#it fucking kills me because she's literally the most worried person on earth
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my grandma has invented the revolutionary concept of a mobile phone you leave at home
#we got her a special Old People one that has a built-in emergency button precisely in case something happens to her when she's out#and she just. never takes the damn thing with her anywhere#girl what's the point#i keep telling her and she's always like ''oh but nobody calls me anyway'' GIRL THATS NOT TH#it's for YOU to call people in fucking emergencies !!!!! it's so if you go outside and fall on your ass and need help you can call ME#what'll you do if you get hurt while out. just lay there and scream and hope someone arrives ?#TAKE THE FUCKING THING#it fucking kills me because she's literally the most worried person on earth#she's Always scared shitless that something will happen to her. or me. or anyone.#if she calls me and i don't answer because i didn't have my phone next to me and didn't hear it ring or i was busy showering or sthg#she's like WHY DONT YOU ANSWER WHAT IF I WAS DYING AND YOU DONT ANSWER#and then the fucking. Let People Know I Need Help device she has she's just like ehhhh whatever lol yolo#i'm gonna staple it to your hand so you Have to take it with you i swear#i'm obviously not wishing for my grandma to get hurt but. if one day she does get hurt outside and doesn't have it with her#i Will rub it in her face.
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re: that *chef kiss* PERFECT Franken-Drummer post and tumblr not being all over The Expanse, I know right?? it’s such an amazing show with so many delightful, complicated characters yet it’s so unfairly slept on! maybe because S1 takes awhile to get going and ppl give up? idk but it makes me sad that I have so few ppl to squeal about Drummer and Amos and Bobbie and Christjen and Ashford and Naomi (ad infinitum) with 😭🚀😭
WHY ARE PEOPLE NOT OBSESSED WITH THE EXPANSE HELLO!?!?! there's literally so much to love about it oh my god. you're right, it DOES take a second to get going but once it does!!!
for those of you who have not read or seen The Expanse series (I myself have yet to read the books), let me tell you why you'll love it:
political space drama with incredibly distinct cultures and phenomenal world building, if you're a details girlie (gn), you're gonna go nuts
the found family vibes!!??! are off!?!? the charts!?!? (minor spoilers for the first few episodes) four people are thrown into a situation in which they accidentally become the most important people/fugitives in the whole galaxy and most of them DO NOT trust each other, what could possible go wrong, and even better, what could possibly go RIGHT
Christjen Avasarala. you are not ready for her. most powerful mover-shaker on earth with the most incredible outfits you've ever seen, refined elegance with the filthiest mouth, plus she's got a classic "whatever those two have going on is so gay it veers into something else entirely" with her younger protective knight lady, Bobbie
Bobbie. the "not to be a lesbian but oh my god" post is made for her. we meet her in the show for the first time when she arm wrestles a robot and WINS. you will be begging for her to step on you with her mech suit
speaking of women I want to step on me Camina Drummer. angry revolutionary pirate queen of my heart. do you miss the unique agony of 2000/10s queerbaiting but want it to be not baiting somehow? this show does that, idk how else to explain it. the most agonizing sapphic pining you've ever seen but it's textual and also not painful because its gay. don't worry, Camina fucks, just not the girl she wants most (also spoilers, but this is not a bury your gays show don't worry)
Jim Holden is literally just Some Guy who becomes the special fantasy chosen one because he simply cannot stop Getting Involved. nosiest bitch in the universe, I love him.
imagine you're a girl who leaves your shitty ex and gets a normal industrial job on a spaceship, only to have a six foot, two hundred pound killer dressed as a mechanic imprint on you like a baby duck, and its unclear whether he wants to fuck you or call you a little sister but he definitely WILL kill for you and will do literally anything you say and then you both end up caught up in a weird galactic war by mistake and there's this other guy with a captain america level moral compass and he's cute and you're into him except your shitty ex is still out there with the biggest secret you have and meanwhile your best female friend is the coolest person you've ever met but you don't think you can be what she needs and you're holding your family together, you're holding the universe together and all you want is justice for your people but unfortunately you've gone and fallen in love with the accidental most important man in the galaxy. well, every day Naomi Nagata wakes up
Praxideke Meng. botanist of my heart. literally tames the rabid guard dog that no one else could. gentle and able to stay gentle because of said dog. which brings me to...
Amos Burton. I saved him for last because he is my guy. he is THAT guy. canonically aromantic pansexual king. are you into guard dog characters? do you find yourself drawn to the "sorry my love language is acts of service and all I'm good at is killing people" characters? amos burton is like seventeen tumblr posts come to life. previously mentioned enormous killer dressed as a mechanic, former heels wearing "I didn't always work in space" sex worker who is always rolling into brothels and being like "you guys unionized?", gives a shit about basically no one in the universe except his crew and every single child in the galaxy, accidental comedian because he cannot stop saying weird shit, not a nice or good person but a loyal one, and one who is always trying to relearn the empathy that was carved out of him as a young person. every time he goes homicidal to protect one of his chosen people (crew + any and every child), an angel gets its wings.
fin.
#answered#the expanse#most of this is cribbed from the essay I was texting a friend the other day lol#which is what inspired my expanse posting in the first place#bc I was like 'I HAVE to stop bothering this friend' lol#btw the canonically aromantic pansexual thing teeeechnically comes from the writers' twitter?#but like#you simply have to watch the show to know that about amos#he mostly doesn't sleep with people in the show and yes the few he does are women but the dude is queer#but anyway the authors have explicitly said he's aromantic and that his sexuality is 'yes'
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Homestuck 2 updated early this month, and we're Yiffy now. It's a Valentine's Day miracle!
Yiffy was one of the most interesting characters in HS2, because literally everyone treated her like shit constantly. Jade's giving her daughter a smooch but also Jade sent her off to a boarding school explicitly because she was embarrassing to acknowledge and also Jade named her child Yiffy Longstocking on a joke and never bothered to change it. In the epilogues, Rose acknowledged that nothing in Candy was "real" and she was joining the rebellion basically for the luls, and one some level Jade and Rose don't think Yiffy is a real three-quarters-human person, and I think they think of her more like an OC in a game they like.
Well, that was my read of HS2, lets see how HSBC handles her.
Oh, this visual is great. Kanaya is so pissed off she's turning into the Ancestor art style in real time. She also kind of looks like Batman, here.
No doubt if your POSSE OF PUBESCENT PUNKS back at school could see you now they'd throw up laughing.
I am suddenly way more interested in Yiffy's gang than I am in half the HS1 cast. What kids join a gang led by a dog girl named Yiffy Longstocking?
Engineering that reprieve might be just about the only real solid your no-show non-mom has ever actually bothered to do for you.
Oh thank christ, there was a part of me worried that Yiffy wouldn't resent her parents for being the second-worst parents in HS2. This is the most interesting thing in the sequels, I think.
TAVVY: ,,, And also, everyone knows you exist now,,, instead of just me,,,
TAVVY: And our moms
TAVVY: Wow,,,!
YIFFY:
TAVVY: You know, i was almost kidnapped,,, once,,,
TAVVY: My mom removed the window, after that,
TAVVY: Which, um, sucked,
TAVVY: Though, i guess you'd know, uh, about that,,,
Oh, interesting. Tavvy knew about Yiffy this whole time? Actually, this and Yiffy's description of him via narration earlier imply they grew up together. I guess that makes sense, since he's Jane's kid and Jade inexplicably put Jane in charge of Yiffy, but he never told Vrissy about her secret sister? That's a bit fucked up, dude. Yiffy's not saying anything (and I hope she doesn't for a long time, until she has something meaningful to say), but her text color is Dave's red, even though she's not related to Dave. Or she is and HSBC is going to retcon HS2's most hated plot point somehow.
Pepis
Look at this ARRANT BEAVIS double fisting those cans of pop
"ARRANT BEAVIS" is a great Homestuckism
The Sylph has been slow boiling, you can tell.
Interesting that Yiffy refers to Kanaya as "The Sylph". I don't know what else she'd call her, I suppose, but Yiffy of all people being the one to mention Classpect is odd.
You've only been around this earth for 15 years, but it's a self-evident fact that there are no useful authorities. Gifted with unimaginable power, their concern only stretches so far as to manhandle those dependent on them, and tangles into ineffectual deadlock the instant it meets a challenge worth addressing. Potential killed for the sake of comfort.
True kindness is real, but only for those that bare teeth and break skin. Why should these disingenuous, bystanding, spineless, SELFISH adults get anything they want?
Fuck yes, Yiffy hates all the HS1 characters. I've been hoping for this, she has more beef with them all than even Tavros, and it's a bit of Vriska energy this comic has needed that neither actually Vriska really provides.
Yiffy being the best thing about HS2 was maybe a hot take before, but hopefully it isn't now. She's great.
JADE: and of course you arent obligated to ever forgive me but... i dont want to lose you too!
JADE: i love you kanaya
JADE: youre my family
KANAYA: You Fucked My Wife
This is the best update in the entire comic.
KANAYA: And Though That Travesty Of A Name Is Undoubtedly An Incomprehensibly Offensive Piece Of This Particular Puzzle
KANAYA: What I See Is Not An Explanation
KANAYA: But A Glossing Over Of The Worst Detail
ROSE: Jane.
Yeah, HS2 kind of glossed over Rose/Jade putting TrumpHitler in charge of their literal child. I could copy/paste this whole conversation but basically Kanaya is pointing out that there's like fifty plot holes in Yiffy's backstory and it makes no fucking sense at all and are they going to retcon her to being Jade/Dave's ecto-kid?
ROSE: You've managed to exhume the solemn cadaver of my mother's memory and make her the star of another argument.
KANAYA: As If You Ever Bothered To Bury Her
ROSE: What does this have to do with anything!?
