-"

Her prattle is interrupted by the slam of the kitchen door. Talbott tumbles inside, breathing heavily, still clutching his wand. His head swivels until he finds you.

"Why was he here?"

It's the first time in weeks you've stared into Talbott's yellow-gold eyes. They're flashing like you've never seen. You search for your voice. Your brain is still racing.

"What was he doing here, Y/N?"

Talbott stalks closer, his movements rigid. You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. You have no frame of reference for Talbott angry with you.

Mrs Weasley clears her throat. "Now really, Talbott, I don't think that's-"

"He just...came to talk." Your voice is a low rasp, but it cuts cleanly through Mrs Weasley's protests.

"To talk?"

"Yes."

A feral sort of growl escapes Talbott's throat. He turns, kneading the back of his neck viciously. He paces to the kitchen door, then back again, like a caged animal. It's almost frightening. But you're sick of feeling confusion and fear, and you're sick of feeling sorry. You'd rather be angry some more. You stand, letting the rage you couldn't finish venting on Felix flow through you again.

"So you talked?” Talbott spits the words, each syllable tight and clipped. "You talked to him after everything he's done? After you know what he is? He's a Death Eater, Y/N, and a liar. That's who you want to talk to?”

"At least he cared enough to come find me - unlike you." Your words shock Talbott into stillness. “I just disappear, you get some letter that doesn't even sound like me, and you just write me off as lost?"

Talbott is rooted to the floor. He can't move, even as you advance on him.

"What Felix did was terrible, Talbott. But he did it because he loves me."

"You want me to do something terrible to prove I love you?"

"I just want you to do something!"

Talbott's nostrils flare. His upper lip twitches like he's holding back a sneer.

"So, you'd like me better if I were more like Felix Rosier? If I kidnapped you? Cast spells on you to make you do what I want, like a puppet?"

"I wasn't a puppet!" Your vision blurs red, and you lose all control of your tongue. “Felix didn't force me to marry him, Talbott, I wanted to! When I didn't remember you anymore, I realised I was in love with him and I wanted to be with him. That's what he came for. To remind me of that."

The ghost of your words lingers in the kitchen for several minutes, each as long as years. Talbott's face is entirely blank. Mrs Weasley's hands are clapped over her mouth in horror. You don't care. Saying it out loud releases a weight from your shoulders. It leaves you light-headed and exhausted.

"So...you do love him."

It isn't a question. Talbott's voice is resigned. Guilt tugs at your heart, but you can't really feel it. You're too tired to feel much of anything.

"I don't know. I don't know...anything anymore." You fall into the nearest chair. You drop your head into your hands, your eyelids heavy. "I feel like I'm two different people. Like I've lived two different lives. I was happy in both of them, but... I don't know which one I am now. Maybe neither. I don't know how to choose."

Talbott blinks. It draws curtains over his molten eyes.

"You don't have to choose."

He turns and walks away from you, without a backward glance.

There's no reunion dinner that night. Mrs Weasley sends you straight up to bed. You hear her and Mr Weasley conversing in low tones into the wee hours of the morning. You pull the pillow over your head. You don't want to hear what they're saying about you.

It's two days before you're ready to rejoin the rest of the world. Another before you can eat and drink again properly. One more day, and you're participating in conversation, if only to nod or say, "Of course, Mrs Weasley." By the end of the week, you're as close to normal as you were before Felix's unexpected visit.

The days don't bring you any closer to an answer, but they do bring you further from heartache. You find it's easier to turn your mind from memories of Felix now you've confessed your love out loud. It's as if the feeling has lost power over you. Each day, the loss of him hurts slightly less.

The hardest part of your life now is how little you can do for the Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore's task for you reminds you unpleasantly of your school days: to lay low and let others handle it. You would happily ignore this if you thought you might be useful, but the truth is, you don't know how to help. There's no mystery to solve, no secrets to uncover. Just ones to protect.

Still, you attend each meeting, week after week. You help Mrs Weasley with the dinner beforehand and the cleaning afterward. You pay attention to the news that's shared. You contribute what insight your experiences offer.

But mostly you watch Talbott.

Talbott attends almost every meeting, but you never speak and he never approaches. He sits as close to the door as he can manage, and bolts the moment the meeting ends. He's careful never to turn his eyes on you. You watch him just the same. It’s so long since you’ve been in his presence without something horrible happening. Every movement he makes is mesmerizing, the way it always was at school. His sharp nods, his slow blinks, the tapping of his finger against the table you're sure he's unaware of.

You miss Talbott, you realise. Or maybe you just miss the part of your life he represents; the life you built together. The damage done to it seems irreparable. Though you spend many nights wracking your brain, you can think of no way to fix it.

Talbott may choose to ignore your eyes on him, but Mrs Weasley does not. She, at least, is not content to watch and wonder. She renews her encouragements that the two of you talk. She attempts to seat you together at meetings. You deflect her machinations as best you can, but Mrs Weasley won't be thwarted forever.

One evening she insists on arriving at Grimmauld Place earlier than usual. "It's a large meeting tonight, dear," she explains, a little too airily, "so we'll need to start dinner early. And I promised Sirius I would take a look at the drawing room curtains, he thinks the doxies are moving back in."

Sirius is sitting at the end of the kitchen table when the two of you enter. You call a soft greeting, but he merely lifts a hand and grunts. He's staring at a notebook on the table in front of him, as if waiting for words to appear in it. You light a fire with your wand and set water to boil, then begin chopping onions.

As you work, you notice Mrs Weasley shoot furtive glances at the clock. Her attitude is strangely expectant. Something about her nervous energy raises your hackles. When the doorbell clangs, you have a sneaking suspicion who it might be.

"I'll get it!" she says with entirely too much enthusiasm. You narrow your eyes at her as she leaves.

"Bit early, isn't it?" grumbles Sirius. You don't reply. You're listening hard to catch the sounds from the floor above. You hear the front door open, and the murmur of low voices. Your heart stutters as you recognise them both. Mrs Weasley returns to the kitchen with a stiff Talbott in tow. Her face is practically glowing.

"I'm so sorry, dear, Arthur must have got the times mixed up! The meeting's not for another half hour. We're just getting dinner ready, but there's a good bit to do. Perhaps you might be willing to pitch in?"

Talbott stops moving when he notices you. His head darts about the room, searching for an escape. There's a twinge of heartache at seeing him so desperate to get away from you. You turn back to the onions, face burning.

You hear Talbott mumble something about not being much good in the kitchen. Mrs Weasley ignores this entirely.

"Oh, just a bit of slicing. Nothing too difficult! A simple severing charm will work if you're uncomfortable with a knife."

Mrs Weasley drops a cutting board and several loaves of bread on the table. Even with your eyes down, you can see Talbott's hands in your peripheral vision. You wield your knife with extra care, worried you might sever one of your own jittery fingers.

The only sound in the room is the dull thud of blades on wood. After a minute, Mrs Weasley speaks into the awkward silence.

"Well, while I have you two here, I think I'll just pop upstairs and take a look at those curtains. Sirius," she calls, and you hear Sirius stir. "Why don't you show me which room they're in?"

"It's the curtains in the drawing room, Molly."

"Why don't you show me," Mrs Weasley says slowly behind a clenched smile. You can't see her face, but you're sure her eyes are boring into Sirius. He must have taken the hint. You hear his chair being pushed back hastily.

"Oh! Right, of course. I'll show you."

You close your eyes in a plea for patience. You're not sure whether you want to laugh or cry or throw an onion at Mrs Weasley's retreating back. When you open them again, Talbott is watching you. He looks away as soon as your eyes meet.

How long has it been since you were this close to Talbott? Close enough that you could reach across and touch his cheek, if you wanted. If you were still allowed.

Something changes in the room. It takes you a minute to realise what. The sporadic sound of Talbott's knife has stopped. You glance up and find him staring at your hand. You see thoughts race behind his molten eyes.

"What's wrong?" you ask softly, and feel instantly foolish. What isn't wrong in Talbott's life at the moment? You don't expect him to answer, but after a quick gulp he says, "Your ring." He nods at the naked skin of your fourth finger.

Your blush is almost painful. It's been so long since you wore your engagement ring, you've actually forgotten to miss it.

"I...took it off. It didn't feel right...under the circumstances."

Talbott doesn't reply. His head moves in something that might be a nod or a twitch. His eyes return to his cutting board.

You work in silence. A silence you grow quickly to hate. It feels ridiculous to be this uncomfortable around the man you've known for years, a man you know better than anyone else. You used to be able to read his silences so well, interpret meaning from his every change in posture. But you suppose you're both different people now. Each unsure what the other is thinking.

The tension reminds you of something. When you remember what it is, you can't stop a small chuckle. Talbott's head jerks up, eyes registering alarm.

"Do you remember when we first met?"

Talbott only blinks.

"At the start of third year?" you remind him. "When I decided I wanted to become an animagus, and Tulip said I ought to talk to you?"

"I remember," Talbott says. After a beat he adds, "Why?"

"I was just thinking...I think that's the last time I was this nervous to talk to you."

Talbott's eyes shed some of their armor. You catch a glimpse of the man you remember underneath.

"Why were you nervous to talk to me?"

"You were so...intimidating." You smile. It's a rusty, disused expression on your face now. "And you looked like the last thing in the world you wanted to do was talk to me. I was sure you must not like me for some reason."

It had taken so much courage to seat yourself at the Ravenclaw table that day. You'd defeated a cursed vault, battled yetis and werewolves, and Talbott's piercing gaze had made you more nervous than any of them.

You return to chopping, but Talbott remains still.

"I did like you. I'd fancied you since first year."

The knife slices cleanly through the pad of your finger. Drops of blood sprinkle the onions, but you barely notice. You're looking at Talbott in wonder.

"You never told me that."

"Your finger." Talbott nods at your bleeding hand.

"Why did you never tell me that?"

Talbott doesn't answer. He walks around the table toward you. Your heart beats louder with each step. He pries the knife from your suddenly clenched fist, and takes your bleeding hand in his. He taps his wand to your wound and murmurs a spell. The skin seals back up flawlessly. Talbott returns his wand to his pocket, but he doesn't release your hand.

Your gaze is drawn to his face by an impulse you can't control. Talbott's molten eyes are on your mouth. You watch his lips part, his tongue wet them nervously. But he doesn't speak. He doesn't move. You recognise the symptoms. You know he's trapped in his head. There's no parchment or quill to hand, but that tradition really belongs to two different people.

You lean in to Talbott's face until your lips are a breath apart. You pause, waiting for permission. Talbott hesitates, and your heart stops. Then he closes the narrow space between you. Your lips meet, then meet again. You had forgotten what it feels like to kiss Talbott, or maybe it was never like this before. Your lips tingle, and your skin crawls with desire to be touched. Talbott's mouth is careful, almost reluctant, as if he's sure you'll be gone in a moment. You want to promise him you won't be, but neither of you could believe that now.

When Talbott doesn't draw you to him the way you're used to, you pull away. You search his face for answers. Yellow-gold eyes meet yours, begging for something you don't understand. You've always been the one to figure out the next move, but this time you need his help.

"Talbott." Your voice is a whisper. "What do we do now?"

"I don't know," Talbott murmurs. He closes his eyes so you can't see him think.

"I don't know how to fix this," you admit softly.

You lower your gaze to your hands. Your fingers are still twined together.

"Maybe you can't."

You look up, your heart horribly still. "Is that...what you want?"

Talbott untangles his fingers from yours.

"I want you to be happy. Even...if that's not with me."

You don't know what to say. You open your mouth hoping the right words will appear on their own, when he kitchen door bangs open.

Talbott jumps away from you as if hexed. You look up, expecting to see Mrs Weasley.

It's Professor Snape. By itself, this isn't unusual. Snape is a member of the Order, and he attends every meeting he cannot avoid. It isn't his presence that's cause for concern, it's his unfamiliar expression: one of pale fear. A look you've never seen on the forbidding Professor. The implication leaves you cold. If something has happened to worry Snape...

"What's wrong, Professor?" you ask.

"Potter," and even Snape's voice is missing its usual sneer. "Where is Black?"

You must look ridiculous, you think to yourself, sprinting through the Ministry for Magic alongside Talbott and Sirius in a sundress of all things. At school, there was always time to dress carefully before running into danger. But Harry Potter and his friends are trapped in the Department of Mysteries, and you're determined to help, no matter what you're wearing.

"What are they doing here?" Mad-Eye Moody addresses Talbott as the three of you reach the lifts. "They can't be here. They're not aurors."

Both you and Sirius begin to argue at once. Your recitation of all the dark wizards and dangerous creatures you've defeated is drowned by Sirius' roars of, "I'm his godfather!" Your words reverberate through the huge, empty chamber until Moody slams his staff against the ground for silence.

"There's no time. Just get in!"

The four of you squeeze into the lift where Kingsley Shacklebolt, Remus Lupin, and Tonks are already waiting. The small space throbs with tension as the lift makes its impassively slow descent.

"Isn't there another way?" Sirius barks, slapping his wand against his leg.

"No," says Kingsley shortly.

Moody shuffles about to fix his normal, beady eye on you.

"Seeing as neither of you are aurors, and you ought not to be here in the first-"

"I am Harry's godfather!"

"Then make him your responsibility!" Moody snaps at Sirius. "You, Remus, and Y/N: find the students and get them out. Leave the Death Eaters to us."

You give a sharp nod. Talbott shifts uncomfortably next to you.

The lift finally settles. Your party is out and running before the doors click shut behind you. Moody leads the way through the Department of Mysteries labyrinth, a strange instrument in the hand not holding his wand apparently providing him directions.

"This way!" he calls, leading the group through another door.

