#ironspider crack
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Starker/IronSpider ⎊🕸️ meet-cute, pre-slash, 5+1 things, crack treated seriously
This is the last of my multidimensional!starker au! But if there's enough demand for an interaction between the diff starkers of the diff universe, then I might just do a dialogue-heavy fic on that 😊
#starker#peter parker#tony stark#spiderman#iron man#marvel#ironspider#fanfic#read on ao3#meet cute#5+1 things
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If you're taking prompts I'd love to see Peter calling Tony Daddy and Tony kinda freaking out cause he doesn't see himself in that role, not even sexually. Cause let's be honest, that man's got some daddy issues hahah. Thank youu
I didn’t go as ‘character study’ as I could with this, because I thought we deserved some light-hearted crack fic. I hope that’s okay!
No TW. SFW.
“Am I... Am I old? Am I really that old? I mean, I know I’m no spring chicken, and I swear that’s a grey coming in at my temple, but-”
“You’re fifty-one,” Pepper reminded him primly, cutting him off before he could begin a ten minute tangent that would distract her from answering. She turned the page of her magazine and hummed thoughtfully. It wasn’t the first time Tony had worried about his age, but…
“What happened?”
Tony looked distant and distressed, staring at himself in the mirror. “Peter called me Daddy last night. Daddy. That’s not... How is that sexy, Pep? Fathers aren’t the thing you wanna be thinking about when you’re naked with someone.”
“Its a kink thing, Tony,” she explained patiently, rolling her eyes. “Nobody actually wants to fuck their father. Its more of a... Caregiving thing, I suppose. Receiving the love and attention they never did from their actual father.”
That apparently made it worse. Tony’s expression twisted and his lips parted on the beginning of a horrified psycho-analytic rant. Pepper tuned it out until she finished her magazine, sighing and pushing herself to her feet.
“Tony. Talk to him; if its not your thing, he’ll understand” she told him warmly but firmly, squeezing his shoulder before making a hasty exit. She was no therapist and had better things to do with her evening than listen to her ex-lover panic over his current sexual exploits.
She left Tony in her wake; jaw ticking and fingertips sliding restlessly over his temple where he was sure there was a grey lurking somewhere.
And Tony meant to take her advice, really. He meant to act like the grown ass adult he was, except...He was a chicken. A coward. This involved emotions and personal introspect and no doubt Peter would make it a Whole Conversation, so he just...
Ignored it. Buried his head in his work until the next time he found himself balls deep in his boyfriend, watching in horror as his lips shaped the word.
“Da-Mph!” Peter jolted as Tony clapped a hand over his mouth, looking momentarily confused before his eyes rolled back as Tony nailed him again, driving for that sweet spot to take his mind completely off anything except where Tony was buried inside him.
And it worked, except that it was the second time Peter had gone to say Daddy in sex, and Tony’s mind wouldn’t stop ticking over like a clock; fixated on it.
It ate away at him until he let out a groan in the lab, setting his wrench down and turning to Peter with squared shoulders.
“Do you see me as a father figure?”
Peter looked up, screwdriver hanging out of his mouth, one brow lifted quizzically. “Um?”
“You keep trying to call me Daddy and Pepper said it was just a kink thing but its happened three times now and I just... What do I do? Take you to football games? Call you ‘Champ’ while I hit it from the back? Attend family therapy with you?”
Peter’s expression lay somewhere between ‘which drugs did you take?’ and ‘you have three heads’. Maybe a little ‘I think I just died of embarrassment’ sprinkled on top for seasoning. The boy seemed to flounder for a moment, mouth opening and closing, before he folded his arms defensively.
“I thought that was what you liked!”
“What?”
“The... The Daddy thing. I thought you liked it. You’ve called yourself Daddy before and the magazine articles...”
Tony narrowed his eyes. “What magazine articles?”
Peter blanched. “Cosmo…?”