KANAYA: What I Am Doing Is Demonstrating That I Have No Intention To Mediate This Situation
KANAYA: Or Pacify It
KANAYA: Or Even Be A Little Bit Nice Right Now
KANAYA: So Perhaps Youll Actually Take Me Seriously For Once
This is the well-earned sass we've been waiting for since Yiffy's reveal.
ROSE: But more than anything else, I took her up on it because it felt oddly
ROSE: inevitable.
ROSE: Anyways,
ROSE: Deep down, I knew it didn’t matter.
ROSE: However we handled it.
ROSE: Whatever hurt we caused.
ROSE: It was never that serious.
Man, I'm glad that I'm live-blogging and put my read of the situation up as I went because I fucking called it. Yes! I am capable of retaining information when I read instead of staring at the screen slack-jawed.
ROSE: I knew you would forgive me.
KANAYA: Rose
KANAYA: When Did You Stop Trying
JADE: yeah rose!!!!!
JADE: what the fuck!!!!
Oh shit, Candy Rose is evil?
JADE: b-but i just dont want things to get even worse!!!!!!
KANAYA: Then stop pretending that my feelings are top priority
KANAYA: AND TRY BEING HONEST FOR ONCE
JADE: WHAT DOES IT EVEN MATTER!!!!!!!
KANAYA: Excuse Me?
JADE: you heard me!
JADE: you were wronged kanaya!
JADE: the truth cant change that
JADE: saying it just fucking hurts more
JADE: what does that accomplish?
JADE: its so embarrassing, would you even get it if i had?
JADE: you have no idea what its like out there
JADE: how traumatizing dating regular citizens was
JADE: imagine trying to love someone who already knows every available detail about you
JADE: who has *opinions* on what happened to you as a child
JADE: who assumes youre indestructible
JADE: newsflash it fucking sucks!!!!!!! because no matter how nice they were
JADE: they didnt want to know me
JADE: they wanted to date the god of space
I have no notes, this is great and I'm thrilled everyone is mad now.
JADE: so everyone could lecture me again on how "bad" my "boundaries" are?
ROSE: (I did that one time.)
JADE: you want bad boundaries
JADE: do you know how many people would be waiting outside public bathrooms to talk to me about their problems?
JADE: this one guy randomly started apologizing because they cooked their hamster in the microwave!
JADE: and they looked so sad... i had to hug them and say it was ok
JADE: but it was not ok!
JADE: they murdered their hamster!
Rose: Ugh...
JADE: and their other hamster killed itself
KANAYA: JADE
JADE: out of loneliness!!!!!
What the fuck, this is amazing.
The art here is great, by the way.
JADE: millions of people told me they loved me
JADE: but i was never a real person to them
JADE: i couldn't let that happen to yiffy too
KANAYA: What
JADE: i had to save her kanaya!
JADE: give her the chance to grow up as a normal kid with a normal life
Jade she's half-dog and she's named Yiffy Fucking Longstocking, that ship has sailed. How are people not going to know she's your child?
Oh, okay. She wears a hat. Sure.
This art is so good!
KANAYA: Even If I Didnt Want Her
KANAYA: She Was Already Here
*Makes a note in my "ominous foreshadowing lines journal*
What. Why does Jade have a Frankenstein in her inventory? What's that about?
And that was the update. Honestly? Banger, easily the best HSBC update yet. I could, and if I didn't have DnD in five minutes perhaps would (and perhaps still will!) write a whole essay on this. Phenomenal. A+
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I promised, promised myself that I wouldn’t read the Roman König x Fee fic until it was completed because I knew i would get absolutely drawn in, wrapped up in your exquisite prose, then get addicted and suffer from withdrawals. Unneeded to say I broke said promise and welp here I am 🤡
Thing that surprised me was how quickly he endeared himself to me? A cock swinging village massacring brute that I was FULLY prepared to hate had me sighing by then end of chapter 3 with the “you care about my head?” ✋😩 YES I worry for your stupid head you adorable monster.
It’s uncanny how similarly Fee and I felt as the plot progressed. I know this is a self insert and though I made an OC for fee, you were able to capture the feeling of hate to curiousity to distrust to budding emotions on the readers side so beautifully and in only three chapters?? What sorcery is this?? I could go on and on about how I’m just… in awe of your writing skills.
It’s the small things too. The effort he went through to understand Fee, learning her language like he desperately wants to be a part of her. It’s just his delight in the simple things like having a woman and buying her pretty things. I AM GOING TO GNAW OFF MY ARM THIS IS SO GOOD!! I don’t know if you’ve watched HBOs Rome, but they remind me of Pullo and Eirene so much! Like you can’t tell me König doesn’t fit that goofy brawdy soldier who’s only hobbies are drinking and fucking and fighting to a T!
Then it got me thinking…. If König is Pullo then Simon is Vorenus. He has that straight laced, no bs aura about him. Now I’m imagining them both in this universe and please excuse me while I melt in a puddle 🫠
This is perhaps the best piece of fiction I’ve read in a while. I can’t wait for part 4, I have no doubt it will be wonderful as usual. Please accept my maladaptive daydream interpretation of Fee (first she was supposed to be a wood nymph, then the earth goddess then a fairy queen?? I’m not sure anymore. There was so much great imagery couldn’t settle on one. Your honor, we lost the plot.)
Oh my goodness OH MY GOODNESS ❤️❤️❤️
You shower me with praise and I’m over here like aaahh... for me? 🥺❤️
And yes I’ve watched Rome like four times at least! Every time I watch it just gets better, the producers and crew really outdid themselves with all the details in that series. I consider it one of the best TV shows ever made and excuse me but you opened a Pandora’s box here, I'm just so pleased you brought this up...
It took so much time for Pullo to grow on me, I was so frustrated with his character but when he killed Eirene’s man because he was so in love with her and was just like: “Oh there's something in the way of our love? Oh well. *there*, solved.” Gosh I was IN LOVE. I’m sorry, I’m a horrible person, but I fell in love with Pullo right that second. And yeah König is kinda like Pullo in that sense! Eirene wails at the corpse of her ex-lover and Pullo is just like “Um, yeah nasty business but… why are you crying? Oh, oh yeah, oops. But hey, we could be together? Oh, you don’t want me? Damn. How come?” I wanted to shake and kiss him for being so dumb and adorable.
And Ghost is Vorenus YES, you get it 100 %! And the tragic love story of Vorenus & Niobe, oh god, took me about a month to get over it. And Vorenus being under the protection of Mars first and then literally becoming Pluto, the Lord of the Underworld… The mythology nerd in me is swooning over here. The only thing about Vorenus that's slightly König coded to me was when Pullo had to explain to him what a clitoris is, and Vorenus is like “How do you know this about my wife?!?!” and almost kills him :D That’s so so Roman!König.
But AHHH let me squeal about your maladaptive daydream adaption next: she’s the most gorgeous Fee ever, so lovely and feminine and yet, strong and possessing that earthly power in her. I love the color of her dress too!! There’s a lot of earth & water elements linked to Fee so that color (green to turquoise?) is the most perfect combination of earth and sea, while König is more like fire & air, coming from the mountains and slow to anger but when the fire rises, no one is safe...
This was so lovely, thank you so much! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story 🩷💋
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Hi!!!!! I noticed your host!Amelia doodles and i thought it was SO cool and just wanted to know if you had any more info abt it?????? sorry to bothhher
Hi ♡ thank you for finding interest in it. I dont mind asks at all so dont even worry about that either... onto the actual question. Ill be real, most of my ideas for that au arent planned because the idea of it wasnt planned either. ...it came out of me playing tomadachi life. . . I can just recount everything so it makes more sense maybe
Scenty doesn't make them do challenges she keeps them on the plane to live life like theyre bugs and basically finds joy in being able to watch them and maintain control while also craving more interaction from other people. this ultimately means that no one gets eliminated and no one is in any real danger. however, Charlotte is literally dying from the mold and ends up . yknow, dying. Freaking Scenty out because one she didn't expect it and two since she had never killed anyone during their stay in the plane she never learns the respawn command making it even more of a disaster to her mental state lol
Ok so this is where things get fuzzy im not to sure how charlotte does it BUT SHES ABLE TO NAVIGATE THE RADIO (maybe another stone is there in the waiting room idk let me have this) and ultimately is able to arrive back at earth. Parker runs into her they have a whole back and forth, Charlotte is avoiding him with her mixed feelings while Parker wants them to have some sort of communication because hes equally as worried for her as he is frustrated. Im pretty sure i planned for them to investigate the whole plane and maybe even more about Scenty (without knowing its the unknown 'deity' who trapped her and the others.) Charlotte concluded she has to stop Scenty by going back which . means she has to kill herself. Which Parker is immediately against and they have their second big fight but it ends with Charlotte dying anyway.
anyway SOMEHOW Charlotte is able to go to Scentys world and wow she finds out shes a normal person who just decided to fuck around and find out i guess. Scenty is immediately overwhelmed with joy because wow Charlottes here and shes alive! And shes. not a murderer, hah. But Charlotte is pissed so they definitely have a very funny bonding moment where Charlotte has to suppress the urge to kill this naive and too overbearing candle. While trying to figure out how to stop what she's doing with everyone else.
..and yeah, the ending is basically undecided because i had planned for either one of them to die.. OR BOTH who knows really but i still dunno either way so there's that. I hope you enjoyed my long spiel cause this might be what you get for a while lol and if none of this makes sense, then sorry, but i literally can not construct anything comprehensible in my current state LOL
#hostmelia aka freaky amelia#freakmelia.. lol#thats about it really#singyasks#i didnt plan to do much with this au since it was basically made out of a shitpost#but have fun haha
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Can we talk about Trevor’s sass and bully energy in CoD? Please? Please, I really want to talk about the sassy boi so bad!!!!!!