Adrenaline courses through you as you run. It's a feeling as familiar as your old school robes. This is your element. For the first time in so long, you’re unburdened by confusion or indecision. When you burst through a door to find black-robed figures surrounding two students, you know exactly what to do.

In front of you, the aurors advance on the Death Eaters. Their spells fill the room with light and sound. You wait until the Death Eaters have turned to face this new threat, then descend toward the dark-haired boys, yanking them into a crouch behind a stone step.

"Where are the others?"

You have to shout to be heard over the noise of the duelling around you. The boy with glasses - Harry Potter, you realise by the scar - rips his eyes away from the fight.

"Up there! They're still in that other room." He gestures at a different door than the one you entered through. "The girls are all unconscious, I think. And Ron - one of those brain things got him. You have to help them!"

You twist around, searching for Sirius or Lupin. Sirius is a few rows down, a wide grin on his face as he duels. Lupin, you don't see at all. You cast about for threats, but the boys don't appear to be in immediate danger.

"Stay here," you order them, feeling a bit of a hypocrite. "Wands out, heads down."

Keeping your body low to minimise your target, you sprint up the stairs. None of the Death Eaters have a glance to spare for you, and you make it to the door unmolested. Before you push through it, you can't help but look back, scanning the fight for yellow-gold eyes.

Talbott is dueling a Death Eater nearly twice his girth. You watch, transfixed. You've never seen Talbott move like this. He's usually twitchy, better in the air than on his feet. Now, as he duels, his movements are smooth and precise. He twists to avoid a purple spell, then spins back, sending a stunner of his own. It catches the Death Eater in the chest, and he drops instantly. In spite of everything, you grin.

As if able to feel your gaze, Talbott's eyes find yours across the room. You nod your head at the door to indicate your direction. Then, with a last look at Talbott, you hurtle through.

Desks and shelves and heavy tables indicate the room is some sort of office. Only every single piece of furniture is now overturned or collapsed. You step with caution, but still manage to slip. The floor is slick with liquid. You notice strange, jelly-like objects floating in the shallow pools - the brains Harry Potter had mentioned? You take care to avoid them as you search for signs of the students.

"Hello?" you call softly. There's no answer.

You reach the middle of the room and survey your surroundings. There's a door just ahead; another to the side. You're considering which is more likely when you hear shallow breathing nearby. You ready your wand, then hesitate. It could be one of the students, hiding from you. Ron or Ginny would know you right away, but not the others.

"It's alright," you call again. "I'm here to get you out. I'm a friend. I'm with the Order."

"Well, hello, Friend with the Order."

You whirl around. A tall figure in a black hood emerges from behind a fallen cabinet. Without pause for thought you yell, "Stupefy!" but he easily sidesteps the spell. You cast a quick shield charm, blocking his return attack, then steady yourself for another. But the Death Eater hesitates. His hood flicks to a space over your left shoulder. On instinct, you dive to the side. Red sparks explode through the air where your body had been, thrown by a second Death Eater behind you. His spell hits the other masked figure in the arm and he howls in rage and pain.

"Watch where you're aiming!" he snarls, clutching his injury.

You use the second's distraction to throw yourself behind a desk. You lean back against it, breathing through your nose and thinking past your racing heartbeat. The wreckage of furniture forms an almost unbroken wall for several metres. If you can just make it around without them noticing...

One of the Death Eaters shouts a curse. Red light slams your hiding spot into the wall with a crash. But you're already two desks away, flat against the floor and crawling carefully. Your dress snags as you press close to the wall of splintered wood.

"Just kill her!"

"Rosier said not to kill until we're sure Malfoy has the prophecy. You want to go back to the Dark Lord empty-handed?"

"That's the students, not the Order members.'

These words make your heart stutter horribly. Your hand slips on the wet floor.

"Over there!"

Heavy footfalls sound nearby. You straighten, but only make it to your knees before two hooded figures loom over the desk. There's time to aim a stunning spell at only one. The Death Eater you hit drops instantly, but your stomach still clenches in dread. The other's wand is pointed at your face and his spell is already half voiced.

"Avada-"

You throw yourself flat, your only hope that the spell might miss. You hold your breath, waiting for bright green light.

But the rest of the curse never comes. There’s the thud of a body hitting the floor. Then rapid footsteps. You roll over quickly, wand at the ready.

"Y/N?"

Felix's black hood is thrown back. His rich brown eyes gaze down at you, swimming in fear and relief. You squeeze your own shut to stop yourself staring. It's been so long since you've seen that expression, you'd forgotten how much you missed it. Or maybe you've never been so glad to see it. You take in large gulps of air, trying to catch your breath.

"Are you alright? What are you doing here?“

Felix's panicked words remind your of your mission. You push yourself up with a groan, skin smarting where it's smacked the hard floor. Felix bends hastily, holding out a hand. You hesitate for only a second before letting him pull you to your feet.

It's a moment before either of you can speak. Felix inspects you from head to toe, presumably searching for injuries. You straighten your dress, trying to hide your blush. You wish you were wearing something more substantial.

"I...thank you...I guess," you say at last, to your shoes. You're not quite ready to look Felix in the face.

Felix doesn't answer. You lift your gaze, head buzzing with nerves, and catch him staring at your hand.

"You're...not wearing your ring," Felix says haltingly. An eager light flickers briefly in his eyes. "Are you and Talbott...not-"

Your face contorts in annoyance. You cross your arms to hide your hand.

"Is this really the time?"

Shaking his head as if to clear it, Felix answers, "No. No it's not." Hints of concern reform on his features. "Y/N, you have to go. Now."

"I'm not going anywhere,” you insist hotly. “Not until I find the other students."

"They're safe. Relatively. As safe as I could manage. If the aurors hurry, they can get them out in time.”

"What do you mean, as safe as you can manage?"

"We have them rounded up in another room," Felix explains rapidly, eyes darting nervously to the doors. "I convinced the others we could use them as leverage, so they're not about to be killed. I'll make sure the aurors finds them, I promise. Just trust me."

At the word We, you can't suppress a shiver. It isn't the pleasant sort of shiver Felix usually inspires.

"Trust you?" you repeat, adjusting your grip on your wand. "You're a Death Eater, Felix."

Felix makes a noise of exasperation. He shuffles in place, as if desperate to be gone.

"That doesn't mean I want students to be killed. I'm not a murderer."

"How could I know? You've already proven you're more than willing to lie to me when it suits you."

"That was to keep you safe! " Felix almost shouts in frustration. "Exactly what I'm trying to do now!"

He makes a sudden movement as if to grab your shoulders. You jump back, wand lifting on instinct. Felix freezes. He eyes your wand, and perhaps you're only imagining hurt in the lines of his face. When he speaks again, his words are fast and strained.

"Y/N, I made a mistake. An awful mistake, and I'm paying for it every day I'm not with you. Every day I wake up and realise I have - have nothing." Felix's voice cracks briefly. "I know I deserve that. I deserve for you not to trust me. But you have to believe that all I want in the world is get you out of here alive."

You wish you didn't believe him. It would make everything so much easier. But in spite of his crimes, your instinct about Felix hasn't changed. You can't imagine him ever doing anything to hurt you. On purpose, anyway.

"If that's true," you say softly, "Then help me get the students out. Because I'm not going anywhere until I do."

It's clear from Felix's grimace how much he dislikes this plan. He runs desperate fingers through his hair, searching for cracks in your resolute expression. But your face remains firm. Felix is finally forced to sigh.

"Alright. Follow me."

Felix leads you through the twisting labyrinth of rooms and corridors, most showing evidence of a fight. Doors are splintered or hang off hinges, and you have to watch your feet to avoid scattered piles of broken glass. You're just beginning to be concerned about how far in you are when Felix stops outside a heavy, un-battered door. A low mutter of voices carries from inside.

"Stay here," Felix whispers. Catching sight of your raised eyebrows, he adds, "Please. There are guards. I'll need to get rid of them."

"I can help," you whisper back, but Felix shakes his head. Only your desire to find the students quickly keeps you from further protests. Reluctantly, you lean against the wall out of sight of the door. Felix readjusts his black hood before sweeping into the room.

As soon as the door clicks shut behind him, you press your ear to the jam. You can hear Felix's footsteps walking away, his voice mingling with the others. You lean in closer, trying to make out the words, until a deafening bang from inside makes you flinch. You hear footsteps again, this time coming closer, running fast across hard floor. You grip the doorknob but hesitate, unsure whether to intervene.

Someone shouts an incantation. There's a heavy thud, and a voice cries out in pain. Felix's voice. Without thinking, you grab the handle and fling the door wide.

It takes you only a second to locate Felix, hood askew and blood dripping from his face, on the floor in the middle of the dimly lit room. Another hooded figure looms over him, wand out and aimed.

"Stupefy!"

Your jet of light hits the Death Eater square in the chest. Without waiting to watch him fall, you swing your wand from side to side, searching for enemies. But the only other robed figure you see lies prone beside a door set into the opposite wall.

Felix groans. You step forward quickly, holding out your hand and helping him struggle to his feet. There's a long, clean gash down the side of his face. You're surprised at how sick the sight of the wound makes you.

"Are you alright?"

"I - yes, of course. That was..." Felix rubs the back of his neck, not quite able to meet your eye. "Thank you."

You're saved from thinking up a reply by a muffled cry from behind. Three girls and a boy, all dressed in Hogwarts robes, are huddled against the wall as if thrown there, each trussed up in snaking, black cords. Only one is awake and struggling.

"Ginny!"

You skirt the fallen Death Eater and drop to the ground, using your wand to sever Ginny's bonds. As soon as you tug the cord out of her mouth, Ginny croaks, "Y/N, he's one of them! He's a Death Eater, too!"

You follow her frantic gaze to Felix, standing awkwardly in the background.

"It's alright, Ginny. He's a friend."

Felix blinks, and for a moment his face is filled with the soft joy you love so much to see. Then a door slams.

Felix whirls around, wand raised, and you're on your feet only a second later. But no attack comes; no spells fly. You glance between the doors on either end of the room, but no new hooded figures appear. Instinct suddenly chills your blood and you scan the floor instead.

"Where's...the other one?" you ask haltingly.

Felix's eyes widen as he understands. He shoots a panicked look at the place where the Death Eater had fallen, but his body is nowhere to be seen. Felix sprints to the far door, pressing his ear against it.

"He...must have gone to get the others."

Felix runs his wand across the door frame, sealing it with a squelch. You turn back to Ginny, struggling to stand on what looks like a broken ankle. You mutter, "Episkey" and watch the swelling in the ankle subside, then inspect the other three students. It isn't immediately clear what's wrong with them, but none react when you attempt to use magic to wake them.

"We'll have to carry them," you tell Felix, at your side once more. "You take Ron and I'll get the taller girl. Ginny, do you think you could carry the blonde one? She looks the lightest."

"This isn't going to work." Something in Felix's voice makes your skin crawl.

"Why not?”

"It’s too late. The rest of the Death Eaters will be here in minutes. Even if we use magic to carry them, we'll never make it to the lifts in time."

A leaden weight sinks in your stomach. There's too much truth in Felix's words for you to deny. You cast about for counterpoints, solutions, some sort of foolproof plan, but your brain comes up short.

"Well," you say, forcing yourself to breathe through your panic, "We'll just have to try. Maybe there's somewhere we can hide, or-"

A second slam in as many minutes almost shatters your brittle nerves. You fumble with your wand, aiming it at the door nearest you this time, and almost drop it when you recognise the intruders.

"Talbott," you breathe in relief. "Tonks, Lupin, thank Merlin! The students are here and we've got to get them out. Now. Death Eaters are on the way..."

But Talbott's face steals the words from your lips. He's staring at Felix with eyes so molten they might be made of fire. When he speaks, his voice thrums with suppressed hatred.

"Drop it." Talbott gives a curt nod at Felix's half-raised wand.

Felix's gaze flicks warily from Talbott to Tonks, her wand also lifted, to Lupin, ignoring the stand-off and kneeling to inspect the unconscious students. You notice all three are pale and grim-faced, and you wonder what else has happened. But there isn't time for questions now.

"I said, drop it!"

"Talbott, wait!" You step quickly in between the two men. "Felix led me here. He was keeping the students safe."

Talbott doesn't even blink. If it weren't for his reply, you'd wonder if he heard you at all.

"One half-decent act doesn't make him any less of a Death Eater."

"But he isn't helping the Death Eaters, he's helping us! Helping me. He saved my life from a Death Eater that-"

"This isn't about you!" Flame flickers in Talbott's eyes. "This isn't about us. This is my job. We're rounding up all the Death Eaters. You'll have to plead his case to Mad-Eye, if that's what you want."

The thought of trying to convince Mad-Eye Moody to give Felix a second chance makes you blanch. You open your mouth to argue, but this time it's Felix who cuts you off.

"You won't have to worry about in any of that in a minute. A dozen powerful wizards are on their way through that door." Felix jerks his head toward the other end of the room. "I highly doubt you'll be able to round them all up just the three of you."

Talbott spares a wary glance at the far door.

"He's right," Tonks chimes in, her voice uncharacteristically serious. "Let's get the students out first, then come back with Mad-Eye and the others."

Tonks lowers her wand, and moves to help Lupin with the unconscious teenagers. Lupin has already lifted the taller, bushy-haired girl over his shoulder, and uses his wand to levitate the unconscious Ron. Tonks mirrors his spell on the small, blonde girl. She wraps her free arm around Ginny to help keep weight of her still-tender ankle.

"We'll never make it at that pace," Felix says darkly, eyeing the careful way Lupin manoeuvres Ron toward the door. "They'll catch us up before we're halfway to the lifts."

"You're not going anywhere until you drop your wand!" Talbott tries to point his wand around you at Felix, but you move with him, blocking his view. Behind you, Felix snorts.

