#is my point clear tho. i hope so
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dazai is shameless (more accurately i think he's desensitized to the feeling of shame when he's ashamed of his own exis- actually that's a topic for another time) which is why he has no problem saying all this embarrassing shit to chuuya. "our hearts reached out to each other" is more embarrassing to us as readers than it is for him as a person. that's the guy who confessed his love to a dude he met the day before
SO in order to fluster him chuuya needs to just be nice to him. thank him compliment him be genuine smile and be kind and gentle. ik wan isn't considered canon but i sincerely believe anything that's like. character based (as in, not the actual stories, but the personalities and behaviors of everyone) is. and this is p mucc explicitly shown there, more than once even. that's his weakness 👍 that's how you can take him down. join me 🤝 i can show you beautiful things
#phrasing may be off (in the quote as well) bc i am half asleep. 3/4 asleep even. sorry#is my point clear tho. i hope so#tldr chuuya earnestly telling dazai he loves him is the best way to get dazai to short circuit#he is immune to being made fun of. gotta hit him where it hurts (the self loathing) (or the balls ig)#this is the least projecting i ever did in a dazai post i think. he is not like me fr
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i'm still stuck on the purgatories so here's a list of purgatory 2 moments simply off the top of my head that deserve to be remembered:
aimsey ducking all of axolotl team alone in a cave with literally half a heart
goose gang fucking descending on the raccoon base and absolutely wrecking shop
ethan crankgameplays clutching up for team panda during the capture the flag game by being the only one hanging out in the center and periodically checking the chests, earning them a shitton of flags and clutching multiple rounds
crow team's egg taking 0 damage
pac doxxing goose gang's egg in the last second
shelby shubble as the last member of her team online writing a letter to aimsey and sharing the world's most devastating ten minutes before her team was eliminated with one of the eye creatures (coco? i forgot lol)
badboyhalo absolutely fucking DEMOLISHING the battleship event on like 2 hours of sleep and a dream
wuant(?) stealing a tv from the battleship event and then playing portuguese ice age on it for the crows lmfao
tubbo djing for his team while waiting for the time for a goose gambit
theguill CRASHING THROUGH THE FUCKING CEILING of the raccoon team's hidey hole like the fucking kool aid man in a last effort to save his team and 4v1 or 5v1 ing team raccoon; he lost but that was such an epic fucking moment
theguill and etoiles pvping and each hyping the other's skills the entire time
seapeekay escaping cellbit and baghera and then stealing their boats and rocketing past to tease them about it; that shit was iconic
kenny going mad with power collecting sand on literally day 1
the english speaking squirrels taking actual physical notes on portuguese phrases (i think)
lgbtiba
i may add more this is an off the top of my head list but like got DAMN i like these events :D i like them a lot
#qsmp#qsmp purgatory 2#qpurgatory 2#there hope those filter for u fuckers#(/affectionate)#shut up vic#block game brainrot#if you can't tell my povs went something like this:#crab -> raccoon -> panda -> capybara -> goose -> crow#so i didn't watch all of them lmfao#i only spent a few hours with raccoon and crab; panda i caught all of#capybara and goose i mostly watched on their elimination day#crow i hopped into on the final day as well tho i'd been keeping some tabs on them previously#just not concentrated watching#i like purgatories :D#to be clear though i hope they don't run purg 3 until like november 2024 at the absolute EARLIEST#the staff is NOT at the point they can handle it yet lol not for a while#the fact that one of the ex devs said they were already talking about purg 3 was crazy#like i'm patient i'm not nuts let's cook this one#this is neglecting to mention the post-server close calls which are my favorite part of the event no contest#oh yeah and i also have issues w how some of the special events work#those need some tweaking it's not perfect by any stretch of the imagination#but i enjoy it :) it has good moments
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omfg I am so behind on this (and yes I’ve only become aware of it because Nicholas Galitzine offof rwarb is in it) but they’re making a fucking Duke of Buckingham series!!!
And you’re all sitting there like “who??” well let me tell you about this absolute fuck.
George Villiers, Duke of Buckingham was the favourite of King James VI&I and by favourite I do mean it in the gayest of ways. (He started life as Sir George, the shittest of titles, and fucked his way to a Dukedom.)
Long story short, here’s a list of things I need to see in this series or I will SUE:
George slut dropping his way into James’s bed. (I mean, he danced for him, but whatever the 17th century equivalent to slut dropping was you can bet George was doing it.)
The exasperation of James’s advisors when he picks yet another beautiful young man to fuck and give totally unreasonable amounts of money and power to.
