Homesick
Google Docs Link
“C’moooonnnnnnnn Rip, you promised me you’d go!!” Meyers tailed after you, tickets firm in her grasp. You set the stack of boxes you’d been tasked with moving down gently, before turning to her with a sigh.
“Mey, babes, I’m busy. Can’t Nem go with ya?” Your words did little to appease the rust. She shook her head adamantly and grabbed your sleeve.
“The venue’s in a real sketch part of town, and it’s super late. Nem doesn’t like staying out late and- and- you can’t just let me go ALONE! It’s scary out there!” Her grip on your sleeve tightens with determination. You sigh again, and give in, as always.
You knew this venue. It’d been sweeps since you’d been there last, though you were the performer then. The smell was best described as nostalgic. The twang of alcohol and bite of smoke hung heavy in the air as you followed Meyers inside. She held onto your hand, despite your suggestions. You didn’t want to be mistaken for a couple…but that didn’t seem to be an issue now. Everyone was focused on their own little friend groups. You let the smaller rustblood guide you towards the wall. You found yourself distracted by the stage crew, missing most of what Meyers was talking to you about once you both settled. Conversations grew in volume around you while mic checks were done and equipment was moved.
“-the band’s like this one cerulean! He’s a blueblood, just like you, isn’t that cool??”
You nod quietly. Sure, cool. There wasn’t an opening band, which you thought was a little odd. But this was supposedly a smaller show than normal. Maybe a show to revive the venue? You’d heard through the grapevine that this place was dying. You wondered how Meyers got hold of the tickets. Your thoughts continued to race and wander. It's no wonder you missed the lights dimming. It wasn’t even the applause that brought you back to reality, no. It was the vibrations in the wall as the music started to play.
Your eyes knew exactly where to go. Trained to identify the bassist and ignore the star of the show. Bohwie, was it? Who knew! You focused on the bassist, focused on feeling each note he played. The rumble of the wall was a drug like no other. You knew, somehow, what each note felt like. You could tell when a note was missed, when a mistake was made. The nostalgia was better in the music than in the horrid smell. Each note rumbled inside your core. It pierced your soul. You felt like you had a beating heart again, revived with the music.
And this was exactly why you didn’t want to go. The bittersweet feeling of belonging, of the puzzle pieces settling into their places again. It was healing a piece of you that you didn’t want healed. You weren’t fucking ready for this wound to heal. Scars or no scars, arms or no arms. Healing hurt more than loss.
Loss was realizing Home wasn’t a place you could return to. It wasn’t the hive you’ve lived in for so long, with your oversized lusus, decorated in scattered lego pieces. Home was not a person. Your kismesis, the one who took this away from you, he wasn’t home. Home couldn’t be found in the boxes you moved every day, or the legos you bide your time with. It wasn’t in the old fashioneds you downed to forget where Home really was. Home was the fire being rekindled in your chest. Home wasn’t something you could touch, but something you felt ignite like a match as soon as the music started. It pierced your soul, forcing itself and life into your lungs. You didn’t want to come because you knew this feeling would return, and it would be painful. Your arms didn’t need muscle to have the muscle memory of playing. The feeling of plucking strings to play bass lines you had written on the shitty couch beside your best friends would never truly leave you. Did you really think it would? Did you really think you could escape the very thing that was so woven into your entire being that the very idea of being separated from it drove you into a sweeps-long depression? You had been homesick for so long, when home was right beside you. It’s call had been falling on deaf ears for too long.
You felt tears well up in your eyes. For a brief moment, you considered stepping outside for a smoke and cry break. But you couldn’t bear to miss a single moment of this. You knew this was the answer. You missed your bass, you missed the adrenaline. You missed the rumble of the drumset in your feet and the ringing in your ears after the shows. You missed the late night band chats, you missed feeling part of something. You missed your bass. You missed your friends. You missed the scene. You missed your bass. You missed yourself. Half of your heart yearned to reach out and try again, knowing full well the music had never left your tired bones. The other half broke, knowing you’d given it all up, and there was truly no going back. Home was there beside you all along, and it hurt to acknowledge that you’d shut yourself out.
Your train of thought was scattered as Meyers grabbed your sleeve. You instinctively put a smile on your face as you look at her. She mouths “are you okay?” or, maybe she said it, you’re not certain. It’s incredibly loud. You’re still and quiet, thinking hard about her question. Her eyes scan your face for any sort of answer.
Your heart still hurt, freshly broken once again, but the empty homesickness was gone, finally, it was gone. Your smile grows with a confident nod. Yeah, you were okay. You’d be okay later, too. You felt alive for the first time in sweeps. Home wasn’t something you had to long for anymore. It was beside you all along.
You’ve waited long enough.
It’s time to go home, Riptid.