"And leave myself unarmed when they all surge in at any second? I've betrayed them! They'll spare me about as much mercy as they will you."

A soft sound from the far end of the room suddenly stops your heart. All three of you fall silent as you watch the doorknob turn slowly. It rotates each way once, then stills. You hold your breath, braced for another loud slam, but the door remains closed.

"Tonks," you say into the trembling silence, "You and Lupin, take the students and go."

Lupin is two steps ahead of you. He has Ron through the door already, and waits impatiently for Tonks. But Tonks looks from you to Talbott uncertainly.

"I think...we ought to stick together."

"We'll be right behind you," you say. "We'll give you time to get to the lifts." You try to smile reassuringly, but your mouth doesn't remember how. You can only hope you sound more confident than you look.

Tonks continues to hesitate, until a hard thud on the opposite door makes her and Ginny both jump.

"Come on!" Lupin calls from the other room. Tonks shoots a final, unsure look at Talbott before forcing the eerily floating blonde student ahead of her through the door.

Another thud, then the sound of voices echoes from the other side of the room. The doorknob rattles again, violently this time. The noise seems to shake Talbott from his unswervable anger. His wand wavers before finally abandoning Felix for the far door, his eyes reflecting frantic thought.

"What spell did you use on the door?" you ask Felix, your voice betraying your nerves. Felix's answer is equally unsteady.

"It's a variation on an imperturbable charm. But it's not impenetrable. With enough of them, they can break the spell." Felix's head snaps toward you, mouth set in a thin, grim line. "Y/N, you need to leave. Now. Go with the others."

"That's ridiculous, we stand a better chance with three of us.“

"He's right." Both you and Felix look at Talbott in shock. For the first time since entering the room, Talbott meets your gaze. "You need to go."

"I'm not leaving you," you argue, holding Talbott's eyes. You're close enough that you can watch the fire in them melt into liquid, like a churning yellow-gold ocean.

"Please, Y/N, go." And there's a pain in Talbott's voice like you've never heard. "I can't lose you. Not again."

Your heart breaks gently at Talbott's confession. Exactly as it had when he first managed to pen those words. You wish you could promise him something, anything to assuage his fear. But the far door is shaking now. You've run out of time. You take a breath, steeling yourself for a last stand, the way you have so many times before. Facing death is nothing new for you, but you don't want anything to be left unsaid if it comes.

"Talbott." You close the distance between you in short, measured steps, as though worried he might fly away. "I did get lost...but I found my way back. You led me back. And I'm not going anywhere. Not ever again. I - I promise." Your fingers brush Talbott's softly, asking permission. "Whatever happens, happens to both of us."

Talbott's fingers close around yours on instinct. He grips your hand tightly, all his attention on you as if there were nothing else in the room.

"Do you mean that?"

You can only nod, your words exhausted. But he sees the answer in the spark of your eye.

"Y/N." Talbott releases your hand to reach for your face. He strokes your cheek in careful wonder like he's forgotten how. You close your eyes, reveling in his touch.

"Go."

The word startles both of you. Talbott let his hand fall abruptly. You turn to face Felix, unable to hide a slight blush. Talbott's mere touch has made you so dizzy you can't comprehend Felix's meaning right away.

"What?"

"Go. Both of you, go." Something has changed in Felix’s voice. It's no longer nervous. It's no longer anything. It's empty and lifeless, like the voice of a corpse. "I'll distract them. Tell them some story. Buy you enough time to get to the lifts."

You shake your head slowly. "No...Felix, that's...there must be some other-"

Felix takes your chin delicately in his hand, and your voice trails away. You feel Talbott shift beside you, but Felix moves no closer. His empty eyes merely wander your face, as if trying to memorise each part of it.

"Y/N. Let me do this. For you. I-" His voice cracks like dead leaves. "I never meant to hurt you."

The pounding on the far door intensifies. The heavy wood splinters, and light pokes through from the other side. If anything else can be seen, your vision is too blurry to catch it. You close your hand around Felix's, trying to blink back the tears. There's so much you want to say to him. To this man who handles you so delicately, looks at you like treasure, loves you like you're the only thing in the world that matters. But you aren't sure there are words to explain how you feel. You can only nod, and say inadequately, "I know."

Felix releases your face, then locks eyes with Talbott.

"Keep her safe."

Talbott's jaw tenses once before he manages a short nod. He grasps your hand again and tugs you gently toward the door.

You take a last look at Felix Rosier, watching you walk away from him.

"Go," he says once more.

Felix turns to face the oncoming noise. And you turn and run the other way, Talbott at your side.

You don't stop running until you reach the lifts. Talbott guides you back through the labyrinth of rooms, never loosing his grip on your fingers. There's no sign of Tonks, Lupin, and the students, and you can only hope distantly that they've made it out alright. Once inside the lift, you throw yourself against the wall. Your breathing comes in short, painful gasps and hot tears still threaten the corners of your eyes.

"Are you alright?" Talbott's voice is so quiet you almost miss it under the sound of blood pounding in yours ears.

You glance up at Talbott, blinking through your tears. He stands stock still, eyes alert and tense. You choke back a mad laugh. It reminds you forcibly of teenaged Talbott: the awkward, anxious boy you fell in love with almost instantly, whose stillness hid such depths and inspired the best in you.

"Yes," you answer honestly, wiping your eyes. "I'm - I'm alright." You take a shuddering breath, trying to settle your swirling thoughts. "Talbott... I-"

There's no time to worry about finding the right words. Talbott takes your face in his hands and stops you with a kiss like wildfire. He clutches you to him, dragging his hands across you artlessly, trying to pull you into him until you occupy the same space. It's a closeness you've craved for so long, and your hands are no less wild. You can never have enough of this. Enough of him.

You tear your lips away, gasping for breath, but Talbott won’t release you. You're forced to speak against his neck as he clings to you for life.

"Talbott, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." You repeat the words over and over. You can't think of anything else to say. Talbott's head shakes where its pressed against yours.

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

"What?"

You struggle to ease Talbott’s hold on you just enough so you can meet his molten eyes.

"You've always come after me. All the time I've known you, our whole lives - I run and you come find me. And the one time you needed me to come find you, I didn't. I was...too afraid." Talbott tangles his fingers in your hair, closing the fraction of space between you again, until his forehead rests against yours. "But this time, I promise...I won't let you go. Not ever again."

For once, it's you that can’t give your thoughts voice. When the lift doors open, you and Talbott are still clasped together, speaking softly in a language that communicates feeling better than words ever could.

Epilogue

"Good morning," you whisper huskily in your husband's ear.

He groans without opening his eyes. You giggle softly, trailing breathy, teasing kisses up his neck, under his chin. His lips part, inviting yours into a lazy, lingering kiss. When you pull away, his eyes remain firmly shut.

"You're sleepy this morning," you murmur.

Talbott cracks an eye. "You know, some people sleep in on their honeymoon."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm. Some people even enjoy it."

You trace his collarbone with a finger. You can hear Talbott's breath catch.

"Strange. I enjoy my waking life a lot more than dreams."

Talbott stirs, at your touch or your words. He rolls you over in his arms until you're pinned beneath him. You revel in the sensation of being very slightly crushed by the body you adore.

"What's so great about it, then?" Talbott asks in dry amusement. "The smell of the sea, or the sound of the waves, or the room service that means we never actually have to get out of bed?"

You grin, and shake your head against the pillow. "None of the above."

"Really?"

"Really." You trail your fingernails lightly up and down Talbott's back, savouring the feel of his warm skin. Talbott shudders under your hands. He locks eyes with you, his molten, yellow-gold stare saying everything you love to hear. He leans down to murmur against your lips:

"What then?"

You smile. Your mouth meets Talbott's and you say in between tantalising kisses:

"I'm Mrs Talbott Winger. I'm your wife. I'm on my honeymoon - in the middle of a war, where we're being constantly hunted - but...I'm with you. So I'm better than safe."

Talbott's only response is another kiss, but you know exactly what he means.

#felix rosier #talbott winger #felix rosier x mc #felix rosier reader insert #Talbott winger reader insert #Talbott winger x mc #felix rosier fanfiction #talbott winger fanfiction #hphm fanfiction #hphm #hogwarts mystery #hogwarts mystery fanfic #juniper windsong #reader insert #love triangle #dark!

97 notes · View notes

niralamba · 5 years

Text

Xavier against Magneto

interview for GQ México, May 2019

link to the source below =>

In an interview, the actors James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender tell us about their participation in Dark Phoenix and their history behind the X-Men saga. James McAvoy has it clear, he is jealous of Michael Fassbender and the rest of the cast in the x-men saga. The reason is simple: he would have liked for Professor Xavier to have a suit too. One very showy, a superhero one, and yes, he is a little bit jealous. "Yes, a little, the truth is I would have liked to wear an attractive superhero costume, even so, I have the look of an action man with a turtleneck, which I like" says Professor X and his reflection comes after a decade to be in the skin of the mutant leader and when many point out that the mutant path has come to an end. Sometimes, memory fails and more with superheroes movies, because the first thing that comes to mind is the marvel cinematographic universe, the MCU monopolized our attention the recent 10 years, however, if we analyze it carefully, those who marked the pattern for the action genre of the 21st century was the mutants and they got it through the first X-Men (2000) by Bryan Singer. Dark Phoenix is the twelfth feature film of the franchise and the fourth installment of a series that continues to explore the origin of its characters. And also it would seem that it wants to play with our heads, what is known as a deja vu, why? Everything points out that the film is closing the circle of its era with 20th century fox before Disney takes control of the rights of the franchise and will do so adopting one of the most complex storylines among its fans, the dark phoenix created by Chris Claremont and John Byrne in 1980. Some years ago, the franchise of x-men first class (2011) managed to renew the popularity of the series thanks to the exploration of the origin of the enmity between Professor Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr aka Magneto, generating more than satisfied viewers and with the expectation of seeing more thanks to the work of two actors who are not only the pillars of this story, but in recent years emerged as icons of Hollywood and world cinematography, and what better to chat with them about what it holds for this movie (and what the future may leave) A FAMILY MORE THAN MUTANT. If something they have in common the trajectories of McAvoy and Fassbender is that their natural histrionic talent has allowed them to diversify and not fall into an interpretation stereotype, from one film to another we see them in very different characters, disparate, for example: Michael looked futuristic and chaotic as David in Prometheus, while James showed off his talent in Split and Glass playing Kevin and his multiple personalities. But x-men has something special for them, something that motivates them to come back and repeat "I think it's a combination of several factors" says McAvoy "We all enjoy playing these characters as I do, I love this company of actors, here there's a true family that goes back 10 years ago and for which you feel a lot of loyalty and affection " In that sense, Michael agrees with that idea and delves into what it's like to be a fundamental member of this family. "I love the journey that has led to Dark Phoenix and I specifically wanted to return, because Simon Kinberg would direct, I wanted to do everything I could to make things turn out well, he is a fantastic collaborator and seeing him in the director's chair made me very emotional" says Michael, highlighting the fraternity that has been formed within the production crew, although it's not the only reason that motivates them. The depth of their characters, as they have evolved throughout the movies, in addition to the political and social settings where they are developed are also excellent pretexts. The mutant phenomenon within x-men brings to the table racial issues, class, social inequality, prejudice and the reasoning of these issues, through their characters is, in essence, the pillar of the franchise. Magento seeks to locate his race above the pyramid and Xavier appeals for equality with humans, but how do they develop in this new delivery? What evolution we will see from Magneto and Xavier? Michael answers enthusiastically "Finally he has become the leader of Cuba that has always lived inside him! (Laughs) He has formed Genosha, his own community: an independent state/nation where the mutants live in harmony, without being attacked and in where anyone who agrees to help can be incorporated, is a self-sufficient community, not locatable and that was the struggle of Erik during the franchise " For his part, McAvoy makes it clear that the professor also presumes a profound transformation "Charles may be the leader of a social movement, but now he is the leader of a political movement, I think that's what he looks like now. which justifies by saying that he is loyal to his principles, although it seems to me that he has forgotten that those principles only exist to protect his family and his species, Charles somehow has forgotten that" says James, almost in love with his character. It's true, Dark Phoenix's argument is one of the most popular and puts one of his allies Jean Grey in direct confrontation with them, a situation that drives the characters to join forces, rethink their current situation and evolve. "What I find most interesting about Charles is that he is not selfish and he is not very vain, he is very wise and his empathy is what drives him and his detachment and almost sacerdotal nature are what defines him. somehow that disappeared in the two previous films and returns in this one. It was something that I liked, I really enjoy exploring that notion of fallibility" James finishes. REVENGE TIME. In Latin America, Simon Kinberg's name may not be as popular, but he is a select member of the mutant family, he has written and produced previous installments of the franchise, such as Apocalypse, Days of Future Past and he also wrote The Last Stand. Now his revenge has arrived. On this occasion, Kinberg debuted as a director and his place in that chair was something natural for Fassbender who knows and appreciates him. "Kinberg was very relaxed, very confident, he seemed to be doing this for years, he is also a very intelligent man, he is the kind of person who doesn't speak unless he knows about the subject, he observes, he listens. That makes a great director" Says Michael. While James, in turn, points to the particular style that the director printed on his debut. "The interesting thing was his instinct to make the film something more subtle, based on the performance, we're still going to have a show, but that was his way of doing it, going down to make it look more real. of the emotional drama "says McAvoy. Added to the cast is the consecrated Jessica Chastain (Zero Gravity, The Help) and her participation, although she is not the star, is key in Phoenix's journey to this dark stage. She is one of the reasons for her unbalance, to keep her out of control. Although her skills in front of the camera were that this duo almost completely missed. "It was great that she joined," emphasizes Fassbender. "But we didn't have many scenes together, just a few moments in the final scene, she is present with Jean, so it was mainly through acting patterns that I interacted with her character" James is not left behind the anecdote. "I think we only have one scene together ... unfortunately! In fact, I have a couple of scenes with her character, but she was not there, sometimes, it was just a special effect, one of the reasons she says that she took the job was because she expected to meet and act with me, but barely and we crossed paths! " RISE OF THE PHOENIX. When Sophie accepted the role of Jean Grey, surely she knew that in her hands she had a vital character for this cinematographic stage who, incidentally, is considered by experts as the most powerful female figure in the Marvel universe. In Apocalypse, Phoenix only had a few flashes of its potential, although it made it clear that in this movie it would have greater strength. Fassbender, from the beginning of his participation, was more interested in the weight of the different female characters but clarifies that the conjuncture we saw today did not influence for this to happen. In fact, that was the original idea almost 10 years ago. "I think the seeds of female roles were present, Simon had some unfinished issues after The Last Stand, he wrote the script! So that was already there, and at the moment this happens, it seems to be in sync with what happens in the real world, but Simon has always thought this way, equality in everything, both for female characters, as for male ones ", he concludes. With the premiere getting close, the fate of Jean Gray along with Professor Xavier, Magneto and the rest of the X-Men will be solved, and Dark Phoenix will unveil us if it represents the end of this cinematographic universe that infected of emotion the audience, it also had inconsistencies and errors. In this last letter, we will see until the final credits. For now, neither Fassbender nor McAvoy knows what the future holds for what they consider as one of their most endearing characters. "As far as the X-Men are concerned, I've always said: If this is the last one, it's been great, we have new owners of the franchise and who knows what they're going to do? But if this is the last one narratively, it feels like a good ending " James concludes. goodbye mutants?