“Cosmo. You thought I liked being called Daddy because you read it in Cosmo.”
Peter blinked, blushed. Tony sighed. He supposed, in fairness, the fault somewhat lay with him. It usually did, in any regard.
“So... Not Daddy?” Peter asked after a moment, looking meek.
“Not Daddy,” he confirmed. Then paused. “Unless…? Say it again. Say it sexily.”
“Uh.” Peter seemed to flail for a moment, then pitched his best ‘come hither’ voice. “Please may I have the ultrasonic screwdriver, Daddy?”
Tony pulled a face. “Yeah, no. Not Daddy. But hey! There’s plenty of alternatives. Sir, for example. Or Your Majesty.”
“I’m not calling you Your Majesty.”
“Well, it was worth a shot.”
#fanfic#starker#starker fanfiction#starker fanfic#starker crack#starker fluff#ironspider#ironspider fanfiction#ironspider fanfic#ironspider crack#starker: fluff#starker: crack#fluff#crack#tony stark/peter parker#tony stark x peter parker#sie fics
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If Starker was Twilight (Part 1??)
Idk where this idea came from, and honestly I’m not even drunk. If you want more pls let me know but honestly this is probably the weirdest thing I have ever made 🤣
....
My name’s Peter and I’m gonna spend some time with my aunt. And... this will be a good thing... I think.
In the state of New York, in a near constant cover of clouds and rain, there’s a small borough named Queens; population: 2.273 million people. This is where I’m moving.
My aunt’s May. She’s the chief of police.
I used to spend two weeks here almost every summer, but it’s been years.
My first day at a new school. It’s March - middle of the semester. Great.
.....
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someone give me history teacher!tony who’s just been hired at peter’s school. like, let’s just imagine that peter doesn’t really care for this new teacher until he hears that mr. stark is, well... eccentric.
and when he goes to history class, he realizes that the rumours were 100% correct, because the first thing mr. stark does flip through their textbook, then say exasperatedly, “everything in this goddamn textbook is wrong. let me tell you what really happened during the french revolution,” before proceeding to give an explanation that makes the entire class think he’s on crack.
well, mr. stark isn’t on crack. turns out, he’s just one Very Tired Vampire™ who thought teaching high school history class would be a good idea, a good change in his life, something refreshing.
needless to say, the only refreshing thing in his life turns out to be peter parker, who catches his attention immediately.
#starker#ironspider#tony/peter#tony x peter#starker headcanons#pls like. i only want this to see Vampire Teacher Tony On Crack in history class#like do y’all not realize how hilarious that would be#that’s the only part i *really* want pLSJWKS
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Book!Tony and Bookmark!Peter
Tony and Peter come from the same bookstore. Their owner, Meredith, bought Tony before spotting Peter at the checkout and buying him, too. So, they go to Meredith's home together.
As Meredith reads Tony, she uses Peter to mark where she pauses whenever she finishes reading for the day. She's a slow reader, reading ten pages at most each time, so Tony and Peter get to know each other very well.
They become close. When Meredith leaves the room, they whisper to each other, keeping up conversation day and night.
They develop feelings for each other. Tony loves having Peter nestled amongst his pages, feels like he's protecting him from the world. Likewise, Peter loves being in them, the pages that were keeping hold of him feeling like a constant hug.
Eventually, Meredith finishes reading Tony... and Peter is taken out of him. She leaves Tony on her bookshelf and nestles Peter into the pages of a book she'd bought that day.
Tony and Peter have been separated, and they don't deal with it well. Tony's pages start aging and falling apart faster due to his stress and hurt feelings. Peter starts to fray around the edges, miserable in how much he misses Tony, and feeling trapped rather than comforted in the new book.
Meredith notices. She deems them too damaged to donate or sell, and stores them in a box in her attic. To save space, she places Peter inside Tony before putting them away.
Tony and Peter don't mind their new location. In fact, they love it. They look past their worn exteriors, not caring in the slightest that they're not as handsome as they were before their separation.
