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trollcafe · 2 years

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Homesick

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“C’moooonnnnnnnn Rip, you promised me you’d go!!” Meyers tailed after you, tickets firm in her grasp. You set the stack of boxes you’d been tasked with moving down gently, before turning to her with a sigh.

“Mey, babes, I’m busy. Can’t Nem go with ya?” Your words did little to appease the rust. She shook her head adamantly and grabbed your sleeve.

“The venue’s in a real sketch part of town, and it’s super late. Nem doesn’t like staying out late and- and- you can’t just let me go ALONE! It’s scary out there!” Her grip on your sleeve tightens with determination. You sigh again, and give in, as always.

You knew this venue. It’d been sweeps since you’d been there last, though you were the performer then. The smell was best described as nostalgic. The twang of alcohol and bite of smoke hung heavy in the air as you followed Meyers inside. She held onto your hand, despite your suggestions. You didn’t want to be mistaken for a couple…but that didn’t seem to be an issue now. Everyone was focused on their own little friend groups. You let the smaller rustblood guide you towards the wall. You found yourself distracted by the stage crew, missing most of what Meyers was talking to you about once you both settled. Conversations grew in volume around you while mic checks were done and equipment was moved.

“-the band’s like this one cerulean! He’s a blueblood, just like you, isn’t that cool??”

You nod quietly. Sure, cool. There wasn’t an opening band, which you thought was a little odd. But this was supposedly a smaller show than normal. Maybe a show to revive the venue? You’d heard through the grapevine that this place was dying. You wondered how Meyers got hold of the tickets. Your thoughts continued to race and wander. It's no wonder you missed the lights dimming. It wasn’t even the applause that brought you back to reality, no. It was the vibrations in the wall as the music started to play.

Your eyes knew exactly where to go. Trained to identify the bassist and ignore the star of the show. Bohwie, was it? Who knew! You focused on the bassist, focused on feeling each note he played. The rumble of the wall was a drug like no other. You knew, somehow, what each note felt like. You could tell when a note was missed, when a mistake was made. The nostalgia was better in the music than in the horrid smell. Each note rumbled inside your core. It pierced your soul. You felt like you had a beating heart again, revived with the music.

And this was exactly why you didn’t want to go. The bittersweet feeling of belonging, of the puzzle pieces settling into their places again. It was healing a piece of you that you didn’t want healed. You weren’t fucking ready for this wound to heal. Scars or no scars, arms or no arms. Healing hurt more than loss.

Loss was realizing Home wasn’t a place you could return to. It wasn’t the hive you’ve lived in for so long, with your oversized lusus, decorated in scattered lego pieces. Home was not a person. Your kismesis, the one who took this away from you, he wasn’t home. Home couldn’t be found in the boxes you moved every day, or the legos you bide your time with. It wasn’t in the old fashioneds you downed to forget where Home really was. Home was the fire being rekindled in your chest. Home wasn’t something you could touch, but something you felt ignite like a match as soon as the music started. It pierced your soul, forcing itself and life into your lungs. You didn’t want to come because you knew this feeling would return, and it would be painful. Your arms didn’t need muscle to have the muscle memory of playing. The feeling of plucking strings to play bass lines you had written on the shitty couch beside your best friends would never truly leave you. Did you really think it would? Did you really think you could escape the very thing that was so woven into your entire being that the very idea of being separated from it drove you into a sweeps-long depression? You had been homesick for so long, when home was right beside you. It’s call had been falling on deaf ears for too long.

You felt tears well up in your eyes. For a brief moment, you considered stepping outside for a smoke and cry break. But you couldn’t bear to miss a single moment of this. You knew this was the answer. You missed your bass, you missed the adrenaline. You missed the rumble of the drumset in your feet and the ringing in your ears after the shows. You missed the late night band chats, you missed feeling part of something. You missed your bass. You missed your friends. You missed the scene. You missed your bass. You missed yourself. Half of your heart yearned to reach out and try again, knowing full well the music had never left your tired bones. The other half broke, knowing you’d given it all up, and there was truly no going back. Home was there beside you all along, and it hurt to acknowledge that you’d shut yourself out.

Your train of thought was scattered as Meyers grabbed your sleeve. You instinctively put a smile on your face as you look at her. She mouths “are you okay?” or, maybe she said it, you’re not certain. It’s incredibly loud. You’re still and quiet, thinking hard about her question. Her eyes scan your face for any sort of answer.