#Michael Fassbender #fassy #fassbender #james mcavoy #x-men dark phoenix #gq #interview

89 notes · View notes

dlamp-dictator · 4 years

Text

Allen Rambles about Dusk Diver

I finished playing Dusk Diver, a small beat-em-up by JFI Games. I originally played it because it was on sale, I’ve had my eye on it for a few months now, and I needed a break from DMC5 for a bit. And boy do I have some thoughts about it now that I’m done with the game. Namely a bunch of nitpicks, but... we’ll get there in time.

But as always, let’s start with that Synopsis.

Dusk Diver takes place in the Ximending district of Taipei, Taiwan. The story focuses on Yumo Yang, a Taiwanese high school senior that got caught up in a spiritual adventure over her summer vacation. While out with her friend she was randomly pulled into the alternate dimension of phantoms and demons. Before she was about to get killed by one a local loin god protects Yumo by (accidentally) transferring his powers to her. After she fends off the phantoms she decides to help clean her city of phantoms over summer break with the god’s help, along with the help of his eccentric and frugal boss... Boss.

The plot takes off from there as Yumo pummels phantoms, gains allies, brightens up her town, and learns more about why the phantom and human realms are colliding. I gotta’ say, it’s nice to actually write the synopsis without having to either look at wiki article or outright copy it. This game is very simple for both good and ill.

So... what do I think of this game?

Well, unlike Assassins Pride I’ll be going over the bad first and then try to end on a high note, since for all my issues and nitpicks I did enjoy this game very much.

With that said, let’s start with...

The Bad

The Localization

So the localization is very similar to Under Night In-Birth Late[st] in that it feels very unfinished. When I talked about Under Night’s localization I was a little too harsh on it for my current liking and I’ll use Dusk Diver to explain myself a bit better.

Dusk Diver’s localization isn’t bad. I played this game listening to the Taiwanese dub and nothing sounded too off, but the script, the actual words on the screen, were rife with spelling and grammar errors, inconsistent terminology, and even moments where you could read the actual code of the game in the text. This the translation was either rushed, or it didn’t have enough time to really finish it, which makes it feel really sloppy. The said thing is that this game does have a rather charming script despite this, but reading all those errors and trying to correct them in your head can be... annoying.

The RPG Elements

So... this game is a beat-em-up that revolves around doing large combos and keeping up a hit counter to get higher drops of health, SP, TP, and other resources. The main goal of combat is to get combos going, collect SP and TP, and use those to do more damage to the enemies.

So why is there an RPG level up system in this game?

I still have a lot of DMC5′s mechanics ingrained in me, so forgive me if this sounds pushy, but in most hack-and-slash/beat-em-up style games tacking on an RPG-style upgrade system only slows down the overall gameplay.

Let me explain. Every time you complete a level for the first time you gain skill points. You use those points to improve your HP, SP, attack, etc.. This doesn’t feel good to do for this style of gameplay. In most beat-em-ups/hack-and-slash games skill points and similar currency are typically used for new moves or special abilities. DMC5′s red orbs are for new moves, Nero’s devil arms, and a limited amount of health and devil trigger increases. Senran Kagura uses its currency for costumes, accessories, and music, with the mere act of leveling up giving you higher bases automatically and more moves when you reach a certain level that proves you’re familiar enough with your current moveset to expand it. Solely making the numbers of damage and health go up doesn’t make you feel more powerful, it makes you feel like you can just handle the enemies that have gotten a lot more health and do a lot more damage for no reason other than slowing down the gameplay. I’ll save my recommendations for later, but the quick version is that the skill points should be used for more moves, more SP, and Drive duration only, as health and attack feel really arbitrary points to tack on for this style of gameplay.

The Platform/Alternate Gameplay Modes

Not often and namely during side missions for the Boss, but sometimes you have to do platforming segments and reach a certain point on the map and defeat some enemies.

They’re terrible.

Much like Devil May Cry, movement, jumping, and generally getting around feels fine save for me wishing Yumo’s run speed a bit faster. However, precise jumping and general platforming just don’t work. I don’t believe there’s a drop shadow in this game, the jumping itself has much different momentum when trying to maneuver in the air, making some moving platforms a pain to reach, and while the platforms themselves are rather large, the moving platforms go too slow compared to a lot of the fast-paced combat, making it a painstaking wait to get to the next fight.

Again, like DMC, this most platform this game should have is fighting on rooftops. In fact, I believe in the second or third mission you did have to traverse rooftops and it was actually pretty fun. Like I said, the platforms are usually wide enough that even with the wonky jumping it’s not a pain and getting to a higher point on the map and seeing the overall scenery is... nice.

It’s just when you want me to pull off jumps like this is a Mario game is when things get dicey.

But those are all the big issues down, or at least my top three so...

Smaller Issues that Bug Allen

Like I said, I have more nitpicks than actual problems with this game. The game itself is a fine 10-15 hour experience, but there are several smaller issues that just pile up as you play it. It shouldn’t take you out of the game, but they did frustrate me a little. With that said though:

The minimap needs an ability to mark sidequests, it’ll make for a lot less backtracking and random pausing to look at the map and see where I need to go. I understand that this game is a more or less faithful for recreation of the Ximending district, but for non-locals playing this game like me finding locations is rather difficult.

Since this game has visual novel styled cutscenes it’d be nice to have a log button to backtrack conversations just in case you skim over some important dialogue.

On that note, an option to control the speed of the text would be great as well, as I didn’t see one in there initially.

Cutscene Skip Button. It’s annoying to do the hard mode of these stages and having replay cutscenes I’ve already seen. Especially when I’m just hunting for Dragon Vein Shards.

Dragon Vein Shards should be tied solely to upgrades, as using them for plot advancement only adds to the grind... or so I would say if not for me have twice as many of the shards needed for progression every time. Again, I’ll go more in depth when I talk about my desires in a sequel, but for now I’ll just say these items should either be for leveling up or as a sort of collectible.

I’d like the rank system to be more like DMC, tying clear time, damage taken, max combo, and things like all together so that the end goal isn’t just to speedrun a stage for the S-rank.

Can the menu option be mapped to the triangle button like every other game? It kept throwing me off when I tried to pull up the map.

There doesn’t need to be a small cinematic when you do certain guardian attacks. It locks Yumo in place and has a real high chance to miss its target save for bosses.

It’d be best to map items to the buttons instead of the d-pad, as it kept tripping me up when I was trying to heal.

I think that’s it for the major nitpicks, so let’s move onto the the good stuff.

The Good

Story and Theme

The story of Dusk Diver is simple, but effective. You go around saving the district by fighting monsters, you see how those monsters effect the district in each arc, and you solve the problem, usually getting an ally along the way. The few people that are aware of your secret job as a magical martial arts girl, usually the elderly or spiritually attuned, are very supportive toward Yumo.

The game has an overall light, encouraging tone. It wants you to love the city as much as Yumo and Leo do, and it works. All of your side missions have you help out the locals in some way and you gain increased power for the super mode. You work at a convenience store, you partner with the local gods and guardians. Everything you do reinforces the idea of protect, preserving, and understand the town you live in. Yumo gets bonus dragon shard veins by frequently eating at local restaurants and becoming a regular. You help tourists out finding places to visit. You help an elderly man by taking photos of his old stomping grounds and he reminisces on what those old buildings were originally for. You help a coffee shop for free drinks. The list goes on, but a lot of the game reinforces this theme of community and loving the town do so much in. This is a very comfy game despite all the action of bashing demons and phantoms.

Characters

While simple, Yumo as a character is a very cheery girl that just wants to help others. She’s a bit annoyed at being forced to help at first, but she is someone that’s helpful at heart. And seeing her want to protect her friends and town is genuinely heartwarming.

Plus, I really like her design. I’ve always been a fan of simple street clothes, and black with yellow highlights will always sell me on a character.

Your guardians are pretty fun too. Leo’s knowledge of the city and desire to help others really gives him a cool grandpa vibe. Bahet’s a quiet and encouraging guy with a noble background despite his punk fashion. Le Viada is a model with a complex around her age and big sister mentality, the list goes on. Again, these characters are simple, but effective.

Gameplay

While I did have my nitpicks, the gameplay is solid beat-em-up action. Light and heavy attacks with the occasional use of the the guardians. And each guardian has a special ability with their damage. Leo can do massive damage to enemy shields, getting rid of them in one or two shots with his more powerful moves. Bahet can slowly chip away at an enemy with his scythe’s poison effect. Le Viada’s guns can outright ignore enemy armor and punch through it, as well as lay down traps, and... there’s a fourth guardian for when you beat the game. I won’t spoil it, but they’re basically a turret that stays in one place while you summor your other guardians, making her unique as you can’t usually summon two guardians at a time. And like I said before, aiming and lining up certain attacks can be a bit unwieldy since some moves playcinematics that lock you in place, but it’s overall fun. Racking up combos, using big AoE moves, it all feels great.

And with all of that out of the way.

Wishes for the Future

Much like in my Fire Emblem rambling I don’t like the idea of correcting a story or game that’s already been finished, but I find no issue with discussing what I want for the future. And I really thing this game can have a sequel. The game states that Yumo isn’t the first person in recent time with latent spiritual powers, or that this is the first time that the phantom and human realms became loose. And hell, Yumo is still someone that wants to protect her town, so it’d be easy to make a game in another area of Taipei that’s gone out of whack, or even give the reins to someone else. And I do want a sequel.

Like I said, my main issue with this game are some nitpicks that could honestly be fixed with a patch or a two-month delay. If this game sold well enough to get a sequel I’d buy it.

That said, here are a few things I’d like to see in that hypothetical sequel. Such as...

Rankings

A lot of these are going to be taking a page from DMC since I was taking a break from DMC5 to play this, but the ranks shouldn’t be tied solely to clear time. That just makes people speedrun the stage and miss Dragon Veins. Having rank linked to time, combos, hits taken, and so on would give you some breathing room when you try and explore a stage, as you wouldn’t be punished for being curious. You’d still need to be quick, but you won’t be completely screwed either.

Leveling Up

Leveling up give you skill points that you can stick into your health, SP, attack, super mode duration, just dodge duration, luck, and moves. This game shouldn’t give attack or health for skill points. This is just my belief with design, but beat-em-ups shouldn’t just jack up the health of normal enemies as you get stronger, instead just giving us tougher enemies with different patterns of attack. The game already does this with some success, so those slots that increase health and attack seem pointless. You get skill points when you complete a stage for the first time, or find dragon vein shards. This... really puts a lot of pressure on the kinds of skills you upgrade, and while I’m not against that it does make this very light-hearted oddly restricting as you debate what to upgrade. I’d recommend using those dragon vein shards solely to level up instead of for story progression as well. With each upgrade costing more and more dragon veins as you increase your stats. In this first game you can collect over 150 dragon veins. You only need 50 to complete the story mode, and I had about 75 by the time I reached the final mission.

I know some people struggled to grab them, but... I didn’t, so... maybe have the veins do something else than gate story progression.

Post Game Activities

If we are going to have a post game to finish up some side quests for 100%, then we might as well have some extra things to do too.

Oh right, I never mentioned that yet.

Yeah, once you beat the game you’re essentially in a free-run mode to finish some leftover side quests and do a few extra things you might have missed, but... I finished all the side quests before the final story, so I was left with just finishing some hard-mode missions and finishing up my upgrade tree. That said, if there is going to be a post game here’s a few ideas:

Survival Mode where you fight waves of enemies. Some akin to a Bloody Palace Mode where you can compete for a high score among friends and online.

Post Game dungeons that are hard as hell, this could be DLC if you wanted as I wouldn’t mind paying for more content like this.

Extra moves/skills. Yumo’s moveset is rather small compared to DMC and Senran Kagura. If we’re going to have just one character to play as then I’d rather have a complex character that takes awhile to learn than an easy one where I’m spamming the same moves over and over... or give us more characters to play as with equally simple movesets.

That’s really it. The game overall is fun with it’s only real flaw being a rather short game for 35 bucks. Like I said, either some DLC or a sequel would make me feel better about recommend this one, but if you want a fun, short beat-em-up game then this is out on steam, PS4, and the Switch. Feel free to get... though I’d recommend waiting for a sale.