They're together again, and that's all that matters.
I’ve been saving this, but thought I’d release it to the world tonight.
Thank you sweet pea, I’m in love with this story 🥰🥰🥰
#starker#starker fam#one braincell family#ask annie#scoopy writes crack#and it’s beautiful#ironspider#tony x peter#together forever
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It’s after midnight (shitposting hours), and I just thought of Peter rick-rolling Tony as a half joke-half serious way of confessing his feelings. 😂
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Peter, a polite boi™: I beg your pardon?
Tony: beg harder.
Peter, not missing a beat: sorry, please daddy?
Tony:
Peter, a gen Z twink who knows exactly what he's doing:
Tony, who was only trying to make a dad joke and is now reevaluating his life choices while hiding his boner:
#starker#peter x tony#ironspider#incorrect quotes#crack of the legal kind#what the fucc is this bullshit#i havent slept well for days and have been crying for 18 hours today im emotionally raw and this is the content i come up with
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Tony and Peter: *fucking*
Peter: OH DADDY!
Tony: *stops and looks at Peter*
Peter: W...What?
Tony: I told you when we fuck it’s MR. AVOCADO MAN!
#tony stark#peter parker#tony x peter#peter x tony#tony stark x peter parker#peter parker x tony stark#starker#ironspidey#ironspider#incorrect starker#incorrect starker quotes#crack starker#starker crack#crack smut#lol im not funny#sorry not sorry#mr avocodo man#mr. avocodo man#memes#meme#daddy
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Conversation
Peter : kissing burns 6.4 calories a minute wanna test it out
Tony: are u calling me fat
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Mayhaps some IronSpider with possible WinterIronSpider? Peter being obsessed with Bucky’s metal arm (because obviously), being the only one Bucky allows to touch it. Tony walks him through some of the trickier maintenance when Peter needs him, but mostly Peter just likes hearing Tony tell him what to do to Bucky, likes to imagine it all in an entirely other setting. Perhaps, some day, it will come true...
It’s the innocence, maybe. Bucky’s arm has drawn many reactions: stares, pity, aversion, revulsion. In Tony, it incites enthusiasm—he’s been begging Bucky to come down to the lab and let him take a look at it, but Bucky’s had enough of labs, enough of being under someone’s scrutiny like a bug underneath a glass. No matter how much he likes Tony (and it’s too much, too much for the laundry list of reasons why he shouldn’t be pining after the genius), he won’t put himself through that.
Then comes Peter Parker, barely eighteen, with wide eyes and too many manners. When he sees Bucky’s arm for the first time, he lights up like a Christmas tree, palm hovering over the metal, asking, Can I please touch it, Mr. Barnes? Like that question in that innocent cracking voice doesn’t echo in Bucky’s brain and sends his thoughts right into the gutter. Whether it’s politeness or just a general softness for this boy-cum-superhero-cum-man, Bucky softens his expression and bears it.
Bears the soft, trembling touches. Bears the warmth of flesh against the cool metal. Bears Tony’s expression across the room, intense and knowing, so fucking knowing that Bucky looks down at his flesh hand clutched into a tight fist.
“It’s incredible,” Peter murmurs, turning Bucky’s metal hand palm up so he can trace over it like a fortune teller. Tell me, kid, is there a Murder Line? Can you see how many men I’ve choked the life from with that very palm?
“It’s powerful.”
“I know, but not too strong for me,” Peter laughs. He reaches up and mines how he caught Bucky’s fist in his own palm during their fight at the airport, and Bucky relaxes even more. He couldn’t choke the life out of this kid. Not even if he wanted to.
When he can’t put off the maintenance anymore, when the gears grind and it aches up his shoulder, up his neck, right up into his brain, he goes down to Tony in the lab like a dog with its tail between its legs, ready to fight down the panic and fear, anything so he doesn’t have to feel the pain anymore. But Tony takes one look at his empty expression and suggests something else.