25 notes
·
View notes
large zionist blocklist below
i've compiled a list of all the blogs positively interacting with the @/israel-palestine-bingo blog
there's more info about how the names were complied under the read more, but just to get an idea of how vile the blog is, i just want to quickly mention that the first prize offered in their pinned post, "eight hours of memi mamtera," is the song used in the viral israeli tiktok trend of kidnapping, humiliating, and torturing palestinians in the west bank.
and the "grand prize," which needs no explanation, is "all of palestine! for free!"
some quick info: all the names here have either approvingly replied to, reblogged from, or liked one or more of @/israel-palestine-bingo's posts. for likes, i've only gathered names that appear under their original posts; mostly ones that have not been reblogged, and some with 2-3 reblogs that have not left the immediate sphere of zionists. i've also made sure that these are blogs who have either liked more than one posts from them, or who frequently reblogs from other zionists.
you can also quickly look through the blog yourself (it doesn't have that many posts), or check out any of the names on the list with a quick 'israel' or 'palestine' in the search bar or their blogs.
there are more screenshots at the end of the posts, including ones showing who made the blog (ani-lo-daredevil / katenotbishop), and the bingo board itself (ashenpumpkin).
blocking tip: fastest way to mass block users (on desktop) is to go to settings -> the blog your blocking them from -> scroll all the way down to 'blocked tumblrs,' and then copy-paste the name your blocking
names listed below in alphabetical order
reminder again, block don't engage
2peachy
acleverforgery
ani-lo-daredevil
apollo-enthusiast
ashenpumpkin <- credited for making the bingo board, reblogged/liked almost all of their posts.
aureatecorvid
avi-on-jumblr (main @/clear-what-i-was-seeing)
awstheticshit
bambahalva
bleepiesheepie
bluenorther
blueredfetch
bones-and-crows
britneysmeanshirt
cannibalism-is-my-love-language
captain-navii
casavanse
celepito
chubbybubba
ciitrus--fruitz
coffeelovinggayidiot
da-socks
davos-is-the-one-true-king
dchan87
disregardenedgnostic
elder-millennial-of-zion
faggotry-enjoyer
fdelopera
flowercrownsandfairylights
fluffel677
fluffy-art-moss
george-lucas-is-god
got-chavi
icereader12
illegitimatetenenbaum
inklingm8
its-hila
jewishlivesmatter
just-illegal
karinhasdacookie
katenotbishop <- the main account of the person running the blog. her sideblog is @/ani-lo-daredevil
kelluinox
kingofslush
letaot-ze-magniv
lingonberryjamistakenwhat
lovelyhairedpianist
magic-coffee
marrymepadfoot
marvel-ous-posts
masters-puddle <- pornblog
mixmangosmangoverse
morganas-simp
mossadspydolphin
multifandermissesanakin
nameless370
namiko026
nevleg32
notcrazyiswear
oakstar519
perfectlynormalperson
psychologeek
queerius
randomname3
redvodyanoi
rhysaka
sally006
sbinklebooper
scp-1296
shinekocreator <- commented, 'but is this the 8 hour version?' on a post where someone ''won'' the song used in the tiktok torture videos.
snakelung
sort-of-a-demon
soxiyy
stuffandatherstuff
tearsandice
tedious-waffle
thebejeweledwatercat
the-library-alcove
thirdmagic
thisgingerhasnosoul
timegirl
tolaat-bli-toelet <- the person running the bingo blog. mainblog is @/katenotbishop
transmascpetewentz
tribulation-of-somnolence
unexistencerpg
viktorrotkiv
wanderingmadscientist
whiterose-blackrose
whitesunlars
why5x5
note: @/tolaat-bli-toelet changed her username to @/ani-lo-daredevil (her main is still @/katenotbishop)
and from the same post,
the last post was also reblogged by the creator of the israel-palestine-bingo blog
9K notes
·
View notes
“awe poor lil pup, you seem so restless. do you want something, puppy?”
“you can look at me and whine all you wanna, i can’t give you want you want til you ask. oh i know it’s so embarrassing having to say what you want, hm? c’mon, speak, pup. i know you can do it”
“good boy! awe did that only make you needier? so adorable, squeezing your legs together because you want to be filled so bad. be good, lay down and spread those legs for me.”
“god you sound so pretty when i slide into you angel, such a pretty little pup.”
“fuck, you’re taking me so well. keep making those pretty noises for me puppy, you feel so good on my cock.”
“you want more? you want me to touch your cock while i fuck you? what a greedy pup. get on all fours for me.”
“such a little puppy in heat, begging so desperately for me to breed you. who am i to deny my pup my cum when he just needs it that badly?”
“fuuck, just like that. oh god, yes, grind against my hand while i fill you up, good boy.”
“getting close, puppy? you want to cum? beg.”
“goood boy, that’s it angel, just like that. god you feel so good, pulling me in deeper, cumming all over my cock.”
hhh thinkin….a lotta thoughts rn…..
3K notes
·
View notes