Even funnier if they show them actively helping George overthrow James’s old favourite before realising “oh shit this one’s worse.”
George failing consistently at every job he was given. (Yes I know he didn’t actually but where’s the comedy in competency? Give me himbo George or give me death.)
Parliament calling James to task on George being a fucking useless nuisance and James standing up in front of parliament and literally saying, “You may be sure that I love the Earl of Buckingham more than anyone else, and more than you who are here assembled. I wish to speak in my own behalf, and not to have it thought to be a defect, for Jesus Christ did the same, and therefore I cannot be blamed. Christ had his John, and I have my George.” (Huge points for throwing Jesus under the gay bus too.)
James practically arranging George’s marriage for him and then riding his horse around the park crying because George, shock, got married.
What better be the dirtiest sex scenes ever broadcast on British television that lead to the “master and dog” letter.
The consistent drama queenery from James, e.g:
I refuse to tag this as a spoiler because it happened 400 years ago: George smothering James and then playing the heartbroken widow to his son. (Historically debated, if anyone wants details shoot me an ask.)
George getting stabbed to death in what was probably the justified climax of him being the most irritating man alive.
George’s assassin getting the warmest send off ever given by any crowd at a public execution cause the people hated George so fucking much.
#Nicholas Galitzine#literally zero interest in historical accuracy beyond these points#I do think the series is going to focus on George being evil tho#which is a shame#cause he was James’s favourite for 10 years and I genuinely think there was affection from George#I also hope they don’t try and hammer home that he was totally straight#I know there’s a chance he was but I still don’t find it very likely at all#lots of straight men at court didn’t fuck the king for power#also to be clear I love George and will be defending him to the death#but he was also useless and stupid and possibly a murderer#but also he’s my baby :) so :)#and he died 400 years ago so he’s essentially a fictional character and therefore he’s allowed to be my problematic fave#AND HE PROBABLY DIDNT KILL JAMES ANYWAY#George and Mary#History#George Villiers#James I#LGBT History#Gay History
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I was stressed but now i'm more chill and really sleepy...
#overall my mood has been better but i am so incredibly terrified of the future... its like....#like i feel as if someone has holding me at gun point and got told thst if i did any mistakes they would shoot#but then im not given clear instructions on what i need to do and i have to figure it out myself#i am really scared... even tho all of this gave me a new objective... i dont wanna be obsolete...#... so... that what we will work on... also... i wanna work towards my dreams...#I've been putting it off for so long i want to do it#people support me and actually enjoy my voice... i want to...#the things on my plate right now are things i can achieve... but i want more... i want things i actually want...#i want...#my house has a constant buzzing sound. i believe its because of the small power plant behind the lot. which makes it difficult for recording#since i have to get rid of that and that messes with the rest of the audio#its comforting to know it wasnt the mic tho... heh...#tomorrow lets try to take the first few steps... well more like lets try to continue with the set up#we have already a couple stuff but we still have a lot missing...#... today the girls said some stuff that impressed me... thats how im perceived?... is that what people think of me?#i kinda want to... fulfill those 'expectations'... they dont expect anything but its more of a me thing... ive been dreaming and hoping for#so long but i dont take the next step. i never do... and its because of the executive dysfunction... but... once i get the hang of it...#once i do... everything will be excellent... and we will take it easy#i am so tired already... i feel im gonan falla sleep#seari talks
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Does anyome else have those dreams once a year about the perfect relationship/partner or is that just me
#I remember everything in clear detail ehat thfi#As an aroace person i am distraught#Not only because idk if i will ever even trust like that#But because my last dream was about being able to jump really high so#what was the point of this mental walfare#why was that the perfect qpr though like#what. Hello#HELLO??#i hope my next dream i cab fly though yipee#man i can never remember their face tho brah#jerrsterrr jests#j dreams
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just wanted to apologise bc -incomprehensible noises- i am ........... Slow ... like i say it all the time but yeah! i can be very veery slow with both ic and ooc responses, so i can't stress it enough- but that really is no indication of my interest for things!!!! 😭 i'm not purposely ignoring anyone i prommy,, 🥹 it's just that slow </3 and have a horribly weak social battery </3 also just 2 be clear, this isn't abt anyone!!! i just wanted to say this bc i've just been especially -vague hand gestures- these days ..... _(:3」∠) yknow?