“Careful,” Tony murmurs. “Soft touches, kid, steady hands—”
“Trying,” Peter breathes, breath fanning against the open panels of Bucky’s arm. Bucky grits his teeth and tries not to shiver, prays to god that he doesn’t get hard from the soft little touches the kid gives him. Closing his eyes doesn’t help, because so much of what Tony says can be taken out of context. It’s too easy to slip into a mindset where, firm now, kid, don’t let up pressure, there you go, good boy, keep going can mean something much, much more different.
“Tony, stop,” Peter mutters.
Tony laughs quietly. “What? I’m not doing anything.”
“You’re doing it on purpose and you’re going to distract me,” the kid says under his breath. Bucky’s eyes are closed where he’s leaning back against the chair, and he thinks the two of them might have figured he’s fallen asleep.
“What, kid? Don’t like it when I give you orders like that?”
“Tony,” Peter says sharply. “You know I, I like it too much.”
Jesus, Bucky thinks. So it’s not just in his head. Stark’s making these innuendos, and it’s affecting Peter.
“I’ll stop,” Tony says smugly. “Reconnect those wires and we’ll wake Sleeping Beauty to make sure the grinding has stopped and the calibration is correct. And hey—not to fluster you, but you’re doing great Pete, and I think it means a lot that Barnes trusts you enough to have you do this for him.”
There is a soft, wet sound. Kissing, Bucky thinks. Jesus, they’re kissing right over me. As desperate as he is to see, Bucky fights to keep his face lax and his eyes closed, convinced that if he even cracks them open to catch a glimpse of these two men he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about, then he might not be able to help himself.
“Thanks,” Peter breathes. “I’m glad he does too. I really like him.”
Tony chuckles warmly. “Noted, kid. And ditto. Go ahead and wake him, how did the Prince do it? With a kiss?”
“Tony,” Peter sighs, and then Bucky feels a warm hand on his shoulder, urging him awake, and he lets his eyes flutter open.
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The over-dramatic life of Peter Parker
Part 4/6
BUT IN A TWIST OF EVENTS….
AND TRAGICALLY…
Part 3 is here
Part 5 is here
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Cracky Starker things to consider:
What would be their PornHub account names?
Who walks in while the other is peeing and starts brushing their teeth?
Who dumps the coffee grounds in the garbage disposal?
What would their nickname be from their friends? (Besides Starker/IronSpider)
Which one wakes up late and puts on the other persons’ clothing by mistake?
What would their co-managed Youtube channel name be?
Who trips over their own discarded slippers at 4am?
Which one of them gets on the wrong plane/books the wrong tickets and ends up in another country?
#starker#starker fic#starker crack#starker fluff#starker musing#starker fam#starker chat#starker stuff#ironspider#ironspider fluff#ironspider fic#ironspider crack#ironspider musing#ironspider fam#ironspider chat
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Hi! Could you please make an analysis of Homecoming, IW, Endgame and possibly FFH (since Happy mentions her in that film), from Pepper's POV? I've always thought her witnessing of Tony's feelings about Peter, as well as her own feelings about him, have been so interesting yet so subtle. I love your idea of making an analysis from her POV! Please do that, thanks so much! (Love your work BTW)
Hi! Thank you so much for all the support! I feel flattered, thank you.
Let’s start by reminding ourselves that Pepper is the one person who has been trying for YEARS to make Tony give up the suits. She’s the one that usually is against putting people in danger and the dangerous life in general. So when the first thing she asked in Homecoming was ‘Where’s the kid?’ you know something is up. People usually love to make Tony the villain in this situation, saying he was about to ‘kidnap’ Peter and expose him to more danger when the one that organized the meeting was Pepper. And Pepper would never put a kid’s life in danger. And let’s remember Tony clearly said: ‘When you’re ready... Why don’t you try that on?’ referring to the IronSpider, he was going to let Peter into that room ONLY if he put on the suit, covering his identity. Not exposing it.
