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noxcheshire · 17 days

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Back at it again with my Danny is mom coded au’s, but this time it’s because of Clockwork that he suddenly has a whole ass teenage kid.

Clockwork had been bored or maybe he was playing a game against an opponent, or even lost a bet, whatever it was, he stepped in right as Jason was searching for his biological mother.

The DNA that would have registered itself as one Sheila Haywood, confirming Jason’s mother, glitched a terrible green across the screens of the batcomputer.

In those few moments of chaos Jason’s heart beat rapidly as he tried to figure out why the computer wasn’t working, wondering if his only chance to find his mom — his blood mom — would never find success.

Then as suddenly as things went wrong the DNA settled and pinged.

Jason watched, his chest tight, as one Danny C. Works, formerly Danny Fenton appeared onto the big screen.

Danny looked a lot like Jason, short cut black hair more straight than the subtle curls of Jason’s own; deep blue eyes, tired in a way that spoke of long days and nights, but with a warm happiness that made the familiar smile — the one Jason would see on himself every time he looked into the mirror — even more striking.

Jason didn’t linger too long on the male identifying gender, nor the fact his mom leaned more towards a masculine name or clothing.

There were plenty of male to female, and female to male leaning individuals that lived in Crime Alley. He had seen it enough to not even bat an eye at it, even now. After all, in Gotham you minded your business least you find yourself in business you can’t leave.

On a different monitor information of Danny C. Works piled for Jason to quickly browse through.

Danny was a senior engineer, no intimate relationships, and with no close connections to family outside of the tentative calls from Jasmine Fenton.

Danny was estranged from Jack and Madeline Fenton, a falling out that had occurred just a little before Danny’s high school graduation. If Jason calculated it correctly that would have been — around the season Jason himself would have been born.

Okay, so no grandparents then but I might have a maybe aunt. Jason scrolled further and stilled.

Twin toddlers: Dante and Danielle Works.

Jason had baby siblings.

He doesn’t let the sting of younger siblings consume him, doesn’t allow the whispering thoughts of why he had been given up when his younger siblings had been kept and so very obviously loved.

Jason took deep breathes, he didn’t have time to linger here. He had a family to get to, and a family he would get to.

It took almost all night to reach, the starlight night sky slowly and surely fading into cloudy wine as the sun rose, but Jason made it.

And when the door opened to his hesitant but firm knock, Jason was unable to speak. His mom — dad, maybe? Did they want to be mom or dad? — stood in the doorway, brows furrowed in confusion.

It was when Danny spoke his vigilante name did Jason only just realize that he was still dressed to the nine’s in his Robin costume.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #danny phantom #danny fenton #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc prompt #jason todd #Danny is mom to two de aged terrors #and will now be a mom to his newest terror #Dan and Ellie de aged due to circumstances when Danny left Amity Park #Dan and Ellie didn’t form until recently from their cores #he had run away with the two and didnt have any connections to other family or friends until Jazz finally tracked him down #but he threatened to go no contact again should she try and push him to return to Amity and speak to their parents #Jazz understands and doesn’t want to lose her baby brother again #clockwork meddled for whatever reason and now Danny is Jason’s mom au #Danny is going to mother that child so hard #yes he is an adult #Jason WILL be loved >:(#Jason is also going to be the best big brother #Dan and Ellie love their mom and big brother #they will bite #Jason thinks Danny is ftm #Danny is biologically male but is more built like Maddie #misunderstandings of gender #and further misunderstandings on how Jason and his two siblings were conceived #Vlad Masters being a theatrical creep #Jason will fist fight old men #he will also fist fight his grandparents

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bixels · 1 month

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Cozy Glow is such an interesting litmus test for die-hard bronies. I was checking r/mlp to prep a post and there’s a discussion post about how she deserved what she got and. How do I tell bronies that children should not be tried as adults. How do I tell bronies that psychopaths and sociopaths deserve human rights and treatment and support. How do I tell bronies that cruel and unusual punishments are bad. How do I tell bronies that the death penalty is wrong. How do I tell bronies that a ruling body should not have absolute say over putting someone to death, least of all a 6-year-old child.