I have so many ✨thoughts✨ as to why an otherwise open guy who makes friends exclusively with fellow misfits would be so hostile to someone like Hector (a misfit trying to do the right thing).
I know some people have pointed out that it’s because Trevor is slightly affected by Dracula’s curse, but I feel like that kinda takes away from a more core/interesting take that you can make an argument for.
While I like the idea of even a Belmont being susceptible to dark magic to some degree (we see this happen with other Belmonts like Simon and Richter), I feel like it takes away from something that I think is a little more obvious?
Man’s is pissed, bro.
Trevor and his family have gone through hell up until this point. His ancestor basically doomed the clan to forever hunt the most evil being on earth for what will end up being centuries (looking at you, Leon). Which is good, considering they’ve made themselves the most qualified, but it cost them basic respect from the people they’re protecting and they’ve lost so much more because of it. But they’re noble and don’t seem to complain. You’re lucky, Leon.
Now, we know Trevor probably doesn’t care what people think about him so long as he can keep them safe. It’s his duty, and we see time and time again that he’ll literally do anything to make sure people are alive so that they can think their stupid silly thoughts about him and his family. By his time, he’s exiled, excommunicated, and shunned but he never once complains. Even when people come crawling to him for help, he doesn’t hesitate to do so. This is what he was called to do: kill Dracula and bring peace. He’s noble like that. He’s a knight like Leon in his own way.
As far as he knows, Dracula cannot come back after he and his friends defeated him in CV3.
Until things start looking… off. There’s a creeping darkness and uncertainty that feels so familiar. But that’s impossible, right? Dracula is gone, so how…?
“You’re telling me Dracula’s employee - some fucking guy - wants to bring Dracula back from the dead!?”
Would you not also be fucking pissed? To have your family endure centuries of pain and trauma - to have experienced it for yourself - and finally done what you have prepared your entire life to potentially do, only for some fucking guy to try to fuck all of that up? Would you not rush out of your home to go kick their ass and pummel them for daring to plunge the world into darkness? That same darkness you yourself expunged and went through hell to do???
Uh, if you say no you’re a liar.
From canon, we know that Trevor and Sypha have either started a family or are at least thinking about it at this point (I assume it’s the former since I am 110% certain she would have tagged along. Things would have been so much easier with her magic. And I personally think that would be a fun date idea - beating the tar out of Dracula’s unhinged employee - but I realize I’m not most people). Point being, Trevor not only has to worry about all of humanity (again), but his family. And, considering he was the last known member of his family when Dracula bit the dust, he’s going to fight tooth and nail to keep this.
If you say you’d play nice and try to be understanding when the lives and futures of your kids are at stake, you’re lying. Idk what to tell ya.
Trevor obviously takes initiative and it borders on impulsiveness, but he’s not going to make the mistake of letting this situation get to a point that all hell breaks loose if he has any say in it. I do like to think that he’s inherently a little sassy anyway, but let’s ramp that up to 100 when he’s livid.
But anger leads to getting sloppy and making mistakes. He doesn’t give Hector a chance to explain himself. That would take too much time. The Forgemaster could deceive him and cost him time or worse. He gets distracted and lets Isaac get away. He gets distracted again and nearly gets himself killed.
Maybe under different circumstances Hector would have at least gotten an apology. Like “aw fuck, sorry. I forgot there were two of you. My bad. Wanna help me out with this one?” Ultimately, he does help Hector despite his initial skepticism, and I think it’s a mix of feeling at least a little bad about beating him up and realizing that he works better with a team.
Going off of how he talks down to Hector after beating him up, one could argue that maybe Trevor is just kinda full of himself? Like he’s riding the high off of being the hero? Well, you’re wrong. Trevor is very quick to hype his friends up and give them equal credit in kicking Dracula’s ass. Sure, maybe he jokes about it with his friends, but he’s not full of himself to the degree that he’s going to hype himself up when his friends aren’t around. He’s humble like that. Fight me behind Waffle House about it.
Trevor isn’t incompetent, but he does let his emotions control him. Again, he works better with a team, but he’s so impulsive and pissed at this point that he probably just ran out of the house to go and do what is (up until this point) his job; keep people safe. Keep his family safe.
So, yeah, maybe the curse feeds into his emotions and decisions, but I think it’s more compelling for Trevor to be a very tired, traumatized, and livid dad doing what he thinks is the right thing to do to make sure his kids (and other people, sure) have a future in which they don’t have to go through the horrible things their mom and dad (and uncle Grant and uncle Alucard) went through. If he could see what became of future members of his family and see the hells they faced, I genuinely think it would break his heart.
So yeah, Trevor is bitchy, but I think he has a right to be bitchy when someone is threatening to blow down his metaphorical house of cards that he went through hell to stack up.
#castlevania curse of darkness#trevor c belmont#I love this man so much#he’s the goodest boy#fite me about it#he’s within his right to be sassy#castlevania: dracula's curse#castlevania iii#Castlevania
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Ok. So I've watched the entirety of the first season of Hazbin Hotel.
Messy and long review, proceed with caution.
It was really forgettable, if I'm being honest. Mostly because the pacing was just... bad. Not enough to not be able to follow the plot of the episode, but it's almost impressive how there's so much going on throughout the episode, but at the end you just feel like nothing substantial has happened.
I can't believe I'm going to say this as someone who adores musicals, but the songs here are a complete waste of time. Many of them begin too suddenly, it just feels awkward, not to mention a lot of them are here because they sound cool and that's it.
Now, I liked SOME of them, but they just wasted the precious time that could've been used for establishing character dynamics better and actually making them bond. The most memorable songs are wasted on less important subplots, which could've been shortened which actually would benefit the redemption/found family thing show is clearly going for.
Characters are so vaguely written, it almost felt like Viv was too scared to reveal stuff about them or the audience might get upset because it wasn't the same stuff they expected. It sometimes done to a such a weird degree it really clashes with the show's tone. It often felt like I was watching a children's cartoon that's allowed to say "fuck" sometimes.
Humor was just not funny. I guess it wasn't as bad as pilot, where every first line of Angel Dust was about sex, but still. 99% of the time there's no punchline, just swears. The only thing that made me laugh was a moment I was supposed to take seriously I think? It was when !spoilers! Sir Pentious was erased from hell by Adam. "Wow, that could've been ugly" just made me burst laughing for a moment, while characters on the screen cried. Don't worry, they were cheering for Charlie literally 3 seconds later, soo my conscience is clear here.
Villains were underwhelming, most of them were a set up for a second season and tbh the V's mostly just wasted time, same with Alastor who was a Gary Stue, until he wasn't. That leaves us with Adam, who just straight up broke the lore for a second. He's also such an asshole it makes you wonder why angels didn't just quietly kicked him out of the heaven.
Redemption. It wasn't handled well, mostly because writers were too busy showing literally ANYTHING but how our characters growed and progresses. It was bizarre watching Emily (or what's her name) side with Charlie because she said she saw how Angel Dust grew as a person? Expect he hasn't really changed? He behaved normally that night, that's literally it. He did stand up to Val, but like... If he didn't, would the heaven just be like "Lol look at that looser, couldn't tell his rapist to fuck off LMAO, Adam, send his ass to double hell"? That was fucking weird, you'd think they'd be more concerned about him killing people in the past, but whatever.
I guess I round this messy ramble with this: HH had potential, but the second you start to think about literally anything you have been shown your head begins to hurt. If you want to watch something and forget immediately, you can watch Hazbin. If you close your eyes on how the show handled a certain topics and just not think about it at all, it's just painfully average. The second you begin to question shit you end up going into an endless rabbit hole of "this could've been so much better" and "omfg what were writers thinking".
My undoubtedly professional rating of the show? 3/10. Can't wait to see the second season where it turns out Adam is alive and he became Charlie's step-dad, because Lucifer kept his promise.
Thanks to everyone who read this whole tangent, initially it was much longer, but I decided to save some stuff for the future rants that may or may not happen. Have a happy fucking day... On earth?
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Did the bathroom stall person STAY a stranger?
N-S-F-W and definitely TMI content ahead lmao:
He did, the poor fellow! Here's some backstory to explain how on earth my shy-as-hell dumbass worked the courage to have some bathroom stall shenanigans:
So I started dating this classmate in highschool, (the one I often refer to as "the deceased" bc he's dead to me) and he was a major asshole. Emotionally abusive, controlling, made me feel bad about literally every single thing I enjoyed, especially writing fanfiction and not being a boring piece of shit like he was.
Welp! I spent like a decade with this bastard bc he was a classic abusive dickhead who pushed my friends away and I couldn't see that he was a major asshole until I started therapy. When I was 26 my therapist, clever lady she was, knew I was suffering but also v attached to him still, so she suggested us to "take a break". Not breaking up, just take a break, for one month, and reevaluate the relationship.
I spent a long time moping over him but my bestie said "wait does that mean I can finally take you clubbing?" and I proceeded to have an absolute blast dancing and having fun with her!
The second time we went clubbing, it was a star wars themed party! I went as a cute padmé amidala, and spent the night dancing and watching snippets of SW movies that played on the big screens, explaining to my very confused bff who's never watched a star war in her life why I was attracted to the angry looking alien with horns and red skin w/ black tattoos - darth maul. She remained confused.
(Fun fact, I'm autistic and loud environments make me literally sick, but I think I needed this freedom so badly my brain let me have these moments for once. Now I literally cannot enter a club. Anyway.)
While we're dancing, a handsome clone-trooper looking type walked past us and I think I gave him such an eye-fucking of a look that he made a beeline to me and took me to dance (I gave a thumbs-up to my bff bc she is v protective and will push creepy dudes away from me, bless her).
Then we started kissing and fooling around in a corner, and the guy invited me over to his place.
(here's the thing, my ex literally acted like sex was a chore. I repeatedly, gently asked him whether he was asexual, promising to be okay with it if it was the case but he swore he wasnt which. made me feel like I was very unappealing and did a number on my self-esteem. Oof.)