In any case, back to DMC5 for me.

#your dictator is speaking #dusk diver

1 note · View note

barytyrannus · 6 years

Text

Art Analysis: Gorillaz, and How an Art Style can Lose its Edge.

Ah, Jamie Hewlett. My hero, and ultimate inspiration. I hear y’all praising Damon all the time, but I never would have gotten into Gorillaz if it weren’t for Jamie’s artstyle....at least, it was amazing. What happened though? How does Gorillaz in 2018 compare to Gorillaz in 2001? Well, lets take a look back through the history of Gorillaz.

Welcome to the first Art Analysis. I’ve wanted to do this for a while because, frankly, I haven’t seen many other people do it. Today, I’ll be talking about the art style of Gorillaz, not actually Jamie Hewlett specifically (bummer, right?) We’re going to analyze what made it great, and why, I feel, it has lost its magic. Remember, this is all my opinion. Even though your wrong, feel free to tell me your thoughts as well.

Phase 1:

(Early Gorillaz Concept Art)

The Gorillaz was born when Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett expressed dissatisfaction with the modern state of mTV. The idea of having cartoon characters replace real musicians lent itself to be a vessel for great social commentary, but in order for this to work, the characters had to be distinctive. Gorillaz in phase 1 feel very at home in the early 2000s. Powerpuff Girls, Dexter’s Laboratory, and Johny Bravo all rocked the specific, thick-lined, angular, flat shaded style, and the Gorillaz followed suit. Many have pointed out how this style feels like a throwback to 50s UPA animation, and the Gorillaz use similar animation methods as well.

Let me just say that this is, in my view, the BEST cartoon style. Phase 1 Gorillaz art and animation felt more lively and slick. They had an over-emphasized cartoonyness that not only carried their message well but also contrasted beautifully with the dark nature of the characters. Jamie Hewlett’s work in Gorillaz phase 1 was his best work to date, outside of maybe Get the Freebies.

The Gorillaz in phase 1 also remind me a lot of urban vinyls, like those of KidRobot. This may be due to the smooth, flat colors and shading. It suits the more urban feel of their first album quite well. The Gorillaz fan artist Irina Bolshakova has mastered this style and deserves a mention because I think she is the greatest Gorillaz fan artist of all time. I often reference her work more than Jamie even!

Phase 2:

The most significant change in direction in terms of the Gorillaz artstyle, atleast until recently, was with the beginning of phase 2. Demon Days, as an album, have significantly different themes than the band’s previous outing. It was a post-911 world now, and gone were the innocent, chill vibes of Self Titled. The world just got a whole lot drearier and more paranoid. The cartoon network inspired style wouldn’t work for this, and changes needed to be made.

For starters, the characters became more gritty and detailed. They often looked worn out and ghoulish, like zombies, which was especially fitting. The thick lines, unfortunately, were diminished significantly, replaced with what almost resembles pencil lines, and shading began to use a gradient. It was often darker as well, making the eyes of the characters look sunken in and vampiric. Limbs showed more of a natural curve, and were less geometric, and muscles were more toned. The characters often felt stiff and spidery in phase 1, legs jutting out at exaggerated angles. They were often posed more naturally in phase 2. The colors in this art are often muddled and dull as well. To me, I describe the style of phase 2 as akin to walking into an old, dusty antique store.

While this style works very well for Demon Days, I feel like it was overall a downgrade. The characters feel less distinctive and eye catching. That may be why they are often seen wearing outlandish costumes in this phase, but I digress. The gothic feel of the album should be right up my ally, and, well, it is. I love this album so much, as well as D Sides. And I love the artstyle, don’t get me wrong. I just feel it changed too much and lost what made Gorillaz art so appealing to me in the first place.

Much like Irina is the best phase 1 Gorillaz fanartist, Lora Zombie gets the award for the best phase 2 Gorillaz fanartist.

Phase 3:

Phase 3 marks the beginning of a downward trend in the artstyle’s evolution. Plastic Beach is a bit of an odd-ball album from them, and a hit or miss for many people. The style of the album was dramatically different then previous outings, transitioning from demons and self destruction to a “Gorillaz at Sea” carnival attraction. At least that’s how I would describe it.

With only 1 2D animated music video for this album, and considerably less promotional imagery than past outings, there isn’t as much to go off of. The first thing I noticed was that the pencil lines in Demon Days are significantly more pronounced, making much of the art look unfinished at points(ironic, considering Rhinestone Eyes). This clashes with the more dynamic shading , leading to a bit of a strange look. Perhaps this would look good with darker colors, but since this album is much more pop-y and upbeat, the colors are actually much brighter than past incarnations. It is also here that Jamie appears to loose a sense of consistence with his character designs. Most notably is Murdoc, who appears to have gotten some sort of jaw reduction surgery (something we’ll see more of in phase 4), and at some points looks like a racoon, as the dark circles around his eyes are often extremely exaggerated. Murdoc particularly looks distinctly different at different parts of the album. 2D’s issue in phase 3 has to do with magically reducing his age. In some art, he has very visible wrinkles and a receding hairline, but other times, he looks just as old as he was in phase 1.

Phase 3 is a dramatic drop in quality, and it feels fitting that this album led to a falling out between Jamie and Damon due to his art feeling underutilized.

Phase 4:

7 years after Plastic Beach, the Gorillaz make an admittedly lack-luster comeback. Not only was the music of Humanz pretty dull, but the phase 4 artwork in general was Jamie Hewlett at his worst. The first change was the abandonment of any sort of consistent outlining on the characters. I hate when cartoons do this; thick outlines are amazing! Why tf would you get rid of them? The characters in this album are designed to look very human like, with very human proportions and less exaggerated features.

The style is unrecognizable. Eyes are smaller and less circular. Limbs are lankier and hands grosser. The classic “ape nose” seen in the past three phases and an iconic part of their design was shrunken and narrowed. Shading is more 3 dimensional, adding to the comparably realistic character designs. 2D and Noodle also joined Murdoc in getting jaw reduction surgery. 2D also grew back one of his front teeth apparently. And with this album, any consistency in character design is gone completely. I wouldn’t believe you if you told me that this:

and this:

Were the same character. What the hell? Phase 5 was a dark time for Gorillaz, and it shows, as not only the music itself, but the art also felt jumbled and inconsistent.

I feel like I should add, though, that while this is my least favorite Gorillaz artstyle, it is by no means a bad artstyle in general.

Phase 5:

It was with phase 5 that the Gorillaz started to look more like the Gorillaz again. It was also with phase 5 that Russel finally joined the jaw reduction club, but that’s besides the point. The Now Now was one of the best albums to come out of the Gorillaz, and that says a lot. It’s somber vibes were the score to my summer vacation, and were a breath of fresh air after the hot mess that was Humanz. The new art with this album took a different turn, feeling yet again like a throwback, not to UPA unfortunately, but to old fashioned comicbooks.

This style is marked by harsh shadows and flat, two-toned shading. Yes! Its about time you brought that back. Just like the album itself, the art gives a 70s vibe, particularly with the choice of color and tacky clothing. But a few things in this style don’t work.The body proportions of the characters are identical to real humans, and the hands and ears are considerably more realistic. This really bothers me, but at this point I’ve excepted that the Gorillaz aren’t just cartoon characters anymore. For the most part, this art is more consistent and stylish, and is a welcome change to the previous incarnation.

Having a damn good style for the Now Now is great and all, but I certainly miss what we had back in 2001. The Gorillaz are less underground now, and feel more consumerized, especially seeing as Noodle has an instagram, and I feel that the art has gone a similar route. I hope to see a bit more of that classic Gorillaz in the future, and I sure hope that the television show takes pointers from the OG Gorillaz. Until then, here are the artstyles of each phase ranked:

5. Phase 4

4. Phase 3

3. Phase 5

2. Phase 2

1. Phase 1

I hope to do more of these Art Analysis. This was really fun to put together.

#Gorillaz #gorillaz art #review

80 notes · View notes

aspiestvmusings · 6 years

Note

Hi,do you think scorpion was canceled just because of the ratings? Or was there something else we don’t know about?

Hi,

You answer your question within your question. But let me get to the point after this long detour… (if you wish to read JUST the answer, scroll down to the very end… to get to the “answer”…)

Think about it.

The show was moved into the Monday night comedy block…and yet it was originally supposed to be a drama with a comedy heart. It is also a “family show”, yet it was moved to the end of the Monday night line-up, airing at 10PM timeslot. The shows ratings and viewer numbers started to go down (as they do with almost every single network show as seasons go by)… And though we may never know what the Nielsen box owners think and what the regular/random tv viewers think about the show… we know that most online fans thought the shows writing suffered over the seasons, and that the hearty dramedy kinda fell into its own trap… choosing quantity over quality, choosing to go too far over the line. Becoming kinda ridiculous… even for a comic book superhero fun show. We know only what other vocal fans online think about the shows “progress” over the years. We do not know what most viewers think, but we know what many (online) fans do.

Think about it.

The official TV (spoiler) news & sites (and the network itself in their press releases) are referring to the shows lower-than-before ratings/viewer numbers and the fact that it just wasn’t working for them (on Monday nights…) and did not perform as well as they expected it to do. (writing an analysis on the possible reasons why that was so, and making suggestions what could have been done… by network, byt showrunners/writers to make it better… would take more time and energy than I choose to spend on this issue.)

They did not choose alderman Sly’s tactic…and coming up with solutions that make everything better… (Sly is making West Altadenia better with his street-lights & anti-bullying programs). They chose to not give other options a try, and instead start from clean slate. Taking the risk with new shows -since key demo that they’re after is younger audience, who just weren’t engaging with the show - they essentially (to put it in very rough terms) chose to replace the oldies with fresh and young faces. The network is obviously trying to attract younger and newer audiences… and are using “new, fresh, “hip” shows as their tactical plan. Only time will tell is this works or not. (I’m not the type of customer, but who knows about the regular US viewer and their preferences… in mindless medium?)

But obviously they did not care about the syndication deal/money enough to give it even a short 10-13 episode final season (remember: we’re at episode 94…or so…), so the show was only 6 or so episodes away from 100th episode,, and syndication deal. They also obviously did not want to move it to any other night either. It wasn’t working as part of the Monday night lineup, but they obviously couldn’t fit it into any other night either. In my personal opinion, which does not reflect anyone else, the show lost its way… it was still officially a drama, but it had become a comedy basically. And the kind that laughs at itself/its own jokes. It wasn’t the best of boths anymore, it was neither really… lately… not a comedy, not a drama, so harder to fit into any nights programme.

NOW…IF I WOULD BE THE ONE MAKING THE RENEWAL/CANCELLATION DECISIONS…

If you’d ask me, I’d say that a show which has gotten lost…and so far off the tracks that it (its showrunners/writers) can’t find the original path anymore.. because they’re not even willing to… is (to quote Happy Quinn) not good. A show which has become so inconsistent, and which is trying to fit too much content into too little space (too many plotlines, and not enough time spent on any of them), is not on the favourites list… when making decisions what to keep and what to let go. A show which promotes itself as being about team of geniuses, who are a family and each others support system (THEM against the world), but which has such poor scientific quality… is not very believable. Even for a show that’s supposed to be light and just-for-fun entertainment the content became “too silly”.

Can’t relate to a genius, who is being (science) dumb. Can’t relate to a team of geniuses who instead of their initial goal to add new EQ layers to their IQ become unrecognizable and forgetting their hearts… whenever it’s needed for the plot. Can’t take seriously empathetic geniuses who have forgotten their own struggles, and who instead of adding EQ and becoming more empathetic towards each other/everyone just become meaner towards anyone different than them…and anyone, who is like them in the past. Can’t be interested in watching a show which promotes itself as one thing, but in it’s core is (read: has become) another thing :(

ETA: This is sadly the fate of most network shows, cause networks & writers don’t know any other way to “develop” these personal storylines. And over time quantity wins over quality - most shows suffer from trying to fit too many plots into the show & dropping old/ongoing plots when new “better” ideas come to mind and/or when they think something isn’t working (instead of finishing the “notworking” plot before moving to new one, it’s kinda left unfinished).Maybe the statistics are right, and this is what the average US TV-viewer wants. Maybe the supply meets the demand. Maybe I’m just having a hard time believing how not-smart oriented network tv is.

A show that uses drama for only dramas sake. And not in the usual TV show style. But extra… A show that has it’s socially challenged characters bully each-other, and not get called out on it. A show that is so inconsistent, and so “aimless” that it is unacceptable even if taking into account that it is a lighthearted fiction entertainment program on network TV. They all were past the level they were dragged back to… to empathize the IQ vs EQ main theme of the show. When there were other ways….. when it could’ve been done honouring their development. The back & fort became so inconsistent… it didn’t fit the low-EQ slow learning curve and 1 step forward/2 steps back style… it just became… weird.

If I was the person making decision I’d given the show another chance (but only if a deal with the showrunners was made that they’d up their game. And after everything I’d given then a short 13-episode final season (if there was no room for full season), and moved the show to a different night…. or maybe even to be aired during summer. But a final deal only if the show would present their plans for what’s next in detail, and there would be sure signs of improvement in quality of storytelling, and a clear path.

But… I’m me, and I measure TV shows differently than networks do. I look for the quality of content, the writing and consistency. I do not care about adds, revenue, ratings, and viewer numbers. I’m a terrible business person. The networks are looking at different things than I do when making renewal/cancellation decisions. So their cancellation decision was reached by looking at other things… not the plotlines I consider the “deal breakers”

IMPORTANT: THIS IS ALL PURE SPECULATION THOUGH…

BECAUSE NEITHER I OR YOU (OR OTHER FANS HERE) WORK FOR CBS/THE SHOW. WHICH MEANS THAT WE’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW THE DETAILS AND REASONS BEHIND THE DECISIONS. IT’S A BUSINESS DECISION.