These are all my recent google searches.

#delete later #personal #these are all arguments I saw of why cozy glow deserved it btw #“if she was human she’d be tried as an adult for her felonies idc if she’s a child’ ok but she shouldn’t #“clearly she’s a psychopath so it makes sense she’s evil’ do you even hear yourself #reminder that they redeemed the racist politician trying to keep schools racial segregated because he believed in pony superiority #and not the 6 year old child villain #I don’t even really care about cozy glow she’s not gonna be in the AU but people are so fucking weird about her #“some people are just born evil and can’t be changed’ < actual arguement in the thread. do you hear yourself

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big-greer · 4 months

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a BIG part of the lore of Dungeon Meshi is how ageism is bad. About how the long lived races treat the young lived races like children and thus infantilize them and do not show them the respect and understanding they deserve simply because of their looks or short life spans. Whether its because to them they look like children in their eyes (like half foots and gnomes) or because the adult ages of the younger lived races are still in the child ages for the longer lived ones and so they get treated/viewed as children (we see otta receive comments about getting with minors when in reality she dated adult half foot women. so we already see this view towards things like this are a thing in the lore) We see this with chilchuck, senshi, and marcille where the two later view chilchuck as a child and treat him like one even though he is a full grown man who drinks (and is supposed to have grey hairs) all because he looks young and in the newest episode its revealed he is 29 which is still young children to the two of them. We see how perspectives that characters are children because of their age being a childs age for a different race as opposed to their race or because they look like children is a completely infantilizing and disrespectful behavior that causes so many problems in the long run. a theme that is completely flying over the average tumblr users head.

ive seen people get furious at other people because they sexualize chilchuck and even marcille

“oh they look like kids so dont do that you freak”

you absolute fool you missed a major theme of the fucking story. But because they look young suddenly they are children? have you paid no attention to the story? did you just ignore how the ageisim and weird mindset about ages like that causes so many issues that could easily have been avoided. and as for the age one i see people getting furious at others for being into and sexualizing izutsumi even though she is a year past adult in tall man years, but because she isnt in the adult age range in real life (wild your applying real life society standards to a fictional medieval fantasy world). even though even in lore she would be well an adult able to get married and everything tumblr really does have the media literacy of a toddler.

#dungeon meshi #idiots your missing a major theme in the story oh my god #its litterally just marcille saying chilchuck is a kid because to elves 29 is considered a child #even though he isnt an elf and is a half foot and so the mans dam near middle aged #but because 29 is a child in elf years she treats him like a child.#same thing with izutsumi #16 years is adult for tallmen and since she is 17 she is an adult #but because that isnt adult in real life human years (wild your applying real life shit to a fantasy world but whatever)#people get in a frenzied about people thinking she is attractive #like congrats your litterally just doing the exact same thing as the elves in the story do #like you have just completely ignored the lesson #chilchuck #marcille #senshi #izutsumi

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lilith-91 · 3 months

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Finally someone said it

Leave Katara alone we are so tired

#avatar the last airbender #atla #aang #katara #kataang #anti zutaras #she's a child #not an adult

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yardsards · 10 months

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do people who have listened to taz balance but not graduation Know that it was HEAVILY IMPLIED that lup and barry eventually adopted a lil sorcerer child who got disowned by his family for his natural necromancy magic, and they taught him how to use his powers for good and were overall great parents that he looks back on fondly

(and said child grew up to be a dimension-hopping lich, caretaker of the dead, and very sweet adoptive father of a major npc)

#eliot posts #taz #the adventure zone #taz balance #taz graduation #lup taaco #barry bluejeans #blupjeans #like they never specifically say ''my parents are barry and lup'' so it's left up to interpretation but #he says he came from another world other than nua (nua is the name of the grad world like faerun is the balance world)#he says both his parents were highly skilled necromancers that ''travelled'' a lot because of their work #he says that inter-planar travel runs in the family #and he likes to bake #also travis apparently said on a livestrean that he got something carved by magnus for his daughter #it's a fun little easter egg for balance enjoyers but kept vague enough where it's like. you don't have to know about balance to enjoy it #anyway tho it's adorable cuz he talks about how much of a positive impact his parents made on him #and how he wanted to emulate them when raising his own daughter #and he's a good dad and his daughter loves him (also she is an absolute delight i love her #and like the only older adult to look at our college-aged protagonists and be like #''yeah it's messed up that you have to deal with all of this you're so young you're the same age as my child i will help however i can''#like balance easter egg aside gordy is one of my fav graduation npcs (behind his daughter rainer who is my fav)