So I was pent up as hell and desperate for a fuck, especially a fuck with an enthusiastic guy for once in my life. On the other hand, girls that go with strangers to their place might be raped or killed. So when I said no, the guy suggested we fucked in the bathroom.
Now, that wouldn't be proper ladylike behavior, i reasoned with myself, while fully cupping the guy's groin with my hand. So I said a very unconvincing no, and the guy asked if I was sure, and I said "we might be caught", and he said "not if we're quiet"
...and goddamnit I was so damn horny and I can't even blame it on being drunk bc I don't drink alcohol out bc it makes me sleepy. This was 100% horny brain in charge and I was the one to actually pull the guy into the bathroom with me.
(We're gonna fade to black here bc I'm not willing to share those details here, but I can point out the funny bits):
there wasn't enough room in that bathroom stall for someone to pee comfortably, much less for two people to squeeze in and do the horizontal vertical tango
if you ever wanna do that, do that early in the night, not after dancing for hours because your knees will want to buckle the entire time and that's not hot
be smart and have condoms in your bag. wrap it up, folks. it's the 21st century and everyone who's sexually active should have their protection regardless of gender or lack thereof <3
the sound of toilets flushing nearby is quite the mood-killer, but if the music drowns out most of it, one can make it work
do not laugh when your very worried friend who's been looking for you all night calls out your name in the bathroom, trying to find you
Tell her you'll be right out and try to wriggle out of the arms of the dude who seems to have fallen in love with you or something.
Thank you for the fun times, catch his phone number or contact info of any kind
loudly announce you and the friend are both leaving to give the poor fella hidden in a stall in the lady's bathroom a window of time to escape unseen
forget you had his contact info for three months bc you are ADHD, aaand now it's too awkward to send a text of 'hey its bathroom stall girl, how's it going?'
#pls ask me what happened after the 'break' period was over and i met my ex again lmao#it's another funny one
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me rambling to myself that who's afraid of little old me is so ashlyn taylor coded:
"if you wanted me dead, you should've just said": all the witches that attacked her house and killed her parents just to get to her, they killed her sister and they wanted her too
"who's afraid of little old me?": her going from being this sweet girl who was naive to being the most powerful witch to walk the earth and everyone's so scared of this fucking 5'2 girl who just wanted to be loved
"the scandal was contained, the bullet just grazed": the fact that kimberly's death was written off as a random violent crime and not something that was planned out from her birth
"you don't get to tell me you feel bad": all the witches pleading with her at the end of their life because she was going to kill them and how they just wanted to save their covens and families by keeping the twins 'contained' aka dead
"don't you worry folks we took out all her teeth": they killed kimberly first, took her teeth, her protector, the person who kept ashlyn alive for years
"they said they didn't do it to hurt me, but what if they did": witches told her as they were dying that it wasn't personal, they didn't want to hurt the twins just because
"you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me": literally her home, the coldness, never getting love because her mom was so scared of losing them
"so all you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs": the taylor murder became a classic and people on the internet started talking about the twins as suspects, even tho the twins had no pictures and no one knew what they looked like, they were never found at the scene of the crime with their parents. the house grew old and decrepit and teenagers with a sick fascination with the crime would break in to see it
"i was tame, i was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean": literally ashlyn was the sweetest even when unhoused, even when she was being chased and being hunted, even when she was loving terrible people *coughs* ace, even when her girlfriend was killed because of her, she was tame and gentle and kind
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hi it's me again. I read traitor's blade once a couple years ago and it slapped! And now that I'm mourning riyira revelations being done so I read it again and now I'm halfway through Knight's shadow. and. AAAAHDHDHDHEJDJJDKDJKDSKKSKDJDJA this book is so fucking good, absolutely obsessed with it. the theme and character work is so good in this book. I'm crying about Brasti and Valiana literally all the time. So I have to ask you. Do you have headcanons or Thoughts about the main squad? Specifically brasti kest falcio valiana and dariana bc I would die for all of them
Hi! I've finally gotten around to this, sorry it took a while...
Honestly, I love the Greatcoats. It's the perfect mix of magic and the Musketeers. The second and third books are my favourites, mostly for ansty Kest but also just because they're great, so enjoy the rest of the series.
I haven't read them in a few years, so I'll try my best not to spoil anything for you:
Brasti is so pure, I love him. In some ways he's more idealistic than Falcio but he's also much more down to earth in the sense that he understands people and and he's trying to save people, anyone and everyone, whereas Falcio is trying to save the whole world
I feel like I would have liked Ethalia more if it wasn't all from Falcio's POV, which may sound odd when he's obviously so in love with her, but if I had to read one more mention of Ethalia's eyes...
Kest is my absolute favourite character. I'm so glad SdC didn't force him into any romantic subplot, I was worried when there was so much between Falcio and Ethalia and I was scared he was going to try and pair everyone off. I know why some people see Kest as in love with Falcio, and Falcio is absolutely the most important person in the world to Kest, but Kest is so goddamn aroace, no I won't take critisism
Darriana and Valiana are my OTP
Kest is mentioned as being middling height but I picture him as tall. Brasti is average height, Falcio is short, not really short but a couple inches shorter than Brasti, which Brasti likes to point out at least once a day. Valiana is also slightly taller than Falcio, but Darri is a tiny ball of fury
Modern AU, Brasti and Kest have so many arguments about Brasti using the wrong words over text - Kest: The word is inconsistent, not incontinence. Brasti: I knew that, it was autocorrect!
Falcio and Darriana are cat people, Brasti and Valiana are dog people. Kest doesn't mind either but has full, serious conversations with pets like they can understand
"Yes, hello, Mittens. I agree, that is a very interesting bobbin of thread but I don't think the Tailor would appreciate you unravelling it across the floor. Oh, you're going to carry on? Well, at your own peril then."
He does this with horses too, though Falcio is also guilty of this
Brasti has the best hearing so he's a really light sleeper. The one thing he does sleep through is his own snoring. Falcio hates him for this because he cannot sleep through Brasti's snoring. Kest can wake at the first hint of danger but he also can and will sleep through anything if he wants to
Brasti is obviously the best archer. Kest is above average because he works out all the science and maths in his head but he's not a natural. Valiana is very good, but never really needs to use the skill, except to challenge Brasti when he's being irritating. Darriana refuses to try because she will not give Brasti the satisfaction of confirming he is better than her
Darriana has a good singing voice but will not let anyone hear her sing for love nor money
Brasti and Valiana have totally theoretical discussions about how they would commit various heists. Darriana often pipes in though her plans usually involve far more killing, but none of them let Falcio over hear them for risk of being scolded like misbehaving school kids
Bonus (from the short stories):
Estevar Valejan Duerisi Borros is wonderful and should have been in the full series because he's basically a sassy swordfighting Poirot and I love him and if he had been there, all the Greatcoats' problems would have been solved half way through book 2
Ok this was a lot more than I meant to write but hey. Thanks again for the ask :)
#ask#the greatcoats series#headcanons#brasti#falcio#valiana#kest#darriana#estevar valejan duerisi borros#sebastien de castell#sorry this took so long
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“Despair” and Dean and Cas
Well well well, winning is my favorite thing.
As usual, this is going to be as long as hell. And fair warning, it’s extremely emotional.
So here it is, the thing that we have been barrelling towards for years, literally years.
Just want to point out this. Also, I will NEVER allow someone to speak negatively about this writing group, EVER.
Team Free Dads starting off the episode is so sweet, so scary. Cas’ calming, Dean’s fear, Sam’s desperation, really just hammering home how much they love Jack, how his pain is pain for them, how losing him is unbearable.
“I can’t stop this. I’m coming apart. I don’t want to hurt you. Don’t let me hurt you.”
Oof. If you’ve ever question whether Jack is a Winchester, this line should shut that shit down for you.
When I tell you I was PISSED when Billie sent Jack to the Empty to EXPLODE????? PAIN.
“Yeah the Empty can’t come to earth, not without being summoned.”
Hello Bobo, clue number 1.
The fact that they only had Jack in limbo for like five seconds was great for my heart health, thank u very much Bobo.
Also Dean wielding Death’s scythe?????? KING?????
Man, Sam and Dean’s growth. The way that they’re able to, idk, actually speak on how they feel without death looming or fear or pain. It’s just a conversation, just an honest conversation of Dean admitting his mistakes, admitting how he felt. Admitting that he fucked up, and Sam forgiving him for it.
CHARLIE AND HER GF CHARLIE AND HER GF CHARLIE AND HER GF
Also...hunters and their “dates.” Two hunters who are happily together, who are happily fighting monsters. Hm. Sounds like a Saileen/Destiel parallel to me boys.
You ever wish Cas would look and the mirror and take the great advice he gives others? Because I do. He’s always tried to be “useful” for Sam and Dean, for Jack, always tried to make sure that he’s useful enough that they keep him around. But what he doesn’t understand, what he’s never understood, is that they need him because of who he is, not because of what he contributes.
Remind y’all of anything?
And here we have Clue Number 2
And then, Sam’s realization. Eileen.
Did I begin full tilt screaming no in my apartment when he said her name? Who’s to say?
How can a lock screen cause me this much pain????
Okay but: Charlie loses Stevie, Sam loses Eileen. Clue Number 3.
I feel like I don’t talk enough about how much Sam loves Eileen. About how obvious it is that they are endgame, about how happy he is when he talks about her. This just feels like a blow to the stomach, but we’ve barely even started.
Sam immediately shifting into protective leader mode? He is the love of my life.
Dean’s simple nod, like it’s a given? Enough to do me in right there.
This is another episode where it’s just so clear that Sam is the leader of the North American hunters. Everyone knows him, everyone is willing to follow him. He’s knowledgeable and kind and fair and just and an incredibly capable fighter. Once again, I don’t believe his work on earth is done.