#&&. out of#ty for your patience 🥺🙏#and tbh i do wanna be super transparent abt this bc i've had some ppl get pretty peeved abt this so whfjshcjs#which valid !!! but on my end; i'm just a weak binch and sometimes writing hard :') (Most of the time tbh)#so yeah i just wanted to be super clear abt this point !!#i wish i could have da energy to be able to write replies and respond to stuff super fast but alas 😔#i hope this doesn't discourage ppl from interacting with me tho 😭#i may b slow but i still slide my paw under ur door ...... hi 🥺
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I just remembered that a naruto fan art rendition of Judith beheading her rapist Holofernes exists and ☹️
#the one where sasuke is Holofernes andd sakura is Judith#like i like piece the artist is really talented but#A why did you make all of the white????#B girl wtf are you tryna say#C no really whats the point whatvwas the reason#what a odd moment in naruto fandom history i hope she made some money off those prints#why were they yt tho#it was just salt in the wound to make them Caucasians#like yeah sasuke was an ass to Sakura but Judith beheading her rapist Holofernes girl#that is not the comparison i would have made but damn ok i guess#i will always be so curious what was jt that was trying to be said there beautiful art but at the end of the day im just confused#and wasn't she a Kylo ren fan#.................... like#where is the disconnect#naruto#pro sasuke#and to be clear in my opinion Sakura got what she put out in that relationship#like no one is owed civilty and when you cross peoples boundaries repeatedly you are even less deserving of it#sasuke and sakura were just two really different people who just did not get along and they both learned that the hard way#D why would you do that to such a beautiful and significant artwork
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thinking of stepbro!remus asking another girl to prom and reader is PISSED. ups the “fuck you ill do what I want” (aka brat) behaviour x1000.
,,,,listen I just love stepbro!remus and the variation of reader we’ve all collectively created to go with him
oh you definitely wash his new white dress shirt with pinks and reds. it’s shit like that that you do afterwards - messing with his plans because how dare he. you know that obviously there’s no way for you two to go to prom together, but going with another girl is a whole other thing that makes you the most livid you’ve ever been.
literally the entire time leading up to prom is just constant fighting and animosity (which means a bunch of sexual tension building). it isn’t until he finds out that you’re going with some jock from school that he corners you in your own room.
a lot of fighting happens - it’s really a good thing he chose to come to you when the house was empty bc otherwise… - and leads to remus shoving you face down into your bed to fuck the brat out of you (it doesn’t work and never will hehe)… you both end up calling it quits with your dates in the end.
#no bc i love stepbro!remus so much too#he makes my heart n kitty flutter <33#they’re both 18+!! i hope that’s clear#we pretend they go to school later or something idk#point is that they’re adults 👍#imagine asking out sirius tho to get back at him#aksjdkj anyways#i couldn’t think of dialogue for this tho i’m so sorry#i left you hanging and i apologize 😭#remus lupin x reader#notsfw#stepbrother!remus#tw stepcest#remuslupin.darkfic#dark fic
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I read killing stalking and I am screaming its so fucked (in a good way?), I'm generally uncomfortable with the CONSTANT explicit and obviously fetishised rape scenes, its just gross, HOWEVER literally every other part of the comic portrayed this horrifically abusive relationship in such an interesting way, I almost fell for sangwoos bullshit later on when he was acting all vanilla and normal with Bum, BUT THAT WAS JUST YET ANOTHER layer of manipulation, maybe even subconsciously.
from all the talk about this comic a few years ago I thought it was just glorifying an abusive relationship but like no, you're not meant to want these two together, you're meant to root for Bum to get out, though again, the rape scenes are so much and so unnecessary and totally damped an actually interesting story
I gotta be honest 😅 I’ve kinda moved on from KS cuz I read it like a year ago, so I don’t really have the memory or energy to give this a proper thought out reply. But I will say I didn’t take any of the scenes from KS to be anywhere near fetishizing tbh. I’ll probably never experience a situation like the one in KS, and the only way I would ever know how scary and terrifying that would be is through a piece of literature like KS. Do some people take the content from KS and do…nefarious things with it? Yes. Does that mean Koogi was fetishizing SA/abuse? I…um…Based on my readings of Koogi interviews, absolutely no fetishizing was being done by the author.
And, I don’t mean for this to be rude, but no you’re not meant to root for Bum to get out. You’re meant for him to get help. In every aspect of his life, not just help away from Sangwoo. He’s not a perfect character and he’s not meant to be. He did hurt people and do bad things—even before he met Sangwoo, he’s a deeply flawed and broken character. Bum wasn’t the ‘good guy’ of the comic. Nor was he the bad guy. No one really was. That’s one of biggest points of the whole comic.