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lovesickeros · 6 months

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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 3 ]

{☆} characters neuvillette, wriothesley, furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 1.9k {☆} previous [ 1 ] [ 2 ]

Wriothesley was not a man of superstition. He did not kneel at the altars until his knees bled, he did not pray until his voice gave out– he did not, contrary to popular belief, suffer divine punishment for his apparent lack of respect.

After all, what Divine would look so deep beneath the waves just for a glimpse of the sinners that inhabit it?

Not them, evidently.

He hadn't slept in the past four days, though. There was a heavy air of something where ever he walked– it followed him like a thick fog, lingering and choking him until it dragged him to his knees like a chain. His thoughts inevitably linger on the striking, extravagant letter so conveniently adorning his desk at the fortress– the broken wax seal, the letter tucked into his pocket.

He'd recognize the seal of the Iudex any day. Wasn't often he spoke to him– but the shaky, distorted words hastily etched into the paper made him pause. Neuvillette always had a steady hand– elegant, flowing script that him of flowing water.

It had kept him up for days.

The implications were..haunting. He'd poured over the letter for hours, illuminated only by faint light of his desk lamp. Yet no matter how many times he tries to see what must be hidden beneath the ink, the paper itself even, he finds nothing but the shaky script of a request that sends a bolt of pure frost through his veins.

He noticed, of course, the odd goings on of Fontaine. He'd heard vague whispers of the Divine's hunt for the imposter– he'd heard, too, of the ceaseless rain pelting Fontaine until even he wondered if the nation would finally sink beneath the waves.

It didn't, though. And that only made it all the more odd. Days of constant rain, just for it to stop suddenly..he tugged his coat tighter around him, throwing up the hood of the cloak clasped even tighter over it with a grunt as he leaned around the corner of the alleyway.

He didn't believe in superstition, but this was too hard to ignore as a simple weather anomaly.

Maybe that was why he ignored his gut– he knew that this was probably a trap, at the very least it was suspicious. But damn it, he couldn't ignore the instinct to follow the only lead he had.

His boots clicked against the rain stricken streets as he stalked through the shadows, mindful of the clinking of machine patrols just a few streets away. Yet every step felt heavier then the last as he took a long, good look at the Palais Mermonia. He almost considered bringing out his gauntlets, but he thought better of it– if it came down to it, he needed information. And he would need whoever was waiting for him alive for that– the dead don't speak and all that.

The letter's directions led him in a..rather roundabout entrance to a secluded room, evidently, as he lifted his hand and quietly knocked against the door. Two rapid knocks, pause, another knock, pause, four knocks. It doesn't take long until he hears the latch of the door unlock.

The leather of his gloves creaks as he clenches his fists, adjusting his stance. He's ready for a fight, if he must, but as the door quietly slides open he feel the weight on his shoulders relax slightly– the familiar, sharp features of Neuvillette meets him. He almost reflexively smiles at the way his pupils turn into thin slits, a momentary surprise that he quickly hides well behind a cough and the creak of the door as he pulls it open fully.

"Wriothesley. I see my letter has found you well. Please, come in." Polite as ever, Neuvillette steps aside to let him in, but he can see the exhaustion lining his features– the bags under his eyes aren't as well hidden as he thinks, at least to him. "Bit odd to be inviting me all the way out here in the middle of the night, don't you think?"

His tone is smooth as he steps into the room, brushing down his hood and glancing at Neuvillette over his shoulder, watching as he shuts and locks the door behind him.