Can we also please talk about how FRIGHTENING IT WAS for Jack to kill that plant??? I don’t really have much of a comment on it because I was literally just like ?????
With Billie saying that it’s Chuck, the way that people were dusted, very similar to Becky and Amara, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised, especially with Donna getting taken off the board. It’s like I said last week, I don’t buy that he’s taken himself off the board, he’s too invested in the unraveling of this story to take a step back. He’s gotta break them before he can defeat them, that’s the only way.
And here we go, into one of the most painful and surreal things I will ever write about.
Dean’s speech. His guilt, his regret. The shame of not only trapping himself, but the pain, the horror of trapping Cas.
��I just lead us into another trap. All because I, I couldn’t hurt Chuck. Because I was angry and because I just needed something to kill, and because that’s all I know how to do.”
“Dean-”
“It was Chuck all along. We never should have left Sam and Jack, we should be there with them now. Everybody’s gonna die, Cas. Everybody. I can’t stop it.”
His narrative arc. Tied up in a bow.
“She’s gonna get through that door.”
“I know.”
“And she’s gonna kill you and then she’s gonna kill me. I’m sorry.”
Cas smiles.
Cas knows. He knows what’ll get them out of this, and he knows that he would do anything in this Universe for Dean Winchester. The human man he fell for.
“When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him.”
“You what?”
“The price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever.”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I’ve wondered what it could be, what my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer, because the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have.
“But I think I know, I think I know now...happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.”
“What are you talking about, man?”
The most selfless thing Cas does in this, and he does a lot of selfless things, is to tell Dean Winchester how impossibly good he is. To tell him that he is worthy, to tell him that he is adored.
“I know, I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken and you’re daddy’s blunt instrument. And you think that hate and anger, that’s what drives you, that’s who you are. It’s not. And everyone who knows you sees it, and everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raise your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are.
“You’re the most caring man on earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you outta Hell...knowing you has changed me.
“Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you.
“You changed me, Dean.”
“Why does this sound like a goodbye?”
Dean’s greatest fear. His fear of those loving him leaving him. The terror of being alone.
“Because it is.
The head shake. Don’t love me. Don’t love me if it means you’ll leave me, don’t love me, everyone I love leaves me. Don’t leave me. Don’t love me. Don’t leave me.
“Don’t do this, Cas.”
Just like I always thought. One last look at Dean before the Empty takes him.
“Cas-”
“Goodbye Dean.”
And Dean is left, broken on the floor, unable to answer Sam’s calls, unable to do anything. It doesn’t matter to him that Chuck has wiped everyone out, it doesn’t matter to him that Sam and Jack might need him. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, because the thing that mattered still hangs on his lips, still waiting to be said, and now he won’t get another chance to say it.
The fact that I am writing this, even with all my spec, with all my analysis of the writers’ room, of their text, of the way Dabb and co had approached this story, nothing could have ever prepared me for this. Nothing could have prepared me for a three and a half minute, uninterrupted scene where Cas confesses not only that he loves Dean, but that he has always loved him.
I talk a lot about how these writers don’t get the credit they deserve. Unfortunately, from most of this fandom, they never will. We will likely never know the fights with the network they had, the steps backward they had to take, the way they had to beg and fight and claw to get this on the screen. But they did it. They did it for these characters, they did it for this dinosaur of a show, and yeah, they did it for us.
It was not easy, I can promise you, to get this greenlit. They had to fight for this, they likely had to call in favors and make threats and quite literally put their careers on the line (you may scoff at that, but WB is a BIG company, especially in the TV/movie world) for this story. This story of Dean and Cas, the man dragged out of Hell and the angel who fell for him.
I have tons more to say, and will likely have several more posts about this, but I want to leave all my babes who are worried that that was the end for Dean and Cas with some takeaways.
Sam is missing Eileen. Dean is missing Cas. That is no longer a fun subtextual parallel, that is it for them. Their respective endgames are missing, and they will not know their peace until they get them back. Chuck will not win. That’s not the story being told, and right now? He’s winning. He’s broken them, left them with nothing, left them with an empty world and a hole in each of their hearts where their person (or angel) used to be.
Our show is going to end with “contentment.” “Contentment” isn’t from Sam and Dean being filled with grief and hitting the open road. It isn’t Sam getting Eileen back and leaving Dean with no one. “Contentment” is Sam and Eileen, Dean and Cas. Together.
#destiel#spn#supernatural#my meta#destiel meta#spoilers#spn 15x18#i cannot believe this#i cant believe i wrote this#this is real#theyre really canon
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recovered in time
(pt. i)
“From what I can tell, the implant seems to be interrupting the connection between your visual cortex and your emotional center,” Brainy says, eyes narrowed in concentration, two fingers pressed against the incision point at the base of Kara’s neck. “As well as inhibiting your frontal lobe and sending distress signals to the amygdala.”
“What does that mean?” Kara asks.
“It means that... you weren’t feeling like yourself,” Alex says, and Kara nods hesitantly at that.
“So, can you rid of it or not?” Alex asks, fixing Brainy with her most hardened stare.
“I’ve already determined five different ways to extract the device—”
“Great! So, we can—”
“—but none that wouldn’t immediately prove fatal or result in permanent brain damage.”
Eventually, Alex releases a long-suffering, shuddery sigh. “... You could have fucking led with that.”
“I did feel like myself though...” Kara interjects, suspending what was surely about to result in another very unproductive argument. “And I still feel like myself now. It’s just...” She ducks her head, fiddling with the sleeves of her shirt, already frayed from anxious attention. “... I felt so alone? Like, I’d been abandoned, or was suddenly in a world where I’d lost everyone all at once. Again.”
Kara shifts uncomfortably in her seat, now able to feel everyone’s eyes on her, burning holes into her skin. She has long since traded in her super-suit for comfy clothes, and her scarf has been upgraded to a pair of heat vision resistant blackout goggles, but it would take more than 24 measly hours for her to adjust to, well... everything.
“You’re not alone though,” Alex says, giving Kara’s knee a firm squeeze as if in reminder. “You know that, right?”
Kara rubs at her nose, sniffling herself back into some semblance of composure. “Yeah, I know.”
But of course, knowing something hardly ever outstrips the feeling of it, and Kara kinda just wishes that she still had Lena’s scarf on her.
//
“Hey Lena,” Kara calls out softly from the bed. She doesn’t lift her head from her pillow, but still offers a small wave in greeting.
“What gave me away?” Lena asks, and it’s almost playful, which makes everything that much easier.
“Well... Pretty much everything, actually.”
“Ah.”
Then the smell hits her, overwhelming her senses in an unexpected rush of heat and spice. Kara sits up right away, startled. “How did you...” is all she manages to get out, then pushed into her hands is a considerably sized takeout box of potstickers.
“I wanted to surprise you, so I might have created a hermetically sealed lunchbox just to sneak these in,” Lena says, and Kara’s already laughing softly. “The food’s still good though! I literally just slipped them inside right before walking into the building, so...”
“... Thank you,” Kara says. She inclines her head to the spot next to her, and feels the bed sink with Lena’s weight accordingly.
Kara starts eating, but does so with only one hand. The other just fidgets at her thigh, tugging at her sweatpants, lying in wait so impatiently. Then Lena takes the hand and holds it firmly in her own, and finally, it feels like Kara can breathe freely again.
“I never thanked you,” Kara says, “for, you know... everything.”
“You already did,” Lena reminds her, squeezing Kara’s hand.
“I... did?” Kara feels Lena nodding beside her. “Okay... so then, why does it feel like I still have so much left to owe you?”
Lena tries to hold her breath quietly, but Kara hears it; of course, she hears it. “I can’t answer that for you.”
A couple of hours later, when Alex pops into the room for her usual check-in, she stumbles upon an unexpected sight: Lena sitting up on the hospital bed, her legs tucked beneath the sheets as she answers emails on her phone, and Kara fast asleep, curled up around her.
Kara’s still holding Lena’s hand, her face buried in Lena’s shirt where it smells most like her, apparently, besides her hair.
Lena blushes a little, but can’t find it in her to regret her position.
//
“Alex says it’s because I didn’t see your face,” is the first thing Kara says the next time Lena visits. “I pretty much saw everyone else’s, but... never yours. So, I’ve imprinted on you, or something.”
Lena recovers quickly, “Well... what do you think?”
“I don’t know,” Kara admits, running her fingers down the back of her neck, feeling the tender skin still raised in jagged lines. “There’s still so much I feel like I can’t trust right now.”
“But you trust me...”
“Yeah.”
Lena carefully cradles Kara’s hand in both of hers, and it feels like a thank you of sorts. Then Kara draws their joined hands closer and closer, pressing her lips gently to Lena’s knuckles, and sighs in a way that could only ever be an expression of deep gratitude.
//
Kara’s days all seem to unfold the same way, with Alex and Brainy running tests, Lena stopping by once per day for company, and Kara just trying to break up the monotony of it all with podcasts, books on tape, and tossing a tiny bouncy ball around the room to test her reflexes.
For that last one, she has to stop the moment she hears Alex approaching her room, of course, because of all the broken glass and knocked over plants, and such.
Until one day, she overhears a couple of DEO agents discussing some urgent mission—not exactly a rare occurrence, given her super-hearing, but she perks up, ears honing in at the mention of Lex Luthor.
But when they also mention how Lena might be in danger, Kara is already out of bed and flying out the window.
Kara hasn’t flown since donning her blackout goggles, but she remembers enough to travel at a height that would be safe from any threat of collision. And before long, she’s hurtling straight for the source of all the distant commotion now pounding in her ears.
She practically crashes in landing, the earth cracking beneath her bare feet. She whips her head toward where Lena’s heartbeat is fluttering the loudest, then hears low chuckles coming from the same direction.