…and to get back to your question….

Think about it.

IF there would be something else (besides the lowering ratings/viewer numbers and the other reasons started in official press news) that we don’t know about then how am I supposed to answer your question if I (because you & I are part of the “we” aka “fandom” that you are referring to in your ask) don’t know about any other possible reasons behind the decision to not renew the show. So… it is impossible for me to answer as I can’t tell you something that I don’t know (about), can I?

PS. THIS, JUST LIKE MOST SPOILER/TV QUESTIONS I GET, HAS BEEN ALREADY ANSWERED IN MY PRIOR POSTS. SEE: HERE (post + tags) As I always say… IF and when I have anything to say/add/comment on any TV related stuff, I will make my own post, and the answers are always found in my posts. And it’s not that I don’t want to answer, it’s just that I don’t have anything to say. All I’ve had to say, I’ve already expressed on this blog.

And we can speculate as much as we want, and we can ever have ”inside info” (know more than the official statements say), but… we still can’t say anything, and can’t say anything for sure… And as I originally said… I do expect there to be some rumours.. as there always are after fan-fave show cancellations, but I won’t take part in commenting on those. At least that’s my position right now. But yes, it seems to me (based on what is known… that) there was more to the decision than just the thing mentioned in the press release. Maybe I am wrong, and the studio/network made the decision purely based on the things they mentioned, but everything points to those other (not mentioned) things also playing a part. But… those are only “need to know” and we, the fans don’t need to know (read: are not supposed to know about those other things)

PS. I do plan to write one more post… regarding the show and the series/season 4 finale. But I need time to really sit down and write the thoughts down. But in short… after I re-watched the finale (back-to-back with the Pilot)… I actually think this was a quite fitting book-end ending. Sure…not the happy ending most expect. But it was still kinda “coming a full circle” ending. From the Walt/Janice opening scene in Pilot to the Walt/Paige end scene in Finale. To the introduction and forming of the team.. to the “dismantling” of the team.

15 notes · View notes

crystalbehindthescenes · 3 years

Note

I have to say I actualy like the new style now that we actually see it animated. I mean it bothers me in certain areas and it definately lacks the elegance but it's not as bad as I expected after seeing the character sheets. Tho I agree it can look unfinished. For me personaly it's the lack of shading that bothers me. But I guess I'm a bit biased on that because I love dynamic shading (it's one of the reasons I loved s1-2 style). It might not be as noticeable in animation but it's definately visible in promotional art. For example the album cover. They look good but there's barely any shading it makes them look flat especially compared to the background.

Sorry for the rant I'm just really passionate about shading and not the best at expressing it lol

No you're fine, in my case it's shading and something else which has been my problem with Tadanos style in general, like, to the point the multiple ADs styles in the 90s improved on it imo.

And just like the 90s Tadanos style is still getting altered via inconsistent styles by animators, mainly cus of production bs but idk theres just something off about the style not just cus of the shading its just really flat at times, wonky at worse. I don't really have an opinion on it. I don't hate it but I don't love it either. I'm just kinda sick of these soft reboots of various styles when they could've just improved Sakou's which is more an opinion on the production than anything.

On it's own it's just not my preference but as Crystal it's more like... just choose a style and stick with it just wish it wasn't 90s pandering despite being incredibly ironically inconsistent.

From what I saw theres some like odd animation imo, like trying too hard to be Bouncy but Choppy Modern Character Acting I see in like Sakuga videos, but that's again a preference thing for the most part. example Usagi and ChibiUsa scene before meeting Pegasus, mainly ChibiUsa's cut, the animation felt like too much yet too little at the same which again I see it in modern anime and some 90s animes.. I can't explain so don't worry about it asddyfhgjk it would've bothered me regardless of style I'm picky about the like timing n stuff when it comes to character acting but I'm glad to see modern Toei trying to attempt it again lol.

0 notes

ikkydikky · 6 years

Photo

Here it comes! Time for an end of the year “Here’s what I drew this year” list. Mainly just to archive my art now for future’s sake and tell myself my thought process and how I felt about it now.

I’m skipping over sketches and going straight to stuff that was finished and polished and I’ll explain each image as we go. Buckle up boys its going to be a long one.

We’re going to go to the first image I did this year and explain how things went from there!

Drawing #1, Scrubbed off Katia Managan

March 3rd 2017

Art is actually kind of hard when you don’t know what form, line consistency, anatomy, or any of those things are! In fact I only know about two of them right now! And how to put into practice one of them! This image shows what its really like to start out with base-nothing. The idea is cute! And I’ll probably redo it later on when I am probably a years worth better. It marks however the first thing I really posted online. To me, that makes it special.

Drawing #2, Sigrid, but smug.

September 9th, 2017

BIG gap between the two! And not a lot of improvement, or maybe a lot of improvement? Who knows. I think this image was the first thing I did digitally that I put up for other people to see, and it was exciting! There’s absolutely no construction to this. Prior to this image being done I was basically drawing people’s heads and circles. Like, pages upon pages of circle grinding to actually know how to draw a circle digitally.

The main reason why there was such a gap between March and September was due to me graduating high school. I basically didn’t feel like drawing at all when I already had the work load of school ontop of me. But the art starts coming a lot faster now. Yes you can see there was a huge prequel influence.

Drawing #3, Blushin Bob

September 29th, 2017

Art is something that you can really do a lot of, but you can easily get burnt out on. Animal crossing is actually one of my favorite games out there, and to try to pay tribute I drew this. Not uh, not exactly my favorite.

This image has me trying basically 3 new things I’ve never done before. Shading, clothes, fur tufts, and bodies. Yeah. Not exactly my best job at any of those. The shadows are, very inconsistent and its clear I didn’t really know how to do it properly. The fur is atrocious with it looking like spiked tumors, and the shirt rides up way too high like hes wearing a shirt thats way too short! Also he might be a bit too skinny.

This is kind of an image that broke me. At the time I was trying to fix every error when I just couldn’t, from the arm in the first attempt being god awful, to how the shading and shirt looks. I genuinely think this is the worst image in my library, and I knew it at the time since I drew nothing for all of October. You know. The month that’s meant to be the most inspiring artistically?

Drawing #4, Gondola The Peaceful Giant

November 12th, 2017

This was actually just a shitty paint up I did of a sketch practicing perspective. It was mainly for a draw thread on 8chan’s /v/ and probably my only work I’ve posted to an image board. I think generally doing art for anonymous people is a bit thankless. Its great for practicing but it really gives back no validation.

Keep in your memory these clouds, I’ll be talking about those later.

Drawing #5, Bunny, The space mechanic.

November 12th, 2017

This character was a mistake, not the drawing but the character! This is my first actual tabletop character and boy I flubbed it. But this is art retrospective. Not roleplay retrospective. Anyway. A portrait done with a new pen style that I don’t think worked out too well. It comes off a bit too rough and gritty. But it makes for unique coloring when it comes to painting. I’ll actually have some more to say about that in a bit too! This also marks the point where I really got into drawing again. See. The table top group I’m in rewards you for drawing pictures of your characters, no matter how shitty it is, as long as you do your best, you get a reward in game. Its actually a really, really neat system!

Drawing #6, Oh dear god why.

November 16th, 2017

This is going to be a reoccurring character, so. Lets get to talking about it here. This character was as far as I know, a joke character made by a friend that got turned into a full blown character for a campaign, she is nonsensical, random, actually crazy, and worst of all, vibrantly colored. She is the Deviant Art Sparkledog as a character. Which funny enough, is her character name. This was my first attempt at really going ‘sexy’ and ‘nude’. And actually I think Sparkledog is a perfect candidate for it because its already cringy and god awful to look at! So it hides my bad attempts at a sexy lady behind an already cringy character. Thanks friend.

Anyway to talk about the art its self. It was done with no ref or pose. And I think it kind of shows. Everything’s proportionate to a degree but something about the perspective of the whole thing feels... off. Of course the background is just slapped together with glue but I mean on the character. She’s laying on the ground but not in a way that I think is possible or comfortable.

This also goes as my second attempt at fur, it’s, better. But definitely not good. Ontop of that this is probably my first attempt at an actual muzzle! Pic below related.

Muzzles are really hard to do. For some reason. If you ever read Loomis’ Fun with a Pencil it becomes slightly easier, but it also kind of isn’t. A month later and I still struggle with them, A lot of my joke sketches I often forgo any sort of attempt at drawing a muzzle and go for round head shapes, this works out if the character’s species is a prey type, as the eyes for herbivores are often on the side of the head, while for predators, its facing dead ahead. On another note, apparently I can just *do legs* with almost ease. I’ll touch on this more in a bit.

Drawing #7, A background for the end.

December 2nd, 2017

Tabletop is a wonderful thing, art groups are also an amazing experience to ever be apart of. The group I’ve been with has been an amazing experience for me artistically as I’ve learned to grow so much more. This is an image I did as soon as I woke up on my birthday. Friend A. did the character sketch. Friend b. did the coloring of the characters, and I got to practice something that I’ve wanted to do for ages.

Environmental art.

Ontop of character art and such, one thing that always draws my attention is environment art. Its something you can always get lost in. Your eyes can search to every corner imagining what it would be like to be there. Genuinely amazing works of art is often environment art.

Its also time we talk about the clouds. I hope you remembered them from the gondola picture. See. Clouds are all about layers, and layers, and layers. Especially when done in a thunder storm. They’re something I might recommend painting if you ever want to start out! I do however think the clouds in the gondola image work a lot better. But I think that might be from the several things I did to trick myself to think they look better.

And that’s all there really is to say on this image. Which is a problem. I learned a bit more about perspective and how floors work when under character’s feet... and how to do lightning kind of. But there isn’t much else. If I were to do this more I’d probably add another cliff to the background. A mountain, a landscape just beyond the fog, because it seems unfinished as it stands.

Drawing #8, Oh dear god why, Revengeance.

December 5th? 2017

Probably the only unfinished image that gets posted! So lets talk about it. I think fur is my least favorite detail to make ever.Yet it also is my favorite when its done. The tail also might not be the best but its league’s better than my first attempt! But lets talk about the main thing about this image.

PAWS.

I don’t have a thing for paws, or feet, that’s not my kink. I think footjobs are sort of appealing sure but I don’t care much for it. so this was my first attempt at paws, and I think I did damn well. However, digitigrade legs are something I still have an issue with, and I am working towards fixing that. I don’t think furry characters look great when their legs are humans, but with paws. As well I think legs are the easiest part of the body to draw in some ways, that might just be me.

The face also is a bit of a mistake? Its better than its.. original incarnation...

[NOT EVEN THE DEAD KNOW PEACE FROM THIS EVIL]

Animal faces with human features is the proper way to do things, but human faces with animal features is... Hell incarnate.

Also that ass took me like 30 tries to get right god damn.

Drawing #9, The last hoot for today.

December 18th, 2017

The last one for today. Some point after Christmas I’ll post probably another three drawings. But this is the final one. Lets talk about a few things about myself.

Art style is all about inspiration. You pick up inspiration from everywhere. Specifically from art styles you really, genuinely enjoy. You might have noticed the art style at first was I Wanna Be The Kazerad and then to something completely different from Kazerad but not distinct from anyone else. This is the process I think to finding your own art style. Emulation.

You might also noticed I ditched aliased (pixely) lines in favor of smooth lines, this was because I was having a tiny issue with drawing at large scale. For some reason I always liked zooming in real close on my 2000x2000 canvas and drawing tiny little things. The bunny picture is a really good example of this. He only took up the tiny corner of my much, much larger canvas. Speaking of his part of this post, lets get into color.

There’s been 3 ways I colored things, the first was plain flats, second was with a sort of homemade crayon brush (Ala Bunny and Gondola), and third was a unique way in how I did the eyes of this image. Looking at them closer you can see theres, actually a lot of rich detail in them!

This was a pretty easy thing to do and it has such amazing results that, I want to do a full image using it just to try it. For how I did it, I use krita, and how it handles gigantic brushes is like most art programs, by automatically raising the spacing between each ‘use’ (for a lack of a better term.)

Here’s what the blue part looks like with a white background behind it and the layer count to make this beside it. (Only one of them visible.)

It also kind of hits close to to another artist I’ve been following pretty closely as of lately. (And more recently on tumblr.)

You might not have heard of @jamdrawers , and you should definitely check them out if you haven’t. They are someone who, in my eyes, has such a wonderful art style. Other artists that do a style with pixelly, aliased lines don’t even come close in my opinion. I bring jam up here because of a few things, the art style he presents has thoroughly inspired me to pick back up trying to draw in aliased lines again, and because going forward I’ll continue looking to him for inspiration. Also if you read this jam tell winrarphile I said thanks for getting me into your art.

Now, when it comes to the owl its self. I regret not adding a thicker outline to all of her character, and instead kept it to just the head shape, as well I do think she comes out a bit bland. Of course color wise its to keep in theme with the rest of the table top groups color theme. But outline wise? Definitely needs work. I tried a ‘hair style’ for her but that didn’t really work out either. So I kept it to the three feathers at the top of the head. I also think I spent more time on this image than I did any other, to quote myself “I’ll finish this owl up in about an hour or two”, which quickly lead to 8 days instead, just through procrastination.

Don’t do something in art if you really don’t want to do it. You can easily, easily get fatigued and burnt out with out delay, but among this procrastination came other sketches that, I don’t think I’ll post here, but helped me learn hands somewhat. So there is that.

Thus ends this posts governing topic. If you read this whole thing, good job. If you didn’t and skimmed to the end. That’s fine too! I understand I got a bit wordy but, I genuinely wanted to lay out my thoughts about all this.