"I apologize for the..less then ideal circumstances, but I'm certain you will understand when you see for yourself." He wants to retort, but the Iudex beats him to it, vaguely motioning to the room behind him. An invitation– but he wonders if it's worth taking.

His gut says no, but he's feeling a little risky today, he supposes.

He turns back slowly, barely able to make out the two figures he'd missed on the first glance on the other side of the room– though it's hard to mistake the flourish of the Hydro Archon, even in the dark. It's the other figure that makes the breath hitch in his throat, though.

Or maybe, more accurately, it freezes. So does his blood, his whole body even, locked in stasis for a long, tense moment– he can't see them clearly, but his instincts are going haywire. He can feel his vision almost rattle where it rests against his left shoulder, cold leaking through the layers of clothes and into his skin until he has to fight to suppress a shiver.

He'd always fancied himself the hunter– he was the one who dealt with unsavory folks, in the end. But he felt like a rabbit pinned beneath the crosshairs of a gun this time. He could almost feel the teeth of the bear trap snapping shut around him, crushing bone and flesh beneath cold metal.

For a long moment he thinks he feels fear.

And with a sharp click and a burst of light, it's gone and he takes a raspy, choked breath as he blinks away the blurriness in his vision, taking in the room illuminated by the lamp.

He's not sure what he sees is better, though.

Because his body knows that their Divinity is as real as the blood running through his veins.

So why do they remind him so much of himself? Why does he see the look of the boy who died in a pool of blood not his own in them?

It is a sick, cruel kind of familiar.

Wriothesley didn't believe in superstition– but that was born of the unknown. He knew, now. He could reach out and touch the truth with his own two hands.

The throne of the world was a lie.

The thing sitting on it bled red. And if it bled, it could die.

He clenched his fists tighter– and released, letting his shoulders slump with a huff and a half hearted chuckle. "I wasn't expecting you to be in possession of a wanted criminal when you sent me that letter." He could see the gears whirring in their heads, the subtle dampness in the air reminding him just how delicate a situation it truly was.

He wasn't particularly inclined to getting blasted by a jet of water today.

"Relax, I'm not going to spill to anyone else. Seriously– don't get my jacket wet. It's expensive and a nightmare to dry." His lips quirk into a half smile, but it twists into something almost genuine at the laugh covered up by a cough he hears from the Divine. Bingo.

"It's fine, Neuvillette. Let him go." Their voice is like honey dripping from their lips, and he has to close his jaw with his hand before they can see the way it dropped in his surprise. "Of course, most Divine. My apologies." He relaxes at the sharp click of his heels as he joins them on the bed, his posture far more relaxed then he's ever seen. The Hydro Archon, much to his confusion and amusement, is far too invested in playing with their hair to pay much attention to him now that things have calmed, evidently.

Huh.

They seemed pretty cozy about it, he noted. He guesses they three of them had some time to get acquainted.

"So..who's going to explain what the hell is going on?" He probed, crossing his arms over his chest and watching the three carefully– they all looked tired, but even through the exhaustion neither seemed inclined to stray too far from the Divine. "And what exactly your plan is? You can't keep hiding them here forever. Someone will sniff them out sooner or later."

"We are aware," Neuvillette interjects, lips pursed into a thin line and his thin brows furrowed. "But as I'm sure you've noticed, the hunt for the..forgive me, most Divine, but the hunt for the alleged imposter is still at it's peak."

He grumbles in acknowledgment, hanging up his cloak by the door and sliding out of his heavy coat, resting it over the back of a nearby chair. "Hm. Suppose that's why the patrols are so common now a days."

"I'm afraid so. As you can imagine, we cannot simply ask them to..stop the search. It would draw unwanted attention and suspicion. The Divine would be found immediately if we tried to bring them out of the city at the moment." Neuvillette added, looking proper and elegant, despite the circumstances– even in the face of the Divine and the Archon turning on him and tugging his hair into intricate braids. "So I hope you understand that it was a great risk to send you that letter."

He rubs his chin, huffing in amusement– a solid plan, maybe, but his power didn't extend too far out of the Fortress. He had his connections, sure, but what use were they when he had to get the, uh, "imposter" out of Fontaine? Smuggling them out wouldn't be easy, and then there's the point of where to take them they'd have to contend with.