So why is she so calm about this?
She trusts Tony. She trusts his judgment. She knows this kid is important to Tony and that he sees potential in him. See, this is probably the third time in this movie where they let us know that Tony has been talking nonstop about Peter.
Tony even tells her this: ’You know what? He actually made a really mature choice. It just surprised the heck out of us.’ like this is a random topic they speak about every other day.
She casually asks where he is, and then gets exasperated because she has a room full of people waiting for Peter. Tony made Pepper organize a room with fifty reporters to introduce Spider-man as the newest member of the avengers and she agreed with it. She knows the kid is special. She knows the kid can do it. Why? Because Tony told her. Because Tony constantly talked about the kid.
They were taking a break exactly because of his obsession with the superhero world. His obsession with putting a suit around the world. So why would she agree with Tony’s decision about Peter? She can see the kid is good for Tony.
In that exact same scene, he told Happy: ‘How about a loose follow? All right? Boundaries are good.’
One of the greatest things about Tony and Peter’s relationship is how they both help each other grow. And this is what Pepper saw. She saw this kid helping Tony recover from many of his deepest traumas and toughest scars.
Then two years of her witnessing their relationship we get this:
Tony tells Pepper he had a dream about them having a kid. And instead of being surprised (given that Tony has never before expressed a desire to have kids) like you would expect her to be; surprised or confused, this is her reaction.
She knows what this is about.
Notice how Tony doesn’t say we named her or we named the kid, he said: ‘We named him after your eccentric uncle.’ He was thinking about a boy. And how much of a coincidence is that he’s been a father figure to Peter in those two years and suddenly he’s like: ‘Are we expecting?’ lmao
She’s like: Riiiight. lol
She even points out they don't have a wedding date yet and the man is already thinking about kids.
The next discussion plays a big role in Tony’s denial in Endgame. She tells him that if he really wanted to have a kid, he wouldn't have the housing unit on his chest. And Tony insists that it's nothing. It's just a housing unit for nanoparticles. lmao
He again insists he’s just trying to protect them (Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, etc) and the future (Peter). And tells her that it’s only in case there's a monster in the closet. There’s a monster and Tony’s been afraid of this monster for six years and we all know it. He’s scared.
She can see how Happy he is. How excited he is to finally settle down. He’s really thinking about doing it.
She knows this is not only hers but Peter’s influence.
Then life is so tragic for Tony that in that exact moment Strange comes and tells him everyone is in danger and they need him. So he does what he always does. He helps, he puts the universe first.
And then the bad thing happens.
Bear in mind that Pepper is probably the one that saw Tony break down a thousand times over the course of those 5 years. She saw him mourn Peter. She saw him cry for Peter. Even with a kid, wife and a life without the superhero pressure, he’s not happy and you can see it. Throughout all of Endgame, he wears the worn-out expression all the time. Like he’s exhausted and tired. Emotionally drained. Now, by saying this I’m not implying he doesn’t love Pepper or Morgan, it’s just that someone who has lived through so much like Tony doesn’t really recover with only a few years.
And you know what’s worst? Pepper saw him put that picture of him and Peter on the kitchen, where everyone could see them. Where Tony could remind himself every day of his failure. He probably designed the house and she saw him put the picture where she knew he would see it every day. In a house full of happy memories and family photos. She knows Peter is family and that he lost a child.
I’ve known so many people who have lost their kids and one of the things they usually do before, through, after grief? They want the world to remember their child. Some of them keep their rooms intact, not touching anything or moving anything, some frame their biggest accomplishments on their walls and some keep their pictures close by. This is what Tony did.
People who have lost kids can learn to pick up the pieces and move forward, but their lives will never be the same. And this is one of the things you can see in Tony. He’s not the same. He can move forward but the person he was before Titan? He can’t get him back.