Sangwoo is the biggest example of this imo. What do you think would’ve changed about him if his mother hadn’t been his abuser?
#THIS IS NOT TO SAY SANGWOO WASNT A BAD GUY THO#TO BE CRYSTAL ABSOLUTELY CLEAR. SANGWOO IS A MURDERER AND A PSYCHOPATH. HIS UPBRINGING DOESNT EXCUSE THAT.#his upbringing EXPLAINS his actions. and if his upbringing had been different so would his actions. THAT’S MY POINT. nothing else.#like. abuse makes people abusers. abuse is a cycle and unfortunately Sangwoo didn’t break it.#okay that reads wrong now that I’m rereading it. abuse CAN make people abusers. it’s not inherent.#killing stalking#killing stalking webcomic#inbox reply#delete later?#I really hope this doesn’t come off rude#my intent isn’t to be rude but tone is lost and I’m sorry for bad word choices
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Dancing Des~
#based off the overall vibe of the latest episode of helluva boss as well as just some dance music#I have an appointment today in less than half hour so probably just gonna leave this here and crash after that#if anyone is curious what I'm doing with des after the newest episode? nothing#desirae is vortex's girlfriend was still is tex and bee are great buds tho#I can ship what I want doesn't have to include canon ships if I don't want it to#I like bee! I do! I think her and tex are fine! I just already have desirae#and my friends really like bee so they can have her~ hope they have fun with her!#I couldn't find a clear fennec fox paw pad reference so just any points missing are the same color as her fur#helluva boss#fan character#desirae
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wah....I didn't expect to clear golbez ex in the 2nd time ive done this fight but I also died an embarrassing amount of times while having to flipflop every party/clock spot and being braindead (I feel bad for my party but they were nice) but we tried to farm it and hugely unsuccessful- OTL
#ffxiv#ooc#i guess that's primal for you#still too stupid for gales but I get by#strange amount of wait where are you going happening in the enums tho#come back! ....oh well im not as important as the healer/tank being alive so it's ok#definitely feels like they hugely adjusted the hp compared to barb and rubi. closer to rubi but i didnt really expect him to go down so eas#deffo not as fun as barb still. sadge#eargh i wish it wasnt so embarrassing to practice.#definitely too much going on at a lot of points so not exactly a good feeling fight besides frantic ones that turns my brain off#but i'll get used to it#i need an emote that's the japanese kowtow emote to properly apologize#hhhnggh. i was hoping to get cleaner at it so i wouldnt have to worry about pf staleness but a clear is fine
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washing machine update:
pros: clothes came out a normal level of dry, did not have to wring then out, no horrible noises
cons: house filled with smoke, smell indescribable, had to vacate so that i could breathe, legitimately not sure if i can sleep here tonight, i feel like i am going to throw up
#WOOHOO!!!!!!!#at this point i just wanna get a new one - this is ridiculous#i appreciate that our mechanic tried - but i cannot live like this#excited to have my clothes clean tho… have to say…#i just hope the smokey smell clears out so i can sleep in my own bed tonight…#worst case scenario my mom-mom lives nextdoor - so i could just stay with her and my mom#but - for many reasons - I Would Prefer Not To…#i’ve opened all the windows and have all the fans going so 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻#i even propped open the DOOR that’s right next to it for Maximum Ventilation#WE SHALL SEE#i really didn’t want this to be an Ongoing Saga… i just wanted it RESOLVED…#Alas….