In conclusion, I think the rate at which I’m getting better is decent, Mistakes are being ironed out each new drawing I take on. Each study and figure drawing adds onto the many experiences I’ll use for later in my artistic career, and I think the rate at which I’m drawing is far too slow for my own tastes, as such its a goal for the upcoming year to get a lot faster with finishing each drawing so I can quickly move onto the next. Thank you for reading this.

Have a noid chewin’ some pizza as a reward for coming down to the end.

#art #my art #kazerad #prequel #long winded spiel

7 notes · View notes

thelightningawardsofficial · 5 years

Text

Review | The Unfinished Avatar

Judged by Shawn (Snowwhitewolf09)

Category: General

[ Author: Rainbow_Phoenix2006 ]

Title (2/5): While the title got me thinking about how a Keshin would be 'unfinished', it did very little more than that. The title struck me as a tad odd, as once I read through, I figured that it wasn't about the beginning of the Keshin. I also think it reveals too much about the story without a hint of subtlety, immediately making you look out for every instance of a Keshin to see which one would be 'unfinished'—that would have added to the story... but you'll hear more on that later.

Summary (3/10): I'll give it to you straight. Your summary doesn't look like one that would be for a book. It looks more like an overview of the first few chapters, with no explanation of what the plot really is and what else we should be looking for. It basically is just a lengthened version of saying "This is an Inazuma Eleven Go fanfiction."

It's quite bare, with absolutely no details to hook the reader or give any information about the book itself. If I had chanced upon your book without it being shown to me, I would've just skipped past it, as the only thing you promise to your readers is that events would be different. Which is something that is a given in all fanfictions.

Your sentences are a bit rough to read, a tad choppy. That isn't the main problem though, so that's not what should be worked on much. It's just a side observation.

Two points for effort, and one for a method that almost forces the reader to read the book—because there's no overview of it on the front.

Plot (5/25): As it stands, your book is quite bluntly an edgy retelling of the first season of Inazuma Eleven Go. Hopefully, you aren't going to make one of those fanfictions were there is just one small change, but that is what it looks like right now. It seems like the story will run us through the events of the Holy Road, except with a bipolar Tenma who has an overpowered Keshin and can one-man an entire team of SEEDs. If you're trying to make it deviate much more from canon, it certainly isn't evident.

A number of the chapters have passed, yet the only things that have happened so far are Tenma showing how broken his power level is, people talking about his 'hidden power', the Raimon team basically whining, and the revelation of the 'Unfinished Avatar'.

It's the last one I want to talk about now. You revealed and lost the only bit of intrigue you had very early on. You planted a seed and immediately harvested it without letting its roots sink in. This, combined with how you showed Tenma, didn't even make it a surprise. And because nothing else had come up to make the readers invested in the story at this point, the book would just seem like dragging of whatever happens next. You didn't build up well to the revelation.

I gave you 5 instead of the initial 3 that I wanted to give. And that is because I can see an avenue that you can explore. It seems that it is this Avatar that gives much strength to Tenma. Struggles and character moments can be made if he has to go on and face bigger foes without it.

Here's the best advice I can give you right now: deviate. You haven't laid down all the playing cards that can be laid down yet. There's Fifth Sector, there's Tenma, and there are a whole lot of other things in the background. Change them, shape them. As it stands, your Unfinished Avatar looks like it has little to do with things. Make it bigger. Change Tenma's backstory if you have to. Connect it to the antagonists. Connect it to all of the terrible things happening. Take the plot—no matter how much you like it, you'll have to bend it now—and stretch it to places that aren't usual. Put more emphasis on characters, even if they aren't usually highlighted in the show.

Characterization (3/20): I didn't find any characters, per se. I found Tenma and his cast of accessory cardboard cutouts. If you tried to make them more than just background, your efforts weren't exactly good enough. I'm not sure if it's poor presentation, bland dialogue, or the odd pace and emphasis—or a combination thereof—but there was little to no character in the story. They were all just dancing around Tenma, either whining or being little more than plot devices to show off Tenma's power.

Tenma himself seemed to an especially stereotypical bipolar/depressed edgy kid character. He was also very inconsistent—which might be attributed to the Avatar, but it just seems like a lazy excuse if it is. One moment he's enthusiastically bowing, another one and he's self-hating and self-defeating. He switches from one extreme to another. And as a character, his struggles feel superficial. Like they aren't there for more than plot. I don't get any sincere suffering from Tenma, nor do I feel like he conveys his plight well.

It is the beginning. There are still chances for you to correct this, by giving us more glimpses of their character. Dialogue, actions, and just quiet moments allow readers to get a feel of the character and connect with them. Right now, your protagonist has nothing to make him keep readers reading on. He doesn't have a shining quality that tugs. And your other characters don't feel like any more than decoration. But if you can manage to set aside the displays of power and action to show the more human side of them, then even these fictional characters can make us feel for them just as we empathize with real people.

Grammar and Writing Style (10/15): Your best suite. Writing mechanics and vocabulary are decent, just minor errors here and there that can be avoided if you run over them a bit more. Some of your sentences are a bit bland and a tad monotone, which bleeds into your dialogue. Your presentation of the events is a lot of showing and there is a little bit more to be desired. I feel like some characters could have been more than just background if you had just executed them a tad better. Overall, you've just got little problems here and there for this category.

Originality (3/10): When I advised you to deviate, I also mean it for this category. Not much you've provided so far other than your Hissatsu techniques and maybe some concepts behind Night strikes me as something that isn't common. One point was added for making slight deviations so far, as well as Tenma being a lot more of a shooter type.

Feels Factor (3/15): I don't feel that you've led my thoughts for long. I only had one itching thought, which was to figure out the 'unfinished avatar', and you dropped it rather quick. There's not much that I feel is being built up other than the revelation of Night. Aside from that, the non-characters and Tenma don't invoke any sort of sympathy. The players whine about their uselessness, and Tenma's struggle isn't so impactful. The only thing I feel is pity for Aki since she has to deal with Tenma and Night.

Total [Raw] 29/100 [Final] 29%

Banner by -artxyuki

#review #sixth critique #the unfinished avatar #inazuma eleven go #matsukaze tenma #retelling #wattpad entry #general #long fic

0 notes

rebeccalucyba2b · 5 years

Text

Work & Jobs

I decided that I needed to take a look at the jobs that are available at the moment, this includes ones that are in the US and further afield. This is just to give me an idea as to what sort of jobs are available and what my showreel/website will be catered to.

Animated Jobs:

https://animatedjobs.com/

This website is pretty handy as all the jobs are relevant to animation, thats from compositor to animator to texture artist.

This position below as a 3D generalist is interesting to me, but there are a lot of things to consider. First of all there is location, but also what are they looking for? And what qualifications and knowledge would I need.

As you can see in the information above they are looking for experience in Cinema4D, which I don’t have due to using Maya for almost everything. Perhaps familiarising myself with this would help. Something important is to also include what software I use frequently in my portfolio, and a break down of what I used to create the animations I have done.

They also want experience in After Effects and knowledge of animation in both 2D and 3D. This is a lot of stuff to show in a website but can be done. I want to include my 2D work as well as 3D without it appearing inconsistent in quality of work/style. It needs to be clear what I want to achieve.

And after all of this I took a look at their website and decided it was not what I want to be working on as a job, theirwork is not that strong or great quality.

https://www.innovelore.com/

This is their showreel:

vimeo

I don’t think this is very successful, with a lot of unfinished work. There are some sections of clean animation, but also a lot of repetition and no examples of 3D work. It isn’t that clear what they’ll be looking for.

Some parts of the work are stronger, but the intro/outro really doesn’t work due to the colours, contrast and the font. The typography is quite important but there are white dots around the outside of the lettering and it isn’t clear against the gradient background.

I decided to take a look at a freelance job:

I’m not too interested in freelance work, but when I need a job after uni I will most likely consider anything in the industry, although perhaps not ideal.

I have done some motion graphics work, but most likely nto enough to show what I’m capable of alongside 2D drawn and CG.

There is no where near as much information for this company, but it was still intriguing to me as I’d be interested in learning more motion graphics as there are more jobs that I have seen readily available in it. It appears as though they are after anyone who can animate to a decent standard.

The location says anywhere which would mean it would be handy to be able to work from home, which I assume is what they are suggesting.

http://www.pulpstudios.ca/

This is the link to their website, which is a lot cleaner than the last one and is more appealing to me. They look more professional and polished, with illustration, design and animation split up into sections.

Their showreel is cleaner and more focused, despite not being the strongest animation there are some interesting bits of illustration and animation. I don’t feel as though it is anything that I can’t already do, and so I need to make sure I can show that in my website or portfolio, more after effects animation is definitely needed.

vimeo

They also include a list of their clients on the website, which is appealing as it shows they are getting work from hgih profile companies.

Their website has a clear layout, with their showreel appearing first thing on their home page. This works well as they are primarily an animation company, and its important that their work is easy to find, whether this is someone interested in working for the company or a client looking for someone to work for them.

Going forwards-

-Look at the file with animation for my showreel and consider if I’ve got enough motion graphics work to a high standard.

- Separate things up into 2D/Motion graphics and CG.

- Research into more jobs

#portfolio

0 notes

budgerigorous · 7 years

Text

assorted thoughts on pocket mirror - very long, spoilers ahead

starting, here are some obvious things i liked about this game:

art. holy shit, the art is fantastic. best art i’ve ever seen in an rpg maker game, like literally ever. the tiles and mapping are exceptional too. i recognized parts of the rtp and other tilesets, but the custom tiles fit with them very well (unlike in some other games where... no), and there are enough effects and so on to make the rtp tiles look new.

music. a+ original music. nothing that stuck in my head and gave me emotions the way some other game music has, but good music.

descriptions. most of the objects and scenery in the game have descriptions, even though they’re already visually beautiful. i quite like the descriptions, they enhance the atmosphere and many of them remind me of interactive fiction. you also get currency (pumpkin charms) for examining objects and scenery, that you can then use to unlock bonus content!

atmosphere. the tone, style, and atmosphere of this game are pretty much perfect. it might be worth playing for these things alone. i especially loved how strongly differentiated each girl’s house was, and the contrasts between fleta’s bright, neat dollhouse with its clearly divided levels; harpae’s meandering, creaky, poorly lit, but nevertheless ordered wooden hallways; and lisette’s... lisette just didn’t even care, okay. and the last area is so beautiful i made a shrieking noise when i got to it. ugh, i love the atmosphere in this game. ;__;

here are some obvious things i didn’t like about this game:

too many riddles and nursery rhymes. many of the puzzles are heavily dependent on riddles, and the riddles are very not intuitive, which is terrible. also, one character speaks in rhyme. i hate that! please don’t do this unless the rhymes and riddles are really, really good and also necessary.

repetitive, at times nonsensical dialogue. though strong in some places, the script could use an editor for redundancy, grammar/spelling, rhyme/meter, and emotional impact. lisette’s and enjel’s scenes, in particular, could have devastated me; it is a travesty that they did not.

flat, inconsistent characterization. the characters are one- or two-dimensional and their relationships are sadly the same. this frustrates me because they have so much potential. aesthetics, atmosphere, and programming aside, pocket mirror is just an okay game... but it could have been amazing.

the plot doesn’t make sense. the primary antagonist appears to drive the action, but his motivations are left unexplained and at several points he does things that go against his supposed goals.

no save points between some long cutscenes and subsequent “game over” areas/chase sequences. this is a pet peeve of mine when it comes to rpg maker horror games. there are a number of chase sequences where you do get a save point right beforehand, though, which i appreciate.

sometimes when you navigate to a new map the game gets an error and shuts down. because of graphics. and css. and stuff. oh no. then you have to go back and do what you did before, all over again.

here is some stuff that might preclude you from wanting to play this game:

it’s about children in peril, specifically girls, but it isn’t for children and it doesn’t communicate the experience of being a child. are you tired of guiding young female protagonists through an array of aesthetic death traps? this is not the game for you.

the voice acting. most lines are not voiced aloud, but gasps, laughter, etc. are voiced. this has been criticized as “provocative.” i wouldn’t have gotten that from it if i hadn’t sought out commentary on the game, but i’m really bad at identifying if something non-explicit is creepy or inappropriately sexualized, so. be aware!

[SPOILER] one of the endings is a clichéd twist that seems to rely on popular misconceptions about schizophrenia. “wait, claire, you don’t mean the literal worst twist ever, do you?” “yes, puppet version of the reader, i do.” i have chosen to ignore this ending even though it is apparently “canon.” this is the task of the fan.

it feels unfinished. so much work! and what is the payoff? the player has completed a visually beautiful game with good music and only a few technical blips, and what have they gained from it? not a catharsis, in my opinion.

i’m on my second playthrough now, so some of these opinions are likely to change.

also i am pretty much definitely going to buy the sequel, so take that as you will.