“You’re all so pathetic and predictable,” Lex crows. “At least try to make it somewhat of a challenge for me. God, it’s all just too easy.”
“Kara, get out of here!” Lena’s voice shouts out to her, muffled and desperate. “It’s a trap!”
But Kara takes a step toward them anyway, and immediately, the entire world seems to scream in protest.
Kara falls to her knees, hands clapping over her ears but to no avail. The excruciating sound is coming from her own head, akin to hot spikes scraping at the inside of her skull. She calls out to Lena, but can’t even make out her own voice over the pain.
She crumples over, helpless, her teeth gritted as she pushes her face into the dirt and shakes uncontrollably. She knows she has to get up; she’s a sitting duck like this. She can’t save Lena like this.
And so, Kara does the one thing that she can do.
She rips the goggles off her face, hurling them somewhere behind her, and jerks her head up.
She sees a blur of colors, then a single hand outstretched towards her, clutching onto something silver and vaguely rectangular.
She fires a burst of heat vision right at that hand, and feels the back of her head explode.
//
“Man... she couldn’t just put them down gently?” mutters a voice that’s not unfamiliar. “She just had to throw the goggles like a goddamn shot-putter or something? These things cost a fortune!”
“All right, that’s enough, Demos,” says Alex, a much more familiar voice. “I’ll worry about the budget, okay? You just get everyone else back to headquarters.”
“’M’sorry,” Kara says, or at least she tries to say. “My bad...” Her eyes still shut tight, she flashes a thumbs up, then lets her arm flop back down to the ground. Alex stops her when she attempts to sit up.
“Hey, not so fast, you jerk,” Alex says, somehow keeping Kara grounded with a single hand pressed against her shoulder. “We’re getting a stretcher for you.”
“I don’t think I need a stretcher.”
“Yeah, well... nobody asked you,” Alex sighs, before grumbling, “God, what’s taking them so long? Ugh, hang on... Hey, can you watch her? I’ll be right back.”
Lena’s there now, and Kara can actually feel herself grinning without even meaning to. “No, don’t... You shouldn’t have come, Kara.” But there’s a smile in Lena’s voice, and Kara’s grin grows wider for it. “I’m serious!”
“Okay, me too.” Kara then winces as a sharp pain gradually surfaces, trickling into reality. “The back of my head is killing me...”
“Yeah, you’re bleeding.”
Kara scoffs. “I don’t bleed; I’m Supergirl.”
“Okay, Supergirl... but somebody got blood all over my shirt, and it sure as hell isn’t me, so...”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Then check for yourself.”
Kara goes rigid, her humor dashed and her brow furrowing heavily.
“... You know I can’t do that.”
Soft fingertips brush down Kara’s face, tucking her hair behind her ear so tenderly. “Listen,” Lena says. “You destroyed Lex’s transmitter, along with most of his right hand, and I think you blew out the implant in your head in the process as well.”
There are thoughts then—the kind that Kara is unwilling to say aloud lest they develop reasons to be true. Thoughts like, what if the explosion damaged parts of her brain permanently? What if it severed that neural link between her eyes and everything else for good? And, how can she risk losing the one person who she believes to be absolutely, 100% real?
Lena draws Kara’s attention with a gentle hand squeeze. “Hey, where’d you go?” she asks softly.
“I’m still here,” Kara says. “Still just right here.”
But Lena seems to understand Kara’s concerns, unvoiced or not, because she leans a bit closer and asks, “Do you trust me...?”
And, yes; yes, she does.
With a deep breath filling out her lungs, Kara slowly opens her eyes. Everything’s a blur at first, just like before. But then little by little, bit by bit, the night sky comes into focus. She stares up at the darkness, counts as many stars as she can to put off the inevitable.
Then her hand is being tugged and squeezed in the gentlest reminder, so she turns her head, blinking her eyes in preparation before looking up to see Lena Luthor smiling down at her.
“Hey,” Kara says.
“Hey yourself,” Lena returns.
Kara nods thoughtfully, then gestures to Lena’s shirt. “Sorry, but I can’t afford dry cleaning,” she says, squinting at the various splashes of red—light but unfortunately prominent against the very white material—and Lena just laughs and laughs.
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Gregory: Tall people are the enemy
Monty: I'm sorry, I can't hear you from all the way up here
Gregory: I could tie your ankles together and you wouldn't notice until it was too late.
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Moon: I wish more conspiracy theorists would really swing for the fences
Moon: "We never went to the moon" is so boring, pedestrian
Moon: "We are actually on the moon right now, but have been programmed to think we're on Earth" endlessly fascinating, shimmering with possibilities.
Freddy: Stop teaching Gregory this
-
Springtrap: Stop playing the victim that's not even a real instrument
-
Foxy: What did you all do today?
Roxy: Fucked up repeatedly
Foxy: Nice, same
-
Monty: Getting brain damage from pissing myself off
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Gregory, poking his head out of a vent: Good evening, parental figure
Bonnie, not looking up from his newspaper: Good morning, problem child
-
Foxy: Today is Monday, I feel like we should do something illegal
Freddy: The law does not apply to us
Foxy: Even better
-
Roxy: Monty, don't talk out loud, you'll lower the IQ of the whole street.
-
Bonnie: Why are there little handprints on the wall?
Freddy, whispering: Why are there little handprints on the wall?
Gregory, whispering back: Because I have small hands
Freddy: Because Gregory has small hands
-
Monty, with his leg stuck in a chair: Now, you may be asking, "Monty, how did you do this to yourself?"
Monty, trying to get unstuck: Well kids, Monty has no fucking clue either
-
Chica: I sort of did something and I need you advice. But I don't want any judgment or criticism
Roxy: And you came to me?
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Freddy: Gregory just said he wanted to "do something nice for me"
Bonnie, sighing: I'll go warn the others
-
Vanessa: So apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually "severe psychological distress"
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William: Embracing my god complex by changing my pronouns from he/him to He/Him
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Jaime: I'm glad my mom caused most of my childhood trauma instead of my dad so my therapy sessions can pass the bechdel test
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Jin, lying on her bed, face down, desperately trying to get up: Come on body, yip yip
-
Henry after the Missing Children Incident: BITCH I'M ABOUT TO JUST [disappears under mysterious circumstances]
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Monty: You'll have to excuse Freddy here, he's gay so he dislikes unnecessary conflict
Monty, cracking his knuckles: But as for me, a bisexual who thrives on that shit―
-
Vanny: I'm an expert on Fazbear Entertainment and its properties
Foxy: Oh yeah? Name 10
Vanny: Bonnie and Freddy
Freddy: that's on you, you set the bar too low
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Chica: I wish I had a super tight-knit group of friends that I fought crime with
Vanny: I wish I had a super tight-knit group of friends that I commit crime with
Freddy: I wish I had a super tight-knit group of friends
Roxy: I wish I had friends
Monty: I wish I could knit
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Roxy: Some guy just whistled at me while walking by and Foxy goes "Don't worry, that was for me"
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Gregory: Freddy, who has never used social media aside from marketing, just logged into twitter, made a single post, and then logged off
[The post]
Freddy: Currently going beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller
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Roxy: Call me an escalator because I let people down
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William: I want to change the world
Henry: For the better?
William:
Henry: Answer me, Will
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Vanessa: It must be so nice to be rich instead of like, having to develop a personality
Fazbear Entertainment: shut up lol
Vanessa: Buy my silence.
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Roxy: you make me so angry so quickly
Roxy: it's remarkable
Freddy: I LITERALLY SAID 6 WORDS
Roxy: Yet here I am, boiling with hate
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Bonnie: My favorite misunderstanding I've had to clear up so far was Chica asking me about the word "fuck". Because apparently someone had told her if she said "fuck" in the Pizzaplex she might be dismantled on the spot. Which I think is the funniest lie that I've ever heard
Monty: damn how brave was she feeling when she asked you that
-
William: What should I get at IHOP
Michael: Killed.
#i havent done one of these in a while aaaaa#i hope there arent any repeats#i have slight memory issues so i apologize ahead of time#shitpost hour again#fnaf security breach#security breach#glamstar au#glamstar fam au#fnaf
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Anon request: Can I request hc’s of Issei, Ushijima, Akaashi, and Suna with a black gf that’s just gifted with da thickness? Not only does she have ass, boobs, and thighs for dayzzz but she got that wap AND gives that double twist gwak gwak thotty throat soul slurp 4000. Sis feels so good, that they would propose to her the minute they nut (regardless if they dated for a week or month).
Characters: timeskip!Matsukawa Issei, Wakatoshi Ushijima, Akaashi Keiji, Suna Rintarou
A/N: Lmao, anon, this request made me laugh, but here it is, and I’m sorry that it took so long, but i hope you like it and i hope it did good enough
🐴 This man thought he was gonna fall over the first time he saw you
🐴 He's always been a chill, smooth guy but you definitely had him off his game the first few times the both of you talked
🐴 But once he finally got to know you, he was back to being his confident self
🐴 When you started dating, he was definitely the luckiest man in the world and no one could give him a run for his money
🐴 Now your body??? He never knew which part to love the most, all of you was thicc (with multiple c's)
🐴 He watches your ass constantly. Can't take his eyes off based on the fact of how much it moves just from you walking
🐴 He'll always find a way to make you bend over, or whenever you do, his eyes are on you, watching your every move
🐴 Loves playing with your boobs and loves holding them in his hands, with barely fit in the palm of his hand
🐴 Will lay on top of you and lay his face on your chest, and this is one of his favorite ways to tease you, mouthing over the nipple through the fabric while his hand rubs over the other one
🐴 You had already floored him by how amazing you looked, but the first time you gave him head? Man thought he was in another world
🐴 He tried to warn you saying that he was massive, but you just brushed him off, taking all of him into your mouth, and he lets out a guttural moan at the sight
🐴 He busts so fast, your tongue swirling all around his length as you bop your head faster and faster. He feels his orgasm run through his body, and he almost passes out from how hard he cums
🐴 And he thought he came fast when you were sucking him off? Nothing compares to when he has sex with you
🐴 He thought you felt amazing around his fingers, so tight and hot, and you were already soaking the sheets with your slick
🐴 But when he slides into you, he almost busts before he even bottoms out, and he has to physically refrain himself from cumming so fast
🐴 He bucks into you, watching where your bodies are connected and he can't help but groan at how much of your slick is on his dick
🐴 Every thrust inside of you seems to trigger another wave of wetness until there's no more resistance and the squelching sounds are the loudest noise in the room
🐴 He cums way too fast than he normally has, his body going rigid at the same time it goes limp, falling on top of you as he shoots his seed inside of you
🐴 "Holy fuck," he slurs, his chest heaving and his heart feeling like it's going to beat out of his chest
🐴 "Good, huh?" you tease, and he nods eagerly
🐴 "I'm fucking marrying you."