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im so tired😭😭
#i did not eat dinner sry cringe fail flop etc i was too scared to leave the bedroom bc#the rest of my apt is rly stressing me out im normal 👍👍#so i didnt want to leave the comfort of my room bc even tho its not that clean or nice or tidy its the most tidiest place in here#my living room is cluttered w my suitcase and bags i need to unpack and i dont put them in my room bc the room is too small nd itd like#clutter it so its all just in mg living room#plus all the stuff in my closet i had to take out cuz scared the water nd moisture from leak will spread to rest of wall and get everything#wet nd my sister made me paranoid abt bugs gstting attracted to all fhe moisture and or breeding 👍#so i tried to be preventative and took everything out plus when maintenance comes on wednesday#i need to have the space cleared anyway when they hopefully fix the wall#and this big ass fan maintenance gave me is in the hallway outside my room pointed toward the ceiling nd#its so loud i got used to it but its louder when im outside my bedroom and kind of over stimulating#but im trying not to be affected and also just staying in my room where its still loud and audible but less if i was outside i guess#and my bathroom needs to be cleaned but the leak above my shower is grossing me out etc#and idk i havent eben checked if everything has stopped leaking i rly hope so😭😭#so anyway im just hiding in my room bc its the least stressful place for me rn but i also didnt eat dinnerso i feel delirious rn👍
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Alrighty got my concepts for my new dnd character now just to actually figure out how the fuck hexblade warlocks work </3
#rat rambles#oc posting#one of my partymembers played a hexblade warlock for the last lil bit of out last campain so ig I can cross reference him a lil bit#obviously not a lot since he was a Much higher levek than my boy will be fjfndjdh#Im gonna wait to rly get to sheet creation until out session zero tho since our dm wants to wait til then to rly go over stuff#like stat rolling and such#I hope we roll for stats I dont like standard array or point buy dnfnfjfnd#itd be fine if we did one of those two but Id rather not#I think we rolled for our last characters so I dont see why theyd change that for this so ya#and I think we started with a feat last time too so I should probably brainstorm ideas for if we get one again#I know I should probably do one of the combat related ones but also thats boringgggggg#I do know I might go for a kinda more defensive build since my party is likely gonna be. not very bulky lol#which is funny since Im playing a 16 yr old kitty cat gndkrndjd#hes gonna have tboy swag (cringe) and also mommy issues <3#sometimes you end up helping a morally questionable magic bread knife under the promise of free testosterone#Im not entirely sure what voice Im gonna do for him since Im not sure if I wanna lean more into tired subway worker or service voice#I also need to draw him at some point but at least I have a pretty clear image in my head for him#hes gonna be an orange boy :3#and yes his name is gonna be jonny I think Im set on that
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365 Days of Poems: Day 9 (January 9th)
Macabre Dawn
I remember it like it was yesterday
I remember the sunlight
beginning to seep through my closed eyelids
coaxing me awake
I remember the freezing numbness
that had settled deep in my limbs
as I lifted my body off the grass
I remember the stench of death and decay
radiating from the hundreds of bodies
littered across the field
I remember the glow of the fresh morning
illuminating the pale faces
of both friend and enemy
I remember the glinting shine
reflecting off of every pool and drop of blood
settled on skin and soaking into soil
I remember the startling calm I felt
just before the shaking of fear
rattled and contaminated my bones
I remember nearly tripping
to plummet my way back to the ground
as my body needed to flee
I remember not so much my coming home
but rather the waves of guilt that hit me with each step
screaming, “why me?”
I remember it like it was yesterday
and it might as well have been
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Here's the link to the corresponding writing prompt post
#im currently still trying to catch up with the poems#im so close tho if i write 3 today then ill be caught up#but im more needing to catch up with posting cos holy shit im way behind#anyhoo this poem is about a soldier waking up to see they are the only survivor of a very bloody and horrific battle#and as a result they clearly have survivors guilt/ptsd as well as intense guilt for the violence they took part in#which i hope is pretty clear by what i wrote here#(the reason im saying this is cos i dont think there are really any other ways of interpreting this)#(and its important it retains my intended meaning)#as for my 9th i distinctly recall finishing a house with good bones by t kingfisher#(which was me listening to the audiobook as fast as i humanly could cos my loan with libby was about to expire)#i really liked it and found it pretty original/interesting#if i get the chance to physically read it i probably will#other than that i dont remember much at this point#i guess thats what i get for taking so long with posting these#thanks for reading#writing#writer#creative writing#writing prompt#poem#poetry#writeblr#trying to be a writeblr at least#edit: i now remember that my girlfriend and i started watching squid game on the 9th
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I’m very into spiraling about not knowing things that are probs not that important these days like What is the question these polls are asking!! What are they about!!! How does everyone else know!!! Or is there actually no meaning and I need to just hear a human being’s voice and have a nice beverage with straw and rocking chair break!!!!!!!!!
#jus talkin#I am silly#this is certified sillypost#me: man social media is so confusing there’s all these people and they know things and say things!!!#real life: (that Rihanna gif) (and also you’ve got a big storm coming honey or whatever it is)#it’s just hard to tell sometimes if there’s like a real detail I’m missing or if I’m just missing the point haha#that’s like 50% i don’t get on enough to keep up 50% I am cuckoo caca insahno#irl I probably need sleep but I’m gonna have a nice (caffeinated) beverage with straw and rocking chair break#me One day after saying I don’t really care lmaooo#I don’t care tho just to be clear#note: I am so happy for my sweet baby girl vampire sweetheart beloved wife demon angel tho#i hope she won a nice prize like a really big strawberry or smth
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