"Yeah, yeah– I get it. But it's not like I can just smuggle them out or keep them in the fortress. Even if we got them out of the city, we'd have to find somewhere to bunker down, and if someone spots any of us lingering there.." Archons, what a mess he'd gotten himself into. He was really looking forward to the next time he could kick his feet up with a cup of tea.

"I understand. I have already made plans, in fact." Neuvillette hesitates, and he can feel the temperature drops a few degrees. "I..cannot share them in full at the moment, but it is not for a lack of trust." Neuvillette reasoned, hands folded neatly in his lap– not that it hid the way they shook slightly. He wanted to ask, but he thought better of it.

"Eh, I don't hold it against you. The walls have ears, even up here." He deflected, running a hand through his hair. He really hoped Sigewinne wouldn't ask too much when he gets back. "I trust your judgment." He hesitates for a long moment, pulling out a simple, neatly folded letter of his own.

"Memorize the code words, then burn it. I'll be waiting for your next letter." He murmurs, plucking his coat and cloak and tugging them back on one after another, shuffling back over to the latched door. He hesitates again, his hand lingering on the door.

"I just hope your plan is worth the risk, Neuvillette."

He leaves before he can respond, the harsh click of the door ringing in his ears even as he steps back into the shadows of the night.

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #imposter au #genshin cult au #genshin impact cult au #furina #neuvillette #wriothesley #furina in the back just awkwardly sitting there bc she aint fighting wrio KHSDKHFKHJ #she was there for his trial when he killed two adults as a CHILD shes not fighting the adult version no ty #also writing reader to be as lowkey eldritch horror as possible. they r just playing nice rn but :)#reader collecting fontaine chars like pokemon cards #anyway wow i wonder what his plan is...wonder who it is he's involved besides wrio.......haha #cough cough #:]#looks at my other fics. haha.........ha....#anyway #slowly bringing in the key players one by one but it's probably gonna be in multiples now #if u guess correctly who neuvi is making plans w u get a lopsided gold star sticker that says “good job!” :]#i promise the lore will make sense soon (it wont im making it up as i go along)#if u see any typos no u didnt #zzzzzzzzzzzz gn #fic tag

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anna-scribbles · 4 months

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had a conversation last week with a 10 year old girl about the s5 finale and i can’t stop thinking about it. she said nathalie is the best because she loves adrien enough to lie to him about his father so that he stays happy. completely convinced that emilie was resurrected at the end and shocked when i suggested otherwise. i’ve been dying to know what the children think happened and it’s so interesting

#anna rambles #ml s5 #ml season 5 #ml #i personally don’t think that adrien’s gonna find out anything in future seasons #which to me feels unsatisfying #but it’s interesting that (from my sample size of one child) maybe the kids would see that as a good thing #it felt to me like the show was framing it as a good thing at least #so it would be interesting to find out how more of the (young) target audience perceived it #bc i feel like most of the adult fans i’ve seen online assume that adrien will find out or at least would find it unsatisfying if he didnt #when i asked if she thought it could’ve been amelie at the end her jaw dropped and she said ‘no because he’s always down there talking #about how he’s gonna bring his wife back! he says it all the time and that’s what he did!’#& i was like. girl yeah you’re right😭 that is also what i thought when i saw it😭#anyway I need to talk to more kids about ml. for science

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novelconcepts · 9 months

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You really do have to admire Shauna Shipman. Literally the worst liar in the world. Just so. SO bad at it. And yet she keeps on trucking. Lies aplenty. Her first instinct, every time, and she is just an absolute TRAGEDY at it.

#yellowjackets #shauna shipman #I love her so much. she’s awful at it as a child. as a teen. as an adult.#and still she carries on. the most reliable liar of all time.

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nonbinarylesbianherb · 13 days

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people when the 15 year old girl who was manipulated and groomed into child marriage and marital rape doesn’t say the perfect, most mature, best response to everything possible: 😡😡😡🤬🤬

#alicent hightower #young alicent #hotd #house of the dragon #i hate some of you so bad #and some of you are GROWN ADULTS #getting angry over a CHILD who’s experienced extreme amounts of trauma #rhaenicent #‘shes so immature’ shes 15!!