🌾 He couldn't really tell at the game because of the clothes you were wearing at the time, but then he saw you in some regular clothes when he ran into you while out with Tendou, and he physically froze in the hallway
🌾 Tendou was the main reason why you both finally got together, introducing the two of you after one of their games
🌾 You walked up to them, and he couldn't even form a coherent sentence to keep the conversation going, focusing on how amazing your body was
🌾 He couldn't help but run his eyes down your figure, your words just muffled as he tries to focus his attention elsewhere, but fails horribly
🌾 He's usually oblivious to the many girls that are into him or think he's very attractive, but the only thing he could think about was you, and when you started dating, you surprised him even more
🌾 The first time he saw you in lingerie, he really thought he felt a noise bleed coming
🌾 His hands ran over your body as he found himself at a loss for words, the white a beautiful contrast to your brown skin, and he can't get over the fact at how plush your thighs are, how round your ass is, not even close to fitting in his huge hands
🌾 You sink down to your knees, and he's broken out of his trance to quickly shove his pants off his legs
🌾 You give him a few strokes, and he moves to put his hand on your head, but once you put your mouth on him, he can't even move
🌾 His hands fall beside him on the bed, as his head falls back on his neck. And he usually doesn't make many noises, but he can't help as they slip out, getting as you suck him with more fervor
🌾 He feels spineless when he cums, a loud groan filling the room as his thighs flex, his orgasm rippling through his body, making his nerve endings stand on end
🌾 And he thought your head game was good? Your pussy was even better
🌾 He had you on your back, and his eyes widen when he pulls down your thong, a huge strand of your slick connecting to the fabric
🌾 When he slides into you, he lets out the loudest moan he's ever let out, trying to control himself so he doesn't cum right then and there
🌾 His sounds send another gush of wetness covering his dick, shiny with your juices, and he pumps into you with even more enthusiasm
🌾 You even better than amazing, you feel heavenly, and he doesn't even know what to do with himself, the only thing on his mind is how wet you are and how there's nothing holding him back from thrusting inside of you
🌾 His sounds are just louder than the noises of him pumping in and out of you, and he's never been this loud before but can't help it
🌾 After a few hard thrusts, he's cumming hard and he falls over on top of you, having to crash his hands into the mattress so that he doesn't crush you
🌾 His face is buried in your neck, his hot breath fanning your neck as he tries to calm his heartbeat
🌾 "Are you okay?" you chuckle, rubbing his head
🌾 "Please marry me."
🪶 He thought you were the prettiest person he's ever seen; he couldn't even speak to you without stuttering over his words
🪶 When he first met you, he was a little bit intimidated by you
🪶 But when you started dating, he was over the moon
🪶 He practically worshipped your body, there was so much of you that he didn't know what to do with himself
🪶 You wore thigh highs one time and this man short-circuited, his brain instantly zeroing in the fat spilling over the fabric
🪶 In an instant, he had you on top of him, his face between your legs
🪶 "Shit," he moans when he sees how soaked you are, your folds inches from his face, and he dives in eating you out like it's his last day on Earth
🪶 Your juices soak his face as your huge thighs squeeze around his head, and if this is how he goes out, there's no way in hell he's complaining
🪶 He pulls you closer to his face by your hips, and you're a little worried that you might suffocate him, but he doesn't care, his hands run over your ass before gripping at the thigh highs
🪶 His face is dripping when you cum and he's rock hard in his shorts as wipes his face with his fingers, groaning at your taste
🪶 You go to return the favor, sliding down his body, and he bucks his hips up when you grind against him
🪶 He almost cums the moment you start sucking him off, starting at his angry red tip before pulling all of him into your mouth
🪶 His grip on the couch nearly rips the material as you deepthroat him, and he can't help but watch you as his moans get louder
🪶 He's never had head this good, and he already feels himself on the brink of snapping
🪶 When he cums a second later, his back is arching off the couch as he shudders, his whole body taut
🪶 His head is still running from his high, but he pushes you off of him and now he's on top of you
🪶 When slips inside of you, he feels his orgasm seconds from approaching, and he moans as he tries to wait for you
🪶 When you give him the go-ahead, he's moving, grabbing your legs and throwing them over his shoulders as he fucks you into the couch
🪶 He watches the meat of your thighs jiggle every time your bodies meet, and he digs his fingers into your skin as he tries to hold back for you
🪶 He looks down to see that you're making a wet mess on him, your thighs, the couch, and he can't hold back any longer along with the fact that he's edging himself
🪶 He curls over you when he cums, shouting at how fast and hard his orgasm washes through him, his body shaking
🪶 When he finally gets you to cum, he's falling on top of you. "When are we getting married?"
🦊 There was just so much of you that he couldn't keep his hands off of you, they never literally never left your body whenever you were together
🦊 This man thought that your body was an added bonus to dating you
🦊 He always had you in his lap, his hands moving from your ass to your thighs in a fluid motion
🦊 He always uses your boobs as a pillow, always falling asleep on your chest
🦊 Whenever you're in the car together, his hands are always rubbing your thigh giving it the occasional squeeze
🦊 The first time you give him head is when you're driving around, just killing time, and he pulls into a secluded area, and you're already on him before he even turns the car off
🦊 "Shit, baby, damn," he sighs as he puts his hand on your head, and you lick at the tip before sinking your mouth down on him
🦊 He can't even think about bucking his hips up into your mouth, only focusing on the fact at how amazing your mouth feels around him
🦊 His hand digs into the console as you bop your head faster, the grip on your hair tightening, and when you go deeper, he throws his head back
🦊 It literally felt like you were sucking the soul out of him lmao
🦊 As soon as he cums, he's pulling you into the backseat, and he quickly takes your clothes off
🦊 He just stared at you in awe, his hands running over every part of your body, not even believing that you're his
🦊 He moves his hand down, his knuckles toying at your folds and when he looks down, he scoffs at the fact that you're dripping
🦊 When he fingers you, you're slick is dripping down to his wrist, and it makes him so hard that he makes quick work of lining up to your entrance
🦊 He moans loudly when you slide down on him, your wetness soaking his dick, his balls, and when you're ready, he wastes so time thrusting up into you
🦊 Your boobs hit him in the face with every cant of his hips, and he pulls at one nipple as his hands dig into your hips
🦊 He licks in between them, tasting the saltiness of your sweat before coating them in his saliva
🦊 When he's satisfied, he buries his face in your chest as he works on pulling you down onto him
🦊 He doesn't think he's ever cum this fast, his orgasm hitting him out of nowhere, and he sees stars as he curls forward, holding you so that you don't fall
🦊 He leans back against the seat, pulling you with him, resting his head on his chest as he tries to bring his heart rate back down
🦊 "We're getting fucking married."
#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu!! headcanons#hq headcanons#hq!! headcanons#matsukawa issei x black!reader#wakatoshi ushijima x black!reader#akaashi keiji x black!reader#suna rintarou x black!reader#matsukawa issei#wakatoshi ushijima#akaashi keiji#suna rintarou#matsukawa smut#ushijima smut#akaashi smut#suna smut#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#hq#hq!!#haikyuu smut#haikyuu!! smut#hq smut#hq!! smut
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Georgie Weasley HCS!
This is again, probably the first of many headcanons parts because the twins own mu ass and that’s perfectly fine with me.
Also please watch the video it makes me cry with happy tears-
Warnings: stupidly adorable men named George Fabian Weasley, diabetic level fluff, diet angst, me cussing oops
Let’s be clear: I love this man more than life itself, just because I’m a Fred girl doesn’t mean I don’t simp unhealthily hard for this man ok now I’m done let’s get into it
God, he’s such a soft boy
Like he was the kid growing up that hated seeing lil bugs being stepped on and would make it a priority to save them
“No, even bugs are living things too!” And would cradle them and set them back in the yard, whispering words of encouragement
He would frequently cry to Molly about how worried he was about if they got back to their families or not
At times like these, she was worried for her beautiful son but held him all the same
It’s the way George Weasley loves reading for me
This boy is a bookworm. Period.
He’s read LOTR more times than he’s liked to admit, and he’s read Romeo and Juliet enough times that when the Baz Luhrman movie came out he quite possibly saw it 5 times in a row
Like a movie screening a day. This kid-
That week he screams “part fools you know not what you do” to an unholy extent and Fred almost shanks him like 12 times
He also develops a crush on Claire Danes but that is besides the point
True story anyway-
He is a fantastic cook
No, like for real
If he knows Molly is busy that morning at home and he knows the Burrow is stocked enough with ingredients he can manipulate-
He’s making everyone breakfast
Like regular omelettes? Uh, Chile anyways have you HAD a George Weasley omelette
He hates following recipes too
Swears it “kills his artistic tendencies” but I really think it’s because he stresses over measurements
But that’s what Fred is for :)
His favorite muggle game is Scrabble
He whips literally everyone’s ass at it and has a copy of the Scrabble dictionary on him
“George, what the fuck, ‘aal’ isn’t a real word-“
“WELL LET’s CONSULT THE DICTIONARY HMM-“
He also just starts to make up random words
No one really argues this
So is it cheating?