Your heart still hurt, freshly broken once again, but the empty homesickness was gone, finally, it was gone. Your smile grows with a confident nod. Yeah, you were okay. You’d be okay later, too. You felt alive for the first time in sweeps. Home wasn’t something you had to long for anymore. It was beside you all along.

You’ve waited long enough.

It’s time to go home, Riptid.

#riptid canuis #meyers result #ghost.art #drabbles #no proofreading no test run no nuthin #it gets posted rn

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vulturedimension · 7 months

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we are discussing our childhood passions on the dash tonight

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haemosexuality · 9 months

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one step closer to being real

#they cant say fuck yet but they could probably get away with hell #adventure time #fionna and cake #when/if this gets to 10k im turning rbs off #its at 9k rn so it probably will soon #post neutered everyone go home #ok this has calmed down enough that im turning rbs on again

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heritageposts · 5 months

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large zionist blocklist below

i've compiled a list of all the blogs positively interacting with the @/israel-palestine-bingo blog

there's more info about how the names were complied under the read more, but just to get an idea of how vile the blog is, i just want to quickly mention that the first prize offered in their pinned post, "eight hours of memi mamtera," is the song used in the viral israeli tiktok trend of kidnapping, humiliating, and torturing palestinians in the west bank.

and the "grand prize," which needs no explanation, is "all of palestine! for free!"

some quick info: all the names here have either approvingly replied to, reblogged from, or liked one or more of @/israel-palestine-bingo's posts. for likes, i've only gathered names that appear under their original posts; mostly ones that have not been reblogged, and some with 2-3 reblogs that have not left the immediate sphere of zionists. i've also made sure that these are blogs who have either liked more than one posts from them, or who frequently reblogs from other zionists.

you can also quickly look through the blog yourself (it doesn't have that many posts), or check out any of the names on the list with a quick 'israel' or 'palestine' in the search bar or their blogs.

there are more screenshots at the end of the posts, including ones showing who made the blog (ani-lo-daredevil / katenotbishop), and the bingo board itself (ashenpumpkin).

blocking tip: fastest way to mass block users (on desktop) is to go to settings -> the blog your blocking them from -> scroll all the way down to 'blocked tumblrs,' and then copy-paste the name your blocking

names listed below in alphabetical order reminder again, block don't engage

2peachy acleverforgery ani-lo-daredevil apollo-enthusiast ashenpumpkin <- credited for making the bingo board, reblogged/liked almost all of their posts. aureatecorvid avi-on-jumblr (main @/clear-what-i-was-seeing) awstheticshit bambahalva bleepiesheepie bluenorther blueredfetch bones-and-crows britneysmeanshirt cannibalism-is-my-love-language captain-navii casavanse celepito chubbybubba ciitrus--fruitz coffeelovinggayidiot da-socks davos-is-the-one-true-king dchan87 disregardenedgnostic elder-millennial-of-zion faggotry-enjoyer fdelopera flowercrownsandfairylights fluffel677 fluffy-art-moss george-lucas-is-god got-chavi icereader12 illegitimatetenenbaum inklingm8 its-hila jewishlivesmatter just-illegal karinhasdacookie

katenotbishop <- the main account of the person running the blog. her sideblog is @/ani-lo-daredevil

kelluinox kingofslush letaot-ze-magniv lingonberryjamistakenwhat lovelyhairedpianist magic-coffee marrymepadfoot marvel-ous-posts masters-puddle <- pornblog mixmangosmangoverse morganas-simp mossadspydolphin multifandermissesanakin nameless370 namiko026 nevleg32 notcrazyiswear oakstar519 perfectlynormalperson psychologeek queerius randomname3 redvodyanoi rhysaka sally006 sbinklebooper scp-1296 shinekocreator <- commented, 'but is this the 8 hour version?' on a post where someone ''won'' the song used in the tiktok torture videos. snakelung sort-of-a-demon soxiyy stuffandatherstuff tearsandice tedious-waffle thebejeweledwatercat the-library-alcove thirdmagic thisgingerhasnosoul timegirl tolaat-bli-toelet <- the person running the bingo blog. mainblog is @/katenotbishop transmascpetewentz tribulation-of-somnolence unexistencerpg viktorrotkiv wanderingmadscientist whiterose-blackrose whitesunlars why5x5

note: @/tolaat-bli-toelet changed her username to @/ani-lo-daredevil (her main is still @/katenotbishop)

and from the same post,

the last post was also reblogged by the creator of the israel-palestine-bingo blog