He struggled every day with happiness, having everything and nothing at the same time. Imagine him holding grief in one hand and his happy ending in the other. Everyday. Pepper saw all of that.
Think about it, he didn’t have anyone else to share his grief. Ned and May were dusted. He was alone with his grief. Pepper could only support him with some things, she must’ve felt impotent. And this is important later in the movie.
Then Cap and co come to his home and ask him for help. Scott tries to convince him by telling him that they have a chance now and asks him if he is really not going to even try and Tony right out says: ‘That's right, Scott, I won't even. I got a kid.’
‘I lost the kid’ / ‘I got a kid.’
Then, Pepper sends Morgan to ‘save’ Tony from the conversation. She knows this is painful for him. She knows what this means to him. She must be tired of seeing him suffer for this.
Cap argues that this is a second chance and Tony tells him that Morgan is his second chance.
Tony tells him that he ‘can't roll the dice again.’ It’s too painful for him. He feels like he already made that mistake once and it’s not willing to go through that pain again. And Natasha clearly tells this to Steve: ‘He’s scared.’
When he cracks time travel, he tells Pepper that he did it. And notice how she puts her hand on his while she tells him they were really lucky but that many people weren’t. She entering a dangerous topic for him and she knows it.
He immediately avoids her eyes and tells her he can’t help everyone. And she assures him that NOW he is capable of doing it.
He’s still scared and she can see it. That’s why when he tells her that he can stop at that moment, something he didn’t in the past and he believes is part of the reason Peter died. He says he can put a pin in it and go to bed. But she doesn’t let him and asks him if he is going to be able to rest. She knows he won’t. Because in those 5 years he hasn’t exactly been resting.
Remember when I said Pepper must’ve felt impotent? This is where this part comes to play. She’s tired of seeing him suffer and she knows how important Peter is.
So she proceeds to spend the majority of the battle protecting Peter.
‘Hang on. I got you, kid.’
Protects him and stands in front of him almost the entire battle.
This kid is important and essential in Tony’s journey, happiness and life and she is determined to not let him get away again.
And the worst happens.
True. Peter is suffering here. He’s in deep pain. But doing this might be just as painful for her.
She now has to watch Peter break himself just like Tony did in those 5 years.
And you know she’s going to keep an eye on him. Will help him with anything he needs.
She knows this is what Tony wanted. For Peter to keep going, to keep his legacy alive. And she’s going to support Peter in the process.
I’ll be doing the Civil War and FFH later if you guys are interested.
#tony stark#peter parker#spiderman#irondad#Iron Man#spiderson#endgame#avengers endgame#infinity war#avengers infinity war#pepper potts#homecoming#spiderman homecoming#hoco#iw#eg
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by Lillian
Peter discovers the zany world of superhero fanfiction in general and of Ironspider fic in particular. Then he starts reading it. So far everything could be chalked up to ordinary curiosity, if only Peter didn't feel moved to write some himself.
And once you're at the point where you're sneaking into your mentor's bedroom so that you can correctly describe it in your next fic, anything can happen. Like falling in love for real.
Words: 2266, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Ned Leeds
Relationships: Peter Parker/Tony Stark
Additional Tags: Humor, Fluff, Pining, Crack
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Tony: fuck me if i'm wrong but
Peter: you're wrong
Tony:
Peter:
Tony: what
Peter: what
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just out of curiosity do you ship Tony with anyone? I only really ship pepperony tbh, I don't really see the appeal in the other ones (except maybe science bros (cause they're best buds) and crack ships such as starkquill and ironpanther (idk why they seem ok I guess?) also kind of ironspider but in the sense that Tony is Peter's father figure cause otherwise it's gross
thank god you clarified the last sentence bc i was about to judge you real hard lol
#i ship pepperony only tbh#and brotps such as science bros ironstrange and the father-son relationship of tony and peter#Anonymous#asks
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