Nah he just calls it ingenuity sis
Again, this is pretty canon but he has a lot of pent up anger issues
Externally, he keeps his cool light years better than Fred ever will, but internally, he just bottles it all
This is of course why George is considered to be the better beater of the two-
He waits until Quidditch to release all of his anger and stress and pain
Our angel feels resentful of Fred sometimes
He loves him more than anyone on thsi earth, 100%, but Fred doesn’t really understand how much people compare them both and how many people don’t see George as his own person
This leads to being a hyper vigilant Georgie, going above and beyond to craft the best plans
The best jokes
Just wanting to be the best at something
And Fred is there to hype him up constantly along the way, but never really will understand how hard it is for George to cope with his inferiority complex
George gets a bit clingy to his loved ones, afraid they’ll pull away when they realize he’s not Fred
He just needs a bit of reassurance and extra loving :) he deserves every bit of it
George Fabian is a crier
He always has been ever since he was little which led to a very confused Freddie (he’s not a big externally emotional human, in terms of expression like crying)
George is a big empath
He feels virtually everything that his loved ones feel which fills him with a lot of duty to protect
At all costs
George is basically young Arthur, I’m not gonna lie
He’d never say it but George just wants a daughter. Or 10.
To spoil and love and hold
He wants a child of his own to see run around and be crazy with
But also to read to every night and make them feel protected and respected and loved
He wants to be what his dad was and is to him you know?
Also um...babes is kinky
If asked if he’s a, t, or thighs?
Thighs. Every time.
This man is addicted to hips like if you’re dancing at a party and moving your hips?
Good lord he’s such a goner
He’s also packing but yknow
He’s super romantic
Probably the most romantic of any of the Weasley siblings
He’s sucker for old school romanticism and is the most chivalrous little angel
He also probably has a stash of pick up lines and romantic sentences in French or Spanish in his back pocket
Please god I love this man
He has DEFINITELY called you the following:
Darling, my love, my soul, my glorious one, it GOES ON THE MORE ILLUSTRIOUS THE BETTER
Please save me from myself writing this I’m a fred girl but god help me I would die for George Fabian Weasley
His favorite scent is of mornings
Like when you wake up early and you smell dew and grass and sunlight
That’s his favorite scent in the entire world
His favorite dessert is Canary Creams - honestly, he don’t even care about the “side effects” they just taste too damn good
You think I’m joking, Fred legitimately had to take them away from him during testing
“Georgie, stop oh my god we only have so many-“
“P L E A S E I’ll make more later they’re so yummy”
“STOP IT IM SERIOUS”
Basically our angel
And we love him. Period.
#george weasley imagine#george weasley headcanon#george weasley#harry potter imagine#harry potter headcanon#the weasley twins#the weasleys
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Wally West with an Earth Bending S/O
emmacata said: Could you write some hcs for dating Wally West (YJ) as "earthbender-like powered meta" please?
Anonymous said: Hello. I hope you are doing well. I don’t know if you are accepting requests right now (I’m also slow so please do tell me if my dumb self missed it in your bio or something). I wanted to request something for Wally (dude I miss him. Writers bring him back!!). Do you have a favorite from YJ? Enjoy your day/night!
You met the Young Justice team at Mount Justice
You had sensed something wrong with the Mountain using your powers
So, one day you used your Earth Bending to create a path into their HQ
When you came inside
It was shocking
And you wanted to go inside and check the place out
But your gut told you to run and pretend this never happened
You immediately pulled your hood up and hid your face in case security cams were on
And you ran out
Just as you made it out of the passage way
You were about to close it but someone super sped right past you
You saw his face and you knew he saw yours
And even though you immediately tried to forget what he looked like
His face was flashing before your eyelids
Right when he was about to grab you, you shifted the ground to sink his feet into the sand
And taking off as fast as you could
When you got home you immediately hid underneath your covers
Trying to calm your racing heart
You didn’t know who that boy was
All you knew was that he had super powers and was a speedster
And that you were at a place you weren’t supposed to
You wondered whether he was a super hero
But there was also a chance he was a villain
In which case, he saw your face, he knows you saw their HQ and could possibly track you back to your house and kill you
Which is honestly kind of scary
So, you just try and lay low for the next few days
Not going to school and pretending to be sick
And so far, it seems like nothing is going to happen
So, you feel kind of relieved
Until one day you go out for pizza with your family
And lo and behold there is the exact same boy you saw at Mount Justice
Red hair and green eyes
Along with a few others
In the back of your head, you’re like just remain unnoticed
But just as you’re about to turn your head
He makes eye contact with you
And your heart drops
You look away anyway and pretend that you didn’t see him
But oh ho ho
He definitely saw you
And you’re like sinking in your seat tryna pretend you’re not here
And something in you expects him to just pick you up out of your seat while threatening you with a gun
But he just comes up to your table
“Hey, babe!”
Totally unexpected
Downright lunacy if you have ever seen it
“(Y/N) who is this?”
“Babe, I’m kinda offended you haven’t told your parents about your boyfriend.”
“(Y/N) (L/N), you have a boyfriend?”
And you’re just in shock
Like wtf is happening?
And you’re going to open your mouth and say he’s just a crazy
But before you can he speaks again
“Nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. (L/N), I’m (Y/N)’s boyfriend.”
And you finally just get your voice back
“No, he isn’t! I’ve never met him in my entire life!”
“Well that obviously isn’t true, babe.”
And you’re just like sweating
Your parents are honestly concerned like “Everything okay?”
And this red-headed kid over there is just having a shit eating grin
You’ve just about had enough
So, you wipe the grin off his face and grab his ear
Pulling him out of the pizza place
Because you’re sure he can only super speed so your powers can put him in his place
Unless he’s gotten reinforcements
But something about him tells you that he hasn’t really thought this through
“What the hell was that?!”
His face turns dark and then out steps a few other teenagers
You assume must be on his side
Feeling a little threatened, you raise your hands to fight
“Who are you?”
“Shouldn’t I be the one asking that?”
“Well since you already snuck into our base, I would assume that you already know.”
“Well, sorry to disappoint but I really don’t.”
“We don’t particularly believe you.”
You scoffed
“Well, if you’re gonna kill me anyway, what difference does it make?”
And that kinda shocks him for a second
“Woah, kill you? We’re not gonna kill you, we’re the good guys.”
“Eh?”
And now all of you are confused
Fast forward to them explaining everything
You tell them that you didn’t mean to trespass
And about your powers
So, everything is good and well you think they’re gonna let you go
Just as you’re about to leave, Robin stops you
“We can’t just let her go; she knows the location of our HQ.”
“Look, birdboy, I have a curfew. My parents probably think I’m making out with said “boyfriend” in an alley somewhere.”
Wally blushes but still makes a flirtatious comment about doing what your parents say
“And I would like to save myself the experience of getting ‘the talk’ on the car ride back home. So, I bid you adieu.”
And walk away like a boss
You manage to convince your parents that you’re not dating him
You don’t know why you ever thought that you could get away with it
Because the next day in school
Guess who’s sitting in the desk beside yours
Yep, Wally Fucking West
“You’ve resorted to stalking me now?”
“I’m trying to make sure you don’t kiss and tell, babe.”
Ever met a headache in person?
That was exactly how you’d describe Wally
But he’s kind of lovable?
Which is honestly more irritating
But between Wally’s flirting and infuriating behaviour
You start to see a genuine and kind side to him
The way he always gives you a hand when you’re getting on the bus when it stops far away from the pavement
The way he always opens the doors for you
The way he stays back in school so he can walk you home
Sure, he could’ve been doing it to keep an eye on you
But you believed that he didn’t
You told yourself that one day if Wally sincerely asked you out
Then you would say yes
And you kinda just waited like a fool for him to genuinely ask instead of just implying it while flirting
But finally, you realized that you would do the job
Cuz clearly wally is also a coward
So, you technically ask him out first
Even though he tells everybody that he made the first move
Still flirts with you
Even though you’re dating
You’re not an official member of the group
But you still help out when you can
Worrying when Wally is on a mission
Bear hugs when he gets back because you were worried as hell
His holding you tight and telling you that he isn’t going anywhere
Robin third wheeling and suddenly feeling single af
Wally likes randomly grabbing you in his hands and running to wherever
Giving him leg massages cuz he’s sore
Him repaying the favour
He’s extremely warm
So, when you cuddle, you turn the AC way up and then just melt in his arms
Damn I’m getting sleepy writing this
He always steals your food
Showing up to your parents’ house with you and introducing himself to your parents
Again
Your parents just being like
“We knew it.”
Sneaking into your bedroom in the middle of the night after a mission because he just wants to hold you
Sneaking out of your bedroom in the morning because your parents would literally kill you
Inviting you over to Mount Justice sometimes
The others don’t like it but oh well you can bend through earth so shut up
You like to walk barefoot most of the times
So, Wally always brings you to the beach
Him eventually retiring from being Kid Flash so you could live peaceful lives together
NOT dying on the mission in Antarctica
Actually, living a long and happy life with him
Forever Taglist: @simonsbluee
DC Taglist: @emmacata
#Wally West#wally west imagine#wally west headcanon#wally west x reader#Kid Flash#kid flash headcanon#kid flash x reader#kid flash x you#Young Justice#young justice oneshot#young justice headcanons#young justice imagine#young justice x reader#Headcanon#dc x reader#dc x y/n#earth bending
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