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sweepingboy · 4 months

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sweeping general

#giving my qing’s inner child a strong warm hug #he deserves everything #the pressure he was under must be insane #he never told anyone how bad it was not even his mother #she was already sad that her little boy had to work hard to provide them both #learning that he was over going through abuse daily? that would kill her #really wish he had some adult to rely on in his childhood but he only had himself #mu qing #tgcf #tgcf mu qing #mxtx tgcf

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winepresswrath · 3 months

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sudden yearning for time travelling teen jiang fengmian lands at lotus pier fic that winds up being about a perfectly nice kid having a varying series of "oh no. i don't like that. that's a lot" reactions.

#i think in order for this to be satisfying i have to give grace and interiority to teenmian #i'm picturing an older teen like 18ish? maybe even early 20s?#big crush on csr he's already pretty sure isn't going to work out #but at least he'll always have wei-xiong #anyway this is my ploy to give jfm a chance at an ugly crying meltdown #he's trying so hard to be even keeled and like #maybe take this as an evil vision designed to teach him something #but somewhere in between my crush stole my man and then they died #my whole sect burned #my grown ass son who is older than me making the vibe sooooo weird #and my grandson! child of my dead???? daughter??????#is just like yeah he never talks about you. no never never #and then wwx blows into town and idk somehow they all end up at dinner together and jfm politely calls lqr a punk ass bitch in front of lwj #because what???? context clues suggest lqr has the fucking nerve to not like wei xiong's baby after All That #only for adult son with the weird vibes #to imply only filial piety is keeping him from naming the real #punk ass bitch #anyway this ends with jfm crying because clearly he marries yuanyuan and she HATES HIM and then his own son ALSO HATES HIM #and would rather stupid Lan-er-gongzi #be his dad.#if you like lqr so much why don't you just join the lan sect then?????#and that's how jc learns he didn't get it all from his mama #jc didn't mean it he was stressed! this isn't his dad it's an a-ling sized kid. but it's still stressful

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another-goblin · 2 months

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2.1 Spoilers

List of playable children in hsr. Is he 13 in like dog years or something? He does compare himself to a dog…

#honkai star rail #my stuff #hsr 2.1 spoilers #hsr 2.1 #hsr spoilers #huohuo #hsr misha #hsr hook #hsr clara #gallagher #yanqing #there is no bailu because she's about 800 I think #also not sure about houhou #and misha #and sushang is 15 so also a child sort of #but she also said once that she's several times older #then a short-living adult man #so who knows

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madeofjules · 3 months

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Boggs to Katniss: "I'm planning for you to have a long life"

Boggs, 2 secs later: *sends Katniss on a suicide mission to assassinate the president, which has no chance of happening*

#will never get all the love for him #he was great at first #then he failed her like every other adult in her life #so many people died on that mission and everyone blames katniss #she was a child he knew better #he also told her to kill peeta who was also a child #the hunger games #thg #mockingjay #anti boggs #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark

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radiocrypt-id · 4 months

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I got- I can't!

Imagine being 15, you've grown up your whole life with this one belief in this one God and you were told you were Chosen by Him, for Him. And you're 15. You believe so fully in the spirit of your religion, not necessarily the word, that you want to go to a non-religious school to try and help other kids maybe find your God because you genuinely believe that could be helpful to some of them, because it's all you know, and it's helped other strangers (human trafficking victims she helped in the black pit before) so why not other kids her age? You're 15 and all you can think about is helping others. And you start thinking about your religion, and reading books, and asking questions and you come to the conclusion that maybe your God and His Father aren't actually all that great. Maybe the church you're in has done some really bad things that you can't possibly make up for. Maybe that church is still doing bad things. And then you find out your family is actually in a cult for that God, not just part of the normal church, and you suddenly have to undo all the cult shit in your brain you were raised with, while that cult stuff you know about is actually useful to your friends, like having that knowledge is helpful for them! You're 15 and you stop going home. You have no real adult supervision or carer, just your other 15 year old friends.