#new games tag as of this moment #pocket mirror (game) spoilers

3 notes · View notes

stephmolliex · 6 years

Text

Review: Apple's new macOS Mojave polishes the Mac for iOS users

Apple's new macOS Mojave manages to be fresh and new without feeling unfamiliar. It's a significant, ambitious release we'd recommend for any Mac user with the Metal-capable hardware required to run it. However, as with all major updates, users of any professional or specialized third party apps or utilities should verify their compatibility with the new OS before upgrading. Fresh and new without a lot to learn Mojave doesn't radically change the entire user interface of your Mac, but it does give it an optional new Dark Mode appearance and adds a series of thoughtful and useful tools, including better file handling on the desktop with Stacks and in Finder windows with the new Gallery View and Quick Actions. It streamlines simple editing operations right within Quick Look; it enhances password management, security, and privacy; it updates iTunes and radically overhauls the Mac App Store. Plus is also opens the door to running iOS titles on the Mac, starting with a selection of Apple's own apps. All of these enhancements are bundled with a series of bug fixes; improvements and expansions of developer tools; new capabilities for Siri; and features to better support international users. Apple has also outlined its plans for a new multiuser FaceTime in Mojave, although this feature won't ship until an update later this Fall. From Dark Mode to Dynamic Desktop to Finder metadata to Quick Look editing and its new Apps, Mojave features some of the most visually attractive and compelling changes to macOS without also introducing complex new shifts in behaviors in how the system works with apps and documents that build on what we've known rather than changing them. . It's easy to recommend Mojave as an update, but going even further: the new release creates confidence in buying a new Mac, as it paints a picture of competence and incremental advancement that Mac buyers can expect to get every year after they buy their new machine for a solid four or five years -- Mojave actually supports some Macs going back eight years. No other PC or netbook vendor similarly offers solid, significant updates for free on an annual basis. In fact, the only other products that are similarly updated are Apple's own iOS devices. Mojave is, quite clearly, the Mac for iOS users who want a computer that is supported as well as their mobile devices. Mojave's progress over the beta period A lot has advanced since the first Public Beta back in June. Dynamic Desktop is now functional, so the included Mojave desktop dune image, and a simpler "solar gradient" color desktop, will now automatically change to give you a sense of the time of day as you work. Apple includes seven other desert themed images and a variety of other new and previous desktop images to choose from, but none of these support dynamic time shifting. It will be interesting to see if Apple releases new Dynamic Desktop image packages the same way it incrementally updates Apple TV aerial screensavers. And it will be quite a bit disappointing if this is feature is only limited to the two currently provided. Continuity Camera, one of the features that seemed to be working inconsistently in early betas, now appears to be solid across a variety of apps. Once you place an image taken by your iOS phone or tablet, there's a pull down control on it that lets you crop or edit it on your Mac via Markup (or use other Extensions you've installed). The scan functionality is particularly impressive, as it uses ARKit on your iPhone to intelligently map out the edges of the document. Once you capture it, you can refine the selection of the rectangle's corners, and it will skew the image to straighten it. After you approve, you continue capturing other scans or save what you have directly into your document. In our testing this worked impressively well. After placing images in a document, you can also double click on embedded Continuity Camera shots or scans to open them up in Preview for editing. Speaking of Preview, one oddity we noted in the early Public Beta was the inconsistency in the placement, appearance, and behavior of editing tools between the Markup tools in Preview and those when editing in Quick Look. The tool bars are still arranged differently, with a different default tool selected. In Preview it's the area selector used for cropping. In Quick Look, it's the drawing tool. So if you try to do a quick crop with the mouse the way you would in Preview, you begin drawing on your image instead. There are also some Markup tools missing from the new Quick Look editing mode: Instant Alpha, the Adjust Color panel (with tools for exposure, contrast, saturation, sharpness, etc) and the Image Dimension panel for manually resizing to a set percentage or to a number of pixels or inches. Rather than being an unfinished feature, this issue may simply be an example of two inconsistent implementations of Markup functionality. Over the years, macOS has previously introduced new UI concepts that take some time to consistently spread across the whole OS. Examples of this are becoming less frequent and thus stand out as more obvious when they do occur. Another inconsistency we noticed in the beta that hasn't changed relates to Stacks. This feature only exists on the desktop: if you open a Finder window and look at the "Desktop" folder, you still see each icon separated instead of stacked in groups by type. However, even when you Group documents in the Desktop folder by Kind and use Stacks on the Finder desktop to Group by Kind, you get different results. For example, in Finder windows all images are sorted into a single group, while on the desktop, Stacks separates Screenshots from other standard Images. These are not showstopper problems, but do make the Mojave experience a bit confusing, forcing you to think about what "mode" you're working in. That's something the Mac human user interface guidelines have always sought to avoid. On the other hand, the Mojave Finder's new Preview Column, shown by default in the new Gallery View, presents a set of Quick Actions (implemented as Finder Extensions) which includes the exact same Markup functionality that appears in Quick Look. So Preview itself is the odd app here. In addition to Markup, Apple also provides Finder Quick Actions to Rotate an image; Create a PDF from image files or Trim an audio or video file. These features bring iOS-like, app-free editing of documents to the Mac, creating a new consistency across Apple's platforms. Note that this implementation has also been cleaned up since the first public beta. The Preview Column in Gallery View is also customizable, so you can configure how much metadata you want to see. Simply open up Show Preview Options from the Finder's View menu (below). Another aspect of Mojave to see big beta-period improvements are the new UIKit-based apps from iOS: Home, Stocks, News and Voice Memos. In the beta, these felt like really fresh ports ripped from iOS. Now they feel and look like native Mac apps. News and Stocks are actually a nicer experience on the larger Mac display with a sidebar rather than an iOS Maps-style slide up panel for navigation. Voice Memos now sync to iOS via iCloud, and Home now correctly references "double clicking" to configure a HomeKit accessory, a behavior that doesn't exist on iOS. This should create confidence in Apple's stated plans to further refine and open up UIKit support on Macs for third party developers next summer, creating a wave of new apps and utilities for Apple's approximately 100 million Mac users originating from the massive existing library of apps created for the billion users of iOS. While pundits once imagined Apple would create a Red Box to run PC software on Macs natively, it's now working to leverage the massive popularity of iOS to improve the range of titles available to the Mac. And to get ready for this, Apple is also launching an all new Mac App Store, patterned after the enhancements it made to the iOS App Store last year. These include curated collections of software specific to Creators, Developers, Workers and Gamers, with stories and videos that make it easy to find the software you're looking for. Improved merchandising of apps resulted a solid improvement in iOS app sales, and should also dramatically improve the usefulness of the Mac App Store -- as well as get things ready for new UIKit apps arriving next year. Beyond all of the beta period refinements made in Mojave over the last three months, Apple has also updated its own apps, including Pages, Keynote and Numbers, to support Continuity Camera as well other new Mojave features including Dark Mode. And in parallel, developers have been taking advantage of the beta period to add support for new Mojave features as well. However, as noted earlier, any Mac users who are reliant on specific apps should make a point to follow up with those apps' third party developers to make sure they've worked out any issues with the Mojave release before updating to the new OS. Apple appears to be making fewer drastic changes to macOS as it matures, but even minor changes may cause disruptive issues for apps that aren't ready yet. The maturing macOS is free to focus on functional enhancements Just over 34 years after the original Macintosh first shipped in 1984, it's almost hard to believe that Apple's iconic desktop has now been grounded on sophisticated NeXT technologies for more than half of that time. Since the first consumer 10.0 version was first released 17 years ago, Apple has introduced 14 major new updates -- compared to just 9 major version numbers across the first 17 years of the Mac's existence under the classic Mac OS system software. After years of radical overhauls that modernized its printing, networking, file system and media handling; made huge shifts to 64-bit and Intel processors; and introduced entirely new capabilities from Time Machine to iCloud integration to Continuity to memory compression -- one could say that Apple's macOS platform has now reached a Golden Age. There's still room for improvements, but using a Mac has never been a nicer experience where things generally work so well that little touches often feel delightful. One aspect that is improving -- but at an often frustratingly slow pace -- is Siri. After brining its voice assistant to the Mac, Siri continues to gain new features, including hands-free "Hey Siri" support on brand new iMac Pro and the latest TouchBar MacBook Pro models. Plus it now has the handy ability to find your AirPods or iOS devices or control HomeKit devices -- as well as more questionable abilities to ask about holidays or celebrities or sporting events. However, it still struggles in other areas. Ask it to turn on Dark Mode -- a natural expectation on a OS release defined by the new feature -- and Siri plays the role of HAL 9000 in 2001. You can, however, quickly switch into Dark Mode using a keyboard shortcut or a new Automator Action installed in the TouchBar with Mojave. Under the hood, Apple is also making significant improvements to macOS, particularly for developers. Xcode 10 received some of the most interest among WWDC developers thinking about Dark Mode, in part because of the natural fit for a dark UI when working with code, and of course because Apple gave its development tools features specific to testing out the new Dark Mode on coders' own apps. Apple has also opened up improved developer access to a technology Apple has been increasingly using internally: Machine Learning. Using the new CreateML, developers can build original ML models that leverage the work Apple has already done in vision and natural language models, creating tools for image classification, word tagging, and sentence classification using training data and a few lines of code. A computer for iOS users The Mac is no longer the scrappy underdog crying out for attention in a world dominated by Windows PCs or defined by Unix. In fact, as observed in an earlier look at the Mojave Public Beta, Apple isn't really focusing on selling Macs to consumer PC switchers anymore at all. Instead, Apple continues to disrupt the market for PCs by offering competitively priced iPad models that are simpler to individuals use and easier for companies to deploy, with a focus on high mobility rather than seeking to replicate all the functionality of legacy desktops and a windowing environment-- much of which is simply unnecessary for users with streamlined needs. The Mac is now being sold as the ideal "creator" computer for iOS users, visible in the range of features Apple has brought "back to the Mac" after initially introducing them on iOS. This continues in Mojave with the adoption of iOS-like screen capture editing which is actually enhanced on the Mac. Then there's the aforementioned Markup document editing and cropping, simple Trim editing on audio and video files, and even entire apps that were formerly exclusive to iOS, including Home (below), News, Stocks, and Voice Memos. Not so many years ago, Apple was clearly working to make the Mac familiar, comfortable and compatible to users of Unix and Windows. Today, Apple is focusing it efforts on making iOS users feel at home on the Mac. It's not hard to understand why. A decade ago, PCs and Unix were dominant computing operating systems. Today, iOS 11 represents the largest, most valuable platform -- larger even than Windows 10 and far more valuable than devices running any version of Android. As a premium bank of users, iOS is simply the best demographic Apple can market its Macs to -- and those premium buyers with an interest in the newest technology are already inside its stores. One of the unique features Apple sells on iOS is privacy and security -- enabling users to decide if they want an app to be able to send notifications, access their camera or use their location. In Mojave, Apple has also brought more of these controls to the Mac, requiring apps to ask for permission to access the camera or microphone, or to read data from Mail or Messages, or backups from Time Machine or iTunes. Apple is also making it easier to use strong passwords, and to find and strengthen weak passwords used across various online accounts -- something I've caught myself doing, even after the massive account breaches at Yahoo and Equifax. With iCloud syncing between iOS and Mac Keychains, this makes it even more attractive to iPhone buyers to opt into buying a Mac. Additionally, Siri can now be used to look up passwords without manually navigating through the Keychain app. At the same time, Apple is also working in parallel to make Macs a viable option in the enterprise as an alternative to Windows PCs. Yet even here, the door into corporate deployments was opened by iOS, whose users are the most likely to now request a Mac in the workplace. Still, for switchers Apple has enhanced its Migration Assistant. The tool is now capable of transferring much more information from a Windows PC: documents, contacts, calendar, email, and system accounts can all now be moved in addition to the Desktop and Documents folder it could move in the past. An OS optimized for Mac hardware Rather than being overdue for a merger, Apple's iOS and macOS computing platforms have a synergy that is enhanced by staying separate, with each focused on being optimized for the kind of hardware it runs on. At the same time, Apple is also enhancing how well Macs work with iPhone and iPad with its Continuity features. In Mojave, this gets a boost with Continuity Camera, which now works just as effortlessly as using AirDrop to send files or URLs, or copy and paste to send selections back and forth wirelessly. With its distinct iOS mobile offerings, Apple has focused its macOS platform on professional creators and others with a need for more power and complexity in their computing tools. Mac hardware has effectively dropped the low-end entirely to focus on premium models: iMacs with large, high pixel count displays; ultra-thin, performant MacBook notebooks; the beefy new iMac Pro and upcoming new Mac Pro models. Microsoft now supports Windows across everything from low-end 32-bit ARM, Celeron and Sempron chips to high-end Epyc and Xeon processors, and across a range of PC hardware-- from limited RAM and minimal SoC GPUs to the other extreme of components. In contrast, Apple's entire Mac range uses mainstream 64-bit Intel processors, roughly consistent supplies of RAM, and -- now under Mojave -- both supporting Metal-optimized graphics hardware and making it a minimum requirement. This greatly simplifies Apple's development of macOS and enables the company to rapidly introduce new technologies like Metal -- the same way that exclusively running iOS on premium devices with consistent hardware specifications makes it much easier to upgrade and improve compared to the fractionalized world of Android, stretched thin across a disparate range of mostly low-end, under-specced devices. Additionally, the fact that macOS is free means that Apple can focus on fixing issues and adding useful new features, rather than trying to shake up interest with coats of frosting and marketing frills to justify an upgrade fee. Apple loses some revenue from giving its OS updates away for free, but also gains some major benefits. First, it dramatically increases adoption of new updates, enabling Apple to rapidly deploy new apps and technologies for third parties to use. Secondly, it greatly increases the ongoing value and lowers the Total Cost of Ownership for Mac buyers. Mac buyers often pay a premium upfront over Windows PC alternatives, but they can also expect to get free, significant annual updates across the next five or so years. Windows hasn't even been updated since version 10 appeared in 2015; new versions before that came out about every three years between Vista, 7 and 8, and these struggled to justify their $120 to $200 upgrade prices by adding flamboyant and often unappreciated features such as the Metro UI and other radical -- sometimes arbitrary -- shifts that turned off many users. Apple's newest release of macOS Mojave includes a number of major changes that are immediately visible to users. However, rather than just arbitrarily just shifting how things work, the new features overwhelmingly feel like natural improvements that existing users will want to adopt. At as a free upgrade, the majority of users have no reason to hesitate to upgrade. Note that before you update, it's a great idea to back up your Mac first, and also check to see if any important apps you're using have reported any issues with the new software. https://goo.gl/e7H9LD

0 notes