#zionist blocklist #block don't engage #after looking through the blog i began recognizing so many names from it among the liberal crypto-zionist crowd #which is part of why i decided to make this list to begin with #and again - if you're worried about the way i've compiled the names you can look through the blog yourself #it doesn't have that many posts and you'll get a better sense of why i'm singling out this blog and the people who interact with it #their latest bingo post rn is one where they've attached their meme game to a news article about that school-room massacre #where civilians were - including young children - were shot and murdered at point-blank by IOF soliders

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pupboyxander · 2 months

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“awe poor lil pup, you seem so restless. do you want something, puppy?”

“you can look at me and whine all you wanna, i can’t give you want you want til you ask. oh i know it’s so embarrassing having to say what you want, hm? c’mon, speak, pup. i know you can do it”

“good boy! awe did that only make you needier? so adorable, squeezing your legs together because you want to be filled so bad. be good, lay down and spread those legs for me.”

“god you sound so pretty when i slide into you angel, such a pretty little pup.”

“fuck, you’re taking me so well. keep making those pretty noises for me puppy, you feel so good on my cock.”

“you want more? you want me to touch your cock while i fuck you? what a greedy pup. get on all fours for me.”

“such a little puppy in heat, begging so desperately for me to breed you. who am i to deny my pup my cum when he just needs it that badly?”

“fuuck, just like that. oh god, yes, grind against my hand while i fill you up, good boy.”

“getting close, puppy? you want to cum? beg.”

“goood boy, that’s it angel, just like that. god you feel so good, pulling me in deeper, cumming all over my cock.”

hhh thinkin….a lotta thoughts rn…..

#uhhhh #ummm #can u tell i wna get fucked rn #i couldve written this better prob but #i dont wanna think i wanna get filled :3 #ftm puppy #nsft puppy #puppy sub #puppy posting #puppyboy #ftm nsft #ftm sub #ftm bottom #ftm mlm #mlm nsft #petpl4y #puppypl4y #pupxanderbarks #pupxanderposts

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moth-nocturna · 7 months

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my fav twst event & my fav trio !

#they had such a funny dynamic. they’re my silly boys #this may be my most detailed piece yet. jesus #hopefully i get one of their ssr cards rn after i post this cus #if not im gonna weep #twisted wonderland #twst #twst glorious masquerade #idia shroud #malleus draconia #azul ashengrotto #digital art #illustration #art

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sallymew4 · 2 months

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anime Mob not being as sassy as manga Mob was truly a loss

look at these

it even looks like he’s kind of grinning

#little sassboy #‘see my previous remark’ ?!#woah little man ! better watch your tone there !#hes so funny #i like him #also sorry for all the low effort posts #ill try to get some art n stuff out….cuz i love yall…….#im just silly tired rn 4 no rezn #and like kinda buzy #but thats liek all the time so hhehe #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #shigeo kageyama #kageyama shigeo

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sketchy-tour · 4 months

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Beta playing pool beta playing pool beta playing pool beta-

ANYWAY! I brain rotted about this idea for a hot minute! Take these beta doodles. Putting them in your hands. Now I can properly beam Beta playing pool into your minds with a visual! Enjoy

#welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home arg #wally darling #beta wally #welcome home fanart #welcome home oc #wh wally #my art #sketches #dandy leon #aaa these are all over the coarse of MULTIPLE days. MULTIPLE DAYS OF JUST! THINKING ABOUT POOL!!!!#I wanted to do a doodle of Dandy getting excited about making one ball into the hole despite still losing #but energy low and I wanna post the main doodle rn not laatteerr #I so wish I coulda made it look cooler. BUT OOOH WELL!!!!!!!!!#flopping on the ground #(I am going to continue thinking about this)

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delicourse · 4 months

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been watching dungeon meshi...🌱

#marcille donato #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dunmeshi #girl i dont know what tags are right.#deliart #normally i stay away from the fantasy medieval rpg etc aesthetic but this anime is nice so far ! felt a little refreshing.#i appreciate the textured linework in the anime. although as someone who also does that. i really felt the slight bleed on the colors #in some spots. i wanted to get in there to fix it soo bad in the beginning #textured linework requires a lot of effort to look clean.....but it looks lovely. seems difficult if u gotta color a whole animation #id do neat linework for this but i am base sketch pen for linework pilled rn. post more work less #got more serious wips currently but those are all on the backburner<3 sorrie.....