Imagine you're 16, you're gay and figuring that out on top of navigating your first full romantic relationship and being the sole creator and cleric to a new God that you honestly find to be very two dimensional and empty. You're on a quest to find an evil being and stop them. You nearly die. Your friends nearly die. You're 16. You're 16 and feel something calling out to you, you know it's divine because you've felt that sort of pull before, but you've never felt one like this. You find memories and hints and pieces and you figure out that the evil being you have to stop, isn't evil, she's just hurting. She's hurt and She's a God. She's your God, and she's so happy to see you, and she has so many ideas, and so many hopes.

You're 17. You've spent your rest time (summer vacation) tearing across the world chasing down and defeating another evil thing that you and your friends accidentally released in the first place. Your God is with you, you have no time for Her. No time for anything but trying to survive and stay sane. You know She's disappointed in you, but you're one person -ONE PERSON- and you're 17. You missed your birthday. again. You've saved the world; again. You're so fucking tired -like always. You're Chosen, and alone, and have no idea what to do with your life, let alone your God. You aren't very good at school, but you go to every class. You're drowning as you try to rewrite your understanding of the world from what you grew up with, having no idea how to do anything without a book and godly hand to guide you. You only ever followed before, your new God is demanding you Lead. You don't know how. You're only 17. You see your horrible, abusive parents spitting abuse and racist rhetoric at your baby brother, who you haven't seen in two years, on the front steps to your school and for the first time ever you are filled with righteous fury. Your God answers your call, not knowing what you need but so eager to help, eager for your attention, she starts talking to you but you're busy -why can't she understand that you're fucking busy? trying to not die, trying to be safe, trying to keep your friends alive, trying to navigate a world that hates you, you're 17 and you're busy goddammit just wait!- and she snaps back at you and flees. The next time you see Her, maybe an hour later, She's got a creature with Her that nearly destroyed you and your friends last year sitting in her lap, so smug to see you again.

You're 17- no, 16- no, 15 years old and you're expected to build and carry the world on your shoulders, Chosen from birth, raised a lamb to follow a Shepard, not to be followed behind. You have no one and nothing and everyone expects everything and you can't back up, you can't pause because if you do someone dies and doesn't come back. You have to be a hero, a chosen, a saint. The steps behind you crumble to dust with each step you take forward and the new one is already cracking under your weight. There are only wrong choices. There's no hand reaching for you. God, you were taught, will save and guide you. God knows best. Why is your God looking to you, a mortal human, to be saved, raised and guided? You're a child.

You're just a child.

You just want to go home, wherever that is. You thought it was your God, but She's not exactly helping you out either, is She? She's just disappointed. Like everyone else. Like you.

You're 17. You think it would have been better to never do any of this. It would have been easier to stay, blind and naive. Sometimes you think you should have stayed in heaven. Sometimes you think about the God you killed by not being good enough for it. Sometimes you lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling and pretend you don't exist for awhile. Sometimes you work your body so hard you forget it's there and your mind shuts up and you exist without being you. Sometimes you wish you never asked any questions or read any books. You're 17, but sometimes you wish you were 15, with no idea yet.

You're 17. You wish you were good enough.

#dimension 20 #kristen applebees #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #d20 fhjy #fhjy spoilers #dimension 20 fhjy #dimension 20 fantasy high #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 spoilers #words #can you tell my religious trauma is popping off?#I have big feelings about kristen #she's just a kid man leave her alone #it's not fair for a god to expect a child to be able to perform what many adults do over many years in just the span of a few months #yeah it's not fair cassandra has had the lot of getting a child for her only cleric but like #she reached out to and accepted kristen! she the God here! it's like when a grown adult expects a toddler to know to not run into a road #without being taught. that's a baby #she's gonna run into the road many times until someone takes her hand and kindly teaches her to not #kristen litterally needs some kinda reliable help. she knows there's something wrong and that she's fucking it up she just literally doesn'#know how to fix it! someone help her!!!#fantasy high

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