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tomatoart · 5 months

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like what's up pronoun

#party poison #gerard way #danger days #mcr fanart #mcr #ttlotfk #killjoys #my chemical romance #idk......limps away #i have art i hate tht i need to post but im procrastinating makeing myself believe i can fix it😭 so u get beautiful nonbinary person rn #the fabulous killjoys

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fence-time · 4 months

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When you and the polycule finally put your beds together in minecraft

#fence posts #tangotek #zedaph #impulsesv #skizzleman #team zits #poly zits #hermitcraft #hermitblr #hermitshipping #hermitshipblr #THESE TAGS ARE CANON.#SKIZZ IS A HERMIT #I A #FLIPPING MY LID RN #DRYDTYJFFKTFFYUKFYUEDTGSF #impulse CANNOT get a break 😞

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wasyago · 1 year

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the brainrot won

#GUY S i know i haven't posted anything in a while and thats because im working on a big cool project that i really want to finish without-#distractions. but uh. as you can see. ive been distracted 😔. still working on it tho!!!! and im very happy with it turns out its just-#super time and energy consuming so ive tried to limit my intake of other media to not make myself want to draw other stuff #i also haven't read the last two (two already?????) chapters of RnS and im very sad about it and i want to read it but you know that if i-#read it ill want to make fanart and then ill never finish my project :(#SO. sorrey for the lack of art itll be coming when im free to draw!!!!!!!#but also. yes ive watched new life because i dont want to go insane with nothing but this project on my mind and umm. had to take a little-#break to do a couple designs for fun... and to switch it up a bit because for real im going insane i think #ALSO. friend got me into zelda botw and i haven't played a whole lot yet (because project) but ive tried to take some inspiration for-#designs from there. at least for joel and scott. everyone else not so much...#WELL ANYWAYS this is getting long. i should really stop rambling in the tags and just make separate posts for all this but i dont want to #umm. tags.#new life smp #smallishbeans #mythical sausage #geminitay #pearlescentmoon #smajor1995 #inthelittlewood #my art #sketch

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snails-in-spaceships · 1 year

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#urgghhhh #chatty snails #i just can't get myself to work rn it's so hot and dreary #brain feels lime mush #memes #edit why has this generic meme become my most popular post???

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kdramamilfs · 1 month

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Star Trek DS9: 5x06 Trials and Tribble-ations

bonus:

#trekedit #startrekedit #star trek ds9 #ds9edit #st ds9 #jadzia dax #kira nerys #star trek deep space 9 #star trek #she would get me with this. ive never wanted her more #kicking my legs actually rn.......#every time i see her on my dash im like why havent i giffed jadzia yet . now here we are #my post #*m.gif #this isnt very sharp lol im half asleep

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superfruitland · 8 days

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i'm so normal about these two. the father son duo ever. they don't take up every waking moment of my life. if you've seen me go crazy over them no you haven't. i've never been more normal.

#buffer post #lots of shit going on rn #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt future leo #rottmnt casey jr #live life extras #lee's art #all of these were drawn while/before the latest ll update was being worked on dkfknhnj #dumping all the showable non spoilery ones here #also if this gets a tcest tag i will literally crazy murder you.

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rendevok · 8 months

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Bite me <3

#im not saying he said this. but it FEELS like he said this.#guy who is soooooooo getting what he wants rn #narumitsu #wrightworth #miles edgeworth #phoenix wright #vampire nrmts owns my entire ass. there will be more /threat #its MY art and i say they’re BOTH vampires #wrightworth? more like frightworth ahahaha #or maybe even biteworth #narumitsu but naru-bit-u #ahahahahahhhahhahahahaa😳😳😳😳#anyway sorry this took me so long to post but it’s friday the 13th and it’s been the best day ever so have a treat on me #also this was not INTENDED to be the server icon but it will be until halloween lol #if i dont have people biting me in the notes whats the point #fan art #aa #rendevok

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